CheapShow - Ep 192: Dunblobbin

Episode Date: August 21, 2020

Paul and Eli are back together in the House of Mash and this week, they pack in a HELL of a lot of content in under 90 minutes. Not only do you get some cheap eats, but you get a dash of tat treasure hunting, a sprinkle of Price of Shite madness and a long awaited dose of Country Urban Noodle Test-Lab Kitchen goodness. This week, Eli dabbles with a few "novelty noodles", Paul dives into a bespoke crate of goodies and we find out exactly what Eli would like to do to Mr Blobby's front door. Also, Paul get's possessed by "that voice". Hold on tight, this one is PACKED! And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-192-dunblobbin If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Podbible Interview: podbiblemag.com/2020/06/12/a-spec…show-celebration/ MERCH Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Paul is writing a book! Want to help make it happen? unbound.com/books/ghosts/

We are now recording. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. It's Eli Silverman here, and here's Paul Gannon. He also hosts it. I've got a house full of hoes, a house full of hoes. I heard a wet pussy bum. Ayo! Something like that, innit? That's all the kids are into. It's not. Can I just say, we have to, we will, I mean this is the unpleasant part, so, that WAP song, we're down with it.

We're all for it here at G-Show yeah we are I don't know it was a bit much for me it's just because you're used to a man saying dirty rap lyrics when a woman says it no that's not true it's gender it's gender um gender it's gender gender Lil Kim no it's Cardi B anyway Lil Kim the point she did it as well yeah years ago you just don't like women being front... Lil' Forger. No, it's... Sexualised. She said she wanted to gag.

Yeah. Like, that could be unsafe. Men do it. Men say that in rap songs. They go, oh, I want to put my thing in your doodah. I'm not saying I like rap. I'm not... Oh, God.

The point being... I'm not saying I like men. Can we start this bit? Let's start again. Here's the point I was going to make. Here's the point I was going to make. I think we should start again. The point being, right, is that we was going to make I think we should start again The point being right

Is that we're going to have to get the lawyers involved Because it's a steal From Teen Yeti's song Wet Hairy Yeti Yeah Wet Hairy Yeti Yeah that was a good one Yeah and

Before he really That was an underground one on a mixtape Well this is the thing It was one of his early tracks You know like it was His first early As you say mixtapes It was a mixtape track

They found it They were like Who the fuck's Teen Yeti We'll just rework the lyrics to make it more like, choke on a dick, give me pussy, go slick, and ticky ticky tock, don't stop. Ticky tock? Ticky tock, don't stop.

Lick my pussy till it don't drop. Oh, you know what, Paul? About 30 seconds ago when we started this episode, I had a little feeling of openness and friendliness and elan. I had some elan and I was going to... You had someone called Alan? How's Alan? Fuck me.

Oh, I see. You slurp. Welcome to Cheap Show, ladies and gentlemen. I am the one who slurps. You're not right. I am the one who slurps for you. Well, ask Pussy. Welcome to

Cheap Show. I really think we should do the intro one more time. Paul, I really do. No, welcome to Cheap Show.

Fuck! Welcome to Cheap Show. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles It's just a fact of Cheap Show You're gonna have to learn to fucking accept

Cheap Show Cheap Show Off-brand, brand-off, off-brand, brand-off. Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep. Cheep Show. It's the price of shite. Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheat Show. And I go and I nuzzle.

Eli thinks that was one of our worst intros. What do you think? Comment your comments in the comments below. There are no comments below, Paul. There are on SoundCloud. You can leave comments on the SoundCloud track. Do people leave comments? Yeah.

Great track or I remember that or ha ha ha. And then some are, I can help you get your track get to a thousand downloads. So subscribe to my bullshit fucking SoundCloud account. I'm taking clothes off. It's fucking up. It is hot. And you've been for a little run, haven't you? Yeah.

To get the sound card. Yeah. Is that what it is? SD card. Memory card. Yeah. Something like that. I had to get one because we didn't have one for various reasons.

We're peeling back the February. Wet ass pussy. We're peeling back the wet wet-ass pussy. We're peeling back the wet-ass pussy of behind the scenes. Oh, really? This is going to date this show. Is it? Yeah, it's already over with. You sound like Grandad. Oh. You sound like Grandad Gannon trying to jump on the pussy train.

I remember back in the day we'd all have a little sing song, remember? What songs did you sing, Grandpa Gannon? We sang Wet Ass Pussy, I seem to believe. And what other ones were there, though? I don't know. Shut up.

I'm throwing you the ball, man. Yeah? I'll do it. I'll be Grandpa Gannon. You be Grandpa Gannon. Hello, Grandpa. Oh, hello. This is going to be sessions in fact.

He's playing. Oh, I remember in my day we'd have songs. This is going to be Sessions' back. He's playing him. Oh, I remember in my day we'd have songs. Yeah? Like what, Grandad Gannon? Big Froppy Cocky. That was a good one. Mate, I'm throwing you a ball here. And there was...

It was that one, Leslie smells of seaweed. Right, sometimes on this show, ladies and gentlemen, we're a comedy economy codpiece. Comedy codpiece. We are an economy comedy podcast where we go through the bargain bins, the pound shops and beyond of Great Britain to bring you back the treasure amongst the trash. And wow, have we got a packed show for you today.

You'll be in constant anguish as you listen to us mangle the language. Yes, and on today's show we have, well, it's been a little bit of a while, but we're taking a proper trip back to Eli's Country Urban Noodle Kitchen. That's right. We've got a couple of noodles, Paul, that I have been absolutely in anticipation of eating. And telling everybody about it,

Paul, I'm going to tell people. Do you know what, Paul? Just going to turn you down. There we go. Do you know what, Paul? There's been an issue. There's an issue creeping in. A creeping issue with the pod. My creeping issue. Yes. Yeah. And it's a lack of noodles. It's a lack of noodles. Well, we're trying to rectify...

It's a lack of noodles and I'll be rectifying that not once. And? Not with one noodle of interest. No. We give you more. I do not have one noodle. I have two. God.

Two noodles of interest for you, Paul. Today on the Country Urban Noodle Test Lab Kitchen with myself. That's right. It's me, Eli Silverman. And I'll be tasting noodles. Bye everyone, I'm done with this fucking podcast. Fake walkout, fake walkout, he's done a fake walkout. What do we have coming up on the show Paul? I was just going to say, basically, without spoiling too much, they're slightly off the wall flavours today, aren't they?

Basically, without spoiling too much, they're slightly off-the-wall flavours today, aren't they? They are. No, in all seriousness, noodles are back, and we've got two blinders for you that everyone really wants to know what they taste of. And I'll be tasting them, and they'll... Oh, God, into it again, haven't I? Yeah, fucking hell, just stop. You tiresome troll. Right. Come on, Paul!

What have we got coming up on the show, mate? Well, remember, you got a box the other week and it had all those little viewfinder stuff and the little bits and bobs. It was a lovely box with no objects that were being censored by anyone. No, not at all. However, I can reveal now, because I've got the letter,

I picked up my box, because you had your box this week, it's my box, and there's a price of shite in it. Ooh, price of the shite, oh. And this comes from... Oh, content. I finally got it.

Firstly, hi, Paul and Eli. Sending a box of goodies. Say thanks for the countless hours of entertainment. Cal, who's 22. Thank you, Cal. Excuse the dreadful handwriting, prose, grammar, etc. I'll excuse it. So he's got a tell from the shop floor, which we'll read in a moment.

But before we get into that, there is a price of shite in here. But we've also got a few other random things so let's have a quick look at those quick look at the random things let's just dive straight into the show Eli let's just dive straight in let's just dive

let's just dive straight in splash right so I need to remove what we've got this for the moving out all the stuff don't look at that

has he sealed it yeah it's sealed that's the envelope answer nice touch Cal sealed bespoke price of the shite but you said it's a it's a special variant that we sometimes play. Is that right?

Yes, it is. It is the found, given, bought one. We have to find out which one of the items was given, what was found, and what was maybe donated. So it's more of a detective sort of thing where you deduct and you use inference. It's right here. One was a gift.

One was stolen. Oh, that's spicy up. Was one up your arse? Was one rubbed on the meters gingerly? Ginger, gingerly? Ginger meters. One was found and one was purchased. Oh.

Right. Was one fucking in a pile of shit like a tie that I touched Paul do you want to do an episode today or do you want to just I don't know just exist in Eli land

for a little while I'm here I'm here in the real world oh yeah because you sound like you're in Eli land today because I'm tuning in and out of you

as I try and hold this show together and every time I zone back into you it's all a bit tickle pickle one nickel and then I zone out I have not said that and then I come back in I haven't said all a bit, tickle, pickle, one nickel,

and then I zone out. I have not said that. And then I come back in, and you're like, I haven't said anything about pickles. Then you're all like, noodle, yes, oh, it's me, noodle, you demanded it, I'm giving it,

oh, noodle, oh, it's just like, just keep it concise, you rambling twat. Fucking hell. So, oh, let's have a look. Ganon Crate info. Let's go for a whiz-bang tour of this box.

Come on, then. Sweets. Opal Fruits. Limited edition. Nostalgic nuggets from Poundland. So in Poundland, they brought out Opal Fruits again, I guess, which are just Starbursts, but they used old wrapper designs. Oh, is that it?

Yeah. What's your position on Starbursts slash Opal Fruits? It happened about 30 years ago, so anyone who's still bothered about it Is a fucking dick spanner Oh is it like one of those things Like the thing Bat Whisper Is it one of those confectionery Yeah

Can't pop it out Call Snickers Marathon again Why Blue passports Fuck off Alright jeez But you know We like things

Old school things Yeah we do We say that stuff isn't good As good now as it used to be On this show Paul Don't we Yeah but we also say Some things are shit back then

and we shouldn't be extolling them now. Quick example. What's it called, a Snickers or a Marathon? It's called a Snickers, but they're going to bring back a limited edition Marathon wrapper. That's bullshit. It's bullshit, mate. You know what, Paul?

