CheapShow - Ep 359: Stars Over 45

Episode Date: November 17, 2023

It's sadly time to say goodbye to America in the final episode of our Los Angeles Trilogy! However, if they are going to go out, they're going to go out in style! They're going to go BIG and then GO HOME when they somehow manage to wrangle the biggest guest of their weird existance! Joining Paul and Eli this week is comedian, actor, musician and slightly bemused human, Tim Heidecker (Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! On Cinema, Us, Office Hours)! How will he fare in a world of rockney, music mash ups, horror themed hip hop, cockney geezers, Disney education books, walkie talkies and Buddha boards? They're also joined by Brian Wecht (Ninja Sex Party) for a mix of vinyl treats and Price of Shite tricks! As a grand finale, Noiselund graces the economy comedy podcast with one more LA G-funk type track (kinda), taking us out in style! Thanks to Tim Heidecker for taking the time to record with us! Thanks to Brian Wecht for looking after us for a week and to Leighton Gray for being our technician for this recording! "The Cool Cat Of LA" by @noiselund See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-359-stars-over-45 And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Find out more about Tim Heidecker here: https://www.timheidecker.com/ And discover "Leighton Night with Brian Wecht" with @bwecht & @graylish @leightonnight www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

It's a hairy patch hole. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, no, who's there? Oh. Who's there? Oh.

Oh. Where was all this a few weeks ago? Oh. Hey, where was all this a few weeks ago? When me and you, Mr. Silverman, me and you were recording. Mr. Silverman, can we drop this shit for once? Where were you? Can you get a different approach? Naughty boys, Mr. Silverman, can we drop this shit for once? Where were you? Can you get a different approach?

Naughty boys, Mr. Silverman, all of this. Think about the fucking persona you're building. That you're sort of a kind of chummy, saggy man-child who's all naughty with his chubby, saggy naughtiness. I did, I do. But it's the same joke. Okay, so you've done the same fucking cum knob gags

for the past eight years, mate. Cum knob gags. Name one cum knob gag I've made. Any time you say spoff or rubbing your nubbage. That's not a joke.

It is. You're right. It fucking isn't, mate. You've pointed that out correctly. Those are just words. The point is, words aren't jokes, Paul. You know what?

Let's never make a joke again in case they're slightly similar to someone else's joke. That's right. Let's never do a knock-knock gag again, Mr. Silverman. You're right. No, Let's never make a joke again in case they're slightly similar to someone else's joke. That's right. Let's never do a knock-knock gag again, Mr. Silverman. You're right. No, let's never do a pun.

Let's never do anything that's ever been done before ever. You're right. No, you're right, Mr. Silverman. You're absolutely correct, Mr. Silverman. Don't stop calling me that. Let's never do riffs on popular material. That's right.

Let's never do shows like The Fast Show where they riff on popular catfails over and over. The Fast Show? Because it's been done. Because it's been done, isn't it, Mr. Silverman? Let's never do anything ever again, Mr. Silverman.

If you're not going to finish with this bit, Paul, I will leave. Please leave. This is the introduction to this week's episode. This week's episode is our final

from Los Angeles. Don't open the door and then sit back down. Either fuck off or come in. All I was trying to say... back down. Either fuck off or come in. All I was trying to say... No, you either fuck off or come in. All I was trying to say, everybody, is I wasn't trying to

shame you. I was just saying, ooh, isn't it this interwoven web of comedy references and semi-references moving in a... A! Erudite what? A! You found my badge. You found A. Yeah, I found the letter A from a couple of weeks ago when we played that word game.

Mastermind word edition. Listen, anyway, basically this is our last episode from Los Angeles. One of the earliest that we recorded, funnily enough, but we thought we'd save it till last. Well, it was the first one we recorded. Well, we were doing bits in the walkabouts beforehand. I suppose you're right.

So, yes, it kind of was a very early recording session for us. But this, what you're going to hear, is our big-name guest for our LA trip Tim Heidecker is our guest and it was a fun show we were very nervous beforehand it was quite a surreal experience arriving in LA we were very jet lagged

and then tired because we walked around the whole day before yeah we did we did still jet lagged and then Tim Heidecker comes around and just knocks on your door hello come in but hopefully there'll be some enjoyment here for some of our listeners and possibly jet lag and then Tim Heidecker comes around and just knocks on your door. Hello. It was a bit nerve wracking, but hopefully there'll be some enjoyment here for some of our listeners and possibly Tim Heidecker fans. If they're listening, we apologise

that you had to put up with what this is. This little bit you had to listen to. You didn't have to go on a rant. Oh, oh look. There's Tim Heidecker in a podcast. I like Tim Heidecker. Let's listen to this podcast. What the fuck is this? Some cunt berating his good friend. Two cunts berating each other. Oh, two cunts? Two cunts. One podcast. What the fuck is this? Some cunt berating his good friend. Two cunts

berating each other. Two cunts? Two cunts. One podcast. It's coming to you. So, this is our final episode in LA

for you to listen to. It was us and Brian Wecht talking to Tim Heidecker and playing a few... And me, I was there. You basically were there, but again,

going back to what I said at the beginning, where was all this vaginal music stuff? You didn't do that in front of Tim Heide said at the beginning, where was all this vaginal music stuff? You didn't do that in front of Tim Heidecker, did you? What do you mean, vaginal music? He started the song today, literally just five minutes ago. I was warming up.

In fact, four minutes and 47 seconds ago. I was simply warming up my brain goggles. By talking about... Now I can do a song if you want. Is there anything else you'd like to say before we get into the episode? That's the important thing here. This is meant to be an intro to our Tim Heidecker episode

Enjoy the episode everyone we enjoyed making it We did Although it was a bit nerve wracking We were absolutely terrified So with all that being said See for yourself Here it is

Episode I thought that I What? Did nothing? Me and Tim had a little Yeah? A little thing going Did

Yeah? A little comedy Yeah Yeah? Yeah Master players You know Paul when two master players What? Begin a game of comedy Yeah. A little thing going. Did, um, yeah. A little comedy, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Well, why don't you... Master players. You know, Paul, when two master players...

What, begin a game of comedy chess? Yeah. They see each other, they admit they're in the level of mastership, and then it's like you, you know, coming up behind... Jog on. Jog on. He's doing the wanker. Jog on, Mr. Silverman.

We'll leave it to you, the listener, to decide if Eli and Tim Heidecker had a quote-unquote thing going on. Right? We'll come and we'll see you. No, enjoy, really. Really enjoy. Oh, in seriousness, enjoy it.

Sorry, Paul. Enjoy, and we'll see you next week. Here we go. Here's the episode. Press the fucking credits. Pop, pop, random. Pop, pop, random. Paul Gannon.

Eli Silverman. Welcome to the Jeep Show. Sources and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. Chodney. Chodney Borough. I hate you. You've got to be moved with posse.

Jeep show tonight. Jeep show tonight. It's the Price of Shine Welcome to Cheap Show Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where Eli, I'm doing a change up Do you know what I usually say? Charity shops, bargain bins, thrift stores No, you don't say thrift stores, that's the American thing Is it? what do I say?

you say charity shops bargain bins bazaars jumble sales jumble sales are important pound land pound land yes of Great Britain

and bring you that but we're not doing that this time because we're in instead we're in Los Angeles and we are going through the thrift stores the goodwill and the dollar trees

of Los Angeles to bring you the treasure we find amongst the trash. And this is a holy day for Cheap Show, for we have two of the most beloved people. And that's gone off. Your thing's doing something. Your camera's doing something. You know what?

