CheapShow - Ep 242: Operation Soda Pop

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

"You're the Doctor" declared the advert for classic board game "Operation", but this week on CheapShow Paul and Eli are the Doctors instead, and it's not going to end well for poor old Cavity Sam! In a heart pounding "Gannon's Golden Games" segment, the Cheap Chap battle to become the very best at removing small plastic pieces from a toy with a tweezer! It's thrilling stuff. We promise! Meanwhile, around the back of the Willy Wanka's Candy Shop, Juicy Jeremy is waiting for you at the secret Soda Jerk Store. He's got some cheap and tasty new drinks to share and some of them are even quite nice! Willy, however, seems to have revealed a new, disgusting side to his character! With all this going on, it's no surprise that Paul is finally losing his mind. Will Eli behave himself for just one episode? For Paul's sanity, we hope so! See pictures and/or videos for this episode here: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-242-operation-soda-pop And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2021 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2021-the-album MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello everybody, it's Cheap Show, week time, day time, cheap day time, time again. Week is it? Time day. Fucking hell. Cheap Show, week day time. Hello, I'm Eli Silverman. And I am Paul Gannon and welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where we go through the bargain bins, the charity shops and pound lands of Great Britain and bring you back the treasure we find amongst the trash. Could find it in a bazaar. Could find it in a jumble sale. Could find it, like in a bin, actually. You could find it on the trash. Could find it in a bazaar. Could find it in a jumble sale. Could find it, like, in a bin, actually.

You could find it on the floor. Find it in your pants. You could find it in your heart. This is like... You started this intro. Well, should we keep improvising? You could find it up my arse. Up my arse, I say.

You can find it up the arse, the treasure... Fucking hell. The treasure amongst the trash is up my arse, I say. You can find it up the arse, the treasure. You fucking hell. The treasure amongst the trash is up my arse. Is that Irish? Is it meant to be Irish or some kind of... Mate, it's a... Folky thing? If you know, you know.

I don't know. That's why I'm asking. Do you know what I don't know, Paul? Well... What's coming up on the show today? Well... Link? Well, no, we've got to do the intro into the credits sequence, haven't we?

Tell us from the shot dance floor. No, we've got to do the bit where we say, well, the cheap show. And then I bring in the... Oh, it's the pre-handle. Bop, beep, bop, beep. Diddle, diddle, diddle. Bop, beep, bop, beep. Diddle, diddle, diddle.

The cheap show. That one. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So why don't you give me something, anything to get me into that piece of music? I can do it. I can hype you. I'm hyped for the show.

I'm feeling good about it. Are you? I'm feeling my mouth. I am not feeling good about this. You're not feeling good about it. I don't like you. So we're just doing what we can at this point.

No. We're racing towards 250 and part of me wants it all to end. Gotcha. Gotcha. Right? Gotcha. So you've got to hype me up. Bring me back? Gotcha. So you've got to hype me up,

bring me back into the show. You've got to bring me back in. I will. I'm nearly out the door, mate. I mean, if you give me a chance. I'm getting up. I'm getting up. You're not stopping me.

I'm getting up and leaving the show. No, you're not. I will leave. You've got to bring me back in. Hype man. Hype man. Yes. Go on, hype man.

All right, you ready? Hype me. I will. Hype me. I fucking will. Go on then, and your hype begins now. Yes, it's Cheap Show, everybody!

Ooh, look at those levels! They're going to super excitement, max load, chod off! I'm Eli Silverman. It's all about stuff that's cheap, whatever that may be! And here is Paul D-D-D-D-D-D-D gan, gan, ganon. He's the ganon. Whoop. Ganon. Whoop, whoop. Oh.

Oh. Orgasmic electrons. Blow. Fizz a fizz. Frothy. All those words. You can find them here. He's ready.

He's ready. He's ready. I'm ready. Paul, come on! Bye, that's it. Fuck this. No, no. I'm leaving the podcast. You've not hyped me up.

You've done the opposite of hype. Yip. Yip. Yip me. I've yipped you. Yip me. Is that the opposite of hype? Is that the joke you're going to say?

Yip. Yip. I can talk shit too. Welcome to Cheap Show you fucking rotten twat I hate you and your fucking noodle posse people love noodles

it's just a fact of Cheap Show you're gonna have to learn to fucking accept Cheap Show you're gonna have to learn to fucking accept. Cheap Show Off-brand, brand-off, off-brand, brand-off Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap Cheap Show It's the price of shite.

Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheap Show. And I go and I nuzzle. Welcome to Cheap Show. Yes, it's that time of the week again where we look for the treasure. Time of the week again. Yeah, we're getting it now.

Depending of when. You're getting the week time. I'm not. The week time vibe. I'm not. You're getting that week time bug. It's coming up and beating you in the ass. I'm going to say week time.

Everyone's going to see it. All the cool cats down. Fuck me. I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm losing it. You're not. I can't do this. You't do this I'm losing it You're not I can't do this

You can do it This is just This is a wall of sound This is This is radiophonic Tape loops of noise This is just A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A I can't do this I know you can't do it I can't do this Now You need to be normal I will You need to be normal I'm normal

I am a normal person Underneath it's me here Paul No sprogly hoff toffs I won't say sprogly hoff toffs No spangly fachatas I won't say anything like Magruder No don't

Willow Pick Willow's alright I've got no problem with Willow Alright I'll say Willow Unless you say Willow Magruder How about that No Oh Wednesday Charlie Willow Magruder I can got no problem with Willow. Alright, I'll say Willow. Unless you say Willow Magrater. How about that?

No. Oh, Wednesday Charlie, Willow Magrater. See, I can't do this. I can't do this. You can do it. Paul, what have we got coming up on the show? Today, on Cheap Show, Mr. Silverman. We have two segments.

Segment number one. That segment... Shut up. I'm not even saying anything anything that segment will be a trip to the soda jerk store ah nice chunky segment yes the uh froth shop is closed today but we have been allowed to go to uh the froth shop next door you mean the soda jerk the soda jerk sorry yeah we have to go around the back well it's good because that guy willy Wanker, was he? I didn't. Have you heard what he's been getting up to? What? So, I heard that he was caught in the back of a limo, right?

Yeah. With two sheep. Doing what? By who? The police? The police. All they heard was, meh, meh, meh. Right.

As if he was fucking sheep. No, I'm not saying that. No one's saying that that I have not heard bestiality is that what we've got we haven't had a bestiality character yet okay good

and I think Willy Wang is the perfect one to bring in to the idea of defiling animals he's a nasty piece of work he's horrible no he's just got

a quirk and his quirk is being balls deep in livestock okay good so you know I hate this show I can't do it I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can see a meaty Margaret tired with the livestock even though she's dead. It's fine, Paul. Oh, no. It's fine, mate. It is fine.

Part two. So there is, we got a... We got a froth shop. No, soda jerk. Soda jerk, mate. Get it right. Soda jerk.

And then, in part two... Another chunky, chunky segment for the end of the show. We've got a Gannon's Golden Games, where today we're covering a complete Stone Cold board game classic, but a ha-ha-ha with a twist. A twist on a classic. Looking forward to that. Looking forward to that.

Gannon's Golden Games. We mentioned in the past that we discovered this board game when we did one of our charity shop hangout sessions. And we both came out of the British Heart Foundation with a loot bag of goodies. On College Crescent in Swiss Cottage, that charity shop is located. So this comes from that.

It's a good crescent, isn't it? Also, corrections and notifications. I think I mentioned that you don't quote-unquote hear those kind of songs on Now albums such as

the commentators and what was the other one? Kissing With Confidence. Kissing With Confidence is Will Rogers. Will Power. Why do I think he's called Will Rogers?

Because Will Rogers was the Long Lone Ranger. The Long Lone Ranger. The Long Lone Ranger. The Long Ranger. That's the porn name. Long Ranger. And then Rachel E.

Tonto. No, we won't be getting into that. Suck my dick. Bonko. Bonko? Yeah. No, that sounds like a clown. Bonko the Clown and the Long Ranger.

I don't know about you but I want to see that sitcom territory well I'm thinking it's kind of a porn film it's all a porn film isn't it spodge this

splatch that I don't think it's all a porn film veg I want to see you want to see a film called veg what is it

it's vegetables but up fannies right I'm sure they exist. Yeah, bumholes, whatever you like. What were we talking about? What were we talking about? The second segment, which is again, no, we've gone past that.

We've gone past that. Oh, you did corrections. I was doing corrections. I don't think there's anything else to be corrected at this time. We were wrong. You were wrong. They are actually on various Now albums from the time. Which, the kissing with confidence doesn't surprise me.

The commentators does, because I'm pretty sure 19 must have been on a Now album, right? Yes. And it must have been on the same one, because they were released within five months of each other. I've been having a bit of a fucking... Or five weeks of each other they were released. Yeah. I'm having a bit of a lucky streak when it comes to each other they will release yeah i'm having a bit of a lucky streak when it comes to compilation albums because i've got a real kind of if i go to a

charity shop i don't like buying albums by and large unless it's for the show right so now i'll go that could be used however i have a weakness for the now albums so if i ever see the vine because i think they only went up to like i might be wrong on this but i was told that the last vinyl album a vinyl release of a Now album was now 36, which would have been mid-90s? Mid-90s. What, like 93, 94?

It checks out in terms of, you know, when vinyl started to plummet, yes. So whenever I see a Now album in a record store, in a charity shop, I will just grab it because I would like to have

a set of... Because the interesting thing is people go, oh, you've got Spotify and YouTube, what's the point? It's like part of it is the curation of those tracks. Because what Now Albums did that other albums couldn't was they could grab

from all different labels and put them on one. Yeah, but how does that address the Spotify issue? They'll be the same playlist on Spotify, won't it? Because Spotify is if you know what you're looking for, you'll find it, right? Yes. Whereas with a Now Album, it's kind of like you go through and go, oh, I don't remember this. Oh, who sang that?

And it's like, oh, and it gets the neurons going. And I go, oh, I don't remember this. Oh, who sang that? And it's like, oh, oh, and it gets the neurons going. And I go, oh, I remember now. It's like the surprises. But my question is, I understand that, but my question is, aren't the whole Now albums in their original playlist available on Spotify? Yes. So you can make the discovery on Spotify.

True, but the way the playlists work doesn't necessarily mean you're going to get a great listening experience. For instance, not all the Now albums are on there. What happens is they're not released on there. Some will create a playlist and go, on Now 1, there was Phil Collins and Drang Duran. So it's not legit. It's another Spotify shit.

