CheapShow - Ep 331: Brown Sauce

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

What’s all this then? Everything is back to front on this week’s episode. Instead of Eli, Paul is going to be the Super Taster in Off Brand/Brand Off. Can Paul pick out the HP Sauce amongst a few imitators? It’s a proper saucy romp as there are surprises abound in this battle of the brown sauces! Later in the show, Gannon’s Golden Games becomes Eli’s Excellent Entertainments as it is Mr Silverman who has discovered the board game! They both get to dabble in a bit of nostalgia as they try to wrap their heads around the rules for the Dad’s Army game, based on the very popular 1970s BBC sitcom. However, there is one draw back to having the hosts swap roles… Eli’s is going to get a taste of his own medicine, and Paul’s playing doctor! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-331-brown-sauce And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! URINEVISION 2023 is coming, so catch up with our 2021 episode: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-232-urinevision-2021 Send your entries to [e-mail] before 5th May 2023! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow NEW ART: Get hold of Spunk.Rock’s exclusive new CheapShow Artwork: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/CHEAPSHOW-EST-2016-by-spunkrock/115961855.WFLAH.XYZ www.instagram.com/spunk__rock Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Apparently I've angered Eli by simply teaching him mic technique. Something eight years in, you'd think I'd not have to do. Oh, you're taking this dirty linen straight out, are you? I am. I'm opening the basket of dirty clothes. I'm pulling out the shit stain on these. Riddle with skids. That is your mic technique.

And I'm going to give him a good scrubbing. I was in a band called that once. A deep, rubbly scrubbing. I was in a band called that once. What, the deep skids? You can't even remember what you said, can you? What is it? Riddled with Skids!

Riddled with Skids. Yeah. Riddled with Skids. We supported the squids. Although I like the idea. And the squids and the slits, and then we were riddled with squids. Riddled when there was riddled with crabs. Then there was riddled with fungus.

I know you say this a lot, but can we start again? Of course we can. Riddled with Skids. No, we're not lot, but can we start again? Of course we can. Riddled with skids. No, we're not Rinnit. We're in it to win it. Win it. This week. Win it.

We're in it to win it. Yeah, we supported them as well. Yeah, in it to win it. They were a good band. They were on Tuesdays. Whatever happened to them? They were really good. They dried up and fell off.

The winnits dropped off, did they? They dropped off. Oh, shame. They showed promise, the winnits. Yeah. They were quite fresh and zesty at first, but then they dried out creatively. Yeah, their last down was a little bit turgid. Anyway, it's a swopsy-turdy-over-ropsy-stopsy show today.

And I'm talking like Eli for some weird, weird reason. You've turned into me. I think this is a swopsy-dopsy show. It's a swopsy-upside-downsy- Swopsy-dopsy-ringly-ding is a swapsy-dopsy show. It's a swapsy, upside-downsy, swapsy-dopsy, wringly-dingly, wopsy-dopsy. Not wringly-dingly. Isn't it an opposition?

It is. It has to be an opposition. It's the dingly. It's the opposite of the wingly, isn't it? No, a tingly is not. It's rather like a wringly. It's very much like a wingly. It is, honestly.

If you took a... Wopsy-dopsy. If you took a control group yeah you know and did an scientific experiment and you said

here's a Ridley and a Diddley are these the same type of thing or are these things in opposition to each other I know what I'd expect as a result from that

I don't know they'd all say Ridley Diddleys Dingley Bingleys all the same sort of thing and that's our cold open to this week's cheap show

I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's just a fact of cheap show you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Cheap show. It's the price of shade. Paul Gannon.

Eli Silverman. Welcome to Cheap Show. And I go and I nuzzle. Hello, it's Cheap Show once again coming at you, I believe, like Cleopatra. I believe like Cleopatra and it is the economy no

it is the economy comedy podcast where Eli and I go for the bargain bins and charity shops and discount stores of this great isle of ours and deliver the interesting findings

we find at you via the audio medium treasure amongst the trash Paul yeah yeah that's what I should have said ah

but I'm having a wiggly diggly day today stop no we don't want to get off on the wrong foot with this Paul Yeah. That's what I should have said. Ah. But I'm having a wiggly diggly day today. Stop. No, we don't want to get off on the wrong foot with this, Paul. We really don't. All right. Because I'm in charge today. That's what it means. You're not in charge.

You're just swapping roles. What does that mean? I'm in charge today. That's what that means. Go on, then. You do the fucking admin. Right. What was it?

Oh, yeah. Well, you're in charge, mate. Oh, yeah. to the fucking admin. Right. What was it? Oh, yeah. Well, you're in charge, mate.

Oh, yeah. When you hear this, there will be two days left for your Envision song entry. Yes. We were going to make today the, what is it, the 5th of May right now when this comes out first.

That was going to be the deadline. But we reckon, basically, because we've had a bit of a spurge in entries recently. We've had a spike. As of this broadcast, as of this going out live on the internet,

you have until the following Monday. So what is it? So like 5, 6, 7, so 8th of May. And then that's it. I'm closing the door on it. This weekend after this pod comes out, basically. You've got two more days

and then I'm closing the door. So that's the first bit that I remember. We've had a load of fun ones. I've been listening to a few and we've got a good load to wade through. So once the deadline's closed, we're going to whittle them down to 10. We had two in today, didn't we?

As we spoke this morning, two popped in my little inbox. And as we've been saying the whole way through this process, Paul, your entries can be any length of time. Anything. Anything at all. Or it could not even be music.

It could be a howling scape of just voids. A howling scape of voids. That was... Eli. Winnet's first album. Eli. The dry Winnet's. Me brain don't work, Eli, today.

Your brain don't work today, Eli. Yeah. Right. So that's one. What's the second piece of admin? Do you remember that? The second piece of admin is events. Cheap Show Magazine is five years old.

I mean, we've just passed the birthday, but yes, she's been doing them for five years. Five years old this year. Yeah. we've just passed the birthday but yes she's been doing them for five years old this year yeah amazing we wanted to celebrate that well basically what i wanted to say to people listening is that if you want to support this podcast you can also do it by supporting event and the cheap show magazine now if you're a patreon supporter patreon.com forward slash cheap show you get a free digital copy but to help event you can buy physical editions of the mag and trust me they they are brilliant. Five years of genuinely great content, from guests who've been on the show,

to the guy who designed Simpsons characters. Did a cover. We did a cover. That's featuring us. Does that make us official Simpsons characters now? No, it certainly does not. Bollocks. Fine. Either way, there's loads of really good issues. You can get an app and does it anyway now, can't you? Yeah, true. And also, if you want to dangle a little bit of joy on, later in the year... either way there's loads of really good issues and also you can get an app and does it anyway now can't you yeah true and also

if you want to dangle a little bit of joy on later in the year dangle a little bit of joy on I want to dangle a little bit more joy on no let's do that Paul let's

I mean dare I say thwop it out and dangle a bit on thwop it and dab a bit of joy on the tip maximosamai thwoppage right okay so

the next issue of the magazine which will be out towards the next issue of the magazine, which will be out towards the autumn, end of summer, autumn, will be a Barshens special. Oh. So it's going to be a Barshens special. Oh, that's news to me. Didn't you know? No, you didn't tell me.

You've been dangling it. Oh, I've been dangling it. Are we dangling it now? I just thwopped my joy on your forehead, mate. Thank you. And said, sniff that. It's left a little greasy stain. It's left a little, little snail trail, hasn't it?

No, it's stickifying. I'll pop your forehead. It's stickifying. Anyway. It's like that stuff, Paul. It's like that stuff. Do you remember the fake smoke stuff you could use to get in tubes? Yes.

On Halloween, and you stuck it between your fingers, and then you made fake smoke with it. Yeah. It's like that. Yeah, welcome to Eli Remembers. Oh, come on. I'm in charge. Let me get this last bit out. Finish it, then. Right. welcome to Eli Remembers. Oh, come on. I'm in charge. Let me get this last bit out.

Finish it then. Right. I'm looking at the clock. Barshan special coming up in the future. It's going to be great. There's going to be lots of stuff there for Barshan's fans, but you can only get that issue if you become a patron or if you buy a physical edition of the magazine from Event's website.

There is metadata in the description for this podcast in your podcast app, and there'll be a link to the Cheap Show magazine magazine shop front whatever you want to call it on the internet i'm sorry i zoned out there yeah me too actually yeah don't paul focus happy birthday to cheap show magazine and thank you event for your seriously incredible work give those magazines a go if you love this podcast the magazines are Frankly better We are blessed To have We are blessed It's an unusual thing For a podcast

Of our ilk Paul To have a whole magazine Associated with them And a very good magazine At that Better than we deserve Right

That is the Admin out of the way Good Now to set up The pre-see of this episode Eli would you What What Sorry Dribble the pre-see of this episode, Eli, would you? What? What?

Sorry? Dribble your pre-see all over. Dribble my, that's what you said. See, it wasn't, it didn't make sense. That's why you have to, you have to lay down something for me. You can't hear my eyes roll, but they're rolling. Paul, lay something down that I can comprehend. Like a chain, a chain of meaning between you and me,

and then allow me to take control. Okay? Yeah? Okay? Right? Okay? You do that thing again, Eli. like a chain a chain of meaning between you and me and then allow me to take control okay yeah okay right okay you do that thing again Eli what

where when you talk you lean back from the mic and I have to adjust the levels in editing I'm not I'm just I'm in the fucking flow I'm riffing

don't hold me down grouse don't say grouse either you said don't hold me down oh yeah grouse well done thank you

that's a reference to every policeman's favourite band. E-L-O-L-O. Right. E-L-O-L-O. Anyway, this top... Irish Dew and 99 Let's Be Avenue. There you go. Job done.

