CheapShow - Ep 31: Rerecord Not Fade Away

Episode Date: December 15, 2016

CheapShow returns to your ears in another podcast full of Paul & Eli goodness! Recording this episode was a ruddy nightmare, so you better like it! In episode 31, discover how Eli upset the Furry Brigade on YouTube, hear him also answer your rubbish and frustrating questions, Paul delivers his refreshingly poor Price of Shite and they both consider taking a bath in hot, beefy Noodle bath salts... If only they could read Japanese! Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! You can see pictures and accompanying videos for this episode on our website www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... all that jazz! WARNING *Show contains strong language and adult material

You know, at some point, I'm going to get sick of making these introductions to Cheap Show, where I have to apologise for either the quality, a fuck-up, or some kind of issue that basically ruins an otherwise superlative podcast. However, it's time to do another one of those. So basically, me and Eli, we couldn't get the radio studio, so we came to Shea Gannon to record the show instead, on a new laptop with new software and long story short the audio got corrupted which means we lost a lot of the episode which means we lost almost half of that episode so Eli and I re-recorded the intro and we lost a couple of things that we'll try and redo again at some point I mean you're still getting at least a price of shites and some banter and all the usual stuff that Cheap Show offers.

But, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm pissed off. I think I might call this episode episode 31. Fucking urgh. Or maybe one without a swear word in so it doesn't get censored by the internet. So, thank you for sticking

with us. I mean, to be fair, it's Cheap Show. What the fuck do you expect? This is the same bollocks we always get. It really is. But thank you for supporting us. And if you could be so kind, like us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter at The Cheap Show Pod, visit our website, thecheapshow.co.uk,

and like our Facebook page, and just generally be a lovely person and help spread the word because the more listeners we get the more powerful we become and the more powerful we become that means we will be closer to eli becoming a god and i think you know we all want that really deep down we want to be ruled by eli he will be a mean and cruel dictator but also fair when he wants money off you so so uh enjoy episode 31 we've got another episode coming up just before christmas which has a sprinkling of christmas on it not too much and this intro is already too fucking long um shall we just introduce the awesome theme tune which was made by brian we, from that there Starbomb, from that there Game Grumps,

from that there Ninja Sex Party. I think you should. I'm very proud of it. So is he. Thank you again. Man, Paul, just fucking introduce the show. Just do it. How hard does it need to be? Just do it. It's already, what, two minutes forty? Jesus. Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name's Eli Silverman. You're about to listen to Cheap Show episode 31 and here's your other host who's co-hosting today and

always. It's Paul Gannon. Hello, hello. Welcome to Cheap Show. Welcome to Cheap Show. I am Paul Gannon, the apparently part-time co-host to Eli Silverman's fucking vanity project. It's not my... This is not a vanity project, mate. No, it's not. Well, let me just explain to the audience what's going on. So me and you, we had a recording session at Shea Gannon a few weeks ago and then i listened back to the intro of episode 31 and it no work it no work every time i put it in the editor it was like me no recognize format oh right so just uh it was corrupted somehow i don't get it it dragged it in it was

like does not recognize this file which is a plick plock plick file and i was like never heard of it so so we are having to re-record the intro on skype and then we'll go back to the regular programming so hold tight hold tight and good because but here's the thing because we forgot well i can't even remember what we talked about in that original intro i think it was something to do with you pissing off the furries. Oh, yeah. Let's just recap. Yeah, let's do a quick recap because I don't want to go into it again. Basically, you smeared a whole online community and they turned on you because you said something in Barshens, didn't you?

Yes, I said furries are people who are dressed up as dogs and fucked each other. Which is not untrue. Well, exactly. It's a subset of the truth about furries, isn't it? It's a small fraction of the truth. I mean, not all... In fact, it's like a swimming about. It can be true

of some furries. Hashtag not all furries. And I just don't have anything against people who have a spirit animal and want to dress up like the big bad wolf or, you know, whatever. Or any furry mascot, really. Or indeed screw each other through special yiffing flaps in their costumes.

Yiffing flaps? I think it's something like that. Have you done the research? Well, my friend Mark Allen, he did a whole show about our relationship to animals. Oh, that's right. A pet project. And he sort of tried to infiltrate the furries. Did he get any tail, so to speak?

