CheapShow - Ep 135: Excuse Me About That

Episode Date: July 12, 2019

CheapShow apologises for the temporary malfunction and break down of Eli J Silverman, co-host on this very podcast. Although his faculties clear throughout the episode, it's important to note that Eli is still in early beta stages as a human. We hope this doesn't affect your enjoyment of this week's episode. Elsewhere in the show, we get a long overdue "Tales from the Shop Floor", some delightful confectionery donations to the Froth Shop, introduce a new (possibly problematic) character, have a quick discussion on American comedy, drink something that reminds them of a public toilet and uncover some very cool vinyl from Paul's recent trip to Los Angeles. Its frothy, man! And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-135-excuse-me-about-that If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Www.cheapmag.shop (unofficial/official magazine) www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow (unofficial/official merch)

fuck you then if we're gonna start let's start listen why can't you take me criticizing you unless you love it now you're grinning when i'm having a go at you no i just want to just now before you say what you just said before i started recording sorry sorry paul for making this show popular sorry paul for making for making you have a successful podcast. I didn't say that, ladies and gentlemen. You fucking did. No, I fucking didn't. Are we ready to introduce the show? Or are we going to wait?

I can hear toilet shenanigans. Is that your superpower? You can hear toilet shenanigans anywhere in the world. Oh, my shitty senses are tingling. Oh, God. Poor. My toilet senses are tingling. Oh, God. Poor. My toilet senses are tingling. Oh, God.

Don't fuck off. Try again. Try that thing again. No, I don't want to. Moving on. Why don't you just talk into your microphone like a professional and do your intro? Okay. Do you want me to do the intro then?

No, I don't want to, but you said just beforehand, can I do the intro? Doing a voice? Not doing a voice. Doing your podcast voice? Hello, I'm Paul. I'm doing my podcast voice. Is this your intro? No, this is my intro, mate.

You'll fucking know when I've intro'd you, yeah? You'll be intro'd to. Yeah. You'll know you've been intro'd to. I've been intro'd good and proper. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. I can hear the toilet. Sorry, I'm just going to adjust my mic. Is that okay, Paul? Yeah. Am I right? Yeah. Sorry, I can just going to adjust my mic. Is that okay, Paul? Yeah. All right? Yeah. Sorry, I can't do a podcast.

My toilet sensors are tingling. Someone's taken a juice somewhere and I must make sure they flush or wash their hands. No, it's not. It's not. I want you to perform it better. Do it like, you know, like you're doing a Stan Lee voiceover.

Excelsior. Hang on. All right. By night, he works as a DJ. By day, he's Toilet Man. Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da. Oh, look out, he's done a great big bar, Maggie. Stop. Stop it now. Let's start again.

No. This has been the worst ever. Just start your intro now. We're two minutes in. We're two minutes in. Begin. Ladies and gentlemen, hello. Welcome once again to Cheap Show. What time is it? It is Cheap Show time. Paul Gannon, over there on the other mic, joins me, Eli Silverman, founder of The Source Report, for another economy podcast comedy.

Right. You know what? Economy comedy podcast for your ears. Do you know what we do, Paul? It doesn't matter anymore. No, do you know what we do? It doesn't matter anymore. You said you were going to do an intro. Do you know what we do on Paul? It doesn't matter anymore. You said you were going to do an intro. Do you know what we

do on this podcast, Paul? Do you know what we do on this podcast, Paul? I don't know what we do anymore on this podcast. I've lost focus. You fucking have, but I'll tell you what we do. It's good that I'm bringing back focus. I'll tell you what we do. We visit

and bring focus back. We bring us. Bring us. What's going on? This is going to. Fat-tongued twat. Oh, don't fucking start that. Don't fucking start that.

Come on. What we do on the podcast, Paul, on this podcast, Cheap Show Podcast, we go to the charity shops. Bing. Pound lands. Bing. Pound stores. Bing. Discount stores. Bing. Jumbo sales. Bing. Fates. Bing. Bazaars. Bing. We go to the charity shops, pound lands, pound stores, discount stores, jumble sales,

fates, bazaars, bargain bins, pop-up charity shops, bing! Bing! Not binging that. And discount stores of this land of the UK.

And we get tat. And cheap food. God, you make this podcast sound awful.. And we get tat. And cheap food. God, you make this podcast sound awful. Welcome to Cheap Show. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles, right? It's a fact of Cheap Show you're gonna have to fucking reset. Moodle time.

Tales from the dance floor. How's the bit going? I'm fighting the shite This is what you're gonna take Hello Eli Silver Welcome to Cheap Show I'm not going on nuzzle Hello yes it is the economy comedy podcast

No you don't have to do it now. You fucking... You... You... Shanghai'd me. I don't know what's happened to my mind. A podcast. I know.

I'm moving on. You Shanghai'd... No, you're not moving on. I'm leaving you at the side of the road. I'm leaving you at the side of the... Well, don't do... Well, okay, move on then. I am.

Don't do the fucking... The intro that you usurped. We are. Not usurped. What's the fucking word I'm looking for? Fucking keep bringing it together. Get it together. You...

Pull it together. Subverted. Hijacked. Subverted. Disrupted. Oh, you are a shameful addition to this podcast. Paul, sorry for being successful in your podcast. Sorry for being the best thing in it.

Are you ever sorry for, like, putting no social media work in. Are you ever sorry for like putting no social media work in? Are you ever sorry for not doing any editing? Here we go. Listen, you don't ask me to edit, do you? Send the files over. I'll whip out the Avis. No, no, no. Avis lady.

If I ever give you a podcast to edit. The editing suite. Avis lady. You would be editing for hours and it wouldn't come out on time and you'd be crying about it. I don't know how to work a computer because of my fucking

lumpy hands that was quite fuck off you put me in a bad mood five minutes in anyway we're the podcast that looks for the hilarity

within austerity and we do so in a number of ways how? investigating charity shops tasting cheaper food investigating charity shops eating cheaper food How? Fuck you. We'd also like to source our material from you.

Source? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do you have one? Do I have a report? Do you have a report? You have to find out. You have to find out. How does one find out?

You have to find out. How does one find out? Do a little sort of, you know, smooth segue link into the source report and it might happen. Well, Eli, you're looking full of source, so why don't you give me some of your source report? This just in, source report takes a break there is no source report that's I think Eli yeah

I'm not I think it's time to retire it's time to retire the source report I think you should just do it with Paul you should just do the whole fucking thing with Biffo go on

you know it's gonna happen no no I'll just be lonely no I'll be lonely in the house of pickles. It'll become a fortress of solitude. Do you know what I mean?

Keep you on the road. It'll be the pickle of solitude. The pickle dwelling of solitude. Anyway, let's talk about Tales from the Shop Floor. Ooh, what do we do when we do Tales from the Shop Floor, Paul? That, innit? Just Tales from the Shop Floor. And that's when the readers, listeners...

Mate. Listeners. Mate. Listeners. in it just tell some of the shop well and that's when the readers listeners may listeners may listeners are you there listeners the listeners they write in don't know they write in with their tales from shops and and that I can't my mouth it's I'm tired that's what it is my mouth's not doing it's not what about the lovely song you must have most of the fucking waking life where it won't

the words won't fucking work the word hole's not working why don't you tell that little story about the ladies growling oh yeah alright

yeah so walking down the street to meet you here at the the HOP HOP yeah you know me and there's a lady kind of looks a bit elderly Yeah, so walking down the street to meet you here at the... H.O.P.

H.O.P. Yeah, you know me. And there's a lady, kind of looks a bit elderly, has some leggings on, holding a shopping bag, walking towards me on the pavement. Yeah. I see her quite clearly put her hand down and do some massive sort of tugging-style rearrangement

in the Never Regions behind the bank. In the old gosset. And I'm like, okay, you know, when people have to do that, I have sympathy. You know, I'm not sneery. No. Some people have to rearrange their junk.

You know, it's uncomfortable. Maybe it's rubbing and causing it. I don't judge people for that. No. But I may have just shown a little tiny smirk on my face as I passed her. Yeah.

Because as she did eventually pass me, she went, excuse me about that. Oh, bless her. And I'm like, what? So I'm starting to think she must have had her hand right up there. Did it go below the fabric? Or was it on top of the fabric?

It was hard to tell because of the shopping bag. Do you see what I mean? She was kind of carrying the shopping bag. If you can imagine... Oh, something just... You know? There's like a whoopee cushion effect on this.

And she kind of went... And she had an expression on her face like, oh, screwed up. Gurney. She's getting her fingers in. Get this fucking fist off. I've wedged myself

from walking around. She was probably pulling 50p's worth of knickers out of her front crotch. Yes. And then it was the sorry, excuse me about that. Sorry about that. Excuse me about that. Excuse me.

I mean, look. She's being polite. She's being polite. I seen you when I see me rearranging my gossip church. Yeah. And I think we should break the ice about it, stranger on the street. Mate, drawing attention

to the fact that you saw me get a good fist worth of knickers in my hand. Why not just walk on by? She was coming on to me is what I'm thinking. No, she was not coming on. Excuse me about that

or did you like that? What? Excuse me about that and then what happens next? You say, no, excuse me for this and you whack it out. Throppage!

Yeah, do you? Is that your fantasy? Airthroppage! Airthroppage. You mind whapping it out? Well, it doesn't throp anything. It throps into the air. It's the sound of one hand clapping.

What a vulgar sentiment. It's the sound of one knob thropping. What is the sound of one knob thropping? Yeah. That's it. one knob thwopping? Yeah. That's it. One knob thwopping. Unless you can get it to kind of slap on your balls a little bit. That'd be a good pub, wouldn't it?

What? The thwopping knob. It'd have to be a little kind of village pub, wouldn't it? The old thwopping knob. Oh, hello. Welcome to the thwopping knob pub. Oh, yeah? What do you have to drink in here?

Oh, we've got... You can't now. You cannot now do Uncle Grumbly in any form, right? So, when I say what do you have to drink in the pub,

Paul, stepping outside away from this improvisation... I'm thinking. It has to not be spoff, piss, puke, shit.

Sweat. I mean, that would be lame anyway, but. So you've said spoff, piss, puke, shit. Sweat. Sweat. Earwax. Earwax. Bogeys.

Okay. Did I say snot? Yeah. I didn't say. I said spoff, not snot. Okay. Spoff. Snot.

Sick. Spew. Saliva. Well, anyway, we've got some lovely old scrumpty around the back. Oh, yeah. Which sick, spew, saliva. Well, anyway, we've got some lovely old scrumpty around the back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's called Rustler's Fudge. And we like to give it to you. And it's a really nice thing.

