CheapShow - Ep 204: Anti-Comedy

Episode Date: November 13, 2020

What is comedy exactly? It's not 100% clear if Paul and Eli know what comedy is at all, but this week, they attempt to look at what is often erroneously called "Anti-Comedy" thanks to another delicious vinyl record discovery! The cheap chaps take a deep dive into the world of alternative comedy, the work of Ted Chippington, psychobilly music and curious independent record labels in this week's Silverman's Platter. Paul has something special to show off this week too! Although it's tough to call it a "cheap" purchase (thanks packaging and postal costs), the Gannon's Golden Game segment gets a new addition when Paul reveals his electronic The Price is Right game. It's bloody lovely! Don't worry if you think we are all taking it too seriously this week, there is also Paul's "Grandad Discipline Stick" and Eli's "Knob People" to look forward to!  And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-204-anti-comedy If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Podbible Interview: https://podbiblemag.com/2020/06/12/a-special-cheapshow-celebration/ MERCH Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Paul is writing a book! Want to help make it happen? https://unbound.com/books/ghosts/

Hello everybody, I am Eli Silverman. Over across from me on the couch in the house of mash and eggs is Paul Gannon. And it's time again, this very week, now for Cheap Show! Hi Paul, how you doing? Hello, Mr. Paul. I'm alright, I'm alright mate. Mr. Boys and Girls Paul, how you doing? Mr. Boys and Girls and Mrs. Ladies and Gentlemen. Oh, hello.

Hello. That perked me right up when I say that. It gets... Like that. Fucking... It's like, I'm flaccid, and then I get to say, Mr. Boys and Girls and Mrs. Ladies and Gentlemen.

There's a little pulse. There's a little flex. Doesn't it go from flaccid to rock hard within 60 seconds? That's what they should have done a porn film. They did a porn on that. Based on zero to 60 seconds. Boffed in 60 seconds. No, it should be flaccid to rock hard in 60 seconds.

So what's the film? 60 seconds of a man going hard. Well, what you do is Here we go. get a cattle prod and if you stick it right up someone's arse, a guy's arse Yeah, it's Jacksy.

It will prod the prostrate and you go That's what a happy ending is, Paul. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's not. I've never had a happy ending like that. They flip you over and go, fuck, and the masseuse goes straight up, flips you over, two fingers

right on the prostate, and that's a happy ending. Ladies and gentlemen, this is usually a podcast about the economy. It's not really. It's mostly a podcast about... About the economy. About economic things. Like, no, it's not. No, it's not.

It is about fucking up the arse, isn't it? No, if you went to a masseuse... Yeah. And then you get a lovely massage, scented oils... Let me explain to you, ladies and gentlemen, that Cheap Show is a podcast. First of all, that is a fact. Secondly, its topic is scatological in nature, but fundamentally it's about the things we find in charity shops,

bargain bins, pound lands, jumble sales, such and the like. He or she might say to you after the massage bit is over, would you like a happy ending? And you think, oh, this is where they josh me off. Yeah. But they don't. They flip you over. If you say yes, please. How much is it, Tina?

Right. Flip you over. What if I said 30? Would I get a better experience? You'd get it three times. Well, all right. Then I'm paying 30 quid. No experience? You'd get it three times. Well, all right. Then I'm paying 30 quid. No, you wouldn't want it three times.

Oh, dude. Because what they do is they flip you over. Fuck! Straight in! Fucking knuckle deep! Tickle the prostate. You go... You have...

Even if you're not erect yet, it just all goes... Oh, it just all chunders out? That's horrible! I guess that's Cheap Show. Hello! I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's just a fact of Cheap Show

you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Cheap Show. Off-brand, brand, brand, off-brand, brand, off-brand. It's the price of shite. Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheap Show. And I go and I nuzzle. Let's try this again. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Cheap Show. It's nice in here. We have a podcast about all the lovely things that we find in charity shops and such and whatnot. It's that kind of show. All the things, the rummage sales, the bargain basements. I've never heard of rummage sales before, but I like the phrase. Now we have. I'm holding wood.

It's a block of wood from last week's episode, everybody. This is my... It's a wood shaver. Do you know what? This is now a new prop in Cheap Show. This is called my Eli prod. What do you do with it? Every time you get on me tits, I'm just going to go, no.

Oh, it's got some girth. Yeah, it's got some girth. I'm going to whack you with my wood when you displease me this week. I didn't say anything. I know, but it's your fucking temperament. This is violence. This is violence and abuse and assault. Look at this.

It dangles. He's now pretending that the piece of wood people is his knob people. The wood people? The knob people are wood people? Where are they from? Well, they're... Hello, boys and girls.

Today it's time for a new adventure with the knob people. I'm a knob people. I'm just one person, but I'm calling myself a people because I've got loads of... loads of people in my head. Hello, here's Sheila. Sheila Knob. Hello. She's in my head. Here's Johnny Knob. Hello. He's in my head. Hello, here's Sheila Knob. Hello.

She's in my head. Here's Johnny Knob. Hello. He's in my head. And there's Roger the Knob. That's just me. So there's three people, but it's just in one person,

the Knob people. You know who I hate. You know who I absolutely cannot stand. You know who I would put on a moon boat and send them to Mars. Put on a moon boat? God, mate. Don't question me. Mate, I regret starting this up. I hate the wood

people. I was looking for more whimsical. I hate the wood people and here they come. We are the wood people. We live in trees. I regret this considerably. I thought I was going to do something whimsical. Something quite nice as it stands. We could do whimsy. We're the wood people. No, you don't do whimsy.

Because the minute I say, oh, hello, here's Mr. Badger, you flip it over, stick two fingers up its arse and give it a happy ending. Give a badger a happy end. No. Last time I went to a massage and she said, do you want a happy ending? You know what?

I said, yeah. And you know what happened? We got married and had three kids and lived in a big house. It was great. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, it's a bit more thought out than just you invading an orifice with you evading with i don't evade orifices i go right for him you go you you invade i home in i home in on the orifice i evade i've got the orifice radar

the arsehole bleeps in green paul blip blip arsehole incoming. Blip, blip. Here comes... I'll stop this podcast. You won't stop it. I'll stop it right now. You won't stop it. Rummage sales. Ow! He's hit me with his wood. Stop.

That's exactly what this is for. That, all that shit you just did. I should have brought this stick in sooner. Shall I send the knob people and the wood people away? You don't even have to. We could just not do anything else right now on that topic. They're going to recur throughout this whole episode. No, they're not. I am the wood people.

I'm the not people. I'm the wood people. Congratulations, Mr. Silverman. You've spoiled my plans yet again. My discipline stick is now impotent. It's a flaccid impotent stick. Does it chunder? No, it's a stick of wood I was going to hit you with

across the episode. You've already have hit me with it. Yeah, and I should have hit you more. Or flip you over and stuck it right up your cavity. Happy ending. Right, on this week's episode of Cheap Show.

Oh, I've lost the will, mate. No, don't. Just because I've stopped you from going off on one of your arse tangents. I'm just... You used to play along. Do you know what it is mate what a

comment recently upset me on youtube so that one that you reposted the one that said this show used to be about stuff and now it's just cum vomit spunk and my instant reaction to that comment was you have not listened to this podcast because as far back as i can remember eli was putting something in his mouth and going what a cummy sticky goo load something like that do you think we mentioned spunk explicitly on the first ever episode of cheap i can even tell you remember when we did the live shows from the beginning and as i asked out fuck tramps why i fuck trap joshua it all goes back five years ladies and gentlemen and those who have followed my so-called career will know that's all I've ever done, ever, in my comedy.

And I'm proud of it. I don't mind. There was that one gag. No, I'm cutting this out. Sorry, I just got a message. The context of that was different. No, it's the wood people. It's not the wood people.

They're very unhappy. With what? I'm going to beat you with my discipline stick. They're unhappy that you are using a piece of wood because they need to give their permission. What, am I... Is this like their granddad or something? They are spirits of the wood, Paul,

and they imbue every wood night. Yeah, well, what am I doing with their relatives then right now? You're rubbing the gusset of your jeans with it. Yeah, I'm rubbing its granddad's head on me gooch. Oh, let's start. No, no, you don't get to say that now. You don't get to tell me when to stop rubbing granddad's wood head on me gooch.

I tell you what, mate, if anyone just tuned in, they thought, I'll give this podcast a go. This isn't a radio show where they just tune in. Listen, five seconds in, new listeners were lost to us. Let's just admit it now. He's still rubbing the wood on his goat shed.

I'm actually beginning to feel a little bit of heat. Now, Paul, what have we got coming up on the show today? Coming up on the show today, we have a Silverman's Platter. Oh, yeah. And we also have a little special something, actually. It's a Gannons Golden Games. It's a Gannons Golden Games. But even though we've tackled this particular game show before,

we've never tackled it in the electronic gaming medium. So stay tuned for that. Maybe I'll have to say Gannon's Golden Games in an electronic robot voice. You know what? I would approve that. And so would Grandad Woodstick Discipline Man. He's not a man. He is. He's not.

Look. He's now blowing. He's doing a blowjob on the wooden. Oh, it was so big in my mouth. Oh, granddad. What am I doing? What am I doing? What are you doing?

Wood perverts tuning into this show. Oh, do you listen to episode 204? Is it episode 204? Yeah. Oh. Oh. Come on. Play the sound effect. No. Do you listen to episode 204? Is it episode 204? Yeah. Come on. Play the sound effect.

No. I'll do it when I want. All right. I'll leave it to you, Paul. Can I just say, though? Yeah. Take away from this intro. Yeah.

Badger happy ending. Yeah. Wood people. Dirty grandnads. They're like the elves. Yeah. And the knob people are like the little ground goblins. Yeah. Yeah.

They look like little button mushroom penises. Yes. Oh, and the knob people. And the knob people. But they only appear as one person. Richard Knob person. This is a bit like that Green Lantern knockoff you do as well. No, no.

Huff Quiffer or whatever his name is. No, no. Quiff Huffer? Quiff Huffer. Quiff Huffer. do as well no no quiffer or whatever his name is no no quiffer quiffer quiffer just just a catalog of poorly thought out lazily executed characters from the mind of eli silverman and all i have to say on that is i'm sorry ladies and gentlemen i wanted this to be a respectable podcast you did i wanted it to be high class you wanted to be featured up along those big podcasts like My Dad Writes a Porno or There's No Such Thing as Fish.

What's There's No Such Thing as Fish? It's a QI one, isn't it? Where people go, did you know? And someone goes, I didn't know. And then someone else goes, actually, I did know. That's that podcast. So yeah, we're not like them. And we can't be.

We're Cheap Show. The Mucky Boys that you love so much. I'm Paul Gannon. Reign it in, mate. Come on, we've got to go to the sound effect. Let's do the sound effect now. I'm going to get it out of my sound effects box. Look, I'm just...