No, but I think he was propositioned by an owl. Or he saw an owl sucking off a frog or something like that. Wow. He did. He saw a bit of interspecies furry stuff going on. Beatrix Potter would spin in her grave. So obviously, you know, I didn't want to... I honestly did not want to...

What's the word? Smear. Yeah. Upset. Or insult any furries. So what I thought we'd do instead then, yeah, fuck them, moving on, right? Oh, cool.

You got some experience, yeah? No, no, not at all. I just think we talked about it and we're recapping. And we should move on. Yeah, moving on. If they have a problem, they can get in touch directly

with Barry Lewis or Stuart Ashen's on the Barshan's website and we're not part of that. We're just ancillary. So what I did instead though was I got in touch with our Twitter fans and I asked them hashtag ask Silverman and so I've got a few questions

for you and you can reply I'm ready to field them and luckily they're not all questions like you look like a porn actor none of that well that's good that's refreshing And luckily, they're not all questions like, you look like a porn actor. None of that. Well, that's good. That's refreshing. All right, so FB on the web, or Flohoho.reamb,

has asked this question. How did a decent gentleman like Eli end up with such blokes like Barry Lewis and Stuart Aschens? So, how did you get involved with Barshens, basically? It was suggested because of Cheap Show, it was suggested by, I believe, Stuart

that I might want to pop in. And be a stooge, be a clown for their cosplay. And be a stooge and a clown. And I have some practice in that area. I trained as a clown. And I've done various clowny things over the years. So it's... What, like standing in dark alleyways

and scare kids holding a big knife? You see, this is not... You know, they're sullying the whole concept of clowning, aren't they? No, well, to be fair, I think Cirque du Soleil did that a few years ago by just poncing up the art of clowning. I went to see a Cirque du Soleil show, right? And it was called O. And it was the most pretentious fucking thing I went to see a super-solation, right? Yeah.

And it was called O. And it was the most pretentious fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, clowns opening umbrellas, and it rains under them, rather than above the umbrella. And they were like, oh dear. And then they all danced off.

It was all fucking cock. Yeah, poncy clown crap. Yeah, okay, so there's that. But, you know, in its purest form, it is just arsing around and making people laugh, isn't it? I mean, there's that but you know in its purest form it is just arsing around and making people laugh isn't it i mean yeah there's nothing bad about that so nothing bad about that no nothing wrong with that at all so i i do don't have a social history to answer your question uh with either stewart or barry um but only with you, Paul. No, because that was the thing. I got to know Stuart through working with Richard Sandlin, comedian, on his Perfect Movie show. And we got on quite well.

And then we invited Stuart onto Cheap Show to do that episode. Was it episode three or something? Stuart Ashen's Eat Sponge. And it seemed to go quite well. That was an early episode and one of our early live forays. Yeah, it's quite a popular episode as well. That was an early episode and one of our early live forays. Yeah, it's quite a popular episode as well. That one and the episode with Ninja Brian, who's now on Game Grumps. But anyway, the point being is that, yeah, we've had a nice association.

And as a result, he asked me to produce Barshens. And then I brought you in. And it's all been lovely ever since. Yes. Lovely, lovely, lovey, love, love. Lovely. Love, love, love, love, love. Lovely.

Next question then. Daniel May asks Silverman, he goes, Can you sing? And if so, can you give us a rendition of your harmonic voice? That's from Daniel May or at dan-boy6. So, in answer to your question, dan-danboy6, no, and no, I won't. No, and no I won't. Fuck you!

I hate these questions. I'm not like some kind of fucking, like I'm a monkey here. Like I'm, you know? No, you're more of a clown. Well, clowns don't just fucking do shit just because they're arsed. No, that's not, that is true. You're right. Do you know what I mean?

They subvert it. They subvert it in a funny way. Against all expectations, they do have standards. So I won't be singing unless the project is, like, you know, well-crafted and it's sort of called for. Okay. Such as the Price of Shite theme, which if this guy was an actual fan, he'd know.