So the only one that has every single Now album from 1 to 106, whatever we're up to now, is just a created playlist in one long order, not broken up. So to go on shuffle means i have to listen to a lot of stuff in the past 10 years i'm like me you want to see how they were originally presented in the context of the year that was the joy of those because they're also snapshots of those six months of that year absolutely yeah and that's no listen paul you don't have to convince me that buying collecting vinyl is a worthwhile pastime yeah uh because i'm mad for it just on that

no that's all we've got time for ladies and gentlemen on this you should mention you picked me up some stuff you spotted one up

in Barnet when we were up there yeah and it is another BBC radiophonic educational record did you not want to save that for a proper

splatter later on I'm just a little teaser on it teaser and it has radiophonic and it is mint condition it's come to the party yeah we'll talk about that a nice music and music thing coming up in the future just a little teaser on it. Teaser. And it has radiophonic and it is mint condition.

It's come to the party. Yeah. We'll talk about that. A nice music and music thing coming up in the future. Tell us from the Dugga Dugga Dance. Dugga Dugga Dance. Have you got one?

Yeah. So I'm DJing, right? Fucking sit in the corner for a bit. Get on with it. Yeah. I was DJing and this lady came up to me and she said... Lovely drink I'm drinking. No, firstly, a bloke came up to me and she said...

Lovely drink I'm drinking. No, firstly, a bloke came up, yeah? To you? Yeah, I'm DJing. Where are you? I'm on the stage DJing. Which one? Camden.

Camden, okay. So I can get an idea in my mind's eye of the situation, right? And he goes, my girlfriend can sing Amy Winehouse. Right. Can she sing Amy Winehouse? Now, she wants to sing Amy Winehouse. Right. Can she sing Amy Winehouse? Now, she wants to sing Amy Winehouse. Amplified now. Now, at this point, did you say,

does she just want to go on stage and go, Amy Winehouse? No, I just went, no, that's not happening. And then I think the bouncer came up and asked me. What, like, can you let this woman sing? And what are you meant to do? Provide a karaoke backing track out of the blue for her? In no way a remit.

The sign to the place doesn't say karaoke. This is not a rocky okey. Ask the DJ about karaoke. Oh, do you reckon you can sing like some fucking, frankly overrated fucking singer? Oh.

I hate all this fucking Winehouse. Oh. Oh. She was a good singer, right? She was a good singer. Yeah. But in terms of originality, not, you know. Some people think she is a genius and helped redefine music of the early 2000s.

She defined that music. I just don't care. But I don't know. I think she's slightly overrated. Right. That's all I'm saying. And not a bad singer, but not, not, just slightly overrated. That's all.

And then the only other that wasn't very funny but it was just sort of like yeah oh was that it that was the thing that was it but also one other thing

did she never did she come up herself and say oh go on no she started trying to lie down on the stage lie down on the stage yeah their antics are up

there was a guy the other day I wish we had lockdown back they love getting on as I might have said before they love to get on the stage where there's mics waiting for when

the live music is on and see if they go and get behind them and see if they work you know what I mean and sometimes the sound guy will leave them on and so it does work

and then that's and what will they say is like and then everyone's like and the bouncer has to come back you know what I mean it's always when the bouncer

goes away I think if they go on stage and they do that and they're caught and the bouncer has to come and get them the bouncer has to come back. You know what I mean? It's always when the bouncer goes away. I think if they go on stage and they do that and they're caught and the bouncer has to come and get them, the bouncer is allowed to knuckle point them in the back of the head. That's old school and not right. And make a real example of people in front of all the audience and no one else fucking does it again. There was a guy the other day and he did it on one

and I just thought, oh, the bouncer will come. And then he didn't. And then he would start moving along. To all the mics. Checking all the mics. And he got to the second one i thought i'm gonna have to oh well you stepped up yeah yeah i tapped on the shoulder went get off the stage do you know i mean yeah what did he go look yeah he gave me a look like you just give him a look like come on don't be a dick yeah yeah like this isn't cool yeah it's really uncool actually he probably looked around when oh danny devito yes that's the other thing I got called Danny DeVito

the other day. Some rude woman. I'm waiting for Pavagrotti to come out of the woodwork. Pavagrotti. Now you'd have to high five him that if they did that.

All right, mate. All right, Pavagrotti. Yay. No, that's good. It's almost like when someone shouted at me and my mate, tell your dad to get a haircut.

Right. Yeah. Referring to you. Well, that's why it's a good insult, isn't it? Yeah. Who is he referring to? Who's the dad who needs a haircut? Right. Yeah. Referring to you. Well, that's why it's a good insult, isn't it? Yeah. Who is he referring to? Who's the dad who needs a haircut?

Well, you're both hairy men. Yes. Beards. Yes. Long hair. Yes. Ugly people. Right.

So some woman I'm walking past goes, Daddy DeVito. Daddy DeVito in my face. What am I, you know, would it be all right for me to go, oh, someone who's slightly overweight and just a bit of shit. You know what I mean? Peggy from Heidi High. Would it be be alright for me to go oh someone is slightly overweight and just a bit of shit you know what I mean Peggy from Heidi High

would it be alright for me to say that no not I'm not having a go at women in general but at all

no who would you like to be called if someone came up to you or you look like I wouldn't like anyone I don't think that's inappropriate

Dom DeLuise Dom DeLuise like cannonball era Dom DeLuise Dennis Roussos? Like Cannonball era Dom DeLuise? Dennis Roussos. Dennis Roussos? I want to dress up as Dennis Roussos. Why?

I told Biffo that if we ever do Digi Series 2. I can do Dennis Roussos. No, we'll do... Well, we could. What I was thinking, Zardoz. Sean Connery. I want to do that with all my... Do you know, I was watching an episode of Community last night.

Yeah. Starburns. You know Starburns? Starburns, yeah. He does it in one of them. What episode is that? It's the one where they have a new app. They're stillburns. You know Starburns? Starburns, yeah. He does it in one of them. What episode is that? It's the one where they have a new app.

Oh, it's a friend app? Piloting the friend app and it turns into... That's got Tim Erickson as well. Yes. Yeah. All right. That's all right, that one.

I want to do Zardoz anyway, whether or not, but I'm not the first. Side note, everyone. If you like Digi Series 1 and you want to see Digi Series 2, keep your eye on social media. It might be happening.

I think it is happening. I think we are going to launch the Kickstarter. The only other... Also, quick. There's a show see Digi Series 2, keep your eye on social media. It might be happening. I think it is happening. I think we are going to launch the Kickstarter. The only other... Also, quick, there's a show, Digi Live, on December 4th at Harrow Art Centre. December? September. September 4th.

You're the worst with dates, you know that. You've got a brain sewage. All the dates go into your brain sewer and slough out your mouth. Various weird dates. You know this is true as well. Can I just get this fact out and then we can move on? Well, when is it then?

It is the 4th of September, Saturday. Is it Saturday the 4th? Yes. So, DigiLive, but there's still tickets available, I think. But, if you want to see Cheap Show Live, you're going to get your taste there, because we're both in it and we've got a little Cheap Show segment. A chunky segment? We've got a nice chunky segment. Is it Rotonde? I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be a great show.

Is it going to be a... If you twanged the segment, would it go... No I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be a great show. We've got some lovely... If you twanged the segment, would it go... No, if you twanged it, it'd be like a tuning fork, one of those deep, rich ones. Like that. That's good. No, don't whoa, whoa. No whoa, whoa.

Listen, we were doing well then. We were having a normal chat. Johnny used to work on the dock. Oh, good, yeah, good. Susie's been on strike. I might start tagging that, Pavagrotti. Pavagrotti. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. The only other thing that happened whilst we were DJing, I was DJing, was I knew the night finished at three. At 2.30, this little... This bouncer guy. Bouncer guy. It was all getting all chummy with me early on

chummy chummy it's 27 minutes past two yes and I know we go to three I'm doing the last hour yeah and he comes over

and goes make that your last one mate make that one oh and it's like who are you who are you to tell me when to stop

and also and I was like no it goes till three and he's like oh I'll have to ask someone and then he didn't talk to me but again he just came back

and just stood there because he probably went can we finish this and someone went no he didn't talk to me but again he just came back and just stood there because he probably went can we finish this and someone went no we finish at three dickhead but apparently there had been some confusion

with DJs leaving early well if you're if you were if you're a bit less confident in your job or a bit less experienced you might go oh alright

you know what I mean yeah but I don't know or I will stop you know because the bounce is sick because then you get pissed the bar staff would fucking tell you yeah it would be a disaster

like everyone would start going, when is it night shot? It's like when the music cut out once. Yeah. Something happened with the amp or something and it cut to like... Absolute nothing.

Not nothing, but just a really low level. So the music was still going, but it went down to a really low level. Yeah. And people couldn't understand it in their brains

what had happened, but the excitement had gone out. So they kept coming up and going, when is it closing? Like a vacuum of it. They kept coming up and going, when is this place vacuum of it kept coming up and going when is this place closing loads of them when is it closing where am i yeah what day of man help us week time day now week time day now is that everything that's everything sorry i'm sorry i feel like my mouth has been my mouth has been

making lots of noises in between the words flammy noises noises. Yes. And I wanted to apologise for that. I'll probably edit a lot of that out and it will take me a lot of my evening to do so. So don't worry about it. Don't you ever fucking worry about it. Well, you want me to come over while you're editing and just go, yeah, well done, mate. Yeah, that would be nice.

That would be nice. Go, yes, you're doing great here. Yeah. All right, well. All right. Let's just move on let's move on and now paul oh we're just walking down the road going to the soda jerk we're going to the soda joke now we just go around the back we don't go in the front door because of the the willy wanker

situation well you couldn't go through anywhere it's got police tape all over it We don't go in the front door because of the Willy Wanker situation. Well, he couldn't go through anywhere. It's got police tape all over it. I don't know what's been going on, but there's police tape at the front of it right now. So we go around the soda jug, you know, there's that door at the back. What's that?

Hey, boys. Come here. I think that's Willy Wanker, Paul. Come here. Shh. I'm not here. Look, lads. You didn't see me here, right?

What's happening with the froth shop, Mr. Wanker? I haven't got time for that right now. I've just got to... You didn't... What are you doing? What's happening with the froth shop, Mr Wanker? I haven't got time for that right now. I've just got to... You didn't... What are you doing here? I think the pigs are fucking...

The po-po are on my fucking back. That's cray-cray, man. Po-po. Right, fuck off then. We've got to go and... Anyway, I'm just saying, if anyone asks, you didn't fucking see me, right?

Now, go round the back if you want, but fucking don't come in the front. Come on now, Bertie. I think he's fucking that cow paw that cow rolled its eyes at me right no but we know look juicy jeremy's expecting us and the last time you weren't very you weren't very um nice to him okay he gives me a vibe this whole stream is weird he's just he's just a soda jerk guy you know he's into the soda and giving it to young men giving okay i'm losing it okay come on stop losing it it's fine you have to go

through this improvisation and it's my new character. So come on. I've got to remember the voice. All right. We'll go round here, and he's in there. All right. Knock on the door. That's because we know we're walking. All right. We're not walking very far, though,

because we've just been round the front. Here we go. Oh, hello. Who's that? Are those my guests? Are you fellas here about the Saudi jerky? I can't speak to him. I just can't.