Is it a fudge? No, it's just because it's got a very sweetie kind of flavour to it. It's very sweet. It's a caramelly cider kind of flavour. That sounds delicious, actually. I'm parched. It's been very hot. I tell you what.

I just had some kind of encounter with a lady out there. Oh, yeah. Old Barbara. That sounds delicious, actually. I'm parched. It's been very hot. I tell you what. I just had some kind of encounter with a lady out there. Oh, yeah. Old Barbara. Yeah, she's always... You're so Barbara. Yeah, she's called Barbara. Anyway, let me get you a pint of it.

However, we do serve it in a massive dead cock that you're going to drink out of. What do you mean a dead cock? I rip a cock off an animal. Whose cock? An animal. It may be edible.

I'm sure it is. No, an animal. Oh. It takes it off an animal. Whose cock? It's an animal. It may be edible. I'm sure it is. No, an animal. Oh. It takes it off an animal. Maybe it's a horse. Maybe it's a piglet. You've grown more rural. We have.

And I'm going to rip them off. How do you hollow it out? This sounds very strange. But I'll try. I've been getting those two, well, three-act structures. You've been doing what? I did, no, about a month ago I had the perfect three-act structure. Did I tell you about that?

Go on. Hard at the start. Uh-huh. Then a distinct second act of sort of slurry. Finishing with top grade arse piss. Fizzy gravy, if you will.

I think. You know when your own shit has its own sort of crema of foam that is a different colour,

whiter than the... Anyway. Now we really have... Will you please go to a doctor? Please go to a doctor. It doesn't happen all the time.

I was just like, that was great. It was like going to the movies. Oh, what happened to your podcast partner, Paul? Oh, he died sh he died shitting yeah yeah he died of a three-act structure now paul is it time for a tales from the dance floor now it is yes yeah i was djing the other day uh discount suit company i don't know if i mentioned that place on the podcast

it's time for another tales from the shop floor from there dance floor shit i can't think you have. It's time for another Tales from the Shop floor. From there. Dance floor. Shit. I can't think of words today. Yeah? Yeah. I keep trying to say something, and the word don't slot in the hole. You know what I mean?

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you do. Go on. That's your whole fucking life. That's my whole career. That's your whole life. That's your whole life!

Stop eating! Don't stab me! You see this? You used to touch me warmly. What? That's your whole life. Stop eating. Don't stab me. You used to touch me warmly. What? You used to touch me warmly and try to shake my hand and stuff. All you do now is you complain. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Don't. I may not be a woman. No. Actually, Paul, I've changed my mind. Come on. Don't thrust your big new belly at me. Come to thwoppages with me to nightclub. Sit down.

Thwoppages is the nightclub. Come on. What's the night called? Well, tonight they've got a whip it out night. Yeah. Everyone whips it out. Come on. Come to Thwoppages.

Whip it out at Thwoppages. What's the DJ? The DJ? Yeah. What's he called? Eli Silverman. Oh, yeah. That's me. Now The DJ? Yeah. What's he called? Eli Silverman. Oh, yeah. That's me.

Now, Paul, sit down, please. He plays Maudlin Shite from his eclectic collection of fucking show-offy music. I'm doing Tales from the Dance Floor. Boring muso shit. Boring muso shit. May not be a woman, but I'm all made. Honestly, really, I'm glad you tried there. But I'm just not feeling it.

I'm not feeling it. I'm feeling it. Fuck off! Get sit down! It's funny, isn't it? Be careful what you wish for. Tales from the shop floor. Dance floor.

I'm eating grapes. Stop eating grapes! I'm eating grapes. It's disrespectful. It's not. Right. Go on. Okay, so I'm DJing. It's disrespectful. It's not. Right. Go on. Okay, so I'm DJing.

I think it's going quite well, Paul. You know, there's some dancing. You've been down to the discount store company. It's not a dance floor, is it? No. It's a cocktail bar. It only has about 60 covers max, really. Yeah.

And so it's like... And on a good day, it'd be quite cosy and a bit of fun. And people do sort of, yeah. They, you know, they get into it. Intimate. But I'm in full flow. I'm thinking this is going quite well. cosy and a bit of fun. And people do sort of, yeah, they, you know, they get into it, intimate. But, I'm in full flow, I'm thinking,

this is going quite well. This is going well. You know what I mean? I'm putting some records on, people dancing, yeah, nice, yeah.

Everyone's reacting to what you're putting down. And I'm, I'm stooping down to pick a record up. Yeah. You know, from my bag. Yeah. And I turn up,

turn around, this woman is in my face. Oh, no. she's right there and she's like she immediately goes excuse me for that well it's good it's a good callback she immediately goes uh okay she kind of goes okay now um i'm sorry i just wanted to have a discussion about the next record you're going to put on. Do you know what I mean? Now you're feeling it, Paul.

You're feeling it. Already, my brain's going, in this situation, I'd be like, go away. And I'm like, okay, I'm trying not to be immediately hateful and dismissive, but I was like, literally, I was like, I don't understand. And so I said, have you got a request?

He's like, I don't know, we have a discussion about it. And then I'm like, well, here's the record i'm going to put on it's it's cameo yeah it's serious by cameo discussion over yeah do you know what i mean and then i'm like what what what she's like oh no but i want it it's like what what did you want to have a discussion okay is that a request what did she say next? She just went, oh, and then I thought, have I been too harsh?

Okay. Yeah. But what did she want? Well, she goes, she came over to say, I want to have a discussion about the next track

you're going to put on. Yeah. And you showed her. And she had nothing to say. But then she was kind of, because I was like, have you got a request? And she's like,

no, no, no. I just want to have a discussion. And I'm like, well, that's kind of more annoying than if you just had a request do you know i mean a lot more annoying maybe because it kind of implies that she sort of wants to get involved yeah with this you know i mean with the

decision making process that i'm going through like get involved with my job it's kind of weird sort of business meeting speak isn't it let's have a discussion do you know i mean rather than ask directly for something. Well, that's obviously what her background is because it's near Liverpool Street. Lots of businesses around there. It might have been that she's trying to use a kind of icebreaker to talk to you

and get to know you. I think it was possibly that. And then you could have had a little bit of love. No, she was there with a date. You don't know that. I do. I'm there. She's sitting there with a guy

just down. So I do know that. We're hands on each other's genitals. They were smooching. Maybe she's going to ask you for a freeway. Anyway, I did, wasn't... That happens a lot to you,

doesn't it? Shut up. Lots of people talk to you and say, come and have a freeway with me boys then. They do not. But anyway.

And you go, oh yeah, I'd love that. Anything to be part of something. No, I don't. Paul. I really need the attention. No, I don't. Anything to be part of something and then be't Paul I really need the attention no I don't anything to be part of something

and then be the best thing in that shut up don't get is that is that the story no it has a little addendum alright go on

so what you know what are your thoughts on that though before we move on so far I'd be like maybe she was trying to have a chat who knows

but come on it is quite an annoying way to sort of it's like vague booking, isn't it? It's like going, I can't believe I'm so sad, post. And it's kind of like, let's talk about your record, question mark.

You go, yeah? Yeah. And then she's got nothing. And honestly, I know I make a big deal on my infrequent Tales from the Dance Floor spot, but I don't mind if someone comes up and asks for a record, and I don't have it, and they're okay with that, then everything's okay, you know what I mean?

Then everything's okay. What's the addendum? Right, so Rogan, my flatmate, is down there. Oh, is he? You might hear him going to the loo, guys. His toilet senses are tingling. That's just not to the loo, guys. Toilet senses are tingling. That's just not going to land at any stage. Toilet senses.

What about anus senses? Anus senses? No. Anus senses. Spidey sense is just good writing, but we can't... Hiney sense. Hiney sense! He got there in the end. His hiney sense has gone off. Yeah, so I'm going out for a ciggy.

And, you know, as we used to do, Paul, back in our little heyday. Before, I got sick and tired of standing awkwardly next to you in a closed space. Yeah. As you did all the work, and I had to justify my existence. But then sometimes I'd go to the loo or whatever, and I'd let you change the record. Or I'd ask you to do it for me because it would help. Yeah, while you popped out to buy drugs. As he has a grape. or whatever and I'd let you change the record or I'd ask you to do it for me because it would help yeah you popped out

to buy drugs so as he has a grape you're addicted to grapes mate don't judge me here's the thing though about grapes

they're food I would have to leave my job and get into the back of a stranger's car and go around the block to buy them fuck off right

go on Jesus Christ And so I go I have to go to the loo And I ask Rogan To put the record on Yeah And she whilst

You're gone Yeah She goes Your selection's much better than his God Do you know what I mean So it's like All he's gonna say

Is the single you've given him Yeah he hasn't selected it And he said to her I didn't select Like you know what I mean So it's like All he's gonna say The single you've given him Yeah he hasn't selected it And he said to her I didn't select I'm not like You know what I mean And that's the same thing When you got fired

When I got fired From Bourne and Hollingsworth Yeah you said it Yeah I said it Fuck em When I got fired from there For smoking weed Outside of the premises

Yeah And smelling of it And the other thing They didn't like Is that you would Put some records on for me Yeah And the guy His choice ruins it Yeah the other thing they didn't like is that you would put some records on for me and the guy his choice ruins it

yeah and he said that the quality goes down when you're on what? the records that I choose and you stack for me to just play which would be

exactly the same sound indistinguishable from if I put them on hipster? fuck yeah right

wouldn't give me a chance would you Marco? well anyway that was a very... I'm going to go say average tells from the dance floor. It's been a while since you've done one. And obviously there are only so many tells on the dance floor you can tell. It's like variations on a theme, isn't it?

It is variations on a theme. It's like music. A meets B. B comes to A. A says... It's like a jazz. We're like jazzers. You know?

Yeah. Goodly, but... The girl comes up to me She says Can you play Call him a nog I'm conflicted Cause

She was alright Got a glass of beer And I say Go on Say dubbity dub dub Or something No because This is just embarrassing

And you need to stop Paul Stop Have we Stop it Are we going to have to Not put this one out Nah this one's golden.

So, that's the intro done with. 30 minutes in. So, I did a show a few weeks ago now at the Phoenix Bar in London. The Video Game Game show show run by Steve McNeil. And I was there with Mr. Biffo and Larry Bundy and Octavius and such and such and such. Anyway, Chai was there.

Regular listener. Chai has sent stuff in the past. Chai handed me a big bag of goodies. So over the next few episodes, we'll be dipping into Chai's goodie bag and pulling things out. And one of be dipping into Chai's goodie bag and pulling things out. And one of the things that Chai gave us was a selection of froth shop goodness. What the fuck is this?