There's my mellifluous tombra on that. Kitty cat meow. Alright, okay, good. Alright, next question. Are there any better questions? Can I ask Paul? Are there any better questions? Because the first one was dull. Then the second one was shit.

Let me have a little look through, you fucking moody bastard. Right. Uh, no. No. No. There's actually a really nice one. Daniel May asks another question, actually. You might like this one more. Who is your favourite and least favourite musician? Okay, that's a better question.

Good. Glad it passes muster. My favourite musician is extremely hard. I'm a great lover of music. Yes, we know. Listen, Mr Venom, just start with the... What's the catty callbacks? Go on.

Yeah, so... Just say Fleetwood Mac and let's get on. It's not Fleetwood Mac. All right. It's not Fleetwood Mac. I don't have a favourite musician. You know, I think maybe, I mean, it's clichéd, but probably Hendrix. Oh, nice.

It's a good choice. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's the wrong decision for you to make. No, that's why I've made it. So stop trying to double guess what I'm fucking trying to say. I'm not at all. What's your least favourite? You are. Oh, I was going to ask you to Skype on a Sunday night.

I know. It's like, oh, God. Sunday is my stupid hangover day. Oh, fucking hell. Well, it just happens to be my triple hangover today. That's what I'm saying. Poor bugger. So what's your least favourite?

My least favourite musician? Yeah. Possibly Mumford and Sons again you know that kind of thing I really don't care for it gentle fucking mumble pop neo folk

bullshit man god I hate that stuff I'm sorry so the worst thing for me is Mumford and Sons go furry for the uh for the next album it could be cool and the album could be like a concept maybe you know al gives head to frog yeah i'm cutting that out right so next question from brownie at PC-Brownie. He asks, he asks, how does Eli achieve such great hair?

I deeply envy it. Well, there's a, there's a, there's a quite simple thing you do. Is it wash it with Timote?

No. Although, Timote, ah, nostalgia. Yeah. Timote was one of the most, the earliest

mass-branded shampoo product I ever knew of. Oh, that's because it was all those adverts of ladies in waterfalls whipping their hair around. And it was one of the earliest sort of daily shampoos. Before that, you know, shampoo had a kind of more medical, sort of clinical feel to it, do you know what I mean? And then they sort of brought it into them. Yeah. They brought it into the modern age. It's like, just wash and go.

It's wash and go, basically, isn't it? I don't know. That was Cussin's, wasn't it? I don't know. Yeah, but Timothee's a bit posher. Yeah, it is. So, no. The opposite of that, anyhow, Paul.

Yeah. I don't wash it very often. Maybe once a week. And I just haven't cut my hair for about 7 years I think that's the main thing alright next question then because that wasn't a very good question sorry mate oh well you're allowed to have an opinion on questions

but I am how does this section work it's like I'm being interrogated what's interrogated it's an interior interrogation. You don't want to know, man. All right. Okay, next question is from Chris at Odd Gambino 1.

Is there any obscure vinyls you are trying to get hold of recently? Yes, several. Right, next question. Good. Right, moving on. No, go on. I'm looking for that... Oh, forget it

really there's nothing you're looking for or you just gave up I can't retrieve it from the shelves I mean I thought it was meant to be a comedy podcast not me wittering on about some fucking vinyl your fans are interested in you and your activities

Jesus Christ. It's all right. I'm looking... Okay. I am actually looking for cameos. Shake your pants. It's a seven inch that I did possess that was destroyed in my unfortunate record box

being run over by a van incident a few years back. And there's that. And also, yeah, there a another single by brother soul oh i've zoned out can we move on which is called cookies by brother soul thanks for the question good right next one uh we've got two more i think two more uh bros in space asks eli eats a lot of nastiness on the show. What's the nastiest thing he's ever put in his mouth? Nastiest thing I've ever put in my mouth was...

Well, nastiest food, I guess. Nastiest thing you've eaten. Well, I used to swallow live worms for attention when I was at school. Yeah. Which is true. Sorry. No, I know. Have I mentioned that on the show before?

I think you have, yeah, in an earlier pod. Yeah. So, anyway, just... I don that on the show before? I think you have, yeah, in an earlier pod. Yeah. So anyway, just don't want to bring that up. All right. Apart from bring it up. Eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh. Fucking hell. All right.