There's something weird about him. Could you just speak to him for a minute, please? Yes, hello. It's Mr. Paul and Mr. Eli. We're here to do more... Oh, hello there. Door sound effect opening. Are you going to be here for the whole thing?

Are you going to be here for the whole thing? Are you going to be here for the whole segment? Am I what? I feel like we've met before. That's all. It's weird. We've met before. Yeah. Now, are you interested in the sodies? Hand jobs. Hand jobs? Did you just say,

am I interested in a hand job? No, sodie jerk. I like the sodies. I like the grape sodie. I like the old sody. I like the old timey old. There used to be a sody round my neighbourhood. It was called Jallapy Grease. Old fizzy Jallapy Grease. They used

to call it that. Now you come in, I'll tell I've got stuff to tell you young men about the sody jerk. Now... God, I'm giving this character everything I've got. Come on, Paul. Come on. We have to sit down. Alright, I'm coming in. You sit your little behind...

Door sound effect. You sit there right on the Sody Jerk bar. I'm Juicy Jeremy, by the way. I run this old dump. Oh, God. Now, are you ready to taste some interesting soda pops, young man? Yes.

Come on. I'll just go out here. They're all here. Just let your friend Eli distribute them. I'll go on over there. I'm working on a new soda. Do you make your own drinks? Oh, yeah.

Out of? Sugar. And? Water. And any interesting fruit flavors? Special flavors, young man. Yes. Special flavours.

Now, we all know where this could go, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. I don't know what you're talking about. I've been accredited by the Board of Soda Pop Hygiene. Here are my stars and here's my badge. No, no, fair enough. She's got a certificate. Soda Pop Hygiene. I don't know what you're implying. Anyway,

I'm going over here to the corner. You call me. You know what I want to hear? Young fella. What? After you've tasted all these soda pops, I want to hear your scores. Okay. I want to see what, because I'm selling soda pop all day long. I've been working in the soda pop

industry my whole life, okay, and I need to know about the soda pop viewer I'm tapping my wrist in a watch style fashion thank you juicy thank you just

Jeremy okay he's left us these drinks Paul and we're going to taste a few of these here well I'm looking forward to the

drinking selection what have you got for us on the cheap and cheerful soda jerk segment of cheap show now let's go for this first it's a

manzana Postobon. Right. First of all, where'd you get it? Second of all, how much? Third of all, it looks like a weak cherryade. It's very pink, isn't it? And translucent. Yeah.

And it's in a sort of water, plastic water bottle. Is it weird that I'll look at that? And I already know it's going to have a weak flavor. You think it will? You don't know that for sure. No, I know, Paul. Now, Postobon. Have a look, Paul.

See if you can decipher anything from there. These were all bought from the Dalston supermarket on Dalston Kingsland Road. It's, oh, hang on. It's an apple-flavoured soft drink with sugar

and sweeteners, but it's, but it is red. Or, well, like, pink. Pink, yeah. You'd expect it to be cherry-flavoured. And yet,

orange screw cap. But let's, shall we taste, where is it from, I want to know? Look up Manzana. It's probably better, isn screw cap. But let's show you where is it from I want to know. Look up Manzana. It's probably better isn't it?

Because that's the company. Look up Manzana. Look up a man's what? It's Anna. These are all from this place in Dalston and they're all

around a quid or even less. So not too expensive but they've got the best selection of soft drinks I've ever seen. International soft drinks. Yes. They've got international but they've got the best selection of soft drinks I've ever seen. International soft drinks.

Yes, they've got international, but they've got all the flavours of everything and the unusual flavours that you don't see. And as we've discussed on this segment before, Paul, the whole world of confectionery or sort of soft drinks, flavoured food products has gone mad in recent years in terms of what's available. Well, it's also like the flavour doesn't need to necessarily match the colour of the drink, which is in itself a gimmick, and vice versa. Yeah, but they could have done it back when they had Tab,

which was just a gimmicky cola, clear cola. Do you see what I mean? It was a diet cola, wasn't it? That was also see-through. Yes. Yeah, Posterbon looks like you might be right. Sorry, I stand corrected. I think Posterbon is the name.

And the Manzana is a type of apple. I've just remembered a Manzana apple. I'm sure I've heard that before. It's a type of red apple. Yeah. So yeah, French. I don't know. I don't care.

Let's just move on. Is it French? No, it's not. I was joking about French. I think it's French. My fucking hell, my brain just stopped. Stop saying French. Stop saying French.

Columbia. Yeah. Columbia makes more sense. That makes sense because I've seen it a lot more in... It's Colombian. my fucking hell my brain just stopped me stop saying french stop saying french columbia yeah columbia makes that makes sense because i've seen it a lot more in um it's columbian in sort of south american themed uh yeah places in florida yeah in they've got it right come on then yeah come on oh manzana okay should we taste this yes you think You think it's going to have a weak flavour? I don't know, but now that... Because when I saw it, I initially thought, oh, is it a cherryade or something? But now, now that I know it's apple, I'm wondering if it's going to be like a kind of sour,

kind of Granny Smith's kind of apple. It's got a nice appley huff. I can smell even from here. Oh, what's happening? All right, I'm going to have a huff myself of this fizzy drink. It's an attractive looking. It's got a very kind of Granny Smith's flavour to it. It's got a real apple smell, doesn't it?

It's a Granny Smith's kind of apple. Is it that artificial sort of sour apple sort of? It's got notes of the artificial, but actually... It's not overpowering, is it? It's a bit more subtle. Give it a taste. It's actually a bit more subtle. Yeah.

And yeah, it doesn't taste like I thought it was going to. It's actually strangely not cherry-like, but it's almost strawberry-like. Yeah. It's very sweet. What's that strangely, not cherry-like, but it's almost strawberry-like. Yeah. It's very sweet. What's that apple, like a Lady Red or something it's called? It's like that kind of.

It smells of a Granny Smith's, the tart kind of apple thing. There's not much tartness. There's not much tartness on the actual... It's incredibly sweet. It's incredibly sweet. But quite a strong sweetness. It's not weak tasting, is it?

Like you thought. And nowhere near as artificial as I thought it was going to be. It's actually a nice, refreshing, appley drink. And unusual in that it doesn't lean on the sour apple. What about the fizz quotient? Not that fizzy. Fine, not that fizzy, but it's not that kind of fizzy drink.

Appletizer reminds me of a bit as well. But even Appletizer is slightly more kind of sharp. No, Appletizer is more that sort of... Like cider. Apple from concentrate flavor. Slightly scrumpy-ish. Yes. Whereas this is more that sort of... Like cider. Apple from concentrate flavour. Slightly scrumpy-ish. Yes. Whereas this is more kind of like summer red apples. It has none of that fermented apple taste, this,

does it? Red apple is not a flavour you get a lot of in soft drinks. It's always sour apple, green apple. Now, we're going to get your score from that afterwards. Why can't I do it now? Because JC Jeremy has to hear it. Can't I repeat it back to him later? You won't though, will you, Paul? You'll misbehave. Yeah, but it's you. It's just a character. It can't I do it now? Because JC Jeremy has to hear it. Can't I repeat it back to him later?

You won't though, will you, Paul? You'll misbehave. Yeah, but it's you. It's just a character. It doesn't matter. Let me give you my answer now.

Four out of five drips. You liked it then, did you? Four out of five drips. That's how we're rating it. No, pumps. No, not pumps.

Soda pumps. I'm going to bring him over. It's four pumps out of five. Tell me at the end, young fellow, I'm going to bring him over if you keep four pumps out of five. Tell me at the end, young fellow, I'm doing a crossword. He's doing a crossword now, so we'll talk to him at the end.

Now... Juicy Jeremy gone. I've just got to use his office. Oh, Mr. Wanker, please, we're trying to do a segment. It won't be five minutes. I've got to go in office. I'm not happy about this, Paul. I'll be two fucking minutes. I don't know what he's up to.

He's up to no good, obviously. I think he's fucking... Why is he doing it in the office? Maybe it's a different cat. The cat doesn't sound like Bertie. Oh, it's a chicken. Bark, bark, bark. Bark, bark, bark.

Can Paul do any other animals reliably and the pig goes what does the pig go what noise does the thank you there's a pig what about right i'm out you know oh no we're actually still in the same continent actually for this next drink paul we're staying on the same continent i believe believe, because I think this is from the... Jamaica's. Jamaica or the Caribbean somewhere. Okay. Again, another weak-looking drink.

Oh, very, very weak-looking. It's very yellow. It's like if you're well-hydrated and took a wee. I took a lovely wee. But you'd be,

you know, nice hydrated, not like you're hungover. Not your swamp piss. And it's like, you know... It's got like swirls. It's like a weird, weird swirls on it. It's like a slime mould. It's... Not your swamp piss. And it's like, you know, it's got like swirls. It's splodging, yeah, like the blob. You know, there's all

the weird swirls on it. It's like a slime mould. It's going up the loo. It's like when you put like, I don't know, custard in a jelly. It's that kind of... Oh, yeah.

If you squirted some custard into a jelly... Oh. A jelly egg. Yeah, egg. Egg. I don't know. Now, this is...

Solo is the brand. Yes. Hair J is the drink. Right. Pear J is the drink. Right. Do you know anything else about it? Sparkling juice drink, it says. Any flavour? 22% real juice.

What juice? Pasteurised. There's a lot of information here. Yeah, but what kind of juice is it? Pear. Pear? Yeah, Pear J. Again, I thought it was going to be a lemon drink.

It's a very pale pear. So this, I reckon this might taste reasonably similar to the last. Yeah. Because pear has this weird kind of flavour to it. And the only way I could describe it is like smoky apple. It's a, yeah. Do you know what I'm getting at? It's a smokier apple, yeah.

You know what I mean? It's got that weird fuzz scent flavour thing that it has. It's very hard to describe what the difference in the flavour is between pear and apple, but there is one, isn't there? But it's like, with a pear, you've got this kind of

almost almondy cream sodary aftertaste. I don't know, it's a strange beast. It's more woody, almost. Yeah, it's a weird... Is it woodier, almost? I don't like pears.

Yeah, because they're woody, it's earthy. They're just a bit earthy. Is it a bit more earthy than an apple? A little bit, but it's also like, I don't enjoy the texture

of it, weirdly. Okay, so you're not going to like this one, probably bit, but it's also like I don't enjoy the texture of it, weirdly. Okay, so you're not going to like this one, probably. Let's see. Well, I don't know. I'm going to pop it open, Paul. One of millions of drinks we've got back here in the soda joke chamber. Because he sources them from all around the world, doesn't he? As well as making his own.