Are you just slowly going to turn into Chewbacca? It's like Teen Yeti, isn't it? It's not. It's got nothing to do with that. I don't even know what you're talking about. I've forgotten Teen Yeti, isn't it? It's not. It's not nothing to do with that. I don't even know what you're talking about. I've forgotten Teen Yeti. No, you haven't. No, you haven't.

You haven't, though, have you? No. So is it a froth shop? We're going to go ting-a-ling-a-ling in there? Or is it sort of off-the-hand froth shop? Off-the-hand froth shop? Stop talking like Paul Gannon. You fucking idiot.

Sorry. I'm sorry. Do you know what it is, Paul? I've been working all day speaking to people. So it's sort of a, it's a fatigue thing.

I apologize to everyone. It's remiss of me. I should prepare better for these shows, you know, and or ever. Just one episode.

I beg your pardon. What fucking sweets have you got then? Come on. Excuse me about that. So, ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. Ah, hello, little boy. Welcome to the froth shop again. Oh, guv'nor. Tell you what, guv.

My hands are bleeding fucking like a racha what you know what don't forget if you can't do the characters we'll just get

we'll just can't it's not worth it is it I can do it I can do it Mr. Ian if Eli's brain broken we can't do a show oh my my fingers are all bleeding

from selling all selling newspapers and matches and uh I have to keep I have to light matches to keep me warm but I thought I'd come down here because I'm

starving. Thank Marvin. I am starving, hungry. Hungers. I've got that. Shut up! Stop looking at me like that Mr. Sweet Shop Man. Well, I'm glad you're out of the cold, young boy. Yeah, it's cold out there as well.

The offer for the job still stands if you want to help stock sweets in my lovely shop. I'd love to, but I've got a whole gang to run of little urch cold out there as well the offer for the job still stands if you want to help stock sweets in my lovely shop I'd love to but you know I've got like a whole gang to run of little urchins out there well I'm just saying I've got little Johnny and then there's big Johnny there's

medium sized Johnny yeah and there's Davey little Davey medium sized Davey it's funny. It's like you know him. You know the gang. I was thinking, bring all the Daves and the Johnnies down here,

and you could see all the size comparisons. I know it's a podcast, but I am shaking my head. Shaking my head. Well, I won't then, but I sell papers and stuff, you know. Ah, well, anyway, I thought because then But I've sold papers and stuff, you know Ah, well, anyway I thought, because you're in my shop I thought I'd give you some of my Exclusive new treats

Oh, oh, dug a gug I like that I like sweets, oh Yes, well we've got some lovely ones for you having to eat today So, let's start with Something that I know we've both been keen No, no, no, because that's a different part of the froth shop, isn't it? It's so defiant.

I've got a whole new character for that. Oh, have you? Yes. All right. I don't really, but I'm going to improvise. Anyway, so here's the first thing. Donated by 29p from Home Bargain, it says. Well, it certainly is cheap.

And I'm going to be stocking them in the froth shop, depending on your reaction. So, let's now do what we must do. Can I put that on my business card now? Yes, we can do that. Brand ambassador. But let's now let the spirits of two podcast presenters from the future take over our bodies and do the actual

review. Alright, mister. Hello. Right, so these are chilli candy. Do you want some light in here? Yeah, let's get some light on. Okay, there you go. It says, dare yourself, chilli meter. Ah, now.

We've had the ultimate chilli candy. Chilli willy, milly. Millies. Chilli millies. Chilli millies. Very nice. They were from Pakistan, and they were a gummy based, weren't they? Shaped in little tiny chili shapes, and I like them. They were really nice, weren't they?

Yeah. A really well thought out sort of flavor profile on those, wasn't it? The ones we had with Kenry, not as nice. They weren't nice at all. They were straws. Yeah, they were pretty bland. They were kind of bland and sort of mulchy. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I'll be interested to see how these go. It's got a chiliometer, so it's six levels. So are we expecting there to be... Ah. What? Oh, that's nice.

Try to put a little note on the back of the... For the froth shop. As he has done on all of them. And he's put the price on. That's good, isn't it? Yeah. So do we think... Look, it says six levels, chilli meter. Does that mean we think there's six different coloured beans

and each one corresponds to a different heat level? That's interesting. That's pretty neat. I bet that's what it is. If that is true. They're like Scoville. It's like the Scoville green, because green chillies do tend to be less hot, don't they?

The jalapeno. So it's actually mimicking the actual nature. Well, how exciting. Let's try them. I'm interested. And depicted on this is a few anthropomorphic chili peppers and a sort of stereotype Mexican guy in a sombrero. Yeah, no. I'm going to get my huff out. Yeah, you need to get my huff out. Yeah, you need to get your huff out.

I'm going to get the huff. Use the scissors. Cut them. It's all right. I've got it there. I'm there. Huff, not good. What's the huff of, though?

It's got a sort of sweet smell, but there's a slightly sour. Sour. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Kind of chemically. Sour sugar sort of taste. I guess we just have to pour some out and try it. These look like normal jelly beans.

Oh, okay. I thought they might have been like... And yes, they all correspond flavour. So should we start with one that's meant to be the mildest, the green ones? I'll hand you that, Paul. All right. Is that a green one? Yeah.

All right. Let's just start going. Green. The texture's not great, but the flavour's not awful. And when the heat comes in... Is there heat coming in? A little bit. Yeah, there is.

There's a bit of heat there. A little bit of heat there. Not too bad. Yeah, very much that sort of cheaper end of the jelly bean... Scale in terms of texture. Texture, yeah. But the flavour's not that bad, to be fair. That's quite nice, actually.

I think, if anything, it's going to taste a little bit off because of the heat. Sorry, I'm just going to try and find... Just pour them all out. You may as well. You can empty your beans across my lap any time you want. There's six levels, but I can't find any differentiation between the greens. There's meant to be a lighter green, which is hotter.

Well, I can see one of the most hot ones. So let's just go straight to a yellow, which is meant to be kind of low intermediate heat. This is next after the green. Yeah. Right, here we go. Lemon. Yeah, it does taste of lemon.

What's the green one meant to taste of, do you think? Lime. It didn't. Is the heat a bit more noticeable there? No, not really. No? I thought the green was actually a little bit hotter. I know, there's more on this.

Yeah. Okay, and so we go to the middle. Orange. Actually, they're not that unpleasant, are they? No, not at all. I'm happy to eat the next. This is orange. This is the next heat.

Oh, hot, hopefully. Definitely that orange, sort of classic artificial orange flavour yeah the heat's coming in quicker on that one oh yeah that's got a bit of a bite no

no you've broken your chilli receptors mate what's next ah nah that was it and now this one is the only one we got

which is of the highest type I reckon you should try it. Okay. I'll let you try the hottest, Rob. There's no reds at all, just that. No, there's just that one, yeah.

Look, and that corresponds to the hottest. I guess so. Level six. You see there was meant to be two different shades of green. Yeah. There isn't, is there? No. Okay, so this is level six.

Yeah. Are you ready? Hit it. Have the milk ready. I've got the milk ready. I wish I hadn't said that. Yeah. Are you ready? Hit it. Have the milk ready. I've got the milk ready. I wish I hadn't said that. Strawberry. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. Not much hotter. No, I think they're all the same heat. Honestly. No. No. I thought you could add

more to that. They weren't that bad though. They weren't that bad. 29p. 29p home bargain. Pleasant. The thing is, with all these chili confectionery chili sweet things i don't know if i'd ever choose to eat them you know what i mean

yeah you couldn't just i love a curry or a spicy you know yeah vietnamese or a curry or a curry yeah uh but i wouldn't i would like get some ice cream that didn't have that in. Do you know what I mean? It's like jelly beans. I'm going to probably buy Skittles or Jelly Belly or whatever because I just like that. That's interesting that you've put them in the same category because is a Skittle really a jelly bean in disguise? It's not.

Isn't it? You've blown my mind. It's a fruit chew with a hard shell. It's almost basically the inside of a Chew-It. It's like a Chew-It but with a hard shell. And have you tried Skittles naked without the hard shell? Yes, I have eaten Skittles with no clothes on. And I put them in my foreskin.

I knew they were going there. As soon as you started that, I knew where they were going. You pop them in your meters. You pop them down your meters. Not down my meters. Why not? Oh, this is shit. I can't wank off to this. What I do is I put... I can't wank off to this.

What I do is I put as many as I can... He didn't even put them in his metres. In your foreskin. It's tame. What is this? No, you're not hearing it through. Is this the Hallmark channel? No.

Hallmark. Hallmark. Eli is breaking down. The Eli software is melting down. It fucking is. Daisy, Daisy. Right, no, what I do is I take a load of them and push them all inside my foreskin

and then I put two little bubbly eyes on it and I'd say, oh, it's Hammy the hamster. He's going to be sick. And I squeeze it and all the jelly beans come out. I go, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. You might get a bit of a heat on your meters. I'm not going to use those ones, am I? Why not?

I'm just going to use Skittles. This is wrong in every way. I'll fill up my cock up full of fucking Skittles. I'll just squeeze them out into someone's face and go, oh, you can taste the rainbow, can't you? Taste the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. Very good.

Happy content listeners. This is what you want. Shall we give those a mark? I'll give them a sort of three and a half. I'll give them a three. Yeah. Not too bad at all. There's enough flavour, a variety of flavour,

and it's not too unpleasant a heat that I would say it's a nice little snack. Where did it say on his little note where these were purchased? Yeah, home and bargain. I have said it twice. Now I've said it three times. Okay, well, make it more interesting. No, listen. Instead of being wrapped up in whatever inane thing you're going to say next.

What is next on this froth shop visit? Well, it's a a tube and it's got radioactive symbolism all over it. So, you know, the warning signs and the yellow. Radioactive symbolism? What, Godzilla? Yeah. From the froth shop. It's not symbolism, it's... Iconography. Thank you. 95p each

from Homer Bargain, from Chai. So, these are... They're quid each. There's a tube of blue and a tube of red And what are they called? I'll let you Hang on There you go

Alright So he's handed it to me now Yeah it's got the What's that radioactive That is the symbol of radioactivity Isn't it? Yes Yes

Radioactive sours I hope they're not really radioactive Oh You wouldn't be able to sell them Right So So they're little boiled sweets They're bonbons.

That's a bonbon. Well, this is a... Oh, that's a boiled sweet, but this is a bonbon. Well, no, I think it's just the same thing, but the colour is different. Yes, but this has got an opacity to it. I've got a blue one. This is strawberry flavour. And yours is strawberry.

