CheapShow - Ep 328: This Is Not What A Podcast Should Do

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

It’s an emotional rollercoaster this week on CheapShow with bitter rants, over-excited expostulations, sober moments of clarity and confusing arguments! It begins with Eli desperately trying to cram another new character in the show and only gets more unhinged from there. Paul is not impressed with Eli’s increasingly poor creative choices and there is going to be tears before bedtime, or at least by the end of the episode. In Charity Shop Showcase, Eli has sourced two very unusual discoveries for Paul to peruse. Whilst one of them is conceptually very confusing, the second one tickles all of Paul’s fancies. To end the episode, it's a bumper sized Price of Shite, with six items to delight and bemuse. Will this be Eli’s finest hour? Knowing Paul’s luck, then yes, it could very well be! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-328-not-what-a-podcast-should-do And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! URINEVISION 2023 is coming, so catch up with our 2021 episode: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-232-urinevision-2021 Send your entries to [e-mail] before 5th May 2023! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow NEW ART: Get hold of Spunk.Rock’s exclusive new CheapShow Artwork: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/CHEAPSHOW-EST-2016-by-spunkrock/115961855.WFLAH.XYZ www.instagram.com/spunk__rock Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello! Hello! It's Cheap Show! Everybody, welcome back to Cheap Show! Episode 2! I am Paul Gannon. Hi, I'm Eli Silverman. And this is the Economy Comedy Podcast, recorded live at the Camden Head Pub. No, it's not. No, it's not.

It's episode 328, mate. Is it? Yeah. Yay. It's 328th episode of Cheap Show. And as 11.1, our long-time theme tune, recedes into the distance, Paul.

The Mike Vickers Orchestra. Who's that picture? It's a man. Why is there suddenly a man on the telly who looks sad? He looks like a man who's contemplating...

Death. Yeah. He's like, I don't know. He's a grey, boring man. Is that Mike Vickers? I don't know. What the fuck is going on with that?

I know we found this video to that song on YouTube, but now there's a video of a man in a distressed flat. What's that wallpaper? It looks like it's all burnt out. No, that's just someone who's a set decorator. They shat all over the wall.

No, it's a set decorator. It's a TV set, obviously. Yeah, but... Someone's just quickly stippled the side of a piece of set. Stippled it, Paul. Stippled it? Yeah. Stippled the set.

Do you know what I'm getting at, though? I'm getting at, Paul. Do you know what I mean? Come up with something new. Oh,led it, Paul. Stippled it. Yeah. Stippled the set. Do you know what I'm getting at, though? I'll get it at, Paul. Do you know what I mean? Come up with something new. Oh, let's play this because it was on some fucking thing. That'll be good.

That'll be a great jumping off point. No, it's not. Who are all these cunts? Are these all wrestlers? Oh, fuck off. There's Big Daddy and Giant Ace.

I recognise those two. And there's a man there who's, look, he's dressed up as an Indian, American Indian Native American. Oh dear. I don't know. Me getting the

phrase wrong is not bad. Him dressed up like that is bad. He might be a Native American person, you never know. He might. I very much doubt in English wrestling at that time there was a genuine Native American. A chief he might have. Yeah, because his name was probably. This isn't going in.

This is probably. Fuck this. What do we start again? I think we should start again. This is going in. This is terrible. I'll fucking decide what's going in. This is a melee of terribleness. We don't want to start again with another weak fucking arse opening. I don't know what's going on.

Have you got a weak arse opening? Is that what you're saying? No I won't go there you will go there you'll go there because I'll tell you to I don't feel like because I pay you the money and if I say

Eli needs to be a dirty little mink this week then he's going to be a dirty little mink isn't he no he's going to be

you will I'll tell you what you do each week mate I actually do I'll tell you what I do I feel very weak mate I'm in a really combative mood this week.

I feel really weak. And if you step out of line, I'll put you back in line. Oh, yeah? With what? With discipline and harsh words. How will you enforce

the discipline? Why have you got a red eye? Why is your left eye red? I've been rubbing it. I feel hay fever-y. Why have you been rubbing your red eye? I have hay fever.

You're disgusting. I feel short of breath and weak. And I don't want to make this the opening. I have hay fever. You're disgusting. I feel short of breath and weak. And I don't want to make this the opening. I don't want this to be the opening

of this podcast this week. It doesn't reflect well on me. Why? You know, it's alright for you. You're just completely

unfunny and shit every single thing you ever say. But I've got bits where I get better, I get worse. You don't. You're such an awful, awful, awful co-host.

Oh. You don't give. I give. You just take. I give. I'll give you something now. All right, then give me something. Fine, here's a trolley.

What's this on the trolley? It's fruit pool. That's all you've got? Can you? A fruit trolley. No, there's all different types. Not even a real fruit trolley. One's fruit pool. That's all you've got? Can you... A fruit trolley? No, there's all different types. Not even a real fruit trolley. One I have to imagine.

Yes, imagine this... What if I imagine it's shit? Therefore, you've given me a shit fruit trolley. It's not a shit trolley. Yeah, but I imagine this is shit. It can be. What I'm seeing now is a rickety old wooden trolley. With turds on.

With half a banana on the top and it's gone brown. Well, what can you do with that? Nothing. What can you do with half a banana? Fuck it. Is that what you want? I want it. I'm going to fuck that half a banana

on your rickety table trolley. Now we're on the same page with this trolley. I'll bring it on again. All right. Squeaky, squeaky. It's a trolley full of fruit-shaped dildos. Ram it! Ram it!

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It was all going so well, wasn't it? Oh, Ram the dildos. so well, wasn't it? Oh, all going so well. And then Eli went straight to fruit arse interface comedy, didn't he? I'm trying. I'm trying to give you something. Yes, you are very trying.

And all you've given me is an imaginary fruit trolley with dildos on. That's all you've given me. How can you tell it's a fruit trolley if it's only got dildos? Because you just said it was a fruit trolley covered in fruity dildos. Yeah, like the pineapple. How is that pineapple going to work? You start with the banana and then when you're ready,

you go to the pineapple. It's pineapples at the top of the range. Where do you go after banana? What's next on your list? On your list of fruit, like banana to pineapple, what's the scale? Strawberry.

Before banana or after banana? Before. All right, because you just made this sound of fruit like banana to pineapple what's the scale strawberry strawberries before banana or after banana before alright because you just made this sound like bananas first you pop it in it's like a little plug

what a bunch of grapes how are you going to get them in is it a grape at a time it's a bunch of grapes it's actually in a row like a sex bead row of grapes

you have to design things because they're in a row so they're not on bunches but they're in a row oh yeah so there we go so then then are we going to what kiwi is kiwi up there You have to design things because they're in a row. So they're not on bunches, but they're in a row. Oh, yeah. So there we go. So then are we going to what?

Kiwi? Is kiwi up there? Is kiwi our thing? Peach or apricot? There's no other fucking shapes, are there? They're all round. They're all round until you get to a big fucking pineapple. That's a bit of a spike in the difficulty curve, isn't it? Well, I didn't...

Isn't it? It's like, oh, I've been limbering up. I've managed to get an apricot in. But, oh, it's a big step up, isn't it? I didn't isn't it it's like oh I've been limbering up I've managed to get an apricot in but oh it's a big step up isn't it it's a big step up a pineapple

what next no there's nothing after pineapple pineapples as far as you can go what about a what about a yam have you seen the

size of some of those yams yeah fucking hell and they get thick at the bottom they are huge anyway welcome to

cheap show Fucking hell. And they get thick at the bottom. They are huge. Anyway, welcome to Cheap Show. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's just a fact of Cheap Show you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Cheap show. Off-brand, frat-dog, off-brand, frat-dog. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. Cheap show.

It's the price of shite. Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheat Show. And I go and I nuzzle. Psst, come here. Would you like a podcast? I'm Jiminy Cricket, the comedian. No, no, no. Would you like a podcast? I'm Jiminy Cricket, the comedian.

No, no, no. Would you like a podcast? Come here, there's more podcasts. No, Jiminy, no. A diddly, diddly, diddly. Come here, there's no... A diddly fucking no. Thank you, Jiminy Cricket, for coming onto the show.

80 celebrity comedian, Jiminy Cricket. That wasn't his name. It was called Jimy Cricket, you twat. Oh, no, it won't be... My name is Jiminy Cricket. I won't be. My name is Jimmy Cricket. I won't be fucking privy to these weak characters with no planning. If you'd said I'm going to call him Jiminy, listen. Jiminy.

Jiminy is his name. We can't have. There's already a moratorium on calling characters Jimmy. You know that. I know that. They're known Jim. But he's Jiminy, on calling characters Jimmy. You know that. I know that. They're known Jims. But he's Jiminy, isn't he? Jiminy Cricket.

Jiminy Cricket. But how? Just the lack of... Jim Nim Niminy Cricket is his name. Jim Nim Niminy Cricket. Jim Nim Niminy. And what's he do? Why do you think he should have done something?

Why? He could have come on and told some Irish jokes, couldn't he? Which is good. But why did you have that idea just then? I'm sitting here with you. It's because he was in here with us. There was silence as you pressed record. And I saw your eyes flicker.

And then that's what happened. For some reason, the picture of a sausage reminded me of Jiminy Cricket. It meant you have an Irish caricature. Jiminy. Well, shall I go now, Paul? Fuck off. I think you should. He just popped by to say hello and talk about his latest comedy tour.

That's right. I'll be appearing in Stalk on Trent. Just one gig. Oh, it's a bit tragic, that. I think you should go now. You're in vision. Oh, no. Podcast.

