CheapShow - Ep 238: Eggs!

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

Finally. You asked for it, Eli begged for it and Paul eventually decided to let it happen. This week, we tackle... EGGS! A few months ago, Eli heard that no matter what the cost of the eggs you buy, there is literally no difference in taste. Apparently, a food expert said that, but the Cheap Chaps decide to test that claim for themselves in a vigorous and exciting "Off Brand Brand Off" egg special. This is what we have become! The thrills don't stop there either! In a curious twist on the usual Price of Shite formula, Paul & Eli go head-to-head once again in a high stakes edition of the popular CheapShow game of games. Who will win? Well, it's a very close one. It's thrills all round, how will you actually cope? See pictures and/or videos for this episode here: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-238-eggs And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2021 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2021-the-album MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop https://www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Are you ready to turn the gold on? Shut up, I know you've started, so shut up. I haven't. You fucking will. I haven't. I'm a good boy, and if I say I'm not recording something, then I'm not recording something. Who thinks he's not recording now?

He's put his hand up. I've put my hand up because I'm not recording now. What are you doing? Oh, he's drinking his lovely tea, iced tea. Glug, glug, glug, he makes a glug sound in his Ocean Village fucking hat. What is that? What kind of hat's that? It's a visor. It's not a hat at all. It's a visor.

I advise you not to wear it because you look like a dickhead. That was pretty good. Thank you very much. Just off the cuff. Yeah. I'm going to be positive this week, I've decided. Get close to the mic when you talk. I don't understand why you have this problem still. Fuck. Fucking hell. It's like Nazi Germany.

It's not. In any way, shape or form. You've really disarmed me again. I was going to do a professional opening. Now, I'd like to see your professional opening. Come round here later to Bob. Is this the bit? That's not the bit you keep

egging me on egging me on paul foreshadowing hang a lantern on that egg fucking hanging off this you prick yeah he's touching himself it's abuse in any other work situation but anyway it's not would be is what i said. Right, well, anyway. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. I'm Eli! Welcome to Cheap Show. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's just a fact of Cheap Show You're gonna have to learn to fucking accept Cheap Show

Cheap Show It's the price of shite Cheat Show. It's the Price of Shite. Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheat Show. And I go and I nuzzle. It's a lovely day in the house of pie and mash.

Pie and mash. There's no pie in the... No, it's not. Ham and eggs, isn't it? You call it the house of ham and eggs, but it's not. If we're talking about the picture, it depicts sausage, mash and eggs, which is a weird dish.

No one eats that, do they? I've never had a pile of mash with bacon and eggs slapped all over it. No, I've never had that. There's no bacon. If you look at the picture... Why do I keep thinking there's bacon in that? You keep thinking there's loads of phantom breakfast foods.

Don't you? Yeah, I do. Anyway, hello. Welcome to Tube Show, the economy comedy podcast where Eli and I go through the bargain bins and charity shops and pound lands of Great Britain and beyond. Great Britain and further abroad. And further afield. And try and find the things that are delightful amongst the detritus.

Delightful amongst the detritus. Is that all right? Is that a new one? Working all the new stuff in. That is a new one. Like my new catchphrase. Honky bonk bonk. You've ruined it now.

Honky bonk bonk. All the good feeling you've been building up with the... If I don't get a t-shirt. I advised you, Joe, which was fucking genius. Then we went down to... What was the one you just did? Honky bonk bonk. No, the one before that.

Which one? I totally forgot man the cannabis ravages the brain after a while and the age what do you mean and the age?

come on we're getting older mate I'm getting too old for this shit do you know when he said that Danny Glover said that in that film

he was 40 yeah I know shockingly terrifying yeah that's a downer the problem is that all four those films they keep saying

they're too old for this shit and they carry on doing that shit by the four films it's like you are fucking too old you're really too old for that

you are fucking too old for this stop it you are join us next week on movie review on cheap show where we'll be talking

about the ongoing Highlander series of films the first one I saw was two no we're not doing that was two was two Highlander 2 no it was Highlander 2 of films. The first one I saw was... No, we're not doing that. Was two. Was two Highlander 2.

No, it was... Highlander 2. Lethal Weapon 2. You saw Lethal Weapon 2. And I saw it in the Pyramid Cinema in Milton Keynes. It was a big event. And we all went,

oh, look at Patsy Kensett's tits. Basically. What's happened to Patsy Kensett? You don't hear about her these days, do you? She's probably happily raising a family somewhere. Fair enough. I don't know. But yes, she wasn't very She's probably happily raising a family somewhere. Fair enough. I don't know. But yes, she wasn't very good in Lethal Weapon 2, though.

No. Because she had to do a South African accent. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but she was, you know. It was fine. The whole film was fine. Was it Pesci, Joe Pesci? No.

No. Did he come in in the second one or the third one? I think it was the second one. I thought it was the third one. They fuck you in the drive-thru. They fuck you in the drive-thru. They fuck you in the drive-thru. That's me Joe Pesci impression. That's your Joe Pesci.

They fuck me in the drive-thru. Can we see your Robert De Niro, please, as well, Mr. Gannon? They fuck you in the drive-thru. And good, yeah. And Sylvester Stallone, you've got here. They fuck you in the drive-thru.

Oh, that's... Ooh, it's like he's in the room with me. Yeah, well, I'd still very much like this job at Blockbuster Video, please. You can fuck off. And that's our satirical sketch of the episode. Hello, hello, Cheap Show. Right, now, what's the business now?

What's the business time now? What's the business time now? No, it's come to Cheap Show, week time, day time, business time. How are you enjoying your sodie pop? I am enjoying my Turkeyek A-Tech Kuratoki I-C-M-A-N.

No, that's not the brand. No, it's Espan Uludag. Oh, that is the brand. Weird, I thought it was Uludag. That's the brand, Uludag. Uludag's Gazuzu. It's the exorcist drink. Right, so coming off...

What have we got coming up on the show today, Paul? Right, what we've got coming up on the show today, Paul? What we've got coming up on the show today is we haven't done it in a while, and it's only fair we do it now. We're doing a long-awaited special, Off Brand Brand Off. Off Brand Brand Off.

And all of this is predicated on a theory Eli was imparted. I don't know how he got that information. I'll drill him later on that. I can relate the egg theory to you. I know, but let's save it for the segment. It's a very easy theory to sum up. Save it for the segment. I could sum it up in a couple of words.

I know, but... Two words. Would you like to hear the very distinct, condensed theory? Two words? Theory de la egg? Yes. Two words. Yeah. Eggs same. Eggs same. Eggs same. That's the theory. Eggs same. I don't That's the theory Eggs same I don't know why I'm looking

You know what Talking to the mic I don't know I'm trying to peer out From under my visor I know that's why I think you're wearing the visor It's a fucking ridiculous move

I can't see you I know I can't see anything You look like an awful Bash street kid I know I felt like one Oh that's freeing

Isn't it That's very freeing It's very inhibiting Now you know like When those horses Wear those blinkers I had my blinkers on I'm sorry Paul You had your podcast blinkers on i was i was gonna i wonder how effective it is oh i can't see eli what a great day this is

yeah just do a paul daniel impression not a lot it's i'm sweating now and the podcast has gone wrong in what way? It just, I don't know. It was feeling all right about a minute and a half ago. I think we haven't actually described what we're doing. We're doing an egg-based off-brand brand-off.

Egg-based off-brand brand-off. Off-brand brand-off. So we're going to be doing that where we'll be testing eggs. What a great moment in Cheap Show history it will be. And what else do we have

coming up on the show? We also have a price of shite, which I wanted to get this one done soon because I know I'd lose the bits if I didn't. Don't lose the show? We also have a price of shite, which I wanted to get this one done soon because I know I'd lose the bits if I didn't. Don't lose the bits because we did have a bit of a problem with that, with my amazing results on the last price of shite.

It was very good, wasn't it? My outstanding. And are we going to incorporate, well, is it going to be a rules within this pack in bespoke price of shite? It's slightly interesting in that it's been presented as a kind of pass the parcel type affair.

Pass the price of Scheitel. Pass the parcel. I said it. That's it. That's all we needed. I'm trying to think of something better. No, it's pass the price of Scheitel. Pass the Scheit.

Pass the Scheit. See what I mean about all the feeling going out. All the energy's gone. It's just me and you in a slightly clammy room with a plate of fucking eggs. That's the depressing bit. And a big jar of Saxon fine salt. Well, I just thought I'm going to need the salt anyway. I'm foreshadowing too much.

This will be in the section right after the sound effect, which will be egg-tastic. I'll tell you what I will mention now, because otherwise I'll forget it in my head. So Spotify have a new app now called Green Room. And we thought, because our episodes go out on Friday, on the Sunday following that release, in the afternoon, we'll come on Green Room and host a kind of chat room party where you can come and join us

and ask questions about the podcast if you want. And if it doesn't go very well, you'll never hear of this segment again. And we can kick you out if you swear. Yeah, if you say naughty bobbins or something like that. I don't know what people say these days. I'm too nice yes i'm the nicest boy in the world you're the nicest man is uh gary nice oh and gary is the name on the lips of me today not well not gary's on the lips of me it's like gary's the name gary spunky in your mouth all over your lips they call him shiny gary no they don't call him this polish No, they don't call him... Gary the Polish Man.

No, they don't call him that. Do they call him that? Gary the Mouth Pump Polish Man. No. I'll come round here, pump your mouth, and gash all over it. No, stop.

