CheapShow - Ep 229: The (Not Very) Pooh Picnic

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

As Eeyore once said "“They’re funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you’re having them.” We think this best sums up this week's "epic" crossover episode with Mr Biffo's Digitiser. What begins as a gentle stroll through 100 Aker Wood, ends in poo play talk, retro gaming, arguments and a picnic jammed with weird and wonderful treats. Oh, and some gross stuff too! Join Paul, Eli, Mr Biffo and Sanya as they investigate the corners of Winnie The Pooh's neck of the woods... and try no to have sex with Eli's childhood teddy bear along the way! You can ALSO watch the accompanying Digitiser Video on the Digi YouTube channel - Watch some of the action from this episode and extra material too: Digitiser Literary World: Winnie The Pooh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5QZESQ6MFg NOTE: Recently, some vandals ruined parts of 100 Aker Wood, and that sucks - so if you can - please support and help raise some cash to help repair this area for the children to enjoy:  Help Support Aldenham Country Park Farm https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-support-aldenham-country-park Share & Enjoy. Photos/Videos for this episode can be seen at https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-229-the-not-very-pooh-picnic And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2020 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2020-the-album If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Also, you can NOW see Eli star in "Ashens & The Polybius Heist", download it from here: https://www.watchpolybiusheist.com MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop https://www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Paul is writing a book! Want to help make it happen? https://unbound.com/books/ghosts/ Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Right, where is he? Look, this wasn't meant to be another outside episode. Right, where is he? Look, this wasn't meant to be another outside episode. But I thought I'd capitalise on the fact that it's... I was going to say it's quite a nice day, but it looks like it might piss down any second. So today, some of this podcast, or all this podcast, I don't know how this is going to work out, will be taking place in Hundred Acre Wood. And we're going to be there with Mr'll be taking place in hundred acre wood and we're

going to be there with mr biffo and mrs biffo and uh eli's on his way eventually half an hour late again holding everyone up we've got a big day ahead of us filming and i've brought a few things from the po box for a picnic where is he where is everyone in fact where is he? where is everyone in fact? where is everyone? oh hello here he comes waddling away look at the state of him how do? what?

this, whatever this ends up being so what do I have to say? Hello to who? Who am I saying hello to? The podcast audience. I won't talk. What version of Eli do you want to be? Do you want to be that I'm not ready yet for this podcast,

so I'll give you five minutes? Oh, fuck off! They're on their way. I'm ready, I'm ready. Well, they're on their way. Do you want to use the bathroom before you go? No, I'm okay. You're all right? Yeah. All right, way. Do you want to use the bathroom before you go? No, I'm okay. You're all right?

Yeah. All right, then. How long's the drive? Huh? How long's the drive? I'm not sure how long the drive is. We'll find out when they get here. But it's not that long.

I think it's only about 40 minutes out, maybe. Anyway, I'm going to close up and grab everything. I'll just say goodbye to my partner. Okay. Right, this is it. We're off. Right, I'm off, bun. It's your new recorder. You're on my podcast.

Hello. Take care, sweetheart. I'll see you later. See you later, bun bun. Bye. Paid £5 to say that. Cool. Yeah, might get warmer. This feels warm.

This isn't our house. Do you want to go to that one? Just so it doesn't look like we just... It's alright. It's alright. It's alright. Your house hasn't got a wall. It's got this side of a wall, hasn't it? What are you doing? Why isn't the door shut? Because there's some boxes there for Biffo I want to give him.

Cool, thank you. Is that them? No, is it? No, is it? No, is it? Yeah. No, is yeah no is it no no it's next door neighbor hello we've got stuff for you i'm gone right we're good to go oh it's very exciting what are you podcasting am i what sorry podcast i'm podcasting i'm always podcasting at the minute, are you? What? Are you podcasting? Am I what, sorry? Podcasting. I'm podcasting. I'm always podcasting all the time.

What are you doing? Recording this day. The day when we all went out as a lovely family and had a walk in the park in the wood. Thought it'd be nice. Got me a bag of goodies for the picnic. Got me keys, got me wallet. Alright, we're off. Hey!

Hey! No. You can say anything racist you like. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. I'll see you. Off-brand, brand-off, off-brand, brand-off Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep Cheep Show It's the price of shite Paul Gannon Eli Silverman

Welcome to Cheat Show. And I go and I nuzzle. Right, we have arrived in the 100 Acre Wood, spelt A-K-E-R, not A-C-R-E, as is commonly understood by the Winnie the Pooh fanatics out there. Eli. Yes, hello. We are here today filming with Biffo

and we're making a video in the 100 Acre Wood which is famously known as what, Eli? Winnie the Pooh's place where he walked around with Christopher Robin. Yeah, pretty much. But this is the real genuine place where Milton Berle, what's his name? Milton Berle was a Jewish comic from the 1950s in America. You absolute moron. With a very big plonker, just for the record.

What do you mean a big plonker? Milton Berle was famously well hung. Why are we talking about that? It's A.A. Milne, who was a castrato. But he wasn't. He wasn't. Well, that's the level of fact. Anyway.

You're going over there. Where are we going? A.A. Milne's house. We're going to do some filming. It's exciting. A.A. Milne's house was actually here. No, it's not there. Alcoholics Anonymous Milne.

As he was named. Danny Berman, Milton Burle. Who else? Who played the lion out of The Wizard of Oz? Oh, yeah, what was his name? His name was Merly Burly-ish, wasn't it? Merly Bur or something, wasn't it? Yeah.

So, have you ever been here, though? I have not, no. You've never been to Hundred Acre Wood, which is in where? Where are we, Hertfordshire? Hertfordshire. Hertfordshire, just north of Middlesex. Aldenham in Hertfordshire. What's this then?

Is this a big man-made lake? Yeah, aka reservoir. It's a reservoir. It's the aka reservoir. It's not the... What's he say? 100 aka woods. Oh, look.

Winnie the Pooh's 100 Acre Wood. Now, why do we think it's Acre, misspelt Acre, A-K-E-R? Is it because... Is that an American spelling, like flavour or one of those ones? Why would that be an American spelling? I think it's because Winnie the Pooh has dyslexia or something like that. It's because Winnie the Pooh is childlike. So Disney, in their film adaptation, wanted to make him childlike

and also wanted... Is it spelled A-K-E-R in the book? We're going to have to look it up. We should get a video of that. Yeah, we should get a video of that. Yeah, we should get a video. So anyway, we're just going to get ready and start setting up. We've got a big day planned. I don't want to be too intrusive.

So let's get going. Come on, team. Go. All right. Okay, great. Okay, hold on. I'll stop. You could have gone to a wee in my place.

You could be Winnie the Pooh. I don't want to wear that mask. I don't. That's not Winnie the Pooh. He looks more like Winnie the Pooh. Look, Eli's got pig lips. All right, he's got pig lips. All right.

You may have won me over. Piglet's here. I just feel badly cast. Right, I'll get out of the way. The filming's beginning. Everyone's picking on me, saying that I tell everyone this is Winnie the Pooh's place, and it's not. I just said it was the place that inspired Milne to write Pooh. Never said anything about it being a real place, because Winnie the Pooh isn't a real thing.

