Chapo Trap House - Bonus: This Is Sus 4 – The Slap

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

Felix and Will review the 2015 NBC family drama miniseries event "The Slap."

Hey everybody! I can't believe we made it this far. We are now on episode four of This Is Sus. For this episode, I have both a very exciting guest and a very exciting show. The show is something that I got a lot of recommendations for. A lot of fans of the This Is Sus universe demanded that we watch this. And I thought, why not bring on one of the four most experts in TV and film to discuss this show. The Slap. NBC's The Slap. Zachary Quinto's The Slap. Other than Will Manneker. Hello, pleased to be here. Will, I have my notes here. I have everything written down about my thoughts about The Slap. But before we go in, what did you think about it? My review of NBC's The Slap. It slaps. No. This is a good one. I'm sure that you watched it because

it is a show about your two favorite groups of people. New Yorkers and Greeks. And Gen X Greeks. Yeah. This show made me like a Turkish nationalist. Yeah, me too. There was a lot of stuff about the sickness of the Greek and how they need the blade of the Kirk to keep them in line. We might as well just jump in. All right. So, the show opens with Hector, Peter Sarsgard. He works as like some generic commissioner in New York. Yeah, it's Hector. It's like each episode is about a different family member. And it's sort of like centers on them. And sort of, you know, I think in, you know, sort of a sly nod to the great Stanley Kubrick's Barry Linden, each episode also features sort of like an omniscient voiceover narrator. Yes. I believe is Brian Cranston.

And it sort of begins like, you know, Hector began every day like he usually does, fantasizing about fucking the teenage babysitter who works for his wife. Yeah, we all get into that. And he then went to his job, the New York City Department of Bodengar Regulation and Neighborhood Gentrification. Yes. Yeah. Well, okay. So he's, he's outward. He turns 40. He has a 40, 40th birthday party at work at like, yeah, the Department of Bodega Dust. And he makes some weird joke about how they're going to make New York the shining city on the hill that none of them can afford to live in, which is like, I don't think that was a joke. I think that was literally his job. Yeah. No, he's literally just giving tax breaks to Jared Kushner to make the city worse.

Okay. So after his party, after they give him, you know, whatever kind of office birthday cake, like, you know, celebrations or like, like, sir, the mayor's on the phone, and he's like, your honor, hi, would you like to have some of my birthday cake? And then he's like, Oh, you won't be giving me that promotion. All right. Well, fair enough. Bye. Bye. Yeah. He passes him up. But because Hector's a cock, he's like, I'm honored that you even thought of my face for even a second. They're really hammering in that Hector is a huge, huge cock. Yeah. So, yeah. Hector just watching this 40 minutes of television was like a really exquisite glimpse into just

like the life of kind of quiet desperation and personal hell that comes with being, you know, a meek Greek man. Yeah. The Greek, the Greek is like, they're sort of similar to like a hobbit or a dwarf in fantasy. They're born to serve. That's what we learned from the show. But some Greeks, okay, there's a character who's very alpha and I think it's implied. I'll get into my theory about him when we get to him. He would stand, he would, he would, he would defy the Turk. Well, I have a theory. When we get to this character, okay, I'll get it. When we get to this, I have a theory about him. Okay. Let's just take, let's take one at a time. This is as the show unfolds. Yeah. In traditional Greek style, Hector goes home and lies to his wife and it's like, yeah,

actually, they're thinking about my brochure. They didn't just like pass me up because I'm the office cock. But yeah. His wife is played by, what's your name? Fandy Newton. Fandy Newton. Yeah. Yeah. And I like, like he goes home and his kids obviously have no respect for him. They have no respect for him. They hate him. They won't stop playing. They're looking at tablets and he's like, you know, can't get them to come to dinner. His wife is, you know, sort of a bit of a shrew, you know, like he's got, he knows the lash of the rolling pin, Hector. And, you know, like his, his, his, his escape from this is going to his study and listening to jazz records on vinyl fantasizing about fucking a teenager.

Yeah. His fantasy is he imagines having sex with Connie, who's a babysitter who works at his wife's clinic also. And it's a weird fantasy because they don't, like it's just the prelude to sex where she's like, we shouldn't do this. So even in Hector's fantasy, he's forbidden from doing things and getting yelled at kind of. In his, in his ultimate private alone time fantasy, he's thinking about telling a woman we shouldn't be doing this. Yeah. So he, he wakes up from his fantasy. Like he, I guess part of that fantasy is he's finally telling someone what to do, but he wakes up from there. We find out, yeah, his wife never fucks him. He wakes up because his, because his kid is like, dad, I, I, I flushed all your computer files down the toilet.

Dad, dad, our Montessori school needs a new yarn ball, play non-competitive kickball with. So yeah, his kids are annoying. We find out that his wife, Aisha, had to do it, never fucks him. And she cucked him by throwing out his cigarettes, which is a traditional part of Greek food, smoking. So that's really sad. Hector wants to cancel his upcoming birthday party. And he wants to bang his wife. He wants to take her to a hotel. She's like, no, we invited 20 people. Also, can you go to the wife clinic to get me some wife tech? And he's like, of course he says yes. Of course he says yes. No, it's like the other thing was like, okay, so like they're, they're both stressed out about the party and I don't know,

like if you're turning 40 and having a birthday party with 20 people, it's like, come on, by 40 you should have like three people that you like hanging out with. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, you should have picked out, picked who you actually like being with. And so, I mean, honestly, I'm relatable. Like I would, I would not want to be having like this birthday party either. And also, crucially, his, his two big fat Greek parents are coming as well. And his, and Aisha is like, Hector, you better make sure your parents don't bring like, you know, all their Greek food, like, you know, we have lots of food. He's like, okay, all right, I'll try to, I'll try to talk to them. But you know how they are, you know, you know, these Greeks,