Just turn it off. I'm just going to turn it off because I could spend 15 minutes playing around with that and have an emotional breakdown. But I thought, let's just pull back on the embarrassment. Hello. Welcome to Cheap Show. And we have two very special guests with us this week. And this has been years in the making in some respects

because you've always threatened to come out to LA and bug you personally. But first of all, I want to bring on to the show a wonderful, beautiful human. Someone I have, if possible, romantic attachments with in the future. But until then, we're just friends. And that friend is Brian Wecht.

Hi, everybody. Where might people know you? They might know me. I'm half of the comedy band Ninja Sex Party. They might know me from Game Grumps, the podcast Late Night with Brian Wecht. And where else? Starbomb. Starbomb.

Like band. Comedy music in general. In general. Thank you. Thank you for being here today. Can I shake your hand? No. Okay. Starbomb. Like band. Comedy music in general. In general. Thank you. Thank you for being here today. Can I shake your hand? No. Okay.

He always tries to touch. Yeah. I am a toucher. I don't want to disturb the microphones. See, I was planning on Jim sitting there so I could touch him. Here we go. But if he's not going to sit there, then I'm going to have to touch him. I'd be happy to.

Here. Oh, yeah. That's what I needed. Thanks, Paul. That's all I needed. No, it really is lovely to see you guys. I noticed you let go quite forcefully. Well, yeah, I'm trying to do your show.

All right, okay, fine. Okay. All right, wonderful. In that case, it's the other guest I want to get to. I mean, I love you. No, no, please. Don't get me wrong, but you being here is almost ancillary. D-list at best is what I am, so please.

Well, no, I would put you C, because honestly, you're a C in my eyes. I appreciate that. But here, no, is the real star. In my opinion today, I'll be honest, when I sent this email to this guy, I thought he would say no and I wouldn't have to have a panic attack on a day away in Los Angeles. But unfortunately, he said yes. So now I have to deal with the fact that right here, right now,

we are joined by the one and only Tim Heidecker. Hello, sir. Hello, thank you. Thank you for those kind words. We do our best to make our guests wonderful and uncomfortable. How do you make someone wonderful? You need to... Honestly, Paul.

Yeah. Just a little note now. Okay. Take a breath. Think of the word in your head. Picture the word. Yeah. Is that the correct word to say right now?

We are under a little bit of a time crunch, though. We are. And I am racing through this. Okay. Because I don't want to waste Tim's time. Just spout a load of nonsense. No, no. If you would like to have a discussion about the words I choose.

I do. I always do. The words I choose under pressure. As you just sit there. Look at you. Laid back. I'm fine. I'm on the back of the chair.

I disagree with the phrase fine. Anyway. Hello, Tim. Hello. How are you? the phrase fine anyway hello tim hello how are you all right all right good doing all right we don't really do an interviewee thing but i did want to ask you one thing because as people who listen to us probably know a large part of some of our structure is taken from on cinema and i wanted to just ask you very briefly about that because maybe i'm wrong but it sounded like between you and greg it was a not a side hustle for one of the better phrase but it sounded like something you did for a laugh and then it's grown into well the high network and things like that are you surprised by that or is it something that you willingly dove into uh no not surprised it uh it did sort of take on a life of its own from a fan side it was not something that that that uh had a huge audience at first it still doesn't have a huge audience but

um yeah we we did it for fun we did it when we could and the more we did it the more we liked doing it the more we also uh the more we did it the bigger it the bigger the world became not necessarily the audience but the the story yeah the story got bigger and and uh so um i'm never i don't i'm not there's nothing surprising about it but there does feel a certain uh pressure or uh responsibility to do because so much of it we feel has had a very high level of quality to it that there's a responsibility and a bit of a pressure to maintain that you know are you 10 years in oh more than that how many yeah uh well about about maybe 12 years yeah and it has just i mean obviously we're subscribed to the high network we follow it we see the oscar specials and it does seem like half the problem is not so much the content but what do you do to not outdo

or change it and keep it fresh for you because yeah well i mean it's we we've been meeting a lot lately because we're planning on on shooting again soon as soon as i think we can shoot now some of the the strike stuff has kind of worked itself out uh which is very complicated but um yeah we're meeting there's still things that make us laugh i i think when it's all done when it's all said and done you will be able to find the best you know you'll be able to see the peak and the and that might not be where i don't know it's hard it's hard to judge while you're doing it but um there's stories left to be told there's things that we want to resolve in some ways uh and keep in mind and make it keep it funny and surprising and all that stuff and we're constantly

inspired by the world and uh things that we you know new podcasts that we're obsessed with that are awful new new new new hucksters new not you guys yeah no new new scams out there new con men you know they're there there's so many to choose from. So we always have our ear on those particular railroad tracks. I think AI is going to be the next one. Well, we've done a little already, and some of it we use as a practical tool, actually. Like, you know, there might be some investigative journalism happening on the show that will just use AI to help make feel more like one of those poorly produced, you know, YouTube investigative journalist things.

It does take a lot of effort to make something not bad, but you know what I mean? It takes a lot of effort to seem like it's slickly unprofessional to some extent. Yes. So, yeah. And Brian, you slickly unprofessional to some extent. Yes. So, yeah. And Brian, you've got an album out, haven't you? Yes. That's all. Plenty.

Thank you. Okay, great. Thank you. We're done with it. I appreciate that. I would do the same. I don't like being in this position. You understand why you're here. I get it.

You're like a transatlantic buffer between all incompetence. You're at my house. I understand why you had to include me. Exactly. That was the real... Thank God. Jesus. I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain that. Right.

I do want it to be clear. I did not invite myself onto this show. No, no. I wanted you here because, again, we've had you on the pod before, but it's always been in a play this role or do this voting thing. And you were in the first episode when you lived in London. Yeah. So when I lived in London, the first time they did this, as I said, we were comedy friends,

and they were doing it upstairs at a pub, and I was just about to move here, and they had me on stage with them on Sheep Show 1. And did you have to eat something? Sponge. I did. It was a giant bag full of, yeah, I don't remember what, but cheap candies, I think.

Yeah, most people block out. No, Sponge was a stew. Sponge is a sort of candy thing. Now while we're on it, Paul, I thought the other day, wouldn't it be great? What am I going to have for lunch? Sponge.

Wait, is that a real thing? What is the closest thing we have in America to a sponge? It's like a mound. Wait, hold on. Coconut mound. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant just a mound of... That's what they're called though, right? Yes, yes. Mound, coconut mound. Wait, hold on. A coconut mound. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant just a mound of... That's what they're called,

though, right? Yes, yes. Mound, coconut mound. Yeah. It's similar to that in the shape. Okay. It's sort of a pack

with two mounds in it. Is it sponge American, though? No, Mexican. I'm sorry to get hung up on that. Can you spell sponge? S-P-O-N-C-H. I see. Sponge.

Great. Thank you. Sponge for lunch. Who's the sponger of the... Interview segment out of the way. We've got going to crack on so the first thing we do is silverman's platters silverman explain the platters um we i collect vinyl uh novelty vinyl or um unusual vinyl um and then we listen to them and we say whether it's a platter as in it's a legitimate record that we all like or a splatter which is a liquefied record that is shot through some kind of uh a cannon against

the wall you could melt down vinyl and then splatter it willy-nilly being here in los angeles must have must be a great this must be a boon for you we We were in Amoeba yesterday, and I wanted to spend more money and time there, but we had to go. Although I don't know if stuff has been picked over here too much. Well, the thing is, the stuff that I'm into, apart from the novelty stuff, it's like disco and funk sold. So over here is where it was all made.

