CheapShow - Ep 20: The Play Your Blankety Cards Right Game Show

Episode Date: April 21, 2016

Paul & Eli bring their love of Game Shows and Light Entertainment to it's natural conclusion in this very special nostalgic battle royale. There can be only one winner and losing any rounds will carry horrific consequences! In our 20th episode spectacular the CheapShow Chaps take on 3 of UK TV's most popular 80's Game Shows. They try to read each other's minds playing Blankety Blank, guess what 100 people thought in Play Your Cards Right and use their bargain hunting skills in a few rounds of The Price of Right. To the winner, the spoils. To the loser, its a gamble on the infamous Jelly Belly Beanboozled candy. A fate worse than death! There is also time for some more Cheap Eats from the USA and a few "commercial breaks" too! The Economy Comedy Podcast goes all out on giving you a blast from the past! Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! You can see pictures and accompanying videos on our website www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow @elisnoid or @ashfrith If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... all that jazz! Subscribe to us on Stitcher or iTunes and get fortnightly fun WARNING *Show contains strong language and adult material AND you can now WATCH the podcast as you listen on YouTube! We've added pictures to accompany the action in the show... should you fancy it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS_wXrMhSPk

One of our monsters has dared the others to spend a night in haunted wood. They've got some monster munch. They only snack big enough to see them through the night ahead. Of course, they're too big to be scared. But even big, brave monsters get frightened. Sometimes. And this is one of those times. So it was all a big trick.

Wasn't it? And now on ITV, some more fun and frolics with Paul and Eli, and another wacky episode of Cheap Show. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome again. It's Cheap Show. It's a game so special. I hope you're ready to play. I'm Eli Silverman, and here's your other host on this great game so special. Ooh, gaming. Games. Paul Gannon!

Oh, good game. Good game. Marvellous. Marvellous. I'm a host on this great game show special, all gaming games, Paul Gannon. Oh, good game. Good game. Marvellous. Marvellous. Hello, Paul. Hello, Eli. It's another episode of Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast.

It's easy for you to say. It is. You try. Economy comedy podcast. And finally, peace has become a thing. Anyway, so yeah, I thought we'd do a game show special. I went to charity shops this week, and I bought a load of board games based on TV shows. I love a charity shop.

Oh, don't you just? Do you know what? When I was in the States, the whole family went to the thrift store. Yeah. All together. Yeah. All with the kids and everything. My niece. Big day out.

My two nephews. Everyone was in there arguing about items. And it was fantastic. Nice family day together. And my sister snuck next door to the biker bar and did a shot of tequila. And then she stank of it. And it was great. I picked up a lovely Lacoste top.

Oh. Also, yes. I bet you got some nice vinyl when you were out there as well. Well, I did pick up one or two things. But it's like, as I say, it's sort of Land of the Old Jew. Yeah. So you get the worst kind of show music and, you know. Oh, okay.

Like the bloody orchestra band and the theme from Stars on 35. I did pick up something that you might be interested in, which is a bloopers record. Two LP set. Yeah. Kermit Kampth. He's called us. No, he's not called Kampth. He's called Kampther or something. Kermit Kampther. Hello. Welcome to's not called Kampth he's called Kampfer or something

Kermit Kampfer hello welcome to the mother show Z Kyle Z Kyle and it's a yeah so it's bloopers these old bloopers

where it's just like pretty tame it's like darn oops oopsie daisy I flubbed my line and you know what they used to call

bloopers go on they were called bloopers but they were also called boners oh right yeah so I made a big boner. Oh, I bet you couldn't show that on the telly.

Yeah. Anyway, so I went and I bought a load of board games, and I thought we'd just spend the whole episode playing them. Yay! Yay! Right, so here's the thing. Chess? Every time you...

No, not chess. 3D chess? That's not a TV show, is it? Was there ever a TV show based chess quiz show? It was called Chess You Like. Checkmate, starring Paul Daniels. Oh, not a lot.

He's dead. He's dead. Yeah, anyway. Ronnie Corbett, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, Lemmy. God, everyone's just

dropping off. It's like they know 2016's shit and they want out. It could be the year that Donald Trump is elected president of the United States.

What a great time to be alive. So let's play some games. So here's the thing. Every time we lose, whoever loses a game has to eat from the Bean Boozled Jelly Belly Flavour Box of Horror. Is it going to be a nice flavour or will it be nasty? So it might be stinky socks or tutti frutti, rotten eggs or buttered popcorn, barf flavour or peach, booger and juicy pear, baby wipes or coconut, lawn clippings or lime, toothpaste or berry blue, canned dog food or chocolate pudding, mouldy cheese or caramel corn, and

finally, it could be licorice or skunk spray. Oh. We just don't know. So that's going to be the fourth. I've got a bit of an icky, icky belly already. Yeah. Good. Well, this is going to be fantastic then to play.

We'll see how that goes. So we have three games we're going to play today. We're going to play play cards, right? Yeah. We're going to play Play Cards, right? Yeah. We're going to do a quick round of Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. And finally, the Piste de Resistance. The Price is Right.

Oh, yeah. Not the Price is Shite. No. It's the fucking Price is Right. It's the fucking Price is Right. That's right. Yes. And that's shite, actually, if we're going to twist it.

Okay. We'll do that. So, what do you want to start with? I think we should start with Blankety Blank. Okay. Yeah, so. I'm game. I've heard that rumour. This with? I think we should start with a blankety blank. Okay. Yeah, so. I'm game. I've heard that rumour.

This is what I found. I went to a charity shop and I found this. It came from Marks and Spencers. It's a huge big box with blankety blank or the price is right built in, right? And it's full of everything. It's got, look at that. Ooh, got playing cards. Cards and coins and all kinds of crazy stuff.

And if you open it up, it's got all the board games and prices right you need to play. Fantastic. How much do you think this cost me? Huge. £2. Yeah. Exactly right, wasn't it?

Yeah. Bastard. I'm good at that. Yeah, you are very good. So we're going to play the blankety blank first. Now, we can't play it properly, so we're just going to have a bit of a laugh at the first round. Okay, so we'll do guess the blanks, okay?

What we'll do is, is for this so it's easier so it's not just a we'll just play this one for fun alright no being boozled on this not on this one though we're going to just have

a little bit of a laugh with this first one okay because you know you're going to lose yeah you're going to be stuffing dirty boozled

down your throat thanks for that yeah so I'm going to give you a little wipe card and a pen which you get in the pack oh that's good isn't it

yeah you get a little wipe card this is a wipe clean you get in the pack. Oh, that's good, isn't it? Yeah, you get a little white card. This is a wipe clean. The pens aren't great, but you can still write with them still. And this is a wipe clean sort of... Yeah, so we can use them. Like a little whiteboard. It's very cool. Yes.

Don't you think? So I just thought to start, we'd just have the intro music. So are you ready to play Blankety Blank? Yes. Let's play Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank.

Paul Gannon and Eli Silverman. Yay! Right, good, so we're playing Blankety Blank. Now, for those who don't know, it's a game where you have to fill in the blanks of a sentence to win prizes, basically, in a nutshell. In America, it's called Match Game. Is it? I believe, yeah. That's a terrible name.

