Chapo Trap House - Episode 240 - The Shittalk Express (8/27/18)

Episode Date: August 28, 2018

All Aboard! Tickets still available for our Northeast Tour: http://chapotraphouse.com/tour/

And then I don't think Americans are concerned if we're there for a hundred years or a thousand years or ten thousand years. What they care about is the sacrifice of our most precious treasure and that's American blood. He's an error. No man. No man. He's a decent family man.

I am very pleased and very privileged to introduce to you the next vice president of the United States, Governor Sarah Palin of the great state of Alaska. And complete the dang fence. It'll work this time. And complete the dang fence. It'll work this time. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. You're listening to the Chalfo Morning Zoo crew, John McCain, official memorial hour,

hour, hour. The senator from Arizona is da, da, da, da, and we're gonna be counting down all his greatest hits starting with a rock block smash of four Led Zeppelin songs in a row beginning with immigrant song. Kill the damn fence. John McCain, McCain, McCain, the greatest senator in American history, history, history, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, his brain died, died, died. He's in heaven, heaven, heaven now, now, now.

You're some of the people he will meet. He's in a car with Ryan Dunn right now. They're driving around heaven. I won't tell you how that ends. Oh my God. He's getting into another car with Paul Walker, Walker, Walker. It's the seven people you'll meet in heaven. John McCain is one, one, one of them.

They're already subscribed to the show. We don't have to keep hustling. Call in and say the phrase. Keep slathering on that makeup. You look like a trawlp, you cunt. The wind kick is the one. Whoa, boys, it is, we are on the Straight Talk Express right now and we're gonna give you an hour plus of straight talk on the life and legacy of Senator John McCain, longtime

friend of the show. It is a choppo, full court press. We've got the whole team here. Like I said, look back on the life, the love, the career of American hero, Senator John McCain. The greatest American hero, I think, of all time. I mean, that's what the show is gonna be about today. This is our wake.

It's an Irish wake for John McCain. I'm not drunk yet. Is he Irish? We'll get there. He was a goddamn Scotch Iris bug monster, like every other of the most diseased people in American political history. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, yeah, throw your hands up, yeah, throw your hands up.

Tolkien got the way that they make orcs from knowing about Scott's marriage. So yeah, I mean he, you know, John McCain passed away, he succumbed to his brain cancer owned. He's in heaven now, though. He's in heaven with Aretha Franklin, Prince. Jonas Savimbi. David Bowie. Big win.

Little win. Crackhead Bob. Eric the actor. Blue Iris. All the other whack pack members who were dead. The unfortunate news is John McCain's body is being disrespected due to a very rare law, you know, U.S. Senate stipulation. John McCain is being kept in XXXTentacion's mausoleum on the floor.

He's not even being given a coffin. He's just rotting. He's not really like, it's sort of an unfitting end for this American hero, but at least he's with X in heaven. They put him in basketball shorts. But also due to another Senate bylaw, he is X's slave in the afterlife, which is kind of weird, but it's like we have these rules for reasons. This Senator McCain fought for these rules, so we have to respect them.

So we're to begin with John McCain, you know, is his body lying in state like Stalin? Yeah, no, they're going to do the whole deal. They're going to do in the lying in state, they're going to rename, probably rename the Senate Russell office building after him. John McCain might rename Washington, D.C. McCain. Oh, man, they do not want to rename that airport. That is just asking for trouble. Oh, no, yeah, they're going to, they're going to do the whole thing, rename everything

after him. Uh, David Gregory is probably going to throw himself on a funeral pyre in a shower. Yeah. Uh, Jake Chaper, Jake Tapper feeling sad, feeling sad right now should not be alone. Jake Tapper is never ending hunt for some Koochie. Jake Tapper has been like, he, he has like a fucking baby monitor. He had a baby monitor for McCain's death bed and just every time he thought a sign got worse, he's like just DM'd like 60 girls.

Oh, my back hurts. I've been up for six hours. I'm really sad about John McCain. Actually this just in Jake Tapper has also died of dehydration from doing too many counter views to the late great Senator McCain. Jake Tapper Jake Tapper is strolling at the McCain's funeral, just beeline, beeline to Megan, just fucking pushing Ben Domino out of the way and going, yo, where my, I mean, where's your hug at?

I'm so sorry. You know, they're going to give her some kind of a promotion for this. Oh, she's going to be the next Senator from Arizona. That already Benson, one of these turds made that, made that recommendation. Of course. Yes. Uh, why not? Why not do it?

Do it. Yes. Why? Why? Is it William Kennedy Smith? Why doesn't he have Joe? Teddy Kennedy's seat? Yeah.

All the alcoholic Kennedy's give it to Chelsea Clinton. That cousin who killed the girl, cousin who killed the foot in there. Yeah. Michael Skake old. You should be in there. All the all the southern, all the southern conservatives, all their sons who all murder dogs for some reason, just put them all in there. Who cares from Thurman to the fifth?

Now let's take up the really weird Kennedy's, the ones that they don't want you to see that live in basements, the gray gardens, Kennedy's. I want them to run things. You got to figure there are at least like seven Kennedys who are white people with dreadlocks, right? Oh, totally. There has to be. Hey, uh, how about let's put Rosemary Kennedy in there.

She'll raise the IQ of Congress, conservatively. Okay. So, I mean, I read yesterday, uh, in his will, he, uh, requested that both Barack Obama and George W. Bush speak at his funeral at the National Cathedral. They're going to play the Paul Walker Wiz Khalifa song. Definitely. But no, I mean, look, I mean, we can, these, the takes right themselves. Like we, we can, I can see what's coming as clear as my hand in front of my eyes.

Barack Obama and George W. Bush are going to speak at McCain's funeral and everybody is going to say, you know, just for a brief moment, America was united again and you know, they spoke to our better angels and they raised our nation, but also, and most importantly, sort of slyly and implicitly condemned Donald Trump. Uh, let me be clear. Uh, John F. Kennedy was a great, uh, friend to the cause of the global caliphate. I like how through all this, like George W. Bush is a big background player. George W. Bush was crueler to John McCain than Donald Trump ever was.

Oh yeah. All Donald Trump, like Donald Trump's biggest sins against McCain's was being like he was a bad pilot, which like, you know, if McCain was, it's funnier, it's funnier if McCain was like a cooler person, he'd be like, yeah, I kind of sucked, uh, you know, it's like me with video games. I like to believe I'm very good, but, you know, after a while I'm like, yeah, I'm not so good. McCain could do that with being a pilot, but he can't because he's too much of an asshole.

Meanwhile, George W. Bush did robo calls in the 2000 Republican primaries, his campaign saying that McCain's adopted daughter was an illegitimate black child he conceived in Vietnam and McCain was like, I forgive you, who cares? Like cooler than anything Trump couldn't like get it together to do a robo call or anything. Yeah. That's the thing is that George W. is like a, in his prime was a really kind of focused frat boy bully and also like Obama and Bush, those are the guys who owned him.

Those are the guys who were stood between him and his lifelong ambition of being president and getting to initiate a global nuclear war and they're just going to stand there and be like, yep, uh, our vanquished foe. We respect him. I mean, Trump just said some, you know, hilarious insults about him. He never, he didn't actually stop him from being president. Yeah. The ultimate cuck move Trump also like he was so nice that he wanted to make up with

John McCain so much that he passed and signed a tax bill mandating it. So none of McCain's shitty kids would ever have to work like he knew that they were as dumb as their dad. And he was like, here you go. And McCain was still not big enough of a man to make up with him. Uh, let's talk about, uh, Trump though, because one of my favorite things happening right now is all of the people, how dare you, sir, that, uh, that, uh, Trump has not had the official White House flag at half mass for Trump.