I mean, you know, from 60s and 70s up to the 80s. And you'll have better exposure. That doesn't mean it all stayed here. No. Because I travel in my band, a tour, my drummer and guitar player, both avid record collectors. And on this tour we did this summer, we went to the smaller cities. And that's where gold can sometimes be. Because the bigger place, you know, you go to or new york all everything's overpriced and all the collector you know the people that know this stuff are

a lot of them live there so you go to like oklahoma city and you hit hit uh gold absolutely and but the thing is as well um in britain you'll have a lot of like rock and roll stuff it's like it's destroyed and you come out here and you can still find like a clean Little Richard single or something where In Good Condition is a thing yeah

and also I mean Amoeba there's nothing there's no record shop that's surprising even in London there's nothing that they do

V-Wendt Tower Records went Virgin Records went and of course I get reissues and all of the reissues

were in there all of them Rough Trade doesn't have that reputation? No, no. I go there, and they have the in-stores, and they kick everyone out. I can't dig in there, and it's like, come on. I was telling these guys, too, that the old Amiibo was even better than the current one.

Oh, I haven't been to the new one yet. Oh, maybe I have. It's great, but it doesn't have quite the extent and the breadth and the weirdness of the one that was there before. You just don't get that vibe here in the uk anymore because that whole industry's been sucked out the the old one had a particularly cool like jazz and classical section in the back where there was just a bunch of weird like old jazz and classical box sets that out of print forever you know operas and stuff that would just be impossible to find anywhere else i think they called a lot of that stuff for the new place.

Yeah. Well, with that in mind, let's crack on. We've got a few tracks for you to listen to today. We're going to play a little bit of them. We're not going to sit for the whole track. But the first one is something we've wanted to talk about in a while. And because it's close to Halloween, we thought we'd present you with a track that you might know,

you might not. I think it's a lost Halloween hit. It's not the Monster Mash, is it? It's not the Monster Mash. What if that was what he had for me like yeah it's the monster man i know we know i know that we all know the monster it would be great if the monster mash just never showed up in england right it's been 60 years and you guys just missed it somehow right the guy sounds like boris karloff what's that about no so this track is called amityville

house on the hill by an artist called Lovebug Starsky, and we're going to play a little bit for you. Lovebug Starsky? Lovebug Starsky is his, well, it's his stage name. His real name, Kevin Smith. No relationship. What year are we talking here? This is 86.

Okay. I'm an eagle. I'm an eagle. I'm an eagle. I'm sorry. Well, I was going to a party in Amityville. Matter of fact, it was the house at the top of the hill. But I wouldn't ever win for nothing in the world except I got an invite for one of my girls. When I got to the house, the grass was over the fence.

The atmosphere around would keep me in suspense. So I rang the doorbell like it ain't no thing. And this gruesome guy came and said, Hello, Swarovski. I understand they call you the love bug. What a cute little bug. I'd like to put you between my fingers. It's the house on the hill. Amityville. House on the hill.

House on the hill. So he grabbed me by the collar, picked me off my feet. And all I could hear was this spooky beat. And when he finally put me down, my heart felt like stomping. The House on the Hill And that's the gist of that. Wow. So, this was apparently a much bigger hit in the UK than it was anywhere else in the world, despite the fact that the artist himself is American. Again, like most good podcasts, we will research our stuff from Wikipedia.

So he's known by the name Lovebug Starsky, American MC, musician, record producer, began his career as a record boy in 1971 as hip hop first appeared in the Bronx, and he eventually became a DJ at the Disco Fever Club in 1978. Apparently, he is one of the two people who may have come up with the term hip-hop. Allegedly. Really? Starsky claimed that he coined the phrase

while trading the two words back and forth while improvising lines with Keith Cowboy of the Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five at a farewell party with a friend who was heading into the army. And that's it in a nutshell. Wow. And then he goes,

I picked up the mic and started saying a hip hop, the hip hoppity hop hop. Yeah, but that's on Rapper's Delight as well. He's saying this is before Rapper's Delight. He's saying this is before that. So we're talking 78 or so.

And then with the height of his career, I'm just going to paraphrase, he ended up going to prison for five years for drugs and violence and then came out and tried to relaunch

his career in Las Vegas where it didn't really pan out for for him and then he passed away a few years ago in 2018 yeah quite quite young yeah sounds like he should have gone to blackpool but or somewhere in england somewhere lower key yes margate is probably good brighton would have been a good scene for him it's what's what's a good hip-hop scene in the UK, actually? Oh, Exeter. I once went to Exeter, and because we were into hip-hop, and we were breakdancing on the street. Sorry, this is new.

You brokedanced? Yeah. Can you do some now? Well, I could probably still spin on my back. I'm going to say this is my house, no breakdancing. No. Okay, I'm just going to put the kibosh on that. We were in Exeter, and we were just just because we looked a bit hip-hop they were

we were like taken in by some local hip-hoppers what like like fagans ragabond ragabond i don't know what you're trying to say i need to take a sit back and imagine the word above me ragamuffin or vagabond i believe vagabond yeah but i think you can see lovebug starsky's lack of judgment there you know the drugs and the violence thing because he puts a captain kirk impression in the middle of his halloween record yes very strange but i can imagine they were he was trying to lean into because didn't let me get this right originally the the whole west coast east coast rap scene began with like monster rap music. What was that genre?

Yes. There was. Yes. Well, novelty. Yeah. Horror novelty was a thing on the West Coast. And one of the one of the first West Coast rap records was a sort of Frankenstein thing, I think, or a mummy. Yeah.

Well, because there's that kind of Houdini freaks come out at night thing as well which that reminds me very much right yeah yeah so yeah love bug he has a very specific uh phrasing which is so thoughts brian what do you make of it would that be something you would listen to at this halloween season oh 100 i love that i thought it was great like it uh like a lot of uh novelty rap uh i should say unlike a lot of novelty rap it wasn't immediately off-putting yeah you know there especially what year did you say that was 86 87 yeah so this is like prime rap and rodney era kind of rap and duke all a lot of really bad novelty rap that that i thought was very solid compared to a lot of that stuff. Because we've talked about this in the podcast before, but in the UK, rap was seen specifically as a novelty thing

for comedians to try and get a foot in the charts. So Kenny Everett had snot rap, for example. And it was all that same kind of real basic rhyme structure, but with the inflection of their character upon it. Almost every comedian did like a comedy rap record. Roll and Rap, we had Morris Minor and the Mages that trying to do Beastie Boys. Rodney Danger comedian did a like a comedy rap record rolling right we had morris minor in the majors that trying to do beastie boys rodney dangerfield did it had a rap rap record rapping rodney yeah and that is a yeah yeah but no i mean i only listen when i'm talking that's fair enough that that rodney rap is pretty great honestly that well the the music

is great the rapping is terrible but the rapping is a pun machine kind of thing isn't it all well timmy's just doing his stand-up well you know like i told you i've got the 12 inch version of the rap in rodney and there's an actually a live set on the other side which is obviously much better yes beautiful and it's one of those ones where he used to have people like uh calling back back to him the you know oh he's like material yeah because they were all like his fans he had a whole sort of uh call and response thing yeah that's cool his joke he had joke families joke categories so it was this before the uh the nightmare on my street no this is after it was a little after i think yeah because yeah that was that was referenced as an inspiration for this track i see um but like there wasn't too

much of it tim what did you think of it would that be something you would play at halloween party i mean no i wouldn't play i wouldn't uh no i i didn't care for any i don't care for that genre yeah uh i don't listen to that i wouldn't listen to that i mean at a halloween party sure yeah i mean throw it on who cares but it wouldn't be on your spotify players no i thought it was self i thought it was like one of those novelty uh or not novelty but like like self-pressed records. I had no, listening to it, I thought it was like something that you found that no one had, I didn't,

I would never have guessed it would have been a hit. It's strange. If you look at like compilation albums in the UK, like now six or whatever it is, you'll see that on side three. Okay. Crazy. But you won't, when I was in Amoeba,

I looked at their now Halloween album. Four sides, not a single one of them had this. It's just a completely ignored track in this country. I'd never heard of it before. No. And it's strange because I thought this would be something that we bring to the plate and maybe, oh yeah, we've heard this move on.