Snickers is a better name than Marathon. And it's probably been Snickers longer than it's ever been called Marathon now, right? Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, it's just like, you know... I know, because Mars Bar's been around since... We're closer to Cleopatra in time than she was to the building of the pyramids. Well, I did not know that fact. Is that true?

Yes. What am I meant to do with that info? Well, it just makes you go, well, man, time, man. I've got to recalibrate my whole mind space, dude. You know? 21 gigacox of electricity up my ass. Right. All right.

Okay, so. Talk about Eli world. All right. Okay. So, Uncle Foods. Talk about Eli World. All right. Poor world is all 21 giga cocks. Marty, I got a poor 21.1 giga cocks of energy up your ass. All right. All right. That did tickle.

Ass to the future. Oh, fuck's sake. Oh. I bet there is a bit of porn from Back to the Future. I don't even know why I'm trying to imagine it. It's been done. Oh, he's going to have sex with his mum. MILF porn.

I've had sex with my mum and my own dad. That's all porn now, isn't it? It's all big on the MILF stuff. I like it. No, not MILF. It's all like, I fucked my sister. Yeah, there's a lot of weird... My mum's fucking me.

It's all step-sister, step-mother. No, they they started to drop it now just like mom mom fuck me hello sis oh yeah yeah oh brother it's a bit disturbing with an erection why do you think it is because it's like the last taboo it's one of the it's one of the taboos and it's one of those taboos that probably has that lovely gray legal area but it's a huge upswing in that being the the storyline for one of a better word of for porn yeah the context yeah it's strange no it's good right so next thing is good i'm gonna give this to eli by the way spoilers game boy advance only

gamey thing he had i think all this stuff come it came from his attic basically or charity shop sales so he's giving me his game boy advanced the clamshell sp and it comes with mario kart that thing and a thing called game boy 54 super grand and what's that got on it 54 shit games i've already been through it there's there's a few poor knockoff that there's a mario land on there and stuff like that but the rest of it is called like grid games and Tetris knockoffs and simple. None of these games would have been... Into the mic, please. Fuck me. None of these games would have been manufactured by Nintendo?

Nope. So Nintendo licensed out the design? Or is this a pure bootleg? No, it's a bootleg. But it plays on the Nintendo device? Yeah. You can't get that now. They don't have like switch

games no you can't i mean even so far back as the three 3ds you can get basically rom cards that slap into it if you know what you're doing you can download loads of stuff onto it it's not that hard to hack the 3ds or to be fair the the ps feeder and things like that and turn them into emulators so can i have a little look at this yeah go have a little look it's a little game on see the thing is i've got loads of game boys and eli doesn't so i think you like you'd like that wouldn't you game boy color clamshell yeah yeah exact same look color and model as that so i've seen you with it i've now donated that to eli's hand museum oh is there any like uh mario platformers on this i don't know not on there's a there's a mario land on that the original one

like i just fucking said what mario land the original game boy yeah i've played bling bling bling on bling. Bling on. Bling, bling, bling. I've completed that. Bling, bling, bling. That's the one where you're on a fish on one bit.

Eli finishes a bloody thing about bloody Super Mario. My only achievement in his life was getting all the levels out of 3D Land

and being Luigi. Oh, I'm out of work and I struggle to do them creatively but don't worry I've finished a Nintendo game. Listen, mate, you can't and I struggle to do them more creatively but don't worry, I've finished the Nintendo game. Listen, mate, you can't have a go at me for being into a computer game. Have you seen it? I played

Luigi and got all the golden levels. I do not sound like this. And this next one's rock on. You've got to jump on this. Listen, Paul's Eli voice. I'm talking to Paul's Eli voice. Hello, Eli. Yeah. You. Yeah? Give Paul back. Come back. No. Come Hello, Eli. Yeah. You. Yeah. Give Paul back. Come back.

No. Come on, Paul. Come out of there. I can't get out. Come out of the Eli voice. I can't get out. And you, Eli voice monster. Go back to whence you came. Fuck my life.

Is there a built-in light on these things? Fuck my life My life Get him out Is there a built in light on these things? Yeah It's got a backlight to it now It does It's not very bright There's a little button on the front The little circular one

That should make it light or dark Oh it does Christ Anyway move it on That's excellent Next one Shrinky dinks Are they on there?

I might have You know what Some of these might be left at home That's a shrinky dink isn't it? That's nice I like that That's a shrinky dinks Are they on there? I might have You know what Some of these might be left at home That's a shrinky dink isn't it? That's nice I like that That's a shrinky dink of a cat What's a shrinky dink? It's one of those things

Oh you put it in the oven And it grows or shrinks Something like that You colour it in and then it shrinks Yeah something like that Like it used to do with Monster monks Monster monks

Yeah Monster monks There is one monster monk isn't there? No but there is one isn't there? No, but there is one, isn't there? Monster Monk. Rasputin. Yes. Ra, ra, Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen.

Had a big dick and he ruined Russian royalty. Yes, he did. Basically, innit? That is Puss in Boots. Made by my younger stepsister. Wet-arse Puss in Boots. For the angry man. Wet-arse Puss in Boots. Yeah by my younger stepsister. Wet arse-pussing boots. For the angry man. Wet arse-pussing boots.

Yeah. Oh, dear. Next. Roman coin. 50p charity shop find. Oh, there's loads of stuff in here. Oh, a little genuine Roman coin. Oh.

Do you know we're closer to the Romans than we were to the first episode of Mind Your Language on ITV? That's not true. It is true. It's not true. It is true. It's not true. It is. Oh, Rome and Britain. It's a little penny.

It's a little penny, isn't it? With Hercules. I mean, not Hercules. Yeah, it's not Hercules. Caesar? Yeah. Hercules and Caesar. It was Greek.

They grew up together. No, they didn't. They did. No. And they had a lemonade shop. Oh, God. Here we go. We're back to Eli land again.

And hello. Welcome to Eli land again. And hello. Welcome to Eli land. Ride the ship. But there's poker. Come to the noodle box. It's just by the big dipper. Come on, Paul. Where you go down a slide and the whole slide goes.

You're draining the energy from this broadcast. Right. Sherbet fountain mug. Also 50p charity shop. Fine. Look at that. Now this broadcast. Right. Sherbet Fountain mug. Also 50p charity shop. Fine. Look at that. Now, Paul. Eli.

I mean, there's been some fucking great items come out already. There's been a bang of box count. And I'm personally extremely pleased to receive this Game Boy device. Yeah. What is it? Game Boy Color? Game Boy SP. SP standing for what?

Uh... I don't know. Special parts? All right. What? Uh... No. Special... Parts? All right. Spoff Funnel. No, that's F. No, P-H spelled.

Oh! Spoff Funnel. The German rock band. Oh, the Spoff Funnel, Spoff Funnel, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Spoff Funnel, Spoff Funnel, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Unst, unst, unst. Pestan und kleinen limousinen, sit und Spaffanol. Spaffanol. Stop it. This is lovely. Save it all for next week. I like mugs with sweets on. Yeah, and that's a good one. Sherbert Fountain mug.

Classic. Got any thoughts on that? Did that used to have the licorice bit? Yeah. Oh, fuck that. I love the licorice bit. Oh, fuck off. I hate this mug. Next. It's a good mug. Do you want it? Yeah. that sure that used to have the licorice bit yeah oh fuck that i love the licorice fuck off i hate

this mug next it's good mug you want it yeah yeah what do you do um i just will imagine it's not got licorice in up next are they still available games for this like in sex or whatever yeah you can still buy them and stuff like that a couple of pin badges oh nice little i love pin badges and there's a little snowflake one and a little tigger from Winnie the Pooh. That's nice, isn't it? I love that. That'll go in my jar of badges. I've got a big jar of badges now.

I've got jar of badges as well. Yeah. Oh, look. That's a nice detail on this Tigger pin badge. The clasp is in the shape of Mickey Mouse. Mickey's head. Isn't it lovely? That's good.

You can see photos, by the way, everyone, of everything we cover... On the website, thecheapshow.co.uk. And, yes, a little snowflake one. There's so much in this box. Let's get through it. Okay. A football coin collected many years ago. Think Sainsbury's did them. And it's a little box with a coin in it, and it's got Gareth Southgate.

Oh, I recognise him. He's a football man. Wow. I don't know. What is going on with that? That's probably worth probably nothing, I recognise him. He's a football man. Wow. I don't know. What is going on with that? That's probably worth probably nothing, right? Yeah. Just for the record, it's probably worth nothing.

That is proper tat. There were two postcards here. Oh, God. Postcard. One from Crinkly Bottom at Cricket St. Thomas. Oh. Eli, describe what's on the card, what you can see if you go to Crinkly Bottom. Well, there's a big tree in a courtyard

and then there's a sort of outdoor giant chess set, it looks to the right, and a cafe behind there. Then you've got the facade of a sort of Victorian rural building. And then there's an inset little picture which has some other... God, that looks so terrible. Do you know what this is?

This is what happens when a man with no style or taste or understanding of, you know, architecture and appreciation of old architecture decides to put a crinkly bottom fun land. It's aesthetically abhorrent. It is, isn't it? Or utterly abhorrent. There's another picture of the card, I think taken from Holiday. Is this wank material? No, it's not.

It's just a building. Oh, it's a hole. There's a hole in that building. You could put a hole in that card, I think, taken from holiday. Is this wank material? No, it's not. It's just a building. Oh, it's a hole. There's a hole in that building. You could put a hole in that card and fuck done blobbing. Done blobbing? Yeah, I've been done blobbing. Well, it's after the lady's done blobbing that you want to... She's got the blob out.