Oh my God. And I've literally seen, uh, I've literally seen people being like, this will not stand if you have a flag flight at half mass, everyone put their flag at half mass. Oh my God. There are going to be liberals arrested for like civil disobedience, but it's like putting the Arby's flag at half mass, like climbing the flagpole and in and out and shit. We also know that the, uh, the White House comm shop, uh, like Sarah Huckabee Sanders had apparently according to news sources, a, you know, a pre-packaged pre-written statement

already did to go for John McCain about, you know, what a hero and what an honorable man he was that Trump personally spiked and, and put out a Twitter statement just saying thoughts and prayers to the family. King, King. That's how you do that. Bless up. That's how you do that shit. You know, though, that like Sarah Huckabee Sanders for all of her, uh, bullshit is like

a real like student council president kind of bruiser. Yeah. Like she definitely like, she, she burnt that a bit into wood and a pyrography class. She's a real pick flick girl. Yeah. And what my favorite thing about the Trump thing is he like put an Instagram condolence to John McCain over a picture of himself. That's amazing.

He's such a powerful brain. It's like, he doesn't even, he looks so bad in every picture, but particularly bad in this picture. He's like, Oh damn, looks like you lost again. By the way, here's my disgusting body. Like it's so, he's so, but he legitimately thinks he looks good in that picture. Like it just such a fuck you. It is a continuous thing where I feel like the kind of libs are gaslighting me like every

time I read anything where they're like, look at what he's doing. He's sending secret messages. It's like, he's so senile. He's, he's so syphilitic or something. Like it's just so obvious. And this is why I think we need multi-generational households because you should be able to see what a brain dying looks like. This is augury.

I was watching the trails, the paths of birds and trying to find wisdom from it. So my favorite thing I saw today, I just caught up from coming here, is that Trump is in some unrelated meeting with, I don't know, I think with a head of state or something, the prime minister of Niger asking why he gets to use that word and the White House press corps had to be ushered out of the room because they were yelling at Trump and asking any, any comments on John McCain? What do you think about John McCain? What do you think about John McCain?

And you know, Trump's obviously not responding. Just grinning there like an idiot. And everyone is just in such a high dungeon about this, including friend of the show, Joan Walsh, whose blurb can be found on the front cover of a book. No, I mean, this is the overall thing. Like, you know, the next week or so, like as you listen to the show, you are going to be hit with just a tsunami of the most sanctimonious bullshit imaginable from the political press because John McCain really was the avatar of everything they believe in.

And I want to go into why. In that, like, he was someone who got infinite mileage out of occasionally going against his party and putting country first, but again, only doing that, like, he would make statements against his party, but it would almost always end up signing on to the bad thing as well. But the thing is, like, in the Washington media, you only get press for doing a good thing if you spent your entire career doing bad things. So like, the fact that John McCain came out against, you know, torture during the Iraq war, everyone was like, give him a huge standing O for that, that he, you know, broke with

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, but like, whereas if you had spent your entire career in politics, like, you know, at Dennis Kucinich or Mike Ravel figure, just generally being opposed to pointless violence and dehumanization and slaughter of any kind, you would get no credit for that whatsoever. What they like is a massive warhawk that nonetheless has lines. Yeah. And here's the thing. What you're seeing right now, like, you know, I, you know, seeing like, you know, Maggie

Haberman or like all these people just saying that, like, the nation is in mourning right now. And I just want to be like, what you mean, we white men, you know what I mean? Like, not everyone is mourning. No one fucking gives a shit. And you know, most importantly, shitty mean old man. No, most importantly, here's who's not mourning John McCain, not us, the, you know, shitty dirtbag leftist, all of the Republican base, every single Trump supporter is pissing on

his grave right now. If you look in the comment section of any Fox News story or any right wing forum or any major right wing media figure, everyone is talking about what a traitor he is, how he's in hell right now. Trump has 90 percent again, 90 percent approval rating from his base. So who are all these people talking about what a hero and what a great figure John McCain is? It's journalists and it's liberals.

By the way, Q, the Q theory is that he killed himself because he was about to be arrested for doing pizza gate. Yeah. No, he did. It was a military tribunal. He was going to be put before it by a military tribunal for doing military pedophilia, which is the worst kind. Yeah.

They gave them years old hut. They put him before the star chamber and they gave him the option of like the Roman yeah, a suicide where you inject yourself with brain cancer. So yeah, all of the Republicans, all the conservative movement, none of the people who really subscribe to this or believe in it like John McCain or think he's a hero. It's only liberals and the political press. The political press, I understand. But for everyone else who is like going, you know, party over country right now, now is

not the time to, you know, talk, even bring up even any mild criticism of his actual political impact on this country. My question is why, why, why, why, why, why are you doing this? Well, I think some of it is that he was having all these deathbed regrets, but they were in no way a concession of his own moral failings. Like he would be like, well, the Iraq war was a mistake. He means it was a strategic mistake. He doesn't mean that it was like murderous and completely unnecessary.

He means like, well, that didn't work out well for us. Yeah. And he was doing like as soon as Bush's popularity started to tank a little bit, he's like, we could be running this thing that we absolutely need to do 100% a little better. Like that was, that was the Republican, like fucking Chuck Hagel is the same way. That was the move. If you were like one of the last of the dying breeds of the quote, Republican moderates in 2006 and 2007 was to admit that the Iraq war was going poorly, which it was.

He doesn't, you know, he 100% still thinks we should have gone there. Yeah. But I mean, and also I would have accepted like a true like deathbed confession. Like I would have been like, fuck you, old man, but at least you did something good on the way out. But he wasn't like, there was no clear weighing on his conscience. He's like, it was a mistake. He never used words like atrocity or anything like that.

Well, and it's not like he stopped after the Iraq war, promoting every fucking military adventure. He could get his hands on. He was, he was, he wrote about up until his death. He was annoyed that we didn't go into Syria. He was annoyed that we didn't send more arms and soldiers to the Ukraine. He was basically pissed that he missed World War three and getting a little bit into the man's life.

Like there were obvious reasons why the press liked McCain so much. He was nice to them. Like he would basically throw these parties for them, like his straight talk barbecues. He would talk to them. He would give them quotes. He knew how to play these people because to be a journalist in America, you have to be for the most part, this is the majority of national level journalists, not local reporters, but the majority of national ones.

You have to be just a fucking cretin who believes creepness things and will just the moment anyone is nice to you, you just fucking roll over on your belly and expose your smooth genitals. But McCain was also a bit of a hero to them because McCain was somebody who, unlike his successors that he brushed up against in the Republican and Democratic Party, he was someone who it seemed like he had gone through some struggle. Now if you actually look at it, McCain was, the trend in his life was he experienced maybe .001% of the punishment he deserved. He flies over Vietnam just dropping death and chemicals and what?

He gets the same prison sentence you get for unarmed burglary. Oh, his shoulder doesn't work. Oh, no. You know, talk to the people that he just flew over after, by the way, he camped the plane respawn and got to keep getting in them, but okay, so he gets that, he gets that and he gets out and it's like, oh my God, what a hero, what a hero, this guy who, how many bodies did he have them on him at that point? How many fucking bodies did this fucking wide faced cretin have at this point?

Then he, you know, after savings and loan after everything, he looks a little contrite, he's a little sad and that's enough, that's enough for journalists in the early 90s. Then after just years of larceny, after years of abusing his power, getting MMA banned in America, all this shit, no, well, he got MMA banned in America because his fucking wife, who he'd left his other wife when she was on her fucking sick bed, Mary Cindy McCain. The one that looked a lot like Sarah Palin. But Mary Cindy McCain, this heir to this Anheuser-Busch distributor who makes, a bird woman, a bird woman, her and Callista Gingrich, actually birds.

No one talks about this, they're birds. They're family deep, deep in business with boxing, somehow gets the, you know, up and coming competitor banned, just savings and loan, all this evil shit he's done forever. Then it's 2000 and oh, look who's throwing me barbecues. Oh, whoops. Oh, George W. Bush was mean to him. And his punishment for the rest of the time is that he has to hug George W. Bush, smile at this man he hates, and he stands up to him two or three times, and that, that's enough.

