CheapShow - Ep 142: Electric Moogaloo

Episode Date: August 30, 2019

It's once again time to "Hit The Moog" with another musically packed episode of CheapShow. This week, Paul and Eli focus on clearing out the backlog of Silverman's Platter to deliver more weird and wonderful musical oddities directly into your ears. We travel from the world of Moog synthesizers to retro 70s orchestral arrangements via a trip to the moon with "Mr Astronaut". There is also look into what happens when UK radio personalities decides they want to release a pop hit. The results are actually pretty painful! Poor Simon Groom. Be warned, Eli is running on empty this week and Paul just simply wants to sing about sailors! And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-142-electric-moogaloo If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow

What? Oh, I pretend moody, Paul. No, I just wonder what you're laughing at. You. Why? Because when you... What? When you stare into the middle.

Like a little forlorn, forlorn ghost. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. My name is Paul Gannon, and this is a podcast all about living the best life you can with the least amount of money in your pocket. It's not, though, is it? It's not, really. No. It's just two mucky boys being dirty. Here we are in the House of Pickles today, Paul.

Welcome back. Thank you. It's been a while since we've been in the HOP. And, whoa, it's ripe today. It's very ripe today. Today is a bit of a dog day afternoon in some respects. What do you mean?

What does that mean? You don't know what that means. Dog day afternoon. I don't know. I thought it sounded right in my head, but then it came out and it was like you know that's a film about a man who holds up

a bank to pay for a sex change for his partner yes or his friend good film yeah very good film but I was like then sorry so

engineer it backwards Paul how does that relate to what you're saying because it's a humid room I think it's just a reference that he makes to some work of literature or something in the film

I don't know anyway the dog days of summer that's Shakespeare mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the film. I don't know. The Dog Days of Summer. That's Shakespeare. Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun. Welcome to the cheap show. No. What, no?

No, it wasn't good enough. None of this was good enough. Let's start again. The banter's at a low point. Let's start again! Hello, Paul! No, let's start again. No, let's not.

Let's start again. No, come on. I'll do a run-up. All right. Hello, Paul. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You said let's do a run-up. Not hold your head away from the microphone and go,

fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa. I don't know what that meant. He could have done this. Could have done this. I'll take a run-up, Paul. Hello, everyone. See, that's so lame. It was better than your woof, woof, woof, woof.

What about this? Go on. Stop going fof, fof, fof. And leaning back. Mic technique, my friend. Anyway. What's coming up on the show today, Paul? No, we haven't done the intro.

This is the cold open still, officially speaking. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. We're the economy comedy podcast where we go through the bargain bins, the charity shops, the thrift stores, the basement bargain alleys. The basement bargain alley? Yeah. Jumbo sales. That's like an urban market.

Goodwill. That doesn't exist. It does. Goodwill is not charity. Is it not? No, it's a corporation. Welcome to Cheap Joe. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse

people love noodles alright it's a fact of cheap show you're going to have to fucking reset noodle time Noodle time Tales from the Darkspawn How's the pick up? A fight of shite

This is called Gunantay. Hello. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheap Show. I'm not going on a nuzzle. We're doing something a little bit different, aren't we, this week, Mr. Silverman? I don't know. What are we doing this week? Well, sometimes we have so much platter, we don't know what to do with it and so today we thought we'd expunge some of the backlog of platter in our system and uh just make an episode all

about the weird and wonderful vinyl that we find along our way in chariot shop hunting are you saying there's a bit of build-up of platter in the colon of cheap show yeah and it's uh impacted a little bit so we're gonna die die like Elvis on the loo. No. If we don't expunge. Did you just say expunge? No, I think you said expunge. No, I said expunge.

Expunge. Good word anyway. Thank you. Expunge this dirty compacted platter block. Yeah. With what? A nice bit of a diarrhoea medicine to help loosen up all that vinyl goodness. Laxative.

Laxative. That's the word I was looking for. So we're going to be an oral laxative today as we pour through your ears via your brain and... Out your bum. And out your bum full of music. There you go. That's not good. It's not good. Let's start the whole thing again. Welcome to Cheap Show.

I'm Paul Gannon. I'm Eli Silverman. And this is the Economy Comedy Podcast where me and Eli go for the bargain bins, the charity shops, the powerlands, the discount stores of Great Britain. Good. And deliver some of the treasure we find amongst that trash. And today we have a platter special. It's not all charity shop bought, Paul, but most of it's second hand. Well, let's get this show started. of it second hand. Well, let's get this show started. So yeah, we thought we'd do a music special. Yeah. Welcome to the show. So, where do we start? I don't know. Oh, well, I know from a previous episode, a lot of people were hoping,

yearning, Eli, yearning, hoping, praying, yearning, needing. Yes, needing. A follow-up to your Moog first entry. My first entry on the Moog? Yeah. Well, I won't promise Moog today, Paul, but it's very synthesising, my selection today. You said to me, Moog, and I've told people Moog. Well, Moog's a very narrow definition, isn't it?

Is it? Firstly, it's a Moog, okay? Well, he said he wasn't bothered. Did he say he wasn't bothered? He went, I can't be fucked. Bob Moog. He counted his money in his bank account and went, you can call me anything you like.

Bob Moog. I was reading a bit about the origin of the Moog synthesizer. Yes. And there was another guy, the Buchla Box. Have you heard of this? Buchla Box? Which was of this Buchla box which was a sort of very early synth that competed with the Moog but didn't have a um what makes a Moog different from the regular synth uh you know nothing you're a liar nothing you're a liar it

was the first synth why was it yes so the Buchla box a lot of it just came out electronics right and the Buchla box didn't have a keyboard. What Moog wanted to do was make a playable electronic instrument. So there was all dials and knobs. Yes, just dials and knobs and just a tone, you know, that you just did your knob on. Sorry? Did your knob on. You did your knob on tone.

I do a knob on a tone. Six minutes in, ladies and gentlemen. I am sweating. It's a sweaty day today. I have poison pouring from my forehead. Yeah. Oh, I've got to tell you something. The dance floor.

Ah. I was DJing the other day. No, you weren't. And this woman came up to me and just chatted me up. And I was all for it. And then she said she was married. And I went, oh, warning signs. Divorced.

Divorced. This is my story. What do you know about it? It, oh, warning signs, divorce. She's divorced. This is my story. What do you know about it? It's not your story. Shut up. It's my story. Okay. So then I went to the bathroom. And I had to vomit and shit at the same time.

Yeah, no, I don't know about you, ladies and gentlemen, but you may be guessing, Paul, that's not your story, is it? That's not your story. It's Eli's story, isn't it? All right, you forced me to say it then, Paul. Yeah, go on, do it. DJing, all it? That's not your story. It's Eli's story, isn't it? Alright, you forced me to say it then, Paul. Yeah, go on, do it. DJing, alright? Yeah. Yeah, this woman sort of

coming on to me. Before the show, I'm not telling you this on air. I'm just not going to tell you on the podcast. She's kind of coming on to me, you know. How do you know? It's nice. In what way was she coming on to you? She was kissing me. Really? Yes. So you're sitting there, headphone on, getting ready, and she's leaning in and going, is it on the forehead? It was on the cheek.

On the cheek. She kept hugging and kissing me. Alright. And you were like, ugh, get her off. No, I wasn't. I was... Yeah? I was very drunk. Oh, hashtag me too. It's gotta get over. No, it wasn't like that at all. And then,

she kept bringing her divorce up which is always a good shut up line and then I had to go to the loo with some urgency and I

I had a little vom vom but I realised as I was you know about to hurl that there was pressure at the other end

as well and you felt a wet sensation I needed it was emergency time yeah I'm not gonna There was pressure at the other end as well. And you felt a wet sensation. I needed, it was emergency time. I needed to get on the bog. But unfortunately, I was vomiting and shitting at the same time. Here's the thing in that situation.

What do you rank more important in terms of clean up? You can only give one. You want to get the shit in the loo. Yeah. You'd rather be sick on the floor than sick in the toilet and poo on the floor. I think that would be a disaster. I think that. That would be a sort of career-ending disaster.

If I came out and went, ah, shat on the floor. Yeah, we're not going to bring you back next week. It'd be a big embarrassment. And also, it's worse to clean up when you think about it. I got my orifice priorities right in the spur of the moment. But horrible, yeah.

And then I came and I thought, oh, God, I hope she doesn't try and kiss me now because I'm covered in vom. Shitty arse. And she'd gone. I was just lucky. In an Uber. Yeah, someone put her in an Uber. Before she was waiting by the DJ booth,

and all they could hear from the over the sound of the music still playing as you go frog out frog out frog out yeah it was it was a great moment Paul

I'm glad you brought it up for everyone to hear and she went Uber yeah there was no music it was probably just the sound of me expunging

growling out of both ends. Well, that tells from the dance floor out of the way. Let's crack on with the rest of the show. Eli, let's talk about Moog. Okay. And we did, but then I interrupted. So, Moog synthesized playable sounds.

Yes. The first one, basically. But there was a guy called Buchla. Buchla. He had his Buchla box, but he came much more from a sort of experimental background.

It's kind of like the Radiophonic Workshop. Yeah, but much more sort of the art scene. There was the Tape Centre, which was a sort of avant-garde art collective in California. Oh.

