CheapShow - Ep 146: Sonic Showcase Showdown

Episode Date: September 27, 2019

Guest Sooz Kempner. Another week, another mad dash through the bargain bins and charity shops of the UK... And this time we are joined by the grotesquely talented Sooz Kempner who has waded into the world of CheapShow unprepared for the pain that awaits... There is a nasty surprise for Eli, Paul is in agony every time he laughs and Gannon's Golden Games becomes less about playing "Treasure Hunt" (based on the classic Channel 4 quiz show) and more about the weird culty upbringing of Mr Silverman instead! It's packed with revelations and a whole lot of Sonic the Hedgehog crap. And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-146-sonic-showcase-showdown If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Guest: @SoozUK If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow

Oh, no. I need to say something before we get started. You need to know something, right? I'm an old man. And yesterday, while sneezing, I tore a muscle in my side here. So I've got a heat pack on. Oh, my goodness. But it does mean every time I cough, blink, not blink, cough, hiccup, sneeze or laugh, I go through amazing amounts of pain.

So can we make sure this show isn't too funny today? Just so. I'll do my best. Good start. Thank you, sir. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast. I'm Paul Gannon. I'm Eli Silverman, hello.

And let's just get it straight out the way. We are joined today by someone who I can't even describe with my power of words, which I've just shown there I don't have. Mate, stop trying to laugh. Shut up. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on to Cheap Show, Suze Kempner. Yay, me. Yay.

Me, that's me. That's my name. So do you know what you're in for? I've got a terrible idea. Ow. Oh, sorry. It's not going to work, Paul. I'm fighting through. I've done this show. Have you done in for? I've got a I've got a terrible idea. Ow! Oh, sorry. It's not going to work, Paul. I'm fighting through.

I've done this show. Have you done some painkillers? I've done this Yeah, I've done lots of painkillers. Don't you worry about that. My girlfriend gave me her special painkillers.

Oh, yeah. Which is why you're having ears on your head right now. I'm having ears on my head! Oh!

He's doubled over in pain. Oh, that's No, that's fine. Good start. I'm having ears on my head oh he's doubled over in pain no that's fine good start I'm having ears on my head you're having ears on your head

what have I got on my head nothing no ears nothing there are no witty comments you're like some

serenest I'm the faceless face of the damned eyes without a face yeah so yes you're on the

economy comedy show podcast where each week we go through the powerlands the charity shops the thrift stores Eyes without a face. Yeah. So, yes, you're on the Economy Comedy Show podcast, where each week we go through the pound lands, the charity shops, the thrift stores, the bargain bins, the jumble sales, the bazaars of Great Britain, and deliver content upon the things we find there. Hooray.

So with that, can we just go to the credits? Thank you. See you all next week. Paul, it's not boding well, mate. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles, alright? It's a fact of cheap show. You're going to have to fucking reset.

Noodle time. Tales from the Darks for a while. How's the big guy? The price of shite. This is what we're gonna take. Hello. Hello, yes, welcome. No, it bodes very well, Mr. Silverman, because I've done this show with headaches, with pulled leg muscles, bad back, toothache. I have done this show with a litany of symptoms.

Are you all right? Do you think you should? You sound like you have a lot of health issues. I mean, let's not turn this into a health podcast. I try and tell him this, but then he attacks me. The way he does it, he attacks my health issues, which, you know. And he doesn't see that it's out of care. It's not about us comparing who's going to cark it.

I still haven't vomited and shat myself at the same time. I'm just going to put that out there. I did that when I was drunk. Twice. Which did you choose to get in a container? Well, once when I was getting off the bus, obviously there was no option there and I had to do the waddle.

Puking. The old puke. That was years ago, though. The other day, I was getting chatted up by a barrister. A barrister? Yeah. What's a barrister? Someone who makes coffee.

Oh, right. Okay. Civil lawyer. Yeah. And I drank too much and then I had the deal. What's it called the coin flip the decision

the binary decision you talk to us like it happens to us as well yeah it's literally I've never the way you said that you went straight to which did you choose

to put in a container and it seemed there was some sort of foreknowledge of that sort of realm no I've just like my first thought was what would I choose but I've never had

you choose the poo poo obviously in the container every time. And so did I. I'm not insane. Hey, that's funny you bring that up. Would you like a little present for Mr Biffo? Oh.

What's that? Would I? This is from one of the videos we did on Digi recently. Well, first of all, hang on. Every guest who comes on the show gets a prezzie. So let me just sort the prezzies out. First of all, you get a cheap show badge. Thank you.

Oh, that's not horrible. Thank you. I like it. It's not horrible at all. And again, this week, today's special prize, and you're getting one too, Eli. It's like Oprah Winfrey. You've got one.

You've got one. It's a twisty, wiggly worm. Oh, I remember these. Oh. I like these. I really like these. I had a bright blue one for obvious reasons. I called mine Sebastian. I want to keep it mint on card, though, Paul. You can if these. I had a bright blue one for obvious reasons. I called mine Sebastian.

I want to keep it mint on card, though, Paul. You can if you want to keep it mint on card. I'm going to keep it safe because when it's a collector's item, I can sell it for like 40 coins. Did you sign it as well, Paul? Yeah, I can sign it for you if you want. They were called magic worms when... Yeah, magic twisty worm.

It's a magic twisty worm. And it's got a little invisible piece of string on it. Yeah. And you twizzle it around. You can weave it through your fingers and do tricks. People get quite good at it, don't they? Yeah. I'm a master, mate.

I'm a master. I'm a wiggly worm master. You're a master wiggly worm operator. The pictures on the back are drawn and he's got a big smile on his face. But in reality, he has zero expression. He's in very great pain. Aren't we all? Ladies and gentlemen, aren't we all?

You are. Yeah. So anyway, I've got a little present for Mr. Biffo for you. Oh, okay. He's very much looking forward to you opening this. All right, let's see. Now, these are taken from a recent video, but there's a bonus in there for you. Is it going to stink?

Should I have seen the video? Is it going to smell bad? The reason why I'm giving you it now is because you haven't seen the video yet. Oh. Okay. So just be very careful when you open it. Oh, no, I don't want to do this. I don't want to look.

Ladies and gentlemen, he's handed me... It's nothing, Dad. A plastic gold... Crate. Like a Chinese dragon symbol. Like a little treasure chest. Like a Chinese treasure chest. Treasure chest.

Treasure chest. What's in my cheshire chest? He's got a new character. I don't get the lock. Is there something? No, just take the lid off. Just take the lid off. There's a little red mechanism on the side.

It's a spoon for scooping out the innards of the thing that I bought in there. It's all right. It's just sand stuff. It was like a little dig box. You know, you see them? You know them. It appears to be a lump of cannabis.

Is it? Would I give you a lump of cannabis on the show? Is it poop? It looks like poop. It might be poop. I've touched it now. It's Biffo's, it's owl poop. Specifically owl poop. Is it owl pellet? It's a pellet? It's a pellet. Okay, that's not poop.

Again, it's funny that we've come to the same thing. Poo and puke, and which goes in the container? Well, it's all magically coming together. And it was an owl pellet, which is sick. Which is sick, yeah, that's what I'm saying. So this owl made a decision to... He tossed the coin. They might poo as well, though.

Do owls just do it all? They shit like a bird. Well, they're birds. Shit like a bird. I like owls. do it all? They shit like a bird. Well, they're birds. Shit like a bird. I like owls. That well-known song from the 90s. Shit like a bird inspiration. What's that?

Oh, it's broken, is what it is. A plastic spider with a gold crown. It's a scorpion. It's a scorpion. It's a tiny little... Still an arachnid, so I was half right. Is it? They are related, aren't they?

Yeah. They're mates. They're closely more related closely more related scorpions and spiders then those two insects you dig a bunch of

shit out and you get that toy in it do you know they used to be giant but it was my decision to give you the poo I like this yeah

yeah I like him I think he's alright he's lovely and there's also another little plastic green bug he's got like what's his name from Mad Max?

He's got a breathing mask on. Oh, who's that guy? Lord Humongous. Joe, big guy Joe. Imparator Joe? Is that his name? Imparator Joe. No, because it's, what's her name to the Imperator?

Cotton Eye Joe. Cotton Eye Joe. It's Cotton Eye Joe. Joe Swash. I've been forgotten, Joe. I've been married a long time. We need to bring this back. What was Aqua's second hit?

Turn Back Time. No. Dr. Jones. Yeah. Dr. Jones is what Cotton Eye Joe should have been. You know what I mean? Well, good. Yeah.

I don't think either of them are classics, if I'm honest. I like Aqua. Sorry, guys. Don't diss Aqua. It's all right. It's only me who's a... It's an even smaller green spider. That's a spider.

That came all in the same box. Green't diss that question. It's all right. It's only me. It's an even smaller green spider. That's a spider. That came all in the same box. Okay. And there's a very small, like a hand grenade thing. I don't know what that is. Oh, Jesus Christ. Let me see this. And there's a lump of quartz. That came from another big box where you can chisel out

and one out of every hundred boxes, you can get a real piece of diamond. No, you can't. That's what it says on the box. What nonsense. It does. That's because diamonds aren't inherently worth money. Are, you can't. That's what it says on the box. What nonsense. It does. That's because diamonds aren't inherently worth money.

Are they not? No. De Vere's, there's loads of diamonds. De Vere's in the 30s created an advertising campaign saying you should spend half your salary

on your engagement ring and a diamond ring and that's where it comes from, the diamond ring as an engagement ring and they just charge a fortune for him. That's why if you buy a second-hand engagement ring, from, the diamond ring as an engagement ring. And they just charge a fortune for him.

That's why if you buy a second-hand engagement ring, like an antique diamond ring, they're not that much money. Yeah, a really beautiful one for 100 quid. Ladies and gentlemen, you've had a tip on this show. A fact and a tip. So that whole thing with diamonds is just... It's a load of bollocks.

But they just keep reinforcing that with films like Mission Impossible or whatever. They've got a huge diamond. That's it. it's the most I mean a giant one will be worth a lot of money because you don't find them with crystals that big

normally but it's like that one the Queen's got there's loads of diamonds yeah the one in her hat yeah the hat diamond

real nice hat love probably worth 40 quid or more after waiting till I sell my wiggly worm in 10 years I can't laugh. Sorry.

No, it's all right. One last thing before we end this introduction segment. What am I going to do with this alpug? Well, do what I did. Eat it.

Open it up and look for little bones and things because it's got like shrew skulls and stuff like that. A skull? That's pretty actually cool.