Yeah, to play Blankety Blank's better. Yes. But what we're going to do is we're just going to have a bit of a laugh at this first round. I'm going to read a question out and then we're both going to see if we can match the blanks. If we match the blanks, ha ha ha, if not, we'll see what we got.

I'm going to pick one at random. Okay. I'll do one first and then you can pick the next one. So here we go. James had always prided himself on his perfect driving record, but his clean sheet was spoiled when he swerved to avoid a blank on the road. What was it? Blankety blank, blankety blank.

I'm just going to write mine down. So his perfect driving record, swerved to avoid a blank on the road. I'm going to write down this Okay Have you got one written down? Yeah, I've got one Alright, so James had always prided himself on his perfect driving record

But his clean sheet was spoiled When he swerved to avoid a blank on the road What did you put? Sexy nun No, I put chicken Chicken What's a chicken going to be doing? Crossing the road

Fucking think, man. Try and think. That's what I did. Try and fucking think like I think, yeah? Oh, no. What, a sexy nun? Yeah, obviously. I don't want to think about a sexy nun.

What else are you going to swerve for? A chicken. No, you just run it over. I'd run over a sexy nun. No, you wouldn't. You'd be done for murder. Oh, well, she'd be cross. I'd give you that.

All right, you pick one at random, then. All right, just pick one from that pack at random. Randomising here. Right, okay. Are you ready? Yes, go for it. My uncle has some strange habits. Oh.

Yes, shut up. Don't do that. That's really annoying. Let me read my bit. All right, okay. Fucking hell. My uncle has some strange habits. Yesterday, he swallowed a packet of soap flakes,

closed his mouth and made bubbles come out of his blank. All right, OK. So, I'll read it just one more time. Yeah, please do. My uncle has some strange habits. Oh. Yesterday, do not go... Ooh, you fucking dick.

Mum. Fucking, I'm going to do that. I'm going to fucking do that to you. All right. My uncle has some strange habits. Yesterday, he swallowed a packet of soap flakes, closed his mouth, and made bubbles come out of his blank. All right, let's go.

Blankety-blank, blankety-blank, a-boom-boom, blankety-blank, a-blankety-blank, a-boom-boom, blankety-blank, blankety-blank, blankety-blank, blankety-blank. I've got one. This is definitely what you're going to get as well. Okay, I can't write this.

I'm just going to write it on my hand in a pen because this board's crap. Okay, so, Paul, have you got your answer? I have. I'm writing it on the back of my hand right now. Right, so read it out. My uncle has some strange habits. Yesterday... Ooh!

You are... Yesterday, he swallowed a packet of soap flakes, closed his mouth and made bubbles come out of his blank. Paul? Ears. What? What did you put? Third nipple.

What was that going to work? It's obvious It's not obvious He's got to come out of his nipple He's a strange uncle Just picture the scene, right? Yeah He's strange

What do strange uncles always have? Third nipples No, they don't Scaramanga from The Man With The Golden Gun Has a third nipple He's an uncle He's someone's uncle He might not be

He's got a squirty third nipple And bubbles come out of it Yeah Not all of the crap Right, we'll do one more each. Come on. Get it right this time. Okay, next one.

Here we go. At random, pulling from the pack of cards. Okay, here we go. Black-hearted Bill the Pirate. Ooh! That doesn't even make sense. I didn't even say anything that regarded that. Wait, at least be rude at the right time.

Okay. Black-hearted Bill the Pirate has found his reputation in tatters. Ooh! Fair play. After his pet parrot began reciting blanks to the rest of the crew. Go. Blankety blank, blankety blank,

ba-dum-dum, blankety blank, blankety blank, blank, blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank. Blankety blank. Blank. Black Hottie Bill the Pirate has found his reputation, ooh, in tatters.

Don't you can't do it yourself, you fucking rascal. After his pet parrot began reciting blanks to the rest of the crew. What did you put? Limericks.

I put cunt word. Well, that's not even a thing. Cunt words. Reciting cunt words. You're mangling language again.

All right. Last one. Last one. We managed not to get a single match. No. We'd be off. Yeah, we would be. We'd be on that rotating dais. Dibbity bob. It's not dais. Dias. We've managed not to get a single match. No. We'd be off. Yeah, we would be.

We'd be on that rotating dais. Dibbity bob. It's not dais. Dais. Is that what it's called? Deus. It's a dais. I'm a Deus.

I'm a Deus. No, you're not a Deus. Right, go on. I'm a Deus. Here we go. Last one. Okay, there's a double blank here. Oh.

All right. So two words we're looking for. Right. I'm a bit worried about our new player. Oh. Said the manager of Puddleton United. All right, so two words we're looking for. Right. I'm a bit worried about our new player. Oh! Said the manager of Puddleton United. Every time we score a goal, he not only kisses the scorer,

he kisses the blank blanks as well. OK. We'll have it again. I'm a bit worried. It's not two, by the way. It's either a single or a plural word you can use. Oh, yes, you're right. Blank or blanks. Yes.

OK. Wanker. Oh, I'll do the accent this see. Oh, yes, you're right. Blank or blanks. Yes. Okay. Wanker. Ooh, I'll do the accent this time. Oh, yeah, do it. Hey, I'm a bit worried about our new player, said the manager of Puddleton United. Every time we score a goal, he not only kisses a scorer, he kisses the blank or blanks as well.

Blankety-blank, blankety-blank, a-bum-bum, rankety-blank, a-wankety-wang, a-bum-bum, rankety-wang, a-rankety-bang, a-blankety-wang, blankety-wang. Right, I've got mine. So let's hear it again. And you fill it in here, OK? I'm a bit worried about our new player, said the manager of Puddleton United.

Every time he scores a goal, he not only kisses the scorer, he kisses the... Referee. As well. What did you put? Wife's arsehole. Oh. Oh.

Yeah, we wouldn't be very good at blankety-blank. No, we wouldn't, no. All right. So here's what we're going to do instead then, right? We're going to play the super match game. Super match game. Super match game. Super match game.

Game. What is the super match game? Oh, wow. Super match game. Oh, it's good, isn't it? It's got a little... Super match game is... All for two quid.

You get something blank, like, for instance... Red. Red blank. And you'd have to think what the blank is, and whoever gets it right or gets the highest point wins. So you can either get 50 blanks, 100 blanks, or 150 blanks for the answer. So let's just say if it was red lorry or red rocket or red handed. Yeah, it's a great example, all right?

So I've got the questions here. So these are actually, they've got them in there, have they? They've actually got the... Yeah, they slide in. Oh, they slide in. This is great. Isn't it a great little toy, this? Yeah.

Yeah, so I've just got to open the pack up, because everything's brand new, sealed in box. This has not been touched. All for £2. It's amazing. Mate, I'm so impressed. So impressed with this. And what charity shop was it?

This was, I think it was the Salvation Army. I might be wrong. So I'm going to put one in random. I'm not going to look at it, because was uh i think it was the salvation army i might be wrong so i'm gonna put one in random i'm not gonna look at it because it gives you the answers on the card yes so i'm just gonna hold it against my chest don't look at it well you can see the back so we're not gonna look at the back so i'm just gonna slide it in super match game yeah cool it works super match game all right so super match game the word is beach blank okay so beach blank what do you think Is the blank word Okay so here we go

Supermatch game Supermatch game Supermatch game Supermatch game Supermatch game Supermatch game Supermatch game Right

What have you put Ball I've put ball as well Oh where are we going to go So For 50 blanks Beach Party

For 100 blanks Beach Towel And the 150 blanks Beach Towel And the 150 blanks is Beach Yes! Oh, yes, mate! Come on!