you know, I've never stood up to anyone in my life. Hector, Hector, your parents bring 50 birds every time. Birds are going to pack out our kids' eyeballs. Hector, please tell your dad to stop bringing those parrots around the house. So he's driving to the wife clinic and he has a flashback to, I think, everyone who wrote the show's fantasy, showing Miles Davis to some like, how old is Connie supposed to be like 19? Or even younger? No, no, no, no, younger, two youngs have a cigarette. She's supposed to be like 16 or 17. So Hector is like a bashful pedophile. And he actually, like, kissed Connie in the car after showing her Miles Davis, which is insane. This is fucking insane. It's pretty swag. So he gets to the wife's door. You know what he

reminded me of? Like, Hector's character really reminded me of like a Park Slope version of Kevin Spacey's character in American Beauty. Yeah, yeah. Because because A, he's also a pedophile. Yes. B, but like similar type of Spacey's character in American Beauty. It's like, and like the director wanted to show like, ooh, like, what is the secret inner fantasy life of like a middle-aged cock? Yeah. A middle-aged cocked suburban man thinking about fucking his teenage daughter's friend. And they portray that by like, she's on just a bed of roses and petals are falling on you. Which is like, I mean, Kevin... No man has ever thought of that. Yeah, Kevin Spacey didn't have to come out as gay after that. What's your most darkest fantasy? All right, so there's a bed,

California King, surrounded by roses, fresh roses. What? What homie? There's just a there's just a mild scent of sandalwood in here. Yeah, that's like, yeah, that's like, in any time of fantasizing about fucking someone, it's never like, I don't really think about the bed. I mean, if anything, I think about the period of my life where I had a floor mattress, it was kind of hot. But so Hector goes to his wife's clinic and he's like, uh, yeah, if you've seen any of the wife technology my wife needs, you know, the wife pills. And he runs into Connie there. And he lent her a book about, you know, city architecture. Probably it's not mentioned, but I think I'm pretty positive that they're referencing Jane

Jacobs. Yeah, yeah. It's that's part of the 40 year old guy, PUA manual, lending a 16 year old a book. He invites her to his birthday party. And also like, there's like, the omniscient narrator like states like, you know, Hector made a deal with himself. If the light would turn red, he would stop and not go to the clinic and think about giving a girl a book and inviting her to his birthday party. And then he like, just sort of like, it turns red and he still goes. So even he can't even, he can't even defy his own thoughts really like, or no, he does, but like that that's his little victory in life. Yeah. Yeah. So she's excited to go. She says that the clinic closes. I would love, I would love to spend my Saturday at like my 40

year olds, like co workers husband's birthday party. Yeah. With a bunch of 40 year olds who hate each other. But she's very excited to go. She mentions that the clinic closes at two today, which is actually very realistic to how things in New York operate. The hours of like any doctor's office in New York are about, I'd say like 11am to 2pm. So all Hector and Aisha's boring, awful middle-aged friends and Hector's parents are in Aisha's kitchen and they're doing like the traditional upper middle class, a gen Xer slash boomer thing of drinking shitty cocktails and making annoyed eyes at each other. There's a lot of that going on. Yeah. There's a, they're complaining about how their kids can't get into like the little St. James pilot program.

Being insufferable to each other. The kids are being insufferable. I had a lot of flashbacks to my childhood here of just like being at a dinner party at my parents and everyone's just looking at each other annoyed and me being annoying. But I did like, there's the kids and the adults and like there's like the siblings. I didn't quite fully suss out like how everyone was related to each other. But like there is, I guess his sister played by Melissa George who has the son Hugo. The most annoying son. The alpha irritating son. She has a like, you know, neuro atypical boy named Hugo who will be, you know, like the kind of linchpin of the, you know, title of the video. Yeah. And then her husband is the guy who's sort of like the

fish face guy from the newsroom who tells the pilots that we killed Osama bin Laden on a flight. Yes. Very happy to see him. Good to see that guy again. He's being typecast as annoying guys. Yeah. Then there is, God, who else shows up? Okay. So his parents show up and then his dad is played by Brian Cox, Logan Roy, playing a Greek man. And then his mom, of course, has brought like no fewer than like 30 Tupperware containers of like lamb. And like food. Like lamb is the only food that the Greek eats because it's the only creature they can outsmart. No offense. And also, yeah, I feel like when you catch this line, you like she thinks and she comes like the big fat Greek, Greek mom comes and she is immediately, she does the thing where like it's she's in the

household of like her son and his wife. Like his wife should be like the head of her household. Yeah. That's cucking a woman. She immediately domes Ayesha in like every way imaginable and just begins like ordering people around and just treating it like she is the master of the house. Well, that is like, okay. So cucking for like, there are a lot of things men can do to cook each other. That's something that like women can do to cook each other. And this is also never happened to my mom. My mom is the alpha of her kitchen and always has. She wouldn't, she would never let some pushy old broad come in there and demand like a different kind of olive oil like or something. Yeah. If my, if a Greek came into my mom's kitchen and was like,

where's the lemons? My mom would exercise castle doctrine. The alpha of her kitchen. So I couldn't really relate to that part of the scene. I never saw that happen to my mom growing up. She was the queen of the kitchen. That's good. That's good. That's why, yeah. That's why you turned out strong. Yeah. Exactly. Strong role models. My mom was always like the alpha. Like she's a, she's a sort of the John Wayne type. Strong but silent. You know, it's just, yeah. Like, like, like someone who comes into like your kitchen, like you've prepared all the food for this birthday party that you planned. And then this annoying old bat shows up. Yeah. Like, like, like, just, like, like with a catering service worth of shit. And I don't know if you caught this.

She originally comes in, she's like, I brought the coffee cake for you. And she goes, the Jews are so much better at desserts than the Greeks. Okay. That part's insane because that means she got like, she went to South Williamsburg and got some shitty kosher coffee. Like she just has no taste. Like, I don't, I couldn't catch if that was like a kosher bakery or just like some, like a Jewish person owned a bakery. There are a lot of great bakeries owned by Jewish people because oftentimes our dads are lawyers or Goldman Sachs guys, and we just get really into high tech baking. But I don't think it was that I don't think she would be hip enough to go to

one of those places. So presumably a kosher bakery. And also kosher, there's some amazing Greek desserts. So I really didn't appreciate her bad mouthing her own culture like that. I just really pissed off about how much food Hector's annoying parents brought. Our hero shows up though, at this point. Our hero Zachary Quinto shows up. Yes. The hero of the show is cousin Harry, played by, you know, Mr. Spock himself. Zachary Quinto. He's driving a fucking- He pulls up in like a fucking- A hundred stack Range Rover.