That's really cool. That's what we did on the episode. We dropped it in some hypopropyl myocardial gold. Hypopropyl myocardial gold. Shut up. Hypopropyl myocardial gold. It some hypopropyl hypopropyl shut up isoprofil

you do what? isoprofil isoprofil isoprofil, I love EastEnders did it to you again see what you did with the Phil you don't even know I don't know EastEnders Phil Mitchell

and Danny's brother Danny come round here it goes down places so we now have a PO box and we have our first PO sent to us in the mail

right this is from David or at Wubbings don't know what that means but it says hello Paul and Eli mainly Eli that's what he says in comment

mainly Eli sucks to be Paul today, doesn't it? Not just today. It's an ongoing daily grind. Nothing but health issues. Eli's out there living his life, puking out of both ends. You've not seen his life. Yeah, it's true.

There's things. I mean, I'm not going to... There's things and stuff. There's things in my life, like stuff. There's no hope. Right. I would like to say thank you for starting off my interest. Like? Stuff. There's no hope. Right. I would like to say thank you for starting

off my interest in charity shop hunting as I now earn money from buying cheap and selling high on eBay. Great. Sometimes items

are too obscure and they don't sell. Fair enough. It's like that Castle Grayskull thing I found. Still on £450. No one's buying it.

Two people watching. It ain't going for £450. Well, then that's why this is when you step in and you put one on for 150 and then it goes because everyone's going that's too much.

Then you get a couple of bidders and they're like, no, no, no, no, no. You're not winning this. I'm winning this. See, I don't know this game. You need to put it on. I'm a big fan of eBay.

Put a reserve that's realistic but much cheaper than the other places. No income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantee. Put it on for what?

150. Put it all on red. You're a singer, right? So it's all going to go singy. It's going to go very singy. If I get my way. Oh, way. However, I did one item find.

No, that wasn't a sentence. I did find one item that was too obscure for eBay Marketplace. And I feel it will be a great fit for Eli. Right, so I'm just going to throw you it. Catch. What do you see, Mr. Silverman? This is a Nestle

Wonka Nerds Calculator and it's mint on card. It's not. Stop saying mint on card when you just need it in its box.

Mint on card, mint on card, mint on card. Mint on card. Does that mean it's still in its box? I'll demonstrate it to you so if I hand you this magic twisty worm that is mint on card. Mint on card. Does that mean it's still in its box? Yes. I'll demonstrate it to you, Cece.

If I hand you this magic twisty worm, that is mint on card. So I can see. Okay. And also, the bridge, what's that called? Where they hang it up on the... Hole. Hole.

It's a hole. I bet that's got a technical term, though. Yeah, it's intact. If that was bad, it wouldn't be mint on card, would it? If that was broken. If the banjo was broken. Mine's still got the thing in the hole that you'd have to pop out. Now, that's even more mint on card than this one.

Very mint on card. We'll have to take photos of these to demonstrate mint on cardedness. But the plastic that the worm is in has been crushed a little. Yeah, so has mine. You give with one hand, you take with the other. Anyway, this is a nerd calculator. It's just a giant plastic toy. Yeah.

It doesn't look like a calculator. I think its back opens up and you can do math. Nerds, what do you think of nerds? I like them. I love them. You love a nerd. I prefer them to the much hyped millions. Oh, millions, yeah.

Millions are more chewy. Millions just waded, walked onto the marketplace, chest out and went, look, we're big billy balls. Hi, we've got two flavours. They're really similar. Is that it? Millions are not good. Not compared to the good old Nerd.

You couldn't chew just one, whereas a Nerd, you could put just one in your mouth and you'd be laughing for two minutes. Fair enough. So this Nerd's calculator, which is almost mint in box, he does say it on the letter, and it's now not because he's opened it up, was bought from Age Concern for £1.49.

The prices in the northern region are much cheaper. That is true. That is true. The further south you go, the more charity shops get costly. It's a good one in Clapham, though. It's a very good one, isn't it? Age UK on Clapham High Street. Really?

It's where I've just been. Oh, mate, we had to go there. I was looking for some turds for a show on your show. All I found was excellent clothes for not very much money. I love that. Well, that's the funny thing. When I spoke to the charity shop retail association recently

about something or other, they said they don't like people thinking of their stores as cheap. They like thinking it was like good clothing for affordable prices. Oh my God. And things like that. I just got for £18

two pairs of Topshop jeans that I'd never buy in store because they treat their workers horribly and they're £40 a pop. £3.99 a pair. And I got for £1.99 an ASOS top. That'd be like £15 new. And a silk warehouse jumpsuit.

This is for all the clothes. My ears perked up. That's like 70 quid, surely. So basically over 150 quids worth of gear, £18. There you go. We haven't done a fashion one yet. We need to do a fashion cheap show. We're going to do a fashion one.

We keep planning on doing a fashion cheap show. Would you like to know what I got on eBay recently? Can you legally tell us? Yeah. Sounds really ominous. Yeah, no. On eBay, I just came back from the fringe and decided I really wanted a nice trouser suit because I don't own one.

And I thought that'd be a cool look for gigs, like singing gigs and that. trouser suit because I don't own one and I thought that would be a cool look for gigs like singing gigs and that and I found a brown pinstripe with a cream pinstripe

Ralph Lauren silk trouser suit it was it was a beauty and I've got a friend she adjusts clothes and it was on for £9.99 had a week to go

and I went I want it so much I'm going to bid £400 £400? I bid £400 that's how much I wanted it no one else bid I got

a Ralph Lauren two grand trouser suit for £9.99. That is uncredible. It arrived in a fit perfectly. Is it uncredible then? It's uncredible. Hang on, how did you get it for £9.99 if you bid for bid 400? Because you put your highest bid on.

If no one else bids, you get it for the starting price. Yeah. Oh, because there was no other bids. Yeah. That's how it works. We should do an eBay episode as well. Well, yeah. No, thank you.

That's twice in 15 minutes You've had two salient facts We've done episodes Without doing anything like that Episodes Happy to help Edutainment A little update on this

Frankly Quite charming Nerds calculator It's cute isn't it It's got personality It's quite cool That it's backside opens Is it a frog

Or is it It's not It's a nerd Oh it's a nerd Yeah it's what the character Is on the box I recognise my own I didn it... It's a nerd. Oh, it's a nerd. Yeah, that's what the character is on the box. I recognise my own. I didn't know.

It's associated with this Willy Wonka type. Willy Wonka, he's merely selling the sweets. Yeah. And what the nerds are, the sweets. He doesn't speak for them politically. He's a supplier rather than a nerd. It's got a little, quite a rigid tongue. Oh, yeah, look at that.

That's a nice detail. And you open its backside and I can tell you now, it does work, this guy. Excellent. So I've got a little, quite a rigid tongue. Oh, yeah, look at that. That's a nice detail. And you open its backside, and I can tell you now, it does work, this guy's got a little zero there. And it goes on and off. Oh, thank you, David. Now the post box is open. I am looking forward to a whole shitload of horrible crap coming into this show on a weekly basis.

That's very nice, but I just don't have room for any of this stuff. I'm going to have to put it on the shelves. Well, one of the things we're going to do on Cheap Show in a future episode is Biffo and I Are going to do a car boot thing Where we'll set up a stall and try and sell some stuff And do a challenge Like one of those shows you see on telly

We'll go down and take a big bin bag and flog it Right, shall we crack on with show? We've got a packed show ladies and gentlemen Tonight we've got a very special edition of The Price is Shite And we're going to play another Do it with the fucking mean gusto What do you mean no? ladies and gentlemen. Tonight we've got a very special edition of The Price is Shite and we're going to play another Ganon's Golden Games. Do it with the fucking mean gusto.

What do you mean no? Because it's only fun when you don't want me to say it. Can I do it? I've got showbiz. All right. Give it a bit of showbiz sparkle. Okay, lead it in.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've also got coming up in the last part of the show a very special edition of Ganon's Games or something. Oh, fuck. Rubbish. It's now time, ladies and gentlemen,

for everyone's favourite section of the show that we can't get rid of and adapt every week to suit our whims. Mate, stop. What? You're just inept sometimes, that's all. I'm sorry. Go on, then.

It's the fucking price of shite. That's it. I've truncated. What happened to us? Is this the last episode? Every episode is the last episode. You have no idea. It's like an abusive relationship, isn't it?

It's a bit like one. It's a lot. It is one. You're the friend who's been invited over on a Sunday for a nice coffee evening and had to put up with something frosty going on between the loving couple. You've never loved my mother.

Oh, my mother's a saint. Fascinating. Have you got any other stories about your mum? Maybe... No, don't you dare. Maybe, never loved my mother. Oh, my mother's a saint. Fascinating. Have you got any other stories about your mum? Maybe... No, don't you dare. Maybe, I don't know. About what?

Did she go down the market, get some vegetables, bring some veg home, put some veg in an oven? Did she put it right in the oven? Does she put large vegetables into the oven? Fully clothed?

Fully clothed? What is this? You have... Is there not anything like that you can recall, Paul? Eli's got a kink where he likes to imagine my mum inserting big vegetables into the oven. Or like a parsnip, just on its own.

Don't get started. It could be anything. I like cucumbers. In the oven? Bake a cucumber? That's disgusting, isn't it? Look what you've done to Paul. Cooked cucumber.

Have you ever had one that's gone cooked? No, of course I haven't. They're a salad vegetable. They are. That's what I'm trying to say. But, of course I haven't. They're a salad vegetable. They are. That's what I'm trying to say. But you do have dishes where you just have them with warm food. I hate this show sometimes. Well, a lasagna with a salad.

Have you ever had a Hainanese chicken rice? No. You said the word Hain's wrong. Hainanese. It's like rice which is cooked with garlic and ginger, boiled chicken, and then cucumber is there, and then chilli sauce. It's,

oh. Right. And then they serve it with a little side of just chicken broth. Okay, well. Clear broth. And you,

you know, you've got the cold cucumber, the hot broth. Did you hear about that band from the 80s called, uh, Broth?

Their favourite song was When Will I Be Savoured? Okay. What's this price is Shite then? Oh, look. You didn't deserve that. It would have been better if it was a lisp joke. You should have been laughing at that.

They're called Broth and their hit was When Will I Be Famous. That's much better. Yeah, no, it's better. Good punch up, Elo. Anyway, we're playing the Price is Shite. Serves you right for laughing at that. That wasn't funny. It's funny.

I didn't laugh at my own jokes. I'd never hear any laughter. Oh, God. This has become a real marathon of pain. Are we going to do a Twitch later? Are we going to have to cancel the Twitch? No, we'll do the Twitch. You're doing Twitch?

What are you going to do on Twitch? I believe we're playing Philip Schofield's Five Golden Rings. Yeah. Nice. Which is not a euphemism. Another board game. Another board game. Another board game.

Look at him. I saw this in Double H Smith's going for £30. £2 in charity shop. But was it £30 like 15 years ago? No, like as of last Christmas. You are kidding me. Because they buy these games for Christmas. No one plays them.

They go in a cupboard and then a few months later they say, let's get rid of some shit. Yeah. Pointless, the board game. Played that on Christmas one day. Pointless. It was rubbish. Yeah, let's get rid of some shit. Yeah. Pointless, the board game. Played that on Christmas one. Yeah, pointless. It was rubbish. Yeah, really?

