CheapShow - Ep 343: An Episode In A Box

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

Some week’s Paul and Eli can afford to take it easy. After the exertions of last week’s epic Golden Quest, it’s probably for the best that they let someone else do the hard work of building an episode. Thankfully, there is a PO Box delivery from listeners Karen and Adam that does all the heavy lifting. Inside (amongst other things) is a carefully curated mix of cheap eats and a pretty solid selection of Price of Shite items. What will they make of the Ketchup crisps, pretzel pieces and Blue Ball Bonbons is anyone’s guess, but the biggest question is who will reign victorious and get the most p’twings in the Price of Shite? The important thing to remember is that despite the open goal they’ve been given, Paul and Eli will find a way to ruin it for themselves. Typical! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-343-an-episode-in-a-box And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter (we’re not calling it X) @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow NEW ART: Get hold of Spunk.Rock’s exclusive new CheapShow Artwork: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/CHEAPSHOW-EST-2016-by-spunkrock/115961855.WFLAH.XYZ www.instagram.com/spunk__rock Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

I'm just going to get my mouth ready. Get your mouth ready. Oh, God. Every week, I think, I'm not going to do the cold open, and I'm not going to immediately despise you as soon as you start doing something. And then you do something. He's double fingering me. The bird.

I'm giving two birds. I'm not double fingering him. I don't know what you think that is, Eli. But where I come from, a double finger is quite the aggressive act. So what is the bird? Well, everybody's heard about the bird. Everybody's heard about the word. A buck, buck, buck.

A buck, buck, buck. A buck, buck, buck. Cock, cock, cock. Family guy on their phone. Yeah? They want their joke from like 20 years ago back. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time.

Peanut butter, peanut butter, up your butter jelly time. Paul. It's all helping me warm my mouth up. I was trying to make a very serious point. Yeah. About what the bird represents. Everyone's heard about the bird. Don't do that.

All right, stop doing that. What does the bird represent? It's a finger up the arse, isn't it? You're saying up yours? No. Yes, it is. I've never in my time said, oh, I gave her the bird last night, for example.

Or I gave him or her the bird last night. You are next level stupiding this. Which is a good way of putting it. Yeah. So you've just completely just taken the wind out of your own argument by inventing a nonsense word. What is that? What does it represent, the bird?

As in putting the middle finger up? What am I saying to you when I do? It's like, fuck off. the bird as in putting the middle finger up what am I saying to you when I do fuck off yes as in up yours yeah but the if the finger going up the arse everyone knows that's what it represents

no it's just it's just what's about the two fingers up then that's uh that's different I know that's meant to but what's that well that's the fist we're doing the pump

fist pump that's a sex act I'll give you that but the finger isn't the finger isn't the fist and the elbow movement that's a that's up yours no that's a sex thing that's a sex act. I'll give you that. But the finger isn't. The finger isn't. The fist and the elbow movement, that's a... That's up yours.

No, that's a sex thing. That's a fucking game of the beans last night. Suddenly came alive, ladies and gentlemen. The Vs is just like whatever. It's that victory thing, isn't it? It's like a rude victory. There's loads of reasons behind it. They think it might have been the archers, don't they?

They think that. Not the archers, the radio show. Yeah, they were very rude cast members originally. Do you remember Elbow that was on... What was it? No, I don't remember whatever it is you've just made up now. No, Spanish Archer. It was a TV programme.

It was like a cartoon animated detective show. No, it was on like Channel 5 when it first came out and it just filled out the whole of the runtime. The bird is not a sex thing. I don't think it's a sex thing. I think it's just a V. It means up yours. It means finger up your arse.

That's why I said double fingering. What does the bird consist of? Well, then you just put two fingers up. Then it's not a bird, is it? Why would you use two hands with two different fingers to go up the one bunghole? You wouldn't.

You would use two fingers in the one. You wouldn't fucking do it like you're dancing. You want this one and that one one you might be dealing with two people is that what the thing is? the bird is a dance act now no everybody's heard about the word

the bird, why do you keep saying word? you can't even do your own jokes Paul welcome to Cheat Show everybody no, no I've said it now because that means the music has to come in no, have you

this has been very enlightening for everyone, but not for me. But I just read the other day, with The Bird, they're changing it to The X now. The X. Oh, Eli, well done. Cheap show, everybody.

Cheap show. On the hot topic button pressing side of things. Oh, you can press mine. Nibble, nibble, nibble. And remember, everybody's heard about The Bird. Oh, you can press mine. Nibble, nibble, nibble. And remember, everybody's heard about the bird. No, we're not putting that. Welcome to Cheap Show.

No, I don't. Well, it's tough now I've said it twice. I just want to say to everyone, that's not my gag. Your thing with that thing, the family guy thing. That's not my gag. That's not the kind of humour I'm into.

Hashtag not my gag. Yes. Which you can't do on... I did the really topical bit and didn't do anything about the bird. Have you heard? I mean, ma-mow-mow. No, not ma-mow-mow, no.

Welcome to Cheap Show. No, ma-mow-mow. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's just a fact of Cheap Show you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Go Jolly! Cheat Show It's the price of shite Paul Gannon Eli Silverman Welcome to Cheat Show

And I go and I nuzzle Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Paul Gannon, that's Eli Silverman Welcome to Cheap Show. And I go and I nuzzle. Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Paul Gannon, that's Eli Silverman, and this is yet another episode of the economy comedy podcast, Cheap Show, where we go for the bargains, the charity shops and pound lands of Great Britain, and we bring back the treasure we find amongst that trash. We do get that treasure amongst the trash, Paul. Yes, hi, Eli Silverman here. The English Stack Exchange website says this about flipping the bird. But where did the bird come from?

I'm now going to read to you what is said on this website. On some website. We'll see if it's correct. It's from the Online Etymology Dictionary. All right. All right. The middle finger held up in a rude gesture, slang derived from the 1860s expression,

giving the big bird, to hiss someone like a goose, kept alive in vaudeville slang with a sense of to greet someone with boos, hisses and catcalls, that's from 1922 and transferred in the 1960s to the up yours hand gesture, the rigid finger representing the hypothetical bird to be inserted. Thank you. I think we can all agree I have been... The gesture itself seems to be much older, going back all the way to Latin bestiality. No, bestiary. What's...

A bestiary is a list of animals, like a dictionary of beasts. Which, in Cambridge, which describes the middle finger as that by means of which the pursuit of dishonour is indicated it goes back a long way at no point

did you notice at no point did it mention arseholes bumholes up yours it said what does it mean what is getting up

what of yours do you possess that I could get up with a finger pulled up yours is basically saying whatever you're saying I ignore it

you go on stage and you say, up yours. What does up mean? And what is something, what do I possess amongst my many things? A bum hole. I possess a bum hole. Yeah, you do. And it's mine. You say, that's your bum hole.

This is mine. This bum is my hole. That's yours. That bum is your hole. That is yours. What other things that I might possess? Nose. Okay, up your nose. Up your nose. Or up your ear. You wouldn't go up your ear. Only your hole. That is yours. What other things that I might possess? Nose. Okay, up your nose.

Up your nose. Or up your ear. You wouldn't go up your ear. Only your nose. So you're saying it's up your nose is what I mean. Or about your pee-pee pipe. It said inserted. Your pee-pee pipe.

Right up the pee-pee pipe. That's sort of horizontally up yours, down yours, round yours. Come round up here. You could be lifting it up. No, you know what I'm saying. Up yours. Well, let's let the listeners decide for themselves who was on the right side

of history there up yours I'm double birding you reverse skiing reverse skiing go uphill Paul I'm excited

for today's episode why I just am I'm just a normal cheerful guy I just like doing things hanging out hanging out with you

all the listeners I love it you know what my bum hole well as i i didn't listen to that sorry i really didn't um what's coming up on the show today we have a show built by our supporters and we've had a po box to be fair we've had a few people send us what they call an episode in a box which is a big box full of things we can't possibly cover in just one episode. Because, Paul, how many segments do we do?

We've fallen into this format regime. We've got a few segments, but we don't want to get into... On average, two segments per format. We used to do three, didn't we? And that was too long. And then I said, no. I'm going to have a breakdown again. No, no, no, because basically it was like three segments is too many. We keep doing 90-minute episodes. We got rid of one and segments is too many. We keep doing 90 minute episodes.

We got rid of one and we're still doing 90 minute odd episodes. I think, you know what I think the actual average episode length is? 100 minutes. It's about one hour 10.

No, it's not. It's 70. Oh, yeah. Sorry. 110 is just short of two hours. I think last week's episode was close to that. Yes.

And I didn't think it had a lull in it. Nice sound effects work, bro. Thank you. I quite like my sound effects. Right. Those crisps as well. Worcester.

Tato Worcester. I'm actually touching myself through cloth now. Yeah, he is. He's touching his bourbon. I just had to have a little cup

when I said Worcester. Yeah. He's putting his acorn in the egg cup. Worcester flavoured. Woo, scoop it. Sorry. I've got nothing.

Anyway. But you haven't answered. You haven't literally given me enough time to form a sentence before you jump in with what I like to call more of Eli's mad mouth hour. All right, I'm going to try and cut down on the mad mouth hour this week, okay? Oh, I want to mention this because I keep forgetting every week. I did discuss this with you and we're bringing it up, not for this week, but a future week, is that the Country Urban Noodle Test Lab kitchen will be getting a name change uh not

x but what it will be called is the country urban noodle test lab international cuisine kitchen which now means when you spell it out it says cunt lick cunt lick so it will be now be doing the cunt lick section therefore again building, cunt lick, cunt lick. So we'll now be doing the cunt lick section. Therefore, again, building upon the shitification of this dear podcast. I don't know if that's a shitification. You've just, you're expanding the brand. Shitification, ooh, shitification. And shitification is what you need

when you want to take an asset and strip it of all its resources. Ooh, shitification's what you need if you want to run a social network. Yeah. Paul, I'm fully revved for today's fucking episode in a box. Anyway, the point I was trying to make before you keep interrupting me

is that we've had a few PO boxes all sent to us. We're going to be passing them out over the next few weeks. Ooh, it's exciting. Our first one this week, I just grabbed it on the way out the door it's from karen uh who sent us uh the breakfast noodles so i'll read the letter out in the next segment but we're going to be doing a price of shite and a cheap eats this week oh it you got it it's your usual lovely basic cheap show content uh you really needed me to interrupt there, and I didn't. No.