Mine is... Blueberry. Blueberry. Blue raspberry. Sorry. Well, you know me, I like... It's blue raspberry, Paul. It keeps popping up, blue raspberry. It's a popular candy flavour. You mention it once, they go fucking all

over the place. Blue raspberry this, blue raspberry that. What's next? Blue raspberry! Mate, in the 80s... Blue raspberry burgers! Blue raspberry chickens! What's that? What's next? Blue raspberry! I'd like to? What's next? Blue raspberry. I'd like to apologise for Eli for this whole episode.

Sorry, I would like to. Right, shall we taste these? Yeah. So I'm going to have a red, you're going to have blue. There's no huff to speak of. Oh, hang on, I didn't even check that. There's very little of anything tasting like sweets. All right.

They're going to be sour, extremely sour. That's what they say. Okay, I'm popping it in. Oh, that's quite sour. I can't keep that in my mouth. That's what she said. That's too sour for me. That's what she said.

Done that. Stop saying that, please. That's what she said. Oh, hang on. I'm getting through the sour now. It's nice I can taste it So am I

Oh yeah It's quite intense That first Soury buff Very sour I think it's that powder stuff They put on the top But actually

Once you get through The sweetness is coming through now It's actually quite nice Flavour Yeah Not bad Are you going to give it the crunch Let's give it a crunch

I don't know if it's got anything in the inside. It feels solid all the way through. That's what she said. We can't do that on this podcast. That's what she said. Stop saying that. No, you've already said that's what she said. This is an absurdio reduction absurdium.

That's what she said. Hang on, I'm going to give it aium. That's what she said. Hang on, I'm going to give it a crunch. That's what she said! Anything in the inside? Can't break it. Don't try it, then. You'll hurt yourself. Stop.

He's grimacing. He's grimacing as he tries to... Don't do it. It's manufacturing injury for the listeners. Yeah, it's got a centre. It has. A sour centre. A shard of it. A shard of it went a bit into it. It stuck into my gum. listeners. Yeah, it's got a centre. It has. A sour centre. I'm sure of it.

I'm sure of it when I bit into it. It stuck into my gum. Ah. I'm sure of it. Oh, no, it doesn't have a centre. It's just all the way through hollow. Yeah, you can dispose of that on my after. No, I'm eating it.

Not unenjoyable, that. Once you get past the first 30 seconds of... It's okay. Again, it's sort of gimmicky and, you know, kids would be into it. But, you know, I wouldn't just... I wouldn't buy that. You know what I mean? No.

The problem with these kind of sweets is they're not refreshing, really. They're a bit of hard work. They're gimmicky. Do you have any other items from Chai? I'm going to give that 3.5. I'll go for 3 for that. I prefer the jelly beans, I think. Okay.

I prefer the radioactive sours. Now, a little bonus item, Paul, for you. Oh, a little Brucey bonus. Now, do you remember on a froth... A froth shop, quite recent froth shop. Let's get the Brucey bonus radar in. Yeah, there's definitely a Brucey impersonator in the building. It's hard to tell.

We're going to need to go closer to see where the Brucey is. Now you can see it's reading. We're getting a full nice to see you. Nice to see you. Good game. God, I hurt my jaw doing that. You hurt yourself all the time. Now, Paul, on a previous froth shop...

Stop. Stop doing noises when I'm trying to speak. On a previous froth shop, I can't remember what they were called, but do you remember there were these boiled sweets, cola-flavoured, that you got in a big bag for a quid? Yeah, they were nice. And they were Italian. Yeah.

Now, I think I found the equivalent, but manufactured by Chupa Chups. And have you noticed, Chupa Chups have, in recent years, branched out completely into the sort of toy push-pop market, and they have all these sort of your sours, and they have all these sort of gimmicky game toys that seem to be taking over. Oh, I've not really noticed, to be honest. Yeah, I've noticed. So what have you got for us today?

These are very similar, I believe. Yeah. Chupa Chup Center Shock. So. What does that mean? I think there's some sherbet in the middle. We all like a little bit of sherbet. Yeah.

I like pear drops and lemon drops that have sherbet center. It doesn't sort of. Does it say spanking cola? Yeah, it says cola. Splashing cola. Oh, I thought that said spasming cola. What is that word? No, you're right. It's splashing. Splashing cola. So again, it's goingming Cola What is that word? No you're right

It's splashing Splashing Cola So again it's going to be Is it going to be Cola Colours Is what I'd be interested in Or is it going to be Oh Liquid filled

Sour chewing gum Whoa This is a totally different thing Yeah Chupa Chups have gone Fucking crazy Like Willy Wonka They've gone rogue

They're opaque And slightly off white I didn't expect them to be that colour. That's the chewing gum around the outside. What's the harm? The smell is very, very cola-y, that cola. Actually, it smells of bleach. Yeah, it does.

It's got a bleachy smell. Should we bite it in half? Yeah. Wow, that's sour. Wow. I've got a little bit of pre-cum coming out of it. It has juice down the insides. But it's really sour.

That's kind of unpleasant, isn't it? The sour doesn't go with the cola very well. No. No. Do you want the spit tray? What are your feelings? Sadness. That wasn't what I thought it was going to be at all.

No, I thought it was going to be like a little bald sweet. This is actually quite nice. I want to get the sour out of the way. Yeah, but why put the sour in? Exactly. To that extent. You know, that unpleasant extent. Because the sour

must be like an arms race. is what draws you in. It's the icebreaker, isn't it? It's like, you go, oh, you go, oh, what's this? Oh, centre shock. Oh, it's fizzy.

Oh, I'll get that over that one. Do you think it just pulls you in? Yeah, because it makes you think, I'm going to live life on the edge today. I'm going to have something sour. I'm going to do something exciting with my life. Fizzy, yeah. Yeah.

I'm not going to have a regular chew it. No. Or starburst. But I have never seen that kind of sour combined with a chewing gum, which is what this is, isn't it? YOLO. Also.

YOLO. I. YOLO. I had centre shock. FOMO. And also. FOMO YOLO. And also. But also. FML YOLO.

But also. I've never had a chewing gum that had a liquid centre. Do you remember any other products that do that? I must have come across a few in the right time. I'm not asking if you've come across them. I'm asking if you remember any other products that do that? I must have come across a few in my time. I'm not asking if you've come across them. I'm asking if you remember any single one. Yes. And I ejaculated upon it.

I'm spitting this. That's what she said. Fucking hell, that's tiresome. That's what she said. Spits out. That's what she said. I'm fucking tired. Shut up. It's hard, isn't it, when you get into an innuendo hole? That's what she said. Shut up. Shut up.

It's hard, isn't it, when you get into an innuendo hole? That's what she said. You can't chew and do the podcast. I know. It's very rude. Right, to end on that. Well, we need a score for that too. Two and a half.

It's just a bit of a sort of strange thing, wasn't it? It's a bit of a strange thing. If it had not been a chewing gum, like just a normal chewy sweet, like a Chew-It, Chew-It! Yeah. Then it would be better. Chew it! Yeah. Chew it's a very good, but even the chew it's are threatened by

those high C Japanese ones that we did. Yeah. Imagine that with a little bit of liquid in it. It's like what the Japanese do with so many things. They take something and then they extrapolate it to its most pure and, you know, clear embodiment of it.

Like, do you know what I mean? Like when they do a dry lager, it's fucking so crisp and dry. It's like super, super dry. Well, you know, they're a proud culture, you know? And they've done it with those opaque two sweets. They won us over. I mean, you know what I still fucking love, though? What?

Tewit's Extreme Sour Apple. You can't? What? Tewit's Extreme Sour Apple. You can't go wrong with Tewit's Extreme Sour Apple. Right, so what's finally happening? Right, let's go back into our... Oh, mister, thanks for so many sweets. That's really good. That's not a problem. It's all I'm going to eat all week, probably, because I'm living on the street. I've got Dave. All the sizes, yes, thanks for so many sweets. That's really good. That's all I'm going to eat all week, probably,

because I was living on the street. I've got Dave. All the sizes, yes, I know. All the sizes of Dave. All the different sizes of characters. All my friends. Can you even remember their names? Yeah.

John, little John, medium-sized John, big John. Then there's Dave, little Dave, medium-sized Dave, and big Dave. So did I remember them all or not, mister? They're my fucking family. I'd have to listen or not, mister? They're my fucking family. I'd have to listen back to the podcast. They're my street family, which you're not going to do right now. So, you know what, though, mister?

What's that for the point? As much as I do appreciate the sweets, I love the charity that you show to me, a little urchin on the street who must sell papers that I disagree with politically and burn my little hands. But you know what, mister? What?

All those sours and those chili beans left me parched. All I could do with a drink so bad. If only there was some kind of old 50s style soda fountain with a very wide variety of different sodas and drinks, soft drinks around here. Oh, well, let's see if there's one. I'll ring my little bell. Ding-a-ling-a-ling.

Yeah. Well? Well, I've got to be a new character. No, you just have to introduce it. Oh. Well, I do have a gentleman who works round the back. He's new. He's going to be in charge of all of our beverages,

our soda fountains, all our kinds of fizzy... Oh, is that the young boy? Bring him in here! Ha, ha, ha! I'm the jerk fountain guy! You're the jerk fountain guy. I'm the soda jerk!

And this is my soda fountain! Come in, little boy! You've got nothing to be afraid of with me I'll fix you a drink what do you like now let's go out of the characters Paul yeah okay now

so you're going to have to just talk to yourself as two characters now for the bit or what we're going into we're Paul and Eli does that guy have a name he's the soda jerk Dave

Barbara he's called Barbara Dave right Dave Barbara yeah. Barbara. He's called Barbara Dave. Right, Dave Barbara. Yeah, Dave Barbara. Dave Barbara. Hey, hi there, little boy. Come in. I'll jerk you up a soda.

Do you like it fizzy? Do you? Do you? Do you? Fizzy? Fizzing over? Do you? Right.

He's good. Stop. You're menacing me with those scissors. He looks like he's going to stab me,acing me with those scissors he looks like he's going to stab me ladies and gentlemen so this is a part of

in all seriousness you know it's a relative I'm enjoying this episode watching the wheels come off the E-Line train especially at the beginning when it was all

I was making this podcast great and here you are like you're like a child in front of the deep end of a swimming pool without your fucking water wings on oh you almost said something funny then i did you got it right though water wings you i

almost said something you could have said like with you out your canoe on or something like that which would be funny treading on thin water though mate you are treading on thin water no paul this is a new subsection of the Throff Shop. I just thought I'd like to lay the lay of the land out. Does that taste funny to you, that water? Why? Because we're having an issue with our ice tray. It didn't, did it?