I'd rather watch the TV show. And the QI board game, absolutely awful. There's been reviews on Board Game Geek saying, it's nothing like the show. It's just trivia questions

and you get to hear the buzzer. Well, but sometimes something won't necessarily translate, like QI. You know, there's nothing to it. It's the personality of the people on it. Exactly. It's pure panel, isn't it? And when you'veI. You know, it wouldn't be. No, there's nothing to it. It's the personality of the people on it.

It's pure panel, isn't it? And when you've got personalities such as you or I, oh, it's a bad time. I just don't want to work with you when I do that kind of work. That's all. Shut up. It's now time to play The Price of Shite. Now, this is the Showcase Showdown edition.

We've never done this before, but this is all aimed now towards Suze. Really? Because Suze, in case people don't know, brilliant comedian, brilliant actress, brilliant singer, all of which was shown when she did Digitiser Live, where she debased herself for Biffo, as we all do. Was that in the second half? I think I was all right.

I did do something in the second half. I can't remember what. I don't think I... I think I got off quite lightly in the show. Yeah. I sort of went away, not feeling like I'd come to any harm. Nothing was splashed

on me or anything. Yeah, I did sniff some tube, but that was your own inclination. I decided to sniff a tube. Yeah, you made the choice to. Sniff the tube.

You took control. I took control and just... Sniff the tube. I dosed myself on the tube juice. Whereas I just say anything. I say yes to Biffo all the time.

Because I'm desperate for attention. Just on that point, now that we're on that subject, what am I going to do with this album? Open it and look for a skull. Oh, yeah, look for it. Should I do that now? No, because this place will stink. Well, do it on Twitch.

Do it on Twitch. Look for a pellet on Twitch when I'm far away. I'm going to open this album. All right, good. So, Suze, going to open this out. All right, good. So, Suze, explain to people why specifically, because you recently came back from Edmund doing a show about Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah.

Why? Why? Why the obsession with Sonic? Why? Why? Why? So, I like to look back on my childhood for comedy, because I remember things really well from my childhood

but I don't but it's so long ago yeah and a large part of my childhood was playing Sega Sega Sega

Soos so I like to look back on it and link it to video games and put it in a stand up show I've done two now based on yeah

both about Sonic last year was Super Sonic 90s Kid. That was mostly Sonic. This year was called Mega Drive. It was mostly about Mega Drive.

Right, so there were other games that you covered. Oh, yeah. Okay. No, I don't want to pigeonhole her as a Sonic obsessive. What was the original

Toe Jam & Earl? Was that Mega Drive? Yeah. And Toe Jam & Earl 2 was a lot edgier. Was it? Yeah, it came out last year. 2 was a lot edgier. Was it? Yeah, it was only came out last year.

No, they remastered it this year and brought it out. Yeah. So Toe Jam & Earl 2 was from that era, the same era as Toe Jam & Earl 1. I think so, yeah.

Unless it was a Saturn thing, but I don't think so. I remember playing Toe Jam & Earl. Don't give me style, you're Saturn. 299. Toe Jam & Earl was fun, but a bit pointless.

All right, thanks. Thanks for your input. I used to watch someone else play it. Did you? Yeah. Was that your whole life, watching other people play video games? A lot of it was, because my friend, you were the first Let's Play viewer. I wasn't in a family where they got me consoles at all.

Because they were big hippies, and it wasn't about that. Hey man, the only screen you need is in the sky. Ow! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Don't apologise. Sorry for being really funny. Whilst everyone was getting

their master system or whatever, Atari, I was, you know, fending off cult members and eating... What cult? It was a benevolent cult

luckily but yeah it wasn't like Om Shurikia or something like that it wasn't even huge no it wasn't I can't imagine him as that

although you do look like a bit like the main guy I would have liked to be in Om Shurikia you would have done really well you probably would have made it happen nutters

roaming around one of their subterranean speed factories with ricin in balloons on the tube oh my goodness yeah perfect horribly horribly perfect one of their subterranean speed factories with ricin and balloons on the tube yeah

perfectly perfectly horribly horribly perfect so it didn't work did it on Shumrikiya they only got

they got close yeah they I mean they they wanted to kill like 20,000 people I think it was something like 8 or 30

well in terms of how much they had of that gas sarin they had enough if it had been utilised efficiently properly to kill like 7 million yeah to wipe out we just said that of that gas, sarin, they had enough if it had been utilised efficiently, properly,

to kill, like, seven million. Yeah, to wipe out... We just said that. We just said that. I think I said 20,000. I mean, still, I'm going to go with her.

She's the expert. But essentially, their mission failed even though they did kill some. Yeah. So, because they were incompetent. And on acid. They were on acid.

Yeah, they were high as balls. So it wasn't that kind of cult. But it meant that I did not... It was like TV was banned. It was very much that hippie sort of approach where it's like vegetarian, no TV, it's all evil. All of this sort of media is evil. Armish.

Computer games. You're a Quaker and an Armish. Computer games are definitely out. Okay. They were part of that whole, you know, sugar on like sweets and... So you used to go and play it with your friends and watch it with your friends.

And he was... My friend was well-to-do. Yeah. So you used to go and play it with your friends and watch it with your friends and he was my friend was well to do yeah so he used to get everything he got the Atari two Gameboys two two Gameboys

yeah two Gameboys what so he could play two player with himself no he didn't even have a link cable so his mate could play it mental I just borrowed

his other Gameboy nice he had a Lynx sounds like Will Smith or something he had a Lynx he had a Lynx yeah

fucking hell I'm pretty sure my mum got all my toys off the back of a lorry can of Dodger things. Seriously. So called like a Blinks. Well, no, yeah. No, no. We had a proper thing. It was a real thing.

But I sometimes think, considering the consoles we had, and I know my parents couldn't afford it, where they got it from. Wow. On the layaway or the HP, wherever they called it back in the day. Possibly, yeah. Unipackard. Right. So he had everything.

But basically, the end of that story, Paul, is that I, because it was his stuff when I was around at his house and he played them all, and I generally, you know, used to have to watch him play. Yeah.

For hours. I see. And then he'd give me a go and I'd die immediately because I didn't know how. And he also used to have a real problem with rage quitting back then.

I've seen him, like, smash his head against a Game Boy and fling it across the room and break it, literally. My brother did that. He would get the Game Boy and just go, oof, nutty! That's the thing.

Like Pennywise in the new It films, pushing through the glass. The ultimate rage quitter. What did you think of the new It film? Right, too much CGI, too long, wouldn't have changed a thing. That was my book. It's my favourite book.

Yeah. That was my book, realised on the screen. I think it was made with love. And I see why there was too much CGI. And I see why it was that long. Because they had to. Was it as good as the first episode? No, I think the first film was better.

But I think the first film, I think the two films suffer from the fact that the book, the timelines run concurrently. And they tried to do a bit of that with the second film. Yeah, that's why Her doesn't work so well. It was like they did it reasonably well, but they didn't know they were definitely going to make a second film. So I see why they had to do the one with the kids. Because it does feel reasonably self-contained, the first one. But it's like when they let it wear back and added To Be Continued to the end of Back to the Future when that was re-released on video. Really?

They stopped the To Be Continued on at the end of that. Because when it was originally released, it was just the end of the film, wasn't it? Yeah. Was it? Yeah. There was no To Be Continued when it was originally shown in theatres. I saw it in America when it first came out. Did you?

All right, clever. Was your cult in America? No. My parents were American, but the cult was... He was an American, the guy, Dar Darth Rejon, who was the guru. Darth what? Was he a Star Wars character? No, Dar, D-A.

Dar-free-jon. Dar-free-jon. It does sound like Darth Re-don, though. Is this a bit famous? Is there, like, books on this? Oh, yeah. It wasn't huge, but it was... What was it called?

Him. What was the cult called? I don't know. It was, like, the inter-Darth Rejon. Dar-free-jon. It was just him. It was called something, so the Order of the Thingamajigs or whatever. Order was the cult called? I don't know. It was like the inter-Darfreed John. Darfreed John. It was just him. It was called something. So the Order of the Thingamajigs or whatever.

Order of the Phoenix. Oh, okay. Order of the Thingamajigs. He wrote a kid's book, which I had to read. Oh. How to be happy. If I look into this and it's like terrible crimes have been committed, I'm going to ask some questions.

You're going to be a guest. It was about how to be happy. You're complicit. The book was basically saying, look at this apple. It's all atoms. Everything's vibrating. And nothing is nothing at the centre at this apple. It's all atoms. Everything's vibrating. And nothing is nothing at the centre of it all. So just be happy.

Okay. Well, I mean. It didn't work for you, did it? Because you're invisible as fuck. Right. Let's just get on with the show. All right. Sorry.

So here's the thing, Suze. Okay. I've designed this to pick up things that I've found either I've been given and I've found the price for or I've bought online or I've found in a charity shop. They're all Sonic related. Oh my God. I've gone out of my way. Now, here's the thing. You're going to see four items. Okay. So Sonic related.

So all Sonic related, right? You're going to see four items. Okay. You look at them one at a time. We'll discuss them a little bit. Then at the end, they want you to give me a price of what you think the whole package is worth. If you are in £2.50, either way, the correct price, you will win everything you see tonight. You'll be going home with this tonight. So I hope you brought a bag because I'm not taking it back. I have brought a bag. It's full of jeans.

So she's going to win it whatever happens. No. You've just totally punctured the whole thing. What do you mean? No, I'll give it to you. Or we'll smash it in the street. I'll just give it to her. So I don't want more crap.

I've already got a big piece of plastic crap and some owl puke. You've got an owl puke and a nerd calculator. You're up on the day already, mate. Don't forget the twisty worm. So here's the first thing. This we used on a digitiser video, so I've asked Biffo how much he paid for them. So we're going to start off with this one because it's a little bit damaged.

Suze, tell me what you see. Could I play as well? Yeah, of course you are. Oh, shit. These are marshmallow with jam filling Sonic sweets. They look disgusting. Yeah, can I just say... They're open.

Is it how much they're worth? When we bought them. Yeah. Mint on cart. It's not mint on bloody cart, is it? It's not mint on cart. I just explained that to you. Why did you open that?

Because we used it in a Digi video. Because they ate it in a video, maybe. It's just a run-off from Digi, isn't it? Yes. Shut up. I'm fine with that. I'm video, maybe. It's just a run-off from Digi, isn't it? Yes, shut up. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. There's probably a lot of people watching and listening who would kill to be in my position.

Oh, yeah. The way Sonic's head's been ripped open. As is. If you can put it a certain way, it makes him look like he's a bit backward. Like when you fold the Queen's face on a note and she looks a little bit... Can I see them, please? Yeah, have a look at these. So, yeah, have she looks a little bit... Can I see them, please?

