CheapShow - Ep 322: Live from The Leicester Comedy Festival 2023

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

For some strange reason, Paul and Eli have decided to take CheapShow out of London and perform a live show at The Leicester Comedy Festival. Recorded on Sat 25th Feb at The Firebug Bar in Leicester, the Cheap Chaps bring their usual rude, rowdy and unruly antics to the horror of a real, live audience! They are also joined by comedian and CheapShow alumni Tom Mayhew who will probably regret coming the moment he sets foot on stage. It’s (almost) an hour of mad rants, unusual Moog tunes, Price of Shite items and even some visual gags that don’t quite translate to an audio format! A typical noisy s***show! Luckily, we filmed it too, you don’t need to miss out on the action and pointless visual material! You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/CNSt755QbYI See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-322-leicester-comedy-festival-2023 (Thanks to Sacha, Cameron, Leyton & Mark for uses of their pictures from the show!) And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid With special thanks to guest Tom Mayhew @TomMayhew and to the organisers @TripleCeePee & @FirebugBar at The Leicester Comedy Festival. Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Catch Up With Urinevision 2021: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-232-urinevision-2021 MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow NEW ART: Get hold of Spunk.Rock’s exclusive new CheapShow Artwork: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/CHEAPSHOW-EST-2016-by-spunkrock/115961855.WFLAH.XYZ www.instagram.com/spunk__rock Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello! It's a very special episode this week, isn't it Mr. Silfman? Don't walk away! I'm here, hello. Hi everyone. Hi Paul. Hello Eli. I've just been over there. You've just been over there exploring the woodlands. We're in Regent's Park. Mmm. Yeah. You've got nothing, have you? You've got nothing.

Just keep it cool, man. Yeah, keep it chill, fella. Right, so, hello. This is a very special episode this week because it's not our regular nonsense. This one comes from the live show we did this past weekend. I mean, you say it's not our regular nonsense. It's even more nonsensical in places. It's a bit of a shit show, is what I'm trying to get to.

But it's a glorious, cheap show flavoured live shit show. And we hope you enjoy it. We do, yes, we do. Thanks for... You really teed that one up for me, Paul, thanks. I just... Yeah. What? Fucking hell. You've really got nothing this morning. This morning?

This afternoon. It's my morning, because I don't get up till middays. Yeah, you flippin' night owl, you. But it's all right. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Anyway, so we just wanted to say thank you to the people who ran the venue at Firebug. They were very accommodating. Thank you to the organisers who helped us get there on the night.

Sticky, sticky Firebug. Sticky Firebug. Thank you to the Leicester Comedy Festival for having us. And thank you to all 100 of you who crammed into that venue and saw us do one hour of nutty nonsense yeah guys thanks

cool keep it relaxed keep it chill oh the sun's coming hey oh the sun's coming that is nice oh the sun is breaking through

warming my face yeah man I'm doing Neil from the fucking oh what do you want me to say then nothing don't say nothing then if you're not going to say anything I ain't going to say nothing why What do you want me to say then? Nothing. Don't say nothing then. If you're not going to say anything...

I ain't going to say nothing! Why don't you fuck off to a tree? I'm going to go out by this tree. You just finish. Right, so while Eli goes and fucks off by that tree, I'm going to finish you off. So all you need to know is that it's the usual nonsense, but there are a few visual gags in this show

that don't quite translate. Oh, you're back. Oh, yeah, that's what we were going to say. There are some visual bits, everybody, in this show that don't quite translate. Oh, you're back. Oh, yeah, that's what we were going to say. There are some visual bits, everybody, in the show that don't quite translate to the audio format. So ignore those if you listen to this version, but you can see the video version of this episode online. We're doing our best to get it up as soon as possible.

It might be out as this episode goes out, or it might be there a few days later but we'll put links up on our social medias when the video is available and yes you can then watch the show as well as listen to the show ah

right so with no more further ado let's just get straight into it this is recorded on Saturday the 25th of February at the Leicester Comedy Festival at the Firebook venue. Let the show begin.

Enjoy, everyone. Thanks. Keep it relaxed. Yeah, chill, man. Groovy. See you next week. Bye. Paul, Paul. Paul, we've got to do this show. Paul, don't whistle. I'm nervous. I always whistle when I'm nervous. No, you're not. You never whistle. It's bullshit. I'm not whistling. I'm nervous. I'm fucking sick always whistle when I'm nervous No you're not You never whistle It's bullshit

I'm fucking sick of you I'm sick of this bullshit Oh fuck off You're fucking trotting I will fucking You fucking quit then I'm fucking I'll quit

I'm gonna quit I don't wanna quit Fuck you I'm a professional I'm not doing this You fuck off I'm not fucking doing this Quit then

Quit then Right before a big show You're gonna quit I don't give a shit Quit then baby Quit then Ah there you go. Fuck off.

Right, that means I can bring in my plan B. Hello, I am DinoDroid3000. Hello, DinoDroid3000. Eli Silverman has quit the show and I'd like you to fill in for him tonight. I have several fillers, including a hot oil injection from the chrome camel lips. Bong, bong. There's just one thing I need you to do before we go on stage. Me and Eli have a little bit of a ritual that we do beforehand.

Robo. And it involves you. Dino droid. It involves dino droid plugging in his foam hand. Oh, fuck off. Oh, it's Eli, is it? It's always wanked off by whatever it is. Yeah, well, why don't you cut to the chase, mate?

We don't have time for this, Paul. We do. It takes me about 10 seconds to come. We've got plenty of time. I can do 10. You're like JFK. I can do 10 right now before I'm on stage. You're like JFK.

I'll be Robo Marilyn. Robo Marilyn. Happy birthday, Mr. President. I am Robo JFK. Sent from the future. No, honestly, we've got to get out of here. All right, let's go then. All right, I've got something planned for the intro. Get this all sorted we've got to get... All right, let's go then. All right, I've got something planned for the intro.