Next question from Phoebe Greger, who's one of our... Can I just mention... Go on. Can I just mention the nastiest thing, sort of kosher, you know, actually sort of food thing, was when you fed me marshmallows with brown sauce on them. Oh. Yeah, that was really bad. All right, good.

That's in an earlier live episode as well. I can't remember which one. Actually, someone was asking me about this. Could we put up a lot of Unclickables episodes online? I'm thinking about it. I'm just thinking about it. Because some of them are gash, and some of them i repurposed into cheap show episodes but there are still about i don't know 10 or so that have never been seen in the light of day since just give them what they want paul if the completists

want to you know see the rough and ready early early mumblings of the of the bm off that is cheap show yeah all right yeah do it or maybe if i start a patreon anyone who gives money you can get the whole thing as a wee transfer file maybe i can do something like that i'm thinking about patreon about time i made some fucking money off this podcast uh what else um right next question is from phoebe gregor one of our newest and most dearest fans she says what is the correct way to ask a dj for a request without ending up on a tales from the dance floor uh well um funny you should say that because last night i was djing and there was a very polite young lady yeah who um who came up asked me how i was you know and said she was

loving the music no she was like she was obviously you know understood that it can be irksome for someone to uh bleed at you and so she uh then asked for a tune uh but she said can you play some santana or something along those lines and so i said you've given me a question in two parts let me answer you in two parts no and uh what do you mean by along those lines and then she said what about something funky like james brown uh get get on up of the seat what's it called get on up of you get on up get on out of that box i don't know get up off of that thing yeah that's right yeah so uh and i said yeah i'll play that played it next so a polite approach um but also that's not the most important thing specificity you know yes the thing be

specific a request requires two key information points yeah artist and song title yeah that's you know it's not a request if you just go can you play something cheesy that's what's you know annoying like because it implies a sort of criticism of your whole thing so one integrate yourself with the DJ

also the offer of a blowjob you know oh mate you've ruined it what if it's a I'm not really like that if it's a bloke he can still offer me

a blowjob oh I gave him a gobble and I got Fleetwood Max tell me lies what a dream come true right that's all the questions

thank you for texting or tweeting them in if yes on Cheap Show right should we just roll on with a proper show that we recorded a few weeks ago now let's do it Right, that's all the questions. Thank you for texting or tweeting them in on Cheap Show. Right, shall we just roll on with the proper show that we recorded a few weeks ago now? Let's do it. Let's roll this shit on.

So, we were sent a comment on YouTube. Because you've become quite well known on the internet for being a noodle bastard. I am a noodle expert, thank you. A noodle bastard expert. A noodle enthusiast. Yeah. Bastard. Yeah. A noodle Nazi. No you. A noodle bastard expert. A noodle enthusiast. Yeah. Bastard.

Yeah. A noodle Nazi. No, that's not true. That's not true. You can't just throw the word Nazi at the end of everything. It's just boring. It's boring.

So, noodle Trotsky cunt. I don't know. Anyway, so, I was going to keep this because I thought, oh, I can't wait to tell you. And then a few of your friends posted it on your Facebook page.

Oh, and he sent it to me. Anything instant noodle related just gets to me, man. And I get that. That's fine. But it was sent to us by a Twitter follower. Let me just get this right. Alyssa Two Shots is her name. Alyssa Shutak, I think I pronounced it correctly. But she sent me a link from a website called Dangerous Minds. And I know the sport, it's been sport, but I wanted to tell you because, as I say, you're the noodle maestro. And so it's only fair to pass comment on this. Basically, there are, I hope it's not a joke. I hope it's not a spoof ad. But there are ramen noodle scented bath salts for your bathing pleasure.

So I'll just read you the article. What kind? Is it chicken? Well, I'll just read you the article. What kind? Is it chicken? Well, I'll just read you the article and see what it says. Why not soak your old, tired bones in a nice, steaming hot bath that smells just like ramen noodle beef bowls? Beef bowls. Beef bowls.