There's many blobbings you could do. No, she's after... I put me blob in. It's after she's got the blob out. And then you put the blob in. Unless you want to get your... You don't want to do it when the blob's in. Oh, darling, let's have sex. Why, if you're done blobbing. Yeah, get your you don't want to do it when the blobs in oh darling let's have sex why have you done blobbing yeah thank you we're horrible people

oh no i will wank over this though yeah yeah it's got a lovely it's got a lovely opening it's got lovely tits on it oh it does and a pink opening gaping vag and it looks like a spread legs noel has a lot of stuff going on in his head. I want the building to look like a big WAP. I actually do like that. That is a photo. That's an actual photo that he took or a relative took. Yeah. Is this Cal? Yeah. Cal? Or his family. There's something about that photo that really appeals to me.

Yeah, you want to put your dick in it. All jokes aside, I don't wank over pictures of buildings. But honestly, look at that building. It's like Noel was like, Noel, what do you want it to look like? I want a big, big wet pink opening at that building. It's like, Noel was like, Noel, what do you want it to look like? I want a big, big, wet, pink opening at the front. And it does have areoli bits on the top, like nipples. And then I want the side of the building to look like two spread legs.

Yeah. And then I want it to have two tits on the top. You think, Noel, are you sure? And then I want it to have, like, the cold, dead eyes of my wife. And then I want to be able to run in and out of the house as fast as I can. Run in and out.

Every time I run in the house, I spit. And then I run back out. I don't know what I'm doing. Was that Noel speaking or you? Noel. Now, that is a truly terrible... Just the postcard. I forgot to mention.

Yeah. I'm talking to the mic. I am. There's a picture of Cuckoo forgot to mention. Yeah. I'm talking to the mic. I am. There's a picture of Cuckoo Land Town Hall. Yeah. So was it Cuckoo Land or Crinkly Bottom? It was Cuckoo Land was part of the town hall in Crinkly Bottom. As was Dun Blobbing.

Yeah. Dun Blobbing? I've Dun Blobbing. Oh, it's Blobby, Mr Blobby. Yeah, his house is called Dun Blobbing. Because he's finished Blobbing. No, because it's named after that royal building. Dun Robin.

No, what's the name of it? Dun Luddy. What's the place the Queen goes to? Don Nuxfield. Don nothing. I'm Don Nuxfield. I'm a boxing promoter. Oh, here we go.

The birth of another fucking glorious character. Yeah, Don Nuxfield. Right, awful. You got a fight? No, you could... That's a Jimmy Biscuit. That is not a Jimmy Biscuit. Don't you fucking dare.

What? I respect Mr. Biscuits. How fucking dare you? You stop doing that voice right now. I'm Dan McNubbin. Finally in the box for now. Oh, a poker chip. Mysterious, no memory of how I received it.

Let's pass it on. This is a poker chip from Vegas. Oh, Vegas. High Roller Casino. It's not real. let's pass it on this is a poker chip from Vegas oh Vegas high roller casino it's not real I think it's like a tourist chip from the airport

or something okay well that's still I like the hologram I like the hologram it doesn't seem to be oh maybe no there is a high roller the casino is called

high roller casino oh yeah I don't know but it might be a souvenir one you can buy that's different from the ones

you play in the game I like the weight I like the weight of chips it's weird that you're right the fact that it's the weight. I like the weight of chips. It's weird that, you're right, the fact that it's central balance is off

when you hold it on your fingertips. It weighs, it's got a weight to it. I like the hologram on it. Well, there was a big scandal where these people

manufactured them. Forged them. Yes. And what, Lenlo, just bought their own. What they did in the end is they used loaded they

stole low denomination chips right and then what they painted yeah did a sticker everything repainted it but they instead of trying to actually rebuild because it's really it's a weird epoxy sort of mix that they actually use they couldn't get that oh but yeah they did it for a long time and they got away with it yeah they would take $4 chips or like $1 chips and turn them into $100 chips. Wow. And how do they get caught? Do you know?

Some guy walking in with big bags. Hello! I've won all this money! It was basically one of them was a sort of long-term criminal who had drug problems sort of thing. Oh, and he shat the bed on the whole deal. He was overspending or, you know. There you go ladies

and gentlemen you got to be careful when you gamble because you know gambling is a dangerous addictive thing and you shouldn't do it so say paul yeah but they weren't gambling they were committing theft oh yeah they weren't they were just feeding so okay i'll rephrase it don't do fraud ladies and gentlemen don't manufacture poker chips for a gambling casino. It's only going to get you into trouble. So say Paul. Okay, Paul. Now, I'd like you to have a little word with Don McNubbin. Hey, Paul!

I heard you're in some legal trouble. I can represent you. Paul Gannon refuses to engage in conversation with this particular character. I'm Don McNubbin. What's the problem here? Don McNubbin is one of... You're doing a Jimmy Biscuit, and I do Jimmy Biscuit. I'm Don Mcnubbin.

I'm a completely unique creation. I'm Adolescent Sasquatch, and I'm back from beyond the grave. You can't come back. No, you can't. You're dead. I fucking can. I've just fucking done it. Is that how you want to play this?

I'm not going to talk to Don Mcnubbin. I'm not going to talk to you then. That's how this segment ends. All right, then. Where's the price of shite? We're going to do that later at the end of the show. We're going to go back then. Where's the price of shite? We're going to do that later at the end of the show. We're going to go back to the box for the price of shite, all right? Now it's time for tales from the shop, shop, shop, shop floor.

Yes. So, Cal also sent us such tales from the shop floor. Now, one of my girlfriends helped me pack this, because obviously I've been living out of a suitcase, blah, blah, blah. She put it all together. Long story short, she read the Tales from the Shop floor, and she went, that's disgusting. Your podcast's dirty.

And I went, I'm sorry. Oh, no. Right, here we go. Tales from the Shop floor. This story takes place a few years ago in a premium supermarket that I will dub Sparks and Mensers. Oh. I think it means Waitrose.

You know when you just put Sparks and Mensers, and we all know what it is? You may as well just write Marks and Spencers, mate. I think he means Waitrose. You know when you just put Sparks and Mensers and we all know what it is? You may as well just write Marks and Spencers, mate. I think he means Waitrose, though. No, I think he means Sparks, Sparks, Sparks. I can't even say the real name now. Marks and Rec. Marks and Spencers. Spunk.

Marks and Spencers. Right, good. Wait. Now, our clientele. Spunk. Sorry, I'm sorry. All right, Marks and Spencers it is. Now our clientele skewered towards the older end, who would often use our facilities. However, on this fateful day, an older lady approached me and asked if she could make use of them. I informed her that I was sorry, but they were currently out of order.

She seemed clearly distressed, but thanked me nonetheless. So at this juncture in the story where do you think it's going to go mr silverman old lady shit on floor yeah old lady shit on floor here we go now the toilets were never fixed now the toilets were never fixed for long so they had a near permanent out of order sign on them and as so yeah see this is can I just interject here yes why don't you I hate it when they just at the moment's notice they they put them out of order don't they it's

because they don't want to deal with it or maybe during their shift they want to they don't want to deal with a big load of bangers and mash I know no one wants to

deal with a big load of bangers and mash Paul yeah or even just one huge mash like yeah or a banger or just piss splash everywhere. Or like, yeah. Or a banger. Or just piss splash everywhere. You know what I mean? Or like the gargantuan,

almost solid, gravity-defying mass of a hugely obese man's dense poo. Oh, God! Or even the hot, steaming slurry of a gravy bowl's worth

of wet, formless arse mess. know listen i wasn't trying to be mean to people who work in these shops but you know well i think it's important that that large shops have toilets right i think it's part that's what i'm saying now the toilets were never really fixed for long so that means you're fixing the what's wrong with the fucking toilets people like you leave hot long i do i would like to tell you you've told me stories about how you've wrecked the public i have not you went mate i would go in there i wrecked it i wrecked i meant i wrecked it in terms of the smell stings smell stings no i would never shit

on the floor of a toilet paul i can't believe i have to say that to you that you think i'm the type of person who would just what do a smeary dirty protest and then tell you about it do you think that's who i am you we've been known each other for years you think i'm a i'm a fucking mystery poo person i don't think you're a mystery poo person i just think you're a very messy fecalist right so anyway sign on the door saying out of order three to four days after my brief meeting with the elderly lady, we noticed a particularly pungent smell coming from one of the said out-of-order toilets.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. The smell was somewhat fecal, but also had that mouldy food and was almost acidic to the nose. Oh, I know, it's the old shit gone off. It's mouldy, granny shit. Naturally being relatively new, I was sent to investigate what I found was a horrendous sight

which will stay with me for as long as I live. It always do. And will now stay with everyone else who listens to this story. Isn't it funny, Paul, how the form has developed, the form of...

The letter. The Tales from the shop floor letter how they always say and it will stay yes and i was about to see something that would it's like an hp lovecraft it's fucking story isn't it equivalent on bullseye when they say well we've had a good day jim but we'd like to go out with the price give another guy a chance and you think all right mate we know right here we go so elderly lady... He set it up as tangy. He's really good. Good on the detail of the smell.

Really evoked it for me. The elderly lady from a few days previous... Oh. Had died. What I found was a horrendous sight. What I saw was the elderly lady from a few days previous... Is she dead? Dead granny?

Face down, rear end exposed, granny panties at her ankles, off colour, and very clearly dead. Oh, no. Oh, God. You know what? This is one of those situations where, for as long as I live,

yeah, if you walked in and saw that, that would stick with you for a while. Putrescent granny. Yeah, putrescent granny with a necrotic hole boy. Oh, it wasn't. Paul, you built that up, didn't you? You knew. No, I didn't. I haven't read this until just now. That's why I'm reading it poorly. So I rushed off and informed my boss.

