Chapo Trap House - Episode 250 - Big Dickinson Energy feat. Alena Smith (10/1/18)

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

We're joined by showrunner Alena Smith to make wild, baseless assertions about Gen X and their place in American society and culture. We then turn to the New York Times' Frank Bruni to digest a delectable morsel of news: the possible 2020 democratic candidacy of elfin billionaire Mike Bloomberg. Tickets on sale for our midwest tour, starting just next week: chapotraphouse.com/tour 2nd SHOW ADDED for Minneapolis: https://twitter.com/chapotraphouse/status/1046055363559215104?s=21

Hello friends, it's your choppo for this week. It's me will Menaker back again And I think I'll kick off this episode by reminding you that next week We will be headed to the Midwest of the United States So if you are in Pittsburgh on October 7th Come see us at Mr. Smalls if you are in Columbus on October 10th Come to the Athenium Theater to see us live on stage with Brett and Brian Street fight Columbus legends If you were in Detroit October 11th at the Majestic Theater in Chicago at the House of Blues on October 14th Madison, Wisconsin at the Barrymore Theater on October 16th

And if you were in Minneapolis on the 18th the Cedar Cultural Center, we have just added a second early show So if you want to buy tickets for a Minneapolis show, but they're sold out go to choppo trap house comm slash Tour to buy tickets for our newly added early show in Minneapolis Again, all these tour tickets are available at choppo trap house comm slash tour Okay, let's start the show. Hey everybody Like I said, choppo, we're here. We're here for you. We're here with you as we are all the time We're coming off two and one in particular absolutely

Soul destroying up so so I think we're gonna take a bit of a break We're not gonna talk Supreme Court anymore. We've done about as much Brett Kavanaugh as I can stomach for one lifetime And a little bit we'll be having fun at the expense of Frank Bruni and Michael Bloomberg But I'd be remiss if I didn't introduce our guests for this week. It is Playwright screenwriter and now showrunner, but most importantly friend of the pod Elena Smith Elena, how are you doing? Very well? So happy to be here You're here with me. Also Felix. Hello Amber. Hi and Matt. Hey, they're both back folks So everyone was saying where's where's Emperor Matt? Where's Emperor Matt?

I'm here. This episode is for you trouble your hearts no more. So like I said, we're we're gonna have a little fun this episode And why don't we kick things off by engaging in some utterly baseless Unsourced and spurious Intergenerational sociological research. Let's get this generational fight going boom Elena What's the deal with Gen X and what is their problem? I love that question and and I agree it with with not talking about Brett Kavanaugh But I will only provide the one segue being that Brett Kavanaugh is Gen X

You know, of course his good friend Mark judge wrote the book wasted tales of a Gen X drunk Which has say more shoved to Gen X back into our faces and made us all think about what does it mean to be Gen X? He's basically Stephen Dorff from SFW Now those not aware Gen X refers to the generation that followed the baby boomers baby boomers and preceded Millennials the curse so it basically stretches from about the 60s until 1980 It's 1960 to 1980 and I think that the term Generation X was coined by Douglas Copeland Yes, in his book Generation X But it's just funny because he picked the third to last letter of the alphabet

So like he started it off there and that's why no one knows what happens now Well, I mean we've already gone through Y and Z and yeah generation Y refers to millennials It's supposed to be Millennials and now like the people the people didn't stick the people who are after Millennials are Gen Z Gen Z which I think is actually very fitting because they will be the last generation They're perfect. Yeah, this Copeland knew that the world was only gonna last two more generations That's why he started with X. I think to get the story started. We have to start with the modern generations Using modern in the academic context the greatest generation the generation of World War two These were all

pill-popping psychos who got their brains ruined by Great Depression War George Licker from Ren and Stimpy. Yes, they Spend their form what most formative young years, you know Eating dried out rats and fighting in the trenches of the Pacific and Western Europe when they came home They wanted their kids to have a better life than they could but they had no way to express themselves So they would just not talk to their young boomer children For months at a time then come into their rooms at night sobbing their eyes out saying that they're beautiful No one could ever say no to them because they remembered their friend getting killed or something or their dog

They're they're their younger brother being sold to a farmer and the boomers having no access to Like things all of the greatest generation were like traveling carnies. They were that was basically you every really You're also skipping well after between the greatest generation and the boomers is the generation that no one knows what it is Carney was the YouTube star of the exactly so boomers grew up with this psychotic sense of Entitlement but a complete emotional stuntedness from their alcoholic and morose parents This manifested in an utter terrorization of service workers throughout the ages that was made possible by their Unnaturally high wages and wealth that has not been enjoyed by a generation thereafter The children of the boomers the immediate children of the boomers the Gen Xers wait

I thought the millennials were the children of the boomers No, it's gen X gen X. Yeah What's it? My parents are my parents. I'm millennial my parents are boomer are boomers, but most people breed younger I'm all my parents. I'm all right. I'm older Felix Well, this is why talking about generations is like fundamentally class Jewish and that's how they do well I'm doing it for the most people most Jews have their first kids at the average age of 63 Yeah, it's makes a lot more sense to give your life figured out then you only get a few of the few of a lot of birth defects But so it's why Felix is so great

That and just like you know in breeding hundreds of years ago. Okay. Yeah, you know, it's fine So, but but it brings us to gen X gen X. No matter who spawned them. They're here and we have to deal with them Gen X will soon be on the Supreme Court gen X have a lot of the psychotic Entitlement that boomers have like a lot of it But they know enough that they should feel bad about it But they have enough boomer in them to never do anything about it Just believing that feeling bad is its own punishment which makes them more than boomers the most American generation Well, okay, so I was thinking about gen X today because I knew that we were gonna talk about gen X

And I didn't have that many interesting thoughts but but I did think first of all that gen X are they're like they're the youngest old people like that's the thing about them because They they come about and they're known for being like alternative and slackers and sort of like they're not boomers They're younger and cooler than boomers But then all the things that defined them as cool Immediately disappeared and like technology moved on and now they just don't belong in the world again But from the other way, right? I think that boomers and the gen Xers It's almost like the tortoise and the hare because you see the book the boomers all grew up

They were in gangs, but the game. They were gangs of white people that sang songs They all listened to songs by like Joey popsicle stick called oh, sweetie, baby. Let's let's go to the train tracks There were all songs about how at least a third of your high school class died in auto accident exactly They you know, they had their first kid at age 17 when they fucked their sweetheart in a big car And they made the equivalent of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year mining a candy store So but so it's like they wouldn't seem cool compared to the gen Xers who his kids You know tied flannel shirts around their waist awesome Yeah, so but but as time goes on as time goes on who is taking that down technology better boomers

Because they're so entitled that they caught up and now look at what a boomer does online. They're anti-mod So I think when I think of any kind of and obviously this is completely baseless Totally baseless Fucking email us. I love my mother email the character kind of case study that I look at for Gen X is reality bites as

the first sign of rapidly diminishing expectations, right because You can either have Ethan hawk or Ben Stiller and those are the only two guys Apparently those are the only two guys and they both suck. Yeah, and that's basically when they started say, okay The world is not your oyster. You got to pick one of these terrible two choices It's it's the fault. It's the post Fukuyama view of romance Well, yeah, and compare that to the end of history the end of romance Compared to the equivalent boomer film, which is the graduate where a guy gets everything he wants

But also this is another thing about about Gen X is that and reality bites is the perfect example because it's like Okay, reality bites. It's cool. They're saying they're using slang to talk about reality They're being like somewhat meta things are in quotes. They're sort of they're sort of disaffected and yet it's completely heteronormative It's completely on white. He's gay What's what happens to him? He has to yeah Yeah, but there is like a brief moment of his like coming out story and then they're like, ah, you're not that important What happens to see John in that movie? Focus is heavily on the most narcissistic

They're not yeah, like you don't hear as much about Janine Garoflo. Remember when she got Winona writer a job at the gap And she's like, I'm not gonna work at the gap and it's like, oh, okay So this is the other massively Gen X thing is the obsession with selling out, right? That's that's what defines them is like they don't want to sell out but They also define themselves by a series of like cultural jobs that no longer exist in any form for anyone to get paid doing like such as Magazines getting paid to be part of a magazine is just not even a thing anymore Right and also the idea that they're too good for a real job when in fact we all here as most of us