Yeah, have a look at these. So, yeah, have one, take one out. Can I take one, please? You'll be trying one. Can I eat it? Yeah. I'm quite excited. But that's like official Sonic artwork, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. It's the official merchandise. It's a licensed Sonic piece of horrible crap. Oh, it feels horrible. Jam-filled marshmallow. It feels like when you pick the poly filler from the side of the bath. Yeah. It's not even blue.

It's white. No, they put it in blue wrapping. So from behind you think, oh, it's blue. This is what I've been tricked with Bombay Sapphire like this. Okay. Bombay Sapphire would be much better if it was blue. Blue colour. Oh, my God.

Are you enjoying it? Is there any jam yet? Is there jam filling? Oh, I found the jam. It is at one minuscule corner of the marshmallow. It's like... Oh, God. It's like a black gel.

It looks like a scab. Yeah. Eat that scab. Oh, of course Eli likes it. I mean, it's all right. I like it. I don't like marshmallow anyway, so... I don't like marshmallow. Do so... I don't like marshmallow.

Do you know what I do like about this? Go on. Not too sweet. No, okay, I'll give you that. It was not horribly sweet, like some cheap... Like sophisticated. Sophisticated Sonic marshmallows. That's not too bad, really.

It could be a lot worse, couldn't it? A really good jam. Yeah, I know what you mean. It's kind of the jam. I imagine they come out the way they went in there. The jam isn't overly artificial tasting, is it? I'm pleasantly surprised

considering everything. Yeah, no, I think, as I say, you've got off quite lightly with certain snacks because we've had some

marshmallows that were revolting. Yeah. I just don't like them. What's the point of them? You burn them and then what? I like a burnt marshmallow. Yeah. It's very nostalgic for me,

but I just think, in reality, Did you do that in I like them in their molten form. No's very nostalgic for me, but I just think, in reality... Did you do that in... I like them in their molten form. No, I did not do that in the cult. Kim Jong-il. Right, so that's the first item. You don't have to tell me

your price right now, but if you want to give a ballpark figure. How much he paid, imagine it was on import. It's got a price tag on it. How much does it say on there? Because it's not how much it is.

It says seven. Just the number seven. Seven. So don't worry on it. How much does it say on there? Because it's not how much it is. It says seven. It's just the number seven. Seven. So don't worry about it. All right. I've got a guess, and I've guessed it. All right. It doesn't matter if you want to tell me now,

because you can adjust it as we go. Five pounds. Five pounds. Wow. Five pounds, I think, because I think they're probably imported. All right. Wow.

And these were bought in this country, were they, Paul? I believe so. Wow, five pounds. I have a bit of writing on the back, actually. Yeah. And these were bought in this country, were they, Paul? I believe so. Wow, five items. I have a big writing on the back, actually. Yeah. Next item. Okay. Next item.

Say what you see, sues. Oh, I like that. That's a good catchphrase, isn't it? Say what you see, sues. Say what you see, sues. Do that. I know it doesn't really work for a podcast. No.

None of this is working for a podcast. Shut up. Anyway, next item. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. This is next item. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. This is... Right.

So, Right Said Fred, the greatest band in... You've got the Beatles, Queen, Right Said Fred. Yeah. In that order as well. And then the Stones, yeah. They released a single. It's called Wonder Man.

And it says it's got a sticker on the front. I'm not saying that Right Said Fred's careers weren't going in a direction they would have liked, says it's got a sticker on the front. I'm not saying that Right Said Fred's careers weren't going in a direction they would have liked. But it's got a sticker on the front that says, as featured in the Sega Sonic 3 TV commercial. There's a lot of caveats. There's a lot of caveats. God, it's so bottom of the barrel. And this is the 7-inch. Yeah.

So a little vinyl. So if you ever wanted Right Said Fred 7-inches. There you go. 1994 Sonic 3? Yeah. Yeah. So basically what that suggests to me is that they had the song out already. And it was licensed for the commercial. And then they decided to try and boost the sales by putting the sticker on.

Yeah, it looks like it. I think the thing was they released the song first and then Sega came to them and went, well, we're releasing this soon. Would you like to be the song of Sonic 3? Yeah. So off the back of that, they probably re-released it with that sticker on. Yeah. And the artwork.

And they did a new video. New video. Yes. Yeah, because the artwork on the front, he's got Sonic's gloves on. And that was basically the last thing they ever did, wasn't it? I don't know. I think it might have been. When did they do the stonk?

What the fuck is that? That was the comic release song they did in the 90s. Was it the stonk? No, Stick It Out. Stick It Out was the... What's the stonk? The stonk was Hail was the comic relief song they did in the 90s was it the stonk no stick it out stick it out what's the stonk the stonk was hail and pace

don't get me started on comic relief songs I know them spirit in the sky featuring the kumars that was the last decent one they did ever since that

it's been bloody ballads at least that had a comedy element to it so it was just the kumars doing spirit in the sky no gareth gates was singing it yeah

not young ones and cliff richard or banana rama and lanadini nunu with help It was just the Kumar's Doing Spirit in the Sky. No. Gareth Gates was singing it. Yeah. Not Young Ones and Cliff Richard. Or Banana Rama and Lananini Nunu with Help. And it's certainly not The Stonk by Helen Pace. Name some other ones. I bet you can't. Love Can Build a Bridge by Cher Naina Cherry. Okay.

I want two more. McFly, It's All About You. Okay. And one more. Yeah. And then Mr Bean, I Want to Get Elected. You do know a lot of uh comic oh isn't um show me the way to amarillo that was one as well yeah that was an unofficial release

because the one that they had at the time was i think like fucking boys own doing some band and they were like this i've got another french in the background falling over what's that guy called who sang show me the way to amarillo originally christy the way to town. I've got a single by him Don't Go Down To Reno. Yeah. He's got a thing about places and where you shouldn't He has a song called

Avenues and Alleyways which is a great song. Do you want to hear a story about me being asked to sing it? Yes. It's not long. I used to do a lot of pubs. We're going back about eight years.

I used to take my PA assistant to pubs and sing for like three sets. And a guy came up drunk and went Do you do Avenues and Alleyways? And I went, no, sorry, I don't. Great song, but I don't. He walked off. Came back later more drunk and went, do you do Avenues and Alleyways?

I went, no, I don't do Avenues and Alleyways, but great song. And he went, oh, walked off. And he came back really drunk just before the third set and went i want you to do avenues and alleyways and i went i don't do avenues and alleyways he went fuck off you cunt and i went to the bar and that guy's just called me a cunt and they went oh that's simon god that's depressing yeah so there's my song there's my story about the song avenues it's a thought because you used to have tales from the dance So there's my story about the song, Aventures. You know what? It's a thought.

Because you used to have your... It's a tale from the dance floor, really. It's a tale from the dance floor you've given us, Thea. Thank you very much. I've had a similar thing where they get really aggy. Really? It's like, yeah. I think it was like a Diana Ross tune he wanted me to play.

I think it was... What's it called? Can't Hurry Love. Yeah. And I didn't have it with me. And by the end, he was like, you fucking better will. I want to hear Can't Hurry Love. Yeah. And I didn't have it with me and by the end he was like, you fucking better will. I want to hear Can't Hurry Love.

You know what I mean? You fucking better will. It's like, whoa. I can't physically do it. That's what people don't realise. If you can't hurry love, you better hurry yourself out the door, mate. So you had your own backing track tape.

Is that right? Oh, well, they were all on my computer. Yeah. Yeah. My backing track tape. No. It wasn't 1986. Sorry.

Right. Are we ready for the next item? Sure I am. By the way. Oh do you want a value for this? Oh yes I should. Have you heard the song? Do you know it?

Yeah. Yeah. It's not good. I'm going to play a clip of it now. Wonder Man. Wonder Man! There he is, having a blast We'll see you next time. Out of tune with him, power sneaking He's that good, just ain't that easy Wonder Man He is a Mr. Wonder Man Wonder Man

He's a Mr. Wonder Man Wonder Man Wonder Man Wonder Man He's a Mr. Wonder Man Yeah, it's not great. It's so bad. It's a bit deepy, deepy, deeply dippy.

Deepy dippy. That deeply dippy was a big hit for me. I like deeply dip, dip. Why can't I say deeply dip? Oh, I did. Deeply dippy. Yeah. I've ruined it now.

I like it. I like deeply dippy because I like a song with a good horn section. Yeah. I'm a sucker for a good horn. Don't you snigger. It's not a very good song. None of their songs are very good. No, they're rubbish And he cannot sing

No I'm valuing this at Six grand How much did So how much was it paid for I got this online By the way if it helps And again it's not expensive

So don't go crazy No I can I'm opening you up here Can I ask something about the cover Sorry to interrupt Can I Is it Have they put a Sonic hand on him as well

He's got Sonic gloves on. Is that a sticker as well? Sonic gloves as well. Wonder man. I think it's actually the first design for Sonic from the movie. I think they went with this first. They should have stuck with that. It's nicer.

It's not as... I haven't got uncanny value looking at that. It just makes me sad. I reckon... Oh, God. They're going to change it, though, in the film, aren't they? I think you paid £2 for it. Oh.

All right. Okay, so £2. Next item. Can I have a guess? Oh, you pay £2 for it. Oh, all right. Okay, so £2. Next item. Can I have a guess? Oh, yeah. I forgot your ear. Go on, yeah. I haven't guessed on these either.

Go on. Have a little moment. How much do you think for that? How much for the sweets? I think they're not going to be a five. I think they're going to be more like three. Oh, all right. Okay.

Okay. And the single. Can I ask where you purchased this, Paul? eBay. You got it sent in. I got it sent in, but it's cheap. And I'm not including postage and packaging. Oh, thank you.

All right, here we go. Yeah, I think you're about right. So I'm going to undercut your... Okay, okay. It's just slightly insane. I was being kind. £1.75. £1.75, right.

That's how he likes to do it. Because this might be one of those ones where it's like, I got it for 1p. Yeah. Next one. Okay. Oh, this is wonderful. Say what you see, Suze.

Oh, this is fantastic. Okay. So it is a completely, you know, not 2D, but not 3D. It's like a. Voxel, isn't it? It's a pixel. It's a brand called Pixel Pals. Yeah.

Oh, I see. Okay. It's a pixelated 8 a brand called Pixel Pals yeah oh I see okay it's a pixelated 8-bit Sonic tapping his foot I think it's 8-bit Sonic tapping his foot which I like even better

and he's like all pixelated it's about I'd say sort of 6-7 inches high and you can stand it

up on your desk does it light up yeah it does does it yeah turn it on it looks even better when you light it up on your desk. Does it light up? Yeah, it does. Does it? Yeah, turn it on. It looks even better when you light it up. This is beautiful. Better get the price right then.

Oh, my God. I love it. Can I just say this record is on Tug Records. No one noticed it, so I just wanted to say that. Wonder Man on Tug Records. This is like, okay. So what I'll say is this before you go any further.

