CheapShow - Ep 354: The Winkie Strikes Back

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

Just when you weren’t expecting it… BAM… More Winkie news! It’s been a few years since our epic documentary “Ep 181: Winkie: The Untold Story” and we were recently informed of not one, but TWO developments to what we already know! Thanks to the incredible work of Ivenne, and the translations skills of Markus Lindstrom, we have something a little special this week. There’s a recently discovered video on YouTube (see the video on the accompanying webpage for this episode) that contains footage from a French TV series, recorded in 1985, that shows the infamous Winkie billboard competition in action. However, with it being in French, Paul has had a clever idea… and it’s going to involve calling on some of the CheapShow family to help out! And yet there is even more new Winkie news than that! To top things off, Eli has more platters to share, one of which may be the rarest record they’ve ever discovered. But just because it’s rare, doesn’t mean it’s going to be any good. It’s a surprisingly packed episode, it even comes with a Singing Postman! With MASSIVE thanks to Ivenne Mecking, Markus Lindstrom, Stuart Ashen, John Rain, Sooz Kempner, Paul Putner, Brian Wecht, Octavious King and Ethan Lawrence CheapShow Theme by @noiselund See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-354-the-winkie-strikes-back To Hear The Origin of Winkie: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-181-winkie-the-untold-story And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter (we’re not calling it X) @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid With thanks to @soozuk @EthanDLawrence @ashens @Octav1usKing @ItsJohnRain @bwecht & @RealPaulPutner @Ivenne_NL @MarkpageBxl Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow NEW ART: Get hold of Spunk.Rock’s exclusive new CheapShow Artwork: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/CHEAPSHOW-EST-2016-by-spunkrock/115961855.WFLAH.XYZ www.instagram.com/spunk__rock Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Well, Paul, do you know what I've been looking forward to? Oh, yeah, here we go. Boom, boom, right out the gate. Successful intro. I'll just let Eli do this again. And places, everybody. One, two, three, and action. Do you know what I've been looking forward to all week, Paul, since last week?

Is it getting that sentence right? It is this, the joy of this cold open, the warmth, the playful warmth, and atmosphere of creative viva la life. And that's this week's cold open out the way, I guess. Oh, fuck you. Is that really what you planned? I had nothing planned. You said to me.

I have a story I'd like to tell about my trip. And you said do it after the fucking cold open. All right. So this is the cold open. And it's an absolute shambles. A living shambles. Who sold that then? Mine.

It's mine. Because I was pissed up two days. It's three days. I feel like shit, man. You disgusting little bloblet. I'm tired of you. I'm not. I love you.

I miss you. When you're not around, I'm thinking, where's Eli? I know, Paul. What's he doing i know but when you go away when you go away to see your other friends in different parts of the country i get jealous eli i want to know why i don't want to hang out with me i do i hang out with you a lot paul i only want to see you on a monday fuck that's not true we often have another day professional friendship for the sake of this podcast i don't need you this is these are the words i and yeah i can't leave you i can't pull myself away from your gravity eli your gravity i know me in do you know where the most dense part of me is yeah

yeah i do which is what it's it is it's no it's your perineum. There is a black hole where your perineum is. A dense void taking all. Taking all in. Absorbing all. Bending time-space around your nuts. Wasn't that a song by Muse? Black Hole Perineum. Yeah, Black Hole. It was a good hit, that one.

How did it go? A bow. Wow, my bow. Wow, bow. Bow, wow, my bow. Wow, bow. Wow, my bow. Wow, bow.

Wow, my bow. Wow. This is Muse, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. This is Muse, that band Muse, yeah? Yeah, and you know what's great? I found that amusing. It's not, though. No, it's press the button then. All right. You can't say that now.

Now it says it in the credits. I feel sweaty. I feel sweaty and unclean. Oh, mate, we had a good out there when we both laughed at my amusing gag, which was amusing in itself. How dare you? I laugh because it's like... That kind of laugh.

You know? Really close to, like, weeping. Like that. Shall I now go to the credits? Is that where you want to end? Just let me get another one of those in. Go on. Oh, dear. I don't know why, but another one of those in. Go on. Oh dear.

I don't know why, but I have a huge big chub on now as well. You always get a chub on! You always get a chub on, mate. Always with the chub. That's the fucking credits. All gathered. Off-Round-Round-Off, Off-Round-Round-Off Paul Gannon, Eli Silverman Welcome to the Chief Show

Sources and words and phrases Two things I'm responsible for Chodney, Chodney Borough I hate you. You've got to be a little posse. It's the Price of Shine. Welcome to Cheap Show Hello everybody, it's Cheap Show Time

My name is Paul, yes that's mine But what's his name, I'll let you guess It's Eli J Silverman, the top of the best I won't put my name to something that is so poor. That'll be remixed by Noiseland tomorrow. You said, what's his name? I'll let you guess. And then you said my name.

You didn't let anyone guess. No. It doesn't make sense. It was rhetorical. Music can be rhetorical. Let me try a version. All right, go on. Hey, everybody.

It's cheap show time. It's that little old show that's always a whole fan I'm Eli Silverman, who's that over there? I won't let you guess, cos I'll tell you in your ear It's Paul Gannon You say you didn't get that in, cos now it doesn't scan You let the Paul Gannon drop off It was better than yours

It's not, I'll do it again Hey everybody, it's cheap show time It's the time of the week where it's yours and mine My name is Paul Gannon, that's Silverman It's Cheap Show time. It's the time of the week where it's yours and mine. Oh, yeah. My name is Paul Gannon. That's Silver Moon. Eli J, what you say? Come on and come right in.

Yeah. Is that all right? It was okay. See you next week on Cheap Show, everyone. That's enough. We've peaked. What do we have coming up on the show, Paul? Oh, well, it's a big Winky Update episode this week.

And at the end, a bit of platter for you. We'll get there when we get there. A little bit of platter, but I was in Bristol, Paul. This is where I'm just going to say, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to sit back now because it's Eli's story time. One of his travelogue adventures. Let's see where Eli got to this week. I was in Bristol, Paul.

Boo. Don't fucking do this to me, right? I just wanted, it's not a travelogue. I just wanted to mention Boo Something that annoyed me That which It's what I do

It's the thing you know I hate woke comedy It isn't woke Go on Bristol I went to Bristol To see my friend The director Ben Steiner

And also I really wanted to see This spot in Bristol Oh dear Which is called Cumberland Basin I'll give Which is called Cumberland Basin. I'll give you a Cumberland Basin. Oh, will you?

A Cumberland Basin. A Cumberland Basin. No, wait. A Cumberland Pastin. Oh, give my Cumberland a pastin. So there you are. You're at the cum bell end pasting which is a spot

yeah it is big gushy wet one opaque I'm glad you're enjoying this because honestly this is the best story

we'll see you next week I feel like I feel like literally no one else is enjoying it cum bell end of pasting I don't come on no I won't... Come on!

No. I won't come on. It's an excellent gag. No, it's not. It's my best. It barely is a gag. It's my best. You've just replaced the syllables of a word with knob and spunk words.

We can all do that. It's great, isn't it? Why can't we just sit here for an hour and go, come spunk. It's so good. Come over here and, you know, spunk to me jazz teeth when you get cum in your mouth i've got jazz teeth i think paul i am on fire i think we do need to apologize to everyone and say we are quite tired and emotional today. I just wanted to say something about... I just wanted to mention

the Cumberland Basin, Paul. This episode is a cry for help. If you're concerned by what you're hearing, please reach out. That's a joke you've literally been doing for your whole comedy. Yeah, it's good. It's accurate. That is a joke that has been with us since before we started doing this show. Help us.

Stop. Hammer time. I was going to say, in the name of love. In the name of love. In the name of love. So I got the coach down. Cumberland Basin, by the way, just briefly, is two flyovers. And they did some civic planning and put a playground in in the 70s

when they built these flyovers. But it got into disrepair very quickly. And now it is a lovely sort of mix of, if they put a little skate park in there and it's very sort of derelict in places, two words, vernacular brutalism. Faded vernacular brutalism. And it's great.

There's this sort of psychogeographic sort of YouTuber I follow about Bristol it's called Pedestrian Diversions get to the coach stuff who made me aware of this spot

and we've got lovely lovely spot so I went to see that Paul but I got the coach down to Bristol

because the coach was 20 quid right but the train is 70 or more yeah it's absolute disgusting that's terrible isn't it

yeah it's disgusting terrible but I don't, isn't it? Yeah, it's disgusting. Terrible. But I really don't like coaches. I've had bad things with coaches. Yeah. I would prefer not to get the coach. Understandable. But 50 quid more, you know?

You may as well just take the hit, bite the bullet. Anyway, so I got a coach ticket in advance. Yeah. Came to 20 quid, and I thought, oh, I want to be by the window. I've really done it.

Is that return? Yeah. Yeah, and did you buy an extra couple of quid to get a chosen seat oh reserved yes i reserved for two quid more may as well look at me mr big potatoes bourgeoisie flying eye business class because you know yeah because it's so cheap it's only another two quid yeah may as well i'll tell you one thing they do not honor your the fact that you've reserved a seat. You have to fight for your reserved seat. Do you? Yeah. Why?

The driver doesn't give a shit, man. Maybe you're one then. Because every time I've done it, I've had like, yeah, there you go. Make your seats there. You know what I mean? No, they weren't like this. But this was National Express. Yeah, I had National Express.

Anyway. I'm just saying, yours experience is seemingly very different from mine. But go on. I had a bad experience in terms of that, the reserved thing. Anyhow. So what, someone was sitting in your seat and you had to go, yeah, excuse me of that the reserve thing anyhow so what someone was sitting in your seat you had to go yeah on the way down

someone was sitting in my seat yeah and you had to go sorry mate I reserve this seat yeah and they said what they were fine with it

it was two young ladies they just got up and went to another seat that was fine and they were you know the driver was of no help the driver just pointed

and said it's that one there and expected me to go and move you know what I mean that's not a great service no anyhow but on the way down to Bristol I got my reserve seat yes i asked them to move established it was all lovely nice

quiet yeah calmly you know they they have to breathe into the breathalyzer to start the engine now what the drivers yeah i saw never seen maybe that was just for that one fucking driver brian you can have your job back but you've just got to blow into this pipe otherwise the truck won't start no it was literally one of those devices I can hear it beeping

and it's like it unlocks something so once you're clear you can start the coach that's very true I mean that's one of those things where that's good

yeah that's very good that could save your fucking life just like that but fundamentally the issue is you shouldn't need

to have one of those in a coach anyway it's the coach the coach industry. There's been enough cases of that happening for them to allegedly warrant doing this. Well, you think about it. Think about the insurance and how when coaches, they very rarely crash. But there's lots of death when they do.