Millennials or at least straddlers know that the only reason we have this job is because we're too bad for real jobs Gen X gen Xers be like Gen Xers be like damn can't wait to become a travel agent in 2018 Well, that's I think what's so sad right like I feel that the Gen X figure is like at this point right now It's just a truly lost soul because like the boomers They've had their fun, you know Like they they they really did rule the world and continue to rule the world and they've like Sucked it dry and eaten everything off the bone and like fully

Exhausted their appetites upon this earth But like Gen Xers never came into their own and then now it's just moved on without them like their first decline in Kind of what you could expect in the expectations of youth There their parents thought oh we could rebuild the world and they're thinking oh the world is shit and We're definitely not going to rebuild it But maybe I can have like a little like a little piece of something pure and authentic or obsessed with authenticity Yeah, and now they don't understand young people because young people don't even have a concept of that

I remember asking When I taught like my students like if they if I thought something was real or not or if it mattered because some author had you know like Embellished their life story or whatever Or no, I think I was teaching like honours Thompson or whatever I'm like so this part is kind of made up and like honours Thompson did that a lot I'm like do you think that matters and they were like no That's so

You would not get that response. I think from Gen Xers. Yeah, no, yeah, you're right authenticity is what matters They're very awkward about social media. Yeah, because it all is very the whole internet culture is so Brazenly and intentionally false. Yes on its face that that's like It's also brazenly like looking for Um for attention. There's no shame about that and that's like a deeply like anti Concept because you're supposed to wear your flannel shirt and like stand in the corner of the room and not care The patron saint Kurt Cobain, right? It's like I'm famous, but I hate it stop looking at me, right

You know, I mean another thing that I've noticed about Gen X and I guess this is the the story of all generations Basically like similar to the way Baby boomers who went to Woodstock and followed the dead around all became Reagan voters. Yeah, you know Like I think of that John Mackie Whole Foods asshole. Yes, exactly, you know and like with Gen X I feel like there's a similar right word You know drift with a lot of these people in that like again They think that they're authentic and cool and then like at some point in there, you know mid 30s knock on wood from saying that for myself They stopped being cool and relating to kids and like they weren't the cool rock and roll guy that they fantasized about as a kid

and they got very angry and bitter as a result of that and Look no further than Bart O'Kavanaugh and Judge Holden Yeah, and Brett and Brett Kavanaugh talked about fast times at Ridgemont High like in his testimony and Like he talked about that as like we would have fun We would watch fast times at Ridgemont High, but the thing is that if you go and watch that movie or any 80s movie that these teenagers are watching like They're they're they're unbelievably like racist and misogynist film. So it's it's sort of like fake I don't know the idea of I don't know you brought up fast times at Ridgemont Hi, Amber you brought up that there is an abortion in that movie

Did he just not see that part? But not only is there an abortion in that movie that she gets it just Jennifer Jason Lee gets an abortion and it's fine And it was the right decision. Yeah, she was like stressed because whoops, that's interesting But yeah, it was like kind of I think people just remember Spicoli, but there was a whole abortion thing Yeah, hmm hard to say what will become of us Millennials, you know, I just I hope we can avoid The similar but Millennials are also wiped out by Gen Z We deserve it. No, no, we are we are a cancer on this culture. I want Gen Z to issue a great cleansing wrath I also don't know what we mean by Millennials anyway

Like there's there's different kinds of Millennials and like I was born in 1980 So I just am the cusp of Gen X and Millennial, but I identify more. Well, once I heard the term exennial I really felt seen But like I think we should divide Millennials Millennials are already old I think we should divide Millennials between the people who identify With the Golden Age of the Simpsons and watched it while it was on TV Yes, and those and those who liked South Park and Family Guy. Yeah, that makes the split Coorts of Millennials. Yes. However, I just said I wasn't gonna become a reactionary, but I 100% disagree with Felix

These Gen Z weirdos are all glowing. I'd psych of that And I want nothing to do good. All they do is play murder simulators All that they want the internet they they want to return to when we were truly great They want to return to the internet being mean again. They want blood back in video games. They want farts back in movies Millennials are just a younger type of Gen X A very Gen X thing is that there was once I think a PBS special called cool hunting that was hosted by Douglas Copeland and It was about the way that before the internet People in advertising had to go on the hunt for cool

And there was like there was like studies of how something that was trending in New York would only show up in Austin Like five years later because that's how long it took to get on like the Pony Express like one trend from the city to another Thomas Frank wrote about this with the conquest of cool, too But but now there is no cool, right? Well, how could you talk about this with the friends of mine? Who also grew up in like, you know fly over America and one of my friend Jen shouted to Jen pan Like said I went back to Idaho and she's like and all the girls look like NYU students She's like there's no like it's all homogenized. That's right because of the internet That's right. She's like and it's a little sad from what the only thing I can gather from what I've observed is that cool is

Murdering your friend on Instagram live That's what I'm saying like I'm searching I'm searching for what could give that sense of danger I think I think Gen Xers did have authentically things that were dangerous because you still had yeah like heroin. Yes Got out of hand No, I mean like so like yeah Gen Xers like the first generation associated with a kind of ironic detachment and kind of like an alienated Indie sensibility. Yes, but I think now that they've all gone into middle-aged They've like I said, they've become care-lord reactionaries who are like

I don't know got religion or care or lament the fact that there's no sincerity anymore We're talking about though Although there was also some kind of aloof standoffish element to the ideal Gen X male too And we're obviously we're talking about like like white middle-class like the people who are supposed to represent the generation and male Like it's always a shaggy white male. That's what a Gen Xer is Yeah, but actually one of the things that I think we were kind of missing for a while that is sort of now coming back is And it went into cynicism, but at the time I think it was a healthy skepticism and it was like oh people are trying to sell you things and

They're not your friends companies are not your friends brands are not your friends the woke advertising Should have died in its crib But I think the kind of like retirement of that idea and maybe the fact that people just got so sick of its Ultimate conclusion, which is this ad buster sanctimony is that they'd left it all behind But really that is something we could use more of it's just like no This this company is not my friend. They're not anti-racist. They're not feminist. They're a company They're selling a product. Nothing makes me sicker than when I see a fucking fast food chain Talk about depression. Shut the fuck up. No, but shut the fuck up

My god, bring me back to singing rats from Advertising but see here's the thing advertising doesn't work anymore and as a result Where and also there's no there's been a complete breakdown of like the centralized entertainment industry And so I'm telling you right now that like within five to ten years all we will be watching the only content The only shows available to us will be like Nike soap opera, right and and I don't even know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing because there have always been patrons of art and Art needs patrons to exist and like I'm not saying that those shows are gonna effectively sell Nikes

I just think it's gonna be you know It's like everyone who works in advertising actually wants to be an artist and everyone who's an artist needs to get paid So the ultimate, you know, but it but again, it's that that like total, you know Obsolescence of the notion of selling out like there there's no such there's no division anymore between we just are brands Yeah, all of us, but that's what happened. This is that as that Ambrose right is that there was that Instinctive hostility to advertisers and brands and then that went away now. It's gone Because it was a dead end because it's like, all right Yeah, it also got co-opted it got co-opted by by advertising itself

Yeah anti advertising became the new right new advertising. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this on the show before But could I just say again my single favorite spread in ad busters magazine that I've ever seen it was like a two page spread and on one side was just like all the like logos of popular brands like the Nike swoosh or like the Coca-Cola symbol or, you know, you know, the well-known advertising logos And on the other page, it was just outlines of different kinds of leaves and the copy at the bottom said There's something wrong when you can recognize everything on this side and nothing on the other Busters was so Okay, there's still selling it the only good magazine

Because it was the Fukuyama era and it was like well, I guess capitalism won so instead I guess we'll be anti-consumerist Yeah, and that of course sucks because no one wants to live austerely and also they remember their baby boomer parents who remember Their greatest generation parents who actually did live austerely and it just made them into just blind psychopaths that couldn't connect with their family or spouses or whatever But I got to go into my favorite headbusters was one that has a like crinkled Vodka bottle on it. That's like crinkled and deflated and it says absolute impotence implying implying that

