CheapShow - Ep 337: Cow's Parsley & Lamb's Lettuce

Episode Date: June 16, 2023

The sun is out and Paul and Eli have no intention of recording this week’s episode indoors. Rather than sweat it out in the House of Pickles, Paul recommends a wander around Stanmore Country Park and Eli willingly agrees. After all the drama of Urinevision 2023, a nice relaxing walk in the woods of North London seems like the perfect antidote the cheap chaps desperately need. Over the course of one long, hot Summer’s day, Paul and Eli will tackle cheesy cheap eats, they’ll attempt to value some Transformers themed Price of Shite items, Paul will discover that wearing shorts and traversing nettle bushes don’t mix and Eli will become obsessed with the word “pasturey”. Expect the usual arguments, confusing comedic scenarios and, with a bit of luck, a swing to have an accident on! Join us on a sunny day walk that will absolutely, positively be blessed with good fortune… Oh and stick around at the end of the episode for a new track from Noiselund: “Good Boy (Whistle in the Wind)” See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-337-cow-s-parsley-lamb-s-lettuce And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Listen to more of Noiselund’s work on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@noiselund Or follow him on Twitter @noiselund MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow NEW ART: Get hold of Spunk.Rock’s exclusive new CheapShow Artwork: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/CHEAPSHOW-EST-2016-by-spunkrock/115961855.WFLAH.XYZ www.instagram.com/spunk__rock Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

. Start again. Start again. If you're John and Jill... John and Jill and Bobby McFuckface. We'll be performing live later on today's show, but right now, no, it's... What does Bobby McFuckface do? Does he have a... He has no face. No. He just has a big fanny-shaped fucking

cosmetically, you know, created face gunge. No. And he fucking gets, like, jars. No. And he's like, what are those? Toby jugs. And he fucking gets like jars. No. And he's like, what are those Toby jugs? And puts them in his face. We haven't told him who we are yet.

And you've just got a fanny face. Fucking Toby jug up my face. Oh, I've built my own vagina face. Are you struggling, Eli? Are you struggling? Are you having a bit of a problem? Are you going to do a call back to some fucking shit you did

about me shitting my pants? No, I'm just free. I'm a free man. See, I've barely said anything and so far you've announced you've shat your pants. I want to say two things. You're like fanny-faced women. I have things to say before we say. All right, but can we just start? We've got to just start. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show.

We're recording this on Tuesday. It's one of the hottest days of the year so far in the UK, and I couldn't bear being in either your place or mine to record today. So I thought, let's get out and go to somewhere lovely. And a few weeks ago, I visited a place called Stanmore Country Park, and I thought we'd start our adventure here today. No agenda, no plot, no gimmicks. It's just me and Eli having a lovely old grumble and a tumble in the woods with a couple of snacks, and we do have a price of shite.

Yes, so it's a normal episode episode simply transposed to the great outdoors stanmore country park stanmore country park i was gonna say the um uh bobby mcfuckface or whatever it was you called him oh yeah he's actually just a blue version of bobbyFerrin so instead of going he goes he puts a big volume as Toby jug in his in his artificial face clench and then he plays plays the Bobby McFerrin you know cuz he plays his body but he plays it on the jug so it's like don't worry eat fanny be a fanny my face don't worry eat fanny now I'm losing confidence in the bit

I've lost confidence in this show yes this is the cold open how long do you want this to go on for I just have one or two

small minor points to make nothing that can't be saved for after the credits I want to save it alright ladies and gentlemen Eli's two small points

and then we'll get into the credit sequence here we go. Have you heard of Bim's? They're like a fast food chain. Stop. Don't make noises over what I say. This will amuse you.

What do you think their tagline? You know, because McDonald's, for example. I'm loving it. Bim's has a tagline. How bad do you think this can be? Is this a genuine thing and you're not making it up? It's a real thing. That's why I want to mention it.

I'm being informative for the listeners of Cheap Show who have interests. All right, let me have a guess. Is it Bims, eat this muck, you fuck? No, it is Bims, get your mouth ready. It's like that Eddie Murphy song, isn't it? Put your mouth on it. Is there an Eddie Murphy song where he says that?

There's a song called You Can Put Your Mouth On It, or Put Your Mouth On Me, or something. It means his whole body. One particular part of it. No, probably the lips for a romantic kiss. Not the tip of his lovely... Why the tip? Why can't I go all the way as far as i can get

down eddie right well what is your second what is your second point before we go into fellating eddie murphy material come on i bet your mouth i would suck him raw i know that for a fact your mouth he would be delirious after i'm done with him he would boomerang you're doing now i didn't get boomerang something or other and you're doing now. I didn't get it. Boomerang something or other and he would be a Beverly Hills cock in my mouth. And he'd go off like Dolomite in your mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't want to trade places though because I don't want you to suck my dick. So. What's going on? What's your second point? This is the last one. No, this is the sub point about bims. I have a sub point let.

All right. Okay. Then we're done. Then we can get into the credits. I can't remember what my other thing was. All right. Well, I'm sure it'll come to you. Right.

Go on. BIMS. Put your mouth on it. Not put your mouth on it. Get your mouth ready. All right. Okay. But that kind of suggests you need to take some kind of antidote or coat it with plastic

or, you know, it's not overwhelmingly positive is it it could be construed to be quite you need to brace yourself for this macabre and weird like you get your mouth ready when you're going to do a one chip challenge for example yes that's true or when you're going to you know eat dog shit for a for a movie maybe like pink flamingos yes so that's exactly what i was thinking of. Thank you. John Waters' and Divine's Pink Flamingos. Mate, what's your second point? Fucking Ronnie Corbett-ing this fucking shit.

I'm not Ronnie Corbett-ing it. You are a producer. Producer. Now. It is a producer. No, I do remember what my other thing is, but this isn't it. This is the sub-point for the hacks. Oh, no, they're called hacks.

They're called bims. Getting fucked off. Do you know what bims' Big Mac rip-off is called? The Big Hack. Yes. Is it? The Big Hack? Yeah.

How terrible is that? It's so terrible that... Get your mouth ready. ...because I just tossed that off as a thought. No, it's because I said hack. Did you? If you play back the audio, I said hack and... Hang on, let me...

I said hack by mistake before i gave it the reveal so you subconsciously picked it up yes yeah all right but how terrible is that excuse me i had to hack up something into this big hack well that's eli silverman's cold open ready for this week so please join us as we go a-wandering around Stanmore Country Park and have a lot of fun in the sun. Why don't you join us? You've left out my second point. Your second point can rot for now.

You can fucking just sit on it. You can put your mouth on it until we're ready. Thanks, everyone, for listening. See you in a bit. That's going to pay the fucking credits now. Yeah, do it. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles.

It's just a fact of Cheap Show you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Cheap Show. Off-brand, brand, brand. Off-brand, brand, brand. It's the Price of Shite. Paul Gannon. Eli Silverman Welcome to Cheat Show And I go and I nuzzle

Right, so we're about to set off now We just had a little cigaroo in the shade Stanmore Country Park Stanmore Country Park is where we're at today You can come here after dark, get fucking frottage. Go on, get your fingers right in my, right, right, goth. Right, shut up. No, I know, no, no. Go on. Go on, I'm bored already. Paul. You've bored me. I just want to say. You've sapped my soul. Okay, Paul, I just want to apologise, basically, for the little bit we did before the credits here in...

Stanmore Country Park. Stanmore Country Park. Stanmore Country Park. I don't know why I'm doing that voice. I invented and then sort of fleshed out, so to speak, a character known as Bobby McFuckface, who had had cosmetic surgery on his... Right, I'm just going to take the mic away from you

because you didn't flesh out... You didn't flesh out a character called Bobby McFuckface. I did a whole stage act with the Toby jokes, if you remember. So, I want to apologise to him. We haven't moved, by the way, since we started this episode and we've been here for an hour now. I'd like to apologise to Bobby

McFuckface. Imaginary one-off characters also have rights and I forced him to basically have his eyes, nose and mouth... Well, mouth enlarged and his eyes and nose surgically removed. Do you need me again for this podcast? Because I can go home. I will.

I want today to be chill. After all of last week's shit. That's it, I'm finished. After all of last week's madness. The shame of your envision. Your envision. I know, Paul. I didn't want to bring that up because fucking hell, mate. It's all dealt with

now anyway. It's sorted. Yes, it's all sorted. I paid Biffo back. Where'd you get the money to pay him back? So, you know like Ashen's been talking about a Barshan's reunion. No, don't tell me this. And he says he's been raising a bit of money and could I help with the finances? Look, I've got access to the cash, so I paid with the barshens reunion okay i didn't need to i think you need to cut that out of the podcast and also don't tell me there's been bad things

like your greed and avarice uh that came out in the eurovision live stream everybody uh but there's been good things and i think it's the triumph the triumph of sauce as a as a foundational stone in what this podcast tries to do tries to achieve and this podcast's legacy into the future condiments sauces squirty bottles and I've brought the little the breakout star I think of your envision the little sauce suitcase suitcase here. Everybody, it's here. Feel how leaden with sauce that is, Paul. I mean, just so you know, I am going to pay Stuart back

because I've been talking to Paul Putner and Paul Putner says he's got a little bit of extra money recently from a gig. Don't take advantage of Putner. And I said I was a bit tight for cash at the moment and could he help me out? So Putner can help me out with that if I need to pay Ashton's back.

Putner is like a superhero. Yeah. Okay. But if Putner doesn't work out, I can also ask Ash Frith, I think, because I think he's got a bit of money me out with that if i need to pay ash and back partner is like a superhero yeah okay i don't need to know doesn't work out i can also ask ash frith i think because i think he's got a bit of money coming as long as you pay me okay yeah i don't i will stitch my eyes open very much like bobby mcfuckface had to do before they put the cunt face on him he'd have to lube it himself with glycerin. Stage glycerin. No.

Stage liquid explosive is what you're saying. Glycerin. Explosive. No, glycerin's what they make on film sets, don't you know, to make you look sweaty. But no, wait. Glycerin's also that highly volatile explosive substance. That's nitroglycerin, my friend. You didn't make it clear to me.

Well, glycerin is a thing, and so is nitroglycerin. Just like Eli is a name, and so is Elijah, but they're two different names. Although one is a shortened version of the other in some instances. Hello! Boaty McFuckface. Sometimes I do wish we should have maybe given this plot

or this episode a kind of hanging device. No. Because otherwise, it is just the eli silverman mad mouth hour isn't it i would so host that now paul that's a good point and here we are in this fucking fantastic day it's actually not too overwhelmingly humid there's this little breeze in the in the shade we're in the shade of a large oak here can you see the oak shaped leaves yes classic classic tree classic shade now paul good point what's going to happen what can i look in the shade of a large oak here. Can you see the oak-shaped leaves? Yes. Classic. Classic tree. Classic shade.

Now, Paul, good point. What's going to happen? What can I look forward to on this outing, this episode we're doing in this wood? What's our immediate plans? And then long-term, oh, it's the mouth noise now. I'll tell you what,

I'm going to walk out the way. I'm just going to walk over here. I'm still going to look at you, but I feel like when you're near to a microphone, your prick comes out. Your Eli Silverman mouth prickery trickles out. So, all we're doing today is we're having a lovely wander around the Stanmore Country Park. And we're going to go clockwise, I guess,

from our starting point, which is, I guess, at the the south west corner ish of the park and we're going to go around and up to the high point where you get to see the whole of london from up there it's a great viewpoint and then we'll come back round where i'll show you a few things i discovered there is a swing eli oh there's a swing it's classic and i've got sauces everyone i don't know if i've mentioned that also i'm pulling the mic away I'm pulling the mic away I pull the mic away pull the mic away pull the mic away pull the mic away pull the mic away in the forest the county forest uh Eli sleeps tonight I wank him off I wank him off I wank him off, I wank him off, and he goes, Ooh!

He's wanking me off. I've come away. He comes on my chest, he comes on my chest, he comes on my chest, he comes on my chest. You're meant to be explaining shit, not doing the mouth noise. That's it, we're coming round here. We're coming round here. We're going round the park come around here we're going around here yeah we're going to go around the park clockwise from where we are and we're going to end the station entrance near to stanmore uh end of the line end of the jubilee lino uh we're going to end our walk there

and along the way we're going to have a few snacks and we're going to play a price of shite a very special price of shite as it's a little bit of a tease for you, Transformers themed. Well, that doesn't fit with the park, does it? Was there a Transformer that was a park? Yeah. Was he called Hampstead Heathon? That was so bad. It was pretty awful.

You think of one. All right. Stanmore Country Prime. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, it's ar...Stanmore Country Prime. Ok, fair enough. Yeah, it's a little bit better. Countrymas Prime? Urgh... Well, get ready for more Transformers stuff!

So we're going to start our walk now and we're going to find a little place to sit down and maybe try a few snacks and get this party going as we have a lovely little ramble through Stanmore Country Park. Oh, that log has soaked right through onto the ring. Direct damp on ring. It's probably got covered in bugs as well. Your arsehole's probably riddled. Riddled with spiders. Your arsehole's packed of spiders. Did you see those little flat, tiny little flat grasshopper aphid crossover things?