What it is, is I look into your eyes, and it's like, I don't know, it's like there's a weird thing you do. A sentence comes out, like this sentence. I went to the park yesterday and walked the dog. And I look into your eyes, and it's like, oh, walk the park to the dog-arse biscuits.

It's something like you do. Oh, look, it's Gannon. Everyone, you just saw in the wild, one of Gannon's favourite impro words. In Paul's head, when he wants a word that is random, he goes for biscuits. Has anyone noticed this? I've got another one.

Pork chop. It's not. You never say pork chop. I'm bringing it in. You only say biscuits. Oh, I'm Stuart Porkchop. How do you think we got the character Jimmy Biscuits? And Jimmy. Jimmy's and biscuits is what this whole show is formed on oh we saw one in the wild he said biscuits when he thought tried to think of a random word i'll give you a random word you always do velure velure that's pretty what's that mean it's a type of material oh velure velure no velour yeah that's what i meant well then it's not fucking wank, wank, biscuit brain, pork chop cunt.

Paul, I need to say something. You do. Every week, you do. I need to say something. You need to say less. All right. But that less is still something. Less of something is still something.

We're not going down to zero words here. This is a zero word contract. Am I on a zero word contract? Can you please, whatever it is you want to say, please now say it. Now, Paul, this is our,

we had an episode in the box from Come Tramps for Squidgey. Yes. And we've got a few others which we'll get to. At least two more after this. At least two more.

And we've still got lots of Karen stuff to get through for another episode down the line. So are we going to say, if you want to send an episode in the box, base it around two segments.

Maybe one Price of Shy, one Tasting Bit. One Vinyl Platter, one Cheap Eats. One Soda thing, a Tales from the Shop. Please, we really appreciate you sending us content. Because my flat is drowning in random shit. But event did us

an episode in a box as well. Suitcase. That was brilliant. Yeah. Anyway We're podding in a box baby and we're podding in a cardboard box and we're podding in a box. That's all he had I saw him run out there. I saw you make the decision of shall I continue with this? No.

Because there's not much to that song to be fair. I have something to say though and I know I've been building this up. Well, it's only been eight minutes, so please get to it. You say these are episodes in a box. Yeah. I had an episode. Now, for context, he pointed at his bottom.

Just so people know what's going on at this end of the conversation. Because you don't get to see this and we don't film these bits. I had an episode in my box. In your box, yeah. You had an episode in your box. In your box, yeah. You have an episode in your box. And I'm just wondering. I'm just wondering, Eli. I'm just wondering if this means, you know, you're bummo.

Yeah. And the episode, was that like the screaming shits or something? Yeah. Yeah. So what you're saying is your episode in a box is basically just saying, I had a... I had I had a filthy shit. You shat your guts out the other day. This morning.

This morning. You're up to date. It's 20 past four and you're up to date. Now it's time for traffic and travel. Oh, you've started the snot going now. No, I haven't done that. At no point have I done that you've amused yourself

because you said episode in a box to suggest having the screaming ab dabs it's pretty good though as those things go isn't it I had an episode in a box the other day exactly yeah I pointed at a front part of someone's body oh he's off

you go do that. We'll just end this segment. It's enough. We've done enough here. I've pressed the button. All right, we've done enough. I have to blow my nose. It's an episode in a box.

So let's just get into the letter. Hello, Paul and Eli. Karen and Adam here of the Breakfast Noodle Fame Stroke Infamy. They were the ones who sent us that package it was an interesting noodle

thank you very much I've still got one left I gave mine away to a friend of mine oh yeah did you not keep another one and he just went oh it didn't taste

much of anything I was hoping for like a review I will say this when we had it on the show we had a few bites and thought that's alright actually

it's not too bad it's not horrible but when you have one by itself by the time you get towards the bottom that syrupy flavour starts becoming more and more prominent it's almost horrible but when you have one by itself by the time you get towards the bottom that syrupy flavor starts becoming more and more permanent yes prominent and then it's almost an artificial sweetener flavor it's more like it just becomes too much bite after bite to have to

take in the bit that may please that may please so yeah i don't know but a wonderful curio and not it didn't shit the bed please uh nissan keep making or is it nissan i don't know nissan nissan keep making funny old noodles. Keep making them. Anyway, they go on to say, I think we've managed to put together a show in a box for you. So there's a load of stuff there. There's a Silverman's platters, cheap eats, two prices of shites.

We'll do another one at a later episode. Did you say it was Karen and Adam? Yeah. Nice. Karen Adam. Oh, it's her surname is? Yeah. Karen's surname is Adam.

Adam, yeah. Right, is this full disclosure? No, it's not. You just fucking listen. You just believe anything I say. Oh, it's her surname is... Yeah. Karen's surname is Adam. Adam, yeah. Right, is this full disclosure? No, it's not. You just fucking listen. You just believe anything I say. Well, what then? Karen and Adam. Yes, that's what I thought.

Hello, Adam. Hello, Karen. Here to fall. He hadn't been mentioned to me. You only mentioned Karen to me. So, hello, Adam. And hello, Karen. Nice to meet you both.

Thanks for the noodles. Okay? Okay. He's doing a Weetabix impression. That's Weetabix, yeah. Okay. Karen nice to meet you both thanks for the noodles okay okay so there's a mix of savory and sweet and that's it thank you so much for the many many many hours of laughs and entertainment if you ever fancy an excursion to sunny south Wales

we can accommodate you and give you a lift or our local charity shops or a lovely walk now we're alright anyway no desire to go to Wales. You went to university there. And why would I go back? No, it's a lovely part of the world, but I don't know.

I don't know. I'm a weird boy. I like doing things on my own terms in my own time. You really do. You know what I mean? That's the price of shite.

So we've got four snackaroos from Karen and Adam and we're going to go through them right now. Do you want to start with savoury or sweet? We've only got one sweet, so we'll have that for afters. Let's have the sweet for afters.

I think we should start with these. This is Lay's Sticks. Ketchup flavoured. Now, what is a stick? I've never seen... So, essentially, this is the same company as Walker's. Yes. Do they have a British market version of these?

Sticks? I don't think so. They must. Well, sticks are just like... Not chip sticks. You know the ones we had a few weeks ago? Which had the ketchup with them. Which you did, yeah.

They had the ketchup. Okay, so that's these again, but now they're flavoured with ketchup so you don't have to now pour a weird, dodgy, overly sweet sachet of ketchup in a see-through bag of potato chips. It's just a very weird concept.

It was a very strange thing and I didn't eat much of it. But, so yes, now we know from previous episodes, Paul, that on the continent, especially in middle Europe, tomato ketchup is

the dominant flavour for crisps. Yeah. Ow. That's that on me. Pretzel bites. Careful. Yeah. Ow. That's that on me pretzel bite. Careful. Yeah. Yes.

Tomato ketchup's a big flavour. It's the equivalent of arse salt and vinegar and cheese and onion. Arse salt? Yes, I have arse salt. It was part of the episode I had in my box. And I have a pepper. It all crusted over. And I have a.

The rim of my arse hole is crusted over with salt crystals. But that's funny because my penis. Oh, it's all. It's peppery. So because my penis is peppery. So I could be a peppery. You could what? I'm going to edit that out. I love tomato-flavoured, tomato ketchup-flavoured crisps.

I remember they tried to bring them out. Heinz did a Walker's thing several years ago. I loved those. It was a gimmick though, wasn't it, right? No, because they had them in the shops for a while. Here's the thing. Bollocks to ketchup. How about we have like salad cream flavoured crisps or HP sauce flavoured crisps or what

other sauces are popular? Mayo flavoured crisps. Do we have those? I have tasted those because my friend brought back from the Netherlands chips with mayonnaise. You know, that's the way they do. They pour mayonnaise all over their chips out mayonnaise. You know, that's the way they do. They pour mayonnaise all over their chips out there. Famously mentioned in Pulp Fiction, of course. There was a crisp they brought back.

They went on holiday there, my friends, and they brought back a crisp that was mayo and chip flavoured. So that's weird in two ways, because it's a fried potato, which has been flavoured as a fried potato. Yeah, we've covered that on the show didn't we we had the roasties roast potato flavored crisp i mean i'd love to weirdest yeah it's like saying i don't know like banana flavored banana sundae yes but these did taste of chips

with mayonnaise anyway so they were a mayo flavored and stuff them can i just say i love the idea of a hp sauce or no they cream. No, they have done HP sauce. That Worcester sauce is essentially... It's not, is it? It's not. It's a completely different flavour profile. But I think salad cream is long overdue for a crisp. What the fuck's happening outside? You know what it is?

It's the... It's what? The owner of the flat, the Mike Batt expert. Yeah. He once complained about the noise of helicopters. It's like a holding pattern thing. We're in the epicentre of... Is it traffic police hovering over? Who knows? They just hang out here for hours.

Anyway, go on, huff the bag. Sorry, everyone. It's even worse when you're trying to sleep off a drug. And they're like, do you feel like you're in Apocalypse Now? Do you feel like you're in Apocalypse Now? Can I get out of the jungle? Whatever. Sorry. It's funny, I've never heard Jimmy Savile in Apocalypse Now. Can't get out of the jungle. Whatever.

Sorry. It's funny, I've never heard Jimmy Savile in Apocalypse Now. He's huffing. Oh, I've got a shampoo note. Weird soapy note coming off this. Really? Yeah.

I have to have a huff of that. Yeah, and then you've got the kind of paprika-y... It's almost like a soap. Oh yeah, you're right. But then it gets into a spicy, more recognisable tomato. Oh! I might have to take all my words back about the shape and size of these crisps.