It's horrible. Anyhow, that was the side point. But on the way down, it was a comfy seat. Great. No one was, it wasn't too busy. And I thought, oh, it's okay. Coaching. On the way back, it was at eight at night. I got on the way down it was you know very comfy seat great no one was it wasn't too busy and I thought oh it's okay coaching on the way back

it was at 8 at night I got on the way back that was on Saturday afternoon I got that first coach from Bristol to Bristol at 3 in the afternoon oh right okay

from Victoria coming back though was a night time one yes at 8 the bus departed Bristol at 8 no safety announcement I go up to him

he goes yeah can you get into that coach for me and the coach is already really packed there's a woman sitting in my reserved seat

it's like late night and everyone's got this kind of vibe and I'm just like I'm not going to bother I'm going to find another seat I'm not going to

do this whole rigmarole with her because I couldn't be bothered so I ended up with the one just in front of the toilet

but the window it was fine in the end and then I sit down and there was no announcement safety anything just elect what they do is they try and fill the previous bus But the window, it was fine in the end. Okay. And then I sit down and there was no announcement, safety, anything. Just elect. Shut off. What they do is they try and fill the previous bus or they do all this shenanigans.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Which is like, this is not, I didn't get my service that I paid for anyway. Or you could argue for 20 quid. The bus sets off. I'm like, oh, this is going to be cool. I can just look out the window, maybe get some sleep. And I can hear, like, it sounds like someone's playing music on their phone somewhere.

Yeah. Okay. And I'm like, oh no, they can't be yeah and then it's it is and i'm like that's fucking annoying but i'm just don't want to get up and go who's playing music or you know because i didn't know who it was basically we wrapped the story up all month and it was that terrible just terrible one terrible hit from the last 15 years after another like that one slap that remember by soldier boy i don't give slap that slap that you Like that one, Slap That. Remember by Soulja Boy? I don't give a... Slap that. It's all that then. Slap that.

You remember that one? Yeah, but I would have just been like, tell the driver to turn that fucking music off. Look, I was just really... I was once bollocked on a coach because my headphones were too loud. I got this passive-aggressive mention from the coach driver about,

think of other people, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was like, but there's a cunt playing a fucking load of shitty music out of his phone. Were they really? There was someone playing it out of their phone? No, no, blah, blah. I was like, but there's a cunt playing a fucking load of shitty music out of his phone. Were they really? There was someone playing it out of their phone? No, no, no, I'm saying in your instance. Listen to the end of the story, okay?

No, I won't. Paul, please. All right, go on. Okay, so I'm there the whole time, and every time a song ends, I think, oh, there's a moment just before the next one comes in where I think, ah, perhaps they've stopped, perhaps they've seen sense. Yeah. This rude fucking person.

And I'm sitting there thinking, God, they should fucking put them in jail for doing this shit. I hate it so much. You know, the noise pollution. It's so selfish and ignorant. It's so selfish. Yeah.

And horrible. And awful. And it's like the thing, everyone's going to like my taste of music. Yeah. And step up if you don't. I just, I really, it really gets to me.

And it seems like a battle that we have lost. Yeah. Because you can't stop it. There's fucking everyone on their bus just listening out loud to their TikToks. They're fucking five to ten seconds of noise. Also, why do people have to shout when they're having a conversation? Mate, it's just the whole, we're old and people our age don't know how to respect technology. Anyhow, so I'm listening because of what I guess who I am.

I'm very, you know, I always try and guess what the song is or I'm involved.'m involved i can't help but listen to music you become mr shazam you know but you know just because who i am i can't ignore it i find it hard to ignore music you don't have headphones yourself i didn't because i haven't got the an adapter thing i need to get some bluetooth anyway and i was like why didn't i fucking get some headphones for this trip but anyway anyhow so the whole time the music's going and it's just like it's a three hour thing and I'm just like this is fucking annoying

so I play some Switch and stuff and you don't you know distract myself and it was annoying me the best song that came on was like this

Dirty Rascal and then stop stop doing that people want to hear me talk yeah but it's going on now we're past ten minutes anyway has this got a good. Yeah, but it's going on now. We're past 10 minutes. Anyway.

Has this got a good ending? Yes. Right. And it's coming right now. Good. So, don't look at me like that. I'm not going to finish if you look at me like that. I've heard you say that before.

Thank you. Now, so we get in to Victoria. The music's still going. And I'm really seething because it's just like oh this is that would have been nice you know that journey but now i'm sort of annoyed yeah wound up and so i'm looking at all these people because i still haven't been able to see who it's been i'm looking at all these people as they get off and i'm like was it him like who's it that cunt yeah who is it who is it and then i'm literally the last off because i'm sort of like

trying to look and everyone's off the bus and the music's still going. And I realised it's the fucking speaker on the intercom on the whole bus. The driver is just playing music through the intercom. What a fucking cunt. Do you know what I mean? What a cunt. National Express, fuck you. That was terrible service.

And no one said anything, you know? Now, that's the other problem, isn't it? No one says anything. But I couldn't even conceive that that would be it, that it would be playing over the intercom. There we go. In 10 minutes, Eli. For that whole coach.

In 10 minutes, Eli, you have literally transformed this podcast into grumpy old men complain. But honestly... Any youthful edge to appeal to the younger audiences is gone. Don't you think that's annoying and surprising that it was on the actual tannoy in the bus?

As someone who, you know, respects the youth of today, I'm going to say no, it's quite good that we have this. Why was it good? It's just it, isn't it? It's not that youth don't have nothing to do with it. It's just I don't want to be seen with you like an old man. I've got vitality. I'm still edgy.

I still got it. Still got it. Still got it. Still got it. You do. Paul, you still got it, mate. I still got it. No, you do still got it. You do still got it. I do. Paul, you've still got it, mate. I've still got it. No, you do still got it.

You do still got it. I do. Right. Thanks for listening, though, Paul, and appreciating that. Right, we're all talking about Winky now. Shut up. Winky time. Eli, we thought we'd seen it all.

We'd heard it all when it comes to Winky. We didn't think that. I thought that. You didn't. I did. No, you specifically... we'd heard it all when it comes to Winky we didn't think that I thought that you didn't I did no you shut up you specifically shut up you stupid

little Phil Collins looking prick Phil Collins looking prick yeah you look like Phil Collins today that's good thanks mate

do doos do doos do doos do doos look you've ruined it listen I'm not ruining it don't use fucking terrible words to explain what you mean you always go

what shall I say instead of looking for looking for the actual words that would explain it. All I was trying to do was build up a picture. I know, but it was a false thing. Yeah, but that was the point I was going to make. I was wrong thinking that. But you didn't think that. You interrupted me before I got to the point.

Because you were going down a path and shit. No, no, no. You interrupt like you always do when you think you know where things are going. Paul, let me reformulate. I do know where it's going, Paul. Let me just reformulate. Already a minute's wasted now because you can't just fucking give me 30 seconds. I'll reformulate what you said and we can go again.

No, I don't want you to. I want you out. Get out. I'm not going anywhere. Get out. Whether you like it or not, I'm here on this winky journey with you, Paul. You said that before as well. Shut up.

Now, it wasn't that we thought we'd exhausted the supply of winky stuff. You used to say to me, wow, I know there's stuff, there's info out there waiting to be found. And now, ladies and gentlemen, some of that undiscovered winky stuff has been found.

Paul, over to you. So, in a nutshell, like everything with this story... Why is it in a nutshell? Sorry, go ahead. The next time you interrupt me like that for a pointless correction, I will punch you so hard in the gooch,

you'll be using it as your Adam's apple. I'll be using me gooch as me Adam's apple. Clap. Clap. Using your gooch as your Adam's apple. Weeping great musical episode. Moving on. So, as ever ever with Winky,

it seems like our major supply of information has always been Event. Event has this godlike ability to kind of find that stuff out there and throw it our way. In the background of the past few months, Event's been sending me articles or the newspaper clippings

with other names of people who are on that billboard. Names I'm looking into. When we go to LA, we're going to have a chat about winky wower out there as well we've also got what we've got here today two major pieces that i thought we'd bash together the second one of which very interesting what do you want to say two major pieces that we bash together i've heard you say that before yes fair play bash my major piece no paul be a forearm i wanted to say perhaps there are people who are listening who aren't aware of the winky uh thing um so when you say the billboard that might be confusing why don't you just recap what the billboard was if you

don't know what we're talking about go to episode 181 it's called winky the untold story and it's the history up until then whenever it was uh like four years ago, of what we knew about Winky. A toy badge that led to a really, really weird marketing campaign. A kind of stunt type thing to win a prize. Which was basically stay on a billboard in LA for as long as possible. Last person standing wins. A survival competition. The whole story's convoluted and weird and slightly contradictory at times,

but 181 does our best to cover it all. However, since then, we've had other bits, like other names that have come up from people who are on the billboard that we didn't know before, a few other little clips and things. However, so this first one, I want to get out of the way so we can get to the meaty, meaty second one. This is a bit minor, yes. This is kind of minor, but it's also interesting.

So on Twitter, and I can't remember who this was right now, so I do apologize, someone pointed out, and then event quickly pointed out that there was an ebay auction and this ebay auction was something to do with winky and i clicked on it and it was interesting but it wasn't as if it was like oh quick it was an auction for some photographs and a charity newsletter which talks about Winky. The backstory to this is I reached out to the person on eBay and I said, can you tell us a little bit more? For various reasons, we're doing a podcast and we've copied the Winky before. I'd just be fascinated.

Can you send me like a photocopy of the stuff? We don't need the physical things. The lady got back to me and said, you can have them if you want them. And I said, no, make your money. It's your auction, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so this is the person who was auctioning that you're in contact now with on eBay. And what was the sort of

buying price that they had it up for? Well, it was like $30 or something, not including delivery, which is also a bit more costly on eBay these days because of... If it's in the States, it's incredible. It's incredibly costly. Do you know what the reason? Yeah, well... Brexit. Yeah. Everything shit in this country ends with a sentence, because of Brexit.

So I said to them, no, sell it. Make your money. That's fine. I would just like some photocopies. Then she gets back to me and says, oh, actually, someone's just bought it. And I was like, oh, well, fair enough. Send me the photocopy.

