CheapShow - Ep 102: Aaaaghh!

Episode Date: November 16, 2018

After the madness that was episodes 100 & 101, let's just kick back and chill, shall we? Let's just hang out? You and us. In our one hundred and twoth episode, Paul and Eli decide to take stock of everything that has happened and everything that is to come. Eli gets rather annoyed with the lack of structure, but Paul decides to embrace it. But fear not, you still get a load of the usual verbal violence, horrible food and curious nostalgia! What's happened to Jimmy Biscuits? Who's this "Timmy Biscuits"? A disgusting chocolate bar is invented and after playing with a TOMY toy classic, the cheap chaps dive into a Froth Shop with a sticky end... And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos and the full live show on YouTube can be found at... www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US!

Hi. Hello, mate. Right, what do you want me to say then? The intro. Oh, man, really? Yeah, do it. Episode 102. I'm flying without wings.

Go on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop. Don't look at me. I don't like the fact that you look at me when I do this.

I'll turn away So I'll imagine your voice Is a lovely voice over of the Urban scene that I'm looking at Oh look at those trees Oh look at those flowers Oh look at the puddle on top Of someone's shed

It's more of a lock in And this is Cheap Show ladies and gentlemen I'm Eli Silverman and oh I've been sick as a dog. Paul, how about you, Mr Gannon? Who's the other show host of this show? I'm old and tired of fat. No, you are. You're looking a bit retuned.

I am. I don't know what's going wrong. I'm falling a bit. You've been through quite a stressful period in your life. I have. You've moved to London. I have. You're back in Lundro.

Diving into freelance. You're doing do freelance radio it's all fine i've actually been sweating shows we did live shows we're allowed to say that now yeah those were the live shows everyone you totally deflated me go for it deflated sorry that's my new word just want to say i wanted to add that to the tapestry of everything that i was oh you wanted to add that now but not when we're actually recording after doing the live shows, before they come out. Because no, they're pulling back the curtain. Because it's continuity.

No, we're not allowed to be real. We built our name on authenticity. Fuck this podcast. He's walking off. Fuck this podcast. He's walking off. I'm done. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse.

People love noodles, right? It's a fact of cheap show, you're going to have to fucking reset. Noodle time. Tales from the dance floor! How's the big guy? A fight of the shite! This is for Gamma Tane Hello! Eli Silver! Welcome to Geek Show.

And I go and I nuzzle. This is it, I'm done. He's not. What? Come back. Come back, Paul. I'm sorry. Fuck this.

We staked our reputation on authenticity. Then I had to lie like a mealy-mouthed communist for the last two episodes when we both knew that the live shows had been an absolute bomb. Success. The bomb. Yeah, the bomb, not a bomb. No, there was no bomb. There was no explosive

of any kind apart from the raw comedy talent on stage. Ghibli wow. So, you're ill as well, aren't you? Because you're poorly. I've already mentioned this. I thought you were going to go into more detail. You're talking about your shivering and...

I basically just lay in bed in a fever state, having dreams about carrying a large glass ashtray around. And sweating my liver right out. And then I got the chills. I'm not fully recovered, Paul. No. You do look shit. Thank you. I mean, you know, you're ill. I look past shills. I'm not fully recovered, Paul. No. You do look shit. Thank you.

I mean, you know, you're ill. I look pasty, do I? You do look a little... Peaky? Yeah. Pasty. Pasty and peaky. A bit sweaty.

Pasty and peaky. Yeah. They were like a double pig puppet show from the 40s. It never worked. Pinky and perky. Yeah, but I'm making I'm making a joke that pasty

pasty and peaky yeah well they were like sick pigs they'd come on sick pigs yeah oh I'm pasty oh

I'm peaky great two more fucking characters for this podcast oh I've got the flu oh I'm peaky because I've done some amphetamine sulfate.

It's good. I like these two. Alright, good. Let's see where they go. We're going down the lane, aren't we, pasty? Oh, I just want to stop here and vomit. I'm beginning to think if these are two sides of your body. They're like two sides of your mind. I'm peaky.

I realize upside. I'm pasty. I want to die inside and I'm depressed. Right, Paul, what have we got coming up on the show today? Did we do the intro? That is the intro. This is the intro. That was a long one. That's what she always says.

Not to you. She always says it and then I go back in. That was a long one in that was a long one that was a long one he's talking about going to the toilet she's got amnesia after every stroke

of my nose no that's a horrible fucking thought of a woman in turmoil because every time you put your dick in her you wipe her mind yeah

that's horrible mind wipe penis no that's a horrible oh that was a horrible. Oh, that was a long one. She's living that moment. A moment of that. It's more like,

oh, who am I? Oh, what's going on? Oh, who am I? Oh, that was a long one.

It's a horrible. Oh, that was a long one. That's a horrible. This is horrible. Anyway. Oh, that was a long one.

This is apparently cheap show. The economy. Oh, that was a long one. Where we go for the pound lands. Charity shops. The Poundlands? What's wrong with that?

What about Pound Stretcher? I like to stretch my pound right out. Right. You're in that mood today. Good, all right. What mood? I'm half dead. I'm feverish.

The House of Pickles has become a house of illness. It reflects my personality, this place. If anyone's listening to this podcast, we'd like to go back for the previous 100 and just tally the number of times Eli says he's ill or

severely under the weather. I'd like to get an idea of the ratio to healthy Eli episodes and then Eli episodes where it's like, you know, I feel like shit. Yeah, but usually that self-inflicted pull, this is actually a viral infection that I'm trying to shake. And I'm in your house. In the house of Pickles.

Breathe in the House of Pickles. The miasma. Oh, the miasma. Fantasia miasma of my stench. Yes. Come dance within the wafts of gloom. Yes. Good.

Mount Grotpants welcomes you. Are you the hype man for the House of Pickles now? Yes. Roll up, roll up to the House of Pickles. Come explore Mount Grotpants. Oh, but what can we up to the House of Pickles. Come explore Mount Grotpans. But what can we expect to see there for our hard-earned money? Well, if you look carefully,

you can find skiddies. Skiddies in pop-up shorts. Paul, hang on. We said we weren't going to talk about... This is like the behind the scenes. This isn't the House of Pickles that the public gets to see. No. The skiddies.

Let's just not say skiddies anymore. You just said it twice. To be fair, I don't think I've said skiddies since I was 15. It's weird. It's great. Not to that in donkey's ears. Right. Paul, is there some kind of structure to this 103rd second?

Hundred and fucking... Hundred and tooth. Hundred and tooth episode. Nah. I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to focus. But there are some talking points I want to talk about and we've got a grab bag. So, I tell you what,

let's put one of my lovely little sound effects in that decompartmentalises this podcast into segments. Here's one. Decompartmentalise? No, compartmentalise is the word you're looking for. What did I say? Decompartmentalise. Decompartmentalise. You should have just said compartmentalise.

Yes. Well, that's... Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not blah, blah, but I'm doing a rewind noise. All right. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Cheeky and pasty. All right. Calm down. Here's a sound effect. All right. And we'll do another segment of the show. Okay. Good. All right.

Next segment. Right. What is this segment then? Well, this is a loosey-goosey devil-may-care episode of Cheap Show. We're just hanging out. It's a hangout episode. Isn't that lovely? It's lovely.

It would be lovelier if I wasn't, like, ill. Very sick. I'm very sick. Yeah. I feel very... You got that shiver? I've got the shivers. I got the shivers. Yesterday, I just stayed in bed the whole day. The whole day. The only difference being that yesterday you were

ill. I never do that. Yeah, you fucking hibernate. You've got a little nest. His bed, seriously, ladies and gentlemen, is like a nest. I'm looking at it now, and there's the lid of a bin there's a blue empty bag there's a backpack there's a few books scattered around tobacco uh his laptop pillows it's all bunched around laptop pillows your laptop pillows yes what are they laptop pillows that are designed like a laptop yeah and you can open the pillows up and there's a screen in one and a keyboard in the other and you can go, oh, late night emails.

Late night emails. Oh, dear Prince Nababu, I will invest in your online banking account situation in order to help you get your £1 million inheritance. Here are my bank details. I trust you will serve me well in our agreement. The point is with those, if you give someone your bank details, they can't get me well in our agreement the point is with those if you give someone your bank details they can't get your money

you have to actually give them money that's how those scams work I know you've never been scammed by a fake Nigerian prince but they do say don't they with that they get you to wire them money that's the only way they can get money you need to wire the money that's the scam

so they say I need some funds in order to release these other funds. I need a deposit or whatever. But the point is that I'm trying to fucking make. Well, you're not making it very well, are you? Because even though you or I would scoff at such an email coming into a... What's the noise of a scoff?

No, that's not. That's a stupid noise. Make a real noise. Yeah, that's good. That's a stupid noise. All right, okay. Make a real noise. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, all right. That one. Scoff me. It's the new craze.

It's 2019's new craze, scoffing. What are you going to do today? I'm going to scoff. What are you going to do today? I'm going to scoff. Okay. Hey, man, you're going to come out tonight He scoffed me hard Did you hear that new song by

Aggie Aglaria What's it called, Do The Scoff? It's called Night Scoffin' Right, he scoffed at it. Bow, bow, bow, bow. Bom, ba-da-ba-bom-bom. Woo. Bom, ba-da-ba-bom-bom. Night's got finished. Dum-da-da-da-dom-dom.

Woo. Dum-da-da-da-dom-dom. Yeah. Mr. Cannon, stop you there. Now, this song has too much of a 70s disco feel. Right. What the kids want is a more sort of vocoder, sort of trap sound.