Right. I'm in charge this week, which means we're doing two very familiar segments, but in the Mirror World style. How do you keep warm, officer? I'm under a vest. No, he wouldn't be. You fucked that.

Don't think too hard about it. No, you fucked it. What did the policeman say to the person who just put a shirt on? What? You're under a vest. Good.

I fixed that for you. It's a shirt, not a vest, isn't it? No, they kind of interchangeable. That doesn't work, does it? That's why mine was funnier. I made it up. No, but kind of interchangeable. That doesn't work, does it? No, they're interchangeable. That's why mine was for you. I made it like... No, but you don't want

to say the word vest in the lead-up, do you? I'm not invested in this anymore. Disinvest yourself of talking for a second. Go on. Okay.

You're in charge, daddy. So, we have two segments coming up in the show, Paul, today. We do. In which I will be the arbiter of filth. Wait, what?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're losing your credibility. of filth. Wait, what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're losing your credibility. We've got two segments, okay? Killed the energy as well, though. You see him. Kill it. Bang.

Energy gone. I'm trying to take the energy down a level. Oh, go on. This is like a waking nightmare doing this podcast, isn't it? Oh, what's that smell? Oh, what's that smell? Eli's shitting the bed. I can't do it. Oh, what's that smell? Oh, what's that smell? Eli's shitting the bed. I'm not shitting the bed.

What's that smell? What's that smell? Eli's shitting the bed. Oh, fuck off. I've told them. There's two fucking segments. A sniff, sniff, sniff. A sniff, sniff, sniff.

It's Eli shitting the bed. I'm not shitting it. I'm laughing, aren't I? I'm laughing, aren't I? I'm laughing, aren't I? Right. The first segment will be... What's that smell? What's that smell?

It's Eli shitting the bed. I'm not shitting the bed. Come on, come on. Eli shitting the bed. I won't join in either. I won't be joining in with that song. You want to, though, with all your... I do.

What's that smell? What's that smell? It's Eli shitting the bed. Ah-ha! What's that smell? What's that smell? It's Eli shitting the bed. Oh, hot. We do have fun on this show, don't we? Funny because it's true. Yeah. I wasn't shitting the bed exactly.

It was just sort of, you know, a bit... Yeah. Basically, off-brand, brand-off. But we're turning it around because you will be doing the blind taste testing today. I will. And then we've got... I'm not a light tester hat.

Good. Well, we're just about to get into that, Paul. But firstly... It goes over my eyes and leaves room for the mouth. And I have to say, people, he's already been at the product. No, no, no. He was getting the seal. And I just think it's right if I say that

it's not right you're creating openness and honesty about your behaviour you're cheating behaviour he's been at it I'm going to now edit in the truth separately after this recording you can't handle the truth

then don't edit the podcast you can do what you want then can't you it's my turn. I'm allowed to tell them that you cheated. All right, let me just set it up by this. What Eli's about to say is 100% fucking horseshit. I just pulled it up. It's fine.

It's past us. It's behind us. What happened is, we're going to do a taste test, and I mentioned to Eli, listen, you better unwrap these, because I don't want to accidentally... And then he goes straight in, ladies and gentlemen. I did not. With my tippy fingertips, I moved it away to the bin.

I better not be tasting this. He's looking at the consistency of it. And then Eli said, everyone. He's checking the weight. I guess I'm going to twist this narrative to make me look like Daddy Big Dicks. I'm not. Come on, Paul. Anyway, with that being framed, go on.

Spill your negative narrative. I know. I'm done with, like I said, I'm done with that. Negative narrative. Negative, negative. your negative narrative. I know, I'm done with, like I said, I'm done with that. Oh, a negative narrative. I haven't listened. Negative, negative. What's the negative, negative, negative narrative today, Mr Silverman?

You're sounding a bit like Oscar the Grouch there. And Alan Twat. I mean, it's one of my five voices. So, we've got that, and then in the second half of the show, it's the reverse of Gannon's Golden Games,

because I have purchased a board game. You have. And I've looked at the rules and I'll be explaining the rules to you and we'll be playing that for 20 minutes.

So what's it going to be called? Silverman's or Eli's? Silverman's scintillating sessions. Ah, you see what? No, it's not going to work that.

Sessions is more musical. What's a game? There's a word for games that begins with S. What about Eli? Use the E.

Eli's Excellence Entertainments. Yes, okay, I'll go with that. Eli's Excellence Entertainments will be okay, I'll go with that. Okay, Eli's Excellence Entertainment will be his edition of the board game part of this show, or games in general. Yes. So that's it. That's your show. It's going to happen

whether you like it or not. Whether you like it or not, it's happening. So with that in mind, let's just turn over. Let's go to the break, Paul. Yeah, let's just go to the break, Eli. Let's go to the break. Go to the sound effect, man. Let's flip to the sound effect. Hey, man, go to the sound, Paul. Yeah, let's just go to the break, Eli. Let's go to the break. Let's go to the sound effect. Let's flip to the sound effect. Hey, man, go to the sound effect. Yeah.

I'm into this now, Paul. What's that smell? What's that smell? It's Eli shitting the bed. What's that smell? What's that smell? It's Eli shitting the bed. I know.

Right. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand. Brand off, off, brand, brand. Come on, help me. Brand off, off, brand.

I've been saying that to you for years. I'm willing to help you. Please come in after I've done that a few times. Brand off, brand, brand. Off, brand, brand. No, you see, I'm off, brand, brand. You're gone. I've gone off, brand, brand.

How about? I've gone off, brand, brand. I've gone, no. Brand off, brand, off, brand. Off, brand, off, brand. How about? I've gone off brand, brand. I've gone, no. Brand off, brand off, brand off, brand off, brand. Brand off. I can't do it. What was I doing first? Let's just do it the regular way

because obviously this is confusing you considerably. No, come on. We're both grown adults here and we can take a phrase and reverse it in our heads. So what is it called? Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, bath brand.

Brand off, bath brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Brand off, off brand. Yes, it's Eli shitting the bed.

It's not. I'm not shitting. Off brand, brand off. Off brand, brand off. Eli shitting the bed. Right, we're doing off-brand, brand-off. You will be tasting... I am the master taster.

You are the master taster this week, Paul. I am. And you will be blindfolded and see if you can distinguish. Yeah, I'll be checking that. Well, let me just set up what the off-brand, brand-off segment is first before we get into the meat of it. Well, I was just about to say... Ah, you lost your...

Nah, it wasn't going to happen. It wasn't going to happen with you. I was just about to explain it. It wasn yeah it wasn't gonna happen i mean i was just about to explain it wasn't gonna happen was it though it's is it am i the one who's doing the segment like the way that you but then this puts the whole show in charge of you that's right paul that's right that's what you bit off chew it chew it down you're just a gravy swallow it swallow your own fucking agreement to do this push Push it down. Or you can swallow it back up. Inject it.

No, you need a shit. And you just pull it back up when you just push it back up the pipe. Yes, yes. Yeah. So I push the shit off this segment off the pipe of my bumhole. I love it when you say shit like that.

Now, yes. Off Brand Brand Off is a segment of the show where we taste a branded product alongside the off-brand version, often much cheaper, one or even two off-brand versions. And it's for us to see if the person who's doing the test can actually tell the difference and has a skill in guessing which is which. Because certain things have an amplitude. Yes. and guessing which is which. Because certain things have an amplitude. Yes, as well as, I want you to use that term as well today, as well as a little consumer thing where we say whether it's actually worth

getting the cheaper product. What's that smell? What's that smell? I'm explaining it. Eli, shit in the bed. Shut up. That's not going to catch on. It already has, mate.

No, just because I wanted to take part doesn't mean... It can be done with you, Paul, shitting the bed easily. Yeah, that's true, but you didn't come up with it, so it's too late, innit? I'm going to turn it round on you. So look, sometimes... Any songs you come up with during this reverse episode one,

I'm in charge of. So I own the copyright on that, on Eli's shitting the bed. I'll tell you what, then. What's that smell? What's that smell, Eli? Yeah, but in that case, in that case though, yeah, but in that case Eli, should I just do more of you which is talk off mic like this

or talk off mic like this. Jesus Christ. What do you want me to do? Shall I be unprofessional? Shall I be more unprofessional just so right now you can feel like we've dropped roles?

How am I doing now? Is this okay? Smells like sword shit out the bed. Shut up! Do you want to do this fucking taste test or not? Welcome to my world of pain, Eli. You're not doing

me. You're right. Look. Shut up. I just want to see what you do. Just do random things. You don't know random, mate. Oh, boffo, boffo, biscuit boff things. You don't know random, mate.

Oh, boffo, boffo, biscuit boffo. I don't see boffo. That doesn't work. Boffo, boffo, biscuit boffo. I mean, like, someone... No one likes it when you're like that. I love it. I do that, but I'm in charge today,

so I have to be sober. Sometimes the outcome can necessarily... No, sorry, start again. Sometimes the outcome can be... They don't know what we're talking about. We've lost this. This is gone. It's just you interrupted me when I was explaining it.

I was trying to say to people that sometimes the outcome isn't based on whether we can guess the proper brand, but sometimes do we find another one preferable? Even better. Even for the price. Sometimes the off-brand can be better, and sometimes we can consider it to be actual better value because it's not that much worse.