A hundred K Range Rover. Yes. And then he's just like, yeah, we're in this shithole neighborhood in Brooklyn, do I park this thing so it won't get broken into by a fucking, you know, Puerto Rican or something. And then it should be that they're in Park Slope or Fort Green. They live in like- Yeah, they're never- I'm the only- The brown stone is like the nicest part of Brooklyn that exists. I'm literally the only man to get robbed in a neighborhood like Brooklyn in like 40 years. I'm the only one who's ever happened to.

It's like him and his wasp wife. Who's like wearing, by the way, every woman is wearing like the 40-year-old like yuppie wife uniform of like a dress and like a cardigan. And his wife is wearing a fucking cocktail dress. She's- Yes. Absolute fire. Yeah. So like, yeah, they pull up in the rave and like, you know, like electronic doors, like the suicide doors, just like, you know, and he's just like, he's big dick in it.

Cousin Harry. And then like, he has to some line where he's just like, oh, like, there's something like, what do you got? He's like, Kector's like, oh, you getting ready to invade Iraq with this thing? And he was like, yeah, well, we should. So- Yeah. And this is like in 2000, he's like, we need to invade Iraq again. Like, I don't agree. Yeah. I don't agree with Harry's politics, but I appreciate that he's like, you know, he's- He's like, though everyone in that room is like, I don't know. I mean, I like Beto. I also like Kamala. And he's like, no, we need to invade Iraq, install Jared Kushner, his god king of the Middle East. I appreciate that he's about it, you know?

So like, you know, he's, Harry is, he's about that paper. It's clear that Hector's parents like Harry, they're, they're, they're nephew more than, than him. So much more. Just like, yeah, like, he's got his was wife and like, like strong boy. He's got a strong boy with him. Yeah. His kid is the alpha of the, like all the kids that are nods, Eric, he does kids there. They're all just like, I want another iPad. This iPad is only 60 hertz. I want to, I want to watch the marriage story on 120 frames a second. Like they, they're, they're all breastfed. They're all bosses. Okay. Well, we got to talk about that. Zachary Kittos kid is like a traditional bully in rocks. Okay. So then I don't quite get what

the relation was, but Uma Thurman shows up with that's, that's Hector's, Hector's childhood friend. Okay. So Hector's friend played by Uma Thurman shows up with like Penn Badzley, who's like, she's bringing her boy toy to her best friend's 40th birthday party. And like Penn Badzley is basically playing himself. He's like a young, like hot, like kind of like, like TV actor. But he's like also like, like probably, I don't know, 20 years younger than Uma Thurman. So she's, yeah, she's, she's a bit of a, she's a bit, she's a bit on the prowl, you know. That kid's living the dream. Good for him. The two good characters, the three good characters, like Uma Thurman, the 20 year old boy, she's fucking and Zachary Kintos. But yeah, Zachary

Kintos immediately gets into it with like the sister's husband, who's like a painter. The guy played the newsroom guy. I love this. I love this part arguing about politics and shit. Well, they argue about art and Harry is totally right during this argument. So before this happens, by the way, he yells at Hugo for bumping into him. Montessori style. That was awesome. Everyone's more annoyed at each other now. But Zachary Kintos, yeah, Hugo is he's one of these nightmare, like, like crotch spawn. He's got like, he's got long hair. It's like, you know, his parents, like just no discipline. It's just like a feral child who is not really a bully, but like uses his own, I don't know, ability to throw a tantrum and be like a selfish little

prick to bully adults. Yeah, that's do it. That's yeah. But yeah, that is how you raise a nightmare adult, just letting them do whatever and never get a haircut. Like he's like, I don't even think it's ever implied that he's like really typical. He's just like fucking annoying and his parents suck. His parents are fucking ducks. What I liked about this pilot episode is that as soon as they introduce the character of Hugo, and if you're like vaguely aware of what the show's about, you're like, oh, I see what's coming. And they like they they telegraph it by like having Hugo do like like an escalating series of obnoxious, awful behaviors that are like that they're just it's just getting my blood up. And I'm like, oh, I can see what's coming. Like my favorite scene in

this episode is that like during the party, Hugo finds his way into Hector's jazz vinyl and just like throws them on the floor. Yeah, just because he wants to. And he's like, it's just picking up his like Miles Davis records and like scratching them, smacking them against the coffee table. And then, you know, Hector sees it and he like allows himself to express as much anger as he possibly can, which is basically like Hector. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then as soon as Hector was told no to do that, he just goes. Yeah. And then his mind should be stressed that Hector is about six or seven years old. Yeah. kindergarten way too old to be doing this. Okay. So yeah. And then immediately his mom picks him up, cradles him,

just flops down in a chair, whops out her kit and the kid just starts like having a drink. He is doing he's doing a cake stand on Melissa George's plate. Basically, I do want to talk about I do want to rewind Zachary Kitto's argument with the newsroom guy was incredible. Zachary Kitto's point is like, well, I don't know how good any art is. So I'm just going to judge it based on how much it costs like cars. And it's like he's right. Art sucks. He's totally right. Like, can you imagine the bird brain paintings that the newsroom character probably paints? It's probably like a dollar that casts a shadow over a street that poor people crawl out of. Or it's not even like it's not even that like literal. It's just like, I call this

like, you know, an experiment in color or something. Yeah. And oh, he has one of those things where like it just all black paint and then a few specks of white and he's like, this is about how liminal spaces create an energy. And like people are like his aren't so shitty that I bet billionaires don't even use it to launder their pedophile money. Like it just no one buys it. And so Zachary quit at Kitto's right. You should just buy one of his exotic cars. Zachary Kitto is an alpha car dealer, by the way. That's his job. But Connie shows up and she brought a board game for Harry's book. Did I catch this right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She she says, I got you this present at Bergen Street Comics. Oh, I remember was a real this is like lots of Brooklyn details. Yeah,