I want to go through the McCain legacy, but before I do, Felix, you mentioned the press love him because he's nice to them. I would dispute even that. They all love him. But if you read all of these like touching remembrances about how, you know, cool and fun he was, they all have a weird quality. It doesn't really seem like he's being nice to them. It seems like he's being a massive asshole, which I can only conclude that every other

senator is either the most blank person, the most zero personality imaginable or like a Albert fish level psychopath. I think it's a mixture of because these journalists are piss pigs. They're yes. They're shame pigs. They love being nagged. And again, to extend it to well, and they're also little, yeah, they're little nerdlets and they, they want a daddy to dom them.

Yeah. They're lost around by a father figure, like the one they never had or whatever. That's why Jim Webb even got any coverage at all. Like there was like a, it's an ancient memory now, but there were like Mark Halperin and uh, who's the other fucking guy? John Heilman. Yeah. John Heilman, like profile, exhaustive profiles of Jim Webb and what a maverick he was.

And it's like, what do you think like Jim Webb said to these just fucking round, fleshy journalism ofs? What do you think this man who brags about killing people and talks about reverse racism on a national stage thought of these guys? Well, they just, they want to be bossed around by a military daddy. Yeah. Let's not forget the purely kind of economic motivation they have for it is that he moved a lot of ink.

People loved reading about McCain. Which is what they lived and died by. And he was always, I mean, my God, he would, he'd show up to any fucking bullshit event or, or show, talk to anybody, give drop a quote for anything and that's huge. Oh, he was a media creature. Absolutely. He knew, he knew how to play the game too. Like you remember when he was drawing out the, uh, vote like his last great act, he,

he says right before, you know, he finally goes against Trump, the 17 literal 17% of the time he would vote against his agenda. He goes, you want to see what I'm going to do? Stay tuned. It was all a show to him. It was all a show to him. It was pro wrestling, but it is these people, they just, they, they bought the face. Oh my God, I just figured it out.

Okay. Trump is reality TV. McCain was prestige TV. I want, okay. So I want to go through like the McCain legacy right now, I want to go through some of like the greatest hits of his career, which, you know, we're going to hear and, you know, like I said, prepare yourself for the week to come beginning with, you know, like the centerpiece of his, you know, his courage and, uh, like the thing that everyone loves about him the

most, his service in Vietnam and in particular his time as a POW and the thing that everyone references is that, you know, he had a chance to be released early, but he chose to stay and made sure that all of the officers who were in prison there were released in the order that they got there, right? Which is like in that context, yeah, that's an honorable thing to do in that situation to let someone else who'd been there longer go first. However, the entire political press and everyone who's referencing this is completely unable to reckon with why he was there in the first place.

No, they act like he got fucking kidnapped by the Simonese Liberation Army and then in Shanghai and sent to fucking Hanoi. He was, yeah, he was the son of an admiral who volunteered to be, you know, a Navy pilot to drop bombs on Vietnam and from 1968 on, you know, and by the way, I think Tom Skoker, someone else pointed this out, most of his imprisonment in Vietnam took place after Nixon had purposely prolonged the war another four and a half years. So thank him for his stay there as well. But again, like, he was the bad guy in that war.

Yeah. The pilot is an especially vile class, in my view. It's George H.W. Bush, he was a Navy pilot in World War II and he was a handover when the war started and all of his elders were saying, no, no, no, we need you to stay at your fancy prep school and over to Yale and you need to graduate and become the leaders and let, you know, let the, let the draft sort it out, let the chaff, you know, fight. But Bush was excited to make a name for himself and he was just excited to be a Knight of the Sky.

Yeah. Is what they, what they viewed being a pilot as. And McCain's the same way. It's a resume builder too. It's like the equivalent of doing like Teach for America for Libs that are going to go on to become corporate lawyers. Well, in another feudal society in Saudi Arabia, the only prestige, the military is just sort of a jerk off profession over there, except for being a pilot because that's the cavalry,

the 20th and 21st century and for McCain, that's what it was. He was, that was the aristocratic military position. I assumed their ground troops was just like a fleet of Lamborghinis or something. I mean, I mean, like, Matt, I think you said on a recent show, like, you know, Vietnam didn't happen. It's just, it's only like just movies and like what we remember from movies and TV shows. American heroism and suffering and that's all that it was.

It was a pageant of American trauma and McCain is just an example of that. Yeah. Someone who suffered unjustly. He suffered so greatly during the Vietnam War, but again, he was part of a war machine that dropped more bombs on Southeast Asia than the United States did on Germany and Japan during all of World War II. I think just during Operation Rolling Thunder, which needed out untold civilian casualties at the end of the day.

We're talking about millions of people that were killed by the United States military during Vietnam. Again, another completely unjustified war of aggression. Also, again, it's not just that people were killed. The environmental devastation of that war left congenital like violence on the children that were produced by the people who survived that war. People in Laos and Cambodia to this day are still killed by unexploded U.S. munitions dropped on their country.

It's just like birth defects and shit. Yeah. Agent Orange. Yeah. I mean, the list goes on and on. There's no clean war, obviously, but this was particularly horrifying. Again, the inability of the political press or anyone who references his, like I said, in that context, honorable decision to stay longer than passing up the opportunity to

leave. I have completely unable to categorize, like, to conceive of the Vietnam War as an atrocity, which is what it was. Yeah. And so it was a rolling thunder. That was Johnson's and Westmoreland's campaign to bomb North Vietnam with no real military purpose. This is just to inflict terror and force them to the bargaining table in advance of the

election. And afterwards, McCain said that, I believe he said this in one of his autobiographies, that the problem was we weren't bombing useful military installations. Generals didn't know what they were doing. We should have bombed more stuff. Well, yeah, that's the refrain of, that was sort of a very popular, that was sort of an underpinning to the Reagan Revolution, that type of conservatism. The people who, and McCain kind of did this with Iraq, someone didn't let us win.

That famous line from Rambo 2. So don't say that, you know, oh, John McCain was just a cog in this war machine. He wasn't one making the decisions. No, he wanted more. He wanted to do more. And when he came home, he was a propaganda tool for the war effort. Yeah, praise Nixon. Yeah.

I mean, by the way, it's not as if the entirety of like, you know, U.S. servicemen and women at that point were totally brainwashed to, I think the degree they kind of are now. It's much more homogeneous opinion that whatever we're doing in X foreign country is good. There was an incredibly vibrant like GI anti-war movement at the time, like you saw visibly a ton of soldiers who were like defecting and going to jail for refusing to serve. So it's not like, it's not like it could, you could attribute it completely to group thing. There was, there were dissenting servicemen and women that refused.

I mean, say what you all about John Kerry, at least he comes back and says, oh yeah, that's bad. We're just doing war crimes over there. John Kerry, John Kerry sees that John Kerry comes, goes in front of the Senate and goes, I would like to make a statement like he can do that and John McCain can't. Yeah. Ernest just heard all we're talking about McCain and just ratcheted on this. I feel you, fam.

He's so old. Yeah. You know what? In, to put a bow on the Vietnam talk, imagine when people are talking about John McCain, just replace, you know, take all the fucking breathless bullshit, all the, all the hand ring, all the fake tears. When you just everyone replace, he's still, he's still going. Oh yeah.

He's still vomiting. Replace John McCain's name in any obituary, any breathless article, any, uh, smarmy tweet, just replace his name with Chris Benoit. Actually, I mean, John McCain killed significantly more people than Benoit, but absolutely and Benoit was by the end of his life, not really responsible for his actions. His brain is slurry by CTE. I don't even like wrestling, but Benoit contributed way more to humanity than John McCain.

Actually, at least he made those, the fucking, uh, the people who watch wrestling made their lives better. So make sure to make one of those browser plugins that just changes the name of John McCain to Chris Benoit. Oh, and you know what? I'm going to start it now. You are going, I would like everyone to start believing, you know, this isn't true, but I want you to start believing it.