And there's people doing experimentations with tape, which is what the Radiophonic Orchestra workshop did. Yeah. It used tape loops. Okay. And there's a famous type of synthesizer called a Mellotron. Oh, I know the Mellotron. Which uses tape loops.

Is that the one they use in Telstar? I believe so. It's very early it's before it's before synthesizer yeah and Mellotron can be beautiful

except when you try and do an impression of it and you just sound like a cat go on no I just did it meow meow meow meow is it Bicky is Bicky back on the show

I'm Bicky and I'm about to release my Bickies alright meow I'm Bickies you I'm Mickey, and I'm about to release my... Bickies! All right. Meow, I'm Bickies. I'm Bicky, you're creeping me out. He's my latest son.

You're creeping me out. Meow, meow, meow. Bickie, could you... Meow, meow, meow, meow. Bickie? Yes? Come over here. I've got some chum. Do you like chum?

Caesar. Do you like nibbles? Do you like nibbles? Do you like nibbles? That's a dark food. No, these are Caesar's nibbles. Caesar nibbles. Right. I've inserted it into my...

Into my meters. And that's your treat. Oh, Bicky, you're making me feel so good But so shameful Delicious Don't eat Bicky's from your meters Oh, Bicky's having a nibble at my meters Alright, now you can go No, Bicky just had a

full day. Right, Moog. Yeah, so yeah, my selections today Paul, I'm not, I can't guarantee 100% that they all contain Moog but they do contain synthesizer. Good, well let's start. What do you want to start with? I'm starting, am I? Yeah, I thought we'd start

with the Moog. We're leading with the Moog. That's what people were crying out for. Play the Moog. Okay. Hit the Moog as a deceased ex-member of Cheap Show. That's what he used to say. Now, Moog was very much associated with easy listening. There was a whole genre of...

And the character from Willow the Wisp. Really? Yeah, that sausage thing. He's called Moog, isn't he? Moog, yeah. Does he make a Moog noise when he comes on? I don't believe he does.

It's just the same name. It's just the name. Although as far as we know he might have been called Moog. There's a whole genre of records which arose late 60s, early 70s where they did

easy listening, they did Moog interpretations of things, didn't they? Was Moog like mainstream ever? Well, didn't they? Was Moog, like, mainstream ever? Well, in that way, it was. It was like, you know, Moog versions of, like, easy listening tunes,

basically, wasn't it? Because Moog turned up a lot in charity shops. Not as much as a Barry Manilow or a, you know, a Top of the Pops thing. Yeah, there's a big crossover with easy listening, and I love those kind of records. And our first choice today has to be the hypothesis of Easy Listening meets Moog.

Right, okay. Because it is the tune. This is off an LP I picked up called Moog España. Okay, so what is this? Is this different Moog playing bands, like a compilation album? No, it's all just Moog versions of Spanish tunes. Okay.

So you've got, they're all arranged and conducted by Sid Bass and produced by Andy Wiswell. You've got a bullfighter on the back, Andy Wiswell. He whizzes well. Yeah, I just like the name, Wiswell. Sounds like a Harry Potter character. I like the name, Harmin Dabati. Okay, well, let's move

on. And so this is not really a Spanish tune. No. But it is Spanish Flea, which has got to be one of the biggest easy listening records of all time. It is. You know when they do comedy hard cuts to quieter scenes in comedy movies or action films?

There's an explosion that cuts them in a lift a bit of time later. And it's always... It's that Muzak thing. Yeah, it's shorthand for Muzak, but it is an actual song. Yeah, so let's listen to this version of Spanish Flea. Thank you. I do like that though

It's pretty moogy isn't it Because that song is like really cheesy and silly and it kind of always brings a smile to your face and the moog kind of just brings out the silliness of it. That's what I mean. It's a marriage made in heaven, isn't it? It's easy listening with the moog. And it's a great love-making song.

You can have really quite passionate sex to that. Now, I think the most famous version of having passionate sex. That version of Spanish Flea. Why would that be good? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, she's gone. She's gone. She was never there.

She was never there. Yeah, but the most famous version of Spanish Flea is Herp Albert's. Herp Albert's. That's the one that... Why do I keep thinking Quincy Jones? It's not, though, is it? Quincy Jones didn't do a version of that. No, but Quincy Jones was on Herp Albert's label, A&M.

Oh, did he do The Elephant Walk? That's the Addams Family theme. No, the Monsters theme I was thinking then. I've got a scar scar that's good that's not quincy jones no alton ellis scar version of it okay but that's not what we're talking about talking about all those kind of songs isn't it like easy listening instrumental i think is the genre you'd say but the spanish flea is definitely one of the most recognizableisable ones. Mainly, like you say, because it's used as a shorthand for sort of music.

Okay. So this album here, is it one band doing all the tracks? It's all this guy. Oh, it's one guy. Sid Bass. Oh, okay. Sid Bass. It's conducted by Sid Bass. And is he Spanish?

No, he's not. And you know what? Where's Sid Bass from? Spanish Flea isn't Spanish. No, he's not. And do you know what? Where's Sid Bath from? Spanish Flea isn't Spanish. No, I know that. There are some actual Spanish tunes on it. Spanyi Cani, Playera,

Granada, Mantilla, Mama Ines, Baby, that's where we go. Malaguenia. Tiago. Malaguenia. Montego.

The Peanut Vendor. Oh. I wonder where he vends them from. Out of his meters. Well, every morning that man wakes up and loads his cup. Oh, me-os. Oh, here we go. Jesus God. Oh, I just have to

nudge this peanut out my meters down the urethra. Plop. Hello. There's a peanut for you. Well, we don't think you're quite right for the role, Mr. Silverman, but thank you for coming in. You know what? I like the idea of a man waking up every morning before he goes to work

and he takes a bowl of peanuts and, like filling a gun clip full of bullets, he just pops a peanut into his dick. He'd be dead. He'd have infections. Yeah. Oh, you know what it made me start thinking about? And then he fires them out like an elephant fires peanuts out. Do you know what this has made me think about?

Go on. That infected horse cock ball. It's like a waxy ball. Oh, your favourite memory. It's a waxy ball. Yeah. Moving on. Oh, we are moving on.

Okay, I would give that out of five a nice hearty 3.8. I'll go for a four there, yeah. Now, we covered in the first Moog episode, we covered Walter Carlos, Wendy Carlos. Yeah, so Walter Carlos originally, and then changed gender and became Wendy. But still dealt in the same music genre. Yes, continued as a musician.

So when you're looking for the artist then online, I presume it's all under the same music genre. Yes. Continued as a musician. So when you're looking for the artist then online, I presume it's all under the same title. It's... Yeah. Because what did you say we first listened to on Cheap Show of hers? From this, Walter Carlos by Request is the name of this LP.

Okay, so that's the name of the LP and that's where Delilah came from when we played it last on the show. All right. That What's New Pussycat, not Delilah. I'm looking at the back now. What's New Pussycat, that's right. Which is that deranged version of What's New Pussycat.

It does sound like a nightmare version of the track. Yeah, it's all sort of distorted and wonky. Yeah. I don't know. But this one is actually really nice and I think really fits the composition. It's a version of Eleanor Rigby. Oh, yeah, let's play a little bit of that

before the copyright bans this episode Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok It's a lovely version of it. It fits it, doesn't it? What I think I was going to say to you... Wendy Carlos' most famous stuff would probably be the soundtrack for... Is Wendy still alive? She's still making work?

I think she is, yeah. No, I think she died a few years ago. Oh, okay. I don't know. We should do a research on her. Yeah, let's have a look. Where's my phone? But she's most famous for the music from Kubrick's Clockwork Orange.

Oh, really? Yes. I thought that was like Vangelis or Tangerine Dream. No, it's her. Oh. I'm just looking up Wendy Carlos now so we can give you the accurate information only on Cheap Show. And by the way, Derek's dead, everyone. No, we know all that.

Did we know that? We've had a few complaints about the quality of that Derek story. And fair enough, it wasn't the greatest story. Well, it shows the story. Well, the audio. Like the listening to it. Come on. If someone's complaining about their story,

they don't know what they're in for, do they? No, true. But at this point, I think it was just the audio quality in general. And it's tricky. You know, we did our best. But we are going to do it one last episode with Derek. We're going to tie it all up.

We're going to get a biog. We're going to read that news article that was in that newspaper. It was amusing. It was amusing. So we're going to go through all that. We're going to tap our hat to Derek one last time. Tip our hat. Sometime before the

150th episode. You don't tap your hat. Shut up. Just shut up. Imagine you saw someone tapping their hat. You'd think they were nuts. Tap your hat. Tip your hat. You can do that. Just saying something over and over again doesn't make it a legitimate phrase. Wendy Carlos is still alive. Oh, sorry

Wendy. 79, lives in Portucket, Rhode Island. Okay. Came to prominence with Switched On Bach in 1968. Is that the one you've got there? No, this is Walter Carlos by request. Okay. But it does have Bach. Bach, Bacharach, The Beatles.

So it's a bit of everything. Yeah. Okay. Did the scores for Clockwork Orange and The Shining also Tron? I don't believe she did. The Tron soundtracks is fucking amazing. Did she scores for Clockwork Orange and The Shining also Tron? I don't believe she did. The Tron soundtracks is fucking amazing. Did she do The Shining?