yeah. This is a show for Brooklynites. Yeah, this is this is this is this is real Brooklyn hours here. And she buys them like it's a big it's like a Chris Ware, like like like sort of graphic novel about buildings and cities. And it's like, you know, if you're not familiar with Chris Ware, he's like, it's it's comic books for people who read The New Yorker, you know, that sucks. That's sorry. And then she had like, what was the inscription on the note that she gave him? It wasn't it was so when they kissed in the car, they were listening to some Miles Davis song and Hector went, you know, it's just so it's so soft, I feel like it'll never end. And Connie goes, I hope it never ends. And then they kiss. So the note alludes to that song. Like it's like

some quote from Miles Davis. But she also brought Connie also brought her imbecile friend who I thought was supposed to be a boyfriend of their beats of touch of their but he's just like an asexual camera imbecile, who's just taking pictures for a photo essay, which is fucking weird. So I guess I just want to say here, like, this is just like yet another level to Hector's cucked existence. It's like he's inviting a teenager that he like fantasizes about like his babysitter to his 40th birthday party. So you can have like something at the party that's like for him, right? Yes. And then she shows up with some guy. And he's like, oh, yeah, you know my friend, right? And he's like, oh, yeah, sure. I'll be sure another teenager I don't know

can be at my birthday party now that her friend displayed by was it Lucas Hedges who went on to be in like Manchester by the sea. And now he's like, you know, he's pretty, pretty, pretty big time young. Yeah, yeah, he's one of those characters you'd ever think about. But if you typed into his name on Twitter, there'd just be a bunch of pictures of him looking like 500 other actors. And the caption would be Lucas Hedges, I want you to put a flamboyant up my asshole and would have 100,000 retweets. He's just one of those actors, you know, that people go crazy about that I barely know who he is. So back inside, Hector goes out to grill, like he's probably making, I'm going to guess, soy, judging soy, close. I would say Amy's chicken sausage.

If I can guess, knowing what I know about these people, he's doing like a sort of like a hickory hickory smoked estrogen. Yeah. And he's, yeah, he marinated them in soy lent. But he has some sexual sexual tension at the at the grill with Connie while Connie's idiot friend takes pictures of him and everything else. So back inside, I think he also crucially lets Connie drink beer. Yeah, yeah. He's letting a 17 year old get drunk so he can like confess his inner sadness to her later. So I think if this show went on today, like Hector's character, he would, he'd be like one of those QAnon got like one of the guys that QAnon talks about, they'd be like, sicko, Democrats, it's pictures of his dick to his 16 year old and it's Connie. And they put him

in a grab showing how all Democrats are pedophiles. But so back inside the gals are talking about gale shit. Uma Thurman's talking about the dick she's catching. But she's also like, I really like him. And you know, it's, yeah, whatever. I really like him. But like, you know, are we going to stay serious after he graduates high school? I don't know. Are we going to, can we maintain a long distance relationship when he goes to college? Yeah, he's going, yeah. He's going to bar it. I don't want to go there. Back inside Hector's getting his fail gifts. His parents got tickets for everyone there to go to Greece. Yeah, that's like another, another example of like, like her parents coming in, not consulting with anyone and just like dominating his life and

life of his family, like, like just on a whim. Yeah, like, we got the wall tickets to go to Greece. We see the Parthenon tomorrow. We go. We get on the plane. We go to Greece. And then Aisha, his wife, is just sort of like, oh, you know, like, here comes the no fun police is just, and also, but you know, correctly on her part, the thought of spending, you know, a week in closed quarters with awful these two creepy people. And all those annoying children. And it sounds awful. And then like, I used to just like, sort of like, um, oh, you know, like, I don't know. This is kind of short notice. I don't know if I can get away from my clinic, you know, we're understaffed as it is. And like, another detail I love in this show is that like, the parents start talking to

each other and their son in Greek when they want to just like completely shit on everyone. Yeah, they say something awful. They're standing right in front of and then like, was is his dad, his dad just says in Greek to him, he's like, son, in the older country, you have to, you must manage your wife. You've got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's just basically like, son, like, could you tell your wife what to do? This is getting embarrassing for all of us. Yeah, yeah. So Zachary could just goading them all to going. But everyone just committed to having an annoying argument. Like, Aisha is like, I can't leave. It's not that easy for me to leave the clinic. And the mom is like, I just never work and you're going to debt like us.

They're all members of the Sarita party as well. You don't you want to, don't you want to see uncle Yanis? None of these, the only character who could possibly be related to Yanis is Harry. Because like, they have opposite politics, but like, they have a similar alpha vibe. Like, Yanis is a big dick player. He's nothing like one of those family. Yeah, you just look at his like, like his, his sort of like, like intense eyes and like sharp skull. And like, yeah, that's Yanis. Exactly. Yeah, he's like, probably, yeah, he's probably like, closely related, same DNA. So in Hector and Aisha have some annoying ass fucking argument

in their bedroom. I thought during this scene, it was interesting. Aisha just like pisses with the door open. And I think that was like an illusion. No, there's no sexual mystique to their relationship anymore. So we go back to, yeah, we go back to outside. Everyone's being irritating. Quinto goes fucking trat. And he's like, you should spend time with your family all the time. You have to go and you must go on vacation. And then he demands that they turn off the jazz, which is one of the only things that Hector has. It was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I just like a slight digression here. I recently just, I just finished up, I just, I've been straight through the new season of Bosch on Amazon, you know, like,

yeah, you know, fans of the show will know that I am probably probably one of the most prominent Bosch fans that there is in this country. And it's just the funniest, like, like Bosch's only affectation outside of being a cop who's just fanatically dedicated to getting justice for like cold cases and putting, putting bad guys behind bars. Is it like he just comes home from work into his like sleek Michael Mann like glass cube apartment that like overlooks all of LA from the Hollywood Hills. And then his daughter is there who acts like his wife. And she's like waiting with his slippers, like a pipe and a glass of brandy. And she's like, hard day at the office, honey, I've made dinner. And then he's just like, I just want a fat

tire beer and listen to some Thelonious Monk. And he just puts on jazz vinyl records and just sort of like, and just sits there broodingly looking out over like the LA night scape. But there's just something about like being a man of a certain age that has adopted jazz and jazz records as like your kind of thing or like the one kind of, I don't know, cultural taste or hobby that you have. What I'm saying is that a jazz guy should probably be locked up. I think they need to go away. Except for Bosch. But Bosch locks up the sickos. But yeah. No, but there's just something so desperate about it. And with Bosch, like I love it because it's so funny. But like there's something about the way it's written where they're like, it's just kind of a joke.