Get this all sorted and out of the way. All right, cool, let's do it. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Cheap Show time. Take it away, Jimmy! You're alright mate, here's your microphone. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the team show! Yeah! Eli Silfman everybody, the most handsome man in the world. Thanks for coming.

Paul Gannon everybody! He's there. Eli Silver everybody, the most handsome man in the world. Thanks for coming. Paul Gannon everybody. He's there. We've got this song. I'm just waiting. I'm waiting to fucking hear it. No. Fuck it.

One, two, three, four. A fucking hell. A fucking hell. It's only the cheap show. So sit back, relax, get out your cheap snacks. We've probably mentioned funk, we've got a load of jungle. Fucking hell, fucking hell, fucking hell, fucking hell. Oh, it's only the cheap show.

We're going to be fucking rude because we never get reviewed Cos it's only the Chief Show Right, so what have we got? I'm out of breath already. You always are. No, we'll start with... What's going on? Your Silverman's Platter thing. All right.

Silverman's Platter, and then we're going to do... What about guests? Don't we have some kind of guests? Yeah, we're going to sort that out in a minute. Calm down and get excited. We haven't rehearsed this enough. That's all. also doing the price of shite yay that's all right isn't it but we can't do it alone so ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage our guest today tom mayhew tom mayhew everybody tom how you doing mate you? You all right? Looking forward to it? It is on. You're just going to speak into it like a big monster.

It wasn't on, you twat. It doesn't matter, does it? One, two, three. Fucking hell. Ow! Fucking hell. It's only the Jeep Show. So sit back, relax, get out your cheap snacks.

We've got a load of junk, Eli will mention Spunk and fuck it out. Fuck it out. Fuck it out. Fuck it out. Oh, it's only the Cheap Show. We can afford to be crude because we never get reviewed. Because it's only the Chief Show What have you been doing?

That's it. I'm going to go over there. You need to go. Give us that. Where are you going to go? Here we go. Brought him on for no real fucking reason. He's got to do the chorus one last time.

Just put your word. Get your fucking balls in it. What do you mean, get my balls in it? A fucking hell.? Fucking hell. Fucking hell. It's only the cheap show. So sit back, relax, get out your cheap snacks. I've got a load of junk.

Fucking hell. Fucking hell. Fucking hell. Fucking hell. We're only the cheap show I think I've had enough of it And Eli needs to shit Cos it's only the cheap show

No wait, there's no more song! That's it, no it fades out now, we're alright We're alright mate Yeah? My lyrics crashed anyway so I didn't fucking need a load of Wengster wank Are you alright though, though, Paul? No, I'm going to have a stroke. I mean, you joke about that, but we're...

No, it's fine. Just catch your breath there. Good night! That's all we can fucking do. Hello! Welcome to Cheap Show Live at the Leicester Comedy Festival! Yay! So, out of interest, who came to see 300?

Yeah, this isn't going to be as good as that. It's definitely not. No. No characters, unless you want to do one now, Eli. I'm thinking something like Crispy. Crispy Evans. Are you inventing one right now? Crispy Tim Evans. All right, go on. Ladies and gentlemen, a brand new character for Cheap Show,

Crispy Tim Evans. Mate, that works really good for an audio podcast, so just keep doing that. It's really funny when you do that. Are you going to let me work? I'm sorry, I can't. Can't what? Work?

I can't work. I was doing something. I'll tell you what. It was working. Go on, go on, go on. Right. This is Crispy Tim Evans, everyone. A work in progress.

Fuck, fuck! Woo! This is Crispy Tim Evans, everyone. A work in progress. Crispy denim rub rubs. I've got nothing, Paul. Please come back. Please. Okay? Just calm down. I'm Eli Silverman and I'm the specialist boy

in the whole fucking world and everything I do turns to fucking shit. Doesn't it? No. Anyway, hello, welcome to Coming Out. You come a long way. Yeah, where'd you come from? Hartlepool.

Great, moving on. I'm not going to do crowd work. Most of them know us, and most of them know not to speak to us in public. So we're all right. Why don't we do it here? Are you okay, though, really? No. No. Generally, I think you'm about to tap out mentally.

I know. I think you did. Anyway, we've got a lot of fun for you coming up in the show today. What have we got? What have we got coming up? In the song, I explained it. Very clearly in the song.

I think it was very obvious what we're getting up to. We're going to start with Silverman's Platter. Ah. Good. Can I show them? Oh. Good. Can I show them? Oh, yeah. Can I show them? Very quickly, we had a few hours today, so we were going around with the charity shops. Very good. Different from London prices, isn't it?

Cos you go in and you get a little mug and it's, like, £7 from a place in London. This place, 50p. Oh, we're living in a magical world. But, Eli, what? Look what you got. Look at this. What's he called? Spunky Edward.

What's he called? It's a Toby joke. Old Mac or something. Old Mac. Stingy Jean. She's just a girl who thinks that I am the one. No, that's Billie Jean. Oh, right.

This is Stingy Jean. Look, you could get... I mean, it could... Anyway, this was really good. It was a quid, and we've looked online, and it's 20 quid online for this. No, no, no. And it's mint on card.

It's crazy prices up here. It's not mint on card. Absolutely crazy prices. You could fill it with spunk. It is a cup, and it's got a spout. Spunk spout. Why would you need to dish out spunk after it's filled the receptacle?

There's all sorts of reasons why you'd have to do that. To skip around the garden and drip it in like this as you go. Huh? Well done, that's definitely a character we do. Mate, can I do one piece of hack stand-up thing? Yeah. And sleep.

Why would you do that? I like doing it. I hate when you do that. I always have. I hate when you exist on a daily basis. Your ongoing existence makes my cock sad. Don't. You're doing it all again.

The tropes. Just exist for a moment. Let's just exist for a moment. Let's just exist for a moment. Here, open wide. Oh, Eli's dribble. All spunk in your mouth. I got these. I got looking annuals from the past.

Cat weasel on the buses. Cat weasel, that's what my mug looks like. Sid James, wah, wah, wah, wah. Metal Mickey. Great content. We also, Paul also found this crisp-based novelty record. Smith's Crisp. Smith's.