Yeah, they are. They could borrow up you're fucking you know they are in what they say the industry meet us munchers right let's get going let's enjoy this lovely day in this lovely part of North London lovely Hi guys. We've been, we've seen a little pond and we've been up a very long thin, what I'd like to call a past... I swear to God if you say fucking pastry one more time... Why? I'll smash your pastry with my... My pastry? I'll smash your fasci fascist pastry with my ashtray. Smash my... Smashish?

Listen. Smash my fascist pastry. We found the shadow of a tree and we've gone underneath its boughs and... We're under the boughs as we speak. Hey, look, it's another oak.

How funny. Yeah, well, it's an oak heavy wood i think it must be a very which it's wood heavy oak it's a beautiful park i have to say this uh stanmore country park wild and rugged really lovely lots of different types of trees like you say i'm noticing now yeah a lot of oak uh which you don't see you don't see that very often. No. It's old. And we've got a view to come, do we, Paul? Yeah. And we saw a pond. Yeah.

And there's a swing to come, a big finale, the swing. Oh, the swing. That'll be good. I'm looking to perform. Talk towards that. Don't talk towards me. I don't care. I'm looking to perform better than in recent swing episodes.

Oh, there's a big spider on me leg. Mate, I've noticed there's bugs. No, it's not a spider. What is it? Oh, it's a spider. on me leg. Mate, I've noticed there's bugs. No, it's not a spider. What is it? Oh, it's a spider. How big is it? It's a little.

Oh, I'm going to... I can't even see it. It's over there. It's not on your leg then. It jumped from... It's not big or on your leg. It jumped onto my leg and it was big, big as me hand. This just in, big spider crawling on my leg, not on his leg, not a spider, and not verified by me. This just in.

Oh, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. That was close to the watermark. It wouldn't have heard it. The mic didn't hear nothing. That was the sound of a levee being tested to its limits. The levee has burst.

That was the wettest fart I've ever heard. It was like an underwater fart. It did sound like Jacques Cousteau's Trump, didn't it? It sounded like the exhaust on Jacques Cousteau's underwater mini-sub. Anyway, we're not just here for larks and laughs under the boughs of this beautiful oak tree. Sub. Anyway. Anyway. We're not just here for larks and laughs under the boughs of this beautiful oak tree. No.

Here in Stanmore Country Park. We're going to try some snackaroos. We're going to do some snackaroos. That's what it's all about. Cheap show. Cheap eats is what we like to do, and we have loads of cheap eats today, don't we, Paul? Yeah, we do. Sauces. Do you want to make these out of the way?

And then do the candies later and the crisps. What are we doing with these? We have three Lunchables style, I'd say, snack packs. Only one of them is the Dairy Lee Lunchable. Two? Oh, no, Dairy Lee brand, but not a Lunchable. What are those? Filled crackers?

Yeah, so these are like Tuk's. Tuk. Tuk, Tuk. Jeez, what are your views? Ritz did them originally, didn't they? Ritz do them as well, but Tuk is the kind of name I remember. Tuk, Tuk. You remember Tuk from your views? Ritz did them originally, didn't they? Ritz do them as well, but Tuck is the kind of name I remember. Tuck Tuck. You remember Tuck from your childhood?

Yeah, I remember Tuck. I remember having Tuck in my lunchbox. I only had Ritz. There was only Ritz for me. For me, there was only Ritz. Yes, and we have Philadelphia. Sorry, had to adjust the mic, darlings. Right, so we've got, yeah, Dairy Lee filled crackers, whole grain crackers with a creamy and cheesy filling. Creamy and cheesy.

Yeah. Dairy Lee Lunchables, ham and cheese, so you get a biscuit, a slice of ham, cheese. Now, these are very popular, aren't they? Very popular for the kids in lunchboxes. Do you think something has to do... Beyond my time.

I don't think I had these when I was a kid. After your time. But they've sort of been a big thing in more recent years yeah yeah um do you think some their success is down to them being a bit toy toyetic toy like because you build it yourself so there's an element of make-believe chefery chefery tomfoolery like oh look You can say to your friend, little friend. You can say, I've got this. It looks like a Big Mac. I've made a Big Mac out of cheddar. It's a big hack from Bim's.

You need to talk to the microphone, because, again, I don't want to see your face. It's a big hack from Bim's. Get your mouth ready. Get your mouth on it. I'm about to spunk your mouth. Get your mouth ready. Anyway, and the third thing...

I like it to mouthwash with lemon. ...is a Philadelphia snack, light and tasty. Soft cheese cheese dip with breadsticks. Soft cheese. Now, which one do you want to start with first? Shall we start with the cracker? All right, I'll have a cracker first. Come in a little perferverated box.

Now, we both said we like this kind of thing. I do. I like this sort of thing. And I like the Dairy Lee brand of cheese. It's a nice, soft, safe, silly cheese. It's a bit underpowered for me. I like a more mature cheese. Little lunch-ready double packs.

Packlets. I have two of these. Yeah. I'm going to open one up now. Here we go. I feel like I'm being eaten alive. Just like this biscuit's about to. Not salty enough.

No, not salty enough. No. Not bad. Not bad. A bit heavy. A bit sort of stodgy, yeah. And too plain. I find the biscuit too plain,

and it's kind of got a coarse grain sort of. Yeah. Which I don't... Very plain. And very plain. Yeah. Which I don't... Very plain. And very plain. Hmm. And the dairy leaf... Now, I did keep it in the fridge overnight,

but it's been out a few hours, obviously, now. But the dairy leaf feels very claggy. Yeah, and tasteless. And it's really not what I wanted right now on a hot day. It feels like my mouth... No, the wrong choice. My mouth's being, like, having forced entry from, like, a lot of unnecessary... You didn't get it ready. You should have got your mouth ready. My mouth was not like having forced entry from a lot of unnecessary...

You didn't get it ready. You should have got your mouth ready. My mouth was not ready for this. So, we're both disappointed there. Maybe on a warmer day, a colder day. Yeah, not great, but it's meant to be a sort of outdoorsy... I'm going to give my mouth a little washout. Oh, yeah, I've got water as well we're just going to do a washout boys and girls whoa it's a hot day it's a hot day you need to

take on fluids and yes you can expect a spunk gag right about now eli you need to take on my fluids i've put it in this sock for you and i'll sap it it's actually dry fluid it's dry fluid so i'll just i'll do the crinkle sock over your mouth. How about this then? You get the flakes they'll melt on your tongue like snowflakes.

No, treat it more like Pop Rocks. It's all dry but you add water to it. You know, it's like that powder type stuff. Pop Rocks you don't add water to. What's the thing?

Pop Rocks is popping candy, mate. Popping candy you put in your mouth. Kool-Aid. No, that's popping candy. Yeah, that's popping candy but the brand I was thinking of was K mouth. What's this shit? Kool-Aid. No, that's popping candy. Yeah, that's popping candy, but the brand I was thinking of was Kool-Aid. This is Kool-Aid. Oh, we've got that to look forward to. No, we haven't done that already.

Yeah, this is my bag from a few weeks. Wasn't it awful? It was awful. Right. I'm ready for my next... Should we stay with Dairy Lee? I had one of these yesterday, I have to admit. Should we skip it, then? I don't want one.

Well, you need to taste it. What did you think of it yesterday? You tell me. It was so boring and unders under salted very much like that daily crackers the same exact sort of biscuit yeah it does say doesn't it uh a good source of protein i'll have some of it now really because i don't want any so if you're going to waste it yeah don't open it i'm going to eat the eat the meat i'm just going to eat the meat and And I'm going to have the Philadelphia snack, which is, you know, Philadelphia cream cheese and breadsticks. Well, I have to taste that. No.

Today's episode, Eli, is laissez-faire. I would like to taste that. Well, you can have a taste of that, obviously, but I'm not going to open another one. Okay, no, fine. Oh, I see the Philadelphia's got a little bit runny in the heat, giving it a slightly more... These dairy-leaf slices have wilted somewhat.

They have wilted somewhat in the warm, warm weft, warm weft of the weather. The warm weft of the weather. The warm weft of the weather has wilted the Wensleydale. Cheers. It's not Wensleydale. I know, but I couldn't think of any other W cheese. I'm getting bitten or stung alive.

I fucking hate the countryside. You can change the tune. Two minutes ago, you were gambling free and merry across. I know, and now I've sat down, I've got a wet arse, and things are biting my arm. I've got a wet arse now from the grass. There was a lot of dew on the grass from the shade. I like it.

It's given my bomb a slightly more moisture texture. Lunchables, if you're hungry, but the lack of flavour, everything tastes of plastic in this pack. Yeah. The ham is very plasticky the cheese is very dairy leaf is plasticky it's only nice when it's in the original

foil triangles because it's very soft mmm I like that yeah when it's like this when it's in slices this Philadelphia snack

thing though mmm yeah it feels like the soft cheese dip is diluted usually when I have a bit of a you know when I have a bit of dairy leaf no not dairy leaf Hmm. Yeah. It feels like the soft cheese dip is diluted. Usually when I have a bit of a... You know, I have one.

When I have a bit of Dairy Lee. No, not Dairy Lee. Philadelphia. It's recognisably Philadelphia, instantly. It's a different consistency to help you dip, because that's what you're doing. No, but even the stuff you get in the big tubs is dippable. This just feels like diluted Philadelphia.

Yeah. It's definitely like diluted Philadelphia. Yeah. It's definitely a bit more liquid or maybe again it's because of the heat. No, the flavour though. You're not getting a full creamy. No. Is it reduced fat in some way?

It does say light and tasty but it doesn't say oh. Yeah, it's reduced fat. It doesn't say Philadelphia light. No, but it's still they do it for the yeah.

That's what it is. There's a lack of milk fat on the back end. Yeah. You know what still, they do it for their, yeah, that's what it is. There's a lack of milk fat on the back end. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it gives it that sort of almost watery finish.

No, they're not very good, you're right. You're right. Well, this is a bit of a disappointing picnic, isn't it? These are all nasty. Oh, I've got sauce.

Oh, he's got his sauce. Maybe there's a rescue remedy at hand. Come on, Eli. Whip out your sauce. Sauce suitcase. Do-do-do-do-do-do. What do you think? maybe there's a rescue remedy at hand come on Eli whip out your sauce sauce suitcase what do you think you want one of those breadsticks in one of these oh yeah I'll save one before I eat it I've got a barbecue sachet yeah Heinz sachet away Heinz barbecue sachet

I have the chipotle mayo from McDonald's which I mentioned yeah the live stream. But I was suffering. It looks like a spicy toffee or diarrhoea. Spicy diarrhoea. And I've got a Leon Korean Mayo. Ooh. What makes it Korean? It's got like kimchi spice in it. Oh. Would you like to taste some of that? I mean, there's only two

breadsticks left. Is it going to be a waste of sauce? Use it on your dairy, please. Which one shall I open? I don't care. I'm not going to have any. You're not going to taste the sauce? No. I don't have to. Please, can you taste the sauce?

I don't have to, do I? No, you don't have to, but everyone would like it if you did. Everyone? Do you mean you? And our... So I can prop up your segment. Our supporters, our dear listeners.

For close to eight years, mate. Our dear listeners. For close to eight years, I have blithely let this segment happen. I've let it roll over me, and I think I've given it a good old British try. But, mate, I want out. I want out of the source segment part of this show. I want to tap out. I want to tap out and tap into something else.

Listen to how you sound right now, okay. Listen to how you sound right now, OK? Listen to how you sound right now. And understand, the sauce is what saved your ass for this money problem. I got sauce on it. Yes. Well, I'm just going to have the bread. No, can you taste this Korean mayo?

I'll have one bit of it, yes. Yes, that's all that you're required of you. Simply taste the sauce. I don't have a bin bag, by the way, to put shit in. Well, yes. Yes, that's all that you're required of you. Simply taste the sauce. I don't have a bin bag, by the way, to put shit in. Well, I can deal with that. I can deal. All right, come on. Ooh, it's spitting sauce flecks at me.

Oh, tonight it looks like a... Got a nice odour, has to be said. Very sweet, sweet, spicy odour. What did you say? Well, it's got a texture to like a pasta sauce almost. It's more watery than a dip, isn't it? You're going to take the whole lid off? It's more of a dressing consistency. I'm just don't want to spill it. I don't want you to open it. Oh shut up. Get a breadstick in there and have a sniff sniff first. Right I'm gone.

Oh it's on my nose now. You always do that. What do you think of the smell? It smells all right. Sweet and spicy. Sweet and spicy. Sweet and spicy. Dip, dip. Got a breadstick in it. This is, again, the Leon Korean Mayo. It's all right, but... I'm going to taste it right off the lid.

Oh, very sweet. Very sweet. It's almost got a spartane sweetness. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I do know what you mean. There's some garlic there. And there's some heat.

What do you think of that sauce? It's all right. I don't I don't know what would you have it with fried chicken yeah fried chicken would be good I think that's what they because they have to do their own nuggets don't they yeah so that's what it's for oh I would not I don't rate that and also I don't know I'm not sure about that too runny is it the heat though no it's not because when you mayo, I'm thinking something about... Thicker than that. More like this. More like this texture.