Hello, I'm Paul Gannon. I think we need to cut that. Honestly, Paul. No, I'm keeping that in. Why? I don't know. Jim Nim Niminy is great. No, I don't know Jim Nim Niminy is great no it's not

Jim Nim Niminy is my favourite new character you do that and then I'm not allowed to do anything I'm not allowed to just do a pointless

shitty character not this week that all gets cut out because you know what there's someone here to see you oh hello who came in

with Jim Jiminy Cricket and they're called Jim Flandy Blash oh dear Mr Silverman. Oh, he's going. Don't carry on with this. Don't. What?

What? Who wants me? Mate, you've now got snot right down your nose and on your moustache. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm about to be sick unless you fucking stop this recording right now and clean it up. Oh, I told you I had a fever outside.

Just get some tissue. Get some tissue or I'm going to be sick on this podcast. Oh, don't you... Alright, this is already off to a bad start, Mr. Silverman. This is off to a bad start.

Oh, no. This is not how people... This is not how podcasters behave with you on all fours blowing your nose into a fucking t-shirt all right all right sorry okay hello everyone oh hello welcome to cheap show the economy comedy podcast where eli and i go for the bargain bins the charity shops and discount stores of great britain and beyond to bring you the treasure that we find amongst that trash. And wow, boy howdy, we've got two segments for you today. We've got a charity shop showcase that Eli's discovered this week,

and then it's going to be followed by our favourite game on the show, a regular feature, why it's the price of shite. And we've got a nice collection of shite today from someone who I've lost a letter to or didn't give me a letter. Either way, it's a mysterious P.O. box delivery. So if you recognise the items on today's price of shite, get in touch. Get in touch.

Put us on tweet. We'll tweet you back and say, thank you very much, Governor. It's a proper shit list today as well. Oh, God. Your envisions. Still get your entries in. After the big splurge at the beginning, it slowed down a bit. We're panicking about entries.

We're panicking about the concert. Someone's going to send us songs. Don't let us down. Please send us songs. They can be 10 minutes. They can be an hour. You could be Mike Batt. Mike Batt.

Get in touch. Mike Batt, get in touch. You like to work. Mike Batt's been working for years. Mike Batt is a very respected person in the British music industry. Yeah. He did Bright Eyes, didn't he? And he did the Womble song. Yeah, and Pebble Millet One.

And he did We Are the Children of the Storm. And Silence. No, I wasn't telling you to be silent. I was just saying he once did that thing, didn't he? Did you see I did an anti-joke there, Paul? Because I was like, I did a joke by not saying anything because it related to the word that you'd said. So it was like, I did a joke by not saying anything, because it related to the word that you'd said. So it was like the

inverse of a joke. You see, what you did there, if you don't mind me being glib, is... Oh, please be glib away, glib up, glib me down. Your anti-joke was an antidote to common comedy tropes

these days, I think you'll find... One star. Suck my tongue. You're in a vision. Get your tracks in. No longer... My brain shut down. Make them around two minutes the closer you get

to two minutes the more chance you're going to get through to getting in deadline is the 5th of May so a few weeks to get those in

and we'll start racking them up we've had about four or five Paul I think we need to make it clear as well this is not a

competition that's only open to professional musicians anyone can have a go and anyone does have a go usually and we get some crazy madness if you're just feeling musically creative give it a go give it a shot you don't know what two minutes press the button two minutes later press stop we'll take that we'll have that bish bosh one of the most infamous and uh famous tunes we've had from the other competitions is fruit Salad. Ah! There's a little link. I knew it was

coming. Wait one sec then. So deadline is 5th of May and you can send your entries to thecheapshow at gmail.com More information is in the information for this podcast on the app that you're listening to us on now. Other than that, thecheapshow.co.uk if you need

to get more information. That's it. Could you say information again? Information. Information is what we need. If you want to give us facts. No, I don't. And you want to have a laugh. Oh, information's what you need.

If you want to be a record taker. I don't care if you come round here Come round here, got my beer Come round here, we got my beer There's a breath, there is a breath And I was just about to say before you so rudely made that one sound for so long.

Yeah, that was good. That was long that. Cool. But I think it's been worth the wait to say it. Dick inflation. Dick inflation.

Dick inflation is what you need if you want to pump your nads and you want to use Dick inflation. Right. Other than you want to use... Dick inflation. Right. Other than that...

Hello, I'm Dick inflation. Other than that, is there anything you want to talk about in this opening? No, you never give me a chance. I didn't want to be here now. What do you mean? You fucking... Stop waving your snot shirt around at me. You snot shamed me.

You wouldn't let me prepare properly. Come on. Can't we do another bit where I do something creative? Now is that time. Okay. You've got two minutes. Look, Paul.

Look. Wheelbarrow. I'm not doing a wheelbarrow. It's very different from a trolley. It's not. Conceptually, there's... Wheelbarrow. Same.

What's it got in it, though? Veg. Stone dildos. So that's all you've got now? Is that all you... Because you did this last week with the whole dildos. So that's all you've got now? Is that all you... Because you did this last week with the whole dildo thing. Did I?

Someone's got a winking eye of curiosity. I didn't do a dildo thing. You did do a dildo thing. I never did dildo thing. You did do a dildo thing. I didn't do... Dora.

I said to her, Dora, don't do the dildo thing. Don't do the dildo. Right, and that's your two minutes of Eli because fuck me. That was appalling. I thought you had something else going on.

I do. I'll put the wheelbarrow back, okay? I'll bring something else out. Mate, no, you said to me you had something you wanted to say. I've got one of those pallet movers. Oh, no. I've got a forklift pallet mover. I am very close, very close, Eli,

to just pushing you on the floor and stamping my heel into your forehead. As if you could do that. stamping my heel into your forehead. As if you could do that. Get you out of the way. I doubt there's threats of violence. Get you out of the way. These play well with our listenership. Well, do something.

I've done so many things. You've done nothing. I have. You've done nothing. Right, so I get something else out then. But you have to go along with it. You said you had something. You have to go along with it.

One minute. Oh, it's a remote, one of those remote, big, what are they called? Remote dildos, is it? No. Is it a remote control dildo? Is it a dildo on wheels that I have to stand in front of or behind and then drop down on?

This is all very... And then what? There's a dildo in my arse with wheels beneath and then you start scooting me around the room on my four wheel dildo? And put rockets on the back of it. What, and that pushes me in the sky now, does it? So now I'm a hovering wheeled man with a remote-controlled car dildo up his bottom, going around and around in the air, Eli. Is that the best you've got? Is that all you've really got?

A remote-controlled cock? Oh, I think we're going to actually have to stop doing it. I can't be myself. I can't be normal. This isn't yourself. You are normal. We spent many hours before we record a podcast where we're normal. And then I press record and you go bing bong, widdle widdle, flop flop, bonk, don't you?

We're bing bong. No. Yeah. No. No. See, why? No. Bing bong, no.

Right. Okay. Well, I think we need to take Just a small break right now And reset For your segment Eli Which is the Charity shop showcase You are going to be doing that

Why do we have to do that first Can't you see the price is shy No Please You always switch it on me Why are you getting distressed Stop wiping your face With your snot rag

I'll blow my nose in the break It's like doing this with Orson Welles In the twilight of his career Why thank you, I've been compared to him on many levels Yes A fat, speedy twat A drunken, unprofessional, on camera twat Yeah

What's my Citizen Kane then? No, well, Clankerman was your Citizen Kane Oh god I'm sorry mate I'll be all right for the section ladies and gentlemen performing his simple intro to the charity shop showcase segment of this show is your friend and mine eli jemima simpson silverman hello everybody eli silverman here it's great to be back and you know what we're going to do a great little segment of the episode we call this charity shop showcase i've selected two items both bought in a charity shop and we're going to bring those

to paul's attention see what he thinks about them and then he'll decide whether it's a showcase or a show waste which has no place on Charity Shop Showcase. So, Paul, are you ready to play? Sorry, I was eating salt and pepper nuts. You certainly were, weren't you? I like salt and pepper nuts. Are they good? Do they have any spice to them?

These are from a little bit of heat. These are from Eminem at Tesco. Wait, we need a jingle. It has to have a jingle. Okay. I'm just trying to think of a tune now i want don't do music with your mouth it is the charity shop little showcase it's the one place where you can show your stuff. Come and come and come.

Come on, come to the charity shop. Oh, showcase. Imagine all the Osmonds singing that and it makes more sense. Oh, imagine fucking... All the fucking Partridge family. Pavarotti. Imagine someone who can sing and make up songs. Because it ain't us. I'm Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim Pavarotti. Imagine someone who can sing and make up songs. Because it ain't us.

I'm Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Jim Pavarotti. I'm McJimmy and Pavarotti Jim Jarmy. I've got a Jim Jarmy army. And I've got Pavarotti's Pav. I'm just going to let you do this. So I can just cut it all out. Jim Jammer and Parvay. Oh, who's in the car, Z?

It's Jim Jammer and Parvay. We have to do this segment, man. We've got to do this segment, man. Are you ready for your first charity shop showcase item? It's the charity shop diddly-diddly showcase tonight.

It's just shorter. It's the charity shop diddly-diddly showcase tonight. Okay, like it, like a stab. Yeah. Okay, should we just do that? Yeah. So you say, so let's have our first charity shop showcase. No, it's not our first. You've got two, don't you?

I've got two segments. Two mini-segments. Two sub-segments. Let's go to the first item in our Charity Shop Showcase. Say that. And then I'll do the da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da. Okay. So everyone, let's now go to the first item on this week's Charity Shop Showcase.