All right, let me have a hoof. I'm thinking of a specific item this smells of. Oh, that would be good. I'll have a sniff. Let's see if you guess. The hoof commences. What does it smell like? Well, it kind of smells like a very weak cider.

Like a very, very weak, slightly overly sweet, strong bow. Yeah. Oh, it went up my nose. Are you okay? Paul. Oh. I was sniffing it yeah

that was one of the worst noises I've heard you make oh my eyes hurt and now the drink although I've kind of tasted it but it's also had a

slight pear drops that's what I thought it smelled like yes you know what I mean it's that chemical or whatever

similar but it doesn't have a pear drops taste. Not strongly. It's a pear taste. It's all right. Yeah, I quite like that. Similar level of sweetness, you're right, to the Poster Bon Manzana.

That's a lot better than I thought it was going to be. It doesn't have that pear flavouring that kind of puts me off. Not the smokiness that you were talking about. Whatever that phrase is. It's quite nice, quite acidic. That's alright. I like that better. Refreshing. I like that better than the Manzana. Well, I would probably give it a

four as well, to be fair. I'd go higher with that one. Well, then five. I'll go higher. I would go higher. When you say I'll go higher, I'll say five. I don't know. It might be 4.75. No, I know. What I'm saying is, when you say I'll go higher, just say, I'll say five. Well, I don't know. It might be 4.75.

No, we're not doing points. Well, I don't care. I'm not doing this. I'm administrating this. So your vote's me nothing. Yeah. It's you. He wants to hear it about you.

I just want to hear that poor young man's opinion. Fucking hell, is he still here? You fucking told me he was gone. Who's that behind you? Come on, let's get out of here. Is that that weirdo Wanker? I'm going to restrain him. Get this livestock out of my house.

Come on, get out of here. Get the livestock away from the Coke syrup. Get in the back of the van. Come on, come on. Get these animals out of here. I told you, Mr. Wanker. Oh, keep the horse, actually. I use an extract from its urine.

You won't want it when I'm done with it. Alright then, I believe that. It'll be packed up with fucking spunk. Is he gone now? I hope so, yeah. Will you keep on going guys? I want to hear the... Is he turning into Mickey Mouse? No.

He's turning into Mickey Mouse. Hello Pluto. I'll just be over here. His voice is completely different now. I know I shouldn't judge. I'll just be over here. Oh, good. He's over there now. Yeah. It's only just the excitement raised his voice a pitch or two. That was what the problem

was. Now, let's move away to something that is North American. Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Any opinions on that? Frostbite. This is a... That tells me nothing. Subcategory.

Mate, wasn't there a drink in the 90s that when you tasted it, it was meant to taste colder than it was? Am I imagining this? Like, there was a drink that was... Was it Mountain Dew? It was like a frost drink. When you drank it,

it was like the gimmick was it was like colder in your mouth. I do not recall that. All right, please, if you're listening to this and you care and you haven't given up on us, please get in touch on Twitter and remind me. Because I don't want to do the research right now and spoil the fun.

But I'm sure there's a drink that was like a fake frost effect when you drank it. Well, this would be, perhaps this is a descendant of that. But this is, as far as I know, is just a sub-flavour of Mountain Dew. Right, does it say what flavour it actually is on it? as I know, is just a sub flavour of Mountain Dew. Right. Does it say what flavour it actually is on it?

Because Frostbite is like when you name Doritos stuff. It's naturally flavoured dew. Right. So this is their more sort of frosty version. What would that say in terms of flavour?

What is normal Mountain Dew? It's just like lime, lemon, fruit. It's this kind of radioactive yellow fizz. Have you enjoyed normal? My mum fucking loves Mountain Dew. I find it sickly. It's extremely sugary radioactive yellow fizz. Have you enjoyed normal? My mum fucking loves Mountain Dew. I find it sickly. It's extremely sugary, isn't it?

It's got the sickliness of Sunny D with the kind of Lucozade medicine-y energy drink flavour. It's like, nah, mate. It's big here in Britain now, but it only came over a few years ago, didn't it? Mountain Dew. I think because a lot of shops were importing it. And is it owned by Coke?

Probably, or Pepsi. Pepsi. Okay. Alright, let's crack it open. Blue Tin, Mountain Dew. What colour do you think it'll be? Blue? Yeah. You're right. Is it? But it doesn't say what flavour it is. Is that going to be bubblegum? Or it could be blue raspberry. What's the half saying?

I have no idea Really? Just generic I can't It's ocean spray It's kind of got a It's got a sort of ocean spray

thing going on Is it just a shark on the thing? It's a The can depicts a shark coming out of the ice in the snowy frostbite

which isn't realistic Oh god yeah That's pure artificial That's so artificially smelling isn't it? It's like I can't place smelling isn't it it's like I can't place it I recognise it

it's like cleaning fluid with sort of Orangina or something yeah do you know what I mean alright well let's sup it and find out

I don't know lemony fruity lemony lemony very artificial it tastes just like Mountain Dew no it doesn't taste

like Mountain Dew to me really what's the difference it's a very similar flavor Mountain Dew is more kind of lime

lemon and lime isn't it it's more of a citrus thing. Whereas this, I mean, this is citrus, but this is kind of like, yeah, like a cross between toilet duck and vim. Yeah. I don't know.

God, that's unpleasant. That's like for hardcore soda lovers, isn't it? Like for real hardcore. What do you get out of this flavour? It's just pure sugar delivery system. How is this refreshing? I don't get it. Does it feel quite cold?

Am I having that cold effect? Is there that cold effect that you were talking about? Well, you had it in the fridge. All the drinks are cold, but I don't think... All right. What score does the Mountain Dew Frostbite get? Well, here's the thing. It's not unpleasant in terms of, ugh, spit it out,

but it's unsatisfying. It's not like a refreshing drink. I don't find it, yes. It's too syrupy. Yeah. It's tooatisfying it's not like a refreshing drink because it's too kind i don't find it yes it's too syrupy yeah it's too sugary it's like yeah but it does have some of that sort of acidic bite that they put in coke or you know that acid it's got a little bit of that cola aftertaste oh is it after the pear jay where the balance between the sweetness and the bite of that acidic element was really nice to balance yeah pear j, Jay. In that, it's not... Is that cola? Like, taste it again.

Now I've told you it's cola. Drink it again and see if you think it's cola. Because I'm beginning to think it's some kind of like edgy blue cola or something. It's closer to sort of Dr. Pepper, isn't it?

Something like that. No, because Dr. Pepper's got those cherry notes. I'm going to try and do a mind mash. Mind mash. Oh, have a drink of that lovely Coca-Cola I've just poured from the freezer.

I'm just not trying to look at it. Don't look at it. You still need to put it in your mouth. Just because you're not thinking about it doesn't mean you can't work your body. Lovely Cola. Yeah, it is close. It's got a slight... It's made by PepsiCo.

It's got a slight minty? Yeah. No, I don't know. It's strange. It's unsatisfying is what it is. No, I don't know. It's strange. It's unsatisfying is what it is. I don't like it. No. Again, in comparison to the Pear Jay, it just seems very vulgar and brutal.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's also similar to, remember, was it Blue Pepsi? It kind of feels like it's a bit like Blue Pepsi. Was there a Blue Pepsi? Yeah, didn't we do it on Digitizer? I've never heard of Blue Pepsi. Yeah, I think Biffo and I did it on Digitizer

when we did all those blue foods. Moving on. What's the score of two? Here we go. Faygo, which we tasted before. Is this our last one? No. We've got one more.

Oh, here we go. After this. Right. We've tried Faygo Red Pop. All right. Come on. Fuck it up. Paul, we've tried Faygo Red Pop.

Faygo is all over this import soft drink market. Where's Faygo from again? Can't remember. Great stuff. But anyway, we tried their Red Pop. We weren't very particularly impressed. It was all right. But again, it had that Mountain Dew effect.

We had the Red Pop. I can say that again. Yeah. This is Moon Mist. And it says, Paul, on this green can. Moon Mist. What does it say there? With a real kick. What do you think what does it say there with a real kick

what do you think it's talking about probably a lemon kick citrusy or it's got petrol in it or something or booze

I was thinking but it's not no it would say about the level of alcohol in it even like shit shandy has to say it's got 0.2% alcohol in it

this looks a lot more like Mountain Dew funnily enough doesn't it? It's green and slightly kind of green. Green and cloudy. I can't quite place it.

It's herby. It's fruity and herby. Oh, very citrusy. Oh, I like that. I like that. But again, it's got tones of... Oh, it's got a citrus sort of melon. Yeah, but it's got tones.

I've seen tones a lot today. But it's got elements of drain cleaner to it as well, to be fair. It just reminds me of being in America on a water slide and having a soda. No, not satisfying. Sorry, that's my judgment. I've just had a sip. No. God, the smell is much better than the taste.

The taste is all... It just kind of disappears quickly. Nothing. Oh, that's the worst we've had. It's there, but it goes very quickly. It's dead on the tongue as soon as it... Just sweetness is all I get. It's like grapes. Maybe that's what it is. It's like a grapey kind of quickly. It's dead on the tongue as soon as it... Just sweetness is all I get. It's like grapes.

Maybe that's what it is. It's like a grapey kind of thing. Yeah, I love the smell. There's a smell thing I love there. It smells all right, but again, you know... What's your score for that? Oh, two again, I think. In fact, I'd probably prefer the Mountain Dew

just because it's odd. I'd rather have a puzzle in my mouth than a flat question. Yeah, there's just nothing. That's the worst so far for me. And finally, finally on our packed have a puzzle in my mouth than a flat question. Yeah, there's just nothing. That's the worst so far for me. And finally, finally on our packed

soda jerk segments. You boys alright? You enjoying the soda? Just one more to go. Oh, good. Okay, now, he seems happy. Yeah, no worries.

Thanks for being polite to him, by the way. I still think there's something off with him. The last one we're having is a sorrel fizz. Weird, I've read that as squirrel fizz.

I don't know why. That's a different thing altogether. A fucking, oh're having is a sorrel fizz. Weird, I've read that as squirrel fizz. I don't know why. That's a different thing altogether. A fucking, oh, so lonely I had a squirrel fizz in my bedroom. It's when you jack

off a squirrel. Someone say explore. No. Willy Wanker, you go back in. I forgot my keys. I got it up.

Found them. Great sound effect, Paul. Now. Oh, I know. Why does he keep coming back? Well, I don't know what he's up to. All I was saying is about jacking off a squirrel into my mouth.

Wait up, what's this? Shut up, Dennis! Jacking off a squirrel? Yeah, kinky boy. I know your real name. I've got a club. Do you want to join it? No.