The texture of the Philadelphia. No, that's definitely light. It says light first, so it's definitely reduced fat. No, it says Philadelphia snack light and tasty. Yeah. It doesn't say Philadelphia light snack light and tasty. Yeah, but they kind of... Do you see they're trying to get round it?

Yeah, maybe. I think it's not fair. That is just underpowered, like most of Leon's stuff, I think. Have you ever eaten in Leon? No, because I've never felt... It's very bland-tasting food. Very bland-tasting to my...

Can I end this segment now? Because literally, mate... No, I'm enjoying this segment. Oh, God. This sauce just... I like this snack. This has been a good segment. It's just the sauce drains me.

It's like going shopping with your mum, the sauce segment. It's like you drag around the shops and you don't really want to be in fucking C&A when you want to be in Toy & Hobby, really. You want to be in the toy shop. Look at my gherkins breaking through the paper. No, you've got to be dragged around by your mum on the promise that at the end you get to go to McDonald shop. Look at my gherkins breaking through the paper. But now you've got to be dragged around by your mum on the promisor. We need a plastic bag. At the end you get to go to McDonald's.

Look at this gherkin. And then, of course, it's too late to go to McDonald's now. We'll do it next time. Look at this gherkin breaking out. I was only there to carry the fucking bags for my mum. Just take them back to the Renault 5. What a ridiculous excuse. I learnt me lesson that day.

My mum says if you come with me to the shops, we'll go to McDonald's. She's a liar. A fucking liar. Oh. Look, you could go... What are you doing with that? What's that? Is that a sandwich?

You're ignoring me, yes. Sandwich, show me it. This is... I farted on his sandwich. I farted on his sandwich, ladies and gentlemen. In an act of raw defiance. I'm not having fun now, Paul. You've taken the fun out of me.

You totally have. We've got crisps as well, that's why. Yeah, we can have that later. I'm going to get more sauce out later. Right, well, then you can dip your crisps in it. Isn't that going to be a magical thing? Tell you what deal. We'll do the...

Sauce with the crisps. The chipotle mayo. I've got this New Yorker sandwich from Wenzel's. God. Good value, but it has gone soggy. So coming up later, Tato's and more Tato's. That will be later on in the show. And a price of shite.

Yes, I said that to you, didn't you? And then what did you say? I'll sort that out, Daddy Gannon. I didn't say that. I'll sort that out, Daddy Gannon. I didn't say I'd sort it out. Yeah, well, you said leave it did you say i'll shut that out daddy gannon i didn't say i'd talk it out yeah well you said leave it with you or something to that effect it's new yorker from wenzels oh peppery right that's this thing went over i think it peaked with me farting on it the new yorker you know what had a bit of spewed porker upon it spewed porker i'm spewed porker upon it. Spewed porker? I'm spewed porker.

Hello. My name is spewed porker. Spew. Spew. I got a story for you. Hit me with it. It's your mother. It's your mother. My mother? What's wrong with my mother? She's down in the sewer with the rats. The rats are eating her pussy out.

My God. Gross. What kind of news story is that? Tonight on the 6 o'clock news, my mum's family's been eaten out by rats. You make the news, Spew. You make the news. I just got the stories for you. My mama don't want to know about the rats. They already call her Crocodile Carol.

Oh, yeah? Because she's got a snapper. And those rats are going to be in trouble when they come across my mama's snapper. It's the fight of the century! Come and see his

mama's snapper! Against all the rats in New York! She's saving New York City with her big old snapper. We dangle a bit of cheese, we drop it down into the sewer. They come in and then no more rats. That broad got a lady-killing vagina. Right, and that's...

Join us a bit later in the show for more of this classic woodland dialogue. Right, we're back on the move again. We're on the London Loop, apparently, though, still. We're on the Loop rather than the Nature Trail. And that's a nice modernist-looking bench there, isn't it, Paul, coming up? I thought I'd still have the recording, just as you saw a fucking bench. Oh, there's number nine over there, so it wants us to whittle and wheedle. Whittle and wheedle through the whey.

Are we whittling our way through the wheedle? Now, this is for John Hollingdale. John Hollingdale, Hollingdale 1938 to 2020 naturalist at Stanmore County Country Park where we are between 92 and 2020 nature and developed

and cared for the landscape you see around you and what I see around you is empty bottles and crisp packets and cigarette butts we do see the beautiful pastry if i may be so bold if you foot i swear to fucking god come on when you get into a word loop right when you get into one of your deep word loops yeah it restricts your creativity you know that right it doesn't allow you to come up with other spunk based humorous scenarios spunky about pastry. Well, you're doing it wrong. Now, Paul, just on a serious note, that's amazing.

How often do you see a bench and it's like the person who's commemorated by the bench kind of created the whole landscape you see around you? Certainly looked after it. That's a proper connection, isn't there? Yeah. Well, no, it says he helped to create it. Yeah, he created it. I mean, I don't know what that means, though. Develop?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, because even in a place which is as wild as this, it's still a park at the end of the day, and it's still designed by man. Yeah. You know? Who comes up with the pathways? Look at the size of that oak there.

Look at the size of that oak there, says Eli. Running away like a giddy child. I'm excited. That's a big, bad, big... What's that in the tree? That's a big mumma. It's like's a big, bad... What's that in the tree? That's a big mumma. It's like a treehouse. It's a box.

It's a treehouse in the tree. Ah! Ooh! Ooh, I got stung. Ah! Ooh! Ah! They stung me through my trousers.

Oh, it is like a treehouse. It's the beginnings of one, at least. It doesn't look very complete. It has no walls or a roof. It's just a... Mate. The bottom floor of a treehouse, It's the beginnings of one at least. It doesn't look very complete, it has no walls or a roof, it's just the bottom floor of a treehouse, isn't it? Yeah. But they've put some effort in, there's some planking. That's a magnificent, that must be a 500 year old oak, right? Something like that. I mean, at least. It's a big old tree. In fact, I'm going to take a, well I would take a picture of the tree, but my hands are full because I'm carrying the garbage from the previous segment.

Shut up! I'm complaining about the fact that I'm carrying this shit round when I should be taking pictures. I'm going to do that now. Hang on, let me see if I can get the tree house bit in as well. Right, here we go. Three, two... All right, nice.

I'm going to do one in portrait, if you don't mind. Here we go. Well, maybe it's still a thing maybe they have a secret way of getting up the gang who made it you know there's a remnants of a swing here that blue rope so that was obviously the way they get up i reckon it's one of these things where back in the day one person got up and then threw a ladder down for everyone else. But it's our first ever treehouse, isn't it, on our walks? Yeah, but it's a pity that we can't get in it. There's no way I'm trying that. No way I'm trying that.

It's a good 20 foot or 15 foot, would you say, in the air? The bottom floor of this? Yeah, yeah. And they've managed to find some proper planking and things to make a... It looks like old school furniture they've got. Yeah. They've nicked it from an old school or an office well there you go look at that we found our first treehouse on one of our walks

which where are we going there's no paths where we are well we're going to go back to the path aren't we and then what path where the path we were just on that i had to walk through metals coming up next on the show though what do i have to look up for too in terms of some structure price of shite, remember? And we've got a great big view coming as well when we get to the top of the peak of this. All right? Dinobot of shite. Oh, God.

Don't. Let's not get deflated. It's more the price of Cybertron. Right, thank you. The Cybertron is right. Or robots, bloody robots, knob robots. Knob robots. Knob robots. Knob robots. Now, and then what are we having after?

Ganon's Golden Go-Bots. How about that? Yeah, I like that. Call it Ganon's Golden Go-Bots. Yes, and what are we having after that? Then we've got some more snacks, then we just go home. There's no agenda, it's just a nice free ramble today through a part of London that I discovered reasonably by accident.

Fuck! It's the same. I was just about to say, in case you get stung, use this bay leaf. It wasn't a sting, it was the thorns on one of those spiky bastards. Really? Yeah. Still good for a scrub down, isn't it? I'm not having you scrub me with a dock. I want to scrub your leg with a bay leaf. It's not, it's a dock leaf. Sitting on the dock leaf of the bay. Leaf. Sitting on the dock leaf of the bay leaf yeah you missed it run pole of the bailey bay leaf all right i didn't miss it that's what i did you missed it otherwise you would have completed it

you missed it you were too busy docking it you didn't bay it dock leaf isn't even a thing yeah oh they are both things yeah doctor and the baileys right so we're heading now towards the highest part of this park which has a fantastic view so we're gonna wear oh mate we're climbing mate my tummy is mate please why is it on these walks i get windy because the bowels aren't used to being taken out and about maybe it all wakes up maybe he's just angry because I muffled him with a wet mod of grass luckily I haven't been affected emotionally

by any of these farts it's still not as bad as the one you let off during your envision that was definitely an open the doors situation yeah the heat's getting to me, I think. I'm getting silly. So we're going to carry on with this walk.

Oh, my back. Jesus Christ. Take it easy. I've just put my foot in a divot. That's all. Yes, I know. Look where you're going. I'm sorry if I'm creating red hot content.

Do you want... Oh, it's redding leaf on your back. Rub this... This knob leaf on your back. content. It's reading leaf on your back. Rub this knob leaf on your back. I'll rub my knob leaf on your back. Spunky kiss rings, 50 metres. Spunky kisses. This is my hell. This is literally my hell.

Carrying a bag of shit as my free-handed co-host just wanders around. Free-handed? As in, has nothing in his hands. Free-handed. Hands free? Yeah, but free-handed. That didn't work for me. I don't want it to work for you.

Nothing I do has to work for you. Well, I'm just saying it didn't work for me. Eli, get your mouth ready for this. Because I'm going to lay down some fucking truths. Oh, you're going to lay down some cable in my mouth. I'm able to lay down some fucking truths. Oh, you're going to lay down some cable in my mouth. I'm able to lay cable on your navel. A belly smelly. A belly smelly.

All right, darling, do you fancy a belly smelly? Oh, yeah, I'm going to eat your mango. Oh, what's in that little gated off area? What's in there? It looks like a golf course. No, does that say MI6? No doesn't what does it say there's a little i'm gonna have a look oh it's just a shipping container yeah i thought i had something special on the side it might be private property because again some of these houses like like Hampstead Heath, butt up to the wild forestry areas.

But there's traffic cones out and stuff, so it's a big lot of space. Maybe it's a recreation ground. It's like a rec ground. But we were saying before, it's not actually that big a park, this. But it's surrounded on all sides by other bits of green and open space. So it looks massive. Hopefully when we get to the top of the summit, which is where we're going now, this but it's surrounded on all sides by other bits of green and open space so it looks massive hopefully when we get to the top of the summit which is the way we're going now yeah we're in another valley here yeah we're going the arse

way around but it goes ups and downs we're gonna have to do a lot more upping soon though Eli just so you know because I think we're right at the back end and we need to head forward oh we're going under here all right cool all right let's carry on and we'll keep on talking to you later right we are now climbing we got a bit lost just a minute ago when we went to that bench we went left should have gone right because when we went left no no we went left yeah yeah that's what i'm saying when we went left we ended up in this forbidden hobbit land with a murky river.

Bit of a dead end, wasn't it? It was a bit of a dead end. We got a bit lost. But then I was looking for more general aspects of the landscape that I remembered, and I got us out. And I'm not trying to toot my own horn about that, but, you know, without me, you'd probably be there next year, stagnating in the bog without Scout Dog Eli.

Oh, you know, fuck off, bloodhound Eli. Scout Dog. I could sniff out the blood of a lady's cycle. We're on a very hilly bit now, aren't we, Paul? Well, it's all uphill from here, Eli, till we get to the peak now. Oh, this is great. What a beautiful park. Yeah.

So luckily we've come out of all the cows who what's that why is it called cows parsley they like to eat it to spice up their um normal cud can you carry something mate come on yes i'm in agony holding everything just be careful we're near a bin soon take that yeah and i'll take that right we're near a bin soon. Take that, yeah. And I'll take that. Right. We're near a bin soon. Is there definitely a bin on the top? Yeah, definitely.

Definitely a bin on the top. So, we're not too far away now. Fence gate. That's obviously... I don't know why you'd... Cows parsley back there. All the cows parsley. All the king's men.

A forest of cows parsley. A forest of cows parsley. We are, look. Hey, nonny no, and a cow's parsley. Dancing in the meadow. Big poops. Here we are in Stanmore Country Farm. Country Farm.

And the spunky man, he comes but once a year. Once a year. Oh, the spunky man, he comes but once a year. Oh, that once a year. He comes but once a year. Once a year. Oh, this one guy, man, he comes back once a year. Oh, that once a year. He comes back once a year. He comes back once a year, and he's funking right all down your gob when he comes round here. Some of the best cheap show material we've done to date, I think you'll agree.

Right, so we're coming up now. Oh, God. But you see how when you get to the paddle, how it looks different up here? Right. It looks bigger and deeper and more lush. behind us Wow yeah there's BT tower over there no it's not I know it's not no no you can't see right in yet no we'll get to it when we get to the top which we are why we're nearly there I see how nearly there are we i can't tell but we're nearly nearly nearly there

she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes she'll be wearing big white knickers when she comes she'll be taking off her knickers and showing it to the vickers God it's hot and I'm going uphill I've got a big bag on full of shit maybe I should forego the segments of this week's show Eli any segment

you can see the whole of Wembley Stadium now you can you can see that other hill there Any segment. Oh, now it's like an ocean. Yeah. You can see the whole of Wembley Stadium now. You can. Oh, you can see that other hill there. Oh, aye. The inc... Is that Harrow? Yes, over that way. In fact, that's the Harrow-on-the-Hill church over there.