We both get 150 points each for that So we're going to have to do another one Because someone has to lose this Okay Alright, so I'll pick another card at random Right, okay, ready? Yes I haven't looked at this

Blank mill Ready? Here we go Supermatch game, supermatch game Supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game. Oh, jeez. Shut up. So, Blank Mill, what have you got? Wind.

I have Pebble. That's not going to win. I've won. You might as well just say it now. I don't know. We'll just see. Pebble Mill. That's a brand name. No, Pebble was the TV show in the 80 win. I've won. You might as well just say it now. I don't know. We'll just see. That's a brand name.

No, Pebble was the TV show in the 80s. Pebble Mill. I was thinking of Blankety Blanket might use Pebble Mill. All right. I don't think they use proprietary names like that. Maybe. 50 blanks. It's Cotton.

Cotton Mill. For 100 blanks, Peppermill. If I'd only spelt it wrong, I might have won. And the winner is... But for 150 blanks... Win. Mill. I'm the winner spelt it wrong, I might have won. And the winner is... But for 150 blanks... Win! Mill! I'm the winner!

You win it, boy! I won. Who would have thought? I have to now eat... A bamboozle. A belly-boo-baboozle. Right. I hope you get one that makes you rich, because I love it when you're rich.

You can spin it. You can spin the thing. Spin the darn. It tells us what flavour to try. I'm going to spin it now. Tooty Fruity or Stinky Socks? Oh yeah, that's good. I'll let you pick the sweet so it's completely furt.

So you know which one to look at? Yeah, it's that kind of mottled. Pebbly kind of one. Pink one that's mottled. Here you go. Right, so this is either going to be Stinky Socks or Tooty Fruity. Let's see. Oh. Stinky Socks. He's going again.

I'm going to have to eat it because I've got nothing to spit on. Mate, just swallow it down. It's not that bad. Right through you. I love it when you're rich. Let's take a quick advertisement break and we'll be back with more game shows after this. I recommend the porridge, the alabaster is nice

You can say it without any reply But Sean Kellogg's bran flakes, that's a different matter They'll all reply They're tasty, tasty, very, very tasty They're very tasty Would you care for yoghurt? The green flakes are nice The continental breakfast ain't bad But Sean Kellogg's bran flakes, that's a different matter They'll all reply They're tasty, tasty, very, very tasty Welcome back to the Cheap Show Game Show Special.

I'm your host, Paul Gannon, and I'm joined with... Eli Silverman! Hugga-dugga-doo-dah! You like it? No. I like it. No, not at all. Stoopid-doopie! No. Shutaka-daka-doo-dah. You like it? No. I like it. No, not at all. Stoopy-doopy.

No. Shut up. Ooh, me bum-bum. Right, so this time we're going to play... Nipple squirty. Shut up. All right. Or I will give you such a punch in your fucking teeth.

Oh, you'll fucking punch me, will you? I'll fucking whack you. You'll fucking what? I'll smack your teeth so hard down your throat you'll be eating out your arsehole. Ooh. All right. Big man. I am.

I am. I am a big man. Let me just flop my dick out. No. You established last time you cannot win an argument with that. Alright.

Alright. So we're going to play your cards right. It's a game that involves people answering questions and then what they have to do is there are playing cards laid out.

In a row. And the first one who gets to the end wins by saying if the next card is going to be higher or lower than the card shown. It's basically

one of the most basic simple guessing game sort of bullshit. It's basically one of the most basic, simple, guessing game sort of bullshit. It is. I hate it. Good. So good. But I'll still win. So we've got the theme tune here, the opening title sequence, as always, to welcome ourselves into the show. However, the guy who introduces this looks

frightened on the camera, right? It's amazing. He's like sitting there introducing the show. He looks petrified, and also he doesn't get one single word of inflection correct when he says this sentence. Come round, listen to it. You have to see this. Again, this show will have its own dedicated page on the website where you can see all the videos and pictures.

Here's the opening title sequence. Here we go. Watch this guy in action. But now it's the return of Bruce Forsyth with Play Your Cards Right. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Hello, what a fantastic show we've got lined up for you. We're Bruce Forsythe. Oh, didn't you do well? Oh, didn't you do well? Oh, didn't you do well you stupid mad bastard

shut up so here's what we're going to do we're going to play the game but it's foresight play your

cards right play your cards right and his face is like I don't know what I'm doing. It's great. Terrible.

So here's how the game goes. I'm going to ask you a question. I don't know what the answers are because I'm on the very back of the card so I can read them and not spoil the answers for myself. No, I didn't understand what you meant there, Bernie.

Well, the question is on the front and the answer's on the back so I can't see it if it's in my hand. Okay. So we can both play this fairly. I see. All right, so ask a question. Do you want to go first?

Sure. All right, cool. And whoever wins the question goes first on the card round. Okay. Okay. So we can both play this fairly. I see. All right. So ask a question. Do you want to go first? Sure. All right, cool. And whoever wins the question goes first on the cards round. Okay. Okay. So we asked 100 bald men, would you be prepared to marry a bald-headed woman? How many men out of 100, how many men said yes, Eli? 20.

20. Now I have to pick if it's higher or lower. Higher or lower. Higher or lower. Higher or lower. I'm going to say lower. I'm going to say lower than 20 The answer is we asked 100 bald men Would you be prepared to marry a bald headed woman

How many men said yes The answer is 14 So I get to go first So the first card turning over is 10 of hearts, no 10 of spades So is the next card higher or lower Or I can change my first card

I think that's a healthy card so I'm gonna stay with 10 okay I'm gonna go higher I've got to do I'm presenting this bit alright I'll let you do this don't fucking turn the card over

alright I'll let you do it alright so the first card's a 10 do you want to change that no I'm gonna keep it alright so higher or fucking lower then you could never

Bruce Forsythe doing this end of his tether right I'm gonna say how's he still alive let's just move on Higher or fucking lower then? You could never Bruce Forsyth doing this. End of his tether. Right, I'm going to say How's he still alive? Let's just move on. Lower than a ten. Lower than a ten. Lower than a ten.

You said lower. Oh, it's ten. It's another ten. What does that mean? It means I don't go any further. I have to stay on this card. So we ask another question now. It's your turn.

So you can ask So you got it wrong in fact. Yeah. Okay. It's not so much I got it wrong but I can't go any higher because it wasn't higher or lower. Okay. So's not so much I got it wrong, but I can't go any higher because it wasn't higher or lower.

Okay. So I'll give you those psycho cards. Ow. We asked 100 mothers of 18-year-old girls if they'd do a photo shoot with their daughter.

Stop getting the direction. It's not appropriate. No, sorry. Read it properly. We asked 100 mothers of 18-year-old girls if you accidentally saw your daughter

kissing her boyfriend goodnight, would you stay and watch? What? Actually, is that it? How many mothers said yes? Watch what? And get all frothy and then like... Fap off.

