Chapo Trap House - Episode 230 - A Colossal Wreck (7/22/18)

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

​Look on my Fest, ye Mighty, and despair....Will and Matt report on Fear and Loathing at Ozyfest. To get your free e-book copy of "Chapo Trap House Presents TALES FROM THE DARK LOOKING GLASS" email a copy of your receipt for "The Chapo Guide to Revolution" to [e-mail] Also check out @jamie_elizabeth on The Majority Report https://majorityreportradio.com/ and @the_antifada podcast

I met a traveler from an antique land who said, Too vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, Whose frown and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command Tell that its sculptor, Well those passions red, Which yet survive, Stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them, And the heart that fed, And on the pedestal, These words appear, My name is Ozymandias, King of kings, Look on my works, ye mighty and despair,

Nothing beside remains, Round the decay of that colossal wreck, Boundless and bare, The lone and level sands stretch far away. That's what drives us at Ozzy, The idea that more is possible, And we're not afraid to challenge assumptions about the way the world is, In order to see the way the world it could be. That conviction is right in our name. Yup, it's from the Percy Bisch Shelley poem Ozymandias. And yup, most folks read that poem as a caution against big egos and the impermanence of power.

We read it differently. To us, the poem says, Think big, but be humble. Lest you end up Too vast and trunkless legs in the desert, We know that's an unconventional interpretation. And that's who we are, Because in a world littered with conformity, We like to see things differently. We hope through Ozzy, you will too. That is from the actual about section of Ozzy.com.

I've got this up and I thought I was just joking. No, for real. Third Ozzymandias quote, Do you think I'm some cartoon villain? No, my plan already started 30 minutes ago. It is on stage of Hillary Clinton now. So that's it. Website is not just a pretty average looking new media digital site with news and opinions. It actually has destroyed the laws of thermodynamics.

Eat shit, entropy. You can live forever. Yeah. On Ozzy.com. I will never die. There is no impermanence. Oh, really? Ozzymandias collapsed in the desert surrounded by nothingness?

You just didn't want it enough, buddy. We do. That's psychotic. It is. It is folks saying. That is Hillary mindset right there. That is. Yes.

That's the singularity. What and what rough and what rough beast that's our come round at last slouches toward Bethlehem to be born. It's innovation and it's coming soon to you. We know that that's an unconventional interpretation that it's completely wrong. We went to a bullshit 50 billion dollar liberal art school that told me nothing I said was wrong. Our our website, our new media digital platform is all about connecting Falcons with Falconers.

We here at Ozzy want to give you news brought to you for and by millennials live video and a little bit of fun. Also we're building a new tower of Babel. You know what? We will replace God. People said, oh, you know, this whole thing about life is that it ends and everything is impermanent. You have to savor for the moment and you can't really expect to, you know, exist in your

own state forever. You have to wrangle with impermanence. And then I poisoned my brain on Soylent and Adderall. And now I say fuck that. All of this is, you know, by way of introducing to Amber and Felix and you, the listener, our journey. Matt and I went on a journey yesterday, a sort of fantastic voyage, a spiritual and psychic voyage into the basically neoliberal Coachella that is Ozzy Fest in New York City's

Central Park, a two day festival put on by Ozzy Media, which is a, you know, new digital media company you probably haven't heard of, but hey, you have now submission accomplished. I heard an ad in the cab on it with it said, we at Ozzy report on news that hasn't been reported on like it's some hot new band or something. They don't know how the news works. They think they're going to get a deep cut underrated news. So we have three hairless bald women, the same ones from minority report telling us about future events.

By the way, the top five stories, I looked at this while we were at the thing to see what the actual website was, the top five stories on Ozzy.com are all about Trump and Putin and every other place that every other place has. Because if you're going to actually have like any kind of serious investigative reporting that covers something that should be covered, but isn't being covered, well, that takes expertise and way too much money. Yeah. It's a lie by night media companies they want and takes because it's cheap, cheap, cheap.

So yeah, it's interesting that they report on Trump Russia, but don't report on a kind bringing electricity to 600 million Africans. So Ozzy Fest. This was something it was it was basically it's people it's for people who want a sort of music festival style environment where there's like VIP sections and sort of food truck style. You get to stand in the sun and it's standing in the sun and being printed around. That is why both of you are wearing the bandanas.

Yes. Oh, I never took mine off. In fact, now it's fused with my skull, Matt, Matt, and it keeps whispering to me, disrupt, disrupt. As I said earlier, you both look like a hikers German shepherd. No, you guys, you guys are Barringer and Defoe from platoon. Which one is which though? Okay.

You're obviously Defoe. Matt is Barringer. Hell yeah. I'm going to die. And I'm I'm Charlie Sheen, but in real life. Okay. So God bless my VPN. Let me let me set this up for you.

So you may have heard about Ozzy Fest. This is what we do for you, dear listener, Matt and I joined up with Jamie Peck of the Majority Report to cover Ozzy Fest in the way I think it deserves to be covered or needed to be. So what it would it would be bearable is that we all took LSD before we went to what is essentially as I was trying to say a music festival for people who want that Coachella environment, but they want to see the news live instead of bands. Yes.

It's like they just want to like see MSNBC, the live experience every, every, every one of the panels was like a different show that fills the daytime hours of MSNBC, a panel show, one-on-one interview, it was the fucking news and people were standing there getting sunstroke and like four beers in watching the news. Who's like the fish of the news? Like who could do like a like 45 minute long jam session about how Trump Russia affects suburban voters? I got to say that sounds like that sounds like my boy morning Joe morning Joe.

Yeah. Morning Joe. He's he just knew you give him that energy of the crowd. Yeah. He'll be doing it all. He'll be doing just repulsive banter with Mika where you imagine him just fucking absolutely tearing it up in a Lisa mattress or some other neoliberal mattress. And then he's going over to you know, riff on, I don't know, like Matt Gatz or something,

some other rep that no one likes and then talk about his experience in Congress and then suddenly cut out, you know, before the part where he left. I described this as like a neoliberal Coachella and I would describe like the both the ideology and presentation of this event was identical to the Microsoft commercial with common. And I mean identical because common was one of the keynote speakers. We are now in the future we always dreamed of. Multiple realities are at your fingertips. This was really the this was the the undergirding sort of mentality of everything we saw there

was. It was like a cult start. The common Microsoft commercial. Oh, no. The Ozzy Fest answered the question for me the sort of Zen Cohen about what is the sound of one hand clapping but replaced it with what is the sound of people talking about issues and you know, events of the day without ever actually saying anything. It was stunningly, stunningly devoid.

Every panel, every sentence uttered was just this echoing nothingness. It's like one of those big Buddhist bells that they ring that echoes throughout the fucking ashram or whatever and reminds you of, you know, the empty void within that can never be understood. That was every word coming out of these people's mouths. It was I'm sorry. I've just been distracted since you said Zen Cohen because it sounds like someone who went to St. Anne's with Lena Dunham.

