Chapo Trap House - Episode 210 - ICE to See You feat. Jake Flores (5/13/18)

Episode Date: May 14, 2018

We take a moment to salute the life and achievements of Sen. John McCain, and then are joined by comedian Jake Flores (@feraljokes) to hear all about his run-in with the Department of Homeland Security. For Jake's Tour Dates check his twitter account @Feraljokes Read Katherine Krueger's interview with Jake here: https://splinternews.com/the-brooklyn-comedian-whose-joke-about-ice-got-him-a-vi-1825865670 Support International Whore's Day and fight SESTA/FOSTA: https://macc.nyc/2018/05/11/International-Whores-Day.html Donate to Rakem Balogun: https://www.gofundme.com/help-with-the-fbi-sabotage-recovery Listen and Subscribe to Pod Damn America: https://www.patreon.com/poddamnamerica

Ladies and gentlemen, it's my duty to report to you that Arizona Senator, former presidential candidate, and one-time prisoner of war, John McCain, is dead. Serious about restoring honor and civility to our politics, but he did pass during the night. He puff puff passed a fat ass blunt. Looking on that al-Qaeda, John McCain, look, the hits keep on coming. He's been disrespected by one of the people in the Trump White House. One of those prayer moments when they're cool, like it's like every six months, somebody

in the Trump administration just decides to be incredibly cool and just disrespecting and dying senator once again. You're winning me back. Stop it. It's a mystery, Senator McCain requested that someone do the President Bartlett yelling at God in Latin scene from West Wing at his funeral, and since they couldn't invite the president, they were scrambled to find a replacement, and unfortunately, Senator McCain should had great-grand-kid Hunter Gavin booked Takeshi 69 to do this, and it's irrevocable, contract

is signed. Damn. This is going to be awkward. But you know what? We don't need dynamism, do money, man, that makes no sense. Scum game. Guys, guys, I'm looking at my phone right now, and it does say John McCain has flatlined. I'm sorry, watch the film Flatline.

Oh, okay. The reman? Yeah. But Megan, Megan McCain tweeted the day in response to this White House staffer saying he's going to be dead soon, who cares. She said, these men who say this will be forgotten. They're nothing burgers. But my father's legacy will last for hundreds of years.

And even if he did have Takeshi 69 at his funeral, people will remember Takeshi 69 longer than they will remember John. They'll remember him longer anyway. And here's the here's how you know that who in from 1920, who is more famous now? James Cox, the guy who got defeated by Warren Harding in the presidential race or L. Jolson, who's more famous, Warren Harding or L. Jolson. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. The guy who actually won. Come president. He didn't win shit. Takeshi 69 accomplished, no matter what you think of him as a guy, he accomplished way more in the past four months than John McCain ever did. What did John McCain accomplish? McCain find gold after getting pinched as a member of the Keating five.

Go on. Citizens United. Nihilated. Didn't even last. What? Didn't even last a decade. Yeah. Six nine five billboard top 100 songs in like five weeks.

Incredible. John McCain threw his entire lot between behind two Republican presidents who hated the shit out of them. And he hated even more probably because one said that his adopted grand, his adopted kid was an illegitimate black child he had and the other just, you know, you pick the awesome thing Trump said about him, you know. So yeah, I really do hope that his last last wish for Trump not to show up at the funeral is disregarded.

That would be so cool. And Trump goes out of his oppositional defiant disorder is like, I'm not you're not you're not going to let me go. Fuck you. I'm going and he just shows up and he just sprays beer everywhere like stone cold Steve Austin. He sprays Diet Coke. Yeah.

Trump everywhere like Fanta Fanta fucking squirt guns like it's an ICP concert. But Trump comes in in the fan man set up. Oh, everyone said my suits were too big. They work perfectly for this. You see the way they collect their OK, we're going to get rid of this. This kills birds. I don't like it. He goes up to Jeff Flake and goes, hey, buddy, you want to win?

You want to get five bucks? A hard way? You see the thing where where Orrin Hatch was like telling John McCain, like, invite Trump to the funeral. Come on. Yeah. Come on, it's your it's your dying wish. But stop.

Cindy. No, no. Orrin Hatch is Orrin Hatch's wife. I don't know. Presumably she just walks into John McCain's hospital room and she's like, you piece of shit, John. You're a fucking asshole. How are you not going to invite the president?

Larry. No, I just hope that I just hope it's a star studded affair. All the stars of bipartisan ship are there. Simpson and bulls. How sad is it that Pete Peterson couldn't come? That's seriously a bummer. Yeah. All the all that brainpower could have gotten rid of the debt.

It's like, you know what that? Pete Peterson not being there. It's like Jimi Hendrix not being there for Woodstock 99. Lieberman's going to be there. He will. Yeah. Just imagine. Apparently I did read also that John McCain, you know, as he as he ponders, you know, the

great beyond, he says his biggest regret was not choosing Joe Lieberman. This is running made in 2008, that's the biggest regret in his entire life. His biggest regret is the thing that would have split his party and guaranteed that he went down as one of the biggest electoral losers of all time. He's a genius. I'm sorry. Sorry. Lieberman would be selling tummy tea on Instagram.

Wait. It's just a great way to get your summer beach body in line. If you're a busy mom, it's a it's a great thing that you can do. Okay. I am seriously though. So yeah, all the great, all the stars, all the great heroes of bipartisanship who are still alive come to John McCain's funeral and it's over and they're all the last ones there.

All the all the fail kids and media vampires are gone. It's just the real grizzled veterans of the halls of power and they're just drinking. They're sharing the whiskey. They're sharing tales of John and they just get that last sort of like heroic moment of like, God damn it, we only we have a little bit of life left. We love this country. Let's do it. And they all pile into a car and drive to Washington to pass a bipartisan bill to Bomber

I am. Oh, dude. I'm thinking it's Lieberman and Simpson and bulls or Lieberman and Lindsey Graham break into John McCain's hospital, steal his body and drive it to the leather and burn it like Graham Parsons. I was thinking that, okay, who's going to be at that funeral? Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Joe Lieberman, Ellen K. Simpson, Erskine bulls, the expendables of bipartisanship and Arnold.

Arnold will be there. Definitely. Schwarzenegger will be there. You know, it's the saddest thing about John McCain. Due to the torture he endured, he was never able to dab. He fought for our freedom to dab and he could never do it. I know why you dab, but it's something I can never do. John, John, this is an order.

I can't. John, John, don't lower yourself into voting for Trump's tax bill. This is an order. I have to do it. My kids can't get real jobs. John McCain also can't give the thumbs up as he lowers into molten steel. The molten steel just is him voting for Trump 90% of the time. What do you say, do you want to start the show?

Let's do it. Okay, we are back and without any further ado, let me introduce this week's guest sitting with us this week is Jake Flores. Hello. What's up, Chapo? Doing good. A Lenny Bruce for our times, you know, a man whose comedy is so dangerous that the Feds are getting involved.

Yeah, it feels good to be a free man. Yeah. It feels really nice not to go to jail. You know, the feeling you get when you cancel plans feels fucking great, man. So I don't know if you guys, you guys probably saw the story this week, but Jake, you got a visit from ICE last weekend. Technically Homeland Security. Homeland Security.