They do the salt and shake, don't they? Yeah. They do the shake and back,'t they Yeah They do the shake and Vodka put the freshness back What's the album single called It's called Smith's twist and turn on Potato twists

We've all heard it Did they used to do like Salt and vinegar twist Didn't they They're good aren't they I don't know You're off it again In your own little Eli land

What It's not Eli land It's crisps. Do you remember really, really good crisps? Everyone loves fucking crisps and noodles and sauces. Exactly. So shut up. Sauces, everyone.

Yes. Can we get on with it, please? He's doing visual stuff, everyone, for the audio podcast now. I've been cancelled by Eli. I'm going to get Crispy Tim out in a second. You're going to get who? Crispy Tim. What does he do?

No, wiggle your leg. Why is he crispy in his leg? Because he gets arthritis in it. It's crispy. He was a big Michael Jackson fan. He's trying to do the hee-hee. Shall we get on with the show? Hee-hee.

Yeah, let's do that. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back onto the stage our guest for the show tonight, Tom Mayhew. Come on, Tom. Oh, hello, fella. It's all right. We won't bite. Hello. It's working now. We won't bite. Hello.

It's working now. I'm Crispy Nigel. Hey! Fucking plagiarism up here. Both of you. No, to be fair, just, I'm Crunchy Bob. I love this.

I think we should do the whole... Forget the show. Let's just do... All right, let's stand at the front and do this for an hour. Let's do it. Oh, I'm Crunchy! Oh!

I'm Crunchy Phil! I'm Crunchy! I'm Crunchy Phil! I'm Crunchy! What was that? I'm coming round here! I'm coming over here! I'm Crunchy Phil!

Please stop with all of this shit. I think that was worth every penny, that, I think. Mr Crunchy Phil. Oh. Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Are we going to play the stage? Mr. Crunchy Phil. Please stop with all of this shit. I think that was worth every penny, that.

I think, uh... Mr. Crunchy Phil. Oh. Are we gonna play the... Stop coming up with adjective-based characters. All right? I don't want, like, Slapdash Alan. Slappy Bag Philip.

Yeah, you enjoy yourself. Can we just do the next bit, please? Plump, clam, pam. No, you've ruined it. You've ruined the moment there. Good, I thought that was the magic. So, Tom, what we're going to do tonight is we're going to do a kind of different Silverman's Platter. Eli likes moog.

Actually, it's pronounced moog. It's not, it's moog, yeah. Yeah, even he said, I don't give a fuck what you call it. Who, Mr Moog? Mr Moog. Yeah, but you call him Mr Moog. Yeah, because he's Mr Moog.

You don't mess with Mr Moog. You don't mess with Mr Moog. You don't mess with Mr Moog. Okay, I won't. All. Moog. Yeah, because he's Mr. Moog. You don't mess with Mr. Moog. You don't mess with Mr. Moog. You don't mess with Mr. Moog. Okay, I won't. All right, good. Have you heard of Sabotnick? Who? Sabotnick.

He's another synth pioneer. Is he one of your characters? It could be. Oh, my name is Sabotnick. He's a real guy. He's a real guy, Sabotnick. And he developed an early synth just like Moog did. Hang on.

Mention him. Thank you for that, Eli. We're going to carry on. So we've got four tracks for you, the all Moog tracks, right? All we want you to do is listen to the track and tell me what you think the cover is. If you think you know out there, we'll be asking you to chip in. Not the cover.

He's not being very clear. That's not like Paul at all. Jesus. Let me just update that garbled mishmash that came out of his silly mouth. It is silly, yeah. It's really silly, your mouth. You need to be careful about which side you pick. Professionally and from a friendship point of view as well.

Because if you want to side with him, I'm not going to stop you. But I will destroy you. Inside and out. How? Exactly. I don't know. You don't know. I can't think of anything witty that isn't offensive.

Like chlamydia. Look, when you... Wait, what? Hold on, what? I don't know. We need to skip through this because we're already running late. We're running out of time. Just one little tip.

When you go blank like that and you can't think of anything on stage, just think of, like, I don't know, an adjective. And then think of someone's name. Fishy. And then John or something. Fishy John. There we go. Hello, I'm Fishy John.

Yay! I can't fucking believe it. So, I will explain it. Quickly. There are four versions of songs, famous numbers, popular standards, which have been rendered in the format of... Oh, yeah, this is much clearer, Eli.

No, it actually is. But it actually is, Paul. Moog. Moog versions of songs. You just have to guess what the song is. It's that simple. Here's the first one we've got for you. It's from a album called Country Moog,

switched on Nashville. And I had to delete the answer because it was on the album cover. So now it says Fog My Mug. But here is what we want you to listen to. Hope you can listen at home as well. Come on, you know it. Paul, do you know it yet? I'll give you a clue.

Er, is it... Is it the Paul does a camp dance song? I don't know. I could do interpretive dance as well. Well, that was good. I thought I liked that. Right, what was that song? It's easy to say I can do it on an audio podcast. Yeah, that's true, but I'm not consistent.

What song was that? What was that? I have no fucking clue, mate. What was it supposed to be? You don't know what that was? Does anyone in the audience think they know? No. What?

A fucking great feature, lads. Jesus, we're telling you. All right, yeah, we'll do it. Hang on one sec. I'm just going to do a... All right, here we go. Imagine he's bald. Patting the bald man on the head. Imagine he's bald.

Sexually assaulting Paul. Paul is terrifying. Imagine he's like a big... Yay! It's Yackety Sax! But on Moog. Oh, that one I definitely know. You know, the Benny Hill thing. Yeah, okay.

Yackety Moog Sax! I didn't have time to do a nice graphic so I just used a post-it note. That's good, yeah. Yeah, it's nice. Next track. Oh. This is from Go Moog.

