CheapShow - Ep 155: Look-In '88 Rools OK Too

Episode Date: November 29, 2019

Oh No! We're going full on nostalgia this week, all because Paul found a beautiful copy of the "Look-In Television Annual 1988" in a Brighton charity shop! So hold on tight as we dive into the sights and sounds of the 80s, with a few dips into the 1970s for good measure. The cheap chaps take on Tomy toys, comedy novelty hits, flop Hollywood movies and the celebrities from the age of excess. As ever, Eli delivers a Tales from the Dance Floor and a "legally binding" agreement to do the Sauce Report. Oh, and some crap new characters too! And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-155-look-in-88-rools-ok-too If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow

I think you can do the intro this week when you're ready. Well, hello there, everybody. It's Eli. Silverman. Here's Paul with me. We've, we've, uh, we've, uh... Paul, say something! Say something.

We've made our way, Paul, you and I, into the House of Pickles again. Come round there. Round Mount Groppants, the restructured mount grot pants past a little hair mount I call it hair mount it's a new feature and we've made our way over to the recording area of the house of pickles it's like a very it's like a picnic area in a lot of ways, isn't it? An open space surrounded by mountains. That kind of picnic thing. Paul?

My intro's not going very well. Paul? What? Then you come in with like... No, no, I was letting you have it. You often complain that I interrupt you when you're doing your thing and you want to discover the moment and whatnot. Willy willies.

But. I'm not even going to say anything about that. What? What? Willy willies. You're three sentences in. I know. I'm broken.

You tried. You tried. You tried. We're both trying. We're trying, everyone. Yes, we're very trying. We're trying. Yes, You tried. We're both trying. We're trying, everyone. Yes, we're very trying. We're trying. Yes, we are.

You're very trying. Well, yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast for your ears. I feel safe. Yeah. Make me feel warm. Where we go through the bargain bins, the charity shops, the thrift stores, the jumble sales, the discount bins of Great Britain and bring the treasure of the trash to you in this of Me A Little Podcast.

I am Paul Gannon. And I'm Eli Silverman. Hello. What's this? That's my gobbets going. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's my gobbets.

Just before I play the intro music, I'd like you to explain why me saying what-what-willy-willy is madness, but what you just did there wasn't... I'm into it, man! You're globbit! That's even better, globbit, yeah. Right, welcome to Cheap Show. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles.

It's just a fact of Cheap Show you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Cheat Show It's the price of shite Paul Gannon Eli Silverman Welcome to Cheat Show And I go and I nuzzle What a wonderful start to the episode

Oh, we're still going Yeah, we're still going I don't stop Paul, it's great to see you It's great to see you How are you, my best friend? I've had a... What, you don't think you're my best friend?

Paul, can we not do this now? Do you want to step outside the podcast so soon? No. All right, then. I know the ladder's down. I noticed that. A ladder is always down. Why is it always down these days?

Just saves a lot of time and money. What, if we had to step out? Yeah. And go on the roof? Yeah. Roof of the podcast. Special effects and sound effects and editing. Just if I bring it down, I don't have to do any sound effects. I was up there. Last time had to step out? Yeah. And go on the roof. Yeah. Roof of the podcast. Special effects and sound effects and editing. Just if I bring it down, I don't have to do any sound effects.

I was up there. Last time I was up there. Yeah. I was looking over the edge. Yeah. The edge of the podcast. And what did you see? There's a black void on every side, isn't there?

What? Hang on. The podcast is like a train. It's train shaped when you look at it from when you're on the roof. I've never actually had a look. Because when I go up there. What do you do when you go up there? I just tend to read a book.

I don't really look out. You sit outside the podcast reading a book? Yeah. When I finish editing, I just sit up there for a bit. Oh, okay. Why, what do you do? Well, I had a little wander down the segments. What does this podcast look like from the outside?

It's like a train floating through a black void. How long have we been here for? I don't know. I'm frightened. Whatever, man. What have we got coming up on the show? Ah! You know what it is time for?

Stop banging it on the mics. I'm not banging it on the mic. Next to the bloody recording equipment. You could put it on the floor just as easily. It's my tea. Not just as easily. Let's be honest. No, because you're fat and out of shape.

That would be painful for you to do. You fat-headed cunt. Yeah. Thank you. Fuck you. because you're fat and out of shape so that would be painful for you to do you fat headed cunt yeah thank you fuck you you took the words right out of my mouth you stump handed

cunt goblin oh nice I like that one what else are you I'm a fucking uh Robert Spaffin what's the one

Dirtmonger that's good isn't it Dirtmonger Dirtmonger yeah you're a Dirtmonger you are a Dirtmonger it's something weird, isn't it? Dirtmonger. Dirtmonger. Yeah, you're a dirtmonger. You are a dirtmonger. It's something weird about you,

because before we do podcasts, we have nice civil conversations about this, that, and quite often the other. But then as we get close to recording, it's like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing. It's like you go, out the corner of my eye, you'll just go,

and then you'll do something weird, and then you'll laugh uncontrollably, and then by the time we start recording, you're like a monster. Well. It's like you've changed from Mr. Eli J. Silverman Esquire to Dirty Mucky Spoff Goblin. Right.

Do you know what it is time for, though? Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. It's the Sauce Report. Thank you. Thanks for joining me, Paul. Yes, in the Source Report.

I have received the legal papers, and as a result, I will be accepting all Source Reports from now on without question. Well, it is the will of the people. It is the will of the people. The fact that we had to get litigious with this just demonstrates your bad faith.

But anyway, we're going to put that aside. Thanks for joining us. No, thank you. Do you have some source-related content? Absolutely not. Because I have to say, full source report.

Yeah. Okay. At least two items on the source list. Well, let's get going, shall we? Because this is, quite often for me, the most interminable part of the show. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Chutney update.

No, that's not in the legal papers. It's actually a pickle. Source reports. It's not a chutney. Oh, then I have to step in. I only agreed to source reports. That's specifically what the legal people said. I'm sorry, but your lawyer dropped off.

No, no, no. If you look here on page 5.6. I've read it. There's no mention of chutney updates or pickle. It says redefinition of sauce. No. Sauces will include pickles, chutneys, condiments. No, it doesn't say that.

It says condiments, sachets. But it has to be sauces. It says soup base packets from out of noodles. Soup base packets from out of noodles are within the remit of the sauce report. It's a full sauce report. I'm going to let it go now, but you will be hearing from Jimmy Biscuits Esquire, my lawyer, quite soon. Hot mango pickle update.

Go on. No change. It's weird when you say things like that and then point at me as if I know what that means. That's because there's no change.

There's no change of what? On the pickle. On the hot mango. It's sat there by my bed and it's still there. Have you mentioned it before?

Yes. Last time on the source report. This is the type of fucking thing I mean. Right. Next to it, down here, we've got

pizza hot, hot dipping sauce. I haven't actually tried that. I reckon it's shitty. Yeah. And it'll probably go out of date soon. Wait, what have you got for us today, Tom? I was in the West End the other day, and I saw some oyster sauce on discount.

So it's cheap show related. Thank you, Eli, for including a cheap item. Oyster sauce. Thai taste. So this is Thai oyster sauce so this is thai oyster sauce right you can use it for stir fries marinades and dips paul what kind of dips the ones where i slather my whole genital set in can you please just once at least do something with your ass you know it doesn't have to be genital or ball bag or shaft.

Well, for dipping it does. It's hard to dip your ring into something, isn't it? That's why. I'm thinking of the actual physical constraints. You could take a cotton bud, dip it in the hot sauce, pull apart your bottom cheeks, and just slowly bathe the anus with the hot sauce on the end of the cotton bud. Into your arse pain?

Yeah. Would you like to go? No, I would not like to bud. into your arse pain? Yeah. Would you like to go? No, I would not like to go. Do hot arse report. No. You sure? Yes. The source report

is almost at an end so if you can control yourself. Alright, yeah. Yeah, oyster sauce, £1.95 which is a good price for that, of that quality.

How many millilitres or whatever they... Let's have a look here. 200. 200. Wow. And the thing is with oyster sauce you don't want to have a look here. 200. 200. Wow. And the thing is with oyster sauce, you don't want to buy a bigger bottle than that

because you use it once on some vegetables, very nice, you know, Chinese style veg. Just add it at the end. A little dash. Pure umami magic, really. But then you tend not to have something that needs it again for a long time. And you know what I mean.

So you might as well have a small one so you don't waste it when it goes out of date. Well, you just don't use it that often. I don't use it that often. So if I had a big bottle, I will only use a little bit before it all goes out of date. So you might as well have a small bottle so you're wasting it. Right. That's what I'm trying to say, Paul. That's what I'm trying to say.

And the last item on the Source roster today for Source Report is just something I picked up, Paul, that I just would mention. It's fucking great. Barbecue yakiniku sauce. That's very easy for you to say, but what is it? It is very similar to, what's that more famous Japanese sauce? Oh, the one they put on jerky. Yeah. Yaki.

Yaki soba? No, that's the noodles. Oh, God. It's like that. Curry maki. Yakiniku. Yeah. Yaki. Yaki soba? No, that's the noodles. Oh, God. It's like that. Curry maki. Okay. What is it? I said it all the time throughout the episode.

I know I can't remember it. Yeah. Teriyaki? Teriyaki. Thank you. Fuck me. Sort of similar to a teriyaki, but this has a hint of garlic. Okay.

And you can use it just to put it on meat that you've done, like pork. I had it on some pork. Yeah. say flavor explosion kaplowie umami umami so out of the two bottles you've got today what is your hot recommendation it would be my recommendation would be this it's a company called utaka barbecue yakiniku wow well there you go ladies and gentlemen i hope you like a small bottle because you get less waste. Great. And if you're interested, what happens with that? No one is interested.

With the hot mango pickle, whether there might be a little reduction in that next report or it might have gone up. I might have spooned some extra pickle into it. Right. I might be smuggling chutney into the room. What a horrible idea. Well, it goes on. I've got some smuggling chutney into the room. What a horrible idea. Well, it goes on.

I've got some smuggling chutney. Also. You want to see what I smuggle in my chutney? I think. Dog eggs. I've got cream and chive dip. Did you try and do. Did you?

You did. A little bit of Uncle Groggly. Tell him to leave. No. Please. No. It's the end of the source report. Cream and chive dip there, Paul. Oh. From McDonald leave. No. Please. No. It's the end of the source report. Cream and chive dip there, Paul.

Oh. From McDonald's. Sorry. I've got a source that's similar. It's called cheese and clive dip. Yeah, yeah, and what's in that? Cream and the spoff of a man called Clive. Does it have to be?

Do you have several Clives or is it one man? What? A couple of Clives. You've got a couple of Clives or is it one man? A couple of Clives. You've got a couple of Clives. Where were they kept? In a shed. Oh, yeah? Where's this shed?

I milk them. Right. With me mouth. Are they free to leave? Oh, no. They're right. They don't want to. I think Mr. Grumbly...

They're at me. They're at me. Mr. Grumbly, I refuse to call you uncle because I don't believe your activities are avuncular in any way. And I think if you've got something to say about, you know, holding people hostage as sex slaves so you can mouth milk them. Oh, it's all for the greater good, isn't it? Of what?