I don't think she did. It says The Shining here. It says Wikipedia. Yeah. I don't think that's correct. Oh, look, what do you want me to say? Look up The Shining. Oh, yeah?

Oh, look up The Bloody Shining. Why would it lie to me? Music by Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elking. Okay. Anyhow. Anyhow, you know, a prolific career. I do think it kind of fits, Eleanor Rigby kind of fits with that. Yeah. That Moog style.

Do you know the story about that song? No. Paul McCartney said that he just thought of the name, but there's a graveyard near where he lived, grew up, and there's a gra oh yeah near where he lived grew up and there's a gravestone with Eleanor Rigby on it

yeah no no no because apparently he also is going past a shop because he knew it was going to be Eleanor but he didn't know

it was going to be yeah Rigby so it became but you know it might have been that he was watching Rising Damp that's called Rigby

isn't he in that yeah but the Eleanor bit you know Eleanor maybe like the haunting and that's called Eleanor. Talking of great singers. No, are we finished talking about Wendy Walter Carlos?

Yeah, that's it, yeah. Okay, great. That was good. I liked that one a lot. Because I think I said to you, weirdly, that track at points reminds me of The Exorcist. And it gives that song a kind of eerie tone. Well, it's quite a sort of melancholy song, isn't it? Because when you drop the strings and you add the Moog bit

to it, it sounds more like the exorcist. Do you know who that by? That is Mike Oldfield. Tubular Bells, isn't it? And that's all he's ever done. Tubular Bells 3, Tubular Bells 4, Tubular Bells 5, Tubular Bells 6, Tubular Bells 7, Tubular Bells 9, Tubular Bells 10, Tubular Bells 4, Tupelo Bells 5, Tupelo Bells 6, Tupelo Bells 7, Tupelo Bells 9, Tupelo Bells 10, Tupelo Bells 11.

Modulate. Good, I'll give that one a nice 4 out of 5. Okay, now here's Demi Roussos. Demi Roussos. Now, you were desperate to put this track into the episode. Demi Roussos. Semi Roussos. Demi Roussos. Now, you were desperate to put this track into the episode. Demi Roussos. Semi Roussos. Semi Roussos.

Semi saucy. Now, he's well known for wearing tents. Not Demi. And being on TV. He was in a band with Vangelis. Oh. Vangelis, one of the big names in keyboard synthesizer music. Literally and figuratively. And he was in a group called Aphrodite's Child with Vangelis, one of the big names in keyboard synthesizer music. Literally and figuratively.

And he was in a group called Aphrodite's Child with Vangelis, a Greek psych rock band. Yeah. Psychedelic rock. And then they worked together in the early 70s and they produced this album, Demi Rousseau's Magic. He looks like Matt Berry. Yeah, he does a lot.

You know what I mean? He does a lot. a lot and it has a delightful gatefold yeah illustration which is a please describe the gatefold because it reeks of ego what's that famous that famous it's the sistine chapel isn't it where michelangelo michael giving the knowledge fingertip thing the god giving yes the man half of that or the god half or something but it's got got Demis's beardy face. And he's got that real look like he's pushing out an uncomfortable poo-poo, doesn't he? Yeah.

Look at that look on his face. Wait, what's this? Demis. But he had some real cheesy hits in Britain in the 70s. Right. Because there was that whole thing um that whole sort of cultural phenomenon of women like being going on package holidays to greece and those type of places and being swept off their feet by the local lethargo do you know i mean he kind of represented that

right exotic sort of uh macho exotic like the kind of um what's that film uh a mediterranean lover you know yeah it's cheerleader valentine exactly that kind of thing yeah um it says here What's that film? A Mediterranean Lover. Shirley Valentine. Exactly. That kind of thing. It says here, his first UK single to chart was in 1975, Happy to Be on an Island in the Sun, written by Northern Irishman David Lewis, with a record reaching number five on the charts.

Pretty good. Weird. He was also on the Basil Bruss Show. He had a hit with a cover of Air Supplies Lost in Love as well in the 80s. But here's a story that fascinates me. In June 1985, Roussos was among the passengers of the TWA flight A47 from Athens to Rome, which was hijacked by members of Hezbollah and the Islamic Jihad. I did not know that.

But he was released along with four other Greeks after five days, while most of the other hostages remained there for 17. He spent his 39th birthday on the plane and when released unharmed, thanked his captors at a press conference for giving him a happy birthday cake. Weird. That is weird though. And also it's like, women and

children first. No, I am Denis Roussos and I must go and make the ladies have a good time with my music. My friend Virgil worked with him. Really? Yes. And did a little tour. Well, drummed in his band. It's like a session. Yeah.

He did a session and also toured live with him. Did he find music internally boring to do? Well, yeah, but this was like in the 2000s. Oh, okay. Demis Roussos passed like a few years ago now. But yeah, they did like French TV appearances and stuff. And he had a big stick and apparently was extremely eccentric, Demis Roussos. But this song, we haven't played the song yet, have we?

What's the song you want to try? This song has got some lovely keyboard, which is by Vangelis. Really? He's on this album? Yeah. Don't worry, mate. I'll fix you out. It's like when Ringo Starr appears on a Paul McCartney album.

You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Can I be on your. I'll fix you out. It's like when Ringo Starr appears on a Paul McCartney album. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Can I be on your album? There are two tracks. Go on, Paul. There are two tracks that are good, and they both have keyboarders. Well, what's this one we're going to play right now?

This is called I Dig You. I Dig You. Oh, I like the way you d-e-e-e Oh, I like the way that you die Oh, you turn me on Wendy Will you turn me on when you die? I'll take you I'll take you

I dig you Yeah, very moogie. It's a weird one, that. Because he goes, I dig you And then he says something about I like it when you die or something. Oh, I like the way

you do it. Oh, I like the way you die. So whatever he says. Oh, I like the way you do-ee. Oh, I like the way you die. So whatever he says. Oh, I like the way you goo-ee. Oh, I like the way you die. You don't look a bit like him. I do. You do.

You do a cover. I think I should. Eli Silverman is Demis Roussos. Oh, I like the wear your bowie. I hope they bring back stars in their eyes because I'm going to put you on it.

That would be great. Tonight, Matthew. Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be Demis Roussos and then not even go backstage, just carry on, just walk straight on

because you'll be fit to start. He used to, some of the stuff he used to wear in the 70s were like these sort of dresses, like these turd things,

like very bad. Wasn't that whole thing wasn't like Nana Muscori famous for big smocks and moomoos or whatever yeah yeah she was great as well because every time it goes and I like the way my brain goes and I like the way you got the motion and I love it I think it's really good I dig you you. Rock the boat, baby. Rock the boat, don't spare the boat. Nod, nod. That just made it sound like a Plotelli topic, then. Don't rub the man in the boat. Don't rub the man in the boat. What's that even mean?

It's clitoris. Is that what you call a clitoris? The man in the boat? Make it sound like some kind of great American novel. That's not what I call it. Oh, come on, come on. Let me rub the little man in the boat. That's it.

Yeah. No. That's a legitimate. I've never heard that. Well, you don't man in the boat. That's it. Yeah. No. That's a legitimate slang term. I've never heard that. Well, you don't know how to find a lady's clitoris, obviously. You have to look for the man in the boat. I don't. I would certainly not.

Look for the little man in the boat. I would certainly not say to a lady, I'll be intimate. I certainly wouldn't want to say to a lady when I'm intimate. Oh, where's your little man in the boat? Get your man in the boat out. Come on, love Oh, where's your little man in the boat? Get your man in the boat out. Come on, love, can I see your little man in the boat?

Yeah. Swap out the man in the boat. You can't swap out anything on a lady. You could. If you had a big thwopper. Right, well, we're moving on.

A big thwop button. What else have we got? Red hot button. What else have we got? Okay, so that's that. You didn't like that very much, did you? No, I'll give that two. Why don't you like it? It's not catchy.

A bit of a strange one now, Paul. Oh! This is a Dutch record I picked up. Yes! Oh no. I love it. The Dutch, they are my favourite people. Yes. They are my favourite people. Let's go on. This is Cliff Richard playing Wide for Sound. Right.

Okay, so. Yeah. This is Cliff Richard playing Wide for Shound. Right. Okay, so. Yeah. This is Oscar Harris and the Twinkle Stars. What can you tell us about that? I got it in the same shop that I bought Muga Spania. Yeah. It was that big hall where he asked me to go downstairs and look at the records. Oh, in the charity shop with the downstairs basement.

Yeah, yeah. With a box at the very far end with just a lamp pitched carefully over the top of it, shining a weak yellow beacon of light upon a box of mysterious vinyl. And I found it in there. Yeah, it's very peculiar. Let's have a little bit of it now. This is Mr. Astronaut.

Ten, nine, ready, eight, take off. Seven, take to the moon. Five, we're leaving in four seconds, three, two, one. Mr. Mr. Astronaut, have you seen my baby on the moon? She's good looking, yes she's fine, she's the girl that works in a salon Oh, Mr. Mr. Astronaut, have you seen my baby on the moon? She's good looking, yes, she's fine. She's the girl that works in a salon. She's my baby.