Found me keys. Sorrel. What do you know of sorrel, Paul? Nothing at all. It is a herb, I believe. Oh, right. Yeah, I've had it Paul nothing at all it is a herb I believe oh right yeah I've had it in soup so it is something

what kind of herb are we talking like a rosemary no it's like a mint minty in that sort of area so like in a way

licorice or something I think it can be used for savoury and mint can be used savoury and sweet yeah it's true

it's in that sort of realm you know what? I don't know why I've never thought about that before, but it's true. How you can have like mint on a roast dinner, but also in a lovely, nice, cold drink. It's sort of tamarind. No, I can't work with tamarind.

I know you can't. I can't work with tamarind. There's a lot of flavours that work both ways. Tamarind gives me wind. I had some soup in a Chinese restaurant which had a lot of sorrel in, like fresh sorrel, green. It's a greener.

I like that. All right, so it looks... Oh, nice,rel in. Like fresh sorrel. Green. It's green. I like that. All right. So it looks. Oh, nice, rich red. The same. Yeah. Blood red. The same shade as the poster born manzana, but much deeper.

No, darker. It's nice. I like the colour. Dark, see-through red. Right. Always gives me a laugh. Have a smell of that. Here we go.

It's snuffling time. What season does it remind you of? Christmas? Yeah. Yeah. It's cinnamony, isn't it? It's clovey. Clovey, cinnamony isn't it it's clovey clovey cinnamony kind of mulled whiny yeah that's

how queer that's the sorrel it's almost dusty do you know I mean sort of musty musty that's the word do you know I mean musty yeah musky sort of a bit right here we go if you know sorrel you know and I'm

very sad and I know sorrel should we taste this sorrel is the hardest word to say so fuck off how dare you Sorrel, you know, and I'm very sad and I know Sorrel. Shall we taste this? Sorrel is the hardest word to say. Fuck off. How dare you? How dare you? What? Judge my jokes.

Right, shall we taste this? Because I've had quite a lot of solid pops. Weird mix, waves of weird flavours. It is like someone did a big cherry fart in my mouth. It's a particular flavour and I'm not sure I'm that into it. Could this mix with something? It's got a bit of, what's that drink? Cambino, what is it?

The martini. Campari. Campari. Bit of bitter orange to it. Yeah, a little bit of that. Yeah, I know you're right. It could actually be an ingredient in some of those Italian ones that we tasted. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? It's that realm. It's more herby. It's much more spice of a herby spice it's hang on i'm gonna give another go i believe this is jamaican by the way i think that's where they they like their um sorrel drinks it's all right it's a little bit better than the two we've just had it's not for me i mean it's it's more legit isn't it it's more like an actual thing i mean the worst for me once you get it's got a weird thing

where you get a warmth kind of of cherry at the beginning then a clovey middle and at the end you get the kind of almost dr peppery aftertaste yeah it drops off at the end for me it's a flat finish there's a flat finish on the sorrel don't you think uh yeah yes i'll give you that more going on at the front and then it yeah i prefer it to the the two we've had before i prefer it to the mountain dew and prefer it to the fago i definitely prefer it to the to both of those actually i have to agree so your top one oh mate again just to remind you we had the manzana posterbon four points oh i'll listen out oh yeah come in come in because we've got to wrap this up how are my young fellas doing we're all right uh what's your name jeremy. Juicy Jeremy. Can I call you JJ? Call me

what you like, boy. JJ. So that first one, the Montabontabelly. Oh, it's a very good drink. I gave that. How'd you like that soda pop, boy? Four. Four out of five. What did we say? Pumps. Pumps of soda syrup.

I like to pump it. And next, what did you have? We had the bottle. The solo pair of Jane. Now that's a very popular type of soda pop. I can't remember what I said about it. I think I said four,

so another four for that. I liked it. Yeah. Great. What else did we have? Empty and Jew. Empty and Jew. Empty and Jew frostbite.

You're lovely. I will give that What did you think of that, young fella? Two. Oh, that's not a very good score. I didn't like that so much. I wouldn't restock that one, Mr. JJ.

Oh, maybe I won't. You know, it doesn't sell that good. A lot of people said there's side effects. Oh, now then you had side effects. What kind of side effects? Frozen wee-wee. Comes out frozen. Never seen such a effects? Frozen wee-wee. Comes out frozen. Never seen such a thing.

That's a terrifying thought. Yeah. Because then wouldn't it... If the pee came out frozen, wouldn't it get frozen up the reef threat? Slightly. And freeze all the pee inside, making a big lollipop of piss inside my body.

Basically, that's what happens in the worst cases. Are you telling me by drinking Mountain Dew I could make myself an innards lollipop of piss? Yeah. Well. It probably won't happen. You only had a little taste, young fella. Alright, okay. We're moving on. Then you had Faygo Moon Mist with a real

kick. Did you hit? Did you get the kick? Two. Two. Two. Move it on. You didn't like that one? Fuck me. Move it on. Finally, you had the Sorrow Fizz. Three. Three. I actually quite like that one? Fuck me, move it on. Finally, you had the sorrow food. Three. Three, I actually quite like that, to some extent, weirdly. You young men can come round any time to drink the soda, jerk. I'm Juicy Jeremy. I'm going to work in the lab.

Bye. Right, well, thank you. Come on, Nicole. Hang on. It's very cold in my belly. It's the frostbite, yeah. Oh, my belly balls. That's the bite.

You're getting the bite, yeah. My belly balls. People get addicted to that. My belly balls. Should we go out? Should we go out? You're going to have to warm it. We could just go next door.

There's lots of livestock. You're going to have to. You know what? I could get some kind of fucking chicken to lick inside your meters to fucking melt the... I'm freezing up my book.

Ah, my bladder. Oh. Oh. Oh, I'm acting. I'm very much acting oh oh I'm acting I'm very much acting ah ah oh

and scene I've got nothing to give other than that come on shall we just end the segment go to the fucking sound effect right here's the here's the sound effect

just press the button no I won't now fine I'll do I can do a bit go on you can't ah I can do a bit. Go on.

It's Ganon's Golden Games, you know, with diction. That's how you say it. Ganon's Golden Games, the segment of the show where I pull out something impressive from my storage unit. That's what I said. And we play it for game. It's a board game, usually. Because I've got a bit of a problem with board games and I've got storage for them now.

Yes, you've promised, put it on record here. I'm going to take some of them with me today. That he's been left here for over a year. Mate, I shouldn't have had that drink in the break. Why? I'm feeling a wibbly-wibbly. What did you have? Another beer? Yeah. Just a wibbly-wibbly. What did you have? Another beer? Yeah. Just a wibbly-wibbly one.

I'm going to be very professional, and I'm not going to drink until we do the Patreon bit. Well, yes. Anyway, so... Skip to the end. It's Gannon's Golden Games. And today we are playing, kind of playing, a classic. We're playing a spin on a classic.

Because today we're going to be playing Operation, which I don't believe we've spoken about on the show so far. Okay, let's operate. Operate. Operate. Where's the dog? It's Operation, the Wacky Doctors game, where you're the Wacky Doctor.

Batteries not included. Oh, you blew it. My turn. Take out a spare ribs for $100. It takes a steady hand because if you touch the side... Here goes his penny bun. Don't get nervous. I did it. That's $100. It takes a steady hand because if you touch the side... Here goes his penny bun. Don't get nervous. I did it.

That's $200. Operation. A game from Milton Bradley. I believe you once got me as a gift a miniature version on a key ring. Yes, a very nice one.

So we would have discussed it then? Maybe, yes. Oh, it was in a Price of Shite, I think. Maybe that's where I got it. Or a Mikasa Tsukasa or something. Funnily enough, I bought another mini version of Operation recently as a keychain, didn't I?

But it wasn't as good because it was some kind of magnet game. We had to drag the shapes and fill the holes. It had a nice rubber band fastener. Nice rubber band. Yes. Oh. Now don't get distracted. You know what he likes to do with them?

He twangs it. He puts it around his helmet. I don't do distracted Do you know what he likes to do with them? He twangs it He puts it round his helmet I don't do anything with my helmet Nor my bum He puts it round My willy He puts it round his helmet And gives it a twang

And he goes Dwang, dwang, dwang Dwang, dwang, dwang Sponky, sponky, twang Sponky, twang Sponky, twang Twang, twang, sponky, twang I'm a Paul

And I twang On my sponky twang Twang, twang, twang Twang, twang, twang Magritte, Magritte. Right. Operation now. No, please don't.

Not today. Come on. Not today, mate. Twang, twang, twang. That's good. Please, no twang song. My helmet twangs, vibrates my helmet. Mate, you should have a band called the Woo Twang Clan.

Good. Nice. Worth it? Yeah. Got us out of that. Right. So we're going to play Operation today. I did a bit of research

and I didn't know one fact but I was told about it in a separate story so I know you're just going to assume everyone knows what operation is operation I mean it is one of those games

that is very old and famous yeah it's one of the mega classics of board game lore it's been going around since 1964 originally oh I would have thought it would be older than that, actually. Really?

Well, okay, so we've mentioned in the past and we did a digitized video on Marvin Glass, who was the Willy Wonka of toys. He wasn't so much an inventor. He knew how to market and sell them. I think that's the important difference between him and a Willy Wonka-type character. And was this one of his things,

one of the things he developed? Yes. It's kind of complicated and also quite sad. So the game was invented by a student of the University of Illinois called John Spinello.

Was he a medical student? No, a design student at the time. And he sold the rights to the game to designer Marvin Glass for just $500. It's a lot of money back then.

Yeah, but it's still not. But it's nowhere near as much as he's owed for it because he was also promised when he left university he could join Marvin Glass' company. Marvin Glass was like, Operation, I'll have that and I'll give you 500 quid for it. And, you know, when you finish uni,

you can come and join. Job for life, mate. Never happened. Every time Marvin Glass was approached by him, he'd be like, Oh, I'm busy and I haven't got time. And that guy was fobbed off twice. Bit of a dick, Mr Glass.

Marvin Glass. Although he did many things right for the industry and did advancements and things, he also was a proper shit, stealing ideas left, right and centre and ripping people off. He's an interesting guy. Biffo gave me the book

about the history of Marvin Glass and it's as thick as two phone books, full of pictures and things. So, he got 500 bucks and that was it. Yeah, do you know how much the game is worth now? 100 million? No, 40 million. But still, for 500 quid, 500 dollars.

I know, it's ridiculous. Yeah. It was initially produced by Milton Bradley because here's the thing, Marvin Glass didn't have a glass company where he sold board games through. He would buy the games or bring the inventors in to create them

and then sell them to other toy manufacturers or board games. Did he have any manufacturing company where he sold board games through him he would buy the games or bring the inventors in to create them then sell them to other toy manufacturers so in this case you have any manufacturing company of his own i i think he did but it was during the early days when you were making like the chattering teeth and things like that back when it was joke shop items yeah so yeah initially produced by milton bradley in 65 so it came out just a year after it was he sold the rights to Marvin Glass and yeah it's worth 40 million now the game is a variant

on the old fashioned electrified wire loop game which was popular at funfairs at the time I've played that at funfairs in my childhood yeah

where you have to not touch the ring you can't win a shit bear aww well what were you good at it I

did you have a steady hand I did I do yeah yeah you could hold it in Did you have a steady hand? I did. I do. Yeah? Yeah. Strange you could hold it in your weird snowman-like mittens. I knew you were going to go there, and we'll see.