An ambulance took her away and we closed for the day and a half. No shit. We were never told the cause of death, only it was natural causes of age, I assume. However, as a final cause of death, only it was natural causes of age, I assume. However, as a final twist in the story, it was later noted she had made use of the toilet

and her lady plops remained in said toilet until it could be fixed and blocked around another three days later. Oh. Thank you for sharing my pain. Sorry for the lack of spunk. Yeah, there was enough in that. There was enough in that.

No, don't worry about the lack of spunk. If there'd been spunk, I mean, we might have had to draw the line. Yeah, on Annie of spunk. Yeah there was enough in that. There was enough in that. Don't worry about the lack of spunk. If there had been spunk I mean we might have had to draw the line. Yeah on Annie's grass cheeks. Annie's grass cheeks

did you just say? Annie's ass cheeks. Granny's ass. Annie's grass cheeks. Paul I don't. That's really darks me out. That darks me out.

God you know because you don't know when you're going to die, right? You know, we don't know when it's going to happen. And some people get noticed as well as us get. It's sad. To quote Red Dwarf, mind that bus, what bus splat. That's very undignified. But can you imagine going, oh, I need to poo badly. And then you go in there and then suddenly in those moments,

you know you're going to die and you're going to be found like that. With your arse in the air. Yeah, and covered in fecal matter. Oh, well, at least the ambulance will sort her out, you know. going to be found like that. With your arse in the air. Yeah, and covered in faecal matter. Well, at least the ambulance will sort her out. What does that mean? Bring her back to life? No, they'll clean up

the corpse so that the... This fucking podcast. They'll clean it up, Paul, so that the family, that she has some dignity in death. You know what I'm saying. It's a positive thing, I'm saying. Oh, she looks really peaceful in her death. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying. It's a positive thing,

I'm saying. Oh, she looks really peaceful in her coffin. Yeah, she does. They've done a wonderful job bringing the colour back to her cheeks. What did she die of?

Shat herself to death in Sainsbury's. You know what I mean? Yeah, nasty. What do you mean? Oh, yeah, they found her face down and shit with her arse out.

Well, at least it could have been a hairy small man wanking her. Ooh! I don't know. I don't know. Don't just try and posit me in these situations. a hairy small man. Wanker. Who? I don't know. I don't know. Don't just try and posit me in these situations. Hairy small man.

It's a letter from... We don't even know who this is, Paul. How could I have been there? Or anywhere near it? I couldn't have been. Sounds like you protest too much. I don't know. Right, that's that done.

All right. Ah, what's this, ladies and gentlemen? Why, it's the ruffle and the scruffle of a feral Eli going through his bag of noodles. Yes, sir. He hauls his noodles for the winter months, and right now he's delving through his noodle bag to bring us something rather special today on a noodle segment of Cheap Show. Yeah, Paul, I think the one I'm looking for

was sent to us quite a while ago, so I'm going to have to scruffle around here. He's scruffling around. I'll describe the bag to you. It's made of like a kind of sackcloth thing with stitches. Stop trying you. It's made of like a kind of sackcloth thing with stitches. Stop trying to... It's not.

It's a plastic bag from Sainsbury's. I'm trying to make it more magical, like the noodle bags are magical. Come on, don't make it grubby. Like a woodland... I don't know. It's like an acorn upside down. Make it gold. Gold braid.

And then there's... How about angelic fairies all dancing around my head. Let me have another go. Okay, I'll describe the bag for you now, ladies and gentlemen. It is a gold chain mail kind of sack encrusted with jewels along the rim and the deeper you go down into the bag,

the more the light of God you see. Found it. Oh, he's found it. There you go. He's put the bag down and there they go, little angels flying off now. The bag's been it. There you go. He's put the bag down. And there they go, little angels, flying off now. The bag's been opened.

They send angels to protect the opened bag. And they're flying off now. Yes, there you go. Bye-bye, angels. Bye-bye. Ah. Angel fairies. Angel fairies around Eli's noodle bag.

They have a lovely scent. Do they? What do they smell of? Dew. What, like wet grass? A bit like wet grass, yeah. I don't know. That's not a nice smell, is it? They get their sprinkles all over me

Yeah? Yeah Tinkle sprinkles God almighty Paul Yeah Just before I go I tell you about what I will be preparing and tasting

And you'll be tasting a bit as well, won't you, Paul? Yes, I will I'm looking forward to this one I just want to mention this one Indomie chicken pepper soup flavour I think it's a new one from indomie and they are a heavyweight on the noodle scene um or indomie i don't know how it's pronounced they do fantastic ones are they spicy pepper or like sweet pepper spicy oh good nice that looks good doesn't it yeah it looks nice pepper that's good i think we tried one of those like the the onion chicken

that was indomie do you remember that oh yes it was that was nice but it was comfort food he played but that's what i mean to be big in this game yeah you find that the ones that really have the staying power and the real favorites of mine are the more simple noodles i mean i know i go on about three sachets four sachets this special flavors but it's the ones like coca, the coca crab flavour. Yeah. For me, it's a two packer. You've got one oil pack, you've got one soup base pack.

That's all you need. That's all you need. Boom, bat, bip, pimp it, up the schlizzle, blango. See, you were doing a perfectly good sentence then, and then all of a sudden it went, bing, bang, blamo, slap, slap, diddle, diddle, bom, bom. So, that is the Indomie new chicken pepper soup flavour. Lovely. Lovely.

That looks lovely. But, Mr. Silverman, what are we going to be developing in the Country Noodle Urban Kitchen today? Two noodles which are quite outlandish in character, Paul. Unusual, if you will. First, we're going to do a Pringles noodle. Ah, now, we got those sent a while ago, didn't we, on the show? These are proper pot noodle style or, you know, box noodle, cup noodle,

whatever you want to call it. These are noodles that have their own preparement containment enclosed around the noodle. This show has become like a tightrope where I watch him begin a normal, perfectly normal sentence and then wonder what syllable, what vowel, what asonistic moment will lead him on a fucking... Assonistic moment?

I don't know. I probably made that up. Yeah, you fucking did. But you know, there's assonance. That's a proper fucking thing. Yeah. I made up a word which has sounds from other words.

Wow, you genius. Right. You assonist. I've got two Pringles noodles sent to us. Oh, you're doing two today? They have their containers. They're like cup noodles. I'm not going to go. I've got two Pringles noodles sent to us. Oh, you're doing two today? They have their containers. They're like cup noodles. I'm not going to go down that route.

But one, I'm not going to use. It seems to be a seafood one, Paul. Oh, okay. You can't taste. We'll say that for another special occasion. That's fine. But more interesting in any case is this one, because this seems to be an actual Pringles flavour

that they turned into a Pringles noodle. Yeah, because we weren't sure what the relation was between the noodle brand an actual Pringles flavour that they turned into a Pringles noodle. Yeah, because we weren't sure what the relation was between the noodle brand and the Pringles and we're guessing it's just the flavours based on the flavour of Pringle. Look at this drawing on the cover of this Pringles noodle. Oh, it's a sour cream and chive image. This is a sour cream and chives Pringles

sour creams and chive flavour noodle. Do you think that will work? It could well do. Well, let's find out. What are your feelings about that as a sort of flavour profile in the first place? I'm not a huge fan of sour cream and chive.

You're not? Well, you know like you get... I like them. It's always the most boring dip you get with takeaway pizzas. They all go, ah, fucking have the cheese, you know, the garlic and chive.

I like the garlic and herb. I like it. It's all a bit boring for me. So that sounds like a boring flavour or a flavour that doesn't work. So I'm not even a fan of the Pringles

sour cream and chive. What I'm interested in... Gritty. Chive. The chive is basically just an onion flavour, isn't it? I've seen an onion flavour in noodles before, Paul. We've all seen it. We've all seen it. And I won't go so far as to say again that they

don't do onion crisps, alright? They do do fucking onion crisps, everyone, yeah? But not usually. And you remember that? I've moved on. Mentally, I've moved on. All right, no problem.

But I'll be interested to see how they get the sour cream flavour. Is it going to be a mouthfeel thing? Is there going to be a wet pack in there? We just don't know. We just don't know. We just don't know, Paul. But we'll report on that when we've done it. We're going to report on that. I'm going to go

and prepare that but I will also be preparing this, Paul. This was also sent to me. Yeah. I think there might be a little letter in here with it. Yes.

Doesn't it look exciting? Dear Cheap Show. Oh. Not a good first sentence, Paul. I'm not going to lie to you. Go on. Sorry these are out of date. Right, good.

Okay, good to know. But I hope you both enjoy these limited edition cheeseburger super noodles. I'm going to take to you. Go on. Sorry, these are out of date. Right, good. Okay, good to know. But I hope you both enjoy these limited edition cheeseburger super noodles. I'll be... I'm going to take a risk. They are pretty good. How out of date

do they have to be to be badly out of date? You know what I mean? Like... Years. Okay, because they're freeze-dried, so... Yeah.

If it's a few months, I'm not... If it's a year, I'm not even that bothered. But if it's like 10 years, you'd be like, nah. Then it's into Ashen's territory. Yeah, then it's into

mouldy grit and foamy... Taste of rot. Yeah, rot. It all tastes of rot after a while. Foamy rot. Yeah. But I will be having a close inspection visual pat-down of this noodle, Paul. And, you know...

Yeah. And I will check. If there's any mould in there, I'm not going to serve it up to us. All right, cool. No, thank you. I'm just responsible. Eli is a responsible noodle-ist. I certainly am.