So she did. And she said, you know, she was happy to. It was then I found that Yven had bought it. Yven was the mystery buyer. Was the mystery buyer and I reached out to Yven and said we were that far

from getting it for free so I Never mind. I paid Yven back. Oh so you've actually covered it. Cheap Show covers it. So Yven sent this on

and what it is is a little photo lab sleeve with some photographs in it. That's a lovely old sleeve isn't it? Yes and I'll let you describe it.

It's the type of sleeve you'd get in a in a Snappy Snaps or something old sleeve, isn't it? Yes, and I'll let you describe it. It's the type of sleeve you'd get in a snappy snaps or something of that ilk, isn't it? Before you get to those pictures just describe what you're seeing because it's only tangentially winky based. So it's a photo lab in blue and red on a white envelope prints and negatives it says. Yeah, leave it for a second

I just want to get to this. It came with this it came with a printout from February 1988 and it's from the San Francisco International Toy Museum at the Cannery San Francisco. And it's what you think it is. It's a place that is a toy museum. And it also raised a lot of money for charity. This newsletter went out to all the people who are patrons of the charity, of the toy museum.

And they would get an update of what's been going on. Yeah, the first part of this newsletter is what concerns us. It says, computer chip toy to the new San Francisco International Toy Museum to help them out and the Child Abuse Prevention Society and help them raise much needed funds. He also donated to the museum a 12-foot pewter knight being called a tribute to Stéphane, the game of chess. Cool. There's no photo of that. There is no photo of the... The pewter knight.

The 12-foot pewter knight, which sounds like a wizard of oz character that sounds like something he had in his mansion and was like get rid of the fucking knight we'll give it to this uh it's also 88 a good generous that's what i was gonna ask later right and he has i've got on you know where the actual toy was launched in the states 84 okay so yeah it's four years later so would it be right into sort of thinking, essentially, Winky has failed as a product. Yes. So he's got...

A storage cupboard with 100,000 Winkies that he went, I'm not selling these, so I'm going to flog them. He didn't flog them. No, I'm going to give them to a charity. Yeah. And what the charity then did was when they had like yard sales or whatever,

you know, fundraisers, they would sell these badges for like nothing. And that's what the photographs are. You can see a table of someone. Shall I start looking at these photos? There's no Winky in it. There's no Dr. Winky in there, I don't think. It's just a bunch of pictures of a charity fundraiser.

This first one has a woman in a green suit. What do you call a suit with a two-piece? Pant suit. No, it's a skirt. She's wearing a skirt, a long skirt. She's wearing, this is way too much detail. They match. A womanuit. No, it's a skirt. She's wearing a skirt, a long skirt. She's wearing... This is way too much detail. They match.

A woman dressed in green, you could just say. A woman dressed in green and standing in front of two video monitors in what looks like a sort of university classroom of some sort.

Yeah. With a lot of people who look quite old and white sitting around on fold-up chairs looking at her. Sounds great.

I don't know who that is. We don't know what that is. There's no context for these photographs. It's probably toy museum-based, though. Very 80s-looking. So we're giving at her sounds great i don't know who that is we don't know what there's no context for these photographs probably toy museum based though so we're giving a talk about i don't know stickle bricks and this next one has much more of a sort of conference look with desks out in a lot very large room look it looks like a car park or something doesn't it the way those uh lights lights seem to be stretching into the you know infinity yeah maybe that's exactly what it is it was like a kind of car boot sale in an underground thing.

I don't know, maybe. It has a real car park look. Almost a Blade Runner-y look. Yeah. It's quite a cool photo. And it has this guy with his back to us sitting and attending one of the desks who has a Toy Museum T-shirt on.

Yeah. And he looks quite hippie as he's got a bandana. Yeah. Looks very LA. Not LA, California. Yeah. And there's a woman with an Apple T-shirt. Did you notice that? I did notice that as well. she's got a bandana yeah looks very LA not LA California yeah and there's a woman with an Apple t-shirt

did you notice that I did notice that as well we will scan not scan we will put these pictures up on our website I'll take pictures of the pictures

which won't be great but they'll do so Apple was just forming then wasn't it well 88 it was already big 88 yeah well people had

their Apple computers at home at that point yeah Macintoshes and stuff and the next photo is in the same sort of car park-y space that's been dressed for this occasion. Again, no Winkies.

There's a sign on the table, which I think says Winky $5 or something. You can buy them by the box. They're really trying to wholesale the fuckers out there. Really are. But then I wonder if someone bought these at that thing, put it in storage, and then they're the ones that ended up on eBay.

I'd like to think that whatever's on that table ended up on eBay, which is now in my house. Could be. You don't know the journey of these individual badges. But you know what I find from this story surprising is that there's not more Winkies in the world or just in charity shops. As we'll find out in the next segment, they were meant to be sold in Europe. And that, I mean, we don't know what happened there. They didn't come to Europe. They did.

Yeah, they did, didn't they? Because they were in... Because the French... Currys or whatever. No, some guy in France, didn't he? Bought a load. And that's how the song got made. But we think we found the missing link between LA and France with the next segment.

Okay. Well, I'll quickly finish this bit then, Paul, because that is exciting. The next photo is a smaller format. I've heard that before as well. I've heard that before. Which has a middle-aged man flanked on either side by middle-aged women they're all white don't know who those are they all have jeans on apart from the lady on the right has a waistcoat and chinos yes white chinos it's

very much an 80s photograph extremely 80s um that's it mate that's it it's interesting isn't it it's a little bit more of the story where we now know that at some point in 88, Dr. Winky was like, oh, I need to fucking shift these. Let's make it an altruistic gesture. Yes. And the pewter knight sounds like another one of those items, doesn't it? Yeah.

I can imagine having the pewter knight sort of on the landing in his McMansion thing, you know? And it's like up there and he's sick of looking at the fucking knight. Oh, you know what? I need to correct myself because I said it was called

A Tribute to Stéphane, but it's not. The way the letter's formatted, it's weird. So it should be called A Tribute to the Game of. Oh, you know what? I need to correct myself because I said it was called A Tribute to Stevan, but it's not. The way the letter's formatted, it's weird. So it should be called A Tribute to the Game of Chess, which makes more sense. So maybe it's a giant chess piece night.

Of course, yeah. As opposed to a spooky kind of haunted mansion-esque night. Yeah, which is what I was kind of thinking. But pewter. A big 12-foot. That's a big hunk of metal, isn't it? That is a murder weapon

in a Murder, She Wrote episode waiting to happen. Yes. And at the end, Jessica Fletcher catches the mirror and goes, Checkmate! And then it freezes when I've gone laughing. Wouldn't it be great if Dr. Winky had been a guest on Murder, She Wrote?

Or Columbo. You would have made a great Columbo villain. Yeah, he would, actually. Just one more thing. You said you'd made the Winky. That would be so good if there was a Columbo based on the Winky. And the murder happened on the billboard. So who would have it happen? Yeah. Copyright cheap show. That would be so good if there was a Columbo based on the Winky. And the murder happened on the billboard.

So who would have it happen? Yeah. Copyright cheap show. Fucking take your hands off our idea, you pricks. So that's part one of this. And what we're going to do next is the really fucking interesting thing. Much more exciting, yes.

So let's get into that right now because I'm fizzing. Thank you. I know you're looking at me. I didn't interrupt you or anything, did I? I did good, didn't I, Paul?

No, you did good. Good Eli. I can have a sugar lump. I want to go in the bedroom and get a sugar lump. All right. The house of pickles. I'll give you a fucking sugar lump. So this is the one that excited me, right?

This is the one that... Ah, yeah. Yeah, we just cut a load of shit out. That's why he's laughing. Yes, Paul. Yes, Paul. This is the thing that got me excited, because Yven posted on Twitter,

just casually, as Yven likes to, and says, big winky thing and then a screenshot of something. And I was like, wait, what, this video footage of winky? I jumped down the rabbit hole. I get in touch with Yven. What's all this then? I decry. No.

Decree. You say. You cry. I cry. What's all this then? I bellowed over the internet. And Yven went. I don't What's all this then? I bellowed over the internet. And Yvonne went. I don't know how Yvonne found this,

but Yvonne said they found a video on YouTube from a French guy from a show that existed called Le Grande Raid, right? Meaning? The Big Raid. I think it means the big race. I'll get into it in a minute. But I was like, oh, this is great.

Show me. Link. And it is a little documentary. It's about eight minutes of two reporters who go i mean i get i'll get into the details in a minute but like they go to and they film a little documentary about what was going on on the winky billboard and there's an interview with dr winky and with jeff stewart who wasn't a real doctor he was known he called himself dr winky because his family name was wing k and so he can he we talked about this in one eight was yes and he you know

contracted it and made it winky so there's interviews with him there's a few people on his family name was wing k and so he can we talked about this in 181 yes and he you know contracted it and made it winky so there's interviews with him there's a few people on the board and then there's shots of the thing in motion like apparently they've been on there like three months at that point i think like they were mid like mid or certainly late spring 85 at this well into the uh and i was like this is amazing game but it's in french i don't know what they're saying because it's not translated it's not like it's got captions it's just they dub over

the American language yes but couldn't you get some kind of AI don't they do that now like Google Translate no what I did instead was I reached out to our amazing Cheap Show

audience and said who can do this then and translate the video and so I want to say a big thank you obviously to Aven for pointing this out but to Marcus Lindstrom

on Twitter who we're seeing in November. He's flying over to see us in the live show in November. Ticket to our website. Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival. No pressure. November 4th, was it? No pressure. Yes, it's Saturday, November the 4th.

There we go. Stretton in South London. Marcus is coming over. We're going to say thank you to him then. But he translated it all. But not only that, he found all the context for who the people were what the show was called all of that fantastic and delivered it as a film script basically so i was looking at this film script going well we could just read the characters you and me and

read the whole thing verbatim as it is or we could do a little bit special so i've reached out to the cheap show family and we are going to recreate that video, but in English language, for you today and present it as a perform piece rather than just me and you reading it out badly. Good idea, and thanks for everyone involved. So you'll be listening to that now, but it's important to right now stress what this is all about, what the video is.

So now I'm going to go straight to Marcus's thing, all right? Because again, look, he just sent this as really... That's the script. ...brilliantly formatted script. So you went above and beyond. He did the translation, didn't he? And transcript, yeah. Yeah, but he could have just slapped it in a Word document, but it's actually nicely formatted like a film script.