Your cream and clive sauce. Your cream and clive sauce. Disgusting. No, literally disgusting. Clive's source. Disgusting. No, literally disgusting. That's the end of the source report,

Paul. For today. Just trying to... Are you okay? No, I thought we weren't going to do this this week, Paul. Oh, I just have such a laugh. I have so much joy. It just brings me so much joy to be mucky. I'm sorry.

It's just so nice. Okay, good. Now it's time for Tales from the Dance Floor. Eli has brought yet more content to the show, so let's see where and indeed what happens on the dance floor tonight. Thanks very much, Paul. Yeah. It's been a while since we've done one of these, hasn't it?

This isn't much of one. I'm just trying to keep this segment alive. I was DJing last night. Yeah. I just started. Yeah? Yeah. I just started.

So what's your starting routine? When you get started, what's the first few tracks you play by and large? Usually stuff that I'm into presently, but that... Fits the remit of the club still. Also, and doesn't... Also isn't something that anyone would really be interested in. Certainly not a get-up-and-dancer. Yeah.

Just something pleasant, nice background. Just stuff I just want to play, but yeah. Yeah. But then you do have to build it. But you start just want to play, but yeah. Yeah. But then you do have to build it, but you start at nine when people are still eating. Yeah. And you're not,

you know, you're not trying to smash the dance floor. But I was in a different venue last night in Brixton and there, it's actually more of a, no one's eating upstairs

at that point and it's just a room above. It's like a gig room. Yeah. Above the bar, you know? Yeah. So it's a bit more sort of,

it was a bit more like pressure to play something that they danced to immediately okay the lights go down almost immediately and then it's like yeah

you're on yeah right but the manager did who I know from another venue yeah it was nice to see him

working there reassured me because I hadn't played this venue for over a year and he reassured you that what it'd be fine venue for over a year and he reassured you that what it'd be fine yeah

everything would be fine and was it yeah great what a great Tells the Dance floor let's move on he said to me

do me a favour you know it's nine just give it no you did not do anything like that you're talking about

real people who you're gonna libel you don't know what I was gonna say you can slander real people in my life you didn't know what I was gonna say do I do you you're gonna libel you don't know what i was gonna say you can slander real people in my life i was gonna say do i do yeah you was gonna say some say something about i was gonna say suck

him off yeah uh he said keep it mellow please do me a favor at first just keep it mellow okay and so you know that's always good to hear yeah so i was keeping it mellow like i say playing tunes that i picked up recently. Yeah. I bought some sort of stuff. You know, I'm always quite... Nice, mellow background. Sort of soul. Nice.

Soul stuff. Gentle. It's not really gentle. It was funky. Hard. Hard and funky, some of it. But, no, the volume I'm keeping, whatever. Okay.

It's for the venue. I'm just helping pad out the story. It's suitable for the venue. I'm just helping pad out the story. So some guy... So it still counts as content. Some guy at the front of this. Yes, thank you.

Some guy. This is the meat of it now. The meatus. That could be. You know what? No. No. Don't try and defend that.

Just move on. All right. Thank you. So there's a guy at the front of the stage. He's like, shouting at me. I can't hear him. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm like. So the sound guy's on the stage i go could you ask him what he wants yeah i'm like you know maybe he's asking when the band starts yeah something like that and he came back to me the sound guy and literally said he wants you to play september by earth wind and fire it's like 9 20 was he having it was he desperate to hear his one song and then go one song at 9 20 9.20, you know what I mean? So you could just...

I was like, tell him to fuck off. Obviously he didn't. No, because it's just like, oh, fucking you know, Mark. That's what you want to do. You want to go out, hear your one tune, then go... And then fuck off at 9.20, you fucking... What's that one that goes like September?

Do you remember? Yeah. That's the one, yes. It's a huge disco. It's a huge sort of disco hit. And I used to... Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

It's good. It's great. It's a great tune. And it was released just as a single by by itself that's how good strong the songwriting was at that time didn't come out on an album no that wouldn't have been a thing still it was a thing mid 70s yeah late mid to late 70s earth wind of fire he was just on such a roll the guy yeah morris white but what at that era though what was what was leading what was it the albums leading the singles the singles leading the albums? Like after a couple of singles, they get compiled into an album then released?

Yeah. Or it was like an album first and then they scattered? They were like an album group, Earth, Wind & Fire. Okay. But he had so much going on, so many tunes, they just said this is just a single and it was huge. Fine. And it's still huge nowadays.

But can't the guy just have a little bit of... What? Patience. Yeah, whatever. Just some class, man. Maybe he just wanted to get it of... Patience. Yeah, or whatever. Just some class, man. Maybe he just wanted to get it in early. He was so unclassy. Did he want it right then and there?

What? What's he trying to do? What's your fucking... What are you trying to do tonight? Are you trying to pull? You know what I mean? Are you trying to pick up a woman? Is that what you're trying to do?

Well, then you wait for the slower songs. Or the grindy songs. But he needs a song where he can go, I know this. I'm shaking. Yeah. To try and show he's cool or something. Or he needs a song where he can go, I know this, I'm shaking, to try and show he's cool or something. Or he heard it on a movie soundtrack. I don't know.

Sometimes I despair. Play that song from Bulgit Nights. Yeah. You know the song from Bulgit Nights? Yeah, yeah. I watched that film. But that becomes shorthand now. They don't even say the name of the song.

They'll say the name of the movie. So they'll go, play Dirty Dancing. Play Magic Mike. Yeah. Play Magic Mike. Yeah. Play Magic Mike. Just people revealed themselves so quickly. Play that one from

Cosi Van Tutti. Yeah, yeah. You know. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. What's that? I don't know if that's from Cosi Van Tutti. That's an opera.

Yeah. I was trying to lift. We need to lift it. Lift it. Above Spoffy Wanky poo-poos and stuff like that i haven't mentioned spoff in at least three minutes well i've been describing this tales from the dark is that the end of the story yes disappointed by yeah and then he shouted at me again yeah and i did the the slit throat sorry what someone killed him no i did the imagine

if you did that by accident like you just went and then the bouncer walks up and just snaps his neck why would he do that the bouncer wouldn't be just went, and then the bouncer walks up and just snaps his neck. Why would he do that? And then the bouncer sums up at you. The bouncer wouldn't be a good bouncer. No, but imagine he was, the bouncer was crazy.

And I set him off. Yeah, by doing this thing. It would have happened before. He would have seen that before. Someone else would have done it before, Paul. Someone else would have done it before.

And then he goes, people would know he wouldn't be a bouncer. People would know there's a problem. Maybe he was waiting. He'd be like, pulling their dick off.

Yeah, but maybe he was sitting there. He's ripped their fucking old dick off. No. Someone did the Roker sign at him. No, maybe. He would have done it before. Or someone would have just gone, tapped their head

and he would have gone over and nubbed their head. No, I'm thinking at this time of night, he's probably been quiet for him, but he's been stewing over the day. His girlfriend cheating on him. His money not coming through. He shouldn't have done this oh no he broke that what's going on the bar's never

getting on his nerves slowly but surely but don't worry eli's all right who's this dickhead bothering my mate eli oh what's all this oh what you want me to break his fucking neck all right yeah i'll do it then i'll fucking do it for you eli Eli. I'll walk over. This feels right. This feels right. Snap. Eli, that was for you. You, Eli. And I'm looking at you and I want you to say thank you.

And do you? No. And then what do you do? What do you do in that moment? I would call the police on my mobile phone. Yeah? Starts walking over to you? What do you do then?

I would actually try and get off. What are you doing, Eli? I did this for you. What are you doing? I'm running away from him. You're running away from him yes it's a bit cramped

at the DJ booth no there's a lot there's a whole crowd in there someone's already screaming no one's noticed the music's playing no one I have noticed

it's your time I don't go along with this narrative you've gone too far I'm not going along with this narrative you've gone too far he comes up to you give me the phone Eli no I'm just checking

just checking Twitter give me he doesn't know my name 999 is a Twitter is it He doesn't How can he know my name I can explain How does he know my name

I can explain How does he know me Everyone knows Eli He's the most popular DJ in the bar I told you I hadn't been there for over a year and a half Yeah they reckon How did they know

They heard of your legend This is Totally That's why he was so enamoured by seeing you This guy He was enamoured by seeing me Meanwhile there are people screaming The body's on the floor

What do you do What have you done Eli What have you done, Eli? What have you done? Nothing. I've done nothing, Paul. No more questions, Your Honour. Right. Can we?

What? You've ruined it. Why? You've ruined... You've had a fair go at ruining both my segments. Yeah? My opening little... Which one did I ruin best?

I think I ruined Source Report best. Let's just do the rest of the fucking show. Yay! Cheap show! over the bumps and through the zigzags. Zap, zap, racetrack! There's all the thrills, chills and whoops, spills of a real road race. Remember, Zap, Zap Racetrack needs no batteries or power, just two fast drivers. Zap, Zap Racetrack, from Berwick. Zap, Zap Racetrack! You can make a badge with the Big Badge Factory.

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What have you got there, Paul? Marty, we're going back to the 80s this week. We spent 20 minutes talking about everything but what the episode was going to be about, but we are today going back a little bit to the 80s this week we spent 20 minutes talking about everything but what the episode was going to be about but we are today going back a little bit to the 80s we're going to dive into a few things i've found at charity shops no games no little rules it's just a little grab bag of things i've got in charity shops that we can talk about that have a kind of late 70s 80s flavor now you know the more you kind of grow old and you look at that period of time. Yeah.

You know how they say, like, the 60s didn't really end until about 72, as a sort of cultural decade. And the 70s didn't really end until maybe 80, 81. But there is this sort of crossover. Late 70s, early 80s has its own vibe in itself, doesn't it? Do you know what I mean? That five-year period, maybe from 77 to 83, has a whole sort of, a real sort of... It was like disco and like fighting with punk and rock.

All of that. And new romantics coming in eventually. It was an interesting time in music. Because it was another time when a lot of music genres were melding and sort of like, similar to the late 60s, early 70s. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Ultimately, Stockacan and Waterman won that battle. But they came in sort of 83, didn't they? That sort of like similar to the late 60s early 70s yeah you know ultimately stockhaken and warn or waterman they won that but they they came in sort of 83 didn't they that sort of that sort of really cheesy uh corporate sort of electronic pop yeah really only started to kick in 83 all of that early electro pop stuff was kind of weird and experimental wasn't it and the the new romantics and all yeah yeah uh flock of seagulls all that kind of stuff yeah uh so anyway what we're going to start this segment off with they weren't very good though who fuck a seagulls no they only had that one song wasn't it what run away i'm talking more about like early human league and stuff that was oh yeah yeah yeah yeah what the majors boat group called yeah but that was kind of part of it. Yeah, but yeah.

Yeah. It's a strange moment in pop, wasn't it? Right. We're going to go and crack on because the segment... Have you even announced this object yet? No, I'm going to do it now. Do it now. So what spurred me to make this episode a little bit 80s flavoured was a few weeks ago,

me and my girlfriend went to Brighton. We went back to, what was it? Robber's Cove. What is it? You know what's really amusing? Smugglers Run. Complete inability to remember the name of that. Is it Smugglers Run? No, it's nothing

to do with pirates or smugglers. Buccaneers Cove. No, you're not trying that. Alibaba's Cave. Just try. Just look. Take a moment and try to remember what that name of that shop is. It sounds like, it's a word that... It's a two word, two syllable, one syllable.