Now they're looking at a pipe. A lot of bloody pipe stuff. Slurry pipe. Have you all quite finished filming a pipe? It's not a very interesting pipe. I thought we were here for Winnie the Pooh. He hates all films, especially if other people like them. I was looking for Winnie the Pooh, not a pipe of poo. Now we're talking. That's disgusting. Look, there's some proper scum. Scum. Scum. Scum. You couldn't do poop sticks in there.

Who's the scumiest character in the poo universe? Tigger. He's a dirty bastard. Is he? Yeah. Nah, gotta be Eeyore. Tigger's a naive. Eeyore's the bastard.

He's not dirty, though. He's miserable. What do you mean, dirty? How is Tigger dirty? He asked the question. I didn't ask the question. It's not Tigger. Pig's miserable. What do you mean dirty? How is Tigger dirty? He asked the question. I didn't ask the question. He's not Tigger. Piglet.

He's scum. Are you saying Piglet's a dirty pig because he rolls in his own shit? Is that what you're saying? Do you want to say it louder so the kids can hear by? Why are there kids? They're gone now. At some point, someone has to say pigs are actually quite clean. Yeah, pigs are actually quite clean, actually.

They're actually quite clean, actually. Eeyore's probably got all poo in his... In his matting. Round his arse. Round his anus. Piglet had OCD. Was he a clean freak? Piglet? He was high anxiety.

I was confused with Piglet and Tigger. Now, Tigger's full of beans. No, Piglet's... He's high anxiety. He's anxious and Tigger. Tigger's full of beans. No, Piglet's high anxiety. He's anxious. Yeah. And Tigger's full of beans. Who was Piglet's mum? Was Piglet's mum another pig or was it a rabbit or something?

There was a rabbit in there. Maybe it was a rabbit that was a clean freak. There was Roo. Yes, I think the rabbit is a clean freak. Tigger's the mum, Roo's the baby. What about Owl? Owl. They weren't very imaginative names was like the

kind of manager kind of like the manager the manager of 100 acre woods i'll tell you what they're all sort of analogous with mental health conditions aren't they you've got obesity in poo because he's a glutton he's and tigger. ADHD and tigger. Piglet is anxious and has OCD. He does have OCD. Eeyores are depressive. I mean, there's no doubt about it. Eeyores are depressive.

True, true, true. True, true. Do you know how Winnie the Pooh got his name? Do you know that story? No, we don't. It was named after a black bear that was at London Zoo called Winnie. But the Pooh part was by A.A. Milne and his son, Christopher Robin Milne, went on holiday and met a swan, which they named Poo.

And then when Christopher Robin got a teddy, that's it. That's it. He called his teddy bear Winnie the Poo after the bear and the swan. So it means Winnie the Swan. Or Swan the Poo. Well, why is the swan a poo? Is it because it did a poo on them? I think it was flying overhead.

I think back then it's like, you go, oh, poo-poo. If you say so. It was just a thing people said. It didn't mean poo. I don't think so. I think it would be like, oh, we're in the Blitz.

Oh, poo-poo. It's like the Germans are coming over. Yeah, that's what I remember. Blitz. Oh, poo-poo, as soon as the Germans are coming over. Yeah, that's what I remember. As in, like, poo-pooed it. That's what I remember. It was more like a mouth noise. I think so. Oh, poo.

Yeah, yeah, sort of like, and poo-poo it. If you poo-pooed it, it just meant you went, poo-poo. Yeah, I think it was more that. So Winnie's the bear, poo's the swan. No, what? Well, yes, but there isn't a swan character in Winnie the Pooh no I know yes so it's yeah you're right Swan the Pooh no no Winnie the Pooh well no because he called Winnie the Swan Winnie was called Pooh yeah and the bear was called Winnie so that means it's Winnie the

Swan yes we've I've said that twice catching up slowly because I've been distracted oh look I've said that twice. I'm catching up slowly because I've been distracted. Oh look, I've got the story here. I'll tell you something right now. There isn't going to be any Pooh sticks in that. We can still try. I don't know. There is another bridge. Oh, is this the official Pooh bridge?

Yeah. Oh, they're playing it here. Oh. Now one day, Pooh and Piglet and Rabbit and Roo were all playing pool sticks together. They had dropped their sticks in when Rabbit said go and then they had hurried to the other side of the bridge and now they were all leaning over the edge, waiting to see whose stick would come out first.

But it was a long time coming because the river was very... What's going on? Oh, he's brought his bear. This is my childhood bear. Hang on, wait, I'm starting again, hang on, that was just a photo. This is Honey who is my childhood bear and used to be called Poo but then I thought I might get confused with Winnie. So Honey, Honey's here, he's gonna play poo sticks with me. Look at this we've come a long way Honey and here we are on a ersatz poo themed

runoff i am going to give that nuzzle what do you mean you know all that stuff you never did to uh um to point dexter i'm going to do that to your bear no point dexter isn't sentient good that's how i like him Good. That's how I like them. Hang on, Poindexter's not sentient. That's what I mean. Poindexter isn't sentient. Honey is. Well then, bliss, sweet bliss. Right, we found Winnie the Pooh's house after seeing Eeyore's and I saw the ghost of Eeyore, it's a fact. Look, Pooh is no longer depressed. Last time we came here he was in bed. Is Pooh in there?

Pooh's in there. Is this Pooh's house? Say hello to Pooh. You should have a little meet up. Do you have a meet up? Let's have a go. Oh there he is. Turn around. Honey's here.

We're looking at Winnie the Pooh's house on Hundred Acre Wood and there's a little hut and inside there's Winnie the Pooh's house on 100 acre wood and there's a little hut and inside there's Winnie the Pooh staring out of a window turn around Pooh I'm going round turn around

come on honey this is it that suits you that's the weird thing you just got startled by a bear. Oh, wait, hang on. He's wearing a green jacket top, not a red.

His winkle. He's definitely got his trousers off. Yeah? Is it turning your honey on? No, honey is an asexual child's toy, Paul. How disgusting. You're disgusting. But you're making Winnie the Pooh sexual.

Winnie the Pooh's an adult! He wants to show me his dickhole. Is Winnie the Pooh an adult? Yeah, he's a big boy. He knows how to take it. I think we should try some honey. Yes, let's try some honey. We're going to try some honey now.

Bye, Winnie. Bye, Winnie the Pooh. I hope you're all right in your little house. It looks cold. It's a bit empty. Bye, Winnie. Bye, Winnie the Pooh. I hope you're alright in your little house. It looks cold. It's a bit empty. Oh, he's got a tea set over there. There's a fireplace painted badly there. He's pissed in a jug. Yeah, he's pissed in a jug. He's got a piss jug.