Yeah? That's true. And also, I've been drinking before the operation. That's a very unprofessional. Calm it down. I'm like Doctor Strange or something. I don't know what happens to him. He doesn't do anything. Anyway, so it consists of a quote-unquote operating table

lithographed with a comic likeness of a patient who's got a name. Do you know what his name is, the man on the table? Just statistically, maybe John? No. It's a weird name, but I love it. Tarquin? No. Cavity Sam?

Oh, I see. I went to see Cavity Sam the other day. That's funny. Dirty bastard. He's got cavities where the things go in. Yes, he has. And so he has a large red light bulb for a nose. This is a reference to classic cartoons

where ill characters' noses often turned red. And drunk characters as well. Yeah, true. Sozzled folk. In the surfaces are a number of openings which reveal cavities filled with fictional and humorously named ailments made of plastic. It's weird how they've separated the word opening from cavity.

You could just go, there's just a cavity. There's a cavity sound. I mean, every cavity has an opening. It's part of the cavity. And then the general gameplay is you've got to use tweezers to take the bits out

without touching the metal sides or they can make a connection and make the red nose glow and you lose your round. And so the metaphor is we're killing cavity sound if we touch the sides. Well, you're injuring him severely.

There's all these rules. The version we're not going to play hasn't got the classic rules in where, you know, everyone takes a specialist card and if someone fails and you're the specialist of that item.

So the version we're not going to play? Yeah, is the original. The version we're not going to play is the original. That's a perfectly fine sentence. I'm not saying anything. Well, you were. I just wanted some clarity.

It wasn't perfectly fine for me. Oh, I am. I just needed clarity. Clarity Sam. I'm not saying anything. Well, you were. I just wanted some clarity. It wasn't perfectly fine for me. Oh, I am Clarity Sam. I'm telling you right now that we're not playing the original board game version rules. This isn't the original. Which version will we be playing? I'm getting there.

We're playing the one called... Right Away, you game. Rapid Response, released in 2008. Now, it was owned by Hasbro at this point, MB Games, but they still released them under the MB Games name. Do they still do that, or has it all gone under the Hasbro? I don't know. I think maybe they

still use MB Games as a brand that people recognise for board games. I mean, you see one, you recognise the logo, you think, board game! Right? But this is the Hasbro game through and through. There have been loads of versions of operations since, of different styles. There's one recently where you have to try and get things out of a dog's arse and i'm not even joking it's called pet rescue and you've got this dog operation pet rescue something like that and

you've got this dog with things inside of his belly and it's like a kind of cavity with a magnet so you've got to drag them through 3d no it's like this along a sort of yeah there's a magnet and you've got to get the thing in his innards and wind it through his intestines and pull it out of his arse. So there's no that winding through action really with this because these are just

cavities with a shape that fills the whole cavity. Yeah. So, did you know that each item on Cavity Sam's body has a name and a real ailment

behind it? So Adam's apple is in the throat and it's a colloquial term meaning the thyroid cartilage surrounding the larynx that becomes more prominent during puberty. Yeah. All right.

Broken heart. It's a broken heart in his chest. Wrenched ankle. Well, it's a wrenched ankle. Butterfly is in the stomach. The name comes from that feeling of nervousness or excitement or being afraid. This is chilled. I'm sorry to get all snotty.

Water on the knee. A colloquialism for fluid accumulation around the knee joint. Oh, fucking hell, mate. I've got a fucking load of fluid accumulation on my shaft. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Moving on. Will it come out? Funny bone. Will it come out now? A funny bone is the name of the... Yeah, he's a guy.

We can all understand. The distal portion of the ulnar nerve. Did you know that? Yes. Did you know the ulnar nerve? Listen, I know all about my ulnar nerve. Did you know that? Yes. Did you know the ulnar nerve? Listen, I know all about my ulnar nerve. And it's vulnerable to injury at the elbow. Yes, like the funny bone. What's a charley horse?

What's a charley horse? It's what we call a rocking horse. No, but what's it mean in this operation sense? No, it's not. It's like a stick, a broom with a horse's head. No, that's not a charley horse. See, you don't know, do you? That's the first one I didn't know, do you? You don't know, do you? That's the first one I didn't know. You stupid little dirty trollop.

Oh, I'm a trollop, am I? Yeah. Dirty, dirty trollop. It's a sudden spasm in the leg or foot that can be cured by a massage or stretching. Right as cramp. Oh, yes. Right ankle bone. That's what we call pins and needles, a charley horse, I think.

The ankle bone connected to the knee bone. That's a rubber band. Oh, yeah. That must be stretched between two think. The ankle bone connected to the knee bone. That's a rubber band. Oh, yeah. That must be stretched between two pegs on the left ankle and the knee. This is the only non-plastic piece in the game and the only card that requires the player to insert rather than remove something. Is that still the case on this version?

No, you've got to kind of pull it out of this little groove here and then pull out the big end. So there is a sort of windy mechanism on that. Wishbone, yeah. Bread basket. What's the bread basket? It's where you put rolls big end. So there is a sort of windy mechanism on that. Wishbone, yeah. Bread basket. What's the bread basket? It's where you put rolls. Come on, it's a slice of bread,

the small plastic piece. Oh, yeah. The word bread basket, which is slang for the tumby tum tum. Oh, the bread basket. The tumbly bum bum. I was thinking maybe

your belly bums. Maybe when your pubic hairs on your arse get meshed into a sort of basket. It's more of a kind of loaf, isn't it? It's more of a loaf nest. Hairloaf.

Perennium hair hood. A shit fence. A shit hood. A furry shit hood. Okay, good. Brain freeze, which was added recently, goes in the head. But there's no brain freeze there.

But why is the brain outside this man's cavity, Sam's head? I don't know. The brain's been taken out. Anyway. That's very macabre yeah so that is operation in a nutshell the version we've got is different the reason why it's different is because this first of all built-in computer it's got a built-in computer lovely piece the idea with this version of the game is that it's it's got more kind of gadgets

to it so for instance the tweezers rest in this little hole here when you pull it out it starts a timer when you put it out it starts a timer when you put it back in it stops the timer the computer knows the points there's no money involved the idea is does the original game

had notes yeah for instance if it was like £100 for the ankle and you pulled it out you'd get £100 and that's how you kept score

but if you were an expert if you had a specialist card and you got the ankle then you'd get double that because you're the specialist this is all worked out for you within the computerised brain. So with this version, it's interesting. It's similar in that you have tweezers and you pull things out,

but the idea is there are four different levels of play, and each one is separated, distinguished by different heart monitor plastic cards that come with it. Which have, you said, have a clever mechanism whereby the computer knows you slot them in and the computer knows which game you're playing yes through indentations on the edges of these it's kind of hard to describe but these are kind of clear like ruler kind of plastic you slot them in this top section here with the lights and they become the countdown or the score or the heartbeat depending on what version of the game you play.

Basically, you take turns and how you pull these out depends on the version of the game you're playing. Now, which will we be playing? You've had a look at this. Do you know which one is the most fun? They have four. They have one called Speed It Up and it's kind of simple. You pick a card and you pull it out as quickly as you can. It's kind of that simple.

But every time you touch the sides... Do you avoid getting them pregnant that way? This is going to be a long segment, mate. I come out and... God, I hate you. I jingle jangle. Right, stop. Don't stop it.

Right, so you've just got to pull it out as fast as you can, right? But every time you touch the sides, it takes time off. Whoever does it in the quickest time without any forfeit measures. You've lost me now. I'm sorry. It's because you're not listening. You're too busy about pulling out your fucking tiny nubbin.

Yeah? Speed up, so you have to do as many as possible before the timer goes off. I can read out all the rules if you want. Select the doctor card. Use the tweezers to quickly remove the ailment.

The monitor will start counting down as soon as you remove the tweezers from the slot. The faster you are, the more points you score. If he touches his side to make the nose bud, keep playing,

but your score will jump down. But keep on trying to remove the ailment. If you have not removed the ailment by the more points you score if he touches his side to make the nose bud keep playing but your score will jump down but keep on trying to remove the ailment if you have not removed the ailment by the time it counts down sam's nose will buzz return the tweezer to the slot game over okay if you remove the ailment before the countdown finishes quickly place the tweezers back in the slot to stop the monitor okay place the doctor card and ailment piece on the tray at sam's feet this ends your turn and theners have been turned to the slot the next player takes, and it's just like back and forth. Are we going to play that one? Yeah, and then after the end,

when we've run out of all the bits, you pull the card out, and then it will flash by who's won. So player one, player two, player three. Oh, yeah. Game two is called More Oxygen, Please. This is kind of similar. You pull out a card.

You've got to get it as quickly as you can. However, he has a kind of beeping heart monitor, and if it starts beeping, you've got to press this button here oh the little pump button which is a little kind of pump button which uh gives him life with a heart um design on it yeah so you have to do that it's the oxygen back in and then pump it or it will start flashing so you'll know that you've got to stop what you're doing and pump it okay because if he flatlines your game's over okay but you don't put that back in until the end the tweezers back in their slot no so there's that number three is rush job in

this game you have more time but you have to remove all 15 as fast as you can and again if you touch the sides it starts chipping away at your time and then game four is called specialist uh it's like classic operation where you have a doctor and a specialist. On your turn, select your doctor card and move the tweezers to pull it out. Yes. If you touch the sides, your game is over and you give it to the other player

who is the specialist and this ends your turn. The specialist must perform it and if they do it, they get more points. So basically, it's like Operation. You pull a card,

but if you beep, it's set him off. Let's not play that. So I think we should play game two and game three. Heart monitor. We have... And everything, the time trial for everything.

Yeah, one of them looks like a proper little heart monitor pulse thing. And the other game is the arrows. Do we have to put the bones in the slots to prepare, though? Yes, we should do that now. Operation. You're the doctor. Operation. You're the doctor.

Got the patient on the run. We move water on the knee, collect a thousand dollar fee. Operations, the pieces into Cavity Sam. It'll leave you in stitches. Right, we've entered all the pieces into Cavity Sam. So what do you want to do first? Do you want to do heart monitor? Yeah. All right. One is normal.

There's three settings. You want to do easy, normal or hard. I think it depends on how sensitive the electronic... What do you want to... I reckon we put it on two so it's about right. Normal, yeah.