You're not gonna be able to get it up with vodka, which that's whiskey that would be the history of There are still Russians. I'm sorry I'm sorry. That's just not true like who's like paying for ad but like free. It's a mate It's kind of made for like 30 years. They've done the same magazines where it's like a car with pollution written on the side How many people do you think went from the ad busters like, you know ad busting thing to actual ad agencies? Probably a through line, right? Yeah, hundreds of thousands. Well, that's the thing is that is that and that this is this is a cultural phenomenon that sort of Expands beyond any particular generation is is that is that you get alienated from some cultural aspect of

the current social economic order a symptom and You basically because you can't do anything about it because collective action has been foreclosed because you wouldn't even know how to start Doing something like that, especially in the 90s. My god You basically have a choice of you can either stop caring about it or deal with it or just be the most annoying person on earth that no one Wants to hang out with right and that's like you can either yes Like you're either the ad buster guy that everybody rolls their eyes at or you just sort of get let the program I think going back to boomers a bit I think of everyone talks about like boomer mag of people boomer Republicans or magic boomer magic

But there were a lot of boomer liberals and when I think about boomer liberals I think about my dad and he was a very specific type of liberal. We don't have any more which is Guy who despises like the CIA the military war but doesn't know what to do about it He doesn't have any like proper critique of it So he's like alright a sport Bill Clinton, you know like and I feel like the Gen Xers got a little bit of that because they correctly identified the problem that marketing was becoming the new language that defined all our Interactions and all our Interpersonal relationships and our relations with the world around us, but they didn't know what to do about it

So what they did about it was to make ad busters, right or to be like, yeah By that point especially after like the World Trade Organization protests There was no sense that like well, what if the problem is actually Capitalism because they're like well, this is done. This is this project is not going anywhere ever So you just become either Sanctimonious or you know again jump on board well or like the dot-com boom, right? Which was which which was like what's gonna reinvent capitalism in a new way? Yeah, I mean and and I guess and that's the thing It's like Gen X always had this this era of revolution around it

but now that we stand on the cusp of Brett Kavanaugh a Wasted tales of a Gen X drunk like going on to the Supreme Court to you know Like dismantle labor and control women's bodies like it's pretty clear that there wasn't a revolution Yeah, and more of the same. Yeah black spot shoe anyone remember this They add busters sold a shoe. It was supposed to be the anti-brand shoe and It was called the black spot No, it's an anti-logo that was a real thing you could really buy this is like people who say they're anti ideological It's like no, that's an idiot. I would say the same as like not dismantling capitalism

It's like they didn't dismantle patriarchy either and all these Gen X heroes are white men, you know, it's like Kurt Cobain like David Foster Wallace like indie filmmakers of the 90s like they're they're they're they're alt like they're slouched over They're like slackers, but they're still just white men taking up a ton of room and like in the and not and not like Questioning their own identity as as being like the most the story that most needs to be heard Well, the others revolve around right the cult of the you know Sad young white man or whatever has remained like largely untouched, but the interesting thing about Kurt Cobain is that he was kind of I mean, he was like best friends with Kathleen Hannah and shit even though his wife punched her in the face Anyone remember that it's hilarious

You could tell he had this kind of I mean he wrote about it. I guess he had this kind of cognitive dissonance about it He didn't really know what to do about it. He You know would do whatever feminist graffiti and stuff like that, but ultimately That entire at least grunge, you know as as kind of a movement or whatever Was commodified very quickly and it wasn't in their hands who got hurt. It wasn't like, you know You were going to hear whatever L7 as much as you were going to hear Nirvana on the radio And it wasn't necessarily the band's decision right because it doesn't matter that it was like an organic thing that happened in Seattle with Your friends in a garage

Ultimately, there are forces at play that are not in your control and I think that must Be kind of a frustrating thing and now it's now it's different now. We have like SoundCloud and shit. I guess but I Don't know. It's just Ultimately, you're always going to run into this thing where art is not decided upon in any way that is democratic And I'm not necessarily even saying that's a good thing because a lot of times people have terrible taste but it's certainly not up to the artists themselves who Who who gets famous or or who gets recognition or who gets written about in the history books? According to it, you know again in conclusion based on our highly researched and sociologically sound data points that we've presented

boomers a scourge gen X but also bad set by mom Millennials Most juries out other than me People I know I'm gonna be dignified and old Gen Z scary Gen Z Little though the exact thing we need people awful. Oh wonderful babies are great With fucking guts necklaces made of teeth. They're gonna be the ones who just They aren't eating them us now, but when they're gonna be doing the bone tomahawk to all of us. Yes They're gonna be dabbing over the corpses of their parents. It's gonna be so sweet when the last thing you hear is y'all yeet

I have I have no Generational loyalties nor antipathies Except when I'm like, I don't know in in line somewhere and someone is writing a check for something still But like basically when they're not in can when the generation is not inconveniencing me directly I try to remember that I too will be old and irrelevant someday and Whatever I'm gonna be a podcaster. How embarrassing is that gonna be? How how am I gonna explain that to my grandchildren that it's gonna be humiliating you don't have it

We won't have those but I guess that's the thing about Gen X is that they were irrelevant when they came onto the scene and now They're irrelevant in like a whole new way, and that's what makes them very sad Well, how about we have some fun guys. Let's have some fun with the New York Times off that day. Yeah Okay, so let's let's get these juices flowing guys opinion Is this man the antidote to Donald Trump? Maybe one super rich old white guy from New York can save us from another super rich of course To be like self-knowing like tongue-in-cheek. Yeah, of course. This is the Frank Brunei. Okay, okay It takes a billionaire to know a billionaire. What if it also takes a billionaire to take down?

Wow, I've always said both those things I mean, it was to like common sentiments that it takes a billionaire to know a billionaire Yeah, it rolls off the tongue billionaire in the bush is worth two billionaires in the hand It's the plot of every cop movie you need it. You need a bad guy to catch a bad coming this fall to Fox billionaire cop Frank Brunei billionaires Frank Brunei writes with the grace of a overweight 13 year old boy making his way onto the slow dance floor Clunky but just a little too self-aware and it just makes everyone feel bad. The best thing about Brunei is that that's supposed to be the most valuable Intellectual real estate in American media right New York Times op-ed page these people are talking opining an audience of millions about politics They shape the agenda the day and they just took a guy who spent his entire career going wow

These ravioli are really fluffy and said hey you can talk about politics. He's a fucking food critic. How did that happen? I always I don't hate myself enough to actually do this, but I want to go back to Frank Brunei's old food columns See if he's as dumb about food as he is about this There's so many Franks there's so many Franks It would be funny if there was a if you go back there and the Brunei Restaurant refused like the food was great, but I was lost for 15 minutes trying to find the bathroom It's probably like similar hair-brained ideas to his political concepts where it's like you know I think that Hardy should make spaghetti

Okay, it's gonna be like an entire calling on him choking to death on a garnish You got Frank Brunei Frank rich Frank booth Okay, TV's Frank Thomas Frank That was the theory okay, so what if it takes a billionaire to take down a billionaire That was the theory behind giving Michael Bloomberg a prime speaking spot at the Democratic National Convention It's like don't you stop writing at that point Become became relatable it's like that's when everyone really like didn't work never mind my idea was stupid I'll start over with a different one. I mean they lost because not enough people saw Michael Bloomberg speech, right?

I mean that's that's a little That's how little these guys give a shit like this guy started writing he got to that line Which any one of us with intellectual honesty would be like oh, right this invalidates my entire thesis He's like well. I'm not opening a new word document That was the theory where his mockery of Donald Trump carried extra zing and sting It's like he's writing about food It was zesty and flavorful And he's right. I remember any line at all from that speech. Yeah, can you remember a single word from this speech?