But no, it's weird how it hasn't translated to the country it originated from. Yeah. So, Eli, your thoughts? He's a bullshit artist. Right, to the point, yeah. Like we said before, Amateurville is not on a hill. It's not on a hill. So he's going for Hville is not on the hill it's not on a hill

he's going for haunted house on the hill yeah yeah no so brian platter or splatter sir platter for me oh platter okay tim platter or splatter uh gotta go splatter here fair play i'm gonna say platter just because of the nostalgia value for me and i'm not gonna vote because i want tim to like me uh right so we have our next track, which is. So have you ever heard, Tim, of Stars on 45? Stars on, no. This is an interesting thing. This is, again, one of these things where it seems to have been a bigger hit in the UK.

Certainly more notoriety around it. Well, I was telling these guys I had only heard of it because I forget which Weird Al album it's on. But he has a track called polka's on 45 which apparently is a reference to this series which i didn't clock until fairly recently so they're can i guess that they're sort of um medleys of the hits yeah exactly yeah so we're going to play a little bit of that for you now because we have a few we're not going to play all of utmost so uh let's do this one कर दो कर दो कर दो

कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो कर दो Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, leaning into the rock more than i would think yeah same that's a five minute track and what

you're going to get in those five minutes is Star Wars theme, the Miko take on that. We've got Can't Give You Anything, Kung Fu Fighting, Layla, All Right, Fire, Do You Think I'm Sexy, Martin Baker, YMCA, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, Don't Stop Till You Get Enough, Suicide is Painless for MASH, Get Off, Stars on 45, Baker Street, Get Off, is that the, well, it wouldn't be Prince,

because this was 81. Foxy track. Oh, that's good. Betty Davis Eyes, and then 45, Baker Street. Get Off. Is that the, well, it wouldn't be Prince because this was 81. Foxy Track. That's good. Betty Davis Eyes and then Eve of the War. Oh, wow. The Jeff Wayne. And that's the mixture

you get from that. And this is volume three. Do you know the Jeff Wayne War of the Worlds musical? I don't think so, no. It was a, well, these guys should speak to it.

It was a big hit in the UK and is a straight up musical based on the War of the Worlds. Oh, cool. Very like disco, 70s pop element. It's got elements of prog to it was a big hit in the uk and is a straight-up musical based on the war of the world oh cool very like disco 70s pop element it's got elements of prog to it as well it's got elements of folk honestly pretty great like yeah seek that out it's interesting because again it's one of these things we're in the uk it's it's everywhere like the royal albert hall will do a live performance of it with giant because it's a jeff wayne obviously adapted the war of the world who's jeff wayne did he come from a band or anything like that? Just a guy

The gist of Jeff Wayne Was that his dad was a famous John Wayne Yes, was a famous musician Who wrote musicals His son, Jeff Wayne, worked with him on a few musicals Before working in jingles And then took all the money he made from all this work

And into his passion project Which was I want to do a a concept album around the book and they went through many they went through the center of the earth which ended up being uh jules verne center of the earth which ended up being who done who did that early rick wake wake when okay and so that became this big album sold narrated by richard burton like am i being cynical in thinking maybe he went for war of the worlds because it was out of copyright and he didn't have to pay the... I don't think that's cynical at all.

No, the idea was he wanted to tell a story and he was either looking at HG Wells or science fiction writers at that time. He was going for all of them and eventually War of the Worlds fitted his vision, I think, better because it was grander and more operatic. I'm angry with him because... Jeff Wayne. Yes. Go on.

Because that album, fine, good, you like it Whatever But Thank you I think from like 1980 All the way through that whole decade He released a different exclusive You know

Remastered version of that record Well I want to see something else Well the reason why it was a hit Was because it was getting played on radio stations But they were sick of playing the 17-minute version of, like, Eve of the War. Yeah, the songs are really long. So then he remixed the album for the first time

to make it into singles so that a radio station could play. I mean, that's all in there. That's besides the point, really. Yeah, let's get back to these... So I was on 45. This is fascinating to me because they're Dutch.

They're a Dutch novelty band. That's the name of a band? Yeah, they're one group they're a dutch novelty band that's the name of a band yeah they're what they're one group of musicians i didn't know that either what is the point of it like what what do you when do you when do you listen under what circumstances do you listen to that record parties party but it doesn't make sense for parties to me because it's so abrupt yeah changes they're they're not clever transitions they just like change so what's it and these were popular hugely popular unpopular people parties yeah it was a lazy way of keeping your party going but also it's got that musical blue bull where you go and then it cuts out before the bit maybe for context it was hard to dj then right like you needed the gear and this is sort of a shortcut

but this seems to be a i mean i know this band is dutch but it seems to be a particularly british trend because this ultimately led to i don't know if you know jive bunny oh dude i was just about to say that was a big hit uh it was the swing swing okay swing the mood which was where they adapted a bunch of like 1940s like glenn miller swing stuff uh it's almost exactly the same format as that tiny snippet i remember i have a very clear memory of going on a camp trip to montreal when i was 16 and going to a record store specifically to look for the jive bunny and the master mixers record because you couldn't get the full record here so and it was a bunch of like 50s and 60s stuff in addition to glenn miller didn't it didn't the

glenn miller i could talk about this forever uh i think the swing the mood it had a didn't have a hello baby in there hello baby one of those in there or something like that oh yeah because they mixed the big bopper that's right yeah it was like they laid over so it was like 40s and 50s kind of stuff kind of thing and then they had a whole album off that where they would do a glam one where it was all and then they'd be on top of the pops it'd be a big bunny with the big head like a big furry bunny mixing this was missed all this what years are these 80s yeah i was like 15 16 so like 89 something like that but but this is the thing yes those songs aren't particularly artistically worthy but at the same time it introduced me to music i hadn't heard before that 50s you know run around

sue i first heard, and that became one of my faves. Yeah, Run Around Sue, that's right. And that was like one of my faves. That was about the part of the song I always liked the best when it got to. And then it was like, oh, there's a real whole song.

I think I was introduced to all that music through movies. So you had like that movie Clue. Sure. Had that great, a lot of doo-wop in like late, early 50s. Right, because that was a period. Yeah.

And of course, Back to the Future,. Right, because that was a period. Yeah, and of course, Back to the Future, you know, Peggy Sue Got Married. There's a lot of 80s movies that were nostalgic of the 50s and early 60s.

Stand By Me. Stand By Me. Yeah. When you look at the list of the biggest selling singles of all time, most of the ones at the top

are ones that were hits back in the 50s and 60s and then were in the back in the 50s and 60s and then were in films in the 80s. Yes. People were still buying. Yeah.