Who's that over there? Oh, that's my mumma. Fucking whacking her bean. She's thwacking her bean in the hedgerow Alright, so No, but that's the question Okay, so If you accidentally saw your daughter kissing her boyfriend goodnight Would you stay and watch?

How many mothers said yes? 45 And I'm going to say lower than 45, okay? Okay, what's the answer? The answer is 12 So you win I win.

Alright, so now it's your turn. I'm going to tell you over the first card. Alright, are you ready? Yes. Your first card is a 4 of spades. I'm going to stick with that. And I'll say higher than a 4.

Higher than a 4. Higher, lower, good game. Nothing... Does anyone American listen to anyone else in the world? They're going to be like, what the fuck are these two pricks talking about?

Well, they think that anyway. Yeah, true. Higher than a 4 is... Higher than a 4. A 3! What the fuck? You've set this up. How have I?

I shuffled them. Don't fucking you. I've got my eye on you. All right. All right, so I lose, do I? No, you don't lose. Okay. First one to get to the last card wins.

Okay. All right, next question. I'm going to go for round the... Okay, here we go. We asked 100 married women, when is your husband more likely to notice your new dress? When you wear it or when he sees the bill? How many women said when he sees the bill?

This is so 70s. It's so sexist 80s kind of questions. How many women said their men would see the bill and notice the dress rather than the dress itself out of 100? Yeah. 60. 60. Yeah. I'm going to say lower than 60. Okay.

And the answer is 83. So you win. Boom. You get to go again. Wow, exciting for you. So start with three. Do you want to stick with three or change the card? I'll stick with three.

All right. Higher than a three or lower than a three? Higher. Higher than a three. It is a jack. All right, next card. Lower, lower, lower. Lower than a jack is...

Queen. Oh, what the hell? Oh, my God. Right, your next question. Right, you've got one more card to turn over. I have three more. Yes. So it still could win for you.

I'm the one and only dominator. I'm the one and only dominator. Shut your fucking face. I want to kiss myself. Okay. We asked 100 nudists. That's more like it. Since you became a nudist, do you spend less money on clothes?

How many nudists said yes? I'm going to say 40. Okay. Higher or lower, Eli? I would say slightly higher than that. Slightly higher. Since you became a nudist, do you spend less money on clothes? How many out of 100 nudists said yes?

Okay. You said 40. I said 40. And I said higher, yeah. The answer is 14. Oh, so it's my turn. I'm going to stick with the 10. You're going to stick with the 10?

That's a stupid move. I'm going to stick with the 10. You don't have a basic understanding of maths. But anyway. You're such a prick. Stick with a 10. I'm going to say lower than a 10. Lower than a 10.

Lower than a 10. No. Ace. Oh, God. It's higher. But do you remember the rules? Because it can be low as well. We're going to go with poker rules and say that's a high card.

Or is that also in poker? It can be high or low. It can be high or low in poker. In which card game is the ace always high? Well, certain forms of poker, yes. Let's just say that's high and we'll move straight on. Next question. All right, okay, here we go.

We asked 100 people, when you first read a menu, which column do you look at first, the food or the price? How many people said they look at the price first? 30. 30. I'm going to say higher, right? Okay. We asked 100 people, do you look at the look at the price first 30 30 i'm gonna say higher right okay we have 200 people uh do you look at the food or the price first and the answer is 27 so i win no you didn't you said higher oh i did right okay sure go you don't fucking make the rules up i just don't want

to eat another cat right so what am i on paul you're on the last card queen you want to stick with the queen or get another card i? Of course I want to stick. Alright, so higher or lower than a Queen? Lower, obviously. Alright, lower than a Queen it is. A four. Boom. Eli Silverman.

Eat the dirty boozle. Oh, I'll spin for your boozle. Right. I hope you gag on this one as well, you motherfucker. Right. Ooh, it's chocolate pudding or canned dog food. Here, I'll hand you or canned dog food. Oh. Here, I'll hand you.

Hand me a brown one. I'll hand you a brown one. I hope this is chocolate pudding because the idea of canned dog food right now does not settle well, especially after eating. Just eat it. Eat it, chew it, taste it.

Chocolate pudding. Oh. Yeah, lucky, lucky you. Oh, lovely chocolate pudding. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Right. All right. All right, let's take another commercial break

and then we'll come back right after these messages. A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat. A finger of fudge is just enough until it's time to eat. It's full of peppery goodness but very small in need. A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat. So, now it's time for Cheap Eats. If you'll remember, if you listened to the last episode, I had some savoury, meaty products from the States that I brought back.

Oh, thank God. And this week, we are doing the sweet. Well, fingers crossed that it's an improvement, because outside of those crackers everything else was dodgy abattoir meat abattoir meat so i mean most meat comes from abattoir but yeah this was scraping off the abattoir floor yeah this is a slot bucket off cuts this was high powered water jet yeah and the gray sludge is compacted in the machine of doom. That's so dope.

It was weeks ago that you ate it. I know, but I can still taste it. It's that bad. So, let's start with something I've not seen before. Chocolate leather. Pardon? Chocolate leather? Yeah, it sounds like a sex act, but... Urban dictionary.

Chocolate leather. When two men... I don't want to know what it is. Doc. Fuck off. I bought this in Florida. It was in a Jewish deli. The funny thing about this Jewish deli, it was run by Hindus. Good old America, land of the free.

The thing is, that part of the States, you just get so many elderly Jewish people living there that the whole sort of local economy is kind of based on it. Yeah. No, they all go there. So we went to a Peruvian restaurant, for example, and we're like, there's no pork on this menu. Like, Peruvian. And we're like, why?

And just there's no call for it. So the whole local economy is kind of based around what these... What the Jews want. What the old Jews want. Well, no wonder the world hates them. You bring it on yourself, Jews. Great. Go on.

Okay, yeah, so we get hunted down by the fucking Israeli Secret Service now. You shouldn't have killed Jesus. If you hadn't have done that. Look, don't talk to me about it. So, this is a chocolate leather. It's by Manhattan Chocolates. And the description? Yeah.

Delicious. Chewy chocolate with coca nibates. And the description? Yeah. Delicious. Chewy chocolate with cocoa nibs and brown rice crisps. Nibs? It sounds awful. It says nibs. What's a nib? Cocoa nib. Yeah, but you say cocoa nib like it's a thing.

That's like a wrapper. Yeah, cocoa nib, yo. Sea nib. Yeah, with the new album, Chocolate Leather. Right. Fair trade. Certified. So this is a bit Health foody isn't it

So it probably means It tastes of nothing But it looks brown Only 50 calories Let's just go Let's go for it Let's go for it Let's dive right in

So I'm opening the packet On this chocolate leather You know the milk tray man Yeah He's a bit rapey isn't he What a man who dresses in black Breaks into your house And only leaves chocolates

Yeah Would you eat those chocolates yeah would you eat those chocolates? No no you don't know what's in them you don't know who the bloody

guy is especially if they're like liqueurs he might have put something in them it's like the secret service

rogue secret service agent is sort of courting me by breaking into my home to show he can and leaving

terrible cheap chocolates Mr Bond did you kill that spy? No but I did leave some choccies on that fat lass's bedroom surface.