Smash it, synthesizer style, three exclamation marks. Look, it's a coconut with a Moog inside it. Yeah. And I've once again edited the answer, so now it says Momo Pachooey. Back off, Boogaloo. Right, here's the track. What is this? Oh, mother!

Oh, mother! This feels like a bad fever dream at the moment, to be honest. I don't quite know what's going on. I don't know. Oh, it faded out just before the chorus. No, I don't know. Does the audience know? Does the audience know?

Wig Wampum is the correct answer. I don't know that song. I don't know that song. Can I just ask a question, Tom? When were you born again? 91. Yeah, he's not going to know any of these fucking songs at all. These are all from the 70s.

Yeah, there we go. Wig, wham, bam. Who did wig, wham, bam? I think it was like a 60s... You don't even know! You do not even know! Does anyone know? Sweet.

Sweet. It's a lovely story about an indigenous American girl chatting up a man. And she says, wig, wham, bam, I'm going to chatting up a man. And she says, like she goes, wig-wam-bam, I'm going to make you my man. Wam-bam-bam, I'm going to catch you if I can. Wig-wam-bam, I'm going to make you understand. Try a little touch, try a little too much. Just try a little wig-wam-bam.

OK. Completely inappropriate. But if I was chatting you up and I went, wig-wam-bam, would you be turned on? What about you? Wigwam bam. Yeah, that works, actually, yeah. It's quite good.

No, you've already tried it on me. Paul, I thought I made it clear. Wigwam bam. Yay! Guaranteed sex machine. Next one. This one comes from Switched on Moog. The Moog Machine. What's a Moog machine, Eli?

A Moog machine is a synthesiser. LAUGHTER I mean, he's not wrong. It doesn't say Moog... Oh, it says Switched on... This is the thing they do with all of these Moog, these sort of easy listening Moog records. It's always Switched On. That's code for Moog.

Right. Trendy. Like Switched On Bach. Yeah. Switched On Gas Cooker. Yeah. Switched On Telly. No, it's usually a type of music after the Switched On bit. Switched On gas cooker. Yeah. Switched on telly. No, it's usually a type of music after the switched on bit.

Switched on telly. Switched on radio. That's music, isn't it? Yeah, it could be, yeah. Switched on stereo. Yes. Try and think of a genre of music. I can't.

Like switched on classical. Switched on classical. Switched on pop. Switched on pop. Switched on bubblegum pop. Switched on classical. Switched on classical. Switched on pop. Switched on pop. Switched on bubblegum pop. Switched on pop. Top boss mod. Wigwam bam.

Right, anyway, here is the track we want you, Tom, to identify. Switched on rock, man. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, fucking hell! Oh, yeah! Oh, no! Is... Now, that's a very good clue, despite obvious first impressions.

Oh! Oh, fucking hell. You're right. I've never before... It's Bruce Forsythe. I've never before felt that Eli should be on TikTok till now, but... What have you got? What do you think?

I don't know, mate. You have no clue? Does anyone else know out here, then? Jumping Jack Flash, mate! Jumping Jack Flash, mate! I wasn't bored, mate. Jeez. Oh, so what?

You don't know any pop culture past 1990, then? No, famously not, no. Do you know Terminator? What? Oh, he's a lost cause. Switched on Terminator. Do you like Ben 10? Yes, I love it.

Yeah, he knows Ben 10. Right. What's Ben 10? I love Ben 10. He's a kid of a watch and shit. He has a watch and he can turn into anything. It's like Green Lantern, but with a watch, basically. Is he green?

Yeah. He's a bit green. He's a bit green. Green behind the ears because he's only a little lad, but he's on big adventures weekly on Cartoon Network. Is that a thing? Shut up. When you're born and you're a little baby...

I'm not interested in having a conversation about Ben 10. Are you green behind the ears? Is that even a thing? Yeah, green behind the ears means you're young and a novice at something. Yeah? Are you having a moment where you're... Yeah, not green, you fucking... I'm wondering, green behind the ears? What are you talking about?

You're dead when you're green behind the ears. You're a fucking corpse, Paul. Yeah, Paul... Thank you, Jesus Christ. Fuck me. I'm thinking I'm going mad here. You are. I think I've chosen my side, mate.

I think I'm going to go with Eli on this. Come over. Come over to the side. I don't blame you. He's treading on thin water over there, man. And the last one comes from the maestro, Wendy Carlos. This is a collection of classical things and pop hits that have been renewed for the Moog generation and

this is the track you're gonna have to guess it's the best one yet Oh, is it What's New Pussycat? Yeah! You've got it! Petwing! Petwing! One Petwing for the guest. I mean, I only know it because it was a mid-90s sitcom,

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Oh, no, fair enough. I don't mind how you know. The fact you know has saved your reputation for the sake of this show. Did they do a version of it on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Yeah, this is the pussycat. All about how it clanged onto my face last night and then it rubbed a little bottom on the top of my nose

and that's why I've got shit on my clothes. Dum-ch-ch-ch, dum-dum-ch. In West Croydon, I wasn't born. Liverpool closer, but that's a bit boring. West Croydon? I don't born. Liverpool closer, but that's a bit boring. West Croydon? I don't know. I mean, I bloody love that. I'll be honest, mate. I was doing all Eminem

8 Mile then. You know, I was rapping. I was dis-rapping. Eli with your hat. It's blue as your balls. I can't believe you go outside without being told you're a Paul Ling. It's good stuff. Do you mean blue balls or do you mean wet balls? That's what I want to...

He's a bit blue behind the balls is what I'm getting at, alright? Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to move on. Green balls ball, green balls. Green balls. We've got half an hour and two hours worth of content to do, so let's get through this.

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of the night where we go from one segment to another, and this segment you know very well. It is The Price of Shite. Please join us in our hymn, Stand Up. Fuck it, why not? Stand up! Stand up if you can, stand up!

For hymn number one. I didn't know we were going to do this. I don't know either. I don't know what we're doing. We're just going to do The Price of Shite, the traditional one. Ready? It's the fucking Price of Shite. It's the fucking Price of Shite.