Get out, have a little scrummage around in the box. Let's have a look. Which one shall I pick? Shall I pick that one? Do you want this one? I like the jingle jangle one. Do you want the jingle jangle one? I like the old-fashioned cash register. Do you want the cash register one? Yeah. All right, here's the cash register one? Yeah.

All right, here's the cash register one for you. I'll put it in now. And now it's time for a very popular segment of Cheap Show where we look at vinyls of years past. Records, tapes. I've got a new tape player, Paul. Oh, I know. A Yamaha.

So any bizarre tapes you see when you're on the scrimmage, out in the charity shop, pick them up. I'll say this. Even though platters have been largely vinyl, right, and that's not a problem, we probably have missed out on a lot of interesting stuff because we haven't included cassettes and CDs. Now, CDs lack the uniqueness of a vinyl find

because they're mostly compilations or albums. There's nothing really unique like some of the stuff we're going to talk about today. It's hard to... What you're saying is it's hard to find CDs that are obscure or noteworthy to talk about in any particular way. But there's all sorts of strange stuff

that appears on cassettes because cassettes... Very old format, the compact cassette. Back to the 60s. If you want to know more, go to Techmoan's YouTube site. He goes into it in graphic detail. Back to the 60s if you want to know more go to techmoans what our youtube site he goes into it in graphic detail back to the 60s isn't it they go earlier i think it's like 50s or something when the first cassette tapes were being banged around no i believe no but that the you

mean commercial sales no i mean the actual format of the compact cassette which is the tape that yeah that was 60s anyway the point being is that fucking Fucking hell, that phrase. Fucking hell, that phrase. The point being. The point being. You've got to stop me. I don't even notice it. It's just one of your things. It's one of the things I do.

My brain doesn't know what to do next and it needs to jump to a sentence. Yes, it's a linking phrase, isn't it? I need to just get to the point. Just say the point. Just don't say the point. Cassettes are good for odd stuff. I like cassettes and a friend of mine,

he had this Yamaha component cassette player that he gave me. Part of a modular system. And it is broken but only in terms of the bracket that you slot

the cassette into is broken. You need a bit of a fiddle to get it to play. I like to have a slibble in my flob. But you, and it's got Dolby

up the yin gang, hasn't it, man? But some of that Dolby's unnecessary. Like a lot of formats didn't use it. But if it has got it, it's got lovely,

and the sound is lovely, isn't it? Yeah, didn't we listen to Prince Purple Rain? It sounded great. We listened to the first track of Purple Rain. Purple Rain.

Let's Go Crazy, isn't it? Let's Go Crazy. It's a great song. So yeah, we should do more cassettes. That's good. But a lot of kids' stuff came out on cassette.

A lot of... Like Rainbow cassettes. Yes, where they're named. Storybooks and things. Storyteller. There's loads of cassettes out there that you've probably not given enough time to. We can control it.

The last time we did was when we featured the Benny Hill cassette. Remember that had songs from his original ITV show? Oh, yes. All the kind of weird spashtitas and kind of almost political stuff he did. Now Paul, when I was first getting into soul music I had some

Motown, the Motown Story cassettes, for their 25th anniversary I believe. And that was a compilation of songs that told the story track by track of the evolution of that label. But more than that they had interviews and little bits in between the tracks where they talked. And so it was really

sort of immersive. You heard about how they were made. And one that stuck out to me was the reflections. You know that Diana Ross in The Supreme Show? Yeah.

Reflections of... And it's got... It's got all these weird sort of electronic things in it. They sprinkle throughout. And they were saying they were trying to sort of keep up with the times and give it a bit of a sort of zhuzh. But weirdly, that led to the kind of, I'm not going to say downfall,

but like the kind of how bland Motown got in the 80s. Well, that was decades later. True, but the whole of the sort of soul scene got bland. But there's some good 80s Motown stuff. The ebb and flow of just being a record label, I suppose. And they moved from

the Motor City of Detroit in 69. They relocated to LA. Oh, I did not know that. Yes. That would have changed a lot as well.

The philosophy of place does change depending on where it is in the country. It did. Ah, well, there you go. So, yeah, there's

loads of cassettes. Also, things like, for instance, when the BBC released cassette comp. Also, things like, for instance, when the BBC released cassette compilations for things like Comic Relief, you know, they brought out special tapes you could buy.

Yes. They had, there's one that was like smashy and nicey doing links to all the Comic Relief songs. It was like a proper little radio play. Yes.

They aren't going to be on vinyl. They only exist on the cassette. And don't exist on CD. And also, Radio 1. This is just one example that springs to mind, but it was unique because of it when Independence Day

came out they brought out a radio play in the style of War of the Worlds and what the idea was it starts with Radio 1 Radio 1

and then it presents it and then we're getting news as a fake news story yeah and then it becomes adventure where it's like you see Independence Day

from the UK's perspective in London through news reports it was like a sort of promotional well no it was just it was there obviously a sort of promotional Well no it was just it was there obviously to sell the movie

but fundamentally it was just an extra thing to buy and I think Dirk Maggs did that Was it on like a magazine cover because they used to give out

No it was a purchase you bought it I remember buying mine in W Smith's And it was on cassette Yeah but I think it was only like half an hour

so it was like 15 minutes or so each side Like a little short cassette yeah Directed by Dirk Maggs who does amazing work in radio

he does all the he does the recent Hitchhiker's Guide stuff. He did The Death of Superman for audio. He's done Aliens. He does work with... He's fucking great,

Dirk Maggs. It's just occurred to me sort of one of the advantages of cassette because it doesn't matter... You don't have to fuck around with formats or speeds, do you?

No. You can have a single. You can have a whole album. Anything. Because they all turn at the same speed. You don't change the speed. Yeah, you don't have

to do anything. Or you don't have to like... With records, have to do anything or you don't have to like with records you need a convert you know adapter to get through the dinked 45 yeah single none of that none of that but it's often faffing it's often you know maligned as a format but that's because during the kind of a boom of its popularity 80s and 90s it was cheap tapes because they were farming them out they And they sound bad. And the cassette boom boxes you got were low quality equipment. And that's the problem now. It's a similar problem that the vinyl resurgence has come across. People cashing in, companies cashing in by doing those terrible record players.

Yes. And so people go, oh, I remember vinyl sounding so good. And then they get one of those things and it's fucking atrocious. But then weirdly, back in the day, they wouldn't have sounded that great on one of the vinyl players of the day that you could afford with the money you had. No, it would. Your standard cheaper record player back in the day. Like 50s, 60s, if you had a small portable record player. The point is, what you'd play on those small portable record players in the 50s and 60s were 45 RPM 7-inch singles right which have the big groove yeah the loud

louder groove so they're designed to punch through on a jukebox in a in a busy bar or whatever okay and so it would sound good because it'd be really loud and the speakers would probably help somewhat than a tinny and it would be better than those those uh briefcase things the cross no i totally understand that break they are awful. But the point I was trying to make, in a similar way that there's all these terrible briefcase vinyl players on the market now

because of the vinyl revival and they sound terrible and you've got these... Cassettes. The mechanisms, are they Takeshin, Taneke? I can't remember the name they use. But there's a standard cassette mechanism,

which is in any cassette player that you buy now, and it's shit. They're all shit. And the heads are shit. And this Yamaha I got for free is fucking lovely. And you forget that they actually can sound really nice. It's a really warm, do you know what I mean? That must have been a mid-90s one.

And the mid-90s ones, they say, are often the best to get your hands on, because that's when when at the top end it's got those lovely buttons the touch I don't know what they're called

those touch buttons just touch button controls I don't know it's just a good it's got a good reader good head on it

yeah and you know it's got all the Dolby's you've got Thomas that's the only Dolby

that's the only one I know blinded me with science blinded me with science Paul Blinded me with science. Paul, we're not here to discuss formats or... No, but it was a nice little chat to warm us up. We are here for Silverman's Platters.

It's the section of the show where I do unearth, source, uncover, find... Unsheath. Unsheath. Yes, very much. Undress. Shut up. Just skin alive. Turn inside out. find unsheath yes very much undress shut up just skin alive

turn inside out up end spank up gajizzle on hippodizzles right records that's what we talk about

that is eventually what we end up talking about records and we like novelty records we like novelty rap records we like moog records

we like anything that seems to have a story behind it that we can delve into. And we think we found one this week. We certainly have, Paul. But before that, we need to formally introduce this segment by going over to the patron saint of Silverman's Platters. And that is Mr. Clyde McFatter. And I found a Clyde McFatter record the other day, didn't I? Yeah, you did.

What was it? It was Thank You, Love, which is a Stevie Wonder tune on Motown. Oh, a cover. It's on a British label called Derham, but you can see Jobet Carlin. If you see on a record that says Jobet Carlin, Jobet. That's always Motown. Oh, really? Yeah. Like licensed to this other lady?

Yeah. Yeah. Why would they do that? I have no idea. But it's British. So it's a... Derham is British. So it's probably something

that wasn't released on British Motown for whatever reason. Would that have been a Northern Soul label? Derham? Yeah. No, Derham had a lot

of different stuff, but it's mainly known for sort of psych and rock. Oh, really? Heavy rock and stuff, yeah. That's an interesting thing to release then, a kind of fatter. And I think it may have been a subsidiary of Decca

because it's got this sort of, it's brown. It's kind of browny yellow label. But the company sleeves, you know, the Decca ones have that spiral, blue spiral. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Derham have exactly the same one, but it's brown spiral. Oh, the brown spiral. Yeah, yeah exactly i've had the brown spiral i gave my granddad a trip to the brown spot i got

my gran out and i fucking rode her down the street last week pig sex this week geriatric sex no pigs and geriatrics geriatric pork now you married them together old pigs the fuck to death sorry that was another digression about but it's called thank you love and it's produced by

musically arranged by the guy called Johnny Harris who did footsteps on the moon we should cover him one time he's one of these

guys like one of these sort of brit music guys a bit like Tony Hatch yeah and what's the

other guy the Telstar guy uh joe meek yeah but he was much um there's an album called i think reflections by johnny harris is brilliant and it's got walking on the moon footsteps on the moon which is brilliant i don't know that one off top it's sort of like orchestral sort of that brit sort of um like a tell story instrumental thing yeah but tell star the thing with joeek stuff, it's very uniquely Joe Meek. It's kind of that weird tape loop sound that he's got. Anyhow, it's a great song,

and it shows also that the patron saint of this segment... Oh, yeah, I still have to do that bit. Go on. Mr Clyde McFatter. He started right back in the R&B rock and roll days, and he's going all the way up into the sort of northern soul era yeah as well so you want to introduce him so i can have a bit and we well we need to go over to him yes now and he needs to introduce this section so going over now to clyde mcfatter the patron saint of silverman's uh platters uh are you there clyde hello i'm here i hope you enjoy this segment thank you very much

clyde oh all right thanks to hear oh all right so i found this record in a charity shop in muzzle hill i sent you a picture of it said so i grabbed this and you said yeah so i did that's it and i got it we pointed it out because the name on the front rang a bell because i'm not completely okay about comedy especially stand-up comedy but when i saw the name ted chippington i was like that rings a bell yes um the only thing i recognized from the cover is we've got a fuzz box and we're going to use it yes so what i've got here i'll just tell them exactly what it is it's called the vindaloo summer special starring the nightingales ted chippington and we've got a fuzz box and we're going to use it and it's basically uh what would you say it is a A single EP or an EP? It's a 12-inch EP. It's a 12-inch EP.