He's like, he's not, he's not just the cop. He's cool too. And it's just like, I don't know, jazz music wasn't even cool when it was like, even a thing, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was one of the funniest things in the book. That was like a recurring joke in the boondocks was that the grandpa always just wanted to listen to jazz on the radio. And I thought that was hilarious. But no, it is like, it usually does show like desperation. Like you're just looking for something. You're like, you're halfway through your life and you're just staring death in the mouth and you're regretting your life. You're thinking of every single choice you made to lead you this point being like, if only I did this, if only I did this. You think of every opportunity

that like you missed to get pussy and now you're 40. Yeah. Oh, brother. So Zachary Kinto Harry gives an amazingly heartfelt toast. Actually, he does show he's the only one in the family with any heart, even though he's trad and an imperialist. I mean, while he gives this toast, Noah gets breastfed again. This is a real contrast to different types of people at the party. Yeah. Two full scenes of like a seven year old just going to town on mommy. Connie's imbecile friend takes pictures of Hector inside and Hector jokes to him that he wants to kill himself. Weird scene. He's like, yeah, here's a teenager I just met. Like, hey kid, when you're my age, you'll, you'll, you'll every day when you go to sleep, you'll hope that you just never

wake up. Yeah. Hey, guess what? Nothing to look forward to. That's being married and having a family, it feels like. Oh, man. Hector sets up a game of wiffle ball for the really irritating kids while Zachary Kinto and the newsroom cook keep having arguments. They try to. But again, like, like, like another escalation. Hugo runs into in person full first as soon as he arrives. He destroys precious jazz records. And then he's in there like beautiful brownstone backyard, just ripping up flowers from their garden, just like, just like their lawn and just like, just causing damage. And they're like, oh, no, um, you go be mindful, be mindful of the flowers. When we talked about mindfulness, they're flowers. And he's just like, no, no. And then

also he, he, uh, when he's playing with the other kids, he dominates the tablet. He won't let anyone else play Minecraft when they're like, they're like, you know, let someone else play play the Minecraft. He just like slams it on the table. He is awful. He is truly awful. And it's just, it's just ratcheting up the tension. And then it's just like, I'm just like, Oh God, I need a hero. Who will, who will rise? Who will rise? So, uh, our hero and newsroom cook, they're having arguments and they try to find common ground and Harry goes, well, we love our kids and we want them to be happy, right? And newsroom cut goes, man, hey, man, our kids aren't even ours. They're long-term house guests. They don't belong. We don't use terms like belonging. And it's like,

what the fuck? Well, what? This is the most insane shit anyone said at this party. That's fucking ridiculous. Like, what do you mean they're not? I don't know if that's like, listen, listen, job, turkey, like, just a roommate I live with. I can't tell him what to do. He has his own life. That was the most insane thing I've ever, like, it was like, are we supposed to like this character? Because I fucking hate him after that. Like, what the fuck are you doing? It's a roommate that your wife breastfeeds for presumably his entire life. Yeah, I gotta help, pal. Hector and Connie flirt under the porch, Uma Thurmond sees them and during the game, the whiffle ball game, Hugo's getting made fun of because he can't hit and Hugo just goes to attack.

No, no, no, no, no, crucially, they're playing whiffle ball, right? And then for some reason, Somebody gives Hugo an actual wooden bat. Yeah. They're like, no, Hugo, Hugo, you have to use the other bat. No! No! Hugo has so many transgressions.

It's hard to keep track. And then he just starts like whipping around this wooden baseball bat, like fucking like the Nero and the Untouchables, you know? Enthusiasm, you know? As a child becomes preeminent, he's expected to,

when he gets a titty out of his mouth, what is that? What gives you me pleasure? Baseball, but yeah. I'm now entertaining the argument that Hugo may be kind of an alpha. Like, he's an agent of chaos that like, but like these people's bloodless lies,

like they need something. They need like a chaos agent to shake them out of their stupor. And like, and Hugo's just like extreme violation of like every like repressed social norm that they like, the quiet desperation with which all these people live their lives and like the resignation and deferring always to others

and like never really getting what they want or even asking for what they want. And then Hugo, this little demon child just comes in and just does whatever he wants instantly. Like no filter, throws the records on the ground, screams, puts a titty in his mouth, swings a bat medicineally at other children when they've asked him to like, you know, share.

So yeah. Yeah, he's kind of a joker, but Kento springs to action. Well, crucially what happens is, like like, they're like, your turns up, your turns up, the three strikes when you're out and he's like, no, no. And like, as he gets more agitated,

he starts just whipping that bat around more and more. And Harry Zachary Quinto's son is the one being like menaced by the bat. Yeah, Kento's. Give me the bat, Wendy. Give me the bat. Kento springs to action. Give me the bat. So before the, yeah, before, before this crucial scene,

I want to give you finally my Kento theory. I think that Kento is not a Greek. I think he's a Turk. I think that explains everything about his character. Why is he alpha? Why does he, why does he not, you know, broke? All these characters aren't dead as his traditional Greek lifestyle.

All these characters are ordered around by Germans as good Greek lifestyle. Kento is not, Kento's a baller. Kento has a Turkish fade. Doesn't have a whole head of hippie hair. He has a Turkish fade. He has, wears tights pants, like a turk. His wife wears a cocktail dress everywhere,

like a rich turk would. He will not stand up. He will stand up to the aggression of a child, like a turk would. He believes in traditional values, like a turk would. He's, he's like the hero of the show. And we know this because he goes up to Hugo, grabs him and slaps the shit out of him.

He just like, he sees, he sees his child is in danger, being menaced with a deadly weapon. And then all the other parents are just like, they're like, oh, like, you know, we've been, we've been trying to have Hugo practice, you know, calm this. Hugo, no. And he's like swinging a bat at the head of a nine year old.