She's my girl. She's my girl. So utilises the keyboard. It was often because of its exotic sound. Yeah. It's extraterrestrial sound. It was always used for extraterrestrial things, wasn't it? But the problem is, is that this song, I said this to you before, this sounds like a song that originally was just a regular kind of kinksy song because

it has got a bit of kinks to it that the producer came in oh no space stuff's popular now so how about we put this weird pointless kind of wibbly wobbly i like it at the beginning and then at the middle for no reason and at the end yeah and then they go he's mr astronaut he's saying to mr astronaut so the lyrics yeah please tell them the lyrics. He says, Mr. Mr. Astronaut, have you seen my baby on the moon? She's so good looking. She's so fine. She's the girl that works in a saloon.

In a saloon? In a saloon. In a saloon, because that rhymes with moon. That's it. I can't think of any other way. And she's their baby. I like it. The way he goes,

Uka-cha-pa. It's got some great Uka-cha-pas in it. It just feels like, again, that was like a song where it's like, oh, Mr. Policeman, have you seen my girl in the saloon? She's hot. And she makes me feel over the moon.

And the producer went, nah, it's an astronaut now. No, he didn't. It's an astronaut now. David Bowie's singing about astronauts. You sing about astronauts. This came out way after that. I know. Let's see what year about astronauts. You sing about astronauts. This came out way after that. I know.

Let's see what year this was. What was Space Oddity? 69. Right. And Life on Mars? 73. All right. So this probably came around the same time as Life on Mars then.

Oh, God. He's fishing in his nest. This is on an interesting label. Blue Elephant. Oh, we've talked about Blue Elephant briefly in the past, haven't we? Have we? I think so. No, I've never had any other record on Blue Elephant. Oh, we've talked about Blue Elephant briefly in the past, haven't we? Have we? I think so. No, I've never had

any other record on Blue Elephant. No year on that. Great. Hmm. No. What do you mean, no? There's no year on it.

Oh, God. Look at this cover. There's a Dutch cover for Cooling the Gang on the back. Oh, God, that's crazy. There's a guy and he's got a woman

hanging off each arm and he's got some speedo. Yeah, he's got tighty pants on. I want to look. So they were what? A Dutch kind of soul band? Yeah, Dutch. Yeah. Pop soul, I'd call it.

Mainly. That's what mainly the album is. But that's just sort of a weird obscurity. I like this one. La Sonora Panamaria con Lord Bamboo. Lord Bamboo. I like Lord Bamboo. Cooling the gang. And there's a lady's boob on that one. La Sonora Panamaria con Lord Bamboo. Lord Bamboo. I like Lord Bamboo. Cooling the gang. And there's a lady's boob on that one. Hard Hands

with the song's love beads. Really? Yeah, that's what it's called. Oh, blimey. There's lots of ladies of colour naked with the puppies out. You could put anything on the cover those days, couldn't you? Well, if you were in Holland, you could. You'd have a big gash right on the front of your album cover. No, you couldn't have well if you were in Holland you'd have a big gash

right on the front of your album cover no you couldn't have a gash I'm saying it's a kids alphabet learning song no you couldn't you could so I like that actually

a lot I like that a lot actually it uses the sounds nicely but I feel it's just a little bit uneven I'm a little bit uneven okay now moving on Paul

yeah is this the final part of this section no oh shit I forgot how many we're doing this is the last I'm a little bit uneven. Okay. Now, moving on, Paul. Yeah, is this the final part of this section? No. Oh, shit. I forgot how many we're doing. Is this the last Moog one we're doing? No.

All right, go on then. John Keating from an LP I picked up. Yeah. In the same hall. It was a real cornucopia of synth crap. Space Experience is the name of this LP. John Keating, a bit like... Ronan Keating. No, not in any way like Ronan Keating.

It's all life is a roller coaster, just got around... John Keating was a composer, composed for TV. Oh, yeah. Utilised synths a lot. He did. And on this album, there's sort of spacey versions of hits, like it starts with a version of I Feel the Earth Move. I feel the earth

move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down tumbling down. It's got that and it's also got Rocketman, a version of Rocketman. I think it's gonna be a long, long time. And a version of the Star Trek theme. Star Trek! Which one?

The original, do you think? It's that. Yeah. It's that one. Yeah, good. It's good. But we're going to feel... Listen to...

Yeah, what are we going to feel? We're not going to feel anything. I want to feel something. Come on, mate. Shall I get my man in the boat out? Get your little man in the dinghy out. I'll get the dinghy out. Get your bald dinghy.

I'll get my taco worm out. Oh. I'll get my taco worm out. Get your little mumbly maggot out. I'll get my mumblecore maggot out. So, in between the cover versions on this, he has his own compositions, which for me are much more interesting.

Yeah. And are really good. And this is one of those, and it's called The Unknown Planet. Let's have a little bit of that. Is this the one that we thought sounded like a TV theme? That's right. Yeah, John Keating. I reckon, because the thing is, before we play it,

when I heard this, I was like, how is this not a TV theme to something like Sapphire and Steel or Randall and the Hot Kirk Deceased? It's a great combo of sort of 70s cop show theme, a bit of wah-wah guitar in it, and funky drums, but it also has sort of out-of-space mood stuff. It tells for the unexpected

or Twilight Zone-y kind of thing there as well. It's good. Let's listen to it. 🎵 Thank you. so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so If we ever do a show where I'm a ghost detective and you're an alien and we team up in the 70s to catch crims. We should license that. This is it. And we need to call it Alien in the Spook.

Alien in the Spook. Mr. Alien in the Spook. Yeah. Because you've got to get it missed because it's the 70s and it makes it sound all kind of classy. Who's the spook? Am I the spook? What do you want to be? We'll cast it now. Come on. We've got to think it through. Okay. I'm the makes it sound all kind of classy. Who's the spook? Am I the spook? What do you want to be?

We'll cast it now. Come on. We've got to think it through. Okay. I'm the spook. All right. So you're the dead detective. Yeah.

And I'm the alien detective. I'll do some lines for the dead detective. All right. Let's do a scene, right? Okay. We found the dead body in a manor. It's the 70s, so it's all kitsch, right? I'm Mr. Alien, the policeman, and you're my dead ghost detective partner.

The spook. All right. All right? Yeah. Scene, we enter the room. I'm finding the character. I'm finding the character. Work it.

I'm finding the character. All right, here we go. Finding the character. I'm finding the character. Work it. I'm finding the character. Here we go. Find the character. It's too late. Oh, no. He's dead. The professor is dead. Yeah, so am I.

So I can't say anything. I'm just dead. No, you can be talking. How can I talk if I'm dead, Paul? I see you as a ghost. I'm't say anything. I'm just dead. No, you can be talking. How can I talk if I'm dead, Paul? I see you as a ghost. I'm not feeling this. I'm a ghost, am I? Yes. You didn't make that clear.

I thought it was implicit. All right. You're a ghost and only I can see you because I've got alien technology. What do you make of the scene? The spook? That's all I've got. That's all I've got, Paul. of the scene. The spook? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. That's all I've got. That's all I've got.

All you've got is Frank Spencer. Oh, perhaps he's a happy ghost. Ooh. Ooh. At least talk. Just don't say... Oh, I can't. Just do that voice. What do you make of the crime scene, Spook?

Oh, well, there's blood splatters which went this way, which means the gun was pointing from here. And so I think it was you. You know too much and yet not enough. Not enough Mate, this is not working Mate, this is just spitballing plots You've just accused me of murder, your partner Do you know what? I don't know if I can do this podcast anymore, Paul

Why? Step outside the podcast, come on What's wrong mate I look inside myself For inspiration Yeah And I try and draw something Out

And I've The well is dry Paul There's There's always water in the well There's a huge emptiness In my very Mate to be fair Way back in episode one and two

The well was dry It really was Yeah So you know Either roll with the punches And come back into the podcast Huge emptiness in my very... Mate, to be fair, way back in episode one and two, the well was dry. It really was. Yeah. So, you know, either roll with the punches and come back into the podcast. Paul, how on message for House of Pickles is this object I'm showing you now? It's called Mrs. Renfro's Gourmet Salsa Texas USA Jalapeno. Wait, I haven't read the front. Green salsa, hot, 454 grams.

Look at that. It looks like what came out of your ass it's been sitting in here for about a week oh fucking hell also no we're not doing a source report no it's just an impromptu source source mention uh look at that as well horse radish i've had some horse radish great and that's in here and that's funky. And yet you complain when I spray Febreze. Oh, look. Mike and Ike Sowers. Right. Stop showing me your trash.

Right. So that's John Keating. I liked it. That's my favourite so far because I fucking love it. It's got a kick-ass kind of cop detective thing. Excellent stuff. And he had a few LPs out on a similar theme, but that's the best one alright good so

is that all now for this section section segment can we also are you talking to the mic as well can we also I'm talking into the mic mate

just four years just can we also what can we also do BT and TB no

I wanted to do Tompy oh yeah Tompy well we can do Tumpy later. Is that it, then? Yeah. Right, great. That's part one.