Yeah, yeah. My dad is managing director of paper per commercial paper and slavery at Goldman Sachs, but I'm not going into that. My name is Zen Cohen. So I don't know. Let's begin like the crowd was overwhelmingly young to middle-aged women like these are people who all showed up to see the key, you know, the big headliner. Oh, those are just Tom Perez groupies.

Hillary Clinton. They came to see Hillary Clinton and there's a lot of like nasty women t-shirts. I saw a friend of the pod friend of the pod t-shirts. My favorite t-shirt that I saw was a woman with a t-shirt that said dance like Russia isn't watching. Yes, because it's Russia that could at any time hijack any of the fucking cameras. I don't know about you guys. I don't know about you guys, but I just stand from my webcam dabbing despite Putin.

As I was walking into Central Park, I was like, I had my headphones in and like I popped them out because I was like, OK, game face, got to find Matt, got to get into Ozzy Fest. And I swear to God, like Thomas Friedman cab driver moment as soon as I popped my headphones out, the first thing I heard was two women walking behind me. And one of them said the first thing I heard. This is basically the coolest thing I've ever done. And I've had friends who have been to Bonnaroo and South by Southwest and like now I've been to a festival too.

What were the what were the other things that woman did in her life that's like just running up to catch the sweat coming off of Karl Rove's Christmas ham head. Oh my God, that's Mark Sanford in real life. Holy shit. We'll get to Mark Sanford, but so it's held in the Donald Rumsfeld playground of Central Park. This is the place that they have a summer stage, the Rumsie play field. So we go in through security, blast off.

We launch our pineal glands into the the universe to see where it'll take us. We walk in and the opening panel on the main stage is a panel about sports entrepreneurship. No, no, just entrepreneurship, entrepreneurship, but it all featured former athletes and it was being moderated by Carlos Watson, who is the founder of Aussie. And he was talking to a rod, Alex Rodriguez and a bunch of like other Michael Vick starting a small business. So it was sort of about sports, sports tripreneurs. And we heard a little bit of Alex Rodriguez talking about, you know, building businesses.

Yeah. He did say one line where he was like, I took the principles and concept of teamwork that I learned in athletics and applied it to business. Yeah. That's basically what he said back home. People had paid to see it and they were sitting on the ground and by the way, I think you involuntarily tentage your fingers, Andre Steakhouse style for that. But by the way, tickets for this event were like $100 a day.

Insane. For the for the lowly ticket where you've got the privilege of standing on the fake grass or sitting neck in front of the the stadium or in front of the stage, you could pay up to $300 to get access to the VIP bleachers and the hospitality bar that was next to the stage just to have it's like everything that's that's soul destroying about going to a festival. That's what they like about festivals. I don't want the, you know, the music and the sense of camaraderie and and passion and

rhythm. I just want all of the tedious and innervating and late capitalist soul destroying shit. I want to go through TSA level security and be herded like a fucking animal into this place. I want to wait eight way over pay for food and drinks. I want to stand in the sun. I want to observe my betters flaunt their superiority to me right in my presence. But no, that's what they like about fucking mass gatherings perverse.

And again, like I said, this was all to basically see the equivalent of any single segment on like cable news. Oh, yeah, something from squat. We're talking to a rod here about transitioning to business after a life in the MLB. So walking around and then there's like there was like the main stage and then there was like they had sort of like a B stage by the the ban shell and Central Park. We decided to check that out. And you sort of walk out of the main concert area and of course have to go back through

security. Yeah. You want to come back in. That's how well even though we had our wrist lanyards and stamped hands, yeah, so marking us as our members poorly divined it was the two stadiums aren't connected security wise because the other one is in the ban shell just overlooking Central Park. So they just tell you, yeah, you got to come all the way back and go through security again. And you already get a lanyard and it's a fucking lanyard for your wrist.

It's like people. These people love lanyard so much they had to give them a wrist lanyard instead of a bracelet. And then you also get a hand stamp and you need both of those to get back. It's like some sort of parody of like a border, you know, randomness. And then that's how poorly designed the fucking thing was. But I think once again, that's a feature they like about it. So they want to go through. It's like going on a roller coaster.

You're like, can I go through security again? It was fun. And when walks be with each other, they have their shooters run up on each other and snatch each other's lanyards. I got your lanyard sucker. So Matt, Jamie and I, like I said, we walked in, we saw a rod talking, but we decided to go to like the B stage because we really wanted to see a panel discussion featuring Stephen Pinker.

Oh, God, man. The Harvard neuroscientist and the guy whose main message is despite what you have despite what you may think by watching the news or observing the aspects of your own life, things overwhelmingly for the human race are getting better because the 21st century is better than the 19th. It's it's innovative. You get you have a small phone now in your hand. And he was on stage at a panel with I look this up, a woman named Cindy me who I'm writing

here is the founder and CEO of VIP kid VIP kid, an education technology company that connects K through eight students in China with teachers in North America for online English emergent. So she's this sort of like educational entrepreneur. And when she was talking, she this is right when I started feeling, you know, the viper work its way up my spine into my brain soaking at all. But she started using phrases like educational technology and curriculum products. She's talking about the brave future where where teachers can do what they've always wanted to do most which is educate and connect with thousands of students at a time, which

I really don't think is what teachers of all really want to do their base their basic premises. We're going to destroy education as a as a job, we're going to destroy that entire class of people by outsourcing education to a small cadre of cheap instructors who can instruct thousands of students at once using the internet. That's the entire point of this break teachers unions, fire the most the vast majority of public sector educational employees and replace them with private freelancers getting no benefits who can teach 10,000 students a day. Well, you don't yet have the learning pod technologies.

There has to be some kind of interim. What if teachers, they weren't assigned a classroom, but they all host their individual Twitch channels and the most charismatic ones like the best ones get the most students, viewers. But but but the viewer like how do they make their money? Okay, how do you read someone in chat on Twitch? They give you bits or a donation. So the students who have the most entrepreneur like entrepreneurial instinct and have money

from like, you know, selling lemonade, angel investors, tooth fairy, they give bits to the teacher to ask their questions. So the kids with the most get up and go. Yeah. The most motivated ones. You know, I am more and more Soviet every day. You would be after being ever honestly, I am after seeing the horror show yesterday. If the fucking MKV had driven up and covered the whole thing in barbed wire with me inside,

I would have thought this is for the better for mankind. So and then it was Pinker, Cindy, me and a guy named Mike Moe, who's a who's a manages some capital. He's trying when he got his hand. He manages some like Silicon Valley Capital Fund that invests in crap. And he is the author of a book called The Global Silicon Valley Handbook. Doesn't that make you a sin crawl? It's interesting because like this one was on like the non main stage and this was again,

dreadfully boring, mind numbing, horseshit. However, this this panel that we saw did have the most actual like real kind of like tangible ideology that you absorb and sink your teeth into. Because it, you know, I think Pinker really sums it up where he's just saying like, look, if you read the news every day, you'll be depressed. But like, you know, that that's missing the forest from the trees because overall technology is making things better. And like, we shouldn't really be, you know, we shouldn't really be concerned about things

like inequality because like, I think he said that if you look through history, the things that have really made civilizations more equal with one another are plagues, wars and violent revolutions. And since we don't want those, we have to put up with inequality. That was his basic message. And he was basically saying like, you know, we don't need to worry so much about inequality because like, it's not so much how big the gap is, it's how good the life you have at the very bottom.