Like Gary the Gash Man. No, they... Do you like my drippy icings? Do you like the crust on it, sir? Break my drippy icings, and I'll come gushing round because I'm Gary the Polish Man. Gary.

No, his name is Madcap Splash Man. It's Madcap Splash Man, yeah. Yeah. Madcap Splash Man. He rungs in and goes... And he splashes all over your face. No. Wearing a clown's costume.

Actually, what a horrible idea that is. Just burst into it. It'd be hard to do because you'd always have to keep yourself at the verge. In your clown costume, in the corridor. Yeah, it's going to be hard to cut and run. You're just going to have to... Just keep yourself right on the vinegar strokes for hours. Happy birthday, Nan.

I'm so glad you found a way to do your fucking mouth sound. And his name is Madcap Splashman. Alright, well we're building up a second universe of characters here on Cheap Show. And I think we all agree, they're not as good as our already poor originals. So, let's move on. I tell you what, Eli, we've got such such, um, such

such Such a good show? We have a good show going. We have so much coming up. Let's cram it all in good show we have so much coming up let's cram it all in now I've got lots coming up oh god oh god

no like a cucumber burp maybe I'm coming up that kind of thing I've done a burp right now you didn't need to follow that up with anything

I already topped it I could just stop talking forever and then how would you do the podcast it wouldn't be as popular I grant you but it would at least have sentences in it.

Oh! This is a sentence. Just did one. And that. I think we need... You know what we need? No, you don't need Timmy Bobby Spellman. Whatever his name is.

I don't even remember his name. It's because you don't remember his name. He lives here, you know. What's his name? Bobby Wordcounter G. That's not his name. That's not his name. Bobby Wordcounter G. It's not his name That's not his name Bobby word counter Jim

It's not his name And we're not doing it He changes his name a lot Oh look He's got legal problems Oh look there's ten minutes Nearly over Let's finish this segment

Alright sorry Egg time Just round the corner For all you egg snickers Don't big it up Don't big egg time Up round the corner It's egg segment

It's our first egg segment And there's a theory attached I have a full right To be excited about this Egg segment I wish you I am I'm looking One of the eggs Has got a fucking weird thing mate egg segment and there's a theory attached. I have a full right to be excited about this egg segment. I wish I had more excitement. One of the eggs has got a fucking weird thing, mate. One of the eggs has got a growth. Seen that?

Yes, I have. Nibble nobble, grophy on the egg. Nibbles. I hate you so much. I know. It's good to be back. It's good to be back. We've been on the road and it's nice to be back in the good old house of ham and eggs. Sausage and eggs. Saus good to be back. It's good to be back. We've been on the road and it's nice to be back in the good old house of... Ham and eggs.

Sausage and eggs. Sausage, mash and eggs. Sausage, mash and eggs. Doesn't have a ring to it. No. It's a very poor... What about Land of the Giant Snapple? Oh, that's all right.

Land of the Giant Snapple. Although that sounds like we're getting branded by Snapple and we're related to them. Well, you got branded by Snapple a few times on our stream. That means fucking nothing. Shut up.

You got prodded hard. Shut up. Simulated Snapple a few times on our streams. That means fucking nothing. Shut up. You got prodded hard. Shut up. Simulated Snapple rubbish. You know what? When it comes to this kind of talk, I hate your mashinations. Oh, wow. He pointed at the mash picture, everybody, just for context. It's the cleverest thing I'm going to fucking say

today. No, you peaked with the first sentence you said about advise. I advised you. Right, well then let's end this fucking episode now then. No, let's not. the first sentence you said about advise. I advised you. Right, well, then let's end this fucking episode now, then. No, let's not. Can we go to the fucking next segment? I'm genuinely excited. Only if you say, Paulie, Paulie, please me do.

Make me egg time fun of glue. I don't know. Say something. I could say that. Go on, say it. Paulie, Paulie, make me goo. Egg time. I don't want to meet you.

That's it. We'll just do the segment. Paulie, Paulie, please just do the segment oh off brand off off brand off brand off off off

off off off off off off off off

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off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off, brand off, brand off, brand off, brand off, brand off, brand off. I wonder how long it takes us to break. I got it in my head. I'm timing it out to see how long it goes before one of us cracks up. It's off brand, brand off. It's off brand, brand off. This is the part of the show where we compare and contrast brand against off brand. It's kind of that simple, really, in a nutshell.

Blind taste tests, where we look at, basically, it's to do with the value of items and the more expensive versions. And whether it's worth getting the cheap ones to save money. Yes, because in the past, we have been surprised by, famously, the mayonnaise. It wasn't. No, see, this is a bit of a myth that's grown up around that segment, Paul, that you keep reiterating. You still preferred it to the Hellmann's. I preferred the Sainsbury's Hellmann's copy to the real Hellmann's, yes. So therefore the points were cheaper.

It's the same price point. All right, okay. And the very, very cheap stuff was bad. That's what I'm trying to say. It was extremely nasty. But there have been instances of cereals and colas that we've really enjoyed that have them in the brand colas and actually been a lot cheaper as a result. Oh, recently I like those cheese biscuits from Iceland.

Oh, yeah. Or the Morrison's cheese crackers. A lot better than the branded cheddars, didn't I? Yeah, the cheddars or whatever they're called. A lot better. A lot more cheesy and a lot more kind of robust in this kind of roasted flavour. Absolutely. For me, I'm not a big fan of cheddars, because

they get to this cardboardy mulch. It's like socky mulch. It's that cracker mulch you get when you have too many crackers in your mouth. But we're not here to talk about crackers, Paul. We are here to talk about eggs. we are here to talk about eggs eggs

you know you make me want to say eggs eggs get your eggs out eggs eggs your eggs out eggs fucking pathetic awful

just awful I'm going to go I'm done no come on don't walk out on yourself I thought I was doing alright the viral line really kind of made me feel

oh maybe I'm on form and then we're what 15 minutes in and I want to blow my brains out. Yeah, we're lurching around from madness to epiphany. Yes. So tell me why, finally, we're tackling boiled eggs. I was listening to a podcast,

and a chef and food scientist guy was on the podcast. Do you remember his name out of interest? I do not. Okay. I should have picked that up. I'm sorry. But he said he does taste tests to see exactly in a more rigorous and scientific context what we do on Brand Off.

Yeah. He looks at people's response to food. He's an educated man. We're more kind of of the common people. He does actual scientific experiments where he has proper control groups and stuff like that. And he said all the findings about eggs are that it doesn't matter what the egg is,

how posh the chicken is, what happened to the chicken. How it was raised. Anything like that. All eggs are indistinguishable in terms of the mouth taste and texture. Okay. And did he say why particularly? Or is it just because at the end of the day...

It's the chemical constituents. I think, this is my personal thing, in order to be an egg, it can only be made of egg. Do you see what I mean? If the chicken's well enough to make an egg, it's going to be made of egg. It's always the same chemicals. Do you see what I mean?

I can understand the point, but part of my brain is thinking, would a free-range egg that is in a cage have a tastier egg? This is the argument yeah people do but he also cited another experiment where people um were asked to rate scrambled eggs yes and they put a little bit of orange food dye in the scrambled egg because the thing about eggs is people think that they're better if the yolk is more sort of orangey right right yeah yeah yeah

you know rather than yellow or lighter yellow you'd say that's cheap or that's not as nice yeah and so he puts orange food dye in scrambled eggs to make it look more more yolky yeah and people rate it higher and this is tasteless food dye and he adds they say that's a better egg that i enjoyed that more that was then the other scrambled egg they were also given that was just normal. Which is the same egg without the... So, I was interested by this, because I love eggs. Yes. And I wanted to lead in, if I may, Paul, to asking you about egg experiences you've had. What's your favourite egg?

How do you like eggs done? Ever been egged? What's your egg thing, you know? Give me some egg words. Come on! Daddy, make me talk egg. Talk egg, boy Come on. Daddy make me talk egg. Talk egg, boy. Right.

Okay, I'll say this, though. I like eggs. Right? That's a good start, isn't it? It's a good start to say I like eggs. You like eggs. Good. No, we're both on the same page there.

And my favourite way is probably fried. I used to really not like poached, but these days I've come around to poached. Yeah, poached is a very clean, pure tasting. But sometimes people add too much vinegar to the water and it ruins the egg flavour. Ah, you're absolutely right. Thank you.

And I don't think if you do a poached egg properly, you don't have to add vinegar. No, you shouldn't need to. You shouldn't need to. No. It's only if you're having big problems with, like, soft water or something. Someone said if you stir the water, then drop the egg in it. That's how I do it.

Yeah. It looks pretty as well. It is a tricky way to produce them, to prepare them, rather. And if it fails, it fails hard. You just get a splodge. A dirty, soggy splodge. A dirty, glutinous splodge. It's not gluten.

It hasn't got gluten in it. Sticky plodge? It's not sticky. Embryotic splodge. A rubbery, nibble-nobble splodge. Stop talking shit use words what nibble nobbles words mate if i said nibble knobble you'd complain because i'm a nibble knobble jibber jabber kind of guy jibber jabber but i like jibber jabber um do you like

the jibber jabber when it comes to eggs i like fried and i have this little thing where when i fry an egg i like i don't like the yolk to be too runny. So I'll flip it over. And then what I'll do is before I flip it over, I'll sprinkle some rosemary and thyme on the egg. Oh, you like a herby egg. Yeah, and flip it. And then when it's all ready, it's got a little bit more flavor. You know what? My philosophy is almost exactly the same as yours when it comes to what eggs I like.