Yeah. And sometimes they're quite different. Yeah. Sometimes they have amazingly different profiles considering what they're quite different. Yeah. You know, sometimes they have amazingly different profiles considering what they are. I love sources. You love sources. Everyone involved with this show in any way at all

loves sources, Paul. They love the source. They love this source, that source, distinguishing sources. And that's why we have the Source Report, which is our specialty news segment talking about source. We're not doing a source. We have one bulletin. Just one bulletin from the Sauce Report.

Do-do-do-do-do-do, Sauce Report. Can I just say something? This is not your segment if you're not doing it. It's my Sauce Report. No, it's not. And if these are HPs, we're doing brown sauces. I just want to deliver, just let me for one second, all right,

deliver the news from the Sauce Report, okay? It's one thing, all right? Do-do-do-do-do, Sauce Report. This week's Brand Off, Brand Off will involve sauce. That is all. Thank you-do. Source report. This week's Brand Off, Brand Off will involve sauce. That is all. Thank you. Right.

Brand sauce. Brown sauce is what we're going to do today. We have three brands. I just want to be a winner. It's a Swap Shop reference, that, because what's the name of the band from Swap Shop? Beefhead. No, it's not Beefhead.

It's something like that, isn't it? No, it's Brown Sauce. Yeah, oh. Sorry. I just saw Chegwin's face there in my mind and you thought beef head you can see where I'm going there

yeah I can actually Chegwin's face beef head his head does look like a kind of wrapped ham for the oven doesn't it I don't know

I'm getting a bit weird there right so this is yeah under the level what's that smell everyone what's that smell it's Eli shit the bed I am level what's that smell everyone what's that smell it's Eli

shit the bed I am not what's that colour of the sauce that would be what it looked like if I did shit the bed probably

yeah it's brown sauce mate come on come on HP is our on brand sauce this week Paul

any thoughts about that who does HP stand for? Houses of Parliament. That's why there's a picture of the Houses of Parliament on the label. You know what? Were you today years old when you found that out? I guess I just didn't put two and two together. I just really didn't consider it.

You didn't know that. Okay. That's the House of Parliament. No, no, you're right. I totally agree. But I just never thought that HP... You know, like KP crisps. I thought it was something like that.

I want to look up HP sauce history. I thought it was something like that. I want to look up HP sauce history. Well, it is something like that, as in it's the name of a foodstuff with two letters in the name. Yeah. Or in the Wikipedia. Can I give you a little, am I allowed to give you that? Any sauce-based content is all right with me, Paul. Okay, HP sauce. Because I don't think brown sauce like this is a thing anywhere else in the world, bar the UK, right?

No. They have barbecue sauces and things, which is a bit of brown sauce. No, you have things that are very similar, but just not called brown sauce. In America, do they not have it? In Japan. That stuff that they put on okonomiyaki, you know.

No, fair enough, but I'm talking about... It's very similar. Bulldog sauce, you see it, that Japanese sauce. Okay. It's basically brown sauce. Okay, so I'm going to read this out. A brown fruit-based sauce, sorry. I'm very unfascinated, please.

So, like most podcasts now, I'm just going to read from Wikipedia. HP sauce is a British brown sauce, the main ingredients of which are, do you want to have a guess at what the two ingredients are it says here? Vinegar and sugar. They're probably in there, but it says here the major ones are tomatoes and tamarind extract. Wow, okay. Which I'd never really thought about before, and I'm not a fan of tamarind, as we've discovered on this podcast before.

You know those candies that we got, the tamarind ones? Yes, I mean, it's a hugely popular thing, isn't fan of tamarind as we've discovered on this podcast before you know there's candies that we got the tamarind one yes i mean they're a huge it's a hugely popular thing isn't it tamarind it was named after the london's houses of parliament click click you're right yeah after making its first appearance on british dinner tables in the late 19th century yeah hp sauce went on to become an icon of british culture it was the best-selling brand of brown sauce in the UK in 2005. It was 73.8% of the retail market. It's the Coca-Cola of brown sauces. Can I just speculate here for one second, Paul?

I think it's to do with the colonies. Like India. I think this is like comes from sauces that they... We can have a look in a minute. Chutneys. I think it's a sort of version of a sort of chutney relish. Right. I'm sure came from the Raj and the British.

Interesting thing here. The sauce was originally produced in the UK, but now is made by Heinz in the Netherlands. HP sauce is a tomato base blended with malt vinegar and spirit vinegar, sugar, molasses. So I got the second two. I just didn't. Yeah, there's a blind spot with the tomato. I knew it was had some kind of fruit or vegetable in. Dates, corn flour, rye flourye flour salt spices and tamarind it is used as a condiment

on hot or cold savory food yeah yeah and blah blah blah so history frederick gibson garten had a grocer's and provision shop in milton street in nottingham he was given a recipe for a brown sauce by one of his supplies that had been obtained in india yes of course yeah he used this recipe for the brown sauce in his pickles and sauce factory in New Baysford. Garton registered

the name HP Sauce in 1895, choosing it because he had heard a rumour that a restaurant in the Houses of Parliament had begun serving it. Ah.

The sauce bottle labels carried a picture of the Houses of Parliament, yes. This was by no means his only product. He also made Nottingham Sauce,

Sandon Sauce, Worcester Sauce, Banquet Sauce, Yorkshire Sauce and Daddy's Favourite Sauce as well as Garton and Coy's Indian Chutney. product he also made nottingham sauce sand and sauce worcester sauce banquet sauce yorkshire sauce and daddy's favorite sauce as well as garden and coy's indian chutney hang on too much information about sauce i'm going fucking crazy there that list fucking what what do we know but look nottingham sauce nottingham sauce what the fuck is that are these got all got hyperlinks no these sources got pages man yeah I need the source of this source, this profound Yorkshire source.

What the fuck is... And also, Daddy's Special, did you say? Daddy's Special. Daddy's Favourite Sauce, which actually, reading back, it's not a great title. Daddy's Favourite Sauce, but there's that brand called Daddy's.

Well, this is what it says here. So let me just condense these two paragraphs down. He was in debt in 1899 he sold the rights to hp sauce to a company uh to another company for 150 quid at the time however much that translates to now but he'd also agreed to keep out of the sauce and pickle business as a result of that deal i gotta get out of the pickle business i'll sell your deals but you're out of the pickle business you're out of the pickle business. You're out of the pickle business for life. You're no longer a chutney man. Oh, I was a chutney man, madam boy. Oh, I was only

doing pickles the whole time. The name of Garton remained on the bottle of HP sauce for many years afterwards, but it was the Midland Vinegar Company, which again is another euphemism, which profited from the huge sales. Today, HP and Daddy's are the two most popular brown sauces, and they can trace their origins back to a tiny premise in Nottinghamshire.

Let me just click on Daddy's. That's what I mean. Was Daddy's Special Sauce a type of sauce? Because now it's just a brand, and they do... Do you see? Well, look, it says here, the brown sauce product known as Daddy's. Spoiler warning, we're going to have a Daddy's on today.

Daddy's sauce was launched in 1904, and the ketchup was launched in 1930, so their brown sauce came first before Daddy's ketchup. The brand is owned by Heinz. It was bought as part of an acquisition, and the ketchup was launched in 1930. So their brown sauce came first before Daddy's ketchup. The brand is owned by Hines. It was bought as part of an acquisition. In 1899, Edwin Samson Moore, the owner of the Midland Vinegar Company in Birmingham,

went to see one of his customers who owed him a debt. That's the guy who invented HP Sauce. And then the man was Frederick Gibson Gart, the one we just spoke to, and he bought HP Sauce off and then launched Daddy's as part of his own company. Okay. So that's where Daddy's comes from,

as a way to do his own take on brown sauce. So they're entwined. Their history's entwined together. And also interesting that Daddy's is owned by Heinz now. Yeah. So it's competing with itself.

Now, is HP in a Heinz product? Yes, it is now, but it's made in the Netherlands. Heinz, so yeah. So these two are the same. It's weird, isn't it? You're not going to be able to tell the difference.

It's like finding out Coke owns Pepsi. Now, what would you say would so yeah. So these two are the same. It's weird, isn't it? You're not going to be able to tell the difference. It's like finding out Cocoa and Pepsi. Now, what would you say would be the difference between these two products? Off the top of my head from experience, I think the Daddy's is sweeter.

Ah. Shall we just get into the sauce? Okay, so we've got those two, which are the two big brands. Which is more expensive, the HP? HP considerably. I think that small bottle,

how much does that weigh? Sorry, does it say what that size is? This is 285 grams. So that was about two pounds something or other in Morrison's. And then that was £199. That was £199. So less money and actually bigger as well.

More. And then there was another one. This is the Morrison's Own brand. Yes. So we've got the off-brand brown sauce. And I think that was £150. That's the cheapest of the lot. Yeah.

And you get 450 grams. And like everything we've done on off-brand brand off before, visually to the eye, they're very similar. Brown sauce, plastic bottle, light blue, navy blue, black writing fonts. Okay, so those are the sauces you'll be tasting, Paul. You have some cracker there and three separate spoons. I'm going to be writing this down and I'll number all the sauces.

Excellent. And they will go for it. So this is Brand-Off, Brand-Off. I'm going to don my mask of mystery I'll number all the sauces. Excellent. And they will go for it. So this is brand off, brand off, off, off. I'm going to don my mask of mystery. And we're going to get right onto the sauce tasting right after this little nugget of sound. I have donned the mask. Now, the only reason you're keeping the mask on, Paul,

is because there is a considerably noticeable difference in the consistency on the spoon and the colour of these three sauces. Okay, is there? Yes. I would have thought there would have been much of a colour difference. No, there is. Okay.