It's formatted as a screenplay, yeah. So, the script is the show is called Le Grand Raid Le Carpe De Oh God. The Faux Winky Le Pouce De La Communication That was the name of this segment he's written an introduction are you ready for it i'll get through it as quick as we can yeah bit of context says marcus le grand raid le copter de fou i hope i've not pronounced that right i don't know why i

said i hope i have uh was a show that aired in 1984 to 1985 on various franco phone networks so france switzerland belgium luxembourg monaco canada the premise of the show is a contest to 1985 on various Francophone networks. So, France, Switzerland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Monaco, Canada. The premise of the show is a contest between five teams of two amateur journalists, one per per national network. All the previous except Belgium that apparently

sat this one out. So basically what they're saying is those channels, that France, Switzerland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Monaco, Canada, apart from belgium each represents that net part of the network okay you see what i'm saying yes oh you mean it's like it's made across all these different francophone uh territories and then has a representation on the show okay so it's like a big group network show was there any equivalent in the english speaking world going for gold maybe the question, you know, it's actually made

by all these different companies in different areas. Was there anything with the ITV regions all got together? I don't know. I mean, I know Fort Boyard was a French production, wasn't it? But it was shared by Germans, and they all used the same set and props, but just rotated the production in and out. I don't know.

People out there, if you do know of any similar formats to this get in touch and it was a current sorry a current affairs sort of show it's a documentary game so it'll go into it so it says so each network is represented by two amateur journalists that had to present a subject every week either documentary or fiction which were marked by a jury of professional journalists, one again from each national network. And for context later on, if, for instance, France is doing the segment, when it comes to voting, the French judge can't vote for their own thing.

So they get four votes, and one sits out per character. You know, right? So there you go. The teams had to travel, because this is a week, I think it was a weekly show, or certainly for the season.

They had to travel from the Cape of Good Hope, the far south of Africa, to Cape Horn horn at the far south of the americas and were handed a citron visa all-wheel drive car to do the trip their travels lasted from november 84 to june 85 they had to do a weekly film based on where they'd been and as much so they're on the road making these and they stop off that sounds, and then broadcast it back live. That sounds insane. Yeah. So some of them were in LA.

Well, as Marcus disposes here, on that journey, they stop off in San Francisco, America, and the documentary... Sorry, San Fran, sorry. Yeah, and the documentary about Winky was one of those stops that they made along the way. I think in the episode, it's the Monaco-led... The Monaco team. Yeah, something like that, either way. I think in the episode, it's the Monaco-led. The Monaco team. Yeah, something like that.

Either way. So, in this documentary segment, Christine Demonde and Julien Merland were the team representing Monaco. Okay. And who had handled Winky and are initially being interviewed

by a presenter called Didier Renier. They will later communicate live with the studio in France. Which is the Winky segment. Yeah. And now we're going to cut to the segment of the show where Didier is talking to these two journalists, Christine and Guylaine.

How would you say that name? Sorry. Guylaine. Guylaine. I don't know. My apologies. But we're going to go to the in the field segment now. So the last story is presented by

Teller Monte Carlo. What's that? What's that little square? And it blinks too. It's a winky. What's a winky? Well, in the world there's always green lights and red lights. During our travels and our meeting various people, we realised that there's always big communication issues.

We ended up in Hollywood, which was supposed to be a very cosmopolitan city where everyone communicates seamlessly. We stumbled upon a new Californian craze intended to remedy that issue. That is why we brought this little gadget with us. More on this in our film. Very cute. Also, it blinks.

No touching. Right. Let's watch your story on film. What suspense. So here we go. The story presented by Telemontecarlo. Winky, your story on film. What suspense. So here we go. The story presented by Tele Monte Carlo. Winky, the chip of communication. So that's that's a setup. It is LA, not San Francisco. Sorry. Yes, it is LA. Yeah. So I got it completely wrong then.

I thought it was San Fran. No, because that toy museum is in San Francisco. Yes, it is covered. But he was living up there by then. DV8 is in San Francisco. Ah, see, this is where was living up there by then. DV8 was in San Francisco. Ah, see, this is where I'm confused. But the event took place in LA on Sunset Boulevard because of the billboard history it's got there.

Yes. Okay. And where was Lynn based? San Fran. Yeah. Okay. Do you see my confusion? Yeah.

But where are they doing this? Where are they shooting this? This is on Los Angeles. Okay. So they've got the billboard filming this. Yes. So now the next segment is the short film about Winky.

And it's very simple, very simply portrayed. There's a narrator, interviews. And what's interesting now is that the people they interview, they interview two people on this billboard. One is Sherry Davies, who is the lady we think won, went to New York afterwards, did the whole thing on her own up there. And then, as far as we know, disappeared off the face of the earth after that. We haven't been able to find anything else.

I think I found it on LinkedIn and it said she was kind of some kind of spiritual counselor or something. Don't quote me on that. I just think I did a little bit of research and the closest I could find, because you call yourself an actress. Yes.

Yeah. Well, it's the type of career that an actress might go into. Yeah. Isn't it? To be cynical. And Dr. Winky gets interviewed as well in this. And then there's a little bit of Geoffrey Stewart.

And Geoff was the guy who got mad on the billboard. So it's interesting that that's there as well. You can even see very briefly Geoff Oland, who we interviewed on our podcast. He's in one of the shots there. So Oland wasn't the one who got married? No, no, no. Stewart was. Geoffrey Stewart? Geoff Stewart. Yeah. S-T-U-A-R-T. All right. And that's it. there so olan wasn't the one who got married no no no stewart was so jeffrey stewart jeff stewart

yeah s-t-u-a-r-t all right um and that's it so now we're going to jump into the documentary segment of this uh weird game show documentary game show thing which sounds fucking great actually i would love to see that more yeah it sounds like such an ambitious thing i guess it television it's the prime you know yeah i, you used to do big things on TV, didn't you? Let's pitch this to Netflix as a remake. No, not in today's world. Shh, shh, shh. Moving on.

That would be so toxic. Well, we'll see. Journalists. God, can you imagine? Yes. That's why I want to do it. It would be awful. Sexy version.

Right, anyway, here is that documentary as presented by the Cheap Show Players. as presented by the Cheap Show Players. California, Los Angeles, April 1985. A new craze has hit Hollywood. The Winkies have hit the shelves. For the past four months, they have surged in popularity and have ignited the market. Their creator? Dr Winky. 29 years old, crazy millionaire and genius.

He got the idea on a flight from Paris to New York. A few weeks later, he invested a million dollars. What's a Winky? The Winky is a small electronic gadget with a sympathetic face and two lights for eyes, red and green. I chose a microcomputer design because they're a part of our lives and their signals are part of our language. It's a new form of communication that humanizes technology. A green light means that you're open to

talking with someone. A red light means you'd rather keep quiet. When both are on it means you're not sure. It's the badge of the century. A big and long-term event was needed to suitably launch the product. For that purpose I invented the Living Billboard. Last December 11th, 12 people started a big winky marathon. It's a contest. They have to live in front of the whole world on the rafters which go around the billboard. The last person to leave will be declared the winner.

Initially, 12 young jobless actors tried their luck. 120 days later, only four are left on this Living advertisement. I'm 26 years old. I've been holding out for the past four months despite the noise, the cold, the boredom, the lack of freedom and space and the utter lack of privacy. I find Winky to be a funny gadget but what really counts is what I will win by being the last person standing. I would get money, a car, a trip but also the leading role in a feature

film. That's what's giving me the strength to stay on. Winky is a gadget that I believe can help people. Everyone is interested in this phenomenon. We're almost becoming more famous than the product itself. We use it, and it uses us. I hope I'll win this marathon, but I expect it'll be another two months. Thanks to Winky, Jeff even met his future wife. She walked under the billboard on

Valentine's Day and he then called her. The wedding will take place on the billboard on the 6th of June. I've market tested Winky in France and in Italy and I'm certain it's a fashion that can take hold in Europe. I've had them produced in Hong Kong and I'm distributing them through gadget and clothing stores at a sale price of $5. Women can wear them as earrings. Men can wear it on their tie or on a handkerchief. If you don't want to talk, you put it on red. And if you want people to chat with you, you put it on green.

For the past four months, a Winky Marathon has been the main attraction on Sunset Boulevard. In Hollywood, you have to amaze, surprise and entertain. This Californian craze sells, and sells well. Dr Winky hopes to turn a $3 million profit from his communication chip. I know not if Winky and his inventor will cause a surge in human relations, but one thing is for certain. Winky has already become the talk of the town

and the envy of many. Nonsense. Poppycock. Empty nonsense. It's funny, isn't it, with hindsight, that we know it was not a success, even at the time. It's obviously like he's told these journalists, oh, it's a big success, it's going to be a big success,

and they have just gone with it, right? Yeah, and also, were we aware that they were trying to sell it on the that communication of whether you want to be spoken to or not it varied from like promotion to promotion because initially but they repeat that twice in that but so that's a fallacy because it was designed to be random because you know i had contacts on the four corners yeah that's what i thought that's why i'm confused about this so but you couldn't you couldn't make it red or green. I mean, you could. If you knew what corners to hold down,

yes, you could. But if you're wearing it, you're still moving around and knocking it. So it doesn't matter. It's going to randomly flash depending on what contacts are being contacted. I feel like he was on drugs. No, he was a very rich man in the 1980s.

Probably on drugs. Who threw everything into trying to be the next, I don't know, I'm not going to say Apple, because that wasn't really a thing thing, but you know what I mean? He was trying to be the next entrepreneur, wasn't he? But this idea has no practical benefit. It's simply an aesthetic item.

Because some people are trying to say it's a high-tech thing. For communication. It's none of those things. It's like a traffic light party. You know where you go to a traffic light party and a student thing, and it's like, if you wear a red badge,

it means you're not interested, but if you wear a green badge, you're taking up the fucking shit pipe. You know, it's that kind of thing. I never went to one of those parties. Well, I did. Did you? And I always wore green.

I didn't. I never went and never invited. Is that a real thing? Yes. Did it go on in your university? Well, there was a university night that I remember doing a traffic light party where you just turned up and whatever.

You what? But then you were up for it if you wore green? Yeah. Or red if you were not interested at all. You just wanted to have a nice night. Well, why are you at the fucking party? Because you just want to get out of the house. Yeah, but you don't want to be knobbed off.