Oh, he's got a vodka jug. Has he? He's got a picture of a bee. He's got a bee picture. Yeah, and he's got some booze. Some booze? Winnie the Pisshead. Winnie the Booze. Alright, let's do this right we've just been to Winnie the Pooh's house and he's looking at us and we had some horrible honey and horrible pancakes which I hated eating so I didn't but we're here right now we've seen E now, we've seen Eeyore, we've seen Pooh's house, it's very exciting stuff.

I don't know why they've got Pooh's house first. He should be the piece de resistance. You want to build up to Pooh's house? He should be the Pooh de resistance. Pooh de resistance. I thought you found a bin. No, I didn't say I found a bin. Why did you ask for the bag?

Because Eli left half a dozen half-eaten pancakes, and so I cleaned it all up. And I cleaned it all up. I'm not having little kiddie wings come by. I'm not having little kiddie wings come by and see your detritus. It's because you're a filth. Did you like his little house? No, it's his fireplace in there.

Yeah. We've left a little bit of honey on the silver for him as an offering. The kid will be back trying to get that off later. We've left a little dollop of the on the silver rim as an offering. The kid will be back trying to lick that off later. We've left a little dollop of the honey there for poo as an offering. He can look at that, he can never touch it though. He's in constant pain looking at that honey going, ah, ah, salivating. Is that poo's back door? Because I've always wanted to bang in poo's back door.

Is that where poo comes out on? Yeah. I'm banging on Pooh's back door. There's a million more houses to see. Yeah, there's more places to see. I think porridge was more expensive, wasn't it? I'm not sure. Oh, he's got a post box.

Do you want to see what's in there? Yeah, what's in there? You need to get a shot of this. Yeah, we're looking in Pooh's box. Pooh's letter box. Who's house? Ready of this yeah we're looking in whose box ready you need to come this side you want to get what's in yeah you're looking for I don't know what it is. It's feathers. Oh yeah, I know. What is that? It looks like a bird's nest. Someone put their hand in it. Go on then, I'll put your hand right in it. This is like that bit in Flash Gordon. Hand right in, go on.

No, no. Oi! And it was giving me flashbacks to when I was in France and I put my hand in a bush and it stung me. I think that might be a bird's nest. Oh, look at that crow. Yeah, I think it is. Is that a big crow? That a crow?

The crow could smell the honey. What would a crow need with honey? You are such a knob. You know that sometimes. What would a crow need with honey? It would need to eat it in its belly because it converts to energy in a crow's belly like many other animals. I don't think a crow needs honey. It doesn't need it.

We don't need honey. We don't need it. All right, you fancy some. He is. Look, he's sniffing around. He's having a bit of those pancakes and stuff. Yeah, the pancakes is fine. I get the pancakes.

It's honey. Anything eats honey. Like seagulls. They're like rats. Seagulls eat anything. So do crows. Why do you think crows are that honey. Like seagulls. Seagulls eat anything. So do crows. Why do you think crows are that much different than seagulls? What do you think crows are?

Crows have a sense of fucking self-respect, mate. No, they don't. They fucking do. Oh, piglets' house. Hey, it's piglets. It's a bit small. What's this house? Owl?

Owl's house. Owl's house is better than piglets'. I mean, piglets is just a door against a tree. Here's a mystery about a tree. Owl says it's his tree and Kanga says it's her tree. It's not much of a mystery, is it? It's not really. It's more a dispute.

Yeah, it's more of a legal matter. Oh, Eli's climbing. Oh, Owl's up in the tree, look. Oh, Eli. Don't fall, Eli. Oh, look at him. He loves to climb, Eli, doesn't he? He is. He's like a little spider monkey.

I'm up here, Paul, on top of Al's house. Is Al inside? No, there appears to be a plank. There's a window this side. No. Oh, no, it's fake. Oh, it's not. Fake window.

I can see up here. I can see from the hole in the top. Do you want me to do a little report? Yeah, look in the hole. There's a white board. There's a white board. There's a white board. There's a white board.

There's a white board. There's a white board. There's a white board. There's a white board. There's a white board. There not a fake window. I can see from the hole in the top. Do you want me to do a little report? Yeah, look in the hole. There's a white board, a log, some leaves, and a piece of paper. That's it. And a dead postman. There's owls behind you.

Have you seen? Have you seen owls behind you? No. Who's up there? He's right behind you. There's more honey here as well look. Weird. Oh I see they've made, I tell you what I don't feel too bad about leaving honey around because apparently they do it too. Lovely golden honey.

Now what we should do right now is once and for all decide whose house this is. Legal matter. Was it? Yes, it says it's a mystery, but we argue that it's more of a dispute come legal matter regarding the deeds and who owns the deeds to this property. Yes, but Al lives here.

Well. What would Kanga do with a house and a tree? It would jump up in it. Kanga would jump. It would jump into the tree. No, unless Al... No, don't go... No.

Unless the house was built for Kanga originally, but Al would jump into the tree. No, unless... No, don't go... No, unless the house was built for Kanga originally, but how Owl moved it to the tree is a kind of moment of anger and spite. How would an owl move a house? How would an animal build a house? It's fantasy! Have you ever heard of beavers? Have you ever heard of beavers? Yes or no? I've heard of beavers, mate. Yeah, right. Hot damn, I've heard of beavers? Yes or no? I've heard of beavers, mate Yeah, right Hot damn I've heard of beavers Oh dear

Well, you don't know that houses have been built By the animals Because Winnie the Pooh's house was built by Mr Sanders So what, they're all squatters? Well, no Okay, am I a squatter because I'm a house owner? Yes I didn't build that house

Isn't that right, brother? Are you trying to... Paul's having a bad day I'm having a lovely day sorry I'm having a lovely day he's having a bad day like tying the end of one thought

onto the next one books covered in honey I'll fucking have that bear and I'll kick that bear to death and I'll strip that bear of all it's fur and I shall bury it's skin

in the woods eh give me it alright my bear now it's my bear it's not your bear you can have it for a minute of all its fur and actually bury its skin in the woods. Eh? Give me it. My bear now. It's my bear. It's my bear now.

No, I'm just wondering what that little place is over there. It's someone's house. It's someone's house who lives underground. Yeah, who lives underground? Who would live underground? Beaver. Is beaver a cow... What's that smell? You smell it. Eggs. Sulfur. I just got a littleaver. Is beaver a cat? What's that smell? Do you smell it? Eggs? Sulfur. I've just got a little whiff of cowpat. Nothing else. Yeah, maybe. No cows in here. No. There's the reservoir. Probably got the sulphur off the reservoir. Oh, the runoff. Yeah. Oh, maybe. Scum. Scum. So we've got a house over there. Is this it though, the path goes round and loops that's it

I told you it's not much so we've seen poo we've seen eel, we've seen piglets we've seen owls, we're looking for tigger, we saw the heffalump trap but I don't know well we saw a sign for it, yeah I didn't see the actual trap itself, did the heffalumps appear in sheep show last week trap but I don't know well we saw a sign for it yeah I didn't see the actual trap itself did the heffalumps

appear in Cheap Show last week no I don't think so I think you just said a bunch of heffalumps in the sky poof poof poof with diamonds

no I I don't know I think that's a moment you had on drugs I'm not sure what's this here more honey honey hoe

it's a honey motif well yes there's a reason for hoe it's a honey motif well yeah well yes there's a reason for that it's winnie the pooh theme yeah he likes honey we had elephants elephants yeah flying elephants no what are you talking about diaphanous elephants no just going puff puff puff that's how they fucking move around. They're like big blimps. Sandy Pit where Roo plays. All right, well, there we go. We're at Sandy Pit where Roo plays. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. What do you think? Where Roo shits, more like. Nothing. I ain't playing in there. No. I know what ends up in sand pits. Everything.