Okay. DHS. DHS. But it was because you made a Twitter joke about killing ICE agents. Yeah. No one thought you could post that hard. No, yeah, so hard motherfuckers try to find me. So I mean, this is both a funny and kind of disturbing story.

Yeah, it can be both. Yeah. That's sort of how it goes now. You know, you have to take this really seriously. It was fucking weird, dude. Well, are you and Nick the only people we know who have been visited by federal agents? It's so fucking weird because it's the new standard, though. Like if you're a comic, you was like, Oh, you think you're up and coming?

Where was your visit from a federal investigative agency? Yeah. What buttons are you pushing? You know? And it's like, he got FBI. I got DHS. We got, we need like Adam Friedland to get CIA or something. Well, actually, the army did come to my house because they saw the clips I shared of me sniping

on Fortnite. That's different. They wanted you to join the. They were like, we're going straight into the range and you don't even need to pass Ranger school because we can tell how, you know, strong. You're like, sir, select your class engineer assault or scout. You know, you're joking. But like, I remember like military people coming to like my high school and basically

pitching it as like you guys like gaming, right? That's actually like a tactic they use. Yeah. I mean, I know like the Pentagon. I like they definitely have people in the room with the guys who create like the call of duty games for sure. Yeah. I mean, they like their, their hand in glove with those guys.

And then they're used for training and recruitment independently. They have their own videos that they show the people who they sign up. They're like, uh, yeah, no, you'll only one life in this one though. No restart. What if they recruited from like new, new Mario game? Cause that's what wars are like now. Soldier, I order you to get to your heart heart boxers and jump around Manhattan. Got the big water cannon guys.

Hellman province, it's just like being in Grand Theft Auto at five star level and the cops never show up. Our file show, our file show that you are one of the most respected operators in the homestuck fan, fan mod community. We need your creativity and sensitivity towards jokes for our mission in Afghanistan. Do you understand? We're rebuilding the nation of Afghanistan is a lot like Stardew Valley. What?

We're opium. Yeah. Except you're growing opium. Our file say that you gave $300 worth of, uh, add-ons to an e-girl in league. This is the kind of dedication we need in Syria. Yeah. We're aware of your record at the game, Katamari, Damascus. We're rolling up all these Taliban's into a giant ball.

I can't believe we never thought about this. That is the type of game Trump would get in a trance by. So Jake, to begin with, like the beginning of this story, what was the actual joke you told? Okay. So where all this comes from and just to get it out of the way up front for context, I'm mixed race. I'm half Mexican.

Right. My dad's family's from Mexico. My mom's white. Um, so I kind of have a point of, I mean, pretty good crowd so far, this is a sensitive topic because I'm mixed race as well. I'm a Russian, I'm Russian Jewish and Ukrainian Jewish. Where do you get your borscht? Where do you get your hit?

I get my borscht from the invented nation with no culture that all became Nazis after the USSR. What? Huh? So single to mile was last week and, um, I was thinking about it and I was kind of arguing with somebody online about it because every time there's like a Latinx holiday, specifically like a Mexican holiday, there's always, um, this sort of slew of, you know, clickbait articles about cultural appropriation and they, uh, are kind of complicated.

I think that they're a little bit disingenuous and I think that there's like an outrage sort of industry online now. And I just kind of noticed like, yeah, Jake, it's, it's funny to me because you notice like, it's always like, you see like, like, they'll be like, uh, synchro to my parties and then there'll always be like, you know, frat guys or sorority sisters wearing some breros and fucking, you know, yeah, drinking Corona's and shit like that. Those things are then dredged up online and sort of, uh, you know, passed around as like, can you believe this?

And then it really plays on white guilt in a lot of ways, I think, where people, most of the people that argue about this shit are white because it's just about, you know, how they should be presenting their cells or whatever. So it's a really funny thing and I think it's, um, I think it's a little bit spurious, I guess is the way I would put it. It's also, we get into all that, but it's not really important, but so basically I was thinking about all that and I was thinking how funny it is that that's still a thing. The further we get into Trump's presidency because there's this fucking thing called

ice that exists. So for both of those things to exist at the same time, you know, for you, for people that are just online and they're old, they're only politics come from Facebook to be sort of, you know, it's like you're holding up an umbrella in like a hurricane, you know, you're, you're arguing about this very silly thing while there's this Gestapo. So I was thinking about that and then I trailed off into joke writing because I got to stand up to her coming up and I'm working on material. And so separate from my political beliefs, a funny thing just kind of occurred to me

about this, that it would be a good premise for a bit and the bit is I have a solution to both of these problems. It'll solve ice and cultural appropriation. Here's how it works. White people should be allowed to culturally appropriate to the degree that they fight against ice. For example, let's say you're a white person and you fucking murder an ice agent. Now you're allowed to wear a sombrero, right?

Pretty cool. No one can get mad at you because you fucking killed somebody, you know? Oh, and if you go on a five kill streak, you get a poncho. Exactly. I'm not even joking. This is the bit. So it's great. White people, you get a poncho, right?

The more people you kill, the more kills you rack up, the more offensive shit you're allowed to do, right? If you score a dozen, you can do an impression of Speedy Gonzalez. Yeah. And no one can give you shit over it because you're doing way more than everyone else, you know? You're like this fucking warrior at this point. And I mean, you bring up, yeah, like the fact that there is this like literal American

Gestapo right now that is like literally asking people for their papers and rounding them up. And then just this week after Homeland Security can divise you, there is the thing that they, John Kelly announced the new policy where they're now saying that they will separate children from their parents at the border. And then he said, and then someone asked him, yeah, someone asked him, doesn't this seem a little cruel and heartless? And he said, not really.

He's like the kids will be put in foster homes or whatever. Yeah. It's just I love that or whatever. I guess if you sent your kid to Afghanistan and I don't know how that turned out, yeah. Foster home or whatever. Doesn't seem that bad. Doesn't seem that cruel and heartless. You're right.

But, you know, that guy, parent of the year, that guy's blood is ice water though. Oh my God. Yeah. No, he's the biggest fucking monster in there. So yeah. So like, what was it like? I think you got to the end of it and it was like a hundred. You can just be racist.

Yeah. It had to be an end to this bit. And so it's, if you solve the whole problem, now you're allowed to just be full on racist, like with no rules. So Chris Kyle did it the wrong way. Yeah. He turned his gun on, on his fellow occupying troops. He could have said Haji Ali wanted to write.

There you go. You have unlocked N word. Yeah. It's an achievement. You get. So like, did you do this on second of my own? Yeah. And so I posted it on Facebook and Twitter.

I just have a habit of cross posting jokes like that. They're the two platforms I sort of used to flesh out jokes or to promote stuff or just, you know, frankly, I don't know why. Like, why do you use? It's pretty post. And that's a big question. I don't know. I just put shit up there, you know?

I post because I breathe. Yeah. So I put these two things up there and it was weird because no one really took issue with it on those posts, like on the tweet thread or on Facebook. One person was like, I bet you're going to get trouble for this. That's about it. Nobody, like I didn't really get anybody who was a big, like MAGA fucking, you know, chud or whatever, which does happen sometimes, but nothing really happened.