Right. And because everything's improving for people on the bottom, it's okay that they're on the bottom because their lives are easier. It's like the you have a flat screen TV, but you're poor thing. Yeah, exactly. And you know, and of course, hovering over both Pinker's comments and he acknowledges this himself, as well as the entire Saturday event, was this idea that like, hey, it's cool.

We're the we're the change generation. Everything is like progressive and technology and it's at our fingertips, but Trump and Putin bad and scary. And we're all very disturbed and upset about that. And we're looking for ways to like, you know, what do we do? What do we do? And it's like, Trump and Putin are like the dangerous outlier that is disturbed or otherwise perfect, you know, sort of progressive, neoliberal, paradise, like everything is in the garden.

Yeah, that everything is getting better and like, you know, more tolerant and like our quality of life is getting better. And we're all opening ourselves up and are all hyperambitious and sort of connected individuals in a global global solutions for a global world. Absolutely. If you're really into the Trump Russia stuff, like, how do you look at that? Like that's the only thing you look at all day. How do you look at that and go like, oh, I guess we should have had like way stricter

enforcement of white collar crime or, oh, hey, I guess maybe capital is extremely strong or hey, hey, you know that giant spying apparatus we got the giant digital spying apparatus. Looks like it didn't do anything at all. No, no, you're forgetting them. No, it's okay. You can't change any of this. That's the message that Mike Moe made that really made my skin crawl. The interviewer actually says, uh, because they first they ask him, what are the trends

that you think are exciting and great and are going to shape the future? And one of them, what he said was the sharing economy, one of the most Orwellian horrible buzzwords in history and how great it is and it's changing the game for all these industries, which of course means undercutting traditional rivals and, you know, under regulating the sector. Uh, and she said, but the problem, and then she says the interviewer, well, yeah, but a lot of those jobs, they're contractors, they have low pay, they don't have benefits. How is that?

Is that really a sustainable model for employment now? And his answer was, well, you know, that's the way things are now. Uh, that's, that's, it's, it's people. This is almost a literal quote. You graduate from college, uh, graduate, they're expected to go through 15 or so careers in their lifetime before they retire. If they retire is how you finish the sentence and he says, you can fight it, but it's like fighting gravity.

Folks, I mean, in his technocracy, can we not fight gravity? Yeah. Let's get, get someone musky and intellect on this, but no, it was just like it was the end of no country for old men, everything. It's like every time they talked, it seemed like they were going to turn to you and their eyes are going to go black and they're just going to go. You cannot resist what is coming. If there was a Goku of neoliberalism, he would conjure a spirit bomb from the energy of this

event. Yeah. But the, just in that first panel, we got the message ground and clear, uh, the totalizing effects of the market are unstoppable, they're a natural force. They're like a fucking comet that's going to hit earth. You will be subsumed by it. You will be stripped bare of, buy it and atomized by it. And your only hope is to crawl into a ball and maybe hope that you took enough massive

online classes and educational Twitch streams to meek out an existence in this new world, uh, and that there's nothing else to be done. That was the message. By the way, as we were watching this, this was right around the time. I don't know about you, Matt, like, uh, the weirdness started to kick in. Oh yeah. The fear. I was, I was beginning to get the fear, uh, for sure.

And so we decided to walk back into the event and I want to make note of, uh, one, one of the features of like, there was a, they had this big, uh, sort of knit map of the world, like a big yarn nap of the world. And you were supposed to take a piece of yarn and connect it from where you are now and connect it to a place on the yarn map where you're going to be. They had, they had a, uh, a New York City based calligraphic, calligraph artist named Rammer doing calligraphy on a big blackboard. Yeah.

But my favorite thing they had, they had this big sort of, um, it's sort of like a big wooden board with, uh, spinnable blocks cut out of it that were like, they would like, you'd spin one face of the block and it would be like, did you know? And X, X, Y, Z, and then you'd spin the block and it would tell you facts about a news or historical item. So it's basically like a giant adult playground for news where you're a news infant and you just like touch, it's like, like, you know, you do like, uh, like speak and say or like block play, but to learn about news factoids.

And Felix, you will be, uh, you know, maybe you, maybe you'll enjoy to hear they did one of the news blocks was about the fortnight revolution that's going on. Now it's a blow for gender equality because it's one of the first games where women, people are opting for female avatars at a similar rate to men. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, that just makes sense. I mean, the girl character models are better done also, like they may have smaller hit boxes.

I'm not quite sure, but I do notice that all the pros use female Felix. It's called a Volvo guys hitting me in my hit box. He's bottoming out. So moving on, uh, the next panel we saw was, uh, dedicated to conservatism post-Trump. Not just conservatism, the future of conservatism. Right. Another very forward looking progressive thing, conservatism. Uh, and the, it was Anna Kasparian of the young Turks and she's like, I'm the progressive

and I'm going to be. She's going to grill these suckers. And it was, uh, former governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, Appalachian trail hiker and Grover Norquist, who by the way, he has, he's like a little manlet and he has such a weird squeaky voice. It's really funny. Yeah. But, uh, so Sanford and Grover, they get on there and they immediately Grover starts

trying to like stroke off his audience, who he knows are all like, you know, lib people. And he's like, you know, I, this is, we've seen great movement on, you know, legalizing marijuana on a state level. Well, who doesn't love chiefing that loud? Yeah. Let me hear it for you. Dang. And, uh, do you remember what it's, it's, it's fucking night out.

Do you remember what Sanford talked about? Sanford post mostly does what he always does. Well, first he buttered up the crowd by saying, I'm a Republican, I'm conservative, but we need to be able to disagree in this country and still agree to fairness. And I think Donald Trump, I agree with most of what he stands for, but I don't like authoritarian style. He said the, he emphasized his problem with Trump was his style two or three times and the hog swine in the audience, sitting there listening to this of their own free will.

They're like, yes, his style is bad and authoritarian. Yeah. No, Sanford said, well, to be fair, these people are estates. Yeah. Not while they're watching television in real life, of course, that's what they care about. He's like a wrestling heel. Oh, Trump. Again, I didn't absorb much of that.

It just seemed to be, they were basically arguing about, as it always does with those two tax cuts and the deficit. And Sanford, it was funny, you had these guys like happy days are here again at the whole rest of the thing. And then Sanford and Norquist are up there talking about the coming great depression level economic collapse that we're going to see. And for Sanford, he blames it on the deficit. And he thinks that because we have rising debts that eventually this is going to collapse

because of populist promises that can't be fulfilled on the left and right. And so this debt bomb is going to crush us all and we have to be ready for that. And then Norquist talking about how great state level legislation is. If you don't like what the federal government is doing and also that tax cuts are good. That was it. See, this is why you can never trust any Armenian except Dan to interview Grover Norquist. I would love to see Dan Dipe Grover. Yeah.