It's got three tracks on the flip and... Just the one. But also, it's got... On A. It's a lot of different things, actually, Paul, because it's the Vindaloo Summer Special, and the Vindaloo is the label. So it's like a label sampler.

A lot of people would put out sampler LPs with a song by all their artists on their roster, for example. But I've got some from the Atlantic Company sampler compilations. Yeah. And some of them have tracks that aren't anywhere else. For example, one of them has this tune, Hey, Hey, What Do You Say by Zeppelin, which wasn't released anywhere else. But only on that sampler. which wasn't released anywhere else but only on that sampler

and also as a single in America but you have to remember Zeppelin never put out refused to put out singles in the UK I did not know that Why was that? Because they were like it's an album Oh and with a single driven Yeah there's a huge thing that

albums were like took over their sales at that time the prog rock era that was because it was the whole thing with the hippie thing you put it on and you can skin up

and you don't have to get up tune in drop out whatever it is so the LP was sort of dominant at that particular

historical moment very dominant because it was a single led industry up until like the 60s and 70s when the concept album started exploiting the fact that

you could put songs of certain length on exactly you longer songs as well because of the whole sort of psychedelic thing meant that you know songs were elongated they had a freak out fall asleep face first in your moog and call it a 12 minute track yeah or it was uh you know emerson lake and palmer and all that wank i was sent up in We Are Spinal Tap when he goes, this is Jazz Odyssey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So let me just quickly say what Vindaloo Records is because I want to bring up a little point you made on that. So the label was started by Robert Lloyd,

who was of the Nightingales, who's one of the bands on this EP, who started the label to self-release the Prefix, Robert's first band debut, going through the motions, and the label subsequently released music from artistslease the Prefects, Robert's first band debut, Going Through the Motions, and the label subsequently released music from artists such as the Nightingales, We've Got a Fuzzbox, and we're going to use it, Ted Chippington,

Jerry and Terry, Legs of Kimbo, and The Bum Bites. Yes. I've not heard of The Bum Bites, nor have I heard of Jerry and Terry. Legs of Kimbo I have, but only from the League of Gentlemen reference. Do they reference that band? No, there's a theatre acting group company that go around schools called Legs of Kimbo I have, but only from the League of Gentlemen reference. Do they reference that band? No, there's a theatre acting group company that go around schools called Legs of Kimbo.

Okay. Now, it says bonus three-track B-side. So it's like, yeah, we've put an extra track on. Yeah. Because you can fit more on a 12-inch. So it's like a label sampler. Here's why I disagree. I don't think it's a sampler.

I think it's a gimmick EP. I think the idea is, because here's the thing. The album cover looks like one of those British seaside postcards which was a very British thing where it was usually some kind of innuendo with a character and a wife. You know, those kind of one-frame comic gags.

Kiss Me Quick, sort of. Smutty Seaside Schumer. That you'd get and you'd send as a dirty little gag to your mum or your grandad or your friends. Yes. Whatever. You didn't have to list who you could send it to. You could send it to anyone.

They wouldn't have to be... Specifically, your mum, your grandad, who's a dirty beast. What about your gran? She wouldn't like it. No, she likes those playing cards with men's dicks on them. She's more into that. So, it's called the Vindaloo Summer Special from the label Vindaloo.

It features the Nightingales, Ted Chippington and Fuzzbox, right? And I get the impression this is them just fucking about. Because what genre of music would you say this is before we get into talking about Ted Chippington? Would you say it's Psycho Billy, did you say? That's what it's closest to. And Psycho Billy is sort of rock and roll mixed with punk. Yes. Isn't it?

Yeah. And also another characteristic of Psycho Billy, because the Cramps are one of the bigs and the Misfits, they're both Psycho Billy groups, I believe. Yeah. They take sort of punk energy, but they use the music's more like primitive rock and rockabilly, which is a, rockabilly is a precursor to classic rock and roll.

Yeah. And was again, sort of hillbilly. It comes from rock. Right sort of hillbilly. It comes from rock. Right. And hillbilly. And then that kind of developed in the UK in Skiffle and that kind of folksy take on it all. Yes. But Psychobilly was sort of like a rockabilly revival in the punk era, basically.

Right. But another thing about rockabilly is they were very fond of schlocky sci-fi and horror imagery. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think this is that example. Rather than the horror imagery, they're taking the piss out of the British. Like, for instance, the Beano Summer Special that came out once a year, the annual. Or the Lookin' Summer Special. But you say that, Paul, but look at the depiction on the cover of Ted Shippington.

Who is he depicted as? Well, he looks a bit like Frankenstein's monster, but he just looks hungover and ill. that paul but look at the depiction on the cover of ted shippington who is he depicted as well he looks a bit like frankenstein but he just looks over and ill yeah but it is men of b so they are sort of referencing the horror the horror sci-fi aspect there as well aren't they i guess because like you look in the sea and there's an eyeball on a thing there you go yeah i hadn't noticed it's an interesting image because you got this drawing in the style of those postcards where it's like the fuzz box they're laughing a laugh there a naughty schoolboy, there's someone spilling ice creams, and then there's a guy on the beach with a booze. I hope there'll be a picture of this on the website.

Yes. So the whole thing to me... Just to sum up, Paul, I think the genre is novelty psychobilly. Yes, it has to be novelty because of the involvement of Ted Chippington. Who is a stand-up comic. Who is a stand-up comic. of Ted Chippington. Who is a stand-up comic.

Who is a stand-up comic and it's interesting. So I didn't know too much about Ted Chippington other than his reputation, how certain comedians like Mark Lamar, Phil Jupitus, Stuart Lee,

kind of are, they worship him. They love him. They liked him because of his style. He has a sort of diffident. It's what we would call anti-comedy

in that it's kind of going out of it. He's sort of ashamed of the jokes and they're bad. It's funny in the way that how it goes out of its way to purposely not be funny and the joke is that

incongruity between the effort put involved in downplaying your quite well-written gag or hiding it. They're groaners, aren't they? But they're sort of,

it's like groaners but it's, I don't know, who is the most sort of anti-comedy, most, the biggest anti-comedy comic of all time? I don't know. is the most sort of anti-comedy most the biggest anti-comedy comic

of all time I don't know Stuart Lee Stuart Lee formulates jokes and gags I would say you know

someone like we can talk about him a bit later but someone like Neil Hamburger is probably the best example of someone who does

anti-comedy although Eric Andre also does a lot of it basically anyone on fucking Adult Swim deals in anti-comedy. Although Eric Andre also does a lot of it. Basically anyone on fucking Adult Swim deals in anti-comedy to some extent. Yes, I mean, like Heidecker and...

Yeah, Tim and Eric. Tim and Eric. Is that sense of the comedy is... Well, on cinema, that people both know we both love. Yes. I mean, Tim Heidecker has said on record that he hates the term anti-comedy

because he thinks it kind of goes against all the effort they put into doing this. And I agree. It's just that what the... I think what the because he thinks it kind of goes against all the effort they put into doing this. And I agree. It's just that what the... I think what the phrase... But for want of a better term, it sort of works. For want of a better term.

Because I think it says like they create a humorous void where the gag should be. Yes. But that in itself is the gag. It's the failure. It's very close to what we do on this podcast, isn't it, Paul?

It's similar to like... Built to fail. You see what I mean? It's failing, but in an amusing way's it's shambolic yeah yeah it works on how shabby or unprofessional it is yes and there's a sense of that to this so Ted Chippington real name Francis Smith uh born 1962 in Stoke-on-Trent and is a British uh my family half my family from Stoke-on-Trent is that in the northeast as well it's just south of the Wirral just next to Wales and is it

is it Stoke or is Stoke on Trent a different place you know what that's a good question I can't answer because there's things like that

I think Stoke and Stoke on Trent are neighbours I think it's something like that his jokes are all variations of the same theme and delivered

in that kind of accent bad ponds you know voice like that really it's a bit it's not as strong as that no It's not as strong as that.

I can't do, no, it's not as strong as that. Well, you're going to play a bit for them because there is a bit on the B side, isn't there? He frequently performs his own versions

of well-known songs in a similarly listless style and his act has left audiences bemused or hostile with heckling a frequent occurrence during his performances. So,

you could also maybe argue that who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's that guy who's could also maybe argue that, who's that guy, Pape Maché Head? Come on, brain, who, what's his name? I know you do, you really do. What the fuck's that Frank side button?

It's like, there's a bit of that to it. Definitely. There's that kind of... But there was a kind of movement at the time. It's sort of, I'd call it sort of late period alternative. Yes, it is. Do you see what I mean?

It's not like the first wave of alternative. No. It's like a later... And they opened the door for the acceptance of other acts like that to get a bit of... Anti-comedy acts. Yeah. So let's just listen to the first track. Now, we'll listen to it a little bit.

It's called Rocking with Rita, Beach Party Mix. This is the Nightingales with Ted Chipperton. And we've got a fuzz box and we're going to use it. And it sounds like this. I'm trying my best, mate. Okay, here we go now. Rocking with Rita Head to toe Rocking with Vera

Head to toe Rocking with Donna Head to toe Rocking with Rita You sure can't beat her, oh no Oh no Oh no Rocking with Elvis Rocking with Charlie Feathers

Rocking with Jerry Lee You sure can't beat Rocking with Jerry Lee You know Oh no From your head to your toes So yeah, that is obviously a pastiche of that. Of rock and roll.

He references Paul Daniels in that, doesn't he? Yeah. And Jerry Lee Lewis. Yeah. And it does a little piano flourish a la Lewis. I've got some complaints. Go on. The production

is all over the place. The drums are too bright. I'm going to say this which is a point. I think side A has got much better production than side B

and I think that shows but you're right with this track. It's a bit bright on the drums. It's a bit bright on the drums and my main problem is you can't the we've got a fuzzbox

woman she's too low you can't hear what've got a fuzz box woman she's too low you can't hear what she's saying she's not loud enough for when she's she's singing part of it and it's like much lower level my i think my problem not problem but i think what the point i'm trying to make is is i i think that's intentional because when you look at the act so basically like for instance you look at the movement of comedy that was coming out that was the uh the alternative to your date your bernard man Mannings and your Jim Davidsons and all that kind of shit, right? So you have the comic strip come through, 20th Century Coyote, Young Ones comes out,

and that blasts onto TV and everyone's in that sense of the anarchic. We can do what we like. We can do what we want. And this is what this EP sounds like. It's like, oh, this is what the this EP sounds like it's like oh this is just us fucking about this is our sound

but like I said to you earlier Paul I think it because we are a fuzz box they were like a legitimate they eventually became and I say legitimate

but like in the late 80s they changed their sound and sounded much more like Bananarama than they did originally and then they had the hit with Pink Sunshine

and Calling International Rescue which was a song they wrote about Thunderbirds they're the hit with Pink Sunshine and Calling International Rescue which was a song they wrote about Thunderbirds. They're like legit pop songs though. They're more on the side of pop than novelty is what I'm saying. Yes.