I like a fried egg. I like them sunny side over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly like that. You want some runniness left in the yolk. But not so it drowns your plate. No, no. And then you get all of the white on the top half by flipping it over.

That gets cooked properly. So it's a perfect egg for me. Do you know what I mean? It's a popular egg here at Cheap Show Podcast. I wouldn't herb it. I would put some pepper on. And you know what I do? I put hot sauce on the egg whilst it's cooking.

I sometimes do hot sauce. Before the white is fully solidified and you can get the sauce actually into the body of the egg that way. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Tabasco's a good one for that. You know what? I love an egg sandwich with salt. I can't believe this is a whole egg segment.

I know we've talked about all kinds of foods and cooking. We haven't done eggs before. We haven't done eggs. But there's just something so odd for you specifically to be this into the segment. And I haven't seen this passion in your face before. Listen, so I love a fried egg. Love it with hot sauce.

Yeah. I was just about to say, fried egg sandwich with salt and enkona hot sauce is a banger. And sometimes I like HP sauce on my fried egg. Delish, delish. It's a great sauce. It's a great sauce. It's a great sauce. It's a great thing, an egg. Right.'s a great sauce It's a great thing an egg

Right What do you think about boiled eggs? Not my favourite They're nice in a sandwich as well though I've got to be in the right mood I'll tell you what's really nice A boiled egg sandwich Toast

Butter Ketchup Salt and pepper Slice the egg Stick it in that So the butter melts a bit Under the warm egg You know what I mean?

Right Christmas Right What's that noise? The shut up Eli noise It's the I want to say something warm egg yeah you know what i mean right christmas right what's that mike what's that noise the shut up eli noise it's the i want to say something but i've given up hope come on say it you can't let you speak oh no so let me get to the point right so today on the show to kind of back up eli's theory that he heard on a podcast uh we're gonna try three eggs and we thought about what kind of

range of eggs should we get eggs that are overly expensive compared to ones that in this instance we got from iceland so let's start the worst eggs the battery eggs so let's start with that right so let me mention the eggs and then we'll tell what the experiment how it works sure so we'll go through all through all three eggs that we are going to use first the first batch comes from... The worst eggs we got were from Iceland. Ten large eggs. Now, not worst, just cheapest. Cheapest. Yeah.

They are class A, British class A. You've used quite a few class A's in your time, haven't you? Is that what we're talking about now?

It can be. Have you ever done coke off an egg or something? I have not, no. That wouldn't be good to try and do a line on an egg because

it's a shape. We could sprinkle it on a flat egg. Okay? Yeah. So you'll be good to try and do a line on an egg because it's a shape. We could sprinkle it on. You need a flat egg, okay? Yeah. So you'll know what to do. Ten large eggs, British Class A, one pound for ten from Iceland. Yeah. And they have a little guide in here, Paul.

Do they? Yeah. About the codes. Right. So you've got O. Right. Organic. Okay.

One is free range. Right. Two is barn. Right. Three, cage. So battery. That range. Right. Two is barn. Right. Three, cage. So battery. That's a nice way of saying battery, Hen. UK.

Yeah. Origin. And then they've got the other codes for UK origin, like farm ID, Scottish farm ID. So this is all the stuff printed on. Northern Irish farm. But none of these are on these eggs. None of the codes on this. Look, I'll read the code off this egg and see if you can match it to the key there. Yeah?

All right. I've got one UK, 23712. So this is number one. What was number one? Organic. So it's an organic... No, free range. So this is a free range UK egg.

Yeah, if that's what it says on it, why would they lie now? Why wouldn't they say free range on the egg box? And why they sell 10 for... I don't think they are free range. Oh, no, it says eggs on the box. It says eggs on the box it says eggs from caged hens caged yeah it's definitely caged hens because they're so cheap so what does

class a mean then it just means they're well does that mean they're lying on the egg i think the egg's lying to you yeah why would they print lies on an egg i don't know hang on anti-vaxxers know the truth it says that it says i'm looking on the next day pandemic says that. It says, I'm looking on the next egg. Plandemic, does it say? It says, eggs around, but the earth is flat. Oh. Hang on, what's this one? Paul Daniels,

it says. That's it, just says Paul Daniels. what is that egg suggesting? Hang on, and what's from this one? Noel Edmonds is watching. Oh.

He's got eggs, he's got eyes on his eggs. He's got, Edmonds has got eyes on eggs. Now, that's our cheap, cheapo. Cheapo egg. So eyes on eggs. Now, that's our cheapo. Cheapo egg. So if eggs taste different, that will be the most bland or flavourless or yucky tasting or whatever.

Or the texture. Yeah. But we have cooked all of the eggs exactly the same amount of time. I saw to that. Our middle egg, our slightly higher than average priced egg, is St. Ewe, as in Yewtree, weird, because you said Paul Daniels. No, Paul Daniels wasn't part of Yewtree for a start, so we might have our differences,

but I'm not going to label him a nonce just because you saw an egg box. All right. These are St. Ewe rich yolk. Delicious free range with extra rich yolks. Now, that attracted me because I thought, what extra rich? Probably orange. Is there a code on? What does that mean? Extra rich? Probably orange.

Is there a code on the inside of that explaining its outrageous claim? I mean, how do they do it? Oh, there is a lot of information on the inside of that. I didn't know these would be so packed with information

on the inside. You get eggs, you get info. Right. It says in here, St. Hugh's free-range egg is a family-run business. Family-run business, Paul. Right.

Practising the very best, producing the very best free-range eggs. We'll see about that. Right. You read it. My eyes are going, I think. From time to time, we supplement our supply from other line-accredited British free-range farms. There you go.

Oh, do you? These free-range eggs come from farms approved by the Freedom Food to Strict RSPCA Welfare Standards. The hens must have the ability to perch, preen, nest, forage, and have the freedom to roam in open pasture. But it is a bit devious, isn't it? Because it's trying to sort of suggest they're from one farm. Or suggest, isn't it? Yeah. And then they say, actually, it's from a bunch of farms. So it's just a sort of suggest they're from one farm or suggest isn't it uh yeah and then they say actually it's from a bunch of farms so it's it's just a sort of from time to time so maybe it's once every other week yeah from time like this time to the next time and every time and the code is the same time to time mean it doesn't have a meaning doesn't it

from time to time uh so it's the same code oh organic one free range two barn so this is this is a free this is so this is a free range UK egg. Yeah, so your standard egg, basically. And the number is what farm it's from. Yeah, it's a standard egg. That's not a cheap egg. It's not an expensive egg. It's an in-between egg.

I don't understand with extra rich yolks, how do they know that? I think that's just going to have a very orangey yolk, which they do by breeding or some way. That's my theory. You can tell it's a middle class egg though, isn't it? Because it says lovely for baking and making pasta. It's like no one makes pasta unless your name's fucking Tarquin.

Fucking Tarquin. Have you been reading those exposés? Of Tarquin? The My Name's Tarquin Pasta Making Club. Oof. Does that give you indigestion when i say that no what it was was my brain went can you make that work and can we run on that idea and then it went no i suggest pulling out paul and so i did you're always pulling out on my ideas no i'm always no i'm not gonna do that

joke either right okay uh so our final and most expensive egg. Here come the posh eggs. How much were these eggs, the rich yolk? £2? £2.60, I believe. £2.60, something like that. That's hugely more expensive already from our bottom eggs, which I have to remind you was... £10.

...for a pound. Yes. So that is what? How much is that each egg? I'm not doing the math. Yeah, 10p eggs. Even you could do that math. Didn't have to.

You did it for me. Delegation of duty, mate. Those are 10p an egg. Why can't I see? Can do these these eggs now the very posh one in a special box that you might receive a piece of jewelry from it's a very posh or something yeah it's like a kind of box you get a like a retro gaming console or a sort of scented candle yeah Yeah. Or something like that. It's very posh. Cackle bean. Cackle bean. Six, exquisite. Free range eggs.

Not just eggs. Exquisite. Exquisite eggs. Exquisite. Exquisite. I'm surprised they didn't, but maybe because they're... Exquisite. I know.

But I'm guessing they didn't do that. They did do that. No, of course they did do that. No, they didn't do that. They did do that. What? They're sitting there trying to market eggs and they don't say exquisite but it doesn't say egg squiz it on no they're too classy for that that's my point that's my point that's my point good we've made the same point but you had

to correct me to make your point exquisite was my point that you told me i needed correcting on these are posh eggs and i'd say they're getting a bit above their station, these eggs, from the copy on the inside. Read the obnoxious copy now. I will say this before we go any further. The eggs are presented inside. There's a brown and a white one, a brown and a white one, a brown and a white one. Now, in order, I used, I boiled a brown one in order to sort of match

more evenly with the other eggs that we're tasting today, Paul. These are Class A assorted sizes free-range eggs from Cackle Bean. Once upon a time in the deepest Cotswold lived some very special hens. Could you fuck off? Whose story now unfolds. I just want to buy some eggs.

Their eggs, you see, were called Arlington Whites and the dazzling shells made a wonderful sight. I just want some eggs. Within each one was a golden treasure, a yolk so fine it gave great pleasure. No, I don't need to pleasure myself with these eggs. I just need breakfast.