She was right horny. Okay, so it looks like a chocolate leather. Do you know what it looks like to me? Do you know like in the UK we have those kind of sugary bars, like Wham bars? It looks like a Wham bar, a brown Wham bar. A brown Wham bar. I went to a gay club last night

and I came home with a chocolate Wham bar. Which, again, is... I went to a gay club last night, and I came home with a chocolate wham bar. Chocolate wham bar. That's great. Comedy gold. So, um... You're going to have a bite, go on. I'm going to bite. He's going through quite an expressive range of emotions on his face.

Surprise, confusion. It's like a chewy chocolate leather. Okay, I'll have a go. It's very chocolatey. It's chewy. It's got a chewy chocolate leather. Okay, I'll have a go. It's very chocolatey. It's chewy. It's got quite a deep chocolatey flavour. And there's a bit of a crackle. I think that's the rice cake, they said.

The rice cracker element. That's actually not bad. Not bad at all. Yeah, chocolate leather. It's alright, isn't it? Chewy. It tastes like a really flat Rice Krispie cake. Yeah.

That's alright, though. It's quite nice. It tastes like a really flat Rice Krispie cake. Yeah. That's alright, that. It's quite nice. Do you know what I mean about the chocolate flavour being quite a good chocolate flavour? Quite a rounded chocolate flavour. There's definitely some real cocoa. Almost smoky? Yeah. Oh, I like that. That'd be quite nice. That's not a bad eat. That's not bad at all. And it's only 50 calories.

Oh, so it won't go straight to my hips. Oh. Cocoa nibs. I've met cocoa nibs in that gay bar. He gave me a chocolate wham bar. I'd give that 8. Yeah, so would I. It's very nice, actually. Yeah, it's very nice. Alright, cool. Excellent. Number 2. Moving on. This is the other item I got from the

Hindi-Jewish deli. Okay. It's a jelly ring chocolate. Now, when you mix jelly and chocolate, I'm not a fan. You don't like Fry's Classic Turkish Delight? Do I? Fuck, no.

I get a hankering for those sometimes and nothing else will do. I like jellies, I like gummies and I like chocolate but I don't like the two of them combined.

Well, you're not going to like this because this appears to be exactly that. Jelly ring. Is that an Urban Dictionary thing as well? Yeah, that's when

you've been at a chemsex party for three days, and you lose control of your swing debt, okay? I took so much crystal meth, I had a jelly ring for the next two years. It's not actually jelly ring. It's gel ring. Weird. Oh, gel ring. Gel ring, chocolate covered, three rings per pack,

and it's by Joyver. Joyver, the little O, is comprised of a what looks like a sikh man with a big mustache and a huge turban oh so perhaps this is not jewish at all but uh well we will never know because we are ignorant let's have a look let's have a bite it's a manufactured in a facility where soy eggs and tree nuts may be present oh good you mean like hanging out reading magazines that that kind of thing, watching over them distinctly. Oh, fuck, the soy's in again.

Here he comes. We're going to have to put it on the packs. He's breathing all over our gel rings. Okay, so open this up. It's got that little tray format. Oh, that's good. Here are three gel rings. They look a bit sweaty.

They do look sweaty chocolatey. Oh, I can smell the gel. Oh, it's like a.... Oh, it's like a... What flavour? It's like a... It's got to be raspberry or... It's a raspberry flavour, I think. Always a raspberry.

Yeah, artificial raspberry flavour. Do you know what that is? Cockroach tits. No, that is beaver gland. Oh, it is beaver gland. How did humanity find that out? Someone was just sort of butchering some beavers and he thought, what's that flavour?

And then he was like, it's this gland. And he smelt the gland and he squeezed the gland in his mouth. It's like, ooh raspberries. Yeah, I'll sell that. I'm going to try one of these first. Alright. You're not going to like this. Oh no. It's got very very strong raspberry flavour.

Yeah. I quite like it. It's very reminiscent of a Fry's Turkish Delight. I don't know if people have had that. Yeah, like a rose flavoured-y kind of thing. It's very similar to that. So, go on. Let's have a look. It's a very sweaty chocolate.

You've got the sweatiest ring there. I've heard that before. Right, here we go. I think that's quite nice. No, that's fucking horrible. Is he going to gag? He's not. He's gagging.

He's spat in the bin. It's a spit out. Poor... To be honest, Paul, I didn't think that's the one that was going to make it. I was sure it was going to be the chicken strip in sauce. It's the fact that the chocolate's really sweaty. And then the jelly inside is like placentary.

And then you bite into it and it just goes in your mouth. And the chocolate's too weak. And it's got a kind of floral sort of... It's very floral oh okay so can I have can I have your score for the gel ring please

oh I give it two out of two out of ten and I would give it a five six

you've just got to count to ten now are you seven eight nine I'd say seven alright yeah I like them alright good I like them they are the original You've just got to count to ten now, aren't you? Seven, eight, nine. I'd say seven. All right. Yeah, I like them.

All right, good. I like them. They are the original. Good. Exclamation mark as well. Right, good. By Joyver. Let's have some fun.

Oh, let's have, finally. Let's have some fun on the show. Yeah. I've got Juicy Drop gummies. Chewy gummies and sour gel with applicator. This comes with a pen thing which you squeeze some Blue Rebel artificial flavoured into. Dare to drop, it says. No, it says.

So it's a gummy, but the applicator adds something sour to the top of it. Interesting. It's a pen, isn't it? Yes, and I'll be getting this out. It's by Bazooka Candy Brand. Okay, because they make gum. Yeah, Bazooka Joe, which is famous. So it's there. They're trying brand okay because they make gum yeah bazooka joe yeah which is famous so it's there they're trying to diversify into the sort of the problem is it's a toy sort of candy

yeah it's it's fun candy where you play with it the thing is when you say the word applicator to me it just says fanny thing you know oh in america good morning ladies yeah and in britain when we say fanny we mean to put it delicately, the cunt. So, sorry, bad language, the pussy hole. This is a pen, and it's got a little thing so you can clip it into your lab coat, you know, just in case you need a juicy drop at work. You never know when you're going to need a juicy drop at work. Sometimes after a hard curry the night before, when I'm at work, I have a very juicy drop.

Okay, and here they are. Yeah. I'm going to put four out so we can test two each, and I'm going to applicate. If you don't mind, I'll applicate the juicy drop for you. Okay, so I want to have one without the application first, just so I can taste the raw gummy. It's very important that I have the gummy

without the application at any point. Okay. Just so I can get a taste. Well, I'm going to give you the raw gummy here. I just want to taste it now. Eat it. Oh, I like that. That's a nice American candy, because'm going to give you the raw gummy here. I just want to taste it now. Eat it. Oh, I like that.

That's a nice American candy. Because usually they're chewy candies. Quite nasty. Very waxy. This one... It's just like a fruit pastel. Slightly softer. A softer fruit pastel, yeah. Nice.

Yeah, not too bad, that. You know what it's missing? The applicator. It's missing something sour. I want something sour with that. Yeah. And it's got a little dimple in it, I've noticed, so you can actually... It's actually got a little hole

in the top of this blue Juicy Drop gummy where I can put the Juicy Drop in. Yes. I'm going to applicate the juice from the Juicy Drop. Now, ooh. He's applicating.

Oh, this is... Ooh, it's quite fun, isn't it? It is quite fun. British Bake Off. Eat your heart out. Yes, I'm filling... It comes out in quite nice, thick quantity.