Yeah, which we can discuss after you've done your test, of course, today. So don't forget to ask me that. Fair enough. About that before you leave, okay? Will do. I've also closed my little bookie book. Mate, I'm checking out over here. Just sit there in darkness

in fear of me coming over and putting my bum on your finger or something, right? That's what I do. That's what I put up with. It's a hard job, yeah? Get used to it. What's that smell?

It's Eli shitting the bed. I am not shitting the bed. Sounds like you're losing control, mate. I'm not. It's because you're being so insubordinate I sound cool and calm you sound like you're about to have a wobbly meltdown you're so cool

alright shut up I have closed the book which has the secret code I have numbered spoons here okay three numbered spoons now I want full notes and I'm ready to hand you your first spoon, which will be spoon number one, which I have written down what that is

in this book, okay? Are you ready for spoon number one? Are you ready for spoon number one? I'm ready. Right. I'm ready. Right. You ready for it? Yeah. I'm coming over. Right, he's going to deliver a spoon with the first of the brown sauces to my hand. Which way are you coming? I don't know. What's going on? Exactly. I'm on this side. Oh, I don't like it. Which hand

do you want it in? This one. Doesn't matter. Whatever you're nearest to, give me that. Okay, careful you don't spill it. Rest it on the finger, then I'll clamp it with my thumb. No, I don't want you feeding me. No, I'm not having you feed me. Right. Just put the spoon in my hand. Got it it careful you don't drip it all right is there a lot on there yeah okay i'm gonna have us i'm having a sniff sniff that is spoon number one now right now what's the sniff sniff saying it sounds very familiar when we talk about amplitude we talk about that specific collection of spices and flavors that are indelibly the recognizable brand you're looking for right so right now what are you getting right now this is this smells like brown sauce like hp but it's also slightly sweeter to my nose but

let's just go in your nose says a bit there's your nose is picking up something maybe divergent from hp there yes so i'm just going to go in dive in and get the whole spoon in my mouth it's a lot of it's a lot of brown sauce by the way i. Well, I want you to be fair, you know. Now, interesting. What's that like? Right now, this comes as close as... Masticate. I am. I got very jowly then. Right now, this reads as close but no cigar. So I would say...

Okay. What's the no cigar? Well, it's like... What's the absence of cigar? The texture's wrong. Okay. In which way? Texture.

Texture. And a slightly kind of sweeter aftertaste than I usually expect from a HP. So right now, based on this alone, I would say it's not the HP, but it's very, very close. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be too thrown off. Okay, it's very hard to say when you've just had the one sauce, obviously. We all know this, Paul. So put the spoon down there.

Good. Spoon is down. Good. Spoon down. Yeah, but good notes. When you say that the sweetness is stronger than you might expect from HP, is it an artificial sweetener flavour? No, it's more like with a HP.

In my mind's eye, a HP is kind of a darker flavour. Okay. It's a kind of a more burnt almost flavour. Would you like a little sip of water? Yes, please. To clean the palate before the second spoon. Give me water.

It's there. Close your hand. Don't be weird. Got it. I'm not weird. I'm blindfolded. And you're coming at me at all angles, mate.

I don't know where the microphone is. Just get used to it, sunshine. Welcome to the big leagues. Kigo. Kido. God, that came out

badly. Shit. Eli's shitting the bird. He is. That's the water, everyone. He's not tasting anything. He's cleaning his mouth out. Don't spit it.

Swallow. He's gurgling. Oh, hilarious. It's like watching a young Charlie Chaplin. The inventiveness, the physical play. I'm just rinsing my mouth out. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's quite a lot on that spoon.

You're trying to get a laugh. There will be no laughter. Yeah, that's fucking true, isn't it? Now, are you ready? Yes. Give me the second of the spoons. You are ready for spoon number two. Oh, God, please.

I'm coming around there to give you spoon number two. He's coming around there. Come around here. Hands out again. Before, rest it in me finger. The thumb will clamp down. Bit drippy. Why'd you put so much on then?

Just to give you... All you need's a penny's worth, is. Here you go. Right, okay. Got it? Yeah. Right, okay. What's the smell?

Strangely, not as strong. This one, I don't know. Ooh, it's... Not as volatile, not as much nose. No, it's kind of quite muted almost. Okay. Still familiar, like, spices there that I recognise. Right.

But of a brown sauce. But not as an obvious honk right i'm going in for the uh taste oh oh god oh there's lots wrong with that what's wrong with it uh it wouldn't be it wouldn't be all without a little bit of a gag it's super sweet super super sweet sweeter than the number one? Yes, considerably. Almost like the front and the back is sweet, and there's a little bit of the brown in the middle. Right.

You know, it's weird. So sweet on the front, and then really sweet after. Yeah, and very kind of gelatinous almost as well. Okay, the texture was gelatinous. Until I get the third one, I can't really rank them, but at the moment, this kind of reads like it's Daddy's. But I think Daddy's is just more ketchup-y, so I don't know. From the second, what would you say the first one was?

I would say HP based on that. You'd say the first one was HP, the second one was Daddy's. Just as a preliminary guess, yeah? Yeah. And what makes you say that? So you're thinking that... Because of the sweetness of that second one, made the first one, in my mind, go, oh, that's a lot darker a flavour than what I've got right now.

This one is either the Daddy's or the knock-off HP. Okay, well, you need to know you have to have all three... Where's the water?

Where's the drip? Got the water. You have to have all three before. So basically, one of these is a lot cheaper than the other two. Yeah.

Certainly by that spoonful, that felt... And of course, we know Daddy's and HP, they're probably not manufactured in the same place, but they're owned by the same company.

Well, yeah, back then. I mean, it's, you know, what are they using to define the difference between in their mind? I keep saying mind, that's boring. But when they get together,

do they go, what makes Daddy's different? How do we sell it where it's not brown sauce? Who knows what those evil, evil men get up to in their little rooms. Give me the final one because it might give me some context for the overall competition. I'm coming around with the third spoon, okay? He's going to spoon it in.

Right, Paul, it's time for spoon number three. Three. Smell that spoon. This smells very vinegary, this one. Very vinegary. Very vinegary, I would say, this one. Okay. So that's all I can tell you. There's obviously a recognizable brown sauce thing going on, but Very vinegary. Very vinegary, I would say this one. Okay. So,

that's all I can tell you. There's obviously a recognisable brown sauce thing going on, but very vinegary. Here we go. Oh, fuck. Oh.

Oh, God. You like brown sauce? Yeah, but first of all, I've had three big dollops of it. Yeah. And that's quite a lot to take in

because I didn't realise how gelatinous HP was. You mean brown sauce? Yeah, sorry. You don't know which one of those was HP? No, no, no, but I'm just saying, take in because I didn't realise how gelatinous HP was. You mean brown sauce? Yeah, sorry. You don't know which one of those was HP? No, no, no, but I'm just saying, you know, I don't... Brown sauce, you think it's thicker than ketchup?

It's not, it's about the same. It's probably the same. I just didn't really... You know when you put it on something, you don't think about its texture because it kind of just... It's out. I mean, if you think about it,

it is basically a type of ketchup, isn't it? Its main ingredient is tomato. I mean, yeah, but don't just say it's a sauce. Okay, so I'm going to say. Okay, what were the oven? Finish your notes on spoon number three, please. It was just. It had a gelatinous texture, you were saying.

I think the first one was HP, right, on reflection now. And it's a toss-up now between which one I think is the daddies of the last two and which one I think is the more. Why do you think the first one was the HP? Just because in my head it was closest to it. What you think HP should taste like? Yeah, apart from, like, again, it's different when you have it without the context of a chip to dip it in or something, you know.

So I would say, first it's HP, but I would say the last two are interchangeable in terms of their profile. So it could easily be you gave me daddies just then and the Morrisons in the middle. So I'm kind of, I mean, it could easily be you gave me Daddy's Just Them and the Morrison's In the Middle. In the Middle. So I'm kind of, I mean, look. Which did you prefer?

What was your favourite of all three sauces, let's say, before you make your final guess? Probably the first one. That was your favourite? Yeah. Okay. Off the back of a spoon, it was the most palatable. It had the best amplitude.

You said it had an amplitude, didn't you? You said that everything was in balance, not too sweet or sour with the spice. It's difficult because we're doing this out of context of it with a meal with chips or chops or whatever you know it and that's chips or chops and that's kind of the profile isn't it so what i'm suggesting to you is that maybe i'd have an easier time if it was on the side of a plate with some chips i could dip it into it my brain reception would fire off differently was there any significant difference in texture between all three? No, all three had a very similar texture,

but the difference was the sweetness. And the first one wasn't as sweet as the other two, and I think the second one was the sweetest, which is why I'm thinking that's Daddy's. And that last one was Morrison's, because it was the closest to the first in flavour, but still had this weird tangy, sweet-after flavour thing going on. Anyway, I'm going to lock that in.

You want to lock that in. I'm going to lock it in. Number one, just to get this right, you think number one was HP. Yeah. Number two was Daddy's. Yeah. And number three was Morrison's, yeah? I'm going to go that way, yeah.

Okay. Take your blindfold off now. I'm taking it off. Oh, it's so bright. Yes, and sweaty. So bright. Now, Paul, spoon number one.

Yeah. I can say now to you had the lightest colour. It was almost yellow rather than the sort of darker. Okay. Darker brown. To me, the first one was very kind of

chocolate mousse coloured. I thought it was quite brown. Yeah, but what do you mean? I had it down my nose when I looked at it from under the hat. Well, it's yellow. I can tell you,

I've had them all three on the spoon. It's very much yellower. And you said that was the HP. You thought that was the original. Do you want to bet this is not going to be the Morrisons? Go on. It is the Morrisons. How funny.