Or comedy records. Yes. And so this sort of has it's a comedy record but it also has sort of like real music aspirations almost. Do you see what I mean? Well that's why

it's interesting. It's all in between. Doesn't really know whether it wants to be serious music or novelty. There's a touch of tongue-in-cheek to this. Where it's like, here's a rockabilly sound that we're doing and it's a Liszt song. In the same way, it's almost like an Ian Dury and the Blockheads kind of thing.

Yes. It's got a little bit of that to it. And also the influence of the punk poetry. Definitely. Where Mark Lamar and Phil, Phil Jupiter's definitely there. Yeah. That's all in there. So it feels like this is just like,

we'll do what we want and we're having a laugh and this is our sound and whatever. Fuck you. We don't want it to sound as good as the latest queen album. We don't want it to sound as good as that. A DIY punky sort of ass. And also punk was all about the tiny labels as well. Wasn't it?

The tiny little home labels, which Vindaloo Records obviously is as well. Obviously is. So it's a real artifact of its era, isn't it? Really redolent of its era. I admire it more than I actually like this music. But when we get to the B-side, that's where I think they've just gone, let's have a bit of fucking fun, really. Because you've got three tracks on the second side.

And then you get a bit of his act as well. You get a bit of him, really. Yeah. Because you've got three tracks on the second song. And then you get a bit of his act as well. You get a bit of him gagging. So you get Let's Surf, which is, you know, a kind of Beach Boys-y, spoofy, rockabilly thing. And it's certainly not as memorable as Rockin' with Rita.

Then you've got Oh, I Do Like to Be Beside the Seaside, which is a bit of Ted Chipperton's stand-up, basically, with a seaside. I tell you what, let's play a little bit of that right now. Walking down the road yesterday,

an old mate of mine comes up to me. He said, Long time no see, Ted. I said, I know, mate, Let's play a little bit of that right now. here is away from here mate. I said one mile. He said one mile? I said ah one mile roughly speaking you know. Not too sure on he'd just gone into town I said to him. This bloke come up to me after that he said have they got your time on you mate? I said I'm on my own can't you see? Here's a saucy bit of seaside humour for you then. Went to the chip shop earlier on. Said to the bloke, after I got me chips, I said, have you got any sauce, mate? He said, what, HP? I said, no, you're all right, I'll pay cash.

Chatting to this old sea dog earlier on. Couldn't understand me, though. Excuse me, chap, I'm in a dilemma. Ah, good motors dilemmas. How do I get in here? So, yeah, do you see how that is very similar, but without the violence and the aggression of that Neil Hamburger take on it? Yes.

Where it's like, it's an almost reasonably normally structured gag. But the point is how terrible they are yeah it's undersold to the point where that's the joke it's very undersold and that definitely

I kind of like that though it did influence Stuart Lee's whole style didn't it because he has that he undersells stuff he you know he's got a sort of

apologetic but almost Stuart Lee works on the verbose more you know he's very much I'm going to tell you a small fact with a thousand words. And that's where his

comedy is. It's the unnecessary level of detail and prose. Richard Herring is the opposite almost where he's like big bold colours. I'm just going to say you can see the influence from Chippington on people like Lee and Herring. Very, very easily. And then you've got

Fuzzy Faves which is a, let's do a little bit. And then you've got Fuzzy Faves, which is a let's do a little bit of everything. We've got Fuzzbox doing, you know, itty-bitty TV. Yeah, so that's the aspect where this was like a stable of artists that were on this label, and they all got together to do this. But the whole concept seems like a parody. Yes, but what's

it a parody of specifically? I think it's a parody of the idea of British Summer. Yeah, Seaside. Yeah, the seaside. Yeah, the seaside, the music. And they've done a... The appropriation of American iconography. Yes, but then it has that psychobilly sort of aspect to it as well, which is interesting.

They've got the little pun with the B-side, and they've got the A-side on the back they call the B-side. Yeah, I don't quite get that. And then the B-side on the back they list as the C-side. Yeah, so there's no A-side on the back they call the B-side. Yeah, I don't quite get that. And then the B-side on the back they list as the C-side. Yeah, so there's no A-side. Oh, I just got that. Yeah, the C-side. Oh, that's laboured.

It's terrible, yeah. It's like one of his gags, isn't it? Oh, I guess that's a good point. I feel hoodwinked. The artwork and everything is quite... I mean, they've put some effort into it, haven't they? I mean, it's very 80s as well. It manages to be kind of retro 50s, 60s, seaside British postcard.

And also... Extremely 80s. 80s in that kind of smash it looking magazine way. Like you look at the photographs on the back of them all doing Photoshop. And it's all like, do you want a more pastel purple background to stand against with your gearish... Those photos look extremely sort of... What was that magazine you just mentioned? Looking.

Looking or anything like that, you know? This is 86. What was the pop music one called? Smash Hits. Smash Hits. It's very Smash Hits style photo sheets, aren't they? And it's not the 80s unless you're wearing red, yellow, green and black in one costume at the same time. But they've relented on the actual label on the disc because it has A side and B side.

You think people get confused and say, I bought this and and it only had the b and c where is my a well that's it because you know that is sometimes the convention isn't it if you have a double lp you'll have a b c and d side like that python yeah yeah like that python i wasn't matching time you had two discs you'd have do you see no no but i'm talking about three-sided discs like now you're talking about something else now yeah we've talked about before in the past. And also the Tecmo, which we have to bring up again, did a thing about the racing record, which had eight grooves.

Eight horses, eight grooves. Eight tracks. So depending on where you put the needle down, depends on a different outcome of that track, which is simple and ingenious. Yeah, it's very good. Yeah. So I don't know.

I'm not a huge fan of that type of music and that type of comedy, certainly from that era. But there's no doubt that, in many respects, this is an important part of British culture. This is an important part of that comedy voice. You just don't get stuff like this anymore these days, do you? No. And you would never have, you know, you would never have someone be able to put something like out like of that quality out but there's no there's almost no need to now because of the kind of you know democratization of of media where me and you can make a fucking podcast or people can do a youtube and get an audience people will release that stuff via their own channels and find their own audiences where you had to have a label

to be the voice of you yeah back then yeah so for instance island records was that primarily for spoken word originally? Was it? I think so. No, Island was started by Chris Blackwell in Jamaica. Oh, maybe I'm wrong there. I remember there was a label created just for spoken records, but then it evolved into something else. I thought it was Island Records. Definitely not Island, I wouldn't have thought.

Oh, I thought there was a fact about Island Records. That was all. Oh, they have Justin Bieber on their label now, do I? Yeah, they're huge. They're one of the ones who survived, yeah. Oh, yeah, started in Jamaica and then eventually sold to Polygram in 89, which then got zorbed into Sony.

Oh, right, Polygram. I believe it's Polygram and Sony. I might be wrong on that one. Yeah, Polygram aren't around anymore. Yeah, started by one person. Yes, Ireland. But briefly, we can probably talk about how this, when we were listening to this, yeah started by one person yes Ireland word but briefly we can probably talk about

how this when we were listening to this we went this album this EP is in many respects similar to another album we both like and enjoy

called Neil Hamburger's what was it Firsts of Dismay the Firsts of Dismay yeah which is a collection of his purposely awful horrible

aggressive stand-up and songs and songs really good songs they're not good no well should we play one I want to play There's purposely awful, horrible, aggressive stand-up. And songs. And songs. Really good songs. They're not good. No, well, should we play one? I want to play... Which one?

I want to play... I can't remember because I don't have it with us right now. Oh, about the nostalgia, about things not being the same. Yeah. Or maybe I should put in the one about the bags. You can't find the endless roll. Endless, yeah. Which is a kind of disco-y hit.

Yeah. I don't know. Let's put that one in. I'll put the disco in one. bags here you can't find the endless roll endless which is a kind of disco-y hit yeah okay well i don't know let's put that one in i'll put the disco in one my life is being measured by this endless roll this endless roll my life is being measured by this endless roll this endless roll, this endless roll This roll of terrible bags Two hundred terrible bags These bags infuriate me to know it To know it Endless roll

Endless roll Endless roll Endless roll Endless roll Neil Hamburger is again an interesting guy that deals in similar mix of comedy and music yes

like he takes the music more seriously than his own comedy but I know the comedy is the thing before the stand up sort of really evolved as its own

thing it was sort of song and dance people would do stand up wouldn't they like Bruce Forsythe or whatever it was part of the variety thing you had to be able to sing as an entertainer yeah and stand-up was one aspect of being an entertainer you weren't just just you couldn't just do gags no until later on i guess do you know what i mean well that's what i was going to say

it's like in many respects it feels like you've got artists who in ted chibbington's case and i think in neil hamburger's case they're like the genre of comedy is at the moment primarily stand-up but i'm going to use this identity to be one of a pastiche on the light entertainment entertainers vick reeves is very similar vick reeves of initial character for big night out was i'm a i'm a light entertainer dance guy and then everything was undercut with how he lived in a weird world and nothing worked. Yeah. You know,

so there's a history of the subversive light entertainer. Absolutely. Where you've got, on one hand, you've got like, you know, Bruce Forsythe.

On the other hand, you've got someone at the other end of the scale. Like, I mean, maybe even Barry Humphries could fall into that. You know what I mean?

He was alternative. Yeah. He was. Yeah. But if you think about it, all of those comics, they used to, those light entertainment people,

they used to do songs. Tarbuck used to do songs. Well, that's what... Didn't Monkhouse used to do songs as well? Oh, yeah, they all did. They had to do his songs, didn't they?

They had to have a catalogue of material. And so, it's funny when you look at it because you look at, like, Rick Mayall and the Young Ones and how they attacked that

directly in Filthy Rich and Catflap. flap the idea of because at that point the spotlight was on alternative comedy to be like you're you're breaking the system aren't you smashing it down but actually i think there's a lot of fondness in that show and you look back and later and like all the alternative comics will say oh no we loved monk house and we we got that and we loved more coming wise they didn't really want to pull it down, but at the same time, you're a new comedy voice, you have to fight against something. But it's very similar to punk in that way, that it's characterised

as being iconoclastic and, you know, we hate the Stones, but they all loved the Rolling Stones, those punk people, do you know what I mean? They certainly wanted the lifestyle. Yeah. You know, that's kind of what it comes down to. Yeah, but they didn't, you know, they said, oh, we're tearing everything down and building a new thing and all of those are dinosaurs but in fact they liked a lot of it yeah they loved a lot of it and so that's why

it's it's not easily cut and that's why i like acts like ted chipperton and vick reeves and and tim heidecker and neil hamburger where they go in there's more to us than this but we're going to do it our way and our way just happens to be a deconstruction of everything we love but you're going to think it's an attack on that stuff yes like Tim Heidecker's recent done a stand-up show

which we haven't seen yet which we haven't seen yet but I'm looking forward to it because the reviews have all said it is it takes the tropes of popular stand-up yes

and lampoons them and lampoons them and exaggerates them yeah and I like that because I'm fucking sick and tired of modern stand-up I don't like the form I think it's I'm fucking sick and tired of modern stand-up.