Isn't that mad? That is the hill. That is Harrow-on-the-Hill. We can see the whole of it now. Yeah. Looking back from... Everywhere looks a lot more green from up here than it actually is when you get down there.

But it still shows how green London is. It's the tops of the trees, if you think about it. Oh, yeah. Not the brown interior. At this point, ladies and gentlemen, it's up to you to insert your own joke to the phrase brown interior. Go ahead, have some fun. Right, I think we are nearly there now.

It's levelling out. Let's take a quick break so I can breathe. out. Let's take a quick break so I can breathe. So if the Beatles were replaced with AI versions of the Beatles, they would be called the B-I-L tools. The B-I-L tools. The Beatles is how you describe them and pronounce it. The aisles beat aisles the beat aisles aloha aloha um we're at the summit everyone here in um stanmore country park and paul what a stunning view it is here at the summit one that would rival the rival of parliament hill in hastead Heath or Ali Pally. Or Ali Pally. A rival of even Ali Pally.

We're even further back from Ali Pally. Ali Pally is directly to our west, I guess, from here, as we face... East, that's east. Never, no, from where we're looking here, that's north ahead of us. Never eat shredded wheat. That's not north, don't start this. OK, so if that's our 12 o'clock, if that's our 12 o'clock, is that what you're saying? No, north is north. It's behind us, you twat.

Our north, though. No, our north. No, that's not what you do. You can't get out of this. North is north. I want my baby back. Oh, it's a bit windy. It's a bit windy. I'm losing you, Eli. It's a bit windy. I can't quite hear what you say. Can you touch me? Don't you touch me. It doesn't matter which way we're facing. You don't have your own personal... You have your personal clock, yes. All right, so that's my 12 o'clock looking at the London viewpoint sign

describing the horizon and the sights you can see along it. Then I would say to our 10 o'clock is Alley Pally. East. And then... And that's... No.

Because we're not looking east, are we? It doesn't matter where we're looking you fucking moron it's still east of us look i'm going around in a circle still that's east it just remains east that remains north for fuck's sake i got you to spin around i got you to spin around on the spot i'll do it again i like it I got you to spin around on the spot. I'll do it again. I like it. For no reason. Why are you putting the mic on my cock?

So you can hear your feet move. No one wants to hear what your cock has to say. I went for a pee before. And a fly landed on my willy as I was weeing. And he just like rode it out. Until I shook it off. Paul, I hate to tell you this, but that's one of the... There was a news story I read this morning when I was having my orange juice. Deadly, deadly cockating fly bug egg thing.

Your helmet's exploding. It's not going to explode. All eggs coming out of your helmet. Oh, ruptured helmet. It's like a broken kinder egg. No, before that happens, mate, I would jam it in your gob and let the eggs hatch inside your mouth. Well, luckily, I've taken Bim's advice and I've prepared my mouth.

Get ready for this. i've got it ready anyway to our west from where we are to our left to our left is ali pali and directly south of us we can see the stadium wembley state yeah to my north and then as you pan to the to the uh right the west over there is the, to the right we got Harrow and even further back we got Heathrow taking off, oh the plane's taking off. Yeah, you can see the plane's taking off down to the south of us in north of Weirwurst. There's another little prop plane. Single propeller plane. Prop, that looks real to me, doesn't look like a prop. Biplane. It's That looks real to me. It doesn't look like a prop. Biplane.

It's not a biplane either. Whoa, we've got all the jokes. Both of them. Fantastic view up here. Really incredible. As I said last time I was here, none of that elephant lettuce was here. What's it called? Cow's parsley.

Elephant lettuce. All this elephant lettuce wasn't here. It's a big deal, cow's parsley. Is it? Do you know lamb's lettuce wasn't here. It's a big deal, cow's parsley. Is it? Do you know lamb's lettuce? Is it like elephant's lettuce? They used to sell it in the hedge shops and stuff when you went to Glastonbury or whatever.

You could smoke it? Yeah. Was it any good? It's very slight heroin, basically. It's very slight opioid. Yeah, have you got... That's banned now, then. Yeah, they're all banned now, all the herbal hides.

But it was like a herbal, yeah. You didn't want to end up with that. Like, you know, you stay the night in some witch's house or something. And when I say witch, I mean a follower of the Wiccan faith. And you're like, oh, you know, I'm from London, do you have anything, some weed to smoke? Oh, no, I've got this lamb's lettuce.

And it's all musty, and you smoke like... The next minute you're waking up in the woods with blood on your hands going, where's the time gone? Not where's the time gone. What? People don't say that when they've just murdered someone in a trance. They say, where's the time gone when their last child leaves home and they're fucking... No, they looked at their clock and said, oh, I've lost three hours.

Where is the time gone? They would say, what the fuck is going on? Where's the time gone? It's when you're like an old bloke tending sheep. Where is the time gone? They would say, what the fuck is going on? Where's the time gone? It's when you're like an old bloke pretending sheep. Where's the time gone? Oh, Daisy. When you're an old man pretending sheep. You're pretending to be a sheep, the old man.

Pretending to be a shepherd. Oh, Daisy, you're my favourite imaginary sheep. I like sniff your chuffle. I don't know where the towel's gone. Anyway, we're going to do a pricey shot here at the peak, but there's too many people coming through on the thoroughfare, so as a result, we're going to save it for a little nook to find and record there. I reckon that's the plan.

It's lovely, though. You can see why people are attracted to this spot, though. Also, Paul, I think we need to find some shade, because my arms are starting to burn. It's really too exposed here on the summit. I'll give you some shade. Your clothes are starting to burn it's really too exposed here on the summit i'll give you some shade your clothes are whack man oh well that's deflated me your mama so uh so thin she can only get wet if she runs around in the shower yo just offensive and unfunny in every way that is a review of eli's stand-up act all right let's go find some shade see in a bit we enjoyed the view highly recommended is this

going to be another one of those episodes where you go yeah we'll put the lapel marks on so we get equal standing but no it ends up with you being the power boss with your top top end nozzle in my i could take it away, you're right, and hog it all to myself, which is what I'm going to do. The Paul Gannon Walkabout Show, coming to your ears, September 2025, starring Rutger Hauer.

Why? Don't. I'm subjected. AI Rutger Hauer. Rutger Hauer. Rutger Hauer. Rutger Hauer AI-er. AI Rutger Hauer. Rutger Hauer. Rutger Hauer AI-er. Hey, how are you?

Hey, how are you? I'm fine. I'm Rutger. How are you? Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, what are you called? Spew?

Stu Porkman. Spew Porkman. Spewy. Yeah, Spewy. Stu Porker. You still in the market for stories, Spewy? Yeah, I've got a nine o'clock bulletin I've got to get on top of. Okay, I tell you, I've got the scoop for you, Spewy, this time.

Old boy, old pal, I've done it. Your mama. Oh, no. Oh, I know. What about my mama? She's been up that pole again, Spewy. She's up that pole swatting at the bats. And she leaves a little snail trail.

Yeah, I thought you could go with the snail trail as a leading story. Not as good as the vaginal snapper. Hey, Spewy, I'm out here looking for stories for you. Your mama's doing this, your mama's doing that. Her vagina's fallen off lately. I don't know if Detroit needs to know about my mother. I thought we were in New York. You operating out of Detroit now, Spewy? My mother? I don't know. I thought we were in New York. You're operating out of Detroit now,

Spewy? My mother? I don't know. I don't know. Hey, Spewy! Can we end this segment now? Spewy, you know I've got one other tidbit for you. This is going to be the one. This is going to be the scoop, Spewy. Your mother, right? She's not really as good as rat-eating vaginas,

is her? Your mother, she, uh... I don't know. Nine o'clock. Headline., uh... I don't know. Nine o'clock. Headline. My mama, she don't know. Yeah, it'll be the story of your lifetime. I quit this fucking job. Right, come on, let's go.

Don't, he's pretending. I'm not, I am walking. He's pretending footsteps, everyone, while he sits on his fat ass. Out of the way. Can we actually go, please? You're in my way of walking. Shut up, you spook.

Now I'm running. Wait, I'm coming to a stop. You've come. I'm coming to a skidding stop. Whoa, how I'm the coolest man on legs. I've fetched him to my britches. That's the thing with Elo. Don't let him look

after your dog, because he won't play fetch the same way you expect him to. Here, dog socked my dick. Dog dick. Here we are, eight years later. Here we are, eight years later, dog dick, and I'm still dog'm still dining out on dog dick. I'm still dogging better than I ever did.

Let's find some shade, and then what we're doing, we've got... Price of shite we need to do. I don't think it's advisable to us to eat those fucking salty tatoes with no water. Wait, well, let's just go. Let's just go. Stop pretending to walk!

Oh, it's a lovely day, Paul. He's found his cigarette. We're not makes, are we? You are? Maple makes. No, I don't think we need to. Well, I don't... I don't...

Save it for Nightbussin'. We can go rogue. We can go rogue on Nightbussin'. Nightbussin' coming up, everybody. Episode two rogue on nightbussing nightbussing coming up everybody episode 2 yeah spoilers

no spoilers no spoilers so we're going to find a spot now to do the Price of Shite and perhaps taste some tatoes

yeah we can squeeze the tatoes in but we've got to get through it lickety split though okay you know we can't spend

half an hour fucking half an hour fucking doing that shit now it is a Transformers based Price of Shite game we've got, Paul. It is. How do you feel about your pricing acumen

on second-hand Transformers franchise-based tat? Nil. Poir. Nil. Poir. Me too. Nil. Meet us.

There's a couple of extra betwings I thought I heard mentioned there. There are. Well, there's a letter that came with the price of sex selection. A rather, I would say, costly price of shite, but we'll get into that. Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

There's two cranes in the distance. Mating. Can you see what I mean? Look at that secret bench. Oh, that's nice. It's a beautiful, lovely, lovely wild park. And although we did see quite a few people coming to the summit. Because it's a pathway. If you compare that to something like, again, like Parliament Hill in Hampstead Heath,

it's completely mobbed all the time. Yeah. We've seen some raptor birds. I saw a bird of prey of some sort. Did you see that? Yeah. I just saw a swift up there as well. Yeah.

Graham Swift. Then it works when I do that. It doesn't work. It does. I do it. Yeah, I can't. Graham Swift. Why is it when you do it, though,

it lacks, like, a humorous flavour? Because I know how to deadpan. No, you know how to brownpan. When you drop some of your stinky, compacted shit. You've become the king of farts, the undercover king of farts. I think I've got it most out of my system now.

And it's mostly only outdoor episodes I tend to get windy. Have you noticed that? I honestly think it's because you're jiggling your bowels around and it's going, oh, bubble to bubble. Maybe. Maybe. I'm open to any and all ideas on that one. We're down another little pathway.

This is like a mini pastry, if you like. No, stop saying pastry, or I'll push you in the nettle street. I've got a pastule on my knob head. Pasteurise that. Don't do my head in. Hey, Louis, pasteurise that. So, look, we in there. Yeah, Louie, pasteurise that. So look, we're going to find a spot, because when I was here last time, I found this kind of other space to go, and that's where I found the swing and everything.

Oh, the swing, we've still got the swing. We've got to find that. We need to reserve, I've got half a bottle of Lucozade original left, and that's it. I've got a bit of water left, and that's it. There's no taps, nothing. We're past the halfway point now with the walk so yeah and we can get to when we get to the subway train station there's a little shop there we can get a coke or something can't we? Yeah. Right so I think we're going to go left here because I think this

takes us on a little different route. Really? Yeah I think this does it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because that takes us back to the main entrance over there. The main entrance? The main main entrance. We just call the main entrance over there. The main entrance. The main entrance. We just call it main entrance. There's a little bench in the seat there as well, so I know we need to go this way. Ooh, hello, main entrance.

Hello, main entrance. Uh-oh. Now, should I have picked this route with my shorts on? I'm in shorts. And my delightful red top. Oh, shit. It is this way, yeah. Here we go. Ooh, ah, ooh. Oh, there are It is this way, yeah. Here we go. Oh, there are loads

of nettles, Eli, between here and where we need to go. You've got kegs on, haven't you, as well? I've got a docker sitting on the docker of the Bailey. I tell you what, I've got a plan. I'm going to send you out ahead of me and I'm going to put a bag in front of my legs and hopefully that will catch most of the action.

Mate, I don't want... You're going to have to get a dock the bag in front of my legs, and hopefully that will catch most of the action. Mate, I don't want... You're going to have to get a dock leaf out then and scrub my legs afterwards. So here we go. Here we go. We're doing it. Oh, I'm going to regret this. Oh, no. I don't think sending you ahead was a good idea, but here we go.

Oh, I... I think I'm through it. I think I'm through it. I think I managed to... Oh, hang on. He's laying down his life for me. He's putting... Here we go. Here we go.

Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving. That got real steep real quick. Sorry. I didn't expect that. My toe. That got real steep real quick.