It's the Charity Shop Showcase tonight. Now, this is a Sylvester the Cat themed flying carpet toy. I have many, many, many questions. Conceptually, what the fuck? Well, you can see the photos of this on the website. You can. Thecheapshow.co.uk.

It's a toy and it depicts a magic carpet, I'd say. Yeah. Would you say? Well, yeah, it is a carpet that flies. It's a carpet. It's curved, wavy purple carpet with bright yellow trimmings and nice hangy-down curtain bits at the end. But it looks like a kind of hot rod car almost,

the way it's been sculpted to have Sylvester's head popping out the front of the bubble. Well, that's the other thing's been sculpted to have Sylvester's head popping out the front of the bubble. Well, that's the other thing I was just about to get to. And in a clear plastic bubble at the front of this device is Sylvester the Cat.

I don't get it. It's an official Looney Tunes toy, right? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think so. Isn't it? I thought it said

licensed by Looney Tunes or something at the back of this. Please do. 1999 play-by-play made in China. Now, it has a battery pack. So, and I can tell you now, Paul, I got it working. I unscrewed it today and put some fresh batteries in.

There weren't any in there. So all it says here is not too much more than you've said. Talking Sylvester the Cat on Magic Carpet 1999 Play-By-Play. Play-By-Play is obviously the company. But I don't, I conceptually don't understand it. Because A, why is Sylvester why is this a Looney Tunes thing unless it's a

knock-off, right? Now, I think there was a short, a cartoon, that he was in where he somehow got access to a magic carpet and he used it to try and rise up and get to E-Bird. Okay, fine. So I think it fits in terms of it's been something

that's been on the cartoons that he used before. Okay, but now next question is... Am I right? No, I don't remember it off the top of my head. It doesn't ring a bell.

However, that's fine. But why isn't there a big plastic Sylvester cat on there? Why is it just his head poking out like it's a spacecraft? Because I get the feeling

it was cheaply manufactured. And I thought it was going to move around. I thought it had wheels on. out like it's a spacecraft. Because I get the feeling it was cheaply manufactured. And I thought it was going to move around. I thought it had wheels on. No, it does have a thing.

It does, Paul. It has batteries. So if you'd like to depress Sylvester's head. So I'm going to put this down on the table, right?

And I'm going to tell you what, I'll take the microphone off so we can hear this. And you'll see the out. I'm now off the

stand, Eli, and I'm roving. Okay. So I'm just going to put that on here. I have fresh batteries today stand, Eli, and I'm roving. Okay. So I'm just going to put that on here. I have fresh batteries today, and so it's very much working. Here we go. I'm putting the microphone up towards it.

I just press the head, you say, sir? Press Sylvester's head. And now, fortune teller. Tweety, if you please. It's a fortune teller. Oh, it's like a kind of Zoltar thing. An eight ball, yeah. Magic eight ball.

So do I ask it a question? Yeah, go on. Sylvester, will Cheap Show reach a million listens in this one episode? As I was saying, I don't know. He doesn't know. I thought I was about to say I didn't know if that was in English or not then. All right, next one. Will Eli have sex before the end of this year, 2023?

You bet your sweet Bippy. Oh, yeah, good. You bet your sweet Betsy that you're going to get nutted. So sometimes it's his voice. And sometimes it sounds like Tweety. And sometimes it sounds like mini Sylvester from the mini Looney Tunes. I really get the feeling that I get the feeling that Play By Play did not

get any permission. That's right. So it's weird. And we should say the little lights actually come. There's a green and a red light by the base of his neck where it joins the carpet, and they come on every time you depress

it. Oh, I don't know. That's Bugs Bunny. Yeah, that's Bugs Bunny. You're right. So it's just all the Looney Tunes. They must have just taken clips of all sorts of bits and bobs. They must have found

some kind of library of audio clips, right? That's what it feels like. Yeah. That sounds super. All right, well, there you go. I think the fortune-telling aspect of it kind of goes with the magic carpet, doesn't it?

Because you get crystal balls and magic carpets. It's all part of that weird, you know, mystic, fortune-telling sort of tropes. Because it's unfamiliar and foreign, therefore it's more magical, therefore real. Do you know what I'm getting at with that? I do. Why Sylvester?

Why not put bunny bugs? Why that design? Why not make Bunny Bugs? Why that design? Why not make it like a little Zoltar machine with Looney Tunes characters in? It just feels completely like it wasn't the license. They don't care as much, though, as a company like Disney, or didn't at the time, did they?

I think 1999 was at the height of the Warner characters being used on clothing and stuff and hip-hop and shit. Was that the era? No, it was a little bit before that. But they were certainly rinsing those characters for all sorts of merch for the stores and things like that. And I think it was just such a popular thing to put on something. I will say this. Play-by-Play, the company, does have a Looney Tunes license.

Okay, there you go. They also have Peppa Pig, Lilo & Stitch, and Looney Tunes. And they just make crappy toys. Is that what they do? Apparently. But it looks like they make crappy toys based on lucrative licenses that are popular with kids currently. Like they have a Despicable Me thing.

DC, Attack on Titan, Paw Patrol. They literally have their fingers in everything. But it's just such a strange thing because Sylvester's's not even the top-tier Looney Tunes character. Why wouldn't you put Bugs in it? Oh, well, this is what I wanted to ask you, Paul. What would be your... Who's your favourite Looney Tunes character? Well, my favourite is Daffy. Yeah, same here.

It's just because he's the funniest and the most interesting. Bugs is a bit of a wise-ass, but at least Bugs is playful. Well, he's meant to be the everyman to some extent, isn't he? And that's why it was better. I just don't get the point of this toy. What would a kid want with a... It's just a noise box. It makes a noise, you know. And now, Fortune Triller.

Tweety, if you please. Oh, he's repeating it. That's the first time I've heard it repeat. Boy, talk about a limited range of interests. That's Bugs, isn't it? No, that's repeating it. That's the first time I've heard it repeat. Boy, talk about a limited range of in-twists. That's Bugs, isn't it? No, that was Tweety. Oh, yeah. Because of the speech impediment thing. They were all made by one man, weren't they?

Well, they were, yeah, originally. You know what? We're jumping to the part where we say, is it a showcase item? I need to ask you. Well, I've produced the items today, Paul. And I need to ask you, do you think this goes into the van

and then is driven to the storage unit? He's looking at the time, everyone. It's just simple. Or is it a showcase or a show waste? You were literally, moments before we recorded

this segment, going, no, Paul, there's a very big justification of cheap. It's all this, right? And so I thought, right, okay. We're doing showcase or show waste as we listened back and figured it out.

And now you're going around the garden path, aren't you, again, to get to some whimsical new way of adjudicating this shit. All I'm saying is it needs to be taken in a van to the place where the showcase is if you decide it's a showcase. Or, Paul, is it a show waste? in a van to the place where the showcase is if you decide it's a showcase or paul is it a show waste if it's a show waste if it's a show waste i'll take it back

on the trolley it goes in the trolley with all your fruit dildos yes god this fucking show um right this is a show it's a show waste you don't like it no not really give some reasoning uh i don't like its design it looks cheap it's conceptually inconsistent why have him just his head coming out of a bubble on a magic carpet why when all the voices come from different looney tunes characters it's not even a very good fortune telling device because it's not very random it seems to only have like four maybe five statements so you know if you don't like will i ever meet my true love just hit it four more times and wait for the answer you want yeah okay it's not very good thing no but it was going for like five six quid on ebay it i got it for two oh see that's all right you see on that respect okay for me it's

a bit of a show waste as well i was hoping hoping for more from the voices. Well, exactly not. The chip, the sound chip isn't good quality either. No, not really. There's no real speaker part. You know, a similar device that we had on the show was what was given to me, that Godzilla money box. Yeah, that was good. Which is so much better.

I'd even prefer the Zoltar machine we had on a few years ago. Little shitty plasticky thing, but at least it gives you random things. It's in that family. This is random. There's way more statements with the Zoltar.

Oh no it's not. It keeps coming back to that. Maybe it turns itself off and that's the first statement. Yeah so then

after that it becomes a thing. Well it wouldn't work for me either Paul. No well it doesn't work for me so shall we

take a little moment breather and then come back for your second item. Of course. It's the charity shop

showcase part two. Part two? Part two. Here is your second item. I look forward to it. For your perusal. I'm open to your

second offering. Okay. I am agape waiting for your massive second offering, Eli. Second offering.

Yeah. I've had you first. There was a bit of weak sauce, but this one. I'm hoping this does get into the showcase because I saw this and I thought of you. It's a book. Let me just let you discover it for yourself. I'm going to hand it over. It's a book and you thought

of me when you saw it. That's the setup. Yes. Now I'm going to hand it to you. Describe it to our dear listeners. Oh, it's a book and you thought of me when you saw it. That's the setup. Yes, now I'm going to hand it to you. Describe it to our dear listeners. Oh, it's a book called Sexy Sailors. Oh, I wonder why you thought of me when you saw this. Because I want to see you as a dirty sailor in a cabaret review. Boop, boop. I'm Popeye.

I'm Popeye the bombing man. No, I'm not. I bomb a can the bombing man. I'm not the bombing man. I bomb a can of Spam. I unscrew the top and spock up my mark into the fucking Spam. See, I wasn't going to stop that, but I like where it went, so it's all right. I'm Spoffy the sailor Spam. I spoff in my caravan. And when I feel silly, it comes out my willy.

I'm Spoffy the fucking ate my own guts for saying this song. And suddenly, we're back. We're back. We're back. Oh, you know what? I take it back. This is a good book. It is.