Why are you telling me now this after I've had a sip? I'll drink it. It's not like, you know. But did it taste funny? No, it's fine. Really? It would just take like clean water to you? Yeah. Okay. It does. It's fine, isn did it taste funny? No, it's fine. Really? It would just take like clean water to you? Yeah. Okay.

It does. It's fine, isn't it? Yeah, what? I'm just having an issue. I paid good money for this new ice thing that has rationalised the ice in my life. Icebox. Well, if it's new and you're wearing it in, it might still have that plasticky smell for a while until it beds in.

Yeah, for a few times maybe, I'm thinking. There wasn't anything there. No. Anyway, it's a new subsection. I fucking hope not. until it bedded. Yeah, for a few times maybe, I'm thinking. There wasn't anything there. No. Anyway, it's a new subsection of the Froth Shop segment of Cheap Show where we taste soft drinks

because both myself and Paul are kind of obsessed with soft drinks as well, aren't we? Yes. You definitely have a long history of being a lover of pop. I like fizzy pop.

Yes. When do you think it started? Can you remember your first introduction to it? Was it all the cheap panda stuff? Panda pop and stuff. Lemonade? Lemonade seems to sort of...

No, you know what it probably was? You know when you used to get bottles and you'd take them to the shop and get money back? Yes. That. It was probably like one of those things when my mum and dad

went to the corner shop, bought some big bottles of pop, we drank it, and then I took them back and got the 5p change. Did you live in like New York in the 1930s or something? No! It was a popular thing to have recyclable glass bottles. I think it was

Barr and Schweppes. They were the companies that did the whole thing where it was like, if you return this to the store, you get 5p or something. Now Schweppes, I think, was a British company, wasn't it? And so Coca-Cola hadn't completely dominated back in the sort of early 80s in the same way. Coca-Cola owns Sweps now.

Now they do. But I don't think they owned it then. Do you see what I mean? Yeah. And Bar, that's an interesting... They still do it, don't they? They do your generic cream soda, lemonade. I think in Scotland they still do it.

Yeah. Did they... Bar made Iron Brew, didn't they? Yeah, they make Iron Brew. That's their biggest hit. Yeah, but then they've shat that out by getting rid of the

sugar tax sugar tax now you have to and it's really disappointing for me personally so it tastes like shit so I'm just not going to

buy it so therefore I'm not buying your thing anymore so it doesn't make any fucking difference so it's worse because you get less

diabetes and obesity I just go buy normal coke but you have to pay more for it so I don't drink a lot of Coke. Yeah, no, neither do I. I'm with you.

So you're not for the sugar tax. You don't like it. No, I think it's fucking stupid. There's another reason to tax us. I've noticed... By saying, here's something bad for you. Now, to protect you, we have to tax it. Yeah.

That's what they did with cigarettes, isn't it? And they're going to do it with porn. All right. It'll be a porn tax. I'm going to be out of pocket! Okay. Now... Let's drink. Alright. It'll be a porn tax. I'm going to be out of pocket! Okay. Now. Let's drink.

Yes. Now, the sugar tax has affected when I DJ. I like to start the evening perhaps with a glass of cola. Yeah. And, you know, I went out.

Before you start smashing back three pints of shots. Yes, exactly. And then getting into a right wreck. Right. And telling innocent women about when they're

coming up to you for a bit of a chat at the DJ booth. You fucking give her the big I am. I did not. I just didn't understand what she was up to that's all didn't think to ask can we discuss the next record what's to discuss you know i mean i've selected it this is what it's called drinking what we've been trying to get our hands on what i tried to say paul what i was trying to say is when the sugar tax came in and so i get the glass of cola before i start my dj set

is when the sugar tax came in and so I get the glass of cola before I start my DJ set. What's this? Yeah. And they've just simply, if you ask for a Coke, you get Coke Zero now. Do you know what I mean?

How fucking dare they? Do you know what I mean? I didn't ask for a fucking Coke Zero. Did I ask for a Coke Zero? I didn't fucking ask for that, did I? Anyway. So this, as our inaugural soda jerk beverage.

Inaugural official beverage to the froth shop with Dave Barbera. Dave Barbera. The jerk founder. The soda jerk employee. Soda jerk employee. This is Fanta Shakarta. Now, you got a big old bell on about this, didn't you, a little while ago? Yes, I did.

Because you were all like, oh, what's it made of? What's it? What's it? What's like, oh, what's it made of? What's it? What's it? What's its secret? But what is it made of? It's elderflower, isn't it? And lemon, by the looks of things. It's elderflower and lemon. It's probably a slightly shittier flavoured lemonade. Yes, so that's

your prediction. But the picture on the label has these little things that look like daisies, don't they? And a slice of lemon. I mean, there's no English on the back of this. But i was why i got a big bell on about it paul is because i saw it in the shops and it coincided with fanta i don't know if you've noticed they've they've they've released like loads cherry like seven or eight new flavors melon everyone's doing peach and melon flavored stuff at the moment yeah it's a whole brave new world it's like oh we're coca-c, we're Coca-Cola.

We're really sorry that we've had to make all of our drinks sugar-free for the tax thing. Have mango one. Have a mango. Have a peach. Have a strawberry. Have you tried those? They're awful. We're panicking.

Peach Coke. Peach Coke. Yeah. Did you like that one? No, but it was the least offensive. Did you try the mango one? Yeah, it was too sweet. It was horrible.

But fake sweet. Again, the sweetness tastes horrible. I fucking can't drink it. I like when they're not that sweet or when they're undercut. The whole joy of cola really is the kind of bitterness and acidity that cuts through the sweet. Do you see what I mean? It's not just the flavour of the sweet. The sweetness just makes that flavour worse.

Yeah. It's the kind of sweetness that doesn't get cut through. It's a blanket sort of artificial sweetness that you can't, you know what I mean? It doesn't clear. Anyway, shall we?

Let's open it up. Oh. I was given my bottle at the Video Games Live, Live, Live, Live show. Okay. A lot of people gave me stuff. If you're listening

and you meet me in a live scenario, like a show or whatever, by all means, give me stuff. Right. It has a distinctly elderflower and lemon smell.

It's one of these weird smells where... It's that Shakarta smell. It's that weird smell where it's like, one minute it's unpleasant, then the next minute it's quite nice. And then it's bad, and then it's nice. Now, this is room temperature, but we're going to pour it over a little ice. A little bit of ice. Okay.

I suspect that it's a bit kind of, you know, it's a bit misty, isn't it? Yeah. It's like cloudy lemonade. It's cloudy. Cloudy, yeah. So here we go. It doesn't have a lot of flavour. It's like a weak lemonade with a floral kind of aftertaste.

It's not too bad. It's not too bad. I think with the ice in it's helped it because I think room temperature this would be pretty fucking nasty. The bubbles seem to have disappeared completely very fast.

Oh God, it went, bubbles. What bubbles? Why did it do that? It seems kind of flat. Is it because these are sort of old bottles?

No, it wouldn't make any difference. The carbonation. It's very low carbonation, isn't it? You can see it fizz off like aspirin. It's weird.

Maybe that's just the way the recipe is. Yeah, it's not too bad. It's very low carbonation, isn't it? You can see it fizz off like aspirin. It's weird. Maybe that's just the way the recipe is. Yeah. It's not too bad. It's quite a distinct sort of flavour. Do you know what I mean? Again, it is a flowery kind of lemonade. And it's not bad. Slightly floral lemonade.

I saw a whole bunch of what I thought Eastern European women on the tube the other day. Everyone had one of these, a bottle of Shakarta. So maybe it's a kind of fashionable thing. Maybe it's all the flavour that works overseas more than Britain. Give it a mark. Out of five.

I'm going to give it, on froth scale of fizz, one. But on a flavour scale, I'm going to give it a three. The flavour is quite nice, quite refreshing. It's all right, yeah.

Do you know what I mean? If it was fizzier, and maybe with more ice, you know, mix it all up, get it nice and nice quite refreshing it's alright yeah do you know what I mean if it was fizzier and maybe with more ice you know mix it all get it nice and cold probably really refreshing yeah you're right

I'm not against it and it doesn't have that cloying sweetness that sometimes no it doesn't have that sweetener aftertaste which I was a bit concerned about

let's have let's finish this section Paul the jerk with the other soda oh yeah let's talk about that then because I went to this shop

at a Indulston Junction. They had the selection of soft drinks. It made me cry. There were a lot of different soft drinks. They had, you know, Bundaberg, the Australian brand. They do rum, Bundaberg. And they do a very good... Bundaberg.

Bundaberg. Bundaberg. They do a very... Bundies, they call, you know, Australians. Have a Bundy,erg. Bundaberg. Bundaberg. They do a very... Bundies, they call... You know, Australians. Have a Bundy, mate. Have a fucking Bundow. Get a Bundow.

I think it's Bundow. Bundow. Because it's like cheap rum. They make rum as well. And that's sort of like, you know, mad dog or whatever. It's just nasty rum that poor people drink, you know. Yeah.

Like a diamond white of rum. Yes. Okay. Yeah, that's been told to me by an actual Australian. But they also do soft drinks. Because Australians aren't hateful at all. No, they're not.

They also do... I don't like Australians. No, stop. It's the French and the Australians with you. Although you deny the French, but you did tell me in private that you hate the French. Well, no, you had no use for them,

is what you said. I didn't say I had no use for the French. You did. You did. I had no use for the Australians. Okay, okay. you had no use for them, is what you said. I didn't say I had no use for the French. You did. You did. Got no use for the Australians. Okay, okay. Bundaberg, but they do a ginger ale. Okay.

A soft drink ginger ale, which is really actually nice. Very smooth, but still quite gingery. Okay. But they, just like everyone else, it seems, have been expanding. So I've had one which was like a lemon and bitters, soft drink on them, and also a grapefruit one. Oh. Which these were in this shop.

I've noticed that as well. Have you seen they've brought out Coca-Cola mixers or whatever they are, Asda. It's like Coca-Cola with a hint of cinnamon and something else. Everyone's going crazy with flavours at the moment. They're meant to mix with other cocktails. You can drink it as it is, but I think it's meant to be a mixer.

In a cocktail? Yeah. Crazy. And they've done a Coca-Cola Taurine Energy drink now as well, haven't they? By the way, I've had that. Let's get it on. We need to get it on this section.