It's like, Hey, dude, I'm the guy who said I'd type you're here to do it in his jinkos. Just chain smoking. Like a question I want to ask you now, um, have you ever frozen one of your own turns and then tried to put it back up your ass? But the audience was not into it. It's not like people were bopping along and they were mostly ignoring it and eating and stuff. But I do think that they feel like the people kind of trying to people are going to this

thing and recreating their media experience in real life. They want to congratulate themselves for their open mindedness, not compare the Republicans. So even though they don't really like listening to Grover and fucking Safford talk about debt to GDP ratio, they're congratulating themselves. It's the congratulating themselves for their open mindedness in hearing them out. Now, here would be the going into the next presentation, which is my favorite, but before I talk about that, I should note that the experience of this on psychedelic drugs, basically when I was watching one of the panels or like hearing any of these people speak, it had

like a neutralizing effect on any of the fun aspects of being high. And it would just sort of like stop being high. And then I would snap out of it for a moment and start talking to Jamie and Matt and giggling. And then I'd be like, oh, yeah, I understand what's going on here. But like, I wasn't really like full on tripping, like, you know, seeing stuff. I just don't know why you would waste drugs on that. Seeing the Donnie Darko time tunnel come out of Grover Grover's head and go elsewhere. You see it come out of Steve Pinker's chest to go all the way to Jeffrey Epstein's part.

We see you, Steve, you fucker. It wasn't like that, but it did highlight the weirdness of it. However, watching it, it like it only enhanced how boring this shit was. I was bored on like a new plane of boredom is what this is having fourth dimension boredom. Exactly. They paid to stand and watch this. People were standing at the rim of the stage looking up like it was a Beatlecus concert the whole time.

So the next one, like I said, my favorite, oh, this is why this was my head of the DNC sex. An American sex symbol, Pamp Tom Perez, strong Pamp Tom Perez. Every straight man has, you know, one panties popping and dropping being interviewed by CNN's Dana Bash. And this was, I was actually kind of impressed by how singularly uninspiring and robotic Tom Perez was just like a wind up doll. I just like a very limited Ram CPU with smoke coming out of it.

It was a sight to see the first question was, well, there was that event in Helsinki. And of course, all the libs are laughing about that. Oh, that fucking traitor and, and Perez goes, oh, yes, that was something, wasn't it? And they say, cute thing that Trump said to sort of distract from it was, why did the DNC hand over their servers during the Russia gate hacking investigation? They only like gave them pictures or something. And Perez answers by talking about Russia for 10 minutes and saying, that's distracting Donald for you.

And he basically says, instead of saying, why didn't you give them the servers they said? He said, well, we did everything that we were required to do. And we gave them all the information they asked for. And that, and then he moved on. It's set up. It sounds like a Flanders is distracting Donald. He didn't even get a pop from it. That's how sad he is.

This is the most primed audience on earth to hear this shit. Yeah. And not even they were biting it. A distracting. Like any of us hired a Tyler Perry movie right now, they are ready to engage in any attempted humor whatsoever. And, but it began the pattern of Dana Bash asking him a question in the way like a cable news person would to try to get something out of him or pin him on an issue.

And then him sort of like the talking point algorithm begins working in his brain. And he's sort of like, just sort of filibusters and goes off onto his own stick. He said, it's a great illusion of distracting Donald. This was one of the lowest moments in the history of the American presidency. Trump blinked this week, he's Putin's poodle, and that's the reality. You didn't get a pop from Putin's poodle either. See, they don't even know, but Trump can't blink. Yeah, no, they didn't even pop for Putin's poodle.

He's got a secondary set of eyelids like an amphibian that's clear. So he just said. But he can't technically blink. You know, many have said I was the greatest staring contest competitor in New York. I could have gone pro. I just have this eyelid mutation that actually makes me better than you. You know, folks, I believe what Magneto said, we're better than them. Mute and power, OK?

Other questions Dana Bass tried to pin him down on was, I believe, one of the questions was, you know, how do you feel about individual Democratic senators like Joe Manchin or Heidi Heitkamp voting yes to confirm Brett Kavanaugh? And he was like, oh, look, it's bigger than Brett Kavanaugh. Brett Kavanaugh, he's shown hostility to people having access to health care. Let me tell you. I've been in Nevada, New York, Oregon, Oklahoma, yeah, he was just full of us by naming states that he's been.

He's like, we've turned 42 deep red districts blue in the last, you know, since 2006. And then Dana Bass was like, yeah, I know you understand you weren't head of the DNC then, but under Obama, you've lost a thousand of those seats. So 42 compared to that doesn't sound that impressive. And he's like, look, look, we fell down in 2016. We weren't a 50 state party. We're a 50 state party now. We're in every state, Alabama, Oklahoma.

He sounded like a harried I.T. guy. Yes, for the DNC, like the DNC helpline. He's like, look, we're working hard to serve you. We're listening. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line. Please stay on the line until November. Please just stay on the line until November.

We can help you then if you just stay on the line. I understand, ma'am. I understand. I'd be mad too. If I was you. He's like Gil at this point. Oh God, he is Gil as fuck. It just like, imagine you like, you literally think Donald Trump was like hypnotized by

Vladimir Putin. And there's like this, you know, he's a true man sharing candidate. I were under seat. We're at war. And then you go to this festival, this festival of ideas and you see a man who sounds like he has 70 dust bunnies who's just like talking about how he went to a county fair and people there were serious about affordability or whatever. How do you not just fucking kill yourself?

How are you not like, how are you not like, you know, an imperial soldier during the fall of Tokyo? They're going to give me the good leads now. Another great Tom Perez line, Dana Bast asked him about, you know, trying to pin him on this like, you know, all the big energy in the Democratic Party is on the progressive left of the party. But you know, members of X, Y and Z are saying they're, you know, you know, are you going too far?

Yeah. You know, things like single payer healthcare or abolishing ice, he said, are very popular among Democratic voters, but will that work for you in a general election? And again, Tom Perez, like the algorithm kicked in, he's like, you know, we want to leave with our values. We want to leave with our values, our values are for immigration and, you know, abolish ice, look, I want to abolish Donald Trump. Yeah.

That's, that's what we're all working to do, 50 state strategy, all 50 states, California, Maine, South Dakota, South Dakota, like, yeah, you just, oh my God. Okay. But doesn't Dana Bash have serious real housewives face? Oh man. It's a, it's a facial structure. No, she could be throwing a glass of Chardonnay at Roxanne or whatever. Yeah, totally.