Today, Megan McCain is secretly Chris Benoit's daughter. B, Adam 22 is, uh, John McCain's illegitimate son. I don't care that it's not true. You have to start believing it. I need you to help me ruin this man's legacy. Let's go. Uh, here's my final thought on the, on the Vietnam pegged his legacy. I read today that, uh, the current, the Vietnamese colonel who is in charge of the Hanoi Hilton,

his, his jailer and tormentor, uh, issued a statement today that said it was very, very heartfelt condolence to the McCain family and said that he, uh, very much admired, uh, John McCain, particularly for his efforts later in life to normalize relations between the United States and Vietnam, to which I would say, you know, good for that guy. You can always feel sympathy for your enemies when you defeat them. I just called it. We, I mean, like, like sportsmen, I, I would honestly like, I would have kind words for John McCain as well.

If we had defeated him in this country as well, meanwhile, uh, his words for that guy were a little different, uh, yeah. If we were to believe him, he, uh, hated that man and everyone, uh, like him right up until the moment he comes. I hate poor sports. I mean, you know, to be honest, like, I, you know, the torture of any POW is wrong and not to be celebrated. However, uh, those American officers were treated far better than Americans treated

any Vietnamese person during Vietnam, 100%. I mean, they could have just been killed. They could have just killed them on site. Oh, and not just that like torture. Yeah. No, we'd torture the fuck out of people in Vietnam. Yeah. Okay.

So just. Have you guys ever ridden, uh, the cyclone at Coney Island? Yes. Okay. So when you get to the very top of the first drop, this is the oldest functioning roller coaster in the world. You see an American flag, an Italian flag and a POW, MIA flag, and you're like, God, I've made a mistake.

When Kerry came back, he said to the Senate, who amongst us has not been torturing Charles's So, okay, moving on to another, another big, uh, peg in the, uh, the career of John McCain. This is when he had, uh, you know, was, you know, already a senator, uh, well established, uh, the Keating five savings and loan scandal. He was one of the Keating five. For those of you who don't remember that, uh, he basically helped swindle the life savings from, uh, thousands of Americans. Uh, one of the top political scandals in American history, basically the Lincoln savings and

loan collapse ended up costing the taxpayers of America $3.4 billion. For his role in this, he received only a reprimand, citing his poor judgment from the Senate Ethics Committee. Well, that thing is, that's why he became Mr. fucking two damn campaign finance. That's why he was the, then they never talked about that when he started running for two in 2000, he was Mr. two damn, uh, uh, campaign finance reform and just the fact that he had decided, you know what, now that I got caught just blatantly taking money from this fucking crook, I've decided that, you know, the thing that I did blatantly is wrong, uh, because

I got caught doing it and it was never framed that way. They never talked. It worked. It was a fucking PR washing move and it worked and then the motherfucker, he gets one piece of legislation passed, became fine gold, which is immediately fucking overturned by a citizens united ruling that was vindicated or that was decided by judges that he had all voted for because he's a, he was a fucking conservative and it was just the whole political fucking the, the first of all campaign finance is one of those classic sad lib things is like,

well, we can fix this thing. We can, we can slap some paint. We can throw some bonding on this thing to get it across the finish line if we just get this money out of there, but beyond that, it was just a goddamn PR move to be caught, to be, to become associated with the thing that was one of his big ethical lapses. So congratulations for basically once again, just rolling the press. I, I feel so bad for people who are like really into campaign finance reform. It just, it's, that's just like one level above being like, oh man, what if we played

the song imagine for Donald Trump, but just like one, just a slight level above that, thinking that would work. Uh, moving on, uh, there was his vote against recognizing Martin Luther King day is a national holiday. That's pretty good. He's probably talking about that with Aretha Franklin right now that, can we just, we're referencing possibly the worst we'd ever made, possibly the worst, Anna Navarro. Yeah.

Yeah. Where she was like, it makes me smile to think that John McCain and Aretha Franklin are hanging out up there, which is like, neither of those people are happy to see one another. One, they're very different. This friend. Yeah. Well, Felix, I was thinking about, about you when I was reading all these tweets about like, you know, heaven is like the best concert ever and you're there and you've got front

row seats and princes serenading John McCain with, I would die for you. Um, talk about Protestant mindset. That is just like pure. The idea that, that your conception of heaven is just like a really cool. It's like an even cooler version of earth with all your friends and cool people and everyone's having a big party and they love it. They're loving it. It's a, it's a church, uh, like bake sale and there are lemon squares and everyone's

just milling about quietly. But there's still a hierarchy. So all the famous people hang out together, like there's a VIP roped off section of heaven. Yeah. Yeah. That's where Game Master Anthony, but yeah, no, I mean, like, think about that though. I mean, like, if that is your actual conception of how you're going to spend eternity is that it's just like earth, but like you have like a slightly better hotel room and there are

famous people around you get to hang out with for eternity. That's what being, having your soul be with God, it feels like, that's why we literally pray for death. That's why I understand Islamic like suicide bombers. I understand the death drive. They were like, we're going to get to see Prince and have that. Seriously, it makes sense to hear them talking about, well, I get, I get to, you know, go to heaven.

And I'm like, oh yeah, we have that too. Dude, boomers are so fucking awesome that they like, they think there is an everlasting omniscient omnipresent being who just is you can't even conceive of his might and power and knowledge and love and he is infinite and he is everything. And also you go to his house and he has an Eagles concert for you. Awesome. They're so fucking cool, dude. I gotta say, respect to Judaism, respect to the Jews for not believing in any of that

horseshit. Yeah, it's like Jewish heaven is like, you can come here if you want, we really don't have one. You're gonna, you're gonna, you might see God, I don't know. And such small portions Mormon heaven is Mormon heaven is like, oh, that's the only true American religion. It's not even close to Christianity at this point because they solve the problem of it's forever.

You realize because you can talk all day. Yeah, it's basically like it's like a Hawaiian vacation, right, but you know what forever means, right? There's no way any of the like, okay, yeah, I've talked to all my favorite celebs and then, you know, five million years later you're talking to Jesse camp from MTV and you're like this fucking sucks ass. Whereas the Mormons are like you get to be God, which seems like that'd be more fun. Being God is the only way the deternity is anyone anyway interesting Mormon heaven is

like the game no man's sky. You can play that forever. It's an algorithmic creation of new worlds. I don't know. I think it's like gore with milk instead of beer. It's gross. Mormons. Oh, so fuck the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The Mormons Cinematic Universe is the best one. They are, they rock. So back from our religious digression. Here's some more highlights. Hey, this is a throwback. How about the forced removal of Navajo from their ancestral lands to open it up for coal mining interests? He did that.

He sold away the raw water. He brought back coal. You brought back clean coal. Is that a problem? Wow. He gave away the water rights that were negotiated for again by Native Americans in Arizona. He sold them out. Okay, let's get to this one.

The Iraq war. That was good. I mean, he boosted that real fucking hard. I did it again. Hey, remember the surge? That was his big thing. It worked. It worked.

He was so happy. He was vindicated. That surge worked. Hey, remember when him and Lindsay Graham went to that market in Baghdad and they had helmets and Kevlar Vesan and 10 Apache helicopters circling overhead and they're like, this is great. I'm buying a rug. It's safe. The tourism industry will be open in the next six months.

I'm just killing in Baghdad. No, John McCain and Thomas Friedman were the king of the next six months are crucial for the Iraq war. And we're still that the six months never ended that's still a fucking ongoing. And his problem, of course, if you press it on it was well, surge was good. But if it had been a double surge, if it had been a mega quintuple surge, then there would be a David Buster's on every corner in Baghdad. I'm sure you got six votes against apartheid sanctions.