I have, I don't know, aggregated an audience or something of people that all think that sort of shit's funny, which is really interesting because when this happened to Nick and when this happened to, or when this sort of thing has happened to friends of mine, it always appears that what's actually happening is that social media is a bit of a panopticon and there's its other users that then report and go, oh, this is bad. I'm going to report it to Facebook or whatever. And when that happens, they always take the post down, but they didn't take mine down, which leads me to believe that it didn't come from another user.

It might have come from some sort of like algorithm that Homeland Security is using. Right. They just like kill and nice agent. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I would kill to give a firm handshake to an I see that's why you should have said compromise them to a permanent and that's like, but also be shirtless and wearing a cut off jeans shorts and Timberlands.

Yeah. Sorry. You got ridden up in the New York Post. Yeah. That's my favorite part. The New York Post wrote this up, but all they did was just reprint all of the interview that you did with friend of the show, Catherine Krieger of Splinter. Yeah.

So they basically just probably basted it and the only way they really added their conservative like sarcastic edge to it is just by using like sarcastic quotation marks around various words. Like a comedian, a reading the actual joke and it says a hundred after you kill a hundred ice agents, you're allowed to be full on racist and no one give you shit about it. Drive a low rider, call people wetbacks, get a weird tattoo of a cholo. That's also a clown for some reason. You earned it.

It's funny. Right. That's really funny. That's the worst part about all this is, you know, people keep asking you like, Oh, do you regret it or whatever? And I think it's fucking funny. I think it's got legs, you know, yeah, you should bring that on tour. That's a fucking great joke.

So since they didn't take it down or anything, I'm assuming the first time you knew you were in trouble is literally when the door got knocked on. Yeah. And that's kind of, it was kind of weird because, you know, they do a lot of things to sort of intimidate you and throw you off. But like how long after you hit like tweet to the, you getting a knock on your door? Okay. I have the definitive timeframe because I read the New York Post earlier and they, they,

I remember, I remember the line of them going, the comedian cracked the joke at 2 p.m. So, so I cracked the joke at 2 p.m. They showed up 9 a.m. the next day at my door. So less than 24 hours. Damn. Wow. And what happened was kind of, it kind of, it was kind of jarring and I need to clarify something as I used a little bit of colorful language and said that they kicked my door

in and they technically didn't. And so the story just needs to be told as for what it is because I'm not, I'm not trying to like portray myself as someone who got more fucked with than they did, but I did get fucked with. Well, I mean, yeah, the agents of the federal government showing up at your door, whether they kick it in or knock is still pretty, pretty unsettling. So what happened is I live in a shitty like loft and it has all this like leaking pipes and stuff.

And like one of my windows fell out the other day. It's fucking crazy. Right. And then there's this repair guy that just periodically shows up. I call him all the time. He just shows up whenever and he bangs like a fucking madman on my door, like he's a fucking department of homeland security. So I woke up, I've been awake for five seconds.

I hear this banging on the door and I think, Oh, it's probably the repair guy. That's when I opened the door. They might have been trying to bang in my fucking door. I don't know. But then they did this shit where they stick their foot in the door and I've talked to like lawyers and activists about this and apparently by their own rules, they have some weird legal thing. They're like vampires.

If you can get the foot in the door, then you have to let you in or something. Hey, jerk off. Come with me. You can live forever. Sound good? Yeah. So do you have, I think, in your pockets, any crucifixes, any garlic? Am I going to get stuck by a steak?

Do you have any wooden stakes in your pocket? Am I going to get stuck? For real, though, but that's funny because the other part of this is that I lived in this law for a long time, but it's I've always lived there just kind of in a room with this artist who made all this crazy new metal, like mannequin parts, like corn, shit, shit all over the walls, right? So part of what they were doing as soon as they came in is they started taking pictures of everything.

I guess to build some sort of case file on me who in their head is this like new metal corn terrorist, anti ice guy. Oh my God, you're like a domestic terrorist. I'm like law and order in like 2000, like the year 2000. It's like, oh, I listed a corn and I'm satanic and I just want to blow stuff up. Please the devil that's that street fight that's Brett and Brian. That's the thing. You just dime out Brett and Brian.

It's from an arrow when the cops all thought that the next mass shooter was going to be dressed like the crow. Yeah, yeah, like for a while we thought the next terrorist was going to be the demonious axe video where he's playing post all God in the times. Another coasted batch, so that time is basically so back. You open the door and then they just stick their foot in immediately and just sort of like barge in. Yeah.

But the thing about that is that I didn't really resist because there's this concept that I think has some truth to it, which is that you the way a lot of people's opinions of the police have are directly correlational with their amount of interaction they've had with the price. Yeah. It also relates to how you act when you're getting arrested and I have been fucking arrested a bunch of times. So for other funny jokes.

Hey, Jericho, if you're going to explain this reference to me, I don't quite get it. 700 fame so not bad like the idea of cops just arresting you because they don't understand the joke and they want you to explain it to them. What is a big mood in this world in this world's fucking Dennis Miller's like Steve Biko. Okay, how the how the fuck is Britney Spears like the match in online Jericho. So a couple of things occurred to me all at once and one of them was that I need to sort of like go into survival mode to some extent because, you know, trying to get out of the situation probably isn't going to work.

I mean, I have one door. They're already here. I'm either going to get arrested or not. And also, you know, there's, there's something I could have done, which a lot of people have sort of reached out to me about, which is just freeze up and sort of plead the fifth and whatever, which if you have an actual like something to lose, you should do. But I found myself in a unique position because I'm a fucking comedian. I don't have anything.

Also, you had to have thought, oh man, this is some good content already hilarious. Like as soon as I realized what was going on, I was like, well, I might die, but this is like funny. You know, like there's, you can't really separate those things or whatever, right? What did it like? So how many of them were there? Four guys. Four guys.

Yeah. So like what did they, what did they look like? What sort of like demeanor and appearance? So they were lanyard dorks. So these weren't like the hot dog neck, Oakley wearing fucking cop. No. These are like the, the nerds that they send out. I mean, they're moderators.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The federal government's mods. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did they actually have lanyards on?

Did they show you identification? They did not. And I didn't get a warrant. And part of what's going on here is that they, I think probably purposely wanted to throw me off by waking me up. So like, I didn't really think. Right. I mean, yeah, like check those sort of things.

I didn't get their names. They came in at the crack of morning at one PM for any reasonable person gets up. Yeah. But that's a good thing. Like, I mean, it's, it's very easy to like, like think back on this about like what, you know, all the things you should have done, but like in that position, you're sort of like off balance. You don't really, you're just sort of, it's hard to, it's hard to like rationally assess

like, how do I approach a situation like this? Yeah. And I had some instincts, you know, and I've also prepared on some level for this sort of thing, just in case it ever happens. And so one thing that happened was they did ask some, some leading questions and a lot of people have sort of asked me whether I thought they were playing dumb because a lot of times they will, so that you'll keep talking so they can draw information out of you. So one thing they did was they asked me, well, do you have anyone in your life who is affected

by this issue? Which like everyone does, but you know, they're trying to bait me into then going, yeah, you know, this person, you should go talk about it, you know, if just, you know, a little PSA listeners, if a federal agent ever asked you, homo says what? Yeah. It's one of their leading questions they like. Yeah. Watch out for any goateed federal agents who come up to you and say, who are you guys?