One I think I'll tell my children where I was when I heard it. I think he like at one point He was asking a valet to bring his car around He took out a Experimental plasma rifle and just shot a big gulp out of somebody's hand He's a memorable event beloved by all and That's the idea. Well one of the ideas behind Bloomberg's possible bid for the presidency in 2020 You didn't hear the only idea is just that he's an ego monster You didn't hear it was a morsel of news easily

He's eating it was a subduous little a booze bush of information It was a morsel of news. He's like he's like found an M&M in his couch He's like well be having that I'll be turning that into a column today Bloomberg is again thinking about running and if he forages ahead he'll compete for the Democratic Party's nomination To the extent that people I know reacted to this It was with a chuckle or an eye roll vigorous enough for corneal abrasion What most of them said was some version of oh great That's just what voters want and American needs another super rich old white guy from New York

But no two super rich old white guys from New York are exactly alike and these two have little in common including financially The best thing about Michael Bloomberg that he's richer than Donald Trump Listen to this next man to the machine listen to this next sentence Felix Trump's net worth as mysterious as the Yeti is Estimated to be about three billion while Bloomberg supposedly tops 50 billion. I look I know that we're gonna talk about how stupid This is like what like that every vote is gonna be like I'll take the richer guy, please But can we just I've kind of just too?

Awful awful awful instances of Bruny's writing in like the past three sentences one Rolling your eyes so much you get corneal abrasion That was you roll your eyes so fast that your eyes starts bleeding It cuts open like what and then then as mysterious as the Yeti. Yeah, that's The grand mystery of the Yeti. Oh Oh my god, this is so fucking mad. He's just I know that like we're talking about what how shitty his ideas are And how lazy is but he's just such a fucking as a writer I really think it deserves reflection

But it is also just like classic New York Times like this feels so far just like a social column Like it's it feels like it says it's commenting on like society It's like well guess what I heard the other day over and you know east egg is that Bloomberg might throw his hat in again, you know, and he's actually richer How his friends responded to it they love that right by the way Matt as two people who have now visited the International Museum of Cryptozoology, I think we can state conclusively there is no mystery to the Yeti yet. He is real. It's a cryptid He's real. He's a real guy. He's located in the mountains of Central Asia, and I swear He's a simple beast that wishes to be left alone. It doesn't mean he's mysterious. He just enjoys his privacy

Actually, the Yeti bigfoot is a simple beast which was just to be left alone. He's the North American Yes, the Yeti Yeti is a dangerous violent malevolent creature who should be hunted and destroyed He is more really also more more guys are gonna go down four legs As opposed to the Yeti, which is always by Pete or the bigfoot, which is always by I feel like this is a really elaborated upon Chris Rock bit Oh my god, I was just gonna do that. I was reaching for that like like Ricky says great minds think a lot The New York Times office Frank Broody's like I've got some information on the Yeti and the mystery behind it And then it's just me raking my fingernails on a chalkboard

You want me to find the Yeti? I'll find them for you kill them stuff them, but it'll cost you $10,000 Also sometimes appears with horns, which is never true. Yes. The Yeti is a horned beast. Yeah, he's horny He's a horned up folks. He's a horny toad. Anyway, not a mystery well-established Corpus of knowledge about the Yeti learn your facts, Brody. This will be the one thing that actually gets Frank Broody demoted Just it like his his lack of knowledge of cryptids Also, is it actually estimated that Trump is worth three billion? Nobody knows. I don't think he's even worth one Zero people know how much money he actually has the way the way the estimated based on what? Yeah, what the self-reporting is the thing

It's all self-reported. I mean, I think what actually unlike cryptids I think what is well-known is that Mayor Bloomberg is one of the richest fucks. That is definitely no, but I do love It's also known that he's a Republican, but I love the brain just absolute disconnection of the every one The Clintons did this too during the campaign of he's not really that rich It's like dude, you're making people like him more you fucking idiots like people don't like rich people like The money they liked it because the way that they thought he got it and the way that he Presented himself and the fact that more than anything and this is what all these idiots talk about billionaires like a billionaire versus billionaire Famous person right that was it. He was a celebrity

He was on TV and I think Fran Leibowitz was right that she said that he Acts like the way poor people think they would act if they got money, right? So they he's more or less not but I mean he's more or less like a celebrity rapist like that was what he was famous Yeah, it's like owning beauty pageants and like being in porn videos. Yeah, and that's cool for people like that. It's relatable It's like what they would do if they were rich. Michael Bloomberg has a media presence Who's the proud owner of not only the greatest financial trading terminal? Also Founder and namesake of the world's third most popular

Well America's third most popular business channel network This is actually really funny when my grandfather was still alive and he was like a you know Read the Wall Street Journal every day kind of guy and when Mayor Bloomberg was first running for mayor of New York City And I was visiting my grandparents. He told me I'll tell you what Finest business news network in existence That's why he won because America likes America loves us. Yeah, a cool guy Who's famous and has sexy TV shows like the currency hour on at 3 30 a.m.

We're just like a really great way to look at all the stocks moving up and down And it's a better screen for displaying it on than a regular screen American. That is cool Americans like to get three screens like tank from the matrix and just look at all the markets go up and down and they're like Thank you, Mr. Bloomberg. I love you and you're like you're welcome. I don't even see the yen anymore. I see That's what's so perfect about it though because they're saying ah, you know, he's it's a different but every Contrast is against him. It makes him less relatable. It makes him someone's people are gonna be less likely to want to vote for He's all he's just he's a rich prissy asshole from New York But instead of you know being like a normal person would be like yeah, I'm gonna get rich and I'm gonna get a fucking beauty page

And I'm just gonna hide in the growth bathroom. I'm going to be I'm going to Create business terminals and a boring cuz like yeah, yeah, he had he had the apprentice and it's like I'm gonna have a boring boring channel for Stupid financial news. I'm gonna stop drinking soda stop making soda. It's like they took Trump and put him around Versus snobs they want the porkies president Exactly if if Bloomberg like opened a casino and like went in a hot tub on TV, then maybe he could be president Casino the Bloomberg casino would be so awesome. You just like it's like using the Obamacare website Just going to different wrist balls. So tight dude. I love it. Yeah, I'm signing up I could do backer at or or I could do the slots

For 15 minutes and then I have to reapply for another another group Oh, dude, I got so fucked up on Soylent at the credit derivative swap table. No alcohol. No soda, obviously They're smoking. Yeah, no smoking. It'd be fucking great versus it's like a nice room temperature It's like Trump is my friend John Lacan pointed this out Trump is big and wet and Bloomberg is small and dry. Yep He's like he's like the she's like the beef jerky version of Trump and everyone would rather he to stake the beef jerky This is the Frank Brunei is saying that Bloomberg is the opposite of Trump. This is the clearly the distinction He missed it's the only way Michael Bloomberg and Trump actually are dissimilar Trump equals big and wet

Yeah, Bloomberg short and dry. Oh, so like he's definitely not the opposite of Trump He's gonna go on here he says who is the opposite of Trump like Maya Angelou I mean, I I mean kind well, no, I was gonna say Oprah, but not exactly But yeah, no really and I really got more in common than we do with her Yeah, Tom, Joe does the opposite of To those okay, so Brunei continues here to those of us who make do with fewer zeros and commas that gap may seem meaningless But you can fit the annual gross domestic gross domestic product of North Korea in it Another really beautiful awesome America falls in line to vote for this man. Bloomberg 76

Probably doesn't stand a chance. Oh god He has all the va va boom of a ficus tree and all the populism of a Bermuda golf course Shittiest analogies ever like No one has ever thought of like a golf course is the opposite of populism. Yeah It's it's a or a ficus tree as definitively boring Like like if you were to think of like like when Bugs Bunny dressed up as a sexy lady like the opposite of that is a fern Aren't ficus trees actually kind of like trendy right now. I don't know I have a fiddly thing

So yeah, okay. Fiddly is what's trendy Um, but if we're going to start putting Democrats diverse of options for 2020 on magazine covers falling in and out in love with them and magazines Where everyone gets their information? Yeah If we're gonna start putting all of them on magazine covers falling in and out of love with them and floating scenarios sublime and ridiculous He warrants an iota of oxygen an iota of oxygen Right wait, no, no, no you buried the lead here falling in and out of love with them Come on. Just looking at picture when I fell in and out of love with the other guy who was in the debate with I'm never loving a bitch again after Chris Dodd's betrayal of me in 2008

I'm standing outside of Elizabeth Warren's bedroom with holding a boombox Play Peter Gabriel. That is very sweet. Well, this is a thing though that like libs do fall in love I mean with their politicians one of their one of their one of their big criticisms of Like Bernie fans was like, you know, I get the impression. They just like his policies. They don't really like him And it's like no, of course not of course not. We don't he's a screaming old man policies we don't have like a weird Abidnal kind of electro complex with Hillary Clinton. No, but the other thing the opposite of that was that there were so many people being like How is it possible that an old screaming man could be so hip and trendy with young people?