Number two. Yeah. You thought. Was Daddy's. Was Daddy's. And you said that. Did you say that was your least favorite? That was a super sweet one.

It was a super sweet one. HP. Are you joking? How fascinating that. That was the HP. I think this is a trend the big brands the ones they give you

the last ones were daddies yeah see this is the thing the last one was definitely like the sweetest it was but the second one was like the tart sweetest

so it was more intense so it was a bit better no the first one's still the best right I still stand by the fact no I know I'm not saying

you need to change them all the first Morrison's was the smokiest and the less sweet and just in terms of colour the daddies the first Morrisons was the smokiest and the less sweet. And just in terms of colour, the daddies, the last one, was sort of in between in terms of darkness between the Morrisons, which was the lightest, and the HP, which was the darkest colour. I don't mind not getting that wrong because that, in many respects,

has made me think, oh, look, the Morrisons knock off brand. Well, that's it. This is the kind of result we're looking for here on brand off off brand or whatever it's called. We're looking for the best value. And for your money, the knockoff, which is much, much cheaper, is just as good as the branded HP. Genuinely. It's kind of interesting that the Daddies was at the bottom because I would kind of say the Daddies was the worst one then. Yeah.

Okay, fine. How interesting. But the Daddies is the worst one. But if you look at the through the lens of them both being owned by Heinz yeah and we were talking

about the decisions they make HP's like what they look as a more premium or you know prestige brand but it looks like

they're just overly sweet they've overly sweetened it or something maybe because whatever they've done in the Morrisons one both those you said were too sweet and the Morrisons

was the lack of over sweetness which you liked can I have the Morrisons one just on me just pop you the bottle I just want to put a tip on my finger put a tip on your finger Morrison's one. Both those you said were too sweet and the Morrison's was the lack of over sweetness which you liked. Can I have the Morrison's one just on me? Just pop you the bottle. I just want to put a tip on my finger. Put a tip on your finger and then put some on the tip of it.

Your finger once you've got the tip on. It's always what I like to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's retasting a bit. Yeah, even with the other two in my memory now, that is a less sweet thing. Yeah. It's much nicer.

Good. This is a great result. So if you want to save money, go for the off-brand, at least in Morrison's. We don't know about other off-brands. Yeah, we could have done Tesco's maybe or Sainsbury's,

but I couldn't find a Tesco's off-brand thing. But definitely not forking out. You're just forking out for the design and the nostalgia and the little royal seal that has it on HP. Yeah. I think the last one I had was the worst one. The daddy's, yeah.

Well, I'm pleasantly surprised by that. I wasn't out to guess which one was the accurate one, but I'd much rather'm pleasantly surprised by that i wasn't like out to kind of guess which one was the accurate one but i i'd much rather do it this way where i go well which one was the actual objectively i know but it's not easy because you have just because you won't you don't think about when you have sauce on a meal you don't think oh this is hp this is that you don't you're not really it's not in your conscious mind like they taste the difference between these things so it's quite hard just to go in, which is a problem when I play the game. Yeah.

I often have with things. It's like, I don't know what I expect the differences to be. Or rather, yeah, what the differences are surprising in and of themselves. Yes.

Yes. Well, well, what a wonderful and factually reasonably quite interesting segment of the Off Brand Brand Off Off Brand Brand Off Diddle Diddle

Off Brand Off. Eli's exciting entertainment follows this short break. I can't wait for that. Go on, brand, off. Diddle diddle, off, brand, off. Eli's exciting entertainment follows this short break. I can't wait for that. Go on, press the button. Well, Paul, it's time now for a little thing I like to call Eli's Excellent Entertainments. Eli's Excellent Entertainments.

Diddle diddle, diddle diddle, diddle diddle. Oh, big old deed. No, I have to call time on this. You can't because this is my interpretation of your dog shit fucking brain. Please improve it. No biddle-dee diddle-dees, okay? All right. Diddy boys. It's just multi-families. Come on, I want rhythm. Like, here I am a derio.

Do this. Hang on. All right, hang on. Okay, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. It's very simple rhythm, Paul. No, no, no, I've got one. I've got one.

All right. It's Eli's Excellent Entertainment Eli's Excellent Entertainment one two

one two we all fall down thank you yes it's Eli's Excellent Entertainment

yeah how about that riff on it baby so what have you got I bought a board game oh you bought a board game yeah how about that riff on it baby so what have you got I bought a board game oh you bought a board game

did you yes with your say so it has to be said yeah I sent you a little picture yeah and I was like get that I was in a charity shop in Crouch End

which is an excellently curated charity shop there's a few nice ones around there actually this is my favourite and I really can't remember.

It's got a really I should remember the name. I want to say like Octavius. It's Octavia. No it is. Octavia. It is. It's Octavia's

charities or whatever it is. Yeah it is. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's one in Kentish Town as well and there's one up the road from me. No I know that exists

but I don't think this one is one. Anyway. It's up the road from the clock tower though right? It's the furthest away from the clock tower. I think it is Octavia or it's going to be a All Aboard maybe?

It's not All Aboard. All Aboard! It's not an All Aboard. I'm sorry, I can't remember but they also have awesome stuff there usually

and this was behind the glass. They knew this was a good object. It was to £10 but no, it's not bad because I've seen it

incomplete going online on ebay for a little less right and a complete set is a little more than a tenner so actually for a charity shop for tenner is actually a really fair price it's less complete and cheaper and complete and more expensive okay well i don't really know about the pricing on board games and that's what market is i did see this was by strawberry fair which is fair now that's fascinating to me it's got a lovely smiling strawberry logo and it's a subsidiary of the company what does it say denny fisher yes it says strawberry fair by denny fisher do you know who denny fisher of strawberry fair is very much in that love is kind of font i don't know why 70s cheesy sort of we've had a few of their games on before in the past and we've never really talked

about strawberry fair now to be fair there's not much to talk about strawberry fair to be fair but who's denny fisher denny fisher is a british what ah see i was like oh who is it because you're right it's a subsidiary of straw uh strawberry fair is a subsidiary of it by den it says by denny fisher which is interesting toys which is like a you is like a fashion designer by Coco. Well, it's a person's name. Denny Fisher's a person. He was born in Leeds in 1918. Basically started out making... He was an engineer.

He was an engineer? He was into engineering. I'm into it. And his company initially worked with NATO to supply springs and precision components for its cannons. But at some point they started developing drawing machines from mccarno and eventually what made denny fish's name was the spirograph he invented the spirograph now that's a famous toy isn't it yeah and he sold

that to kenner in the us but it was called the toy of the year in 1967 after that it went on to create toys and board games and strawberry fair was its board game subsidiary division but specifically focused on licenses of tv shows and so for example we've got dad's army here they had are you being served on the buses dad's army it's a knockout generation game which we played last year on the bus is board game yeah i'd love to see that. Tom Baker's Doctor Who, $6 million man. Tom Baker's Doctor Who board game? Specifically, yeah. From the era.

Rod Hall's emu game, but I know what that is. It's like an emu head rotating on the spot and you've got to flick tiddlywinks into its mouth or something. Morkman Wise, Daleks and a multicoloured swap shop game which I do want to get my hands on at some point. Are, are these probably more

expensive than Dad's Army? I mean, some of those are more desirable. It's because they're quite rare and quite niche in terms of who wants them. So a complete set is more valuable to some dickhead like me who wants a Dad's Army board game. Well, Paul, I've had a little look at the rules of this and it is a complete set, like I say. Nice. It's not in a

great condition, but utterly playable. Yeah. I mean, it's a bit bashed up. The board looks fine and the pieces are there, so that's all that matters. Nice. It's not in a great condition but utterly playable. Yeah. I mean it's a bit bashed up. The board looks fine and the pieces are there so that's all that matters. So that's them. Now we have to talk

about Dad's Army for people outside the UK who might not know. Oh I've been fearing this man. You know what there's nothing wrong with Dad's Army.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Dad's Army is a sitcom based on the idea of because Dad's Army was a real thing in this country. The idea was all the

ex-soldiers and things who were too old to fight in the Second World War. It's the Territorial Army. It's the Territorial Army. It's the Volunteer Home Force. They were nicknamed Dad's Army because it was mostly, you know, older gentlemen who'd served their time in other wars,

like the Boer War or the First World War and things like that. As far as I remember, I seem to remember that Crofton Perry, who were the writers of Dad's Army, the sitcom ran from July 31st, 1968, and its last episode was 1977. Nine series, 80 episodes, and a feature film, and a stage show, and a radio version based on the TV scripts was produced.

Its highest audience numbers were 18 million people. Wow. It was huge. And when I was in boarding school in the 80s they were rerunning it every week and Paul I have to say it used to come on

and my heart would sink why? the true dullness of it perhaps it would appeal to me more now as an adult okay

but as a teenager no fair enough as a teenager why would you want to watch that it's really it's the epitome of cosy sitcom fare

it's just like you just watch it and just you can't you're just not involved in any way. But it's sort of broad, isn't it? But it's an interesting show conceptually. Because effectively, what it's about is men who have passed their prime, who have moved on to duller things.

Like, you know, the excitement of youth, serving in the army, having those medals or having those experiences, good or bad, you know, all that kind of thing. And then seeing what happens to those people as they get older. And when the Second World War rolls around, how they try and find their place again to be of use. And it's a kind of power structure thing, isn't it? It's about like, oh, well, now we're living like these dull lives,

but now we get to have an army regiment structure. Now, from what I've heard, though, it's the main two, Pike and Manwaring. Manwaring, yes. Manwaring, yes. Manwaring, yes. Who are sort of more fleshed out as characters, more sort of funny at the centre. And the others are sort of kind of types. But it's funny, isn't it, how it kind of... I haven't seen very much at all.