Have you seen it before? No no i've not seen it before it's called spectropia or surprising spectral illusions showing ghosts everywhere and of any color by jh brown it's published by whitstable and walsall and it is a elusive says on the back it says illusionary images have fascinated and astonished through the ages in this facsimile reissue of a book first published in 1863. Nice. It is difficult to believe that our eyes are not deceiving us as a ghost appears everywhere.

And in colour. No technical knowledge or apparatus is needed. Simply follow the instructions and be amazed. Now, there is this, it's the illusion that you must have seen before, where you stare at something, close your eyes, move the book and it's something else. Yes, that's right.

But it has a bit that explains the science to you in the beginning of this book. Does it? And what happens with the cells at the back of the retina. And it has a little... What is that? A little insert. I'm just reading it now. A little insert. There's a little insert.

Follow the instructions and be amazed. For each illusion, look first at the black spot or asterisk while counting to 20, and then at a wall or ceiling, preferably of a light colour. Now, luckily, we have a wall. Are you going to try it out? I'm going to try it out now. Obviously, it's an audio podcast, so it's not going to completely translate, but I'll do my best to impart my findings to you.

Paul, even if it was a visual podcast. Part my findings. Even if it was a visual podcast, you'd be unable to communicate your subjective experience to everyone. The audio nature doesn't. Because how are they going to get into your visual cortex? We could do it as a video and put it up on YouTube, couldn't we? But you can't see the image then, could you?

You couldn't see the image because you have to be you. Oh, you say let them do it at home. I could do that if this was a visual medium, but it's not, so I have to impart my findings. You could do a Paul Daniels, put your hand up against the telly, put your willy up against the telly. Paul Daniels put his willy on the telly, did he? No, he did something where he was like, we're going to stop this

clock together. That was like Uri Geller or something like that. Yeah, but I'm sure they've all done it, haven't they? Anyway, it says so the image will appear on that wall. Blink while looking at the wall, etc. And the image will move about. There's lots of stuff in here. Do the first one. They are colour as well. Yeah. No, they are. They're nice.

Oh, to see spectres are only necessary to look steadily at the dot or asterisk so yeah it's a bit more an elaborate version of what we've been told probably in the an old uh old-timey language oh there's a list of plates it says here plate one this winged figure of victory will give a white specter by artificial light plate two this black figure will give a white specter so it does the opposite this purple hand will give you a yellow spectre. So it does the opposite. This purple hand will give you a yellow spectre. And there's been, I've seen

updated versions of this illusion, Paul. Have you seen where they have an actual photograph? Yeah. And because of the way

they colour it, because when you look away and you look onto the blank surface, the opposite will do the opposite colour. So there's some

modern versions where they're like photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like they're weird colours, but then when you look on a thing, it all comes colour. So there's some modern versions where they're like photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like they're weird colours, but then when you look on a thing, it all comes colour. Yeah. Do you remember those toys

used to get in like cereal? Maybe it was cereal. I think it was cereal. Cereal. Where it was like a little very thin plastic thing with nudges in. Nubbles and nudges, right?

But the idea was flat. It didn't look like anything but a bit of dimple plastic. Dimples. That's the word you were looking for.ges nubbles dimples but when you hold it to the light the light comes in and because the depth of the thing it then shows you a black and white image like a gray scale i never saw those i'd love to see one of those i remember like i want to say like as a sports thing where when i held up to the light it was like a football field and you can see people but like when the light came through there was like definition that you couldn't see before

a bit like you know in the haunted mansion that's um that statue head that when you move past it looks like it's following you but actually it's not it's concave it's concave that's another um illusion that's a different illusion all right so i'm going to pick one of these at random i'm going to pick i like this color one i'm going to pick pick a colour one because the first few are sort of black and white I like the skeleton one though pushing the rod it's kind of cool

illustration isn't it yeah they're spooky they're all very odd period there'll be pictures on our website anyway this red figure will give you a green spectre

okay try that right okay so there is a oh yeah I'm just trying to see where the little dot was to stare at and some image

where is it well in this one it's right underneath the skeleton's chin. It's quite tiny. Oh, it's almost like a find the dot game as well. Yeah. So I'm just going to stare. I guess I stare at this image now where the dot is for 20 seconds,

and then I close my eyes and then open them at the thing or go straight to the blank wall. What does it say on the paper? Stare at the thing and then stare at a clear sky or a wall. You don't have to close your eyes in between. Here we go. 20 seconds starting now. 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi,

3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi, 5 Mississippi, 7... Yeah, mate. Why did I say Mississippi? Anyway, we're probably on 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Nothing. I couldn't get to work.

There's not enough light in here. No, I'm going to do it again, and then we'll just edit this 20 seconds out, but let me just stay with it proper. Right, here we go. Keep it flat. I'm doing my best. Shut up. Alright, you ready? Yeah.

1,000, 2,000, 3,000, 4,000, 5,000, 6,000, 7,000, 8,000, 9,000, 10,000, 11,000, 12,000, 13,000, 14,000, 15,000, 16,000, 17,000, 18,000, 19,000,

20. Nothing. Give it to me. You have a go. I'll have a go, yeah? I'm going to look right there. You just needed to pick a proper... Yeah, but that's a bit too dark, that,

because it's a terracotta, isn't it? You want something like a light. Isn't it? You want a light? That's why I looked at that wall. Terracotta. It is. It's terracotta.

Oh, I need to meet him now. Terry Cotter. Yeah. He's definitely Scouse. And I dare, mate. I'm Teddy Scott. Terry Cotter. Terry Cotter.

Right, what did you say? What are you going to do? I'm going to try the blue figure. Where's the dot on that? Where is it? Where's the dot on the blue? I see it, yeah. Where is it?

Is it on the... It's very faint. It's very faint on the image this time as well where is it is it on it's very faint very faint on the image this time as well yeah okay all right okay go ready yeah go one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen oh did you see is it working yeah i think maybe one of my it's because i've got one stupid eye maybe that's why i was gonna say perhaps it's to do with your your my lazy left eye this is the fourth edition and it's got one of those lovely victorian i like i like the um artwork and and

the and the what's the word for the words the font type the type yeah the font yeah yeah that's really lovely it's a lovely thing it was only two pound fifty you know. It's a lovely thing. It was only £2.50. You know what? That is a lovely bit of objet d'art. That's a showcase. It's a showcase for me as well. I like that too. I love it. I know it looks like it's a cheap thing in many respects, but it's nice.

It's a child's toy, really, isn't it? Well, it would have been more of a thing back in the day, wouldn't it? It would have been more enlightening to someone to figure out a little bit of science via a little bit of spooky imagery. I know, but this is what, because it's from 1863, this is what fascinates me about it. Now, this is the height of the spiritualism period.

That's what I'm saying. So what is the relationship of this? See, because they have the science to explain why this happens here. Yeah. Which would seem to suggest. You know, it's funny. I'm talking about this right now in my book that I'm writing. But effectively, you had this weird tug of war going on throughout most of the 19th century

between what rational scientists and and people who wanted to include that within science well it's it's really complicated i've had a fucking really tough time trying to simplify simplifies it for my book but effectively you had like a real huge growth like a second enlightenment in terms of developments and sciences and biologies and technology and industry right throughout the 1800s and that was you know suggesting we're living in a more rational time it's where the phrase god is dead came from you know that kind of stuff about about about the idea of man being in control now of his destiny and not leaving it to the fates and the gods and things yes however at the same time church numbers were falling as a kind of relation to this new growth of technology and the changing

modern quote-unquote modern man yeah but an alternative to religion became spiritualism because what they were saying is you don't need churches you don't need pastors you don't need vicars you can talk to god directly or you can speak to me and i'll speak to them directly as well as well as and dead relatives yeah so death and I'll speak to them directly as well. As well as dead relatives. Yeah. So death was a huge industry in some respects as well throughout that period.

So in a way would you say spiritualism was like trying to make a sort of secular replacement for religion? Yeah. Or in a way

it's trying to include ESP and the spirit world Clairvoyance in a scientific worldview. But also at that time that kind of stuff hadn't been as and the spirit world clairvoyance in a scientific worldview but also at that time that kind of stuff

hadn't been as decided upon no ghost stories ghost stories and spirits and things like that were either something like

witch doctors or certain religious types could do basically you know services with the vicar says I am talking to God I am his representative

or they were warnings about you know pirates would give warnings or legends to keep people away or yeah so ghost stories were more like that contextually about having a meaning or a purpose this was the first time it became like where ghost hunting was almost like or ghost investigation was like more tangible now spiritualism was basically the job to go oh look you don't need all this you just need to a room and a seance and we can speak to the dead and we can find out

the mysteries of the afterlife. I find it fascinating. Has there been a really effective horror film that uses that whole world so far? Probably, to be fair. I can't think of one right now.

But yeah, maybe. I just think it's such a rich vein for sort of like there to be fakers. I guess it's what Poltergeist sort of did. That's the modern day version of all that stuff.

But you had the skeptics come in,'t you yeah but you could argue that there's a film that came out before that called the entity with barbara hershey which is seen which is quite unpleasant it's a sexual assault ghost story yeah it follows her around and it's but it but it also has a lot of modern science trying to explain the supernatural it does yes anyway that's delicious what a lovely thing. That's a showcase item for show. Great, and it's for you, Paul. Thank you.

I shall take that and put it on my shelf with other books on a similar topic. Like the Hamlin's Book of Ghosts. Yeah. Or Illusions. I love that, Hamlin's Book of Ghosts. We should do that one day on the podcast. We have, haven't we?

Maybe our Halloween special this year. That was what literally shat me up as a little child. Yeah, some spooky pictures. I thought it was out there, along with my au pair who'd gone zombie. And who could come through the little hole in my duvet. There was even a bigger hole than one inch in the duvet. Anyway. Zombie au pair comes.