Join us after the break for more Cheap Show Platters. Uh-huh. Right on. Haytel presents Right On, a super new album. 20 original hits, original stars. Big Lizzy. The boys are back in town. The boys are back in town.

Firefong. You are the woman that I, Firefog, Blue Rose, The Manhattan, Rick, also includes Nadia Steele, Sensational E.L.O., Elton John, Bay City Rollers, Eric Thurman, Diana Ross and Heart. Try, try, try to understand. I'm a magic man. Common Oil. Just to be close to you. Miracle. I'm just a love machine. 20 original hits, original stars.

Kate Hales. Right on. $5.99. Kate, $7.99. I'm just a love machine. And welcome back to Cheap Show. That's fucking hell! Ha! Phew!

Also... No. No! You don't just sneeze violently towards me and then go, also, and then carry on with your fucking source report. It's all I have. I can reference sources.

I reference source. This is all you are now, a source man. I am. I just reference sources. Talk into the mic. Seriously, sit behind it. I'm losing it. You're not.

You're just being a shit. I'm sweaty. I'm sweaty, too. It's really hot in here, and we can't open the door because downstairs is Playing music really loud While the builders Fix that flat

So we're stuck Aren't we This is XO sauce I don't care Brackets Anchovy I don't care About sauce

You filled this episode With unnecessary amounts Of sauce And previous episodes Calm down With the sauces please I will I'll fill

Calm down I'll fill your pot I will fill your pot Don't make rude jokes About filling me with down I'll fill your pot I will fill your pot with sauce don't make rude jokes about filling me with things I will fill your pot with up with sauce

I will fill your pot with exo sauce do da do da I'll fill your pot with exo sauce do da do da do da da dee day

do dee da day fill your pot with calm off sauce do da do da right okay so just skip to the bit we're inferring.

I'm spanking in your gob. I'm spanking in your gob. I'm spanking in your gob so hard I've spanked into your gob. You should be ashamed of yourself. You should be absolutely ashamed. I've spanked all up your wall. And yet he continues, ladies and gentlemen. And yet he continues. I've spanked up all your wall. Well yet he continues, ladies and gentlemen. And yet he continues.

I've spanked up all your wall. Well, come on. Get on with the show, mate. I would, but every time I talk, you shout out a song to do with ejaculation. Also this, look. Stop showing me sauces. This isn't a sauce.

This is. So that was just show and tell. The original cannabis iced tea. Right. Swiss. So it just... Cannabis in it. Yeah?

Yeah. Enough. What are we doing now? We are doing the next part of the show, which is about... Well, the theme is in this section, is it like radio DJs in the UK seem to think, and maybe it's the same in other countries

american maybe i just don't know seem to think they're multi-talented and i would say a lot of radio presenters aren't well i think it's a thing where they they uh they work in the music industry don't they and they're around records all the time so they sort of feel like they well look a lot of them are just frustrated musicians in a way, aren't they? Or frustrated something else. It's like, remember when we read that Top of the Pops annual and it had that interview with Dave Lee Travis and he was saying, I'm a wacky guy and I did a journey comedy show.

And what I really want is a Saturday night TV show where I can be funny and show everyone my skills and my talents and how great I am. He was very full of himself. And it never happened. But Noel Edmonds got that exact career he wanted. Yeah. And you know, for the slight we give Noel Edmonds for his obviously

Cthulhu-style evil ways, he's certainly successful at what he's done. Despite his numerous failures and blood on hands. He's too big to fail. Yeah, he is too big to fail. He can't fail. But Dave Lee Travis was just, I don't know, I think his problem was he was so up himself.

I don't think he saw the woods from the trees. Did he have a pop record out? I think he did. I don't know. I think he did. But that's the theme of this segment of the Splatter Special, is it? Yeah. DJs who release musical songs.

Now, we have covered, I think, in the past, Kenny Everett. Yes. And that kind of counts, but it seems more satirical with Tongue in Cheek, who gives a fuck kind of thing. The Snub Rap and Captain Kremen. Yeah. And then we've done Steve Wright. Steve Wright had several.

Who I would still say, even though he has an ear for parody, he's also got a brain of shit. Yeah. In terms of, it's just crap. I don't know what to say. It's just crap and cheesy and awkward to listen to. Yeah, awful.

And insincere. And sometimes unnecessarily sarcastic. Well, we covered that one, didn't we? That was the pub singer. He was behind that, wasn't he? He's behind a lot of this. And the other one, Mr. Angry.

Mr. Angry. Which was a character from his radio show. He used to call up and just be angry, didn't he? Yeah, let's do one of those classic Steve Wright routines right now. Okay. You be Mr. Angry. Okay. And I'll be Steve Wright.

All right. That was Aha with The Sun Always Shines. I'm not doing the voice. I'm just going to do an accent. With The Sun Always Shines on TV. Oh, the phone's ringing, ladies and gentlemen. Hang on. Let me just pick it up.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Is that Mr. Angry? Oh, I'm so angry! Oh, Mr.'s ringing, ladies and gentlemen. Hang on, let me just pick it up. Hello? Hello? Hello, is that Mr. Angry? Oh, I'm so angry! Oh, Mr. Angry. Shut up! What are you angry about today?

I've got a fucking fox stuck in my arse! Oh, Mr. Angry, you're so funny. It's all hairy and ginger sticking out the tail! Oh, Mr. Cot. Oh, well, Mr. Angry, what would you like to listen to on the radio? I'd like, I'd like ABBA! Great. Oh, I, Mr. Angry, what would you like to listen to on the radio? I'd like ABBA. Great. Oh, I'm so angry.

Right, bye. Shut up. Now it's time for ABBA. There you go. That was basically a segment of Steve Wright in the afternoon on Radio 1. That's what they did. Moving on from him. He's still going.

He is. So what have we got today? Another DJ trying to be a musician or we got we got three right uh final in this section we're going to start off with one i need to be careful about because i'm basically mates with him but um pat sharp was a is a was a in the 90s and 80s, a very big radio presenter. He had award-winning shows and did very well for himself. Did kids TV.

Did kids TV, famously Funhouse. And what was that Saturday morning one he did? What's Up Doc? Was that it? Oh, I know. Anyway, so mostly, though, Pat Sharp was known for his mullet. It was a very striking mullet. It was a very striking mullet. It was a combination spiky front.

Spiky front, long back. It was textbook mullet. It was the quintessential 80s DJ mullet. Unfortunately, it kind of became bigger than his career. Yeah. When you're living down your haircut most of your life. It's terrible, isn't it? Poor bugger.

Oh, Pat. When I worked with him on those radio shows, he would still get people calling in asking about the hair. And you think, fucking let it go. My sister famously saw him on the street

and attacked him and tried to touch his hair. Really? She was just walking down the street and she went, Ah, Pat Shaw! And then she tried to grab his hair. Sorry about that.

Did he deck her? No. What? He was like, did he run? I would have run. I think he kind of ran. Yeah, God. Grab his hair. Sorry about that. Did he deck out? No. What? He was like, did he run? I would have run. I think he kind of ran. Yeah, probably. He's got a screaming arpy coming at you with his hands out, clawing at your lovely mane.

But, yes, he had some records out, didn't he, with his friend Mick? Yeah, you know what? I feel bad, but I don't know what happened to Mick. I'm going to look it up right now. what i feel bad but i don't know what happened to mick i'm gonna look it up right now because pat sharp you know has bopped in and out the radio industry and he still does his uh live dj mixes on retro comedy nights uh retro festivals you know like let's rock the 80s he'll still introduce bands and play stuff like that donovan yeah sunita tapow sunita still going probably sonia tapow i've got a friend who played bass with Tapao.

This podcast isn't working. Shut up! I'm sweaty. I'm sweaty. My balls have got a little puddle right in the bass. Pat and Mick were a British vocal duo consisting of popular radio presenters Pat Sharp and Mick Brown. Now, here's how you know how someone's career gone. When you see Pat Sharp and it's a hyperlink to another page and you see Mick Brown and

there's nothing. It's just a sentence for him. There's no link to his career. Was he a DJ as well, though? I thought he was. I thought he was. I thought he was a DJ around the same time. Perhaps he was just Pat's mate, Mick.

Maybe. Anyway, they're both from London. They released a charity single, a cover version, each year from 88 to 93, achieving a top 10 hit with their 89th single, I Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet. And that's one of the two songs we've got here. Let's have a bit of that.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Pat and Mick with their cover of, is it Gloria Jones? Yeah, it's a Gloria Jones song. I Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet. I Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet I Haven't stopped dancing yet I haven't stopped dancing yet Since we met on our first date I haven't stopped loving you yet

It's alright, alright, alright, alright Ooh, well you see You're all I ever wanted in a girl My sweet beat can't stop the beat Oh, it's alright, alright Can we dance some more tonight? I haven't stopped dancing yet Since we met on our first date

I haven't stopped loving you less It's alright, alright, alright, alright. I mean, and look, it's a Stock Aiken and Waterman song, so. It's so, it is the like, atypical. That sound, that Stock Aiken and Waterman production sound is. With the, yes. It's a weird mix, isn't it? When you think about it, it's like, it's obviously famously got a bit of the classical.