The bill written by Ron Dellums on which he managed to get past a veto override. Ron Dellums who died a few weeks ago and strangely did not get the same job as John McCain. Yeah, that's weird. Ron Dellums did not become the great American statesman, according to these fucking idiots. Well, again, this goes back to what I said earlier, because if you're someone who has been on the right side of virtually every issue and then you die, the political press doesn't like that because that's like, no, at all. Look at this asshole.

You know, he's like, you know, making us feel bad or whatever. Whereas John McCain, who continually seesaws from like, you know, atrocity to mild moment of conscience, they relate to that. That's like a human quality to them. But the moment of consciousness is, is a while. I'm saying that. Yeah. His, his, his conscience isn't a conscience.

It's it's just he's antagonistic. Yeah, exactly. Like he was like because at that point he hated Bush, because Bush had owned him in the 2000 election. Yeah, it's just bitter. Yeah. And he was just a bitter piss that he's like, fuck you Bush. And so he will vote against tax cuts and stuff like that, just to fucking piss him off.

And he voted against the Obamacare because he didn't like or he voted against the Obamacare repeal because he didn't like Trump and it was amazing. As soon as Obama got in there, he became a much more down the line. Just motivated entirely by spite. Yeah, exactly. It's just pure spite and also of course his own perception of himself as this thing that he got the media to believe he was by the way, him being opposed to Obamacare repeal. Total bullshit.

That week they did multiple votes on multiple ties to repeal. He remember their skinny repeal and full repeal and all that stuff, thick repeal and he voted for some of them. He just gets credit for not voting for the last one. He picked a spot and they were all there to lap it up like the little piss hogs that they are. I'm sorry. I'm rereading the exact quote when Cindy McCain said, you're getting a little thin

up there. And he said, at least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop you cunt. Like he decided trollop was too soft. He had to double down in front of reporters to send that. Oh, yeah. He didn't care at all. Yeah. He sent it for reporters because he said cunts in like the British way.

It was a term of endearment. Or he was a wrong cunt. Cindy McCain is a wrong cunt. Cindy McCain is a proper legend. Oh, the Asians have nicked me plainly. Okay. Here's the next one on my list of McCain achievements. The bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.

Iraq wasn't enough for him. He was also completely gung-ho for Iran. And for everyone who was like, everyone who's going to listen to this show or saw our tweets during the past day who are so, so disgusted that we'd make a joke about someone dying. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran. Hey, that was a joke too. What's your problem? He was joking about starting another fucking war that would kill another few hundred thousand

people. It's just jokes. He was just joking. Come on. Calm down. He's just joking. That's why we fired him from the podcast. Yeah.

He's just joking. These are just jokes we're talking about right now. It's sad though. He was so good at riffing. But that's really weird. These are just jokes. In that spirit, I have, I have a joke as well. He may not be a Peter Jackson splatter film, but he is brain dead.

Yeah. So he advocated for the Iran war that he sadly didn't get before he died. And although I'm sure, you know, it's going to be called Operation Rolling McCain when they finally bombed Iran, but Libya down for it. Siri intervention. Good start. Why not more? Everything could we have some more armed moderate rebels and maybe a U.S. intervention there

or Ukraine? Yes. More war. Please, please give it to me. His whole thing was everywhere and at all times, maximal conflict, ratchet everything up to the point of violence. He loved it. It, it, it, it, it satisfied some honestly deep and horrifying bloodlust that was very

helpfully incoincidence with the imperatives of military state. And that's why any incomium to this guy, any one of these fucking tweets or or articles about how he's an embodiment of American decency, you're basically saying that a lifetime spreading bloody imperial mayhem from Southeast Asia to the Middle East means nothing that the lives of those millions of people that he helped and mean nothing. If he can be a paragon of decency, he was exceptionally militaristic, even by American standards, just like conservative, uh, capitalists were not necessarily as, uh, enthusiastic as he was because they're like, what will this do for business?

Hey, do you guys remember this one? We're all Georgians now calm down, dude. I did not sign up for that. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not going to sit in a field to just fire off nine millimeter rounds into the sky for an hour and a half. Thank you. No, thank you. I mean, that sounds pretty awesome. Yeah, the I actually is best Georgian. Let's do it. Georgian. I am. Yeah, we are all Georgians now. Yeah, that was another thing. There's again. I could say their word. Yeah. Sorry, we're all Georgians now. Me after listening to ATL, the ATL soundtrack. This is my okay. This is my last item on

John McCain's greatest hits and it's one of the best Sarah Palin for everyone who is again, all of the liberals and all the journalists who are talking about how he represented some, some lost sense of decency and honor and American politics, everything that these people hate and fear now QAnon, Pete's a gate, birtherisms, just the general mainstreaming of just absolute ignorant Yahoo conservatism. Sarah Palin opened the door for all of that. Yep. He chose her as the running or his running mate. And yeah, way to go, buddy. Yeah, that's the circus. Yeah. He brought the circus to town. Do you remember that one rally where he's just like, he's just dying up there, like all the crowds of hooting morons who are just waiting for

like Trump and Q to roll around, you know, fucking eight years later, he's just like, and another thing, gas, who's sick of it? You know, just, just fucking dying. And then out of it, he's like, he knows, he knows he's dying because he's just a lifelong media and crowd operator. And he's like, well, how about Sarah Palin last night? How about her up there? Huh? And then the hooting morons just start cheering. That is the most iconic moment of the McCain campaign for you. And besides suspending his campaign to fix Wall Street. Yeah. That was good. Again, you know, for, for everyone who is just like, oh, we what happens to like the decent Republicans, you know, where is this lost, you know, that these

great statesmen of your, you know, Trump and all of his MAGA people. Sarah Palin, that was 10 years, exactly 10 years before all of this. She was the mother of tears. She he opened that fucking door. And as we another amazingly inept successful person, like she really was the preemptive to Trump, where she just kind of like trips over her own dick into success and she didn't win, but she got far. But it kind of showed that she, that by failing to win the office, it showed that she did not have what it took to like keep it going because now she is genuinely hawking like tummy tea on Instagram. Like she's just a Instagram thought now because she just is too lazy and stupid to keep a grift going

with the most griftable people on earth. And yet my old ass can be one heart, the one heart be standing between her and the nuclear button. She, man, this is a bit of a digression, but I kind of appreciate her because like you got to figure the other crazies like Michelle Bachman, all those people from that era, like they are, they still do live this like upper class lifestyle. Their kids still go to prep schools, all this shit, but not the Palins. The Palins are just always like the dad and son are always getting into fist fights over some snowmobile. Bristol keeps just popping out bastard kids one after the other mansion white trash. It's all I do. I am here for it. Like that is representation for you are

here for a messy bitch. You have been there. I wish they got imagine if they were vice president and it was just like someone was is on the vice president official Twitter account being like, you know, some people say they'll be there for you, but they never fucking are. Fuck the fuck this shit. Listen to a bench seven fold right now. Like Todd would get a hold of it. Then Sarah would get a hold of it. Leave. Remember Levi Johnson? Oh hell yeah. Oh my god. I can brought him at gunpoint to the RN. Oh, that was so I'm going to make it honest, but I went out of her. Don't worry. And then as soon as the camp when he was over, he was fucking out of there in respect of the Palins for really

being those pieces of shit. Those kids are never going to sit well friends. You imagine now. Can you imagine them at Yale? Like can you like they can't hold it? They're never going to work at Goldman Sachs. No, and they like they're going to said they're going to they're going to sell RVs. They're going to illegally somehow. They're going to try to put track Palin in like the Skolen Bones initiation ceremony and he's going to be like on Instagram live. Yo, what's up? Yo, I can't believe this shit. This is awesome. They want me to jack off. That's kind of gay though. Well, I like stop. Turn it off. Well, that would be amazing. Michael Hudson would become the number one like a journalist of politics in the country.