Anyway. Anyway. They'll get you. Teddy Cotter says that was a fucking great book. Teddy Cotter's here to cheer everyone up. I noticed there's been a bit frosty between you two today. So I just thought I'd stop in and cheer you a bit up

mate. Terry, it's so good to have a nice friendly chap like yourself here. You know what, do you want a cup of tea there mate?

Do you want a brew on? Let's get a brew on mate. Oh, I just want to hear you talking. For the busiest come.

Busiest! Workers! Say that. Workers! Workers! Down with the down with the proletariat or whatever

hang on I don't know what's Terry Cotter's politics Maggie Factor is fucking

great she's a fucking class woman original girl Terry Cotter's fucking right wing get him out Paul

get out he seems like such a lovely person he did but isn't that always the case with those

cheery cheery types suspicious anyway let's move on okay we've taken a quick break

and I'm feeling refreshed and ready to go how are you Mr. Silverman I'm feeling good as well Paul really good

what what was that I'm feeling good why well, Paul. Really good. What? What was that? I'm feeling good. Why don't you sing that James Brown song and prove it to me? Go on. What James Brown song? I feel good. I knew that you would.

Go on, do that. Just give me a sec. Come on, that'll get you into the mood, won't it? Dun, dun, dun, dun. I pull my hood. I knew that you would. I knew that you would. I knew that I would. I pull my pud. I knew that I would.

Pull pud. Pull pud. I spooch you. And then I throw you a towel. You fetch on stage. I pull in my pud. You fetch on stage. You go, oh, then you get on your I'm pulling my hood you fetch on stage you go oh

then you get on your knees and you're tired and someone comes in with a towel and mops it off instead of the cape instead of the cape now

I had a euphemism for spunking the other day yeah that I thought was have you ever heard it I'm glad we stretched the boundaries

of our comedy it's for when you do the character. Yeah. Captain Blue Balls. Oh, wow. And I know there is the copy character. Yeah. Can't come, John.

Yeah. Long John can't come. Yeah. Long John can't come. Yeah. But I just thought this was a good one. Next time you're doing that character. Yeah.

You say, my dog won't fetch a bone. I'll write it down, but I'm not sure. Right, anyway. Oh, my dog won't fetch a bone. Come on, admit it. It's all right. It's good. It's better when those things organically come out

rather than, you know, you tell me in advance and I have to make it work. Now it's a bit awkward. Now if I do it, listeners are going to go, oh, you know, they workshop this. No, they'll love it because it'll be a little Easter egg. it's easter it was easter no that was last week happy easter and this episode comes out the week after so it doesn't matter dog eggs dog eggs spunky dog eggs mate come on crumbly spunky dog eggs in the very light i see them in the morning i see them we

can't be this shit this week come on crumbly dog come on mate in the morning I see them late at night We can't be this shit this week, come on. Crumbly dogly spank eggs in the little window I see the spanky egg and I say very slow I think we all agree you plateaued with I pull pud today, so let's just put that one in our pocket and use that as a win, alright?

Crumbly dogly spank eggs I just wanted to say that. Now it's time for Yes, well, I just wanted to say that. I'm glad you've got what you wanted. Now it's time for... Yes, well, I was about to do it. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite.

Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. And that's a right. That's right. And that's a right. It's a shite. It's the price. It's a shite. Now, the price. It's a shite. Now, we had a spurge of PO boxes that came in over the last few months.

And as a result, some of them got mixed up. We had to do a house clean. So, long story short. You chucked out your price of shite. No, I've got the price of shite. But I couldn't. Mean Daddy Gannon has gone through the car. He's gone, what cunt sent this?

What cunt spent, wasted their fucking hard-earned cash and time, which is at a premium in this lockdown Britain, and then said, oh, what a cunt I am. I'm sending this shit in. I'm mean Daddy Gannon. Will you stop projecting, please, for the sake of this episode? Well, what have you got to say? You've lost a load of prices to shises.

No, that is not what I've said. On this show, Pride. No, I need you to recount that statement. That is not what I've said. It's not what you've said. But can I say, you know what's priceless on Cheap Show? The prices to shises is priceless. The only one enjoying these bits are you.

Is there a crisis in the price of shises? To an objective ear listening in for the first time, you sound like an absolute fucking gobshite. Can I just ask one question? You nattering gobshite. I need to ask one question, Paul. One question. Go on.

Is there a crisis in the prices of shises? Because the crisis of prices of shises is priceless. You wretched beast. It's priceless. You wretched, scummy dog egg. Try again. Foamy, bespeckled dog egg of a human being. Dog egg.

You fluttering, dying pigeon of human excrement. I'm dog egg. Right, I'm cutting this out. So, the point... The price of the shy, sir. The price of the shy. So, all I'm saying is I've got all the items, but to find out if they were all collected, I had to look at the answers so I knew which of these were all

meant to go together. However, I also didn't find the letter that went with this to say, hello, I'm Bobby Joe, this is my collection so if these items are yours please get in touch on twitter at the cheap show pod and say that was ours and we'll thank you next week and i'll personally pay you 100 pounds if your name is actually bobby joe because that that's just it's not gonna be bobby joe is it of course but why did you use bobby joe why do you use any name you've got this

whole substratum of naming and it's like i know you so well now that it's like it just amuses me this this fucking absolute void where you pull your your creative nuggets it's always Bob, Joe or Jimmy. Every noise you make, Bibble, Bob, Joe, Jimmy. Don't give me that side eye. Price of the shy, sis. Please don't look at me like that. Paul. Paul.

So what you're saying is we don't know who it is. So shut up. Just shut up. Just cease your lips and don't know who it is. So, shut up. Just shut up. Just cease your lips. And don't put that cup back on the table, so you don't make a noise.

I won't. Just behave. I wouldn't do that. Fix yourself. Sit up straight. Okay. Right? Sort your act out.

Jordan Peterman. Think about how old you are. Think about your age. Think about the things you get up to at your age. And have some sense of fucking clarity on the dystopian hellscape that your living existence is on a daily basis it's my dystopian hellscape yes it is you can fucking keep it well you're part of it now you knuckle chin prick knuckle chins i don't have a cleft chin oh you're saying i've got a fat chin aren't you i'm saying fat shaming your chin looks like a row of horse bollocks it does does it yeah you're jowly oh fuck why you have a mushroom

i haven't attacked you you have listen along with the chutney out this podcast over oh it's fake walk out again everyone look he's doing it he's not even getting up. I'm not even getting up. He's doing a little chair dance. Listen, please, can we just get through this, please? You're shuffling like a grand at a disco. So look. In his chair, I meant. I wasn't old-shaming. There are six items here, right?

And I will tell you, Eli, off the top of the game. I saw it in action. I saw the ganonasm in action Ganonasm This all of this comes together to the price

of no more than £4 So when all this is added up it's only £4 your limit Doesn't mean it's £4 It just means

that's the toppest limit What do you mean? So if the answer's like £370 You mean all of the items added together is no more than £4? But it might be slightly less, is what you're saying? The ceiling is £4.

The ceiling is £4, right? And there are six items, Eli. Six! So we're going to get straight into it. So if this is you listening and you're going, oh, I sent them in, get in touch. Hope you're listening, Bobby Joe. Right, first item.

I'm going to do it by the list, I reckon. Hang on. And have you got a pen to write down my guesses? Let's take a pause and I can grab you one. Get a pen, yeah. I'll write straight onto the thing. It makes more sense, really. Your answer next to...

What rules... Were any rules included or it was just the prices? Just the items and their prices in the total. We'll just do common or garden rules. Any messages at all from Bobby Joe so we can know who Bobby Joe might be? There's nothing. There's literally, mate, literally just this.

That's it. That's it. There's nothing else. No, because I've got the answers on. I almost fell for it. You pranny. Right. So there are six items.

Are you ready to go? So normal rules. Are you ready to go? Normal rules.'s just are you ready to go normal rules refresh two points if you get it spot on and those points are known as betwings thank you and if you get it close within 25p either way higher or lower than the actual price that's one between it's still a valiant effort i'm absolutely banging for a hardcore bet. Right, so here is your first item, Silverman. Regardez. Oh, it seems to be a

tea towel. It is a tea towel. As soon as the texture, the rough cottony texture hit the fingertips, I knew it was, but I thought it might be a lighter handkerchief on

first glance. No, although, you know, you couldn't go too far off of it being a napkin. Maybe a napkin. Is it a napkin? No, it is a tea towel. What I'm saying is you

could mistake it for one more than you could anything else. The design is on one side of this tea towel.kin, maybe a napkin. Is it a napkin? No, it is a tea towel. What I'm saying is you could mistake it for one more than you could anything else. The design is on one side of this tea towel. Yes, and what is that design? This is truly bad. All the stuff in this collection, by the way,

is utter dog shit. It's great. This is a souvenir of the royal wedding. Charles and Diana. Remember that date when one of the most disastrous marriages

ever to befall the royal family began in earnest. It's in lovely condition. It is because... Because it's 30 years old now. Because it's been an embarrassment. Over 30 years old.

Yeah, what, 40 odd? No, it's... Yeah. No. Oh, yeah, it's 41, didn't they? Wow, yeah. It has 81 on this. Unless that's a reprint.

Like somewhere... Do you remember 1981? They don't do that, do they? Here's Charles and Di. But I can remember being alive at the time, Paul, and the amount. I'm glad. The amount.

I don't think I've ever seen anything since of the amount of memorabilia and stuff. Tat. At that particular wedding was the one, wasn't it? Andrew and Fergie didn't get that, did they? No. Well, no one, because it was such a failure, I guess. But that was sold hugely, wasn't it?