I'm a noodle-ist. Now... Shut up. You shut up. No, you do. I certainly am. I'm a noodle-ist. Now, shut up. You shut up. No, you do. I'm not saying anything in a couple of seconds. Limited edition cheeseburger noodles. Super noodles. Now, I've got opinions about super noodles as a brand, Paul.

Yes. And they're not positive. They're not. I don't really like them either. It's sloppy mech. Yeah. Mech. It's not mech.

I don't know what the fuck I was trying to say there. It's not a sloppy robot. Sloppy mech. Aha. I am sloppy mech. Yeah. Mech. It's not mech. I don't know what the fuck I was trying to say there. It's not a sloppy robot. Sloppy mech. Aha. I am sloppy mech. Oh, God. I spoff. Therefore, I am.

Stop you. I'm Don McNubbin. Come here. Oh, God. This show's awful. Yeah. Well, you decided to go for it with that character. Yeah, I know.

You shouldn't have. Now. Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen. If you're looking for character action, next week's the one for you. Cheeseburger super noodles. Now, my prediction, Paul, is that they're going to have a huge,

one single huge sachet, because that's super noodle style, isn't it? Like, full of, like, flour. Yeah. To make it all gluten. It's like pot noodle dust. Yeah. Hey.

Exactly right. Thank you very much. Hey. Here's a thought. No, that was good. That was a little good. Thank you. Pot noodle dust.

Good. You're contributing to the discussion I'm doing my best because fucking hell you struggle so so here's the thing when it comes to the flavour

how about this for a theorem we've had crisps in the past that have been like cheeseburger flavour do you think it'll be a pickly flavour yes

I think that's all that these people have to go on. Because they go, what does it taste like? Well, there's lettuce, there's tomato, there's cheese. Can't really get those. There's meat flavour, there's bread flavour.

And then there's ketchup is also. But the one thing that is sort of... Universally held. It's symbolic of the whole burger. Yeah, it's the pickle. And it is a flavour, it's a distinct flavour. Is that a McDonald's affectation? Like McDonald's sort of throwing pickles in?

I think it's been there from the beginning. It's an American affectation probably, isn't it? It's because it's a hamburger, right? Which is from Germany. And pickled gherkins are very German as well. Oh, because of the whole sauerkraut stuff. Oh, there you go. It was a German thing, wasn't it?

Well, out of the two, what are you most excited about? What do you think is going to be the one that slays you? I'm interested. I think the Pringles is going to be nicer. Yeah. I'm slightly biased against Super Noodles. Yeah. It's just muck. It's terrible muck, but some people like them. Who makes it?

Bachelors. Yeah, you see it's this weird, it's like a very British thing, isn't it? Bachelors who make cuppa soup, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So bachelor's who made cuppa soup, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they go from a cuppa soup, yeah, but they come from the cuppa soup angle. So what they're basically doing is they're adding a dried noodle to a cuppa soup. Yeah.

That's why it's all that sloopy goop, isn't it? It is just a cuppa soup with fucking noodles in it. Yeah. Fuck them. And I reckon that's going to be shit as well. But I reckon you're right, there'll be a distinct gherkin, because I think that's one of the flavours that they can distill easily.

But do you know what we tried, didn't we? Cheeseburger, hamburger flavour, were they? Or cheeseburger flavour? Oh, yeah. Did that have pickle? I can't remember now. They did. But did you remember they had a very interesting,

they've achieved that sort of greasy griddle, smoky griddle flavour as well, haven't they? That's right, yeah. They managed to get that. I don't think they're going to achieve anything like that

so what I'm trying to say is they have they are sort of improving burger flavoured things all the time because that was

interesting because it had the gherkin and it also had that you know like the meat meaty sort of burnt flavour as well

but those aren't going to have it so I've finished reading this letter please do referring to these cheeseburger super noodles which are a special edition.

Yeah. If they don't take your fancy feel free to pass them on to Stuart Ashen's as we know he loves an out of date cupboard find.

Big fans Ben and Katie. Thank you Ben and Katie. If there's one person who does not need sloppy seconds it's Stuart Ashen's from

this show. Yeah. If they don't take your fancy they do take our fancy. Well we take our fancy. Yes we take our fancy. Well, we take our fancy. Yes, we take our... I take a fancy-pantsy.

Here we go. Here we go. When he has nothing to offer, he offers more nothing. Now, Paul, I'm going to prepare these very plainly and I'm going to try

and follow the instructions. Yeah, because super noodles is like slop, throw the noodles into a boiling water pan, bring it to boil, throw the sauce pack in or the powder pack, let it absorb for four minutes and then serve and eat. So that's just the most simple.

But you keep it on the hob the whole time? Yeah. It's got to be boiling the whole time. And this will be, and this like, you just pour in and it may have a grill. I think this has got a grill. It's one of the fancy ones with a built-in grill to drain the water off. I bet it's got a squidgy pack as well, which is sort of... I bet it might even have...

It seems to. Look at those little things. What are those little white blobs? They're no little white bloblets or something. I think those are blobs of the sour cream, which are going to be in a big wet pack. It's going to be fascinating, isn't it? I'm going to splodge out.

So, join us after this sound effect, and we'll be testing and eating these noodles. Thank you very much. Bye-bye for you that was no time at all for us it was a good six or seven minutes but we're back from the urban country noodle kitchen hey and it's what you hit oh hey what come here if you want to see what happened be a patron we'll put the video up and you can see what it's like in the country of a noodle kitchen test lab food time spoiler alert it wasn't scintillating no it's the same shit we've always filmed and put up online but if you want to see it be a patron.com

forward slash cheap show before me paul i have two freshly prepared instant noodles right i'll wait for those two then because you said before you there were two noodles, I'll wait for those two then. Because you said before you, there were two noodles. So I'll wait for them. And then when they've done their bit, then you can come on. Right. Where can I go with that? Nowhere. It was just for me.

It was for me to go, aren't I clever with my adept use of the English language? And now I can meld it to my whims. Now, Paul, having had a look and a little sniff of the cheeseburger limited edition super noodle, I think we should do that first to get it out of the way. Get it out of the way, mate. Because as we predicted, Paul...

During the cooking, yes, we noticed. It has a very artificial gherkin-y flavour. That's what they've gone for. Very slimy as well. Well, I think that's not the cheeseburger aspect. That's just super noodles. That's just super noodles. They have a weird way.

That's the other way that they get you to do it. They get you to simmer them. Oh, God, it smells unpleasant. Like what? Like sick and onions. Sick and onions? Yeah. Sick and pickle.

Yeah. It's like bio. It is puke and pickle. The puke is the cheese, I believe. That's the cheese flavour. Do you know what I mean? But it is very vomity. There should be a law about when you can use the phrase special edition.

You know, like special edition Coke cans. No, there's nothing special edition about them. There's nothing special edition about super noodle fucking burger flavour. Right. You can have a little taste. Here we go. I'm going to go first with this one. Oh. What's it like?

It's just horrible. Really? Is it really bad? It's not uneatable. It's just plain. It's plain in that super noodle way they are. With kind of slightly rancid pickle aftertaste. It's unpleasantly pickle. And I mean, that's not something I say lightly.

No. It's a very artificial pickle flavor the thing about it is there's no burger there it's just slop gloopy normal boring super noodle texture and then after that it's a bit of pickle aftertaste very very not good there's some cheese there's a cheese flavor there yeah but i think that's just the texture i think the texture is tricking you into think there's a cheesy flavour, when actually it's just gelatinous puke. Now, it's because of the way they tell you to cook them. Because the way they tell you to cook super noodles, and these included, is you put them in the boiling water, and then you simmer for four minutes,

which is longer than a lot of noodles take anyway. And it says until it's absorbed all the moisture. So they're going for that slimy yeah very sort of moist fully but the thing is extended noodle you know but the thing is it takes all the liquid on and it sort of stodges out yeah you know but that's the logic of pasta wet noodle pasta you do that with pasta you throw and you use it to boil off and absorb and that's pasta that's noodles you just want you know what i mean you wouldn't do that with pasta either no no you wouldn't boil off the water but what i'm saying is the process of pasta

is oh you boil off the water you know you boil the water and it reduces and it absorbs the pasta yeah whereas this is much more less instant isn't it because it's almost like we're cooking them you want them just to go for like two minutes it's either it's a soup or you drain it off there's no let the noodle be absorbed yeah i know they're unique in the world of instant noodles and i think it's it's part of their whole dodgy background of coming from a cup of soup company because it was a cup of soup essentially i mean look put it this way if the governments of this country ever get their way and just ban education for poor people then all of a sudden pot noodles and super noodles will be done with

overnight because that's the audience, isn't it? It's student union folk. Yes. Now, moving on to something I think altogether... After my slightly pointed political moment. A little bit classier is this Pringles. And we've done a bit of translation work, Paul, and it is indeed onion and...

Sour cream. Sour cream flavour. So it doesn't say chive, but maybe that's because chive is a western-y kind of thing. Well, it could be sort of a green onion as well. True. Couldn't it? Yeah. Now.

So what's the hoof? Very onion-y. And very, very reminiscent of a Pringle. Really? Yeah. You smell. All right. Oh, yeah.

Smells like a Pringle. It does smell like the tube of sour cream and chive. How can I eat? All right. He's going in. He's taking it all. Right. I'll have a go. Much moreive on the other thing. I'm going to eat. Right, he's going in. He's taking it all. Right, I'll have a go. Much more going on.

Nice texture. Nice umami sort of mouthfeel, which comes from the oil pack that was added. And very oniony. My turn, Daddy. Nice and salty. You know what I mean? Yeah, that is salty, but not overly salty. Yeah.