It's the fucking Price of Shite. Oh, it's the fucking Price of Shite. That's right. That's right, everybody. Betwing's in the house. Betwing's going to come down. They're going to be raining. Raining Betwings.

This is your chance, mate, to get loads of Betwings. I'm telling you. Yes, instead of payment, we're sending you home with Betwings tonight. They're worth their weight in gold. They're like NFTs. But as worthless and as risky to your livelihood to have them. weight in gold. They're like NFTs. But it's worthless and it's risky to your livelihood to have them. So we're going to play this with the audience

tonight, so you're going to get involved as well. Yeah. Oh, God. Have you just lost energy? Paul, do you know what I've got? I've got one of those Thai Red Bulls.

Proper. It's proper stuff. The ones that the bouncer said you couldn't bring in because they thought it was, like, illegal booze from somewhere. And you're like, no, it's my energy drink. It's my sucker. I need it to exist. I can't get it out of the bag. Mate, forget about it at this point. I need it!

We're not spending five minutes, you drinking red bull. Unit, listen, just get on with it. I'm getting it out of the bag. Right, okay, in that case, I'll get on with it. Fuck. Right, so we're going to play the Price of Shite. Now, what's going to happen is we've got five items on the show today. I think it's actually six.

How many? Six. Okay. We've got six items, and you just have to guess whether the item that comes after is higher or lower than the one you saw before. You get a betwing for every correct one, but if you want, you can double it by guessing the price, and if you're close with all the usual rules, betwings apply. The usual rules are 25p either way, one betwing.

On the nose, two betwings. Yes. Are you ready? As I'll ever be. I mean, I always feel bad for guests on this show because they come here and they go, oh, I should be at home. You know, I should be at home watching rugby.

I don't know what kids do. Right, okay, here's the first item. These are all sorts over the past few weeks from P.O. Boxers and charity shops and multiple and all sorts. But here's the first one. Who should I be with? It's a card game.

Cards to help you identify a good enough love match. Good enough. Good enough because you shouldn't have, you know, fantasies about them being great. They just have to be good enough. It's just good enough. I'm just hoping for a good enough day. Yeah, a good enough day.'s just good enough. I'm just hoping for a good enough day. Yeah, a good enough day. Good enough shit.

No, I mean, that's really on the nose, Paul. I mean, I've smelt it. It has really been on the nose. No, I had the hurty waters today, the terrible hurty waters. Mate, buy it a coffee because I can shit in Costa. It was that kind of a day. It was a terrible, terrible thing.

Fizz pellets. Bar thing. Fizz pellets. Barbed wire fizz pellets. Swimming in the hurty waters. Anyway, so this is by a company that we've had on the podcast before when they did the Dilemma game called The School of Life. They are called The School of Life, yes. Boo. And they have a YouTube channel which is hot garbage. Want to be healthy and happy? Be middle class and well off. Boom. And they have a YouTube channel, which is hot garbage. Want to be healthy and happy?

Be middle class and well off. Yes. Sorted. That's kind of the thing. But these are all... So the idea that this is gamers, you're meant to pull out cards that have signifiers of traits that your potential partner might have,

and it breaks it down into positives and negatives. And you can make a guess on it if you think they're good enough to be a partner. But some of them are found really strange, like this card, hypochondriac. If the person you love is a hypochondriac, will take colds very seriously, pleasures of playing nurse, as imaginative in other areas as they are about germs.

Positives of dating a hypochondriac. What? Negatives, get this, self-absorbed, may in fact die very young. If you don't mind them dying straight away, and you're never allowed to be ill. What? But look, we'll take your colds very seriously. Yeah, it's like, oh, you've got a sniffle, it's the plague. You're never allowed to be ill. So it's not only is it annoying,

it's completely contradicting itself on the same fucking card! Am I allowed to be ill? Oh, oh! Do you see what I'm getting at here? Sadly. We'll take your cold seriously, which implies to me, Paul, that

they'll be taking, that they will be allowing you to be ill! Do you want to make this point for the next ten minutes? I would like to continue with this point. Stop. So the next card. Just randomly thought I'd pick out some cards. Fucking shit. Messy house. Someone who's messy.

They have higher things on their mind. Unbothered by what other people think. Secure and not to need perfection. Vacuuming can wait. Negatives. The fine line between elegant bohemianism and squalor. Outwardly expressive of incompetence. Frightening. What does frightening mean?

I hate this and the people behind it. I hate them. Just randomly picked another card out again. Not so focused on work. Maybe someone you're in a relationship with some way isn't very focused on work. Can't think of anyone myself. Fuck off.

Healthy recognition that not much else matters. Rounded. Hold. Fuck off. More time for you. However, negatives. They are jealous of your ambitions. Disguise their laziness as a sincere protest against capitalism.

What? The children may go hungry. I hate our gods! Our gods! Last card. Perverted. An exhilarating disregard for prudish norms, playful and imaginative.

No need to feel shame around them. You know you're unconsciously better than you. Negatives. Could this get out of hand? Might this be a sickness? An occasionally alarming disregard for the rules of civilisation. They're big

statements. But how much? Just this is your first card. This is your first item. So all you've got to do is right now have a rough guess at what you think that price is. Okay. And do the people buying it know they're basically Eli's Tinder profile or not? Yeah.

Okay. I'd say about 75p. Oh, these are London prices. 75p. Who's got... You. Random price. Shout. Two pounds.

I think that's closer. You. Shout. I don't know who I'm looking at. It's dark. You. Glasses lady. Pants.

Pound. Oh, a pound. I thought she was being rude. The price is? Two pounds. Pound. Oh, a pound. I thought she was being rude. The price is? £2.50. Ooh. You need to recalibrate now, mate, if you want the petwings.

No petwings. You need to recalibrate your whole thing, man. Next. That was a word. Next item. It's Eli. Eli, you found this, Eli. What is it? I did, it's here, look. You can see it in person. It's Eli. You found this, Eli. What is it?

I did. It's here, look. You can see it in person. It's a teddy bear. It's a teddy bear. You the man. You the man. You the man.