So we've entered the two plays and now I select the card. And now the computer knows... Slot it right now I select the card and now the computer knows slot it right in satisfying so the computer knows now that we've picked game two to play and

it's got quite nice build quality this whole thing it all comes in its own case it comes in like a little medical pack case it folds out and it's all in there it's really nice again charity shop I think I got it for tenner

which I think is worth it it's a lovely thing this ready to play game two. It begins when you take the tweezers out, right? You start. Do you want me to go first? Yes. Let me just read the rules one more time.

So on your turn, select the doctor card and use the tweezers to quickly remove the ailment. Sam will start with a normal heartbeat. If it gets louder and faster, calm him down by quickly pressing the oxygen button once before his pulse reaches the end of the monitor. The faster you are are the better for sam no other player is allowed to press the oxygen pump once sam's heart has slowed down continue removing the ailment as normal if you touch sam's size it'll make his nose buzz place the tweezers in the storage slot and the card that goes to the bottom of the pile so one you only remove one

thing yes if you select if you get it out correctly uh place the tweezers back in and that ends your turn after your turn when the tweezers back in and that ends your turn. After your turn, when the tweezers have been returned to their slot, the next player will flash. Take turns until all the ailments are removed. However, if we get bull, we can pull the card out whenever we want, stop the game early, and it will read the scores at that point. So we don't have to do all 15, because that might be quite dull.

So I go first then. So I'm going to pick a card out. I'm just going to give it one last shuffle. So this will tell me now what ailment of the body I have to now remove right here we go picking the top card and it is the tennis racket that it's officially called tennis elbow right so here i go eli will do the commentary now as i go for removal of this here we go okay he's going to pull out the tweezers. The tweezers are out. And then the heart monitor started.

He's in there. He's trying to get it out. And he's almost reached the top. No, you fucked it. There, your heart. That was a mess there. I still got it out, though, and I didn't set him off. So, at a win.

How do you know when he set off? Because it was nozzle buzz. Right, your turn. And then you lost. Pick your card. You've lost if that happens. Yeah, you lose your turn. Broken heart.

Broken heart. So that one's yours in the middle there. Your go begins when you pull the tweezers out. And remember, once it starts flashing, give him a pump and begin. He goes in and he goes for the heart now. He's quite careful. It's flashing. It's getting towards near the end.

It's not flashing yet. But you don't have to press it. You don't have to press it. Just put the tweezers back. What are you doing? There you go. As soon as you pulled it out, you just dump it and move on. You don't have to press the oxygen pump unless that starts flashing really madly.

Making me anxious. Now, these have been two easy ones. I reckon when we start getting to, like, the fiddly ones here and the ribs, which is hard. All right, here we go. Next card is belly button fluff. There it is. Right, here we go. And he's pulled the tweezers out, and he's started to manipulate.

It's a hard one, he said. He's already given up mentally.ally, he's checked out, and I think he's going to have a terrible time with this. He's really struggling to get it up. Oh, I got it. He's got it. No. Yeah.

It's in. It's in. And without any ado. Any ado. Oh, mobile phone. Mobile phone's in his right hand. Okay. Off he goes.

There's the mobile phone. Mobile phone's in his right hand. Okay. Off he goes. There's the mobile phone. And begin. Goes straight for the left-hand side. Now, the phone is quite a beefy item, but it's flipped up and he's got it side. That is excellent. And it's straight out. Tweezers in.

You caught a nice break there where it flipped on its side, because if you can't flip it on its side, it's really hard to grab that. It's quite a fat, chunky little piece. You got anything to say about my hands? Yeah? Paul might be eating all of his words. Here we go.

Oh, it's the funny bone. It's the funny bone. Funny bone. This one's got an action because he has to manipulate it along the line. No, that's the funny bones there. It's not that one. That's the good. That's the exciting one.

We're both looking forward to the leg one. Twisted ankle. Here we go. I'm pulling it out. What was the one? It's that one.. We're both looking forward to the leg one. Twisted ankle. Here we go. I'm pulling it out. What was the one? It's that one. Funny bone. Funny bone.

In the elbow. Here we go. And he's pulled it out. He's going in and he's getting distracted by me. But, oh, oh, he has to, he's had to push. It's gone. He's calmed the patient's heart down by pushing the heart pump, and he's gone back in with a more determined and slow,

and he's got the bone out. I'm out. Oh, that was a bit too close for comfort, and we'll move over to... Over to Dr. Eli now for the next operation. Here he goes. He's going to whip it out and push it in. Fucking spoff on it.

He's just spat a bit on his helmet What is the card? What's the card? It's a rib Oh, the rib Now we were worried about this one Because Eli put it in wrong Oh, it's the wrong way round and upside down

So I've made my bed And you must sleep in it Right, so Tweezers out Game begins When you're ready And he's off

You go straight in Now the rib is a funny Oh Straight out Tweezers out. Game begins. When you're ready, and he's off. He goes straight in. Now, the rib is a funny... Oh! Straight out. I'm going to have to give that a round of applause as well. I mean, that is very well played. I thought that was going to give you trouble. He's looking at the hands, and he's thinking,

are these hands really chunky? Well, we'll see, because when we pull the card out... Chunky little sausage finger hands. These are hands of dexterous genius, who can manipulate the finest tweed. We've done six so far. Should we do two more each? All right, fine.

All right, so I'll do the next card. And the next card is frog in the throat. Frog in the throat. It's a frog-shaped piece of bone. It's got little legs and arms, but they're quite close. So I'm going to do my best to grab an arm and pull them out. Is there a dirty version of this game with, like, knob bone, fanny bone,

snot bone, bum bum bone, poo bone? Stop. This is why. I'm going to begin my operation. Wet straw! I'm beginning my operation. Like a pig is pissed on the straw. Shut up! I'm beginning my operation. Oh, he started, and he's pulled

out the tweezers, and he's going for the frog. Frog in the throat and it's very he has to be very sensitive here because it's right near the patient's brain and he's always got his other hand over the button ready to go and and he can't get the frog out. I think this could be the undoing of Paul. He can't get any purchase. He's reporting back to his team. He can't get any purchase he's reporting back to his team he can't get any purchase he's got it out oh but that was a long time that was a very long time

I couldn't get a grip on his arm he's only got one card left to redeem himself and Eli's pulled out a card and his card is what is that? it's a wooden leg

so I presume it's in the leg there you go it's by his groin it's by his fat chod you're going to have to be careful. Right. Tweezers out. Operation begins. Pull the wood out of his shorts

now. He's pulling his tweezers out and he's now reaching for the wood. Now this one is again another fat little piece so it's not... Oh, he pulls it out quite easily and quickly. This sucks. I might lose this. Right. Okay. One more card each. Let's see. I might lose this. Right. Okay, one more card each.

Let's see if I can get some time on. And it is the boot. It's called the Keepy Uppy Knee. Keepy Uppy Knee. Keepy Uppy Knee, which is a boot. It's a boot shape, but it's in his... There's no logic to any of this, is there? No, it's just all sillinesses and sodderies, isn't it? Sillinesses and sodderies.

Here we go. Operation time. And... We're off. He's pulled it out, and let's hope he doesn't... Stop saying he pulled it out! isn't it? Silliness isn't solderies. Here we go operation time. And we're off. He's pulled it out and let's hope he doesn't. He's pulled it out

and he's gone oh he's got some purchase on there it looks like and he hasn't had to use the heart pump. Oh I'm in. Oh

and my last card now. Eli's last card now. It's a piece of pizza cheese. It's a piece of cheese there.

Oh that's an easy card. Cheesy feet is it? I think that's an easy card. I think that is cheesy feet. Cheesy feet. It is cheesy feet. It's a piece of pizza cheese. It's a piece of cheese there. Oh, that's an easy card. It's cheesy feet, is it? I think that's an easy card. I think that is cheesy feet. Cheesy feet. It is cheesy feet. It's the luck of the draw, mate.

It's the luck of the draw. It is, and they've been shuffled by my own hands. Your own hands? So I can value. Your own strangely clumsy hands. I can value the feridity. Strangely slender and good looking, but when it comes to the nitty gritty.

Come on, just pull it out and stick it in. Okay. Operation begin. And he goes for the foot. He goes in and he can he get it this one it's a bit it looks easier than it is but he's just got to get the right purchase on it it's a little triangular piece of white plastic and yet he can't quite get it going oh he's pressed the pump to try and reside this oh no it's going off again he's pushed it once and the patient is fine. Oh, he gets it out. Oh, and he's in. Right. I'm going to pull the card out now and see who wins. So, Eli, when you

want to pull out that slot. Can I just have a moment? Yeah. Does that stress me out, man? I couldn't get purchase on the cheesy cheese meister cheese. Yeah. Cheese shaped element. It was a trickier spot than you thought it was going to be. It was. Yeah. You, you, it's because you. Right. shall I pull out the... Can I? May I? Yes. I'll pull out the card. The computer will tell us if it's player one or two.

So you were one and I was two? Yeah. Okay. Here we go. It's going to calculate. It's calculating. Player two won that, Eli! That was me with my horrible hands and not good at anything.

Wait. We've got one more game to play because I want to play game three, which is the rush job. So what happens in this one, same again, you have to get them all out and go. But as you touch the sides, the countdown will decrease. And so it's basically whoever gets all 15 out the quickest time. Yes, without touching the sides a lot. Because that will cut penalties.

We all get one go, do we? Both get one go. Yeah. They're all done, all 13 of them. Right. So, do you want to do this on hard? You don't have to pick a card on this. No, you don't.

You go in any order you want. Do you want to do it on hard? Do you want to do it hard? Come on, let's do it hard. Are you trying to hustle me? No, I just want to see if you want to do it hard. I can do it hard. You want to do it hard on the operating table.

Have you had it hard though? Or have you had it soft nudged in or rammed it? Right. Two player on hard. On hard. I'm going to enter in the right card

which is game three. I think you should go first this time because I went first last. Are you ready? You can't. You don't need to worry about this pump this time.

Ignore the pump. It's not in the game. It's just the tweezers and you. Every time you touch the side it takes more time off. So you've got I don't know how long it gives you. Ignore the pump. It's not in the game. It's just the tweezers and you. Every time you touch the side, it takes more time off. So you've got... I don't know how long it gives you. I honestly don't.

So are you ready, Eli? When you pull out the tweezers, the game begins. Here we go. Exciting stuff and the time starts now. He goes for the racket first. A good choice. The racket is a brilliant and simple one. Get it out the way.

I would go with the hard ones first, but don't worry. dropped he's pulled out the log oh it's he's hit the sides that means he's lost a little bit more time he is only one a quarter of the way there uh he's pulled out the oh he's done it again he's nudged his time up because he goes for the uh what is that now he's going for the wishbone that comes out easily next to the frog i had a little bit difficulty with the frog last time it looks simple but is it no he's gone off he's moved to the heart he's touched the heart again this is it's stressful but he gets the heart out a tricky tricky shape we're all losing our collective oh no no he's touched the sides again he's got to be more careful now he's getting close to the end of

his countdown he tried to drag the twisted ankle through the leg but hit the sides again. He's got to be more careful now. He's getting close to the end of his countdown. He tried to drag the twisted ankle through the leg, but hit the sides too many times. The cheese is out. He's now going for the football shoe. Can he pull that out? He's hit the sides again. The nose is gone. He's getting down to the very last few times now.