I remember hearing a lot of music for the first time from Quantum Leap. Oh. Like, you know, because they would go through from the 40s through the 70s and there was a bunch of, like,

good 50s music there. Because I think it was that idea where these creators were coming through and they were inspired by the things that they enjoyed when they were younger, like the serials and the music. Because I think it was that idea where these creators were coming through and they were inspired by the things that they enjoyed when they were younger like the serials and the

music and like obviously the Blues Brothers was an example of it rescued R&B. The Blues Brothers for me was a big one. You know and it put a lot of those acts back

into the charts again and revitalised their careers and now we see it again because a lot of the films lean into the 80s. That generation that grew up in the 80s is

now making content which is. It doesn't work as a party record.'re right because it's too it's terrible frankly yeah here's the thing so there's a beatles one they did a beatles one because it's a beatles melody but it decides to start with venus and then sugar sugar by the archers archies before it gets into the beatles for no particular reason unless it's that it's a hangover from the previous track on the album. Can I hold something for you? I mean, shall we have that conversation?

Yeah, thank you. Because you know where I'm going to go. Yeah, I know where you're going to go with it. I easily fall into smoke quite quickly. I'm trying to help you. Please, you would be helping me. That's the trick. Right, so let me just do this one again.

So we've got Stars on 45, Beatles. So I'm just going to skip to a little bit into it. your window you know if you break my heart I'll go but I'll be back again cause I told you once before goodbye

but I came back again I hate it. Yeah, same. Yeah, right? It kind of... Wait, so hold on. Yeah. They didn't... It's not...

Is it samples of the original? No. Or they just re-recorded that? Absolutely. I mean with the other one. They they just re-recorded absolutely i mean with the other one they're all re-recorded yeah okay great uh which which surprised me because they did use a lot of abba for some of their stuff and a lot of motown but it was all re-recorded i think it's just before the era when sampling technology came through because drive bunny that samples that's probably drum machines that sounds like it sounds like because this is 1981 these were released and it was huge in the uk absolutely way too big but uh just let

me read this the beatles sound alikes were established dutch singers john lennon's part was sung by mass boys in the 1970s dutch pop group smile and paul mccartney and george harrison's part was sung by sandy Sandy Coast from a band called Hans Verlum I think that's how and a band they also had a band called Rainbow Train

which sounds better than they'll probably sound I like that band name a lot it's a great band Rainbow Train well you are you were wondering about the inclusion of Venus

on the Beatles thing but that's what they called the Venus the original Venus guy Blue Blue Blue I'm just going to let you say the word Venus guy. Blue, blue, blue.

I'm just going to let you say the word blue until you stop. Until you turn blue. They were a Dutch group anyway. Yeah, they were a Dutch group. But then these albums are so popular in the UK for whatever reason, loads of albums. I remember them being played at parties. I remember going to like working men's clubs for Manan's 60th

and someone would just stick on the Now 45 and then go away for a pint. It was that kind of thing. To the point where Chaz and Dave, British Rockne singer songwriters. Did you say rock? Does that mean rocking Cockney? Rockne was a genre. I guess they created, they created a whole genre.

I've never heard of that. Have you never heard of Chaz and Dave? No. Like rabbit. Oh yeah, I did. I just, that song is insane.

Yeah. And the sideboard song. You should play that song. Well, I'll play it for you. Our driver, we just toured in the UK in the spring, and our driver was playing us that. Rabbit, Rabbit.

Rabbit, Rabbit. Have you heard it before? No, no. And the thing that everyone brings up with Chaz and Dave is they are on Eminem. They're the most sampled, one of the most sampled pieces of music ever. It was from Rabbit, right?

Yeah. It was kind of like Boogie Woogie Blues but with a very Cockney, Knees Up Mother Brown kind of attitude. But they wrote songs that I think are just beautiful.

Like, what's that one, the ballad that they did? Ain't No Pleasing You. It's incredibly moving. Stone Cold, beautiful song. So they did a take on Stars on 45 called Stars Over 45 to suggest that maybe the songs that they want to celebrate are a bit older than 1980 or so.

We're going to take this opportunity To sing us some old time songs We've got a clap trap on the off beat And a bass drum on the on Stars over 45 We've got to keep them songs alive Them boys deserve some credit Don't forget it Hit it

Hit it Hit it Hit it Hit it Hit it I'll go window cleaning to an anonymous bob For a nosy potter, it's an interesting job It's a job that just suits me

A window cleaner you would be If you could see what I could see When I'm cleaning windows In my profession I work hard But I never stop I climb this blinking ladder Till I get right to the top Honeymooning couples too You should see them fill and coo

You'd be surprised at the things I do When I'm cleaning windows One, two Is that like a British dance hall song or something? When I'm Cleaning Windows was George Formby. He was a banjo-lele. Right. Wasn't it?

Well, it's similar to the Weird Al's Pocos on 45, which was very entertaining, very clever, very well arranged. But yeah, weirdly, it comes from something lesser. Yeah, sure. Yeah, the stars on 45 is very literal and not funny. Just sort of, we can do this. What I wonder then about the Weird Al thing is,

was, I mean, it's clearly a reference to it. Was that, how was that on his radar? You know, it seems like a British thing. What was the... I'll ask him next time I have to make conversation with him. That would be great. That would be very interesting. You're on a bullshit podcast talking about a megamix of 1981 and could you please define your influences the thing is one

more point on chas and dave they it's sort of trends isn't it you've got the stars on 45 thing there's a lot of party records uh made but because we said like just for parties because it you wouldn't have two decks at a party and so you you put something on, you could just flip it once and you know, everyone could dance. But there's also these Mrs. Mills records, these sort of, I don't know who that is.

She's this sort of middle-aged woman who played the piano and did old sort of numbers. And she sold like 8 million records or something. It's crazy. It's like when you go to a charity shop, here's what you're going to find. You're going to find James last. You're going to find Mrs.

Mills. You're going to find Mantovani. Mantov to find Mrs Mills. You're going to find... Mantovani. Mantovani. In the UK. In the UK, specifically. Because I don't know any of these guys. And Barbra Streisand.

That Streisand and Christofferson record. Wow. It could have thousands of copies of that. It's like a plague, that album. It infuses every charity shop in the UK. But Chas and Dave did their Cockney Jamboree or whatever. So they dipped their toe in that. And they're good, those records.

I've got like 12 inches. So that's similar. That's what I'm saying. They've sort of knew about the whole Stars on 45 sort of format because those Cockney party records around the old piano are kind of that kind of thing as well. But the weird thing about those albums is that they're true to the source of the songs,

which is great. They're keeping those old songs alive. They're also king with some of the rather objectionable phrases and words that were used in some of the music. So it's one of those ones we go, this is a great song. Don't listen to the next 30 seconds and we're back and carry on with it, right?

So, Stars on 45. Brian, let's start with you. Platter or splatter? Splatter. I hated it. Splatter, splatter, splatter. Yeah, yeah. Splatter for me. For me, it reminds me of being alone

in the corner of a working men's club while my nan got pissed and tried to kiss my uncle as that starts. There was some kind of incest controversy in your family. My dad's uncle. You know what? Your dad's uncle. You know what?

Can we, for the sake of my reputation, ignore what I said for the last minute? All right. Is that all right? Can we all agree that sometimes I pick examples that aren't the best for me to pick out? You edit this as far as I'm aware, right but i keep it in i keep it all in because

i was sitting in a working men's club men's club listening to that record and your nan your grandmother was trying to get off but not my my nan's direct uncle it was on my dad's side well i thought so what is a working men's club specifically? A pub. Blue collar bar. Yeah, blue collar bar. I see. It's a pub for the community. So you'd have to be on their books to be allowed to go in and things like that.