Yeah, he would finally people that could decode their ways. Yeah, he would be the he would replace Mark Albright, which is what he did. But again, most importantly, Sarah Palins failed children. Unlike, you know, John McCain or Bill Clinton's will will be safe from whatever depredations they will inflict on the US state. We are not safe from Chelsea Clinton and Megan McCain. No, they're coming for us. They're coming for all of us. I mean, I have to say Megan McCain. I Chelsea Clinton is just she's just a dummy. That's it. She's just a dummy and it's like her main function seems to be writing books like children. She doesn't seem to have a lot of ambition. No, she has no ambition. I feel better about she just wants to write

books called like the kids guide to resisting and like, you know, she'll get insulted by like, you know, MAGA Pete 1953, who's like, I'm going to kill you, you stupid bitch. And she does this very student government thing where she quotes them and goes, actually, a bitch is a female dog. And most working dogs are very smart. And people are like, that was classy, Chelsea. And I don't, I mean, she's been called ugly since she was a child by like major media figures. I think she's like, I'm pretty comfortable with the fact that she's going to kind of try to stay out of her hair. That doesn't mean that the Democratic Party isn't going to try and draft her.

But she's like more of a sympathetic character to me than Megan McCain, who is just like, she was when she was born, she called the manager of the doctor that delivered her. She is just, oh my God, what a fucking tyrant. You can tell you can fucking tell the way she milked. She basically rung her hands around her dad's spongy tumor for about six fucking months and just rung all the sympathy out of us, demanding people apologize for being mean to her dad. Fuck you. I am just so what a fucking entire, why is she, why is she having a career? She's kind of like a divine character from a John Lauders movie.

She's dummy thick and just dummy. I mean, I'm still thinking about that thing. You know, people keep posting this as a pro or con about McCain. And we even write about in a book is that rally where, you know, this swine woman comes up and, you know, it's, oh, I heard Obama's an Arab and her are these bad things. And he's, he's, he's, he's an Arab. Yeah. She like, well, what I love about that clip is that that woman, like, she felt because she was on camera and had a mic in front of her. She knew, she knew like what she was saying wasn't right. So she kind of like mumbled it. She sort of like stopped herself a little bit and then it just sort of like stopped and paused and then started again. And we've all been there. He's an Arab, you know, he just sort of spit it out real quick. And then he's like, no, ma'am, no, no, ma'am, he's, he's, he's a decent person.

And then Dr. Deseem Taleb descended from the ceiling and said, you imbecile. Deseem Taleb came down in the fan man rank into the stadium. Just carrying like a CV estrus seed of haplogroups. You absolute imbecile. And I see some people defending McCain there and saying, look, look, look, I was there at the campaign. I was there with our rally. Here's like the real deal. So McCain was acutely familiar. The campaign knew that their supporters believed that Barack Obama was a scary Muslim. So they had to, they knew they had to head that off in the past. And, you know, why these media types of these liberals, the eccentrics, whenever I see them ring their hands and wonder, you know, what happened to the Republican Party, 90% approval rating for Trump. The assumption there is that Donald Trump cast some spell over, over what was fundamentally a decent chunk of the populace.

And that's never been the case in 2008, McCain's over the summer or 2007, rather, over the summer McCain's campaign imploded and really didn't look like he was going to get the nomination. And the two things that really hamstrung him were, one, his opposition to torture, where he was, you know, getting booed on, on, at debates for that. And two was because he signed on for amnesty. He signed on for this, the Aborted Immigration Reform in 2006. Shamnesty. Shamnesty, 2005, 2006, which really, really riled him up. And the only way that he could inject any kind of passion into his campaign, any kind of enthusiasm, was by one, appointing Sarah Palin. And two, I mean, winking at what is fundamentally a, and has always been a white nationalist base of the Republican Party. And two years after that, when he was being challenged in a primary, and he was really fighting for his life there, against some disgraced former congressman who was doing infomercials.

J.D. Hayworth. J.D. Hayworth. Yeah, I remember that guy. That big boy. Oh man, he had a big ass head. McCain. He looked like a drunk weatherman. McCain had to debase himself by playing to the Joe Arpaio base in the Arizona Republican Party, and he was going on TV and saying, well, I think we need to build the damn fence.

Complete the damn fence. That was in his campaign ads. So you get to pick one here. One, he's actually a decent man who's just pandering and lying to his stakeholders who are bigots. Or two, he really believes that. Either way, he's not an avatar for fucking a way of doing politics that's honorable. No, there's no dignity in either way. No. And that's what I mean when I say the problem isn't Trump.

The problem is, and has always been, the Republican Party. When was the last time the Republican Party were the good guys? The Civil War. Probably the Civil War. Yeah. Like literally, right? Oh, my friend Dinesh made a movie about this. The party was over after the compromise of 1876.

Okay. 77. 77. So, wait, actually, Teddy epic bacon Roosevelt. Roosevelt is like, he was sort of the first McCain because he was just a fucking irritating, imperialist, blowhard dickhead. Oh, totally. But he was epic. They were also, he would write these really self and he had like an emo period because that's what like an adventurous like man of letters did at the time.

Like they fashioned themselves in the sense of these like British or Norwegian explorers. So you do a lot of correspondence and he was just such a whiny bitch. Like he would just write, write these like long self indulgent, just like bad letter. Like if you, you've read it before because we live in New York and there is a guy who you know who wrote a novel about a white rapper. You're familiar with the cadence of it. I totally recommend reading Teddy Roosevelt's correspondence. He's a complete whiny bitch. Have I said on the show before, Gorva doll is great line about Teddy Roosevelt.

I'm going to say it again. Give a sissy a gun and he'll kill everything inside to thinking about it. They were kind of less racist. They were kind of less actively beholden to the KKK in the 1920s. So maybe you can make the case 1920s. Maybe I would like to, I'd like to transition to some of my favorite media reactions to John McCain's passing that have annoyed the shit out of me. And I'm going to begin with Olivia Nuzzle, who had a great tweet the other day where she basically said, Hey, it's not cool or edgy to like, you know, talk bad about John McCain. You're not Christopher Hitchens.

You're just an asshole. Matt, as you rightly pointed out, the categories asshole and Christopher Hitchens, not exactly mutually exclusive. Yeah. But I mean, if anyone's edgy or cool, it's Olivia Nuzzy, right? Yeah. It's this woman who is just born wanting to be on the New York Times editorial massed head who fucking will just do perform any transactional relationship with fucking anybody for anything. Here's what I think about this. Apparently, Olivia is friends with Megan McCain.

So obviously, if you're friends with someone. What a shock. You know, if you're, you know, obviously friendships often do take precedence over, you know, abstract political principles. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Here's the thing, Olivia. Maybe someone who has not been so well established as being quite also chummy with Milo Yiannopoulos and Ann Coulter should maybe pipe down a little bit about other people being mean to others publicly. And here's the other thing. When I say fuck John McCain, I'm not being, I'm not being edgy.

I'm not trying to be cool. I'm being 100% sincere. Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely sincere in that, like, I think he was a bad person who had a, you know, poisonous effect on the world we live in has caused untold suffering of, you know, countless others as we've related before. Again, this is sincerity. And I'm sorry, I'm not going to put up with this phony national bathos in mourning. I'm not going to take part in it.

Awful, terrible man who made the world a worse place by far. And if you, and pointing it out has, it's not just getting likes or tweets. It's not just being edgy or doing like Helen Keller jokes in high school or something. What you're doing is you're pointing out this is, if this is the model of the American politician, according to mainstream political discourse, the mainstream media, mainstream members of both parties, and he's this much of a rancid piece of shit. Then that tells you what their ideas of what the fucking politics are actually mean. Well, it's just, it's the way this is the American media, just the language falls apart for them. It completely falls apart. You know, the edgiest, the edgy thing to do is to talk about the implication of this career criminals, foreign policy choices and domestic policy.