Oh, you look quite sexy like that. He's walking in the sand now. I haven't read much of the book, have I? Out loud? Or to yourself? At all. What happens at the end? They're stuck forever,

walking around forever and ever, aren't they? What? What? No, Chris Robben just pisses off at the end and grows up no it's sequels though it's sequels

are there yeah there's the house at Poot Corner was the second one okay there's the final one where they're just

like walking around in a hundred acre wood forever encased in a moment in time of platonic love between a bear and his boy

what I've never heard that I've never heard that maybe I imagined that have you seen the film a moment in time of platonic love between a bear and his boy. What? I've never heard that. I've never heard that. Maybe I imagined that. Have you seen the film Christopher Robin with Ewan McGregor? No.

It's a bit like that. Did Ewan McGregor play Christopher Robin? Yeah, grown up. I don't want to see it. Now I'm out. Fuck that. You're sad.

I liked it. My mum liked it. High praise. Yeah. Mr Biffra and my mum liked it. Five trains. Yeah. Mr Biffa and my mum liked it, so therefore five stars. What do you think of Ewan McGregor? He's all right. I don't really have a problem with him.

I used to have a crush on him for a bit. Did you? Yeah. I saw him once at a party and he was wearing all leather. He had a leather jacket on with nothing underneath. Leather trousers. He was out for the sex time, wasn't he? He was going for sex night.

Yeah, sex. I bet he was. Here's the film I want to see. Ewan McGregor in Sex Night. He was probably using Obi-Wan as a chat-up line, wasn't he? I bet he came on his bike. You know he's got one of those bikes. We loved his show, though, didn't we?

With Charlie Hun, then? Yeah. Yeah. He's doing Obi-Wan the TV series now, isn't he? Yeah, I know that. You don't. I just told you a new fact. He's jealous that I know more Star Wars than him.

I should have said it in the beginning. I know more about Ghostbusters. How about that? Yeah, you do. I know more about CFAX than you. How about that? Yeah, I know more about Cheap Show than you. Yeah.

Stick that in your pocket. Most people do know more about it than I do. Oh. You can't blame McGregor for taking the gig of doing the prequels,

can you? No. No, no. But, I mean, they weren't very good, were they? Not to say the least, yeah.

I mean, I read an interview with him the other day where he was talking about how he didn't enjoy it because he said as the films went on, there was less and less set. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there was more and more green screen. And he got bored.

Yeah, I bet he did. And his lines were terrible. He could do anything with that. It was like... Right, here we are. Here we are. Oh. Oh, what?

Discovered Pooh poo the North Pole. Oh can I get a photo of all three of you at the North Pole? Yeah we should be on the pole. We should do that. The way you balance and everything. The adventure playground, that's what it's called. Oh is there an adventure playground? Yeah. Can we go on that? I don't know if we'll be allowed. Whose house is this? Whose house? Haven't we seen Rue? This is Tigger.

This is Rabbit. This is Bilbo's house, isn't it? I think it'll be Tigger's house. But you might be right, it might be Kanga's. We should reenact Lord of the Rings here. Yeah. Fellowship of the Ring. Fellowship.

Yeah, we should do that. Or Teletubbies, because it's also very similar to that we could do any of those tra la la he was a bit controlling alcoholic yeah he had issues with women he had an oedipus complex. Yeah. Bossy. You found Rabbit intimidating?

Bossy. Rabbit was bossy, wasn't he? He was a bit bossy, to be fair, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What an idiot. What an idiot he was. Now, it is time for the Digitiser Playhouse Theatre to recreate a scene from Lord of the Rings.

You'll be Gandalf. Yes. You're Frodo. And I'm Peter Jackson. Okay, that's... Okay. That's fat. It's not.

I was just trying to get into the character. I was just getting into the character. You're fat as twat. Body shaming Peter Jackson, who's not even overweight anymore. Right, well, then I'll do the new one. Well, now you're shaming him for being too, now you're shaming him for being too thin. You're shaming Jackson's nice.

Just because you're thin doesn't mean you've not got a complex. I shouldn't have made The Hobbit. I wasn't in the mood, and I was poorly, and I shouldn't have made The Hobbit. Was he poorly? He was poorly. He was tired. He was tired?

That's not an illness. It is. That's not an illness. Yeah, g'day. That's Australian as well. It's not an illness. Yeah, g'day. I was going to make that. That's Australian as well. It's all the same, isn't it? It's all the same.

What's the difference between New Zealand and an Australian accent? Socket. Socket. Socket. A New Zealand would say socket. Socket. And an Australian would go socket. Socket.

Socket. If only we had someone around who was an expert on the language. Yeah, she's not even talking. No. Socket. Socket. Take that rocket and put it who was an expert on the language. Yeah, she's not even talking. No. Sockets. Sockets? Take that rocket and put it in my sockets. That's South African.

I'll fucking take that in my sockets. What does that mean? You take that rocket and put it in... I was going to be... Oi! Don't sit on Rabbit's house. Now look. Let's get physical.

What? You're going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe? I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe. I'm going to have sex with Rabbit's house. Now look.

Let's get physical. What? You're going to have sex with Rabbit's stovepipe? Oh, God. Eli, every place we've been to, you've fucked. Every single place. Oh. It's actually all right if you get it in the right spot. I was looking forward to being Frodo.

Ooh, the ring! What does he do? Which one's Frodo? No! Jesus Christ! He's gonna come to you with the ring and you'll go, Break that! Get down!

Get down. I don't know what Dan now says apart from, None shall pass. You say none shall pass and you say, Oh no, me boyfriend's dead. And then we'll move on. Okay. Alright. And in action! None shall pass. You say none shall pass and you say oh no my boyfriend's dead and then we'll move on. Alright. And in action. None shall pass. Oh no socket my boyfriend's dead. What's that shit Scouse? I don't know. Scouse Frodo. Oh they want your ring. Sorry. And I tell you what, just for adding... It's not like this, isn't it?

Right, hang on. And I'll be Andy Serkis with all the equipment on his face. With all the equipment on his face. This is the worst parody of Lord of the Rings I've been involved with. How many have you been involved in? Several. Have you? How many?

How many have you been associated... Have you actually been you? How many? How many have you been associated? Have you actually been involved in any Lord of the Rings parodies? Or anything? No. No. None? Everyone's been involved in at least one. However, when they were making the film,

they did one of those terrible open casting for Hobbits where they weren't really going to cast anyone, but they just did it to sort of promote the film. Did you go along? No. Everyone went, Eli, Eli, they're looking for Hobbits. It's perfect for you. You look like a Hobbit. Go and be a Hobbit, Eli, Eli. A bit awkward that, wasn't it? I think we touched a nerve.