Yeah, it's like a fuggler's bugger. Yeah, something's something. As in something's belongs to something. Bug... I don't know, just tell me. Snooper's Paradise? Snooper Snoopers Paradise Smuggler's Den Smuggler's Den is a better word than Snoopers Paradise

No it's not, it's got nothing to do with smugglers Been spending most of my life Living in a Snoopers Paradise Anyway You know it used to have a turnstile that shop Still does Yeah but you used to actually have to pay a quid to get in and then pay shitloads of money for a badge or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bit of a rip-off is what I'm saying. Can be a bit of a rip-off. The thing is, when we were there, yeah. It is an interesting shop, though. And if you're into old tat, it's just like... It's a paradise. It's a snooper's paradise.

Yeah, you can walk around and enjoy yourself, can't you? That's what it means, I guess. Yeah. Just put that together. Perhaps you will remember it now. Yeah, maybe. Odds aren't good, though, are they? No, they're not.

So we went back there and we had a little look around. Yeah. But on a shelf, what I'm holding fell down the back. So I reached for it and grabbed it. And it is a looking televisual annual 1988. Now, what this is, it's an annual, but it kind of sums up all the news stories of 1988. So it was like a kind of best of that year. Was Looking a TV mag?

Yeah, we've covered Looking before, way back when on the show. Yeah, it was purely, its focus was TV. It was a TV Times for kids. Yes. So it had schedule of kids' programming, articles, interviews, games. Pop stars.

Comic strips, facts. Yeah. All these kind of things. You loved it. I love it. I've got a nice little collection. I'd like to buy more. This is a nice item for the collection, isn't it, Paul? Well, before... I'll tell you

why I bought it, though, because it was expensive. You go there, and if you go to any other charity shop, a quid, maybe, for this? Yeah. It was £4. Yeah, it's because they know it's not a charity shop, is it? They're selling it as an antique rather than a piece of charity. Because it's a shared space, isn't it? Like, lots of people own that space. It's like a little shop, is it? They're selling it as an antique rather than a piece of charity. Because it's a shared space, isn't it? Like lots of people own that space.

It's like a little indoor market it works as, isn't it? Everyone has their own little pitch. So when you buy something from a particular corner of it, it's got a code or something that they put in. That means that seller. Yeah, and there must be some kind of system whereby the... They split the profits. Or something.

Or the owner of the actual building gets a share or something. Who knows? Who knows? But that's kind of the actual building gets a share or something. Who knows? Who knows? But that's kind of the weird operating system. So I was not keen to buy it for £4, but then on the front page, I was suddenly aware that I had to buy it. You had to buy it. And you're going to look at it and go, well, what's all this?

What are you looking at? This is a photograph of a TV studio. Yeah. And you can see the boom camera, sort of boom on a boom TV studio. Yeah. And you can see the boom camera, sort of boom on a boom coming through. Yeah. It's in some kind of like house set or something. It's sort of a house set.

There's a kitchen there and there's a desk. The scene they're filming, there's an actress sitting at the table. They're filming a scene in a sort of office. And you think, why is that so interesting to you, Paul? A sneaky, and I'll read what there's as caption as well, a sneaky look behind the scenes at Do It,

where Sheila Gilbey puts together her magazine. Find some fascinating Do It type things to do on pages 14 and 66. So, years ago, I vividly remember a program on children's ITV called Do It. It's about these people who put a magazine together, and the magazine is full of things you can do. So, you know all the statements of Blue Peter? Are they children who put the magazine together? No. It's not like Press Gang.

No, it's like an adult. So, it's kind of like half... Was it for kids? Yeah. It was for children's ITV. So, what was to appeal for kids about adults putting together a magazine? Well, think about it this way. Imagine the bits in Blue Peter where they build Tracy Island or they build a little gadget or Christmas decoration.

But with a kind of a narrative over it. Okay. Where people are trying to build a magazine every week and here's what they come up with. So it's sort of educational. Yeah. That's great. So I remember for years going, that show exists. I've got no, absolutely zero knowledge or recollection.

Absolutely fucking no one ever remembers this. And I've looked for it on internet. Not good. Nothing pops up. And I remember because Looking came with a free pull-out section one week that was a Do It special. And you pulled it out

and it was a Do It magazine with a logo from the TV show and loads of little things to do. What channel was it on? It was the ITV. So whatever your commercial ITV channel was. So I was like, this exists. No, it doesn't.

I remember even asking Pat Sharp about, does he remember Do It? And he was like, nope, don't remember it at all. Although it would have been about the same time. This is 1888. He must have known a lot about what was on TV at the time. Well, maybe. Because he was on TV. Was he a bit on the snort. Was he on the snorties

and the drinkies? No. Why, no? Come on, they all were. I don't know. Look, put it that way. I'm not about to right now say, oh, yeah. Hasn't he had his struggles? I don't think so. So I'm trying to make a drama out of the man who just... Well, you just imagine anyone who's still around will have sort of overcome some kind of crippling

alcoholism. I'm not saying he... Am I just cynical? Yeah, you are really cynical. But, you know, if you want to imagine Pat Sharp snorting a line of cocaine off a prostitute's arsehole... I do, I do. Then you do that. Why don't you pour your jasmine and gunpowder tea? Oh, lovely.

Oh, lovely. No, it's really giving me a nice alarm. So I bought this to just prove the existence of this fucking show. Do it. Brilliant. That's worth four quid. And if you go to another page here, look. Is this now the do it section?

There's a do it section. In this annual. It's a hardback. Yeah. You've said that, have you? Yeah. I'd love just to say about the cover. It's in very good condition, this.

Very good condition. Dare I say mint on card? No, it's not on a card. It is made of card. It's not even mint. Listen, if I'm. It's just in good condition. You know what I'm trying to do, Paul? It's just in good condition, Eli.

You know what I'm trying to do with my mint on card thing? Make it a saying or a T-shirt. Make it generally mean good condition, more generally, when you just describe any object. You could say, oh, she was gorgeous. She was mint on card. Yeah. No, she'd be new then.

That wouldn't be good. Maybe. That's like saying she's a virgin, which is just horrible. No one's thinking that. You thought that. Yes, I didn't. You just said that. No, yes, you did.

I was just thinking through the fucking logical. I was thinking through. She's mint on card. She's cool. She's in excellent condition. What would mint on card mean? She's in excellent condition. No, it doesn't though, does it?

Or he is in excellent condition. It means unopened. That person is in excellent condition. It means unopened. It means unopened. That's your weird interpretation. No, it does. Mint on card means unopened. No, because you can buy comics that are in brilliant

10.0 condition that have been opened and read potentially. And are they mint on card? Well, probably yes, because they actually have a backing card, don't they? And they're mint on it. Yes. They are actually mint on card. I hate this conversation. Give me back the app magazine.

It's in good nick, this looking. And the cover has got lots of boxes, a grid of nine boxes with stars of the day on. Now, should we go through these quickly, Paul? Let's go. We can come back to the do it. Don't worry. Yeah, we have to. I'm putting that.

We've got a lot to get through. I'm putting that in the Rolodex. All right. All right. In the Rolodex. In the cheap show fact box. We've got, from left to right, top row. Inspector Gadget.

Great cartoon show. Strong opening for that row. Next picture along in this grid on the cover of the Looking Annual. God, you dragged this out. Just read out nine names. No, I'm enjoying this, Paul. I'm enjoying myself. Can I? Yeah.

Am I allowed to? No. For once? Go on. At least I'm not losing my shit like a cackling maniac. I just want to apologise to everyone. Come on. Next box along.

Yeah. Is it going to be stronger or is it going to be weaker? It's Alf. This row is looking extremely good so far. Hey, I'm Alf. You've got Inspector Gadget, Alf, third box. Bit of a shop dip

in quality. Bobby Davro. Bobby Davro. And that's about the weakest box on the whole. No, actually, I can see what's coming.

This is like your, this grid, Paul, is like your dreams, your half fever dreams after watching Bullseye Marathon for 10 hours and falling asleep before in the morning. This is like what goes through your head. So onto the next row, we've got Annika Rice.

From Treasure Hunt. She's looking very nice there. There's a nice big segment on Treasure Hunt in that section. Next, this row taking a turn. Yeah, well, it depends, but I like them. Who's that, Little and Large? Cannon and Ball. Sorry, I always get them confused. Now, they're it depends, but I like them. Who's that? Little and Large? Cannon and Ball.

Sorry, I always get them confused. Now, they're the quality Little and Large, Cannon and Ball. No, they're not the quality Little and Large. They're just a good double act that isn't Little and Large. Right, okay. But why do I have those two double acts in the same box in my mind? Because the 70s and 80s were all kind of, how do we fill in the gap of Morecambe and Wise?

Yeah, but who else was there? It was as big as them. Cannon and Ball, all little and large. There was no one else, was there? So those are the two Ronnies. Two Ronnies, yeah. Who kept going for a while,

didn't they? Yeah, that's a good point. Fry and Laurie. In the modern era, whoever you had, Mitchell and Webb. Oh, yeah, I guess. They're more sketchy though,

aren't they, than an actual double act? Yeah, they're not really a double act. I don't see them as an act that... You know what I mean? They are not. They're more of a sketch duo. Thick and Bob is probably a great

classic. Sketch duo. I'd say Mitchell and Webb. Yeah. They're a sketch duo. Cunts. The third box in

this row is an athlete of some sort. Yeah. No isn't that Torval and Dean isn't it? Let's have a look. It's definitely

Jean Torval or what she's called. Hazel Dean. What are they called? Jimmy Torval and Hazel Dean. Hazel Dean. What are they called? Jimmy Torville and Hazel Dean. Hazel Dean, no. I'm pretty sure that's a singer.

Tell it to my heart. Tell it to my heart. Tell me I'm the only one. Is this really love or just a game? Tell it to my heart. That's good. That is peak 80s pop. That's a great... It is, isn't it?

Yeah. Do you know what? Actually, before we go any further, I did think, if someone had to say to me, if someone asked me... Isn't that Taylor Dean? Oh, yeah.

It's Taylor Dean. Taylor Dean. I think it's Hazel Dean is the one out of Torval and Dean, isn't it? I don't know. Well, I'm just explaining what did you want to say.

We're going off track already. We're bouncing around. I'm enjoying it. I'm immersed in nostalgia. What was I saying? About, you said, that makes me... We said it's great 80s pop. Oh, yeah. same we're going off track already we're bouncing around enjoying it i'm immersed in nostalgia was i saying about you said that makes me we said it's great 80s pop oh yeah i said if someone said to me who is the artist of the 80s not the best artist not like the most prolific artist not the richest like which epitomizes the epitomizes 1980s music. I thought there's only one person.

Who do you think it is? Give me one guess. Or maybe have a suggestion yourself. Like a singer. Are we talking about one singer? An artist, a singer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is the 80s?

Is it like Sunita? I'm thinking like worldwide. Madonna. Okay. My suggestion. Madonna is the biggest. Well, here's my suggestion. Phil Collins. Okay. My suggestion... Madonna is the biggest. Well, here's my suggestion. Phil Collins.