You know what? That's actually really nice. That's a proper comfort food flavour to me, that is. Nice texture on the noodles. Yeah. And do you know what that's actually really nice yeah that's a proper comfort food flavor to me that is nice texture on the noodles yeah and you know i mean about the oil the oil makes it sort of it makes the flavor linger yes yes it delivers a sort of flavor yeah now that's what i mean that's the difference in instant noodle technology there yeah you know that is bachelor just that whoever designed those noodles for them it's a the British. Why do they like nasty, sloppy, stodgy noodles? We've always been a stodgy country.

Think about roast dinners and English breakfast. But that's the type of thing they do flavours of, Bachelor, don't they? For their stupid noodles. Yeah. Now, I mean, we both can agree. That's just... You know what? That's delicious.

If you ever come across that in the wild, pick it up. If it's not too expensive, that's a nice little snack, that. What a lovely little surprise. Pringles. It's probably not high-end. Do you know what I mean? It's probably not posh, but... It's not posh.

It's a lovely comfort. It's common food, but the manufacturers, I think we mentioned before, Ace Cook. Okay. And the person who sent this also mentioned, or someone on Twitter said to me, that Ace Cook do a lot of good things. So they're not just... They have their own stuff as well, not just brands. okay and the person who sent this also mentioned or someone on twitter said to me that ace cook do a lot of good things so they're not just they have their own stuff as well not just brands something we will investigate i'm sure because that is a very nice noodle can i have a little bit more that's really nice i don't often get the chance to have more and this is pleasant you have

more and um spin it around me fork tastes like pringles as well so on accuracy it does well the league of noodles yeah that's good you're right very good it's got a really nice buttery aftertaste which makes that another bite yeah oh addictive mouth addicting so mr silverman out of 10 what would you give opposite ends of the scale there really is we could someone might say we're being unfair because they were out of date i think i don't think that's a factor it doesn't seem to be I think it would be hard to guess whether Super Noodle are out of date or made yesterday.

Yeah, I know. They are. There's no difference. Glutinous, sloppy, flavourless, shite. I'll give it a three out of ten. Yeah, I would give that, yeah, three.

Maybe, no, it's not unpleasant, so I'll give it a three. I'll say that for it. Three, you know. It's not nice and I don't understand it and the gimmick is horrible.

It wasn't actively disgusting, the flavour, was it? It just wasn't very good. But it kind of nice and i don't understand it and the gimmick is horrible actively disgusting the flavor was it it just wasn't very good but it kind of shows that you don't have the balls to maybe do a proper burger flavor because not everyone associates pickle with burgers so i just think it's a hiding to nothing yeah because of the problems the structural problems it's not one flavor burger is not one thing no it's not like lemon that's lemon no taste of lemon we know what a lemon is you get it you eat it you taste it a burger is an one thing. No. It's not like lemon. That's lemon, no taste of lemon. We know what a lemon is. You get it, you eat it, you taste it, it's lemon.

A burger is an item which can be prepared in a number of different ways. A number of different ways with a number of different meats. A number of different ingredients. Yeah. There's no universal. And they seem to be trying to look for a shorthand, which is like cheese vomit flavour, like artificial cheese flavour and gherkin. What they're saying is... Scratch and sniff gherkin flavour.

They're basically just... They must have in a bottle called E62 gherkin. What they're saying is... Scratch and sniff gherkin flavour. They're basically just... They must have in a bottle called E62 gherkinanoid or something. I bet it's called gherkinaflavanoid. Gherkinaflavanoid. I bet it's called... Go on. No, it's not happening.

He's been asked to be creative and he's floundering. Let's see where he goes. What is it going to be called? Pickle oil. Wow. Pickle oil. Pickle lily. What about despicolation called? Pickle oil. Wow. Pickle oil. Pickle Lily. What about

despicolation? Come on, mate. Like distillation, but despicolation. What about Spoff pickle ding dong billy bolly what what bong bong hey ho, hey ho, willy smicky pinky winky poo. How about that

po? What about a little wiggly wing dingy bongy dingy bongy bing bing bing I'm the twat man How about that, Paul? What about a little wiggly-wing-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee-boom-dee got control of Paul's body once again. Ah, what the fuck? Oh, he's got a nice dick. Oh, I like that. Oh, beans. Hang on, what's going on? Help! Help! Come back to us. Let's just wrap this up. Would you? Now, we need a mark. We need a mark for the Pringles. Yes, Pringles. Oh, eight?

Eight and a half? I'll go for an eight, yeah. Yeah, eight and a half, I'm going to be, because that was comfort food. Nice, tasty pickles. I mean, Pringles. But I tell you what, I look forward to episode 200 that was nice tasty pickles I mean Pringles but I tell you what I look forward to episode 200 because I think we should try the other

Pringles but they're a squid flavour so you can't have them well you have them then I will I'll be glad to

it'd be fun I'd be happy to taste that other one got High Hopes probably quite nice because he's got High Hopes he's got

High Hopes he's got High in the Sky apple pie hopes. There's a picture on this Pringle noodle. Yeah. It's a Pringle riding a unicycle. Yeah. Using an onion and a chili pepper as sort of on a pole to balance himself.

Maybe. Do you know what it's suggesting to me? It is a delicate balance of the flavors. You know, he's on the wheel he's got the balance stick it's saying this thing is fun but it's delicately balanced

chilli, onion and lime yeah delicately balanced but it's a little bit of fun I will slurp that noodle right up and you can find out when he does that

probably in episode 200 but until then let's just play a lovely sound effect and move on to the next segment of the show which I believe Mr Silverman

price of the shite price of the show, which I believe, Mr. Silverman. Pryso de shite. Pryso de shite. I'll bring it to me. Just in my meters. I'll drink some tea. Yeah. El Pryso del Shite. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Woo-hoo, da, da, da, da, da. El Priso del Shiso.

It's the price of shite, yo. Price of shite, that's right. Come on! It's the price of shite, yo. Here we go. It's the price of... There's a party going on right here. I've got an erection. And I've spottched you in the mouth.

You'll take my sad time. And you'll have it too. I'm going to fill your mouth with spoffy glue. Come on now. Spoff me off right now. Spottch it. I'll come right up your nose. Have you been done blobbing?

Right, we're playing The Price of Shite. And this has been donated from Cal, the bottomless well of gifts that he has given us. He has no bottom. I forgot to mention the catchphrase cards from earlier in the show. He gave us catchphrase cards. I've got whole Game Boy Color. SP.

SP. Color SP. Yeah whole Game Boy Color SP Color SP Game Boy Advance SP Game Boy Advance SP I lost it was my I was in the wilderness

there little update Mario 3D Land here we go I got over the thing and I jumped down the top and I'm 50% in everything

the voice we'll fight them on the beaches I've opened the final level and it imposes it s crown yeah special world crown it's in past mate uh well good luck to you i hope you complete it and hope that becomes the biggest fucking thing you've ever done in your life let's pray the price of shite here paul so yes cal has given us four items and it's a special edition it's a special little variant on the price of shite today, isn't it, Paul? Yes, it is. Yes, we've got a little variant of the price of shite.

What kind of variant is it? Well, sometimes we like to play the, what was it, found, bought, gift or BFG. Gifted, yeah. The BFG. That's how we like to remember it by the acronym. Bought, found, gifted. Or big friendly giant. Or big fucking gun. Was coupumbas. Was numbers. Was numbers. Bored, found, gifted. Or big, friendly giant. Or big fucking gun.

Was coupumbas. Was numbers. Was numbers. Oh, he's gone fucking... Stop. Don't go Roald Dahl on us now. Snorescumbers. That's what he used to eat.

In BFG, yeah. Yeah, they were pickled. I bet he'd pickle those as well. He probably did. You never know. I bet he's got proper vinegar. Did you see the... He's got proper big, friendly giant vinegar.

Yeah. Do you know what, Paul? He's probably got big, friendly giant giant vinegar. Do you know what, Paul? He's probably got big, friendly, giant vinegar. Big, fat globulets. Globals. Wet-ass pussy. BFG is wet-ass pussy. BFG is WAG.

Do you know who is the Minister of Information for my cock? What's this coming from? Globals. What does this even mean? Globbles. It's a joke about Goebbels. No, that's not funny either. So what, does your... He gives out fake propaganda about the size of your penis.

Well, no. This is big! Your shallots worship God, mate. No, we can't do this. Don't bring it up. Globbles. I thought that was funny. You could have made it a funny turkey. Globbles the turkey. All right. Let's do that.

You can make the mouth noise. We've reached the mouth noise point. Paul's going to do his... I'm not. Eli said I wasn't allowed to do it, so I'm not going to do it. I asked him, ladies and gentlemen, for the sake of us all, dear listener.

I think we can all agree. You're going to edit this out, are you? No, I'm just going to... Don't do it. Just do the mouth noise. It doesn't feel the same. It really doesn't. It's going to be when you don't want it. I know. It must be when I

don't want it. Right, so Cal has given us a special little price-a-shite, and each of these items is not to be priced, but here's the rules. He's got four items, and we have to discover which of the four items was a gift, was stolen... Ooh, that's a little spicy addictive. ...was found and purchased. So let's go run down that again, please, Paul.

There are four items, and one of them will be a gift, one of them was stolen, one was found, and one was indeed purchased. Okay, well, it's just one addition to the traditional variant that we play, which is the stolen item. Yeah. And we cannot condone... We cannot condone that.

The stolen... Stealing a... I hope there's an answer within, within the answer of his behaviour. An explanation as to why he stole it. Of Cal's behaviour, yes. You have in your hand, Paul... A letter.