It's a thick, gloopy, sour thing. Oh, I like that. And now is the moment of truth. I'm filling Quite nice thick quantity It's a thick, gloopy, sour thing Oh, I like that And now is the moment of truth I'm handing the complete item over Okay Now, Paul is our gummy expert He loves a gummy sweet And I'm going to let him taste this

And just give you his feedback It's very pretty with the gloop in So I'm going to go right now And that's nice That's satisfying Is it sour? Not that sour It's slightly tart But That's satisfying. Is it sour? Not that sour.

It's slightly tart, but it's not repulsively sour like some candies can be. So I like that. I'm going to give that nine. I really like that. I can eat a load of those. Nine juicy drops. Gets the highest score so far.

Well, apart from 10, which you gave the, well, that was the other week, wasn't it? Yeah. We're not mentioning that. An aggregate, yeah. In your American batch.

Yes, the batch of American. I'm going to taste it. Well, it's nice, isn't it? It's nice, that. Oh, yeah. Oh. That's pure evil. It's not pure evil.

That hurts so good. Oh. It's not that sour. Can I just taste the stuff on its own? Yes, here. It's like a Sharpie-shaped applicator. Yeah, it's a Sharpie-shaped applicator. All right, I'm going to have a try of it just on the tip of my finger.

I'm going to put quite a bit on. Are you fucking going for it? All right. Look at that. Oh. It's nice. It's all right, but you do need the gummy, I think, to give it some quality texture. And the gummy as well, by itself, is too plain.

I mean, they've really made a product that works and hours of fun. Hours of fun. Squeezing it on. Oh, good. Nine. I'm going to commit to nine for that. Okay, good. You like that?

Yeah. That's fun for all the family. Right, next and final one, isn't it? This is the last one and this is also sour. This has been a very good selection, by the way. Thank you.

I am very impressed. I see you've already gotten into those. Oh, sorry. I have started these. I don't blame you. There are a lot of them. So, these are

new share pack sweet tarts. Oh! Sweet tarts. Sweet tarts. So, tangy candy. Oh like those uh chewy sours

lifesavers they are made by nestle sorry world i'm sorry i'm losing it i'm sweating yeah you got a sweat on i've got sugar sweats right come on these are chewy sours yeah and i think you'll find yeah these are quite nice. So I'm just going to apportion you a portion. There's three of them for you. So they're a little um...

Now these are these are tart. Your face! Is that your own face? You know, with the tears. That's my vinegar strokes face, yeah.

Alright, I'm going to have a go at this. I'm looking forward to this. They're not that tart. Yeah, not compared to like the Vimto Super Sours. Not compared to them. It is sour, not super sour. Very refreshing.

I like that. Oh, yeah. They're good, aren't they? They're sort of like a tutti frutti meets a... They are tutti frutti based, and with a kind of sour, sugar, sherbet-y kind of thing. Sherbet meets a tutti frutti in a sweet tart oh I like these they're good

well I've got some more for you for later thank you oh that's good nine again nine yeah oh they are very tart

very tart now just oh that's the good shit right very nice I had lots of fun especially the pen

which the applicator the applicator pen you squirt the sour into your gummy hole. Yeah, you could basically use that pen to write lick it, bitch, on your girlfriend's belly. You could. And then go to town. You could, if you were into that,

well, that would beat just putting a Jolly Rancher up someone's vagina, wouldn't it? Or you could, you know, drizzle it all over your dick end and have her suck you and cry at the same time. Or you could just lie in bed stuffing kebab into your face and crying that's your life not mine those are my us cheap eat sweets and thank you for bringing them stale smells up here often come from down there in your carpet smells from your dog and tobacco too well shaken back from ladies here it's all you have to do do the shaking back and put the freshness back do the Cheap Show Game Show Special.

Here is Eli Silverman, champion of the world. And who's this other dick? Are you fucking wanker? It's two-time loser, Gannon. Right, well, welcome back. He's eaten two dirty beans already. Shut up. He's going to eat some more crap before today's over.

I can tell you that, ladies and gentlemen. Shut up. Thank you. Right, we've played Blankety Blank, and we have played Play Your Cards Right. Today, we're going to end with our mammoth session of The Price is Right. Oh, yeah.

It's the fucking Price is Right. It's the fucking Price is Right. It's the fucking Price is Right. Oh, it's the fucking Price is Right. And that's shite. Actually, no, let's do it properly. Let's play the theme tune from fucking Price is Right. And that's shite. Actually, no, let's do it properly. Let's play the theme tune from The Price is Right. So we're playing The Price is Right.

Hey! We're big money prizes on the board today. We're going to be playing some games. We're going to play our first game, which is High-Low. High-Low. So what's going to happen is we're going to play two rounds of this, so we both get a fair whack at it. Game one is High-Low.

I'm going to put six cards out with items on. Okay. And you have to look at the items that are on the card and guess which of those six items are the highest, which three of those six are the highest You remove the three you think are the highest Leave the three behind you think are the lowest If you have more high cards than low cards You win

Simple right Okay we're going to do it once each We're going to do it once each So I'm just going to shuffle all this stuff How many beans are in the offering here How many do you want I mean how many you know There's one bean per game

So there's a bean This is a bean This is. One bean, yeah. So there's a bean. This is a bean. Bean pair game. This is a bean. Yeah. It's a bean game. It's a bean game. We're playing for all the beans.

All right, good. All right. Okay, here we go. I'm going to put out these random six cards, okay? We have some shaving foam. Shaving foam. A bar of milk chocolate. A bar of milk chocolate.

Some fresh milk. Mm. A bottle of shower gel. That's definitely branded, isn't it? It's old leather. Pork and herb sausages. Pork and herb? And finally, mouthwash.

Okay, so I need to pick the three most expensive items. Out of those three items, which three? Those six items. Yes, out of those six. This is why I could never be a game show host. No, you couldn't. Watch the rules again, Barbara! Barbara!

Barbara! So, six items. You've got the shaving foam, the chocolate, the fresh milk, the mouthwash, the pork and sausages and the shower gel. Pick three that you think are the most expensive items

on that list. Okay, I will do. He's taking the sausages, he's taking the shaving foam and what else? He's got the milk, the shower gel, the chocolate or the mouthwash.

Remember, there are weights to these. One is 100 grams, so that might also have an effect on the price. And he's taken the shower gel. Okay. Now is the moment of truth. Now is the moment of truth. Eli, turn over your three prices. The pork sausages are worth?

£2.19. £2.19. The shaving foam? £1.86. £1.86. And the shower gel? £1.70. £1.70. So if those are higher shower gel £1.70 £1.70

so if those are higher than what's left over here I win you win the mouthwash is worth 93p it's looking good

it's looking really good for you it's lower than all three of my items I already think you fucking won this I have but we'll see fresh milk 40p

of course it is and the chocolate bar is 74p I totally wrecked it. So you win that round. All three of my

items were, I literally picked the highest three items. All right, give us those three. So now it's my turn. Okay. See how well you do.

You shuffle the card. All right. And pick six out at random. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle. Yeah.