You the man. That's what he's thinking. I'm the man, because his dad superhero teddy bear is helping him to fly. His teddy bear face. It's a keepsake. What does that mean? Tat. You keep it. For the sake of keeping it It's a keepsake. What does that mean? Tat. You keep it

for the sake of keeping it. I don't know. What does that mean? Keepsake. It's got a real Fathers for Justice energy, this. It really does, mate. I think it's a Father's Day gift.

It's like, you can always imagine this with a big banner by London Bridge, can't you? It's that kind of vibe. But I need to know, Tom, is this higher or lower in price than the card game? Do you think this is higher or lower than the cards?

The shitty teddy. I mean, it's tinged with sadness, so I'm going to say lower. Lower, okay. Just give us a shout if you think lower. Lower, go with I. I. And higher, say I. Lower. Okay. Just give us a shout. If you think lower, go aye. Aye. And higher, say aye.

Aye. I thought, what are you doing? Getting the audience reaction. Yeah, but you said higher or higher, didn't you? Just there. I said higher or lower, say aye. Aye. From the bottom of the bag to the bottom of the drum.

Don't stop. Everybody else say aye. Aye. Red box. Now there's a fucking reference. Eat that, pop aye. Aye. Red box. Now, there's a fucking reference. Eat that, pop culture. Right, is it higher or lower than the £2.50 cards, Tom? Do you want to have a guess at the price before we reveal it?

This is your chance for your first between. Come on, it's a binary. It's a bloody binary, mate. A quid. A quid? You're saying a quid? Yeah. So you're saying lower?

He says lower already. He's already said lower. But I'm asking for a bonus between. Does he want to guess the price? You said a quid for a bonus between. That's all right, yeah. Yeah. So you're saying lower? He says lower already. He's already said lower. Oh, he's already said... I can't... But I'm asking for a bonus per twing. Does he want to guess the price? You said a quid for a bonus per twing. That's alright, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you've failed, but it's fine. Here we go. Is it higher or lower?

It's lower! Bloody hell! Piss! It's 150! I mean, frankly, you failed if you paid that for it, mate. Jesus Christ. Listen, I'm dedicated to this show, Paul. You are. Actually, you failed if you paid that for it, mate. Jesus Christ. Listen, I'm dedicated to this show, Paul. You are. Because you've got nothing else going on in your life.

Don't R him. This is not a fucking panto. Every fucking live show at some point. You never learn, though, do you? You bunch of bastards call me a fucking criminal. It's disgusting. You never learn, though, do you? You bunch of bastards call me a fucking criminal. It's disgusting. You never learn.

Next item, Tom. You're doing all right. That's one between. We've got one between. One between. Between. Thank you. Next item.

Oh, it's a Money Bank TV made of shit. There's a lot of porcelain and ceramicware on this episode, isn't there? It's what we like. Two ceramic items in a row, and this is a fake television. Yeah, just for coins. Showing the test card there. And just to give you an idea of what this does, beep!

Go to bed, Spotty. Young ones reference. Right. He was born in the 90s. So, it's a shit thing. It's got no gimmicks. It's just a shit square TV made of clay, painted, put money in. Is it higher or lower, Tom, than the item you've just seen?

Remember, it was £1.50. £1.50, higher or lower? Higher or lower? Higher or lower? Marvellous. Reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh, reh Higher or lower? Higher or lower? And that's why I usually edit game shows on telly, because Bruce would do that every single fucking take. Do you know what I mean? I'm going to go higher. Higher than £1.50.

Do you want to have a guess at the price while you're at it? Let's go £1.75. £1.75. £1.75. OK, what do you say? You, how much do you think right now? Go. Two quid. Two quid. Two quid. What was the impression of him? I was just being... You were doing an impression of that person.

You, how much? 75 pence. 75 pence! Right. Was that an impression of him? Yeah. I didn't know we were doing impressions of our audience who've come all this way and paid good money.

Well, you started it, you prick! I'm lovely. Look, stop with the violence! It's no violence! It is, it's implied, Well, you started it, you prick! I'm lovely. Look, stop with the violence! It's no violence! It is, it's implied though, isn't it? I know Tom's cowering at the side of the stage clicking to the wall. We're both here, we're both scared of what you might do.

Right. Here we go. Is it higher or lower than £1.50? Tom said higher. Tom said higher? Tom said higher. £1.75. Oh!

Bad luck. £1.75. Oh, £1. Oh, dear. Bad luck. No. Right, next item. Boop. Oh, look at these. You've got little droids there.

I got these for mine in Camden. They're in a big box. You could buy three of them for one price. How much is the... I don't understand what these are. Darth Maul and June? They're like cock warmers. They're like you could put...

One on each bollock and one on the end of your cock. That's R2-D2. That's Darth Maul and that's Blinky Blonky. What's this one? Blinky Blonky? Blinky Blonky.

BB8. BB8, thank you. Blinky Blonky. Blinky Blonky, of course. BB8. Blinky Blonky Blinky Blonky BB8 BB8 thank you Blinky Blonky Blinky Blonky of course BB8 Blinky Blonky 8 is the character's name

is there anyone who's mates with Luke Walky Walk as well are they all just no so three of them

but one price how much festival higher or lower than the TV do you think because I would have thought three for a quid But maybe they're a bit more

So maybe I'll go I'll go higher, I think they're going to be three for two quid 52 quid? No, three for two quid Three for two quid If they're 52 quid, then fucking hell mate, you've really lost it Higher, he says Two quid

Locking it into my databanks Have you given up already? I'm not giving up. I'm just... Why are you hobbiting on the side of the stage, then? With your special mead? Don't say I'm hobbiting. No, that's not a verb.

Well, you are hobbiting. To hobbit is not a verb. It's a... Well, stop hobbiting, then, and I'll stop saying that you're a hobbit. Anyway. Stop cunting. How about that, Paul?