Here's the thing, Felix, to your point about like how, if you, if you think, you know, Trump is like a secret agent to Moscow and are like, he's, Russia has infiltrated the White House and is controlling everything. And the guy literally in charge of the midterm elections that are supposed to like be a stop and check on this is this sputtering, like, yeah, call center guy, just going through these like rote algorithm, talking point algorithms in his head. It's funny you bring that up because I had the exact same feeling watching Tom Perez on stage as I did when we were all in that house in Philadelphia in 2016, watching the

Democratic National Convention in 2016, sitting there again, high as shit and just thinking, oh, oh God, they're going to lose. Yeah. They're going to lose. And that's exactly the feeling I had watching this. Not just like they're going to, the underperform in the midterms, like Donald Trump is going to be reelected. Oh, for sure.

Unless there's like, we were saying unless there's like another major economic crash before then, if they, if this is what they're going, like, if they keep going with this and I have every reason to believe, I feel like they'll squeak by, but, you know, strictly by the skin of their teeth and yeah, I mean, they'll learn all of the, they'll learn all of the wrong things. Yeah. And if they barely get back in, then they will just be eaten by something even worse that will be like a final annihilation and the whole thing will have been for naught.

And to this point, I mean, the same literally the same day as we were at Anzifest, I just want to talk a little bit. This is from NBC News. There's another convention. It was the third way centrist Democrat convention and they just held their big shindig to basically solve the problem of what to do about Bernie Sanders and all the people on the sort of, like I said, the excited democratic progressive part of the party who want things like universal health care and getting rid of ice and they're like, we have to stop this now.

Right now. Yeah. We've got to save our funny baloney jobs. Sanders wing of the party terrifies moderate Dems. Here's how they plan to stop it. This is by Alex Siteswald for NBC News. I just want to read here. Representative Sherry Bustos, Democrat of Illinois, a member of the House Democratic

leadership who represents the district, Trump won, invoked Richard Nixon's silent majority. If you look throughout the heartland, there's a silent majority who just wants normalcy, who wants to see that people are going out to Washington to fight for them in a civil way. Which is why Donald Trump won. And get something done, she told reporters. There's a lot of people that just don't really like protests and don't like yelling and screaming. And they worry that the angry left will cost Democrats a rare chance to win over those

kind of voters, including Republicans, who no longer want part of Trump's GOP. No, yeah. Remember the last time they won over those types of Republicans? How long it lasted? It was a thousand year blue rain after 2000s. All of those gains that have not been immediately rolled back with ease. Republicans have chosen the far right, which means they have seeded a good portion of the middle of the road, said former New Orleans mayor Mitch Landrieu.

They have the entire Republicans, which is about 40% of the electric guarantee locked down forever. So yeah, this is what, you know, they're basically trying to find a candidate that they can run in 2020, that they can rally around to be like the guy who's just basically saying like, I'm here to be civil. Well, listen to this, Representative Jim Himes of Connecticut, a chair of the New Democrat Coalition, said his side is, quote, not naturally arbiters of emotion and anger. How we tell our story and put foreign, our policies in a way that makes people want to

mount the barricades is one of the biggest challenges we have, said Himes, a former Goldman Sachs banker who represents Fairfield, Connecticut. He said from sitting on top of giant mountain of gold coins. But you know, I have every reason to believe the Democrats are going to go in this direction. And like Tom Perez said about AOC, he was just like, he only called her Alexandria. He only referenced her once and he said, listen, I called Alexandria, I congratulated her on a great campaign. Oh man.

That would be great if you're, because you're Cortez and you like win this, one of the most shocking upsets I've ever seen. You work your ass off for it and it's like, all right, you got your big reward. Pick up the phone. You know, I've been going to Alabama, I've been to Tulsa, I've been to, I've been to the both Dakotas, I've been to West Virginia, I've even been to the Florida Panhandle and people are just excited about accountability. You've just got to be like, why did I do this?

Why did I get in the ball? I mean, honestly, we know she's, you know, barnstorming with Bernie right now for like progressive candidates and, you know, I wish them the best, but like a part of me really fears that they're just like literally like blowing air into like the CPR victim corpse of the Democratic Party. That's just going to be like, we love your energy, everybody. And then just do this shit. Yeah.

The only power in the country that Democrats have is over their own apparatus, like that's the thing they have an iron grip on. Yeah, and also like Alexandria won partially because there's like a 12% voter turnout. And like a lot of people weren't watching the shop and the Republicans will be watching the shop. Yeah. Yeah. I sort of feel like the best thing she could do as soon as she actually gets in the house

is immediately become an independent because like, I don't know, like just like I said, just doing CPR for people like Tom Perez to drag them across the finish line. Yeah. Like Milstone on your neck, the Democratic brand name and the thing you have to fight is just so heavy on the, on the shoulders of any would be reforming candidate. It's just every energy is directed towards crushing you and destroying you and making sure you don't link up with other people to take power. Yeah.

I'm not so much afraid now that the Democrats are like going to blow it in these midterms. Maybe they'll even like win back the White House. The fears are just going to keep doing the same shit. No, they will lose to Tom Cotton. Oh, yeah. That's the truth. They will bring about, I mean, to be hyperbolic, not really. They will bring about the end times when the, when the const, contradictions are no longer

sustainable when we've reached like accelerationist event horizon. That will be the thing that brings it about is the failure of that last ditch effort to actually move the ship in some direction from the fucking iceberg or melting fucking glacier rather. Right. Because their main thing seems to be, let's make everything feel normal again. Yes. It's a that's impossible.

And also, and also the line, they're basically the fucking choke culture. And this was all, this was a, this was a line that was very much echoed during Ozzie Fest. Like there's also this line that like, Hey, we have to be better than that. Like, you know, they're what they have, they're selling fear and we need to sell, sell hope and like this idea that like we can't be angry and emotional. And I really think like right now in this country or like anywhere, any politician that is not speaking to people's justified anger and telling them the people who are the malifactors

in their life and channeling that into some productive way that isn't speaking to people's anger is just doomed to lose. Yes. Because everyone is pissed off for both good and bad reasons. And if you're not acknowledging that, it's like you're just, you're not even playing the game. It's bad couples therapy. You're not acknowledging their anger.

Yeah. Just, just like, even if you have no hope of really changing things, just recognizing that how limbic fucking politics is for people, how it's just basal, like fucking sugar rush lizard brain satisfaction at the, at the, at the destruction of your opponent. It's all spectacle. You get all of your thrill from the libidinal energy of thinking of your enemy and destroying them, which is why all the energy is on the right. And they're trying to drain it.

They're trying to say, no, you can't have an enemy. You can't feel the joy of defeating the other, which means that you'll never get the same sort of enthusiasm as that drive. That's why Trump might actually move against the historical trend, which is that when a president wins, his opponent's base gets mobilized and then they win in the, that's why they win in midterms, his personal brand of resentment fueled spectacle with his constant tweeting and also all of those fucking rallies he goes to, that that's going to reverse the trend and actually keep those voters engaged enough to go to the polls out of the personal just

thrill of engaging in the spectacle with him, being like a participant in his performance of being the president and he could reverse that historical trend. And then their corner mobilized for his for the rest of time in a way that you'll never be able to match with your weak tea bullshit that wants you to not vote passionately, wants you to have no energy behind it other than smug superiority over the others who you're more civilized that. I don't know, Tom Perez has been to New Mexico, he's been to Wyoming, he's been to Northern Southern and Central California, so he's been, he's been to Spokane, Washington.