Yeah. They ask if you want to hurts doughnut. Are you going to take it a little ride along? It's called punch buggy. Mr. Flores, are you now or have you ever been a member of the Penn 15 club? Yeah. All right. I'm going to field sobriety test.

I need you to spell I cup out loud. Right. Yeah. They sick and up dog on you. So like, so they, like, they come in your house and like, how do they like introduce like the reason for them being there? So we saw your posts. They start, I don't remember the first thing he said, but he sort of starts talking about

ice and I started to go, okay, I get it. Yeah. I just, cause it's happened to Nick two years ago. I was like, I have a template for, you know, reference of how this goes down oddly enough, you know? Um, so they start asking me about ice and I think what they try to do in a lot of situations is intimidate you, which would have worked. A, if I had anything to lose and B, if I wasn't so fucking hung over and thrown off.

So it took a little bit of the wind out of their sales, to be honest with you, I think, because they started asking me about it and I just didn't fucking care to say anything else with the truth. So I told them I'm a comedian and I know that you know that because you clearly looked me up. I mean, how did you find me? You know, and it's a joke. It's a work of fiction.

It's not, you can't selectively treat jokes as statements sometimes I had written a screen player a novel about a guy killing ice agents, would you be knocking on my door, which by the way would make like an excellent, uh, uh, HBO fucking prestige television dystopian hunger games type thing. The whole cultural appropriation killing game, you know, it's a guy who's just like the Punisher, only his skull is a dance stealer's wear, it's basically Kevin D. Williamson wearing that outfit with a machine gun. Yeah.

Um, so I started to ask him the question and what was really weird is that he went like, yeah, okay, I can see that. And I was like, well, if you agree with me, why, like you could have sent me a fucking email, you know, like, why are you here? What is the weird sort of subtext of all this? Um, this is a sort of weird electoral districting thing, but what do you think Virginia turned from like red to kind of reliably blue in a relatively short amount of time? It was George W. Bush greatly growing the size of the federal government and necessitating

more federal employees and contractors in like sort of the DHS structure. And despite them working in like sort of jack booted capacities and for jack booted agencies, they are technically higher educated and higher paid and sort of trend towards being like metropolitan liberals. So our image, yeah, these DHS guys is, you know, hot dog necked blue lives matters guys who write open letters to, you know, Kanye West kids. But in reality, a lot of them are like kind of urbane people that would understand this joke, but it doesn't matter because their job is to kick in your fucking door.

Right. Because yeah, the hot dog neck guys are the grunts or the foot soldiers. Yeah. The nerds, you know, the detectives or whatever. Oh yeah. No, I see. I see your point. This is pretty bad.

All right. That is true about ice too. Because you know, ice only became ice like 10 years ago. Yeah. It's very recent. That's why people, when people think it's a radical position to want to obliterate ice, it's like, do you know how long it's been around? And it came from a like tea party immigration resentment and shit.

And they had to reduce any kind of standards for admission for federal law enforcement. They literally did. They have the lowest standard boards for ice. They have the lowest standard. Yeah. Like when I think of like your average ice agent, like I think of someone who is like has the same like psychopathic authoritarian tendencies to like get revenge on everyone in high school that cops do, but are still like too dumb and he failed even their shitty

side. They failed the fitness. They're like, they are the most for F guys. There's just like giant round hot dog skin maniacs. Ice is where you got fucking Oakley's on. But like their side of their head fat has grown around the Oakley's so they can't even take them off. I like bebop and rock.

It's like it's like it's like photo. It's like those photos of like a bike that's been left in a forest and the tree is like literally groan over it or something. Ice is where you go if you fail like the fitness and problem solving test for Securitas. Yeah. They give you a test of fitting shapes into like lots. Sorry buddy. You didn't have what it takes to be an Andy Frayne usher, but here's your ice badge and

got okay is my fucking job. Is it coloring in the entire cat without going outside the lines or is it arresting fucking burps? But I mean, again, yeah, jokes aside, ice is a depends what color the cat is if you work for ice. It's a completely new agency that came out of like, you know, tea party hatred of immigration and again, killing them or not abolishing ice should be the bare minimum for any politician that's running for office.

They can't say we should abolish ice. They're not worse. Yeah. And you know, there's a similar argument people have with like the healthcare industry. For instance, we're like, oh, where are those people going to work? The also also other default position any future candidate should have federal department to eliminate pit bulls. Uncontroversial issue that take care of a lot of these dudes as you just said, you can

shoot dogs all day. They would be like, that sounds great. Just give me a dog where I just walk into a room and empty a clip into a bunch of dogs. So that that thing you found will where like the cops are like, listen, you think it's all fun and games to legalize marijuana? Well, you know, those drugstiffing dogs, we're going to have to murder all of them. Oh my God. You guys see that?

You guys see this? Yeah. It was like one of the downsides to legalizing marijuana is that a lot of these drugstiffing dogs are going to be out of work. But then the only thing we can do with them is just put them down immediately. Yeah, just like a fucking just a cop with like a Punisher logo on a steamroller like front wheel. Just flattening a road canine officers.

The thing about it, though, is that like hurting me more than it's hurting you a little guy. You'd like to have people adopt the dogs. But once a dog gets a taste of authority, you can never you can never boss them around again. Yeah. And they're also ostensibly hooked on like weed now or what is that all about? Hi.

I'm Eric Kennedy, the third here for sensible solutions to marijuana policies. And then he just he straps on a World War Two era flamethrower just sprays an entire kennel full of police dogs. Is this the future you want? Guys, guys, we have some sad news. The entire Kennedy family was filming a commercial for the sensible marijuana policy institute and they all got into World War Two era spit firefighter jets to strafe a field full of dogs and they all crashed into the sea.

Your collective blood alcohol level was ten point zero. David from doing the he was a good boy catch catch catch and then fake throwing except it's a hand grenade. Yeah, David from tearfully in M one Abram shooting depleted uranium shell at a kennel. He's like, look what you made me do. No cops. Yeah, they love killing dogs. They love working with dogs until the dog gets about, I don't know, five years old and

gets like a burr in its paw and then they're like nothing for it. Yeah. And then they love to all line up and salute as they take a perfectly healthy dog into a vet to get like fucking shot up with phenol barbatol. They also, by the way, love leaving their dogs in hot cars. Yeah. Cops do that all the fuck would do that's called heat style training. So.

Oh, God, cops rule rule 2018, baby. This is the year of the cop cops, cops and men are coming in huge in 2018. I'm rooting for all of it. Well, they're such funny people because like as tools of the system, they can't simultaneously keep up with any of the political reasons that the laws they're enforcing exist. So yeah, they, you know, they have to justify that and they never can inherently, which is kind of what happened with this fucking guy because he started asking me like why I, you know, even had that attitude about ice and things like that, and I started explaining

to him and I was just referencing things that he just was like, what is that? And unless he was playing 40 chess and he was dumb, he really didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. Well, they don't have an idea. Like cops really don't have an ideology besides like resentment and I mean, you get to keep them because they like make about as much as us for pretty much the same job, which is sitting around with your friends all day being bigoted, but you know, they don't need to have one.