Do you want us all to salute? Salute a magpie? If you you lot want bad luck, I've just saluted it. You saluted him and said that was your wife. I think everyone should salute the magpie. Come on! No, because I feel now it's getting mocking. No, we really mean it's a good idea. We should... Come on, salute the magpie.

Right, we're saluting. Now, what does he do about it? How does he have an effect on the cosmos who that bird if you don't it will bring bad luck it's a superstition it doesn't make any logical sense well then why did you do it

because it's a reflex reflex there's a lonely child teaching in the field every little thing the raven does. My superstition is to such a degree that if there were two magpies and one there and one there, I'd try to see them both simultaneously by unfocusing my eyes. So you get good luck?

Yeah. Oh, look, there's another one in a tree. You have to unfocus your eyes. So I can see them both simultaneously. Wow. I didn't know you could do that. I try and do that. That's insane.

I've never seen this before. La, la, la, la. Someone who's like, yeah, I'm so rational. I'm an atheist. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hello, Mr. Magpie. And it's like, I've got to unfocus my eyes. It is what it is.

It is what it is. It is what it is. This looks like a skeleton of some big creature. This must be a... It's a barrel that's held down by ropes. It's strapped down. Do you think Winnie the Pooh tried to tie down some ancient evil in the underdekar wood? It's a heffalump trap. Oh, this is the heffalump trap.

Well, that's the sign earlier. This is like a martial arts belt. Someone's been karate chopping a heffalump trap. Well that's the sign earlier. This is like a martial arts belt. Someone's been karate chopping a heffalump. Yeah. Or the heffalump is a blue belt. Or this could be the heffalump's bloody eye sticking out and there's a trunk. Could be. Look, heffalump's head. Mummified. Kick it in the eye. Don't kick the heffalump. That's the third video we've done where you've kicked a tree in anger. He doesn't like tree. I hate tree. You put cheese in and then what?

It climbs in for the trees. Well, there's honey in that one. No, that's cheese. I'm filming the heffalump trap. Wait, you were filming me? No, I was panning up at the time. Do you want some? Give it here. It's not funny.

I don't know what's going on. I was filming a heffalump trap and now all of a sudden I feel frightened. Kept saying Morris, man. Morning, Morris. Morning, Harris. Hey. Hey, I might be the last. There's a beehive in the tree over there. Yeah, there's a beehive. There's a big beehive in the tree.

It's going to be the last appearance of Tony Harris. We're going to look at the tree now. It's over here. There's a great big bloody bee hive. Look at it. Big bloody bee hive. It's a bee tree. No sign of Tigger so far. Does he live with poo? There was something funny about those. Co-habited. That's it. There's no Tigger. Why doesn't Tigger have a house? There's no way to Tigger live.

It seemed to have come upon a conspiracy here in 100 Acre Boats. There's no sign of Tigger. I bet they couldn't get the permission from Disney to get Tigger's house. They didn't sign off on Tigger because they were probably making a whole suite of Tigger movies straight to DVD at that time. You can have

Rabbit's house. You can have Pooh's house. You can have the North Pole and the Heffalump Trap. But we've got to get the rights to Tigger. We've got to make big Tigger bucks. We've got Tigger rides, Tigger theme park tricks, Tigger tricks, Tigger treats, Tigger food, Tigger restaurants, Tigger cars.

Oh, here we go. We've got an answer. He lives with Kanga and Roo. Kanga and Roo, two different things. Kanga and Roo. Kanga's the mom. Oh, yeah. It's all coming back to me now. In the house in the part of Hunteracre Woods near the Sandy Pit. Turn around, poober to Pooh Bear.

Pooh Ice. Yeah, that's a good point. Well, didn't Al's house apparently belong to Kanga? Yeah, which was nowhere near the Sandy Pit either. No. It's further along. I'm beginning to think this is all made up. And we saw no sign of Tigger.

No, there's not even been a reference to him. It's been omitted from history. Has Tigger been cancelled? Tigger's been cancelled. It's because Tigger wants to put a tweet out five years ago saying something anti-Semitic. He's a nice doggy, isn't he? Would you say he's a nice doggy? He looks like a nice doggy.

He looks alright, doesn't he? He looks friendly enough. Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey? Buzz, buzz, buzz. I wonder why he does. It's the poem on the tree. Yeah, it seems to date from a different era than the sign above it, doesn't it? Perhaps that was what they first did

when they first had the... I don't remember these story bits last time we came here. Yeah, maybe they're much newer. They are newer, I think. Shall we go and look at the adventure playground? Yay! What's that sign over there say? Just out of interest, I just want to have a look at it.

Lines written by a bear, a very little brain. A Monday when the sun is hot, I wonder to myself a lot. Now, is it true or is it not? That what is which and which is what It's a little poem by a bear By a bear of our very little brain Oh I see, there you go We ate some honey

We did some pole dancing We're like the X-Files of Winnie the Pooh Down to the North Pole AA-Files Winnie the Pooh debunked. Eh? How about that? There's Winnie's Pooh.

Ah. Get a close-up of that, Sanya. There you go. Winnie's the Pooh. We found Winnie the Pooh. Winnie's the Pooh. Oh, that's a good... Look at that.

That's a good stock. See, it's not been a complete waste. There's been loads of good stuff. There's been loads of good stuff. Oh dear. Where's Eli gone off? He's gone off on a little walk to the path. Oh, we found another sluice gate. Eli, climb down it. Eli's going to look down a dark tunnel oh it goes right under the road yeah come put your hand in one of the holes the mystery poo holes nothing happened nothing happened there's a little current, a little streamlet. Oh, he's going in the tunnel. Eli, don't go in the tunnel. He went up and around.

He's taking his bear down a dock tunnel. What's he doing? After the bear. It's sort of me emerging. We're filming it, don't you worry, mate. We're gonna film him emerging from the sluice hole Does it smell?

No Wow, that was really hard work but I'm glad I did that I've been all the way along there and I've seen lots of things It was very exciting Please fall in I'm not falling in you twat Please fall in You'd love that, I'm not going to fucking fall in. I'm not falling in, you twat.

Please fall in. You'd love that. I'm not going to fucking fall in. I'm worried for my answers. Falling in even for fun would be no fun. No. Oi, there he is. Boss.

Tunnel boy. Where does that go? You could go out the other side couldn't you but there's no way on the other end to get out i can't find my frozen poos. Frozen poo? That was her thing. Why frozen? Well it's easier to handle. Less mess. With poo? No, in her BBC cupboard. What? Doing a poo in her cup? No! What? She would have a poo and Andy Crane would prune it. What? Then Andy Crane would go, oh, yeah, Lord!

At least freeze it. She'd sneak in and fiddle Ed the Duck up with scat and then leave. Oh. Allegedly. Lisa Stansfield's frozen poo. She'll have to process that. She's a lovely lady and she never had anything to do with that. It's all malicious lies, unlike Chuck Berry who definitely did. And Hitler.