They're all flaky. Ah, they're formed, aren't they? These are slightly different, yes. They're like... Those aren't what we thought at all. They're like V-strips. Yeah, they're kind of unique. They're formed.

So it's reformed potato, and it's sort of in a little V, a long V. Strange. Anyway, time to scoff them. Now, having masticated them, do you have a kind of vomity afternote to these? A kind of belly rennet kind of tang to it. No, they're a bit smoky up front. It's a paprika smoke, isn't it? Yeah. A kind of belly rennet kind of tang to it. No, they're a bit smoky up front. It's a paprika smoke, isn't it?

And then the tomato ketchup does come in. But then it's got this kind of bile kind of aftertaste. It kind of evolves into a kind of slightly stomach acid-y thing. Do you mean like the taste of Parmesan cheese? Yes. Kind of like that. Yeah, I think there's some of that in there. Yes.

But I, I didn't get it as a, so it didn't make me feel repulsed. I actually could completely demolish that. Even I was thinking, yeah, they're not too bad. Cause it's not like, so like some ketchup crisps or,

um, flavors like that can be very sharp. They can be very kind of, um, like vinegary. Yes. In the way this isn't got any of that. You mean like vinegary, like prawn cocktail? Yeah. That any of that you mean like vinegary like prawn cocktail

yeah that kind of yes what the fuck's going on outside i'm telling you mate they literally just hang there for half an hour at least going around in a little tight circle right above my house essentially it's never happened when we've recorded before but it does happen sometimes it's like seriously it's like there's a war going on outside. Well, there is. Well, yeah, man. Tell it to the streets. Tell it to the streets. Tell it to the streets. Tell me I'm the only one.

Is it really love or just a game? Tell it to my meats. Hello, sausage. There's a war going on. Oh, blimey. I can't do this, governor. Right. I have zero inspiration. I am Sergeant Bacon.

Private Porkchop at your service. Hello. We're going over, boys. I'll just get me big good mate's banger, steak, mortadella, salami. Don't forget private salami. I said salami just now. I know, I said don't forget him though. Okay, I Don't forget private salami I said salami just now Don't forget him though We're going for the big push now

Governor You'll be seeing that As our new kids TV show Meet Army Starting next week on CITV Cheap show ITV Right starting next week on CITV. Cheap show, ITV. Illu, illu, illu.

That's a placement. Right. Sergeant Truncheon. No, Sergeant Luncheon's Truncheon. Sergeant Luncheon's Truncheon. Would you like to see my truncheon? I've got a spare hammer for you, my love. I'm going to thwap out the sliced roast beef onto the counter.

And by that, I mean get your fanny out and I'll let you off. Oh, I'm Private Clam. Oh, I've got a mungy clam. Okay, so we're not really developing. You started. I did start it. I did not. I'm an innocent boy, I am.

We need some kind of indication for how much you like those crisps, Paul. Let's do it out of five, like you always do. I'll go for a... Seriously, what the fuck's going on with this country? It's been bad round here recently. It's just madness. There's the fucking choppers and beep beeps. And I bet any minute a cop car goes by,

nee-nah, nee-nah. Nee-nah, nee-nah. Nee-nah, nee-nah, nee-nah. They don't say go, nee-nah, nee-na. Ni-na, ni-na. Ni-na, ni-na, ni-na. They don't say go ni-na, ni-na. Anyway, right. They go woo, woo, woo. They don't go ni-na, ni-na. Anyway, Sergeant Luncheon Struncheon gets a 3.75 out of 5 for me.

I'd easily go 3.75. Yeah. On the destructor meter, I would destroy. As in I would eat the lot in one sitting. Yeah. I think tomato ketchup flavoured crisps need to make a comeback in this country well they might be who knows who knows when a trend will catch fire there'll be a tiktok about it won't there the ketchup crisp challenge where you'll be like oh what's better a potato chip that smells of ketchup or a plain crisp with a dollop of ketchup on?

I've made the test. Do you think? Om, om, om. Oh, I like it. Om, om, om. Oh, I like it. I don't understand what you're doing. Om, yum, yum.

You ever know that woman that was on Twitter all last week because everyone was going, what's all that? Boo, boo, boo. Boo, boo. Om, yum, yum. I like it. Whatever you say. We could do that, Paul.

We could do that. I don't know. You said people pay to use quotes. I thought. I like it we could do that you said like people pay to use quotes I didn't understand what it was I thought they were really actually computer generated things and someone is just running she was a real human being but she was

basically just bopping along and saying things that people wanted her to say on cue someone actually just build an actual non-player character? Yeah, but people don't want that because it's a real human being and they're manipulating her to do what they want and she gets paid for the opportunity to do so. It's just...

You like it? I don't know what she says. I don't know. We don't want to get into that shit. Next, we're going to do a twofer. We have pretzel pieces, which we've had on the show before, various disguises. Geysers. Geysers geysers

oh what's this oh it's salt and vinegar oh no it's really pretzel peas oh pretzel peas you fuck disguiser yeah came in dressed like a chub of pringles a chub of pringles

oh yeah that's the magic that's an episode of The Box, isn't it? I'm just thinking of putting my penis into a Pringle box now. Oh, mate, I've got a chub of Pringles coming on. Right, sorry, everybody. Excuse me, sir. Could you put on baggier pants?

I can see your chub of Pringles. Oh, brilliant. Right, so there are two pretzel pieces we've had different types on the show before we've got we've got one pack called pretzel peat buffalo blue and one called crack craxel c-r-a-c-k-z-e-l yes i think these are hungarian or polish i've had these before these are cr essentially, right? They look like pretzel pieces, but effectively... Oh, no, you might be right. But these are garlic bread.

Garlic bread flavoured croutons. They also do... I can't read this. We've had similar stuff before. I literally have got to the point in my life where I can't read this packaging now. Can you read what those two other flavour things are? I haven't brought my glasses.

God, we're getting old. No, it's kind of dingy in here. Yeah, but also that's small though, right? That's small. Packaging is getting smaller in general, right? Okay, you got honey mustard. Honey mustard. Onion.

Onion. Honey mustard onion. Oh, like standard, yeah. And? And what? Wasabi. Oh! Slightly less standard.

No, but I think we've had something like that before in the past. Maybe these are pretzel pieces. You're right, because they say pretzel pieces. But this brand, oh no, it's not this brand. I'm just mistaken. This is a totally new brand to me. Paul, can we just give a little bit of background about pretzel pieces? The original company was Snyder's, right?

Are they? Yes. You know that for a fact? It's big in the States. Do you know that for a fact that they were the first company to do pretzel pizzas? I do not, but I think they were the first to sell them in this country at least.

Okay. And they were over in America earlier this decade, basically. You get the jalapeno one and you get honey mustard. But the best one that they ever did was the buffalo wings. Yeah.

Which they discontinued here. They had hot and a sour. Well, these are buffalo blue. Yes. Do you reckon these are going to be wings. Yeah. Which they discontinued here. They had hot and a sour. Well, these are buffalo blue. Yes. Do you reckon these are going to be similar? Yeah, hopefully. They're definitely my favourite flavour of pretzel piece of all time.

Oh, fuck me. The Snyder. It's got a vinegary hit on the Nuff Nuff. No, this smells like I've opened a tin of paint. I'm going to take a pretzel piece out and they're coated and dusted in this stuff. That's it, like a buffalo wing. That's the point.

Yeah, but they seem to be a classier make. Snyder are a classier make. Mate, smell that. Bobbies do these now. Yeah. We've had them on the show. Those are good value, aren't they? You see what I see?

It's like acrylic paint. Sort of cardboardy. Anyway, let's bite them because that's where the truth is. So it looked like you liked them, judging by your facial expressions, but I never know with you. I did like them, yes.

I didn't. There wasn't enough flavour to it. What flavour was there felt really synthetic and like off. To me, they're a lovely balance between chilly heat. There's a heat there. True, but is it meant to? And there's a tartness, like a turkey or something. There's that sort of...

But is it meant to? That citric acid sort of here yes that's what buffalo wing what's buffalo blue blue is the blue cheese and that's the tang yeah yeah there is no blue cheese oh

there was a cheese note as well I noticed a cheese note that's what they're trying to do I don't think that's a very I think the other one we had was

far more flavorful and just better because that was just a buffalo wing flavor rather than this is trying to combine the wing with the dip in one in one so buffalo wings are notoriously hot is that is that no not notoriously hot buffalo what does buffalo mean it is a sauce consisting of spicy with vinegar essentially and it so they are both those. A proper buffalo wing would be both tart

and have some chilli heat as well, which I think that manages. And there's a cheese note as well. So I could pick out all three things. Yeah, I got that. I just thought the overall flavour wasn't particularly impressive. In fact, if anything,

it tasted too synthetic for me to enjoy. There is a slight cardboard-y syntheticness, but I enjoyed. I have to say. I would give that a 2 out of 5. I would go for a 3.5 out of 5 on that one.

Go on to the other one. These are the Craxels. Pretzel piece. Garlic bread. Garlic bread. What's the naff on that? Smells like garlic bread. That's nice.

I love the smell of garlic bread. Depends on the mood. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes I'm going to be sick in my mouth. Really? Yeah. You're not a big garlic fan. No, I am.

But sometimes if I'm not in the right mood. I don't know. It's a bit mouth. Really? Yeah, it's because sometimes... You're not a big garlic fan. No, I am. But sometimes, if I'm not in the right mood, I don't know, it's a bit gross. I can't explain it. I'm getting... Oh, my soap again here. It's not a very strong garlic odour.

No, it's not a strong garlic odour, but it's there. To me, this has got more of an artificial even than those first ones. I don't know about that. Anyway, time to eat these and find out.

Now, Paul, were you getting a sort of piney, almost rosemary sort of oregano-y thing? There was elements of that in there, but for me it was kind of like a sweet garlic creme kind of thing. What? Creme is a perfectly fine word. It's not.

It's perfectly fine. What on earth do you mean by a creme? What is it? Like a sweet syrup, like a condensed flavoured syrup. Okay, fine. I mean, I can make... Do you want me to go further with the creme analogy? I don't think creme has a definition.