They just have an authoritarian personality. Well, I feel like they just, they need to justify their own job because it's, you know, it is kind of bougie and kind of professional class shit. You know, when you have to, you get a job and then after you get it, you have to justify why it exists and why it fits into the world and stuff like that. Now with like, so it's not one of those like self-evidently important jobs like Twitch streamers. So like there was one guy who was sort of like interviewing you and then the other three

guys are just taking photos of your apartment. They're taking photos and back to this vampire shit. I just had to explain one more thing. So at some point, someone who lived in this place found, I guess, this huge cross like you would see on the wall of a church and then brought it home and we put it upside down on the wall. You know, it's kind of funny, weird, satanic thing, right? But then someone got so fucking high.

I guess at some point they were like, what's more metal than an upside down cross, an upside down cross that's upside down. So they turned it all the way back up to a regular cross. Oh, you don't be crazy if we went to church every Sunday and tithed 15% of our income, dude. Yeah. So one boy, the guy's like asking me about what I believe in. He looks up at the fucking cross and I'm like, no, don't take that seriously.

That's like my roommate's shit. But also he was a vampire. And then the other thing that you said in the interview is like when the guy was sort of like, well, you know, what's your problem with ice, man? And then like, like, like, what do you think ice does? Then he said, like, we stop sex trafficking or something. Right. And he's like, that's the main thing they do.

But all those guys just love women. Right. And I think that that's really kind of that's the most important part of the story or what I really gleaned is what they believe they're doing. Because I told them that's the same bullshit they used to pass Cesta Fosta. They do this thing where they allude to a nebulous, uncountable underworld of sex trafficking. You'll be taken. Yeah.

And you can't argue with it because sex trafficking definitely exists, but they can't put the numbers to it to justify things like Cesta Fosta. Right. So with Cesta Fosta, you can take a look at all the people that they like arrested right after they passed it. And they were all sex workers that they arrested for sex work, not for sex trafficking. Right. So it's really easy to see what happened there.

They used a boogeyman to convince a bunch of people, oh, this is why this thing exists. And if there are outliers and they sometimes do they fuck up, it's it's a it's an aberration. It's different from the main work they do that no one talks about. Right. That's what cops always used to justify. Like the killings and she'll it's just that's they don't show you all the times we don't kill people. It's basically the argument.

But the difference is police on the side of their car. It says to protect itself. Like there's a thing there. You can argue is a mission statement that's good and they're fucking up and getting away from it with ice. The state admission is bad. Yeah. The state admission is a Gestapo.

Is yeah. Check people's papers, break up families and then just like herd people. Yeah. Yeah. Like ethnically cleansed this country and put illegal immigrants into constant privately run concentration camps. And I'm using concentration camp in the original meaning of it, which was like war war war. What the British did to like isolate a population that's ethnically different than you and you

know. Yeah. Exactly. So like that they like, how did they, how did they leave and like, how did you leave it with them? Like when did you realize that like I'm going to get away with this or like I'm not going to jail? Well, like halfway through this conversation as they're like conceding points to me and

like they're like feeding them with logic, they're they're they're weird like intimidation thing that they feel like they started with and it's part of their protocol just deflated pretty hard. And so I was just sort of sitting around with them and the mood really changed. Like you could feel it in the room. It went from like, holy shit, something's about to go down to this very weird, like Cohen brothers. He's sort of like, we were just sitting around a table and I was explaining Cesta Fosca and

I was saying like, I say, at one point I go like, okay, so it's like, you know, when they make a bill and they say it's about one thing and they add also what's that calls like snap my fingers like this and one of the guys in the background of this whole scene goes like, ah, pork. And then we all go, ah, pork, right. Like together we're like talking our way through this and shit. So we kind of have this conversation and then near the end of it, I'm just like, okay. And they go, you know, oh, right, I'm supposed to say something to intimidate him.

And one of the guys is like, good luck on your tour next week. The tour was in two weeks. But you know, he's saying that to sort of freak me out or they're watching me and he sort of tells me like, okay, we're going to keep tabs on you and you should expect another visit. It might happen. Right. And that's kind of interesting because like, I feel like that's what a freaked out a lot

of other people, but like I already kind of understood us to be in a surveillance state. And this happens with like, I don't know, different communities, communities of color and things like that. People that have just been harassed by the police more are kind of more want to go like, yeah, duh, you know, didn't really freak me out that much. I kind of assumed it was already happening. Now I know it's happening. They might be listening to this, you know, there's all sorts of levels to it.

The rifts, you pigs. Yeah. But, you know, we don't need any cops in rift city, baby. Yeah. No, the, in, in Catherine's article, she did get a statement from ice press secretary Jennifer, uh, Elzea, who says the kind of language expressed even in an allegedly joking manner is reckless and irresponsible. It potentially puts at risk those who have taken an oath to uphold the law and public

safety. But again, back to your point about like ice versus the cops, like the, the oath they've taken to uphold is like, I, I, I pledge my life, honor and loyalty to, um, arrest children and separate them from their family. I am, I am, I am your first line of defense against a Guatemalan mother of four. Yeah. The other angle of this that is really funny to me is that like, there are so many libertarian free speech dork comedians that would have loved this to happen and imagine it would

happen if they gave a shit about deporting illegal immigrants, sir, you're under arrest for being too atheist online, all the things they believe in are not things that are really subversive to a level that you would actually tell me the intellectual dark web doesn't actually hold beliefs that are in any way dangerous to those in power or do it in any way. Uh, this is, uh, my name is agent Givens. This is agent Harris, uh, at, uh, April, April 3rd, uh, about 1300 hours. You posted, uh, oh really, uh, women want equality, but they won't split the bill on

a date. This is too subversive. You were under double arrest. Well, well, now, Raelyn, it's always nice to see you the dark in the door of my boat. I see you've been checking my Twitter account recently. Have you liked, faved and retweeted Raelyn? Now Raelyn, I'm on a little thing called our standup shots. If any of these peak your interest, you are free to repost them with attribution.

Well, we all got to get used to this because this is the new normal because this happened to you. And, uh, shortly after this happened, the Guardian came out. Do you have that? I really, I want to talk about that. Yeah. Let's talk about that now. So like, yeah, Jake, like, you know, your story, like you said, it was disturbing, but

also funny. Yeah. Uh, just like the same week that like we knew we were having you on just the other day, the Guardian had this big story about something that happened that is similar to yours, but like a million times more terrifying. And this is, uh, basically there was a, like a, uh, black activist. His name is Raquem Balugan, who basically, you know, he did a lot of like Facebook videos and posts about like how the, you know, how justified anger at the police for all these

killings of black people. He was arrested by the FBI and put in jail for six months. They held him in jail for six months. Uh, he has kids. He lost his job and his home during that time. And the scariest thing is that the FBI got onto them because someone showed them an info wars video where Alex Jones is like, they're coming to kill. They're coming to kill us.

You see this guy here. He says, go and kill cops. Like, I told the DHS guy, like, if you're worried about people inciting shit, go fuck with Alex Jones cause he's actually doing this. They're all Alex Jones subscribers, all these fuck all the grumps, which is so funny because in the nineties Alex Jones is all about, if the ATF shows up at your door, you're legally allowed to shoot him in the face. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. This guy, oh yeah. They, they, they, they like kicked down his door at like the middle of the night, handcuffed him, arrested him in front of his kids and helped, yeah, put him in jail for six months all the time, trying to justify this case. And of course they couldn't ever bring it to trial because there was absolutely no evidence that he had ever made any specific threat against a police officer.