It'll be a beef bowl when I get in it. Hey, what? Sounds enticing, does it not? Well, you can do just that with these ramen bath salts from Japan. Google Trans translate isn't working too well on the japanese site that's selling them or maybe it is it's a tough call it's impossible this is the art this is the journalist writing it in a very informal manner tell it's not your voice it's not my own voice um it's impossible for me to translate all the

different scents in the ramen bath salts um you can probably guess where they are though they're selling around three pound a pack here here's how Google translated the description of the product. Finally finished? Question mark. Right smell of bath salt. Only in about likely go three times rice fragrance. Am I falling asleep or something? Too delicious smell.

And inspiring. But fasting, use caution. Too much like in the tummy will be trouble. Google Translate does not work yet. Doesn't really work yet, no. Does not work at all. But so it looks like, I mean judging by the advert there, it's like it looks like a ramen pouch.

Yeah. You shake it into the bath. I mean I'm credible. I could believe it. If it was real though I'd have trouble not trying to drink the bath water. You'd want to taste it if it smelled of delicious broth. Next minute you know you're gnawing at your cock end trying to get some chewing at it.

Okay, there's a lot of stuff going on there. There is a lot of stuff. Okay, how would I be gnawing at my cock end? It's true, it's very small. How would it reach? It's not. It's normal. It's not.

Like most of the male population of this planet I cannot put my dick in my mouth You know what we could do? That would be a bad evolutionary tactic for males Because they'd never go and get a mate would they? They'd all be joshing off into their own gobs Jacking it I'm bringing jacking it back

You know what we could do? We could ask my fiance Because she speaks Japanese. What it actually says? Yeah. Go get her. Go fetch her. Go get her.

We'll keep it going. Go on. Eli, go get Amelia. She's going to hate this. She doesn't like being in my podcast. But we'll ask her. So Eli's just going to look into getting Amelia onto the podcast for the first time ever as well. She's probably going to say no or can we do it later or is it important?

But hopefully she'll just come in and read this out. Don't worry, I'll be great. Amelia. She's coming. Is she? Yeah. So we're going to get an actual translation. We're going to get an actual translation. We're going to get an actual translation, because we can't trust Google Translate.

Perhaps she'll tell us whether she thinks it's a joke or a real product. Yeah, because I'm still not quite sure. This is Village Vanguard, an online store. Hello, Amelia. Hello. I know you hate being on my podcast, but because the article says Google Translate's awful, I thought, well, you speak Japanese, so sit down next to me. Ladies and gentlemen, on the podcast for the first time cheap show amelia my lovely lovely lovely fiance don't

put your tea down there mate told you so i was just gonna clap the article is someone has found an advert for uh bath salts from japan that smell like noodle ramen when you pour them in so if you just want to skip through them, just tell me what you're reading. I mean, I don't know if these are real or not, so I don't know what this says. We just thought we'd get an expert in. What does that say?

That says stock bath. Okay, right, okay. Like chicken stock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chicken stock bath. It's dashi. Yeah. So is that all it says?

It's like there's a little stuff there. Oh, yeah, dashi is stock. Yeah, so it's like stock soup bath. Okay. That's all. Okay, well, next one. Because. Yeah, so it's like stock soup bath. Okay. That's all. Okay, well, next one. Because, like, what are the different flavours there? Curry.

Oh, curry. Miso. Yakisoba. Ooh. Delicious. Gyudon, which is like a beef dish where the beef lays on the rice. Yeah. How could you have that?

But that's not a soup. That's not a broth-based dish, is it? I think at this point we're just... It is not a broth-based dish, is it? I think at this point... It is not a broth-based dish to put in your bath now. No. But it is just a scent, remember. People might want the scent, but not the... Perhaps I'll be the beef lying on top of it.

Yeah, because these ones say soup. The one with dashi and the miso. Those are specifically about soups. The others just say curry bath and yakisoba bath. Okay. And yakisoba is fried noodles anyway, isn't it? So that's not... That's the Gyudon one.

Okay. And... It says right there, Gyudon taste bath powder. Yeah, but I want to know what all that stuff says at the side. Oh. It's got a little warning at the bottom saying, you can't eat this. Yeah, see, that'd be my issue.