I don't like the form. I think it's stale at the moment. It is very stale. And I would rather see more Ted Chippingtons. The problem is with stand-up because it was a huge boom, wasn't there, earlier this century

in this country. In the 90s, yeah. When Newman Baddiel became a rock and roll comedy actor. It reached its saturation point in the early 2000s, didn't it? Yeah. And it just got so tropey

and you know and it's just audiences it just breaks people because they've got some interesting material or whatever good material but people just want

the dick jokes I mean it's a cliche but they do and they want you know and on that note ladies and gentlemen oh I've got a big fat wobbly cock

and I'm rubbing a big wooden gooch on me knobbage it's the noise. It's the fucking noise. We were smoking for half an hour straight without a single spoff gag. And when you mentioned they just want the dick gags, I was like, the audience want it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Boys and Girls, here is today's knob gag by Eli Silverman. I am Mr. Splodge and I walk down the street. I get my knob out and then I splodge on your car seat. I have got to a head, and I've got one downstairs below. And when I splodge up your mum, you'll know I've said, go slow. Author! Author! Author! Splodge!

What a piece of anti-comedy genius. I thought it was going to be funny, and actually it wasn't. That's it. The segment's over. We're done now. Thank you very much. Do you want to do it? What were you going to say?

Just nothing. Nothing? You've got nothing. I've got nothing. We've already done an episode. I'm flagging. No, don't try it. Don't try it.

Stop wobbling your wooden stick. Well, my wooden granddad's gonna have a bit of fun over the next break so come back and join us for the next segment where I rub wood on me wood up and then

then this fucking fucking bullsh**t you know what I've just I'm reaching and searching and wading through the mud of imagination it's not working we had

the magic on the previous episode we did it's why we don't do two episodes on our own anymore I know it's fucking terrible second episode's always fucking shit.

Press the fucking button. Oh, here comes a trundler. Trindle, trundle, trindle, trundle. Am I meant to get involved in this one? I don't know what you want. No, I'm just... Stop interrupting me. All right. Here comes a little trundler. Am I meant to get involved in this one? I don't know what you want. No, I'm just... Stop interrupting me. Alright, okay.

Here comes a little trundler, Paul. No, stop interrupting me. Every question I ask you in this bit is rhetorical. Is that one? That wasn't a question. It's my one. Is my one what? Rhetorical?

You're not allowed to speak. Is that clear enough? Is this question rhetorical? Yes're not allowed to speak. Is that clear enough? Is this question rhetorical? Yes. Are you sure? Shut up! I'm going to do my Ganon Golden Games bit now. All right, so here comes a little trundler. What's he saying?

What's a trundler? It's a robot. All right, fine. That's all I needed. It's a robot with wheels. For a visual image for me and the listening audience. It's a robot with wheels. Here he comes.

Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. Import needed. 0.5. Why does your robot sound like a broken Twiggy from Book Rogers? Well, he was a robot, wasn't he? What's his name? Twiggy. Twiggy.

Twiggy. No, Twiggy. Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggy. That's what he said, didn't he? Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggy. There we go. Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggy. That's what he said, didn't he? Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggy. There we go. Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggy. You know who voiced it?

Who voiced him? Who? Mel Blanc. Mel Blanc. Mel Blanc. Who did... Blanc. What's up, doc?

Right. And... You're despicable. I can do all those impressions. Trundle, trundle, trundle. Oh, right. He's doing this. Trundle, trundle, trundle.

Input needed. Input needed. 0.5. Beep, bop, bleep, bloop. What is the input? What is the meaningle input needed input needed 0.5 beep bop bleep bloop what is the input what is the meaning of love slash 0.2

go to run repeat run run repeat ganon's golden you know he's never touched a computer in his life ganon's golden

enter ganon's golden games ganon's golden games ganon's golden games ganon's golden games ganon's golden games ganon's golden games oh I hit him with my stick because that ends now. It is Gannon's Golden Games.

It's Paul's Playful Pastimes. It's Gannon's Golden Games. Welcome to Paul's Playful Pastimes where I go through the auction sites, shops and streets of the UK to look for interesting board games. Just let me stop you there for one second. He's got a golden game. He's got a golden game. Here he goes.

There he goes. He's got a golden game. I'll strike you with this fucking stick of justice. Come on. Show your little fucking toy to the... Yeah, you better flinch. Fuck you. Seriously, man. Just go and go and go and go. It's just go and go and go. Yeah. It's just go and go and go. Just go go go go.

It's just go go go. It's just go go go. It's just go go go. It's just go go go. It's just go go go. It's just go go go. He's playing along now. It's just go go go.

This is just nonsense. This is what the person on YouTube complained about. It's just go go go. It's just go go go. This is just nonsense. This is what the person on YouTube complained about. Right. Please stop. No! Right, I've stopped. See? It is effective.

Violence is effective. Just so you know, it is effective. You've got a very special Game of Thrones game today, Paul. Because this is something you desired in your heart of hearts. I have coveted this for a while. So we have done on the show before, The Price is Right. We did that board game from the 70s starring Leslie Crowther edition of the board game. What, did it have a picture of Crowther on it? Yeah, on the front cover.

And it was, I thought, awful as a board game. Poor. Because it doesn't give you any kind of cognitive reason to guess a prize because it's all random based on a spin of a dial and a... You know what I mean?

The prizes are randomly selected and they have no... bear no relation to the real world objects which they represent. No, not at all. So there's almost no point in playing it

because there's just chance. Because the joy of the prize of right is thinking from your real world experience what things cost. Do you see what I mean? What things generally cost.

That's the thrust of the show. Guess the price and hopefully it's right. It's like when you ask politicians these days, they always love asking them how much a pint of milk costs to catch them out. And they go, I believe it's I believe my partner says it's I drink the milk of my mother

still. She desiccates it into a jar, and I get it squirty by my man. He's squirty. I have dick titty. Right, so I got this on eBay. Now, I'm just going to go out ahead and be honest. This wasn't cheap. It wasn't cheap.

It wasn't expensive, you know what I mean? But it wasn't £5 at a charity shop. This cost me $15 on eBay, and unfortunately most of the price went on the packaging to send it, which was another 20 20 i think you should explain to the listeners what it is it is a plastic toy an electronic toy made by erwin toys from canada and it is a the price is right electronic game show system and it's this little plastic thing that looks like almost like a till like a cash register yeah i love it it's got a wheel on the side the big wheel on the

side that you spin oh that's the wheel yeah yeah and then you got plinko on the back which is you know that kind of a and drop the discs unfortunately this it didn't come with the discs that are needed which is why i got this as cheap as i did because the complete set was like 60 70 dollars that's a lot more yeah and uh i don't want it that much. But then I saw this, and I was very lucky enough to win the auction on this for like $15. And you could find some little plastic pucks that would fit in there. I'm aiming to.

I've just had a thought. Perhaps the head of a drawing pin. That'd be too small, I think. But I know what you're thinking. I think that'd be too small. You need a disc shape. It would need to be about the size of a small fingernail. Oh, too small, I think. But I know what you're thinking. I think that'd be too small. You need a disc shape. It would need to be about the size of a small fingernail.

Oh, okay. I think, you know what I mean? Because it has to be big enough to not just randomly fall straight down. If it's too small, it might just... Yes, it needs to fit between. And also, it's quite difficult. Perhaps you could contact the manufacturer

and see what the dimensions of those pucks are and then 3D print them. I've already been in touch with them to say, do you have any spurs lying around? Oh, really around and I'm just waiting to hear back on that now. Because that happened

with, there's another board game I got that had something missing and I just contacted the toy company and they went here's a PDF of the file you need of the instructions.

It was golden balls which we haven't done on the show yet. I'd love to do that. But yeah, golden balls and it didn't come with instructions but it was £2 at a

charity shop complete and it's a huge board game. And they just sent you the PDF, no questions asked. No questions asked. He's like thank you for buying it. He even said I got it second hand so that's why I didn't come with instructions, but it was £2 at a charity shop, complete. And it's a huge ball game. And they just sent you the PDF, no questions asked? No questions asked. He's like, thank you for buying it. And he even said he got it second-hand, so that's why he didn't have it. He didn't mind.

Yeah, because it was discontinued, so no skin off their nose. So this little plastic toy is not that big. It's about the size of a 7-inch thing, single. Yeah, and it's got a little keyboard on it, a little LCD screen where you can type your answers in. But also, little animations happen, because it's just big enough for little animations. It's a nice quality screen. It's not just like a dot matrix, proper dot matrix. I think that still counts as LCD, dot matrix.

Yes, but it's not one of those ones where you just have the words scrolling past. No, it's not. It can do pictures and it can do little things. More lines of dialogue and more images. There'll be pictures, as I say, on the website. So let me just turn this on because this is the best thing. It's got music and sound effects as well. Where's the speaker?

I like that sound. I like the music for the person. I love the music. It's that nice, cheesy kind of thing. So do I want the sound turned off? Press enter for yes. Press cancel for no. Cancel.

So I want the sound effects. It's only quiet. It's not the loudest thing in the world, but it's there. How many players? Two, three, or four? Let's do that in a minute. So how this works is electronic game. It's all built in there, but there are cards that are related to each round in game.

So for instance, this card has four items on. So when I punch the code, you put the card in the slot at the top. No, only for show. It's just there to show. It doesn't read the card.

No. You type in the code and then it knows that those four items on the card are what you're playing within the game. I see.

And how many cards are there? Well, there's only a few because the first round is contestants row, which is the familiar round where here's an item. What's your for each round yeah okay this has 10 games from the tv show that translate to this when you play it you play four rounds and then big wheel and then the showcase showdown so six rounds in all okay but we're going to choose the one that

doesn't have plinko on it basically basically but we can choose those ourselves when you win the contestants row you get to pick the card game you want to play all right not allowed to pick choose the one that doesn't have Plinko on it, basically. Basically. But we can choose those ourselves. When you win the contestant's row, you get to pick the card game you want to play. Alright? Not allowed to pick Plinko. It's just we can't play it. It's a shame, but we can't play that one because we don't have the discs or anything suitable to slip in to replace it. But, you know, there's still another nine games there.

When was this manufactured, Paul? 2008 this. So it's pretty high-tech, really. It's for its time. Were there electronic versions of the price of right before this? Yes.'s pretty high tech, really. It's for its time. Were there electronic versions at the price of right before this? Yes. They were less high tech.