What, he liked poo play as well? Apparently, yeah. That was famous. How do you not know that? I never knew he had the poo play thing. The thing we were always told at school was that him and Eva Braun had a glass coffee tub and she used to poo on it while he was underneath it. Oh, actually, I've heard that. Yeah.

I think it's probably true. Yeah, I've heard that about Robert De Niro as well. Doesn't Robert De Niro like that kind of thing? Anyone who people want to take down a page. I can't believe it was so popular. Well, popular with all the Hitler and... Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro.

Lisa Stansfield. That lady in the broom cupboard. They're all in the glass shitter's club. Did Ed the Duck ever have a record out? He had a video game, I know that, but that's about it. Yeah, he did. I guess it's hard to sing a song when you just squeak. Did Ed the Duck ever have a video game?

Who? Yeah, there was a lot. Trapdoor, was there one for Trapdoor? Yeah, there was two. Great game. It was a good game. The graphics were amazing the only problem is it's one of those games like maniac mansion where if you don't know how to complete it it's very hard to complete it in one go

one of those is it like manic minor or whatever where you just go for one no it was like you know you have to move the objects around so They're like puzzles. Yeah, puzzles. But the time loop was so tight that you had to know what to do in what order, how quickly and how to keep things spinning. It was not a game you could work out intuitively, is that what you're saying? Yeah. It was also really slow. It had these huge characters.

The graphics looked great, but they moved really slowly. I think I recall it, actually. It was one of my favourite games on the Amstrad CPC 464 back in the day. Oh, God. What the Amstrad CPC 464 back in the day. Oh, God. What? Amstrad boy. It was green screen, so it wasn't too flash. Yeah, the green screen monitor for Amstrad. Did it play colour games, just not in colour?

Yeah. I mean, we never knew if they were in colour, because it was always green screen anyway. I know, but you would get the same cartridge. Yeah. I remember I had a movie box set where I had Big Trouble

Little China Ghostbusters 2 and something else in the Batman maybe Batman or computer games Batman was in so

many of those compilation boxes all the time has there ever been a good Batman computer game yeah there's

been a few there's been probably more good Batman movie Batman video games than there have

been superhero games in general even on the Spectrum there were a couple of really good ones there was a really good isometric one good Batman movie, Batman video games, and there have been superhero games in general. There was, I mean, even on the Spectrum there were a couple of really good ones. There was a really good

isometric one. What about Winnie the Pooh? There's loads of Winnie the Pooh computer games as well, aren't there? Probably. I reviewed a very good one back when I was a journalist

as Paragon. What, Winnie the Pooh game? Yeah, for the N64. It was something like Tigger's Big Adventure Game or something. You said it was very good. I actually did.

It was a very good game. It was beautiful. What did you have to do? Well, it's's a platformer so you had to walk around 800 acre wood and collect in the void. 800 acre wood? Yeah because it's a cool game. We could have been out here eight times longer. Paul Gannon, the enemy of accuracy. Eli Silman, the enemy of cleanly arseholes. Oh fucking hell. Surely he should be the enema of cleanly arseholes oh fucking hell surely he should be the enema of cleanly arseholes my

my arse ring is shining no spots on my arse arse and talc arse I don't need talc you should get

into talc once you talc you never bulk at other you mean bulk it's weird that there's single magpies around here because all over the year I've been seeing lots of them. Yeah but there's mating season when you're not in C2. I see.

I've seen whole trees full of the fuckers. Yeah we get them in our garden. The cat, I hate our cat. I like a magpie me. Yeah? Yeah look they're nice. They're pretty aren't they? Well they are. They're quite intelligent aren't they? And they're nice. They're pretty, aren't they? Well, they are pretty. They're quite intelligent, aren't they? And they're smart, yeah. They are bastards, though. Why? What have they ever done to you? They've never done anything to you.

They attacked our cat. No, the cat haunted them. You could come here for a dystopian picnic, couldn't you? You could. Pretend it's the end of the world or something. Come to 100 Acre Wood for your apocalyptic picnic. 100 Acre Wood, Paul. What did I just say?

200 now. He's working his way down to the correct... Did I say 200? If I was shooting, it'd be 50 Acre Wood. Acre Wood. Yeah, Acre Wood. Just Acre Wood. Acre Bilk.

Remember him? Yeah. There's a reference for you. What was it, a clarinet he played? I think he was a trumper... Trumpanist. Trumpapist? He's a trumpapist.

Clarinet, I thought. I thought it was clarinet. Oh, yeah, clarinet, yeah. My dad had an Aker Bilk album. Why would he... Aker Bilk is the literal sort of silt of charity shop record bins. It sort of forms this hard layer of Acker built records. Acker silt.

Yeah. Oh, dear me. But what a lovely walk in the woods. Yeah. Do you think you can get a video out of it? Have we got an ending? Have we filmed an ending? Not really.

Well, aren't we going over to the exercise area? All right. Yeah. Oh, yeah yeah let's see if the adventure yeah I think they're are we going to have

a cheap pizza picnic yeah if you've got like 20 minutes do you want to record just eating some snacks do you want to go to the exercise area first

well we can just sit on one of the benches around here and I can set all this up yeah I mean I'll get a video out of that one way or another oh yeah no

there was loads of great stuff no I think that was fine there was plenty of footage it's just a case with these things just going around film as much as you can and then piece it together yeah create the story then yeah like a reality tv show yes yeah i might get something from that little shop yeah i might see if they have a coffee or something well i have a sit down and we'll get the snacks out eat and chomp and then that's it i'm done with what I need to do for this. Then we should sum up then.

Yeah, have a little sum up. We'll start up at the picnic table. Yeah. Job done. Oh, someone's smoking doobie drugs. Are they? I think that's what I thought, but now I think it's like a leaf. No, that's doobie drugs.

That's doobie. No, it's because of the bonfire. Oh, now you've faddled my brain with that thought. Have you got asthmosmia? Let's have doobie drugs anyway. Yes. Yes, doobie drugs. Right, Elo, we're having our picnic now. What?

We're having our picnic in the 100 Acre Woods. That was over there. We're now in a different area. We're basically in a car park now. We're having our Winnie the 100 Acre Woods. That was over there. We're now in a different area. We're basically in a car park now. We're having our Winnie the Pooh's car park. We're having a lovely picnic. Winnie the Pooh's car park of dreams. Now, I've been sent a load of stuff in the PO box.

Oh, I've lost me notes. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, here we go. So, we've had a ton of things sent to us in the PO box, and there's so much to get through that I've just decided to throw it into this picnic. So we're going to start with Peter, and Peter sent in some lovely snacks. Now, I don't know if Sam, you can have any of these. Probably not.

But the option is open for you if you want to be. You didn't know you were going to be in Cheap Show, did you? You're in Cheap Show right now. No, I didn't. Oh, hi, everyone. That's how we get people in our podcast. We trick or trap them. We're going to start with a classic.