Delicious and creamy, the effect quite creamy. I've got cream. I've got cream if I want cream. I don't want a creamy egg. I want an eggy egg. People came around for miles to Cackleberry Farm where the hens could be found if they hadn't yet hopped on the bus into town what they got on a bus the birds the bus go

fuck off oh what a little they want us to go how cute those little chickens are getting on a bus just like a little human i love eggs there just a few, pretty silly it's true, who opined for that egg to gain such fame some magic must be to blame. Truth to tell, the birds lived so well, there was simply no need for the casting of spells. With freedom to roam and enjoy

chicken fun, plus a nourishing meal and plenty of sun. The plain fact that our privileged poultry were treated as they were blue-blooded royalty. They're trying to say they're blue-blooded royalty? It was this that created the egg lover's delight, an oval-shaped marvel

named Arlington White. Fuck yourself, cackle bean, and your terrible copy. Sack your marketing people, because that was hard to get through. And these are also free range from the UK, so they've all got the same egg markings on.

Yes. So there you go. Didn't you find that obnoxious? I mean, it's cute, but no one buys a box of eggs and goes, oh, look, poetry. The story of the eggs. They held them in cages and necks all tight.

They shat on their legs and the acid burnt through the skin. Why don't you rhyme? Why couldn't you make that rhyme? Because it was... I gave you a really easy... No, it's not... All right, set me up again.

Come on, I'll give you another rhyme. I'll come up to the bat again. I'll think of a rhyme. I can do a think of a rhyme. The wee little chickens were rosy and bright until they almost drowned in piles of their shite. Chained to the floor, their legs unable to move,

they go round and gnaw on each other's hooves. Right, okay. I mean, they don't have... Chickens don't have hooves. So... That's what I'm subverting reality, mate. I'm taking it.

I'm twisting it round. Look at it from a different angle. Look at humour from a different angle. I'm coming up with all ideas bubbling up all right here's one more then right they laid egg after egg hundreds and hundreds and then they went out and it was cold it was the tundras i'm almost gonna let you have that because i couldn't think of a rhyme for hundreds so i'm fucking dead so fuck you well played forever now i got a hunger for them eggs.

Right, so here's what we've done. We've taken one of each egg, and so we know which is which when we put them into boil, we put the number one on the most expensive egg, which is the cackle bean. Number two got the... The St. Hugh's extra creamy rich yolk. And then three is the Iceland 10 for one pound egg.

However, when I was preparing the eggs, Paul, one is sort of cracked, and it's got a nasty egg tendril coming out. It's got a weird, bulbous pustule. A pustule of egg rubbery nib-nibs. So the one with no number is the replacement for that. All right, so do you think we need to have the replacement? What number is that?

That was number three. I don't know. See how you the replacement? What number is that? That was number three. I don't know. See how you go. That's the Iceland one. That's number three. The one with no number on it. Yeah, right. Okay, good.

Eli, I now need you to don your blindfold for Eli now will go into blind taste test mode. Do you need some moments and just a time to, you know, get into the right space? A sip of my iced tea.

While he prepares himself, I'll just be a chip chopping the top of the eggs off so I can scoop in. Now, do you want a bit of the yolk as well? I think we must have a bit. Shall I break it right in the middle then and scoop from the middle? Yeah, we must have a bit with the yolk in.

That's most important. I'll do that now then. I'm going to break it to the centre. I'm going to don my blindfold now, Paul. It's a very trusting game, this. You trust me to... Because I want to get a good result, and I've got a lot of, yes, you may know, I've got some pride about getting these right in the past,

but if the theory, same eggs, egg same rather, is correct, I won't be able to tell the difference at all, and I'll only be able to distinguish them through pure luck, but I am going to try and do this honestly, and say, you know, that's the taste that i'm tasting and that's the taste of the egg have you got a pen you can write this down with uh i i do yeah i'll write down um what you have to remember which egg you're feeding i know i'm going to do that now i'm going to literally going to put this in this order now so i can decide before i even start okay i'm ready to receive egg in mouth. And also, we can do the taste test. This is pissing me off. Right, here we go.

I have arranged the egg order. I've got bits of egg. I've got order of egg ready to go, right? Hand me egg spoon. I'm going to scoop into the egg, onto the little spoon, and then pass it to you. How is it cooked? Okay.

They're all very evenly cooked. They're a little bit wet in the middle, but overall, there's still enough turgid yolk for you to get a grip on. then pass it to you. How is it cooked? Okay. They're all very evenly cooked. They're a little bit wet in the middle but overall there's still enough turgid yolk for you to get a grip on. Good, good, good.

Right. So I just want to make sure this is the right one. Yeah, right. Here we go. I'm putting on the spoon now a little bit of the egg making sure it's got

I've made sure there's a bit of yolk and a little bit of white so here we go. Careful now I'm going to hand you the spoon. Okay. Be very careful.

There we go. He brings it up to going to hand you the spoon. Okay. Be very careful. There we go. He brings it up to his mouth now. And the first egg goes in. And it's a taste test time for him. I wonder what he'll think. Fine. It tastes of egg. Yeah.

There's a sort of distinct, that taste of yolk. It's creamy. Is it? Is it a creamy yolk? Creamy. I don't know. That taste is of an egg. It's got quite a lot of flavour.

That's good. You want a lot of flavour, don't you, when you come to your yolk? You don't want it to be too kind of... Sulfur, you know, it's that sulphur taste of an egg, yeah. Here's the next... I don't know what to say. Now for the next little bit of egg. I need a palate cleanser, I've got too much egg film.

Hang on with it. I've got all bio egg film. I've handed him his iced tea while I scoop a bit more egg. Okay. The second egg on our docket. I want my egg too. Now I'm having my egg too in my mouth. All right.

This one's a little bit more runny. Oh. So bear that in mind. Why? Just because naturally it's a little bit more runny. Here we go. Egg two. Be careful.

Keep it level. This is egg two. Egg two's going in now. Oh, gosh. It'll look in its mouth when it does that. Fuck. That's horrible. It's like watching Alien.

Right. And that is the second egg delivered to you today. How are you feeling to it? It tastes exactly the same. Really? Yeah. Even the yolk-y-yoke-yoke? The yolk is a different texture.

Yeah. A nicer texture. Okay. Nicer by what measure? Softer, harder, runnier? It's amplitude again, Paul. I'm sorry, but it's sort of a more rounded flavour. It doesn't poke out.

The first one's a bit more sulphury. The second one has a much more sort of mellow... It's almost umami, the egg. You know, it's like a mouth-coating the yolk, you know? Okay. All right, here's your final third egg. That was more pleasant. What's the viscosity on this one like?

It's about the same as the first. Okay, back to the first now. It's a little less runny than the one you just had. There's a bit more texture to it. It might be a bit more white on the... I'll tell you where I'm heading now. I'm going to say the second one was the posh egg. Okay, go on.

And the first one, I reckon... Was Iceland. I don't know. We'll have this egg. Find out. We haven't been smelling them. They all smell the same. Let me sniff the other two eggs after this.

Yeah, I'll let you sniff all the eggs in order. I might need to sniff an egg for deliberation, yeah? After this. Get a half on that. I know. Just fucking eat an egg. Just eat an egg. Look, watch my mouth.

Quick, do the egg special. No. Well, alright, this is it. How do you like it? Again, that tastes exactly the same. Does it really taste exactly the same, though?

I mean, there are no nuances to the yolk or to the, you know, to the album or whatever. No. No? No. Texture? Well, the second two were? No. No? No. Texture?

Well, the second two were runnier. Right. Now, if I was going to be devious... Right. Now, which of the number threes did you use? Did you use my replacement one or the one with the tentacle coming out? Replacement. I didn't use the one with the tendril.

Okay. Now, that ruins the theory. Yeah. Because the tendril one would be harder, wouldn't it? I wouldn't do that to you. That's the reason why you put the egg in, isn't it? The replacement egg. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we're doing this on the strict Cheap Show laboratory conditions. Now, the first one tasted cheaper. Okay. It tasted a bit more sort of unsubtle. Right. Shall we say. The second one tasted better than the third. It was very marginal.

The third was a little less rich. Do you want to smell the eggs? Give me the numbered ones and twos. You want the first egg and the second egg? I want the first egg first, please. If you can hand me some egg and I'll sniff it. Just to make sure I give it in the right order. There you go.

Now, I thought this was... Sniff my egg. I'll sniff your half egg. Sniff my egg. I thought this was the cheapest, didn't I? I don't know what you think. It had the hardest yolk. Yeah, that smells of an egg, that's for sure.

Got a real egg smell, you know what I mean? I'm a doctor. You're surprising me. This is the worst episode of You Bet. Give me egg two. Second egg. Is this egg two? This is the second egg that you had. It smells exactly the fucking same, mate. It literally smells exactly the same. Oh, fuck it. No, I don't need egg three.

I've made my mind up. I'm eating the other bit to the egg, by the way. They're quite nice, aren't they? I mean, they all taste like egg. Yeah, they're quite nice aren't they I mean they all taste like egg yeah they so do don't they yeah I have less confidence in this

than any off brand brand off segment in recent memory so we've got I've got no idea really they tasted exactly the same to me

we allegedly have three parameters something that's cheap that should be you know cheap and nasty we also have something that should be exquisite and we also have something that's meant to be yolky.

You know, really creamy yolky, whatever they want to say about it. They're your kind of three loose parameters. With that in mind, what do you think the first egg was? One, two, or three? I think the first egg was our battery or caged hen. The very cheap Iceland egg. So that's number three then. Just because it was unsubtle.

It just sort of, you know. All right. Okay. So number two egg. It didn't taste bad, let me say. All right. None of these tasted bad. No, they don't.