He just said, and I think quite justifiably so, I don't feel bad. If a cop gets killed after I see, you know, this shit keeps happening, like. That guy has a, like, there's a go fund me up for that dude. Yeah. Let's put that in the, yeah. Let's put that in the show. I mean, like, yeah. I mean, that is really terrifying and disturbing.

Yeah. A lot of people sent me that article after this whole thing went down and most people, I think I have my back on a lot of this stuff, but I got a couple of annoying online, scoldy people that sort of wanted to go like, look how much worse it could have gone if you were not, you know, whatever. I'm like mixed. I'm kind of like. Like this, which is hilarious because like your entire timber for all this is like, yeah,

this is not the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Right. But I did want to address this on a big platform because that they have the wrong take. The thing about that is there is some level of privilege to what happened to me, but we're always telling people with privilege, be a good ally and use it. Right. And that's what I fucking did. I used the fact that I knew I could probably get away with that shit to do it.

Raise a bunch of awareness. Make the whole story. Right. And then, I'm sorry, a Raquem story is also terrifying because we know that like very early on it was DHS or the FBI, they released a report or a threat assessment about domestic terrorism. And the big thing that they were concerned about was, quote, black identity extremists. Right.

So like this is just Cointel Pro like all over again where it's just like, yeah, they're there. And then, I mean, again, like this is, I mean, I don't know how controversial this is, but I have been like seeing things online about how a lot of Black Lives Matter has activists in Ferguson have ended up dead, like suicide, not just Ferguson in New Orleans, tons of other fucking places. People who film videos of cops killing people, they end up, the guy who filmed the Eric Garner video, like I think he's still locked up.

He's still in solitary confinement most of the time. I think it's more than likely like Darren Seales, for instance, from fucking Ferguson was shot, was killed by cops. Well, yeah, I mean, the thing is, is that these guys, the, the, in Ferguson specifically, these murders are always, are often just sort of none of them are solved and then the local police sort of struggle and say, well, you know, gang violence, that's what it's like. If you don't let us do our job, that's what can happen. But these are not like gang style killings.

These are guys who got killed and then put in cars that were set on fire. No, they're all in cars all the same way. This shit is real. And I was talking to Sarah on left coast about this earlier. She came from like another country that was already a police state over here. Whole life's been police state. And there's this kind of thing that, you know, if it feels like this is like challenging your view of the world and it feels a little absurd to be like, this is how these things

are. That's probably because you come from like a little bit of a safer, just paradigm. And that's fine. But like, that's why these stories are getting told, like people kind of need to understand that this is a reality. You know, you, the police are, they are, they are killing these people. You know, they are committing these, these acts and I don't know, I feel like it's really hard to get that through your head.

If you grew up, even if you think of yourself as a radical or a leftist or whatever, you still just have shit programmed into your head from, you know, when your parents were like, call the cops if something bad happens, you know, and literally every television and movie program. Yeah. I was, I grew up, I grew up in a upper middle class white bubble, but my dad just personally hated cops. So that's awesome.

Good for him. He just didn't like them as people. He was right. This stuff tells you like another thing that's like, not, not a new phenomenon, but it certainly feels like again, over the last week, there had been so many of these fucking stories. And now to preface this, usually on, on social media or, you know, in any kind of public forum, whenever I see white people doing, saying shit like white people, am I right? We're the worst.

I always roll my eyes because I'm like, well, that's pretty fucking late. If you're not white, feel free to complain about white people as much as you want. However, It's very funny how guilty white people are. Well, however, this is one case in which I will go against my own advice and just be like white people shaking my damn head because they're, they do. We love it. Calling the cops.

White people calling the cops on people and burger. There are like, well, 19 stories this week about just white people hearing drum machines and calling the fed off the top. Can I get the five star rating on GTA now off the top of my head? There were the four black women checking out of an Airbnb who did get the five star GTA. They got the helicopter called out on them because literally they didn't smile and wave to a neighbor. I mean, the owner of the Airbnb they were staying with when Richard Comet was like,

they all could have avoided this if they had just smiled and waved at my neighbor. Jesus Christ. Yep. And that was walking war like they saw a group of women like clearly with luggage and shit like getting into like a taxi in front of a house, didn't wave, didn't acknowledge their little like a white person tight lip sort of like that and girl smile. Yeah. Yeah.

The bird smile that the Airbnb owner type has just calling them call the cops and then the cops brought out a helicopter. Why? Oh, we have a 339 Samsonite luggage. What the fuck there was just this morning I woke up to another one of these like viral video stories of a woman who looked eerily similar to Kenny Powers. She was very caught the cops on black people who were just barbecuing in the park on a Saturday.

Yes, because they were not using the fire pits. They were using their own barbecues. She said so when the woman who is filming her was like, why are we why are you calling the cops? And she said, because charcoal grills our city will pay more money and we have to pay more taxes when children get hurt. Bitch. Yeah.

What's going on here? I mean, how much does it call to get 15 SWAT teams to come out to get people who are fucking cooking a barbecue? She sounded like one of those of Miss America pageant people that doesn't have that's Americans. Yeah. It was that same halting. Yeah. Just smashing words together, but I would that would be awesome if every time you constructed

a sentence, your brain was like, you were playing Super Mario or jumping from platform to platform frantically. You're like, oh, how am I going to connect these words who made it? But the increased prominence of this stuff is partially because people are filming it now and we get to see it instantly on social media. But I also think it's part of this broader phenomenon. We've talked about a lot about how white people got Trump and thought they were going to get all the respect and it didn't happen.

So now they're basically using their allies, their fellow white people in the police office to sort of reassert a sense of like social power. And I'm going to get these fucking minorities to respect me because I'm going to call people who could literally kill them in front of me and not get in trouble. And like this is not like this wasn't going on during the Obama administration or either Clinton administration or before that. But I think the thing that's interesting is that like it's not like these people weren't like this before.

No. But I really think like when you talk about like the Republican base, like the psychology of the people who make up like, I don't know, real America, again, this is a broad brush, but I think you're dealing with authoritarian personality types. And the important thing about that is that authoritarian personality types like they may be assholes, but they become real assholes when they think they have permission from a leader figure. And I think Trump from day one, both to law enforcement, people in law enforcement themselves

remembered a campaign rally. He said something like, oh, yeah, put their head on the, you know, like crack their head into the car when you put it in. Hey, that's good. We used to do that. That's funny. And and it's just like, like, I think, you know, very consciously sort of giving people permission to really let out what's inside of them and like what with the stamp of the

president of the United States on downward, but for individual cops and these authority, the suburban authoritarians who call the police because they see a kid like, you know, running in the street or something or riding a bike the wrong way down, you know, down a one way street or something. Yeah. And of course, anxiety riddled urban liberals who have us like they might not want to, you know, they're not as unapologetic about their sense of racial anxiety, but they have a similar need to sort of feel like they're in control of public spaces.

Perfect example of that. Again, this week that the grad student at Yale who called the called the police on a black woman who is just napping in a common area in a common area in a dorm. And there was video of that too. And then if people looked up, this person's like work and she was, of course, like, you know, a liberal, you know, writes about like oppression grad school is pay to win, by the way. Um, and then why are you calling the cops and then what she what did she say?