Yes. And like, okay, Harry sees this. He like, he like jumps over like the porch, just like, like, just darts across the lawn. A true athlete. Just, just like John Wick, just does like a John Woo barrel, like roll across it. Yeah.

It gets up, grabs, grabs this little demon by both arms and shakes him. And it's like, no, no, you, like, you never do that. And then this little bastard just kicks him in the shin. And then Quinto just reels back full force, just mollywops this little brat right across his face. So I wrote, I wrote, I wrote here. This is the moment that made the shit like it worth watching.

This is what we are all waiting for. And everyone's freaking out, but I want to, my notes here, Zachary Quinto is the hero of the show. He introduced excitement and drama into these people's lives for the first time. What an absolute alpha. Maybe he shouldn't have slapped the kid, but come on. He needs to try a discipline and it's way better

than the liberal parenting and breastfeeding he's getting anyway. What I liked about, what I liked about setting this up is that, like I said, as soon as they introduce Hugo, like the writers and like directors are smart enough to know that like the audience will be going into this with the baseline moral principle that it's never okay to, for an adult,

let alone not the child's parent to just smack the shit out of a child. Yeah, no, no. But they, they ratchet up the tension in such a way that any viewer deep down inside will be asking themselves, at what point would I hit this child? No, yeah, absolutely. Or would you, at least maybe you wouldn't hit the child,

but if you saw it happen, something inside you would be like, yeah. Would you use, if you were in this situation, would you think of Harry as America thinks of Israel as a proxy for your desires to take the heat to hit Hugo? This message is not an approval of Israel. This has not been paid for by APEC. So they have a big fight and Newsroom Cuck acts

like he's gonna fight Harry. He's not, he's not. But everyone has to be like held back. Hugo's awful parents tend to him. They act like he got shot. No, no, like, yeah, like, Newsroom Cuck is like, like, like his version of that is like, he's like, hold me back from my phone, bro,

before I call my lawyer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, you fucked up pussy, I have Siri. So there's just another awful thing that Hector must diffuse standing in between anyone. So after everyone's getting done, after Hector sends Harry and his wife home,

Harry, by the way, like his wife acts upset Harry's wife, but it's like, he's gonna bang her out in the Range Rover on the way back. Oh my, yeah, he's gonna, yeah. In front of their kid. Megatron in the range. Scarring the kid forever. Like he's showing his-

That kid's really cool with it. This is like- Yeah, yeah. He's showing his child what Alphas do. Tell your son's this. Tell your son's this. Harry is definitely a tell your son's this guy. He's like, probably telling his fucking awful bully kid

about forex trading and selling e-books online and getting email lists in the Manosphere. He's a dark triad man. He is an Ivan Thorn for us. He's like, yeah, he's absolutely a man of dark triad. Like the dark triad man, Ivan Thorn, like his masculinity, mentality and coaching is just all about like how to avoid becoming like Hector.

It is, it is. Hector needs to take those Manosphere classes. He really does. Because Hector at his own birthday party, like turning 40, you know, sucks enough as it is. Like he just realizes at this birthday party, like I don't want to be here. I've been passed over by a promotion.

Like no one respects my parents, wife and children, have no respect for me. I'm pining after a 17-year-old girl. And like I'm basically the saddest man alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, my life, maybe, I wish there was a scene where Harry gave us him tickets to an Ivan Thorn hate or like a seminar or a web seminar in the Manosphere.

Yeah, he gets sent to some house in Eastern Europe where they lift a barbell and like eat raw steak. But so after that, Hector is just dying to burst with an arriving woman. He wants to burst so badly, but he's really doing it with a babysitter. Yeah, he's got to stop. So after this is diffused, Hector

goes to tell Connie that they need to stop. I mean, Connie still feels a lot for him, but he's like, we can't do this. This is disgusting. Like we can't do it. I mean, he's probably going to raw this child later in the miniseries, I'm assuming. So back inside, Aisha, bitch is about Kento,

despite the fact that according to Dark Triad Psychology, she instantly desires this man. Hector tells her that he didn't get the promotion and she's like, well, why don't you tell me? We wouldn't have done that birthday party that you didn't want to do. And he just bangs her out in the kitchen. And this is like, I guess like a happy ending for it,

like considering how poorly it could have gone. Yes, and then the, I think the Brian Cranston like Barry Linden style voiceover narration as he enjoys his, the last cigarette he will ever be allowed to have. Yeah, that's very sad. Like at nighttime, like, you know, everyone's going home. He's just like, he's just blasting that sick.

This is like his one kind of like pleasure, one in life for himself. Yeah. The voiceover narration is like, you know, reflecting back in the day's events, Hector was grateful for the slap because it saved him from like doing the thing that would have, you know, ended his marriage in life.

And like it provided like a break, a moment of clarity and like, crucially, to get all these annoying fucking people out of his house and just be like, and gave him a kind of a realization that he can't keep flirting with and like, you know. A child. Like, like, like, yeah, dipping his toe into the pool of statutory rape.

Yes. Well, so, I can't, well, you know what? Actually, what are your thoughts on this? Because you're not as experienced in the NBC genre as I am, but I did, this is not, this is very dissimilar from council of dads or this is us. This is, like, it's definitely meant for like a Tony or audience. So what did you think about this?

You know, like, it was, it's silly and like I hated every character in it, but it was not as excruciatingly bad or grating as I expected it to be. Same, yeah. Like, it was not, like, I was expecting it to be like, like an atrocity, but like, there's a certain something there. Like, you know, it's got a very good cast.

I think the woman who directed the pilot, Lisa Cholendenko, is like, is someone who has like, she did like a Laurel Canyon and high art. Oh, wow. She has some like indie cred, you know? Like, she's got a pedigree, like. It's well-directed. Okay, so I will just restate this for the audience.

I talked about it in the last episode. So I figured out that there are two main types of network dramas, right? There's this is us and council of dads. Like that type of show, it's very clear what the message is to it's for. That's for like middle-class, lower middle-class people. It's for Ellen viewers.