Bunch of people in green getting knobbed off, though. No, but that's fine. They get knobbed off. You're just there because you like the music and some of your friends are going to be there. It's not important. It's not. They get knobbed off. You're just there because you like the music and some of your friends are going to be there. It's not important. It's not your focusing on the wrong thing. Because the other thing about Winky, right, is that,

yes, they're arguing you can sell it as a communication device, but it's also been sold as a living thing that lives on you like a pet and those lights are its mood. Like a pre-Tamagotchi Tamagotchi. And that's what it says on the inlay and the badge itself. You'll find its mood if it's this, it's like that. That's why I mentioned the drugs. It points to a sort of a really cocaine-y vibe in that it's all horse shit.

Do you know what I mean? It's all a bunch of hot air. And it's not even like they can get their story straight about what the use case is for this thing. I would say. Because there is no use case. It's a piece of jewellery. But I would say it depended on who he was marking it due to any particular time. I think the idea was a blinking badge.

That's it. That's the beginning and end. But if he was trying to sell it to kids, it was a toy. If he was trying to sell it to adults, it was a fashion accessory. Yeah. It was a social fashion accessory. And that's why it's inconsistent. And I would argue to why it failed.

It has an inconsistency that is reminiscent of drug, you know, the sort of... But it's also the drug... The drug state, put it that way. I mean, we've covered this before when we did 181, but there was a tragedy to these people on this billboard who were up there for six months, and they'd been promised a car and a movie and a show reel and this and everything. And it's like, they got none of that.

Because of Dr. Lin. Yeah. Because the money fell out, didn't it? Like, he wasn't paying the rent on the thing for the last month or so. Because he didn't make the profit that he wanted off Loki. And then she was somehow persuaded to go and be a spokesperson for it in New York. Where he did the stunt again in New York. On her own.

But that seemed like a transparent dangling carrot for her. On her own? Yes. So the competition was just, she just had to stay up there as long as possible? It wasn't a competition, it was a promotion. The winner of this is now sitting on that billboard in New York to persuade you to come and take notice of this product and buy it. And it didn't work.

It wasn't a great businessman. And there wasn't a movie. They didn't win a car, I don't think. I think in the episode they talk about how there was nothing. It was all a massive anticlimactic fart of an ending. And they probably would have been sort of forgotten about by the media by that point that it did end, you know? It wasn't a story anymore.

No, because the next weird billboard probably popped up a few months later on Sunset Strip. I mean, we don't know. We're moving on. Now we're going into part of the documentary where it's the studio-bound segment, which is broadcast live at this time. I'll just read what Marcus has said. The studio is hosted by presenter Noel Mamia. Alongside him sits Bernard Pivot, or Pivot, or Pivot. I'll just read what Marcus has said. The studio is hosted by presenter Noël Mamia.

Alongside him sits Bernard Pivot, or Pivot, or Pivot, I don't know, who is a legend in French media, a journalist having hosted numerous shows pertaining to literature and other subjects for decades. What I'm inferring is that he's like the French Terry Wogan.

No, more like a Melvin Bragg. Maybe, but from the artsy he seems quite avuncular so i think terry wogan's very middle brow that sounds much more like arts the arts it is you know but when you see the clip i think you'll get what i'm i guess wogan did the proms and stuff like that didn't he and your revision and stuff he was he was a respected broadcaster and fondly considered and that's why i'm saying in my head if i had to compare him to something i would say he's probably like a upper arty Terry Wogan, right? A bit more arty farty.

He goes on to say, note the deference that all the participants have when addressing him and the tendency to say his full name was a mark of respect. It feels really weird and old-timey. So you see what I mean? He's like, he's got that respect of the industry. Yeah, but Terry Wogan wasn't like that. It was much more like you say,

Avunculo, as much people felt like they could relax around him, you know? He was, but everyone loved O-Tel. Everyone loved Terry Rogan. I know, but they're saying they defer. They're kind of like, you know. Yeah, but all I'm saying is they're still respected and had some standing

and audiences loved their presence on something. I'm getting the impression that you... Yeah, but obviously a big deal, this pivot or pivot. Yeah. So, the jury of five professional journalists sit alongside them

ready to award their scores for the winky film. There's a guy called Vincent Philippe from Switzerland, Sophie Hequette from Luxembourg, Jean-Louis Boudot

from Canada, José Sacre from Monaco, and Bruno Albin from France. As a result, you will not hear from Jose in this clip because they couldn't vote.

This part of the show is clearly filmed live, as can be guessed by the sometimes somewhat clumsy interactions and sometimes downright nonsensical phrases being thrown about. If it makes little sense in English, it's not even a translation issue, says Marcus. It really didn't make sense in the original French either. So what I'm saying is they're vamping at some point, trying to be witty or whatever, and it's not quite coming off, and that's why it reads weirdly in translation. Okay.

They say not everyone is able to improvise witty remarks on live television. Yeah, that's right. So now, the final bit is the vote scoring, and we're going to go and hand over to that little bit of it right now. Again, thanks to our cheap show players. Turns out Bernard also has his very own winky. I can see both red and green are blinking. So, do you want to chat or not? Well, both actually. I send big thanks

to Christine and Galena for sending this my way. As soon as the show is over, I'll go to the Champs-Élysées to show off. And so, now, if I want to set it to... Ah, there we go. Bernard, you're from Lyon. We'd never seen anything like that there, or in Bordeaux, or in any other major French city, right?

It's a typically American thing. That's why it's so great. Ah, there we go. Now I'm green. It would have been so useful when we were young at the dances. Do you want to dance? Do you not? If the girl puts on red, then you know. If it's green, then full steam ahead. It would have made things that much easier.

I'd like to ask a question, though. Is there a gadget planned for space vehicles? Would be useful up there. Both companies could merge. Er, no. We'll suggest that to the good doctor. I'm sure he'll come up with a solution. By the way, my small winky is blinking green.

So if you wish to have a dance, we've got music and everything here. Of course. I'll be right over. Bernard Pivot very much appreciated your subject matter I know it's important for you to get these scores since you've been in last place for the past two weeks If the jury doesn't give a good score, I'll be angry And of course, Bernard Pivot will not influence the jury We begin with TSR It's a good film

As with the previous entry, it's very typical of America A guy having an idea, a crazy and funny idea that runs with it and perseveres and turns a profit. I find that very American. Sophie for RTL Television. I think that across all the stories reported by the girls of TMC, we could give them the Academy Award of the Communications Chip. Looks good so far.

Yes, we're happy. We move to Radio Canada. Christine and Galene, I think no one here is inflating their scores. We really mark the subject itself. It's an interesting and funny subject. I only wish to make one remark. There are two separate stories, one about the people on the

billboard and one about Winky. Jose Sacra holds his breath and does not vote as he represents Telemonte Carlo. We wait for the scores from Bruno Albin. I wholeheartedly agree with Jean-Louis about the two stories but it does not matter.

Better to have two than none. And they are connected. It does not impact my good mood. Let's not be distracted by Bernard Pivot. One detail. If you ever find the same glasses as Dr. Winky, please bring them to me.

So, Roger, we impatiently await your score. 110 points. There you are, ladies. I believe that saves you, if I correctly remember what the other teams got. So, first impressions? We're saved, which is obviously relief. We have a question for Bernard Pivot. Where is he going to try out his little winky? Well, at home in my apartment, it wouldn't make much sense, but I really think I can make a mark

on the Champs-Élysées. Oh yes, for sure. Could it have a use on television? Well, television is a communications machine, but sometimes you don't really want to talk to the guests. It would be useful on my show apostrophes, so guests could indicate if they want to talk or not. Would make debates interesting. I just wanted to say a quick thank you at the end of all this for everyone who got involved very last minute. So thank you, Ethan Lawrence.

Thanks, Sue Kempner. Thanks Octavius King, Ashton's Brian Wecht, John Rain from Smirshpod and Paul Putner. Thank you all for giving your time and Eli as well. Bless him. Anyway, back to the episode.

So that's it. The girls do well and apparently the point that they scored allowed them to survive for another week and continue on the tour. Winky works for them. Winky works for them. Winky works.

But it's interesting in that how it's almost like the bridge between LA and France where we've got this French show that's talking about Winky that happened in LA. But at the same time, Winky in the documentary is saying about how he's trying to sell it in France and Italy. And we know they got over there because someone bought a job lot with their own mind to sell.

And decided to do a single. Yeah. Based on it. And then that's there. And it obviously didn't work in France either. And we've seen it on British TV because the Saturday Superstore gave away Winkies one morning as a prize. They did, did they? So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was weird. They were on a Stuart Millard video. That's how I discovered Stuart Millard. So I went, oh, there's a Winky thing in here. And I watched the whole episode. And I went, oh, that was a good episode. Oh, there's Winky. Then I became a firm fan of Stuart and should all enjoy his channel.

Okay, so they were over here. And didn't they sell? They said they sell them in Curry's. Didn't someone say that? I think it was Curry's or Dixon's, whatever those kind of shops were at the time. I think they said $5 were the price. That was a bit high. No.

What's that now? That's at least like $12, $13, right? Yeah. I don't know the exchange rate. But, I mean, look, I think at a loss, they're selling at a loss. Really? For $5? No, but that's terrible.

No, I don't think they are. Think about it. He said he made them in Hong Kong. They're all just cheap. They're pre-existing components that make those things. Yeah, because he didn't copyright. He didn't patent the design because it was just a chipboard thing. But you've still got to make it.

You've still got to process it. You've still got to deliver it. Yeah, but think of the savings he's making by not having to actually manufacture any unique or mould or, you know. He still designed the badge. We know he designed that badge that faced the light. Yeah, but he must have designed it with the knowledge that he could, you know he still designed the badge we know he designed that badge that face the light so yeah but he must have designed it with with the knowledge that he could you know it seems very cynical i mean it's not like oh i had this vision of this face and oh it looks like this chipboard it's like he saw the chipboard thought that looks like a face looked thought how cheaply can i get

these well i would say the idea was i want a badge with light that reflects mood or social conversation and then he went how can i package this chipboard with two lights oh i'll make it The idea was, I want a badge with lights that reflects mood or social conversation. And then he went, how can I package this chipboard with two lights? Oh, I'll make it a smiley face with eyes. It could have easily been like traffic lights. He could have designed the badge that was like traffic lights. He's been to a bunch of traffic light parties. Maybe with him and family, what they got up to at DVA.