Give us a cheer if you think it's higher. Give us a cheer if you think it's higher Give me a shout if you think it's lower Oh, we're so sad So you said higher and you said £2 for the lot But let's find out £4 Fucking what? £4 But you do get a between for saying higher

So that's two betweens How are the three items four quid? That would make them £1.33 recurring each, wouldn't it? There's something up with this. There's no one puts 33 in a third recurring as an actual price. Do they? I put it to you

that you've done some rounding one way or another on this. Alright, fucking Columbo. What happened was, it was meant to come to £4.50 and she went, right, fucking Columbo. It's just, what happened was, it was meant to come to 4.50, and she went, ah, four quid then. Like that. Why?

You were haggling in a charity shop. No, she just said four quid then. You disgust me. I didn't do nothing. You were like, knock off 50p. Go on. I'll break your legs on stage and have you crawl home.

You will break my legs? On stage? I'll hobbit you like in Misery. That's hobble, you twat. Yeah, not hobbit. Hobble. I will hobbitly hobble you like Misery. I'll go full Kathy Bates on you. Okay.

Yeah. Right, next item. You've got two betwings. You're doing all right. Next item is the Spitting Image giant comic book. Ooh. Ooh. I just want to go through a few pages very briefly.

I like this one because it's 80s politics. Look, there's Kinnock, and he's Welsh, you see, and he talks like very boring Welsh. Great satire coming out of this. It's basically like an annual, like, viz, but with spitting image characters and writers involved in it. How to make yourself look like Ronald Reagan. Squeeze your face.

Squeeze your face. And also be a psychopath helps as well, a doddery psychopath. And then Dr. Owen, was he in the SDP? Whatever that was. Yeah, and he's lonely. Oh, because he was only a small party. And that reaction from them is the exact reaction I got from reading the comic strip. But these are the ones all, look, the fat

chats. And it's like Brucie and Tarby and Bruce. Hello there, Terry. Hello. Hello there, Brucie. Welcome to the show. You know Kenny and Tarby. Hello, Tarby. Welcome to the show. I can't remember the voices. Tarby, Terry. And then they go can't remember the voices. Tarby, Terry,

and then they go golf and then they're all in bed. I would have liked to see a representation of some of their penises. Who do you think's got the biggest plonker out of Terry Wogan? Kenny Lynch. Brucey, man.

No, he's got a reputation. For what? I've never heard of Brucey, man. Brucey. No, he's got a reputation. For what? Having a... I've never heard of Brucey having a particularly long penis. Higher, lower. He can control it. Higher, darling. You get nothing for a game, not for a pair in this game or something. I knew I could get him started on this.

I'm just sitting here doing this on the stage, mate. Higher. I guarantee he said that in the bedroom, higher or lower, every time. Do you want to bet on it? You bet. What else did he do? What else did Brucey do? Generation gain. Die? Er... Nothing for repair.

Nothing for repair and the air, etc. The Fat and Useless, which is their spoof of Linkin Park. Nothing for a pair. Nothing for a pair and the air, etc. The Fat and Useless, which is their spoof of Little and Large. But actually, this is quite a good joke. Little and Large, the secret to great comedy is timing. That's right, timing. Oh, no, my dog's got no nose. How does it smell? They die. Stage door. Grave. Terrible! That's terrible. they die stage door

grave terrible that's terrible it is and finally maybe my favourite one Noel Edmonds speaking look at his

little robotic terribly psychopathic face it's like someone took the killer from the movie Valentine and gave him

an afternoon TV show it's just about him going on about TV and breakfast and in the afternoons and in quiz shows and in commercials and more game shows and chat shows and charity appeals and on and on and on. And then he says, oh, I have no talent. And then for some reason, a man with a gun just says, have a late breakfast in Valhalla, Noel, and just offloads his rifle into it.

Which seems to be a bit harsh, even for Noel. late breakfast in Valhalla, Noel, and just offloads his rifle into it. Which seems to be a bit harsh, even for Noel. I think that's, isn't that like a sort of pastiche of those war comics the guy looks like? Maybe. He's in black and white as well, so I think he's come from another part of the sort of comic metaverse. And it's not

Noel, it's Noly. He's saying Noly, mate. Noly. Oh, in Valhalla,, it's Noly. He's saying, Noly, mate. Noly. Oh, in Valhalla, Noly. Noly. It's still not what I was expecting the last panel of this to be. It's a frame-breaking device. Like, is he, like, a time-travelling soldier who has to travel through time killing all the... Like a Terminator...killing all the talentless presenters of their day?

Noel Edmonds. Yes? Pfft! Rise of the machines! Rise of the machines Rise off the machines No, just like the idea of Noel Edmonds Like being on the floor going no, no, no And then a blobby comes in Ten minutes left of the show

Right, so I mean, the simplest of ways you went Ten minutes left, Eli,. Right, so... I mean, the simplest of ways, you went, ten minutes left, Eli, Jesus. I want to keep it subtle. Ten minutes left of the show. Wow. So, Spitting Image, the giant comic book. It's actually a lovely little thing.

But how much did it cost? Ah. How much did it cost? Oxfam in Muscle Hill. What's the between count? Two between so far. Did it come with the three? Well, he's got that one between from before, though.

Yeah, two. He's got two betwings. No, he's got one from before, though. Oh, so three all in. On aggregate. Three from the Moog thing. All right, no. Did it come with the three sensational spitting image face masks?

Well, I'll show you, because I've got it in here. I was meant to pull the props out, but fuck it. Yeah, it comes with face masks that you can cut out. Oh, okay. Oh, that's good. It's nice. Mint on card. You can be the queen, and then whoever that man is,

and then a big pair of glasses. Well, it's got to be lower than four quid. I'm going to say definitely lower. Lower than four quid? And what the price? What the price? Maybe a quid? A quid? Wait, how many? What the price? How many books? Maybe a quid? A quid?

Wait, how many were there? Just the one book. There it is. It's there. Yeah, it's there. It's just the one book. Yeah, I'll say a quid. Yeah, all right, a quid.