It's for people who are living bad, fraught lives where like just any hospital visit can bankrupt them. And the message of those shows is, as I figured out, hey you piece of shit, you have your family and friends, right? Stop fucking complaining. Okay, look at all the terrible shit these characters go through.

Don't you love it? Don't you love it? Don't you feel sad? Fuck you, fuck you. You want me, Ken Olin to pay more taxes. Fuck my fucking dick, you little cunt. Fuck you. And then there's the shows for like a more upper middle

class or striver audience. And that's this. This and it's this and it's a million little things. And I think these shows are interesting because they're always about, they're always about. This is like, this is like, this is before, like this is, yeah, it's like a slightly higher pedigree. And like this is more in the vein of like the genre

shows that have like proliferated now, like the HBO, Big Little Lies and now this million little fires fucking show. Like they're based on like novels. This is an adaptation of an Australian TV show that was based on a novel. So like, yeah, it's like, it takes place in a milieu of like, just sort of the, like, yeah, like I said,

like the, the quiet lies and like, you know, sort of surface, like beneath the surface of people's like very rich, like nice lives. Yeah. They'll have very good jobs. They live in a beautiful house. Like they're, you know, like perfect family, but like, you know, like they have their own agonies

and miseries as well. Absolutely. And I think like the message of a million little, little things that was like, hey, your lives aren't boring and useless. Like you have drama. You can have drama and excitement in your life and friction. And I think with this one, it's more like a million

little pieces is in the same. I don't know what is that one. Is that, is that the James Fry like drug addiction book? No, no, no, no, no, no, it's about, so a million little pieces is about like a group of friends who like their world is torn apart by their best friend, Ron Lemington committing suicide. And it causes them to like open up about issues

and problems they have in their life. And everyone in the show makes $7 million a year. This show is, it's more for like upper middle class people. And it's like, you think your life is boring and shitty and you regret everything and you just do so much you don't want to do. But that in and of itself is its own hero's journey. So I think like, I think like,

I definitely wouldn't watch it if it wasn't for the series, but I would say it's probably like the best thing that I've watched for it. It's like very well directed, competently directed, great cast as you alluded to. And it's like, I will say this, like all the problems in it are very realistic. It's like, yeah, you have a bunch of people over,

you don't want to have over. It's very realistic to like the upper middle class lifestyle of just having a bunch of friends and family who you fucking hate and doing things you don't want to do. Then no one like gets cancer and dies. I mean, I shouldn't speak too soon. You know. I mean, but like, but the, the hook of it

is on the surface, the most ludicrous of all these shows. It's like, what would happen if an annoying child just got like fucking decked in front of you, but yeah. But that's like, that's more realistic than any of these other shows. It's a more realistic outcome that they would have like this more conservative member of the family who does it.

Like, I was like, not exactly that, but there are things like that that I saw happen growing up where like there was a type of like culture war tension and shit. Like this is probably the highest, like this is the best thing we'll watch for this series. I think like that there's a reason this episode is running shorter than the other ones

because like this is us and Council of Deds and they have just so much, there's so much going on. Everyone has cancer, everyone is dying. Everyone, like there's always a huge life struggle. When you tried to explain to me, like what the actual plot of this is us was and like, when you explained to me like what, who Sterling K. Brown's character was

in relation to everyone else, I was like, I still don't get it. Like he was like a baby left at a fire station who was adopted by a Vietnam vet and like now he's like family or something. It's just like what? And like the show takes place on like two different timelines and like, I just, yeah, like I'm still baffled by it.

It's a baffling show. It's a baffling show, but this one, it's a lot less to figure out. I really appreciated this lab for just being like sort of boring mediocre TV and not just like insane and insulting and infuriating. Like again, it's like, yeah. Honestly, like there wasn't, like watching this

like, you know, 40, 42 minutes or whatever. Like I did not like, like my body and mind did not like viscerally rebel against it. I just, you know, like I watched it and I was like, you know, like this is nothing I would ever like seek out on my own. Like all I knew about it was like, you know, the slap, the hook.

And, and just like, I just basically, I just want to see a gif of the dark triad man and like using martial, martial discipline and physical corporal punishment on a rowdy breastfeeding child. And I want to see it slowed down and like, I would like to see a version of this show, except it stars and is written by like every black standup comic from the nineties.

And the show is three minutes long. Yeah, yes, yes. So I think like, I think next time you come back, Will, I'm going to have you watch This Is Us because I wanted to show you the contrast between that and this. This is, this is the show, by the way, this is the show that I got more requests to do

than anything and I knew it wouldn't measure up to what I'd already watched. But for everyone out there who asked, we did it. And it was the best show that I've watched for this series. Again, nothing I would watch at my own time, but you know, hey, that's life. Will, thank you so much. A pleasure.

I would definitely want to come back and I want to see an episode of This Is Us and Council. No, we're going to, yeah. I need to know what these shows are like. I need to know what they're about. No, yeah, we will do that. We will do that soon.

Will, do you have anything to plug? Nope. Yeah. Oh, wait, I do have a plug. Season six of Bosch on Amazon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is the goofiest season of Bosch yet. I'm just going to let you know that it begins

with a plot line about sovereign citizen terrorists who steal radioactive material from a hospital and are going to seemingly set up like they're going to build a dirty bomb to blow up a federal courthouse. Bosch fucking ons. Yeah. And then there's also a stab at addressing Los Angeles

homelessness crisis. Wow. And like the chief of police played by Lance Reddick is like running for mayor. And he's like, there's one scene where they're like, he's like, I'm announcing a new rollout for my homeless strategy. And like one of the cops is just like,

well, homelessness is like a very, it's like an interlocking set of crises in like the housing market and like mental illness treatment. And like, I don't know if we can really deal with it. And he's just like, we're dealing with all of it. We're taking the war to the homeless. And like this whole thing is just like,

we're going to use compassionate policing to like, you know, to just like, like target with like, with LAPD SWAT, like the troublemakers, the drug dealers, the violent people in the homeless camp, the tent camp campments. And then we're going to bulldoze them. It's just, it's, it is so funny. I mean, this is the goofiest season of Bosch yet.