Two had the creamiest yolk. So I'm going to say number two is number two. Okay. So I've said number one is number three and number two is number two. Yeah. No, you've said, yeah, the first egg you said was number three. The second egg you said was number two, which means this egg must be. The poshest egg.

The Arlington White, I believe, was the third egg. Right was number two which means this egg must be the poshest egg the arlington white i believe was the third egg right okay i'm gonna take my blindfold you can now take your blinder fold off because i'm about to tell you the order in which you got them right and or wrong ready so you said the first egg was egg number three the cheapest cheapest egg yeah it was actually egg number two. That was the rich yolk one. Rich yolk. You said egg number two was egg number two. That was number three. That was actually the cheapest. That was Iceland.

That was Iceland, the second one. The second one was Iceland, yeah. And then the final one you said was the most expensive, and it was. So, yes, you got the last one right. But I don't know if that really says anything. Yeah. There was very little difference between those, if any. Did you taste?

I tasted a little bit. I took the top half off and I skipped a bit out, and it was like, I couldn't, they all tasted the same. Exactly the same. Especially the yolks did. More than anything else, you could argue the, no, sorry, not the yolk, the white bit. Yeah, because the white bits was always the same, but there was a slight difference in the yolk, but only because how they were cooked. Yes, and that's what fooled me. So I think they were indistinguishable, Paul.

They were indistinguishable. Now, what does that say, though, for this segment? I think it's a good thing that people believe that more expensive eggs taste better. Do you know why? Why? Because more expensive eggs come from chickens whose welfare is much better looked after and in terms of the environment and everything so you're basically playing cage hens and battery farming is a fucking it's horrible yeah that's so it's good that people

want quality well even if it doesn't in in reality taste any different do you see what i mean because we want chickens to be have good lives don't we yes so it's kind of like an anti cruelty tax you pay a bit more and you know that this is in some way less cruel but on the other side having having said that paul on the other side of that wow there is no difference no difference i mean genuinely i could i could like fall because my unless you're a super taste mate who painted the eggs in the yeah in the picture of the ham and eggs the sausage mash and eggs in this place he's into eggs Rogan

Mike Bat Mike Bat specialist he's into eggs I could fool him with these you could it's really interesting it's really interesting but at the end of the day

it kind of shows like yeah you can buy 10 for a pound but if you don't want to support battery farming then pay an extra don't do it and that would be my message

to everyone don't do it pay an extra quid and get the exact same. That would be my message to everyone. Don't do it. Pay an extra quid and get the exact same kind of egg. Maybe the size is different. In the same way you'd avoid

battery reared meat. Do you think a super taster would know? You know these people who are like their tongues are like literally fine tuned instruments. I don't think they would

because I've never tasted anything that varies as little as that. I guess there's like a variety with a mayonnaise there's different types of ingredients and quantities. It's the other ingredients in the mayonnaise. It's like a variety with a mayonnaise. There's different types of ingredients and quantities. It's the other ingredients

in the mayonnaise. It's not the eggs in the mayonnaise. Eggs is eggs, isn't it? Eggs is eggs. That's why they say eggs is eggs is eggs, don't they? That's almost too good

for us not to stop this segment right now. So we've decided that eggs is eggs and you pay for less cruelty. Yeah. Not too bad an outcome. Not too bad.

Off brand, off brand, off brand, off brand. Let's end this segment. No, hang on. There's someone. No, no, no. Paul, Paul, we've forgotten. I'm going to put this egg up my arse.

We've got the sponsor of the segment. No, we don't because he's trapped in another dimension. No, no, but there's a Universe 2 one. Oh, it's going to be awful, mate. What's he called again? We had a great eggs is eggs out. What was he called again? Andre.

Oh, yes. He's Russian, isn't he? Should I get him just... Andre Brandovsky. He's Russian isn't he? Should I get him just Andre Brandovsky He's been very He's trying to get heavy With me earlier So here's what's going to happen

You can do what you want I'm pressing stop right now No no no You're fucking awful Russian accent No he's kind of Look just let him Have a few words yeah

Come on in then Since he's waiting outside I'll get him I'll let him in It's already 33 minutes This segment I just want it fucking done Andre

Andre Okay hang on No we're ready for you now Thanks She's waiting outside. I'll let him in. It's already 33 minutes, this segment. I just want it fucking done. Hold tight. Hold tight. Okay, hang on. No, we're ready for you now. Thanks. Sit down. Thank you. So, what do you want to say?

Ruff, ruff! It's the same fucking thing. That's it. We're done. Ruff, ruff! I'm not even going to let this go any further. No! Oh, he's northern, is he? No!

He sounds fucking northern. I am Andrew. This is awful. Brandovsky. And I demand the money. He sounds fucking northern. I am Andre. This is awful. Brandowski. And I demand the money. Now he's a Nazi general, is he? I object to you talking about me. Now you're Mariotti.

I'm not Mariotti. This is like watching fucking Bobby Davro do copycats. Now listen to me. Are you Paul? Polsky? Are you Polsky? No, don't put ski on the end of everything. Eliaski told me you give me money.

I hate this. I go now. Bye. Bye. Oh, my God. Andre. Andre Baranovsky. Brandovsky.

Ah, Bram Ranskovsky. You could have let me at least try and do the voice for this character and give me something to do. But it's my voice. Why would I let you? You know what? Forget it. Goodbye.

Bye, everyone. Bye, segment. Andre Baranovsky. Fuck off. Fuck off. I'm done with this segment now. why would I let you you know what forget it goodbye bye everyone bye segment Andre Baron Randolphskit fuck off fuck off I'm done with this segment now alright Andre

thanks yet no we're not I'm wrapping up we're going to press stop I thought he was charming actually he's a fucking you wretched bastard it's the fucking price of shite it's the fucking price of shite oh it's the fucking price of shite

It's the fucking price of shite tonight. And that's right. I'll do a bit of a disco carol. I need, obviously, a big string quartet behind me. Is that the bass line? What are you saying? Pop a dom? Is that what you're saying?

That's how the bass sound goes. You just heard that. that right so it's the fucking price of shite the part of the show where we go through the charity shops we find that a bunch

of stuff we try and guess the prices it's kind of that simple we've had one sent in to the PO box recently and it comes with a letter but I don't believe

he's put his name on it so I apologize but if it's you thank you unless it's somewhere else in the letter anyway it's in there dear cheap show that's the easy else in the letter. Maybe it's in there. Dear Cheap Show.

That's the easy way of doing it, isn't it? Just say Dear Cheap Show, then we don't need to have a... That's us. Yeah. This is my pass the parcel version of the price of shite. Items are wrapped layer by layer in order of cheapest to most expensive. Oh. First layer cheapest, last layer most expensive.

They were purchased in West London. All items range between 10 pence and three pound good luck PS apologies if the packing is a pain to open

scissors will be required oh shit I'll go get scissors and get a pen and paper as well because we need to do the scores

and PPS I think the winner should get to choose what items they keep oh most between gets to choose well maybe yeah if the prizes are

good enough to keep otherwise go in back to a charity shop, mate. And the circle of life continues. We bringeth the gifts. We revieweth the gifts. We returneth the gifts. You bring us the gifts. We revieweth the gifts.

We returneth the gifts to charity shop. It's the circle of the cheap show life. Now to wait for Eli's return. Okay, we're still going. And Eli has returneth. Here is the paper. I was just explaining the cheap show circle of life. Yeah, nice.

The cheap show circle of life. They bringeth the gifts. We revieweth the gifts. We returneth the gifts to charity shops. Very nice cycle. There's one bit missing. What? How did it start?

You bringeth the gifts. I receive of betweeneth in my fold. No the gifts. I receive of betwingeth in my folded velvet wingeth. No, the receive of the betwingeth is a separate if. I do receive of the betwingeth though.

Because then it has to be you give us the gifts, we revieweth the gifts, you betwingeth the gifts, you unweld it and leave your wingeth begift.

I embrace it in the velvety down of my wingeth. And then we returneth it. Right. So. How about the scissors?

So layer by layer. I don't know where the answers are. They might be on the top layer. They might be in the middle. They must be in there with them. This is exciting, isn't it? It's a very different one. Now, Paul, what am I doing?

You are putting your mouth between the legs of your small stuffed toy named Poindexter. Because he's been a very good boy this week. Now, what you do for him, he's a good boy. You give him mouth slappage on his groin. He's been a very good boy this week. You do for he's a good boy. You give him mouth slappage on his groin. He's been a very good boy.

Has he? Not that good then. Fuck it up. Right. Well, we can't give him anything to protect yet. Why? Because we don't know where the answers are. I'm stamping him.

I'm giving him the splodge stamp. Stop doing that. Stop grabbing him by the head and slapping him down the table like a rubber stamp. Right. Poindexter is here. He's the guard

of the Petwings. Yes. Are we going to have a gamble item? How are the points going to be awarded? I don't know how many items are even in this.

This letter is... All right. Should we do the first layer and see if it becomes more apparent? Yeah. We should do music and pass it back and forth

and then when the music stops whoever is holding it opens the layer. So like... I it oh it stopped with me oh that's good i get to do the first layer i've got a feeling i've been scammed on that one all right i'm tearing us under the first layer use scissors no i want to use my hands like a foraging man wrong you'll be stop pouring at it. The first layer is off, and there's a letter. There's a letter in the first layer.

With the answers on. Oh, this has the answers, and it's got a lovely seal. We'd like to see a waxen seal to protect the twinger, but just for extra protection, Poindexter will be deployed after I've nubbed his slosh off a bit. Shut up talking fucking nonsense man. Stop doing that.