I think that was a nice garlicky creme. For me, they were distinctly underpowered and almost hinting into a sort of floral herbiness. Almost cheesy as well. And there's a cheesiness there, definitely. sort of floral herbiness. Almost cheesy as well. And there's a cheesiness there, definitely. An unwanted cheesiness. You know, like your bell-end. Like your bell-end before it quiveringly approaches a lady's opening.

And right before you insert yourself within her, she gets a big snuff of gorgonzola. Come here, way. Gorgonzola guff-waffed. Fucking penis tip. Looks like a dog-eaten custard. I don't know why you're cracking me up. Weird. I'm loving

all these crisps and you're cracking me up. Right. On to dessert. On to dessert. No, wait. We haven't rated these I would give The Petzl Preet The Petzl You didn't say Petzl

What did I say for that? I didn't say anything Oh, we didn't say But we have said the garlic Haven't we? No, we've got to do that Both right now Let's do it now, yes

So, Petzl Preet Buffalo Blue What would you give it out of five? I'd say it's a solid 3.5 for me For me, I would just go Three Okay Being kind Because I could demolish that bag You could give it out of five i'd say it's a solid 3.5 for me for me i would just go three okay being kind because i i could demolish that bag you could okay but i wouldn't particularly right i think

i would prefer the other ones that we had all those years ago they were just they were so fucking smash it in my mouth moorish you would the the buffalo the schneiders yeah yeah yeah they've got a real tang it's a bit like those pickled Onion flavoured walkers They had a real sharp tang Balanced though You know I want some power For my crisp flavours

You know Some proper presence I want length I want that flavour to not like Disappear the minute the crisp's gone I want there to be a bit of Lingering acetate Yeah it's not much length

On either of these pretzel piece products No we call that an Eli Silverman Don't we Why because I've got a tiny cock Is that what you're saying I have a small dick. It's always been fine for me.

That's because you've got tiny hands. It's always been fine for people I've had relations with. No, it hasn't. You ask them right now and they'll be all

like, they shrugged their shoulders. What do you think of Eli's penis? Nah. Jesus Christ. What do you think of it?

Nah. It's always been fine for me and, you know, people don't complain. Just you and your crow. Me and my crow's beak. That's think of it? Yeah. It's always been fine for me and, you know, people don't complain. Just you and your crow. Me and my crow's beak. That's not making it in, everyone. It might have done.

I don't know. Until we get here. I might have left it in. Let's pursue my dead. I would like a mark from you for the garlic bread pretzel pieces. Ooh, well. Made by Craxer. Craxel.

Craxel. Craxel.xel Craxel Yeah weird name I don't like it I would probably give those 2.5 I would go yeah A 2.5 for those Fine

You'd eat them But I don't think I'd ever buy a bag again Off the back of that They weren't as nice as the Buffalo Blues Were they? No No There you go

We're going to move on to our Final piece Nom nom nom nom nom Dessert Dessert. Karen and Adam have sent us dessert, and these are Tango Blue Raz Bon Bons. But, what's this? Blue Balls?

No, he can't bring him back, because he's part of the whole universe thing. I'll do what the fuck I like. Won't I? Juicy Jeremy has... Captain Blue Balls. Who are? I've come out of Oiden since our last adventure I'll do what the fuck I like. Won't I? Juicy Jeremy has... Captain Blue Balls. Who are?

I've come out of hiding since our last adventure on the Cheap Show podcast. Who are? Ask him questions. Get him involved. Hello, Captain. Oh, hello there, Eli. My favourite of the Cheap Show hosts. You're my favourite.

Who are? Thank you. That's nice of you to say. You know what? The reason why I like you so much is when my balls are bluest and bulgiest and at their most explosive, I think of you and the pain subsides. So what? Because I have my blue balls, don't I? That's my gimmick.

We've got some sweets you might want to try, so hang out. Why? Because he's got your namesake. Let's have a look. Oh, blue balls. You think that's funny, do you? Do you think that's funny? Do you think that's funny? Are you going to pop my blue balls in your mouth?

That's the joke, is it? That's the joke, yeah. You thought it'd be funny to have me come along and make fun of my medical condition just so you could have some bonbons, do you? I didn't invite you. I think Paul sprbons, do you? I didn't invite you. I think Paul sprang this on me. I'm sorry.

I thought it'd be a nice surprise for him to put bonbons. Did you book him on Hermes? Yeah. What did you get him to deliver? Bag of eggs. Oh, a bag of eggs. A bag of eggs. One of those bag of eggs.

Old Mrs. Old Grady in Hammersmith. Oh, you are Mrs. Old Grady. No. Shh, I'm not. What does she look like? No, she's an old lady. She's in her 70s. Perhaps that will help Captain with his... Are you into that? Shh, I'm not. What does she look like? No, she's an old lady. She's in her 70s. Perhaps that will help

Captain with his... Are you into that? Oh, I don't know. I've never really thought about geriatrics. Well, maybe you've got to look down all these avenues to help.

Do you think I should... Do you have any websites you can recommend with old people doing that? Yes. Doing that? I've heard,

just through a friend. Yeah? Grand Flange, Grand Flange. Grand Flange. Oh, oh God. Oh no. You set him off. And there's also Jerry Hattrick. Is it Hairy Hattrick?

What is that? Hairy Hattrick, Jerry Hattrick. I'll be going to that one later. Of course, there's always, you know, you can get on the M25. Yeah. I think it's to that one later. Of course, there's always, you know, you can get on the M25. Yeah. I think it's exit 15 or something. Yeah, it is. You've got Big Ron's Dog Fuck Farm.

Oh, I don't do that no more. I went there once. It was a bit of a letdown. Just the one dog. They've only got the one dog? Only got the one dog. And I don't think it was a dog. What was it?

I don't know. It looked like a small man when they put a mask on him. Because he would go woof woof. But he wasn't like a bar. He was just a man saying woof woof but he wasn't he wasn't like a bar he was just a man saying woof woof he was dressed in brown and you didn't achieve

ejaculation then no I can't I can't do it now what about your crew though don't you have some kind of loyalty to them

they're out there on the high seas without you they're looking after the boat yeah no they're doing that but they're just doing office party stuff out there now

office party stuff office comes over and land on the boat. They get to be pirates for a day. Ah. And then they go home and they've got a team

building exercise. I see. That's what I've got that going on. Captain Blue Bull's office building work. That's what it's called, is it?

No, I didn't work on that. You sprang it on me, didn't you? Captain, if you want to, I have to get on with this podcast and try these

sweets. Oh, alright. Do you have a bucket of cold water? Go in the ante room. There's all sorts of stuff there. It's basic. Oh, there's a little bucket of water there. I'm just going to put my big old bowls in it. Ooh. They may be blue, but they're red hot in

temperature. Oh, hell yeah. They really are steaming up. There's steam filling the whole of... Mate, close the door. There's a tang. There's a tang of the ocean on that steam. There's a seaweed-y, saltwater tang. I call it fruit of the loo.

Close the door. This is the longest improvisation we've done in years. It's good, isn't it? It's our best. I'll be cutting most of it out, to be fair. All the stuff about running over kids, that's gone. Blue Razz. Of course, Tango, get on the new thing and it's Blue Razz.

Yeah, but this is some old bullshit company. Oh, it's even a company called Rose Sweets. And they've bought the Tango license because when I think of Tango, as a soft drink company, I think of raspberry bonbons don't you what has happened to tango because they seem to be selling their uh license to loads of stuff like this now yeah but it's like vimto and and uh slush puppies yeah but coca-cola don't do that do they coca-cola don't need to when you think about it isn't tango like owned by one of these PepsiCo or Coke or something?

Tango maybe. I can't remember off the top of my head right now. It's just a UK thing Tango isn't it? Oh it's Unilever. Unilever.

They're huge obviously. Oh no sorry I take it back. Britvic. Right. They're huge aren't they? I don't know because Britvic used to be

like the fruit juice people. Schweppes is Britvic as well isn't it? I believe. Yeah I think they're a big sort of... The thing is we know what these are going to taste like just by looking at them. You know what I mean?

I'm hoping they have quite a bit of a sherbet fizz to them, Paul. They won't, though. Oh, it says tongue painter. Do you know what bugs me about this? That is not a... That's not a feature. That's a glitch. What they've done is they've gone,

the fucking chemicals we use in this... Make your mouth blue. Blue. But let's make it a little bit of fun. Children like that. I guess so. Tango is going with its whole sort of slightly dangerous image,

which it had since those famous ads, You've Been Tangoed. Yeah, that 90s edgelordy shit they were doing. Which was somewhat similar to the way that Pot Noodle marketed themselves.

Because that was the lad culture of the 90s, wasn't it? It was. In a nutshell. Right, this is a very sorry bonbon, but it's a blue bonbon. Did you get a niff-naff-naff on the bonbons? Get the niff-naff-naff. It's not much.

No? A bit of a sugar smell? There's a little bit of that. Oh, I'm getting quite a strong blue-raz flavour. Yeah, but there's also a kind of weird paint smell again. Yes, underneath it all there is the paint smell. But I do like that smell of blue-raz, I have to say. Yeah. It's kind of familiar.

All right, well, let's pop a blue ball in our mouth. Don't bonbons usually have a sort of toffee centre, a harder toffee centre? I think that depends on the company. Maybe. I don't know. But they were so unremarkable. They were extremely middle of the road.

It's just this dense, chewy... They were almost identical to the slush puppy ones. Maybe they're manufactured in the same company probably it's probably a great big fucking shitty big factory choffing them out

now do they yes they've painted your tongue Paul oh yeah and yours yeah yeah it's blue that's what it says on the packet

I see you like to chew on the west side of your mouth I do because I've got a tooth missing on the other side oh there you go because I noticed

that your tongue gave it away there's all blue on one side yeah yeah yeah was my tongue no you've got a tooth missing on the other side. Oh, there you go. Because I noticed that your tongue gave it away. It was all blue on one side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was my tongue. No, you've got it quite centred. Yeah, nice spread. All your teeth are working there. I can usually get a nice spread on my tongue.