Ah, okay. Yeah. So it's like a, no, this isn't the right, VFW type. Yeah, no. Place maybe. They used to have bring your wife night. Ah. Because she was told to stay at home.

And it was all the racist pre-modern era comedians sort of uh were there but really i mean that's when i remember first seeing you know lily savage paul o'grady do you know that i don't know okay big uh big uk comedian uh basically drag before drag exploded he was paul o'grady was one of the first drag acts to really break into mainstream because they were going to do lily savage was like a character and then did blankety blank which you know is the u.s version of match game um anyway stuff like that but it was where i saw a lot of those acts that became mainstream because britain has an eye as a habit of taking the club and this is the 80s 70s 80s they would take all those club acts that were successful and give

them game shows or like entertainment shows to do so that's why you'd have i shouldn't really just go uh ted rogers you know ted rogers right no but this is what's interesting to me is hearing these names which are huge stars presumably in the uk that are not on my radar right at all this makes well i'm a huge uh huge and a lot if you want to talk about my inspiration, is Alan Partridge, Steve Coogan. And I devour everything that he puts out, and up to this day, his audio books, his podcasts. And knowing full well that I'm going to miss 30% of the references. That's right, because there's so much.

But I don't really care. I understand the general, like, it's almost like a placeholder. But he'll make references to all kinds of British television personalities but I don't really care. I understand the general, like it's almost like a placeholder. It was one, you know, but he'll make references to all kinds of British television personalities and chat show hosts and comedians and actors. And I won't know half of them. And then sometimes it comes across your radar later. You're like, Oh yeah.

Yeah. That was, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That happened. It's strange. Cause I mean,

again, we're huge Partridge fans here. There's something about them. I mean, I don't know if there's another comedy character in creation that has that much history too and that much because we're working on it i would say you're only second to that because with partridge it's not just i'm alan party it's the day-to-day it's on the hour yeah it is like the stand-up he did beforehand and it's hard to find a lot of that stuff too like if you miss it what i think is uh yeah some of it is i mean uh certainly the very early stuff yeah i i think it

gets better with age the newer stuff i mean i think the character's funnier now to me than he was 20 years ago the latest podcast from the ost house is funnier than I'm Alan Partridge, you know, because I think it, it started broader or it certainly had a point in it when it was broad and it was playing on, it was playing like the, like the, like Seinfeld would play here, like pretty big with an audience studio audience.

And now it feels like he can kind of just be very weird and dark. And I thought when they made the, the alpha Papa movie was when they kind of transitioned to like, Oh, this is getting really weird and dark and specific. I thought when they made the Alpha Papa movie was when they kind of transitioned to like, oh, this is getting really weird now. I really enjoyed that. But it still somehow holds together because the character is extremely broad and weird.

Well, he's funnier when he's failing and it makes sense that he's, you know, now the podcast is he's trying to rationalize why he's doing a podcast and why he's not on the BBC. It's a great position for that character to be in. The latest book's fantastic because it's about him trying to find a new purpose now that things are working out. There's the whole idea of easy tackling

council culture to an extent, but also the whole idea of rehabilitating old landmarks because it gets you a TV deal. Yeah, that's all he can. It's beautiful. One aspect of that might be that he's more appropriate age for the character than he used to be

it's like Bob Dylan a little bit I love Bob Dylan I'm a huge Bob Dylan fan but as an older man his music almost makes more sense than a 22 year old kid singing you know what I mean great point thank you very much right let let's move on our section then we'll do the price of shite you

want to do the thing do the thing do the thing it's the fucking price of shite it's the fucking price of shite it's the fucking price of shite it's the fucking price of shite that's not how the theme goes halfway through i had done it wrong but i thought as a professional co-host have you taken it out to bounce away with that have you taken any what any thoughts that just slowing down internal no why would i why start now oh ten years so i do the end bit then it's the funny thing to me is you're the one that's drinking the Red Bull. So I don't know how that's happening. Is he psychically

transferring over to him? What? The nervous energy? Depositing your... Depositing... What? Okay. It's the fucking

Price is Short. No, you fucked me up now. I was going to say this sounds exactly like the thing he just did. How does the fucking thing... We've been doing it for years, how does it go? We could spend ten minutes working this out, or we could just do the game itself.

Well, we've got fucking shit items. Also, Paul, it's not the fucking Price is Shy, is it? It's the fucking Price is Shy adjacent. It's part of the same segment. It's all part of the beautiful world that we call Cheap Show. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite.

That's right. Thank you. If you do want to go for a walk while we're doing this, we can go ahead and do that. Right, so we have... But just to let everyone know who's listening, we won't be guessing the prices of these items,

will we? No, we're going to be showing them one by one and you'll say, again, in that whole lovely... Shitification of this podcast, we'll be making be showing them one by one, and you'll say, again, in that whole lovely... Shitification of this podcast, we'll be making binary decisions on the item. So we went to a charity... We went to a Goodwill store just off Third Street Promenade,

and we... It smelled so badly of human defecation. It smelled pretty bad in there, to be fair. There's a weird thing that I've noticed about... In Britain, the thrift stores, the charity shops, are kind of like going into someone's spooky attic and looking at all the cool shit that they have there and then, oh, I'll have that.

Oh, taking it away. Here, it just feels like they've just dumped things on the shelf and then people tear away at them and then go and buy what they've got left because it's mostly clothes. I think that's pretty fair, yeah. Yeah, and also, hugely overpriced. Well, it sounds like you're in Santa Monica.

We were. This is like going to the nicest part of London. Yeah, it's like Islington, I guess, or High Street, Kent, I guess. Something like that. But even by those standards. Notting Hill. Yeah, Notting Hill is also a counter. I mean, do you have any other nice places in London you want to?

Kensington. Hampstead Village. Hampstead, of course. I thought you were born in America. I was born in Hampstead Village. So I've got five items, one of which I did buy in in the uk and you'll have to figure out which one that is okay so here's the first thing we bought it is called a phone holder now we do have those in america this is something you wear around your neck sure yeah okay here we go like this looks a bit like a

stethoscope it does doesn't it and then you put it here and then that goes on here like that oh my god and then yeah this is a sample phone just so, my God. And then, yeah, I don't know. This is a sample phone, just so you know what the thing looks like. I can use that. Yeah, that's actually very smart, very practical. And then it's like, hello. Right. Yes, it would work.

Immediately fell. Wait, can I touch it? You've broken it. No, I just didn't screw the knob on tight enough. Well, that's what I've heard. I've heard that. It's actually far sturdier than I would have thought. Do you want to get in on this?

Yeah, it would be great. Oh, I hate that. And then you can talk loudly on the bus. Definitely without the phone holder on it, it's pretty off-putting with just the knob. Yeah. So what are we saying about this? Yes or no?

This cost $9. And this, I honestly guarantee, if I went to the UK and got something similar, it'd be one or two quid. Perhaps, is this supposed to be lightly used? Perhaps? I don't know. Okay, who knows. Whatever you want to take away from that. There's your first item. Paul, I think I've got

the binary. Is this thrift store gold, or is it getting old? No. You don't often come through, but that works. I thought that was great. I like that. I'm going gold. I'm kind of jealous, I kind of crave that.