Just take a straw to the bath. So do you think this is a real thing? Yeah. Right. Okay, good. Why wouldn't you? I'm going to get some Are you? Of course

We'll get some ordered Yeah, get some And give us a test Yeah The thing is, would you go to work after a bath smelling of beef bowl? No, it's like having a Marmite bath or something, isn't it? Fair enough It's like rubbing Bovril on your

Junk You know, it's like putting Go on, what other meaty things can you think of to rub on your Junk You know It's like putting Go on What other meaty things Can you think of To rub on your belly Bouillon powder in your ears Oh

Wasabi on your willy Just leave the willy alone For one minute I can't It won't let me Jack it So You've probably got

The major points Yeah but Okay so that's Just that And that's all it is Does that say anything is that just the price it says

it says what does that mean it's like just the smell is three times better than rice okay that's very exact it sold me

I think it's only two and a half times better I think that's what it says I think that's what it says okay and is that the same thing yeah yeah yeah they're just selling it oh I'm surprised they only two and a half times better. I think that's what it says. I think that's what it says. Okay, is that the same thing that's there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just selling it.

Oh, I'm surprised they've got like a westerner in the bathtub to sell it. In the advert, there's a guy and it just looks like...

He looks white and he's western, yeah. I think that's because it's a novelty item that any, you know, why would a Japanese person, you know, he's had some yakisoba

for lunch. Why does he want to get in a bar full of it? They are probably thinking this is... It's for Japonophiles. Japonophiles. Is that a word? Japanophiles. Japanophiles.

I was almost there. You were almost there. Such as myself. Because the Japanese are thinking, we don't want this shit in our actual country. This is for dickheads in the West. Yeah, this is for knobjoys. Yeah. You'd think they'd advertise it in English then, wouldn't you?

That's a good point. It's bizarre knob joys. Yeah. You'd think they'd advertise it in English then, wouldn't you? That's a good point. It's bizarre. Anyway. But they do have bizarre products, but that takes the biscuit or takes the... I will say, if you're an average-looking Westerner in Japan, you can make quite a good living as a model. Oh.

I might go out there. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. Mr. Roly-Poly, I could be. Are you average-looking? No. Oh, meow. Kit's got claws. Do we have to have your fiancée on the bloody podcast? No, she's done her, meow. Kit has got claws. We have to have your fiancé on the bloody podcast.

Oh, she's done her duty now. You can go now. Thank you very much. Oh, get a round of applause. What? Don't give me the finger. I love you. So there we go.

Okay. So I've got to get hold of something, basically. You do. If anyone's listening to this and they have them, they can send it to us if you get in touch with us on the email I'll give you an address

to send them to the email address is thecheapshowpod at gmail.com thank you very much ladies and gentlemen it's time for the price of shite

it's the fucking price of shite what we always do the intro. Why are you against it now? Because it's... I think we should do a new one. I've got an idea for one.

Alright. What? It's more sort of... Conceptual. It's more kind of artistic. Alright. Hit me with it. This is going to be shit, I know.

It's going to sound like a wank, or it's going to sound like you having a stroke. Let me do it. Price. Scheit. What is it? It's very simple. I like it.

It's very simple. Sounds like an advert for perfume in the 80s. The price of Scheit. What is it? Sounds like an advert for perfume in the 80s Yes Le Brass of Shite What is it? Oh my pigeon has got scurvy Yeah alright fair enough Anyway so you've done it in the past It's about time I did it I think

You need to produce the shite I think I've got three brilliant bits of shite for you Because you know usually you complain at me that I buy stuff I just want for myself. Yes, that is a problem that has been dogging the show since day one. I'd like to think I've bought three things that I don't want. Except for one, actually, that I actually don't mind having. All right? Okay.

So. I think one of them you're going to love, by the way. And one of them you can take home with you. Oh, yeah. You're right. I'll save it for last as well. I love the price of shite. So.

So, what have we got here's the first one now remember i text you saying when's your birthday and then you didn't get back to me and then it doesn't matter yeah i bought this anyway the first price of shite today ladies and gentlemen is this it's a lucky birthstone for the aquarius if you'd like to read out what you're seeing eli okay so this is a lucky birthstone. It's a rock in a plastic bag. Yeah. And it's for Aquarius.