He's been such a good boy. Now he's sitting there on the answers. The layer is off and that's all there was so I'll let you open the next layer then because all I got was the answers. Now this will be the cheapest one. Apparently so, so whatever's on that first layer. And it's 10p to 33, all of them between.

The items range between 10p and £3. So I'm imagining the least expensive is going to be no less than 10p. And the most expensive, no more than £3. If £3 at all. If £3 or 10p at all. Now, remember, when we judge the prices, if we're spot on in our calculations, we get two per twings. If we're off by 25p either way calculations, we get two per twings. If we're off by 25p

either way, we just get one per twing. Oh, I've found it's some kind of funky worm. What is it? It's a long, bendy,

rubber worm in neon pink. It looks a bit like an exerciser. Is it Nathaniel, my little digitiser? It's my willy! It's my willy It's my Willie.

Who were we talking about the other day? That's right. Roger Moore. This is how I imagine Roger Moore's is like. You think Roger Moore's penis looks like a long tapeworm? Did. Did. Yes.

It might be the last part. Oh, it's got a hole in it. It's not got a hole. It's got a metre's hole in it. It's not. Can I touch you? It does. Look, there's a a hole in it. It's not got a hole. It's got a meter's hole in it. It's not. Can I touch yours? It does. Look, there's a little meter's worm coming out.

Don't pull back. Don't pull back. Look, Paul, I'm pulling it back and the meter's worm comes out the top. This is gross. You've ruined this for me. Let's have a little feel of it. What does it do?

It's a little wiggly worm. What's it for? Playing with. But you can't like one of those, you know those furry worms that you can play with on a little string. It doesn't have that. It is literally just a pointless

long pink piece of bloody rubber or whatever this is. Do you think you've got it moist or damp in some way? She'd go out with me. And you threw it at a wall or a window. It would stick. It would go blub blub blub. Maybe throw it at that wall. a window it would stick it would go no

you threw it at that wall no it bounced it bounced off the wall but it didn't stick it's a bouncy worm it didn't stick and tumble did you see the meters holes

I did see I instantly moved on don't sniff the little pink worm it smells of bathrooms what kind of bathroom smell it it's got an odour quite a nice odour

no it just smells of rubber it smells like it smells clean it doesn't smell of rubber. It smells clean. It doesn't smell of rubber. It smells like... I do not do that! What? Don't do what?

Have you snapped your worm? What's it for? Anyway, we'll see how he describes it in the answers. So, like, paper. You need to write down the answers. Okay, so... That's the cheapest item, Paul. Yeah.

I'm just going to call it Pink Worm. Pink Worm. Because that's what it is. Pink Worm. What do you reckon in the open market the Pink Worm fetches?

I'm going to say 20p for that. And just to be clear, the Pink Worm doesn't fetch. It doesn't ejaculate in any way. We haven't certainly made it do that yet, so who knows? What are you saying? You said 20 knows what are you saying what do you say 20p did you

think I'll fetch I think I'd go for quite a lot did you say 20p 20p yeah can you now give us your scores it's the cheapest item of the list yeah I'm gonna

say I'll keep it fruity keep it fruity what does that mean I'll say 25 25p now if we are 25p either way of the actual price you've said that i thought you explained that while you were setting up yeah just to kind of fill in the time you know keep it slick keep it moving should we move on to our second layer i'll take the next i will do the music it stopped i do this layer

you did the last layer with the worm and i want to do this layer with Why? You did the last layer with the worm. And I want to do this layer with whatever's in this one. Here we go, boys and girls. Now, this one's a nice blue shopping bag. Classic corner shop. Corner shop blue bag, isn't it? Right, here we go. I've got to be careful without tearing the next layer.

It's packed. It's been beautifully presented, this price of shite. It gives us a little something different, doesn't it? And that's all that matters. I love the sealing wax. Oh, this price of shite. A little something different, doesn't it? And that's all that matters. I love the ceiling wax. Oh, I know what this is. Let me just make sure there's nothing else. It's a gorilla candle.

It's not a gorilla candle. I can see it's a Buddha candle. Not right there yet. Right, no. What this is, is a... Spaceman candle. It's Stig from the BBC TV series, Top Gear. In the form of a candle.

Soap on a rope. Yeah, it's a Stig soap on a rope. Now, Stig is the masked car driver that does the speed tests and things. He's the expert driver. Race car driver. And they kind of mythologise him as a kind of weird Darth Vader-y android.

But he's not even one person. No, he's a bunch of stuntmen, one of which did an expose book, remember? Oh, really? Saying Cloxon's a cunt, and Hammond's a cunt, and May, cunt. Really?

He said all three of them were cunts altogether. Pretty much. He said he didn't really, you know, I've not read the book. I'm just presuming if I'd written a book

based on my time with Top Gear, I would just call the book Three Cunts and just get on with it. So yeah, it's a Stig soap on a rope. Let me have a little appraisal.

Does it sniff? I didn't sniff it. Very, oh, it's that kind of old bloke who owns a Mercedes. Because that's the thing about soap on a rope. Let me have a little appraisal. Does it sniff? I didn't sniff it. Very, oh, it's that kind of old bloke who owns a Mercedes. Because that's the thing about soap on a rope. Is it 60s or 70s invention? It was 60s, yeah. Or was it earlier than that?

But it's that weird kind of way of, you'd have it around your neck, wouldn't you, ideally, so you'd go shower. That was why it was called soap on a rope. No, you'd have it hanging up in your shower. But I thought it was if you were showering in a public bath and you could hang it around your head so you didn't drop it. No.

No. Or something like that. No, that's not. No. You don't wear it around your head while you wash. You're not going to bend down. It was just so you could have it hanging up in the shower. You wouldn't want to then what?

Then you use it. It's got your pubes sticking to it and you've got it hanging around your neck as you walk out. Like Medallion Man. No, you don't wear it like Medallion Man No you don't wear it with a lady's coat Oh soap on a rope he's wearing it around

like a medallion look at those big manly thick pubes embedded in it All I'm saying is it's a kind of big oily thick curly springy pube

It's just when I think of soap on a rope I think dad present and that's kind of what Top Gear represents dad stuff Especially the novelty stuff so you're saying

the form of what this is represents goes with what it is. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, a very dad gift, Father's Day kind of Christmas stocking filler kind of piece of shit. It's a terrible thing. At least it has some utility. It does have some utility.

It could be soap. If you've ever wanted to wash your grundle with Stig's helmet, now's your chance. What did you think of the smell? I didn't do that. Do the smell. I'm going to tear it open to get a big sniff of the Stig.

Get a big sniff of the Stig. Sniff, sniff of Stig. It smells of 70s cologne. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I was trying to say. Old guy. It smells like old guy. And freshly painted living room.

Yeah. It's got a weird... It's a distinct... It's a perfumed soap. It's not just a soapy smell. It's got a perfumed... it's a perfumed soap. It's not just a soapy smell. It's got a perfumey smell. Yeah. I don't like it.

I do not like that. So you get to go first with the guest this time. What do you think that was? Now, we don't know how many layers there are, so it's hard to judge

with how high to go next. I like it. We need to, I'm going to say seven, 80p. 80p. Fair enough.

I guess. I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with 65p. 80p. Fair enough. I guess... Stig soap. I'm going to go with... I'm going to go with 65p. You said 65. Oh, God. I think I sniffed Stig too hard. Yeah, don't sniff Stig too hard. It's gone right up the nose.

It calls... Also, I sorry... That's layer one. Layer two, how many layers will there be? Also, I sorry for farting on last week's podcast. No, you can't take it back. I sorry for peeing next to camera. What did you say?

Do you want here? You want a bean feast? I'll give you a bean feast. That was another episode. I've done a lot of farting recently. I'm going to stop. What did you say last week on the UFO hunt? It was a close encounter of a beefy kind.

So what did you say there? It's almost worth farting. I said 85. You said 65. Right, okay. Next item. And we're on to the next layer, which I'm going to do.

Pass me the scissors, please. I'm handing them carefully to 65. Right, okay. And we're on to the next layer, which I'm going to do. Pass me the scissors, please. I'm handing them carefully to him. Handle first. So what's on that layer? It's all very tightly put together. There's something on this layer. Oh, what is it? It looks like it's frog-based.

It's a frog stand ornament. Frog ornament. Frog face standing ornament. This has to be one of the most pointless things I think I've seen. It's like a desk ornament. This is classic Price of Shite stuff. This is terrible. That is terrible.

It's a badly, simply portrayed frog face. It's a metal frog face, flat. It's a grill, a metal grill in the shape of a frog face. With a stand, a metal frame stand on the back, hinged, a hinged stand on the back, and you can just look at a frog. Look at this, it's a frog. No, it must have some purpose. Eli, Eli, come over here, look at that. Look at me frog.

It's a frog grill face thing. Nice grill frog face on your desk. I like frogs. I didn't want to go down on him, but then I looked over at his desk and the frog face grill thing, I thought, yeah, I'll knob Jim off. Why do you have to knob everything I put on the table? I don't knob shit off.

Yeah, talking of knobbing off. Stop licking his taint. Don't lick points. Poindexter has to protect the points. Poindexter protects points. The PPP. And his stamps. Stop it.

What's wrong with you? I don't know. There, Poindexter. Right, so, I'll judge... So, frog thing. You go first with the frog thing. I'm going to say... Because we don't know what it is.