Okay. Right. It is from the Digitizer set. I wasn't allowed to take it. The price is valued on how much I saw a similar one in a charity shop

in Cambridge a year ago. And what was the one in the charity shop? It was a link. Okay. I like this more. So it's a fake price for a different item.

But I'm judging on that price. So it would be fair. If I was on like a charity shop, I'd expect to see it for similar. So we're looking at a second-hand price for a different item. But I'm judging on that price. So it would be fair. If I was on like a charity shop, I'd expect to see it for similar. So we're looking at a secondhand price for this. This is the only outlier. I love it. Yeah.

Okay. I'm like, what I would pay for it is probably different to how much the link was in the charity shop. Because I would pay like everything I have. I think in the charity shop, four pounds.

Not enough. No, £4. Not enough. No, never enough. Never enough. True guess. You know what? Not a bad guess. I'll go higher on that. I love it.

I'll say £5.50. £5.50. See, he bounces around. You won it, don't you? Finally. You won it. Finally. Not much to it

but it is a beautiful thing. I've also got another one. I've got a Mega Man one which is adorable. I'm not a big Mega Man fan but it's a lovely little lamp. What a lovely is 8-bit isn't it that looks like the 8-bit sprite i think they've scaled it differently so it fits the the the molding that's the thing he does when he taps his foot and he's waiting for you to play the game it's how it'd look if

you put your face right up against the screen yeah yeah because it was only in 320 by 320 or something yeah well there you go and here's the last item today. Okay. This is the special one, I like to think. There we go. It's a Tiger Electronic Games Sonic the Hedgehog. I mean, I don't want this at all, because, like, here, get the sound effects and everything. Start. Let's go.

I'm glad it's got batteries. Basically, if you were... Is that Sonic music? No, I think that was turtles in the hardship. I can't see him. There he is. That's horrible. Oh, Buzz Bummer. If you were a parent, no wonder you fucking hatedtles in the Horseshoe. I can't see him. There he is. That's horrible. Oh, Buzz Bummer.

If you were a parent, no wonder you fucking hated these in the day. Yeah. Jesus Christ. And this is the game where Sonic is in the middle

of the screen, but his legs move to give you a sense of running and then creatures appear and you jump. Off. Why wouldn't it turn off? Yeah, there we go.

Turned it off. Okay, basically, guys, I mean, everyone who's listening will know this Tiger Electronic Games were they started coming out in the 80s didn't they

and it's a very the LCD numbers on a watch they found a way that they could do that

with different sprites it's quite ingenious but it makes the games virtually impossible to play and this is a Tiger version of Sonic. They're like basic Game & Watch games. Game & Watch, yeah.

They tended to be quite, at times, ornate. The Zelda one I've got, I've got a Zelda clam-shaped LCD game. And there's a lot of gameplay to it. You do have to explore Dungeons, collect weapons, fight dragons. Donkey Kong, man. And Donkey Kong, again. Really? So it's playable? Because I've never found a Tiger electronic games that was no the nintendo ones not all of them but a lot

of them were fantastic as you might they came out before the nest didn't they game yeah yeah yeah what was his name mr watch or something mr game and watch is his name who's a character you can open in smash brothers yeah and it's beautiful so yeah that whole character and obviously they transferred those LCD games to the Game Boy Advance when they did the Game & Watch packages where they revamped them and made them look pretty

I mean why would you want them? I think that you've got a Nintendo Game Boy Advance you don't need to play you don't need to play those games you don't need to play Game & Watch it might be the style do you think a lot of people

wouldn't buy them? it's an easy fiver isn't it? but these Tiger are very much the cheap end of that market Tiger was disgusting the same technology essentially isn't it? they did oh they really went there they did you know remember the Virtual Boy These Tiger are very much the cheap end of that market. Tiger was disgusting. The same technology, essentially, isn't it? They did.

Oh, they really went there. They did. You know, remember the Virtual Boy? Yes. So Virtual Boy was Nintendo's idea of virtual reality. It was a pile of shit. And I think it didn't even last a year in stores before they were flogging it off for like 30 quid.

But you tried it for Digi, didn't you? I played it on Digitizer, yeah. Did it give you a migraine in like five seconds? It didn't. But it's not fun to play. No. Because you can't find a comfortable place to play. No.

The table depends on the size. But put some boxes. And then you're in this weird position where you've got to put your hands around the back of the console with the controller. It looks like a robot or something. It's horrible. My friend had a barbecue. It looked like one.

All the games are basic as fuck. The only two ones that I enjoyed were, no, there's only one I really enjoyed, and that was Wario Land. Wario Land was fantastic but everything else was pretty much elaborate game on watch games and it's all in red and black

isn't it yeah I was just thinking did you just say someone had a barbecue that looked like yeah they had a barbecue and I was shouting at it

I was pointing at it going your barbecue looks like Virtual Boy and no one at the barbecue I was the I only knew my friend and no one at the barbecue knew what Virtual Boy was so everyone was just like Katie your weird friend is shouting at the barbecue i i was the i only knew my friend and no one at the barbecue knew what virtual boy was so everyone was just like katie your weird friend is shouting at your barbecue

um i bet twitter went crazy for it uh that's the picture of it but um tiger did a version of virtual boy where did oh they did our zone that must be even worse. Oh, it was... I've never seen one, obviously, but you sort of put it over one eye and... It looked like a Borg add-on. It was like a monocle. It was like a thing you wore on your eye and a little kind of glass visor,

and it would shine. Like Google Glass. Yeah. And you looked just like a bell-head wearing that. And it beamed the very, very simple... You know when you see Tiger Games and they're all basically forwards and backwards and kick, or left and right and car games.

Yeah. Very basic. That was all it was. It was fighting games. Did Tiger do the Game.com? Was that them? Oh, yeah, I think they did. Game.com?

Game.com was like the pre-3DS thing. But that came out in the... That's probably only 20 years old. That's late 90s, I think. It was, yeah. Virtually unplayable. It was like a touchscreen gaming thing. And it sounded like that.

And it had brands on it as well. It did have... It had Sonic Jam. And Resident Evil 2. Yes. Fucking random stuff like that. Unplayable. Stuff it couldn't promise.

Possibly deliver on the promise. Just do Solitaire and a Diary, mate. We're chuffed with that. It wasn't even good at that as well. You could go on the internet with it. You could plug it into a modem and look at your emails. Imagine. Fucking imagine.

I was going to check my emails. Give me half an hour. Well, yeah, and you can only plug it into a modem. So it's not like, I'm on the go. I can check my emails on the go. That was back in the days when I had my first internet phone. You could only do WAP. There we go.

I was on WAP. I tried to load one thing and then just never used it. 2004 Olympics. I'm obsessed with the Olympics. I had to go away for somewhere then just never used it ever again. 2004 Olympics. I'm obsessed with the Olympics. I had to go away for somewhere for two days when I was 19. I was on the WAP just reading all the articles about the Olympics going, see, it's fine. Don't need a television.

Me and my phone building. Right. That's the last item then. So what would you want to give that a price for? I mean, this is more like a price from you. You can revise this. You have to give me £20 for even having to look at this. Okay.

I think you pay. Did you get that in a charity shop? This is the most expensive one. And this was bought online. See, maybe it's collectible. It's the most out of everything here. Yeah. But it's not crazy expensive.

No. I spent £50 on it. Okay. I will say that when it comes to these items, no one costs me more than a tenner, which gives you a lot of wiggle room. But so far, you're doing all right on price guessing. I will say that.

£9 for the Tiger Electronic Sonic game. You're saying £9 for that. For the Sonic Pixel Pal, you said £4. £4.50. For the Wonder Man, you said £4.50. £4. £4. Yeah, that's what I said.

£2 for Wonder Man. £2 for Wonder Man. And for the Sonic Marshmallows. £4. Yeah, that's what I said. £2 for Wonder Man? £2 for Wonder Man. And for the Sonic marshmallows? £5. Now, I'm going to throw you a lifeline here. Okay. It's too much. Really?

So I'm going to leave it like that and let you revise your final opinion. I think you paid 50p for Wonder Man. 50p for Wonder Man? No, I mean the marshmallows. The marshmallows were less than £5. Yeah. I think they're £2.50. All right, £2.50.

So that means your overall score today is £2.50. Yeah. £8.50. I want this pixel thing so much. £9, £10, £11, £12, £13, £14, £15. £9, £10, £11, £12, £13, £14, £15, £16, £17, £15. It's a nice item. £17.50 is what you say so far, right?

I'd pay triple that just for the pixel pound. £17.50 is what you say so far, right? I'd pay triple that just for the Pixel Pal. £17.50. Eli, what would you like to say? Hello. Sorry. Sonic the Hedgehog marshmallows with jam filling. Yeah. I go three.

I'm going to stick with three. He's going to stick with three. Okay, go on. Next, Wonder Man the single. Wonder Man the single. I said £1.75 originally. Yeah. I'll go for that stick with three. Okay, go on. Next, Wonder Man, the single. Wonder Man, the single. I said £1.75 originally. Yeah. I'll go for that.

£1.75. What was the next item, Paul? Sonic Pixel Pal. The Pixel Pal is the wild card, isn't it? It's the wild card. It's the wild card. I've been fair and I've not been crazy. No.

I think that was a fiver. £5. And finally, for the Sonic LCD game. I'm going to go for £7.50 for that one £7.50 Which means your overall score is £7.89 £7.89

£7.95 £7.95 It's great when you have to add it up And we just sit here £7.95 So, okay, so Altogether you say the total amount is £17.25

Right? Really? Yes Okay Suze says £17.50 Right? Really? Yes Okay. Sue's says £17.50 We're very close I can now reveal

what the final results are and what the final price is on all the items Sonic Marshmallow was £2 So Sue's was a 50p out, as was Eli in many respects You were a quid out Wonder Man, Sue's was a 50p out As was Eli in many respects You were a quid out

You took three, okay Wonder Man, Sue said two, you said £1.75 The actual price was £1.50 I'll get one point for that Sonic Pixel Sue says £4, Eli said £5 The actual price was

£5 on the nose Three points, I've scored three points. We're not playing that game though, are we? I don't know what game you're playing, Paul. You have a mate. But I tell you, I'm having those points. Alright, fine. That's the first time I've got something on the nose in a year and a half. I'll give you it.

Right, and finally, the Sonic LCD game. Yeah. Oh, Sue said £9. Yeah. Eli said £7.50. Well, Sue said nine. Yeah. Eli said £7.50. The actual price was £10. Really? Which means the overall price

altogether was £18.50, which means today, Sue's, you have won today's showcase showdown. I can't believe it. You're taking home the Pixel Pal, the LCD game,

right, said Fred, and whatever's left of those horrible marshmallows. I can't wait to put everything but the PixelPal in the bin. I'm going to treasure everything. Yeah, you better. These are such great additions to my collection of Sonic memorabilia, which is all in my head apart from this stuff now.