But lower for a quid. Do you think higher or lower than four pounds? Higher? Higher. Lower? Lower. There's the mouth noise, everybody. Glad you spotted it.

Next. So the price was... £3. Poor blimey dog shit, £3. So that means you've got another between for being correct on lower. But now it's time for the final item. And I need to get this one out, because this one involves some activity. This is something I got in a toy shop

called Ultra Dash The Race Is On. And basically, it's like a can of Relays, with a stick, and you get these yellow... You get these pods, and you've got to stamp them in the pot. Oh, he's been going on about this, ladies and gentlemen. And he's trying to incorporate it into everything. Every single thing we've done,

he wants to do that. Paul. Those clown school, that clown school course is really paying off for years now. Who wants to live forever? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Paul, we've only got about three minutes.

We've got plenty of time. Keep doing this. Shut up, I need to get this out. Keep doing this, by all means. Shall I fill in? Shall I fill in now? This is good, this stuff, guys. In the Vietnamese shop across from the job centre in Tottenham, they always, when I buy this, the shop owners always go, you like this? This is good, isn't it? And I go,

yeah. And we have a little conversation about, like, Vietnamese energy drinks. And I feel like a sense of community. Because I bought a juice box the other day when I got these. And it was a juice box. And he had to point out to me, the owner, that it was for children. But I said, I'm going to drink it anyway. I'm going to just drink this.

And it tasted, it was orange. But it tasted, like, going to drink it anyway. I'm going to just drink this. And it tasted... It was orange, but it tasted like weirdly of vanilla. Weird. Weird vanilla orange. Can you imagine that? Weird. Anyway, I'm just going to finish this. Get on with this, by all means. Eli. I forgot to put batteries in it. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Well, we can't do it then.

We can't do it. Shall I continue with the juice box story, though? No. Because what you're meant to do with it, I can't fucking believe I forgot to put batteries in. It's like you press it, and then it lights up a little colour around the top, and then I was going to say, run,

and then if it lit yellow, you'd bosh, and then you'd go to that, like that, and then it would go green, and you'd run up the aisle and get the green one from wherever that was, which I have to now awkwardly collect. Oh, yeah, that would have been a great ending to the show. Yeah.

I was thinking it would be a lovely kind of energetic party-knows-how's-party vibe, wasn't I? Yeah, and now we've got Eli and his juice box story, so... Eli, how many millilitres was this juice box? How many what? Millilitres was this juice box? How many what? Millilitres was in the juice box. It was one of those quite small ones. Did it have a plastic straw?

It did have a plastic straw, which is unfortunate. And it tasted funny. I was super hungover, though. I just needed liquid. Just needed hot liquid. Not hot liquid. I'd be really worried if it was hot liquid. You've been fucking mugged off there.

I'm sorry, I keep thinking about the hurty water, which is obviously body temperature, so that's why hot liquid. But the thing is, mate, I was really excited because I thought, oh, while they're running, I can do this instead. And then it would be like, oh, Betty, step on your marks.

Go, Tom, go! And then it would be all fun like this. Play the Moog again. on your marks, go Tom go! And then it'll be all fun like this. There he goes. You just have a run around Paul and people seem to be enjoying it anyway. Yeah. So did you finish the carton or? Not quite. Oh my god. That's the noise of Paul's belly. How do you do that? Yakety belly. Are we enjoying it?

No. I'm not touching you. It's weird. You really don't. Stop. You've made your belly all red oh there has to be a limit Paul stop thanks for coming everybody Let's have a round of applause for our guest, Tom Mayhew. We haven't finished the fucking show, you dick splat!

I mean, you did lie down and pretend you were dead, for fuck's sake. Paul, you were on the ground. You were dead. Hitting yourself in the stomach. I was being professional. Jesus, I'm trying. You've got three minutes! Sit the fuck down! You were dead. Hitting yourself in the stomach. I was being professional. Jesus, I'm sorry. You've got three minutes. Sit the fuck down! No-one's going anywhere!

Oh, wow, oh, wow. OK. So, how much was this fucking thing that I got and did nothing but slap my belly on the stage? What? What? How much, Tom? How much, Tom? How much, Tom?

I believe it costs you all of your dignity. Thank you. Why are you putting the microphone to it? As if your belly is going to go, oh, that really hurt. Right, lower or higher than whatever?

I've fucking lost count. I don't fucking know, the same. Higher. Higher, let's do higher. And how much do you think it cost? Say £2.50. £2.49. Oh, fucking hell. £2.50 on the nose. There we go, £2.50. £2.49.

Oh, fucking hell. £2.50 on the nose. There we go, £2.50. So that's two for Twings. So your running total of for Twings for tonight, Tom, is five. Five for Twings. That's very good. That's respectable. It's a good score.

That'll be jotted down and added to our statistics. I think you should have paid a bit more, you know, maybe got some batteries with it. I just want to apologise for tonight. I know you came expecting a rehearsed and slick performance from me and my good self. No, they fucking didn't. Jesus! But as we're running to the end of time, I just wanted to formally apologise and hope that you don't judge us too

harshly for the last hour. All I can say is that we love you dearly. And that Eli is a massive cunt. Other than that, we're good to go. I think we can wrap up now. Yeah, yes, that's what I thought. Other than that, we're good to go. I think we can wrap up now. Yeah, yes, that's what I thought.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. Joining us at the Leicester Comedy Festival for Cheap Show. Thanks, guys. Thanks for coming. Ladies and gentlemen, Tom Mayhill! Paul Gannon, everybody! Mr Eli Silverman! Thanks very much. And give yourselves a big round of applause for coming out tonight. I've been, everything's on the Cheap Show, thecheapshow.co.uk, patreon.com forward slash

cheap show. Apologies to the front row for me spitting all over you throughout the running time. It is the wet zone. That's us for, we'll see you next week. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. time it is the wet zone um that's us we'll see you next week good night Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn!

Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn!

Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn!

Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Awn! Mae wedi bod yn wych. Diolch. Cofiwch i bawb.