Yeah. If you play a Phil Collins song, or maybe even Genesis... It's extremely 80s. It's drenched in 80s. Especially that drum sound he made. You know, that whole... Yeah.

I just thought, yeah, you could play a Phil Collins song to an alien and go, there's the 80s, that's it, in three and a half minutes. There's certain Phil Collins songs that I just would never want to hear again, though. No, I agree with that. I really wouldn't want to hear them ever again. Yeah, I agree with that.

Susudio. Oh, fuck off. Susudio is awesome. Yeah, I love that. No, I was going to say, that's in the good pile. That's in the good pile. What's that one? Take a look at me now. Take a look at me now.

Take a look at me now. Yeah, yeah. I just, I don't need that. I don't need that. Just an empty space. Where's the magazine? Look it. Here we go.

So that's that row. Oh God, we haven't even got to the bit where I want to talk about doing it. Annika Rice. Another athlete. Little and large. And then we've got another athlete. Is that Sebastian Coe? Steve Cram or Sebastian Coe?

No, it's Coe. It's Coe. It's Cram. It's Steve Spam. Steve Cram, who Coe no it's it's Coe it's Cram it's Steve Spam Steve Cram who won some races didn't he was a British champion

then that is Five Star the whole of Five Star they were like massive for a year like the biggest thing in the world

for a year or two and I think they were British weren't they so I don't think they got any hits in the States I think that was their issue I think they wanted to be the't they? Yeah. So I don't think they got any hits in the States. I think that was their issue. I think they wanted to be the next Jackson 5.

I mean, there's no doubt about it. They were completely modelled meticulously after the Jacksons. Unfortunately, they kind of had that 90s, 80s Motown sound, which was that MD kind of... But they stock Aitken and Waterman. I don't think so. Really? Yeah.

And then we've got...'s that jimmy cricket cricket it's the way i tell him he's a comedian who was a gag smith and he was famous like a jimmy car of his time in a way no no no because he was more like he was safer he played up the stereotype of the stupid irish so like you know like everyone has that oh the irish is stupid yeah he kind of came on as a stupid irish and kind of like claimed that stupidity so uh there's a bunch of his jokes shall i read some out to you here we go i'll even do it in the voice no jimmy cricket's favorite funnies come here there's more that's his catchphrase yeah yeah come here there's more yeah come here there's more yeah come here okay there's more. Yeah. Come here, there's more. Yeah. Come here. Okay. There's more.

Hey, here we go. I'm just going to read one random. What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? There is a dog. There is a dog. Doesn't like this joke. I wish the bats would come back. What do you call, what do you get if you cross a dog with a cat?

It's a way of telling. I don't know. A dog that fights with itself all day. I bet that's not even one of his jokes. These are just cracker jokes that the looking researcher has just sourced. Waiter, waiter. You've got your thumb in me soup. Don't tell everyone.

They all want my thumb in them. No. This one is. That's all right, sir. It's not hot. Oh, no, no, no. That is just pure ancient dad joke. What did you get when you cross a cock-a-cockerel with a poodle?

A cock-a-poo. A cock-a-poodle do. Oh, yeah. Come here, there's more. No. 50 more. What did you get? Fuck off.

What did Humpty Dump... Where did Humpty Dumpty put his hat? Up his arse! Humpty dumped his hat on the wall. So he did. Diddly diddly, come here, there's more. Stop it. Diddly diddly.

Why do Boy Scouts get dizzy? Because they fucking spoff in socks. They spoff on each other's mess kits. Because they do spoff in socks. They spoff on each other's mess kits. Because they do a good turn every day. Diddly diddly, come here, there's more. No, there's not. Have you heard the one about the empty house? Yeah.

I killed someone and left them in the basement of it. Then I spoffed down the stairs. You know, it's one of those basement stairs. I'm just like spoffing into the stairs. You know, it's one of those basement stairs. I'm just like spoffing into the dark. Knock, knock. All right, I've had enough, Paul. I actually have had enough.

I'll make it a little bit blue for the audience. I'm going to go up. If you want to join me. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. This is one for the adults, this one. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Felix. Felix who? Felix, my balls. I'll spoff on his nose. You've ruined it. You've there? Felix. Felix who? Felix, my balls. I'll spoff on his nose. You've ruined it. You've ruined the tension. Now, let's go back to the do it. So do it, yeah.

There's a couple of pages in here where they give you a few do it's to do. Ah, so it was that kind of kids thing, but there was a drama associated with it. Let's have a quick look. Tell us what we can make. It's three illustrated panels that have... Make It is the first one. Handshake Machine.

So the Handmake Machine basically is like a pressure gauge, isn't it? It's like you fill up like a balloon or a thing and you squeeze it as hard as you can to make the liquid

go up the tube. And this is something to measure the strength of your grip ostensibly. So I think you squeeze a as hard as you can to make the liquid go up the tube. And this is something to measure the strength of your grip, ostensibly. So I think you squeeze a tube, and that forces the liquid up through a pipe, and then you can measure how firm your grip is. You know what's also quite amusing to me is this... It's a wank grip machine. It totally is, and he's joshing off it.

There's all spood coming out the end of that nozzle as well. That's glue. Yeah, it's glue, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's glue. Not everything's spoff. Paul, it's just a mark on a page. Not everything is spoffy. I think a lot of stuff is, though.

It's not, though. It's not. Your bedroom, maybe. You'd be surprised. That's the horrible part, isn't it? There's all kinds of gloopy stuff all over the shop. Talking to the mic. Who's that guy?

Where do I recognise that guy from? I don't know. The next one try it message on a stick i thought it said massage on a stick which would be again involving spots no this has got deeper to say we obviously have pictures of all of the stuff that we cover in the show yeah on www.thecheapshow.co.uk thecheapshow.co.uk if you want to see this. But these illustrations are very much in a viz. They're giving me a viz kind of style, you know? Yeah. So what's the last panel there?

Eat it. Oh, spoff. Make it, try it, eat it. Yeah. Yeah. So now I think one day we'll be doing another video for YouTube. The ultimate ice cream. Yeah. With a little help from Norman. Yeah. Oh now, I think one day we'll be doing another video for YouTube. The ultimate ice cream. Yeah.

With a little help from Norman. Yeah. Oh, my God. Hello. Norman's ice cream is one of my favourite. Oh, God. Look, we didn't... What?

Now, were those little... Do you remember those being in the magazine that you mentioned? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's also how to make homemade chips from potato skins and things like that. I think there's another one towards the back. That's nice.

Deep fried potato skins. Yeah, like you put them in the oven or something and roast them and the skins that you shave off a potato become crispy. They go all crispy, yeah.

And they probably got good for you as well. Some more do it, eat it. So they had to make some milkshakes. Oh, they've got more. There's more. Yeah.

Try it. Two pages. Make a tree and a ladder from rolled up paper do you know that thing where you roll up paper then you cut it then you stretch it out into like a big palm tree kind of thing right oh yeah that's a that i've never seen the ladder but i've seen that palm tree before and then there's a these are just typical in all sorts of books for kids activities at the time weren't they and the best one make disappearing ink with. With lemon juice. Or vinegar.

Or. No. Man batter. There is not. You can get that man batter. And you can. You can use sperm to write secret messages. Oh, fuck off.

Secret messages like, two pints of milk, please, today. I want to see some evidence of this. We need cat food written in Josh glue. Can I just say say this bit isn't strong enough as comedy, Paul. Isn't it? No, so is it fact? No. Yes, it is. It's the uncanny valley that you so often fall into on this

pod, Paul. I'm just saying. Being neither funny or truthful. It was truthful, though. No, it wasn't. You cannot make invisible ink from spunk, okay? Joanne Conway was the ice skater that we saw on the front. Oh, I was wrong. It has her in the magazine.

I was totally wrong. So, yeah, there we go. The Torval and Dean were huge. They had a number one single with Ravel's Bolero. Yeah. It wasn't them, but, I mean, there's Jimmy Cricket. More Jimmy Cricket, just talking about his life. It's a good one, this.

It's extremely 80s, this looking area. Very 80s. Didn't you say there was some kind of incident with another item that you wanted, but it was stuck behind the... Tis was. Oh, Tis was annual. Yeah. And it was jammed between two glass cabinets.

And he's just said, I'm not getting it out. Yeah. And to be fair, I don't blame him. Why? Would he have to break something? No, he'd have to move two big cabinets made of glass full of toys and magnets. You know what I mean? So I'm like, yeah, alright.

Leave it. There's Phil Cool. There's a whole section on impressionists at the time. Les Dennis dressed up as Boy George. Phil Cool was good. Bobby Davro. What did Davro do? George Michael. Elton John. Gary Wilmot listed here. There's a whole section.

Wilmot did impressions, didn't he? Pleased to meet you, Bobby Davro is this article's headline and you know what also the first time everyone's ever said out loud the sentence pleased to meet you Bobby Davro

so he was big though he must have been big he was he had a career didn't he started in show business when he was 12 years old he teamed up with a girl

who lived nearby and they both sang at the local talent contest songs from Sound of Music oh god they won four years on the trot. So many of the big names from that era did come through those talent shows. Do you know what his real name is?

Bobby Davro isn't his real name, unfortunately. Because, you know, you think Bobby Davro, you think superstar. His real name is Robert Nankerville. No, Nankerville has to go. And his dad's called Bill Nankerville. Bill Nankerville. An ex-Olympic runner who ran 1,500 metres for Britain

in the 1948 Olympics. And then it just basically says, yeah, then he decided he could do songs. Oh, hang on. Bobby joined his father's business in a discount store.

Oh! You don't see those anymore, do you, really? Yes, you do. But they're kind of like just weird little... They're like little Poundlands. Yeah, little Poundlands.

So anyway, Treasure Hunt. I've been watching a bunch of Treasure Hunt recently following the board game that I got. Yeah. That was underwhelming. Really? Yeah. No, the board game was.

Although someone is sending us, apparently, Challenge Annika. The board game? Yeah. Okay, we'll have to play that. So basically, we've done it before, but Treasure Hunt, quiz show, people running around the UK, well, Annika Rice and her camera crew in a helicopter darting about some part of the UK looking for clues. A crew, a couple in a studio have to use dictionaries and guides and history books to figure out the clues. Always hated it.

I've watched it back recently. It's terrible. No, I really like it now. It's boring as fuck. It's not. When you watch it back now, because I'm older, I kind of get it more. And also, Anna Carice. Dirty little girl.

Seriously. She's flirting the whole time. There's a whole bit where she's in Scotland and she's all like, you know she's got that really posh voice and she's really quite pretty. It's like the English Rose kind of character almost. But she's running up to people and Kilton's like, oh, can I get my hand on what's under there? Oh, I can't wait to toss his caber. Oh, I wouldn't mind having a Highland fling with him. but she's running up to people and kilt is like oh can i get my hand on what's under there okay oh

oh i can't wait to toss his caber okay oh the high i wouldn't mind having a highland fling with him okay you think calm down seven o'clock on channel four yeah you know i know she was saucy she's all like oh i'd like to see his cock and balls in my hands yeah she was saucy. I think that's it. But that's what they kind of sold it on. So the dads,

you know, the dads. I guess. She played that up a little bit. The dads were like, oh, come on. This is good.

The character, I'd like to say she plays on Treasure Island. It's more like the girl who fits in with the lads kind of thing. Yeah, one of the boys.