I have to say, well, I must have when I was a teenager. But I was just like so bored. But effectively... I was so bored. It's almost like a show about jobs' worths. Yes. You know, because Mr Manwaring runs a bank, if I remember rightly.

He's a banker, yes, but it's a class thing as well, isn't it? It's a class thing. It's class at play. Basically, what it's showing is, in this regiment, this Dad's Army regiment, how it reflects British society, those times, those types,

like the Spiv, the guy always on the make. That's right. There's a guy who's on the make, isn't there, as well, a sort of Spivvy character. The young guy who's too young to fight, who joins, because that's what he can do. Yeah, but you see what I mean? Some of those characters are more sort of one line

than the central ones, Pike and Hilaire. I mean, it was a big cast. It had a main cast of, what, like, eight, ten characters or whatever it was. It must have had something because it was hugely popular, wasn't it? Yeah. Anyhow, we've got the board game here, Paul.

Oh, interestingly, originally the show was going to be called The Fighting Tigers. Dad's Army was partly based on co-writer and creator Jimmy Perry's experiences in the local defence volunteers, which was later known as the Home Guard,

and highlighted the somewhat forgotten aspect of defence during the Second World War. Perry was only 17 years old when he joined the 10th Hertfordshire Battalion. His mother did not like him being out at night

and feared he might catch cold, and that inspired Private Pike, who was the mother's, the mothered kind of character. Yeah, and isn't there someone sleeping with his mum as well one of the other characters

I think so yeah again it has been a while for me so it's all those interplays and look without going into too much detail about the sitcom itself you know

it quite rightly has earned its right as one of the great British sitcoms I should have I should have another look I don't know it's gentle

but it's well written and like the thing is for me it was always in that same category as you know Last of the Summer Wine just something I couldn't tolerate at all I for me it was always in that same category as you know Last of the Summer Wine just something I couldn't tolerate at all

I would say it's better than that it is yeah I would say it's better than that you know because it's got I mean look what else did Jimmy Perry write he also wrote It Ain't Half Hot Mum

is that the one with Windsor Davies lovely boy lovely boy I know that young guy who did the Whispering Greengrass

am I right in thinking right okay I mean that's a thing we haven't touched on yet that sitcom and the albums that came from that show. What's that one on H-A-P-P-Y? That had him in it. No, that was a sitcom in the 80s about a hospital ward.

That was always on. Only when I laugh. Only when I laugh, yeah. But they went on to do Heidi High as well. It ain't half hot, mum. Heidi High. You rang the Lord. I couldn't stand Heidi High.

I'm sorry. I just don't care for their work very much. No, that's understandable. I'm sorry. Oh, God, Heidi, hi. It's bringing back so... It's the boredom, Paul. It's this supernatural level of boredom.

Interestingly, David Croft went on to do Hello, Hello, which is I just can't stand Hello, Hello. Oh, God, Hello, Hello. Anyhow, shall we play the game? It's doing my head in. No, because before we introduce the game, I've got to play the theme, and the theme's quite an important part of the show.

Because you know the theme from Dad's Army? Oh, yeah. Who do you think you are, kid? I think it's the best thing about the whole show. Yeah. That was iconic, though. But it's an interesting song. I'll tell you for why.

When you listen to it, it sounds like it came from the period, right? It sounds like it was a song that people sang around the old Joanna during the Second World War. Definitely has that. But it's not. It was written for the sitcom. Cool. It was brand new written by,

I think Jimmy Croft wrote it with some other guy. That is a classy thing to do. It's a good theme. I agree. But it was sung by Bud Flanagan, who was a guy who was famous for singing those war songs in the day.

And he was really old when he recorded this song. And it was one of the last things he did in his career. Oh, right. And so his authenticity sells the concept. It did in his career. Oh, right. And so, like, his authenticity sells the concept. It totally does.

I mean, it's good. It's a good theme tune. Because it's also an ageless sitcom in many respects because it was made in the 60s but it's about the late 30s, early 1940s. So it's got that blackout of feel

where it's like, it's ageless because it's already set in a different time. Yes. So you think that helps something to be ageless when it's... I think so.

I think in some sitcoms', when it's a period piece, it kind of helps prevent it from dating too much. It takes it out of the dated, being able to date. Yeah. And the song was released as a single in 1969 and re-released in 1975. Jesus, how much longer is this talking about Dad's Army bit going to go on, Paul? Bud Flanagan used to be part of the Crazy Gang. That's it.

Woo! Dad's it. Woo! Dad's Army. Woo, everyone. Eli's Excellent Entertainment. Bit of a damn squib for the first episode of it. Well, you are an untalented cunt,

so that makes it more fun. Oh, I was... Oh, you know what? I was sensing a little undeserved insult from mean Uncle Paul. Who do you think you are kidding, Mr. Eli? If you think you're on the wrong...

Don't put me in the Hitler place in the song. I'm not doing the Hitler thing. Yes, you were. Mr. Eli. And in the song, what is it? Mr. Hitler. So don't fucking start this shit with me. Who do you think you are kidding, Eli?

I'm getting the game out. Press the button. You piss me off. What else? Bud Flanagan's arsehole band in the popping windows. Good. All right, let's fucking play the theme and play the board game. I'm going to have you at this.

All right, good. Let's have fun. And you'll be listening to the rules from me. Yeah, we're going to explain the rules between ourselves now. And then when we come back, we're going to dive straight into the game and explain it as we play. All right, good. I just wanted you to know. Let's have fun. And you'll be listening to the rules from me. Yeah, we're going to explain the rules between ourselves now and then when we come back we're going to dive straight into the game

and explain it as we play. All right? Eli's Excellent Entertainment. Who do you think you are kidding, Eli Silverman, if you think you've shat the bed?

I've got a great big piece of finger sausage in my old auntie's head. I've got a great big piece of finger sausage in my old auntie's head. I've got the wax hero. She's come round here. What's that smell? What's that smell? It's Eli shitting the bed.

Come on, come on. What's that smell? What's that smell? It's Eli shitting the bed. I have, you know. Right. We have gone through the rules you okay with the

rules Paul fine we'll work it out as we go now effectively just to break down what we're playing because obviously you can't see it and

we're not filming this but there will be pictures of the board game on our website thecheapshow.co.uk effectively the idea of the game is you play a pair of

characters from the dad's army stable of characters and of the game is you play a pair of characters from the dad's army stable of characters and then the idea is you've got to go to a top secret base and then find your marker mark it's called the reference marker which we've uh randomly well i was going to get to that in a sec but basically that's your end goal and that's random depending on each version of the game you play and that is determined by picking out some random cards which tell you how across the board you go west and then north. It's a grid. It's a grid.

So my piece is on 10-7. And I'm on, what am I on? What was I? Red. Red. So you're 7-3. 3, black, 7, red. Yeah.

The red cards have all gone pink though, Paul. Over time, three. Three black, seven red. Yeah. The pink, the red cards have all gone pink though, Paul. Over time, yeah. So when you go to, you've got to start where your character lives on the board and then head to a WD Top Secret, get a card, action that card, and then you've got to head. Get both men, we should say. Both men. But you play as a team.

An individual plays two characters yeah so you've got the yellow team I'm going with yellow who are they Paul which were two Fraser

who's he Fraser's the Scottish man he's the funeral guy he's the one who went we're doomed so he's stingy is he so that's what I mean I don't know if he's stingy

it's a bit of a stereotype I personally don't remember if he's a stingy character he's a depressive more than anything else he's like the Eeyore he's miserable he's stingy, is he? I don't know if he's stingy. It's a bit of a stereotype. I personally don't remember if he's a stingy character. He's a depressive more than anything else. He's like the Eeyore. He's miserable, yeah. He's the Eeyore. If Man Wearing is Winnie the Pooh, right,

and Piglet is Wilson, then he's probably Eeyore. And who is Pike? You've started this. Pike in the Winnie the Pooh universe. Maybe he is... Christopher Robin? Maybe, yeah.

Christopher Robin. Fine. This is meaningless. Maybe Roo. Utterly universe. Maybe he is. Christopher Robin? Maybe, yeah. Christopher Robin. Fine. Shut up. This is meaningless. Maybe Roo. Utterly meaningless. Maybe Roo. This is pure spew from you.

Anyway, you're just trying to say something, aren't you? What's my second character? Pike. He was a famous one, right? No, Pike was the young guy with the famous don't tell him your name. Whose mum's getting screwed by one of the others. Wilson. Right.

So that's a bit sitcom-y, isn't it? I mean, soap opera-y. I guess. Isn't it a bit? I don't know. It had drama elements, didn't it? No, not really. Not really.

Can you put him back? Where does he go? Pike's mum's house. Pike's mum's house is where he goes, yeah. Right. And your characters are what? Because what you said about what the writer was saying, that's sort of like the autobiographical character, isn't it?

Because he was too young to join the army, so he was in the comb guard. Would you say that some of the scripts are sort of written as if Pike's experiencing it? No, not particularly. It's a big enough ensemble

that every episode can focus on a different character, but it's usually Manwaring and Wilson and all the other ones. Okay. Anyway. So, we've got one.