Ah. Well, I'm going for retro. Oh, it's not going to work. Is it not? Click. Click. No. Let me try again. Well, I'm going for retro. It's not going to work. Is it not? Click. No. Let me try again. Well, you have one more go

and we don't want a vocoder noise. Go ahead. I'll do vocoder. Yes, that's what... Yes, yes. California. California knobbo? No.

California scoff. Oh, right. I thought it was night scoffing. California scoff. No, you're ripping off an actual song. Am I? That California. Am I?

Or am I reinterpreting it? From Tupac. How many? Now, what was the original point you were trying to make? A scoff at the Nigerian prince's emails. Oh, yeah. God fucking hell. I'm so glad I'm not.

Thank you. Yeah, you are. But it only takes like 0.01% of people to reply for them to make enough money off this. So all it takes is that one idiot somewhere in the world to give them a little bit of money. And apparently that's all they need. Well, because they just send a bunch of emails. Because they bank it.

It doesn't cost them any money. Yeah, they just go, here's a generating program that generates emails randomly. Bash. Yes. And then you read it and you think, oh, what do I have all the people in the world? They decided to call on me.

Usually people who are sort of intellectually sub. And, you know, it's not very good, is it? No. And that's who it preys on. Old people. Their mind perhaps isn't as sharp as it used to be. People who are lonely, maybe. Lonely people.

Lonely people. Because of those scams I've heard. Yeah. There's those scams where people pretend to be like a good looking ex-veteran. And they get their money out of them that way. They send them photos of this handsome guy. You know, those ones. Honey trap sort of scams.

People get so into that. They're so lonely. And they so feel like they're in love with this person that isn't real that's been created. Yeah. That they still want to keep doing it. Even when it's been pointed out to them that they're getting scammed and the person isn't real. They're like, no, but I love the conversation. Don't leave me. How sad is that?

Well, some people can't find love as easily as me. That's fine. But, you know, if Eli can find love, then we all can find love. And you've known love.

What are you trying to fucking say? I'm just saying, you've known love, right? What are you fucking hinting at here? Mate, come round here. I make fucking hot beverages for you. I clean the front of pickles. No, you drank mine. That drink there is the one you made for me.

And then you started drinking. You didn't want it. Is that what this podcast has become, Paul? What? Us bickering and not making any sense. Yes. You're still drinking my coffee, so you've had two coffees now. You fucking wretched, bitter, ill, warped tramp.

Fuck me. Nice to see you as well. Anyway, what was the point of this? Oh, anyway, so I just thought I wanted to say thank you for everyone who came to the live show. Oh, yes, we did want to say to say we did have two massively awesome shows um basically at this point both videos should be on youtube we've kept them uh back for patreon people first initially so they can get them exclusively for now they're both available to the general uh certainly one certainly episode 100 is on YouTube.

101 is probably following, but it's soon. It's soon. Okay, that's great, Paul. It went better than I thought they would. Everyone had a good time. It was lovely to meet everyone who came along. You know what really was very gratifying for me? Yeah.

It's you hadn't really experienced how people listen to the show in the privacy of their own home, where you are clearly the baddie, and I'm the sort of goodie. You're not a goodie. You're more like a muscle that I'm looking for. A fat cunt. Oh, there you go.

Boo. Boo. Boo. Yeah. That'll be in my head forevermore, Paul. Whenever you say something like that, ooh, I can hear the legions, the legions of cheapskates,

ooh, Paul booing you. They live with me. They live inside me, Paul. They live in my heart now. I am very sad. I'm very sad about that. So, yeah, everyone who came along, thank you so much.

Badgers, got rid of them all. Can't believe that. Right. Is there going to thank you so much Badgers got rid of them all can't believe that right is there going to be another run of Badgers different design maybe maybe but I don't

definitely more Badgers but I don't know about new design because I like I like that design it's a nice badge yeah apart from people thinking

you're from Chepstow yeah weird that so has that happened more than once twice that's officially more than once yeah twice there That's officially more than once. Yeah, twice.

It's double once. Yeah. It was double once. It's happened double once to me. It's happened double once to you, right? Yeah. I like that. Yeah, double once is good, yeah.

Oh, yeah. So, tell me more. I mean, we've got nothing else fucking planned for this show, do we? No, we're just doing some admin and catching up. Oh, this is admin? Yeah, it's an admin episode. What admin? Well, first of all,

thank you for everyone who came to the show. You said that four times now. I'm saying it again. And people have been asking are we thinking about doing more live shows? Was there nothing funny

about when they thought you were Chepstow? No, it's kind of it really. There was nothing funny, that's it, they just thought it said Chepstow. She goes,

oh, do you come from Chepstow? No. Your badge says Chepstow. Please come from Chepstow, please let me talk about Chepstow, I do you come from chepstow no your badge says chepstow please come from chepstow please let me talk about chepstow i'm gonna talk about chepstow i love chepstow i had to leave chepstow as a child it was a disaster for me and then i always think on a sunday afternoon oh what if i hadn't left chepstow all those years ago i'd be someone now i'd be someone in chepstow. Fuck me. Come on. Give her a backstory.

I've gone manic. I feel like I'm going to die. So it's a she from Chepstow. Hello. Does she talk like this? Hello. Would she talk like that from Chepstow? I don't know. You said she was there all her life. I've been in Chepstow my whole life. But she obviously sounds

from the north. Oh, I don't know. God. Say Chepstow. Say Chepstow. I love it. Chepstow. Say it again. Anyway, welcome to Chepstow. The podcast about Chepstow. One more time. Chepstow.

Sure. One of the things we did want to say about the live show is If you were there on the day you picked up a printed out copy of The Cheap Show Magazine Brilliantly made by our favourite Get the name right Get the name He's looking at his phone ladies and gentlemen

You are terrible with the names of ladies who like the show Do you know what it is? It's like I don't trust myself to get it right, so I hesitate and then I err on the wrong side. Yven. Yven Meckling. Mecking. Mecking.

Fucking hell, man. Anyway, she was in charge of all of that and she helped print them all out and get them posted and at considerable cost. So if you want to say thank you to us, how about saying thank you to her instead? Go and reach out to her on Twitter and maybe drop her a few pence in her PayPal. Just see if you can help her.

Because those magazines were great. And everyone got a signed one, didn't they? That was nice. Except when you fucking got impatient and just walked outside for a cigarette halfway through. I never did that. You fucking did it twice. No, I never. You did.

You were like, fat nish. And just walked out the door. No, I didn't. And then I could see you from the window go. As I'm like saying, he'll be back in a minute. He'll be back in a minute. I'll sign it. Small talk.

Where's Eli? We like Eli more. Oh, Paul. Boo. Yeah. I never done that. I never done nothing wrong. You fucking. I. I never done nothing wrong. You fucking...

I've not never done nothing wrong. You just walked out of there and go, I'm fucking sick of this. I just walked out for a fag. So? And you were pissed. You were rotten pissed by the end of the night as well. Fuck off.

You were rotten pissed. I did not drink during or before either of the shows I had my first drink like a professional would you know when fucking Laurence Olivier came off stage he had a very stiff gin and tonic

on his knob balanced he would slurp down gin and tonic after he'd come off but only after Paul not before there's video footage of you supping a Guinness He would slurp down gin and tonic after he'd come off. But only after, Paul! Not before! There's video footage of you supping a Guinness at the beginning of the first show, which is only two in the afternoon.

You lush! You terrible lush! Apart from the odd shot I was given afterwards, that were the only two drinks I drunk were the two Guinnesses. That's one pint every two hours. Then I was very kindly bought a number of whiskies by several people after the second show ended.

And then it all got... Fuck off. And then you just get all shouty and you're touchy and you get leery. Yeah, it was fun. I was having fun. I don't fucking want you having fun. How dare you? How dare you have fun? Listen, I certainly wasn't having fun. I don't fucking want you having fun. How dare you? How dare you have fun?

Listen, I certainly wasn't having fun on stage with your fucking blocking and lack of professionalism. That's it, I'm fucking done with this fucking podcast. He's gone again, he's gone again, ladies and gentlemen. I'm walking out. He's walking out. He's actually got to the door. He's got the...

He's opening the door. He's locked me in. I've locked him in. Oh, he's taken my pants off. He doesn't want it, but he's going to get it. I'm sick. I'm actually quite unwell, everybody. So don't take it as gospel, whatever I say.

Can we just say this episode is not canon? I'm trying to reach a broad audience with this podcast. I'm trying to make it mainstream. An audience of broads. The ladies. That's what Jimmy Biscuits would say. Jimmy Biscuits is now dead. Oh, wow.

Luckily, I've been working on a new character, Paul. Yeah. Little Timmy Biscuits. Timmy Biscuits. Oh, go on. He's Jimmy's nephew. Right. Oh.

Hello. Right. Oh! Hello. Sounds like Paul Daniels so far. Well, he's not coming yet. You've scared him off. You've scared little Timmy Biscuits off. Oh, shit, then, if he's just... Well, he tried to speak and you mocked him. He's very shy.

Oh, what an awful character. Oh, there off he goes. What an awful character. He'll be back, don't worry. No, he won't be if he's that shy so he's gone what an awful character oh there off he goes what an awful character he'll be back don't worry no he won't be if he's that shy if Jimmy Biscuits is dead

Timmy Biscuits that's what Timmy Biscuits after the live show was last seen walking along the canal right near Camden

yeah right yeah and apparently and this is the story is that he was met in one of those on the passes on the canal

you know when a road goes over it? Yeah. Bridge. That's what I was talking about. He met a tall, dark stranger with glowing red eyes. Who's giving you this story? This is just what I heard on the grapevine. Right?

Okay. And so there was a howl and a splash. And then no one's seen Jimmy Biscuit since. But they say, if you go down to the canals at midnight and you listen very carefully above the bubbling and the babbling of the water you can hear well that's why that's such a very strange coincidence actually isn't it then yeah that little timmy biscuits has just turned up. Out of the blue. Basically, a crate was delivered to my door. Yeah. And I was like, what the fuck is this?