There was a plug-in TV game thing. There was a... Tiger made a load of, obviously, as you can imagine. And the Tiger game doesn't translate because, you know,

it's an LCD Tiger electronics game. This is actually quite a nice build. There's, you know... It's lovely. It's quite a nice thing. It's adorable as well.

It looks cute. It uses this colour scheme, the orange, yellow, the blues. Nicely designed with the plink on the back. I love it. And's quite a nice thing. It's adorable as well. It looks cute. It uses this colour scheme, the orange, yellow, the blues. Nicely designed with the plink on the back. I love it. And the wheel on the side. Yeah. And it gives you a really...

Because me and my girlfriend were playing this last night for ages. It gives you a really good... What's the word I'm looking for? You know, a facsimile of the TV experience. Being a contestant. Yeah. Yeah. All it's lacking really is a bit more props and toys.

But fuck it. It's all on the LCD screen alright so I'm rearing to give it a go I've picked out the contestants row card for this game

and so I'm going to put it there on the top just for now because you need to look at the items so you can have a visual idea of how you think

how much you think they're going to be now how are we going to be we're going to be playing against each other yes you can play up to four people on this we just need two right now program that in I'm going to be? We're going to be playing against each other. Yes. You can play up to four people on this.

We just need two right now. Program that in. I'm going to program it. But basically, once I press two, we're starting. So are you good to go? Are you ready? Because this is a lot of fun. Now, I'll say this before we get going.

When me and my girlfriend played this, we were shocked by how we undervalued a lot of stuff. Here's a clock. 400 quid. 7,000 pounds. So I don't know where they source the prices. Canada. Well, yeah, but I don't know where they source. Yeah, it's in dollars.

But it's an American game. No, because the Canadian dollar is small. It's just made in Canada. It doesn't mean the value is Canadian money. Well, is it or isn't it? No, it's not. It's in dollars. In American dollars.

US dollars. Because I imagine all they're doing is maybe they're going through the show and going, that's how much that was cut price. So they're going to attach that price to this item. Okay. And also, there's been inflation since 2008, hasn't there? Yeah. So it's hard to judge, but once you go, oh, I see what this game's doing, then you start

to maybe do more accurate guessing. So you're telling me, as a hint, go higher than you would think? When possible. Okay. Because obviously there's rounds where it's like, how much is this price of milk? And that's whatever but like a clock 500 quid

I don't know and it's like 700 dollars or 8 it's weird you got it too low a lot of the times

is what you're saying so let's get going okay let's type I'm going to type two plays in let's play the price is right

this little text that comes up da da da da Little text that comes up. Da-da-da-da. Enter contestant's road card number. So I'm going to type in 416. Is this you? This is you go type in 416. Is this you? This is you go first? 416.

But don't we take turns? Yeah, we do. So that's so you know, the dot is enter and the star is cancel. Okay. So if you're typing stuff in, you make a mistake. You just press cancel. So 416, enter. Here is the item that you're bidding for.

You're bidding on item 1. Howard Miller clock. Wall clock. So you can have a look at the picture there. It's that one there, the green clock. What do you think of it? Do you think it looks classy? I think you just described the clock as being exactly the price of it.

No, I didn't because I don't know the price. I don't know the price of it until we guess and it tells us the answer. And sometimes when you guess the answer wrong in this game, it doesn't because I don't know the price. I don't know the price of it until we guess and it tells us the answer. And sometimes when you guess the answer wrong in this game, it doesn't tell you the price at all. So, how much do you think what we're bidding on for item one, Howard Miller clock wall clock? $700. I don't know anything about Howard

Miller though. Am I going first here? Yeah. $700. Right, I'll type in $700. $700, yeah? I'm going to go lower. I'm gonna say that's about 250 right here we go enter Player one your bid is 700 pound my bid was 200 it was 2020 quid That's a fucking wall clock. It's a good one.

Good name. So who won then? You. I was closer. Right. Okay. In that case, you get to pick a card. Hey.

So do you want to play grocery game? High, low. Do you want to play... They're all random, these cards. They're not really set up. Do you want to play magic number? Grocery. Do you want to play...

Hang on. There's a few more. They have clock game. Grocery. They have pick a pair. Grocery. Do you want to, hold on, there's a few more. They have clock game. Grocery. They have pick a pair. Grocery game. Cliffhanger.

Grocery game. You want the grocery game. Alright, okay, cool. So here's how the grocery game works. There are five items, right?

Yeah. And then I think, well, the game will tell you, I'll let you read it out. Okay, can I get to press some buttons now? Yeah.

So I'll let you do this. Two, seven, six, you type it. Remember the dot. And then enter, yeah? Yeah. Okay, two, seven, six, enter some buttons now? Yeah. So I'll let you do this. 276 you type in. Remember, the dot is your enter. And then enter, yeah? Yeah.

Okay. 276. Enter is the dot. Yeah. Hey! You have a cash register, so you have to read it. You are playing for Maida Ofani. Fireplace window screen.

Worth. That's the problem. The backlight goes on and off, which is really annoying. How can I get it to play again? It scrolls, so it should do it again. But basically, your prize is that one in the top corner there. Oooh! So that picture, whatever that is... That's like a screen.

Yeah. Nice. So, now you have to wait for the rules to scroll round, so it should tell you what you need to do in this game. Okay, waiting. Alright. Should we play a different game? No! What's it say? It's going round again now. do in this game. Okay, waiting. Alright. Should we play a different game? No. What's it say?

It's going round again now. I'll fucking video because you're fucking useless. Stop eating. They're having an iron brew

pasta. Right, so, it's going to list five items, right? You've got to make a grocery list with these

items that is between $20 and $21 by purchasing a combination of these items to win. Item one, Clorox bathroom cleaner. Item 1, Clorox Bathroom Cleaner.

Item 2, Jelly Belly Beans. Item 3, Westbrae Natural Salad Beans. Salad Beans? Item 4, Nestle Drumstick. Number 5, Little Debbie Nutty Bars. What? They're there on that card. So you have to now tell me what item you want

and how many of them you want. And you've got to make a shopping list of those items. That goes up to $20 or no more than $21. So, for instance, how much do you think two toilet cleaners will cost? Oh, is that toilet cleaner? Yeah. I think two would be about $8. All right, so what is number two again?

Two is Jelly Bellies. All right, so you want to get some Jelly Bellies, yeah? Yeah, I think they're about $3.50. Five. $5 for the Jelly Bellies. All right, so how many quantities of them do you want to get? One. So I'm going to put...

What number is it for Jelly Belly? Two. Two. So I put number two in, and then I put quantity of one. And that tells you... I'll tell you how much it costs enter those cost you 6.99 right now you can't use jelly belly again you've got those four items left you need to pick up another item or two to make it up to twenty dollars oh okay so that was 6.99

for those jelly I said it was about five didn't not look bad you've got the drumstick still you've got the salad beans you've got the nutty bars. Salad beans? I don't know, maybe it just means liver beans or liver beans or something like that. Liver beans? I don't know.

Shut up. Just come on. Is that what something that like a grandma... This is already long enough. Is that like, you know, a lady will feed her kid's liver on the slide by saying they're beans?

Yes. Wasn't worth it. Come on. So, what's next? Well, I think the spray. So, the spray. What number item is that? One.

One. And what quantities of it? I'd go for two. So, I'm going to put one of a quantity of two. Enter. Now, you've got $12.97 you've spent altogether. Okay. So, that was like another $7 on top of what you bought for.

So you've got another $8. No more than $8 to make. $8 or $9. With the three items you've got left. So what else have you got? I have to use all items? No, you don't have to use all items. But once you've used one, you can't use it again.

I want three cans of the salad beans, please. What number of salad beans? Three. Three with a quantity of what? Three. Three. Mentoring it, salad beans? Three. Three with a quantity of what? Three. Three. Mentoring it you sure?

Now you're at $15. They were a lot cheaper than I thought. Yeah so you've got. Can I stick?

I have to hit the target. You've got to carry on now until you either crap out or you don't make the target with five items.

I'm 15 and I've got another five I think. Go on what else do you want to put in? Two packs of the drumsticks, please. So what number is drumsticks?

Four. Four and two of those? Yeah. All right, let's put it in. Oh, it came to $22.30. Oh, fuck this. So you went over. Here's the next item on the row.

It is a refrigerator. It's a nice big standing refrigerator oh is that you're going to play this now well I think I get to go first this time so I'm playing for a refrigerator

who's ahead oh player one well no one yet because you won that first game but you lost the game overall it will go through to whoever wins the contestants row

okay so it's all going to come down to that really alright so item one refrigerator Eli you your player one. What do you think that big standing refrigerator costs? It's a nice big one.

Silver chrome finish. Refrigerator, pretty lady standing next to it. 2,000. 2,000 on the nose. Yeah. I'm going to say much higher. I'm going to say 6,000 for that. 6,000 goes in.

Enter. All bids are over the retail price, so we've overvalued it. Right, so what do you want to do again? You get to have another guess. So you said 2,000. It was over. Well, mine was over. I don't know if yours was. That's where it's a bit vague. So, what do you think it is?

I could stick with 2 grand, could I? I guess. Do you want to? I'll go for 17.50. Alright, 17.50. Alright right, 1750. All right, 1750. Right, I'm going to say 1,400. All right, enter. All bids are over the retail price. All right, I think...

It's cheap, this fridge, isn't it? I was about to say, because isn't the fucking wall clock 5 grand or fucking whatever? Right, okay, so what do you think? I'm about to say, because isn't the fucking wall clock was five grand or fucking whatever. Right, okay. So what do you think it... Do you want to have another guess? Lower than 1,400. Put it that way. I'd say... Let's say 800. 800. Enter. And then I'm going to put... I'm going to put

450 in. Really? It's not going to be that cheap. Well, we'll find out. Player one, bid 800. Player two, bid 800. Player two, 450. £1,099. Player one wins again, so you get to go for the next round. Come on!

So, what game do you want to play next, Mr. Silverman? What's a fun one? What's Magic Number? Magic Number is you've got two items, and all you've got to do is guess the price that's in between those two items, except it doesn't tell you what the price is. So, if it's a fridge and a TV, you go, well, that's 1,000, that's 2,000. So I'm going to say the answer is 1,300. All right. So you've got high-low.

High-low. High-low. High-low. High-low. Enter. I'll just read this out to you, all right? And then you can play. And then when we swap, if I get a game, you can do the same.

Yeah. Here we go. High-low. If I get a game, you can do the same. Yeah. Here we go. Hi, Lo. You are playing for a Honda motor scooter worth $2,000.