Oh, yeah, there were vinyl albums of the whole occasion, the ceremony, the music. There was tea cups and mugs. Cutlery, everything. It was a tap fest. You know what I found? I'm sure we've had some Charles and Di stuff on the pod in the past. You see it all over the place.

This depicts Charles and Lady Diana. Lady Diana, Spencer or something or other. And it has what I believe are... The coat of arms for... No, all the flags of the Commonwealth. Oh. Because that's him. He's the leader of the Commonwealth.

I don't know that one. Isle of Man. That's all unrecognised. Australia down there, is that? I don't know. Is it top there? No, that's not Australia. I don't think that's right at all.

We don't know and we're not going to go any further. Jamaica. No, she went to Verona Court. Placenta. Anyway. It's good on this show.

Right, come on. So that's the first item. Remember, I'm going to help you out a little bit. These prices aren't much. I mean, we don't know where they come from.

We don't know where they come from. We don't know where they're sourced. It in such good nick it just means they must have made all sorts of stuff you know what i saw in a charity shop the other day paul yes a little amber glass milk jug yeah that was commemorating queen victoria's silver jubilee in 1887 over 100 years old completely intact nice beautiful Nice. Beautiful thing. Lovely. But how much is that? I don't care about the stuff you saw in passing. Focus on the price.

Again, these aren't high prices today, Elo. I'm thinking 50p. It must be 50p. 50p. I'm going to say that first, but can I go back? We can go through the prices later, yes. So I might come down. So I get one per twing if I'm within 25p either way.

Right, okay. And I get two per twings if I'm within 25p either way. Right, okay. And I get two petwings if I'm on the nose. Two petwing-a-dwingers. Mate, I'm absolutely splanging for some hardcore petwanging. Yeah? Next thing. Here's the next thing.

He's handed it to me. It's a pamphlet or leaflet of some sort. It says here, it's an Edinburgh Speedway programme. That is what it is, Paul. But I don't know's an Edinburgh Speedway programme. That is what it is, Paul. But I don't know what an Edinburgh, a Speedway, or a programme is. Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland.

Is it? Have you excised it from your memory because you had terrible times at the festival? Ha ha ha ha. You did though, didn't you? You had a fucking full-fledged breakdown. Absolute monstrous one. Come on.

Come on. Now this is Edinburgh in Scotland. Yeah. Because you can tell. Is it a bike race through Edinburgh? And this is a programme about that. Because that's Edinburgh Castle depicted quite fetchingly.

What kind of style is that? It's kind of almost a... It's illustrative. Yes. It's very simple illustrative. Yes, it's very simple. Young chap, you assume it's a chap. You yes it's very simple uh young chap you assume it's a chap you can't really tell because they've got a helmet on helmet and protective gear yeah

um a person on a motorcycle is that i don't know i think it's a bmx or something it's like bmx it's uh well let's see have a little look inside 78 yeah wow it's interesting if you're partially interested in 1970s sports memorabilia. They are pedal bikes. They're sort of... So maybe it's like a kind of... But BMXs didn't come up to the 80s. They were a big fad in the 80s.

So this is what predates their dirt bikes or whatever. I guess, whatever they are. Because remember, think about Edinburgh's layout. That would make a really interesting bike race, wouldn't it?

Ups and downs and hills and curves and winding roads. You know what I think Speedway is? It's like you race in teams. Or do you go downhill? No, it's like a dirt track with jumps. Yeah. But it seems to be they race in teams because they've,

someone, there's space in this to put the scores in. How they've all done on the team. That's interesting. Again, pictures on our website of these things. All right, anyway, how much do you think that cost? It's a nice little bit of an objet d'oeuvre from the past, isn't it? Yeah, but of no interest to anyone. Now, think about the price of what you said at the towel.

How does that relate to this? It's so small. 15p originally, this cost. Wow. Which was relatively pricey at the time. 15p? Probably. Something like that.

Probably close to a quid now or something yeah oh go on have a think I'm gonna go up why aren't you talking to the microphone and tell us all

I'm gonna tell you all I'm gonna say 30p I think 30p I think they're just trying to get rid of that like 25 30 but I will say 30

to begin with okay okay right in my heart there's a groaning for some hardcore petwoning come on I can just make that rhyme with anything yeah I know that's why it's shit Right. In my heart, there's a groaning for some hardcore patwoning. Come on.

I can just make that rhyme with anything. Yeah, I know. That's why it's shit. Can you just tell us what the next item is? Oh, this is a cassette. Compact cassettes, which was a hugely dominant music format. It was in the 80s. We all had a Walkman or a personal cassette player.

It's apparently in places like the 80s. We all had a Walkman or a personal cassette player. It's apparently in places like the African continent. Yeah. It's still hugely popular as a format, music format. Probably makes a lot of sense considering what they've got

available to them. Well, and you can record onto it. It's very good format. Just the sound quality is the problem. It's only really the mechanics now that have cheapened

and ruined the quality of the tapes because even poorer tapes would sound half decent on a good deck. But that's what I mean. I mean, I heard about African hi-fi dealers coming to Europe to buy old tape players.

And then flogging them over there. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Repairing them and flogging them is still extremely valuable to that market. But what's this cassette about? This is the mosquito story. And it's not the story of a small insect No, no, no

They're referring to some sort of warplane Yes A propeller warplane, probably World War II A mosquito What does it say in the blue corner writing In the ribbon A stereo recording narrated by Raymond Baxter And Tim Matthews

Why should I know that name? Raymond Frederick Baxter was an English television presenter, commentator and writer. He is best known for being the first presenter of the BBC television science programme Tomorrow's World. There you go. Continuing for 12 years, from 1965 to 1977. Thank you.

Raymond Baxter. Okay, so him. And this is in Hendon. Because there's a little map on the inside. It's the RAF Museum in Hendon. And that's what is a little bit of souvenir on the way out the door. The Mosquito Aircraft Museum, Salisbury Hall, St Albans, Hertfordshire. And 78 as well.

Weird. The Mosquito Story. Narrated by Raymond Baxter and Tim Matthews. If the early warships of the Royal Navy were the wooden walls of England, then the Mosquitoes were Britain's wooden walls of the air in the dark days of the Second World War. MUSIC Mosquito, are you clear to start? Mosquito, are you clear to start? Clear to start number two now. Some 40 years after its first flight, a veteran Mosquito aircraft prepares for take-off in the hands of British Aerospace test pilot Christopher Capper.

The de Havilland Mosquito, according to Air Chief Marshal Sir Basil Embry, the finest aeroplane without exception that has ever been built in this country. about exception that has ever been built in this country. You can imagine having flown Blenheims, and then you get this new sleek, very streamlined, slinky, sexy almost looking aeroplane, and nobody really believed it. We always used to say that if we saw the fighter first, nothing would catch us until they started using jets. We found its single-engine performance with everything tucked up like something that we'd never met before. And we realised how satisfactory this must be

in the event of the suffering damage deep in Germany, being able to cruise back and indeed passing quite a lot of aircraft of other makes that were on to the entrance. And it had a marvellous high-altitude performance. She was so subtle. There was a subtle movement. There was a great speed. She was a machine that meant business. Someone from 78?

Someone was into Speedway and then came down to London and went to the Mosquito Museum. How much is that cassette, Mr Silverman? I mean... I mean... I mean... Not many people buy cassettes from charity shops. They give them away, practically. Yeah, they do.

Well, they don't, actually. They don't. It depends. You know what they give away now? What? DVDs. Oh, yeah. Literally, they have 18.

Can't give them away. Have you noticed that? Yeah. No, there's way too many. And usually lots of copies of FIFA of various years. Yeah. Filling out shelves. As well as music CDs are incredibly cheap as well.

Vinyl's much more, isn't it, now? Well, most of the stuff you find in charity shops are just mountains of classical music. Yeah, terrible things that no one ever wants to hear. James Last kind of stuff. Yeah, but you don't get that on CD. No, they're more generic. It's just mostly recognisable 90s albums you see on CD. Yeah, those terrible ones. Oh, look, there's Jagged Little Pill. Yeah, but you don't get that on CD. No, they're more generic. It's just mostly recognisable 90s albums you see on CD.

Oh, look, there's Jagged Little Pill. Oh, look, there's eight copies of Now 94. Anyway, how much do you think that cassette is? It's going to be... I don't want to go higher than 50 for this. I think this is like... Talking to the mates. I think this is like...

Come on. I'm going to say 55p off that. All think this is like come on I'm going to say 55p off that alright I don't I'm going to go and change what

I can't remember you said 55p no it's fine right here we go next one oh okay here we go this is item number four

there's a little bit of everything in this price of shite isn't there a little bit of everything oh god yeah I know it's awful but this is a nice shit

collection of stuff, though. This is a copy, a seven-inch single, and it's a copy with picture cover of Baltimora's song Tarzan Boy. Is that the right way around? Oh, God. And it's only just occurred to me now that that is based on the Tarzan yell.

Yes, that's why it's called Tarzan Boy. That only just occurred to me now. Isn't that funny? Was this a one-hit wonder? Was it reasonably successful? I think it was a hit, definitely, but it was a one-hit wonder? Was it reasonably successful? I think it was a hit, definitely, but it was a one-hit wonder. It's in lovely condition.

It looks practically... Is it? Practically unplayed. Yeah, because it's a fucking awful song. That's why. There's some spoogey stuff on one side, actually. Tell a lie.

There's some spoogey, spoogey stuff. Tarzan gloy. Gloy. Yeah, 1985 it was released. Apparently. And he got to... Well, I'm going to find out now, thanks to Wicked.