I'm going to say... What do you think it is? I'm going to say... I don't know. It's got no use. Is it like a photo frame? No! You can't stand anything against it.

Nothing slides into it. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to say it is... I'm going to say 90p. 90p from Paul. I don't know what it is, but I'm going to say it is... I'm going to say 90p. 90p from Paul. I'm staggered by the pointlessness of that.

That is a good item. It's not like it's a recognisable comic-y character. It's just a very basic sort of cartoon frog face.

And why do we think it's a frog? Would we think it was a frog if the grill hadn't been painted green? I mean, out of push, you could say

it's a dinosaur's head. Could be a dinosaur head, yeah. Or, you know, a turtle. Yeah. Could be a turtle. It could be a little turtle head poking out, couldn't it?

Right, next item. I give it. Give it here. There you go. I wonder how many more there are. This might be... We don't know. You don't want the scissors

to get through that tape? Oh, I like tearing at it. It feels like I'm being... They're very well packed, I just have to say. And we're on to the next layer. Oh, I like tearing at it. It feels like I'm being... They're very well packed, I just have to say. And we're on to the next layer. Oh, it's exciting, this. There's at least one more.

It's a... First of all, I know it's a mug. Yeah. It's a Beatrix Potter mug? Oh, no, it's a little Thomas the Tank Engine. It's a little Thomas the Tank Engine. On the back, it says, Thomas was happy. Come along, come along, he puffed.

And he whistled, peep, peep. What did I say for Frogface? You didn't let me give frog face a fucking price. That's because you're off on a fucking random fucking story about splashing your dick sauce all over froggy face. That's what you were doing while you were thinking of the scores. No, I just let you go down on me. No, move on.

Right, so this is a Thomas the Tank Engine. I need to give a price. Go on, what do you think froggy face is? I said 90p. 60. Right, 60p. Remember, they're going up. Oh.

Ah. So you can't have a price lower than the one you did previously. Quid five. What are you saying? Quid five.

Quid five for the Froggy Face. Right, so this is a little white porcelain mug with a fine printed Thomas the Tank Engine image on it and a little bit of the book on the back i say it's got smearing stripping on the side which is worrying because you know i'm not

gonna say it's been well cleaned one pound 75 for the mug yeah i'm gonna say i'm gonna say 150 for the mug then 50 for the mug from paul moving on because because I hate Thomas the Tank Engine. Why do you hate Thomas the Tank Engine? It's shit, isn't it? It's a kid's show. It's not for you. And I think, fuck this. I don't want to watch this. Yeah, because you were way too old for it by the time the show came out.

Yeah, but I had nothing else to do. Can we see the last episode? So you're saying it's pathetic when obviously you're a guy, you would have been sitting there probably taking a wacky backy at the time and going, oh, isn't Thomas the Tank Engine a thing of joy? Don't try and say, oh, you use wacky backy at the time and going oh isn't Thomas the Tank Engine a thing of joy so shit. Don't try and say oh you use wacky backy as if you're not intimately familiar

with it day in day out self-medicating with it all day long for the last 25 years of your life. So let's do the last item. How dare you accuse me of smoking the jazz cigarette. Stop using's do the last item. How dare you accuse me of smoking the jazz cigarette. Stop using

these terms. Come on. I will not have the herbal bassoon thrust upon me by this. I get to now. Did we say the price? Yes, we did. We both said the price of the mug. Can I have a look at the mug? Oh, yes. There you go. But mind the smidge. There's a bit of dripping on the side.

It's classic artwork, isn't it? It's fine. It's a nice little simple mug. And there's a quote. Thomas was happy. Mate, I read that out. Do you not listen? I'm trying.

Do you listen back to this podcast and go, what a fucking surprise this all is? Shut up. I'm sorry. I didn't hear you say it. Right. Next layer. He tears at it.

I can see what it is. It's a shopping trolley. Is it? Yeah. Can't you see the shape? Oh, yeah. No, I didn't hear you say it. Right, next layer, he tears at it. I can see what it is. It's a shopping trolley. Is it? Yeah, can't you see the shape? Oh, yeah, no, I can. I thought it was a throne chair or something. This is like what they serve... Oh, I hope I win.

I hope I win. I want that. We both want it. Yeah, what a twist to the tail. Oh, it's got a price tag on it. It's probably crossed out. It is crossed out. A few of them have price tags on, but I've ignored them.

He's blacked them out. Which is fair enough. They've blacked them out. It is crossed out. A few of them have price tags on, but I've ignored them. He's blacked them out. Which is fair enough. He's blacked them out so that we don't see. And this is just the most adorable little thing, Paul. It's a simple little metal shopping trolley. You've got them, haven't you? I have them. Some judicious use of the snippers.

God, you're really stabbing at it with your stumpy digits, aren't you? Now, don't start. I've had a hurty wrist for the last month. Hurty wrist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is. Oh, this is a great thing. It's got a real weight and quality to it.

It's got a little feel. Rigidity. Look, and it's got the thing that allows you to stack them. Stack them together. A little collapsible. Well, it's not stack. It's not stack. It's stack as above. Shunt them. Shunt them together. to stack them. Stack them together. The little collapsible. It's not stack. It's not stack. It's stack as above.

Shunt them. Shunt them together. Shunt them. It's got the hinged and what does it say on the crossbar? M&S. M&S food.

Oh, I see. Because M&S did a little thing recently, didn't they? Where if you bought X amount of groceries, you would get three mini versions of their food

so you could build a little toy playset. So this is a little shopping trolley. It's like a little little wheels that move around. The casters work. Everything works.

And it's totally to scale, isn't it? You know what? This is the exact size you could take around Tesco, couldn't you, little boy? Because I'm... Here, little push, push. Because I'm the smallest man who ever lived, Paul. Is this the biggest thing you've ever seen?

That is the biggest thing you've ever seen. You could ride in that and I could push you around the streets on it. That would be fun, wouldn't it? This is the gag, is it? I'm short. You're so small and in a shopping trolley. This is the biggest thing you've ever seen. You could ride in that and I could push you around the streets on it. That would be fun, wouldn't it? This is the gag. Is it? I'm sure. This is the gag that I'm sure. You're so small. Look at little Eli. You little fella.

I'm going to get a character on in a second. Come on. I'll just cut it out. It doesn't matter. Come on, Eli. I'm getting mad. Come on, let's go for a little walk in your trolley. Yes, Mr. Paul. Alright, here we go. You've played your hand. Yes, Mr. Paul. All right. All right, here we go. All right, all right. You've played your hand.

You've played your hand. It's all right, Marjorie. Thanks for being on standby, though. He'll never sell any ice creams going in that street. It's the mental police. I hate London. Right, here we go. So, shopping trolley.

I love it. You love it. What are you going to guess? Because it's shopping trolley, I love it, you love it. What are you going to guess? Because it's your guess first, my friend. Is it? Yes. I'm going to say 250. 250 for that.

And I'm going to say... The shopping trolley hangs in the balance. 285. Because we're quite sure that none of us want any of the other stuff, right? So it's all over the trolley. I'm already thinking about... It's total betwings, isn't it? I'm already thinking about the things I could put in that. Is it total betwings?

Overall win. Whoever wins this wins the shopping trolley. Are there any items you'd like to put the gamble on? No, I'm not doing gamble. Why? I don't want to. Can I gamble if I want to? Yeah, but then if you gamble and lose, you can't have the trolley, no matter if you win. That's the big gamble. Just like Borg's Eye. I don't want this trolley that badly.

Your money's safe. Your money's safe. I don't want this trolley that badly. You're money safe. You're money safe. I don't want this. But it's your prizes. You want to gamble your prizes. Now, let's have a little recap. Oh, zippy, your prizes. We've got the worm.

We've got the stick. I'm doing a charge of the answers because you're in charge of scoring it. That's how it worked last time. Okay, look at that lovely seal. There's a lovely seal. Don't break the seal. I'm going to take a picture of it

so people can see the lovely seal. Beautiful seal on this bespoke price of shite today. Poindexter has protected these points and no one has penetrated Poindexter's points protection position. Poindexter's going to have a little debrief for now, for me. That was a great alliteration then, did you hear that? Hang on, I'm listening to I'm just listening to Poindexter. He's too easy to listen to

a fucking fake beard in his co-host. He's giving me a debrief. Oh, he's sticking the tongue in my ear, Paul. He's trying to reciprocate. You don't do that, Poindexter. I give. You receive.

Right. If you were wrapped up in your fantasies, maybe you'd listen to the podcast. The podcast? The podcast. That'd be good

for a yoga podcast. The podcast. Do your exercises with me, Eli Silverman. Fish grill. Podcast. I thought podcast would have been like sexy men

flexing muscles and going, podcast, podcast. How about this? What about this? Vigilante. Yeah. Vigilante, street name, aggressive hymen. Sorry, what I blanked out

because all of a sudden words collapsed. Street name, aggressive stamen. Right, no. Right, here we go. I've got the... I've managed to protect the seal as much as possible to protect it.

See, I did that there. Nice. Now, see if the person who's made this has said anything about point... Ah. ...per twings.

Samuel. Samuel. Thank you, Samuel. Thank you, Mr. Samuel for these lovely, lovely and brilliantly astutely observed Price of Shite items.

It's a nice little selection, Paul. Price of Shite items. Right. So, the pink thing. He's just called it a pink thing. Pink thing. It's a worm. It ejaculates a tiny meter's penis.