If you want to take anything- Simply for masturbatory purposes. It's true, it's a hands-free sex device, isn't it? Yeah, you can get both holds around the back, also it could double- Cup holder to the side. It could double as a sort of avant-garde necklace. You know what, I'm gonna say, given that you put your phone in it and the phone immediately

fell to the ground, I'm going to say getting old. It really did not demonstrate its utility to me. That could be a user issue and not the item. It could be, but I don't have enough information.

Look at me. So, Tim liked it. What about you? You didn't like it. I said getting old. We said getting old. Tim said gold. Gold, yeah.

Anything you want from this pack you can take home as a gift from us. Reminder, don't reveal where you got it. Yeah. Anything you want from this pack, you can take home as a gift from us. Reminder, don't reveal where you got it. Yeah. What is this like? It's a Nerf walkie-talkie. Works up to 1,000 feet.

Oh. It's stretching the Nerf brand too thin already because I can see they're not soft. No, you could throw this at someone's head and it would hurt. They would say that's not Nerf. You do have to clean this up. I thought you were doing that. No, I it look turn it on hello i couldn't hear that

i'm gonna go outside is this what's the talk is this the talk button on the side oh no wonder i couldn't hear you keep the channel open hello I'm Paul Gavin in the garden I can't hear you can you hear me Jack over no over roger

you can come back inside we're kind of short on time now back in I'm frightened it's great I'm frightened. It's great. I'm angry with me. It's a decent walkie-talkie. It does. It works well.

Yeah. The sound quality is actually pretty good on this dude. So he heard that. We heard it, but I can't say... I think we were talking over you. I'm going to come back in. Come back in. Yeah, come back in.

Over. Roger. No, Paul. Well, one day you'll get it right. That was... That was great. Surprisingly quite good. Yeah, come back in. Over. Roger. No, Paul. Well, one day you'll get it right. That was surprisingly quite good. That was good, decent. Given the walkie-talkies that I got as a kid, these are far better.

Yeah, that's a, what is it again? A good thing. Gold. Gold. Gold. Great for kids. I'll go with gold on that, too. I think we're going to use it when we go for a walk later in the week.

My nine-year-old would lose her mind if later in the week. My nine-year-old would lose her mind if she saw that. If your nine-year-old wants to have that. Oh, are you kidding me? No, you can take that. I'm not putting that

back in my suitcase and taking it all the way home. If I can get a good home here. Oh, she'll love it. Cool. Item number two. Item number three. This one I quite like the most.

It must be from England. Butterboard. What's a butterboard, you ask? What is a butterboard? According to thisland butterboard what's a butterboard you ask what is it according to this butterboard is inspired by the zen idea of living in the moment you simply paint on the surface with water and your creation will come to life in bold design then as the water slowly evaporates your art will magically disappear leaving you with a clean slate and a clear mind it's like a much easier mandala yeah it's it's basically Etch-a-Sketch. So it comes with

a little stand, a little thing like this. I think it's disrespectful to Buddhists. In what respect? Well, you wouldn't call it a Christ board, would you? Or a Muhammad board. Don't call it a Muhammad board. Christ was too wild. What if you drew Muhammad on that?

That would be Well then it would evaporate half the time That's a good philosophical question Eli You need wet wet There's nothing That's coffee

That's water I did look into it before I dipped my brush Oh yeah That seems very relaxing Honestly I was not on board But now I am, this is very cool It's quite a nice brush actually

How long does it stay like that? About a few minutes, and then it dries out and fades away So it's meant to be Buddhist, why? Because everything must flow This is honestly pretty cool Everything passes, does it? I guess, all things must What if you, I don't know, you discovered Some kind of secret

the secret to enlightenment take a picture and then it's gone yeah I wouldn't use it to write notes for the forthcoming show just in case at all

oh that great idea I wrote down again I'll say this is honestly the perfect kid toy because it's they can do art stuff you can't really

make too much of a mess I have to say something you claimed the walkie talkies i'm claiming this yeah do it i think that's fine if you want to have a manly fight in the garden as i throw water at you and go come on you sex beasts we can do that i i like this thing a lot this is gold okay but we don't know whether that was i have a 10 and a 7 so they're gonna if you want it it's yours right next item this is a quick one walk disney simple science it's a book from disney that teaches simple science so i'll let you

i'm gonna jump and suggest this is from the uk why do you think that i don't know it doesn't seem like our disney products would be uh this educational here I think they outsource that to the other countries, but I might be wrong. There was a range of these books. There was everything from maths to creativity. Oh, I'm wrong because there's a... Oh, that's a receipt from a different thing altogether. You can use that as a bookmark, I believe.

So Walt Disney teaches simple science. Brian, as a science-minded man, have you explained that yet about your science background? No, I haven't't so before I left to do comedy full time I was a professor of theoretical physics oh cool

so I me too yeah most people were very similar so I used to used to be a professor I'll be honest there doesn't seem to be

any science in it I'm almost 50 years old I can't read this in this light alright okay do you want to borrow my glasses no we don't have to read it at all.

I think we should just move on. But that's the next book. Walt Disney. You can do Alphabet, Numbers, Adventures, and Colours and Shapes. Yeah, it's a nice looking book. It's got to be from the 80s. Oh, I don't... That's a good question.

I think this is... I was trying to check a date. I couldn't find a date. It could be earlier. Fuck me. I also need my glasses. This is tragic. No, there is no date, actually.

Oh, there is no date? No. I think it is feels right. But yeah, there's a whole range of them and they're all designed to teach kids and using the IP of Disney to impart knowledge, which can only be a good thing. I like.

84. 84. Ooh, that was in the Adulterums era of Disney where they were doing anything they could to keep the brands going. Yeah. And finally, the final book. Oh, no.

Gold or old? I feel like I can't make an informed judgment, so I'm going to be charitable and say gold. As an American, do it anyway. I'll say gold. Gold. I like the whole look of it. I like the design, yeah.

Yeah, the design's great. I'll say this is thrift store gold as well. I'm giving that one to my mum because her living room is a walk-in Disney store and it's repulsive, actually. We've got peter pan doing refraction that's cool that's who i turn shadows oh that makes sense for him yeah um huey louie and dewey making a cake with their gran great look their gran is snogging uh another relative so the final thing is difficult riddles for smart kids 300 riddles and brain teasers

that kids and families will love. I'm going to impress upon you a few now. We'll start with Brian. Okay. I am a cold man without a soul. Right now for the riddle. I am a cold man without a soul. If there is a warmth in me,

it will slowly kill me. What am I? I'm going to say I'm a snowman. I am a snowman. That's not hard. Hell yeah. Do you want a hard one? No.

I'll give you a hard one. I don't want to do it. Yes, okay. It's carry on cheap show. Okay, Eli, we'll do you. I'm ready. At school, Joe has three friends, Tim, Violet and Paige.

Two of them play football. Two play tennis. Two play golf. This is a good school. The friend who doesn't play golf doesn't play tennis and the. Two of them play football, two play tennis, two play golf. This is a good school. The friend who doesn't play golf doesn't play tennis and the one who doesn't play football doesn't play golf.

I'm out. Paige doesn't play football. I need another riddle. I'm out. I'm not doing this. I don't care about any of those people. Well, fuck them and they're stupid.

They sound like preppy wankers. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive and runs when it's dead? Cheese. Cheese runs when it's... and runs when it's dead. Cheese. Cheese runs when it's... What were the three again? It says what flies when it's born,

lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead. Hmm. I gotta say, I think I'm stumped on this. Runs when it's dead. It must be melting. Melty. Yeah.

What is it? Butter? I don't know why you're making that noise, man. Because I'm excited that you're close to the answer. Oh, cheese. No. It's something that melts. It's a snowman again.