That's nice. Nice scooter, that. Pick the three highest prices from that card to win. Item one is Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies. Item two is V8 vegetable juice. Do you like that? No Ultra downy fabric softener is number three Number four

Pringles potato chips Number five Little Debbie honey buns I've never heard of that Never And number six La Choy soy sauce La Choy

La Choy La Choy soy sauce La Choy La Choy soy sauce I like it So you've got to pick three items from that list that you think are the most expensive items

so chocolate chips soy sauce soy sauce is not expensive Pringles not expensive vegetable juice and I know

conditioner fabric conditioner that's pretty that's more expensive than food of the same weight so when you pick the three tell me the numbers and I'll dial them in

I'll go for number three which is what the numbers and I'll dial them in. I'll go for number three. Which is what? The fabric softener or whatever. Right. Detergent. Yeah. What are the honey buns?

They're just kind of sweets or some kind. I think she's like the Mr. Kipling of America. It's that kind of thing. I think the Pringles are going to be more. All right. I'll also go for number two, the V8 vegetable juice, please. Number two. So three, two, and one more number.

I'm going to go for the Pringles. I think they're a bit more expensive. What number is that? Four. Four. So three, two, four. Yep. Yep.

Okay. Here are the answers then. I'm putting them in. Enter. Item one, the Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies, 55 cents. Cheat. V8 vegetable juice, 2.99. Come on. That's one. Good start. Item three, eight vegetable juice. 2.99. Come on, that's one.

Good start. Item three, fabric softener. 6.99. That's the most expensive. That's good. Pringles, crisps. 79 cents. Oh, no.

Item five, little Debbie honey buns. Oh, no. 1.99. And item number six, La Choy Soy sauce. 1.68. Fuck. So you selected three, two, and four. Sorry.

Better luck next time. Back to contestants row for our fourth, third item. I think Pringles is cheaper in the States. Luggage. You are bidding on item three, American Tourister Luggage Set. There's the picture of them. Have a little think. What do you think the price is of that luggage set?

Fancy luggage. $700. $700, he says. Enters it in. I'm going to go for $300. $300. Enter. You bid $700. I bid $300. The answer is

$640. Well, don't keep getting these. You're doing really well. I'm shit at this. Come on. Why don't you pick another card? What do you want to play? You got Cliffhanger?

Cliffhanger. Come on. You're shit at this. You can't even set it up properly, as we know. Well, you got three items, right? Two-digit dollar value, right? There's the card. All two-digit dollar value.

So let me pick a type 122. So I'm just going to enter 1-2-2. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, it's up a mountain, isn't it? Yes, the mountain game. You're playing for a Brody Hill bedroom set worth $5,000. Oh, hello.

So this is exciting. Mr. Silverman. Yes. Right, you've got three items. You have, you've got three items. You have... You've got... Enter the price of item one, the Libman's Broom Brushes. So, the first item is...

Linton Broom Brushes. Libman Broom Brushes. Enter the price of how much you think that costs. Okay, so it's a set of brushes, yeah? Yeah. It's going to be about $15, I'd say. Now, just like in the cliffhanger we've played of Price of Shite, depending on what you're under or over,

whatever the difference is, is how far you go up the mountain, and it's 25 steps on this. There are 25 steps, are there? Let's find out how this goes. Ready? What did you say it was? $15. $15. Ready?

Now you're going to see animation of it going up the hill. Here we go. Oh, well done. Only four dollars over the price. I was four over. It was eleven, was it? Right, the next one is an MP3 player. So how much do you think the MP3 player is based on that?

Oh, this Dell MP3 player. Yeah. Weird. This is all out of date technology now, isn't it? It's like, yeah, early noughties tech. So how much do you think that is? How was an iPod? It was like a hundred quid, wasn't it? Yeah, like, yeah, early noughties tech. So how much do you think that is? How was an iPod? It was like 100 quid, wasn't it?

Yeah, but it's Dell, so it's not the best. It's not the best, is it? But it's still going to be in that range, I think. It's going to be in that range. It's got to be more than whatever you said for the first one. What did you say, $12? It's always going to be more, is it? I think it works like that, like the way we've played it.

I would have said more than $12 anyway. Yeah. I think it's like $65, have said more than 12 anyway yeah I think it's like 65 75 75 yeah I'm gonna put it in

then do you wanna have a look 75 bucks 75 hit me here we go I'm entering it now he's going

up the mountain oh he's going right up he's going right up oh it's still going he's going

past 22 23 24 25 he's off the cliff fuck this stupid fuck how much was it it doesn't say Oh, it's still going. He's going past 22, 23, 24, 25. He's off the cliff. Fuck this. Fuck. Stupid.

Fuck, how much was it? It doesn't say. It doesn't say specifically so you can reuse the card again. Oh, fucking bollocks. Next item, the last one. Item four. I'm not playing, am I? I've lost already.

No, but this will be the last contestant's row. It's a Barbecue Galore set. That's exciting, isn't it? Looks like a plunger. No, it's this one. You look at the wrong image. That's the card for the last game we just played. You twat. Well, that's an MP's exciting, isn't it? Looks like a plunger. No, it's this one. You look at the wrong image. That's the card for the last game we just played. You twat.

Well, that's an MP3 player, isn't it? Yeah, but we're moving back to contestants row now. So it's me or you. Let's go through to the final round. Oh, this barbecue. How much does the barbecue set cost? How much do you think? No, oh yeah, it is me first this time.

It is you first. Player two, what is your bid? What's your bid? Barbecue set. It's going to be like, I'm going to say $50. I'd say $350. $350 for bid? What's your bid? Barbecue set. It's going to be like, I'm going to say $50. I'd say $350. $350 for that? It's a range.

It's got a gas. You've already put it in. Oh, fuck. I thought it was one of those shitty little ones. Listen, I keep winning these and I can't win the fucking games, can I? All right. Well, here we go then. So what do you say it was?

$350. $350. I said $50. You said 350. The answer is 649 quid. So you were almost spot on. So you've got another game to play. Yes.

What do you want to play? Something good. You pick, Paul, because you haven't had much luck, have you? All right. You pick a game for me to play, please. All right. Oh, I'll tell you what. I'll put this one in because you get to press the buttons in and it's a bit manic, right?

This is clock game. You've got two items. You have to guess the price. It's a two-digit number, I think, so 71, 56, whatever. So that's your enter button. So you dial 1, 2. If it was 12, enter, right? When you press enter, it will tell you if you are higher or lower than the price it costs.

Okay? Yeah. You see what I'm saying? And then what do I do? Well, if you're wrong, it will just say try again. And you've got six, I think it's 45 seconds. To get the price? costs. Okay? Yeah. You see what I'm saying? And then what do I do? Well, if you're wrong, it'll just say try again. And you've got six, I think it's 45 seconds. To get the price?

To get both prices. Well, they'll do them one at a time? Yeah, one at a time. So you've got one. I could get stuck on the first one. It's what happened to me last night, mate. This is, it's goodness, isn't it?

Isn't it a lovely little toy? One, two, five. Ready? Enter. Oh, it's going. So I'll put the card in the top so you can see what the items are. Which?

Your two items. You are playing. You're going to have to read it out for us, yeah? For VTech Telephones. Oh, it's going. So I'll put the card in the top so you can see what the items are. Which? Your two items. You are playing... You're going to have to read it out for us, yeah. ...for VTEC telephones and Coleman camping gear. Nice, good prize there. You have 30 seconds to guess the value. The time starts when you enter the first guess. Okay, so that first item is...

Enter the price of the VTEC telephones. Enter the price of the VTEC telephones. Enter the price of the VTEC. Okay. Okay, so when you style in your first number and press enter, then the countdown begins. Is it two digits? I believe it's two digits, but you'll soon find out, I guess. Okay.

I'm going to say 50 bucks. All right, 50 bucks. Enter is the dot, yeah? Yeah. So what does it say, higher or lower? Higher. Higher. Quick, your time's running out.

75. Enter. Higher. Higher. Higher than 75? 100 bucks. Higher. Oh, your time's running out. 75. Enter. Higher. Higher than 75? 100 bucks. Higher. Oh, okay, so it isn't 200.

Higher. Oh, shit. 300. Higher. Oh, shit. 500. 500. Higher.

Shit. 1,000. It won't let me do 1,000. Okay, so it must be like, try 700 or something. I can't. How do I? Can I press cancel? Cancel, yeah.

Time's up. Fuck. Did it tell you the price? No. Fuck. Right, we're on to the big wheel. Here we go. Yay, big wheel.

Big wheel. Congratulations, player one and two. You're in the big wheel round. But I don't get nothing because I didn't win nothing. It still all goes down to the final showroom. Stupid. Big wheel. I didn't manage to win shit.

Player one, spin the big wheel and showroom. Stupid. Big wheel. I didn't manage to win shit. Player one, spin the big wheel and enter your spin amount. So, you remember how this goes? You've got to get no more than 100 on two rolls.

So if you spin it and you get 50, say, you can either roll it again or go safe. Right. Whereas I might roll it and get 60, which means I win,

but I might roll it again and get 60 again and that means I've gone over. You see what I mean? So, spin the little plastic wheel at the side tell me what the little red arrow says 60 so you type 60 and then press enter yeah he's pressing it in now beep bloop enter but it's it says it in pence because it's meant to be in cents it's not like it's meant to be 50 cents yeah you type 60 cents yeah and then cents. So that's it. Yeah, you take 60 cents. Yeah. And then enter, yeah? Yeah.

What's it say now? Do you want to spin again? Do you want to stick with that or do you want to spin again? I want to spin again. All right. So spin it. Once you've said yes, you want to spin again,

then spin it. Yeah. Here we go. What's it say? Oh, what was it? 100. So yeah, you fucked it. So 100. Fuck this. Enter. You went over the $1. So, yeah, you fucked it. So, 100.

Fuck this. Enter. You went over the $1. So, now it's my go. Oh, I see what that sound effect is. It's the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Right, player two. Spin the wheel.

This is exciting, isn't it? Spin the wheel and enter your spin amount. 20. Fuck. You're going to have to spin again. I'm going to have to spin again. Well, you could just... You've won already.

Do you want... I'm going to. I'm going to. I like the drama. All right. So, I to have to spin again. I'm going to have to spin again. Well, you've won already. Do you want... I'm going to. I'm going to. I like the drama. All right. So I'm going to do that. I'm just going to film this one. We don't want to both lose.

We want someone to win. No, we both go through to the showcase showdown. Oh, we do? If you're playing with three or four people, only two can go through to the showcase. Oh, we both do? Because we're both here. There's no point playing this then.

No, it's because it's fun, you prick. Come on, spin again. I hope you bust. Here we go. So I got hope you bust. Here we go. So I got 20 last time. Here we go. 25. There you go.

So I dialed 25. Congratulations, players one and two. You made it through to the showcase. Right. Right, good. So showcase showdown. That was pointless, that bit, wasn't it? It was a bit pointless.

There's no stakes in that at all when there's only two of us in it. But if there was three of us... I can see how it works. Only two would go through. Top two, yeah. So enter the showcase card number. So I'm going to enter in...

So, just going ahead. I enter in the one number, but it's for both sides. So I'm going to play for the first round, and then you'll play for the second, or whoever ends up being first. So player one, you'll do these four, and I'll do these four items.