You're not into Bosch. Just started season one. I'm in season two right now. His relationship with his daughter is even weirder on this season than it's ever fucking. I got a good job. Like, like his daughter on this show is his wife, mother and daughter at the same time.

And it is like, it's very weird. It's a lot of psychology going on. And he loves jazz music. That's all you need to know about Bosch. And, you know, like he gets, he always gets his man. You'll always get some Bosch. I mean, I just, I see, cause I've like, I took a break cause Catherine and I are doing a,

we're going through justified. She's never seen it once season four. Oh, Catherine, she's so lucky. It's, it's the, it's the fucking best show. It's like, it is. It really is. It is a show that like on its surface, it's like, it delivers.

It's like, it's not, it's not too smart, but it's so much better than it has any right to be. Like it's like, it's an insanely good show. You know what I mean? Like it has, it's not too smart, but it doesn't try to be that smart. Like all the, all the humor and justified, I think is incredibly funny.

Unperfect. It's very funny. The writing is very good. And obviously like the performances of like, you know, like Walton Goggins, Boyd Crowder is like just the God. He's, he's the best criminal of all time. We just watched the episode where like he, he like, he fucking, he pulls the fucking rug out from under like

the rich Cloverhill guys. And he's like, now what you've done and how you made your fortune may make you criminals, but it don't make you outlaws. I am the outlaw. This is my world. Yes. Fucking so good.

Sit your white collar ass down. And then the sex party. Oh God, wonderful. But in like watching these two shows, like very like close to each other, I just, I was struck by the contrast between Detective Harry Bosch and US Marshal Raelyn Givens.

It's like the Virgin Harry Bosch. Like all he does is he's really good at his job. Like he's obsessed with being a cop, like staying like extra hours, just looking at paperwork, following up every fucking lead. He calls everyone. He works with brother.

He's like, thanks brother. Thanks for that. He wears a divorce guy bracelet and drinks one beer a week. The Chad Raelyn Givens terrible at his job. What the worst? What are the worst? The worst at what his job is supposed to be.

Like one of the worst law enforcement, one of the worst people to ever carry a badge is the only thing he's good at about being a cop is understanding criminals because he basically is one and engineering situations in which he gets to murder people. He's like, I was just thinking about,

I was thinking about like the pilot of Justified begins where he gets like kicked out of the Miami office because he just shoots a guy in public in broad daylight. Like he just blows him away. It's fucking, just fucking mercs him in a crowded restaurant. He just smokes this dude like with like the bearish pretense

that like, oh, my life was in danger. And they're like, okay, well, we can't have you here. You're going back to Kentucky. And then like after that on every episode, he like he kills someone like every other episode in a similar fashion. They're like, you're in Kentucky. That's just the way it is.

Raelyn clocks about 20 bodies this season at least. Raelyn has a body count that's like Corona level by season four. It's just like, he is a one man, like he's like a plague. He's, yeah, what a great show. It's such a funny show. He has put more lead into people than like the Roman plumbing system.

Yes, yes. And by the way, the gunplay in the show is like very, it's way better than any TV, like cop procedural gunplay has any right to be. The way that it's struck, like I love the justified follows like the bad guy of the week thing. Yeah, it's very, it has a perfect mix of like, yeah, like like case of the week

and then like overarching arc season plot. Yeah. They do like a really, really good. Cause like shows that are just all one plot can get a little tiresome. Like it like it sputters out and then shows that are only case of the week. It's like, there's not much investment in it.

They're sort of disposable. But like Justified has like the perfect mix of like the overarching plot and like the bad guy of the week. Yeah. No, what a great show. Yeah, everyone watched Justified too. Wonderful, but like Raelyn Gibbons is like

the most Chad cop ever. He is. Cause he's terrible at his job. He's really bad at his job and is also really rude to all his co-workers and like lazy. And like half of the things he does on the show is just him freelancing with the US Marshalls badge

for like personal shit. That he has no jurisdiction or authority to do. Yeah. Let alone kill someone over. He never does the Marshall job of like making sure witnesses get places. He's just killing people. Exactly.

They're like, like Bosch is like, I'm staying an extra six hours today to look at paperwork to solve a cold case that's been closed for 20 years. And like Unjustified like, or it's just like, oh Raelyn, like your dad shot a state trooper. You can't even go down there. And your dad's involved.

Could you look into this? And he's like, all right, all right. At first I got to settle a gambling debt for my ex-wife and I'm drunk right now. Yeah. They punish. When Raelyn gets punished by art, it's like, no, you literally just have to do the job you signed up for.

You have to like get scored a witness. And Raelyn, whenever they said really to do this, Raelyn always finds a way to kill three guys while they're doing this somehow. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, what a show. I just saw one like in season four

where it's like a Detroit hitman has been sent there to like, you know, like kill who they think Drew Thompson is and then kill Boyd. And like Raelyn shows up at Boyd's bar when like the hitman dressed as a state trooper is like arresting Boyd. And like he's impersonating a comp and he's going to go like kill Boyd.

And then like Raelyn just within like 30 seconds of talking to and interacting with this guy. He's like, okay, gotta leave now. He's under arrest. Could you not interfere? Raelyn just susses it out and then just like draws and plugs him in the chest with like onsite.

And then he was like, man, I hope I was right about that. And they're like, yeah, yeah. Art's like, well, well, Raelyn turns out you're not a cop killer. But it's just like, he just, the guy doesn't even draw on him. He just, he just like, he just like smirks

and then like Raelyn just plugs him dead in the chest. Yeah. Put him down like without any warning. Like he was just. Decimated. I just, I had a gut feeling about it. You know, so yeah. Yeah, watch Justified and Bosch

and check out the slap if you want to. It's, you know, it's worth it to see that little kid get slapped. That's basically my take on it. All right. Will, thank you so much. We will, we'll see you again on this is us to, I don't cancel.

I think I have to make Lucy the official council of dads correspondent, but you can, we can definitely do this is us. All right. I'll, I'll see this is us. Definitely. I need to see this show. Yeah. No, you have to.

All right. Okay. Always a pleasure. Always. I will talk to you tomorrow. Cheers. I think I'm gonna make this show. You