All right, good. Well, at least you've got something now you can put on a shelf and make into a shrine. Yeah. Maybe some kind of thing. That's it, we can light up. The PixelPower will... Good. Well, at least you've got something now you can put on a shelf and make into a shrine. Yeah. Maybe some kind of thing. That we can light up. The pixel power will...

I walk past it on the way into my house and sort of do finger guns. Hey, buddy. You can put it and light it up and then bow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And salute. Oh, I will. Does Sonic have a catchphrase? Depression's no good.

Is that what he says? I don't know. He never said that that but he thinks it he thinks it all the time because he has to keep the smile on even inside it's a pain he lives in a dystopian

nightmare well I'll just end by saying this segment you did very well thank you certainly for a first timer really yeah very good pricing

I've been to a lot of charity shops yeah well you seem to know your stuff so round of applause thank you I got three points you did get three points

and you were 25p away yeah from like if you'd guessed 26p more than you guessed you could have walked over all this all of this could be yours

I'm going to have one more marshmallow great go for it alright see you after the sound effect everyone and now it's time for the very famous part of the show

I like to call... Yeah, Gannet's Golden Games. Gannet's Gannet's? I hate you doing that. It's the most appalling sound. Gannet's Golden Games! The facial expression does nothing for me. Honestly, mate, when we have guests,

I've been embarrassed to do it. I'll be honest with you. There was something to see and hear. See, she likes it. I didn't say that. No, she didn't say that. Not one word of that. Paul, just one more time.

It's Gal Gal Games! I hate you. This concept, my life, and all the career choices I've ever made that brought me to this moment in time. But Paul, what are we playing on Gal Gal Ghost today? What are we playing? We're playing Tiger Electronics. No, we're not.

I will eat that if I need to. Gal's Gal Ghost. My pika will enjoy it. Gal's Gal Ghost. Don't fight me. Guys, this is this is not good content

because they can't see the punches rain down I'll take you out with your stretched stomach it's alright there's no evidence

if you're a brick muscle you'll be a walking apart for me my son your poor body is falling apart and you're trying to get into a fight

come on come down the end of this table then you're feeling a bit pokey, are you? He's coming back. Don't come back. He's going to fight you.

No! Where's the owl pellet? I need to keep it safe. I'm going to smear this pellet on you. I need to keep it safe like it's Leeloo in The Fifth Element. Yeah, you're looking suitors here. Or I'll mull you. Why did you smell it? It's called a pellet....Susazere or Almulia. Why did you smell it?

Don't... It's called a pellet. Do not smell it. Christ. You shouldn't have done that. Paul. This is... I'm sat here with...

You're falling apart because you've just smelled an owl pellet. You're falling apart because every time you laugh, your sides split, literally. God, yeah, literally. I've split the sides. I'm surrounded by sonic memorabilia. Yeah. This is an average episode of Cheap Show. Very average.

I'll tell you what, Paul. Yeah? We will not be dissecting that on the stream tonight because I will lose my lunch. Excellent. That's exactly why I'll be pressing for that to happen. Is it because that's your lunch? Oh, God.

Eat it. All the bones. Eat the owl pellet. It smells of spit. It's good enough for an owl. It's good enough for you. Eat it. Oh, God. Eat it. All the bones, all the shrew bones in there. It smells of spit. It's good enough for an owl. It's good enough for you. Eat it. Owl pellet.

Oh, I've really released the odour and now I can notice. I'm noticing it. It's coming through the box. Sorry, continue. I can't smell it. Good. I can't smell it as well.

That's why I sat this end of the table. I'm breathing through my mouth. That's why. Right. We're playing today on Gannon's Golden Games, a lovely game i've wanted to get my hands on for a while it's funny i'll say this going forward out of all the shows to be revamped for a modern era i'm surprised this particular show hasn't been revamped why agree

no i agree i this what we're playing today was a board game based on the hit channel 4 tv quiz show treasure hunt i never understood that treasure hunt. She'd just run around and then they'd say, oh, here's a map, and then I'd turn over. Challenge Annika was the spin-off, wasn't it? Challenge Annika was just shot at Annika's bomb as she built a hospice. Yeah, yeah. And just went up to people and go,

go on, do it for free. Okay, so she just had to corral people through the goodness of their heart to help her. Yeah, and they'd build a playground in a hospital. So it had a similar sort of approach as Treasure Hunt, but totally different game, really Well, that one was a game show, and the other one

was an altruistic piece of entertainment for Saturday nights And she'd be on the mobile phone in a lorry, and that's why people tuned in, because they were like, oh my god, she gets to see a mobile phone and she'd go, hello, I need 30 metres of PLY wood Do you remember that? And then they went, it's plywood, and she went were like, oh my God, you get to see it on mobile phones. She'd go, hello, I need 30 metres of PLY wood. Do you remember that?

And then they went, it's plywood. She went, oh, how embarrassing. Bless her. I like her a lot. She's got a big bloody phone. Yeah. So the idea was the contestants were in the studio with the guy. Oh, what was the name of the guy who hosted Treasure Hunter?

Bamber Gascoigne, is that him? It's someone like, it's a Bamber Gascoigne kind of guy. It could have been Bamber Gascoigne, couldn't it? Was it the guy from 15 to 1? Bambergastgoin did University Challenge, didn't he? Maybe I'm wrong. I don't remember Treasure Hunt. I only know of it.

You know of it. Yeah. There was a lot of shows like that. I'm slightly too young, but yeah. Yeah, there was a lot of shows like that. Thank you for that. I'm slightly too young, but you guys seem to remember it very, very well.

I don't know. With all the internet these days, I'm sure you haven't just unsubconsciously attached that memory to your own childhood and made it your own and defended it. I remember watching Treasure Hunter. I was six months old. I had to watch it on YouTube without the adverts back in the day. Then I tuned into some adverts on YouTube.

Yeah, there was this. There was obviously Challenge Amico. That was a bit different. But there was also, was it The Enforcer? Krypton Factor. Krypton Factor doesn't really count that is a soul course why doesn't it count?

it's a soul course because the format's different the Enforcer was like evil treasure hunt where you were on the ground running around there was a bad guy in a helicopter

chasing you with a laser gun that was cool yeah and that was not Linda Lusardi what was the lady who took over from Anika you know what I've gone down a rabbit hole

and I don't have that to the internet and now it feels like every pub conversation I ever had. Come on, someone wants to know. There'll be comments below saying, I can't believe you didn't know that it was actually... Why are you talking about this when you should have been playing the game?

Why are you talking about Tiger Electronic Games when everyone knows you should have just been talking more about Game & Watch? Why have you got women on the show? I hate them. They're scary. They're scary. I like it.

And that's why I've decided to never have sex with one, ever. Ever again. I shan't. I won't. And you never will. Bad luck, love. Right, so here's the rules. In the TV show, the contestants will be in a studio with encyclopedias and all kinds

of stuff, and there'll be clues which would tell Annika where to go to get her next clue, right? Right. Yeah, so with all that in mind they had an hour to do it. What happened if she found it? Well she won. There was like five clues

over the course of an hour they had an hour. She won but who benefits? Me. Me watching on YouTube. Yeah well you but everyone watching it in hindsight

so they can just skip past the boring bits like I do with Ball's Eye. Were there people who said people who win money though in the studio? Yeah they win a proper prize. And so are they helping

their members of the public are they? The host was helping two members of the public to do the research of the encyclopedias to find out the answer to the

clues to feed back to Annika in a helicopter to land and find the next one. We're going to land the helicopter now. The board game works in a similar fashion.

You'll be given a player piece and a dice right and also a clue card. I'll keep hold of these because when you're playing it with a group you just have each other's cards.

Because I'm not playing, I will just be in charge of the place. It's just a versus. And what happens, each clue tells you where you need to go, right? And then you get there. When you get to that particular place, you move on to your next clue card, right?

Every turn, you can either ask for a clue or you can make a roll of the dice and move around the board. For instance, if you think the answer might be York, not that it's on this map, then you can maybe move towards York. I've turned off. Yeah, I know.

I've completely turned off. Just play the game. I didn't get any of that, Paul. I don't know what I'm doing. The point is, in 20 minutes, we'll see if you can get a card or as far around the board as possible. They're all real places.

It's a realistic map. I know. Of the southeast. What colour would you like to be? There's blue, black, yellow, green and white. You've got East Anglia there as well. Blue, please. I'm reminiscing. Yeah.

It's really deep. Yeah, blue like Sonic. I'm going to try to be on any blue helipad here. Folkestone, please. Where's that? It's there. That one? Folkestone and Kent.

And what would you like red? Where do you want to start? What's that down there? Bournemouth. I don't like that. That's where I went to uni. I've never been back. Never been back.

Never been back. I went to work in Bournemouth. Should we go Norwich where I went to uni? Is there one in Norwich? It's nice. I like Norwich. There you go. And so per turn, you can either ask for a clue,

and that means you don't get to move around the board, or you can move around the board anywhere you want, square by square. So where's the treasure? Well, you don't know. You can either make travel on a roll and try and get there. Make travel? You can either travel in a direction, hoping that you're maybe going in the right direction,

or you can just get clue after clue after clue. I can't believe someone was giving this game away. You only get three clues. Yeah. For the whole game. Yeah. For fuck's sake. So shut up, both of you.

It's time to play Treasure Hunt. Thank you. Right, so roll the dice see who goes first or do you want to do ladies first and be a gentleman for our guest? Well, I

It's 2019 That makes me feel weird I know I'm going to put all this on you now You go Oh, it's alright Fine, I'll do it

Alright Four I rolled a four Right So Where are we trying to go? Well, you don't know yet. We've got to find the treasure.

How do you know if you've found it? Because I'll tell you. So it's on one of these squares, is that it? Yes, it's not a blue square, it's like Birmingham. You might want to get to Birmingham, so you've got to get to Birmingham based on the clues you're given. So you've rolled the dice, you've got a four. Now, before you do a move, I'm going to give you

your first clue, all right? So this is your first clue of where you're going to go. But she's decided to roll the dice and not have a clue. I didn't decide anything yet. I'm giving you your first clue before you do any movements.

No one's talking about that. Well, because you keep interrupting me, don't you? I don't understand. Feckless, hairy gobshite. Right, here we go. Here's your first clue. Looking at my pixel, pal.

Nearby lies the RAF jet fighter base at Conningsby. Conningsby? I've heard of Conningsby. Do you want another clue or do you want to roll a dice? You only get three clues. I'm going to roll the dice again. All right, okay, so now you can move anywhere you like on the board. I've got two.

Right, okay, so move anywhere you move anywhere you like on the board. I've got two. Right, okay, so move anywhere you want. I'm in the sea. I'm in the sea. All right, well, she thinks obviously where she needs to go is in the sea.

I'm in the sea, lads. All right, so Eli, you're in Norwich. Here's your first clue before you get to roll the dice. I'm just trying to remember where Conningsby is. Right.