Start where you live. You've got them. Who have I got? I don't know. You tell me. Are you red characters yes there's a pair of blue

pair of green pair of yellow pair of red I've got Corporal Jones I'm playing red so Jones is the one who goes they don't like it up

that's a famous line isn't it he was famously what's he referring to a bayonet tip do you want to let me finish a fucking sentence before you just launch in

with more of your fucking brain claptrap dribble come on just say it. Finish saying what you were saying. I barely get two fucking words out and you've jumped in with more fucking arse gristle. I wasn't. I was saying something on the point there.

Please. Continue. I will save it till after. Nah, fuck it. No. You've soured it. I've not soured it. What's that smell?

What's that smell? Eli shat the show. smell? Eli shat the show I have not shat the show Stop sitting back there Like a fucking Pulling right off You look like a contented bez He's doing a little dance

You're doing the maracas Right I've forgotten now We were talking about this character Corporal Jones Well I was going to say He was the guy who the actor was really

was in his 40s but he was meant to be playing a guy in his 70s and he also released Grandad you know that song Grandad we love you

Clive Dunn Clive Dunn a man who played an old man for all of his life until he was old enough to play that real old man for real he was trapped in that

character almost oh that's weird anyway the next character what I want to say is what's he referring to you don't like him up a bayonet yeah that's not very nice to be fair no one likes a bayonet up the arse they don't like it up them no one does yes do you know someone who does well i can

see someone who have a fetish for having it but it wouldn't be a real bayonet it'd be some kind of dildo wouldn't it yeah it would be a massive dildo it could be someone's fantasy yeah but in reality it would kill you yeah it'd be extremely painful. It would be a terrible way to die, to be stabbed with a bayonet up your arsehole. Yes, that's what I mean. That's what I'm trying to say. I don't know why he found that funny.

I don't know why anyone laughed. Exactly. That's what I'm trying to get at, Paul. That's the way that always struck me, is that it's a great fucking line. Yeah. It's quite a gruesome line, isn't it?

Gruesome. Yeah. So your other character is Pike. No, who? Pike. Pike. They're all Pike. Godfrey.

Godfrey. He's the old man. The very oldest of the group. He's frail and a bit kind of gone in the air. Okay. Oh, he's a bit grumpy sessions almost. He's a bit grumpy sessions. Okay.

Now, I want you to do impressions when we make every move. Yes. Okay. I will. Good. And I'm looking forward to that. And then we've got one character who is in black.

That character is the air raid... Sorry, Hodges. Yeah. And the whole gimmick with him is he was a miserable prick and he was telling everyone to turn their lights out at night because obviously

turning the village lights out to join an air raid because you don't want the squadrons flying over, the Nazi squadrons to drop their bombs on your village. So turn out that light. Right, that was his thing. that was a bit of a jobs worth

it was a jobs worth okay you ready to start yes okay who goes first no who goes second

what's on first no you're skirting you're skirting there okay so you have to go to a WD top secret thing play a card

go home simple as that simple as that let's just let's just see how this rolls. Let's begin. Who do you think you are kidding, Mr. Hitler? If you think we're on the run

We are the boys who will stop your little game We are the boys who will make you think again Cos who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler? If you think old England's done Mr Brown goes off to town on the 821 But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun, cause who do you think you are kidding

Mr Hitler if you think Lord England is done Right, I'll let you go first. I'm going to roll two dice. Two dice, but you can only move one character on that two dice of your pair. I'm trying to get to my reference point. Reference marker, which is the red one, right?

Yeah. But I have to visit a... We've said this, haven't we? Yeah. Just roll your dice and let's just see where we go. All right, I've got a three. Three. So which one are you going to move?

He's moving... Oh, he's moving one of his red characters. He's moving old man Godfrey. Godfrey's gone. Right. I'm over there. And the map looks like a little village, by the way,

just so everyone's known. Your role now, Paul. It's like a little village with little houses and shelters because apparently you have to run to a shelter for the Nair raid. We'll worry about that

when we get to it. Oh, hang on. Right. He's got sixes. Twelve. Snake twelve snake eyes everyone that's not snake eyes no paul you know spider eyes it's not spider eyes evade 12 eyes spider eyes spider eyes do not have 12 eyes snake eyes spider eyes two spiders spider eyes shut up i would like you to move who do you want to move i'm just going to get up and do it myself so bear with me.

It's on the sofa here. The board, the playing board. Can I make my yellow? Yes. You are the yellow

players. My card's right in front of, my character's right in front of that card. You have to. But I've got to go. You can.

Oh, you have to go more though, don't you? Yeah. By the way, that's the other rule. When you roll a dice and you roll a seven, you have to move seven. So if you need to get into a house,

it has to be on your seventh move. You can't just do it on your fifth or fourth, for example. Similar to getting the end pie in Trivia Pursuit, isn't it? I'm moving pike. He's got to move 12 spaces. No going back. He's moved all the way around there. I should have picked up my route better, to be fair.

Okay. Your turn. Roll the dice. Now, you just have to visit once Your turn. Roll the dice. Now, you just have to visit once. That's all. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I have a two. Snake Eyes. He's got Spider Eyes. No, shut up. He did double six. I've done double one, which is Snake Eyes.

He's done a big two. I've done a number two. Go on, move your two. Okay. Who's he moving? Which one? He's got a red card. Oh, he's gone straight in.

So turn a card over. WD, top secret. I've got Godfrey into my top secret. Yeah, your base. What does WD stand for? Water closet. No, it... WD, war department.

War department, yes. Something like that. Pick a card. Don't shuffle them. We've shuffled them already. Pick a card now. Fucking eating into the time. So he's pulled out a Union Jack

card, which now means he rolls a dice and the number of that dice, is it the one dice? He has to pick up a certain number of Union Jack cards. No, it says the dice. Yeah, so roll a dice. No, two dice. It doesn't say roll the die, does it? It says two, the dice. Then roll a dice and

get that number of flags. That makes more sense to have fewer because if you had too many it ruins the game that's just conjecture the rules of weirdly vague some areas on this a bit weird i've got six anyway i got like good so now he has to pick out six union jack cards now it's time for these little wedges just like the credits of dad's army and i think that's quite a smart move because that's something that they'd visually you'd visually associate with dad's army that's the thing isn't it that's something that you'd visually associate with Dad's Army. That's the thing, isn't it?

Because you can't get the humour of the TV show into the game. But you can do the iconography. The iconography, exactly. Pass me that dice because you put it way over there out the way for no fucking reason other than the fact that you're better. Oh, come on, mate.

I'm giving you six of these. No, you have six. I don't get six, do I? Me, you drew the card, wasn't it? Sorry. Right, roll. But no, I have to move. I have to put these on the board.

No, you don't. I just save them. I save them. You save them for when they have an air raid. Yeah, so when the air raid happens, there are bombs that drop, and you can use the flags to cover up the bomb holes that are left. Right, got it.

Yes. Four. He's rolled a four. Who's he going to move? Who's he going to move? Who's he going to move? He's going to move Pike or the old one? They're all old.

I don't know. It's just really boring, isn't it? Bloody hell. One, two, three, four. Oh, he's in a WD top secret WKD. Mango spruce. All right, I'm picking a card. He's picking a WD top secret card.

It's also a Union Jack. All right, roll one dice for the Union Jack. Four, please. Give me four Union Jacks. Oh, I'm dishing out Union Jacks triangles like they're going out of business. Here you go, my friend. There's no...

You know what's quite refreshing about this? No money, is there, in this game? No cash, no monopoly money. No cash, no money. Which is quite refreshing. It is, actually. It's funny, now I think of it, how many board games have money in.

Isn't it? Yeah. Like, sometimes even games that it, how many board games have money in. In it? Yeah. Like, sometimes even games that you don't think deserve money have money in. No, they just sort of put it in, don't they? But they haven't here. They haven't here, have they? No.

It's my go. Your turn. Roll the dice. Give me the dice. I can't reach them. At least they're within reach and not, like, on the other side of the room up a fucking dog's arse like you put stuff.

Again. I'm going to chase a dog around the room to get the dice out. I think it's an unwarranted level of aggression from you. Hurry up. We've done five minutes. I've got nine. Who do you want to move?

You've got nine. Who are you going to move now? You've moved two yellow characters. Oh, I'm the yellow ones. You're red. I'm red. I've got the old bloke. Old bloke.

Clive Dunn. Do the impression they don't like it up them. They don't like it up them. A bit like that? Yeah. Oh, they don't like it up them. Move nine, please please before I give up right nine

might go here's your double dice didgy dush dush nine you also rolled a nine I'm just going to take his fucking headphones over you also rolled a nine Paul who are you going to move

who are you going to move you're going to go to a WD and this five six seven eight nine he's in the WD top secret. Now I pick a card. Pick a card. It's more Union Jacks.

Bloody hell. Roll for... Yeah. Are these shuffled? We've had three Union Jacks already. Two. Two Union Jacks, please. Okay.

More Union Jacks. We're going to run out of Union Jacks. Yeah. And then they just do nothing, I guess. Yeah. It's slightly vague, isn't it? You're good. Anyway, I roll a four.

So, where am I? I'm red, yeah? And I'm trying to get over there. So, you've visited one base, right? You've got to get your second guy. I don't have to. No, you only have to visit once. No, I know, but you have two guys. So, one has to visit them both. No, as a team, you only have to visit once. No, I know, but you have two guys, so one has to visit them both.

No, as a team, you only have to visit once. Really? Yes. Well, then I wouldn't have made the effort to go all the way over to that one. Well, you should have listened to the rules.