It's the debut single by an Italian-based act, Baltimore. The song was written by Don't Care, released in 85, as the lead single from his album, Living in the Background. The song was re-recorded and released in 1993. No shit. And it's been covered by several artists throughout the years. Where does it say it reached, though? April 85, chart performance here we

go was an international hit top five in italy as well as another country such as spain germany france and the netherlands france specifically was its most successful country topping the charts there for five weeks in the uk it reached number three three in september and in America, where it was released by EMI, it got to number 13 in 1986. It's a one-hit wonder, really, isn't it? I mean, they probably had a career to some extent after. But it's really aggravating. It comes out of the sort of

Italo disco sort of vibe, isn't it? Yeah, it's a bit kind of poppy Euro disco 80s. I'm not a big fan of that. I'm not a big fan. But we do not care. I think for its quality. 25p. We look for its price. 25p. Right.

25p. Right. Next. And what have we got next? It's more shit on dead formats. I'm losing. I'm actually losing enthusiasm. That means this is a good selection. Because a second ago my meters was twinging.

Yeah. In anticipation of all the patwinging. Skip on, mate. Skip on to the bit where you actually add content to this podcast. Oh, it stings when you hurt me with your tongue lash. You come in and out of interest don't you you just come in and out

like literally 30 seconds ago you're like ah I'm dead inside and now you're a little sprightly mad hatter bastard aren't you hey ye ye ye ye

right um this is for want of a better word Paul talking to the mic what is your problem I'm looking down

at the thing what is it it's a VHS everybody it's Jason Donovan's The Videos these are all his big big hits when he first broke

through being on Neighbours yeah Too Many Broken Hearts there's too many broken hearts in this world there's too many men who've gone

through divorces I don't know yeah something like that okay what else another tune that I don't... Because remember, I'm a big fan of Jason Donovan.

You know what? You'll be able to do this one. I wrote letters for Jason. The next one down after too many broken hearts. I never had this video, so I'm glad I've got it. Because every day... I want to give it a good watch. Every day it's cool.

Every day. I want to wank off to Jason Donovan. Is that the joke that's coming? Well, I don't... Yeah. It is coming. It's coming down the pipe.. It's coming down the pipe. That one's coming down the pipe. He wasn't even that good looking.

He was a handsome chap. What are the songs? Every day. Every day. It's getting closer. It isn't that song though, is it? It's not the Buddy Holly song. I don't know. What's the next one? You don't know. I don't know, but you don't know. Exactly. Sealed with a kiss.

I was there with an amenity for tomorrow and darling i promise you this that's a cover that's a cover of that song i love you sealed with my glist these are the versions i wrote to jason so i I could cover on my Jason Donovan cover album. It was going to be called Dirty Donovan, right? It was like dirty versions of all of his songs. Sealed with my glitz. That's going to be the big lead single on my Dirty Donovan. That's the best thing you've said all day.

Dirty Donovan cover album. I've released the whole thing if you want me to, listeners. Sealed with my glitz. Come on. What are the songs on there? I love it. Gliss. Come on. What are the songs on there? I love it. Gliss. Come on.

What are the songs on there? Wow, it's gliss. Where did that come from? It's that little pearly bead before the pre-commit. I know, but where did that word come from? I don't know.

I sent that into Viz magazine. Okay. Go on, next. And then we've got Especially for You. Especially my glue. I want to spray it all over you. I kind of remember that one.

And do you know what else is on this video? Go on. An interview. Oh, that's good. It's quite a little extra. Yeah, go on. That's it. That's it.

Give me it. Let me have a look at the... Oh, not a lot of video on it. 20 minutes, 89 it came out. 1989. Big spools. Big spools. Big spools. Big spools. But Eli. Big spools.

Big spools. A lovely pair of big spools on this. This VHS has got a lovely pair of spools. Yeah, too many broken arses. Seal with my glist. Every day I love you more. Okay, he didn't tell me that bit. It only says every day.

Oh, on the front? Yeah. Okay, on the back there's a little bit more information. Every day I love you more okay you didn't tell me that bit it only says every day oh on the front yeah okay on the back there's a little bit more information every day i love you more i don't know that must have been another hit yeah they don't even have a especially oh no they do have especially for you of course they do the big mega hit with kylie that was the one which was a duet anyway how much do you think that costs now i was saying that people don't pay much for vinyl or tapes anymore. VHS. In most charity shops you go into,

they have a little sign saying we don't accept them as donations. They don't. They won't sell them. No. Are there even any specialist secondhand stores that even deal with them? There might be some people out there who really want that, but I don't know who they are. They're all landfill fodder, really.

There are some that are extremely rare and collectible. How much? How much? This is like 20p again. 20p again. Listen, there's one more item left. I need to be... We'll go through it in the next segment, but there's one more item left, alright? God, I hate all of these.

I don't want any of these. This is the grand finale item. It's in a Hovis bag. No. It's heavy. Have you heard of Heron Foods? No. It must be wherever. It's both in two plastic bags from Heron Foods.

It doesn't say anything. It's like top quality, lower price. I'm going to say there's an address. No, there's not. I looked. But anyway, wherever Heron Foods is based. It's not around these parts, is it? No.

This is some kind of figurine. It's heavy. It's heavy. You could murder with this. It's not round these parts, is it? This is some kind of figurine. It's heavy. It's heavy. You could murder with this. It's wrapped in newspaper right now. It looks... I'm guessing some kind of gnome. I think I can feel the brim of a hat on this.

Okay. Let's see. It feels very hard. Like metal. Yeah. Now, I've saved this for last for a reason. Oh, my. I've saved this last for a reason.

It looks like some outsider art or something. Reveal. It looks like scary outsider weirdness. Reveal. What is it? It's a beardy man. Oh, it's a strange beardy man. What is that?

I think he's like a wizard, isn't he? Yeah. Oh, we're pointy. On here it just says, Bizarre Wizard Abomination. Oh, you've kept the price on this one. I haven't. Oh, did they? I mean, I're pointy. On here, it just says, Bizarre Wizard Abomination. Oh, you've kept the price on this one. I haven't. Oh, did they?

I mean, I don't know. That might be the right price or not. I don't know. Oh, I know the answers, but do you think that's related? I didn't even think to look there because honestly, looking at it frightened me. I didn't want to touch it.

Oh, it's very amateurish. It looks like it was made by a 15-year-old as part of some kind of pottery class in school or something. Yeah, maybe even younger. And there's some extensive damage to the wizard's collar as well. It really is a terrible thing and it has dirty bits on it. Actual physical dirty bits adding to the grotty... Someone thought, yeah, give that to a charity shop.

Someone's going to want that. You know what makes it sort of a bit creepy is the... The everything of it. The eyes that are just these pinprick eyes. Yeah, beady eyes. And the kind of mottled grey that's gone on the top of the head. And his hands. His hands, what are they doing?

They're pushing away or they're... Well, I think, again, there's some damage on both of them. I think both of them broke off. Yeah, and he's... Truly terrible thing. In a price of shite... But I will say... Is that it?

That's it. It's a light item. That was six. You've had the wedding tea towel, the Edinburgh Speedway, the cassette tape, the Tarzan single, the Jason Donovan tape,

and this awful wizard abomination, a clay nightmare. But I will say this, I made it last to point out not only its monstrosity, but also to tell you it is the most expensive of the items today. £2. You want to go with £2?

Yeah. It has a sticker on it that says £2. Fair enough. Shall we now? I'm getting petwings for free here. Thanks, Bobby Joe. Bobby Joe, thank you for the free petwings. But let's find out if the scores are...

What the scores are. Let's do the scores now. So, we're going to now review the scores. You can amend and adjust as you like now. Are you ready? I don't know. Seeing that £2 price sticker has made me feel more secure in my other scores, funnily enough.

Fair enough. But let's just go through it. And the fact that you said that that's the most expensive as well. Do you see what I mean? Yeah, but let's go through them anyway. Let's give you a fair... Let's see if you need to tweak it or not. I might tweak the betwings.

Tweak the pricing in order to increase the betwing. Eh? Eh? That was better. It was better, but it's not worth it. Yeah, but don't get overexcited about the very minimal amount of content you've added. Oh, I am overexcited already. I'm rubbing the smooth part on the inside of my thighs.

Cease your blathering royal wedding tea towel you said 50p sticking with 50p on 50p right our survey said hang on we're gonna go for the price i'm gonna give you a chance to amend now okay edinburgh speedway program you said 30p higher lower you want to keep it as it is so far. 35. 35. Okay. Mosquito Tape, you said 55p. Higher, lower,

higher. I'm going to go to 50 on that. You're going to go to 50 on that. Okay. Tarzan Boy Single, you said 25p. Yeah. Yeah.

And Jason Donovan Tape, you said 20p. Can you add them all up so far? So far, including the £2 for the Abomination. No, just leave that off. Just those items so far. Okay. So you've got uh 50 60 75 uh 5 25 uh 1 pound 25 50 plus 35 is 85 paul yeah i'm adding

50 on top of that now all right so that's 1 pound 35 35 then adding 25p which makes it 60 £1.60 and then then 20p then 20p for this so that would make it what

180 180 altogether on top of the to 380 yeah you said £4 limit yeah see what I'm getting at

yeah yeah but what do you want to do with this because also you might be getting I think I'm going to go you've said 20p for the video I say 30p for the video. 30p.