And look where we are now. Oh, it's lovely and cool here, isn't it? Beautiful. Fernie. Oh, I've got a bit of it. It's lovely and ferny. I got stung to shit from my trousers. I got ravaged.

Look at me legs. Yeah. Oh, this is going to be... At least you're feeling it. At least you're feeling alive. I need to feel a bit, get a dock leaf, don't I? And rub it on the... There ain't none, are there?

Well, there should be. There's always a thing where it's like, where there's a nettle, there's a dock leaf. You should have took mine before. I didn't get stung before, though. Did I dip shit? Right, we're going to look for dock look for dock leaves ah my legs they've come up sore as fuck i can't see no dock leaf i thought i got through that unscathed oh you've got a ton of shit all over your fucking pasty calves mate

oh that is the measles bro that is quite aggressive come on let's keep going all right let's find a spot to sit down up this way yeah let's find a place to sit down It's the outdoor price of shite. It's the outdoor price of shite. It's the outdoor price of shite. Oh, it's the fucking outdoor price of shite. Alfresco, Alfresco, Alfresco, please hold your shiso. Alfresco, Alfresco,

oh, down your leg. Alfresco, Alfresco, Alfresco, please hold your shiso. Oh, Daniel, I like... Right, stop. Shut up, please, now. Oh, alfresco, alfresco. And that's a word I like. Alfresco, priceo de shiso. Here's the letter before we get into it. Hello.

Ciao, cheap show chaps. My name is Bee, pronounced like a bee or the letter Bee, from Bee's Bots Bonanza. And I have prepared for you for your delectation today a Transformers themed price of shite box that I refer to as Bee's Bots Bargains. Nice. Ciao. There's a good concept there. Here is some background and information and hints to get you started. Alright? You let, yeah? Ciao. Yeah? Ciao.ow one i have sourced all of these bots from ebay the prices the prices listed are for the items themselves and of course do not include p and p postage and packaging two every item was purchased for less than the recommended retail price that they went for upon initial release fine three the bots included are from a range of ages and eras

from transformers history including generation one the michael bay movies and anything in between Release? Fine. Three, the bots included are from a range of ages and eras, from Transformers history, including Generation One, the Michael Bay movies, and anything in between and beyond. The total for this box, and this is the one you need to pay attention to. I'm paying attention to some pickle juice got onto my paperback. Smear job, ironically enough, that book's called as well. It's now going to smell. I smell the... Your smear job's pickley. It smells of an old paperback with pickle juice on it. Yeah, now going to smell. Smell the... Your smear job's pickley.

It smells of an old paperback with pickle juice on it. Yeah, funny how that happens. Smell it again. I don't want to smell your paperbook. Musty sandwich book. Smell the pickle book. Can I get through this? Smell it. This is the important bit. Ciao. The total for this box of bots was £52.96.

Without packages. Without packaging and packaging, yes. And to help give you a start, the first item is £7.99. So there's a starting point here. So we don't have to guess the price of the first. But we don't get any petwings for that? Or do we get automatic two petwings? Let's get two petwings.

Let's start with two petwings. I'm getting my book out. The Righty Downy book. All right, well, hurry up. Because I'm going to do this whole Righty Downy thing. The answers are included in a separate envelope and I have that here. We've got no emblem or mascot to protect the answers out here. No but my book of truth will hold. I can see this, show me the seal on that. There's tape on it. It's very very suspect. It's not there's tape on it. It looks like

Paul, everyone I have to say, it looks like Paul has steamed this open and then he's used a piece of sellotape to re-fasten it. Come on. I don't. We've got a lot to get through. Get your book out and a pen. Do it. Just so everyone knows I object and I observe that.

Good. Okay. Well, then, good. Right, so, bonus petwings. All of these items are official Transformers figures except one for some extra jeopardy. If you can correctly identify which one is the interloper you win a bonus special shiny petwing. All of these items were found for less than recommended retail price but if you guys can

guess which one is closest to its recommended retail price originally then you get another bonus petwing. So if it originally was 50 quid and we think that i so i'm gonna have to put a column here for what we think the rrp was as well only if you want on one item for a bonus between no for each item yeah oh this read that out again all of these items are found for less than rrp but if you guys can guess which one is closest so only one of them is closest to its recommended retail oh which of the ones is closest so there's six okay that's a game we play after we've got all the other ones same for the other between as well okay which one's the thing so they're after the main event also included for eli's rubber shelf the limbs come off and can be swapped for other color combinations oh hashtag modular value it's a little modular toy for me in a little box here everyone oh and she's also put in

a bunch of Tato's for Nom Noms because bags of crisps make great environmentally friendly conscious packaging material thank you very much to see you at DigiLife well we will now be that's amazing these are Transformers erasers oh yeah cool

pretty cool they look like muscle men. Remember the old muscle men toys from the 80s? But made of rubber and you can change their limbs. Pictures on our website. Yes, pleasing things, thank you. Right, let's get on with this. And look at it.

Item one. Bot one. Got to get these all out. Let's get these all out because they're all wrapping. How many bots are there? Six in all. Six, five. 52, 99.

So we could say 53 was the ceiling. Again we have a ceiling this week and not a window right? There's no window. There's no sill. You just have a ceiling. No bottom bit. What is bot one? Item bot one is this. He says wrapping it from its packaging. Well, it's a... Oh! Transformers Bot Rots. Bot Bots. Bot Bots. Yeah, I've got Bot Bots. I've got some of these. Yeah, you've seen...

We've had these before. But you get them in... The ones I got were in, like, mystery, single ones in mystery bag things. Yeah. This is like a pack of several.

So they're little, mini, tiny Transformers. And they come in... I don't know what this green thing is. An egg. An egg. Green egg.

What's the egg for? That's the mystery. There's one mystery one. Oh, there this green thing is. An egg. An egg. Green egg. What's the egg for? That's the mystery. There's one mystery one. Oh, there's a mystery one in the egg. Mystery ball. Oh, it's a... Oh, it looks like a baseball, but it looks like a... But it transforms, obviously, into a robot.

Oh, you have to... So they're micro-transformers. Oh, there you go. Oh, all right. Two little feet come out. They're very cutesy anime kind of... I say anime, but you know what I mean. Oh, look, there's its face, yeah.

Yeah. Very cutesy. It's a nice little thing. It's a nice little thing, but how but how much is it now i don't even know how much these cost originally i imagine that might be about 10 quid so are you going to guess first for the first item paul yeah but i don't know how much this is this is all off ebay and it's magic prices from wacky land what do you think this would go for if we were in a b&m or a shop that had this maybe a fiver and b&m now reduced stock kind of thing. As it stands on eBay, in the condition it's in,

because the box is a bit battered, I would say maybe about eight quid. I would say eight quid for that. Eight quid, but you think that's below its recommended retail price? Yeah, because I recommend the... Right, OK, I'm going to say six quid then. Six quid. See, I'm helping you here, man.

No, because the recommended retail price... You want to stick with eight quid? Yeah, but people on ebay aren't like charity shops are they where they have purposely reduced prices to get people to buy stock fair point fair point people try to get as much as they can for something that probably isn't worth its value well you do know you used to work professionally on ebay no that was 20 years ago well you still you know how the system works yeah know what we're working with yeah you can fucking some extent you've got some experience you get there get your hand I'm saying if that's about a tenner originally greasy knobs shut up if that's about a tenner originally then on eBay six to eight quid maybe I'm gonna stay with six well

you've given me a lot of things to think about before I respond with my first guess for the bottom number one here. There could be so much. Seven bloody minutes. Are you up slow? I'm going to say four pounds for that one. Four pounds, he says, for that one. Remember, the roof is 53, you say. I think I know why it's so high,

because I've seen six in advance. I know where we're going. You know, you've got an advantage there. That has to be the big bite. That's in your wheelhouse. Spoiler alert. Right, here we go. Item two. In your firehouse.

I'll take pictures of these. It's literally in your firehouse, Paul. Oh, it's a little tiny yellow Transformer. Oh, nice one. I think it's a Michael Bay version of Bumblebee, because in the films, Bumblebee was a Dodge Charger or something like that. It does the same colour. Is that Bumblebee?

Well, yeah, because I think in the original cartoon he was a Volkswagen. So you think that's a vintage Bumblebee? No, this is a Michael Bay one. And it hasn't got a lot of great articulation. It kind of springs open to reveal... So if I put Bumblebee... Bumblebee.

But look, it kind of springs apart rather than transforms. Now it's my turn to guess first. See, it kind of springs apart rather than transforms now it's my time to guess first see it kind of springs apart then transforms how why can't i make it do it oh you pull the bumper down ah ah it's got a nice level of detail doesn't it yeah the wheels go around um it's got magnets that's what makes gives it that popping action paul yeah magnet. Do you see those there? Do you see the magnet catches? In the wheels. Clever design. Yeah. It's a lot, I don't know, this must be a lot cheaper. Don't start. It's not your turn to guess. £2.75. £2.75. Pennington's. Are we getting two for twings if we're on the nose? Yeah, one if we were 25p out either way. Or maybe

we should do it, do you reckon we should do it more because there's a bigger margin? 50p? 50p. A quid? No, shut up. There's going to be too many for twings then. You don't know. I don't know the prices. Okay.

A quid? A quid either side. Alright, we're breaking the rules. But we've got a bigger, we've got a bigger valley of error though, haven't we? Yeah, we'll see what that does. Yeah, alright. Good. So that's bumumblebee, number two. Put it over here, I want to keep it all together so I can take pictures later.

Well, you should put these rubbers there as well then. You're going to have to take pictures of those as well, aren't you? Okay, number three. The third Transformers-based price of Shai in the woods. Alfresco price of the Shai, so... The third item... The price of Cybertron. I've got fucking spiky thorns

going into my lower back what's this what is this it's another little plastic transformer it's a purple plastic transformer and it looks like

a kind of lobster lobster beast maybe it's a beast wars generation aren't they in the newest movie they've got the

beast ones I don't know it's called beast of the he's got clippers it's got rise of the beast isn't it I don't know

anyway it's a little purple lobster scorpion. What does he turn from, is he? I think it's like a scorpion into a robot. Oh, look, he's got one of his claws broken off. He's got one of his claws broken off. That's going to affect the value considerably. Well, it's your turn to guess first. Oh, I can see there's other damage here.

One of the hydraulic bits. I'm going to say and fifty pence for that on ebay yeah before postage and packages yes before packaging and packaging hurry up porketing and uh one pound fifty i say please write it down before your feral mind forgets it what are we gonna call it lobster man lob lob on lob on lob on lob off lob off lob on my love and then i go up glob off i got a glob Lob on my lob off. And then I glob, glob off. I go glob off on my lob off in the chod off. I have a chod off fairy and I put the glob off on it.

And when it goes to pick a rary, I go and I oil down the bonnet. Chub, chub. Right, come on. Come on. Chub, chub. Come on. I've got a little powder hat. It goes into my mouth. Woo! And every time I'm thinking. It's a price. It powder hat it goes into my mouth oh and every time i'm thinking price

it goes it goes down south price please i'm gonna say i'm opening the foot two pounds i'm saying for that two pounds he says for that and then went to our fourth item here all right hurry hurry coach what is this number four he's struggling with the packaging here. I just want to make damage happen. Oh, it's another little mini-plazzy transformer. This one looks a bit... Oh, it's a police car. And this one looks like a little tiny...

Oh, OK. I had a sneeze yesterday. It was exactly like the sound of a transformer transforming. In your narrow perception of it. What did he say? Roll out, transformers, roll out. Is that what your sneeze sounded like? No, I'm saying my sneeze sounded like...

Like that. That's because your blood's rushing to your ears. Pay attention to the show. What are you doing? I'm tidying. Show me this crap. It's a little car, man. I don't even like this as much as the last one.

No, I don't. It feels like it should be better. It's been going downhill, this. This is some other fucking transformer. How much do you think? No, it's you first. No, it isn't, remember, because I did the snippy snippy, man. This is item four, so it's your go.

Is this a rare one? I don't know. Is it a rare one? I don't know. Is it a rare one? I know nothing about Transformers other than its basic existence. I'm going to say £1.50 here. He says £1.50, by the way, because he doesn't speak into the microphone, because he's like an old man lost in the supermarket when he's meant to be recording. £1.50 here, Paul.

So number four... What are we calling him? Just put Cop Car, because he might have a name like Jizzle. I'm saying £1.50. Jazzboff. And you say? What are we calling him? Just put Cop, Cop Car. Because he might have a name like Jizzle. I'm saying one and a fifty. Jazzboff. And you say? One.

What did I say now? You haven't said nothing. I'm going to say a quid. Hurry up, come on. We haven't got all day. One pound. We haven't got all day, okay? So what's your price?

One pound. Item five. Oh, how many are there? We've got... Remember, you've got two betwixt already. Oh, it's another cop car, but this one's black, which means he's a baddie, he's a Decepticon. Oh, that looks nicer. You can tell.

That looks better already. He's... He's a... Transformer. Let me transform him. Right, you transform him. Okay, take that. I'll put that back together.

Yeah. Brum, brum. I know nothing about Transformers at all. Cybertron. I had the one that turned into a tape. Yeah, I wanted him. Shockwave or Soundwave. He was great. But it was only a little one. It was a little one.