He's been to Delaware. So what do you say, what do you say to that? Checkmate. It's amazing. So moving on, as you may have seen on Twitter, Matt and I did get a chance to meet Mark Sanford and take some pictures with him. That dude fucks. Yeah.

That dude fucks. Is he still with the same woman? I don't know. She was with a woman who looked like a real housewife, Amber, who looked kind of Latin American, I saw, I don't know if it was her or not, she was as appropriate, I think it might have been her. It would be funny if Mark Sanford, like, he has a fetish where he can only fuck people from Argentina.

If your daddy didn't die at the fuck when he stepped off. We did not get to meet. If your madre wasn't at the plaza, get out of here. We did not get to meet him because I'm fairly certain he knows who I am and might have attacked me. We did see Mark Hemingway, Mr. Molly Hemingway himself. Oh, I saw a picture of him. He is jangling in his pocket.

He look at look at a boy. He's a big boy. He's like he likes to have a party with his keys. We saw it. Look it up. He's like six, five, looking like, you know, dad is shit. However, if you had shaved him, he would have looked like Judge Holden, basically. He was just this big round boy.

So unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to say hi to Mark Hemingway and tell him, you know, fuck you, your wife and whoever pays for the wretched website that employs both of you. Moving on. There was a panel with Rose McGowan to talk about Me Too and Hollywood stuff, to be honest. Matt and I were mostly in the air conditioned, Aussie Fest home theater tent. Yeah. They had a chill out tent.

Yeah. It was sponsored by Volvo. It was like wavy gravy. It was just like, listen, are you okay, man? Is that the tent you go into if you drink too much Soylent? Oh, I'm freaking out. I took the bad Soylent. Yeah.

And then this was like the bad vibes chill out safe space, but we did get to see a very pleasant documentary about two young kids making mad, crazy beats in Berlin and driving everywhere in their Volvo SUV. I'm sorry. I can't get over the fact that someone thought that an open air festival would be the proper venue to talk about rape. Yeah. They went with it, though.

God bless them. Yeah. You go in this tent and you were amazed because you thought the Volvo was a good car. It also produces mad beats, does cool documentaries. There was one guy, there was like an older sort of techno guy. He looks like he might have been in craft work and he comes in to like work with this guy on the beats. And he just turns to the camera and he goes, if you are living in the future, if you are

always dreamed of, is that a lifestyle brand? Were the German children, were they like white Germans? There was one guy, there was a Dutch rapper who honestly looked like a SoundCloud kid. He had braids and a grill, but he kind of looked white. I don't know. And he also played the acoustic guitar. I'm just, I just think it's like, if they went with like white Germans for like the face of New Hip Hop, that's amazing.

That's the way it's like they, they, you hear Kim dot com and you're like, yeah, this is the future of music. So that, yeah, being a nice sort of safe space Volvo home theater was nice. The next panel was common to talk about mass incarceration. Yeah. It was basically from what I didn't catch much of it, but from what I could hear Common talk about, he was like, basically talking about the importance of having conversations. Yeah.

He basically just spoke the words in the rap songs that he does, just like in sentences instead of to a beat. That was basically it. Yeah. He said, we're going to talk about incarceration by listening because you can't hear unless you listen. Hey, if you're looking for an auditory experience where you listen, but you also may hear yourself say some things, I cannot recommend a conversation or not.

You know, wait, but was there any political prescriptions or was his solution to mass incarceration? He's like, it's got to be, everyone's got to come together. And the one thing he touted is that he was lobbying in California for a law to prevent juveniles from being sentenced to life. That's good. Yeah. So I think his, his prescription was changed a lot and he, he name checked, uh, the Michelle

Alexander, Michelle Alexander, New Jim Crow book a lot. All right. So he changed his thinking or like informed his worldview or whatever. I know Fried is right about that book. It's bad. I'm just reporting what Cummins said. You want to text him? Yeah.

Text Cummins. Do you think that, do you think that like Mark Sanford, when he saw a comment, he's like, I did not know there would be gangster rap here. I would not have come had I known. That's the most racist you could be just seeing like Cummins. What is interesting though, because I don't think in any time prior to 2018, would liberals entertain something like ending mass incarceration? So there is some kind of tight change on that, at least in terms of, of terms of public opinion.

What they have to, I don't think they'll do anything about it. What they have to have as their radical pet issue has changed. It's gotten more radical, which does, yeah, the center of gravity is shifting. If you have to go more extreme in your pet fake issue that you pretend to care about, then that means that you will never do anything to change or do some tiny micro, you know, policy. There's a red shift as it were. All I know about Cummins, Cummins segment is that at no point was he asked about John

Wick three bullshit. I tuned out. You know, he's going to be in that thing. He didn't, they didn't show him dying in the second one. Or what about Suicide Squad two? That's true. Also in Suicide Squad. He is also in Suicide Squad.

Hopefully it's like a twin brother or it's a prequel, something to explain him dying because I like to see more of them. All right. So now this brings us to the headline. Oh yeah. This is the one that actually got a little crowded over the course of the day. You know, it was thin, it filled in. It was pretty full for comment.

A lot of people were parked on the, in the front, in the groundling section all day. They like got there at noon and posted up all day to be there to be front row for Hillary. Hillary Clinton. Oh yeah. Interviewed by Steve Jobs' widow. Yep. Oh man. That is the first.

And you know, I love the neoliberal cargo cult element, the, the, the, the magical element like, like fucking, like Steve, like Steve Jobs' wife is like a temple priestess who has had Congress with the gods or something like she has a bit of his magic within her. Like she's just the wife of an asshole who's dumb and died. Real dumb. The fucking juice drinking nitwit died and he had a wife. What does she have to say? I mean, we all make fun of Steve Jobs for being one of the richest men who's ever lived

and probably having the best probability of beating his cancer and instead opting to drink naked juice. Yep. But maybe he would have died quicker if he hadn't drinking the juice. Yeah, that's true. And everyone think about that. Been literally nothing. Yeah.

Okay. It's like Albert Einstein or Thomas Edison said, I've not found a way to fail. I've just found a million ways that don't work. Yeah. And that's Steve Jobs with cancer. He's like, all right, we've done an experiment and it turns out the juice doesn't work. Yeah. It turns out if I drink like some papaya, I kind of die after.

All right. So Hillary comes out and she I think it's interesting. Her style has sort of ditched the pantsuit presidential power thing and is now wearing these sort of like flowing kind of cat like Moomoo like, yeah, it's like very OSHA like yeah, no, I honestly felt like we were to Rajneesh she fucking rally because the colors of the bandanas are the same orange and red as the Rajneesh. And so it felt like we were there to see the Bagwan and then she came out in this big billowing shimmering.

Queen Sheila Sheila and it's like, fuck, oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's like I'm really happy that she's got her divorcee in Miami phase. Yeah. Yeah. She could never do the pantsuit. She would never do like a V-necked. She always did the Nehru.