That's edgy. That's opian anthony. You guys are bros, sorry for the biggest fucking nerds I've ever met in my life, are bros. Everything, everything is a bully to me. This is just, these are just like transactional worms who have like wanted to be inside, like on the inside of a social circle forever and all their resentments just sort of fucking shoot. It's like a guy doing nofap, cutting himself, shaving and just come shooting out anytime that they, anytime that like they have any disagreement with somebody, any interaction with someone who isn't like them, someone who hasn't wanted this since they were fucking 12. It just comes out, it comes out their lack of socialization, their, their complete alienation from the normal world that everything I don't like is, it's a bro, it's edgy. It's, it's shock, jockery.

It's just completely alien to anyone else. These people are fucking freaks. She brought up, she brought up Christopher Hitchens, you know, who, who shit on a lot of dead people. He was quite good at that. Pat Robertson among the best or Falwell knows Falwell. He had a great media hit for, he was rude and mean to a lot of people who died. But then again, it was also funny as hell when Christopher Hitchens died. I'm sorry.

Christopher Hitchens would be fine with people laughing at his death. Yeah. Here's the thing. I'm sorry. Every one of these Iraq's war supporters, when they, I'm not saying kill them, but I'm saying when an 80 plus year old man dies of cancer, that's sort of like, that's just nature taking its course. Christopher Hitchens was a drunk who smoked 10 packs of cigarettes a day his entire life. And dying is not some huge fucking tragedy. When every single one of these Iraq war supporters, these fucking ghouls dies for whatever reason, it's funny and good and the world is a better place.

Next, Ross Douthit. Oh. Ross Douthit had a really funny one. Ross the boss. He was going on and he said, he says here, I also can't condemn McKay. It's a long thread with his, he's sharing his thoughts on McKay. And he goes, I also can't condemn McKay's choice of Palin in 2008 because I sort of urged it upon him at the time. No.

She was, she was, she was chosen. She was chosen. I like how he owns that. Well, she goes for you, Ross. Actually, I gotta say, like Ross has sort of grown on me in a way is like one of these, I think he's a little bit more honest than most of these other media. Ross is at least, I'm also enjoying the later Orson Welles style Douthit. Oh, the Palin. Ross is at least like a character.

He at least has their like, he has a personality. Like I pretty much know everyone else you're going to have on this list. And it just, they just all like their personality is being like, Yeah, Nazi has no personality. She's just a chin. Their personality is just being like, oh, it's Wednesday and I've had three beers, fake news, like just so depressing. But Ross like wrote this entire book where he's a cursed child. He was a cursed Damien child and he goes to Yale and freaks out when he doesn't have to wear a car.

Oh, yeah, they went on the road trip. Or Harvard. What he said Harvard and like he doesn't have to put on a condom. He gets molested by William Buckley. There's like, it's like the movie sideways. There's so much going on. But the rest of the people on this list, they're just, just the lowest. Like they're lower like chivers have significantly more personality than any of these fucking

I'm not drinking any of Buckley's cunt. Getting my ass fingered on a yacht. That's just fucking great. I can't condemn McCain just to fail me because I sort of urged it upon him at the time. She was chosen to be something other than what she turned out to be on the basis of a record that implied strengths. She turned out to lack. She was a governor of like a state that's just a fucking oil pipeline and just the world's largest TGI Fridays. And you're going to fuck it for two years.

And you're like, yep, she's going to do it. Yeah, the state of Alaska has like a naturally occurring Avengers flat brim hat on top of it. The best thing to be said about McCain's record is that he took being a senator seriously. He appreciated the powers of his office. What does that mean? He sat behind his desk. Yeah, he went like choo choo. It's like, what is it like?

Were there just like a but are there like 90 other senators who just fuck off senators who are just like, oh, damn, I forgot to go to work today. The charade Brown shows up in board shorts. Going down the halls of the Senate on a long board. Oh, dude, I've accidentally been going to the agriculture building for seven years. Fuck, I'm up for reelection. I forgot. He goes, he appreciated the powers of his office and tried to exploit them to the hilt for his conception of the common good. Not something you can say of some many of his colleagues.

And he goes, he goes on to go, I cannot find the link, but Ramesh Ponirou wrote a piece back in 2007, 2008 about McCain's politics of honor. That I think was one of the best measures of the man. He was our most Roman legislator for good. I mean, I think his record shows became probably would have loved to have owned slaves if they'd given him the option. But I have agent Napoleon pointed this out actually calling him our most Roman senator is actually very befitting of him. Son of a big military man who, you know, took that position seriously to also engage in imperial warfare, slaughtering and so forth. You know, took that position seriously to also engage in imperial warfare, slaughtering entire populations of people who are, you know, resisting our giant imperial death machine. To bring Cathay under our heel.

Didn't do a very good job of even doing that, if we're going to be honest. He saw shit at that. And then, you know, went into a career in politics where he talked endlessly about honor and service, but basically only was motivated by self aggrandizement. Yep. So that sounds pretty pretty Roman to me. Also, we got that Emperor Vatilius neckwaddle. That's rust out that my last of my favorite McCain death reactions is sort of I'm going to cut the opposite way. Did you guys see Ben Garrison's cartoon?

I didn't see it. Okay. You are in for a treat. Show her. Then we'll describe it to the audience. You have to just see it. It's really weird that this is anywhere other than DeviantArt. Like, it's strange to me what becomes successful in this kind of obviously weird sexual fantasy.

The whole world is kind of a big DeviantArt at this point. No, no, DeviantArt has bled into the real world and the process word is just the process of the DeviantArtification of the entire world. Amber, would you describe this cartoon? Okay. Okay. So he's in a plane that is going into a grave that is Senator Songbird McCain is how it is engraved. His head is exploding so high, which I don't know if they meant that to be a literal reference to his cause of death or what. I think it is.

What is he saying though? He's saying go to hell. He's very angry. He's trying to sort of portray him as, you know, like a slim pick and steam is coming out of his ear. It's a giant head that is exploding and on fire in a jet plane flying into an open grave. That's what I could draw. I wish it like that's awesome. Ben Garrison thinks cancer looks like when you open someone up.

It's like Goya to me. It's beautiful. It's so weird how a political movement that is able to fucking identify its own enemies and appropriately hate them is more successful than one that seems to not even know what that means. Oh my God. You know what? Ben Garrison fueled surprise. You know what? They're talking to the New York Times in the Atlantic.

This is like Art Spiegelman. The New York Times in the Atlantic, like if they want to actually represent conservative voices, just give half the op-ed space to a Ben Garrison cartoon. Just give him that job because no one in America believes what Brett Stevens believes are any of these people. Ben Garrison represents millions of people. No, there's a third of the country that is completely on board with all of Ben Garrison's Q and on white nationalism. Again, this is what real conservatives think about John McCain. This is how they regard him. If they have no respect for him, there's no reason for you to either.

We're better than them, sir. Amber, I just thought you said it's like Art Spiegelman. I'm now imagining Ben Garrison's mouse, but all the mice just have Jew written on them. And the cats have not German. I mean, do you guys own any other favorite media reactions to John McCain? We already talked about the Anna Navarro one. That one was top notch. Anna Navarro has to be one of the worst posters of all time.

It's like she's an auteur because she just always comes up with... Me and my friends spend a lot of time trying to make each other vomit, basically, with fake posts and stuff. Where's Ernest? Ernest, come here. Poor buddy. But Anna Navarro just always, didn't she have the one where she took her 23 and me and she was like 0.04% African? And she was like, I knew I was a sister and it was like, because I hate Trump. And it was like, oh my God, like fucking don't just delete this.

Let's just wipe out the servers. Anna Navarro, Anna Navarro. I may not be a classic 80s side scrolling action arcade game, but I spent a lot of time playing Contra. Yeah, it's... I mean, I'm not going to lie. It was Bummer seeing Bernie Sanders and AOC do the thing. Yeah, but the thing is, people say, yeah, you got to say something. You can't shitpost if you're in Congress as much as I'd love it.

But like, you don't have to go that far. You don't have to call a paragon of human decency. You really fucking don't. No one in your district is going to punish you for saying that. We're not saying anything at all about this fucking thing. You could not say something. Sometimes you just don't have to say anything. I just think I got thoughts and prayers or whatever.