Right. Just to get a bit closer to the £4 there. Let's now reveal the scores, because they're locked in and they're all yours. Yeah. I've got a feeling I'm going to get some heavy between then. Well, let's find out. First of all, the Royal Wedding tea tile,

you said 50p. I said 50p the correct price was 75p oh that's it you read the actual price to me

when you made that mistake so 75p I get one between you get no you don't because it was out of by 20 oh yeah no you get one

25p either way so I'm going to give you a nice little tick there that's what we play for that's what we play the narrow margins for right so don't try and deprive me of my heart you could be doing well today mr silver i am going to say so end of speedway program you said 35p i did the actual price was 10p 10p so that gives you another between twing though, right? Because 20, 30, 35. Yes, it does. Another one.

Ooh, I'm loving my little plays. Per twing. I'm scraping up undeserved per twings. Right, next one. You said Mosquito Story Cassette was 50p. 50p on the nose, mate. The actual price was 25p. That's another per twing.

No, I'm working the 25, bro. He's swinging either way and whipping up points along the way. I really am. Every single item so far has been exactly 25p out. Tarzan boy. Not everyone. Yeah, everyone. Yeah.

Weird. 25p, you said, for Tarzan boy. Weird than the actual 25p margin was. And yet the price was 30p. So that's another per twing. Wow. I am fucking cleaning the art shit up. And...

Oh, I'm getting a glut of per twings. Jason Donatabe. Paul, I'm full of per twings. Calm down. Jason Donatabe. You said 30p. You said 30p. The actual price was 50p. It's another per twing for Silverman. Oh said 30p. The actual price was 50p.

It's another between for Silverman. Oh, my God. And then for the awful wizard abomination, you said £2. The actual price of it was, why it was £2. Oh, my God. That's another between.

Is that legit? Yeah, it's legit. You should have seen. So coming in at 1, 2, three, four, five, six, seven between there. Fucking hell. Seven between six items. This is it.

This is the moment I've lived for. Yeah. And the actual total price in all was 390. So you were 10p out there as well. So you were very close to the actual outcome. No, I guessed 390. Yeah, but you said 380. It was 380, you said.

No, I said 380. And then but you said 380. It was 380 you said. No, I said 380 and then I increased the price of the... £2.50, £3, £3.35, I increased the Jason Donner tape to 390.

£3.55, £3.60, £3.70, £3.89. Yeah, 390. Yeah, no, you're spot on there. I was spot on for the overall price.

And because it's Christmas, I'm going to give you another betwixt that. Fucking eight betwixt, mate. That brings it to eight betwixt. Oh, mate, I just want to thank my mum

my dad God it's a great day in the hallowed halls of Cheap Show HQ I want to thank this scary little

wizard I couldn't have done it without him scary little wizard man but Paul honestly that's going to make make some headway

on the overall betwixt of all time status which you were ahead on aren't you and to sing this out it's Dirty Donovan with that's going to make some headway on the overall betwings of all time status, which you're ahead on, aren't you? And to sing this out, it's Dirty Donovan with Especially for glue Especially for my glue I'm going to dribble it on your nose and onto you

I'm going to go to bed at about half past two but I can't after I've watched the match I taped it last night and I haven't watched it yet up in the sky but I've spunked don't start singing Orville

when I'm doing Dirty Donovan I wish I could go I am Dirty Donovan to bed with an owl but I can't you want Orville the Duck to have full sex with an owl. Why would you want that? I fancy the chutney owl.

I wish he'd put his chutney in my little nappy. How about you do the monkey? How about you do the monkey for me? Go on, right? Say, I ate that duck. Oh, I ate that duck. Yeah, go on, say it again. Oh, I ate that duck.

I'm going to fucking kill it. Yeah. Do a song from Joseph's Technicolour Spunk Coat. I close my mouth. He pulled back his curtain. Oh, then I saw for certain. Any glob of gum.

Don't ruin it. A glob comes in my eye. Shut up, you're ruining my song. Listen, we need to get out of this segment. He don't ruin it the globe comes in my it's shut up you're ruining my song listen we need to just get out

of this segment he you for certain ah he's about to go squirting ah in my open

mouth oh god oh Paul sometimes we have a fucking fan on this

episode so make those sounds because we're close to Oh, Paul. Sometimes we have a fucking fan on this episode. Don't make those sounds. Because we're close to sounding bloody... What? Nice. I sounded nice. Say I sounded nice. No, this is not our podcast's work. Sometimes you sound nice.

Say that. Eli. Yes, Paul. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know what, though, son. This segment's over.

This segment's now over. I was enjoying it, then. The segment's over. The segment's now over. I was enjoying it then. Yeah, I know. And I was too. Then you ruined it. What bit would you like when you're talking about cum and singing about it?

When I did Jason Donovan. We need to say what our favourite item was and stuff like that. That was particularly shit, all those items. All of it was shit. But if I had to pick one

to take home with me tonight, I would pick the Dirty Donovan video. You can have it. That's fine. I'm not going to stop you. You are. I see you eyeing it. I see you looking at it, eyeing it, going I wasn't interested at first, but Paul's made me interested, and now he's thinking, oh,

maybe I'll watch it. I'll find the VHS. How could I watch it? You've got a VHS. It's going straight back to the Chazzer shop. Along with Sylvester Sylvester flying carpet thing. And to play us out this segment, it's Dirty Donovan. Oh, please. Sealed with a glist.

That was funny about two minutes ago to me. No, it's a sad indictment of my creative stunt. I mean, every little thing that comes out your mouth. Every little thing comes out your mouth. Every little thing comes out your mouth. Every little thing just tastes like shit. Every little thing spots out my knob and then it goes right into your gob. Way-o!

Way-o! Way-o! Way-o! Way-o! Hey-o! Hey! Hey-o! Stop.

Don't start again. This is the last segment. I want to wrap it up. Don't waft it this way. Keep strumming. Stop. I'm not going to remain strumming. Keep strumming about that.

Well, don't do them then. Keep strumming about what came out of my bum. You're lucky I didn't catch it on the recording. It may have. Imagine if this was a podcast you could smell, like a scratch and sniff. That strum about what came out. You're lucky I didn't catch it on the recording. It may have. Imagine if this was a podcast you could smell, like a scratch and sniff. That's an idea, mate. It is a good idea.

Yeah. A scratch and sniff episode of Cheap Show. When were you going to do scratch and sniff? Wasn't there something in the magazine? I think there's something egg-based in the new Cheap Show. There is a scratch and sniff coming out in the magazine. Well, I don't know the details. I've sent my shop my tat egg pictures.

I know. Let me get the fucking sender. There'll be some pictures of my tat. Let me fucking finish, you dreary wank. You haven't started. Because I can't start because you keep cutting me off. All right, sorry. You fucking wanker.

I've lost my thread. Yes, exactly. Look, I was going to say, I was going to say that that's not something I know the details of, but then it's a very special edition of the latest Cheap Show magazine, which goes exclusively to all supporters on patreon.com forward slash cheap show. And it's egg based. And I think there's a certain scratch element

which reveals an eggy aroma. I think, I think there's interviews with Ethan Lawrence in there. Biffo's done an article. You've done a little egg thing. I've done a thing about- It's not a little. Don't diminish my tat. I've done an article about Paul James. There's lots of great stuff in there. Biffo's done an article. You've done a little egg thing. I've done a thing about... It's not a little. Don't diminish my tat. I've done an

article about ball games. There's lots of great stuff in it. More great art from the usual suppliers. I can't wait for it. And yes, supporters of Patreon, get it digitally for free. But you can get it as well to buy physically. And there's a link on our website, thecheapshow.co.uk So all the links for the merch

stuff is there. Tony's page, our page for merch. Spunk Rock's artwork for 300 still stuff is there uh tony's page our page for merch uh spunk rocks artwork for 300 still up there uh what else events magazine shop where you can buy physical copies all links there videos every episode like this one has a page dedicated to it with images and maybe sometimes videos because i might put a little bit of jason donovan on i might put a little bit of that on and what fun it will be i've lost lost my thread. So what? Website, thecheapest.co.uk, patreon.com forward slash cheap show.

Support us if you can, but as I say, only if you can. And if you can and do, there is a lot of extra content up there now. Pods,

videos, magazines, articles, behind the scenes things. All sorts of tricky business is there. And night bussing, it's happening.

It's night bussing, it's coming. Ding, ding. We're talking dates, people. Dates, ding, happening. Night Bussing's coming. It is actually happening. Ding, ding. We're talking dates, people. Dates, ding, ding. For Night Bussing. Yeah. So, there's all that.

And what else? Social media, Facebook, all the links are on our website. It's a one-stop shop. Or Twitter, at The Cheap Show Pod. I'm at Paul Gannon Show and Eli is...

Eli Snowid. E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. Now, for Joe Troller. Tweety, if you please. Will you be back next week to listen to another episode of Cheap Show? I don't think so. Oh, no.

Oh, shit. Well, fuck you. They won't after this week's fucking absolute shit show. Yeah, and it was all your fault. I couldn't get warmed up. And then I started, you know, getting fault. I couldn't get warmed up. And then I started, you know, getting hay fever. You know.

Shut up. It's the end of the episode and I'm done with this, that and you. You are. See you next week. Bye, everybody. See you next time. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.

I wanna be I wanna be I wanna be with you in that box Oh, it's just a little box we can sit in It fits about just us two We can kiss and cuddle in my big box We can blow the lid over if we want to get more of it Yeah, yeah I've got you good, I'm here cos come on love

It's sex time Sex time Sex time in. Sex time. Sex time. It's my sex time in my box. It's in my sex time. It's in my sex time. Shut up. I'm having sex time in my box.

I'll be in a sec. All right, I'm just singing me song. I'm just putting the track down. I've got to have sex in my box. In my box. In my box. Right, print that, Roger. I like that take. Put it in. That's a hit.