So she could have had the Merkle-Titty thing going, but she was just too frumpy for it. She looked like a tin soldier. Now she just needs to go full cult. No, she's full cult. She could have gotten these people to drink the fucking Kool-Aid right there. Here's the thing. Here's the dynamic in this interview. Steve Jobs's widow would ask these very long leading questions that would sort of like

pile one thing, one outrage on top of the other and like peak the excitement of this audience of people who are literally like chanting for Hillary and be like, please help me. Save us. Save us from destruction. You know, like you'd be like, you know, we all saw what happened last week. Donald Trump in Helsinki, the Mueller indictments, Trump and the audience would be peaking and like at one point a woman literally yelled, he's a spy about Donald Trump.

And then so she'd ask these really long leading questions and then Hillary would answer and then immediately just start droning on in this flat way and then just dissipate all the energy that like had been keyed up by the question by just being like, well, obviously I'm very concerned. You know, if you read the Mueller indictments and I recommend that you read them, there's just a lot of interesting stuff there and I want it to be like, what interesting stuff and then she just goes on, you know, our director of national intelligence and just sort of lays out this very kind of like rote recitation of like the news facts about Donald Trump

and Russia. It was like every time the question got asked, the entire audience took a big breath in and then Hillary's answer was just a slow exhale to nothing. Yeah. Because they all like it dissipated all the energy and yet they were not the great orator Hillary Clinton. They want it. Amazing.

That little dog is there in her in her mumu, you know, unmoored from electoral politics with her party. She's at a party at Ozzie Fest. Just chilling at Ozzie Fest. Yeah. She's chilling and there is audience of women of like nasty women and people who are like, you know, probably active politically, who are like really want to see her. She could he could have just cut loose and be like, you know what?

Fuck Donald Trump. He's a crook, a fraud and probably an illegitimate president. Oh, and she might have started another revolution. And you know, to be honest, that would be true. And that's all these people wanted to hear. But instead she just like just drones on. And again, this is like, I literally felt like Homer Simpson when Ned Flanders is talking to him about Cider, that was that was in my brain, finally left my body.

I could just feel my body, my spirit leaving my body. And I didn't get it back until we made it all the way back to my house. But like, this was the big day new month. Again, Hillary Clinton said nothing of interest as Matt. Matt kept saying, where's the tea? I want to see any tea. No tea was spilled. Putin wasn't even canceled.

Well, that that's the thing. Did you guys all had spares is burning recently because the entire WhatsApp is nothing but T this and T that. And it's not like I'm uncomfortable with people who use that language. They're around me a lot, but it's usually not you guys. Look, it's tea. That's all there is. Matt, Matt, that's all there is to it. Matt's trying to get on Real Housewives.

Matt's trying to be one of the Real Housewives. He they're like a TV parties without me. No, yeah, he's going to be in Real Housewives. Fucking Lisa Vanderpump is going to be in the interview segment and be like, I've honestly had a terrible week with Ramona, but Matt is Matt is always a calming force and then it's like Matt in Sir with Lisa and he's just eating a huge plate of ribs. Yes, that's key. This would be awesome.

I could throw a drink into a woman's face and yell at it and say, how could you wear a tube top to my son's funeral? Matt, can we join Vanderpump rules? Yes, King. That's going to be T. I I do like I do like the Hillary stuff, though, because it's like it reminds me of the Obama stuff where from Dan Pfeiffer's book where it's like I told Barack Obama was getting married and he was like, do you like her? OK, cool. And he just think it's the most amazing advice he's ever gotten.

And Hillary will just be like, sometimes I think Donald Trump isn't a very good president and people look like, oh, my God, you just went off. No, that's how they acted like the mildest thing she says. I think the president needs to wake up to what's happening. Oh, yes. Yes, Queen. Yes. It's like, did they expect her to go up and be like, I think he deserves more chances. He's brought he's brought half of the jobs back. What did you do?

Oh, you know, you know, she said, you know, Putin is, you know, he wants to dominate his neighborhood, you know, like that's our job. No, it was explicit that America has a sphere of influence, which is good because America is good and it does good things. Russia has a sphere of influence is bad because Russia is bad and it does bad things. If we lose our sphere of influence to Russia, then that means bad things for those people. So that means we have to keep our sphere of influence as big as possible. We need a new Cold War.

This is amazing. This is this. These people are all members of of of the cult of the infallible mother god. It's insane. It's fucking insane. She did not take a single bit of blame for anything that's befallen us. She talks about America is good. America is good.

The election of Trump is a total aberration that was largely the product of cheating because an intervention by Vladimir Putin. So yeah, America is great, except for that. I have a question. I imagine it was just like breathless, nonstop Russia talk, because like for that event to take place, you have to believe that like the election was an aberration. And as you said, yeah, it's my cheating.

Was there any talk about like voter suppression? There were a little bit. She talked about the voting rights act being about. She did talk about Supreme Court getting the voting rights that Tom Perez did talk about, you know, in his own weird language, like access to voting. Like he talks about access to health care, I think. Awesome. I love affordable voting. Hillary did mention, like, you know, considering that we should probably

get rid of the Electoral College, you know, it's a little too little too late. So yeah, there was that was acknowledged also because they don't want that because because it would it would make their own party vulnerable to left wing competition, but she does not take any responsibility. Once she was no, she's the infallible mother God crystal clear is that she actually said at one point, America is a great country and we could have a great future, but I feel like we're blowing it. She's like blaming us like you fucking idiots blew this for me at no point

does she take any responsibility to say we could have done more. We could have foreseen something. We could have spoken to people's dreams more. We could have been more conscious of what's going on. No, just the bad Russians stole it from me. And it's your fault for not much, you know, fighting enough for me. But that's a big thing with these these kind of very dutiful followers of neoliberalism.

I remember when the journalists that busted the Elizabeth Holmes story found out that the employees at Theranos had made a video game where they shot his head and it was really fascinating. It's like one, don't use your you kind of have a job. How did you have time to do this? But two, they blamed the journalist and not the infallible mother god with her booming voice and like these these are not charismatic women in any way. She's shouting on in charismatic Hillary is never seen before.

And it was just breathtaking. I don't know how they can their pipe pipers are so uncharming. I don't understand it at all. It's just they're ladies drifters. Here was the brutal day new month to the entire day and Hillary Clinton's little discussion at the end of it, Steve Jobs's widow was like, you know, we want to show you what America really is and like all the all the hope that's happened since January of this year, you know, and they like they

pulled back the stage and like, you know, a big projector was assembled. And they're like, we we either her or the people at Ozzy were like, we created this montage for you, Hillary. And it was this slick video package of like a map of the United States and then like like dots would like pop up on it to mark protests that have happened like the March for Science, the, you know, Parkland teens or like anti gun stuff. And like really what you were seeing was like every bit of like protests

or like activists energy and cause that has happened since Donald Trump election was basically saying, it's all for you, Hillary. Yes, it's all you inspired all of us to do this. And this is all about you. They had images from fucking Standing Rock, which happened mostly under Obama and when she in which she totally signed off on, she offered that like really mealy mouth statement about it in the run up to the to the election. They black lives matter protests.