It's got a little bit of the kind of piano, canister you know in a kind of with a weird piano yeah a very defining aspect is the uh keyboard bass line yeah that the that is really the same samples yes so this was to be fair to be fair again these were never released as vanity projects as the winds were going to go into next these were released as charity charity it's for charity they were for a charity called help a london child so i remember help a london child yeah because eve they would was pat short working for capital at the time which is a london based yeah so that would have made sense that he released a song just to raise some money get into the top 10 you probably would raise quite a bit back in the 80s um the royalties from their record sales are donated to Capital FM's

There We Go, Help a London Child charity, and the singles were all produced by Stock, Aiken and Waterman, except Shake Your Groove Thing and Hot Hot Hot, both of which were produced by Stock and Waterman.

No Aiken. Oh, what was Aiken doing? He was Aiken. My Dick B. Aiken. It's Dick B. Aiken. My sister met someone called that. Dick B. Aiken.

He said, I'm Richard B. Aiken. She sister met someone called that. Dick B. Aiken. He said, I'm Richard B. Aiken. She was on a cruise. Yeah, this is not a real name. No, it's real. You got gained. He was like, I'm Richard B. Aiken. No, it's not real. I'm Dick B. Aiken. That was a chat up line designed to get your sister into bed. My Dick B. Aiken. Why?

Because she wants to put I don't know why I'm going with this. In 1993, they released their only album, Don't Stop Dancing, which compiled all their singles and b-sides on a continuous mix. Oh, my word. In 2010, Pat and Mick appeared on the Identity Parade round

of Nevermind the Buzzcocks. However, Phil Jupiter's team were only asked to identify Mick. In 2011, iTunes re-released I Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet. There you go. And in November 2011, iTunes re-released I Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet. There you go. And in November 2011, Brown started hosting The Drive Time and Saturday Breakfast Radio Show. Oh, there you go.

On 107.8 Radio Jackie. So he's a DJ. He's a DJ. And as I say, these aren't the greatest songs ever. Well, Paul, I'd go further than that. I'd go further than that. I'd say they're some of the worst songs ever. Don't hate me, Pat.

It's just my job. I've got to be honest, Pat. They're very poor. Their singing's awful. And is that... I Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet was the first one, was it? No. Well, here's the thing.

This 12-inch I've got here is next to the album I'm holding. That was good, wasn't it? Yeah. That was a good one. That was good wasn't it yeah that was a good one that was good thank you the first one this one i've got here is called let's all chant yes but it's there's no vocals in it apart from a couple of those kind of that's the chant yeah let's all chant that's how it goes is it really is it a cover i think again it's like it was an american disco record zega fields yeah all boys music limited, I think it was

originally like a disco tune. Because I'm sure that bit where it goes my body, your body, everybody, move that body. Yeah, that was from the original. I'm pretty sure. I thought that was

a Sunita song though. Perhaps it is. It's all a strange mix, isn't it? Well, that's the problem with Stock Aiken and Waterman. It's like a Frankenstein's music industry. Yeah.

And yet it's very, very, certainly in the UK, it is like a Frankenstein's music industry yeah and yet it's very very certainly in the UK it is a very particular type of music yes because you know exactly where you were

in 88, 89, 90 when those songs were huge it was awful it was Kylie it was Jason Donovan yeah Rick Astley

Sonia Sunita Sunita Mel and Kim Mel and Kim were probably the best they were because they had something

they were sassy so that are we going to get to that Let's All Chant is the other record shall we play a bit of that let's play a little bit of that

but there's no I don't know there's no real point because again it's just a I'll play a bit Let's all chant Your body, my body, everybody move your body Your body, my body, everybody work your body

Your body, my body, everybody move your body Your body, my body, everybody work your body There you go. But this is the thing. Okay, so now that is from loads of different records. Oh, yeah. I know a very good example There you go. But this is the thing, okay? Now that... It's from loads of different records. Oh, yeah. I know a very good example is... In fact, the Wilhelm scream of music.

Groove Line by... What? You just sung that out. I've never seen that before, where your eyes went emotionlessly vacant. What are they called? Eyes. Heat.

Heat. Rod Temperton was his name. He wrote for Michael Jackson. Right. And he was in a group called... Old Man Eli, he's lost his faculties I must shit every time I vom I must shit

every time I vom here it comes again is it vom, is it shit is it both, it's both I hope this audio is brought up

at your funeral and so when you know when they have memories of you they'll play classic clips like that here's a little bit of him on his podcast

and then it cuts to you going licky licky fanny fanny that was good I wish I had a moment of inspiration like that now. Whoa. We're having a nice chat about music today. It's different, isn't it?

Okay, so. A whistle-stop tour. I will remember what that group was called. They had some hits. Heat. But anyway, that was a motif. That sort of chant motif was in a lot of disco records around the time. Yeah.

Groove Line by... Hot Biscuits. Give me your phone. Larry Flaps. What's the name of the song? Just put Rod Temperton in. Rod Temperton, songwriter. Yes. What was the name of the group? Heat Wave. Thank you. Fuck meton, songwriter. Yes.

What was the name of the group? Heatwave. Thank you. Fuck me, I could not remember that. His hit songs include Boogie Nights and Always and Forever. Born in Cleethorpes? Yeah. Oh, bugger me.

Heatwave. Yeah. And they had an album called Central Heating. After being recruited by producer Quincy Jones, he wrote several internationally known songs performed by Michael Jackson including Thriller,

Off the Wall, Rock With You. Yeah, there you go. He also wrote George Benson's hits Give Me the Night, Love X Love and Patty Austin's

Good songwriter, isn't he? Again, he died a couple of years back. But that, I think, Groove Line by Heat Wave has, what I would say is that motif. Okay. And it's in a lot of disco

records from around that time the slightly kind of um what do i call it latin flavor disco is uh is one of the major influences or form foundational genres was latin yeah on on disco uh but yeah and it's a sing-along thing, isn't it? Yeah, it's fine. Everyone goes... So ultimately, it's like, they're not great songs, but they're raising money for charity, and actually, compared to what they were putting out with other artists, it's kind of in line with it. Yeah, it is.

A bit generic and a bit all-in. But they didn't become pop stars, did they? However, radio presenters who did do a vanity project... Now, we mentioned them a few episodes ago with Stuart, didn't we? Yes. Where we talked about Mike Reid, a radio presenter who was a bit conservative in more ways than one.

Yes. And was well-known recently for two reasons. One, I say recently, but he wrote a song called Ukip Calypso. Yes. Talking about the benefit to the Ukip party. Yeah. Just a rule of thumb. If you're a white,

British, light entertainer, never do a song in a Calypso style. No. It's just a bad idea. Max Bygraves did it. Yeah, it's just not good.

You know, fucking Moe Sabat did it. And he did it. And Michael Barrymore did it. Not only could you accuse him of sort of being slightly insensitive, bordering on racist

with the sort of accent that he did the song in. Yeah. You could also say it was like a UKIP supporting song and like, so it's sort of... I know,

it's just why? Who's going to buy that? Anyway, he's done other songs. Well, before we get to that, the other thing he was reasonably famous for

was when Chevy Chase came to the UK a year or so ago. Oh, that was funny. And for some reason they hired Mike Reed to interview Chevy Chase. And apparently it was funny. And for some reason, they hired Mike Reed to... Interview Jamie Chase.

And apparently, it was an absolute shit show with the audience turning verbally loudly in the auditorium on to Mike Reed. Really? Yeah. Like saying,

you wanker and bollocks and blah, blah, blah. How could it go that wrong? And apparently, at one point, to stop because he didn't know what else to do, he got his guitar out

and started playing. Oh, wow. And I think, I think, Chevy Chase walks off at the end and again chevy chase got his reputation but apparently he held his shit together quite well right got on the audience's side took the piss out of mike reed as well and then and i think i think he stayed around and did as much as he could before going this is over now they've gotten their money's worth and uh we will not be talking in the green room after.

No, that's weird. But there's some articles online if you go hunting for it of people who went to see that show and go into a lot of detail about how much of a shit that show it was. So he just didn't do

a very good job. Is that what it was? No. Right. No. So let's go back to... Oh, when did this come out? 84?

84. No. Oh, yeah, it's 84. Yeah. Let's go back to 1984 when Mike Reed, being a very popular Radio 1 disc jockey at the time, decided, hey. I'll have a pop record.

I'll have a pop record. So he released this track called, and I found this in a charity the other day, Tell Me I'm Wrong. It goes a little something like this. I heard it through the grapevine That you were playing too tight I said I don't believe it But they just wouldn't leave it

And when they said the name I said you wouldn't play that game Oh, I said I don't believe it's true Now, honey, I believe I do Tell me I'm wrong Tell me I'm wrong Tell me I'm wrong Tell me I'm wrong You tell me there's nothing from the stories I hear

Tell me you love me and there's nothing to fear Lie to me, baby Say what you like Say anything But don't say goodbye Please tell me I'm wrong Baby, you don't know what it's like Tell me I'm wrong

I don't wanna be right Tell me I'm wrong Now, it is fucking awful. Oh, so bad. It's awful in the way that he wears his influences on his sleeve and then also shows that he hasn't learned the lessons from his influences. He can't do it. There's a little bit of Cliff Richard in there.

For sure. And there's a little bit of ELO. Jeff Lynn, is it? Yeah, ELO. And they're just mashed together. And it is boring. Very boring. And he sings in a very flat way. Yeah.