From America? It says, from the yonks. Yonks? It's from the yonks. It's from the yonks. Yeah, and I was like, oh, it must be something not live. But then there was a little scratching. Oh. No, Timmy Biscuits is not a

turntable. That's a shame. And there he was, a little feral child. And you've... I thought we were going to get to hear from him today, but you've scared him off. Well, he just needs to, you know, fucking... He's coming. Is he?

Yeah. Don't worry. Yeah. Well, I quote-unquote look forward to that. Look forward to that, everyone. Little Timmy Biscuits taking the role, the mantle of the now maybe deceased by a werewolf. Some kind of canal dwelling werewolf.

Yeah, so we just don't know what's happened to Jimmy Biscuits. He was last seen. He lurks by the canals. The lupine wolf. If you've seen Jimmy Biscuits out and about, I'll break it down what he looks like. Me. He looks like me. He looks just like you, doesn't he?

And dresses like me. The only thing that is different, really, is the terrible New York accent. The authentic New York accent. The authentic, beautiful New York accent. Paul, weren't we going to do something on this podcast today? Weren't we going to look at something? Yeah, we're going to. Christ, because I'm running out of energy with this bit, I'll tell you that. Fuck off.

I'll fucking tell you that. I'll end this segment on one last piece of news. What segment? This segment-ish. Fuck's sake, I've got a very busy life right now. Right? I've got people demanding stuff. I've got people crying out for me. Oh, Paul!

I've got that. I demand your willy! And we've got special episodes lined up. Put the willy in! I've got a special episode! Sorry. Sorry, yeah. Special episodes like what?

That's interesting. You want to go to Brent Cross, don't you? Yes! Okay, now let's just... Oh, he's perked up now. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, there will be a Brent Cross special episode. Me and Paul will take the pilgrimage from... We'll go all the way from here in Harrogate,

on bus, to Brent Cross Shopping Centre, on the outskirts of Lundro. The worst fucking idea. And we'll walk around Fenwick's, and there's also a John Lewis, and we'll look at the place where the old wooden statues used to be, which you could play on near the Waitrose, and we'll do some games, and it will all be a lovely day for everyone involved. Look forward to that.

That's what we've got planned, so there you go. What other special episodes have we got? We're going to do your noodle special, and then we've got this one coming up, which I'm announcing to you as well, because I don't believe you've been following it online. Let's see. But basically the Cheap Show

fan base, the Cheapskates, they are putting together a Cheap Show award. I did notice this. Oh you did know about that did you? I did notice it and I'm lurking you know. You lurk. So I thought I'd announce that so anyone listening can go ahead and vote

for uh what they've got planned so let me find like the right reddit page jibbly jibbly jibbly jibbly so the cheapskate choice awards 2018 if you go to our reddit page reddit.com forward slash r forward slash cheap show there is a uh a post there that says announcement cheapskate choice awards are now live there's a google docs would you like to know what the categories are yes

yeah what are the categories I'm going to fucking click on it now aren't I bring it up here we go favourite episode

that's one I know which one mine is what is it going to be what would you pick I don't know are you For episode, that's one. I know which one mine is. What is it going to be? What would you pick? I don't know. Are you... Funniest moments.

That's a character. I know what my one would be. No, no, no. No, you don't. Are you funny? I can't think of anything. Favourite character? Jimmy Biscuits.

I know. Fuck off. Would it be Jimmy... Say Jimmy Biscuits is best Say Jimmy Biscuits is best. Jimmy Biscuits is best. There you go. At being the worst character. At being the worst character.

No, come on. Jimmy Biscuits is... Richard Brandoff, is he? Off, off, off. I'm Richard Brandoff. Margaret, you fucking slut. Yes, exactly. That's it.

No, that is the sign of a good character, that both of us can do it. Do you know what I mean? I guess. All right. Character you'd most want to make a reappearance. Ah. Yeah.

Timmy Biscuit. Timmy Biscuit, if he can come out of his little hole. Yes. Favourite segment. That's a category. I would vote for any segment I win in which is not many. So this will be good. This will be good for us

as the podcast creators, Paul. It will give us a little nudge in what they want us to actually be doing. Do you know what they don't want us to be doing? What? Some fucking off-the-wrist

fucking two-hour ramble where I'm fucking sick and we've got nothing. I've not even tasted anything or guessed the price of anything this episode. Favourite price of shite moment. Favourite cheap eat moment. Favourite noodles reviewed. Oh, I wonder what the noodle

will win. You wanted that Tomkatsu thing. It's not my favourite noodle. Oh. It was that ribbon noodle was my favourite. Oh, that was nice. The broad ribbon. Come on, that is an untestable noodle. Favourite food reviewed. Favourite an untestable noodle. Favourite food reviewed. Favourite tales from the shop floor. Favourite game played.

Favourite guest appearance. Favourite Paul moment. Favourite Eli moment. That's it. Favourite quote. Maybe it's Eli going... Paul. Favour favourite cheap show moment on Barshans they're your categories

oh they're good categories so if you listen to the podcast regularly and you have an opinion go to the reddit page look for that and fill out the google docs online and here's what we're going to do what are we going to do Paul tell me now what we're going to do. What are we going to do, Paul? Tell me. Tell me now what we're going to do.

Because you know Rhiannon? Yeah. She's putting all this together. So God bless you. God bless you. She's going to put all the nominations together, forget the final results, and then we will do, as one episode,

the Cheap Show Awards. So we will do it like, you know, a shit Oscars. And will we have clips of all the bits? Yeah, I'll find the clips of the winning bits. Well, obviously, I'll have to know the answers. That's going to be so meta, isn't it? Yeah. But then me and you can read out bits,

and the nominees are. Yeah, yeah. We can read out three or four of them in clips. It'll be fun. We'll do that. That'll be fun. We'll do an awards show. I'm really looking forward to that, genuinely.

So am I. Good. Because I like it when people talk about us, and they say how great we are. But there should be a character. There is. Greatest, awful, unfunny moment. Rayanen, add unfunniest misjudged comedy moment. Well, that would just be everything else,

wouldn't it? Everything else. And the Brent Cross episode, if you like a bit of melancholy mixed in with your poo humour, I'll be waning. I'm waning. What are you talking about? I'm sick.

Right, we're going to do another segment and it's a segment this time. Oh right, I'm looking forward to an actual segment-y segment because that last segment didn't have enough segment-ness. Eli Silverman who died today segment

segment shut up if it hasn't worked just don't bother oh what a chunky segment Cadbury's chunky segments

yeah that's fucking excellent what would it be though it'd just be a segment wouldn't it full of what it'd just be chunky it would be

what I'd like is a sort, wouldn't it? But full of what? It'd have to be chunky. It would be, what I'd like is a sort of updated Turkish Delight style thing. But what would the centre be? Like a fruit gum? No, no. Chunky segments are like a cross between a lion bar and a drifter. Alright, but with segments?

Yeah, that you can snap them off irregularly. Very good. And it's like, come on, love, come on, love. Come over here. I'll give you a chunky segment. Would that be the advertising? The advertisement would be a man and a wife on a couch. And it's a bit of a dingy couch and a bit of a dingy flat. And so you're the girl.

So the music comes up. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Oh, sweetheart. What do you want, love? I don't half fancy a chunky segment Come here I'll put a big chunky segment in your gob Can you feel it's fucking nutty goodness Come on love

It's full of fondant Cadbury's chunky moments Swallow that Right what's... You got the name wrong, man. What does that say? Chunky Moment. Chunky Segment, man.

Oh, dear. Cadbury's Chunky segment then Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear

Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear touch with me or cheap show and said oh i've seen cheesy moments and then walkers got in touch and they say they're real don't they said they're real and they've just put what the fuck is going on about that what is going on what because they imply paul there's a what is going on what is going on i want the truth i want there to be an inquiry an inquest i want there to be are they just being uh disingenuous and just trying to keep the interest alive. Because they don't manufacture them anymore. And there's that information. We had one article saying that they'd been discontinued

back in 2010. What's the real? What's real, Walkers? What's the real deal? What's the story, man? What's the story behind the story? What's actually going on with the cheese moments, yeah? Do you think cheese moments are some kind of... MK Ultra kind of thing?

Well, they made them, but they were too fucking good, and people go, I need cheesy moments. They're too addicted to them. Well, we have to cut back on these, because they're turning people ravenous. Paul, it's an interesting theory, but you know what goes against it?

Everything, because it's bollocks? Yes, but also just on a basic level, of the three, the triumvirate of Walker's moments, they're the least strong. I mean, they're at least in position number two, aren't they? I can't even remember what the texture of them is now. It's just that weird, it's exactly like the filling in a combi, combo. Oh, is it like a little kind of corn shell? It's a cheesy fondant.

Oh. It's a crisp outer triangle. In my head, I thought it was like a cheese savoury. It's a savoury. What do you mean it is a cheese savoury? No, but you know cheese savouries are those little bags you get and they're all little biscuits, tiny little biscuits. Oh no, it's got a filling, a cheese-flavoured moment filling inside. Okay.

Which is just like that fake stuff that isn't cheese that you get in a combo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, this is very intriguing to me. Because they actually were tweeting, weren't they? Yeah. Walkers, not Walkers, Smith.

Walkers. No, it was from Walkers. But these are Smith-branded products, aren't they? They tweeting, weren't they? Yeah. Walkers, not Walkers, Smiths. Walkers. No, it was from Walkers. But these are Smiths-branded products, aren't they? They were, because Smiths have been bought by Walkers. No, and I think the Smiths have been dropped. But at first, they kept the Smiths branding on them. Either fucking way. What's the story?