And look, it might all be all over. That's it. It's all over. Your time is out. That's hard on hard. Yeah, he's put it in. So, I don't know how it judges the scores. Let me just have a quick look.

Touch the sides. If you get... If the arrows reach the end and Sam's nose buzzes, you're out of time. Stop operating. Put the tweezers back in the slot. This ends your turn.

If you move all 15, put the tweezers back in. This ends your turn. After your turn, the tweezers will return to their slot. Return all the ailments that you've successfully removed back into their cavities

ready for the next player who will light on the flashing monitor the game will be over when everyone's taken a turn remove the game slider and the number will light up that's it, it's just a time trial so how many pieces did you get out? 1, 2, 3, 4

5, 6, 7, 8 8, so we'll see I'm not quite sure how it's going to pick a winner here because it doesn't know how many pieces you've removed so how does it know how you've done? well we'll see if it does not quite sure how it's going to pick a winner here because it doesn't know how many pieces you've removed so how does it know how you've done? Well we'll see if it does.

If you get them out without the nose going off you've won. If I get nine out I guess that's it but we'll still pull the slot out

and see what they say. I didn't do very well. That is hard. It is hard on hard. Yeah and it's

also hard doing the commentary. I'll tell you what I'll give you the cheat sheet if you want to know what pieces I'm pulling out alright.

Here we go. I'm excited Eli. I'm going to drink some drink. give you the cheat sheet if you want to know what pieces I'm pulling out, alright? Here we go. I'm excited, Eli. I'm going to drink some of these drinks. To tie the series, Paul needs to do well here. Yeah. I was a bit over cocky almost there. A bit over cocky, but you did do well. And there are some pieces in there that are much harder to pull out.

It's much harder to pull out the big ones than the small ones, isn't it? Sometimes you have to really reach in and grab it and then pull that big one out. I'm thinking of a pig's mouth! The little one, you can just go, and it's out. Oh, I'm thinking of a pig! Right, let's just start the game. Here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready.

Paul's here, and he's about to start his time trial here. And he's pulled out the tweezers, and he's going for the tennis elbow. No problem there. That's an easy piece, and he's got that out, and he hasn't incurred any penalties so far, and now he is going for the spare tyre.

That's also an easy piece. He's looking good here early on. He's got the wishbone out, and no problem at all with any of them now, and he's a bit indecisive trying to pick. He's gone for the funny bone now. He's gone for wishbone out. And no problem at all with any of them now. And he's a bit indecisive trying to pick. He's gone for the funny bone though. He's gone for the funny bone. A weakly bone.

He looks like he's finessing it here. He's doing brilliantly. He's gone straight in for the cheesy foot arch. He got that as well. And he's really done well here. Oh, he's got the wooden leg is out. And he's gone for the broken heart. Oh, the broken heart is out and he's gone for the broken heart. Um, um, um, I'm, oh, the broken heart is out again.

He has no penalties at all so far. Now he's gone for the belly button fluff. The belly button fluff is very tricky. Neither of us have done it so far. And he's prodding at the belly button fluff. Oh, he's got a little purchase on the belly button fluff. He's got it out and now he's going for keepy-uppy knee. Keepy-uppy knee.

And he's keepy-uppy knee is a tricky one. It defeated Eli in his first time trial. and he's going by the studs, he's trying to go by the studs of the Keepy Uppy Knee boot and he's got one, he got one out and now he's going for the controller, oh and he's incurred his first penalty, he's incurred his first penalty and he's getting up there towards the end, he's stretching it, oh he's, another penalty there, another, another penalty there. Another penalty. And Joystick Wrist is proving to be his Waterloo in this round. He can't get any kind of purchase on the joystick.

And isn't it ironic that he's a gamer and the joystick is the one thing he can't get out here. He's moved on. He's moving to the spare rib. Oh, and he's incurred another penalty. He's incurred another penalty. And he's very close. Oh, he's dropped the rib.

He's dropped the rib into the spare tyre. Bollocks, I dropped it in the hole. And now it's gone. Right, so I've got to put the tweezers back in. So how many did I get out? You've got more than me. One, two, three, four, five, six, 7, 8, 9. But let's pull the slot out.

How many did I get? 8. So let's pull the slot out and see who the computer says wins. It should be player 2. Go. It should be player 1. Pull out quick hard. It should be player 1, which is you.

It's a draw. Well, no, how is it a draw? Because I manage it. Should we put it on normal and try again? Because I got more out And It doesn't matter I won

The computer says no No the computer doesn't know How many people got in the bounce No the computer doesn't know So how the fuck Is it going to know The fucking points then It's a fucking draw

It's not a fucking draw I got nine out I get one win And you get one draw No So I'm one No And you're 0.5

I won that I win the series I won that You did not win that I fucking won that're 0.5. I won that. I win the series. I won that. You did not win that. I fucking won that. By no one's rules. I won that.

In your own mind. Well, I'm bored of this because I won. That was a... You could have to admit the textbook beauty of my movement. You were doing well, but then you got some... You didn't manage it. I had a waterloo moment. A little waterloo moment with the bloody thing. But I was still...

Also, when you dropped the thing into the other thing. That would have been 10. He took a bone out, but he dropped his bone into the spare tyre. And I can't even get it out. No, that's... Let's see. He's going to try and fish it out.

Just do it willy-nilly. It don't matter, does it? But I am calling that a win. It's my segment. I get to call the shots. So, Paul Gannon... You've broken it. I haven't broken it.

If it fell in, it'll come out, won't it? Well, I'm not doing it. Well, I'm not doing it. You broke my game. Who won? I won. You won the first game. I won the second.

I don't think so. It's an overall draw. We've both done well. It's a good game, though. It's quite fun. Gannon's Golden Games. It's a fun Gannon's Golden Games.

Gannon's Golden Games. And it was exciting. I like this. Very nice design. You're right. You've got a real eye for this type of thing, Paul. This might be my favourite version of Operation.

Oh, definitely much more fun than it. It's kind of charged, isn't it? It's kind of a mature charge. Yeah, because it builds in the timer. It's pure excitement. You've got the beep, beep, beep, and it all works. If you can find this in a charity shop, or if you really are a collector and you want all the different versions of Operation,

this is a good one to get, and I'm happy I found this one. Definitely the ultimate one. Right. Well, once again, Eli, this segment ends. That was Ganon's Golden Games.

And that was Ganon's Golden Games. And after that thrilling finale in Ganon's Golden Games, it's time for us, sadly, to say goodbye. That's all we've got time for this week. But we'll be back next week with more fun and games. Oh, we will be. And guess what?

We've got guests. Next week is guests. Next episode is guests. So as of, well, for the next six months, we're going to have guests popping in and out of the show. Should we not say that? Because something might happen and the guests might go, you can't put that out.

And then they'll say, I'll sue you. Nah, it's fine. Subject to availability. And now we've covered it. So over the next few weeks, expect to hear from comedians, Imran Youssef,

Tom Mayhew, comedian and actor, Paul Putner, Ethan Lawrence is appearing on the show, actor and comedian, Nick Helm, Nathaniel Metcalf

from Food Bar's fan club. They're going to be on the show as a double act. We've got a little plan for them. Abigail Ishamon's coming back to the show, actor and comedian, Nick Helm, Nathaniel Metcalf from Food Bar's fan club. They're going to be on the show as a double act. We've got a little plan for them. Abigail Ishamon's coming back to the show after years because she was originally there in the early days

when it was on Clicables. Wow. So she's coming back. And finally, we're doing a crossover with the podcast Mystery on the Rocks with Suze Kempner and co.

So that's to look forward to between now and Christmas. All those guests. What a lot of guests we've got coming up on the show Paul and can I just say I'm excited

to work with someone that isn't you yeah I was thinking the same oh fuck off hang on why can you say it I go it's fine

but when I say it it's like a massive dig to your character because when you say it it's about me you not liking me but when I say it it's about me not liking you

oh so subjectively oh alright fine I get it I get it Paul just one not liking you. Oh. So subjectively. Oh, all right. Fine. I get it. I get it. Paul, just one thing that would make me like you more.

Just admit that we drew that second game there. No, we didn't draw the second game. What did the machine say? What did the machine say? It said nothing. It didn't flash either. So I'm guessing the computer doesn't. You've explained it. I don't think the computer is up.

The game is over when everyone has taken a turn, right? We both took our turn. And the winner's number were like up. I don't understand. We both. How does it know what the point is over when everyone has taken a turn right removed the game and the winner's number were like up I don't understand how does it know what the point is we both busted we both blew it

we blew it yeah but I blew it better than you because I pulled more out you blew it better than me did you fucking hell I didn't know

this operation board game was going to be more like you pulled it out and blew it better than me blowed it let's just do the admin and get the fuck out of here right so interestingly I keep forgetting to mention this,

but if you want links to this episode's website page and everything, if you look at the metadata for this podcast in your podcast app, there's all the links and stuff in there that I put in with the information of the episode every week. You can go straight there from your podcast app. But if you don't want to do that, our website is thecheapshow.co.uk. There's links everywhere on there to videos all the episodes with their videos and pictures that go with them there's links to our merch page there's tony's merch pages events cheap show

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Should I say something about my facial hair or something? One last thing you can email us too about anything you like thecheapshow at gmail.com and on

social media Facebook Instagram blah blah blah blah blah but we're most active on Twitter so at the Cheap Show pod I'm at Paul Gannon Show and Eli is Eli Snowid and you spell that E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D and every now and then we'll be on the

Green Room Spotify app if you want to join us on a Sunday there. Oh that was fun wasn't it? I forgot to do it this Sunday because I was busy ironing and watching The Raid. Yes or not ironing just watching The Raid. I always get wrapped up in that film. Pretending to do something. I'd like to revisit it. And also number two.

Yeah. Two was good. Yeah, I'm going to watch number two the next time I decide to not do ironing, but hold an iron in my hand for 90 minutes, which is pretty much what happened. It's a good thing you didn't start getting into the action so much that you started swinging the iron around. It's a good job my phone didn't ring.

Yeah. I've got oil in my beard. My hair is oily. That's it. That's the end. I'm done. I'm actually genuinely spent now. I feel exhausted.

You're spent. You've fetched. Drained. I haven't fetched. You have fetched. You pulled it out. You've fetched. I have reached the limits of my mental realm

I've spent my garbage up your mumra see you see I can't I can't I'm out I've swapped my garbage

up your mumra this episode is fine this episode is done now swap my garbage and I trust you to be quiet oh I will bye you