It's fucking horrible. I want to taste it. It tastes like cheap cola and cheap Red Bull. Yeah. So the whole thing tastes cheap. And just because it's got the Coca-Cola brand on, it means nothing. It means nothing having that Coca-Cola brand on it. No. It's nothing. It's nothing. Yeah. So the whole thing tastes cheap. And just because it's got the Coca-Cola brand on, it means nothing. It means nothing having that Coca-Cola brand on it.

No. It's nothing. Okay. Paul, now, this is another one I picked up in this shop, and I'll be going back there. This really caught my eye, because look at the retro styling on this. But it looks like it's a 70s bottle.

It looks like a bottle from the 70s. It's got, like, sort of schmutz on it. Which is where it's been banging against all the glasses in a crate. In a crate. Yeah. It's, if they've sort of produced this as a sort of fake retro look, that's pretty impressive, isn't it? Because it really does look like an old school

sort of soda bottle that you would return for a dime or something. Definitely. It's Limca everybody. So imagine it's a lemon drink. Yeah, and it is cloudy. It's a cloudy, very similar to can imagine it's a lemon drink. Yeah, and it is cloudy. It's a cloudy, very similar to the Shakarta Fankta. They've got an opener for it. Oh, brilliant.

Give it a pop there. I'll pop off the lid. So again, this is Limca. You can find pictures of all of the... I'll pop off and then Josh off. You'll find pictures of all of the things we taste on the show on our website. Thecheapshow.co.uk That's really got that bleachy lemonade

smell to it. It does say MLG date. I'm not sure what MLG means. But 08-12-18. So are we okay to drink this? I bought it a month ago. I bought it a month ago in this country, so, you know. You know what it smells like?

It's not going to be poisonous if it's a year out of date, is it? Do you know what I mean? Well, it's not even a year, is it? It's a couple of months when you think about it. Yeah. Six months. Yeah. Fucking Stuart drinking that Cresta.

The Cresta, which was bloody idiot. Sometimes, Stuart, sometimes it's okay not to put it in your mouth well that's all that's what she said yay so what do you think of the smell it tastes like

the little blocks you put in toilet urinals it totally does doesn't it it's exactly that smell let's have we're going to taste this where's my fucking glass

have you tasted it now oh this is my glass that was yours there that's not mine well it's not this is definitely mine so I don't know where you've put yours. Where the fuck did I put mine?

Oh, there it is. Okay. I've got a little bit in. And yeah, it's a very chemically lemon. It's a much better fizz. Oh, that tastes like a toilet. That tastes like a fucking bog. It really does, doesn't it?

That's not very good at all. Are you definitely sure that isn't for toilet? Like, we just haven't drunk toilet cleaner. Because, mate, that is the most toilety thing I've ever drunk. That's a particular thing, isn't it? It really tastes like that bleach that they put in toilets. Not that I eat that, but the smell of it. Like those toilet cakes is what it tastes like.

Isn't it? Those cakes. That lemony, toilety... Wow, that's terrible. And even the smell when you go into a bathroom. You know when you go into a toilet at a club or a pub and that smell hits you? It really does taste like that. It's bizarre.

Another drop? Yep. That's it. It really does, though. Fucking weird. They used fucking lemon pledge in it, basically, don't they? That is horrible. That is Limco, ladies and gentlemen.

And it tastes like toilets. But you know what I think it must be? It must be one of these cult things from the place it originated. You know, the way that people sort of get nostalgic for things from there. You know, because if you had like a Panda Pop chariot, you'd probably think, oh, maybe, you know, do you know what I mean? It's appealing to the nostalgia of... What, drinking out of fucking toilets? No, but that's people who grow up where this was made. We've got a board meeting.

We're trying to get a new drink out of market. We want to really kind of touch on the nostalgia bone of our potential audience. So what I'm thinking is that, how about we make a drink that tastes and smells just like having a piss in a shitty pub? How about that? Brilliant. Shall we do all that?

Yeah. And we'll call it Limia. Limca. Limca. Thank you. That's a good idea. Now, but I just, sorry to hurry you, but we've got this uncle Grumbly.

He's outside. He's got a whole range of tasting jams. You know what I'm going to do? What? Drink some more Shakarta to get rid of the taste. Have a cocktail. Cocktail. Pour a little bit of Limca.

Limca and Shakarta. So this is half Fanta, half Limca. It's Fanta or Limta. Give it a little taste there, Paul. Here we go. Still smells like a toilet. So this is half that toilet shit and half the fucking flower elderflower wank.

All right, here we go. Better than both? Actually, yes. Really? It does taste better when you mix it. Let's have a taste. It does. It almost tastes like a cocktail mixer.

That's quite nice isn't it Bizarre We've done some major science today Okay so There you go little lad Hope you enjoyed my soda jerking Right please come again There's all sorts of sodas out here

No you Why's my voice totally changed Because of this shit Fuck it That's it. So what's the... What are we finishing off the show with today, Paul? Well, today we're going to... Don't do that.

That's one of your fucking things. Drop the bass. Imagine you were... Don't do that. Drop the bass. All right, good. We're doing Silverman's Platter. Silverman's Platter.

It's not Silverman's Platter. It's Cannon's Platter. It's only a short one. Cannon's Platter. It's only a short one. All right, I'm interested. Now, I haven't seen any of these. No.

Because these are what you've brought back from your recent trip abroad. So I was staying with Jenny Zagrino in Echo Park in LA. And she's a comedian. And she's a comedian. She's a very very very funny lady During the day

I'd pop out And I'd go wandering Along Sunset Strip It's a really long long long long road Is Sunset Strip And Sunset Boulevard Part of the same road? Yeah

Strip's a small part of the Overall boulevard Oh okay The boulevard goes For miles I never knew that Oh there you go So

The boulevard's miles and miles Yeah It goes right from like Downtown LA All along through The strip is where And the strip is where All the bars are Yeah, it goes right from like downtown LA all along through Hollywood. And the strip is where all the bars are? Yeah, and it's all kind of the touristy stuff as well. Okay.

Yeah. Man's Chinese Theatre? No, that's further up. So that's Hollywood, they would say. But that's still on? That's on Sunset, though, yeah. Okay. So you can go literally across the whole of the top end of LA by going along on Sunset

anyway the little area I was in near Echo Park was very kind of hipstery there was a place I went to called IM8Bit which was a video game shop that kind of only sold

really rare artwork and t-shirts and vinyl to where I got that Conker's Bad Fur Day album did they have any actual old cartridges nope

but it was like reproductions and 25th anniversaries and vinyls of soundtracks and all this kind of just game ephemera but it was like reproductions and 25th anniversaries and vinyls of soundtracks and all this kind of just game ephemera yeah it was more like a kind of like an art gallery that's so much stuff more than a shop yeah that kind of thing i also went to a little weird wonderful shops on that way however i went into one place and it was called it was like cosmic vinyl i want to say okay and i went in and there was a little guy in there. I say little guy, but you look like the kind of guy you'd exactly expect to work in an LA record shop off Sunset. Was he hairy?

Long hair, thin. You know, he's listening to some kind of song that you've never heard of, but he knows you've never heard of because he wants you to ask him what the song is. And then he'll sell it to you. Yeah, that kind of thing. But it had an amazing collection in there it wasn't elaborate it was just one shop, not too big but it had boxes on every kind of shelf

and things on the floor you could pull out and draw so if you went hunting around you could explore did they have 7 inches? they had singles you're going to find out some of the stuff I got at the one end of the shop though they had a fake 70s living room so like a fake you know like a couch and an old 70s record player and an old tv and it had a little stage they do comedy there some nights as well so that's a nice little scene you know yeah so it was like a comedy club and a record shop

and the guy there was really friendly you know you go into some place and you feel intimidated because the kind of wankers you get in record shops. Yeah. Just like this kind of scowling scowly, knows better than you. Humorous as well. Humorous, tired scowling, bitter. It's a bit like that kind of, what was it, High Fidelity

that book, whatever it was called. Yes. That's what it was called. Yeah. It's that kind of mentality, the muso. Snotty. Yeah. Superior. Yes. Un's that kind of mentality, the muso. Snotty. Yeah. Yeah. Superior. Yes. Unnecessarily superior. Yes, because he's just a schmo who works in a fucking record shop. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, this guy seemed quite nice. He was very chatty and he came in and he was like, oh, British and that kind of thing. But he left me to it. I'm digging around. And they had a great big box of eight tracks. I would love to have bought a few, but there was not a single fucking one there. I was even mildly amused by having on a shelf. It was all like 30 country and western hits

or songs from a musical that you've never heard of. Now, for younger listeners, 8-track was a format, a tape format, that was invented primarily for cars. Yes, it was. And didn't really take off in this country. But in the mid-70s, I guess, in the US, it was a big thing, wasn't it? It was how they listened to music on the road.

If you didn't have a car radio, you had an 8-track. Yeah, yeah. Which is, you know... So they'd do an album on it, I guess, wouldn't they? Yeah, but the thing is, as Techmoans kind of said in the past... Did you see Techmoans' latest thing? About what? The big record?

The recorder thing. Yes. Oh, wow. Fucking want one. Because all that Kenny Everett stuff. Anyway, check out Tech Money. His channel's great. But he was saying, you know,

how they sometimes have to repurpose the tracks on eight-track albums because they don't quite fit on the side of tape. Yeah, yeah. So you have a big gap. Or you split a song in half. They'd actually do that. In the worst case.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was tempted to get a few eight-tracks just because, you know, you don't often see them in the UK. Well, you need a player, don't you? You're never going to get a player. Oh, no, this is a kind of ornament. Yes.

But again, they were all... The titles were boring, basically. It was all country and western stuff. The only one I nearly got was the soundtrack to Convoy. Okay. One of the very last Sam Peckinpah films from Chris Christopherson and his Convoy. That's interesting, yeah. But how much were they going for,

if you don't mind me asking? 70 cents, 50 cents, 20 cents. Oh, so you could... It was just luggage room, basically. It was just, do I want to take this piece of shit home just so I can buy an 8-track? Because you just really can't buy them in the UK.

No, you do see them at the record and tape exchange in Notting Hill. But they're, like, few and far between. Now, if I had your mentality and the things that you would look for, I might have bought more specifically for you, but I didn't really know... Yeah, that's because I buy for music

and you're just buying for sort of novelty. Yeah, but also, even though there were genres some boxes were just things so you'd have to go through every

I was in that place for two hours yeah yeah just going through boxes because you go what if I skip that box

but it's got whatever it is now you know the dilemma of the digger you're in some terrible charity shop

do you know what I mean you're going to miss your train and you've been wading through endless Montevani albums. I was going to say Montevani.