Oh, not the big metal one. No. The die-cast one. No, just this little one. It was really dinky. I always wanted the metal one, the proper one. You know, you could put little cassettes in

that transformed into a bird or a panther. I think that's all they were prepared. This is quite a good one, this one. Seems a little bit more ornate. Yeah, look.

Oh yeah, he's a bit more gangly. He's a bit more show-gunny, isn't he? Look. Yeah. There we go, got the legs there.

Nice. These go up. Do these go up? Doesn't matter. Head come out. I mean, it's got to be another, I'll say 150. What's this one called? Cop 2? Just call him Bad Cop.

Bad Cop. Bad Cop 2, because he's Decepticon, isn't he? How? Because you can tell from the symbol. Yeah. The Decepticon symbol. That is. Does the head flip? Yeah, it is, isn't it? I mean, he looks a bad one, doesn't he? Oh, hang on. Yeah at that, that's good. His head sticks up through the hood. It just pops out of the car.

That's much nicer and more elegant. He looks more mean doesn't he with that. I like the way he has his chest plate. That's crap. The bad guy cop's more interesting. He's a better model, a better toy. Isn't that true for all the Decepticons? They were better designed and a bit more interesting.

Just a bit more... Like, Starscream was a jet fighter or something, wasn't he? And Megatron was a gun, and then he was a tank. The bad guys always get the cool gear, don't they? Yeah, they do. Right, how much did you say for that? I said, what did I say? You haven't said shit. It's your go-to guess first. 150.

Again, 150. We're nowhere near. Yeah, but I know why, because we're heading towards the finale, which I think is the most costly one. I'm going to say £3.25 for that one. So how much have we got so far, if you add them all up? What was your...? Did you not write down my one for number two, Bumblebee?

Well, you can just tell me it again. I can't fucking remember now. All right, 350. I'm going to be pissed off if I listen to this back while editing Well, you can just tell me it again. I can't fucking remember now. All right, 3.50. I'm going to be pissed off if I listen to this back while editing and realise that the answer I did give five minutes ago was correct and that one's now wrong. Well, if you made the game more fun for me to be a part of. Well, maybe if you went fucking wandering around

looking for your fucking medicine like old Grandpa at night time. Staggering around. Where's me pills? I can't sleep tonight without me pills. Look, you're just rooting for your bag. Walkers in about pickle juice on your fucking book. I am quite concerned about that. Well, maybe you should pack your bag better.

Is there one last item? This is it. Tell me how much we've got so far. Okay, you've got 9.50, 10, 11, 12, 13, 50. 13.50? 13.50, all right. And I've got about 50p more or so. I'm very similar. Because the

big boy, item number 6. I get to guess first for this don't I? You do. Big boy in the middle of the write down. Big boy. And this is a... Le Garcon Grande. The piece de resistance. And it tickles all of Ganon's little soft areas. Tickle, tickly bits. All his little tickly warm bits. This is a Transformer figure, an official one, but it is Ecto-1 from Ghostbusters, transformed into a robot called Ectotron.

Ah! Well done. From what? From Ecto-1. Yeah, but did it appear in any cartoons? Well, no. It was a crossover event. It was just a toy event then? See, look, yeah, toy event. Ghostbusters meets-1. Yeah, but did it appear in any cartoons? Well, no. It was a crossover event. It was just a toy event then? See, look.

Yeah, a toy event. Ghostbusters meets Transformers. Oh, in 2021. Okay, so this is recent. Oh, look at that. It's lovely. So Ghostbusters turned 30 or something. I don't know.

Either way, you get a little comic with it as well. Transformers and Ghostbusters crossover comic. And you get two ghosts, Slimer and what looks like Muncher, funnily enough, from Afterlife. It is, yeah. And a little proton pack down there that it wears when you put it all together. What are you saying?er, funnily enough, from Afterlife. It is, yeah. And then a little proton pack down there that it wears when you put it all together. What are you saying? Why, funnily enough? Didn't this come out after Afterlife? Oh, I don't know. Maybe it did.

It must have. It must be an Afterlife. Well, to be fair, Afterlife was delayed for about a year and a half because of COVID. So they probably knew. So it might have been, yeah. And maybe it already leaked out the artwork by then. But either way, this is bloody lovely. It's one of those things I've always wanted to get, but it's expensive.

And so this is probably what makes up the chunk of the rest of this score. So this is the most expensive thing we've ever been given, I think, on... That's not true. £27.50, I'm saying. Someone sent me a few board games, which I can't...

Oh, you know, I feel bad. Really? Someone sent me a board game based on Universal Monsters, and it's fucking excellent. I can never remember if I said thank you, and I feel bad. If you're listening, thank you. It's amazing. I have played it. It's really hard. Thanks, B, for this stuff.

So, B, this is amazing. This is going right on my shelf with my Firehouse, my Proton Packs, my other Ecto-1s, but the Lego ones. He's going to join the Ecto-1 family on my shelf. But, Eli, you have to take the guess. I'm saying £27.50. I am saying £35 on the nose. Oh, you're going to get it, aren't you?

All right. Now, can we just take a quick break? Yeah. And then we'll come back for the prices of those shices. Al Freschi getting pesky. With Joe Pesky. Oh, yeah, it was bad real bad I have to

stop it now oh I found it again he's found his joint well fucking done and all of a sudden all is right with the world come closer Come closer.

Come closer, boy. Time for the prices of scheisses and scissors. The answers al fresco for the prices of scheisses. Now, do you want crisp beforehand or afterhand? Afterhand. Afterhand. Gives everyone something to look forward to. We have Tato's spring onion.

Ooh. Tato's onion rings. Tato have gone mad with their variations. Big value pack, one pound. Curry chips. Sorry, everyone. That sets him off. Sorry, curry chips always is our allergic reaction.

It's your sneeze word. Yeah. So, CC. Then they look a bit like chip sticks, don't they? They're baked, not fried, so they're going for the health market there. Nice. And then we've also got Transformer. Oh! We've tasted those on the show before, surely.

Mate, two things. Okay. Quick, for the prices. We didn't say which one was fake and which one was closest to its recommended retail price. I'm going to say the one closest to it. Come on.

No, but we... The recommended retail price, we have to see what their actual price is. It smells like curry. I've opened the crisps, I don't care. Oh, don't.

I bet they're disappointing. They are. Because they're baked. The smell's there. It's got that chip shop curry smell. But? There's no flavour.

No flavour. And they're in date, right? Really under-seasoned. Oh, they're terrible. Nothing is going on. The flavour is nothing like the smell. The texture's really poor as well. Is it in date?

It should be, right? It's 30th of September, 23, so yeah. I've never tasted such a poor product from the Tato brand in my life. Let me go round to the very bottom. Maybe it's a powder problem. He's gone for... A little bit, a little bit better. I don't even want to go back there.

All right, shall we get some Petrines on the board? No, let's find out which... I think the one closest to its recommended retail price... No! Don't you understand? What? You don't know which one until you see what their actual prices are. No, we have to guess before that, don't we?

Because the prices might give it away in the sleeve. It might tell you what the recommended retail price is. So we can't see it beforehand. In the... Yes. So I'm going to say the one closest to its recommended retail price is the BotBots.

So am I. And the one I think is fake is the Cop Car, the original blue Cop Car one. So am I. Right. I'm not going to lose betwings, potential betwings. I want to get these onion rings out of the way now. Are they baked, not fried? Similar situation, give it a snuff.

Oh, they don't smell good. They smell like a swimming pool. Farty. Oh, they've got a real chlorine. Yeah. Those aren't... They aren't boding well, smell-wise. Better flavour texture, definitely.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's got that Tato onion tang immediately. It's an aromatic onion. Oh, much better. Isn't it? Oh, we're on Shura footing now.

Mmm. Mmm. Nice. Well saved, T Oh, we're on Shura footing now. Nice. Well saved, Tato. Those are good. You're on dangerous ground there. Those are good, aren't they? Those are nice. They've got sort of almost a musty onion.

Mmm. A real sort of deep savoury onion flavour. Like almost burnt or caramelised. That's right, yeah. Right, now it's time for the prices of the shises. Very good. Oh, it's all printed out in a very nice letter. This is all very, very professionally put together.

Thank you, B, for this. Sorry we weren't infused about Transformers. We're just not. I was infused about one, and I like the concept behind them. I like that one that was a tape. Right, here we go. You ready for it? I'm ready.

Item one, BotBot's Multipack. Bonus per twing, £7.99, closest to the original recommended retail price. We get a between for that right straight away. We both get between. So we've got three betweens because they gave us those two betweens. Oh, yeah, because it was £7.99.

So I'm putting three betweens on the board for both of us. We're taking three, B. Fucking hell, we're going to get fucking so many betweens here. We're taking three here, B. Right, so that's good. Oh, yeah, of course. So why did we guess when we knew it was £7.99? What was? Well, we took a guess at that first price, but it was told we were £7. Right, so that's good. Oh, yeah, of course. So why did we guess when we knew it was £7.99? What was? Well, we took a guess at that first

price, but it was told we were £7.99, so we didn't need to guess it. We did anyway. We didn't need to guess that one? No, but we did anyway. Oh, that was the free one? Yeah. Oh. We both would have got shit for that. No, I would have. No, we wouldn't have. But I was closer.

Abortive. The rules don't work. Abandoned. We're still taking the three. No, we wouldn't have. But I was closer. But I was closer-ish. Abortive. The rules don't work. Abandon. We're still taking the three. We're taking those three points. Next. Now, this is the actual number one, then. Yeah.

Bumblebee. Yeah. Okay, little Bumblebee one. Quite liked it. Quite a nice little build on that, don't you think? Bumblebee. Nice little build on that one. 2012.

Bumblebee. September 2012. Nice little... Do you want to just hear the answers? Do you want to just fucking talk shit? I like talking shit. Yeah, but... I do like talking shit. Do you want to have any tater? Do you want to just fucking talk shit? I like talking shit. Yeah, but... I do, I like talking shit.

Do you want to have any tater rings? Well, onion rings, because they're too far away. Don't try and withhold things from me. Come on, I'm ready for the scores. How much did we say? For Bumblebee, you said £3.50, and I said, Paul, £2.75 for the Bumblebee. Then you get a between, I guess, because the price is £1.99.

Ooh. I'm within a quid. Yeah. So, 2012, this is Botshot's toy. That was like rock, because the price is £1.99. Ooh. And within a quid? Yeah. So 2012, this is Bot Shot's toy. That was like rock, paper, scissors sort of thing where you crash them into each other. They pop up and the little picture on their chest represents stats. Oh, is that what the bumblebee is?

I guess it was, yeah. That's why it sprang apart when you touched the bumper. The pop thing, yes, with the magnetic device, yes. I just saw a mozzie on my arm. We're getting eaten alive here for this art. Right, item three was what? Gob on, lob on, blob off. What was that now?

It's a lobster one. Oh, yeah, the lobster one. Which you found out the head actually came out. Twisted round. Right, well, first of all, we're losing a bonus per twing. That was the not transformer. I won. Yeah, well, first of all, we're losing a bonus per twing. That was the Not Transformer. I won. Yeah, and you copied me, so you can't say,

oh, I knew that, because it wasn't. That was a fake one. I did know that, though, Paul. Well, it doesn't matter. I did know that, everyone. You don't get the point. I thought, deep in my heart, I thought that was the answer. So how much did you say it was?

I said two quid for the Goblin, Goblin, Lobster Goblin. Yeah. The fake Lobster Goblin. And you said it won a pound and a fifth, didn't you? Well, it was a 399 toy. Bandai, Tonka in the UK. A GoBot, not a Transformer. This guy was released by Bandai in their GoBot series,

which coincided with the actual toy line before Hasbro Transformers series around the 90s. Hasbro acquired the brand and used the term GoBot to a variety of Transformers. Yeah, so GoBots and Transformers series around the 90s Hasbro acquired the brand and used the term GoBots and a variety of Transformers yeah so GoBots and Transformers

were separate and at some point Bandai went we'll have them as well and then they brought them into the Transformers line and rebadged them

and renamed them and stuff how funny how funny indeed but they were original they came out officially before Transformers did

well there were Shogun toys that predated Transformers in Japan as well, weren't there? Yeah. Yeah. Right, so... Number four, the Cop Car.

2001, robot in disguise. This is the one we didn't like. It was very clunky and inelegantly built. And you thought this might be the fake. Yeah. You said a quid. How much did you say? £1.50.

It was a fiver. It's called Prowl 2. These guys were designed to compete with Hot Wheels and Matchboxes, pocket money toys. And you can tell by the three rolling wheels. Yeah, that makes sense. They are the same scale as a Matchbox. Basically, yeah. Right, next.

Barricade. So that was the other cop car one that was black. So we both didn't get any betweenings there? No. That was a fiver. Barricade. So that was the other cop car one, but it was black. So we both didn't get any betweens there? No. That was a fiver. Barricade, Michael Bay movie tie-in, classic figure, pocket money toy line, same as before, just based on the movie. How much did you say? Much better car, that. I said £3.25.

Yeah, and I said... £1.50. You didn't rate it. It was £1. Sorry, I'll be correct. It's 99p. Wow. So that's a betwing for me. Well done, you do. You catch up'll be correct. It's 99p. Wow. So that's a between for me. Well done, you do. You catch up one between.