What the fuck's going on? It's a temporary problem on the holding back? Or it's been since 2010? I think they're only available in certain demographics. Certain markets in the UK, they still put them out. It's like a very limited release. I think the North East, that seems to be where the people I've heard are saying, oh yeah, I get

them all the time. They seem to be from that part of the world, the North and North East. It's just a very big mystery. It's intriguing to me. Yeah. And if anyone can get an actual bag of these cheese flavour moments, we'll go and we, well, there's a gap in our fucking League of Snacks. We haven't touched the League of Snacks in a while. We need to get cheese flavour moments. We want them. We'll go and we will. There's a gap in our fucking League of Snacks and Crisps. We haven't touched the League of Snacks in a while.

We need to get back to that. We need to get back on the League of Snacks and Crisps. We need to get back on the League of Crabs. I did a crab today. Oh, it touched the sides. Just enough. I said crabs, not craps. League of Crabs.

Crabs, she said. Yeah. As in scuttlies. Yeah. Which brings us back to the scribbles. There they are. There they are. They've been feasting today, Paul.

On the skiddies. They feast on skiddies. Yeah, they do. On that grub. Yes, unfortunately they do. It's like... That is the noise of a scribble feasting on... But, Paul, seeing as I'm quite hygienic,

I can't actually produce skiddies. I don't do that. You don't know. They can sense them out. I have to buy skiddies in to keep the scribbles alive. I go down to the pet shop. Little boy skiddies. They like young boy skiddies.

Well, that went went unpleasant pretty quickly. It's the truth, though, Paul. Is it? And it's all about the truth on this show. Is it? Yes. And the truth is we feed. And we want the truth from Smith, UNESCO, whatever the fuck the brand is behind them.

They're trying to be all nice, aren't they? On the tweet. On the tweet. Oh, yeah, we do that. I'm the tweet guy. Who is he? He's probably a fucking robot. He's a crisp-powered robot.

Yeah. He probably works off fucking... He works off skips, but the cheese and onion flavoured ones. probably a fucking robot. He's a crisp powered robot. He probably works off fucking... He works off skips, but that cheese and onion flavoured ones. It's fucking Russia. That's why you never see those. Russia getting involved in our crisp manufacturing. They are. They're spreading disinformation about what is real. The triumvirate

of snacks shall be reunited. All hail the triumvirate. Right. Was this the section that was? No. I just wanted to bring that up because when we talk about chunky moments, it inspired me to think about cheesy moments.

Good. Thanks for bringing that up. But it's important. It's important to this show. And we're going to stay on top of this because this is breaking news. As it happens, we will report upon it. We certainly will.

Hashtag cheese moments. Hashtag never give up. Yes. Right. Yeah. I want the real deal. Well, so what I thought I'd do in this segment is talk about kind of everything that's happened and show a few things off. So obviously when people came to the live show, we got a fucking ton of stuff.

It was a tsunami of tat. It was food, tat, treasures. We're banking all of that. I'm going to spread it out across the next few episodes because we've got a ton of great stuff it was a riverbore of bullshit some of the things I'm looking forward to

thank you the Care Bears album that we were donated look at this bag of novelty rubbers I've just got here look at that who gave you them

Shainer feel the gurt wait it's a fucking gurt for that bag of rubbers show us here we go

this is what it is shall I unbox these think of this segment as a show and it is. Shall I unbox these? Think of this segment as a show and tell, all right? I'll just unbox these. Yeah. So over the course

of the next few episodes, we're going to go through the food and treats that you gave us. So let's just start here. Go on, then. This is a whole bag of novelty erasers

or rubbers. Did you get a full chub on when that bag was given? I'm getting a mental chub on now. Mental chub on. Now, look at that, Paul. That's battleships. They're called razor boats,

but it is presented as battleships. Like a grid. Yeah, on a grid. And they're red and blue boats. I really like that. You know what it is? It's like clean and cute. And I don't know.

It's a nice thing. You can play with it because it says it with gamepad. That little thing on the background is a little pad of paper so you can actually play you can play it's a working

game of battleships I wouldn't want to use them for rubbers they're too fun no I wouldn't I'll be treasuring these out of five

I prefer the more sort of kooky end of the market okay so go on then what is that I'll give it a three

out of five three what have we got now there? Oh, now this is kooky, isn't it? If there's anything you can say is kooky, it's this. I presume this is Japanese. Yes. Yes, because there's Japanese writing on the back. It's food rubbers.

It's food rubbers. There's a, what looks like a fish, and then maybe that's a cup, a little kind of... It's a cup, yeah. It's a teacup. It's a frying pan with a big egg in. It's a big, when you say big, it's like an ostrich. It's a teacup. It's a frying pan with a big egg in. It's a big... When you say big, it's like an ostrich. It's huge, Jack.

It's much bigger than the frying pan. There's more egg than pan. There's also a little bento box with rice in and some veggies and sushi. That's cool. I love that. I like the bento box. And then, finally, a big plate, a big presented plate of what I presume is greens, carrots, possibly some kind of potatoes,

and then a big load of purple mystery meat. I like that. Very good. And on the same vein, there's a little tea set with some toast and jam. Oh, I fucking love that tea set. Look at the little fucking tray. It's on a lovely little tray. Little tray. I like the fact that the bread's got different layers on and different paperwork.

And the cup, it's got cup of tea in. It's got cup fact that the bread's got different layers on and different paint work and the cup it's got cup of tea in it's got cup of tea in it's a cup of tea yeah hang on how much are you going to rate that last one then that is a good

four and a half I mean that's that is like giving me a chub yeah that's full on an eraser chub an eraser chub like

like my penis is is engorged but you look closely and it is actually an eraser your penis I'll rub out your fanny My penis is engorged, but you look closely and it is actually an eraser. Your penis? Oh, rub out your fanny! Mate, can you imagine how horrible that would be if your penis was an eraser? It would be bad.

You'd put it against a lady or anyone. And it rubbed down. It rubbed out. Every time you wanked it, you rubbed it down. Yeah. And you got all this sort of... Oh, I've got Tippex coming out! Right.

That didn't follow. But anyway. It did! This next one. Let's have this next one Okay wait You're getting over excited Calm down

Oh look at all these erasers Look calm down So how much do you rate The little tea set I mean It's I love this One of my favourite erasers

Of all time Yeah I love that Five Yeah That's great Next It's a five

Now this I won't give As high a score Oh But still Why These are more, I guess. Okay. Oh, I see.

Yeah. This is a little lion, and it's legs. It is an eraser, isn't it? Yeah. But its legs are hinged. It has hinged legs, so there's a sort of toy aspect. Like a wooden lion toy. It looks like a wooden lion toy.

Like a wooden toy. It's cute. Yeah. It's nowhere near as delicate and intricate as that. You got three for that one? toy. It's cute. Yeah, it's nowhere near as delicate and intricate as that. You got three for that one? Yeah, three's fine. Is this from Ikea?

Because it's like... I think Serena bought them all in one store. Oh. A rubber shop. Or she just had them lying around. No, I think it was a Japanese store. Japanese rubber store. Because on the actual show, she presents one for the price of shite.

She gave us a... What? Statue of Liberty. Oh, Pyro. Yeah. And that, she said, was from a Japanese store and it's mentioned. for the price of shite she gave us a what Statue of Liberty oh biro yeah and that was she said was from a Japanese store

and it's mentioned so some kind of Japanese American tourist trap there's a perfectly lovely little penguin it's a perfectly lovely little pingu-esque penguin

that sounds like a scribble no scribbles are and pingu's more okay good good Sounds like a scribble. No, scribbles are... And pingu's more... Good, good, good, Paul. Yes, good, Paul. Yes, good. Yes.

What's this, though? Now we're entering the realm of... We... I'm Jimmy Biscuit. No, you're not Jimmy Biscuit... I'm Jimmy Biscuit. No, you're not Jimmy Biscuit. I'm coming through. You're coming through what? I don't know. What's going on? Paul, fucking

shut up. Right. Right. Thank you. Now, what's this? I don't know. It's a winky head. It's a winky baddie from Anime Head. It's a winky bad face. Unless the eyes fell off. But no, it looks like he's winking baddie from Anime Head. It's a winky bad face. Unless the eyes fell off. But no, it looks like he's winking. I don't know, but it's a curious little chap.

I would say that's two, though. Nothing too remarkable. You don't like it that much. What's that piece of cake? The next one's a piece of cake. It's a piece of cake. Hey! There you go.

I like that. That one's nicer. I like the detail on that. Yeah. I'd go for three and a half. Three and a half. Here is a piece of sushi. It's an omelette piece.

Oh, it's got... You know, they've got omelette pieces. Yeah. It's got a little bit of tape around it to give it the whole effect of a... That's not tape. That's nori seaweed that they used to... No, I know, but they've used tape on this.

They've used tape on this. Right. To synthesise... Right. Nori seaweed. Which is the point I was going to get to if I let you fucking let me finish

you throw shit at me this is all fucking falling apart now come on you shit it's a fucking crocodile just like the lion crocodile like the lion too

next he's grown very impatient and bored that's it how many more that's it why didn't you start

on the weaker stuff and end up on the tea tray I was just pulling them out of the bag at random, obviously. It's dark here in the House of Pickles. Yeah. Dark emotionally. It's dark physically, mentally.

It's a dark hole. I'm staring at some source that says pure death. That was also given to us by one of the listeners at the live show. Does it come with a little keychain with a bloody skull on it? I don't know. I haven't opened it. I'm going to open it. But the same person also gave us the ghost chilies.