Is that the... This is... This is disturbing. That noise is really putting me off. The answer... I agree with you. The answer, number 69... An ice sculpture. I'll give you

that. It's a snowflake. It runs. It flies when it's born, so it's in the air. It lies when it's alive, rests upon the snowy ground, and then runs when it's dead, as in melts into water and dribbles away. Very poetic. I might object to the use of the word

alive there. Yeah, absolutely. Terrible. Right, we'll end with this one. I hate riddles. Tim, we're going to end with this one. Yeah, riddles and fuck me off. This is an evil riddle, apparently. This word, what word looks the same upside down

and backwards at the same time? What word looks the same upside down and backwards at the same time? Yes, so there is a word in the English language. I that's the word boob ooh poop no because that would be boob yeah is it ooh uh you are close no you're not close i said that hi no no what's a letter no one's leaving here until they fucking get this what about oh about O-Ho? Dad. O-H-O? O-Ho? No. Come on.

Oxo. Oxo. I mean, you're right. There are probably lots of words that may be... Oxo does. Oxo works. What word looks the same upside down? It's a brand of gravy cube. Yes, it's a kitchen, but I wouldn't say it's a word.

It's not a word. It's a proper noun, isn't it? So what word looks the same upside down and backwards at the same time? The answer is... Swims. Sure. You are so not impressed with that. So, is it gold or is it old, Mr. Brian?

Old. And Mr. Tim? Gold. And Mr. Eli? I'd say old. I don't like the cover art either. Right, in that case, I will end by saying, which one do you think is the UK item? Brian, start with you. And Mr. Tim. Gold. And Mr. Eli. I'd say old. I don't like the cover art either. Right, in that case, I will end by saying, which one do you think is the UK item?

Brian, start with you. Oh, I think I'm going to have to go to the Disney book. Something about the typography on this that, I don't know, it doesn't seem British to me. And the other ones seem British, so I'm going to say that. Fair. Tim, what have you got for us? I'm also going with the Disney book.

Fair play. And Eli? I know the answer to this, so I don't think it's fair for me to throw my hoop in Do you throw a hoop in? You can Throw my shoe into the ring Hat Towel, hat, shoe, ring

Got it, the answer is You were right, it is the Walt Disney Super Saiyan First instinct First gut Something about the yellow I don't know is you were right it is the what gives me supersized book first instinct first gut something about the yellow I don't know you thin sliced it and you just knew yeah there was a level because I feel like I was familiar

with a lot of the American versions of those things that I had when I was a kid and that doesn't look like the stuff I had the yellow I would never you know something about the color but then I was worried because then I saw Bantam Books which is I believe an American publisher now to be fair

this was published in Canada America all that counts is where you got it all that counts is where I got it and where we got it

was where you got it right so that is that and that is Cheap Show for this week I just want to thank Brian Wecht for coming along today

thank you very much Tim Hydeck for gracing us with your presence we are deeply appreciative and Eli as ever thanks Paul thank you and I I want to thank Tim Hydeck for gracing us with your presence. Thank you, Tim. Deeply appreciative. And Eli, as ever. Thanks, Paul. Thank you.

And I just want to thank Leighton who's been managing this today. Thank you very much. You can speak. You're not a silent partner. It's fine. You're not allowed to speak? No, you're not allowed to speak.

You've been always welcome to chip in. Do you want to come sing? Come, come, come, come, come. And tell them, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, tell them about your podcast as well. Do it. Brian and I co-host a show

called Leighton Night with Brian Wecht where we do comedy interviews and talk about cum a lot. Can I about your podcast as well. Do it. Brian and I co-host a show called Late Night with Brian Wecht, where we do comedy interviews and talk about cum a lot. Can I say cum on this show? Please do. Great. In fact, it's been mostly what we've been doing for 10 years here. We are spooge crazy.

Yeah. Usually. It's only when we have guests that we turn it down. We have so many words for it. Spoff. Spoff is a great word for it. It's your favorite word for it, isn't it? It's my favorite word. Anyway, Tim doesn't need to hear about what words we have for cum.

Tim, I know anyone who listens to this knows about you, but point them in the direction of what you'd like to talk about, what you'd like to extol today. Oh, join us every Thursday morning for Office Hours Live. We absolutely have a blast. We've been on a real tear, and it's a lot of fun. It's a live call-in show that we do in the mornings, and we've been doing it strong for years.

And is that online? How do it's on uh youtube we have a patreon patreon.com slash office hours live or uh yeah it's a podcast for me it's a tv show it is a tv show it's multi-cam okay it's in my garage yes a visual element to it but it's also it, it started as a podcast, it still is. Great, I will check that out, because I only know One Cinema. And if anyone wants to do check out One Cinema, don't start with the recent stuff. You're going to have to go back 10 years and start with it. And please do.

It's a beautiful slice of comedy genius, and so that's all I want to say. Look, as I say, I'm awkward and weird, but I do want to say thank you, Tim, for coming along today. It means the world to us while we're out here. Enjoy your stay in California. You got a nice week. Are you here for the rest of the week?

We're here till Thursday. We're going to do a bit around the bound. It'll be a beautiful week. Doing Disney with these guys on Wednesday. And that's all we need to talk about. You can source support us if you want to source support us

on patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Years and years of extra videos and behind the scenes things as well as the amazing Cheap Show magazine that event does for us. Please check out noiseland's uh youtube channel because he's done our new theme tune and also did top-notch western romance so please check him out and everything else is thecheapshow.co.uk for everything else that's your one-stop shop

and that's it eli final thoughts i don't have any that's it okay see you next week on the cheap show bye bye everyone bye bye thanks folks bye Eli can get fucked I am daddy Gannon cool

sweet sweetheart of LA have all the ladies love me all the gentlemen wanna be me and they see me

walking down the strip and they know who I am and a big ball Gannon and I'm driving a van and my vine goes bing down my wheel goes

bush town my vine goes bing down my wheel wheel goes bush-hound The vine goes bing down, the wheel goes bush-hound Cos he's the cool cat now, he's the cool cat, cool cat of LA Cos he's the cool cat now, he's the cool cat, cool cat of LA Oh, they must be coming for me, cos I'm a cool cat, cool cat of LA Baddie, Ganon, cool Cos he's the cool cat now, he's the cool cat, Cool Cap of LA Baddie, Gammon, Cool Cos he's the Cool Cap now He's the Cool Cap, Cool Cap of LA

Oh, they must be coming for me Cos I'm too fucking red hot sexy Er, don't trust me I'll frost ya They must be coming for me Cos I'm too fucking red hot sexy Er, don't frost me I'll frost ya

I have needs Yeah A man with needs, Paul Finger bash my finger hole Just saying, I have needs Yeah A man with needs, Paul. Finger bash my finger hole. Just saying. I have needs. Yeah. A man with needs, Paul.

Finger bash my finger hole. Is that all you've got now? Yeah. Cos he's the cool cat now. He's the cool cat, cool cat of LA. Uh-huh. Cos he's the cool cat now. He's the cool cat, cool cat of LA.

Uh-huh. Paul Gannon. Cos he's the cool cat now. He's the cool cat, cool cat of LA Uh-oh Ball of gas He's the cool cat, meow He's the cool cat, cool cat of LA Baddie, Gammon, cool He's the cool cat, meow He's the cool cat, cool cat of LA Finger bash my finger hole

Cool cat of LA Finger bash my finger on The Cat of LA You must be coming for me Because I'm too fucking red hot sexy And we're done Thank you You're welcome