Neck and neck. No, neck and neck. Right. Which leaves Ectotron. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to Eli for how much time Gannon is now probably going to spend verbally spaffing over this item. Well, it wasn't too bad.

I kept my cool. I just kind of zoned out. The box is cracked at the front and the figure has been opened, but it's fully completed in excellent condition. Yes, it did look very good. He's going to take it out, I think, of the box, everyone. It's going to get used, you know? It's going to get loved.

It's going to have some engagement. It's not going to be behind the mint on cardboard there, musty, unobserved. Unplayed, unloved. Unplayed, untickled. unengaged, unfondled, unrubbed linseed oil. Before he goes off, let's just get the price. How much did you say and how much did I say? What were we talking about?

Ectotron. The big boy. The big boy. Big boy. I said £27.50. Yeah. And you said £35. Ah, £33.

Oh, in between our scores there. In between. But the overall tally is what, Eli? We were on four each. And three of those were given to us non-gratis. Yes, we didn't do very well. Sorry, but at least we're on the board, both of us. There's no tiebreaker.

No. That's it, it was a draw. Well done. Well done, you. Right, Transformers snack. Oh, the Transformers film, Rise of the Beast, is now tied in with Transformer snack. OK. Saucy ribs, baked, not fried.

Here we go. We've had these before. Yeah. Give them a nuff-nuff. I bet they're quite nice. Can't really smell anything. No nuff-nies? This one smells a bit like it. Ain't there no nuff-nies on the nose?

Not too much. Oh, get your fucking snout into the saddle. But look, you put the little rings on and you can transform it into a car or a robot. It's a barbecue chuffney. Oh, I don't like those. No. Oh, they're all right.

Quite sweet, aren't they? Very sweet. Oh, they're all right. Better than the curry chips. Yeah, they're dirty good, actually, these. Oh, golden wonder. I wonder if I'm going to be golden all over my belly. Oh.

Tato spring onion crisps. I know, those are dirty good, man. The Transformer snack ribs, boom. Mate, do you want to go on a journey? I'm going to take you on a crisp journey. Right. You're on to the Tato spring onion now. Can I have that?

What I want you to do is this. No, wait. What I want you to do is this. I want to taste the Tato spring onion now. Can I have that? What I want you to do is this. No, wait. What I want you to do is this. I want to taste the Tato. Wait, wait, wait. I want you to have an onion ring, then go straight to the Tato, then go straight to this juicy rib.

Why? One, two, three, and then get it all together like a cocktail. Can I taste the onion ring by itself first? Okay, that's fair. I need to judge that. That's fair. I'm very interested in these onion rings. They're very nice. Not onion rings, spring onion flavour T potato. We're not enjoying the curry chips

so they're getting out of this competition. Spring onion are good you think? Yeah. Again, not on the nose. There's not really much going on. A stale potato. And yet that was good on the nose and tasted like arse. Yeah. Very similar to their cheese and onion isn't it? Yeah. Very rich and almost cheddar-y. Yeah. But it's no cheese. Stop it. You're now going to go on a journey. Now I'm going on a crisp. It's literally crisp in.

As soon as that crisps in, your hand's going into the next bag. As soon as that crisps in, you're going into the final bag. All right. So you get the whole mulch together, right? And you'll watch your thesis about where the journey will take you. I think it's a flavour journey. And I think it'll be quite overpowering and amusing. So I start with the ring. Here we go.

The spring onion and then the rib. be quite overpowering and amusing. So I start with the ring, the spring onion and then the rib. Ring, spring, ribs. Ring. Spring. Keep going. Rib. In.

Keep going. Get it going. Go in. You see what I'm saying? There's like a wave of like umami. Waves of umami. Yeah, it's good.

I'm going to do it now but I'm going to do it all together. All one. Make a sandwich. I'm going to make a sandwich and the buns are going be onion rings yeah oh what's in the what's the lettuce the lettuce will be this tato spring onion yeah look it looks like a burger and then um for relish oh it's just another ring so that's it that's like a slice of tomato the um the ribbons

slice of tomato, the rib and... Well this is a lot of fun. In it goes. Mmm. I think I like the onion rings the best though. Yeah. Best of the bunch. I think those spring onion are a bit past their best before. Thank you Bee. That was a lovely, lovely package with lots of lovely wonderful things that we've enjoyed investigating considerably. Thank you. And I hope you've enjoyed listening to us enjoying you, your box, your items.

Your transformer snacks. Your box. That just got real dirty all of a sudden. I'm just going to dive into the rings instead. Right, see you in a bit. Bye-bye. You're getting bitten. Ow!

Prick. Sorry. Ow! He was landing. I saw him. He's about to put the proboscis in you. Fair enough. We've got to get out of here. Ow! Prick. Sorry. Ow! He was landing. I saw him. He's about to put the proboscis in you. Fair enough. We've got to get out of here.

Yeah, we do. We're getting eaten alive. We're getting eaten alive. Right, well, we've found the swing. Finally found the swing. Hello there, Paul. This is not just your dangling rope from a tree. This is a proper little swing.

On a seat swing. He's going back and forth. Watch out, I'm going to thwack you. Shall I push you a little bit? No. Yeah, I'll push you. No. I'm going to...

Higher, darling. Higher. Get up. Here we go. Whoa! Here we go. He's getting higher. Push it again.

Look at that. Don't do that. push it again look at that yeah go on then try it oh my god oh he's swinging at me he's gone off course how about that how's it feel it's good in it good action well this is the, this is the finale. This is the finale, Eli. You want to swing? Push me off the swing, you can. I'm not touching nothing, am I?

All right, slow it down. All right, I'll slow it down with a little bit of a tug. I'll grab that little tug wire underneath. Don't! There's a little tug wire underneath. I can slow it down. No, there isn't. Yeah, see?

All right, all right. Are you going to have a go? Yeah, I'm going to have a go? Yeah I'm going to have a go. I want you to tug me off. Okay. Alright come on you can use your feet now. Right let me just put anything that might fall out of my pockets on the floor.

Really well constructed. Nicely made. Yeah. Made with care and love. Looks very strong. Yeah nice thick cord rope. Are you going to keep the bike? Attached professionally with all hooks and shit. Yeah, I'm getting...

Mate, this is happening on... People want to be in the hot... Don't fall off. My thumb's trapped. Ow. Don't fall off the swing. And the camera's on as well. I'm not going to go too high from recording, am I?

Oh, hello. Oh, shit. Oi. Yeah, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la. I'm swinging. I'm swinging. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Hey, yeah. La, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la. I'm swinging. I'm swinging. Oh, shit.

Oh, a little bit of pee came out there. Are you going to do your legs at all? Pump it with your legs, twat. I'm pumping it. Here you go. Oh, fuck. Hang on. No, I've gone.

It's twisting, you prick. Stop it. Careful, careful. Mate, it's twisting. you're going to choke me. Careful. Mate, don't fucking, don't fucking try and kill me. Fucking just spin me around like a prick. I thought you were going to get caught.

I was nearly going to get choked. I saw the wire twisting towards my neck. Oh look, that could come. Oh, look at that. That doesn't look good at all that's got time on the clock that's really I mean it might not be too bad

because look it's not going to loosen this but it might mean that as soon as that goes that will pop out that's not our problem right we've had a go right well there was us on the camera look yeah just tip it that way

tip it that way well there we go a big finale on the swings. Be careful, anyone. Just be careful if you come to this neck of the woods. That will go, won't it? In time. Because basically it's soaring away at it, isn't it?

Yeah, that's what I mean. And then it won't be... Oh, dear. It will be broken, essentially, won't it? Yeah, oh, dear. Nothing you can do about that, though, is there? Right, well, what should we do now? Is that it?

I don't know, that was a good swing. Well done for finding it. 5.30. Pretty much done here, aren't we? We've been for a walk. We've been for a walk. We've had some crisps. We played Price of Shite.

We had some other snacks, didn't we? Packed quite a lot in, yeah. Yeah. Laid in the shade. Again, I thought one sort of bottle of water 500 milliliter bottle of water and a lucas aid yeah would be enough it wasn't we've got to take a lot of water out here a lot of water on a hot day like this boys and girls ladies and gentlemen so i think we'll do one little wrap up as we get towards the exit where stanmore station

is we'll say goodbye there but other than that i think i think we're good the most beautiful parks i've seen in london paul i have to say really it's amazing it's the oaks the oaks give it a magic these oak these ancient we buy one here this is another one of these ancient oh i'll show you the devil's dyke thing yeah that's it that's what we're gonna do let's go there and say and say goodbye yeah let's say goodbye at the devil's dyke oh what a lot of fun even though one of us might have died just then what is your treat there's a caterpillar on my bag i'll just move it then look at him he moves like that caterpillar from sesame street who owned that caterpillar in sesame street don't do that how am i going to get him off you just tip it off like that and you go you go exactly what i was going to know but you're doing it you're flicking it yeah but there we go flick the caterpillar oh it's glued it's glued on glued on it's gone get

it off the floor it is a area of natural wildlife up here oh there's bugs and spiders bugs and spiders aren't there look at this little green fella what's that another like oh green spider oh green torso spider this is getting creepy boy, we're getting out of here now. Let's go to the dyke. Get away from the bugs, at least. Does the dyke have bugs? I don't think so. Let's find out.

Right, we're going to go up this way and then round to the little path. Oh, yeah, fucking camera. See you in a bit. Right, so, final push now, Eli. We're nearly there. Final sight to see, and then we can go home. This is a little rock that I stumbled upon upon accident when I was walking along this very path we're on right now. Which is a kind of, I think it's for cars to get to that private space behind us that we came from with the fence.

Little gravel road, a little gravel road, pebble road. Oh this rock, I can see it here here we go and it uh it says oh grimm's dyke all right not devil's dyke grimm's dyke harrow heritage trust so not devil's dyke no but not devil's dyke then but it's a grim dyke it's not devil's dyke though is it paul not devil's dyke grimm. Not Devil's Dyke, then. But it's a Grimm dyke. It's not Devil's Dyke, though, is it, Paul? Not Devil's Dyke. Grimm's Dyke. I'm sorry, I don't remember. It's just a rock, is it?

I thought it was a dyke. Let me read it. Part of a linear earthwork, once stretching from Pinner to Stanmore, probably built in the early 1st century as a boundary, or for defence. Grimm is a Saxon word for the devil. Ah.

Devil's Dyke. So? So it's part of an old defence. Grim is a Saxon word for the devil. Ah. Devil's dyke. So. So it's part of an old defence, this is good. So. Devil's. It was devil's dyke. Devil's dyke. I was right and I was wrong.

Look at the heritage, Harrow Heritage Trust symbol. Looks like a castle on a cloud, like a heavenly castle. It's that church on the hill, Harrow on the Hill church. Yeah, but do you know the way it's on this sort of cloud? I think it's meant to be a tree, isn't it? Outline, it makes it look like it's that church on the hill Harrow on the Hill church thing yeah but do you know the way it's on this sort of cloud I think it's meant to be a tree isn't it outline it makes it look like

it's like like it's popping out of a tree like no like it looks like it's popping out of a cloud like it's in heaven popping out of a tree like it's

popping out of a cloud like a tree like it's above the tree line I know that's what it's meant to represent but for me it's saying cloud quite quite heavily

popping around the tree isn't it on the tree line pop a popple aww so is this rock this rock is actually part of it this must have been part of that defense an old man so from here to pinner quite far by the way it's like a battleground yeah yeah

a good four or five miles we think something like that yeah a linear earthwork so like a defense yeah but it's like hadrian's wall i would have imagined right where it's like just some kind of boundary was needed to at least be slightly inconvenienced to the evading army or whatever. Do they mean this bit in front of us? I don't know.

I don't know which one. I mean, Pinner, I think. Or do they mean the rock is actually part of it? The rock is the existing part of that defence. So there might have been a whole row

going from here to Pinner to wherever. So this is it. This is kind of the last thing I wanted to show, really. If you follow the road round here,

all it goes to is a fence to the main road you can't get out of. And our plan is to retrace our steps to the summit and then exit... Straight down the pipe, yeah. Exit with the closest exit to Stanmore. Yeah. And go home. Go home.

We've had a lovely day. Do we have a cheap show next week? Of course we will. We always do. What else have we got to live for? No, don't say that. I've had a lovely day. Do we have a cheap show next week? Of course we will. We always do. What else have we got to live for? No, don't say that. God. I've got nothing.

You do. I've got nothing. Have you got any admin to do? We could put it in now. Let's do it a bit later. I don't like leaving admin. Well, it's been... I'll tell you what we should do.

What? End this episode with that song that Noiseland did. Noiseland who entered your Envision with the ballad of Captain Boo Balls. Joint second. For our eighth birthday, because yes, Cheap Show is now eight years old. He mixed together from our previous walk,

A Ball of Chalk 2, The Walkmen, a little song called, what was it called? Good Boy. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to end this week's episode with that, unless he tells me I can't, in which case this this episode fades out but hopefully with a little bit of luck we're ending with that track today because i think it's lovely thanks for joining us everyone yeah good

lovely walk i really can't communicate how lovely this uh park is paul and uh so empty yeah and sometimes i think i let a plot or a gimmick get in the way of just a nice ramble. And I think we've had a lovely ramble up and down, in and out. We did quite a specific price of shite there, didn't we? Yeah, we did. It's a robot-themed... Potatoes. I don't know, potatoes are spreading themselves thin, too thin, with those baked curry things. The baked curry.