Nice. Yeah, it's nice. Shuffle the card. Oh, he's spilling them on the floor like a complete dick oh come on just let's not get

abusive here alright right here we go nice shuffling by the way very professional thank you so come on

let's see what you got totally at random yeah first extra wide foil 15 metres okay secondly strawberry jam strawberry jam First, extra wide foil, 15 metres. Okay.

Secondly, strawberry jam. Strawberry jam. 455 grams. Okay, kitchen roll, strawberry jam. Then we have... Just take it from the top, that's what I did. Bananas. Bananas. You're picking them and choosing them.

Just put the top... A bunch of bananas. All right, all right. I'm just trying to make it interesting. Jesus. By cheating and fishing through the ones you think you are. I'm not cheating. I don't need to cheat. No, apparently you don't. You're two beans down, all right? All right. I'm just trying to make it interesting. Jesus. By cheating and fishing through the ones you think you are. I'm not cheating. I don't need to cheat.

No, apparently you don't. You're two beans down, all right? All right. And then we've got cheese. Cheese. Continental cheese. Be careful. I saw the price of that.

All right. We don't have cheese. Right. Okay. I should have said that out loud. Bollocks. We don't have cheese. We've got a bottle of thick bleach.

All right. Bleach. Put the bleach down. 750 milliliters. Then we have, oh, you should know about this Frozen pizza Oh, okay You're a fucking expert I am

400g And lastly, but not least A variety pack Six packs of crisps Oh, six packs Six packs of crisps, variety pack Okay Pick your top three price

Okay, I'm going to go with I'm going to pick, first of all, this bottle of bleach I'd like the bottle of bleach, please Bleach for you there Okay, push that forward I'm going to also take the strawberry all, this bottle of bleach. I'd like the bottle of bleach, please. Push that forward. I'm going to also take the strawberry jam. Jam? He thinks it's more expensive.

And I'm going to go with pizza. Pizza as well. I'm going to go with pizza. He loves pizza. So, I have the pizza, the jam, and the thick bleach. So, let's start with the bleach. How much is the bleach? The bleach is worth 80 pence. I thought that might have been more. Oh, God. I can that might have been more.

I can't eat any more beans. Do you want to just eat the bean now? No. Pizza is worth £1.66. That's good. Now I'm in the game. You're in the game now. And the strawberry jam is worth 60p. Now.

Now. Jam's really expensive these days. I was going to go by 1986 prizes You've got to try and time scale it So If two or more of these items Yeah Are higher than two or more of your items

Yeah You eat the bean So, bananas Yeah 70p, you're looking good there Okay That's lower than all three of your items You're looking good

No, it's not as It's higher than bananas okay that's lower than all three of your items you're looking good no it's not it's higher than bananas so that's fine I'm still in these two need to be the winners still 15 metres of wide thickness foil £4.57

fuck off what the fuck is that foil being mate it's metal it's a resource it's metal poundland for a pound well it's not poundland

what's this? They only get the best, okay? Now, you're not looking good, but six packs. If this is over a quid, you're in trubs. Go on. Variety packs, six packs of crisps. £1.18. Eat the bean.

You actually tried as well, didn't you? I did. You're terrible at that. You are terrible at that. Okay. God almighty. Let's see if I can get a really nasty one here. Oh, you have to spin it.

You can't just pick and choose. I'm just going to spin. Oh. What is it? Buttered popcorn or rotten egg. Now, this one is really nasty, isn't it? I know. This is nasty as shit, this one.

Oh, God. Now, let me see. What colour is that? Is it that one? No, that's green. It's more a yellowy kind of one, isn't it? That one? Yeah. So, it's either popcorn or what? No, that's green. It's more a yellowy kind of one, isn't it? That one? Yeah.

So it's either popcorn or what? Eggs. Rotten eggs. Come on, give it here. It's going to be eggs. Stop making that noise. Seriously, are you okay?

This has been the best show ever I don't like it wow I just can't lose let's take a quick commercial break while we set up the final game for Price of Shite is right alright way down deep in the middle of the congo a hippo took in every cart of rubber on the mango he stuck up with the others and he danced a ditty tango the rhino said i know we'll call it

umbongo libby's umbongo. Libby's Umbongo. High juice drinks, free from artificial ingredients. And we're back. Okay. So we're going to play the final round of The Price is Right, and this game is called Cliffhanger. The rules are very simple.

I'm going to pick out three cards that have different types of prizes on them. I'm going to know and find out which of these three go from lowest to highest in terms of price. And then you have to guess the price of each item. For every pound that you're under or over, you go up the mountain. Or down the mountain again. No, no, up the mountain. You can only go up the mountain. You can't go down the mountain.

Whether I'm low or high, it goes up. As I say, if it's £25 and you guess £23, you go up £2. If you say £27, you go up the mountain you can't go down whether or higher it goes up if you're over if like if it's as i say if it's 25 pound and you guess 23 you go up to if you say 27 you go up to so that's how it goes you've got to get the price of right for three of these before you reach the end of the mountain which is 25 is this based on this uh on the tv alone no it's not based on the sliced alone movie at all all right good no all right so here Have you seen it? Yeah, I've seen the film. I love it. It's one of my favourite Die Hard knock-offs.

Die Hard Iron Man. That's good. Yeah, the film's fine. Your joke wasn't though. Your allusion to the thing was... Well, it's not... We're doing a conversational one. It's not meant to be funny,

is it? Shut up. I hope not. Right, okay. Because you're stinking out the place. You're such a fucking hairy prick. God, I hate you.

Right, I'm going to take three off the top. Ready? One, two, three. Okay. I'm going to look at these in terms of price. So it's that one, that one, and then that one. So, Eli.

I have to get all three prices right before I fall off the cliff. Okay, this is good. I'm liking this. I'm liking this. All right, here we go. I'm ready. So. What's the first item?

The first item, let me just get these right, is this. It's a waterproof car cover. Remember, all these things are two digit prices so no no lower than a pound zero one and no higher than 99 pound okay i would say 30 pounds 30 pounds for the waterproof car cover this is another game where if you go off the mountain you eat a bean by the way okay all right so waterproof car cover you say 30 30 the30. £30. The price is? £26. Not too bad. £26.

So that's how many? £4. One, two, three, four. Not too bad. Not too bad. All right. Okay. The next one on the list is this.

It is a cycle helmet and light safety set. How much do you think this is, knowing that it's more expensive than the waterproof car. £42. £42. Okay. You say £42. The price is £28. That's right.

Taking a bit too much joy in that there, Phil. So what's that? Is that 12 over? No, 42. So 28, 38. So it's that? Is that 12 over? No, 42. So 28, 38, so it's 14. Yes. So 1, 2, 3, 4, hang on, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. You are at 18 on the mountain.

What's the top? 25. Okay. So you have to make sure. I'm not within, yeah. Yeah, okay. Seven. Seven.

And then if I'm within seven, I win. Yeah. I don't eat the bean. No, you don't eat the bean. So here we go. Again, knowing that this prize is more expensive than that prize. Okay. So it is a stainless steel flask, travel mug, and cool box.

How much do you think this prize selection is worth? £32. £32. Okay. You're wrong, but how wrong are you? Yeah, I don't know. Here we go. Just tell me how wrong I am. What? I'm eating a bean. Just tell me. No, you're not. That's one.