Terrible voice. Tell me I'm wrong. Well, you're wrong. You know what, Mike? Knock, knock. Who's there? You're wrong. Mike Reed, you're wrong.

Hello, Mike. Hello. Mike. What's Mike Reed doing these days, other than upsetting Hollywood stars? He's also got a mallet. Yeah, and he's got a softer mullet. He's got a very soft-look mallet. Michael David Kenneth Reid, born 1947, is an English radio DJ, writer, journalist, and television presenter.

Great. Oh, yeah, in the 80s, remember he had the pop quiz? Yeah, that was his big thing. Mike Reid's pop quiz. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Mike Reed had a stalker who had changed her name to Blue Tulip Rose Reed

and believed that she was married to him. Weird. Rose was from Welling Garden City and her original name was Carol Ballard. Rose was featured in a film made by Jane Green for Channel 4 in 96 called I'm Your Number One Fan. The film performed part of Channel 4's Fame Factor season, which examined the dark side of fame.

Rose was one of the most candid interviewees in the film. She was filmed as she travelled to the offices of Classic FM and as she wrote love letters to read. The film stated that Rose had been writing obscene and threatening letters to read for many years.

And then the next bit is politics, where it talks about UK Calypso and being a big friend of Nigel Farage. He's actually mates with Nigel. Yeah. Debate over the song featured on Newsnight with UKIP spokesman Winston McKenzie, himself of Caribbean origin, praised the song

and likened it to Elvis Presley and the Beatles' adaptions of predominantly black musical styles. Oh, come on. Jesus Christ. Taxpayers' money, where does it go? Not even George Osborne knows. When we're in power and we engage, there'd be no tax on the minimum wage.

Leaders committed a cardinal sin. Open the borders, let them all come in. Illegal immigrants in every town. Stand up and be counted Blair and Brown. Oh yes, when we take charge and the new prime minister is Farage, we can't trade with the world again when on the 22nd of October. Because it was. 2014.

And apologised unreservedly that it had caused unintentional offence. It reached 44 in the UK charts. Nah, that's nothing these days, isn't it? You could be number one these days and still have to go deliver the milk. Wank off fucking sailors. Is that just me? That's just you. Oh, I like it, though.

They're very friendly and they have lots of stories to tell Uncle Paul. Okay, so what, you're a sailor wanker offer? I'm a sailor wanker offer. That's my name. I'm a sailor wanker offer and that's my game. Dum-di-ga-dum-di-ga-dum-dum-dum-dum-ba-dum-di-ga-dum-ding-ba-ding. game oh I toss up in the morning and I toss up in the night and I toss up when I feel all right and I toss up when it's good and I toss up when I'm bad and I toss up when I feel inside oh I'm a sailor tosser offer and that's my game I'm a sailor tosser

offer and that's my name if you want to get tossed off by me and you're part of the navy ranks then i'll come round to your big big mound and then i'll give it wanks come on you know the words oh look a boat's coming i hope the sailor's coming off, look, a boat's coming. I hope a sailor's coming off it. Oh, look, a boat's coming. And yet that was still better than Mike Reed's Tell Me I'm Wrong. Right, last one of this segment. Right?

This is my favourite one, maybe. Oh, so bad. Because this is so sad. This has to be one of the worst records of all time. This might be one of the worst songs we've actually had on Cheap Show. And it has been donated to us by Stuart Ashen. Yes. So, thank you.

Thank you, I suppose. I suppose. So, in the UK, there's a kids' TV show, educational, called Blue Peter. It's been running forever. It's still going, I think, strong on... I don't think it's going anymore. No, I think it is on, like, CBB it's going anymore. No, I think it is on like CBB's Sky channel.

Okay, but they moved it off. There was a bit of a furore because they moved it from network TV onto a children's channel. Yeah. But that's the way TV is now. There's no children's programming

allocated at the day. There isn't because they've got their own channels. Yeah, which is fair enough. I guess. Times they are a-changing. Anyway, in the 80s... Times they are a-changing. Anyway, in the 80s...

Times they are a-changing. In the 80s... Times... Fuck it all. They are a-changing. Okay. All right. Okay, so in the 80s, one of the stars of Blue Peter was a man called Simon Groom.

Oh, it's him. Oh, it's him. Yes, it's him. I didn't realise. I've just realised now with the funny bowl haircut. Blonde bowl. Yeah. Tall guy with his funny... Yeah.

Oh, it's him. I didn't realise. Yes, that's Simon Groom. So he'd been on the show for a couple of years and, you know, he'd done it all. He wasn't a bad TV presenter. He was alright. For the job. He was alright.

He got to, you know, do all the assault course stuff. Do you remember that whole thing where they had a garden and then it got vandalised? Yeah.

And they buried their dogs in there as well. They buried all the Blue Peter animals there. In the garden, in the Blue Peter garden. And then someone came in one day and

desecrated the dog's corpse. They dug up all the corpses and trashed stuff and yeah. Evil. It was a dark time. I bet it was do you know who I think it was

what Bungle you think Bungle from Rainbow Bungle from Rainbow did it broke into BBC Television Centre he fucking did man and fucking was like

meanwhile Zippy's on the roof going come on come on quickly I've got five minutes come on Bungle yeah oh I'm just going to piss on Goldie

yeah so Blue Peter I always it and it was a very middle-class british ultimately harmless show sticky back plastic wasn't it sticky back tape make a dolly out of yarn and a washing up bowl now we've got an upcoming thing which we might be doing based on a recurring model that they used to build on Blue Peter. Tell us all about that, Paul. No, because that's going to be something I do with Stuart, not you.

Oh. Anyway, Simon Grew was on the show. I like doing stuff. I can do things. We can't do everything together, otherwise I get all bit ant and deck.

Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. You need your own personal I didn't get to be in Clankerman or Polybius Heist, did I? Did I? You could have been in Polybius Heist did I did I you could have been

in Polybius Heist if you hadn't been such a prima donna bitch excuse me no how dare you throwing your dummy out of the pram

all I said was because we weren't doing a double act and you had been given a bigger role I didn't feel comfortable in my acting ability to do it on my own

so I backed out and they gave it to Ash to do instead. And someone saw the dailies and went, Oh, hasn't Paul gotten fat? Anyway, that's what you get. So Simon Gould, he was that guy on Blue Peter, and he released a record, Paul. Well, no, not quite.

He was on the show for a few years, left. And then when he realised, I shouldn't have quit that job because no one's given me anything else to do, he thought he'd release a Vanity Project single. And this is it. It's Simon Groom singing Can't Help Falling In Love, made famous by... Elvis Presley. And it sounds like this.

I can't help falling in love with you Get up, get up, get up on it Get up on it and go Get out ballin' Get out ballin' Wise men say Only fools rush in But I can't help but live in love with you. That's the worst fucking thing in the world. No point did anyone say, Simon, you can't sing. What?

You can't. But you know the reason why no one said that? He funded it. Because it says, 1992 copyright sound recording by Simon Groom, 92 copyright Simon Groom. Simon Groom... Self-financed it.

Probably. He must have had a few quid knocking around. Well, this doesn't look like an official release, does it, too much? It looks like it's been made... I don't know. It's got a printed picture cover. Some terrible artwork.

But it's not like... Look at the artwork. It's so generic and sort of... It's very much late 80s waiting room sort of athena yes it's like it's just a sort of graphic design of uh some palm trees and a sort of graphic island because there's a kind of is it a reggae version of can't help falling in love it's not really reg. It's not really reggae. It's not really reggae. But it's got that UB40 feel to it. Okay, now, you know what I mean? This record has

a gold sticker on it. Yeah. Which usually denotes that these, when a seven inch comes from a library or a lending sort of... Or from a radio station.

Or from a station. Yeah. And I've got those lovely French ones with the disc door, which has a lovely... Oh, yes those lovely French ones with the disc door, which has a lovely... Oh, yes. Remember those ones?

It's on these same sort of stickers, these golden metallic stickers. What does that one say? This Simon Groom record has Phoenix Roadshow, Darren, and the phone number. Who calls it Darren? Then it says under Darren's phone number, it says any age, any occasion. Oh, God.

What's that referring to? Parties. I'm going to hope so. Otherwise, he's a nonce who sells Simon Groom records, which is horrible. It's the worst kind of nonce. Imagine a shop that only had this Simon Groom record in it. You wouldn't go in. Do you think there was an LP

associated with it? No. The B-side of Simon Groom's Can't Help Falling In Love is a... Instrumental. ...called Goldie. Which is named after the dog. Oh!

Yes. It's all making sense to me now, Paul. Yeah. It's a... That's... Because it was associated... It was a Peter Dog who died. Yeah.

And it's fucking terrible. And Pungle dug up, maybe. I don't know. The timeline works out with that. But yeah, Goldie was very popular. Was it a retriever? Golden Retriever. It was like, everyone knew Goldie.

They are. Simon Groom. Very friendly dogs, those. Yeah. Simon Groom, very friendly. Had to write a love song for his dog. He had to put charm on his dick. Meow.