I only just found that rule out. Well, now you're finding it out. Okay, how many did I roll? Four. So now you're just

heading to your marker. Yeah, I'm trying to get to my marker, Bo. No, you don't go in the bowl. That's not a space. Yes, it is. It's not. It can go on the sea. It's only a space if your marker's Bo. No, you don't go in the bowl. That's not a space. Yes, it is. It's not.

It can go on the sea. It's only a space if your marker's there. Otherwise, it's just not on the path. Otherwise, you can just walk across gardens. That's what it says specifically. I told you. I didn't know that either. I thought you had to fucking use the path.

I literally told you. You can go. Well, then what's the fucking point of anything on this board, then? You just can't go in a building side by the wall. That's all. Is it one of these things where you roll two dice so if you move two,

you move two in one direction and five in another? No. Paul, what's the fucking point of this thing? There's no structure. Paul. I was moving along the path.

Oh, shut up. You may only go out the building by entrance. You may move anywhere on the board, even across country or into the sea. I read that to you before. You said, oh, look, can I go across the wire I read that to you before. You said, oh look,

can I go across the wire here, didn't you, before we started? Then what's the point of segmenting a pathway up into squares? It could just be drawn freehand and it could be anything. I don't know why you're complaining about this now. You're just trying to run the clock down, aren't you? No. Whose go is it? It's your go to roll. He's behind, that's why he's getting anxiety.

Who are you going to move? One, two, three. Why not? There are no walls anywhere. It's your go to roll. He's behind. That's why he's getting anxiety. Who are you going to move? One, two, three. Why not? There are no walls in here. No, because you have to come out the door. Door there, you fucking moron. Stop with this. Stop being, understand this.

Let me get this straight. Some parts of the game do have rules and some parts of the game are just a fucking free throw where you can walk all over the way if you want. You're just being a dick, man. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have walked around the pathways because it looks like you're meant to walk around the pathways the way it's broken up in the grid. You're just being a dick, man. But no, I wouldn't have walked around the pathways because it looks like you're meant to walk

around the pathways the way it's broken up in the grid. You can go on. A load of fucking shit, though. So nebulous. Hey, seven. Seven.

So now the game's over because we don't need to go to a hut anymore so there are no more dangers. So these fucking flags are pointless. Hey, I got Clive Dunn home to my reference point.

All right, good. Take him off the board. But now all these flags are pointless. Hey, I got Clive Dunn home. To my reference point. All right, good. Take him off the board. But now all these flags are useless because we can't go to any more fucking... There's no point in going to any more... No, there is. You could use it and see if you've got something good to fuck me up.

That's what you're meant to do. Yeah, but there's no point because look how fucking easy it is just to get home. Such sour grapes. You're not trying to go home. Why don't you want to try and go home? Because it's a dice, and you can't roll a one with double dice, can you?

So there's no point in me going close to it. Good maths there. About five minutes left of this fucking gobshite. This probably works better with more players, actually. Oh, I got a nine. That's not good. If there's more people playing, then this makes sense,

because more people are going to these little red huts to get cards. So you went along the pathway there, but why didn't you go through the grass? Because there's no point because you can't move diagonally. You can't get basic. No, what I'm saying is you went along the path there, but you could have gone on the grass

for those two moves. No, I couldn't because I can't go in the top of WD. Fuck's sake. My go. Fuck this. I hate this game. I actually hate it because I think with two people it's almost unplayable. Why? What's your issue? I don't understand. I went to the WD. with two people it's almost unplayable. Why? What's your issue? I don't understand.

I went to the WC. Because I've just said to you. You just said to me. If there was more people playing and there'd be more red cards in play, which means more bombs, more characters, more swaps, things like that.

The fact that you just got to go to it once and then go straight to your marker kind of means, as we've just only pulled out flags, there's no element of danger. There's no risk. Not this particular go round.

I know, so it's a particularly poor showing. Six. I can't go through those buildings. No, because they're buildings, aren't they? You can't do that. One, two, three, four, five, six. Right. How much did you run?

I've got a ten. Good. Clap. Right, he's going into another fucking hut. Pull a red card out. I've got... It's not a hut. It's a warded...

Whatever. It's a bloody top secret card, mate. Okay? Tell you what about this game. I don't like it up me. Fraser. Fraser, what does that mean? Have you got Fraser?

Yeah, I get to move you. I roll again. So you roll me now and then move me because you've pulled that card. That's to my advantage, yes. What if you hadn't pulled a character that I was? You just move a random character. Yeah.

But with no point because no one else is playing. Yeah, that seems to be an oversight. Stinky poopy board game, Dad. I do not like. That does seem to be an oversight, yeah. So I've got a six. I can move. Where are you?

I am. Where's Fraser? Yeah, move it away from my yellow marker. He's just sore, everybody. Seven. It's just not moving anywhere. You should go get a card to try and fuck me up. That's a better strategy, I think.

Eight. You'll go. Seven again. Seven is the most likely outcome. Can't go in there. I think mathematically you're not going to be able to get in there. You'll go. I think mathematically you're not going to be able to get get in there Paul's not having any much fun two minutes left of this was that a minute?

it seemed like a year yeah Paul's not having a lot of fun everybody roll the dice please oh I'm loving it ooh double six why don't you fuck off and die

my go nine trying it again Ooh! Double six. Why don't you fuck off and die? My go. Nine. Trying it again. Do something different, man. Yeah, then you get a two. If you get a two there, you've got one man home. Yeah, well, I won't. Can I have the dice, please?

Sorry. This hasn't been... Come on. Oh, ten. It's a bit shit, this, isn't it? Just move 10 so I can at least roll one more time and it can even out. Oh, he's done it.

He's got one man home. Pike's home. Pike's home. Look, he's overjoyed. Paul's overjoyed. You roll one more time. I'll roll one more time. Game over.

He's happy now. I'm not actually happy. 11. 11. I wouldn't move him there. You're going to be too close. Right. Last roll each.

Okay. What was your last roll? That was my last roll. This is my last roll. I'm within three spaces of home with my last man. Five. One. We didn't get any air raids.

That's lucky, isn't it? You can't get... Don't try and cheat now. So they can go over the wall. You can, but you don't even know where you were now. Watch this. He's going to try and say he's won now. Well, you're closer.

So there you go. You won. You are. Did I? there you go you won you are there you go you won i won yeah did i so you've got but did i really win you finished with fraser closer than i've got all right so there you go and how many flags did you go three two three four five six i've got six flags as well oh you were closer oh what do you think of the game then closing thoughts on the game paul. Here's what I think. What's that smell?

What's that smell? Eli shat the pod. Oh, what's that smell? What's that smell? Eli's sticking his pod out with his dirty grunt. I did not. No, I think that game would be better with another player. And I think we'd have to refine the rules somewhat.

And ultimately, if I had to give this board game a rating based solely on its existence outside of the Dad's Army license I would probably say it's probably about a 6 with a bit of refinement you could make an interesting game out of this

but the rules as they stand now they're not clear enough are they they don't really allow as a two player game a lot of chance a lot of you know there's no

hang on hang on a second because it says for two three or four players but there's only three teams and Hodges so you must be able to play as Hodges

that's why I thought you had to move them around the board I mean that must be but that seems like that must be a different game mustn't it well there's a Hodge card

in that pile right but unless you get to it that character's pointless yeah and if you're not another character on the board then what's the point of moving them around

the board anyway so there would have been more sense if you pull a card that says man wearing you have to swap with man wearing character on the board then what's the point of moving them around the board anyway yeah so there would have been more sense if you pull a card out there's man wearing you have to swap with man wearing space on the board yeah or hodges moves around the board separately gets in your way dare i say it feels a bit rushed out mate like the morcombe and wise board game that came out it's basically like a matching game you know like you turn cards over you have to match the that's it very simple so yeah a lot of these are rushed out. Look, it's probably better than the breadboard game.

Oh, everything's better than that. But with a bit of refinement, it's not too bad. It's nicely put together. It's nicely drawn. What do you think of the artwork, I was going to say? Lovely artwork on the board.

I like it. The design is fine. Yeah. I quite like the sort of simple design of the card-based, you know, it's not terrible. Yeah, and I like the idea that the game is based around

some kind of manoeuvres, role-play, practice thing. Yeah, so it's sort of on theme so there's some thought being put into the design but it doesn't seem like you say to have been followed through to a sufficient level like the game should have been based on the idea of like a war game scenario like a daft little one where you have to play the thing and the other people have to play the people invading your town you have to do xyz and then get to your location. As it stands, nice try, not good enough. But the rules were not clear enough, were they, in some places? No. They don't like it up them, do they?

No, it ain't off up them, man. It ain't off Heidi. Hi, hello, hello. Hello. Pardon. Ding dong. Mouth noises. Mouth noises.

And that's all for this segment of the show. Let's wrap it up. You have been listening to Cheap Show. I've been Paul Gannon. I've been Eli Silverman. I was in charge today. You were badly and you shat the pod. Hey, look, if you want anything else on this podcast in your brain,

go to the website, thecheapshow.co.uk. Also, patreon.com forward slash cheap show if you want to support this pod and remember give what you can but only if you can thank you on the twitter as well the podcast is at the cheap show pod and eli's account is called eli snowden you spell that e-l-i-s-n-o-i-d well we've had a lot of fun today whiffing up the dirty shit that Eli dropped on this podcast with his hack rubbishness. You said you wanted it. I wanted it.

I wanted to feel dirty. I wanted to be in your hands. You were, weren't you? You blindfold on. I was feeding you sauce. And I loved it. Feed me sauce, daddy. Spooning you sauce.

Spoon sauce in my mouth, daddy. We'll see you next week for more Spoonage. Yeah.