Like, I absolutely have the right to call the cops here. Yeah. And it's just like, I do not like, here's a question. When is it okay if ever to call the police? I cannot. I was trying to think of like a single situation like maybe like if someone is in your house with an axe trying to murder you and you're like knocked in the bathroom, he's hacking through the wall.

I know. I know. Like, yeah, like Nicholson. Yeah. Well, the police. You know, sometimes it's, you can do it, so you're out of data on your LTE, but you need, you need to know hinders entire discography call any cop and they'll know. But the thing is mind boggling though, how unbelievably petty these things are that people

call the police. And what's terrifying is about it is just because for them, it's nothing. It's just making a phone call. I get to feel big for a minute. I get to feel like I'm in charge, but for the person who the cops are getting called on, it literally could be the fucking deaths because a ton of the most high profile, unarmed killings of recent times have been because some fucking skittish white person just like, well, I want to be safe.

I want to be short. Yeah. The cop. I want to call the cop. There was that guy. James Crawford to bear rights. The one that just happened where that guy got shot in his own backyard. Sacramento.

Yes. Sacramento. The guy who called the police on it. It did an interview after where he was like devastated and said like, I'm never calling the cops again. I can't imagine that that would happen. And so like take that to fucking heart people. Yeah.

That's what they're for. And the thing is, I think cops also sort of like have a brand and there's sort of an economic reason for this because they have to keep justifying their existence. So they sort of sell you the idea that like they are there to just keep things safe and they, they, they need to be out and doing all this stuff that they're doing, that there's like a reason. There's a, there's a demand for it. Right.

I saw this. On Facebook earlier today about a bunch of cops that went undercover to an ICP concert. Hey, hey, that's a federally recognized gang. Right. Yeah. They, they put on the fucking juggalo makeup and everything that they took a picture. It's fucking hilarious. Yeah.

Do they have to drink Fago in front of people to prove they're not under cover? Yeah. Man, I haven't seen you hit this shit once. It's like the scene in a movie when a cop's about to do blow and he's like, oh no, how do I get out of this? No, you've got that type two diabetes. Yeah. But, but the way that they branded it in their, in their, you know, those hilarious cop tweets

where they're like, we kept the place safe today or whatever it was. All right. It went great. We kept the concert safe as if what was going to fucking happen without them there is going to be a shooting over tech decks. Yeah. It's like, just admit you wanted to go see ICP. It's cool.

That is my favorite though. Like I follow some police precincts in New York on Twitter because sometimes they have really funny content and one of the funniest things they always do is when they do those like pictures of like their hall from like, you know, oh yeah, the streets or whatever. And it'll be like a $50 bag of mids and they'll be like, we got this off the streets. And I always want to be like, hell yeah, keep mids off our streets, no more mids. That's what I want. I want drug sniffing dogs that only sniff out mids and attack.

Yeah. Well, you heard about that. I don't know if it was the benevolous society or the NYPD, but one of those, oh, the sergeants of the sergeants. The sergeants. There we go. All right. The sergeants.

Oh my God. Read that. This tweet was the cop episode of episode one. I was going to say it was Alan Moore's Rorschach. Yeah. So this was a tweet, a very, very uncontroversial, very common sense tweet by the civilian complaint review board, which is something that New York has to try to try to hold police accountable. Yeah.

And they said it's a fairly meager. Yeah. And because it was as a part of a pathetic outreach on May 4th, they're like, Hey, it's just it's just classic like nerd, bureaucrat, bureaucrat shit. Hey guys, the fourth, fourth, remember Star Wars. We all love that. Right. Fourth.

Hey, well, may the fourth amendment, may the fourth amendment protect you from unreasonable searches and seizures. And if you feel like your rights may be violated by an NYPD officer, file a complaint here. That's so earnest. Just a sad. Everybody, but like think how uncontroversial that statement is like it's like it's really reminding you that you have a constitutional right. This is like constitution fucker shit.

This is just reminding you of the bill of rights. And so then this was replied to by Edwin Mullins, the head of the relationship, the head of the sergeants union, by the way, why do the sergeants get their own union get out of here with their workers? Yeah. As I said, you are all a disgrace. You sit on your ass and target the NYPD all well growing up on the nipple of what's easy. One day you will dial 911 when evil is at your door and thank God for the NYPD.

Seriously, can we post some of the open letters from the cop episode one because it's that's exactly what it sounds like the nipple of what's easy, the nipple of what's easy. That is a hell of a phrase. Yeah. You have you heard the nipple? It's easy. It's slams, dude. Yeah.

He turned out a lucrative post as a professor of English at Columbia to be fucking sergeants rep. So yeah, those are cops. They really want you to know that your Fourth Amendment rights are an impediment to them keeping the street. Just being aware of your Fourth Amendment rights is a disgrace just snarling pigs. Yeah. Just feral fucking hogs and hogs, razorbacks.

Well, I mean, that's like any any any any culture of impunity is going to breed just awfulness. They're also tracked awful people. They're also kind of isolated like cops have their own culture, which is why they have their own myths that they believe like, oh, the cell phone videos are actually just a big distraction and aberration and, you know, an outlier or whatever. But they all they all just talk to each other and hang out with each other. You know, they're all the same like Facebook groups.

Yeah. You probably don't have any other friends that aren't also cops. Yeah. It's like, I don't think you socialize much. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I went over to Steve's house and he fucking choked me out after I beat him at ping pong. I'm not going over there.

Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, the most like perpetually self victimizing group in America, yeah, our cops. Yeah. And they have all the power. That's that's credible. Just that limp dick tweet. But you guys, I know you like Star Wars and you also like the Constitution, you fucking

piece of shit. Get your pussy on the pavement. And they they demand, you know, to be seen as these brave figures when every time they shoot someone, they go, why'd you shoot him and they go because I was scared. Yeah. You're a pussy. You're a fucking big pussy, man. Well, that's the thing, because I mean, a combination of violence, of fetishizing violence

and also victimhood is that's basically that's like, that's the social basis of fascism. And also, also being being inordinately afraid of black men in particular, because you think they have super strength. Yeah. They're like, just all of your deep racial anxieties. They're like one punch man, you know, like that's all it'll take to kill you is just getting punched. They just take all of these just deep racial anxieties and you just your answer is, well,

I have a gun and that's going to keep me from having to deal with them. But that's why the real fascist retinas country are people in uniform. It's not dorks in folk and polo shirts. I remember he torches. I remember there was same, you know, animal family as cops, but not quite a cop, a prison guard at this, uh, jiu-jitsu gym I trained at in Chicago. So he like showed up because he wanted to like learn how to fuck people up. But like a big part of like any training is that you suck at something, you try first

and you get dominated by other people. And he just immediately quit after two classes because he didn't win a fight. Yeah. He didn't take weight like losing against people who had done it more than him. You know, it would have helped him though. In those fights, a gun, this is an unrealist training environment. I usually have three guns on me and one to throw on him so I don't get in trouble afterwards. I mean, it's hard to imagine, uh, you know, the state of, uh, you know, law enforcement

and the cops in this country getting better. But I do want to say, I think like a ray of light is, uh, Krasner in Philadelphia. I know we've talked about that before. And I think really like I was talking about this the other night and I think like, you know, like, like, you know, Bernie, he's sort of gone. He's old. Maybe he's going to run again in 2020, but like, what's the next guy? Like what's the next thing?