The envelope. Peace in our time. Stop going Second World War. This fucking country doesn't want to do anything but think of the second world war now and he has the answers in the card in there right so here should we do the four items let's look at the four items i've got it here they're listed here oh right fine so do the first one what's the first one rabbit in car it says right one the little ears broke the ears broke off oh i think that came in transit but it's a little porcelain little rabbit in a vw style convertible car it is full yeah in transit mate

i opened the box and the ears were snapped i can't i don't know what to tell you is in there the little ears were in there were they in one piece i could glue them in it's not in the box mate but are we going to assume that the ears were on when he purchased yeah i'm going to presume so because i mean i i'm guessing it damaged the box i think i saw the ears were on when he purchased them? Yeah, I'm going to presume so, because I'm guessing it damaged the box. I think I saw the ears. I just don't know where they've gone to now, unfortunately. This is a rabbit with no ears sitting in a little pale blue. It looks like a Volkswagen Beetle convertible if you do such a thing.

I fucking literally said those exact words. Meanwhile, you're on your head going, oh, I could call up the Glamour. I could call up the Glamour. That'd be good. Back pocket. I'll bring it out. Shut up the glambles. I could go up the glambles. That'd be good. I'd back pocket. I'd pull facts out. I'd bring it out. Shut up.

Right, sorry. I didn't hear you. I turn off when you speak. I know. We're both getting to the point now where we turn off from each other when we speak. That's a problem for podcasting.

I know. Another couple of years it'll just be these two unconnected monologues. Yeah. We should try that one week where we do it in separate rooms and we just talk for an hour

and see what happens. Right. It's a good experiment that. Second item. Bouncy ball. I love a bouncy ball. Oh, I've got a

confession to make. Oh, fuck hell. I lost the bouncy ball on the way into the studio. Ears on the rabbit are gone. The bouncy ball.

What happened was? You lost the bouncy ball in the street. Were you playing with it? No, I dropped my bag and when the box opened up and I tried to catch it all and the bus was coming and I was like, ah, fuck, and I had my big bag on

with all the equipment for recording the show and the ball bounced down the street and I was just like, ah, fuck it. I'm not angry. I'm disappointed with you. I know. You don't need to apologise to me, Paul, as the co-host who's trying to make something of value here with you. You don't need to apologise to me, Paul, as the co-host who's trying to make something of value here with you. You don't have to apologise to me,

but I think Cal, who's taken all this time to purchase this stuff with his own money and put this together, I think you should apologise. Fuck off. Right. Look, I'll say sorry for you then. Our bus was coming, so I shat it out. It's all right.

I'm just carrying all the equipment we used for recording, the stands here we go all the props here we go laptop for when i need to edit it later tonight because you don't fucking edit the podcast let's put that so all i'm saying is mate i had other concerns than a bouncing ball capture game in the middle of the fucking turn oh it was a game well no it was just me playing the game of catching a ball in turnpike lane. Okay, Paul, fine. It was a little small, round, orange bouncy ball. You know those small ones that you can pang them and they go...

Any marks on it, apart from it just being a uniform orange colour? It was a uniform orange colour, like kind of almost translucent-y. Like jelly, jelly look kind of jelly. Had a little... Was it see-through through Or ish It was like you know Orangey

Okay These all are very pertinent details I'll draw you a picture Of what it looked like No don't Don't draw me the ball I'm doing it It looked like this

Looked like that He's drawn a Crude circle On a piece of paper Ladies and gentlemen Wait there I'll do some shadowing How about that

It's leaping out at me now There you go It's like magic eye. So, we still have to give that position. Magic meters. Stay at my meters long enough and you'll see delights. Will you? What?

Are there meters, Gremlins? Sticky white cloud from hell. Shut up. Right. So, we've got a little thing and a ball that doesn't exist. So, so far, I don't know. Two out of two fucked by your incompetence. No, that was a transit with the post.

It could have done it in the post. Item three. Yeah. Key ring. Do we have the key ring? It's a key ring. What's it look like, Mr. Silverman? It is an NFL branded key ring.

Also, don't palm us off with stolen goods. I was just thinking about that. Don't, like, use us to, also don't palm us off with stolen goods I was just thinking about that don't like use us to I don't know launder your tat it spices it it doesn't gives it a bit of danger

I don't want this to promote a crime wave alright please everyone don't steal for the PO box yeah thank you

see this is the London whatever they are well tell us what it is it's an nfl national football league oh no it's cleveland browns but it also has a london it has two as a shield on this key ring and also a american football helmet right uh with some sort of pictures of the city cleveland it's a nice little enamel or metal it's nice enough it's nice enough do you like American football Or like me

Do you think it's tedious shit I'm not a huge fan So I'm not a huge fan Of sports in general But at least with Like with proper football Soccer Right

At least there's always Movement and momentum There's always You know There's always something going on Where with America It seems they throw a ball once Run for two seconds

And then stop for 45 minutes While they think about Where they're going to Throw a ball next What a for two seconds, and then stop for 45 minutes while they think about where they're going to throw a ball next. What a fucking stupid game. Puppey has more momentum. Paul, I've heard that Jasper Carrot's doing a comeback show. Perhaps you could get in touch with him. I've got a list of insurance claims that you won't believe.

I saw the kindly face of an old man as he bounced off the bonnet of my car. Now, was that... That's a line from the Jasper Carrot insurance claim. I just want to say I have much respect for Carrot. What's the final thing? The final item on the Price of Deshaiteau special edition BFG, with a twist edition, is a green rock. Regard the green rock.

Oh, that's quite nice. I don't understand it. It's some kind of pyrite, I'd say, because it looks a bit like... It doesn't look like a pie. It looks a bit like fool's gold. It has the same, but green. It's a green, shiny, shimmery, crystal-y... It looks like a crystal.

It could be a mountain in some kind of diorama. Stop dropping it on the bloody sound thing. Table. It could be a mountain peak or a crag in a diorama, couldn't it? It could be. It could be a setting at the bottom of an aquarium. It could go in there, but you wouldn't want to do that. Just chuck it in because some rocks can be toxic to fishes.

Yeah, that's true. It could also be a piece of hippie shit that a holistic yoga person has in their studio. It could be. But I'm going to keep an open mind on the use for the rock. Paul, are you ready? We've seen all, well, we've seen three items.

Now, what we're going to do, I'm just going to, to represent the ball, I'm just going to write the ball here, do a little drawing again, and write ball. So you can visualise it. There you go, ball.

Now, there are four items. We're going to go through them in order and we'll both guess, but we take turns. Yes, I think that's fair. Both of us get a go going first, and both of us get a go going second. Let me draw it up. P, V, E.

So item number one is, what do you want to do? The rabbit in car. Rabbit in car, right. One of these items, Paul, was a gift. A gift to Cal. Yeah. One was stolen. We're not condoning that again. No, we're not condoning that. One was found. He may have found it in his ar Cal. Yeah. One was stolen. We're not condoning that again.

No, we're not condoning that. One was found. He may have found it in his arse. Yeah. None of them have a poo-pooey whiff. Right. Or a sort of fish meters whiff. Right.

And one was purchased. One was purchased. Right, good. Now, we need an answer from that list for the first item, which is the tragically broken porcelain figure of a rabbit driving a convertible Volkswagen Beetle. On any other day, it's a delightful little piece of objet d'art to have on a window ledge or fireplace. I would like it.

That's why I'm especially hurt by the... If I find it in my collection of bits, I'll bring it and glue it. You could probably glue it back on if it's in a nice, clean one piece. I think it was. I need to have a look now, mate. Give it some Gorilla Glue, mate. So I think...

Do you want me to go first or do you want to go first? You go first this time, Paul. I think this was purchased. I think this is a charity shop purchase. I think that's my opinion. So I'm going to put purchased. What do you think, Mr Silverman?

I'm looking at all of the items here except I can't look at one of them I've done a drawing I've done a larger drawing yeah Paul I'm very that's very impressive thank you now you can imagine this ball now that's a bit bigger than the ball was by the way it's probably about maybe half the size oh I've got a bad feeling he's a bad boy and he's probably nicked that expensive key ring, hasn't he? He's a bad man. What do you think?

Oh, I will go for found. Right, Eli's putting found down. Next one is the ball. Do you want to go first with this one or what?

I need to go first with this one because we're alternating. Oh, that's right, yes. Now, I've already used my found. You do. You have. You did.

So it has to be either a gift stolen or purchased. Yeah. I think he probably purchased the ball. He purchased the ball. From a vending machine. I'm going to say he found that. I'm getting no betwings at all.

We don't know, do we? What I like about this version of the game is it really can be quite random. It's hard to tell. You have to almost invent a backstory for each item. that's why i kind of like that inference so what is your backstory so far well let's get to the end of the okay then we'll tell a little backstory it's a little reasoning session at the end lovely paul lovely absolutely loves love struck oh god yeah stop it just move on quick mate they won't notice carry on quick say mate. They won't notice. Carry on quick. Say Spoffy Whiff Waffle or something. No, Piss Poffle Waffle. No, good.

We're back in it. All right, we're back. So the ball, we've done that. Now, the next item on the list, Paul, is the key ring. Key ring. Now, it's your turn to guess first for the key ring. I'm saying stolen for this. I am going with you as well.

I have this feeling. It has this feeling of being... I tell you what, I'll give you a backstory about this right now. I think here's my story in my head before we read the letter or anything

I don't know anything about him I reckon he went to see this game played at Wembley when you know they had American football at Wembley

he's got London on there yeah London games and I think he went and he spent a lot getting in and had a great time and he probably saw

it and he was like I'll have that I'll nick it because it's a fiver and I just won it so I think he nicked it also it's quite nick I'll nick it because it's a fiver and I just won it. So I think he nicked it. Also, it's quite nickable, isn't it?