I mean, teacher strikes, teacher strikes in some of them in Democratic controlled states. I did the just the idea that you could turn all of that into some encoding on the American people who essentially let Hillary down and now we're trying to redeem themselves in her honor. That is really what it was. It was like, we've all disappointed you, mother. We're very sorry.

We're trying to make it up to you. And then they show her this image of them getting better. We're getting better as a country. We're going to be worthy of you someday, Hillary. And then she gets to say, I forgive you. That's that was it. Like, you know, it was like we fell down. You know, we let you down and like now we're seeing where we're growing.

We've learned the mistake and like there was images of people like I'm marching for my daughter. Like, you know, I'm marching because, you know, we're all one people and like America is better than hate or whatever. And it was, uh, yeah, that was that was really it. That was like the climax to the whole day. We're all Johnny Fontaine and Hillary's Don Corleone. We're going to come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding.

So after that, then it turns into an actual music festival and common wrapped someone called Young the Giant performed. Although I don't know if that's a band because that's that's when the rain came because all day it got more and more cloudy until Hillary came up and the skies were almost black and it felt like judgment was upon us. Like she had summoned God's wrath by her very presence. And I just kept waiting for that cleansing, judging rain to come down honest while she was speaking.

And it never happened. God has forgotten us. I'm sorry. I sat on cry for us anymore. What we do, he doesn't care. I sat on the harp remote. My mistake. You know, I kept waiting, uh, you know, Adomian was texting me during it.

And he said, like, he, he, he thought the whole thing should end with some sort of cabin in the wood style twist, like the hand of Molok, just like emerges from the ground. And the sky was getting so black. That's what I thought was going to happen or even better, you know, per the name of the magazine and the event, uh, that they would just teleport in some giant alien squid that would kill everyone. I thought I was going to have to like, it was going to be true

detective season one where Marty goes to the biker bar. I was imagining myself just like doing low kicks and like clinch elbows through the crowd of like resistance dads to get to you guys because they found out that you guys were undercover. I just like pull out my 92 fs out of my waistband. Fuck away. But no, you guys were fine. I was just hoping I could do that.

We were fine. Fucking cool. Anyway, so God, I feel like reciting everything we did was almost as tiring as experiencing it. That's pretty brutal. Like I said, we made our escape missing the second day. You might think how could there ever be a second day of this, but we there won't be for me after opening up my soul that deeply.

What I saw there, what's happening to not today that we're missing. We got milk and glad well spinning the ones and twos DJ Malcolm Gladwell. That's right. He's done a thousand hours of 10,000 hours of beats and he's bringing him to you. He's taking ox core DJ sets for Mordell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Chelsea Handler and that billionaire scumbag Tom Steyer,

who wants to become like the fucking basically the Koch brother of the Democrats or maybe even run for president. Yeah. Tom Steyer has like six hundred billion dollars and he's used it buying billboards and say Trump and Russia. Something's going on. Exactly. What is his money and so helpful?

He's having a conversation. What is his money and oh, he's a hedge fund motherfucker, like all of them. And he's he's going to be talking to with Chelsea Handler about impeachment and what we can do to make it happen. Oh, my God, I want to get a good show on my TV. I want to see that impeachment trial. That's going to be must see TV. So we're missing that.

We're missing Carl fucking Rove. Sweating Christmas. Ham is right now or he already did it doing a fucking thing where he talks about, oh, let me tell you about conservative. Yeah, you know what? You should not have an event with Carl Rove unless it's a public execution. You know what, Matt, I'm glad you brought up Carl Rove because another thought I had as pure as a diamond right in my

forehead in the middle of Hillary, you know, litigating all of this Russia stuff and all of the people who were enraptured by it. I want to be like, these are all like adult to middle age people. In 2000, George W. Bush stole an election in front of everyone. No foreign interference involved. Straight up stole that was appointed president by the Supreme Court and he went on to start a war that killed a million people. Could you grow up, please?

We have a little perspective about. But he wasn't a cheeto. Oh, God, I was a man. I don't know. So yeah, that's it. That's I can't wait for Ozzy Fest in, you know, 2028 when, you know, the Baron Trump Marcus Notch Peterson superticket wins and Donald Trump is at Ozzy Fest 2028.

And he's like, you know, my own son, he's just he's too racist. I'm very disappointed. And the crowd goes crazy. It's his head in a jar and it's fucking this. It's cased in a bubble because New York City is completely under water. Yeah, his body, his CPU is encased by balls from McDonald's ball pit in the play place. Yeah, I need oxyfest after living through this. But yeah, what I'll say to sum it up, the impression I got from this and the general

energy for the Democrats are going to run from now until 2020 on Russia and Donald Trump impeaching him, holding him accountable and then returning, bringing normal see back and they're going to try to sort of leech as much energy as they can get from people who are really excited about things like abolishing ice or single payer and they're going to absorb it all and just shit out someone like, I don't know, Joe Biden or like try to get Hillary across the line again. They haven't learned anything and they're not going to change. That's what I've learned.

Irredeemables, you've seen the heart of darkness. Well, sounds like there's a lot of bad news out there, but I'm going to tell you the world is getting better in small ways every day. Five wins, your team. Fuck you mean on fortnight on for this last Friday, including three in a row, which even Ninja himself has trouble doing. World is getting better. Let's go.

Nothing beside remains round the decay of that colossal wreck. That's your game. You're the wreck of the other team. Actually, here's a bit of good news. I'd like to do one plug before we close, starting now from the moment you listen to this, my words and in the description to this show's episode, we are beginning our very special e-book promotional offer. If you pre-order the Chapo Guide to Revolution, folks, you've heard about it.

Offspoken about in Hush Tones, a special e-book written by the minds behind Capo Trap House containing four all-new, all-original tales of madness and weirdness will be yours for free if you pre-order the Chapo Guide to Revolution from any bookstore. Here's how it works. Send a copy of your receipt, a screenshot or the email that you got forwarded or even just a photograph of a receipt to ChapoBook at gmail.com. Email ChapoBook at gmail.com, all one words, with a copy of your receipt, your

pre-order receipt to get a free copy of Tales from the Dark Looking Glass. There's a potrap house. Chapo Trap House presents Tales from the Dark Looking Glass. And we are certainly through that Dark Looking Glass. Oh, yeah. We are all the way through, baby. That we have gone to Ozzy Fest and come back alive to tell you about it. But changed.

Yes. Yeah. There is no change for us. Yeah. We have such sights to show you. Oh, and also before I go, I would be remiss if I didn't give a very special shout out to Jamie Peck, our friend for the day, our spiritual guide and guru through the grueling affair of Ozzy Fest.

Please check out Jamie Peck for the Majority Report and her own podcast, The Antifada, links in show description till next time, guys. That's the La Pronto. Bye bye. Bye.