He sent in a packet of Transformer snack. Saucy barbecue. No, no. Now, these... Yeah, you can have these, Sonia. Can you? Milk is the only thing it's got in bold. Well, that's...

Yeah, for allergens, see ingredients in bold. Well, there's no bold. There is bold milk. Oh, I didn't see that. Transformer snacks are great because they're based on the idea that you can turn your snacks into a robot or a car by putting puffed pieces together. That really transformed that. Do you think they came out as a response to Space Raiders? Yeah.

And Transformers. Yeah. They were just jumping on all the bandwagons. But I'm sure they used to have a cartoon ship on the back. No, Space Raiders did. Yeah. Haven't you watched the video? Yeah, come on.

That was very good. You haven't. You actually haven't. No, I did see did. Yeah. Haven't you watched the video? Yeah, come on. That was very good. You haven't. You actually haven't. No, I did see the facting bomb, but I thought you were going to use Ovo, the fact bird, for that stuff. You've got too many fact-based creatures. Did I have an Ovo, the fact bird? Yeah, when we did the copper.

When we did copper. Copper? The video about copper, and I had... About copper? We did a video about copper? A metal copper. What are you talking about? The children... What, for roofing and stuff? What are you talking about? Why would they do a video about copper and I had... About copper? We did a video about copper? The metal copper? What are you talking about? The children...

What, for roofing and stuff? What are you talking about? Why would they do a video about copper? What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Paul? Copper, do you remember? Was that, you know, yeah. When we did our series on bronze, copper and silver.

What, did you do an iron run? Iron welding for... Oh, copper! What do you mean? The YouTube child thing. The YouTube child thing. The YouTube child thing? What? I don't understand. Huff that.

That is very vomit-y. I'm getting the sauce now but at first at first huff, do you know what I mean? I think it's evaporated a bit in the I've got the fresh half of vomit there. It's very tentative as a half of it.

I'm doing it subtly. I want to get the subtle half. A whiff, if you will. Instead of a half. It's like a little bit... Chutney-esque, isn't it? Yeah, it's very chutney. But like sour chutney.

Sour chutney. It's a bit vinegary, isn't it? I'm going to try one. You wore the one. Anyone wants to try one can try one. 39p. All right, go on. On the table top.

Not that much flavour, considering. Oh, so are they meant to be shaped like transformers? I'm saying you've grabbed about five. Look, everyone else had one. You've grabbed about a quarter. You put the wheel on there. On there. Yeah, so you can make a car.

Or a robot. Oh, like that. I think they're very good oh my god that's amazing or you could just say that's a man i thought that's what i thought i thought it was a man football or something i've made them look i'm gonna make a mexican oh look at him a mexican i'm just i'm just wondering i'm just got a man with a head they're really nice yeah they're not as strong as I was expecting. How many corners are they? Oh.

They're very nice. How many crisp packet corners? Yeah, crisp packet corners. Nice flavour. And you know what? I like the texture as well. It's got some crunch to it. It's like an ever so slightly softer Monster Munch.

It's got a rough crunchiness that I enjoy. Good. I've mulched in my teeth. Right, well, that's that gump. One down, next gump. They're meant to be that. No. Golden Wonder Tangy Tongs.

I've had these before. I just have to be open with you about this, Paul. Totally tasty tongue-tingling tomato-flavoured snacks. They are not baked. No, they are baked and not fried. To give you more punch per crunch. You can have these as well. Milk.

Crazy. Well, all of it. Best day of my life. The least I can eat. What do you eat? You eat gluten or? Gluten. What does that smell like?

Uh, salad cream. Yeah. What's the flavour? Look at these naughty boys coming. Oh, they're naughty boys. I've been told to pick up the trush. Trush. Trush.

The trush. Where does my mouth work, ever? Pick up the thrush. Do you want to try it? Trush. Trush. The trush. Where does my mouth work, ever? Pick up the thrush. Do you want to try it? It smells of salad cream. They look like cheese footballs. Those are nice. They smell tomatoey.

Straight up. Those are good. I've never had them. I've seen them and thought I wouldn't like them. Aren't they tasty? I like them. They're tangy. I find ketchup hits a miss.

Really? Yeah, but those are good. Did you ever have the Heinz ketchup branded walkers? Yes. I like those. They're alright, but those, I like the chinkiness of them. They're really nice. They taste like tomato soup in a ball. They do. Spherical soup. Yes. Spherical crunchy soup. This is all bad names. That's a troll band name, spherical soup. Picking up the frosh by spherical soup.

Right and the last one which I don't think you can have are called Porky Puffs. This is bullshit. Oh, Snaffling Pig, you know them. You shouldn't have selected these because these are just pork fries. I didn't select them, they were PO box offerings. Alright, who? From Peter. Thank you Peter. Peter Thank You Peter Thank You Peter from the snaffling pig Co light and crunchy a good good brand are they yeah

you're vegan aren't you yeah but I'm one. Oh, that's the stench of the abattoir. I have cracked a couple of times this year. I do like that. It's very fecal sort of wee-wee, isn't it? That's a stable. Oh, I can smell them. I won't eat them. Have a gentle...

They look... They look like bones or something. They don't look appetising. Bone quavers. That's what they are. Big bones. Skin quaver. Oh, I do like them.

Yeah, go on. You can't go wrong with that. You love them, don't you? I do love them. He's cracked. The salt and the smell isn't... Well, the look and the smell isn't great, but... They're lovely.

The problem with these is you eat them, they're really mouth addictive. So you put loads in and then it turns into this sort of silt. Second time that's come up today. Silt. And then the silt doesn't you don't can't swallow it properly do you know what i mean it sort of hangs around yeah yeah that's so annoying years ago i had a packet of pork rinds in america uh i mean we're talking like 30 years ago but it came with a little packet of hot sauce then they were just a snack like you know like like in America you get those massive ones. You pour it in, it was really good.

Anything that comes with hot sauce is ok in my book. It was like salt and shake but with hot sauce. Well Staffling Pig Porky Puffs, lovely. They do all sorts of products, I think they do salt and vinegar, see that's why I'm disappointed because this is just an ordinary product but I think they do special flavours. They do Coleman's mustard. Yes that's it, that's the one. The salt and vinegar ones were the best, but I think they do sort of special flavours. They do Coleman's mustard. Yes, that's it.

That's the one. The salt and vinegar ones were the best. I had quite a few when I was full. So they're pushing, in every area of confectionery and snacking, companies these days are pushing the boundary of what flavours are acceptable and what flavours they can make. Think about 30 years ago, Paul. Think about the dearth of conceivable flavours. You only had two for anything.

Cheese. And salt and vinegar. Salt and vinegar. Plain. Plain. Plain maybe. But now we live in a cornucopia of lemon, lime, hopscotch. Yeah.

Chilli flavoured things. Gherkin flavoured things. Masala. Masala flavoured things. Have you had those magic masala crisps? No. Oh, right. OK, we'll have to get some of that for you.