Yeah. Which is not my birth. No, I thought if it would have been, it would have been perfect. It would have been, but still. But I bought it anyway. So, it's Aquarius, January the 21st to February the 19th. Yes. And it has a little breakdown here on a sticker.

Maybe someone who's an Aquarius is listening now, and this could be great for them. So is this you? Spoiler, it's not. Best qualities, friendliness, independence, clear thinking. Let's just think of something fucking so vague. Friendliness. Oh, you know, I'm friendly.

It said everyone in the entire planet. It's so me. This lucky birthstone is a lucky load of shit. Best day for an Aquarius Saturday. Of all the days. Oh. Oh, that's so true. The best day is Saturday.

Isn't it? I think I might be an Aquarius, because I've got friendliness, independence, and clear thinking as well. Me too. I like Saturdays. Lucky numbers. 11, 3 and 4. Oh, lottery numbers for you.

Colours, grey, indigo, electric blue. Oh. Lucky birthstone, turquoise or moonstone. So that must be this. That must be a moonstone. Yeah, this is a moonstone. It's quite an attractive pebble. Yeah.

Planet, Uranus. Or Saturn. And on the back, Eeyore, or Saturn. And on the back, using your lucky birthstone. So, how do you use it? How does one use this rather than just throwing the shit right away? Make yourself

comfortable, either sitting or lying. Okay. Right. Breathe deeply, taking slow, deep breaths. Okay. Breathe out all stress and negativity. Breathe in peace and tranquility. Visualise this as pure white light.

When fully relaxed, concentrate on the area of the heart and breathe in love and healing energy. Allow this to fill your entire body. Focus on your stone and direct its energy to any

specific pain or discomfort in your body and let it fill you with positive health. What a load of fucking wank. This is one of the worst things I've ever seen.

Aren't you proud of me? Yeah. That is shite and a half Mr Gannon. Again there will be pictures on our website. It's a lucky birthstone. Lie down and rub the stone on your on our website it's a lucky birth stone lie down and rub the stone on your stomach is what it's basically saying

yeah and then relax but we're not here to judge it we're here to price it so how much do you think I paid for that

now was this it was a charity shop it was mine everything I got was from charity shops this was mine

funnily enough. I can't imagine it going for more than 50p, so I'm going to say 50p. Okay, and the pointing system is two points if you're spot on, one point if you're within 50p of the right answer. All right? So you say 50p for this? I'm saying 50p for that. Okay.

Item number two, then. All right. Comes that. Okay. Item number two then. All right. Comes wrapped. Ooh. So I'm just going to let you wrap it and explain what it is you're looking at. Is it some fish and chips? No. Ah, now, here is a half pint glass.

Ah, this is a nice item. Isn't this a nice item? This is a drinking glass, Fanta branded. Yes, like the Coca-Cola ones. Yeah. It's better. Yeah, it is. It glass Fanta branded. Yes, like the Coca-Cola ones. Yeah, it's better. Yeah, it is. Better, basically. Because this has got the Fanta logo embossed,

but it also has this sort of curly fruit... Orange. Orange... Motif. Motif going over the whole glass. Yeah. That's very nice. That is very nice.

Yes. 75p. Oh, 75p is a very nice, that is very nice. Yes. 75p. Oh 75p is a very good interesting price. Yeah I'll say 75p then. Yeah you like that do you? I think that's really nice yeah. Yeah so I think I got, I can't remember where I got that from, I want to say scope but I can't remember. And that would be perfect for putting some Fanta in and then getting diabetes. Yeah if you fill that with orange juice that would look perfect for putting some Fanta in it and then getting diabetes. Yeah, if you fill that with orange juice, that would look quite pretty, I think. Quite magical. I don't think it's been cleaned as it might. Well, it can be cleaned.

It can be cleaned. But obviously, I'll clean it before I use it. And it's a good item, that, yeah. So 75p, you're saying? I'm saying 75p, yeah. Okay. And your final one today. Right, are you ready?

Yes. I want you to close your eyes. Okay. And put your one today. Right, are you ready? Yes. I want you to close your eyes. Okay. And put your hand down. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, you're going to like this. Oh, God. Here we go.