That was the biggest letdown, in many respects, because you thought that would have been where they would excel. I have to say, I didn't care for the uh Leon Korean mayo either. It's very watery and not much of a flavour beyond the sort of garlicky sweetness. God there are loads of ants here you're right. I told you that's the ant bit. Yeah. The ants are going. Are we going back to where we came? We keep doing this. We're going yeah not that way but just around the corner is a a little path where we can go and we go back up to the summit that's going to take it out of us no it's not because we're quite high up right now it doesn't look like it but we've gone on quite quite the uh incline incline yeah incline we're going downhill now i mean yeah Right, and that's the French offended. Right, we'll see you a little bit later to wrap this baby up.

And that's enough. No, it's not. Eli, that is very much enough of that. It's's enough. No, it's not. Eli, that is very much enough of that. It's never enough. However much I fall in love. Never too much, never too much. No. Okay, that's enough now.

I would very much like you to stop being Eli Silverman for a bit. Okay. Who shall I be? Well, ain't that the question on the hot lips? On the hot lips. Whose hot lips? Your mother's? Kenny G's hot lips.

Your mother's... Oh, Eli joins the party late with a little bummy tumbler. Bummy tumbler. Well, there we go. Now that is the ending of the episode, kind of. We'll see you in a bit when we find out a proper end point. I think we're going to turn right here. Right, and that's it.

We've just sat down on the bench. We enjoyed a cigarette and listened to some lovely... Is it Moog? Would it be called a Moog? I don't think it was a Moog, no. Like an Electronica or something. Electronica. Yeah, 70s minimalist Electronica.

Forget the guy's name, but it's a piece called A Rainbow in Curved Air. Nice. Very evocative of her. Oh, nettles. It's nettles all the way. So this is our last segment. We're saying goodbye now because we've done everything we basically achieved,

we wanted to achieve, apart from making that Patreon video we should have done. But we'll do that next week. But it's very hard. I think we've done well. It's all getting a bit itchy and scratchy. Itchy and scratchy show. They fight and fight. And I hurt my arms on the swing because I was swinging on it too hard and it caught my arms and it burnt it.

So I'm sore now, my legs are sore. There's an explanation why they're cutting some trees down, nice to know. We are felling a small number of trees to create glades within the secondary woodland which will be planted with saplings of beech, crabapple, birch, field maple, gean, goat willow, hazel, hornbeam. Gean. Your hornbeam. Oh, I spewed gean all over.

Out of my hornbeam. Hello, darling, would you like to have some of my hornbeam in your eyes? Hey, spew, spew, spewy poker. Yes, this is me, spew poker. I don't know if you're in the news story game anymore. You're in the news story game? I've moved over to News WKID. I've got this.

It's hot. This is so hot. I've got to let go of it. It's burning me, you know? Okay, tell me the news story, please. You ready? You ready for this? You've got the pencil?

I'm ready for it. It's your mama. Your mama's... She's spewing ghee now. Her gash. Ghee juice, they're calling it. It's flooding all of downtown. No, you know what?

No. No. Don't make me walk into... Stop make me walk into the nettles. John Nettles. Hey, hey. Are you going to buy the story? Unfortunately, WKID News does not find any source of interest in my mother's vagina. However, if you've got any news about my daddy's horn.

Oh, yeah, he's been on the hornbeam, your big daddy. However, if you've got any news about my daddy's horn... Oh yeah, he's been on the hornbeam, your big daddy. They call him Hornbeam John, your dad, your old man. He keeps spunking out gean. Can I just shut up shouting in the woods? Spunking out gean. I'm trying to just... I don't know which way we go. He keeps spunking out gean.

I don't know which way we go, if it's that or that. Oh, now we're lost. I think it's this way. I think it's this way. I remember the Bluebells. Follow the Bluebells. And their single, Young at Heart. Was it?

Was that the Bluebells? Oh, no, maybe. Was it? Young at Heart. Or was the Bluebells that 90s Brit rock band? Who did Marblehead Johnson? What's the point of talking about it if we won't? It's one of those things you embarrass me and listen back to when you edit and go,

no, the Bluebells were not that. There's probably not even a band called Bluebells. There wasn't. No, there definitely is. Right. OK, Google, what was the band the Bluebells known for? They're called the Wild Hearts, younger. Indie new wave band.

They were first active between 1981 and 1986 and have since reformed. They had three hit singles in the UK, all written by guitarist and founder member Bobby Bluebell. I'm falling with Ken McCluskey, Kath, and their biggest success, Young at Heart. Hey! 100% correct there. Thank you very much.

I can at least sleep well. It was a really annoying song. Young at Heart. Will always be. I can at least sleep well. It was a really annoying song. Young at heart. Dancing out. Will always be. You're so young at heart. With the violin. Wet fripperies that I can do that with.

Oh, it's a fine song. It's not. Stop being Bertie Miserable from the land of gloomy wood. Bertram Miserable in the land of gloomy wood. Spewy. No, I'm not doing spewy no more you completely just

it was funny the first time yeah really good really good stuff definitely diminishing returns on the rest of it we need to drop it

spewy a man's gotta eat you know a man's gotta eat and the only way I make money is by giving you titbits

and I got a hot one I know it can't be about my mother or my father anymore it's gain based and the only way I make money is by giving you titbits and I've got a hot one. It can't be about my mother or my father anymore. It's Gein based. It's Gein. I'm not keen for Gein. Ed Gein. Is it Ed Gein? Yeah, yeah.

Ed Gein's put up shop in your mum's hole. I don't know how to break it to you. Well, that opens up a whole other level of disgusting things knowing what Ed Gein got up to with his own mother. So we're moving swiftly on, and I guess we could end on this point, but I don't want to. We're literally just walking now down towards the entrance, the main gate that leads us to basically Stanmore Station. The end of the line on the Jubilee.

Not that far. Literally, it's just down the... No, from the gate, from the exit. Oh, like another three, four minutes tops. It's just a little residential street you've got to walk down, and that's it. I can do the wee-wee before we exit. Well, you've got plenty of time, mate. Look, there's loads of woods to go pick a tickle.

Do you need to hold these two empty bottles? Well, all right. Or else I'll be into them. Why, do you have a split spray? I've got what they call the devil spray. I spit like a serpent out my wee-wees. We're very tired,

as you may have gathered. One in each lady's eye. One in each glade's eye. Ladies, glades. Oh, well, that's just better. See, that's number blue 17, so it all loops. That's green. It's grey. It's blue. It's blue and it's faded. It's all the. See, that's number blue 17. So it all loops. It's grey. That's green. It's grey. It's blue.

They're all the same colour. It's blue and it's faded. It's all the same colour, mate. It's not. There's a red path and a green path. Right. And that's the blue. The blue's a slightly more...

The green path and the green path, but that's a blue. Do you know how stupid you sound right now? I told you there were three paths. Okay. The red one, the green one... And a blue one. And a blue one, and that's the blue. Either way, shut up now. Oh now i'm really tired now yeah i'm tired i need a wee wee hole you need to go wee wee look there's

plenty of places mate really if you want to take a look recording it feels all right well look this let me just get to the gate and then you can run off and do so let's end this and then you can go pee okay nothing hanging over you can you hold it in another minute or so i'll do some admin while we walk to the gate. Let's do some admin. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening to Cheap Show. Everything you need to know about us can be found on our website, thecheapshow.co.uk.

That's episode guides, videos, social media links, all sorts. It's all there. Also, I'll link to our Patreons there. But if you want to just skip the queue and go straight there, it's patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Give what you can but please only if you can um obviously i've been in a dog's mouth that um so thank you if you support us uh and if the ideas interest you you will get access to magazines extra podcasts videos behind the scenes

stuff yeah we filmed a bit of today as well so that'll go to our patrons there's a little secret house over there look you maybe pee near there that's good electricity yeah go pee right on it okay there is electricity i'm not peeing fizz bang eli that would amuse you have you heard the ghost of fizz bang eli he was a dirty man who used to hide in the woods in stanmore county. And one day he peed on the wrong rail. Spewy, are you doing the supernatural stuff? You working that? No, I'm not. I've got stuff for you on there. No, I'm not doing that at all. Right.

See, there's the gate. That's where we are. But this is the gate we can end now. You can go pee around the back of that house when we're done. Alright? Sweet. Okay, cool. There's a bin there. There's a bin there. There's a bin. See? All things can be solved at the gate this is the gateway the exit exit there's an exit sorry this is exit e it says that's good we're at the end this is it and see there's the road down there with the station

and here we are stanmore county park nature trails end this is where we started eli we started here i think at one think I think we went kind of round there well that was actually the main thing this blue and red oh there's no green I take it back there's a two pass green green in the blue the boy there was blue I want you to say it was a blue okay fine but yeah thank you I was right that you're getting confused yeah yeah and then two parts of red in the blue that's the peak where we sat. The eastern loop and the northern loop.

Yeah. There's no western loop. No. But there we went. We went a path... I think we did a bit of all the loops, basically, didn't we? So there we go. Well, that's it.

We're at the end. Well done. What a lovely day out. Harrow Nature Conservation Forum. It does well for that type of stuff, doesn't it? Because Selendine's in Harrow a lot. Gorse, the acid green land of Blue Pondfield and John Hallsfield support a very different community of plants and animals

of the lush grass in the spring meadows in the 40-acre field. And here we are. We're saying goodbye. Eli needs to pee, so I'm going to let him do that now. Eli, do you want to say anything before you go? No. He's going to do it right now. OK, so he's doing that. So I'll say goodbye then. I'm going to sneak up on you. Do my Twitter handle do it right now. Okay, so he's doing that. So I'll say goodbye then.

I'm going to sneak up on you. Do my Twitter handle. Do it now. Oh, come close. Do it now. Why are you such a dirty predator? Why have you decided to do your Twitter handle when you're having a pee? Eli Snowy.

E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. I'm at Paul Gannon's show. And Cheap Show's Twitter account is at the Cheap Show pod we're all quite chatty on there we're going to head

our way down to the train station we've had a lovely day out today I hope you've enjoyed listening along with us too let's get out of here before Eli the Dirty P

Predator is caught red handed once again oh there's a nice little gate lift your bag over no i think it's just your rotund i seem to have done that fine i have a wider bag than you no you don't i've got a wider body i've

got transformers in my bag i've got all the transformers thank you i've got the big one the best one ectotron hello my name is Spew Porkster Ectotron Spew Porkster you Spew Porkster I was changing there's a magpie one for bad luck

two for joy is it one for bad luck I don't know don't care how are we ending this that's it bye everyone thanks very much

yeah bye everyone thanks very much that was a very good park I recommend that park yeah if you're ever at the end of the line on the Jubilee and you want to go rambling

in terms of like I say in terms of view and sort of It was a very good park. I'd recommend that park. Yeah, if you're ever at the end of the line on the Jubilee and you want to go rambling. In terms of, like I say, in terms of view and sort of natural beauty, definitely rivals places like the Heath. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Selendine. Yeah. Well, the Selendine's more of a ramble through all kinds of London, isn't it? So, that's it.

We've got no more else to say. This is a nice deco house here. Yeah. I'll leave Eli to get wrapped up in that. right all good mate I'll let you have a bit of fun with that oh I know how to end it ladies and gentlemen playing us out this week is Noiseland with his specially made track for our eighth birthday it's good boy good boy good boy whistling the bum with his wind or whatever it's called. There's some beautiful little deco pieces down here. Shut up, say goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. I'm going to suck down some vapour. I don't approve of Eli's lifestyle choices and I want that to be known. Oh, because he's such a good boy. He's such a little good boy. He's clean as a whistle with the hairs in his arse. Hairs in his arse.

Whistling the wind as he leans. He's a good boy. He's such a little good boy. He's clean as a whistle with the hairs in his arse. Hairs in his arse. Whistling the wind as he leans. He's a good boy. He's such a little good boy. He's clean as a whistle with the hairs in his arse. Hairs in his arse, hairs in his arse Whistle in the wind as he leaps It's a good boy, he's such a good, good boy He's clean as a whistle with the hairs in his arse, hairs in his arse Whistle in the wind as he leaps He's leaping along

He's leaving us all! I'm the beast of thought. I'm going to break into Eli's head and steal his thoughts. Oh, there's nothing. It's an empty space in here. It is like a void before creation. Void before creation. Are you saying that my mind is a void containing the possibility of all forms, Paul? Because I think that's what you said.

A hang glider made of bacon. Yeah. To good boy, he's such a good, good boy. He cleans his hands and his arse, hands and his arse, whistling the wind as he leans. To good boy, he's such a good, good boy. He cleans his hands and his arse, hairs in his arse, whistle in the wind, as he leaves, he's leaving alone, he's leaving alone, he's leaving alone! But downstairs, the zoo is also drunk Such a good boy He's such a little good boy

He's clean as a whistle Get the hairs in his arse Hairs in his arse Whistle in the wind As he leeees