What's the brand? Lays. It's the most popular flavour in India. Oh. They stink. When you open the bag, it's pure shit. Very fickle. But they are good.

Sounds very on topic for us. Do you know what, Indians like crisps with chilli and lemon. Have you ever had chilli? I love those crisps. Yeah, they're delicious. That sounds good. Absolutely delicious. Salted egg.

That's the big one in Asia. Oh, yeah. Salted egg flavoured crisps. The best salted egg were from Spain. No, that was Friday. They're amazing. They were the best. So that's not what the salted

egg lays taste like? No, they're not great, but they're really... That's the most popular flavour in Asia and then Magic Machata is in India. Sounds very tasty. Yes.

I want them now. Do you have them? No. I don't want them then. Right, this is from Andreas in Sweden has sent some,

what, have you got some stuff from Andrea too? Andreas, is that Andreas from Sweden who always writes into our podcast?

No, that's Matthias. Matthias. Matthias. Oh, it's not. They all sound the same to me. Why? Is he angry about Merillion? No.

No, quite not. But we have a Matthias from Sweden on our podcast. We've got the guests from the Merillion podcast on our podcast today. Oh, you haven't even properly introduced us, have you? Come on, did you do what, Paul? You're being very shady and shoddy. Why do I need to introduce them? I introduced you at the start of the Digi episode we were doing.

We're doing a bit, Paul. Wake up. I spat on you, sorry. I know, I felt it. COVID. You know what? Social distancing for you. I wonder why they say keep two metres away.

It wasn't spit. It was a bit of this pork puff. Can I just say COVID's the least scary thing I want to catch off him. Well, what are you saying? What are you saying? Right. Andrea sent some chocolate in. We're going to start with my favourite, plop.

Yay. It's a classic. Popcorn flavoured plop. Yeah, we've got two popcorn snacks. We've got marabou. Well, I know marabou, but I've never heard popcorn Marabou. We were talking about... This is popcorn Marabou and popcorn plop.

We were talking about Ewan McGregor earlier. You had a crush on Ewan McGregor. I did. He was in Irvin Welsh's Trainspotting. Irvin Welsh also wrote Marabou Stalk Nightmares. Connections. No. Right, that was a connection line.

Right, let's open the plot up. I don't know if... Smell the plot. Let's open the plot up. Come on, stop getting your nails into it. Your finger's all over it. Shut up. That's horrible.

Oh, it's a caramel thing. Do you want me to check for you, Sanya? Oh, yeah. It should be all right. Well, it's popcorn. This is chocolate. Yeah, but you never know. You don't want any animal product or any... No animal product. We haven't got a clue well it's just chocolate yeah but you never know you don't want any animal product or any we haven't got a clue because it's all in sweden it's all in swedish

i think you're all right med smack have you yeah you were alleged to med smack it doesn't look like it should be fine it's just choco it's like a caramel i think it's like a chocolate caramel but that's meant to be popcorn flavoured. Popcorn flavoured caramel. Yeah. That's amazing. I'm not getting a lot of popcorn. No, none.

No, it's mostly caramel. It just tastes like a galaxy or something, doesn't it? With a cream centre. It's a made-to-be popcorn flavour. I can't believe it. Is that what it says? Popcorn? Yeah, it's got pictures of popcorn on there.

Plopcorn? Cloetta. Like plop. Cloacca? Yeah, it's got pictures of popcorn on there. Plopcorn? Cloetta. Like plop? Cloaca? Oh god. Cloaca's plop! There's a place called Cloaca Plop.

Alright, a deep reference. Well let's try the Marabu popcorn. Oh, did you get any popcorn off that at all? No. Maybe you went to eat it with popcorn. Yeah. Serving suggestion. Yeah, serving suggestion.

Popcorn. Who sent these chocolates in? This is all Andreas sent these ones in. Thank you, Andreas. This is very nice. This is popcorn marabou. Now, this looks like it has bits of popcorn in. Yeah.

Yeah. Eva's edition. What have salt? Oh, I love bits of popcorn in. Yeah. Yeah. Eva's edition. What has salt? Oh, I love these kind of chocolates. Chocolate. Oh, actually, this is really good. Yeah? It's got salty.

Oh, it tastes of popcorn. Mmm. It's salty popcorn. Oh, these are nice. This is good. Oh, yeah. That's really good. We've got to go to Sweden.

Oh, that's nice. What's that? The Marabou. Do you want to offer this? Do you want it? No, no, no. Have it. No, no. I've got seven boxes full of stuff like this. What, really? Please take it. Kids will love it. Yeah, they will. That's very nice. That's the best so far. Let's have a round of applause for that one. Well done, Andreas. And finally. He's actually got bits of popcorn in. What is that plot playing at? Sorted popcorn. That's what I'm amazed at, which is very unusual to get in a snack.

And it's got the crunch still, which you still want. That's very nice. What a great snack. We're going to end with, I don't know if this is going to be nice or not, but it's called a super salt hockey pulver. I don't know what they are, the little black discs. Puck. It's licorice, isn't it?

I'll have a puck. Is it licorice? Yeah, it might be licorice. Is it a salt lick? It's a salty licorice isn't it? Is it licorice? Yeah it might be licorice. Is it salt-lit? It's a salty licorice, that's what they have in... Oh no! Sherbet? What is it? What's this?

Socker Ammonium Chloride Candle Pulver It's some kind of salty... Is it like sherbet? This is a peculiar product. I've never seen this. Yeah it's... What they are is a little hockey puck. It's like sherbet. It's like licorice sherbet. That is bizarre. That's really odd. Salty sherbet. That is really really strange. It looks like sand. Yeah it is it's like sand. yeah it is

it's like Sam but it is it's that salty licorice flavour that you get in that on the mainland on the mainland

yes Captain Sailor that is just pointless I mean what's it for I quite like it you can have it you can have it

I might eat all of it it's sweet I'm not getting much salt from it on a table you're not getting much salt from it. On a table? You're not getting the salty licorice-ness. Credit card. Rolled up tenner.

Oh, I do not like that. I'm just tonguing it. I've never seen powdered licorice before. I don't like that. Licorice salt? I don't like that. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Did you lick it hard? I wish I was filming that. Put your whole tongue in. All right, I'll put my whole tongue in. Here we go. Don't get a lot on your tongue. Come on, Paul. Nearly bad.

What's it done? Paul, describe it. It's just like a super intense punch of licorice to you. I don't like the taste of licorice. Do it. Go on, tongue. Full tongue. Flat tongue on.

I'll do the full tongue. There we go. Oh, it's super intense. Yeah, I see what you mean. Yeah. Not good. No. No.

Oh. Well, thank you, Andreas, and thank you, Peter, for sending those lovely PO box snacks in. Oh, that is terrible. Thank you Andreas and thank you Peter for sending those lovely PO Box snacks in That's terrible If you want to send something to the PO Box

information at the end of this episode Until then we're just going to relax and enjoy the rest of our time in a 100 200 300

400 acre wood Can't get it out of my head Oh God I shouldn't get it out of my head. Oh God, I shouldn't have done that.