And it's like because he's saying something good that is gonna help them like it's not because suddenly he is the definition of Sexy or something like that. Yeah lives are personality cultists, but it's not just that is that they don't understand that other people are not I When I'm gonna disagree with you slightly and say I do have a little bit an old desire for Bernie Sanders I want to make toast with him at his bomb-ass lake house Okay, so he goes and he's hardly the continuing of Bloomberg he says He warrants an iota of oxygen a small pocket of the breathlessly speculative space that Corey and Kamala and Elizabeth and Beto are taking up And that's not just because he's a serious person of stratospheric a compliment accomplishment. His name is synonymous His name is synonymous with excellence Nancy Pelosi recently said his name is synonymous with excellence

Not that old Erick Stratospheric you made a really good terminal you guys have never used it clearly. It's really good. It's great terminal He's also from a certain angle the Trump deplorers dream come true an answer to prayers for the president's opposite If there's a Michael in the mix with a few too many of Trump's qualities and the wrong temperature for the job It's avaneti not Bloomberg Michael avaneti is awesome so much cooler Like I will say he's a lying scumbag obviously like he's a weird scam artist type of guy But also like he fucking rules. He's like like he looks like Johnny sins

Just like I You know what seal the deal for me was when he locked his account with 764,000 followers like to fight for Chan or something that was just when I was like this guy has one of the most powerful brains I've ever seen he's but he if you want to talk about someone being like Trump It's avaneti being like Trump in the way that will let you win because right the Trump thing where he's like Just anything that happens anything people say about him. He's like, yeah, no, it's not true. I can't be embarrassed It's impossible to make me feel shame or embarrassment And like you know really if you're gonna do like a total head-to-head thing like that not based on policies

Avonati would be your guy because he's the only one that can counter that also avanati actually seems to have some kind of passion for Justice like of some sort like he actually seems to be riled up on behalf of you know getting justice for his clients or I mean like Bloomberg has never Been fighting for anything other than bloodless, right? Yeah, because the for most people the only person that they see on television directly Appealing to them on those levels is a personal injury attorney. I will fight for you Against evil insurance companies and your boss and stuff like my car that they're not getting it from politicians Michael avonati is also like he's literally the only candidate in the Democratic field who I could see like actually achieving

M4a if he actually did it because not because he like really gives a shit about anyone But because I believe that he has that Lyndon Baines Johnson personality disorder where he's like I'm gonna Perform this great act. I'm gonna accomplish this great thing just to show that I am the only one who can do it He knows how to fight. That's the bottom line, right? Like that's what hasn't been happening Yeah, you know in the manner of a personal injury lawyer president Jimmy McGill Yeah, you said that Avonati has the Lyndon Johnson personality disorder. That's also known as having a really big dick huge But I'm also against that whole concept. So you're against the concept of BD

Yeah, I think it's completely insane that like in this moment this me too moment That anyone would ever start talking about like big dicks as like a positive thing like this is just not needed right now Yeah, I disagree. You need to keep your like big dick energy It needs to just like dissipate and like linger away like just agree hard disagree. I'm really okay big hard disagree Okay, I mean, it's it's it's not new really like our culture like every culture is always lionized big dick It's like you remember when Michael Michelangelo statues those huge digs on them. I remember just dragging along the ground Just huge like something that like barely anyone would be that big ever I guess I'm saying for women like I don't think that women should be aspiring to have big dick energy because I don't think that

It's the right way of You know like I feel like that's a very outdated mode of Feminism that was big in like the early aughts where it was like I know like we're all just gonna act like dudes and Be disgusting like dudes and you know want to fuck all the time like dudes and it was like well We didn't really like get many victories for for I'm challenging Amber to Respond. I mean, I obviously I'm opposed to women Imitating men unless, you know, they do it really well and it's hot, but I think that

It's just kind of a flip thing that you know that the kids are talking about online because it means well Right and also I can't figure out that the targets that they're choosing to describe people as big dick energy Yeah, I don't make sense. I Pete Davidson is dying. He's dying But he's dying before our eyes. I don't know like I don't know that you could say that there's something inherently Threatening about it because that man is on death store and someone should do something. He looks terrible It's all it's all Pete Davidson and the ginger from this new start Star Wars movies. Yeah, like those are Threatening representation That if we're celebrating big dicks, we should celebrate small dicks and we shouldn't like make big dicks

Be like feel so we got to stop us in the house. I'm uh, I believe in the synthesis Harveyism Think like a lady act like a man. Yeah, okay. I was wondering where you're going with that Wedding It's fine, dude Let's just you know synthesis just average dick good feelings good times for everyone. Yeah, that's the hage alien way to Like exactly good to go back to average penis like three inches Artistic ideal just like, you know slightly too big, but it's okay

Back to brunette Back to this morsel big digression Bloomberg is as insistent on order as Trump is on disorder as steady as Trump is spastic Should not have used the word spastic there. That's he's canceled. Yeah canceled Frank. He's cancel like Trump won't give us a moment's peace Bloomberg could lull us to sleep politically speaking. We need the R. E. M's. Yeah, what are you talking about? People like people across America are like I love my boring organized Jewish president Crying over the coffin, I love my manly Jewish president son I just want a president who will wheel me into a room and show me nice pastoral images while pumping fentanyl into my veins

Yeah, and then grinding me up into fucking bone meal Also, both Trump and Bloomberg don't have like real party affiliations like they're just rich guys from New York So is that is that what Bernie's saying? We need like that's a good thing that we should just have another completely amorphous like Person who doesn't leave anything saying that but I think he's picking up on it, but not smart enough to figure out That's the similarity. He's recognizing mm-hmm Bloomberg is as prepared as Trump was unready The presidency for him wouldn't be a first world at governance some G whiz. Why not?

How hard can this be Lark? He spent 12 years from 2002 through 2013 as New York's mayor in charge of a complicated city of more than 8 million people Trump operates by gut Bloomberg demands data and more data Yes, fact really he didn't really seem to care too much about data when it came to stop and frizz nope Or when it or when he sent like helicopters to break up Occupy like with like, you know cops and like Star Wars Do you remember what do you remember what Mayor Bloomberg said during Occupy like when people were in Zucati Park? He said I don't know why they're protesting bankers. He's like bankers, you know

They they give you they give you checks. They make forty thousand dollars a year. He was literally said they said They were protesting bank tellers Why can't I take the pen? Change that shit to the fucking table fuck you that'd be awesome going to Occupy Wall Street But just because like your local bank didn't let you charge your phone in the lobby. Oh, what the fuck you? I've been thinking about being a customer, but honestly fuck you They said a free calendar for every account open and that shit was fucking mini. That was a mini calendar for a fridge That was not that's a fucking falsehood

Trump doesn't really have his hand on the wheel. He just wants to be the shiny hood ornament Bloomberg is all pinpoint GPS navigation. Oh my god This is the second Garmin you've read us just two of these like Unflavored bowls of grits in like the past month and he's used the hood ornament analogy in both of them He just he loves them. He loves a car analogy He didn't always steer New York in the right direction But there was never any question that he'd keep us out of the ditch the implicit assumption here