She's not quite one of them, but they like her being around kind of thing because she has a laugh. anyway it wouldn't be it wouldn't uh it wouldn't go that these days would it wouldn't fly these days the whole sort of approach to it all right here we go a couple of facts about treasure hunt for you from the look him annual last year this would have been 87 6 000 viewers applied to take part now those who appeared more than a third have succeeded in directing annika to the Treasure and winning the £1,000 prize, which is a lot of money back in

88. Yeah, it's reasonable. The show was originally created in France and although there have been several European versions, the UK one is the longest running. It's fact, isn't it? There's a bunch of facts there. Because like, Channel 4 was just like, what, what, can we nick off the French Treasure Hunt? Alright, Fort Boyard

they nicked as well, didn't they? Countdown. Was Countdown nicked from the French? Countdown's a French quiz show originally. Can't say the title of it right now, but yeah, it was originally a French show. Was it Le Countdown? Le Tiki Toki Kik Klok. Le Kliky Klok Word Game. The jumpsuits

worn by Annika are now made of the same non-split material used for the costumes in Starlight Express at the West End. Wow, this is so 80s. Yeah. I enjoyed Starlight Express and had it on a double cassette. I liked it because it was roller skates. I was into roller skates.

Yeah, but again, it's like cats. It's a bunch of shit happens in it, the song, and then it ends. Yeah. There's nothing. There's nothing happens. Final fact. It's about trains, for fuck's sake. Final fact.

There's nothing. There's nothing happens. Final fact. It's about trains. The final fact. The whereabouts of Treasure Hunt clues are surrounded in such secrecy that Annika is confined to her hotel room until the day of the shoot. The only advance information she is giving is when she's at the starting point of her takeoff. She's literally confined to her hotel room? Yeah, probably.

Who's guarding her? It's not like they fly her out from Scotland to York. And she went around in a helicopter? Yeah. That must have been a bit risky to do over and over again. Yeah, she's running in and out of helicopters

and the blades are spinning the whole time. And they crash more often than sort of... Well, there was no big accidents on the five years or whatever they did. It could have been,

is what I'm saying. Could have been. You know what I mean? A pissed up pilot one time or something. And then finally, I don't want to go into it in great detail.

I'm not saying I would have liked that. No, of course. I'm just saying it could happen. You know, you hear about helicopter accidents more than like like, jumbos, for example. I guess.

Don't you? Because they can go down. There was an accident in London, in Vauxhall, a few years back. Oh, God, yeah. That guy went into the tower in Vauxhall. The fucking tower was on fire. Anyway, Danger Mouse. No, there's a section here that I want to do another time actually

and go into it properly, but Cosgrove Hall. We've touched Cosgrove Hall before, but I want to do a proper retro on it one day. I can't see. Why didn't you close it? It's one of the few final pages. Sorry. Danger Mouse and his friends from Cosgrove Hall.

Is that their studio? Cosgrove Hall was the studio that made things like Jamie and the Magic Torch, Danger Mouse, Wind in the Willows. Jamie and the Magic Torch. That's my Wind in the Willows. Jamie and the Magic Torch that's my touchstone. Do you know what mate? I haven't seen that image in fucking years mate. I need to get a picture of that.

I'll take a picture, don't worry. I need a picture of that. I'll take a picture. That's one of my earliest ever TV memories. I was obsessed. And it has the best theme tune of all time, Jamie and the Magic Torch. Jamie, let's have a bit of that now. Yeah, alright. Just put it on the show. Alright. Sleep, Jamie. Jamie, let's have a bit of that now. Yeah, all right. Come on, just put it on the show. All right.

Sleep well, Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie and the Magic Torch Down the hill to Skeldor, faster and faster to what's cool land Wordsworth, Wordsworth, following heart behind Ready for adventure, always there to lend a hand following It is one of the greatest theme tunes to a kids show. But to be fair, Cosgrove Hall defined the 80s. I think we should save on this

and have a proper deep dive into it. Chorlton and the Wheelies look so excellent as well. Let's take it away and we'll do a deep dive on it in the near future. I would like to talk a bit more about Jamie and his magic torch. Ducula, Alias the Jester, Creepy Crawlies, Reluctant Dragon. Creepy Crawlies, what was that? It's like a stop motion show about bugs. Do you remember?

It's one of their lesser-known efforts. I do not remember that. So that's like a forerunner to Trapdoor, in a way. Trapdoor would have been earlier, I reckon. Really? Yeah. So there we go. That was our first dip into the 80s.

Oh, it's the music, it's the sounds. Doesn't have a lot. Yeah, the only music artist they really feature in here is Five Star. And quite frankly, they're dull. They're terrible. Let me just give you an example of how dull they are when they were all they were christians weren't they as well i think they were all it sounds very like i can't remember i think they're all devout lorraine's favorite food hot chocolate biscuits well hot chocolate biscuits sorry no i meant milk

chocolate what is your thing with food can i just just let everyone know? The other day I was talking about having a bit of a sore throat and losing my voice. Yeah. And Paul said to me, have a honey tea. Yeah, we mentioned this on the last, yeah. You mentioned it already? Yeah, on the Twitch or the Patreon. Oh, this is like canon.

Anyway, Denise from Five Star. Honey tea. And I said, what's honey tea? I said, what's honey tea? You know, tea with honey. And I said, a normal honey tea? I said, what's honey tea? You know, tea with honey. And I said, a normal person would say tea with some honey in. Denise from Five Star. There is no such thing as honey tea.

Or there may be, Paul. There may be honey tea. But it sounds weird and it's the way hot chocolate biscuits. Hot chocolate biscuits is another example. Denise from Five Star, her favourite food, salad. What a boring cunt got a wash i don't think she deserves that poor right but fucking what's she done to you boring rotter what would you say your favorite food is one item salad what how can you not be favorite food is

salad i don't know it's up there for me there There's nothing to a salad. That's not true at all. That's what you have with a thing. No, it's not. Ah, fuck you. You're wrong on every count. Salad. Pro salad. I love salad. No one loves salad. I do. Genuinely. No one loves salad and no one loves you. Salad is a part of

Cheap Show that you're just going to have to fucking accept. No, no. That's not getting cut into a future intro theme. Listen, mate. Salad, yes. And also, while we're on that subject, Paul, let me just try again to rehabilitate celery in the public

imagination. Go on, you've got five seconds now to give me something that makes celery interesting. Celery, celery, yes, yes, yes. Rub it on my meters, put it on my chest. Once again, Eli's pulling it out the bag. Gobots! They came by land,

by sea, and through the air. Super Gobots! Guardians and renegades prepared for battle. Razor, Spy Eye, Throttle, and Super Gooper. Seeking vamp, night fright, and clutch. Mighty robots, mighty vehicles, robots!

Get ready! Super Gobots, each sold separately, new from Tonka. Who goes there? Spike and friends, channel item! They wear transform-reflected badges! Okay! The Transformers! Robots in disguise! In the Transformers Prizes in Disguise game, everyone's a winner. So, we're going to race into the Or Transformer Action Cards. Get Transformer reflective patches and game details free in specially marked packages from Hasbro. So we're going to race into the late 70s, early 80s period.

I'm feeling like it. Do it. What words were cool in the 80s? Radical? That was 90s, wasn't it? I used to say brilliant. That was ice hot. Brilliant.

Gear. Didn't they say that was well gear? Is that an 80s thing? That was fab-dambidozy. No one said that. Ice hot. Brilliant. Gear. Didn't they say that was well gear? Is it? Is that an 80s thing? That was fab-dambi-dozy. No one said that. That was fab-dambi-dozy. It was a catchphrase of perhaps the creepiest duo of all time.

Fab-dambi-dozy. Fab-dambi-dozy. That was the Cranky's catchphrase. That sex was absolutely fab-dambi-dozy. Someone said that once. I meant it. Fab-dambabby dozy. Someone said that once. I meant it. Fandabby dozy. Oh, Fandabby dozy. Do they do that?

Drip. Oh, is that a spunk effect? A little. You've got spunk effects. Yeah, like a leaky tap. Drip. Paul. Yeah?

It's the final segment of the show. Yeah, and we're going to just do a quick, we're going to goo it, deep dive into it. We're going to press goo. Press glue. Press goo. I'll press my glue all over your teeth. Oh, yeah? All over your teeth. Really, yeah? All over your teeth.

Will you? Yeah. Press it down. I'll squirt it. All right. Force it into your teeth gaps. Paul, don't press your glue on me. Right.

What have we got? Oh, it's a mystery bag. It's a mystery bag. How are we going to cover that Moog record? Yeah, but we're going to get through these because I've packed it is it stuff to put in my gob no

but I think you might like it more am I just dipping into this sauce in my finger from last night you can't touch what I've given you now because these are quite classy and nice and now they've got cream and clive all over them. Wash your finger. Look, it's lucky I've got us clean.

No, it's dirty. I'm about to pass you something. It's fine. It actually turned my stomach, that whole thing. Because it looked like you just spooned a load of spoff into your mouth on your finger. It's cream and chive. Clive.

It's cream and clive. Wasn't it used to be called sour cream? Oh, it is called sour cream. Right. Can we continue? I'm focused. We haven't got much time. I hear you fucking start dabbing.

I don't have much time, Paul. Well, then stop going off on tangents where you dip your finger in cheese and clive sauce. Cheese and clive. Cheese and clive sauce. Just let me blow my nose. Just to edit point yeah

right so 70s 80s toys I thought we'd go through a quick little meander through some 70s 80s toys now what I'm about to show you I've kind of showed you

already before but now he has some friends so with that in mind Eli Silverman a blast from the past do you remember all of these

oh he's handed me a bunch of timey handhelds Eli Silverman a blast from the past do you remember all of these oh he's handed me a bunch of Tomy handhelds Pocketeers Pocketeers is what the actual name of the series

was called bar one of them they're all Pocketeers no they're all Pocketeers but bar one they cost £4 all together nice job luck

they're not mint on card not in the greatest condition but they work let's go through these. Yep. Oh, this is fantastic, Paul. You know, if you liked one of these a lot,

you might want to get one that is in better condition. Yeah, but they basically work. They're not 100%, but they basically work. What you've got there is a tank game. There are four little...

You load the tank. Yeah, you load it with a ball on a spring four pictures of various military vehicles that you can shoot down with you yeah you're meant to hit that little nugget and the picture changes from move the light for me please let's somehow we're going to try and have a little go at this it's going to have a little go of it you hit this uh peg peg yeah you hit the peg and then what happens the picture changes does it yeah to because you move the peg to move the picture along and it makes it look like it's blown it up.

Oh, that's cool, isn't it? Yeah. So you need to aim at the peg to change the picture. So you get the ball bearings to... You load up your chute with ball bearings. As is the wand. Oh, you load it. You actually can hold three at once.

Yeah. I'm going to go for this nearest one. All right, go on. Which is the howitzer. It's like an artillery gun. Aim and fire. Oh. Didn't work.

The spring might not be its best than it used to be. Have you looked? Have you seen the pictures behind it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! Oh. Didn't work. All right, let's move on to the next one.