You know how the Showcase showdown works, right? No. You get four items. Four items, images on the card, and you've got to go, how much do all those four items, all added together, cost? All added together?

Yeah. If it's a car and a holiday and a thing and a what's it, how much is all of that together? The total price of all four items. So I'm going to dial in 522. 522. Enter. Showcase 522 for player player 1 press any key to continue

I'll let you just do this one player 1 so what is your bid for the following showcase read it out for us please item 1 Seattle trip

from where item 2 pathfinder luggage set nice is that different item 3 Raleigh's Island rope hammock nice item 4 Mercury Sable car Nice. Is that different? Nice.

Mercury Sable Car. So there you go. You've got a car, a holiday, some luggage, and a hammock. So how much does all that cost altogether? Right, I think the luggage is about 600. A car is like 10 grand. Is it more? It's more like 20 grand, isn't it? I don't know.

A car is 20 grand. And this is 2008 prices we isn't it I don't know car is 20 grand and this is 2008 prices we're talking about I think a car is 20 grand so and a trip to Seattle 2000

trip for two to Seattle we'll say two grand for that alright so what are we at we're at 22,500

and a hammock probably 200 because hammocks are shit well it might be a bit more costly because I don't know it's confusing £22,500. And a hammock, probably £200. Hammocks are shit. Well, it might be a bit more costly. I don't know.

It's confusing. It's not going to be more than £200, is it? Basically, what happens is, whichever one of us out of this showcase gets closest to the actual price wins. So I'm saying £22,700. Or then type it in. £2,700. Right. type it in. 2,700. Right.

Player two, there you go. Player two, and I do the four on the back. I do these four now. I want to hear your reasonings as well, Paul. No, that's fine. Here we go. Any key to continue. Player two, what is your bid for the following items?

Item one is a Brazil trip for two. Item two is O.W. Lee Baker's rack I don't know what that is item three little guy sleeping trailer fucking four North Caton store where glass were

look at that little man look at that little man sleeper I've never heard of that it's a little man sleeper what the fuck is that it's like a trailer it's a trailer thing

I don't know what that is none of us are drivers so no so what is it for though is it just it's like a U-Haul it's like a trailer it's a trailer thing i don't know what that is none of us are drivers so no so what is it for though is it just like a u-haul it's like one of those but you sleep in it yeah it's like a little it's like a caravan and then what the other things are fucking rack for your kitchen and some plates it's a back isn't it what does it say it's a it says item one brazil trip item two ow lee baker's rack it's a baker's rack oh i see it's not someone's name i thought it was o w baker's right like her big tits and then glassware that's very very poor oh fuck off we've gone off and out that tit joke so how much does all that cost we've got a trip to brazil

that's at least 900 quid right is it i don't know flights from america to brazil i don't know i'm gonna say at least a grand the rack i have no idea but trip for two it's a trip for two judging by the the rat oh they're a trip for two all right let's say say two and a half grand for that let's just big it up then you got a rack which looks like shit then i really want to have the little man people carrier whatever that is what would you hitch it to? Little guy sleeping trailer. I don't know. Hitch it to Biffo. I've been riding around like a horsey.

In the woods. Yeah. Oh, I like this. And I get out every once in a while and piss in a fern. And then some North Tate glassware. Let's see the glassware. I don't know. So what?

Two and a half grand. And I'm going to say like 800 quid for the rack. No, I'm going to say 1,200 for the rack. Really? Yeah, because these are things... I learned the hard way playing this last night. They're more expensive than you think. You've got to kind of over-egg the pudding somewhat.

So we've got, let's say, a gram to... Over-egg the pudding. Nothing wrong with that phrase. That's a perfectly legitimate phrase. Is it? Perfectly crumbling phrase. I don't think it is, man. Perfectly crumbling.

I think you're mixing a metaphor in a weird way there. Overegg the pudding. There's not much too much egg in the pudding. I'm going to say $12,000. Okay. $12,000. Enter. Here we go.

Your bid is $22,000. That's me. Your showcase is worth $28,000. That's a difference of $5,900. You are out. $12,000, I said. The actual one was $14,000. a difference of 5,900 thingy. You are out. 12, I said. The actual one was 14,000. Difference of 2,845.

Which means player two is the fucking winner. I won the price of right and I did nothing until the end. Chod my spod off. Come on, Chod. The price is gash. Chod me rod off. Well, I won that. That is a very fun little game, Paul.

Compared to how we played the other Price is Right game. The Price is Right game. Oh, much better. It's more involved. There's pictures. There's animations. You can kind of rationally think out the prices. It's fun.

Fun for all the family. And, yeah, you can all sit around and play this. Unfortunately, it will age. Yes and no. I guess it will. It will. With inflation. Once you start to understand the game and its parameters you know the parameters of the particular items in the game so it becomes more fictional but at least still rational so there you go good there's my price is right electronic game and i fucking love this it's one

of my favorite things i might touch it with me no But now you've got some other electronic games, haven't you, Paul? I'm going to be making a video on it, but I've got... Are we going to play any of these on the show? I would like to play the Family Feuds one. Or the Family Fortunes one. Yeah.

We have to have three plays for that because it's interesting. Right, next time we've got a guest, maybe. Yeah, because... After the pandemic ends. What's great about it is it's an LCD screen. Locked down too. Right?

Shut up. You'll like this. LCD screen, right, for two teams to'll like this. LCD screen, right? For two teams to play, but one can be the host and the host gets a remote control screen that has the answers and everything on. So they know.

Oh, I want to be the host. So you know what I mean? So you can press it. So if I say, oh, top 100 people say, what's their favorite Disney film? And you went, I went Snow White. If Snow White's on your list, you go, all right, yeah.

But if it's not, you go, eh, eh. And you can pass and play. It's a lovely lovely toy but i think it has to be a three-player thing but there's also golden balls of gold you got golden balls as an electronic yeah i've got let's make a deal electronic game two player or one yeah no two player we can do that i've got uh let's make a deal you know what's behind the doors game i've got electronic ones of that i've got countdown coming and i've got what's in the box do they say that that got electronic ones of that. I've got Countdown coming. And I've got... What's in the Box? Do they say that?

That's a different thing. That's a different show altogether. That's Seven. No, that wasn't that take. That's that film, What's in the Box, he says. Well, yeah, that's Seven. Yeah, but Bob Monkhouse

never appeared in Seven. What's in the Box? Why don't they have like What's in the Box as a game show and then it is someone's head? Someone's head. Oh, Margaret from Liverpool.

What do you think's in the box number three? I don't know. Is it an egg house? No, love. Egg houses don't exist, and it's your husband's fucking head. It's your fucking husband's head. Oh, I thought he'd been quiet recently.

Over-egg the pudding. That's a fine phrase. I'll fucking look it up now. I've never heard the other half of it. Don't over-egg the pudding. Over-egg the pudding. Ha's a fine phrase. I'll fucking look it up now. I've never heard the other half of it. Don't over-egg the pudding. Over-egg the pudding. Ah ha ha. Cambridge English Dictionary.

Backs me up. Thank you Cambridge English Dictionary. I just know the expression is over-egging something. It means to stretch out or exaggerate. To put too much egg in a pudding. To be stretching it down. To bio-violate. To cat-officize. Drama queen. Dram't want an eggy pudding. To catophysize. Drama queen.

Dramatization. Embellish. Embellishment. Exaggeration. Now you are... You're literally doing it. Gush. Gushing.

Hyperbole. You're over-egging the pudding. Lord Sith with Sith. Mimilize. Overrate. Pad Sith out. Protest. Shut up.

Underrated. Please. Or undersell. You won the game. Thrift, thrift, thrift, thrift, thrift, thrift. You won the game, Paul. I won the price of shite. Andift, thrift, thrift, thrift, thrift. You won the game, Paul. I won the prize of shite. And also, you said a phrase

that was actually real as well. Thank you. It's been a big day for Mr. Gannon. And just like that, it's all over again. It's over. Bye-bye till next time. And now, what do we want to say?

We want to do some housekeeping, Paul. Yes, we're going to do some housekeeping. We have a new P.O. Box, people, for you to send noodles specifically to and anything else but mainly sauces sorry because i'm not listening to you i'm just presuming i wasn't saying all right good you never do you never fucking i'll read out the new PO box. All right, then. Here we go. So, yes, we have a new PO box. Now, if you want to send stuff to Digitizer as well, you can do. Yes, please do.

But, you know, send us what you want. A price of shite of your own. Some board games of vinyl. Something silly, but don't go crazy. We are a cheap show. You don't have to spend thousands of pounds and then send it from New Zealand for another 20,000 pounds. Although, those Australian crisps were very interesting. Yeah, it's very kind.

Crisps of the world. And we have some crisps of the world coming up in future episodes. We20,000. Although those Australian crisps were very interesting. Yeah, it's very kind. Crisps of the world. And we have some crisps of the world coming up in future episodes. We do, actually. We have a lot of good crisps coming up real soon. Ukrainian crisps. Yeah. And Scottish. Yes.

I got excited that wasn't me being angry. Sorry. It sounded like you were being angry. So what's the P.O. Box, sir? The P.O. Box for you to send stuff to Cheap Show. P.O. Box 1309 Harrow H.A.19QJ That is Cheap Show

P.O. Box 1309 Harrow H.A.19QJ Harrow is spelt H.A.R.R.O.W Don't you know? Wonderful stuff And also if you want to email us anything

Your own tales from the shop floor An anecdote Correct us on some of our flaws By all means do It's thecheapshowatgmail.com We're on Facebook We're on Facebook, we're on Tumblr, we're on Instagram. Just look for Cheap Show. You'll probably find us. I'm on Twitter. Also on

YouTube if you look for Cheap Show as well. And also Twitter, at thecheapshowpod, at Paul Gannon Show. Eli is... Eli Snoyd, D-L-I-S-N-O-Y-D. And if you can and would like to support this podcast financially, you can go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show and you get access to extra podcasts,

behind the scenes stuff, magazines, brilliant fucking magazines. You don't get cock. Bellend. Yeah, that's my only fan page. You get your cock. Spooge.

Droplet. You don't get spooge droplet. You don't get nuzzle musfudge. You don't get nothing. Hairy, airy, oly. You just get lots of lovely things. Great. So thank you for those who do support us.

I love a hairy areole. Hairy areole. Oh, look, it's the knob people. They've come back, Paul, from the start of the episode. I'm a knob people. I've got lots of knobs in me. I forgot about them. Who's the wood people?

We are the wood people. We love it in the trees. You've been maligning wood by using the rod. Grandpa's rod. I've been chudding on fucking grandad's wood all night. I'm sick of this, Paul. Just stop the fucking episode. What about the Patreon? This episode ends with grandad's wood on gooch. Have we said about the Patreons? You didn't?

Alright, thanks very much. Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, the chudney spod off was round. The chudney, chudney, chudney chudney spud off was around. Chudney, Chudney, Chudney. Chudney spud off.