James Last. And that fucking... Barbara Streisand. And Chris Christopherson one where they're snogging on the cover comes up eight times. Always the time. But then you think... Bobby Crush. But then you think...

Mrs Mills. Yeah, Mrs Mills. Whatever. And you just think there's nothing here. And those sort of, you know, Beethoven boxes or whatever. And you just... But the fact is, the run right at the back of the filthy box

that you have to lean over and have some guy's arse in your face who's looking at the CDs, you know, that could be the gold. That could be the BBC Radiophonic Schools record or whatever. You know what I mean? They had a BBC record there. And it was a collection of nursery rhymes taken from some

bizarre BBC thing I'd never heard of. But the Comedy Secretary was amazing. They had lots of Firesign Theatre albums there. I've got a few of those. And National Lampoon albums.

Do you know what my favourite Firesign Theatre LP is? We're All Bozos on the Bus. Is that the one with Nassie Gorin on it? The story is there's all these sort of clowns.

It's very absurd. There's these clowns on the bus and they go and see the Nixon robot and of clowns. It's very absurd. There's these clowns on the bus. The Nixon thing. And they go and see the Nixon robot. Yeah, that's fucking weird. It's almost like psychedelic comedy.

It gets all like... Well, that was the thing. That's pretty good. Comedy albums as a concept were huge in America because they were college things. So lots of colleges got into Python because of these albums. Yeah, of course. And also Feinstein Theatre was like a huge college comedy band. And almost unheard of in this country for a sound theatre.

Yeah, because they didn't translate. They were like a comic theatre troupe, weren't they, really? Yeah, but they specialised specifically in making comedy albums. So it was all about the soundscape. I've got about three or four of them. Yeah, I've got two at home. Like I say, that's my favourite. We're All Bozos on the Bus is a classic.

The one I've got is the one that has Karl Marx and other Marx on it. Groucho Marx. Groucho and Karl Marx yeah I can't remember what the title was called I've also got one which is

I mean it's an acquired taste fire some of it's not as good I've got one which is like their fake private eye oh that's good one that's a whole B side

or an A side that's a whole side of an album I've got a whole LB yeah yeah they're an acquired taste but if you like them you'll end up really like them

and they really put a lot of effort into what they were doing so I went looking through all these bins and boxes, and I was there for a few hours. And frankly, it was so hot outside, and I'd sweated so much that all my clothes were see-through, even my denim jeans. I didn't think they'd bring shorts, because I just didn't think it was going to be hot. Your jeans weren't see-through.

They were just sodden. No, but they were sodden. You know what I mean? It was all up in there. I felt like saying, excuse me for that, when I was fixing myself, frankly. Excuse me for that when I was fixing myself, frankly. Excuse me for that. Anyway. It's like shame, isn't it? Saying,

sorry, not like I apologise, but excuse me. It's like more shameful. That happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You saw me get fingers deep inside my own gusset. Yeah. Gulch engineering. Imagine if she just put her hand out and said sniff it. Oh, mate. And it smelled of fucking limb cut. That'd be alright. It would mean she and said, sniff it. Oh, mate. And it smelled of fucking Limca.

That'd be all right. It would mean she'd been bleaching it. Eventually, I found two. Two records I thought, for whatever reason, you'd appreciate. So, I'm going to give you the one that is, you know, fun first. Right, here we go. Oh. Oh.

Oh, I'm having a thing. Now, it's not already. Just by looking at it, I love this. But it's not quite what you think. But have a little look. I've looked at this, ladies and gentlemen. He's handed it to me. It's a seven-inch single.

And it's a yellow label. Yeah. And on the label, it's got Sesame Street. Yeah. It's got the Sesame Street street sign logo there. And I just love this. I don't have a record that has the Sesame Street. Yeah. It's got the Sesame Street size street sign logo there. And I just love this. I don't have a record that has the Sesame Street logo.

Really? The seven inch. No. There was a few there, but this is interesting. Ooh. Ooh. Because I collect Muppets sevens.

Yeah. You know that. I've got Manamana. Yes. And other ones as well. Yeah. Anyway. Now, this is,

what is it? What actually is it? This is it this is kate taylor and the simon taylor family who must be some of those you know non-muppet people on the on the show in harmony on one side and on the other side winking blinking and nod yeah it looks like wanking it's not wanking blanking and and knob. By the Doobie Brothers. Yeah. Very strange. So what this is, it's a single that came off. This is the Doobie Brothers,

but they did a song especially for Sesame Street. Yes. Oh, oh, oh. What it is, is you've got a single there taken from an album called Sesame Street in Harmony. And what happened was they... It's from an LP called In Harmony. They did an album where they asked

all the contemporary artists of the 70s, whenever it was, to do a cover of a famous nursery rhyme or folk song or whatever. So side A is the Doobie Brothers, because that was released as a single. And they're doing a version of a song called Winky, Blinky and Nod. 1980. Yeah. And the other one, In Harmony by whatever her name is, that's the kind of album title.

It's just a kind of, it's the original track for it, which is kind of all about Pete and Harmony and singing together. So it's the title track for the album. Yeah.

But there was two albums released on a similar theme. Contemporary artists doing nursery rhymes for a Sesame Street album. And what was popular about it was off the success of the second album,

that's where we got the famous Bruce Springsteen Santa Claus Coming to Town from that was initially meant to be for a Sesame Street album released independently

and then put onto the second album because it was so popular so yeah there's lots of like Tina Turner Elton John I think is on the second album they all do

covers of Kids I honestly love this yeah and what's the tune like should we listen to a bit of it right now yeah why not? Why not? of crystal light into a sea of blue Now where are you going and what do you wish

the old moon has to bring We've got to fish for the herring fish that live in this beautiful sea That's of silver and gold and we said we're gonna make it in love It's a little folksy but it's got that Doobie Brothers twang.

You know, it's got that 70s folk music. I don't know what you want to call it. Yeah, because you don't know how to describe it. No, I don't. Are you talking about a kind of sort of funky? It's very Doobie Brothers in sound. In sound and how it's built. But, because the song itself

is kind of folkloric, it's a folksy song. Yeah. Imagine basically crossing a Backpuss track with a Doobie Brothers track. Okay.

And that's kind of what you've got. I think that was like a dollar? Buck 99, two dollars. Oh, okay. Good, I forgot the prices. Strangely, on the sleeve

it says picture sleeve in collection. Extras. So, does that mean it'd be more expensive? It's strange. No, because when I forgot the prices. Strangely, on the sleeve, it says picture sleeve in collection. Extras. So does that mean it'd be more expensive? It's strange. No, because when I asked about that, he goes, sometimes you just put it into sleeves that are free. You know, like they don't have the sleeves that we have that.

So I'd like to see what the sleeve was for that. But that is going to be in my collection box, Paul. Good. I love it. Thank you very much. Hopefully you'll like this next one. Because when I found that, I was like, well, we've been seeing a lot of Flexies recently. I'm so into Flexies since you got me into Flexies by buying that book.

Yeah. And, you know, we should also listen at some point to the pickle manufacturer Flexie. Oh, yeah. That I bought in Brighton. Oh, yeah. Epicure HP. Epicure HP. All right.

We'll do that. We'll do it in the next episode. Yeah. All right. We'll do it. Show me this LA one. So this is the Flexie, is it? Yeah. Now'll do it in the next episode. Yeah, all right, we'll do it. All right, show me this LA one. So this is the... It's a Flexi, is it?

Yeah. Now, here's the thing with this Flexi. The content you'll know if you know the artist, you'll know the content, but it's what it's actually on. It's what it's actually for, which is really fascinating. Is it a shaped Flexi?

Kind of. So I'll just show you. Yeah. Here we go. California driving school, America's largest and finest by far. Ah, Bob Newhart. Yeah.

Fucking cool. So they've taken the Bob Newhart, very famous material, the driving instructor sketch. And they've pasted it to a card with a spindle hole in the middle of the card and a picture of a driving school on the front. And the Flexi is glued on. It's not glued on, it's the actual... No, it's actually one piece, you're right. But they've done it, they've done a fake record shape

so you know where to put the needle. You can open it up. Oh. What a great item. This is a great little flexi, mate. Over white. It's like a gatefold flexi. And it's got, yeah,

it's got all stuff. As if it was a real pamphlet for a driving in school. Well, it is. It was a real pamphlet for a driving in school. Well, it is. It is a real pamphlet. The idea was to persuade people to go to California driving schools because there were phone numbers. It was kind of like, hey, we're professional and blah, blah, blah.

But for a bit of fun, why don't you listen to this from Bob Newhart? So they've licensed it from Warner Brothers, you can see there. That's really interesting. Bob Newhart. Driver of care, everyone. So, yeah, it's an actual... Oh, this is brilliant. This is real ephemera, man.

Yeah, it's nice. And, you know, it's like you only got them in LA in the 70s. And, you know, they were probably in, like, you know, what do they call them? The driving instructor schools in America. I can't remember what they're called now. AFTs or whatever. I don't know.

I don't know. Oh, fuck. You know when they always say they're in the line at the... DVLA. DVLA or whatever whatever their version of that is yeah because the sisters

Marge's sisters were there the Simpsons were there and right now I can't think about it even though I've seen episodes of the Simpsons

hundreds of times and it's just gone so the Bob Newhart thing's fascinating because as I say it's like I almost like that more it's a lovely flexi

and plays an entire folded unit on the record so you just literally plop on there yeah the whole thing acts like the disc yeah and again which is good which is probably quite good design because the heaviness of the rest of the card yeah means it's more stable do you know what i mean so it's quite a well-designed flexi but like it's also like it's just an advert for the whole thing that they do. So it's like, here's our instructors, how they learn. Here's a fake car. They're all at desks. They look so straight-laced.

The men employed as instructors for California driving schools are specifically selected for their patience and understanding of human nature. And being white. For their knowledge of driver education and for their ability to impart maximum skill in a minimum time. Not the one I had. It was fucking weird. You got to learn to drive in America?