So that one's like tank game. I like this one. Would this have had stickers on it originally, do you think? Because it's very plain. No, I think that's it. It doesn't have any sort of sign on it. I think that's it. What it's like tank game. I like this one. Would this have had stickers on it originally, do you think? Because it's very plain. No, I think that's it. It doesn't have any sort of sign on it. I think that's it. What it's called or whatever.

It might have had a sticker on the back. In 76, this is. 76? Yeah. Oh, wow. It says on the back, look, Tommy, circa 1976, made in Singapore. Oh. Oh.

I like that. I like these. Next. Next one is ice hockey. Yeah. Now, this is a kind of a strange one. You. Next one is ice hockey. Yeah. Now, this is kind of a strange one. You've got four players and a goalie. You're trying to get it in the goal,

so you're trying to pass it between the players. Is that right? You've got to use the flicky button to flick the ball bearings up the four players, so it's really fucking hard, by the way, this one. And how you load up the things. I'm loading up. There's some kind of dial which loads with four R, and then you pass the first one to the first player in the bottom left.

Again, there will be pictures of these on our website. And then you're trying to get it. Oh, it hasn't worked. You've got to start with that one off the side, haven't you? Which one? This one? No, the bottom one, because that will kick it to there. Yeah, I know.

I did. And then I'm trying to pass it to that one first. Ah, right. Okay. There you go. Loaded it up. That's hard. It is hard. It needs a gentle touch. Oh, I've done it. that's hard it is hard

it needs a gentle touch I've done it I've passed it to him alright good this is a nice one yeah I like this one pass the puck

it's called pass the puck I like the ones where they've got the name the branding you know that one seemed a bit plain with just sort of military vehicles it might have had a sticker on the back but that still doesn't help

Tommy Pocket Games it's called Pocketeers Pocketeers yeah it doesn't say that on this it just says Tommy Pocket Games perhaps's called Pocketeers Pocketeers yeah it doesn't say that on this it just says Tommy Pocket Games perhaps this is even earlier

maybe yeah it's a good point you know I'm going to try and make my second pass oh and I've lost it

again back to the bottom right next one oh and this has got oh it's got the rules it's got rules oh and it's got you can play against

people it says yeah I guess you can hand it to people try and see who gets the most points by jumping the highest or maybe who gets the most points by jumping the highest. Or maybe who gets the most goals is the winner there.

Le Pass de Hockey. Right, next. This one, I don't like this one. I think it's a little broke. I was about to say, this is easily my favourite of the three we've seen so far. Oh, really? Easily. I love the design on that.

The design I like, but the game I don't think works. What do you mean to do? This is Las Vegas, it's called. And you've got two... It's dice. They're little sort of puck-shaped dice decals in there. One to six.

And there's a sort of maze thing that they're going through. I think they're meant to start this big area here, and then you're meant to shake them. I'll get them into the big area. Shake them like dice. What does this dial at the top do? Well, this is what I don't understand. Turn it,

and I think it vibrates the space, the playing space. Ah, that's cool. But I don't, I think it's also meant to pop up a little gate to block you off.

There's a gate, and that doesn't seem to be working at all. That doesn't seem to be working. Okay, so yeah, what it does, it goes like that. Vibrates it.

And then it will, they'll fall down there, and you'll see what you've got. And you've got to get them one to six in a row. Similar to poker dice. Oh, is that what you have to do? Yeah.

I like that. It's a nice little thing, isn't it? Yeah. I love the design down there and you've got to get them one to six in a row oh is that what you have to do yeah i like that it's a nice little thing isn't it yeah i love the the design of the sort of play space orange and black and also the sort of beveled corners the soft corners do you know what i mean it's like the inside of a spaceship or something yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good one i like the coloring on that 1978 this one oh oh these are just a joy, all of these, Paul. Really? Yeah. And dirt cheap.

Pocketeers. Now, this one does say Pocketeers, this next one. Okay. This is Cat and Mouse. It's got another release thing. What do you have to do? And it's got one of these, what would you call that? It's sort of a revolving loader.

Yeah, this is a catch game. So, you turn the dial at the top, it releases a ball, and it goes down the ramp. However, you've got to use the red button to catch the ball before the cat gets it at the bottom. And if you catch the ball, it sends it to a different area. Oh, yeah, I can see. So it's a catch game.

This is quite a complicated one, isn't it? You've got to bounce the ball as it drops at the right time to get it. All right, I'm going to have a go. So good luck. Could you reach around and release it for me, please? Do you want me to reach around you and release the balls down the shaft as you kind of grab what I drop? All right, here we go.

Ready? Just say what. Oh, that's gone out. All right, next one. What's that good? Is that good? I'm trying to score. That's gone out as well.

Yeah, you've got to be quick. Here we go. Fuck, that's gone out as well. Yeah. You've got to be quick. Here we go. Fuck. That's gone out. Release the ball. I missed that one as well. It's gone out. There we go.

Oh, come on. Tell me when you're going to do it. I don't know because I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see. I can't see.

I can't see. I'm behind you doing it. I missed every single one. This is the last one. And I missed that as well. Oh, there you go. I scored. Oh, that scored 10. Yeah. There. I was going for that. I could have gone for the second one. Yeah, yeah as well oh there you go I scored oh that scored 10

yeah there I was going for that I could have gone for the second one to score 5 it's easier yeah yeah yeah I like that it's good isn't it

that's a nice one what one's that called again it's cat and mouse cat and mouse doesn't have a date on the back of that one could be later couldn't it

could be later it looks a little bit like more new how much were all of these so there's 6 of them i got five oh no all six came together so oh no that one you've got there you've already played that's the uh this is a better version this has got no that's the same one same one this is the rat attack so that one i got separately yeah and i think that was three quid and that does have a sticker on that's still there

yeah but the other five they came together as a job lot for £4 altogether. 78, this one is from. Oh, wow. The Rat-a-tat. So the Rat-a-tat was the one we featured last time. Yeah, nice. The gangster ball bearing game. And then this.

Now, this is what I remember having as a kid when I was young. Drop and catch. This is a very simple one, isn't it? Yeah. It's nice primary colours. I like these earlier ones. It's a real shame about the damage to the sticker here. The sticker has to be there as well because part of the game is

like a Pinchinko thing. You can't see. You scroll the balls, they drop down and then you grab them at the bottom as they come out. And then there's zero or one point I guess. Yeah, it'll either fall down to the bottom in zero or you'll catch it and drop it into the five point hole. That's the hole for the five point hole.

So you move all the ball bearings to the top and then just let them cascade down, and you grab as many as you can. These are things that will just never be made on this scale ever again, will they? No. There's no point in tactile toys anymore. And yet I...

I caught one. Hey, well done. But I love them, and I miss them. Tomy made so many things my childhood I just love. The tower puzzle games, the water pumping puzzle games, you know, all those things, the Pocketeers. These are a joy to me. When can I

have my WoW back? Well, me and Biffo, we're going to, you're going to be there on Wednesday as well. Well, what time do you start? Well, like one-ish and then you can go whenever. I need to then come back as well. Yeah, I know. And DJ. Alright, we'll get the videos done, but we're going to do an episode all about these Tomy Wows. Can I be in that?

Yeah, because I've also got one more that I haven't brought with me today, which is And DJ. All right, we'll get the videos done. But we're going to do an episode all about these Tomy Wows and Ars. Can I be in that? Yeah. Because I've also got one more that I haven't brought with me today, which is a little bit different, called Starcades, I think they're called. Ah. With a bit more kind of upright. Is that Tomy as well? Yeah. Tomy just made Clockwork, Toys and Gats. But that three, that was a series.

The Arg. Wow. And Yar. And Yar. Yeah. Nice little family. These are all part of the same kind of family tree of tomy toys yeah but those are larger and we're all yeah much more elaborate aspect yeah much more elaborate but

i'm happy i've got these they look really nice on a shelf and i can i generally every now and then fiddle with them for a bit lovely if i was going to pick a favorite from these favorite from drop bomb cat and mouse i mean i put las vegas in terms of the look i like las vegas the most favourite from these today? You're going to pick a favourite from Drop, Bomb, Cat and Mouse, Puck, Las Vegas. In terms of the look, I like Las Vegas the most. I would put that on my shelf. I love that. The design. Playability, probably Cat and Mouse

seems like an actual challenge. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And Cat and Mouse as well, it's sort of you're going for the highest score possible so you kind of can complete that. I do like that drop one, though. I like that because it's simple, but I reckon it's a fairer game. I love the colours on the drop.

Green, orange. What was it called? Drop and... Drop and catch. Drop and catch. Yeah. It's all gone dark in here in the House of Pickles. It has gone dark, hasn't it?

The sun has set. The sun has set. Will the bats come? The darkness has come in. The darkness is encroaching into the vetted corners. It's gotten dark, hasn't it? It's become more intimate, a space all of a sudden. I know.

Ooh. Let's crack on. So that's, I just wanted to get those out of the way. I wanted to show them off. Yeah. Because again, six, and I got, I spent maybe six quid on all of it. Love it. Cheap show.

Yeah. I wish I had it as a kid. And bar one, I never did, so. I'm not going to go crazy and buy a load, but I... It's funny, isn't it? That's nice.

You see stuff when you're a kid and it's there and then it isn't there anymore. And now we can reach, just like that. You can see it. Just like that, we can reach out

and buy it again. There are certain things that just aren't. Yeah. Certain ephemera, like that show, Do It, that you know existed existed do you know what

my personal one of those is what in the science museum in london yeah they used to have a body section where you walked through and there were there's a bit about the heart yeah and there were these short films about fear that they showed right in a little booth in one of these little exhibits in this heart section okay in one of these little exhibits in this heart section. Okay. And one of them was this guy who wakes up in the middle of the night

and sees a shadow. And you can hear this, as his heart gets bigger, he sees this shadow and he's like, and then it's a cat. And it was the scariest thing I'd ever seen in my life. And the other part of it was a guy on a cliff and he's,

he's bleeding and he sort of falls. And he's like, but the bit where he sees the's, ah, he's bleeding and, ah, he sort of falls and he's, ah. But the bit where he sees the shadows, like, eh, eh, it's like got those, it's got that feel of those public information films from the 70s. Don't pick up the sparkler. Yeah, those ones, yeah, that are deeply disturbing. I'm going to fly

my kite in the field next to the big electric pylon. Of course, there's a whole, there's a whole, you know, Scarfolk is the fake one of those. The what? Scarfolk. Scarfolk. What's that? Scarfolk?

You know, it's a make-believe place that some people have done. It's an art thing. I've never heard of this. It's a sort of mid-70s. A fictional place that existed in the 70s. Yeah, it's very dark and it's got that vibe. All these kids were injured have you ever seen it

no Scarfick you must have seen Scarfick I mean it might be something I've not subconsciously picked up on but I've seen it you know what I mean

it's all using sort of BBC children's TV all of that stuff and the public information films Charlie says yeah don't accept fish

off a man in a van yeah that's another one isn't it wow wow wow yeah wow wow but anyway that was my one we isn't it? Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. Wow, wow. But anyway, that was my one. We should bring back those videos.

And I can't. Shut up. I play the boy and you play Charlie the cat. Why? Because that would be funny. Imagine if you're Charlie the cat going, wow, wow, wow. Why would that be funny? And I go, Charlie says I can't go home with you today, Mr. Grumbly.