Because it's very thin. It could easily just be slipped into an inside pocket in your jacket. Down the front of the trousers. Again, there's no smell of sweat or crack on it. No, there's no sweat of crime on it. But I agree, I think it was stolen. Yeah, I think he wanted it, but he couldn't quite afford it after paying so much to see it, you know, Wembley.

I think he felt justified, didn't he? Because it'd been so expensive. It was a big merch stand, and he thought, ah, it's only the NFL. I mean, it aged quite a lot for that as well. I mean, it's a high quality. I actually thought that was going to be more expensive, to be fair. Really? I thought that was going to be $9.99. Because, you know, it's got a fucking logo for NFL. It's a piece of shit, but whatever. It was a fiver on the ticket price. Right, and then finally, then, we have the green rock.

So by the logic left within us... You've only got one possible answer left. And that's given. And what have you got? Oh, you'll have given as well. Do I? Yeah, because you did found and perched, and then I did perched and found. We both said stolen,

so that means they both have to be given. Okay, so if we get those last two bang on, no one gets a betwing there. No, we've got betwings, but we just don't know if we're going to draw. Oh, everyone gets a betwing. Yeah,

I like this. There's lots of betwings to be getting. So, we might not get any betwings, any of us. We might not get any.

Who wants to do the answers? What's a tiebreaker if we both get the same betwings? I reckon, first person to come wins. That is soggy biscuit, not the price of shite. I've got some biscuits.

Do you? Yeah. What kind? I've got, I've got, Have you got cum trough biscuits? With the built-in trough? No, I've got ginger nuts. Have they? Yeah. What kind? I've got... Have you got cum trough biscuits? With the built-in trough? Have they got the built-in rivulets?

All for pouring. Have they got the little trough on them? Have they got a cum canyon? Come on. Have they got a ridge? I'm opening the letter, Paul. Have they got a sperm divot? Yeah, a sperm divot. Thank you. Nice. It says A on it. He's opening the envelope, Paul. Have they got a sperm divot? Yeah, a sperm divot.

Thank you. Nice. It says A on it. He's opening the envelope. These are the answers. A. Right. Here we go.

It's exciting times. The answers. Yeah. You ready? I'm trying to read these eyes' face, but I can't. The gift. What did we say? We both said the gift was the green rock.

Was the green trippy rock. Between, between. It's a between for me. It's a between for you. It's a between for everyone. Oh, yeah. Everyone's a winner on Tube Show. Now, that could be our only between.

We'll see. But it's nice to get one at the start. It's a confidence building, isn't it? What? Come on. The bunny car. Yeah, bunny car. Oh, no.

Do you want the actual backstory of the green trippy rock? Oh, yeah. Give it. A friend gave it to me as a kid. You were a kid. come on the bunny car yeah bunny car oh no do you want the actual backstory of the green oh yeah give it a friend gave it to me as a kid you were a kid both were kids probably no clue what it is

or where he got it spooky maybe it came from Krypton I mean what if he gave it to you as a child does it have no sentimental value to you

that's why he gave it to a fucking stupid podcast mate the bunny car was stolen oh we've slurred. We have.

Okay, so we're both wrong with that one there. Stolen by me at uni. Was very drunk. No clear where I got it. Oh, it's one of those. Or whose accommodation I took it from. Dodgy. But I kept it in a drawer for years.

And now the ears have fucking broken. Does it also say at the end of that thing? And I also kept their panties. You know what I mean? It feels like he drunkenly broke into a dorm room. It doesn't say at the end of that thing and I also kept their panties. You know what I mean? It feels like he broke into drunkenly broke into a doesn't sound cool. A dorm room.

None of this is cool. And was like rubbing his groin up against their panty drawer and then was like I'll have this as a keepsake. No one has a panty drawer. I mean why would you rub up how would you know

from the outside which one? And then closes it and then he rubs up against it. So it's like he's got a psychic penis or something that can his penis can then chew it the soft panty tissue something that can, his penis can intuit the soft panty

tissue. Or maybe he opens the drawer. The soft panty fabric on the other side of three metres of wood. Is he a remote viewer whose knob his Russian agents get him and they put him in a chair and they go, whose panties are in Niagara Falls? Right. Paul is looking out the window. Paul, are you ready Yuri Sweller

I was looking out the window wow that was good yeah it's almost I felt like I'd almost thought of that yeah well you did that was mad

right I was going for my head Yuri Geller was sort of was in my head but I hadn't like language to find it that's why I was looking out the window mate I was trying to my head. Yuri Geller was sort of, was in my head. But I hadn't, like, language to find it. That's why I was looking out the window, mate. I was trying to think.

Yuri Sweller. He's a spoon bender. Right. So that's the bunny car story. Right, next. Found. What did we say found was? I said the ball was found.

And you said, oh, the rabbit was found. So what's the answer? You get a petwing there. Do I? The ball found the bouncy ball. Petwing. In Amsterdam. Oh.

Whilst walking about totally not on mushrooms. On mushrooms. Just say you're on mushrooms, mate. Anyway. And finally, that means what? The key ring was purchased.

Fair enough. Now, Paul. Yes. Did you get a between for that purchase no neither of us got that no no one got it

so I got two between and you only got one do you want a chance what for an extra why one or two

between stop going I hate it and also I have to edit it out I just oh god start this sentence

again yeah start it again with that like you're a fucking demented rabbit shut up stop banging the table fuck off eli just fucking hell fuck off eli full stop fucking hell come on here we go you've made me very self-conscious about my mouth noises now good you can have the opportunity now paul if you stop being rude and petulant,

to earn extra petwingage. How? Petwingage comes in the form of guessing the price-o, the shite-o. You know which one now was purchased. We know the key ring was purchased. But you know the answer, because you've

got it written down there. So this is your chance as winner to get some extra... I've already won, so why bother? Oh, can you just guess the fucking price? Right, how much, what was purchased again? The key ring that we both thought was stolen, that has a price of £5 on the back. You can earn yourself one if you get it within 25p either way. What, did he say where he got it from? Yeah, hang on.

Because I can't remember. Local charity shop. Local charity shop. I'm going to say this was £1.50p. Uh-uh. 50p. That's cheap, isn't it? Yeah.

Especially as it has five quid on the back. Yeah. It's quite a markdown. We're going to re-gift that to charity? I think we should. I think we should let it continue in its circle of charity life. Well, Paul, well done. Well, I thought that was an interesting round.

And Cal, well sourced. Thank you very much for that. Thanks for that, Cal. Right. Do you have anything witty to say to end this segment, or would you just like to say a bunch of things that sound like words but have no actual meaning, but allude to your genitals and cum?

I don't do that. You do. Just like to mention, Paul, an item that I found. This is your countdown to nonsense. Here we go. This is Fingerlings. The company's called Fingerlings. Liquid lava putty.

It's monkey gooey pooey pooey. There we go. Monkey gooey pooey Fingerlings. What fun. I don't know. What should we do? Save that for a Twitch and get it out. Let's save it for a Twitch and get it out. See? I'm trying to support everything. I'm not going to say anything weird. Sorry.

Shut up. Oh no. Look. Shut up. What all makes this time? Oh, no. Look, shut up. You won. Big deal. Hey, I won. Big deal.

And that was the... Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Wahoo! It's the price, the price, oh, do shite. It's the price, oh, shite. It's the price, oh, shite. Come on! I've spoffed it off my chod knee off. You're just fucking nonsense.

Ooh, Paulie, Paulie, Paul. We're at the end of another show. We are indeed. And it's time to say goodbye. But you can join us next week for what will be a very special episode. Ooh, it's going to be so special. Once again, me and Eli can't go a few weeks without putting Paul for the editing stress

of putting together a two-hour-plus podcast in under a couple of days. It's going to be so special. Paul it, feel it, Paul it. The Cheap Show Belated 2020 Awards. It's the awards. And I don't want to go, we've got something fun planned, don't we?

It's very fun and uh will be entertaining there'll be music there's going to be action there's all you need to know is that if you thought the your envision was star studded then yeah it was this one's going to be really low-key slightly less characters but it's going to be an interesting premise yeah we've got a very cheeky novel premise so join us next week for what will promise to be difficult for me to edit so that's next week and also if you support us on Patreon

and some of you do thank you so much go to patreon.com forward slash cheap show do what you can if you can and if you do you get a magazine

or you get podcasts or you get videos and all kinds of lovely extras also also you get a loofah filled with my munk no don't promise that you get a loofah filled with my no don't promise

that you get a loofah dried out but it once had moisture of a certain type comey moisture like yeah of course

right so oh it's a crusty loofah we're all over social media Facebook crispy loofah spatchcock my crispy loofah

tumblr instagram look for cheap show you'll find us look for us I'm there pictures that accompany this episode

that show you all the things we've been looking at is www.thecheapshow.co.uk email the show about anything you like thecheapshow at gmail.com we have a PO box that's on the website

links to the merch page and links to Aven's magazine page there's a magazine that goes along with this podcast thecheapshow.co.uk magazine page. There's a magazine that goes along with this podcast, Paul. Thecheapshow.co.uk as ever.

And that's it. We're on Twitter. What about my Twitter? I'm going to do Twitter now. I'm going to do my bit now. Follow us on Twitter at The Cheap Show Pod. I'm at Paul Gannon's show

and Eli... Eli Snow, D-L-I-S-N-O-Y-T-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E And that's all the admin done for this week. Keep it simple. Get in, get out. Keep it simple. Get in, get out. No. Don't cause a fuss. Look after yourself, madam.

Hey, hey. Chip, chip, pip a dop top. Don't worry about yourself. Have a lovely day. Have a little natter. Have a little day. How about this? Thank you very much for listening.

Thank you very much for listening. All the listeners, thanks so much. Thank you so much. Love you guys. Love you guys. Join us next week. Join us next week. Join us next week. Bye-bye, boys and girls.

Bye-bye.