And this is something that Felix talked about is how many people who just want things to be normal again They don't care if things get better that because they're doing fine. They're they fucking subscribe to the New York Times They just don't want to be bothered by the news anymore They don't want to worry that the president's unstable. So they just want that and it means I'm what Nancy Pelosi says about someone. Yeah, yeah It's like they want this elfin technocrat to just steer us into the fucking iceberg that is rapidly melting and we'll all die anyway But at least we won't hear about it until it happens Trump is playing midwife to ever more extreme debilitating partisanship

Sense of metaphor is so boring yet gross What rough Trump and Trump just breastfeeding a newborn. Oh, we love it Partisanship Screaming black demon baby of partisanship. What is fucking Damien? Sucking on after birth of voter unrest Trump is eating the placenta of Polarization very cool Frank what rough partisanship it's our come-at-last

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born. I'm just as offended as calling by calling Trump a midwife as by Trump always saying witch hunt Because it's like where he sees himself as a witch Which is like completely offensive for for him to identify as a witch yet, please Not for Trump. Thank you. Me and my girls are gonna like I'm like when's the last time you read tarot cards me and me me and my wonderful friends are drinking wine and watching the craft. Oh, we love it I could have had for is a bulk in 1992 Okay, they're going out there right now, but I'm let is a feather stiff as a board. These are wonderful crystals Follow my peach if you think you know me well, okay

Folks the bones I found them at the graveyard. They're amazing. The future is so many spirits. All right, everybody I'm doing a thread about toxicity in the tumbler witch community. Okay It's a special very bad. It's a very special tumbler How could it's hard to envision Bloomberg doing the same meaning creating extreme debilitating partisanship How could he demonize Republicans independence or Democrats when he has been a Republican and independent and a Democrat? Also Republicans should be demonized their literal demons seriously does like what I mean Does Frank Brunei not know that probably like parties love it when they do that, too They they really think someone's a really reliable investment bounce around from party to party Trump isn't like midwifing

partisanship, he's like no, he's letting out like white nationalism like it's not you know It's not like this is this bizarre thing where these these people just like continue to fetishize some notion of like agreement Where you know, there's this like wonderful middle where we can all be with Bloomberg and Pelosi and everyone People too, you know in the sort of general right aren't big fans of him like he's such a he's such a Failure on any level to meet any of this has no fans. Yeah, exactly. He has no fans He has no fans and while that may make him appear as ideologically rudderless as Trump He's not many of his core positions and principles pro immigration pro choice in favor of free trade in Support of clean air have been intact for a long while. I love the best one of Bloomberg's like well-known policy positions

I love clean air. I breathe it all the time I breathe it in my hyperbaric chamber under my dungeon every day Bloomberg doing the Trump steaks promo, but for air I breathe air all the time. It's one of my favorite gases. He's also just basically talking about the smoking ban That's his contribution to clean air ruining everyone's fun. He's pro transparency, too When he was in government, he routinely released his tax returns though. He's a shit about the fucking tax returns again This is this is nerd shit. Oh my god I'm glad that the man who hordes 50 billion dollars like didn't obtain any of it illegally that makes me feel good It's it's also just so it's so weirdly like that. It's like clean air

It sounds like a Don DeLillo like satire of like a platform that someone would have it's like my new terminal and my Clean air and and my like efficient release of tax returns like that's gonna make people really passionate about you That's what New York time people are passionate about and right they have never met anyone right? Though his station was well below the presidency and there weren't rampant suspicions about untoward influences home Influences on him and sinister conflicts of interest He has had complaints about Journalists, but he has never sought to G legitimize journalism itself. He never would he owns a media company He's like yeah, of course, why would he try and delegitimize it?

He owns them he owns a media company that literally employs Eli Lake and Megan McCartle It's like it's so telling to like I know that it's like tough to be a journalist But not this type of journalist. Yeah, like it's very telling when like op-ed writers Are like yeah, Trump's so bad. He demonized immigrants black people in journalists and it's like oh Very sneaky to get that one in there. I almost didn't notice they all think they're Kim wall Yeah, they're acting and they might end up dying in a submarine, but that's kind of it It's amazing. They act like a shitty op-ed journalist who like maybe once like in 2009 Trump was like He was very unfair to me like is like we're being attacked

This is literally like living under deterter like Jesus Christ like soon. I won't be able to publish my food reviews Yeah, that's right. Yeah He built that company from scratch without noteworthy melodrama Trump got into real estate. Oh my god. It's so boring Trump got into real estate courtesy of his father who gave and lent him large amounts of money And as he sought to grow that fortune he sprouted lawsuits and bankruptcies like weeds Wait, so it's like okay, so now that Frank Bruny has slipped this in like three fourths way down in his column It's finally gonna take hold like someone's gonna read it to be like wait a minute You're right Trump didn't start his company and he wasn't a self-made man

Bloomberg is fanatical about recruiting top-notch talents and empowering it Trump picks a mix mix of standouts and stooge's and disempowers them if they're lucky He gave Tito Ortiz a lot of chances on the imprentice actually If If they're not he disembowels them ask Jeff Sessions who probably considers Mel Gibson's end in Braveheart Preferable to his endless mortification This treated if Jeff Sessions did end up like William Wallace I would honestly I would pay to watch that on Bloomberg TV

Like his example of someone being unfairly treated poorly is Jeff Sessions. Amazing. Is the neo can fucking go home Amazing this fucking league of the south little goblin elf. Oh my god This dark elf from World of Warcraft. Oh god Bloomberg's top aides say that with him loyalty is a two-way street with Trump It only goes in one direction. Oh like a one-way street That's that's what you're thinking about it Literally just saying like he's like Trump is a sociopath like Bloomberg has some regular human qualities like so do a lot of other people like he's just you know

It's like he's comparing he's saying Trump is only loyal in one way like yes Because Trump is a freak who's different from like all other people that doesn't mean Michael Bloomberg is the answer Doesn't mean that this guy who happens to have like the normal way of relating to people in an organization Like is the right answer. Yeah, that's not a rare quality. Right exactly. It's like I almost everyone else has that quality Okay Bloomberg's mayoral administration was light on ethical scandals Trump's president Trump's presidential administration Why even waste the keystrokes good question? He's like oh man, I already put so much energy into this one analogy about how

Michael Bloomberg is like the produce section and Donald Trump is the frozen food section I can't even expand any more energy. I'm fucking beat dude. Bloomberg's children are polite and nice Trump's children well need I tell you that there are three of them I hate the like the little margins are really wide Wides his margin. I love Frank Bruni's like when he gets like his ride devil may care style of prose very cool He's like he's like Bloomberg never raped his any of his ex-wives Trump on the other hand has been accused of Trump is a Potemkin philanthropist so much show that a Washington Post reporter David Farrenton Farrenton hold What a pure surprise for exposing all the fakery in the Trump Foundation

Stopped him from being president article aimed at someone who has not been living like in our society Yeah, all Frank Bruni's columns are like all right Frank. There's this guy who is recently brought out of the coma But lost a quarter of the function of his brain We need you to tell him what's going on and Frank's like ah, I can either give him the long version or say no more And they're like cool Frank. Don't ever fucking talk to me the doc I don't want to talk to you at all the guy wakes up from a coma And they're like they've taken Frank Bruni to be like fill him in and he goes well ten years ago We had Steve Jobs

So he goes Bloomberg is the real deal Supporting a carefully chosen array of causes genuinely dear to him. What like the New York Philharmonic Anyway eight years ago, I'm sorry Trump is very much the real deal in that he believes whatever he is saying at that Particular moment. Yeah, every charity that a guy like Michael Bloomberg supports is like yeah It's like the opera or it's adding a new wing on to yell And then every once in a while they do something where it's like oh, we're sponsoring 30 inner-city kids in a way that would actually Actually

Benefits like point oh one percent of the children it could benefit if I was just taxed at a more fair rate. Yeah Eight years ago. He signed the giving pledge by which nearly 200 billionaires around the world have agreed to donate more than half of their wealth in the last two years alone He gave away more than one billion Yeah, I want to say one thing about this idea like we hear this with Bill Gates a lot Like he's pledged to give away all his money Jeff Bezos just did this where it's just like he's gonna give away all his money When he dies first or like a portion of it first of all giving away one billion when you have 50 of it means nothing Yeah, it's bullshit and again Amber asked the right question. Who's he giving it to the answer is in almost every instance

They're giving it to a foundation Yeah, yeah, they're giving it to a foundation that they set up to appropriate to you know Appropriate the wealth that they're giving and that most of the work and energy within that foundation goes to running and maintaining the foundation Exactly, so like yeah, and and this is the other thing that they're not addressing and that Frank Bruni is not addressing in this article It's like how the reason Bloomberg didn't join the 2016 races because he wasn't meaningfully different from Clinton And he didn't want to divide the vote that would have gone to Clinton Yeah, and risk having Trump win but Trump won anyway, but still now it's like why would someone who's essentially no different from Hillary Clinton win But what about this other?