Paul, I was just trying to say, that film. I want to suck your cock no no no no what no don't try and just bring a character back on no pretext how much

is it B-side oh that's out of character I like that character what I've got to do shut up is what you've got to do I've got to put another song on Paul on the B-side.

Are we going to... You what? Are we rapping? I meant to cut with a song just like that. You've got to... What am I meant to put on the B-side? We don't need a B-side. Speaking of a B-side,

segue into a quick jaunt through the platters of the 80s. And I think you're right. What we were going to play, we'll save for a proper dive because it's a little bit special. I think we should. Yeah. And I think you're right because I think you've got a few other things

you want to get out as well. So let's bank it. And without saying too much, have another Moog special soon. Moog 3. What would be the pun for that? What's a Godfather 3? What's a famous third electric Moogaloo?

That's already been done, though. I think someone suggested we do it for the second one. Well, that's why I'm saying let's do another thing that was as clever as that, but come up with it now. Have I got Moog for you?

Hey! Sorry. I like it. Now, that's what I call Moog Volume 3. Yeah, that's it. Got there. Okay, so we're going to cover this.

Well, it's just that, then. That's the only thing you've got, isn't it? No, I've got another one as well, that one that you got me. We, that's it. Got there. Okay, so we're going to cover this. Well, it's just that then. That's the only thing you've got, isn't it? No, I've got another one as well, that one that you got me. We'll talk about it. So I found this in a charity shop. And it is... Or did someone... No, I did get it in a charity shop.

Yeah, I did. I panicked then for a minute thinking it might have been a P.O. Box thing. But this is a 12-inch of Harry Enfield, comedian, doing his loads of money doing up the house. And side one is a doing up the house Turbo Nutter remix. Side two is the interesting one because it has the single on,

written by, what year was it? 1988. And the song is written by Charlie Higson, Paul Whitehouse, Harry Enfield. It was his biggest character up till then. Well, he was known as Stavros before that, wasn't he? He did Stavros, I think, on Saturday Live, didn't he? I think all those characters came from that.

That was a hit, Stavros. But the real breakout was loads of money. What was loads of money? It was huge. And it was also almost the sort of beginning of that whole sort of cycle of comedians being almost as big as pop stars, which came to a head with

the Mary Whitehouse experience. Yeah. You know what I mean? Newman and Baddiel's course. He was doing that kind of stuff. It was huge. And this record, I'm sure, was number one. Maybe. I honestly can't remember. You don't always see the 12-inch version, but in charity shops you see the... Yeah, 7-inch.

And someone called Tara T has taken the time to write on this because this was coveted by the owner, Tara T, at the time. Oh, you know, she wanted to make sure that didn't end up in someone else's collection. What year did she say she got it? Oh, look, 7588. Ah. Ah.

Tara T. She put the date on there. Yeah, good old Tara T. Now, it's kind of funny. I think it's kind of good. I think it's kind of good. I think it's going to be... Let's just play a little bit of it and then we'll talk about

the point of the character. Oi, you! Shut your mouth and look at my wand! Loads of money! Into money. Loads of money. I know. I know, I know

He's low to money L-O-D-S of E-N-O-N-E What's his spell? Loads of money, probably Made a right load of headish and nolly this week N-O-N-E What's the spell? Loads of money Probably Been a right load of finishing knowledge this week Well, let's watch out for the ladies Loads of, loads of, loads of

Money, money, money Loads of, loads of, loads of Money, money, money Oi Whoop-a-da Whoop-a-da Loads of money Whoop-a-da

Whoop-a-da Whoop-a-da Loads of Money, it was kind of an Alf Garnett thing, where it was like a spoof of a type of character. A greedy, Thatcherite, working-class builder, basically. They would call it a boomer. That character's from the baby boomer generation. No, younger. it all right okay maybe you're right i don't know i don't quite know but anyway yeah the point is that yeah it was meant to be a satire of the selfish thatcherite tory supporting self-made cunt yeah you know and it was all like loads of money yeah you what it's kind of ill-educated, but nouveau riche

because of all the money and rubs it in your face. And it's like, I don't give a fuck about you or the poor. Yeah. The problem is, there were a lot of people like him

who liked that character. Yeah, so it's the satire paradox. Happened big on that, didn't it, basically? And that's why it was so huge. But people were like consuming it unironically. They're just like,

oh, he's kind of cool like loads of money yeah he says what he feels yeah you know what I mean he's it so that happened but it is amusing

the character's fucking funny it's a great creation isn't it Harry Enfield certainly in the first part of his career just created the most amazing characters

funny funny characters loads of money in Stavros for great characters and then he kind of burnt them off killed them off to some extent but how sick of loads of money do youavros for great characters and then he kind of burnt them off killed them off to some extent but how sick

of loads of money do you think he got before even you know but then think about the BBC show he did where all of a sudden it was like

only me and that was huge I don't believe he wanted to do that I know and then he was saying that for years yeah yeah

and then like smashy and icy he was just a great comedian I think Harry Enfield we've said this before but I think one of the finest British bits of comedy ever is that for years yeah yeah and then like smashy and icy he was just a great comedian i think harry we've said this before but i think one of the finest british bits of comedy ever is the 90 minute or the 60 minute whatever it is smashy and icy end of an era oh wow which is just fucking absolutely fantastic comedy great character comedy great pastiche you know great satire yeah

packed with gags foreground and background it's just fucking dense yeah it's brilliant so i agree so this is a an 80s track and it's it references a lot of things so you've got the michael cain impression that starts it my name is loads of money and he's also like a football supporter thing got that chanty thing yeah which I find fucking hilarious. Oh, hey, oh. Yeah. Hey, hey, oh. Yeah. And it also references Pump Up the Volume by Mars, doesn't it? Yeah, because that was the big breakthrough dancing. Pump Up the Volume. Pump Up the Volume.

Pump Up the Volume. Dance. Dance. So anyway, but the B side, which is on... It doesn't have Our Year on it, though. Our Year? Was this Our Year later than this? It doesn't have Put the Needle on the Record.

It doesn't have that on either but it does reference there's other references in there then they've got another mix on the flip no no the A side is the 12 inch remix the B side is the original single

yeah which would have been the 7 inch but it's also got the B side on it as well which would have been obviously the B the whole of the B side on the 7 inch

which is hilarious funny as fuck should I have a bit of that yeah let's play a little bit of that now well i've got to do a song then oh right well that song i've done the other day what one's that then what what one's that?

You know, that song. What, the one I done the other day? Yeah. Oh, alright then. One, two, three, four. You got a tape running? Yeah. Alright then.

One, two, three, four. Shut up, I'm singing. Yeah, Lance. Lones. Is that enough? Yeah, it sounds good. Does that sound all right? Yeah, it's great.

Carry on, though. We'll do that as a take. And yeah, it's kind of like the joke. I love it. There's been a few jokes about a comedian who doesn't know what to do on the B side so that's the joke

of the B side like Morris Minor of the Mages like Morecambe and Wise but that sounds like it was improvised and it's just like just him doing

the character you know what to be fair it was like on the B side it was literally like that thank god I did that character first before hearing that

otherwise it would have been hold your shirt you can't you can't think of anything original well you can't no You can't think of anything original! Well, you can't. No, I can't, but I don't like you pointing it out on my podcast. Pointing out your sources, yeah, when you don't even know

what they are. So anyway, I kind of like that. I think I like it more for the B-side's cheek than anything else, but that's a nice choice. The second one, You Got Me. Tell me about how you found it. I was in Reckless Records. Sorry, say again. You got this in Reckless Records. Sorry, say again. You got this?

Reckless Records in Soho, I believe. They have a section of movie-based and also exotica and miscellaneous 7-inches, which you always go through. And they've got there for 12 quid, which I think is just a bit too much. The Stephen Hawking version of the Galaxy song. Oh, yeah, I saw that. Picture disc for 12 quid, which I think is just a bit of too much. The Stephen Hawking version of the Galaxy song by Monty Python. Yeah, I saw that.

Picture disc is 12 quid. I could just do that for you now. Eric a half a B they've got on 7-inch as well, which I'm sorely tempted to buy. All right. I like that. And I collect Monty Python 7s. But they've brought out a reason. There was a new Monty Python Sings album that came out a few years ago that they have.

I know, but I'm interested in singles that's the thing I like the singles alright okay fine I'm more of an album person and also that is the

fabled section where I picked up Winky as well is it? yes so they've got good stuff there I saw this

thought of you because you're a fan of the film you're not really but you're sort of you're interested in the film. I'm fascinated with it, yeah. And it's the Howard the Duck music on 7-inch. Howard the Duck, the band's name is Dolby's Cube,

but it is Cherry Bomb in the film. Oh, they're called Cherry Bomb in the film? Yes. And Dolby's Cube is just, what's he called? Thomas Dolby. Thomas Dolby, yeah. Whose big hit was? She Blinded Me with Science and then Dolby. Thomas Dolby, yeah. Whose big hit was? She Blinded Me With Science.

And then Hyperactive. And Hyperactive, yeah. So he was kind of like an experimental, I guess he comes from that kind of electronica pop art, new wave sound. Yeah. Yeah? Sort of new wave synth.

I'm not talking about my arse. Yeah, new wave synth pop sort of stuff. But someone said- That is a new wavy hit. She Blinded Me With Science. It's a bit discordant a new wavy hit. She blinded me with science. It's a bit discordant and weird. It's a bit like Oingo Bongo as well. Yeah, yeah, it is.

A bit like that sort of stuff, isn't it? Yeah, B-52s. And B-52s. Just fringe kind of pop. It's that kind of area, definitely. Fringy synth pop. I don't know who thought, you know who we need to do,

who we need to get a hold of, to write the hot songs for our Harold the Duck movie? Thomas Dolby. Well, you know, but then he had a long career in film music after this. He kept doing it, didn't he? He had a very interesting

film career. I think there's a good Todd in the Shadows all about. She blinded me with science. Yeah, and then his later career. And ultimately helped create polyphonic ringtones, which changed phones.

Oh, he did that. So he made his money, didn't he? Yeah. I always thought he was also the same guy who invented Dolby Surround song. No, he did that. So he made his money, didn't he? Yeah. I always thought he was also the same guy who invented Dolby Surround, but he's not. He's absolutely not. That was his brother, Ken Dolby.

No, no, it wasn't. It was Ken Dolby who invented Dolby Surround. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Is he friends with Lenticular? No, he isn't. Yes, he is.

No, he isn't. Yes, he is. No, he isn't. How much? I want to suck your dick. Look, all the characters milling about in the i'm just checking the side corridor just pouring them out the bin just tell your characters to go down a few segments yeah yeah perhaps jump into the void at the end of the podcast you know what just

i'm just going to take a few minutes just to have some time alone up there for a bit bear with me bear with me. Paul! Paul? Where am I going? Why am I sad? Where is my longing? Why have I been mad? I just want to entertain you I don't mean to upset you If my characters are regretful

Then just know that I am sad for myself I'm so alone I'm so alone I'm here We had a little... Yeah, I just had to have a slight soliloquy to myself. Up there, fine. Did you look at the void? Yeah, I did. It stared back at me. Now, have we played a clip of that yet?