For me, Krasner is now like the bar that any politician should be willing to reach to be worthy of your support. That's the thing you have to think of it as. You don't think of it as, oh, you know, you're just investing your hope in another figure. The idea is that you create a standard for like bare minimum requirement on issues. And then you force people to adhere to it. Like, that's what that means. That's what like, that's why organizing in the, in the age of Trump, when you have no

real power, it comes down to insisting on standards. And then you have something like Krasner where someone is able to take local control and very quickly dramatically change things. Like I remember I was very interested in the Krasner race, but I was like, I was very, I was like, I don't know if I want to like be the idiot who says, Hey, Krasner is great. And then like he gets in there and two weeks later, some NY and some fucking Philly cop, you know, takes his own private blunder bus and kills a fucking teenager with it. And Krasner's out there saying, well, all the facts aren't in.

We need to. So, but like he was like, I went to town as soon as he got in there, fired an entire raft of fucking prosecutors, a cop kissing fucking prosecutors when he fired the prosecutors. That was, I never thought I would see that in a big machine city politics. Yeah. A 9% drop in the, in the jail population in six months. Free Meek Millie.

Free Meek Millie. Free Meek Millie. And then like, not only that, but like the DA's thing and then like local power is very interesting because unlike politicians, DA's actually have a shitload of power immediately to like instantly affect change. Yes. Because that's the thing. People fixate on legislators, but the beauty part about being a legislator is you have

no actual responsibility for anything. You have a couple of votes. People can get mad at you about, but for the most part, you're never held to account because as you're not, you're not, your job doesn't involve actually like administering a system of organization or, or in the case of a fucking DA oppression. And what this is showing is that, yeah, you have to where you can see the degree to which you can change the culture around these institutions so that you, like, it's going to be really interesting to see like, is the Philly police department still going to be the place where

the fucking guys got the, you know, Fracture Fatherland tattoo on his arm and that's not a big deal. You know, is that, is that going to be, is that culture going to coexist with Krasner as the DA? And I think that's something that's going to be seen, but like the degree to which we have a hope of changing this culture. I mean, it's hard to imagine them coexisting. Right.

Exactly. At least they'll be antagonistic to each other. Right. And it's like, but that's going to be resolved in some way. And that's the, that's where the bend is going to come. And that's where we kind of have, that's like, because it does seem very hopeless when you look at the totality of policing in America is these kind of shoots and these sort of just friction points are where we can examine like where there is, if there is a, a, a path

forward in a positive way. I just, just remembered the joke from the first ever paid chapeau live show of street fight when Brian said that every cop in Philadelphia looks like a cop who gets killed in a Batman game. I remember my brain out of my ass because one of the funniest things I've heard because I had had a distinct thought. We were sitting in front of the city hall, like beautiful city hall drinks. Yeah. By the, by the fucking Rizzo statue, terrible person, and we're sitting there drinking our

drinks and these just giant cops are saying they're like their arms are out to the side because they've got they're too fat and they've got the bulletproof vest on for their arms to go all the way to the side and they're just kind of like like bobbing around like doing the waste turn rather than your head. It's like they have an inner tube and they're like in a in a pond or something and I just had this image of yeah of like some professional hitters from like a heist movie rolling up on motorbikes and just murdering them all. Hans group.

I like how like cops have so much shit on their belt. It looks like the the background in Mystery Science Theater or something. I was imagining you could just run up and pull a cord and I'll just start inflating and roll them away and yet they still have less. They still carry less shit on them every day than Sebastian Gorka. Yeah. Sebastian Gorka's go bag has like a tent, a garot wire, a ship and a bottle for some reason.

It's got it's got one of those World War One era like machine guns with treads you can drive around on. But yeah like talking about like you know what is like the baseline for what we can expect of politicians abolishing ICE. Yes. Ending the war on drugs legalizing marijuana at the very least. And mass exoneration of everyone who's currently in prison and it has been in prison. Yeah.

Yeah. Because legalizing marijuana is sort of like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound considering that there are still tons of people in jail for local drug crimes. And whose lives have been significantly damaged if not ruined by their encounters with the law over something that we're all coming to the conclusion is not really a crime. And legalize marijuana but also decriminalize. Every other drug. Yeah.

Every other drug. Absolutely. And like again things like to Krasner or whatever like and the idea of we are no longer going to prosecute people for possession or use of marijuana. And then the huge pushback that he gets is from cops who say and Joe Kennedy III by the way made this exact same argument about legalizing marijuana. He said and that this is a line off repeated by the police is that this will make our jobs more difficult.

Which is odd because if you think there's a huge swath of things that you won't have to be policing or bothering your time with you think your job would be easier. But no what their job actually is is to enforce social control on poor and minority populations. And that will be a lot harder if it's legal to smoke weed. Yes. But you'll still find a fucking way because some some fucking some some suburban dickhead is going to call somebody because he's getting his car jumped in a parking lot and they're going to send Ed 209 shred him with high capacity rounds.

Yeah. I mean yeah. All right guys we've done a lot of joking here. We may have gone a little bit heated but in all seriousness we love our cops. We love our military. They're important. And that's the end. All cops are beautiful.

If I promote something before we get out of here right ahead. All right. Yo. My name is Jake Flores. I'm from this. I don't know why I said that. I'm here to say did you get it mixed up with like your first day of kindergarten. So I just don't usually have this big of a platform and I'm a DIY motherfucker.

I'm not represented. I make all my own shit. So I need to shout out real quick just all my things to try to make some money. I'm going on tour with Mishka Shubali who's a musician. I adore. I was a fan of his and then we met and he was his career was on the way down. Mine was on the way up. We started doing gigs together.

Now we're both back on the way down. So we're doing house shows and shit all across the country. I'm going to be in Denver for a week. So I have a podcast called Pod Damn America with a bunch of DSA dorks who are comedians. We do lefty shit and talk about the news and all sorts of stuff. Mr. Cleo is my dumb psychic hotline podcast. And also if you were interested in all and all that stuff I was talking about with Cesta Fosta, there is an event coming up called International Horse Day, which is historically

goes all the way back to sex workers in like France. It's actually an issue that the left and the right are both not very good on, but it's labor and it's really important. So please come out and support and learn something. That's it. That's my piece. I'm done. Links will all be in the show description.

And also I want to thank you as well for doing the show Pod Damn America, which is a podcast title that makes sense because it's based on an actual phrase, unlike Pod Save America, which is just gibberish, non set, absolute dribble. Yeah. Because Great American Reverend Wright said God Damn America, whereas literally no one in history has said God save America because that's not a fucking phrase because the phrase is God save the king. Yeah.

And then when you add wordplay on to it, more common phrase like pause America. Well, guys, I think that wraps it up for this week. Thanks again to Jake Forrest. Thanks for having me. Stay free, brother. Yeah. Goodbye. Bye.

I got my black shirt on, I got my black gloves on, I got my steaming ass on, this shit has been too long. I got my twerking sword on, I got my headlight turnt on, I'm not the bustin' shots on, I'm not the dustin' cops on, I'm a cop killer, better you than me, cop killer, fuck me brutality, cop killer, I know your family's grieving, fuck them, cop killer, fuck them.