Really? Yeah. They put the deviation in DVA. Yes. I mean, I don't know. We don't know. You never went to a traffic light. You had a time machine. I'd go back in time what if you wear orange

at a traffic light party it means you're persuaded you could be persuaded to be knobbed off so it's just like a normal party then yeah but you got

stupid no but the badge kept out a little bit you know because sometimes you go up to the whole issue is it a badge I thought it was

like your whole outfit had to be that colour well oh I thought you had to wear a badge I don't remember it being a colour coder thing

why would you go to a party dressed as red can I put some sort of torch into my arsehole here we go well there we go that's the winky out the window

shine a green light out my arse why then they know where the party's at oh there's a invite at the front party round the back

oh chocolate anyway children like milk milk party it's really good milk milk party you go upstairs invite at the front party round the back oh chocolate anyway milk milk party it's really good milk milk party you go upstairs to the milk milk party but if you want

downstairs is the lemon party yeah lemonade party but you know where the action is you go round the back mashed up Oreos now now that's it

how do we end this segment now that you've said mashed up Oreos I like that I'm glad you did but that's our winky update. Now, we are going to LA and we are going to meet some people out there. I'm not going to mention who it is for two reasons.

One, it might not happen. And two, it might give a game away. But we're building towards more winky stuff. I would like to go and visit the billboard spot. We're going to go. We're going to go. We are. Even if we just take an Uber straight there.

Yeah, but we're not going to be that far away from it. So I know exactly where. It's by a hotel called The Standard off Sunset. And it's fantastic. We're going to go. Even if we just take an Uber straight there. Yeah, but we're not going to be that far away from it. So I know exactly where. It's by a hotel called The Standard off Sunset. Fantastic. We're looking forward to that. And we'll do a little voice thing there.

Yeah, when we're in LA, we're going to be doing little videos. We're going to do podcast episodes out there, obviously. So when we get back in November, expect a few LA episodes. Oh, yeah.

But until then, we're going to take a break. Let's take a little break, mate. Take a little break. It's always nice to get our winky out every once in a while. Nice little winky update, Paul. But until then, we're going to take a break. Let's take a little break, mate. Take a little break. It's always nice to get our winky out every once in a while. Good. Nice little winky update, Paul.

Very interesting stuff. Splatters after the sound effect. Splatters! Hey, what's the matter? It's Silverman's Platter. Hi there. It's time for Silverman's Platters. This is the section of the show where we look at novelty records and interesting

recordings of such like that are on the platters, meaning the round disc-like objects. Someone's going all Ganon-like. Disc-like objects which are records. And there's the new batch of platters coming right in right now, right in right now. They're coming right in right now. You know what we're covering today? A song by The Police. We've sting from that, Paul. Yeah, I'm done. You're not done.

I am. You ain't done. You ain't going nowhere. I ain't going nowhere, buddy. It's the music record-based part of the show, everyone. And we bring records to the part of the show, everyone. And we bring records to the attention of you, the listeners. And then we will have the... It's the original binary segment where we say if it's a platter, meaning we like it.

We like it. It deserves to exist. It does. Or a splatter. Oh, dear. Which is it needs to be destroyed, melted down. Well, no, it's just rather... Melted down, turned into furniture.

No, or it's just a disappointment and it doesn't reach our levels of quality we deem it to need to reach platter status. I deem it to need. Deem it to need. Paul Gannon, solicitors. Deem it to need. Right, so...

Scrub my bollock off. That's not even... No, that could be my bit in the solicitors. Why would I need anyone in my advert you'd be there go deem it to need and then i'd come out of the door right at the end of the corridor i'd scrap my bollock off how is that gonna it would sell law to people my friend oh oh we've got a problem with property with the next door neighbor i tell you what what was that guy with the advert the scratch my bollock off guy oh yes yes, let's call it... Deem it to need. Yeah, the deem it to need men.

I need my bollocks, like their dough. You've got nothing to give, so how about you just shut up? Like their dough, like it's dough. Need the bollock. So you're saying your bollocks are now like, I don't know, pizza bread. Lumpy pizza bread ready. Need two big fists in them. I need a moustache gentleman to spin them into the air

so they flatten out. Like a big pink pancake, Paul. I'm giving you nothing. I'm giving you nothing. So are your balls that baggy that the centrifugal force on them will cause them to flatten out? That's what I'm getting out.

And you put a bit of powder on. Puff, puff. A little puff, puff on the powder. Or maybe a little Parmigiano sprinkle. A tinkle of talc. Anyway, what's the first platter we're going to discuss? Excuse me, sir. Would, sir, like a tinkle of talc?

I would, because my bollocks are so sore. Off, off, off, off, off, off. I don't know why that tickled you. It did do it. Tickle of talc. Tickle of talc tickled you. Tickle of talc. Deem the need in me.

So Eli has two records. Which one do you want to start with? I think with the answer phone thing. Okay. Because there isn't a great deal to say about it, is it, Paul? Tell me what you found, who it's by, what it's called, and then introduce the track. This is a record that I found in a charity shop somewhere here in London, Paul.

White label, one-sided. There's no groove on the B-side. It is a record that I found in a charity shop somewhere here in London, Paul. White label, one-sided. There's no groove on the flat surface. Which I think is a clue as well to sort of its origin. Yeah. And it is on a label called Crook Cassettes. So not something records, it's cassettes. Crook Cassettes. And it is called Dog and Bone.

That's the name of the track the artist listed Johnny and the Answer Phones and it sounds almost identical to this it's me again Graham look I really want to get

a phone call back from you and fucking quick it's me it's me it's me again Graham it's me again Graham it's me it's me it's me again me again me again

me again me again me again me again me again uh look I really wanna get a phone call

I really wanna get a phone call I really wanna get a phone call I really wanna get a phone call back from you and fucking quick fucking quick fucking quick you and fucking quick. Fucking quick.

Fucking quick. Fucking quick. Fucking quick. Fucking quick. Right, because this is fucking serious and it's fucking urgent. Right, because this is fucking serious and it's fucking urgent right because this is fucking serious and it's fucking urgent fucking urgent fucking urgent now so we played the last chunk of that not the beginning chunk because the last chunk had naughty words in and that's funny so that's what we kept in but essentially what the song comprises of is someone with a maybe a midi or some kind of sampler

device yes uh with a bunch of found footage answer phone messages well it sounds like someone took like well okay with a backing track that's obviously made with a keyboard and a drum machine yeah i think it's i think it's a drum kit. I mean, I don't know, but it's definitely a mix, isn't it? It's definitely some kind of sample mix. Here's the thing. The reason why we're bringing this up is almost because there's nothing to talk about. This is one of the few songs we've ever had on this podcast that has almost no footprint at all.

It's not on Discogs. It's not on YouTube. It's not on Spotify. Shazam couldn't find it. Google Music Finder couldn't find it, Google Music Finder couldn't find it. This exists in our hands and rarely anywhere else we'd imagine. We did, however, identify Crook Records, Cassettes, sorry, Crook Cassettes, the label, which was based, as it says on this record, Crook Cassettes, Crook, county durham it must be a yes a town in county durham yeah and

they've got only a very tiny handful of releases ever a few there's a band called el vivo and like monster bastard or something this guy because on this uh on the label here it says dog and bone then in brackets it has the songwriter and it says robinson now that is graham robinson and graham robinson also is listed on this As recorded and produced By him So that's him But also if you notice The answer phone message

Is from some guy called John Who wants Graham Must be this Graham To call him back And it's fucking urgent But that's what I'm saying It feels like Johnny and the Thing

Is the band But based on the fact That this guy Johnny Is calling in Yes The joke is that He's Johnny And the answer phone

And Graham is the mixer Who's produced it put it all together. Graham has, we've been able to identify, has had a long career as a producer, arranger,

sort of musician guy. Apparently in 1985 and we don't know when this record came out but it must have been just before or around then. It's in perfect condition. Because it's recorded

in Abbey Road, right? So it's... That's the other thing I was going to mention that I forgot. It says, it doesn't say recorded. Oh, okay. It says cut at Abbey Road. What does that it's... That's the other thing I was going to mention that I forgot. It says, it doesn't say recorded. Oh, okay.

It says cut at Abbey Road. What does that mean then? I think that means mastered. So they brought the audio there and edited it on their system. Cut is actually referring to the lathe cutting the groove. Oh.

So he would have cut the... So they brought their own masters. Cut the acetate there or whatever they do. You know, cut the master mould. You can do that anywhere. It doesn't really have to be Abbey Road. It just sounds good

to have it on your record. Well, you've got the equipment there to master it because you have to master it on. It's a skill that isn't there anymore because it's done by computers. Because, for example, the needle is moving faster over the groove by the time it gets to the end of the record.

No, at the beginning of the record and it slows down because of the space. And so you have to master for that because it will affect the tone. The pitch and stuff, yeah. Do you see what I mean? So it's quite a complicated thing. And also, as we learned today, because of the way you have to master for that because it will affect the tone of the pitch do you see what i mean so it's quite a complicated thing and also as we learned today because of the way you have to keep a vinyl at a sensible level so it doesn't vibrate and knock the needle because the bass

it's physically moving the needle around and the bass is from side to side so the loud loud if you get really loud bass you can literally throw yeah the needle out of the groove but that's what they're saying they have to master these tracks so that doesn't happen naturally when you play on a vinyl yes so that they're always mixed better so yeah no it which and then that acts as a um a limit to how loud they're going to make the bass whereas if you're doing something digitally on a cd there's nothing there that is going to physically stop you from doing it unless you get compression badly mixed cds yeah with terrible sounds um and stuff anyway it just says here gdr beats is a remote music service from platinum award-winning producer and session drummer graham robinson see that's what i mean he's a session

drummer so i believe that the drums on this are live yeah he did graham established gdr music in 1985 and has played drums produced produced, engineered, mixed and mastered many award-winning and critically acclaimed recordings across many genres. Graham's work on releases for labels include Polygram, Sony, Ministry of Sound, EMI, Parlophone, Virgin, Warner and more and has received numerous official BPI and Brit certificate, gold, silver and platinum awards and then it goes on about how he's got all this fancy stuff in his studio. So he's definitely a sort of someone who had access to a studio. This is my little thought on why this record exists, Paul.

Our man, Graham, was being hounded by this guy, John, for some reason. Does he mention on the record what it's about? He just wants him to call him before nine that night. And I believe that our hero here, Graham, got pissed off with it. It's what it feels like to me. And he thought,

I'll make it into this little tune. But you can only do that if you've got free time in the studio or free access to this equipment. You see what I mean? But you're still cutting it, Abbey Road. That costs money. I wonder how many of these he made.