Here you go. And open them. Wow. Oh, that's so cool. You could have them as well if you wanted. Thank you very much. So explain what you're seeing to the audience who don't have eyes. This is City Erasers.

It is a card with some little buildings which are pencil erasers in. So you've got the London Eye. Yeah, London Eye. A Ferris wheel. You've got some pools, I think that's meant to be. Yeah. You've got Big Ben, House of Parliament. Look, kids.

And you've got also two of the towers from Battersea Power Station. Isn't that great? That's a lovely, lovely novelty eraser. And you know how much I love those. I know. I've got like a sandwich one. Yeah. But this is unusual in that it doesn't seem to be originating in Japan.

No. Because you get most of these ones originating in Japan, don't they? Yeah. All of the novelty rubbers. And I have some antique ones in my collection. Yes. Have you seen that? The little cassette player one.

Is that antique? The cassette player is... That is a great item. It's beautiful. I like the fact that a little cassette goes in it as well. The cassette comes out. It's the touch. It's the touch of magic. That makes it different from. It's beautiful. I like the fact that a little cassette goes in it as well. The cassette comes out. It's the touch. It's the touch of magic.

That makes it different from just your common old garden. I haven't got a very good example, but there's one of those rubbers that is like one of the Nintendo watch and games. Oh, yeah. With a little lenticular bit. But the lenticular's totally gone on mine. I know.

You can't have it all. Sometimes... If you see those, you just snap them up. I want them up i want them i want them so bad i want it so bad i want them so bad i like so i need to there's the price of this shite yeah yeah now i got these from oxfam and oxfam a bit pricey they are pricier i'd say this could go i can go as high as um i'm gonna say one £1, I'm thinking £1.60, £1.50, £1.60 let's split the difference, £1.55

ok £1.55 for the city of razors so remember it's two points for being spot on one point for being at 50p out either way, so we're going to start with the stupid piece of shit birthstone the pebble, the hippie pebble

good for putting in a fish tank. You said? 50p. You are absolutely spot on. That was 50p. Spot on. Two points. Thank you.

Excellent. So there you go. That's been the bin. The fantaglass. I said 75p. It was £1.25. Oh, I'm way out there. I'm going to give you it because it's 50p over.

So I'm going to give you a point for that. So three points in all so far. That's not bad. What did you say for the final erasers? £1.55, I said, for the erasers. You're looking at me like I'm way off now. Can I just say, they are designed by Suck It UK, made in China. These erasers.

I just wanted to say Suck It UK is a great name for a company. That's good, yeah. I wouldn't advise sucking the erasers, though. No, they'd probably ruin it. Quite bad for you. These were exactly one pound. So you get a point again. So overall, four points today for playing the erasers.

But you take over the erasers for your collection today. They will have pride of place in my eraser collection. Thank you very much, Paul. Excellent. So we're going to be back for our Christmas, but not really Christmas special. Don't call it a special.

We shouldn't call it a special. It's going to be an episode that goes out just before Christmas. Which will have elements. A bit. A soupçon of Christmas in it. A sprinkling of Christmas. God, I hate it. I hate it. Anyway sprinkling of Christmas. Oh, God. I hate it.

I hate it. Anyway, thanks for listening to Cheap Show. Thank you. If you liked it, subscribe, share. Tell people how great we are. If you didn't like it, then don't tell anyone this. Keep it to yourself. If you didn't like it, tell a lot of people that you don't like it.

That would still maybe increase the traffic. Yeah, maybe. They might go, you hate us. You can't be that shit march on us yeah furries unite so you can follow us

on twitter just apologise to the furries again I don't I love you furries never jacket it never anyway follow us on twitter

at thecheapshowpod email us thecheapshow theche us thecheapshow.co thecheapshow at gmail.com and where if we want to see the photos of the items that we've discussed today

where would we go Paul? we could go to our website thecheapshow.co.uk it's all there subscribe subscribe or die rate and release we love you

witty thing to say no that's no you cannot you cannot do that. Don't do that. Witty man. No. You're the opposite. That was the wittiest man in the world. you