Yeah. Now, again, these are... Smell like a toilet, but a nice one. Put it down and then leave, please. Go. For people who can't remember Roger Moore's imagined ding-a-ling.

Right. What did you say for the pink thing? For the pink worm I said 25p. I said 20p. The answer is

20p. Oh, Paul's on the nose. So I get two betwings and I get one for being 25p either way. Doesn't say anything about the scoring, does he? No. So it's just as is. It's a textbook. Lots of betwings. And I get one for being 25p either way. He doesn't say anything about the scoring, does he? No.

Right. So it's just as is. It's a textbook. Lots of betwings there. Right. So next one. The Stig soap on a rope. Stig soap on a rope.

What did you say? I said 85p. What did I say? 65p. Oh, the answer was one pound on the nose. So Eli gets a betwing there. We are neck on neck on betwings between there. We are neck on neck on between so far. We are neck on neck.

Giraffe neck on giraffe neck. Right. Thomas the Tank Engine Mug. Was that next or what did we pull out? We did the frog face thing next. Oh, I'll tell you why, because these are both the same price, which is why he's listed them. So let's do them both at the same time then.

What does he describe the frog face thing as? He says frog thing. He says pink thing, frog thing. Yeah, well, there you go. The mug and the frog thing are the same time then. Well, what does he describe the frog face thing as? He says frog thing. He says pink thing, frog thing. Yeah, well, there you go. The mug and the frog thing are the same price, right? Which I think is a little bit disingenuous considering he said each layer. Come on. You know what I mean?

If I have to tell you off a little bit. Well, you always were a bit sensitive about that. Yeah, but I can mess around with rules. But if you're going to say layer by layer, then they should be both the same layer, mate. Just saying. You've let me down. You've let your mum down. You've let your teacher down.

And you let your classmates down. Right. So what did I say for the mug and then the frog thing, then the mug? Frog thing, you said 90p. Mug thing, you said £1.50p. Right. And what did you say for frog thing, then mug? Frog thing, I said £1.05.

Mug thing, I said £1.50p. Right. And what did you say for Frog Thing, then Mug? Frog Thing, I said £1.05. Mug Thing, I said £1.75. Right. Well, they were both £1.50. So that's another two points to me, I think, because I said £1.50 for the Thomas Mug, didn't I? Yes. So that's two betweens for Thomas Mug. I get one betweens for saying £1.75 for the Mug, don't I?

Just. That's allowed. So you get two there, and I get one there. So what did I say for the mug, don't I? Just. That's allowed. So you get two there and I get one there. So what did I say for the Thomas mug? 85p or something? No, for the face. The frog thing, you said 90p. Yeah, okay.

So I'm out with that. Fine. Well, how much was the frog thing? 150. They were both 150. Oh, of course. Yeah. Yeah, well, on the nose on the mug.

So I got two and you got one for that. Yes. All right, cool. Which pushes you. So I'm four versus three. It's four versus three. We're scoring on every round here. Well, it comes down to the final item then.

This is good, isn't it? The shopping trolley. This is neck. It's been a while, Elias. It has been neck and neck on this. This is a truly exciting prize of sight today, Paul. I am both tenting and leaking from my anus at the same time. It feels like I'm unraveling like the saddest party popper.

Is that where the chocolate's made, round there? No. It is the fudge. It's the sticky fudge. It's the sticky fudge. It's the sticky bum fudge, is it? Lickety off the finger. Shut up. Fuckity bum fudge.

Shut up. Fuckity bum fudge, everyone. Honkity bonk bonk. Honky bonk bonk. Yes, yes. I'm going to get that in. If I do really well, I'm going to say honky bonk bonk. Well, you're going to get the trolley if you do.

You're in line to receive the trolley. I have to score. You do have to beat me. You have to get this spot on, don't you? And I have to be out or completely wrong. Yes. So with that in mind, Eli, what did you say for the trolley? For the trolley, I said £2.85.

Right. I said what? £2.50. The answer on this week's Price of Shite is £2.50. Come right down here, Paul. Oh, I've won. You've done it. Another two points, and I didn't get a between there.

Also, how many betwings in all I got? Like six. Exactly six betwings. Six betwings. That's a good showing for me this week. I only managed three betwings in all I got? Like six. Exactly six. Six betwings. That's a good showing for me this week. I only managed three betwings. Half the points. What a great victory.

And you win the trolley. Well done. I'm very happy with this trolley. I want to say thank you to my mother. I want to say thank you to all my friends who've helped me along the way. Your school friends? I don't have any. I also want to say thank you to God.

Eggs? Obviously God. God got me here today. God drove me round here, dropped me off here. I'll pick you up at nine. Is that where the bum fudge comes from? God's dirty knuckle.

God's dirty knuckle bum fudge. That's all the stuff. It's our brand new fudge. You've got bum fudge all seeping all over your trousers. That's separate. That's just the kind of milk. Can I just have my between?

That's the milky way that squeaks out before the fudge comes. It's the calm before the storm, ladies and gentlemen. And you can buy that. No, that was a really good one. Thank you, Samuel.

Full Grumbling Farms. So I'm going to give you Eli. Brilliant cheat show. Eli, here are your three petwings. Petwing, petwing, petwing. Now I would like six petwings from you. And if you give me them in a sexy way, I'll let you have the trolley.

Give me sexy six petwings. Happy birthday. No. Petwing, petwing. Give me sexy six petwings. Happy birthday. No. Petwing, petwing. Oh, hello. Something twanged. Happy birthday. Petwing, petwing.

Oh, dirty. Oh, Mr. Cannon. Petwing, petwing. Oh, God. And I'm keeping the trolley anyway. I got two things out of this. Oh, fuck off. AI, petring. Oh, God. And I'm keeping the trolley anyway. I got two things out of it. Oh, fuck off.

Hey, I'm the winner. I did sexy petrings for you. You sucker. And that's the end of Cheap Show this week. Thank you, Samuel, for a thrilling, a thrilling price of choice. Yeah, well done. Thank you.

I got an erection and a trolley out of it, so we're all good. So thank you for supporting us on Patreon if you indeed do thank you very much if you decide to give go to www.patreon.com forward slash cheap show

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It's a goatsy when you pull it apart. I don't like the name for it. You put the gaping yarn of your arse all against the camera lens. The gaping yarn? The gaping yarn, that's what I call it. You can call it anything you like, but I'm going to call it the gaping yarn.

A chocolate kiss. Anyway, if you want to do that. When you go against it. Yeah, got it. We have pictures that accompany all episodes of Cheap Show. So go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk and find the episode page for this one. And you'll see all the things we've played with

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No, but at Pimp It. Oh yeah, Soho Radio. Please do listen to the House of Pickles sound show which is a music show I do every two weeks. Soho Radio two till four. On Sundays.

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If you just search for blog spot House of Pickles, you'll find the blog which has all of the back copies, so to speak. There you go. House of Pickles Sound Show, thank you. Also, if you want to see what happened on Digitizer and Cheap Show with our last week's episode of Rendlesham, you can now watch both parts.

No, just one part. There's only one part? No, this will be out by then. Yeah, you can watch both parts of our UFO experience. It's a thrilling conclusion. Very thrilling. What else? Email the show if you want to get in touch.

Thecheapshow at gmail.com. We have a PO box, which I've just realized I haven't pulled up, so bear with me. Eli, say something random whilecom we have a PO box which I've just realised I haven't pulled up so bear with me Eli say something random while I look for our PO box I'll just tell them what my Twitter handle is shall I? oh yeah do that then

that's Eli Snoid E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D and I am at Paul Gannon Show and the Cheap Show Podcast is at thecheapshowpod but what's the PO box?

if people want to send things like sauce or noodles or board games and toys and books and things that I can have or sauce or things for the price games and toys and books and things that I can have. Or sauce. Or things for the price of shite. Pin badges.

It is P.O. Box 1309 Harrow HA19QJ. Cheap Show P.O. Box 1309 Harrow HA19QJ. But all this information is on our website. And if you go to our website, there's also links to our merch page, Tony's Merch Pays, and then physical copies of the cheap show magazine are we going to tell them bits and bobs

are we going to tell them about this special box no that's going to be a very we've got something very special planned that events arranged and we're

just going to get it done and then put it out there and see what happens because even for us it's a it's a mystery all right so we're looking forward to that that'll be in

a few weeks time we reckon other than that I think we're done I think we're done what else do we need to mention eggs all taste the same can i just reiterate eggs eggs eggs is eggs eggs is and both eggs and is our eggs and eggs eggs am our eggs i am eggs oh yeah that's what i wanted to say yeah exactly the egg men what do you think he meant he meant the beatles were an embryonic form of culture that was before its time hadn't yet emerged from the eggs i don't know i just think it's typical john

lennon random shit so that's my opinion oh it's a hot take let's use it to roll out this episode i'm gonna do some strangle play with the worm he is as well he's struggling point dexter what's the safe word maybe you should make it like eyes wide shut and put a froggy mask on put the frog mask on point deexter while I throttle him. You like that? This is the strangest, weirdest mix of eyes wide shut in Toy Story I've ever seen in my life. Oh, ow. You'll get punished for that, Poindexter.

Meanwhile, the Stig's looking on at all nonplussed. The Stig's not happy. Stig's making his getaway in the shopping trolley coming down the road. Beep, beep. Off he goes. Yeah, he can drive it because he's an expert. He's off. Oh, Stig.

What a lot of fun. It's all going crazy this week. So let's say bye-bye for now and see you next time. Bye. Bye-bye for now. Bye, everybody. Thank you.