Yeah, in LA. Yeah, it was weird. Mate, he was so weird because he was wearing an obvious wig. Every time I was driving, I saw him just touch himself, just run his leg down his thigh like that. His hand down his thigh. His hand down his thigh. If you run your leg down his thigh like that his hand down his thigh his hand down his thigh if you run your leg down your thigh and then afterwards after that first lesson i was always like creeped out by him and goes don't suppose i could just use your

toilet for a little while just and i was like all right but you're a stranger so blah blah blah blah and i kind of waited outside the house weirdly you know because he's yeah yeah and then he was in there for like 10 minutes now when he when he came out, his hair was different. He changed a wig and then got back into the car and drove off. You know, at least he wasn't, you know. Which is better than the driving instructor I hired next, who was a Russian lady who shouted violently at me as I was driving through Topanga Canyons

on very thin roads with massive fucking sheer drops. And as I'm literally in tears, panicking, and she's screaming in rushing at me because you know you have to when you do a driving lesson america the overall the overall i don't know if it's the same in the uk but the last driver picks you up you drive them to their place and then you carry on your lesson i think they do that here you drive to the next place and then they get in and drive you to where the drop off anyway this person lived up in the fucking mountains so anyway i'm i'm that far from death every few minutes. The woman's shouting

at me. She's grabbing the steering wheel. I'm panicking. I'm having a panic attack. We finally get to this person's house for their driving lesson, and I pour out the front seat in near tears, shaking. And that poor girl gets into the seat. And she gets screamed at. She was very quiet. Crikey.

Drove me home. It was weird silence. No one spoke. Do we really need to play any of the Bob Newhart? No. It's a very famous piece of material. I think it's probably his most famous. Bob Newhart had the whole thing. He'd do a monologue, but he'd do one side of a conversation.

Quite clever writing. That was kind of his thing, wasn't it? His shtick. It was one side of a conversation. Yeah. So it was all implied what the other person was saying. Clever. Yeah. Joyce Grenfell did that as well. Did she? Yeah. Hello, class. Yeah. So it was all like implied what the other person was saying. Clever. Yeah. Joyce Grenfell did that as well.

Did she? Yeah. You know, hello class. Yes. No, Tommy shouldn't do that. Yeah, yeah. It's exactly the same.

If you fill in. Actually, Rowan Atkinson kind of did that as well with his vicar. He did it once or twice. His vicar, yeah. And also the headmaster. The headmaster

and also the devil when they arrive in hell. Oh, yeah. They're good when they're done right and Bob, you could all argue, mastered it. He did, yeah, yeah. He're good when they're done right. And Bob, you could argue, mastered it. He did, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so synonymous with that style. The other one that's popular is the Sir Walter Riley sketch.

Yes, when he's introducing tobacco to... And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, crazy Walter. You burn it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Potatoes. Yeah, yeah. All this.

So, you know, it's a nice... And that's a lovely bit of stand-up, because the whole thing is set off with him saying, now i'm gonna talk to on the professions of the united states which is the most dangerous where they go into work not knowing if they're going to come home at night yeah yeah the drivers yeah yeah and it's so it's actually really kind of sweet to listen to because it's so dry and humble that's the 50s was like that wasn't it the culture was extremely sort of it was all standard to sit on stools. Well, he's known as buttoned down, isn't he? The buttoned

down mind. Yeah. Which means straight laced and kind of low-key, doesn't it, I guess? But his stuff was creative and clever. Yes. People mock it, but they only mock it from the distance of hindsight, being all sneery. So there you go. I found that. And again, I didn't get to go to too many record shops, but that was

local and nearby. Paul, I'm chuffed with those, honestly. I'm actually getting into Flexies, and that is a fucking really nice one. And it's in good condition. When I played it, I was like, oh, I hope it works. But with Flexie collecting, it's not about the music or the content, really.

No. It's about the appearance, isn't it? You know, as the Johnny Trunk book sort of said. Yeah. So it's a sort of different sort of avenue of vinyl appearance, isn't it? You know, as the Johnny Trunk book sort of said. So it's a sort of different sort of avenue of vinyl collecting, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? There's something

adorable about Flexies in all their shapes and forms. They are novelty to the extreme, but, I don't know, ephemera to the extreme. Oh, let's talk about it now. Fucking let's do it. The pickle one. This is the pickle one that I picked up in Brighton. It's a two-sided flexi.

That's novel. Unusual. Party time hits. What does that mean, though? Is it like a kind of... It's like Stars Over 45 or that Music for Pleasure album that you just bought. Yeah, I bought a pexy thing. It was shit.

A bunch of session guys just doing covering hits of the day, which you used to get, which completely doesn't exist at all anymore. No, those Top of the Pops albums that were out were all that. Exactly. Just all covers. And I thought, oh, it's the BBC show. No, it related to it all. But this is a promotional item for a company called Epicure HP.

Now, I wonder if the HP has something to do with HP Source. Oh, maybe. I mean, not that I think I'm going to get much more out of it. HP did make pickles, though. That's it. That's their pickle brand then, isn't it? Epicure by HP. It should not be played on automatic equipment.

What does that mean? Like an auto. Like a jukebox or something. Yeah. Or an auto arm, auto changer. Lintone records. Which, they're the ones. They're the ones. They made most of them. The book says, by and large, if you saw it, it was. Lintone Records. Which, they're the ones. They're the ones.

They made most of them. The book says, by and large, if you saw it, it was a Lintone. Yeah. They were the big manufacturer of Flexies. If I knew we could sell enough, I would love to make a cheap show Flexie. Now, we did look into that, didn't we? The prices. They're expensive.

Is it like 700 quid for one or something? No, I don't know if it was that bad. We'd have to do a very limited run, maybe like 50, and it would probably cost us a couple of hundred quid. Oh, really? I thought it was much more prohibitive. And we'd have to charge more than you'd really need to for the fire. Look, it's a tricky thing.

If we get enough feedback, maybe we'll do it. But I thought, you know, maybe a nice white Flexi. Now. Or see-through, that'd be nice. Yeah, see-through. A spoffy kind of looking coloured one maybe on a postcard

those yeah you know there's a lot of design considerations isn't there basically oh I'd love to do it

we do we would be able to use the sort of cheap show artists to do it Party Time hits record one they had the cover

of record two there yeah which I would have got if they'd had the record but there you go they didn't it's a two-sided 33 RPM so like a little EP yeah there, which I would have got if they'd had the record. But there you go. It's a two-sided, 33

RPM, so like a little EP. Side one, Simon Says. Put your hands in the air. Which is by Curtis Knight. Is it? Weird. Curtis Knight is an R&B singer who used to, who worked with Hendrix in his early career

famously. Strange. I didn't know he wrote Simon Says. He didn't. He might have done. Think about it. Weird. Think about it. If he'd written in the 50s

and it was like a kind of novelty song that he'd sold for whatever bit of money. Yeah, possibly, yeah. Yellow River, and the writer's Geoff Christie. Oh, bloody, oh, blah, dah. I don't think we need to say who the writer is. Yeah, Blink-182.

Lemon and McCartney. And Amarillo by Sadaka, which has to be Neil Sadaka, right? Yeah. And Greenfield. Hey Jude,

on open side two, Lemon and McCartney, Satisfaction, Jagger Richards, Aquarius, Rado, Ragni, McDermott.

Is Aquarius, we think is the song from... This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. Yes, from...

I'd like to play a clip of it, but it's probably going to flag the fucking content.arius. Yes, maybe. I'd like to play a clip of it, but it's probably going to flag the fucking content. And then Bad Moon Rising. I hear Bad Moon Rising. I've got a brewer on the way. Don't go in there right now. Give it five minutes.

There's a bad poo on the floater. Why is this my humour, man? Why is it our humour? I don't know. But it's what we are. Some bad poo on the... Oh, God. Right.

Epicure pickles. And it doesn't do much to sort of promote the pickles. It's got pictures of vegetables, but it just says... But HP do do pickles still to this day. I wonder who it has, as these things often do, a sort of advert voiceover before the tunes kick in. You're going to have to check that out. You're going to have to check that out.

Okay. Right, well, that was a lovely, I think, flexi, a lovely little splatter platter. Thank you very much. And they're yours. And you can see pictures of these on the website. On the website.

Right, okay, let's wrap this fucking show up. Don't do that. And I just want to say very briefly, because this will come out just before the live show. Digitizer, live show. If you're coming along to that,

if you listen to this podcast and you're coming to Digitizer live, we will be selling printed editions of the Cheap Show magazine and special Barco Battler Cheap Show cards as well.

Excellent. So I think it's going to be four quid. And if we get everyone to sign them, we might make another slap of another quid on that because I want to make sure Yvonne, who made these magazines and put so much fucking time, effort, and talent into doing it, gets some money back.

Yes. Because we're going to get into merch. I'm going to do it in a way that helps Yvonne and Tony. So the idea is they'll do the merch make the money because they've done so much for us in the past

absolutely and we'll just worry about the major logos and t-shirts and things like that so with that in mind let's make Yvonne some money

if you're coming on to the live show buy a magazine help her out and see you there see you there well you will be gone at the halfway point

yeah and I'll be playing characters so it's not really me. It's going to be fun. So anyway, yeah, patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Donate as little or as lot as you want. Twitter at thecheapshowpod, at PaulGannonShow.

I have a Twitter presence as well. My Twitter handle is EliSnoid, E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. You can find us on Reddit. You can find us on Instagram. You can find us on Facebook. Just look for Cheap Show Podcast on any of those services. You'll probably find us. You can have a chat about the episodes you just listened to on Reddit just look for Cheap Show podcast on any of those services you'll probably find us you can have a chat

about the episodes you just listened to on Reddit as well that's fun I can't get it my phone doesn't go he wrote listen

should we just end with you going little neg out negging me you're negging me like a mid 90s pick up artist anyway

80s Paul has a look on his face like why did I. Anyway, 80s. Paul has a look on his face like, why did I say the word 80s? Yeah, why did I? That's when I said Blue Peter before for no reason. He referred to, listener, he referred to Cheap Show as Blue Peter. There's one thing this show isn't.

It's fucking Blue Peter. That reveals a weird, conflicted inner core in your soul, mate. Anyway, email us about anything. Thecheapshow at gmail.com. And that's it. Thank you very much. For another week. Now, you're off to France for a bit, aren't you?

Oh, la, la. You're going to bring back some French cheap eats, maybe? Yeah, if I see anything. Oh, well, if you see anything, bring it back. Surely will. Yeah, and that's all. Thank you for supporting us, and thank you for listening. It's been another episode

of Cheap Show goodbye goodbye Hello, Cheap Show listener. Want to get your hands on some Cheap Show merch? Well, now you can. Why not support Yven by going to www.cheapmag.shop and picking up your physical copy of the Cheap Show unofficial magazine. It's packed full of interviews, competitions, games, articles, and features written by some cheapskates themselves. Also, want to get your hands on a t-shirt? Well,

theredbubble.com now has a page by Tony, one of our artists on Cheap Show. And if you go to tinyurl.com forward slash rbcheapshow that's rbcheapshow you can now get your hands on limited edition designs made

by Tony for Cheap Show's cheapskates like yourself. So why don't pop along and support these wonderful people while you can. Pip pip, bye bye.