I shouldn't favour it so much because it just means the other side will rot as well. It's all going to rot, isn't it? Tough times. And then we'll die. Yeah, hopefully. With a little bit of luck. You seem to be able to mention that every week these days.

It's getting closer, isn't it? I mean, this is a diary of our march towards death, this podcast. Oh, good. I'm glad the tone's been lifted, though, in the last few moments. It's because the fucking bonbons were so... One of the most underwhelming things we've ever done. Yeah, one out of five for me for the bonbons. Sorry.

The smell was nicer than the taste. And you wouldn't want to eat any more than one or two of them before going, Bin? Yeah, going in the bin. Yeah, terrible thing. What a horrible thing. And you wouldn't want to eat any more than one or two of them before going, bin? Yeah. Going in the bin? Yeah, terrible thing. What a horrible thing. And Tango shouldn't do that, because Tango, I quite like their orange soda, yeah.

Yeah, I quite like Tango, back in the day. Here's the thing, though. If you're going to get bonbons, would you get one bag of one flavour of bonbons, or would you rather have a nice mix? I would have a mix, yeah. You know what I mean? There's the police. I was right, though, wasn't I? And it was a woo-woo. It I would have a mix, yeah. You know what I mean? There's the police. I was right, though, wasn't I?

And it was a woo-woo. It was a woo-woo rather than a no-no. A me-ma. Me-ma-ni-na. Well. No, but Paul. Yeah. We're done here.

Yeah. We're done here. That was it. So. That was that. One out of five. Well, thank you for our cheap eats. But let's take a quick break.

And we're going to come back with a hopefully more exciting A Price-O-The-Shite-O. A Price-O-The-Shite-O. Why, Eli, what time is it? A Prick-A-Prick-A-Pronty Price-O-Shite. A Prick-A-Prick-A-Pronty Price-O-Shite. A Prick-A-Prick-A-Pronty Price-O-Shite. Oh, it's the fucking Price of Shite.

And that's right. Thank you. Much better. And it is time for the Price of Shite, the world-famous game that Eli and I play week in, week out,

where we find, in some cases, items in a charity shop and the other person has to guess them based on the quality of said item. And can I ask a question, Paul?

Why, of course you can, good friend. I wonder who will be precise on the night for the Price of Shite. Well can I ask a question, Paul? Why, of course you can, good friend. I wonder who will be precise on the night for the price of shite. Well, let's find out. Who will be most precise on the night

for the price of shite? Let's find out who's got it. Is it going to be Paul Gannon? Or me, Eli Silverman? We just don't know until we start the game. Prick-a-prick-a-pronty, price of shite.

So this is a price of shite, and that's right, from Karen and Adam. It says it's from various charity shops in South Wales. Okay, nice. Like a little bit of background. A little bit of background there.

We're going to get two betwings for getting the price on the nose. Now, a betwing is what we call in this podcast a point. A point is a betwing, and a betwing is a point. But points are meaningless. Betwings are the thing. Betwings, I enfold them in my golden wing. So if we get the price exactly right we're going to get two betwings if we get the price within 25p either way the correct price well that's only one between

but it's just as valid a between i mean these are most betwings you get uh when are those ones aren't they they're by and large yeah by and large common betwings they're easier betwings they're they're what makes this game dependable solid good, good old-fashioned British between. Right. However, there is a wild card. Ooh, I love it. One item of these five was free. Ah, again, this. So we're going to have to find which of these is an item of free purchase.

Which costs nothing. Which costs nothing. What is the word? Of free purchase. We live in a world of free purchase. No one's ever said that. I've just said it. Yes, but no one knows what you mean.

At some point, someone has to say a phrase. That becomes common parlance later on. So that was a free purchase. I will bet you £100. Yeah, that what? That doesn't become a thing that a lot of people say. Yeah, I'm not saying it's going to become a thing. I'm just saying all common parlance is start with someone saying a thing which catches on.

Yeah. Like up yours. Like bum bum finger. Bum yours. Like bum bum finger. Bum bum finger, bum bum finger. Here he comes, he will not linger. Bum bum finger. Who's that man? Who is he over there?

Bum bum finger. He's coming over closer. Oh, beware. It's bum bum finger. Hello, I'm bum bum finger. What do you do if you don't know what he's going to do to you if you bend up with your bot? Bot, bot, bum bum finger man. he's coming in to get your gland.

I think we should start again. Bumfinger, bum, bumfinger. Don't bend down when he's around. You'll find his finger. Touch the ground. It's bum, bumfinger. Bumfinger, what does he do if you linger? All you'll feel is frosty finger.

Bumfinger. Bumfinger. Hello, hello, hello. I'm looking for a certain gentleman in this establishment. I will have a... Yeah? Don't know you mean, mate. Well, I would like a drink first. Are you on duty, sir?

Well, I might be. I'm just making some inquiries. Then I won't serve you a drink, will I, Gav? Well, you have to. I know, because you could be breaking the law if I serve you a drink. Also, I'll have half a Guinness. I don't have anywhere called half a Guinness. I've noticed on the chalkboard your specials.

Yeah. Some nice dishes there, but I think I will... Oh, no, he's lost it. I don't know what he's doing, by the way. I'm trying to go along with this. I think I will like a plate of number three Irish stew. Oh, we haven't got any Irish stew. Irish stew's off.

Have you dropped a penny on the floor? Just there? Well, I don't believe I have. Bend down. I think you've dropped a quid. Oh, it's a quid. Pick that up. It's a quid.

It's yours. Oh, it's a quid then. What? Bum, bum, finger. He strikes again. Bum, bum, finger. God damn you, bum, bum, finger. Whether you're a criminal or cop, he'll put his finger up your butt.

It's Bomb Bomb Finger. Bomb Bomb Finger. Oh, naughty Bomb Bomb Finger's come to town. I'm Henry Bixson of the squad. Bomb Bomb Finger. Bomb Bomb Finger and him are enemies. Yes, they are. Yes, of course. Yeah, Gav, you know.

Oh, Bomb Bomb Finger, that's my name. Or is it? I don't know. I'm just a bloke. I thought you were the bomb tender. Yeah, I'm not you know. Oh, Bum Bum Finger, that's my name. Or is it? I don't know. I'm just a bloke. I thought you were the bar tender. Yeah, I'm not Bum Bum Finger at all, mate. Okay, good. I love your Irish shit.

I'm not Bum Bum Finger at all, mate. Oh, no. I'm not Bum Bum Finger. Bum Bum Finger. Bum Bum Finger. And it was at that point that Paul and Eli realised

they couldn't go on with the podcast anymore. Goodbye. It's five minutes. Here we go. Five items. Here's the first.

Say what you see. Okay, Paul. First item on the Price of Shite. This is an item I've seen in many guises. Many moons. In many charity shops. This is a staple of charity shops because it's a useless thing.

Is it though? Yeah. I could see old people using it if they have bad hands. No, because you have giant face cards for people who have got

bad sight. No, but normal sized hands. Like arthritis or something. Maybe they need bigger cards for that. Anyway, these are jumbo playing cards. Big bad hands, like arthritis or something, maybe they need bigger cards for that.

Anyway, these are jumbo playing cards. Can you imagine the cruelty of forcing an old person with arthritis to shuffle a pack of cards? You wouldn't, you'd

get them at one of those electronic shufflers. Yeah, don't try to laugh over the phrase electronic shuffler. I am electronic shuffler.

Oh, can I put you in my pants? Bum bum finger. He's back. So yeah, it's a big pack of jumbo playing cards, everybody. Quite nice clown on a ball design, which is obviously the back of the card design. Or you could play a card right with them.

Oh, it's not on the back of the card. That's disappointing. No. It's much more standard sort of. Standard. Is there a phrase for that kind of design on the back of a playing card because they all have that kind of look i'm sure there is that symmetrical well it's to pattern it's so that you can't distinguish them it has to be symmetrical if

you think about it yeah no of course it's better because you can see which way up a card is so they're symmetrical in every way cards aren't they you've got the king's head on both ends yeah that's the idea isn't it we all know how cards work. Did you know that it was only invented, the innovation of putting the rank in the corner of the card was only invented in the late 1800s? For poker. And they were called, yes, so that you didn't have to expose the whole of your card.

You could squeeze up the corner. And they were known as squeezers. Oh. Yes. So they were invented. Before that, there was no number on the card. You just had the pips. Oh. Yes. So they were invented. Before that, you just had, there was no number on the card.

You just had the pips. Oh, so okay. So it was all by sight. Yeah. How funny. And how difficult would that be? Okay, so why would you use a big jumbo card? You wouldn't.

It's a pure novelty item. Oh, okay. Maybe at a kid's party or if you're doing a TV show or something. But Eli, what is the price of these jumbo playing cards? Now they're from charity shops

in South Wales. We haven't been given a ceiling or any structure to the building. I've looked, there is no ceiling. Okay. We'd never really

played with a ceiling before in the past but I think it's because we knew the prices because we were buying them a lot more. We used to play it with a window,

didn't we? You insisted on a window and then a ceiling makes more sense. A ceiling is a bit better than a window. Or at least a foundation. Any analogy works in that instance. A floor. It's a floor you need to guess first if you'd like to go first i'll go first i'm going to go ahead and say that those things

buying large when i've seen them on sale go for like one pound or 150 i'm going to split the difference and say 125 on those 25 because 25 is the magic number. What you'll notice listener is that a lot of our guesses will be multiples of 25 and that is because of that rule

we mentioned before. Those common betwings you get for being 25p either side. And also you don't tend to get complicated prices in charity shops.

It's not like you're going to get 399 or 275. They tend to be one quid, 50, £2.50, fiver.

What I happen to have inside knowledge of, certain charity shops do use the 99p tactic. Oh, okay. Okay, I've never really come across that, but I'm sure it's there. They do sometimes. And sometimes in smaller sort of chains of charity shops,

you just get weird prices, don't you? Yeah, weird. But again, depends on where you go and what it is. So I'm going to say £1.25 for jumbo cards. £'re saying 125 for the giant playing cards yes they're quite nice uh not much use you can pretend to be bruce for so i can play play your cards right you could do that but there's not much else is there because if you're on a you know if you're trying to play a game of cards on a train they're no use or maybe they are for smaller children to play card games with yeah some sort that that would work for kids little kids who have trouble gripping the card.