The ghost chilies which featured on our Halloween episode. Yeah. That was the last episode, in fact, before this, wasn't it? It's our first studio-bound episode before the live too. There's tape on that. I got it. Nom Nuts. Mate. You get a little

skull keychain with it oh that's cool yes that's good that means it's hot and it says Blair on it it's a lovely skull that's a nice little skull keychain

I like that you know at some point we are going to have to do a hot sauce challenge we have to eat that because you've got all those as well I've been going back

to the gherkins yeah I've been going back to the gherkins. Yeah. I've been going back. And you enjoy them? Just for my own. They're a bit like, fuck. They are like,

they're not long lasting but they're intense. It's intense. Yeah, I like it. It's an intense heat. I have been just eating a few. Yeah, did it? Maybe that's why

you've got the flu. But you do, no, they protect against the flu. But those are great erasers and when I get a chance I'm going to display those. Well, there'll be those are great erasers, and when I get a chance, I'm going to display those. Well, there'll be pictures of these erasers on our website,

thecheapshow.co.uk. Yes. Or now, cheapshow.co.uk. We've got that domain as well. Yeah. That's good. You know why? Because Linton put the wrong website address.

Yeah, but how did we get the domain? A fan, I can't remember his name now because I'm awful. He owned it. No, he bought it for us. Oh, that's extremely nice. the domain? A fan. I can't remember his name now because I'm awful. He owned it? No, he bought it for us and then linked that back to the Cheap Show. So I'll mention him in the comments for this episode.

But yeah, thank you to him. I don't want to get his name wrong in case it's even worse. You will get his name wrong. I get everyone's name wrong. Yes, I know. Everyone's though. I know.

Anyway, are we tasting something? In a minute. Alright. I want to show you something I was given when I went to Blackpool. So, I went to Blackpool recently because Biffo, will you stop fucking moving things around when recording? As you were, went to Blackpool because we were

doing a talk about Digitizer, the show, which is now, now on YouTube. Look for Dig digitizer on youtube and start watching it because it's fucking wicked and i'm in it and it's fun and it's silly and eli's in it

is we've got some lovely things coming up so go see digitizer if you like mr biffo from episodes 101 and 100 100 should have done that the other way around first

101 yeah um then you Then you'll enjoy the lot because we get up to on digitising the show, a retro comedy kind of... It's retro gaming. Yeah. A bit of fun. It's all about games, though. Lovely bit of fun.

Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, bikini babes, up and down. Up and down. Anyway, we went to Blackpool and was it part of a larger event it was a retro games convention and we had a show to put on for 90 minutes and it was a lot of fun we had kim justice and slopes people you don't have any idea about but they're all the youtube gamers and um yeah the show was fun but the show, we were doing a kind of show until people bought retro games and game again.

And one guy bought in something that I've wanted for years. And I was joking about saying, oh, I'll nick it off you. But then when we showed it. He nicked it off him. No, he literally said during the live recording, mate, if you want it, you can have that. In front of the whole audience. And he goes, that's yours.

He's had it since he was eight. And now I've got it. And what is it? Oh, he's reaching a cost about glop pads. It is a Tomy game called A-G. So to explain what it is. A-A-A-G-H-H. Yes.

A-A-A-A. A-A-A-G-H-H. Yes. A-A-A-A. A-A-A-G-H-H. Exclamation mark. Arrgh! Yes. It's a Tomy mechanical toy. So, if you've ever seen Screwball Scramble, you know? One of those games where you've got to move a marble around on an assault course by pressing buttons that move levers and tilt tables and things.

It's like one of those enc case in a little yellow plastic thing. In common with a kind of basic labyrinth as well, like a marble labyrinth where you tilt the whole of the playing surface to move the ball around it. But with this, it's got like a little salt course where you run

a little marble down along this pathway going through the little what would you call those? Gates. Gates. So all you've got is one button that says push and that fires off your little

ball bearing across the trap. It's very much got a retro arcade design to it. It's beautiful. It's extremely pleasing. I didn't know this until I was like looking into this but Tomy did another one called Wow. Right.

And it's exact same concept but while this was flat on a table you play it. Yes. Wow is upright so you've got to bounce the ball and fire it around. More like a

Plotinco or whatever. And like remember Kong Man we played on Boshes. Which is a vertical place to play. Also made by Tomy. Right.

So he gifted me this. So Tomy would have a license with Nintendo at the time, though. Well, that would have been Sega. Sega had Donkey Kong. No, oh, sorry, with Kong Man. It was absolutely nothing to do with Nintendo. They basically went, it's a monkey, but it looks like a bit of a robot. So no, it's Kong Man.

What were Tomy known for? Didn't they do trucks and stuff like that? Tomy just did board games and toys. a robot and all blah blah blah. So no, it's Kong. What did Tommy, what were Tommy known for? Didn't they do trucks and stuff like that? No, Tommy just did like board games and toys

in general. Toys for like children. Tonka, I'm thinking of Tonka. They did the trucks. Tonka, yeah.

Tommy basically sturdy, you know, toys, plastic, and some were little things like this or like screwball scramble and some were just more like

kids first plastic laptop kind of stuff, you know? I love, I have to say, this ARC, I love everything about it. I had to take the battery out, because every time you nudge it, the timer goes off. So, do you want to have a little go of it? Yes, I definitely do. All right, it's very loud, so you've got to roll all the balls up to the top, all the balls up to the top, and you're going to need a flat surface to do it on. Do I have to get all the balls up to the top all the balls up to the top and you're going to need a flat surface to do it on do I have to get all the balls up the top first?

yeah because you've got to start at the top and then roll them down there? yeah you see that red button at the top? that's your next ball coin why is there one caught there? I don't know

you have to give it a shake oh he's fucking broke it you broke my fucking toy I haven't broken it you broke my fucking toy You broke my fucking ah get off Stop it You set it up for me. They weren't all at the top right? Why did you start it because you nudged it?

It's a very sensitive timer. Well, don't nudge it D. Nudge it Right. I've D. Nudged it right right and they, are they all there? All the balls are at the top. Okay. And you fire them off one at a time with the red button. Right, at the red button. So whenever you want, all you've got to do is just tilt that timer down and it starts the, yeah? We're starting now.

Can I start? All right. So I release a ball, yeah? Yeah. And what am I trying to do? Before we get started, that white button is the only button you need to hit. And you've got to time your jumps to get through each trap. So you've got the little bridge there.

You've got the little blue disc that rotates. You've got the little pipe with a magnet on. You've got the drawbridge, the wonky bridge. Someone said, when we were reviewing this at Digitizer, they said, it's the Dark Souls of Tomy Games. Which means it's very difficult. It's fucking hard as nails. I have had a crack at this for ages and I

cannot get as far as that yellow disc at the bottom. You can't get any ball past that. Mate, I've fucking tried and I... You know when you rage quit playing a video game? That nearly went out a window. Really? Don't break it. It's such a beauty. No, I didn't. I stepped away. Okay, so I'm just going to have a go. I'm not expecting a lot

then. Right, so I'm just going to tilt it to start. Ready? Yeah. Go. The time is set'm just going to tilt it to start. Ready? Yeah. Go. The time is set. So he's got it. He's banging it. He hit to the blue disc. Now he's got to time that right.

That's perfectly timed there. The drawbridge raises and closes. Oh, he gets through. Now he's got to jump on the magic pipe. And he's been caught by the magnet. And it's been put onto a drawbridge. And now he's lost the ball. It's already gone down.

How did that happen? Because it flicked it out. You've got to time it so when it's flat, you can get across. Red button at the top releases your next ball. So he's back again to the turn-style trick. He jumps over that, but it takes a few turns. There he goes. It's over.

It's back to the blue twisty disc, and he's crossed that easily. I had a bit of a problem with that. Oh, and he's across the. It's back to the blue twisty disc and he's crossed that easily. I had a bit of a problem with that. Oh, and he's across the little bridge and back to the magnetic pipe but this time he was unsuccessful. And, you know, you said it out loud. Oh, so it's good.

He's going to go across again from the top to the blue disc. He's across and he's done it. He's missed it. He mistimed it. So there we go. Back on to the top trap again. The spinning disc. Now on to the blue flipper disc.

It's going down. Eli's looking very very involved right now. He looks content. Oh and he's fucked it. That's four out of his five points. This is my last go. You've got a last go. My best one was the first one, wasn't it? You haven't got much time. So you've cleared one, two, three, four, four out of the 12 obstacles.

Oh! And that's it. I could get addicted to doing that. You could get addicted to playing that. Because I sunk a good solid hour of my time into that and you only got how far did i got as far as that yellow rotating disc thing that's how far it was fucking mind-boggling and then oh no i didn't i got to that little red drawbridge but i couldn't cross it i couldn't figure out what i needed to do yeah the very bottom red drawbridge that kind of goes side to side of this yeah okay there's something about

all those did it then yeah but. You were only two obstacles away. Yeah, but look at that last little blue disc with two little divots in for your ball. You have to get in the divot. That's going to be tough. Yeah.

So you see what I mean when I say it's hard? It's like trial and error, but by the time you remember how to do one thing. That is just so excellent. Beautiful, isn't it? They wouldn't make toys

like this now, would they? No. Would they? I mean, they probably do, but without as much love. Have you seen this? That ball labyrinth. That came out of this century.

Yeah. I would like a go on that. Yeah. I saw one on a charity shop actually. It was 20 quid, but it was the Death Star. So all the insides are themed around taking your little ball through the Death Star

and jumping onto an X-Wing. I'd like to have a go at those. Paul, I have to say, I had a lot of fun playing that. It's a lot of fun, isn't it? So I got given that.

I love the fun. Everything about it screams 80s. Mid-80s. It's almost like... But not in a nasty way, in an actual sort of cool way. No, in a very cool way. Colourful. It's really colourful, sort of sleek.