He might as well say what about Hillary Clinton to beat Trump in 2020, you know, like that's literally how trapped in the Well, he has one advantage over Hillary Clinton and that is his passionate defense of Charlie Rose Which no one asked him about yeah, right into that's my favorite thing He's done as part of this PR blitz. It's just say you know what he sticks up for his friends Yeah, it's just no one asked about and he's like, you know, me too has gone too far honestly like my friend Charlie We didn't think he did anything wrong Is Charlie Rose still gonna start his talk show where he only interviews men who have been me tooed because I'm for it. I'm trying to float that balloon back up into the air because I think that's the best thing for everyone

Oh is Louie gonna come back and be like you could be like yes He's gonna be on Charlie Rose's me to exile talk show next week, you know, like it would just be the perfect launching path Everyone Anyone who ever wanted to come back would be like no, I'm not going on you would have to it would be mandated you that's part of your rehabilitation Like okay, the first thing is you have to go on the show I'm currently I'm currently Pitching to networks my me to Takashi's castle idea where whoever completes the obstacle course It's to return to entertainment American me to warrior me to double dad

I don't morally agree with the idea, but it's just like, you know, I Idea sure money dude ideas shared on a podcast our intellectual property and cannot be stolen I've recovered our ass to that one. Thank you So it's a pretty actually he gets into some criticism of Bloomberg here He goes he has gaping blind spots Which were described in a recent story about his potential candidacy by my times colleagues Alexander Burns and Sydney Ember I was floored that he digressed in an interview with Burns to wonder about the accusations against Charlie Rose It's like I was floored that he was a 76 year old man

Although and though Bloomberg during his mayoralty famously rode the subways. He never managed to seem of the subways You know, I think he's like a little bit rat-like Boomburg Boomburg just got some of the subway Attention attention ladies and gentlemen. I'm out here trying to do something positive for New York City It's showtime. It's the time for the show It's the time for the show everybody Bloomberg Bloomberg does showtime, but it's just reciting the US dollar exchanges to other foreign I'm out here. I am not selling drugs. I am not gangbanging I'm trying to imagine Boomburg doing like the the showtime style tumbling like through the subway car

But like his version of that is just sort of sitting down and then standing up again I Can't wait till Bloomberg goes on Ellen and dabs It's gonna be the greatest day of my entire life Bloomberg's candidacy began with the change She got in return for all the cans he collected while living underground Bloomberg got arrested for stealing all those decommissioned MTA buses You know, you never seemed you never managed to seem of the subways of the subways But then the 2016 election has left me confused about who should could and does have the ability to connect with

Blue collar Americans Many of them saw a champion in Trump. It's funny Republican voters came to embrace Trump and then Republican lawmakers meekly followed suit Though he hadn't done all that much for the party before Democratic voters are probably less inclined to embrace Bloomberg, but he has pumped substantial sums of money into initiatives regarding gun control LGBT rights climate change and more that matter to them That doesn't make him their best choice. It certainly doesn't make him their likely one But I hope it elicits their respect and if he pursues this thing an open-minded assessment

So many of the virtues lost on Trump are found in him Let's celebrate that as a way of making sure that the party's eventual nominee possesses them in robust measure The only qualities that I like about Trump are missing in Bloomberg. Yeah Doesn't there an article about how he's a horrible sex creep and like her ass? Yeah We should probably you know, just to not get sued but if you had to guess About like his treatment of his underlings and stuff and one of the stories is like a woman one of his underlings told him She was pregnant. He said kill it. What? Yes He has always been staunchly

choice, yeah, it does appear that Bloomberg has been met with a lot of pregnancy discrimination Laws is yes, this yes, I was not correct in 1996 for when pseudom one of them alleges that when she so told him She was pregnant one of his underlings. He said quote kill it Okay Real cool guy Emory you said all the qualities that you like about Trump are absent in Bloomberg Yeah, I just want to go into a little bit about Trump being a really cool guy

This week he gave a press conference at the UN Earlier this week and he had some had some pretty good quotes to come out of that wait I was hoping though that you were gonna say talk about the thing that he said and in West Virginia at his rally about How he talked to some minors and he said do you want to be making little delicate computer parts? And they said no, I want to be mining coal Sir, I want to die for you Yeah, you're filthy little hogs. You love being dirty. You love it. Yes, sir. I love you You know, he went through a like McDonald's drive-thru in a mining town. It was like I'm talking to minors

More vloggers than minors in America, by the way, absolutely hundred percent unfortunately Trump says a top expert on China Michael Pillsbury. I Want to know more about Michael Pillsbury. He says Michael Pillsbury went on a good show. He won't name It was Tucker Carlson's and said this I'm ready said My wonderful friend good friend teddy bear. This is this is Daniel Dale, by the way He always has the best live tweets of Trump's press conferences and rallies By now, I do not understand. He goes here

He went on a good show and said China has total respect for Donald Trump's a very very large brain Okay, let's see now if this person weren't in charge of absolutely anything And you know, maybe didn't have that nasty horrible means streak this particular free Association style of communication would be charming. Well, we Amber We had decades of that when Trump wasn't president, but was just like a famous crazy Yeah, but he was still molesting people. Well, okay, that's true. That's just but but this quality But I'm fine. What about just the fact that he always talks about himself in third person always like no one even Comments it anymore, but like other presidents didn't do that. They didn't always call themselves by their own full name

Oh, okay, do you remember what Bob Dole did Bob Dole? Yes Right now Bob Dole, he's gonna be a good president. He's so very tired, but Bob Dole wants to be a president so bad Maybe it is just like when you achieve what Trump has achieved, which is like full media Consciousness focused on you at all times 24 hours a day globally. Like you are not I anymore like Like he is relating to Donald Trump. He's his own favorite show now Donald Trump did the ending of Deus Ex Where the where JC Denton merges with the AI with the supercomputer, but for his favorite thing the news He it's like his dream. He lives forever as the news

Here's another thread being a pure news. He's Dr. Manhattan of the news. It's true It's it's 18th. It's 1983. I see Cheryl Teague's and oh boy real nasty attitude But yeah, could have had her actually bought her an ottoman They're just on Mars and they're suffocating. Oh sorry Here's another thread with Trump that I've loved recently his ongoing bromance with Kim Jong-un Yeah, he literally said love. I were in love. He said we love each other. Oh Kim Jong-un is in my triad wonderful No, but he said

This is back to Daniel Dale at the UN. He was asked He was asked why he needed a second summit with Kim Jong-un so soon Trump said because he'd like it Trump says Kim's letters are Magnificent in that they convey a desire to get things done He complains of what somebody on a TV network. He won't name said about yet. Yes I think Kim Jong-un has a way clearer head than Donald Trump. We can all agree on that. Oh, absolutely Before Trump came along Everybody in this room thought you were going to war Trump tells journalists who did not universally think there would be a war

That's my favorite new thing. He's doing or he's saying Obama. He was gonna. He was gonna have a nuclear war with North Korea I stopped it. That's his new thing. It's amazing I also said I would do that, but then I didn't I stopped it. I prevented it Trump says him and he and Kim Jong-un both smile at and laugh at their previous harsh rhetoric about each other. Oh Remember when we hated each other Perfect strangers. Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah, you know hate turns to love. They have the same body type They do they got a lot in common little Humpty Dumpty And and like I think that Donald Trump Jr. Is jealous of how much Trump senior loves