He probably made these as a joke and thought, I'll give a few to my mates. It's a costly joke though because there's no B-side. So it's not as if thought, I'll give a few to my mates. It's a costly joke, though, because there's no B-side. So it's not as if he was going to throw it around to radio stations. It's a demo.

Yeah, but would you have given it to a radio station to play? It's not for general release, that. Would it? Well, maybe it never got to that stage and he thought, oh, it's not much of anything, is it? It's just one idea.

But funnily enough, it has a sort of weird, almost Apex Twin-y vibe in the way he's distorting and flanging the the audio yeah and doing little things with it

and it's funny how I tried to look online and there was nothing nothing nothing the closest we got was a hard house dance track from Johnny L

called The Answer Phone which has nothing to do with this whatsoever but a lot of Johnny's seem to really use answer phones a lot apparently then this could be one of the most obscure pieces of vinyl I've ever owned or come across.

And it goes to show that in terms of value for secondhand vinyl, it could be as rare as this. Like, there is no way I could find another one of these. No. And also, you got it in a charity shop, so someone owned it. Where did they get it from? How did they? Yeah. You know what I mean? That might have been in a box in a garage for 40 years but what i'm saying is it's still worth fuck all even though it's incredibly rare thing it you know it's a scarce unless graham robinson's legacy means that when he passes on that will suddenly

accrue value because of its kind of footnote in his career the point i'm trying to make is that people sometimes just assume if that is there's only one oh yeah one thing one object that exists it must be worth a load but no one gives a shit no one gives a shit it's still worth fuck all and that this is a really good example of that because you couldn't you'd have to work hard to find you'd have to do a lot like detective work and spend money no discog because there's not it's not there hasn't popped up for sale you'd think oh someone must have come across one and tried to sell it no nothing exactly and A lot of detective work and spend money. No discogs. Because discogs hasn't popped up for sale. You'd think, oh, someone must have come across one and tried to sell it. No, nothing.

Exactly. And my theory is that it's some kind of grudge, little grudge joke, novelty joke that he made for himself, essentially. Maybe. Or maybe he pressed a couple of hundred. Or maybe he was testing equipment. Yeah. Yeah. You never know.

But I like it. I like this kind of thing so well we've given the game away there haven't we yeah so shall we do we need to go through the formality splatter for me unfortunately i didn't like it very much at all you just said you liked it i've got to be a contrarian that's what gets viewers these days no it's not what's that thing you like i don't like it no it's not what gets figures what What do you like? Pickles. I hate pickles. You kind of, you're neutral on pickles, I'd say. Yeah, I'm pickle neutral.

I'm pickle curious. You quite like noodles. No, I don't. Something else you like, tell me. Humanity. Hate it. That's a genuine one as well. Yeah, I know.

Right, we're moving on to our next platter. Now this one, just to be clear, it's a platter for both of us. It's a platter for both of us. A nice jolly mystery that we will never really solve. But hey, Graeme, if you're listening and you want it back, 50 quid? The obscurity of it. The absolute pitch obscurity of it.

Tickles my fancy, Paul. Easily the most, not even saying unique, but to find something with no footprint like this, on a show that already has rare, weird stuff out there. Do you agree that it's a bit, it must be a sort of grudgy thing? There's a sort of vibe, because he's almost being tetchy and rude,

the guy John are calling him up, isn't he? I get the impression it's more demo based on, like for instance, there's a track by Ben Folds on the Rhino Messner album, right? It's a mellow jazz track, but he's taken the antiphon message from his dad, who left him a message one night. He was concerned about his son saying,

oh, make sure you look after yourself and this, that and the other. And he turned it into this weird vibe. Yeah. It's almost hauntological kind of sound. It's almost like linear space music. It's like a found footage type sort of vibe. There's something avant-garde,

even though it's throwaway is what I'm saying, which is also kind of experimental almost. Yeah. No, it's like a found footage type sort of vibe there's something avant-garde even though it's throwaway is what i'm saying which is also kind of it's experimental almost yeah no it's weird the track's called your most valuable possession and yeah dean folds i think is his dad and there's this this message and it's really chill is that quote from the message probably saying your look after your mind you're saying look after your brain don't burn out don't stress out what do you think the chances are that ben foldss was heard this and was influenced by it I wonder how many close to zero I'd say I wonder how many

songs out there do well there's the answer phone song which is that have we covered that which is like a sort of pop country sort of novelty thing

I think there's a but does it have answer phone footage on it no that's what I'm saying it's about an answer phone use audio from an answer phone that hey what's your number?

Lovey couldn't get through. Why don't you leave an email? And your number. That's a curiosity killed the cat. Is it? Yeah. But then it was used by Della Soul. No, by Jamiroquai used it as well.

It's quite a popular riff. There's definitely a hip hop act in the States who used it as well. Maybe, but I know that. Well, no. Oh, it's human cried. No, I think it's curiosity killed the cat.

Is it something that actually originated as one of those novelty answer phone messages you could use? You remember they sold those on TV? It's like, will you leave a wacky message by Donald Duck or something? Well, no, because you had to... Remember the process? You had to record an answer. Yeah.

And then after the beep, they'd record, right? Yeah. But you could get these novelty tapes that would have, like, Dr... You know, not Dr. Seuss. He wouldn't speak. Dr. Spock. Yeah.

Answering your phone or, you know. Yeah. You could just get. You could have cassettes that you could buy. I think that was maybe one of those. Why don't you leave your name? It was like a song one. You know, I don't know.

I think it's just a song by QRC. Anyway, it's interesting, Paul. Interesting. And let's move on to our second and final uh platter or spatter here on silverman's splatters the record segment of cheap show and it is by an artist called alan smethurst better known in the 50s as the bbc singing postman and this is a clip from his hit have you got a light boy i had a gal very nice nice gal, down in Roxham Way. She was wholly nice to me back in the old school days.

She would smile all the while, but Daddy didn't know all what she used to say to me behind the garden wall. Hey, I got a light, boy. Hey, I got a light. Then one day she went away. I don't see her no more. Till by chance I see her down along the Mundley Shore.

She was there twice as fair. Would she now be true? So when she sees me passing by, she say, I'm glad that's you. Hey, I got a light, boy. Hey, I got a light. Molly Winsley, she smokes like a chimney, but she's my little nicotine girl. So this is an EP.

Again, I picked up in a charity shop. Did you like the little bit of ghostly child drawing on the back of the cover there? Yeah, get a picture of that, because that is quite hauntological. Yeah. And a bit folk-horror-y, isn't it? I don't know what they were trying to draw there,

but there's a face. They were trying to draw the moosty man who came at night from the hay. The moosty man. The moosty man. I'm the moosty man. Something like that, yes. There go the police again.

They obviously didn't want to stand so close to it. Not having any of that today. So, this is hardly the rarest, not even rarest, what's the word I'm looking for? It's not the most secretive track. People know of the singing policeman of a certain age and generation. They do. He must have been some kind of hit.

Was he on a TV show or something, Paul? Oh, shall I tell you right now, thanks to the podcast age old art of just ripping off wikipedia please tell me right so these it says on the on the sleeve so bbc singing postman with songs made favorites on the wednesday morning program and i just want to point this out ralph took promotions right on this ralph talks all over this fucking thing apparently he was like the agent and so like the thing you see on the top of the record is, Ralph Tuck promotions.

It's the biggest words on this single. Well, he must have thought, wow, I'm going to make some money off this Smethurst guy. Because Smethurst is obviously like a postman. So he didn't want to be a pop star or a singer, did he? So he was born in 1927, this Alan Smethurst. And he was also known as the singing postman, an English folk singer

he's best known for the self-penned novelty song Have You Got a Late Boy which earned him and this is I didn't know this because this song kind of bubbles around in like pop culture of like my generation-ish

but definitely my parents right but it's earned an Ivor Novello award in 1966 and the Guardian dubbed him a bookishly melancholy folk satirist right and it is very lo-fi the music on this uh record isn't it very lo-fi it's just a guitar and him isn't it i think it's a bit like that remember we had that other thing which is similar where it was two folk singers who sang for that bbc radio station in bristol yeah yes it's kind of like that this is this was the earlier version because this obviously Came before then By a good 20 years

It's essentially Sort of outsider Almost Outsider But that's very interesting It's very lo-fi The recording It feels like they just

Did it in a room Or something doesn't it At the bottom here Paul Says Ralph Tuck Promotions Limited Four wins Whatever that means

Whatever that is Maybe it's an album Raiden Southwold in Suffolk And then we have A little message from Tuck himself. See, he's all over this. We will be delighted to... Is he like the general that looked after Elvis?

Yeah, he's the Svengali of Smethurst, obviously. But he's obviously got some kind of business, right? Yeah, definitely. Ralph Tuck Promotions Limited. Perhaps he's like the Suffolk sort of... Del Boy kind of thing. Weird. We will be delighted to hear suggestions

for commercial recordings of Alan Smethurst's other songs. Let us know the favourite songs you would like to hear. It's almost like he's saying, give us a record deal. Who wants to give this guy a record deal? Who'd like that? And then it's like, I deal with Smethurst's business. It's like the 50s Kickstarter. The cover depicts a little sort of caricature of Smethurst's business. It's like the 50s Kickstarter. The cover depicts a little caricature of Smethurst

with his postman's hat on, and he looks quite horrific there, doesn't he? Yeah, what's he doing? Is he singing? He's singing. Is he trying to unlock his jaw to swallow a python or something? It's very strange. There's a very folk-horror-y resonance about this whole object,

made worse by the weird ghostly floating head that some child has drawn in biro on the back. You've got to include that on the pictures, Paul. Don't you worry. Weird shapes and a floaty doll head. So he was a simple, humble postman. He worked for the GPO in Norfolk and Suffolk. During his rounds, he hummed on his daily post round.

And he did this for 12 years. And he would write and sing songs in his native Norfolk dialect. Somehow, an audition tape from him was sent to the BBC. And it earned him a spot on Ralph Tuck's BBC East regional radio program Wednesday morning. Oh, Ralph Tuck was the presenter of it. So you see what I mean? He's also got an industry. He's also got a sideline of promotions.