It's almost like an alien spaceship or... You know, it's... Yes. It's lovely. These days, it would maybe all be curved and balled. How much do they go for online they go

between any third between 10 and 40 quid depending on the condition or if it's working so he made a

lovely gift that's in lovely condition there's a bit of scratching on the on the prospects but ultimately

it's like works beautiful works brilliantly and I put it online on a few social media things and the number of

people going I want it because it's just social media things and the number of people going I want it because it's just got it's when we talk about like nostalgia this is nice nostalgia it's not laboured

where it's like oh do you remember Tetris no everyone remembers Tetris yeah yeah yeah it was like do you remember playing ah no

it's that thing and everyone goes oh yeah the stuff that just was the minutiae of your life then. Yes. And it's funny, nostalgia sometimes works like that, doesn't it?

It's the stuff you didn't really pay attention to at the time. They just sort of formed the background of existence. Yeah. That then really makes an impact later on. But it has made me feel about getting the wow one, getting the bright one. Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to do that

and I think there's another one but I can't remember I think there's three of that type yeah one's flat and the other two

are upright but they're quite costly and rare oh really I've seen them on ebay and I don't know from quite ready upwards of £100

no nothing like that but I'm not ready to sink maybe £20 or £30 on one not really okay so we'll see yes I love these kind of things

I like automaton toys a lot and that's a great example. Because you know, a lot of automaton toys, you just turn it on, you put a ball in and it does it all by itself. Yeah, that's an actual game. That's a game. It's a real game. It is closest for me to something like a labyrinth, isn't it?

You just have to time each obstacle. Labyrinth, screwball, scramble, it's got a bit of everything. Screwball scramble is a bit more ornate because of the different variety of tracks. And that one we played on Barshens, what was it, Kong one? Yeah, the Kong one. That was Tomy as well. Yeah. That was a lot easier than that, wasn't it?

Yeah, by and large, it's considerably easier than that. It's easier than that, yeah. But even that one has its little problems, like the drawbridge is quite hard and the jump up the side of the mountain's quite tough. But it's the same sort of game gameplay. You're timing a lever. Yeah. Basically flicking a ball about. You're flicking a bean about.

You're flicking a big bean, bean, boom, ball, bean, bean, ball, bean, ball, bean, ball about. What? You're flicking a bean, bean, ball, bean, ball, bean, bean, ball, bean, ball about. Well you just panicked and thought we hadn't said anything funny or stupid for about 20 minutes. Passionate and informative. So now you have to make a stupid noise about 20 minutes. No, it's been quite passionate and informative. So now you have to make a stupid noise with your mouth.

I've already made. Don't. Don't. Scoffing. Imagine having sex like that. Imagine having sex like that. Off. Off. Off.

Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Off. Right. Right. So to end this segment today

When I was in Blackpool I went and had a look at some It's really annoying When you do that shit But at least I'm professional And go along with it And I got the Cheap Show Blues. We come to the end of the show

and I got the Cheap Show Fever Blues. I'm unwell. I know. Oh, I know. So what have we got to finish off the show now, Paul? Well, I went to a few charity shops in Blackpool, but honestly, I didn't find anything too amazing there. In fact, if I can be blunt,

I found Blackpool depressing as fuck. You saw a lady with curlers in her hair throw a rubbish bag and miss the bin. I was walking up this street as I was walking towards the hotel, and it was a bit run down, lots of bed and breakfast that looked well dodgy. And then this woman comes out of her door,

front door, with a bin in her hand. And she looks left and there's a bin where she'd put her thing in. Was she smoking a fag? She had a fag. She didn't have rollers in, but she did have a fag in her mouth. She had a fag in her mouth. Yeah, and she was wearing like, you know, sports... Tracky bottoms. That said juicy written on the side.

Oh, God. That kind of thing. Oh, God. Anyway, she looks at the bin and then she just takes the bin bag and then just juicy written on the side. Oh, God. That kind of thing. Oh, God. Anyway, she looks at the bin, and then she just takes the bin bag and then just throws it towards the bin across the garden. And it spills everywhere. And she just goes, and then closes the door. And I was like, Paul, I think you can join me in saying, what a stupid, poor, uneducated, stupid, poor bitch. Well, poor has no real fundamental influence on behaviour.

By and large. But I think she's given up. Poor! She's given up. That's what we want on this show. We only want rich people listening to this show. We're going to do Richo from now on. She should have been able to afford a conveyor belt.

What? The rubbish. That she could put each bit of rubbish on individually and drop it in a bin and go is it made of straw right I'm just going to carry on because I think

you fucking lost it I have lost it I have lost it right well let me carry on then what have you got in the bag get out of the bag

what have you got in the bag what have you got in the bag don't hit me do you want to fucking punch I'll do a character

no more characters I'll do a character no more characters I said this stops I'll do a character. No more characters. I'll do a character. No more characters. I said this stops. I'll do a character. Let's do this segment. Because it's time to go back to the froth shop. I've got a greasy old knob.

Hey! Shut up. So, we're in the froth shop. I've got a greasy knob knob hey shut up so we're in the froth shop I've got a greasy knob in the froth shop and I've got some cheap and not so I'm squeezing it

shh this is it no stop Paul Paul alright I'll be good just get I'll be good I can't take this

I'll be good I'll be good you're ill I'll be good and we're both over 40 it'll be fine I was just doing a thing Where I'm in the shop

With my knob out I think that's a good way To go into it So I run my thrift shop And you come in With your cock out Yeah Oh mister

Oh got any Pineapple cubes Fucking Look at the redness Of my knob Right well that's Going to be Terrible for business

Oh I'll go then Sorry Oh do you see Gannon's thrift shop I'd go in there but there's an angry small man with his cock out all the time

spraying out jism and calling it pineapple chunks. He's very, he's very, he keeps shouting would you like a chunky moment? Come on.

Get out the froth. Chunky, chunky segment. So I went into a little sweet shop. It was one of these kind of really odd corner shops. In Blackpool?

Yeah. Weird corner shop. And I only went in there initially just to get like chewing gum. And then I saw this shelf full of like weird sweets. So I thought, let's get them. For the froth shop. Ah, ting-a-ling-a-ling. It's the froth shop. Here we go.

Now one of these things I think you're going to be very interested in because we were talking about it not too long ago. So I'm just going to bank that for now. Okay. And start with something familiar. Say what you see. Here we have it. It's long and thin. Ew.

Come on. And it's Chupa Chups. It's a cola sticks. S-T-I-X. But it's made by Chupa Chups. Yeah. So it's not a lollipop. It's a weird kind of... Chupa Chups are branching out. And this looks like... It says cola. So it's not a lollipop. It's a weird kind of... Chupa Chups are branching out. And this looks like... It says cola. So you've got a red outside.

But I can see there's a white, almost fondant-y style in the centre. So it might be like a gummy-esque tube filled with a sweet fondant. Because you know what puts me off of getting a Chupa Chups? What? The fact that it's like hard. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? You don't like sucking something hard.

Basically, it'd be too hard and bony in my mouth. Shut up, Paul. You know, I wasn't allowed to do a bit about being a child with a big red helmet. No, no. I'm glad you didn't.

But you were allowed to go out and do everything I fucking say. Because what I do implies something. Oh, it's got a very distinct cola huff coming through

the illness of my nose. Yeah. Don't make that sound. Just fucking what am I made of fucking do, man? Eat the Chupa Chups cola sticks. But I'm just saying, it smells of cola. Texture, flavour, tell me what you think. Very nice.

Yeah. They are, aren't they? That's really good. Isn't it? Yeah. I've never seen these before. Very colary. But they have that pleasing softness on the inside. Yeah. It's the chewiness of the outer layer. Yeah.

And you bite into the smooth, soft fondant-y. It's nice. But still with a cola-towel twang to the whole thing. And it's not artificially sweet like some candy can be. And the textures complement each other. It's a satisfying chew. They have strawberry ones, don't they, in Sainsbury's or something, Tesco.

They've got generic ones. No, they're not cola. Oh, they're like this, but they're not Chirpichup's brand. Yes, and they're not cola flavoured. The design is the same, with the fondant scented straw. But this is the best example of that type of sweet I've ever had. Can I finish this, please? Yeah, by all means.

I've got another one here, but I'm going to take a picture of that one for the website. I've already had one before, so I can agree with you. I would give that a solid four froths out of five. Maybe even four and a half. Evil. You could burn through them, but they were cheap. I think like 20, 30p. Maybe not even

that, maybe 20. That's an evil sweet. That's our first. What would you give it out of five froths? I'd give That's an evil sweet. So that's our first. What would you give it out of five, Frost? I'd give it four, but fuck. Fucking hell, that's nice. Yeah. Right, next one. Oh, mate.

If I was a small child, I'd have dreams of it. That. Oh, here's something for you now. Say what you see. Chupa Chups. We're sticking with Chupa Chups. Just for this one more thing. And these are airheads.

Now, these I've seen before Oh have you? Yeah These were 20p, 30p These are Chupa Chups airheads fruit Yeah Intense flavoured chewy candy I again had a pack of these already

You like these? And I like them a lot Now they've got all the primary colours of the rainbow And they actually describe the flavour Which is a detail that I like. They've got a calibrated diagram telling me... So you know what you're getting into. What each colour corresponds to as a flavour.

Because it's not a guessing game. I would like that on all of my sweets. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to be in the dark about what you're trying to fucking tell me. And do you know what this goes right back to? What? Cheese flavoured moments. No, here we go.

It all goes back to the conspiracy. It goes back round to it. The cheese moment conspiracy. If they'd been honest and up front with us about what the triumvirate incorporates and what it means... Anyway.

So you've got green, which is apple. Yeah. Standard. Could be lime. Could be what usually... Could be pine flavoured. Yeah, could be. Could be lime. Could be, but usually... Could be pine flavoured. Yeah, could be.