Does it not exist anymore like Yugoslavia? It's a really old game. The place you're going to Try and look for Yeah Oh there's So we've got

You've got Yeah you're going on Two different journeys All these details Coming out After Shut up Ron Atkinson

Was once manager Of this university's Town football team Oh Ron Atkinson You don't know do you Fuck Right so

University town Right do you want to roll the dice Bournemouth I went there I'm going to give you A clue and a roll first As I've given to Suze What an awful game

Yeah Do you want the dice What do I do Come on You're meant to be You're meant to move Do you want to roll the dice Or do you want another clue

Before you move Five alright Do you want to move then I'm going towards A university town Alright Which had Ron Atkinson famously manage their university football team. Yeah.

Or their football team of the town. Great. Can I have a clue again? No. Oh, yeah. Ron Atkinson was once manager of this university town's football team. See? It's not the university football team.

No, the town. No, it's the town. All right. It's the same difference. Also, back then there were less universities. Back then when this game was made. So, by the way, you can just go to another heliport. 1989, it's 30 years old.

You can just go to another heliport? Yeah, I should have told you that at the start. Oh, fucking hell. And I'm in the sea. So you've got to roll your dice first before you get another clue. Right. This fucking game, man. Shut up.

Right, Suze, your go again. Now, you're in the sea, so you're going to have to go back to the heliport, but at least I'll say this. You don't have to get an exact number. Well. Unless you get one. I've got five. There you go.

Can I go to any heliport? You can go to any heliport from the one you need to go to first. So we're just disregarding dice rolls now? No, that's important. We're slapping off rules left, right and centre. When you've got to get to the town, you've got to roll to get to the town. You can't go by heliport or everywhere.

You can't just land your helicopter in the town centre of Exeter, can you? You can. A few people die. Exeter, that's a university town. It is. I interviewed there. What for?

A degree. Of? Script writing. Script writing? Turned it down. Went to do script writing at Bournemouth instead. Really?

I didn't know you could do a BA, is this, in script writing? It was 2003. On the clock, mate. What kind of didn't know you could do a BA in script writing. It was 2003. On the clock, mate. What kind of scripts? Films and plays?

Movies and TV. Oh, movies and TV. And as you are well aware, I'm a prolific movie and TV screenwriter. Oh, yes.

Right, I'm back on my helipad in Folkestone. How much longer are you playing this? 17 minutes. Yes, put up with it. God, have we only

been playing three minutes? It's so shit, Paul. Just play it. I don't know whether to roll the dice or what. It's up to you. You're going to have to

get to a helipad if you want to travel any further. How much did you pay for this? It was a fiver. Oh, man. It's not bad. I've got more joy

from that pixel power which costs the same. Is there a picture of Annika I can look at? No, there's no picture of Annika. There's loads on Google, mate. If you want, there's a picture of Annika I can look at? No, there's no picture of Annika. There's loads on Google, mate. If you want, there's a picture of a very beige middle class family.

Oh, that's classic. They all look like... No, they look like two couples playing it. They're playing Swingers Treasure Hunt. It's got the original... As we play Treasure Hunt, then it's time to swap spouses and cry. It's got the original Channel 4 logo up there. Yeah, you see?

It's an official licensed game. And there's. Yeah, you see, it's an official licensed game. And there's, I think that's Emmeline Hughes from the 80s. Oh, yeah. And Gloria Hunniford.

Oh, right, and they all get together and play Treasure Hunt. Yeah, they do. And that's Nick Kershaw. It's not Nick Kershaw. The pop singer Nick Kershaw.

Yeah, and that lady at the end is Wincy Willis. Wincy Willis? Yeah, they're all the 80s in one picture. I love it. That's not Nick Kershaw right there. It is, it's Nick Kershaw No it's not That's Sally Dunn Wincy Willis Yeah they're all the 80s In one picture I love it

That's not Nick Kershaw Right there It is It's Nick Kershaw That's Nick Kershaw No I've made it up Because I don't know

Who these people are 16 minutes Do you know what Nick Kershaw's song Don't let the I won't let the sun Go down on me That's not Nick Kershaw

Oh is it No No Nick Kershaw Never gonna give you No Never gonna let you down. Won't let the sun go down on me.

I won't let my son go down, et cetera, gag from when I was 15. I remember because this girl, Crystal, who was in my class, was in the video. 16. The Nick Kershaw video, yeah. Really? It's like a family in the video. He's going up and down the stairs. What a great music video that sounds.

Up and down stairs. Yeah. Crystal, I remember. Hold the dice and get to a helipad. 15 minutes to go. Four. Where do you want to go? To that helipad? Sure. Do you want a clue? Yeah. Alright, here's your next clue. Have a clue. Get it right. End the game.

United play at Abbey Stadium here. Do you know the problem with these questions? 80s football. Every single one? Is it Sheffield? It's like 80s football. They are, aren't they? Every single one. Is it Sheffield?

No, because that's up there. You can only go to the north-east of England, the south-east of England. It's also very south-east centric, isn't it? Well, you can turn it over and play on the other coast with Devon and stuff. You can? That's amazing. Oh, the south-west is on the back.

Yeah. Still very south-centric, isn't it? Yeah, to be fair. So there's your second clue No one in the North South divide What's it Abbey Crawley's on there

That's where I'm from United play at Abbey Stadium Here Right Suze what do you want to do Do you want to fly to another helipad Or do you want another clue I want a clue

Alright The Pilgrim Cottage No The Pilgrim College Here Has space reserved for visitors For its new world namesake What The fuck is that I'm more interested in the Pilgrim College here has space reserved for visitors for its new world namesake

what the fuck is that I'm more interested in the Pilgrim Cottage you know Pilgrim Cottage yeah is that what the

cult was called Pilgrim Cottage with me Daryl Sung okay alright erm I don't know

where that is can I go anywhere can I go anywhere you can go anywhere if you want to go to another helipad, you can. I think we've dispensed with this formality of the dice, haven't we, Paul? I've been in the sea already.

Yeah, let's just forget that. I'm going to go to Bournemouth. Oh! All the way down to Bournemouth. Yeah, I used to work in Bournemouth. Oh, yes, still a shithole. Where were you at Bournemouth? When?

What years? 2003 to 2006. Oh, I was there 2000 to 2001. You worked there? What were you doing there? I wrote for a video games magazine called 64 Magazine. The N64?

Yeah. For Paragon Publishing. In 2000, 2001 when it was finished. On its arse, yeah. It was like, what are we going to review this week? Didn't last that long, did it?

Yeah, absolutely nothing. There were hardly any games released for the system anyway, were there? They didn't release that many. I reckon it's... It's Derby, yeah. It's not Derby. It's Derby, yeah. It's not Darby.

It's Darby. Is that your cult leader? Sorry. I'll stop bringing it up. I really want to know. He's got Darfreedron. I tell you what, I had to have a shrine to him.

I had to put fruit in the shrine. No, you didn't. I seriously didn't. And you had to look at it and go, everything's made of atoms and nothing is real and that makes me happy. But he was a god, like,

was he like a... He was meant to be worshipped as a god? Uh, no. Okay. But you know, it's the same with all of these cults.

They go, I'm not a god, I'm, and then. Did he have sex with whoever he liked? No, I don't think there was a lot of that. So I lucked out,

honestly. Yeah. As cults go. It's well dark, so it's not like, you know, it's not like Midsommar, the thing you went to.

It could have been well dark. Oh yeah, or like that, what's the real cult? Children of God. My dad won't talk about it. Why not? Because he's so embarrassed. Did he have to eat a baby?

No. Did he have to eat a baby? Did he have to eat a fruit stuffed baby? No. It was all fruit and then you weren't allowed meat and stuff. It was quite strict. It sounds like you'd pay a lot to be in it. Did you have to give a lot of his salary to them? I'm not sure how much, but I don't think it was quite strict it sounds like you'd pay a lot to be in it did you have to give

a lot of his salary to them I'm not sure how much but I don't think it was that much but there was a lot of people hanging around the house

really what kind of people hanging around your house just people who were in the cult you know they were just coming in and out of your house

yeah to do what just hang out was your mother a recipient can we stop the game and just talk about the cult, please? I'll tell you what.

Here we go. I'm going to read all three clues out. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other one has to eat a bean. Right. Eli. Okay.

I'm going to read them out one at a time. So you've had your first two clues. So, Suze. Nearby lies the RAF jet fighter base of Coningsby. Do you know the town? Right. Eli. Ron Atkinson was a manager.

I know. I'm going to go for the motions. All right. So let me do it. It's fucking boring. You're making it more boring. You're boring. No, I'm not. Your attitude's boring.

You bore me. Your face, you're boring. This is quality content. United play at Abbey Stadium here, do you know? No. No, I've told you I don't. This is pure repetition. Right, I'll just skip to the last ones on each clue.

Do it. Suze, wrestlers named The Crab after this Lincolnshire town. Don't know. I don't know. Obviously. And Eli, this elite edifice of higher education stands on the River Cam. Oh, Cambridge. Yeah, there you go.

Oh, that's easy. It's Cam. Yeah. I know where that is. Where do you think yours is? What, the wrestler? Yeah. No, what's the wrestler's name?

The Crab Wrestler. Is he called The Crab? In the sea. He's a crab. I've been there. In the sea? I think she should get that. No, but the answer's Boston wrestler's name? The crab wrestler. The crab wrestler. In the sea. He's a crab. I've been there. He went in the sea. I think she should get that. No, but the answer's Boston.

You get a crab out of the sea. Boston. Boston crab. Oh, though, funnily enough. I went to Cromer and had crab. Have you had crab? Cromer crab. It's great.

Did Panto there. Look, I'll be honest. You did Panto in Cromer? Wow. Ate a lot of crab, mate. Was it good? Was it a good experience? It was all right.

Panto's Panto, isn't it? Who did you play? I was, what's her name, Alice Fitzwarren in Dick Whittington. And I had to come on stage. It was a children's panto, obviously. Had to come on stage and immediately do a sexy dance while Dick Whittington did some grinding dancing near me to Mr Bombastic.

That was the level we had. Did you touch him on his back? Touch him on his back? That's in Mr. Bombastic, isn't it? Is it? Touch me on my back. Romantic, semi-fantastic. The weird thing is, every time I think about that,

I don't think of Shaggy anymore. I think of Mark Lamar on a table in a 50s diner being pulled through the air on Shooting Stars. It's a great little moment so here's a question for you when you do panto you know the photographs

of the old pantos they have on the wall there's a checklist you can play bingo right right Operation U-Tree bingo yeah you almost

yeah frankly there is I did a tour for this thing called Psychic Science that ghost hunting show and you go to all these theatres around the UK and everyone has this wall of pantos going back every year.