We've all been here. Listen, mate. Yeah. When's Ruffles coming back? His dog. Ruffles the dog. Remember Ruffles the dog?'s Ruffles coming back That his dog Ruffles the dog Remember Ruffles the dog What Ruffles Who's he

There's Ruffles the dog Who's Richard Brandoff's dog Remember No there isn't Yeah Ruff ruff ruff Remember No but there's the dog

Who's a film critic That's Tarquin Oh there's too many dogs And cats in this podcast Anyway It is the most painful, awful, sad. Because it's sad when you listen to it. You feel sorry for him.

And there's a famous video on YouTube of him coming back to Blue Peter to perform this song. Really? Oh. Why did he do it to himself? And he sings it live. He doesn't even dub. Why did he do it to himself? What strange compulsion

because he wanted to be a pop star here's what happened right simon grube walks into the bbc tv center and meets the executive producer of blue peter and simon's exec goes oh simon have you been since you left the show oh yeah yeah got a few problem got a few projects going yeah yeah yeah um i just wonder if you could help me out you know we did a few problem got a few projects going yeah yeah yeah um i just wonder if you could help me out you know we did a few favors i did that thing for blue peter i was frightened about but you convinced me to do it so i thought i've got this song coming out producer goes oh god yeah i've got this song coming out i've financed it myself it's a cover of an elvis song i thought i'd come on to blue peter and just perform it come on you owe me come on you owe me

you owe you owe me why did he want to do it though and the producer's like oh god the producer because he's like yeah great okay can i listen to it no no absolutely not and i need to do it live and i need to have two backing singers hyperactively dancing in the background to make up for my deficient performance and he comes on looking like the fifth doctor from Doctor Who almost. He's got the whole Hawaiian t-shirt, shorts thing. He's singing it. And you just feel sorry for him. Yeah, that's terrible. I think the cast, that format of Blue Peter, felt sorry for him.

It's a sad moment. And just imagine when the song ended and the camera pans away, Sam was like, yeah, you're looking at him. No one could look him in the eye. Yeah, I know. And he left all by himself and no one saw him out. And the dressing room was empty

and no one came to congratulate him afterwards. And he just thought, he went home. Perhaps this isn't for me. He went home. He must still be working. And put peanuts up his meter. Man, that'd be bad.

The sad, tragic tale of Simon Groom. Actually, you know what? I don't know what happened to Simon Groom. Shall we have one last... I want to know what happened. Let's look at Simon Groom. Simon Groom, born 1950, is a British producer and director. He presented Blue Peter from 78 to 86.

That's it. Really? No, hang on. Oh, no, I found it. Groom was a fan of Derby County FC. Oh, OK. His interests include music, film, classic cars and steam locomotives Oh my word

He and his wife Gilly run a sheep farm in Derbyshire Okay, there you go Really involved in developing environmental projects He currently works as an ambassador for the city of Derby And in 2010 was given an honorary degree by the University of Derby For recognising his contribution to broadcasting That's it, he has a broadcasting career Came to an end, now he farms sheep G known for his during the program's production of blue peter

for his dry humor and ability to ablib innuendo one such statement was at the end of a piece on a replacement door knocker at durham cathedral declaring what a beautiful pair of knockers oh wow what a win another remark followed a piece about hedge maintenance, where he closed with the remark, as long as you've got a decent length to start with, then you can manage a good lay. He produced his first TV documentary, Angels and Devils, about Ken Russell, and did a bunch of Radio 4 stuff. Okay, well, you know, he's...

Fair play. Fair play to him. Just one record, which was a grave mistake. Yeah. But, you know, you live and learn. Yeah. He had the money at the time. That's that segment done.

See you soon. See you soon. We'll be right back after these words. Apple. Johnson. Fingertips. Rectograde. Oh, that's a good one.

Municipal. Flavisham. Barney. Hedgehog. Rutabaga. a good one. Municipal. Flavisham. Barney. Hedgehog. Rutabaga. Map. Arunskabal. Now you're just making words up.

It's not the same. It's a good word, isn't it? It's not. You're fucking ruining my word association. Do a psychologist listen to that bit going, what's all that about? Let's do that then before we end. Word association. I'll start a word and you say the word association.

Ready? Yeah. Lighter. Paper. Fix. Death. Paper. Fix. Death. Up. Death.

Life. Meters. Flag. Death. Grade. Scum. Right, okay, you know what? We've discovered there's no psychology needed.

There's no needed. You've ruined it. I've ruined it, haven't I? Yeah. Are we ending this segment? Oh, I was saying, a little wanker off. Yeah, no, let's do that. That's it. No. a little wanker off. Yeah, no, let's do that. That's it.

No. No, yeah. Come on. No. No, yeah, let's do that. I'd have to listen back to it. Oh, look. I'm looking out to sea.

Oh, it's a boat. Right, better get my mouth ready. Hello, I'm a sailor. Right, one wanking off. No, I've only just got off the bus. Leave me alone. I'll wank you off. I'll wank you off. I just want to go see guys and dolls. Do you want wanking off? No, I've only just got off the bus. Leave me alone. I'll wank you off. I'll wank you off.

I just want to go see guys and dolls. Do you know what? What? I'm a sailor wanker offer. Sailor wanker offer. Sailor wanker offer. That's me. That's me. Shut up. KTEL Records presents Volume 2

20 all-time greats of the 50s Goge Grant The wayward windmills The sensational Johnny Ray Just a-walking in the rain The magic of Tony Bennett In San Francisco With Percy Faith

Victor Moan Doris Day And many more Volume 2 20 all-time greats of the 50s, only £1.99. Available at Boots, Woolworths, WH Smith, Co-ops and most department stores and record shops. And that's it for this week's edition of Cheap Show. A musical special that we hope you've enjoyed as much as we have.

And we've had so much material, Paul, we haven't even got through it. So we'll have to do some revisit. The splatter section of the show again. We're going to have to force these vinyls back up our bottom. Razz-razz-ray. No, don't. I hate Bicky.

You liked him last time. I'm going to poison Bicky. I'm going to put a poison niblet in my metus. That's all Bicky does. He's a cat. I'm not looking all Bicky does. He's a cat. I'm not looking after Bicky anymore. Bickies. Bickies.

Get his name right. For Mr. Biscuits. Jimmy Biscuits' cat. Jimmy Biscuits' cat. Oi, where's my cat? There he is. Come over here, little fella. Meow.

I love you, Jimmy Biscuits. Yeah. And I love you too. It's sweet to see you two getting on. Now, come next door I've got some niblets for you right that's them done do you want to do any characters?

no right good that was Cheap Show thank you for listening if you'd like to support us on Patreon go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show anything from a dollar to thirty whatever you fancy it's up to you but we'll give you magazines and extra podcasts and little videos

and magazines and all sorts of fun stuff. And what's the special, special one they get? Well, the special, if you give us 30, we will make a cheap show episode just for you.

Not a full one, because that's ridiculous, but we'll give you like a 5, 10, maybe even 15 minute podcast if you're lucky. Shall I thwop it out? No. No, you don't need to thwop it out

for a podcast. My Man in the Boat? No. Imagine your My Man in the Boat had one hair coming out of it. No. God, shut up. Imagine My Man in the Boat.

You got it all tense by pulling on the hair and then you twanged it. I know, I get it. I'm twanging the hair on my man in the boat. I twanged the hair. I twanged the hair. You wanted a character.

What character is this? Twangy boat man. What does he do? You slap his bald head until he makes happy thoughts. Yes. Twang. Right, good. What a great new character happy thoughts. Yes. Twang. Right, good. Well, what a great new character that is.

It's not great. No, it's not great. I think we have to stop the show, Paul. We are. I'm trying to. I'm literally trying to stop the show right now. So if you want to email us anything, thecheapshowatgmail.com. We're on social media, at thecheapshowpod.

I'm at Paul Gannon Show. Eli is? Eli Snod, E-L-I-S-N-O-D-O-O-D-I-S-N. Can I just say? Yeah. It was only because I had eaten something that I needed a poo

and had to vomit at the same time. It's not normally what happens. Except that's happened twice now. Twice over about 15 years. I haven't done that once in 40... Well. What do you mean, well? You've got a...

You've got nothing. You've got nothing to come back with, and you're a dirty, naughty boy. You've got a lock... You've got what's known in the business as... Lock arse. Lock arse. Shut up. Right.

You've got metal lock arse. You've got clanger arse. We're also on... You've got locked mantis ar've got Locked Mantisass Tumblr Facebook Tumblr what's Tumblr good for?

Instagram absolutely nothing look for Cheap Show Pod on all of those platforms and I think that's it yes? can I just say no

you have said enough and even that wasn't enough it wasn't enough I've been so bad today Paul on the podcast. I'm sorry.

You've not. You've been all right. We wanted to make this one a bit more of a chatty one than just a rude one. And I think listening back, there were no rude moments in this podcast at all. Okay. I think we did very well today. All right. Thank you.

I didn't even use the C word. I know. I know. And I'd like to keep it that way. You fat cunts. Oh, poor. Very poor. All right. like to keep it that way you fat cunts oh very poor all right anyway we're hot and sweaty let's uh let's wrap this up and i'll see you next week everybody thanks bye I don't know. Get out, get out, fall in, get out, fall in love Get out, get out, fall in, get out, fall in love