Everyone gets away with that all the time. Everyone gets away with that. Like Trump had a less discussed. He had the least nauseating political tweet about this asshole, where he's just like, thoughts and prayers with the family. All you got to do is put a picture of his own hot body to make up for it. I don't know if you guys saw... Here are my favorite reactions then.

This is generic. One, it's all the liberals who posted about, oh, what a hero he was and how decent honorable the man was. And then the next day, after this horrible shooting happened in Jacksonville, just start posting, you know, hashtag fuck the NRA. We're going to do it this time. We're going to get rid of the guns. You know, just what a day. Hence they're praising the center who took what?

The most from the NRA upwards of $12 million. You guys, Anna Navarro has a lot of John McCain tweets. Oh, she loved him. Like a lot of them. This one is just, dear Cindy McCain, a grief-stricken nation. Thanks you and your family for sacrificing your own time for him and sharing John McCain with the rest of us. She thinks America is the third. It's the polycule.

It's a 320 million person polycule. The whole team going to hit. I guarantee you that Cindy McCain loved it every time that asshole left the fucking house. He's on record as just being a fucking cruel prick to her. Oh my God. Do you think anyone has ever wiped off as much flop sweat? No, actually, she probably got the bowtie so she can't like sweat in her forehead. Yeah, but then Cindy McCain after John died, like Jesus Christ, dude.

She's going to go. She's going to eat prey. Love her way around the world. Oh yeah. And good luck, sister. Have fun. What a family. What a fucking family.

And we're stuck with them forever. Oh yeah. Hope you guys like him. I'm suing the troop McCain like his his son that like volunteered for a rock and somehow didn't like crash his Bradley fighting vehicle into an bottomless pit where he's going to come back. He's going to have Megan and Ben Domino are going to hatch some cursed egg using DNA wizardry and create some immortal monster that's in the Senate

for the rest of eternity. They're going to create the ultimate wedding crashers conservative. They're going to create this child who's born like dabbing for the deficit. It's going to be the worst shit ever. They'd have to have sex first. He's going to come out with a shiny bow cut. No, I mean, I nominate Megan to fill her dad's seat. That's going to rule when she votes for some bill to convert the poor into slurry.

And everyone gets mad at her and she says, like, my dad died. And my God tells me that I'm doing the right thing here. You cannot criticize me. And all the fucking suckers like Joe Walsh are going to sign on to it. You talk about all the suckers are going to lap it up. I want to I want to return to where we began, which is my question is, why are all these liberals so tore up about this? Why are they having this performative thing of, you know, he was a good man,

even if I didn't agree with him politically. And I just my advice for them is, you know, he certainly didn't like or respect you. There's not a single person in the conservative media who would extend you or any of your faves the same level of decency. If Obama dropped dead tomorrow, there's not a single person in the right wing press or politics who would wait even a second before they started gloating or critiquing his legacy at the very least. I'll just go back to their old bits for Ted Kennedy.

Yeah, old bits for Ted Kennedy. Or, you know, if if Bernie Sanders died tomorrow and all these same people, all of the centrists, all the right wing people would take a big shit all over him. And you know what, I will be the last person to say how dare you or don't do that. Or that's not fair. I would expect nothing less than that. I'd be fucking disappointed if they started talking about what a good and decent person he was. That means he wasn't a fucking threat to them.

Say who you really are. If I see you respecting Bernie Sanders after he died, I'm going to be right there first reply under your tweet going, this ain't it, chief. That's a yikes for me. It's a big yikes for me, fam. So I guess like my advice for them or advice or just my message to them at the end of the show is free yourself from this high school play pageantry of politics.

As Matt has said many times before, we live in the age of horror. Everything is permitted. Nothing is forbidden. Absolutely. They hate you and they would never extend you the same courtesy. And this idea that what they're going and what they're going for with this is they don't really like John McCain. They don't really like this person. If they ever met him, I'm sure they would be rude to them.

They'd be terrified of him. What they're doing is they want this. They think they're going to cash out if they just do enough performance of dignity and virtue that the other side will finally respect them. No, they won't. You collect those fucking tokens at the game and then you go and you get a big stuffed animal called a comedy audience. You collect the tokens. You collect the tickets. You use the tokens to play the game. You get a big stuffed animal at the end of it that reassures you that, you know what, we're better than them.

No, you're not. You're not better than them. You're weaker than them because you have no power. If you did, you wouldn't be bleeding on about how unfair it is to be mean to him or what a good man he was. If you had power like they do, you would say and do what you want and you would make sure that the historical record reflected what you actually believed. You wouldn't believe it. You don't really believe in any of this. You're just doing, like I said, a high school play of what you think a smart political person should do. Well, and they think that someday, if they simper long enough, they will be rewarded. Yeah, they think that eventually they'll like the the massive people will see the one side being so awful and so, so partisan and so small minded.

And they'll see the other side being always so reasonable and always willing to send a hand and then be like, not just by the public. They think their enemies will someday respect them rolling over and showing their bellies. It's it's Rick Prostin said this, it's the liberal fantasy, the liberal crucible fantasy of the last 70 years is the fucking 12 angry men. It's Henry Fon and 12 angry men being the one voice of reason and logic and compassion and a room full of people riven by prejudice and small mindedness and greed who over just by being decent by being decent over and over again eventually turns them all to your side. And it's has never literally once worked for anyone. Yeah, you will never grovel your way into being respected. Get off your knees. Like I said, you'll feel better. It's much fun. It's great.

Just like I said, you're frag out. You're free. But this is another one where you could just sort of divide the people the people who take this shit seriously. It's like, yes, they have this fantasy of comedy in their head and this delusion that they can use. They can politeness their way into power and respect, but also at base a lot of them. They don't have a problem with the John McCain view of the world. They don't have a problem with conservative governance. They just wanted to have a a sheen of compassion over it a sheen of bipartisan cooperation. The fantasy that these are people in operating out of good intentions for the betterment of all instead of just this endlessly humiliating and dehumanizing capitalist process of stripping everything of all dignity and meaning until we're just fucking slurry.

Right. And so that that, you know, thing for them, McCain often voted for Trump's agenda and he was sort of pretty much ideologically in line with them. That just doesn't process for a lot of them because it's like McCain and Trump are the two polar opposites for them because it's how politics feels to them with Trump. It feels worse with McCain. At least it feels like they can live the rest of their lives when really their lives are totally unaffected. They could just read the news less if they want to feel less bad, even though the same outcome had McCain one. These are people that like beat off to the Western front Christmas ceasefire. That was a success. That's what success is. I mean, the Christmas truce would have been cool if when their officers showed up and said get back in the trenches, they'd fucking shot them. Well, let's leave it there for this week. One little postscript, no matter who it is, Cindy, Megan, Joe Arpaio, Kelly Ward, because John McCain didn't have the foresight to resign his seat when his, you know, brain was pretty much half mush at that point.

An unelected Republican will be sitting in that seat till 2020 and will vote for all of Trump's agenda. Blue Wave. Congratulations. Again, last, last thoughts. Prayers up for a real one. Bless up. Stay blessed. Extra prayers for all the people out there hating. One last thing. MMA still going strong. John McCain in the fucking ground. Final, final. Here's the one last virtuous thing we have to do on this show. In honor of John McCain, just a reminder, we are going on tour after Labor Day. Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Philadelphia, Portland, Maine, Boston, Hampton, Connecticut, Pawtucket, Rhode Island, and Brooklyn, New York. Tickets for some of these cities are close to selling out. So get them now. Washington DC and Baltimore. We will be in you next week.

I have my gaming laptop. If any of you have desktops, you want to let me use or just give me, just let me know. Hit me up. Until next time, guys. I would be very humbled. Bye. Oh no, I'm crashing. Bye. How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Everything I would do, you were standing there by my side.

And now you're gonna be with me for the last ride. It's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.