Could be mint. Blueberry. So that's blue. Could be raspberry again in olden days. Could be in olden days of yore. In flavours of yore. The blue raspberry.

Mr Free's ice pops were blue but they were... And those are days of yore. Days of yore. Sweets of yore. In days of old when nights were bold and condoms weren't invented, you'd wrap a sock around your cock and babies were prevented.

That just came out of somewhere. Strawberry, red. Orange. Orange, orange. Yeah. Orange, orange, orange. Can't go wrong with orange. Lemon.

Lemon. Yellow. That was unedifying. Familiar. Solid. We're liking it. Do you like these? Yeah. I was unedifying. Familiar. Solid. We're liking it. Do you like these? Yeah.

I was impressed. All right. So here we go. Eli, get a hoof. It's a pleasing fruit hoof. Fruity hoof. Pleasing fruit hoof. You can put that on your posters right now, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm going to come out with an apple one, a blueberry one, and an orange one. All right. Have a taste. These are just like soft orange one. All right, have a taste. These are just like soft mints. Yeah, they have a soft mint texture. I like the texture. Or like a, what were those old school ones which were square? We've discussed them.

You know the ones that are tutti frutti. They've got kind of a similar texture, doesn't it? You can only get tutti frutti now in bags of Roundtree's Pick and Mix. They don't exist in any other. Where they put some of them in and a pastel and a fruit gum. Again, going back to the cheese flavoured moments, those were a multi-pack you bought, wasn't it? Yeah. But it only had

the scampi and the bacon. In these ones now, yeah. They are one down. Because then that, you might think they might only do the cheese flavoured moments in multi-packs. But no. You know, like Tic Tacs, you can only get in multi-packs. But no. What's going on there?

What's going on? So, so far, how are you finding the flavor? Nice. Very nice. Texture's nice. Yeah. It's a nice sweet. Three out of five?

I'll give it three, yeah. It's not as impressive as the cola is like. No. Oh, man. It's a problem, that one. Yeah. In that case, let's have a look now in Gannon's Frothy Shop Bar. I just had an orange one of those.

Very good. We'll do this one next, I think. Say what you see. This is not... Not... Chupa Chup. No, we've moved on from Chupa Chups now. This is a miniature drinks can.

Yeah. Pop can. Coca-Cola can, whatever you like. Strawberry candy can. Oh! Now you think, why isn't it cola flavour, drinks can pop can Coca-Cola can whatever you like strawberry candy cans oh now you think why isn't it cola flavour

considering it looks like it comes in a cola can novelty cans yes that's what it is filled fruit flavour sherbet so it's a sherbetty dip dip thing

what have you ever seen a cola sherbet never I never have I wonder why that's a good point I don't think I have they could do it

I mean there's no reason they could. They could fucking do it. They've got the science. They've got a man on the moon and we can't get cola sherbet. What's going on? Cheese moments. Cheese moments. It's our foundational conspiracy, mate.

Yeah. So, how do you open it? It's got a little ring pull on it. Do you pull it? The ring pull is not scale. It's much bigger than it would be in a normal car. Probably for the best. I'm going to treat it as a normal ring pull. Oh that's satisfying. It just pops out and you've just got a little hole.

Oh. So what you can sprinkle it on your hand. You've got to sprinkle a bit of the sherbet. Sprinkle some sherbet. Sprinkle some sherbet on you. It comes up a little hole. That'll do. Little sherberty pellets. Just sprinkle some sherbet. Sprinkle some sherbet on you. Oh, it comes up the little hole. That'll do. Little sherberty pellets. That's what it is.

Oh, it's a very sherberty smell. And this is not very impressive. It's not a great way of delivering candy to your child. I'd like, you know, it's going to drive a kid mad trying to get more sherbet out

than wants to come. Yeah. And the sherbet's very ordinary. Oh, I actually don't like that. No, it's salty. It tastes, you know what it tastes like? Knowing you're sick

and you have that acid-y after flavour in your mouth. It's that. It's that. It's like I've just been sick and I've had the dry retching and this is the coating in my mouth.

I think it's known as butyric acid. I saw it the other day. I'm very disappointed in that. Yeah, it's nasty. One. One. One. I wouldn't really enjoy eating all of that. No. I saw the other day I'm very disappointed in that Yeah it's nasty One One I wouldn't really enjoy eating all of that

No and Just bullshit isn't it really Who's the company that makes that Does it say It's vegetarian But I can't seem to find a company on it That makes it Probably for the best

Because we'd We didn't like it We did not like that So unfortunately That is not a pro shop success Doesn't stand up against the Chupa Chups

products, does it? Not at all. But let's see where we go with our next interesting Sweetie Candy froth shop surprise. Eli, tell me

what you see. Now, this is a grenade. It's a grenade, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, my God. What a load of shit.

Honestly, it just builds up after a while, doesn't it, Phil? What does it say? Sorry, is that in your eye? Yeah. Really in my eye. Sour Blast. Yeah. Candy spray.

Now, I've seen these sprays before, Paul. Yeah, I've seen a spray before, like the Sour Apple one. Yes, but I have not ever seen it presented as if it was a grenade. Yeah, but it implies... With a ring pull and everything. I was just going to open that. It implies explosive flavour, wouldn't you say? Yes.

You know? Flavour grenade. Yeah. It's like that restaurant I saw that was real in Soho called Flavour Bastard. I told you about that. Surely I told you about that. Drinks cunt. Let's go with that plug. Drinks cunt. Yeah. Oh, it's great about that drinks cunt let's go to that pub drinks cunt

yeah oh it's great drinks cunt isn't it it's very trendy I like the micro breweries they have on the site yeah they've got micro breweries done out of his piss

he's actually made from his piss I can't believe it it's a fantastic place and then we can go to nightclub cum hole can I come into cum hole no you can't come into cum hole

oh is it one out, one in? Right, go on. Open it. I'm struggling with the grease on it. There's a plastic wrapping that secures it all. Do you not have a pen or something? What does it say? It says something on it.

It tells you how to... Please dispose of this packaging material before giving to children. Yeah, because kids might eat it. Well, I'm having trouble getting into it. It would definitely block a young child's fucking throat. And because you haven't got very dexterous hands. Oh, right. No.

That's it. You should take candy. No, don't walk out. I'm fucking gone. Don't. Take it back and back, my hands now. All right, your hands are delicate like a fucking fairy liquid model.

He's fucking gone. This is great. I'm going to have a sweet... Look at this. I'm having another Churpa Chups. This one's lemon. I'm not in the mood for your shit, yeah? Five out of ten.

What did you eat? No, just had another one of Churpa Chup. I didn't really walk out, ladies and gentlemen. No, he went to get some scissors. I got some scissors. There. I'm into it. I wish you had fucking walked out.

Oh, there it is. There it is. What do I do then? Read the instructions, you fucking gorilla. Oh, it's falling off. The pin's falling off. Oh, no. We've only got three seconds.

Look out. Oh. Oh. Oh. Spray some of this in your mouth. Oh, do it then. So literally, you just squirt it like it's a little fire extinguisher. I think so, yeah.

Okay. It's coming. I've got to pump it Is it? There you go Give us it Oh it's actually quite nice What flavour is it? I don't know It's cinnamony

No to me it tastes almost like an energy drink It's cinnamony Is it? That's not very nice I mean I don't understand the appeal of this You can't enjoy it like the chirp chip thing like an energy drink. It's cinnamony. Is it? That's not very nice. I mean, I don't understand the appeal of this because you can't enjoy

it like the chirp chip thing. You just get a hit of sugar, blah, blah, blah. You annoy your parents. Oh, you're right. It's got a cinnamon. There is a bit of cinnamon to it. And a bit of sour,

almost like a pineapple flavour. Yeah, maybe. It's a bit of that, but it's got that... Let's see. Let's see what it says. It's got a bit of a Red Bull flavour to it as well.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, well, that taurine kind of feeling sour cola it says cola yeah i mean i guess but i can see what you mean with the cinnamon there is cinnamon in cola a very sweet and there's quite a lot of this and i do not like this sam i am i do not like it no so all right a bit of a gimmick i'd say'd say one. I like that less than the sherbet. This is by a company called Kids Mania. They have no ethics. This is not only

terrible for the world, it's terrible for children. This is a hateful product. Look at it. Spray it on your cock. Why? Fuck's sake. Is that it?

Is your bag full no I've got one last froth I don't think it's the best by any shot but we were talking someone was talking about it

with me recently I thought it was you but what do you see oh tubble gum it is liquid bubble gum

in a sort of toothpaste yeah I've not seen that this was a thing this used to be a thing didn't it yeah definitely in the 90s

it was a thing early to mid 90s a thing, didn't it? Yeah. Definitely in the 90s, it was a thing. Early to mid-90s. Now, how good are you at blowing bubbles, mate? All right. To be honest, I haven't done it in a while. I can do a bubble inside a bubble.

Can you? Yeah. With chewy gum? Yeah, with anything. And that is bubble gum then. It's not just normal chewing gum. Now, in my experience, this...

For those of you who don't know, it's squeezable chewing gum. Bubble gum. Bubble gum. It's pink. It's bubble. Bubble gum. It's not it's in a little... It's pink. It's bubble. Bubble gum.

It's not... It's made by... It's French. Tutti, which means it's like a multi-fruit flavour. Tutti Frutti, isn't it? You squeeze it out the tube like toothpaste? Now, whether you like the flavour of this or not, Paul, will depend on... I think it tastes...