No! Right, let's play a clip of the theme song from How the Duck by Cherry Bomb, How the Duck. Get the planet on the phone Ain't no time to waste Tell him he ain't coming home The dog's a human race Call him out the duck No way to conceal it

There's a better touch I love him apart Call him out the duck It ain't fun, you don't feel it I like it, but it's trash. Terrible. I do like it. One side is better, though. How are the ducks better than Don't Turn Away? Don't Turn Away is the ballad that they put in the film that is just... It kind of put in the film that is just...

It kind of works in the film because you're distracted by all the visual stuff, but when you hear it on its own, you just realise how empathy it is. I'm going to play a little bit of that now. I don't know what went wrong Two people who have so much together Really ought to get along, yeah But something started to change inside of you And right out of the blue

Two friends Such not to give Don't know where you are What you're going through What are we trying to prove When it's hard to be To take on your shoulders Feels like the tears and pain

You could break down in my arms pain but it really hurts when you turn away and I can take and you just think oh god give us the fucking

loud synth and the rock guitar of Howl the Dog at least it's very almost hearing the Lurton News isn't it

a bit it's a little bit and also for some reason the mix doesn't quite sound as's a bit. It's a little bit. And also, for some reason, the mix doesn't quite sound as good as the film mix because when it does the Howard the Duck guitar

it sounds a bit more rocking and full on. On the film, yeah. But on the mix, on that, it feels quite low. Yeah, it's very low. The guitar doesn't

really poke through at all. Well, I'm delighted you found that for me because, again, I... You collect stuff like that. Yeah. It's got a picture of Howard the Duck

coming out of the egg. That was the poster, wasn't it? Yeah. Am I right in thinking Howard the Duck, the first true MCU film? It is the first official Marvel movie. Actually, they were actually involved. They were the studio. As far as I know.

Because they were Spider-Man, sort of made for TV Spider-Man films. Yeah, they were. He was in his baggy suit. Yeah. And from the 70s. And he just sort of chucks a rope up and he's like going up a rope. Chucks a rope up a big, oh there's a conveniently placed ledge, I'll throw it on

that and swing like a monkey. They didn't have the effects to do Spider-Man did they? But they tried. They did try. So I believe yes, officially speaking it's the first ever proper Marvel movie. But it had a strange tonal problem in that it was about a sort of cartoony duck

from outer space. When your kids adventure film starts with a shot largely of a female duck in the bath with their tits out, you kind of go, why?

Was that an appropriate choice? It's strange. I can understand the joke of there being female ducks in a bath. They're duck people though, aren't they? Add suds.

I don't need to see. And then he reads play duck. Yeah. And that is a duck. It's all sort of weirdly sexualized. So the first half is this weird kind of weird tonal mismatch of like crime noir, fish out of water kind of plot. And then seedy,

grubby kind of back streets. And here in the eighties, when like backstreet thugs weren't just thugs, they had to fall out of some post-apocalyptic movie. Some guy comes out of the dark and goes, I'm going to get you, buddy. What's this crazy duck? They always have this weird all in different clothes as well, with different types of ripped t-shirts, punks in these movies. Leather jackets and spiked helmets and things.

Might as well fucking wank off in this shoe. What? Are you all right? No. Of course I'm not. Now. How the Duck, though, has a scene where How the Duck works in a kind of sleazy sex house. And there's like sex and dirty towels everywhere. It's not just...

Oily. Yeah. And then the second half is basically men in black. But a guy gets taken over by an alien and races to try to bring down the evil overlords. Okay. So it doesn't... The plot doesn't make sense either. No.

And the second half is where I would say the fun comes in. The stop-motion monsters. There is some fun to be had there. Yeah. The roadside diner scene where he goes mad. Great. But overall, the film, it's too weird and nasty and a bit adult for kids.

The adults will probably think it's a movie about a fucking duck. Yeah. Yeah. Although, again, famously, Lea Thompson and the quasi-sexy seduction scene of a duck in bed with her in her pants

and it's just really awkward to watch. Really? It's awkward to watch. And she gives him a big feather boner. Oh, yeah. Five out of ten

popcorn bags. Fucking hell. So, there we go. How the duck. And that is our... Oh, wrap it up because Eli has to gamble his money

away tonight. That's why we're doing this on the fly. Right. Oh, that's it. Thank you for my trip and that is our oh wrap it up because Eli has to gamble his money away tonight that's why we're doing this on the fly right oh that's it thank you for my trip back to the late 70s

early 80s edition of Cheap Show that I put effort into curating but unfortunately we're on Eli's dime and he has to go gambling tonight

so that's it the episode's over ladies and gentlemen that's it ladies and gentlemen the episode's over we've got to wrap this up Eli did the whole wrapping up motion.

We're wrapping it up because Eli's got more important things to do than entertain you, his loyal and dear listeners, who he doesn't care about. Stop trying to shame me. He cares more about rolling a dice. Stop pulling back the fucking meat. He keeps rolling the dice. Stop pulling the meat truck out.

I'll pull out every truck I can. Meat, water truck, ice truck. Yeah. Ice cream truck. Name another truck. Candy floss truck. Chip truck. Candy floss truck.

Candy floss truck. Chip truck. Chip truck. Try saying that. Sweet shop truck. Sweet shop truck. Sweet shop truck. I'll pull them all out.

Those last three weren't real trucks. They were. They were all trucks that I've seen in my life. No, they're not. A van came round. That was that. Yeah. Came round where real trucks. They were. They were all trucks that I've seen in my life. No, they're not. A van came round. That was that. Yeah? Came round where?

Came round my place. Came round mine. Selling candy floss, ringing a bell. What did it do? He rang a bell. When it came round? Came round and got candy floss. Come round here.

Or sweets. He had a sweet shop in his van. He'd go round there. And he went round there and came round there. And he used to ring a bell. And what kind of van was he? It was like a big black van that had a big opening that you could go into. It had a sweet shop inside.

Oh, yeah? And candy floss. And he rang a bell. It's coming down the street. No, he didn't. He did. He rang a big bell out the window. There was a candy floss van.

We called it the candy floss van. Why? It was more like a sweet shop van. What? He just drove up and down the street at night. Well, he didn't have those. Did it have ice creams? No, there was an ice cream van for that.

It was a separate van selling sweets? Yeah. Did it have pictures of sweets on it? No, because you used to go into the back. You stepped onto a step and there was like rows and racks. And then he'd be at the door on the way back. Are you joking? No.

And then we'd just buy all the sweets there. No wonder you're so disturbed. And then there was this chip shop van in Cambridge when I lived there. Friday night, five o'clock. Chip van. Chip van. You used to drive around. Good portion of chips.

Anyway, they're the stories and memories I have, but we don't have time for them because Eli has to go gambling. I always have time for you, Paul. Why don't you come along? I don't want to go to a seedy, sordid nights of wayward minds and risky business. You're weird. You're really moralistic

about gambling. Has anyone close to you been destroyed by it? No, I just don't like it. Because that would be a reason. You've put money into a slot machine,'t you maybe once or twice and a scratch card no i just do something about gambling i don't like i don't like the risk of it i don't like having money in my hand one minute and then going oh but i might not have it in one minute's time because i've just done this instead you might have double it yeah but that's no i don't believe the odds are ever in my favor i I am not a particularly lucky person.

So I don't like to roll the dice on shit like that. There's no such thing as luck. I don't care. So I don't do it. All right, fine. It's a tangent within my life. I can see you're not interested, but you seem to go further than that. No, there's no real reason.

There's no big bird, no one in my path. Come on, I'm sorry I didn't go mad this week yeah oh goodness we shouldn't go mad every week it's nice it's lovely but you've made it abundantly clear you're tired of this and you want to go gambling i'm not so we're tired goodbye ladies and gentlemen thank you for listening to cheap show i've been paul gannon and i've been eli silverman thank you so much if you are a patron of the show thank you for supporting us on patreon if you are a patron supporter we do really appreciate it. Can I just say now, for the Patreons and anyone who's thinking of supporting the show, Paul.

Yeah. I've been completely underpantless during this episode. He's been full commando. So maybe that has affected somewhat my delivery. I haven't got the tightness around there. You know, I've got more of a soft nuzzle floss. I've got a fliffle-fluffle. Absolutely nothing. Right, so.

Fliffle-fluffle in the pantos. If you would like to decide. I'm getting a very soft denim nuzzlage, basically. That's the phrase I wanted to use, Paul. A denim nuzzlage. Ladies and gentlemen, if you would like to support us on Patreon, you now can. I just wanted to say, denim nuzzlage. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

My balls are being caressed by the denim nusslage. I've got a seam running straight up the side crack of my balls. Straight up there. Oh,

lift the seam. It's like a ball basket. I'm just going to let you set yourself out so I can carry on. You never will.

You're lucky I'm pressed for time. You're lucky, well, good. You're lucky I'm pressed for time. I'll tell you Well, good. You're lucky I'm pressed for time. I'll tell you what. Come on, finish the show.

Here we go. Do you want to know what my Twitter name is? Yeah, what's your Twitter name? It's Eli Snoddy, L-I-S-N-O-D. That's good. You can follow me on Twitter. Yeah, you can, can't you? People know about Nussledge.

People know about celery. All right, sorry. We're pressed for time, so let me just get on with this. All right. Alright, sorry, we're pressed for time, so let me just get on with this. Alright, so if you want to email us, you can at thecheapshowpod... Forward slash. At... Shit. Gmail.

Gmail.com. Thecheapshowpod at gmail.com. And that would be great if you want to get in touch with us on Twitter. My account is at Paul Gannon Show that's spelled at P

A why are you doing this stop taking too much time I'm getting in the shower I have to shower A I've built up quite a nuttle

it's all friction N friction with the nuttledge O N little fluffy balls balls of semi damp nuzzle. S. H. Little. O.

W. Shut up. And of course we have our Cheap Show account itself at the Cheap Show pod. I literally have to leave in 10 minutes. T. H. I'm going to miss the buy-in for the tournament. E. C. And then I won't be able to play. H. I'm going to ruin my whole night with this. E. A. I already said. able to play. I'm going to ruin my whole night with this. E-A-P-S-H-O-W.

And if you want to say anything to us on P.O. Box, you can. We have a P.O. Box address. It is Cheap Show P.O. Box 1279 Harrow H.A. 3 3 N.S. Right, that's it for another week. That's it. Thank you for joining us on Cheap Cheap, the economy comedy podcast and we'll see you same time same place. Unless you listen to it in a different

time and a different place. Oh, for fuck's sake. You come back now, have you? I want to say goodbye. I want to do a good job, Paul. Say goodbye. You just... Go, David. Oh, mate. I haven't recorded this we're going to have to start again shut up I don't even believe you

I didn't believe you for one second just fucking have some dignity and respect thanks everyone maybe prioritise the audience the podcast audience over your own addictions

listen mate you could have come round here earlier ladies and gentlemen I did come round here earlier you did not and you were too busy playing your records you said one piece I'm just trying to have a nice environment for us to record in well you failed I did come round here earlier. Ladies and gentlemen, I did come round here earlier. You did not. And you were too busy playing your records.

I'm just trying to have a nice environment for us to record in. Well, you failed. I did get the room ready. You failed, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to be late. It's unfortunate

this has had to end on such a sour note. Turn it off. Bye-bye. Now, Hordak reveals the most gruesome trap ever. The Horde Slime Pit. The what? The Slime Pit. Now, Spike, you're my slave.

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