It was £31. Oh, yes! I fucking hate your guts, Eli Silverman. I'm just too goodman I'm just too good I'm just too good for Paul Just too good for Paul Just too good for Paul Just too good for Paul Just too good

I hate you With all my fucking fizzy passion Okay ready for you to eat a bean now Ready for you to fizz off I thought you were going to get it When you got 14 over I was so happy I was so happy

Alright shuffle them And then take three off the top And then arrange them into... Lowest to highest. Lowest to highest. Okay. And remember, for tension, keep the last card a mystery. All right.

You know, like the way I did it. All right. Oh, my God. I am... This is not fair. You're just not very good at games. I'm not very good at games. It sucks.

It's fine. You're not competitive. You know, you could go play with the girls. You sexist scumbag. Alright, okay, you picked three cards out. So rank them from highest to lowest and

then tell me which one they are one by one and we'll do it one by one. Okay. Where's that theme tune gone? Now, Paul, are you ready to play Cliffhanger?

No, because I'm definitely going to eat a fucking bean, aren't I? Okay, let's see. Can we do a deal then? If I get this right, you eat a bean. All right.

All right? I'm prepared to do that, yeah. Thank you. At least I... Don't fall off the cliff, yeah. You are a fine sportsman, sir, and I appreciate it. Okay. Okay.

So, going from my left to my right... Just do one at a time. One at a time. Yeah. Put them aside. So, we have the cheapest of the three items now. Okay. What is it?

It's a galvanised steel post box. Okay. It's the type of thing you stick on your front door if you live in the suburbs and the mailman comes along your dog growls at it.

And it's the cheapest of the three things. Maybe your wife would have sex with the mailman. Right. Or drink some milk from her tits.

Right. Or something like that. You are an awful game show host. There it is. A galvanised steel post box. It's got a bugle on it. I know. Most of them do apparently. You are an awful game show host. There it is. A galvanised steel post box. It's got a bugle on it. I know.

Most of them do, apparently. You know why? No. Because postmen used to ride around on horseback with bugles. I did not know that. Here comes the mail. You fucking learn something every day, don't you? Okay.

All right. Okay. So how much? Two digit figure. How much is this worth? Imagine yourself in B&Q. Yeah. You're in the ornament section.

I thought I'd be good at this, and I'm not. I'm going to say that is £25. Okay. No! It is £32. Okay, so that's not too bad. So that's what, seven over? Yeah.

Seven under. Seven under. So I go up. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. He's climbing. Okay, and you're ready for your second item. I am ready. So I know it's 32, so it can't be lower than 32.

That's good. It can't be lower than 32, and it is a cordless drill. A cordless drill. Very handy. If you bought the galvanised steel postbox, you'd probably need something like that to attach it to your door. It makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense.

Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and guess that that is... And remember, it's higher than 32 pounds. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and guess that that is... And remember, it's higher than £32. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and guess that that is... I hate this game. It's a drill. I know. How much does it worth? I'm going to say £45.

Okay. It is £39. So that's not too bad. So six. Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six. Now you're doing better than i was at this stage of the game so this is where i can definitely blow it out of my arsehole you have to get it really wrong this last one you're doing good thank you i'm surprised i'm doing this well so that was okay

so what's the last one really way out okay but that was the last one again i wanted the price so i know price of the drill was 39 39 okay So this one can't be lower than £39. And it's a lean-to nylon greenhouse. A lean-to nylon greenhouse. That looks costly. It's more expensive than £39.

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and guess. This is horrible. The lean-to nylon greenhouse. It's nylon, so it's not going to be like glass. It's not that expensive. I'm going to say, I'm going to say 50 pounds. I am eating a bean.

Why? What is it? It's 49. Oh, you should have done the thing on its own, so I didn't know what it was until you got there. All right, there you go. So one. Yay, I don't eat a bean.

I eat a bean. Hang on, shut up. Wait there, watch this. I don't eat a bean. Just on, shut up, wait there, watch this. I don't eat a bean. Just Eli eats a bean. Maybe a bean. Eli, Eli, Eli eats a bean. Alright, do it.

I'm ready for this. I won't retch like a little girl. Alright, okay, here we go. Spinning it. And it is... Peach or vomit. Great. I'm going to go with this one.

I think that's the right one. Please let it be right. That's vomit. Oh, that's really unpleasant. Yes. Good. Oh, swallow it. Oh, that's so bad.

Swallow it. Oh, no. Put it... Eat it. Eat it, you dirty little bastard. I don, swallow it. Oh, that's so bad. Swallow it. Oh, no. Put it, eat it. Eat it, you dirty little bastard. I don't want it. Eat it, you grotty little toerag. It really is like vomit. Yeah.

It's like bile. Oh, down it goes, grandad. Oh, anyway, where were we? And that concludes Today's video game Not video And that concludes Our

Showbiz Game show Cheap show Special show I won Yeah you did win And quite handsomely too That was a fun game

Yeah apart from the eating That's really Woo Yeah It's a terrible bean So good sportsmanship anyway And it's nice to know That you ended on a vomit Yes from the eating that's really whoo. Yeah. It's a terrible bean. Oh so good sportsmanship anyway and it's nice to

know that you ended on a vomit. Yes good. Right so that's the end of the show. That's the end of

the cheap show today. Is it? Yeah it is. Now we'll see it for another time. Yeah we're low on material as it is so

let's spread it out. Okay seriously. Yeah. Alright that's cheap show for today. That's cheap show for today. That was our game

show special. And Paul where can people if they want to know more About our crazy podcast Where can they hear about it And do it And find it and stuff

Well you can find us On iTunes, Stitcher Most independent podcast apps Just look for Cheap Show Or The Cheap Show If you do a search engine On that

However we do have Our own website It is www.thecheapshow.co.uk And what can they find Like pictures Illustrating the pod That we've just done Yeah if you want to see pictures and videos,

well, not videos, we didn't take any, but pictures of the games that we played today, you can do. We have a dedicated page for every episode, so just go on there, find episode 20, click on it, and you can see pictures and maybe some videos of the clips that we showed from all this kind of game show stuff.

And you know what we've got coming up on future episodes? No. Eli's Top 3. Oh, we've got to do a Top 3. That'll be coming back. And also all the good stuff. You remember from the old shows when we used to be good.

We're still good now, you stupid prick. Like Bad Vinyl. We're going to do Bad Vinyl and because of due to popular demand, we're going to also play Don't Get Mad,

the role play game about managing your temper. Yes, for children. I like that. I was very good at that. So that's coming up in the next batch of shows. But other than that,

I've been at Paul Gannon's show on Twitter. Follow me there. I'm Eli Snoyd at Twitter. You can follow me, but I probably won't pay attention. No, you don't. Because I'm shit at Twitter. I don't care.

I'm from a different generation. Right? I don't fucking care. I want real love. I want real life. I'm sick of it. It's a synthetic world. I won't be part of it.

Eli Snoyd on Twitter. Right. And that's it for our show. I hope you've had a great time listening to this as much as we had making it we're off to slit

our fucking wrists bye everyone bye I'm a secret lemonade drinker shh always always

I'm trying to keep it up but it's one of those nights always always always lemonade Always. I've been trying to keep it up, but it's one of those nights. Always. Always. Always lemonade. I'm a secret lemonade drinker.

Always. Always. Always lemonade. Always. Always. Always. Always. Always lemonade.