Yeah, something like that. You're saying £1.25. What are you going to say? Are you going to up it or down it? I'm going to down it. I think it's more likely to be a quid or even less than a quid. I had this figure come to mind. 75p came to my mind.

All right, put it in. 75p is being locked in as I bring up the second item. And this second item is a card game again, but this is called Bali. B-A-L-I. Is it solitaire or a crossword puzzle or a card game? Bali. Bali.

The ultimate card stroke word game. Fiercely competitive action for one, two, three, or four players. The object, to create words of three or more letters for maximum point totals this is very similar to a lot of other games i've seen in terms of that play structure it kind of feels like it's boggle meets solitaire grams is similar as well isn't it i do like banana grams oh i like this i like this i like the design of it it's got this nice 70s brown made by Aladdin apparently are they a big

company Aladdin I don't know it's just on the side it says Aladdin Bali oh this is quite nice it's a lovely little thing again reeks of 70s everything's bronze

and brown in its design again pictures on our website thecheapshow.co.uk oh this has got nice it's got the rules in there with it I think it looks complete

yeah it does two packs worth. Is that a blank? Me and my friend may play this. Okay, cool. My friend likes card games, Paul, and he likes checking out card games. This seems like a nice one. What's on the other side?

Because on the back, obviously, you've got this weird... What is that artwork? It's like, it's Balinese, isn't it? But do you know what it looks like to me when I look at that figure? It looks like Easter Island. That kind of Easter Island sculpture sort of thing. Head. Think Stormtrooper, and then look at it. Wow. See what I mean? It looks like a Star me, when I look at that figure... It looks like Easter Island. That kind of Easter Island sculpture sort of thing. Head. Think Stormtrooper and then look at it.

Wow. See what I mean? It looks like a Star Wars Stormtrooper. But it's supposed to be sort of Balinese indigenous art, isn't it? Which is fine. I mean, it's weird, isn't it? It's like Tiki or something. Yeah, but that's weird because this is obviously a Western invention, this card game.

It must be. And yet they've given it like an exotic name to make it sound, what, older or like it has a bigger lineage or something? It's just exoticism, isn't it? It's making it exotic. It's exactly like Tiki, you know. There was a lot of that in the 70s, though, where a lot of very boring things were given very exciting, extravagant, exotic names. Yeah. It looks very basic.

Like, cards have a letter in either corner. Yeah. Again, they've gone to... It's a nice design. Is that a V or an A? That's a V. What's the three for? I guess that's the point you get for using the word.

Yeah, some of them don't have, though. See, that has you with no number on it. Probably because it's a vowel, so they're going to be commonly used. Maybe. I'd have to read the rules. But I have to say, for me, I like these sort of things. That is a nice item. It's not for me, but I like its heritage.

Yeah, it's got a nice kitschy design thing and obviously you wouldn't go for that now because they call it cultural appropriation and indeed it is in a way i guess but it's also kind of like ignorantly so so even if you didn't care about it you just go oh fancy game of bali bali bali bali um what it might be is it could be based on some kind of game that someone saw when they were a tourist in bali what do you think often that often they have that kind of origin don't they someone finds something when they're abroad and then they try and sort of uh bring it over western thing you know a western version but how much do i think it costs how much do you think it costs i think it's quite unusual

i think it could be there are different rules for one, two or three player versions which is something innit I'm going to say £1.50 Alright, whereas weirdly my brain's gone the opposite direction and I'm going to say 90p Oh, you've gone cheaper, I thought you were going to go more expensive

No, I think for some reason that seems it could be a cheap sell, I'm going to say 90p 90p for you, Paul. Okay, let's go on to item number three, please. So this is something that's quite pretty to look at. It's a puzzle. It comes in a box. But I have the horrible feeling that if you try to undo this

to get the puzzle of elements working, it would become a living fucking nightmare. It would all go in the bin pretty quickly. No, I've had one before and they're cool. I've done it before. Have you? Yeah. Tell them what it is. It is called a cyclone puzzle. Into the bin pretty quickly. No, I've had one before and they're cool. I've done it before. Have you? Yeah. Tell them what it is.

It is called a cyclone puzzle. Into the mic as well, which is always good. A cyclone puzzle. And it is sort of a modular three-dimensional puzzle with all these exact same pieces that have little hinges almost. Pieces of plastic. They're thin strips of plastic.

Flexible plastic with hinges built in that interlock and join into a a ball shape essentially well imagine like the letter i in italics and like that's what the strips look like a big thick i and they all form together to form a kind of orb you're right and i don't know for me the minute that comes apart is the minute i lose interest in it. I like the way it looks as is. It's got an objet jar sort of... Objet jar... Objet dar. Objet dar sort of vibe.

Objet dar. For sure. And I like sort of abstract things like this. It's very light. It's very nice. It's adorable. But without taking it apart, it becomes pointless.

It's not really a puzzle. No, I mean, it is. Because the puzzle is, how does that all fucking stick together? How do you have the patience and tolerance? There's a skill to it, isn't there, obviously. I wouldn't have the tolerance for that. I really wouldn't.

I'd get upset trying to hold it half together while I put another slip in. You know what I mean? I have to say, this and the barley, quite nice, above-the-rim sort of items from Karen. It's very much a 90s kind of men's kind. It's a puzzle, but it's also verging into an executive toy or, like you say in Object R. Jigsaw. It's like a kind of 3D jigsaw thing as well. But all the pieces are the same.

What it is, though, weirdly, I just don't find it satisfying as a puzzle or a piece of art, I guess. Yeah, it is interesting because some of these hinges have more pieces on them, more interlocking elements than others. And then it's figuring out how all that sticks together. I don't know. Funny. Seems like a waste of the planet's resources, that, frankly. Sort of, yeah. You know?

Sort of, yeah. It's not bad looking. I've seen lampshades that are almost constructed exactly like this. It's like the lampshade looks like that. Fucking spot on. Excellent. Maybe you could put a little fairy light in it and dangle it. Ooh.

Project. Yeah. Make a little fairy light. I've got some fairy lights Ooh. Project. Yeah. Make a little fairy light dangle it. I've got some fairy lights in the House of Pickles. Well, let's see if we can do that at a later date.

Not now. Okay, fine. I wasn't going to say now. How much... Is it your turn to go first or mine? Oh. Ooh.

I don't know about this. It's a cyclone puzzle. Because it looks 90s or certainly early 2000s. This is a tough one. They say on the pack, just to... Sorry. They say it's difficult.

Yeah. Because it is. Because it's fiddly. It's dexterous, isn't it? I'm not going to take it apart and try it. Bollocks to that. I'm going to say £1.75 for that. Ooh, it's going higher.

A lot higher than the Bali cards. Because I think people just look at it as cards and they want to get rid of it. Whereas that, I think people think is a it as cards and they want to get rid of it whereas that I think people think is a classier product yeah yeah and so £1.75 is classy

in charity shop parlance is he going to go higher or lower I'm going to say two quid for that I think I'm going to say two quid

I'm going to say two quid for that Paul alright fair enough I nearly went with two quid myself but I thought I'd nip it in the bud well

now this one though this item I think is more for me. It's the kind of thing that tickles Paul Gannon's tonsils. How does it do that? By chugging itself into your mouth? You shove it in and you just go like that and you shake it. And then your tonsils get tickled? I mean, I don't have any tonsils actually. They got taken out.

When I was 14. You could still tickle them if you had them in a box somewhere. I could. Or you could do it remotely because you could have some kind of phone device next to your amputated tonsils. Anyway, guess what? I don't have them so it doesn't matter.

We can move on from this tonsil toy. You could have a little app on your phone, tickle tonsils and then across the world your tonsils would be tickled.

What I would have done is if I had my tonsils taken out, I would have kept them. Why do they call them tonsils? It's one thing,

isn't it? Tonsil. It's one dick shape. No, that's not the one you're thinking of. That's not your tonsils? It's one thing, isn't it? Tonsil. It's one dick shape. No, that's not the one you're thinking of. That's not your tonsil. That's the uvula or whatever it is you're thinking of.

It's your uvula. The tonsil at the side of your throat. Ah. Yeah. See? Uvula is what you're thinking of. Uvula. Uvula.

So show us what you fucking know about the inside of your gob. Right. What was I going to say? Shut up, you prick. Put me off. What are we talking about? I don't know.

Oh, no. I would get my tonsils and put it in one of those tomy water toys so i could just press the button and squirt it out and float around and put it in pat man's mouth you'd have to preserve them with some kind of rubberization project you'd have to well maybe just put like some kind of vinegar or something no a tomy water embalming tomy tons Tomy tonsil embalming game. Yeah. You've got to get the tonsils, press the button and squirt it into... Into some bloke's gob. Why would you squirt your own tonsils into someone else's mouth? Because they need their tonsils.

It makes much more sense to me to have a little bumhole that you can fire the tonsils in. Oh, we always return to the bumhole. We always return to the bumhole. It's a place where the toffee is born. A lovely brown loaf. It drops out your both. Both. It drops out my both, Paul.

Just stop. Eli, I am very sorry for that. I know. Next item is this. It's a games to go thing. So it's one of those big board games shrunk down to a little plastic travel size one. And this one's a Parker game called Payday. Have we played that before?

We haven't, and we could. Maybe not right now, but this is basically a board game where... Sorry, I'll just read what it says on the back of the box. It sounds to me, without knowing, like a Monopoly sort of variation type game. Ish. I haven't looked at this yet, actually. It's a nice little travel... Little plastic case.