Totally he is like look at this guy. He's a he's a real self-starter. He took over his young That's that's what a son is folks. Yeah, that's someone who takes over the you see his dad He didn't have to get his idiot Jewish son-in-law to take over This kid was good He's doing a great job. This is actually I think this is my favorite thing from the the UN press conference Just in like the live tweeting of it says Trump calls up a questioner then says this is the one that was nodding and all the nice things he said She says it's just a habit of hers when listening

No, I just love the idea everyone moving their heads like they're all saying yes Yes, like he thinks that people are saying boorns every I mean he did that the way they laughed at him And then he goes. Oh, they were laughing with me. He literally having a great time. He literally said they were laughing out of respect You do what your respects up what is laugh at their claims asked if he's concerned about the message She's sending to women watching by using the phrase con job Trump interrupts and says I've used much worse language in my life than con job That's like probably the nicest phrase I've ever used I love it when he does that like do you remember when like the first time they asked him about the cavern on accusations

He's like, yeah, you know, I've been accused like four or five times. Yeah, he's like everyone. I know has been accused all of his friends Oh, man, it's gonna be tough voting for him again Oh, and then of course the other the other great moment from that press conference is when he called on a reporter and mr. Curd mr. Curd I'm mr. Curd side And she's calling in air And she's tracking the turn also they talked to they talked to mr. Curd and and mr. Curd was like

I loved it Like like they the person who he was who he called mr. Curd genuinely was like I felt Because he just without thinking about it Affirmed Kurdish claims to control of northern Syria in the face of their nato ally turkey Dude, Donald Trump. Donald Trump is like his brain swirls around enough a day and he just like it's like this spitting Globe in the dart trick Just sometimes it lands on like some weirdly left position. He's like, you know, I support rajava wonderful More and more people love the Kurds. I want to talk about piss pick granddad. He's great

Abdullah Aslan treated very unfairly by the Turks. Okay, Murray butchkin read him Like you remember when he was like he like accidentally was like, yeah, we should do debt forgiveness for Puerto Rico Yeah, like Steve Mnuchin tried to do the valkyrie plot on him But that's just it but then they realized oh He'll forget about it in two hours exactly and that's the thing and that's what makes this it's always funny when he does this But so frustrating to know that none of this means anything like literally nothing He says means anything because the people behind him or no Yeah, another example of that was remember how there was like a week when

Trump to get back at Jeff Bezos started criticizing what amazon has done to the post office And he was like all of a sudden he was like standing up for the post office kind of Which actually is a really good thing that should be happening. I mean it is a good civic institution that we have a post office He was doing it in a completely insane way But it was he was shining a light on something the thing is when you're motivated by spite and not ideology At some point you're gonna make the right enemy. Yeah, that's true. No, absolutely always bet on spite, baby But thankfully we've got guys real patriots like uh kelly

and Mattis and mnuchin to keep them on the straight and arrow Well that that fucking barreling towards apoc that fucking ardor the op-ed in the new york times the anonymous op-ed from the senior Administration official who's fighting trumps agenda from inside when he said i'm fighting trumps worse impulses He meant things like that. Yeah, right? Like the racism shit. I'm fine with it Right huge bringing manufacturing back to america. Yeah, that one. He's like we will not have manufacturing jobs back in the united states Yeah, you were working a fucking denny's and you will fucking like it Wait, but that is such a crazy example

I literally completely forgot about that until you just said that and like it was only like a million years ago It was a huge deal Except except that also there were then there were these huge new york times articles that were like Let's break down every possibility of who this might be and I looked at it for one second and I was like i'm so bored I don't care like actually it's so boring anyone unless it's mike pence That'd be the only interesting answer basically because everybody else is just like who cares like they're I mean Who's the colonel staufenberg von staufenberg? Right. Trump administration. I oh man. I came up with a realization like that the other night that sons of anarchy could also be

An analogy for never trump republicans and in season two Zobelle is trump Yeah, because it's like in the previous season the sons of anarchy do all the bad things and they even deal with another Nazi in brandon darby But then and not and they're racist like you can't be black They're so racist like ron pearlman drops the n-bomb constantly, but then like the bad type of nazi comes and they're like Fuck this shit I'm so yeah now

Today's a very free-wheeling episode because we did a very like two very heavy breadcab and all episodes and Frankly, I've been watching sons of anarchy again, and I'm here for it Yeah, you know like a lot of bile out there. We got a lot of bile out You're probably still feeling the bile, but we you know we want to talk about trump's stupid brain and the bad articles and jack's teller sorry All right. Um, well alaina. I want to thank you for uh joining us today Thank you for having me, but I'd also like you to talk about I said at the very beginning of the show You are a showrunner

You know as a fellow showrunner myself I would like to uh give you the opportunity to uh, maybe tell us and our listeners about A cool new thing that is it out on alaina smith's production I'm not really allowed to talk about it did not check with anyone whether it was okay to do any kind of Of actual promotion. Well, we can say you know in broad outlines in the broadest possible I'm making a television show called dickinson for apple in their undisclosed location and how

Unknown how it will be released or when and in what way it will be beamed into your it will be dropped into your phones without your permission No, I don't know. Um, but will came to visit me on set the other day. That was pretty cool. And um, yeah It's a show with hailey steinfeld as emily dickinson. It's It's uh, it's like it's like nothing ever made. It's like nothing you would expect it takes place in the 1850s, but in a kind of reinvented sense And it's going to come out within the next 12 moons

Well, I I'm very looking forward to seeing it. Uh, the the trip to the set was really fun and I was really blown away by Just how many people have to Work to make something like this. Yeah a tv show possible. I'm a boss. Yeah I was amazed one guy that works hard. I was amazed at how professional everything was That's actually exactly what my mom said when she came to visit set. She was like, I just can't believe how many people Are working for you on this thing. Um, yeah, and like I was supremely. It's a union. It's a union project You know, I was supremely impressed with alaina Who I've known for a little bit now coming to see you there and then you were literally like the general patent

You had just like a army of people basically being a showrunner is completely Awesome because you get to be in charge of everything, but you don't have to take responsibility for dealing with the actors Which is the hardest part So you don't actually have to like you just get to say what you want and then make other people do it um, yeah, so Dickinson it is a sort of Funny sort of historical period drama that is a funny kind of weird look at the life of emily dickinson And played by hailey steinfeld who you may know as the great lead performance in the kohenbrothers true grit film

I really enjoyed Uh, and I gotta say having seen her period clothes having seen her in the clothes and in costume She doesn't like look like emily dickinson, but like she Looks like emily dickinson. You know what I mean? Like I was really impressed by how cool everything was And uh, there's some other funny. There's some other chain harkowski. Yeah, mrs. Dickinson The we have an amazing actor named toby huss who is mr. Dickinson It's um the show is being executive produced and the first two episodes are directed by david gordon green who did Eastbound and down and vice-principals you cannot get a better pilot director

And I know that everyone hears all these elements and thinks that nothing could be more random But it it does it does it does make a kind of sense once you see Hopefully once you see the the outcome, but uh, it's gonna know it's it's it's very exciting and um We are making the whole season right now. So we're we're shooting 10 episodes in a row. I'm sorry. Yeah, is this uh Already the strongest man in the world toby huss. Do you remember the adventures of peat and peat? Oh, yes You're correct. He was in peat and peat. Yes. Oh my god. Okay brings it back to gen X Oh, he's very gen X. Yeah, well, uh, if you want something to look forward to you in the future, there's not much but Yeah, I'll come back again when we can talk more specifically big dickinson energy big dickinson energy one thing

We can all look forward to sometime in the near future. That's right. We'll talk about authenticity, right gen X hero Elena Smith, thank you so much again for sitting in this day and joining us this week Well, until next time guys. Bye. Bye. Bye With every drop of sex and every little mess I made I was around I was around I was around I was around Nobody knows nobody knows I wasn't around Nobody knows

I wasn't around I'm nobody knows nobody knows I wasn't around I was around Nobody knows I wasn't around Nobody knows Nobody knows I wasn't around

Nobody knows Nobody knows