It's like, oh, don't worry. I'm a bbc regional presenter i'll get you on the royal variety performance so i'll get you he was pushing smithurst wasn't he he's like this is my way into the big time possibly yeah yeah in a very weird very partridgey kind of way goes on to say his popularity led to tuck recording smithurst on his own record label called the smallest recording organization in the world based in lowestoft a four-track ep containing some of his signature tunes which might be that that you're holding right now made the charts in 1965 this was followed by it says december 64 on it so that would make sense because it would make the charts after it was really here's

the thing that thing you're holding that's not on discogs either bizarre it's got all his other eps and his singles like it's called first order or second order or first delivery second delivery with his eps perhaps this was an early copy that uh ralph tuck kind of got to like a business card calling card thing because it is very much an advert for him as a concept rather than a proper cover it said alan it's no it's no title it just says says Alan Smithers, BBC, singing postman. Do you know? He's all over it. Wednesday morning programme.

So this is like a promotional item that Ralph produced, obviously. It's literally Trotter's independent trading. Isn't it, though? It is. But what I wanted to say before you continue. Yeah. No, perhaps get to the end of this and then I'll... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because, look, he released a load of albums, a load of singles. He did a bit of TV. Apparently, and this again shocks me, he was signed to EMI.'s not what shocked me but he was on top of the pops but unfortunately his performances were always uh offset by the fact that he was terrified he had nerves and stage fright he's a postman yeah of course and behind on a radio i imagine it's fine to just sit there and sing or record but like on top of the pops with a bunch of teenagers what are they gonna do when you're singing have you got a light boy they wanted it to be it to be a novelty hit yeah it's not like like uh benny hill who was clever about it because benny hill was like i'm not going on top of the

pops how embarrassing i'm gonna make that video you know the video that everyone knows of him dressed up and on the horse and cart for ernie yeah which was a hit yeah sorry for ernie that was his biggest hit but he didn't want to go on Top of the Pops to do it. Quite rightly, he was like, this is embarrassing, so I'll make this video for them to play instead. But he was a professional comedian. Yeah. So they could have done that.

This is just a post. He wasn't really a milkman. Benny Hill wasn't a milkman. No, no, no. What I'm saying is, no one thought to say, how about we just film something of yours, and then we could just play that, as opposed to making you do it live. They should have done, like, yes,

they should have done a video of him delivering the milk and singing or whatever. You know, a little docu-thing. He apparently did Summer Season at the Windmill Theatre in Great Yarmouth.

So yeah, then he won the Novello Award for Best Novelty Song of the Year. Well. Then convicted horrible cretin Rolf Harris recorded a cover version

without success. Even though that's the version that always popped into my mind first weirdly. There's a Rolf Harris version of course. I forgot.

Then he had a comeback in 1994 when it was featured as part of a television commercial for Ovaltine, which is that multi-bedtime drink that- You got a light, boy. Ovaltine light. That is seared into my brain. And as if Cheap Show itself had come up with this next fact, it was also covered by a punk band in 1981 called Splodgenous Bounds. Splodge what? Splodgeness Bounds. Splodge what? Splodgeness Bounds.

All one word. Splodgeness sounds. Splodgeness Bounds. But all one word. So Splodgeness Bounds. Did they have anything else? No. I mean, I could look into it, but no.

It was like, have you got a light, boy? Yeah, I bet it was. I bet it was like a thrashy version of that. Yeah, it could work. So the singing postman left the music industry in 1970 citing stage fright and having arthritic hands he later admitted to having an alcohol problem and revealed all his earnings were gone and he was penniless he spent the last 20 years of his life living quietly in a salvation army hostel in grimsby where he died from a heart attack in december 2000 and yet in 2010, a Radio 4 documentary called In Search of the Singing Postman was broadcast and written about by presenter DJ Taylor.

Interesting. Now, Paul, there's that Ovaltine. The frontman for the band that I just talked about is called Max Splodge. Not his real name, obviously. There's that Ovaltine. For such an obscure thing, it's had quite a reach on popular culture. The other thing that it has been quoted in is David Bowie's early, early, early hit. Yeah.

But not even a big hit. The Laughing Gnome. Yeah, that and his gobbling face. Which is a novelty record as well, really. The Laughing Gnome, talking to him, the Laughing Gnome has a Norwich accent in that record. And he says how you got a light. So was it some kind of parlance that was known in norfolk that he ingratiated the song yeah cool well there you go it's probably the same root thing isn't it yes not norfolk suffolk but similar

area now just wait can i just do this to get out the way i can put my phone down that splodgeness bounds band they did do one song you're gonna know it two pints a log and a packet of crisps please that was one of those yeah that was them just to kind of put a bow on that and jumpy so bowie picks up on it for his record also he picked up for his the name of his character ziggy stardust from that stardust cowboy oh yeah outsider artist right so bowie has this sort of affinity for the outsidery stuff that he sort of incorporated that whole art pop thing It's interesting how he incorporates this as well. And he takes things not from the mainstream, from outsider sort of stuff.

That's what he finds interesting. I just thought I'd make that point. Yeah, but it's fascinating because it is folk, ultimately. It's still approachable. It's still something that, yes, of course, the BBC could put on a local radio station. It's perfect for that. Okay, well, I think we've exhausted that, Paul.

Also, there's four tracks on this, and the fourth one is called A Miss From Dis. And it's about him dating, trying to get off with a lady from Dis. Dis is just down the road from Great Yarmouth. But then at the end, it's weird. He has this whole bit where he goes, some men like fat girls and some like thin. I just like a woman who can cook for me and stitch my clothes.

And so, yeah, it's a new thing. Maybe it's satire. Doesn't it also have the cliche from, which I think goes back to the blues, where he says, if you won't do it, your sister,

I know your sister will. He basically does say, it's weird to have this really folky thing, but he's talking like Johnny Rotten, who's like, oh, if I can't do you,

your sister's always around. No, I think that comes from like Delta Blues. I think that's in folk, that trope of like, I'll go for your sister. Yeah. Goes back way, way, way in folk comes from like Delta Blues. I think that's in folk. That trope of like, I'll go for your sister. Yeah. Goes back way, way, way in folk.

Like Goldie Looking Horn does a song about your sister. Goldie Looking Horn, you just said. God. Goldie Looking Chain. Where'd the horn come from? No, you farted. This segment's over. Goldie looking horn.

This is a... I think because of the cultural importance, I call it a platter. Shut up. You just farted. That's classic. That was classic, Paul. Is it a platter or platter?

Goldie looking horn. Shut up. I'm done. This segment's over. Goldie horn, you twat. That's why you know Goldie horn This segment's over. Goldie Horn, you twat. That's what I know. Goldie Horn. That's it. Platter or splatter?

A platter, Paul. And that's the end of Cheap Show. Before we get to another week. I said platter. You were too busy laughing at my misfortunate use of words. That was so good. That was the best in years, man. Great. Goldie looking hot.

Shut up. I was quite proud of Tinkler Talk. No, that wasn't a mistake. It's the fact that you fucked up. Anyway, two things. Sorry, go ahead. Two things if you want to get involved with us on Cheap Show.

We're on all the socials, but basically, long story short, go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk. Links there to everything you can possibly need to reach out or enjoy cheap show content videos episode guides uh links to this links to that merch links to our live show in november with digitizer it's all there thecheapshow.co.uk also we'd like to thank our supporters who support us on patreon you lovely backers keep us going and without it we generally wouldn't have as much fun making these episodes so thank you to you and if you want to get involved

in that and get access to patreon exclusive videos and podcasts and magazines from event and all sorts of wonderful behind the scenes goodness patreon.com forward slash cheap show it is as simple as that i've seen what you've brought. Oh, for the next episode. Yeah. We're going to record another episode in a minute because, you know, we're going to LA soon.

Well, we're just trying to get a few episodes locked in. So the next one's going to be one of our patented, real-time, barely any edits. Start the clock. 60-minute romps. So that's what we're doing

next week. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it, actually, Paul. But I've ruined the surprise there on that, haven't you? Well, you might have been out of sight. You should have hidden it better.

Have you seen... I wasn't sure if I was going to use it actually full stop it was just there on the off chance I'll have a look at that during the episode but what is it find out next week

can I just add thank you very much patrons yes thank you very much thank you very much and that's really it yes we are on Instagram and threads and x and whatever the fucking

what I call it look for cheap show all is well but honestly our website's the place to go is that it is that the outstanding la soon baby baby i'm gonna start packing soon get insurance get tickets to disney

try and nail down those guests because if that doesn't happen i will be cancelling the trip for you i'll be going on my own you won't be going i'll go on my own i'll bring a sexy lady with me sexy lady called uh annabelle oh fuck off man sexy Annabelle. Oh, fuck off, man. Sexy Annabelle. I hate it when you try and think of something. I really do. It's always biscuits. I said Annabelle.

It wasn't a Jimmy and it wasn't a biscuits, was it? It was an Annabelle. You did that joke about if you've been disturbed by anything you heard. You did that earlier today. Yeah, I know. That's tired. And sleep. Oh, don't!

I hate it when you say that. I got you I got you in the feels in the Pavlovian response feels anything you want to add? Mussolini sugary linguine the one we did miss that someone pointed out

on Twitter was Polo Pot Polo and I'm just going to say I did prefer My Ultimate well that was the ultimate well done Paul thanks for listening everyone that's it for this week was a polo pot. Polo. And I'm just going to say I did prefer my ultimate with Banger. Well, that was the ultimate, yes. Well done, Paul.

Thanks for listening, everyone. Love you guys. That's it for this week. What a lovely show it's been. I think... You don't think much, do you, Paul? You didn't think before you said that, did you?

I was going to say, I think one of our best, but actually it's... Is it one of our... You don't know until you get the finesse, the snip-snap-snop, the kitty-cat cut.

Ooh, finesse it. Then we've heard your feedback. Hey, Paul, can I say something to you? Yeah. Make me sound good, yeah? Yeah. Ch we've heard your feedback. Hey, Paul, can I say something to you? Yeah. Make me sound good, yeah? Yeah. Chuffney tray.

Chuffney tray. Do you know what you can put in the chuffney tray? Pre-packed poultice. Pre-packed poultice. Pre-packed poultice. Stuff it in the chuffney tray. That's what I say. You're just going to suffer.

I'm just going to suffer. You make me suffer. Pre-packed poultice. And that's the end of this week's episode. We've got nothing. this is not a wrap up this is just a calamitous end see you next week

bye everyone Oh, I miss my little miss from this I miss her sister too When one sister's missing Boy, the other one will do But don't you go and tell her this Do you, an old friend of mine I miss my little miss from this Who's kissing all the time

I miss my little miss from this Who's kisses all the time. I miss my little mates from sister's kisses all the time.