Case, which is the board as well. It's these things these travel versions it's actually quite cheap when you open it up because i think see here the board game part is just this plastic uh plastic sheet sheet and then that is quite cheap on there and it's all been rumpled isn't it you need to iron that to get it to work yeah it's all crumpled up not really but it's not really lovingly one second because effectively i think it's just like you've got to go around around around around the ball but every time you keep making money there are days when it's like bills pay this rent pay that it's monopoly no but there's no investment or building of assets or mortgages and so it's basically make money lose money make money lose money so it's sort of a simplified

monopoly if that's even possible it's more like game of it's more like game of life I would argue so it says here where does all the money go play this classic game and you'll soon find out

journey through the calendar because the board game is made up to look like a kind of calendar they're all dates and fly through the calendar and see how far your salary stretches

play as many months as you want but be careful as your luck can be can change in any day you can face a mammoth bill or be celebrating a big lottery win all in the same week collect your pay at the end of every month and don't let it slip away take out loans invest deals do whatever it takes to manage your money the winner is to play with the most money or the least debt by the

end of the game now i've said this before board games built around financial securities always fucking bore the shit out also there's something sort of distasteful about it you know it's sort of fetches i don't know why it's almost like fetchesizing the the rat race the the grind of having to you know but to me this extends to things like it's like saying it's funny isn't it the way we all are wage slaves yeah you know isn't it funny that the daily, monthly grind... And you never have enough. You know? Yeah.

Except... Why would you... If you had a job, a day job, why would you want to play this? It just reminds you. But this is, again, this weird thing within gaming full stop. Monopoly.

A game about fucking managing properties and rent and getting a monopoly on something. Which was invented as an anti-landlord... Yeah. ...satirical game. Yeah. It was invented as an anti-landlord satirical game. It was meant to be a protest almost against landlordism or whatever. Yeah, and then you've got games like Payday. There have been other Monopoly-type spin-off games.

Even a game that I love, actually, called Go For Broke. Well, that's like... It's the opposite of this. That's like Brewster's Millions, isn't it? Yeah, it's like here's a mill. First person to lose a mill wins. And that is kind of fun. We played that. Very early days, yeah, a mill. First person to lose a mill wins. We played that. We played that.

Very early days. Yeah, we did. So I don't know about this. We haven't played it. We don't know. It might be more fun in practice. But right now it's like, do I really want to play a game where every step of the way

I'm reminded about my financial insecurities and problems? No, not really. It's like when people play The Sims on computers. Why would you come home from a day at work and then log on and play a game where you play a boring person in a flat who has a job and has to have relationships? It's just when people play The Sims on computers. They're like, why would you come home from a day at work and then log on and play a game where you play a boring person in a flat who has a job and has to have relationships? It's just weird to me. I don't think it's that.

I think it's the sort of voyeurism and the sort of being able to be God. Well, the God Sims stuff, isn't it? Yeah. Like, yeah, all those kind of like Sim City and stuff. Ah, but in Sims, you are God as well. All those games are kind of like you are God. You build a world. I think it's more about the control

than just sort of reliving the dreary reality. For me, it's like I want my board games and games to be as much escapism as possible from reality. I mean, I've been really enjoying Super Mario 3D World on my Switch Lite, and it's like being in control of a little cartoon. That's what I like about it. It's a bit of fun.

I don't want to play a game. I don't want to turn on my Switch and play Financial Management Diary Land 3D. Woo-hoo! You're in debt! I have to... It's a mortgage! You know? Yes.

Very good. Thank you. I'll have to... Who's going first with the price? Me. All right. This is the last item isn't it no no it's not

one more one of these is free oh yeah we'll get to that at the end I think what we should do is get through all of it and then stop

and then go through a price and pick one of ours to take out as a free good idea Paul so I'm going to say for this quid on the nose I'm desperate for betwings

I think I've lost both last games to you. Yeah, I don't know. It's all nebulous, mate. Pick a price quick. I'm saying quid on the nose because that often is one of the prices. You can choose the same price as me.

I'm going to say two quid. But it's unplayable. It's not unplayable. It's just whether you want to play it. No, look at the board. It's all crumpled. It won't sit still. You can't put anything on that. No, it's not a very good quality one. It's like unplayable. Whether you want to play it. No, look at the board. It's all crumpled. It won't sit still. You can't put anything on that.

No, it's not a very good quality one. It's like when they bring out Cluedo or Monopoly or whatever as more board games, Hasbro tend to do it with a little bit of more class. What was that one I got for you, which was a mini Cluedo, which was all like a moulded... But it looked like a suitcase, didn't it?

It was fucking great, that. Yeah. Okay, last item. You're right. Cheap, nasty nasty that last one okay item number five any of these might be zero alright think about it this way

just to go on that last that last thing a bit right think about it if you want a cheap dirt board game it's all there it's just made of lower quality bits

you'd buy that in WH Smith for the kids when you're on a long train journey wouldn't you yeah car journey train journey

plane whatever however why would you get them that to play? Why not get them fucking Game of Life? It's distasteful the way it's sort of,

yeah, it's weird. It's weird. Oh, isn't it terrible how we're all wage slaves and we all toil away and then we never have enough money? Let's make a fun board game

about the drudgery of life. Yeah. Right, here's the last one. You're going to love this one. London Architecture book. I opened it up in the middle and just out of nowhere, Trellis Tower. Where's that then?

Where's Trellis Tower? It's by Kilburn, isn't it? It's in Knitting Hell, is it? What did I say? Trellis? Trellick. Trellick Tower, yeah. Right, Trellick Tower, anyway.

Get it right, mate. Near Kilburn. It's not. It's in Notting Hill. Is it? Yes. Why do I see it when I go through Kilburn? Which is nearer to Kilburn than here. You have to go through Kilburn. It's not. It's in Notting Hill. Is it? Yes. Why do I see it when I go through Kilburn? Which is nearer to Kilburn than here.

You have to go through Kilburn to get there. Yeah. So not too far off. But it's not in Kilburn. Ah, fuck off. Anyway. You've got everything wrong. It's a book about fucking architecture.

Architecture. Yes, a lot of these buildings are... Architecture. Oh, this is quite good. Architecture. Architecture. Architecture. Architecture. Architecture. I was saying architecture. of these buildings i architecture oh this is quite good architecture architecture architecture architecture i would say architecture architecture texture hello i'm archie texture hello i'm

architecture paul can i have a character no not this week you've you've overdone yours i have not i have a every time we do a narrative episode it's like you talking for 75 minutes and i go i'm lady flaps and that's it i want well it's like you talking for 75 minutes and I go I'm Lady Flaps and that's it I want more characters well there's a lot coming up for Lady Flaps etc

Whitechapel Art Gallery oh yeah the wedding oh the wedding's happening in September yeah yeah have you been invited no one's said anything to me

I got an invite it's a plus one so you can come with me everyone's going to be there apparently why am I the plus one am I your plus one yeah well did you get an invite

no well then you're my plus one okay everyone's going to be there all the cheap show characters everyone it's going to be there, apparently. Why am I the plus one? Am I your plus one? Yeah. Or did you get an invite? No. Well, then you're my plus one. Okay. Everyone's going to be there. All the cheap show characters, everyone. It's going to be nice. This is quite a good reference book. A lot of buildings in here.

Arnest Grove Underground Station. Understandgation. Yeah, you're right. It's great. That's one of my favourite places. Your mouth. Get it right, Paul. Get it right.

Oh, zippy you bundle. Why do you do the actual... Zippy hands? I don't know. When you do my voice. I don't know. This is great. I just wish you were Zippy.

Rudolph Steiner House. Yeah. I went to a Steiner school. I know that building. I went to a Steiner school. I'm a special boy. What's this? Former Lex Garage.

Where's that? Come on, mate. Price me. Price it. Am I going first with this one? Yeah. Oh. Oh.

150. Haywood Gallery. That's also brutalist. Yeah. Nice. 150. 150, Iward Gallery, that's also brutalist. Yeah. Nice. 150. 150, I say for that. I'm going to say 125.

Well, then write that down and we can lock these prices in. Okay. 150, say aye. 125, say Eli. I say more. What did I say? 125. Okay.

It is now time for the prices to be revealed. But before we do, we have to pick one of our items off our prices that we have to take out as a free purchase. Which one of those was a free purchase? So what did we have? We had the giant playing cards. Jumbo cards, ballet card game, cyclone puzzle, payday travel game, London architecture book.

One of those was a free item. Who guesses first? Who guessed the price first? Last, me. So you can guess which one is free this time. I think that the payday... Payday is free. Yes, because I think it's been rendered unplayable

by the state of the board. And I think for that reason, they said, we'll just give it away. So I'm saying free item. I'm going to say the free item was the jumbo playing cards. That's what I'm going to say. So can you put a circle around that?

That would have been my second choice there. Yeah, because they're... All right. But I think I might get... Do I get Petwings? I get two Petwings. It doesn't say actually

what you get for a wild card. Because it'd be the exact... That'd be the same price, wouldn't it? That'd be the exact right price. Yeah, so two Petwings for getting the wild card. You know, we think

of who the logic is. No, I'm definitely on your board with this. I'm definitely on your way there. All right, I've noted our guesses for free items here on the pad. Okay, Eli.'ve noted our guesses for free items here. Right.

Okay, Eli, the first one, jumbo playing cards. I said free. I've changed that now to free. Yeah. Or I will say the price is not free. I want to get the betwings for that. You see what I'm saying? You don't get the betwings for that.

They haven't made this clear, have they? We haven't really thought about this full stop. I've said a price. However, if it's free, and I've said free, I'll get two betwings. However, if it isn't free and there's a price however if it's free and i've said free i'll get two betwings however if it isn't free there's a price if my price is spot on shouldn't i still get the between i mean i'm not i'm not it doesn't seem fair that doesn't seem fair because you've already committed to it being no money a free purchase as you say so if we i have started saying free purchase yeah see it's catching. Now, however, to mitigate that thought, I like betwings.

I like people getting them. I don't mind if it's me or you. They're fulfilling and nutritious. There's more chances with betwings. If we get it wrong on the free guess, we still get to have a guess with our original. How about this then? Because we've done the work. We've made the guess.

So we might as well get betwings. Get betwings either way. Yeah. I can't do an agreement. Okay. given we've done the work we've made the guess yeah we might as well get between things either way yeah so okay we're in agreement okay so i said free or what one pound 25 i wasn't trying to do a thought my leg muscles was aching and i was stretching my leg really yeah because i was getting it looks so much like you did i promise you okay because actually mate if i'm being honest if i let one go i might push through a little brown matter as well. So we're not going to do that today. Okay.

Prices, 150. What did you say? Just say them again. You said. Yeah. Free. But you said £1.25. That was your guess.

It's not free, yeah. And you said. 75p. For the giant playing cards. 50p. Ooh, I get a between. You do. Sweet, sweet between. Sweet, sweet between. I don a per twing. You do. Sweet, sweet per twing.

I don't know why you said £1.25. I don't know. Did I? Hang on, no. Didn't I say 75p? No, you did not, Paul. No, you didn't. Don't pay attention to me. Well, look, if you listen back whilst you're editing and you find that, I'll accept it.

It's too late in the day. I have one per twing. Ooh, I'm liking this now all right feels like i'm so one between for eli next item is the what barley card game what did you say barley card game and for that i said one pound 50 paul i think it's in that range okay and i said 90p okay so that's where i think it went uh the price was 50p oh So no betwings either or. Zero betwings there. Cheap, cheap, cheap. Cyclone Puzzle.

You said £1.75. Yeah. And I went for two. Two on the nose for me there. £1. Ooh. Ooh, indeed. Ooh.

I'm going to... It looks like I'm going to get a big win. I bet that's the free item now that that's not. Payday Travel Game. What did you say? You said a big win. I bet that's the free item now that that's not. Payday travel game. What did you say? You said two. Yeah. I said three.

It was free. Yes! So that's two for Twins Real Life. I'm on three for Twins Up. You're doing well. Maybe. And I'm donutting the bitch to hell. You are.

London Architecture book. You said £1.50. Yeah. And I said £1.25. Can you retrieve a per twing? No, but you can. It was one quid. Bang!

4-3-0 for Paul. Woo! I'm back in the game, baby. Well done, Mr Silverman. Thank you. I'm going to give you now four petwings. Petwing. Petwing.

Petwing. Petwing. Thank you very much. I hope you enjoy them. Good items, Karen and Adam. Nice shite. What was your favourite item, you think? Can I say none of them?

Yes, you can. None of them? You can say that, but no one likes you when you say things like that. A payday is not a board game that's ever enticed me into its world. And it was free because of those reasons. So good logic wins. You think that was the reason it was free? She doesn't say. Logic wins. She doesn't actually say why it was free. It those reasons. So good logic wins. You think that was the reason it was free? She doesn't say.

Logic wins. She doesn't actually say why it was free. It must be because it's damaged. That's where you get a discount in this game. Maybe. Either way, well done, Karen. Well done, you. Well done, Adam.

Karen and Adam. Adam and Karen. And Adam. I don't like the fact that they've got too many ah sound vowels in their name. It puts me off. They can't make choices like that. They should not be together.

Find someone else to be with who doesn't share a vowel-sounding name. Or can me off. They can't make choices like that. They should not be together. Find someone else to be with who doesn't share a vowel-sounding name. Or can Adam change his name to Scott? What is a non-vowel-sounding... Karen and Scott. Karen and Scott is great. Karen and Adam is... I can't even say it.

Karen and Adam. It's just an effort. You've really been off the boil this week, Paul. No, that's not true. I know I say that a lot, but God. It's not true. That's not true. I've been off the boil for about seven years.

Yes, thank you. Oh, well, that's nice. A little win for me. An update, everyone. I've been off the ball for about seven years. Yes, thank you. Oh, well, that's nice. A little win for me. An update, everyone. I did do a fart in the end and I'm choking on it. So we're going to wrap this up. Don't make me look for it, man.

Mate, I'm not going to push it your way. I'm trying to keep the breeze going this direction. All I will say is it's slightly chocolatey which I don't quite understand. I don't know how you do a chocolatey boff. You know how you do a chocolatey boff.

You know how you do a chocolatey boff? What? You scoff a lot of chocolate off. Chocolatey boff, chocolatey boff. Chocolatey boff, chocolatey boff. I've scoffed a chocolate off, but I've done a chocolatey boff. Chocolatey boff.

Shut up. Well, that's it Paul we're at the end of another episode for another week thank you so much for listening and supporting

Cheap Show everybody if you need to contact us send us stuff or look at things pictures and stuff anything it's your one-stop shop for

all things Cheap Show is cheapshow.com no it's not cheapshow.com the cheaps not cheap show.com i did the cheap show.co.uk eight fucking years just take that again your one-stop shop is cheap show.show. yeah fuck me seriously i give you the one moment to just pretend you're somewhat fucking semi-professional. I did sound alright up till then. Everything you want, links

to social media, our webpages for dedicated pages for each episode with pictures and sometimes videos, links to this, that and all the others, thecheapshow.co.uk. Chocolatybuff.coff. Have you... What? I can't fucking believe this. What? Have you not

seen this? Have you not seen this? Seen what? Have I not seen what? Someone just sent me a fucking link on Twitter. Or X. What? Thrift Pod. Have you heard of this? What?

Listen to this. What? Every week, Saul and Levi go through the charity shops and look for the best in the worst. What? With a strange cast of characters and produced by Brandovsky Podcasts, FriffPod is a unique and original comedy idea mixing surrealism and scatology

as they investigate charity shops around the world. What the fuck? Who's this? It's just probably some kind of AI rip-off thing. No, no, no, it's good. It's been mentioned in Podbible. It's been fucking mentioned, Apple, new and upcoming. How many episodes are there?

Spotify have put up as new. Two or three, not that many. With Arthur Point as guest. What? And what's all these fucking characters? Can't come, John.

Don McNubbin. Yeah, they're all there. It's literally a knock-off of Cheap Show. But they're fucking getting all the... You can't do that. But they're getting

all the fucking attention. Guardian's giving them a review. The Times says, a vulgar but fun weekly exercise. More like this, please.

I can't believe it. We never got a Times review. No, we've never had that. We've always been fucking ignored. Available on all

good podcasts, charting in the top 50 in the UK right now. There's Thirsty Phil in it as well. Yeah, he was on last week, Thirsty Phil.

Fuck's sake. And his fizzy pop brigade. Oh. Mate, we're going to have to check this fucking out. When did this start? Yeah, only two weeks ago. Well, we can't tell Brandoff and fucking Jimmy Biscuits about this now. They're all fucking in the wind because of what happened at Red Knob Day.

I think they just went back to the... Roundabout. Yeah. I think they're all in the fucking roundabout. They've built, they've extended that roundabout vertically. And they've built a big fence around it as well.

Yeah, with like barbed wire. You can't get in there anymore. I can't get in. Well, I don't know what to do now. Well, let's just... That's really bummed me out. Well, we just have to

distinguish ourselves. They're doing better than us. What's their Patreon? You can't see how much their Patreon is, can you? No, it doesn't have Patreon, but they are funded by Brandovsky Industries.

They've got advertising from, like, Lego. I don't understand. And they've got advertising from Coke. Casper Mattresses are doing adverts for that. Tenor Men. Yeah, Tenor Men. We never got any of that money. What are we going to do?

Mate, this could be a fucking problem for us if they end up taking our space. We've got the wedding. Maybe we just hype the wedding. You know, people love weddings. Yeah, people love a wedding. We'll hype the wedding. Maybe we just hype the wedding. You know, people love weddings. Yeah, people love a wedding. We'll hype the wedding. But I'm not going to tell Brandoff about this

because he'll go fucking mad. You have to invite him to the wedding. Right, well, fucking bollocks then. Bollocks. There's no... Thrift Show can suck a chode. Suck it. Suck it down.

They can suck my tube of fucking sphincters. Pringles. Tude of Pringles. Chub of Pringles. Tude of Pringles. Chub of Pringles. Tudor Pringles. I know, I'm Tudor Pringles. And I am

Chodney Hoffboff. We'll see. I'm Chocolaty Boffhole. I'm Chocolaty Boff. Oh, I've got scuffy marks on my boffhole. That's right,

Eli. Let's keep the old gold going and that's what gets us all these good reviews. on my choffy hole. Chuff, chuff,

chuff. This is it for Cheap Show, mate. We're done for unless we can figure out a plan for all this. No, I think we just, we rebrand. We can't rebrand.

Eli's Mouth Madness Hour. We'll just call this podcast, I don't know, Dublier. Dublier? Yeah. Double Dish, Double Dish, Dub, Dub, Dub. You know what? We won't call it that. We're going to just move.

Let's call it Double Dish Boys. No, we're not going to call our podcast the Double Dish Dish Boys. That's even better. Double Dish Dish Boys. No, Double Dish Dish Boys. That's even better. Double Dush Dush Boys. No, Double Dush Dush Boys sounds more like an up your situation. Don't be uncouth. Listen to Double Dush. Don't be uncouth.

Come into my booth. Hello. I've bunked up your booth. Let's work this shop. Let's workshop this. You know what? This is all over. This is the worst episode we've ever done.

No, we can't say that anymore. We're not allowed to say that anymore. I think it is, though. It's mostly maybe our most mediocre, but sometimes they can all be gold. I've just been unwell the whole way through the episode, slightly damp and just underperforming. And let's all just remember that I completely slap-pulled down

with four clear-per-twings in the lead, and he got the donut. The donut which he can stick his finger into. Yeah, double-douche your donut. The flesh donut. I'm going to double-douche your donut. Double-dou he got the donut. The donut which he can stick his finger into. Yeah, double douche your donut. The flesh donut. I'm going to double douche your donut.

Double douche my flesh donut. Double douche my flesh donut and it's pink and it's pink and it's brown and it's round. It's a double douche donut. You almost got it.

Almost got it. Double douche. Double douche. Oh, double douche. We're done now here. We're done now here. Say goodbye. Dunk your dish

in my double douche donut. Bye everyone. Bye bye. We're done now here. Say goodbye. Dunk your dish in my double dash. Bye everyone. Bye everyone. Bye bye. Bye everyone though, really.