Whether you like the taste of bubble gum. Well, that's a generic... It's going to be the classic taste of bubble gum. It's that Bazooka Joe flavour, isn't it? Yes. And I am having some fucking difficulty getting it to be the classic taste of bubblegum. It's that bazooka Joe flavor, isn't it? Yes. And I'm having some fucking difficulty getting it to come

out the nozzle. Hey, oh. Squeeze it. I'm going to get full face load of your gum. No, you're not going to get a face load

of gum. It's very slow moving. It's glacial gum. Oh. And it's split out the end. Oh, mate. This is terrible.

Just eat some. I'm going to. I'm going to pull it off the end. It looks like a little knob. It does. It looks like a knob. Yes. Oh, mate. This is terrible. Just eat some. I'm going to pull it off the end. It looks like a little knob. It does. It looks like a knob.

Yes. Oh, that's exactly how I remember it from that period. Although the flavour's not quite there. Really? It's very soft. Very soft. Couldn't blow a bubble with it as it is now. It's all falling apart.

Oh, don't. Seriously, don't. It's everywhere down my throat. How are you going to blow a bubble with that? I've got no consistency. No, it's like someone's come in my gob. That's terrible. It's like Bazooka Joe himself has fully blasted my mouth with his spunk load.

That is not bubble gum. No. There's no elasticity. It's got a horrible fucking texture to it. Was it always like this? No. There's no elasticity. It's got a horrible fucking texture to it. Was it always like this?

No. You've just got to chew the fuck out of it before it gets any... Until it what? Thickens? Yeah.

Gets more elastic. I can feel it happening. It's weird. Chewing on this is making me feel nauseous.

It's a slinky barlet which is just... You don't have to. I'm going to keep going. I did not like that. Not very much at all.

No. And that candy, it go in the bin. As well. And the spray, that go in the bin. But you're going to keep those. I'm going to keep the airheads and the fruit. I shouldn't have put these in the bin. I need to take pictures of them now.

And I've just spat a big gob on. I've got to take them out now. Oh, it's on the floor. Oh, no. put these in the bin. I need to take pictures of them now and I've just spat a big gob on. I've got to take them out now. Oh, it's on the floor! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh, I've got it! Paul! Honestly, Paul, calm down.

That was the froth shot. Paul! down. That was the froth shot. Pull. Press stop. That was a successful segment. And that was Cheap Show 102. We keep on going. We keep on trucking.

We certainly do. It's been great to be here, Paul. I just want to say, we do a slightly more, you know, loosey-goosey episode. To say it was loosey-goosey would be to describe it very well. Loosey-goosey. I'm unwell.

I don't feel good. I don't feel good. Please send I generally think I'm going to be sick with that gun. That's really I remember being a kid and loving it and now. It wasn't that bad. Hubba Bubba isn't that bad. No.

But that's just. So soft. It's. Anyway. He's going to blow a bubble. Watch, but that's just... So soft. Anyway. He's going to blow a bubble. Watch, Walt. He's going to blow a bubble. Do it again, you fuck. All right, just do it.

Get a big one. Here we go. All right, okay. We'll skip it then. Skip it. Right. I'm going to spit this out. Yeah, spit it in that bag.

Phew. I don't know why that has let me off so much. Everything sets you off. That's right, Paul. Goodbye from Cheap Shot. Goodbye. If you want to...

Shut up. Let me just get the admin out of the way and then we can go back to bed. Oh, look. Hang on. Hang on, Paul. Oh, what?

Shh. I think we've had a little visitor. Oh, hey. It's little Timmy Biscuits here. Yeah, I just had a goykin. I've been eating goykins down at the 53rd and 4th Street corner. I'm just trying to learn, mister, how to be Timmy Biscuits. And thanks for having me here. I'd just like to say hello to Mr. Paul Gannon. I'm Timmy Biscuits and thanks for having me here. I'd just like to say hello to Mr Paul Gann

and I'm Timmy Biscuits. Yeah, have a good one. Get out of here. Get out of here, you little fuck. I'm Timmy Biscuits. Get out of here. Oh, bye, Timmy. You'll never be Jimmy Biscuits.

Well, Jimmy Biscuits is dead. No, he's just missing. Bye, Timmy. Yeah, I'll come by later to tuck you in. Okay. Right, well, if you enjoy what we do

on Cheap Show, we have a Patreon page which helps support us and keep us going and keep us weekly. So if you'd like to get involved in that, please do.

It's patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Keep us weekly. Also, keep me regular. Actually, this is quite important, actually. Oh, is it actually

quite important? Oh, it is. Actually. it actually quite important? It is. Actually. Because it affects quite a lot of listeners. Actually. Seriously? Let me just be presentable for a minute. Actually.

Actually. So, we are currently on SoundCloud. But because we're on SoundCloud, we can't, therefore, get onto Spotify because of loads of bullshit reasons. But I have to move Cheap Show from SoundCloud to another platform. So, we're going to move to Libsyn, right? To what? Libsyn. It's a podcast platform like SoundCloud,

but Libsyn give a fuck about podcasts as opposed to SoundCloud, which give all their attention to new artists and rappers and things like that. Right? So we're going to move from SoundCloud to Libsyn. Yes. Therefore, we can get onto Spotify, which means a lot more people can reach us. So if you're a subscriber on SoundCloud, you'll probably have your subscription moved to Libsyn. therefore we can get onto Spotify, which means a lot more people can reach us. If you're a subscriber on SoundCloud, you'll

probably have your subscription moved to Libsyn. Will it happen automatically? Yeah, it'll happen automatically. People don't like that. No, they don't, but if we don't, we can't grow our show. What if you're not already on Libsyn? What do you mean? It doesn't matter. You don't have to be subscribed to Libsyn. It just means

that the subscribers to us on SoundCloud come with us. I don't understand. I don't understand it, but no one's going to be subscribed to libsyn it just means that the subscribers to us on soundcloud come with us i don't understand i don't understand it but no one's going to be affected say that i'm i'm subscribed to the podcast on soundcloud but that's the only um music podcast app i have on my whole phone yeah yeah then it just stops being on soundcloud yeah but it will tell you where to go it won't no no because even if basically if you download it on iTunes or an app or pocket casts or podcast addict or whatever you have then that will deal

with it for you. It will not change that at all. It's only if you're directly subscribed to us on SoundCloud that you'll just disappear.

Well, no, you won't disappear. Hopefully, look, I need to find out more but all I'm saying is we're moving soon so we can broaden our audience.

Fucking dry but I just thought I'd mention it because we're doing it in the next few weeks. It is fucking dry, but you know what I could do with, Paul?

Shit. No. No. But, some dryness in my nostrils. Yeah. Yeah. Alright.

Well, I don't care about that. You don't care? So that's the Patreon. That's the Libsyn announcement. What else? If you've got any emails you want to send to us,

it's thecheapshowatgmail.com or www. Pictures and videos about this episode will be on the website thecheapshow.co.uk www. or thecheapshow at gmail.com www. Pictures and videos about this episode will be on the website thecheapshow.co.uk www.

www. www. www. or thecheapshow.co.uk Yeah. I like that one. I like that one. It's still www.

The awards are on Reddit. Go check out our Reddit page. Okay yes the awards but we're not allowed to take part in that. No which is fair enough. It's about us you know. It's about us.

It's about me and you what we do together yeah. Yeah. And like I just honestly want to say God I'm so unwell and I've just been talking shit. I'm sorry, everyone. It's alright, don't worry about it. Everyone's used to it. So, there's that and there's Twitter, at thecheapshowpod.

I'm at PaulGannonShow. He is at EliSnoid, E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. What else? Digitizer starts on Digitizer on YouTube. We're on Barshanans on youtube as well so barshans every

friday digitizer every sunday they're both great go check them out clankerman still doing all right

isn't it i'm just trying to think of what else we've got going on i am performing on the magic mic stage at the hippodrome doing my new

striptease act so if you want to see me magic mic stage yeah there's a magic mic show now in london so i'm doing it and the main put on too much weight and the director they want fat dad me the magic mic stage yeah there's a magic mic show now in London so I'm in that

and you're in it I thought you put on too much weight yeah but they want fat dad boss I thought the director went sit down Paul what's wrong

now Paul you've been putting on rolls of fat you chubby cunt and you know you can't dance in my company if you

try that shit I had one who tried it with me I bummed it out of him great okay good nice excellent I told him Try that shit. I had one who tried it with me. I bummed it out of him. Great. Okay, good. Nice. Excellent.

I told him, come round here. Two in the afternoon. And there's Tumblr as well. We're on Tumblr and Facebook. Get in charge of our Facebook. And we just give a shout out as well to... You won't be dancing for me anymore. I give a shout out to a Facebook page called Charity Shop Shit,

which we've joined recently. Charity Shop Shit. It's joined recently. Charity Shop Shit. It's very good. It's very good. It's very good. If you like what we do check out their page. There's lots of crazy

shit on there. Hey check out Charity Shop Shit. And the live shows are on YouTube now too but they are under an age restriction because there is some

very brief flashes of a penis which is not Eli's. Why don't you take the penis out and then we don't have to. I forgot to. I'm going to do it

for the next episode but I'll just see if the first one gets by. Whose penis is it? You would be unhappy if that was your penis. Well, if it is your penis, please do get in touch so we can edit on your name, address and face next to that image in the forthcoming video. Because, you know, it was

an alright penis. That bubble gum's disgusting, man. It's really left a bad taste in my mouth. Right, well, in that case, that's been Cheap Show. Thank you for supporting us for 100 episodes. Let's see if we make it to 200. Oh, we can't wait. We've got lots of exciting plans for 2019.

We'll probably be robots by then. Yeah. Probably be past the singularity. Welcome to Cheap Show. Paul, you must jack it. Jack it. Jack my jacket. I'll take my jacket off.

Oh, input your data blast Oh Data overload In the knob reader Right that's it We're done We're done You're done

Goodbye Just say goodbye Goodbye Goodbye you