Yeah. And all the same people turn up. Grumble Weeds, they're in there. Crankies, always there. Always, always. Dave Lee Travis comes up a lot, which I don't understand. He's a very multifaceted talent. Oh, he thinks that.

I bet he thinks that, yeah. He thinks, he just wishes he was an old Edmunds. No, he does. We did a show, a cheap, he just wishes he was an old Edmunds. No, he does. We did a show, a cheap show. Imagine wishing you were an old Edmunds. We did a cheap show edition where we read out an interview

from an old Top of the Pops annual. Oh, God. He is full of himself. Oh, I bet. Really, really. Apparently, he liked to prank the German production team of a TV show he was working on

by unscrewing the lens before they went to shoot. Oh, isn't he funny? That's what he said. He's like Val Kilmer when Val Kilmer was having his meltdown. What did he get up to?

Val Kilmer, he used to be a prick on set. It's why his career really stalled. He was going to be the biggest thing in the world. Absolutely huge. I mean, he was bad. I mean, he was in Heat

with Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. And Don't Forget the Saint. Don't Forget the Saint. And then he was in The Island of Dr. Moreau. With Brando, one of Brando's last roles. The story behind them. Have you seen the documentary?

Oh my God, Lost Soul. Was it a flop as well as a disaster? Oh, a complete, yeah. And it was expensive. Oh, that documentary's amazing. Lost Soul. Isn't it amazing? Lost Soul, everybody.

Have you seen it? No, is that about the island? It's one of my favourite, yeah. Which is a remake of like a 50s horror. Well, it's a book, isn't it? Is it H.G. Wells? Jules Verne? Jules Verne? It's one of those, isn't it? It's not Conrad, is it? I think it might be H a book, isn't it? Is it H.G. Wells? Jules Verne? Jules Verne?

It's one of those, isn't it? It's not Conrad, is it? I think it might be H.G. Wells. I think it is H.G. Wells. I don't know. But either way, it's based on that. And there was a version made, I think, in the early, I want to say 40s. It's an old black and white one, isn't it?

Yeah. But yeah, I know the story's about like Brando turning up and saying, I've got this little fella. He can be in the film, right? And it's like, well, no, not really. No, he could be in the film. He's got like well no not really no he could be in the film because i'm marvin brando right i was like all right and there's brando he had a little person with him yeah they were friends or what he'd found him hadn't he yeah his whole career was an ass

just an ass yeah but it's quite funny he's quite likable from the documentary like he arrives on set and he hasn't learned any of his lines and the girl playing no no and the girl playing his daughter is Farooza Balk who obviously was like so excited to work with Brando and she went

could we get together and maybe discuss our characters he went I don't know if we need to and she went I'd love to

look over the script with you and he went to her oh darling I didn't read the script he said this movie is terrible. Don't worry. Everything you're doing is great.

He does an English accent in the film, which is so exceptionally good. He, like Brando, could do the most incredible English accent. Obviously effortlessly because he wasn't going to put any effort in. No, did he think he was making like Apocalypse Now 2 I think he thought

I'm being paid a million pounds to be here he got his body double so he decided his character should be completely painted white

so that his body double could do most of the work and he had an earpiece with the lines with his assistant reading them from his trailer and on one take

he just interrupted the scene by going damn it I told you not to act to his assistant. Oh, wow. And Val Kilmer probably had a similar story. He was like, I get to play with Brando.

And then Brando came around and said, I will be doing scenes with you at the same time. He was a real shit to Brando. He was an arrogant pig for Kilmer. And then the two of them hated each other. The documentary is amazing. I'm going to check it out. I think it's on Netflix.

It was on Netflix. Maybe it's on YouTube. to check it out. I think it's on Netflix. It was on Netflix. Maybe it's on YouTube. Maybe it's on YouTube. Maybe it's on YouTube. Maybe it's on Vimeo. You just don't know. Dailymotion. Dailymotion.

Not around this part. It's where I watched the whole of Frasier recently. But what did you do for fun in Cromer after the show was finished? We drank a lot. Ate crab sandwiches? A lot of crab. We were actually in Sheringham, which is the neighbouring finished. We drank a lot and then... Ate crab sandwiches? A lot of crab. We were actually in Sheringham, which is the neighbouring town.

Yes. Anyway, have we gone for enough time? Is the game over? Five minutes left. I was enjoying the panto tour. We haven't talked about panto before. Okay, well, that's cool. I just thought there'd be elasticity to this.

This is the driest of dry. This is one of the driest games. Yeah, there's like nothing. Right, okay. Where was I meant to end up? Where's my treasure? Yeah. Yeah, there's like nothing. Right, okay. Where was I meant to end up? Where's my treasure? Yeah. Boston.

We're Bostoners. America? It's not even on this fucking map, mate. No, no, no. There is a place called Boston. I was on the right track when I was in the bloody sea. I don't even know where Boston is. I imagine it's on the coast.

I thought, yeah. I bet there's people listening in Boston now being upset. You bastards! I'm in Boston! It's got a famous church. Yeah. So you've got a clue for. You bastards! I'm in Boston! It's got a famous church? Yeah. So you've got a clue for me then, Pipe. It's nearby Oxford Church

saw the first performances of Benjamin Britton's Noice Flood and Curlew River. Come on, you know this. Oh my God. They're not even well-known, Benjamin Britton.

This musical town is north-east. This musical town is north-east of Suffolk's capital. North-east of Suffolk's capital? Yeah. town is north east of Suffolk's capital north east of Suffolk's capital yeah what's the capital of Suffolk

I don't know is it Ipswich Ipswich Suffolk the capital it's a good old joke that was another joke don't worry

at least no one laughed and I wasn't in pain we need to punch that up Paul when I was in Panto walked past oh my god we walked past, oh my God, we walked past some youths

on a bench when we went shopping and they were sat there and one of them went, what's the capital of China? And his mate went, there isn't one. Right, I'm not playing

Treasure Hunt no more. Flip the board. It's all over the floor. I'd flip the board, but then I have to pick it up and my back hurts. You flip it then. Flip the board. Yeah, fuck over the floor. I'd flip the board, but then I have to pick it up and my back hurts. I'll do it. You flip it then.

Go on, flip the board. Yeah, fuck off. Fuck off, Trezor. Rebel yell. Fucking shit game. Paul looks to Brexit. The winner tonight was Brexit. Again?

Keeps bloody well. Poor Paul, look him. Poor Paulie. Shut up. And that's the end of another cheap show. Any final thoughts, Eli? Great. Oh, the alarm's gone off.

Is that the... What? What? The oven alarm for the veg that you want my mum to stick things into? No, but wow, yes. Bake a cucumber, mummy. Well, what would you do if I asked my mum to send me a picture Wow yes Bake a cucumber mummy Well Take that Mary What would you do

If I asked my mum To send me a picture Of my mum putting Like a vegetable In the oven I wouldn't be in Trip Paul Because it's just

A joke thing That I do Oh I see You wouldn't go home With it What's wrong with his mum No there's loads Wrong with her

Mrs Gannon Mrs Gannon The old harpy So that was Cheap Show This is the end of it We'll see you next week If you want to follow us On Twitter I'm at Paul Gannon Mrs Gannon the old harpy so that was Cheap Show this is the end of it we'll see you

next week if you want to follow us on Twitter I'm at Paul Gannon show Eli is

I'm Eli Snoid which is spelled E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D and you can follow us all at the

Cheap Show pod the Cheap Show pod my brain went into fart mode Suze if people want to follow you

where can they find you online S-O-O-Z-U-K mode. Suze, if people want to follow you, where can they find you online? S-O-O-Z-U-K on Twitter, Suze UK. And yeah, that's that. Fair enough. Oh, follow my mum at Anna Kempner. Why? Because I think it's really funny that she keeps getting followed by people with very niche interests that I share.

And she goes, I've been followed by another very strange man. If you want to email us anything you can, thecheapshowatgmail.com. We're on Instagram, we're on Tumblr, we're on Facebook. Just look for Cheap Show Pod, you'll find the information there. And our PO box, you can find the information on our website, which has pictures and videos to accompany this episode. That is thecheapshow.co.uk. And that's all. Thank you for being our guest today.

Thank you for having me. And me and a pixel pal are going to go solve a crime I think you should I don't want to see pictures of said crime being solved we're going to commit it

then solve it because we know who did it it was us if it's good cop bad cop who's which I'm good cop

and Sonic look at him yeah he's bad that's the bad cop look you know it you go I don't speak and I go

hey I don't want to leave you with him I don't want to have to leave you alone with him so you might as well speak I can't control him don't speak. And I go, hey, I don't want to leave you with him. I don't want to have to leave you alone with him. So you might as well speak. I can't control him. Don't let me let him off the leash. You don't want that.

What was that? I'm squinting so I can see him more clearly. Oh, good. Oh, I see. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's pixelated, isn't he? Because it's weird. Half his eye is sort of sticking around the corner.

I'm pretty sure that is 8-bit. Well, that's the big problem with Sonic in a nutshell. His eyes. Apparently the big bullseye. He's got one big eye. Yeah, just one big eye. Like Cyclops, Soncops. So that's why they changed it for the film,

because the film producers thought, hey, we're going to make it edgy and trendy and youth. But look, on that point, they are actually reshooting, aren't they, so to speak? Redesigning the Sonic, yeah. So what's he going to look like? He's going to look like that, do we think? I mean, I think that the design of Sonic was not going to be what made or break that film having watched the trailer.

Yes. It looks very... It looks shocking. I think that Jim Carrey's Robotnik is going to annoy me in about two seconds because it's certainly in the trailer.

Yeah. Very big long improvised riff from Jim Carrey in the trailer. It's terrible. And it's that whole... It's that 90s thing. The thing is, this feels like it's a 90s film that's been made 20 years too late. Yeah. It's terrible. And it's that whole, it's that 90s thing. The thing is, this feels like it's a 90s film

that's been made 20 years too late. Yeah. It's got that Inspector Gadget feel to it. Well, why wasn't there a live action Sonic movie in the 90s? Probably because they couldn't

figure out a way to do it. They weren't doing many sort of video game crossovers because the Mario one. No, Super Mario Brothers was such a flop, wasn't it? Yeah, I think that probably scared off all of Hollywood,

didn't it? And all the other films that came out at that time. Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter. Mortal Kombat that came out of that time Mortal Kombat Street Fighter was the only successful one Mortal Kombat

maybe Resident Evil actually on reflection because that whole franchise Mortal Kombat probably did great on home video yeah that sounds

about right but if nothing else we look forward to the Sonic the Hedgehog movie here because why not something to talk about isn't it

we've got next year the Mario films coming out as well by the people that's an animated movie good they should have animated Sonic movie they did an Angry Birds movie

which is for children the message of the movie is if someone new comes to your town you don't trust them you're probably right it's good it's a good message

it's a good message and there's also a Minesweeper movie that was called Hurt Locker it was very good. Have we rambled? We've rambled.

Let's say goodbye, everybody. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye.