CheapShow - Ep 36: The Car Boot Challenge Special

Episode Date: February 28, 2017

The CheapShow chaps have escaped! Instead of being cooped up in a recordng studio, Eli and Paul are now loose in London, on a quest to find the best bargains at a Car Boot sale with only £5! Along the way we discover where Eli was once mugged, how indecisive Paul is, just how weak Eli is when confronted with a table full of vinyl and contemplate the meaning of their own existance. Who will win this battle of the bargains bins? With only 30 minutes on the clock, who will find the best bric-a-brac and who will suffer a humiliating defeat? Find out in this very special edition of CheapShow, on location! Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! You can see pictures and accompanying videos for this episode on our website www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... all that jazz! WARNING *Show contains strong language and adult material

Hello, welcome to another episode of Cheap Show. This is Paul Gannon saying hello. Before we start, this is something different I thought we'd try and do, meaning like getting out and about and visiting a car boot sale and taking our interesting brand of comedy and podcast out into the real world. Now, with that in mind, if you liked it, tell us. And also, one of the things I wanted to mention just at the top of the show is that we are thinking of asking for money. I know, right? Cheap Show being cheap and all that. But we're thinking of asking for money. I know, right? Cheap show being cheap and all that.

But we're thinking of starting a Patreon. And we want to give rewards out and offer things to people for donating because that's amazing. It doesn't take much for us to run this podcast, but we're thinking if we can cover our costs and maybe use it to buy things for the show, for cheap eats or for a PO box for you to send things to, that's kind of what we're thinking.

We're not thinking about buying Eli a golden toilet. Although, now that I've mentioned it, he may want a golden toilet. But anyway, if you have any ideas what you'd like us to do for Patreon, get in touch with us at thecheapshowpod is our Twitter account, where you can reach out to us there

and give us suggestions, or on our email, thecheapshowatgmail.com. Get in touch with us there and tell us what you'd like us to do for Patreon. We're trying to get an idea of the feedback on that. Now, I'm going to shut up. Enough of all that. Here's the episode.

We hope you really liked it. We had a lot of fun making it, and we'd like to make more. Take it away. Thanks for watching! Hello and welcome to a very special edition of Cheap Show. Well, not that special. We're just not doing it in a studio. I'm with Eli. Hello. You look like shit, mate.

Oh, well, I haven't... Do that again. No, I like that. Ask me the question again. You all right, Eli? Yeah, that's a question that you ask someone politely. Not, you look like shit. How are we going to start the show with you look like shit?

You do look like shit, though. You look tired. I'm tired. You're like the most How are we going to start the show with you look like shit? You do look like shit, though. You look tired. I'm tired. You're like the most tired lion in the world. I have not slept very well. Because we had to get up for this fucking shit. And also, I'd just like to say, any aspect of today's show that is a competition, I should have some kind of sleep deprivation handicap.

Yeah. Alright? So I win. Yeah. All right? So I win. Right. Okay? You're just announcing it now. As long as that's understood. All right, okay, it's understood.

So here's the plan. Right, here's what we're doing. We have decided that on a lovely grey Sunday morning in London, Eli and I will go to a... Is it a car boot sale? It certainly is a car boot sale, yes car boot sale in Holloway Road in London. They don't have flea markets in this culture. No.

Right, so stop trying to Americanise the pod. Fuck's sake, I just thought that was the phrase for it. It's not the, what, and then we go to the 7-Eleven and get a big Slurpee or something? You're fucking right tardy this morning, aren't you? Well, I have not, like, okay. Expect some vinegar and I will win. Yeah, so we're at Eli's flat in London. I

stayed the night. Eli was DJing all night. Tales from the dance floor. You met someone who said, can I have a birthday suggestion and you said no and they were a bit upset. Well, yes, you've nicked my bit. Just get it out of the way. So you've had like, what, three, four hours sleep?

Yeah, in the realm of four or five. I'm not very rested. Well, we'll not be out long, too. No, I'll say that again. We'll not be out long. We'll not be long out. We'll not be too long. We're not going to be long outside.

So you can come back and have a little nap. I'm not going to be long outside. I'm can come back and have a little nap. Not going to be long outside. I'm going to be short as fuck outside. Oh, yeah. So, just what you need to do right now is lay out the lay of the land out. Yeah, lay the land out. So lay out the lay

of the land out. Right. So, we are going to a car boot sale in Holloway Road. It's open every Sunday. Free entry, which is Holloway Road it's open every Sunday free entry which is good and it's basically a little car boot sale where everyone gets shit from their house puts it on a table usually used

for applying paste to wallpaper what do they call it? workman's table and then they put all their shit out and then you buy it What do they call it? Workman's table. Yeah, workman's table. And then they put all their shit out and then you buy it. Some people are professionals. Oh yeah.

You get dealers who deal stuff, don't you? Yeah. I'm quite excited. I've never been. Never been to one of these. I've never been to a car boot sale. I'm never up this time of the morning. It's always on the weekend, you know?

Yeah, well, it's the only day I could do it. It's the only day anyone could fucking do it. Yeah, because it has to be Sunday. That's when they're open. Otherwise, it makes no sense. So, we're going to go and we're going to investigate what you can get at a car boot sale in London. But to make it a bit more fun,

Eli and I are going to have a little challenge. We're going to have a budget of £5 each and we're going to try and find as many interesting items for a fiver as possible right? yeah and then what?

then we'll who wins? how do how yeah because obviously we know our budget's a fiver

so we're not going to go over that so it's not it's not going to be a guessing game, is it, of the price? Well, you could do a little price of shite. We could do a little price of shite. Let's just make it two price of shites. A price of shite off. And then between us, we'll decide who did best.

Yeah, all right. And that will be me. And it will be arbitrary. It will be myself. Why? Because I didn't get much sleep. So the handicap will just kick in. We need to have some ground rules. And what's more,

you will buy Ghostbusters stuff. Maybe, if there is some. You'll buy vinyl. I'm not going to buy vinyl. I think that would be churlish. Churlish? No. Alright, okay. I shouldn't buy vinyl, should I? No. Alright, maybe if I see a very

interesting piece that fits the format, as in a racist nostalgia record. Because I'm not going to... What's a nostalgia record? I like it when I hung them from the tree. No, I mean a novelty. Yeah. A dodgy, un-PC novelty record.

All right, okay, that's acceptable. Anything by Brucey. Well, he's got an oeuvre to pick from you'd never see his singles no never he must have

had some there probably or he's part of those albums where it was like live

from the London Palladium track 7 Brucey sings if I found a single

by him called yeah you'd have to buy that how would you spell that

I think it's a YJ BB BIB B okay so we're gonna we'll have a little Yeah, you'd have to buy that. How would you spell that? I think it's a Y-J-B-B-B-I-B-B. Okay, so we'll have a little price of shite off. Once we return to... We can't buy stuff for ourselves, right? Because we're trying to impress the other with what we buy.

So you could buy one excellent thing and I buy five small, cool little things, you know? Or vice versa. We can't judge you by quantity. It's got to be quality. And it's got to be we've got to step back and say for a fiver, that's a little find. Okay. Right?

We'll never agree and I will win. Also, just to let our listeners know where we are, we are in the ante room to the House of Pickles, basically. Here in my lovely flat in Haringey. You've not done any of the dishes. It stinks in here. Here's a slight niff of that.

So what? It looks like the flat from bottom right now. Yes, but what am I not? Provably a tramp, thank you i was gonna say you can't be a homeless person paul if you have a home yeah and my home is the house of pickles which is just over there yeah i know we've your house of pickles smells more like doritos yeah strange strange thing we noticed last night had a very sort of cheese Doritos quite a light odour you know when you've just finished a packet

of cheese Doritos and you sort of sniff the bag I was going to say is it a Doritos smell or is it the processed Doritos smell you know when you've had a big bag and then you go to bed and you wake up in the morning to find you've had night trumps no it's not a farty smell.

No? Is it not that kind of cheesy, Dorito-y, farty? Do you know what I haven't never seen? Do you know what I haven't never seen? You haven't never seen... Gherkin crisps. Okay. They are missing a trick.

Well, if you're listening, Mr. Walkers. I bet there are. That would be a great addition to the House of Pickles. Some pickle flavoured crisps. Mate, your room does not need any more pickling. It really doesn't. Your room is pickled. Right.

It's the House of Pickles. You're the only human being I know who has a pickled body. I don't have a pickled... Stop! It's just... It's a constant attack. I'm tired. I'm doing this. Shall we just get ready and get ready to go? Yes. Stop. It's just, it's a constant attack. I'm tired. I'm doing this.

Should we just get ready and get ready to go? Okay. We need to go. Okay. We might have missed some of the best bargains already. We go. We're out of here in five minutes and then we'll give you a report once we are in situ. In situ.

Right, we're off. We're off. How's the weather, Eli? It's cold, very cold And overcast It's that kind of cold that creeps into your bones That's so bizarre In a I thought I didn't

You fucked that In a piece It's grey, very grey day But we're just going to get some cash out Then we're going to get in the bus You fucked that up. You fucked that up. So. In a piece. It's grey. Very grey day. But we're just going to get some cash out then we're going to get in the bus from Eli's top secret abode, Haringey Green Lanes, to Nags Head, Holloway,

and it's the number 29. Good. Famously one of the bendy buses that our lord and saviour Boris Johnson got rid of. Well, there you go. We're not getting the 29.

That's a bendy bus though. They stopped doing that a long time ago because they were lethal. That's what I was trying to say. Boris got rid of them after bringing them in. No.

Ken brought them in. Oh. Is there anyone outside of the UK or even London? That's not going to be much interesting for you, but Eli's trying to give the podcast colour. I'm trying to give it colour and feedback. I mean, background. Right, I'm going to get some cash out.

Do we need to get that 29? No, they come every two minutes. All right, OK, hang on. Update. Just about to get the bus. Oh, you come every two minutes. All right, okay. Hang on. Update. Just about to get the bus. Oh, you've got your money. Oh, good. So I'm going to have to

top up my oyster because I left my contactless debit card in the house. So are you going back to the house? No, I'll just top up my oyster. You literally left the house

two minutes ago and there's already problems. Right, I'll just top up my oyster. All right. Are we getting food or coffee or anything? Yeah yeah we might as well do that at the same time right yeah let's do this so about to get the bus now let the bus stop we got a coffee that you got for me it's very nice thank you well i had uh some and this will be of interest to some of our more economizing listeners that's not a word i had'm having a real problem with words this morning.

That's my job. I haven't had much sleep. But yes, our more economically minded listeners will be interested to know that I cashed in on a loyalty card at my local coffee Emporia. Emporium.

I shouted you. Yours, didn't I, Paul? That was nice of you. I was very impressed by this. Immediately I was interested in altruism. Yes and I'm suddenly feeling a lot perkier than about a minute and a half ago because of this fine fine coffee. Good and the bus is coming in now the 29 taking us en route to our destination which is Hollow Holloway Road, car boot sale, every Sunday. Every Sunday. Free.

Hopefully. Some of the ones I looked at had quite a nominal entrance fee, like 30p and stuff. Or early entry was like a quid or two. Oh yeah. If you get there before. I've seen that though. I'll talk about it later, but I've seen that in action. Scrimmage. People who get their crack of dawn.

Scrimmage. And they act like, yeah, you might want'll talk about it later, but I've seen that in action. Scrimmage. People who get their crack of dawn. Scrimmage. And they act like... Yeah. You might want to talk for a while, mate. Right, let's get the bus. Let's get the bus. Right, we're on the bus. We're nearly at the bus stop. It's very exciting. Yeah, we're almost there. We're just going past the Michael Sobel Sports Centre.

Who's Michael Sobel? Sobel, I have no idea, but I do know that I once tried to attend a rave there and got mugged. Just on that wall down there. Oh, I see. How much did they take? I didn't have any money. He gave you cash. No.

Not funny. Come on. I'm trying to add colour and you're just being a dick. So, yeah, he just took my ticket, which turned out to be lucky because it was a notorious rave and about three people got stabbed. Oh, wow. So you didn't get to go in, but as a result you did not get stabbed. Yes, I just went home and... Cried? No, I was on drugs.

Well, there you go, a little bit of colour for you, ladies and gentlemen. So, just to update you, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to the car boot sale. We each have £5 to get interesting stuff, and then we will play the price of shite with that stuff. So there's two

contests. There's the artistic contest, who gets the best bargains, interesting items. It's the artistic contest. Who gets the best bargains, interesting items. It's all a subjective choice that we won't agree on, but I will win. And then... You've made that abundantly fucking clear now. The price of shite is an actual contest.

Played by the rules. Two points on the nose. One point within 50p. Right, okay, good. I'm glad we've cleared that up. Right, are we getting off here? Like, literally right now? Alright, okay, OK, good. I'm glad we've cleared that up. Right, are we getting off here? Like, literally right now? Right, OK, bollocks.

Run, run. Do you have any colourful stories about Holloway? No. Nothing? No interesting stories of where you've pissed, shat, been mugged, anything like that? No, I've told you the story, Paul. Just stop... What, have you got... You know what I mean? I've told you the story Paul just stop what have you got you know I mean this is out the blue I'm just realizing that if we don't

give some content of this could be a very short podcast and I'm just trying to add in bits of our journey this is us walking now through Holloway past the Odeon cinema where opposite is where the car boot sale is I can't see anything there no well it's down an alleyway, isn't it? So I think we have to go down an alleyway coming up on the right-hand side now.

That's what we'll see. So that's the plan. Hopefully it exists. If it doesn't exist, what do we do? Have we got a plan B? We'll just go to a charity shop. Mate, that's not the fucking point.

This is a market car boot open. There, sign. Everyone's going in. We spotted it now. Right, okay. This is very exciting stuff. Past the NatWest. See, sign. Everyone's going in. We've spotted it now. Right, okay. This is very exciting stuff. Passing that way. See, it's in a school yard.

I told you, didn't I? Right, let's go in. Let's have a little quick look at our surroundings and then report back of what we've seen so far. All right, then. Okay, I'm excited. Right, so we've had a quick look through the surrounding car boot sale area.

Just a very quick look. We've had a little recce. Look at what's on offer just generally speaking. What were your first impressions there Paul? I was a bit depressed. Yeah it's grey day and there's lots of secondhand shoes and bin bags and stuff. It's very much your... Bin bags for sale. Yeah. I mean, I felt sad walking through. So this is a great episode, yeah. Eli and Paul go and get depressed by poverty. There might be some nice bits in there, though.

We just don't know. We might find some treasure. Yes, I'm hoping to find some prime shite. Yeah. And put it in your face right okay put my shite all up in your grill

the point is we're having this little chat now because I'm going to go get a Greggs get a coffee I need a coffee and another Greggs yeah

it's amazing listener that Paul just knows where the Greggs is he's got a Greggs dar I home in on it he just knows in his gut his gut

his waters point him to Greg's. Yes. So that's what we're going to do. And then we're going to start our report. Have a little look around. So you've got your own recording system. So you'll record your thoughts as you go around. All right.

Yeah. Okay. And five pounds, yeah? Yeah. And remember, you can tell your recording device what you've bought. Because until I edit this, I won't know what we've bought until the end. So end so it'll still be a surprise okay and i'd just like to make one thing clear yeah if you buy any ghostbusters related items right uh i've won the moral victory all right that's fair enough you may have won in terms of getting an item you like but that's not the game that's

not the game that is not the game all right so okay after greg's anyway greg's greg's That's not the game. That is not the game. All right, so... Okay, after Greggs. Anyway, Greggs. Greggs. In a horrible, in a horrible ten of events, Greggs was found to be closed on a Sunday,

and I forgot that fact. Your waters didn't warn you of that. I feel like I've let myself down. Yes, where are we, Paul, as an alternative? Maccy D's or Maccy Donald's? I'm getting a latte. I need my coffee, mate. Okay.

You've already had one which I purchased for you so not good enough. It wasn't hot enough apparently. No, it wasn't and I wanted a toffee latte so there, suck it.

Okay. Gannon gets what Gannon wants. Yes, Gannon gets sugar in his bell bell. So now I've got a ticket for my number, 97 waiting for a coffee. Now it's like

being an Argos now. I know, it's like being at the doctor's or something. Dr. Burger. Dr. Big Mac will see you now, Eli. Right, so this is it. We're in. We've got our coffee. Eli's got his Big Mac.

And we're about to venture back into the market and have a little look around and see what we can find so let's see what we can find and find some gold amongst

the gristle I win stop saying you're going to win you might not alright I might not we'll meet back here in what 15-20 minutes

no no let's what give it half an hour like they do in Bargain Hunt. Half an hour. I can't bargain on that. Well, that's what we're doing, right? Yeah, that's what we're doing. Alright, half an hour back here.

And then, um... If I see you in the market, am I allowed to look at you? Yes. So we can make eye contact? No, no eye contact. But I can see you. You should bow in deference. Fuck off, let's just get going.

Okay, so here I am. And I've already spotted some soft toys. They look interesting there's a monkey and also some Toy Story toys obviously they're going to be collectible in the eyes of the dealer and probably out of my price range but I'm interested in a monkey plushie and I'll come back to that. I seem to be in the electronics alley. Okay, so now I'm looking at some very reasonably priced costume jewellery here. Rings 50p, you can look at some thermal socks and there's gloves, all sorts of stuff down here and not much in the way of bric-a-brac which is really my speciality what i'll be looking out for and uh quite a lot of new or packaged goods and not a lot of

second-hand stuff but i'm out of the electronics and what's really catching my eye is the I'm out of the electronics and what's really catching my eye is the plushies, the soft toys And so I'm gonna need to make a purchase at some point Over and out I've spotted Spotted the vinyl There's a whole stall of it here I'm starting to tent and moisten and I'm just gonna have to have a look to see if there's something which won't get mocked for too

badly in the sevens perhaps a cheesy novelty record with questionable politics. That's what I'm looking for. Right. Let's see if he lies at the vinyl table, which he is. I've spotted him. How's it looking? Not good. I've been... I was wondering about the music specifically. I've been waylaid.

I know, I've noticed. I'm just going to have to buy some records. That's fine. Sorry. Have you got anything to have to buy some records. That's fine. Sorry. So, have you got anything yet? No, not yet. I will, though. Although I did do the stupid thing of trying to answer my phone while holding a coffee in the same hand and pouring it on myself.

I've found some things I actually want. What's that? Rock With You, Michael Jackson. Yeah. Oh, I'll leave it there. I've actually wanted from the town. What's that? Rock With You, Michael Jackson? Yeah. Oh, I'll leave it there. I thought you had all this stuff? Yeah, I don't. I've got a dodgy copy of that. So, yes, I will resume. Shall I just meet you back here in half an hour?

I'll resume. Fine. I'll go have a little mince myself then. Yeah, have a little mince myself then. Yeah, have a little mince. You always do. Thank you. Good friends. See you later. Oh, thanks. OK, I've been looking at records for five minutes now,

wasting my time, and there is genuinely quite a few sevens here that I want to possess, so I don't think it's really in the spirit of this to continue with this, so I'm just going to buy some and move on and I'm still empty-handed and I don't know how Paul is doing so hopefully not so good so far either so I've had a little good look around uh the stalls um an interesting mix of things at the moment uh I've seen oh a table full of hammers just just a bag full of hammers on a table and a man selling hammers out of a bag that's it really it looks like he's just gone into an old man's tool shed grabbed what he could stuck it in a bag and put on a table

there is something i have seen that i want to i might ask about the price but i think he's going to overprice it but we'll see it is a viewmaster little eye set with a disc in and I want to want to see if he can get that unfortunately I think that'll be unless he's priced it wrongly right unless he's underpriced it uh I think I'm gonna have to spend a pretty penny on that I don't know if I'll even break the Fiverr budget I don't want to do that I don't want to walk away with one thing and it just be that one thing. I think Eli might actually do this on a pure appearances thing. But he walked past me and he was very guarded. I don't think he's seen anything yet. But I reckon if he sees that Viewmaster too,

there might be a bit of a push and pull between me and him on that. So I might need to pull the trigger on it soon. If I go back there now and it's not there, I might need to pull the trigger on it. Hiya, sorry. How much is the Viewmaster? This is £4. Oh, £4? Okay, alright, cool. Alright, sweet. I might come back for that.

Cheers, thank you. Has it got any more discs in it? Or is that the only one it's got? Only the one. All right. Sometimes they collect them. That's the thing. A friend of mine quite likes them,

so I'm getting it more for the real than the actual thing. But yeah. Cool. I'll be back for that. I want a bit of a budget today, but I'll have a little look around and come back. Cheers. cool I'll be back for that

I want a bit of a budget today but I'll have a little look around and come back cheers oh slim pickings slim pickings indeed I went back and asked for that Viewmaster

had a little look had a vintage reel in the Viewmaster itself quite new 1998 £4 don't know what to do don't know what to do

saw a little DeLorean little matchbox DeLorean there, back to the future thought about getting that what else, what else, what else, what else there's a man selling, in this order a hammer ball of wool

and a silver dildo and that was his whole table paints more of a life than you expect, I think. Still very disappointed to see Eli at the vinyl desk, looking at vinyl when he should be having his mind on the fucking ball. Stupid little hairy bastard. I still think he's going to win this, though. I need to pull my finger out.

I need to buy something. I need to commit to something. With that £4, can I get it for £3? Can I get it for £3? I might get some change and say to him, I've only got £3, will he do that? And see what he says. I'm going to have to do a bit of bargaining. I don't like this.

So, now, back on track. I've purchased more vinyl than I was planning on, as is always the case. But I have got my first item and it is Something out of left field. It's a builders pencil And now I've come across some bric-a-brac and now this we're in the classic realm of shite here Okay, I've put my second item now and it's a lovely little pair of ashtray stroke saucers from Spain with Madrid written on them lovely terracotta two-tone item

the kind of classy item that Paul just doesn't have the eye to spot. I bet you he's bought something with Ghostbusters, some kind of DVD or game. Some cheap, nasty, well, piece of tat. So I'm feeling confident now. I'm £1.50 in, £3.50 left to go. Thank you. Look, I didn't see that. You did see it? I didn't.

It came round behind you. How much have you got left? I haven't got anything yet. You haven't bought anything? I've been procrastinating, I've been panicking. Mate, there's one thing that I've wanted. Get the thing out. What thing?

The recording device. I'll use my phone right now. You haven't bought anything. I've been mulling. I haven't lost because it's been half an hour. It hasn't. I use my phone right now. You haven't bought anything. I've been mulling. I haven't lost because it's been half an hour. It hasn't. I'm almost finished.

Well, lucky you. I haven't been that productive. Are you recording now? Yeah. You're in Trub Trub. Am I? Yes. I'm owning it.

Good. What are you feeling about the sort of vibe of everyone here? It's kind of criminal, isn't it? You know, kind of vibe? It's kind of criminal, isn't it? You know, kind of vibe?

It's kind of melancholy. Edges of criminality. It's like the first half hour of the film Buster. Funnily enough, I was just looking at a Four Tops record. Yeah? Not going loco down in Acapulco. Which everyone's got that though. But, yeah. So,

two words. Yeah? Trot on. Has it been half an hour though already? Yes. Did not know that. Alright. Paul, let me show you this. What? It's lovely, but it's just completely there's no... Is it that old radio? No but it's just completely, there's no...

Is it that old radio? No, it's the old Philips microphone, stereo microphone. Did you see it? No. Oh, I see. That's really nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if that would even work now.

No, but it's got this connector. I have nothing I can even plug that into. That's what I mean. I really like that. The design. know. That's what I mean. I really like that. The design. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It's like a 60s kind of thing. Yeah, obviously. So it records stereo. Yeah. Both sides. Or maybe it's dual mono, which means it's picking two people at the same time. I know, stereo dynamic. Yeah.

That's a lovely bit of audio though, that. Yeah, it really is but it's 5x yeah Philips microphone EL 1979

I just can't justify it no I can't justify that there's something I'm toying with which I think is a bit too much for what it's for what he's asking for

and I'm like oh but I want it spread you knocked him knocked him down no I'm gonna ask him well alright on delay on delay I'm going to ask him. Well. All right.

On delay, on delay. I'm going to do it now. How long have we got? Seriously. I thought we had like another ten minutes left. All right, let's say ten minutes. All right, so quarter to one. This is the bargain hunt aspect, okay?

You're running out of time. You're running out of time. Oh, if he's gone to that stall and he's seen the thing I wanted to get. I don't know what to do now. I'm going to have to just chance it, see if I can wing it that way. How much is the floor in? One quid. Yeah. Sweet, I might treat myself to that. There you go. Thank you very much for that. Is it working? Yeah it's working. Cool, thank you. Yeah, it's working. Cool, thank you. Thank you.

Our first little choice, our first purchase, DeLorean. Let's have a look. I don't know how good the microphone is on this, but that guy did not fart loudly then. A nice big wet one too. I hope I caught that. The smell of it's so bad. I think even this recorder has recorded the smell of that.

It's so potent. Jesus. Hi again. Come back for that book. Can I get three quid for that? Would that be alright? Always the price is the problem. It's always, yeah.

It's always, yeah. The price is the problem. I have three, is that alright? Thank you so much. You're welcome. Cheers, take care. Thank you very much. Oh, that's excellent, I like that.

I can see King's Cross. Right, I need to put this in the bag. In case I bump into Eli and he sees it. Yeah, no, I love that but I can't afford that right now so there you go. £70.50? Yeah, no, no, if I could I would but I can't justify it today but thank you. £15 for that Ghostbuster set. I can't justify that cost.

Nice, I've got a quid left. Well... I have a little bit of budget left, and I wonder if I should get one more thing or not. Well, you have to. I know. Well, I don't have to get, like, three things. I'm not spending a five on utter shit, and then you go, oh, no, I'm saving money.

No, I'm not saving money. My query is, how far do I spend? Do I look for quantity or quantity? I've got enough money to get one more thing, potentially. You've lost. I haven't lost. Unless you've bought eight amazing things. I've bought some amazing stuff.

I think I might swing this, though. Go on. Go and get your last item. I've got five minutes. All right, two minutes. Whatever. Shut up. Mate, stop following me to put the pressure on.

It really is. All right, I'm going to go. Where are we exiting? Same place. Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes. Why don't you have a cigarette on the go for us as a celebratory smoke? See, following you now, hounding you.

How do you do? You like the pressure. Don't mind, because I've already finished. All right, fair point. All right, shut up., hounding you. How do you like the pressure? Don't mind, because I've already finished. All right, fair point. All right, shut up. I'll stand down. How much are these stack of coasters? Oh, OK.

Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I'll give you a pound for that. Cheers, thank you very much. All right. Take care. You want that whilst I'm in? Ooh, definitely. I'm going to have a funny move today. Thank you very much. There you go, got a stack of cheesy tea coasters with scenes of painted Paris upon them.

Right, I think that's it. I think that's my three choices. I think I've done well there. I think I've done all right. I don't think I've done any better than Eli. Let's go see him. Let's see what happens next. So, time is up, Mr Silverman.

Time is up. Have you got everything you need? I have. Are you feeling confident? I'm feeling pretty confident. Also, can I just mention now, you took way too long and you should be disqualified. No! And basically, I'm not going to mention it again later, but I basically won even if you won. That's just bullshit. That's you getting ahead of the curve, isn't it really? That's you saying, moralistically, I'm a winner.

Well, it was meant to be like Bargain Hunt. You took way over the appointed half an hour that we needed to do this. Anyway, either way, we've finished now. We've bought what we need to. We're going to go back to Eli's flat now and evaluate and basically judge each other's tat. Can I tell you as well? No, because we've been recording this. Right. So, I'm recording it.

I'm moving around. I'm holding my phone. And this guy, who I'm looking at his table of contents, goes, You recording me? And I was like, no, because I hadn't. I turned my phone off at that time, so I wasn't actually recording at that time. You just had the mic out. Yeah. And he was like, you recording me? What is this? Is this a sting or something? I was like, no, no, no, no, no. And he goes, what's that in your pocket?

And then he saw this yellow puff of this thing, which again, wasn't on, wasn't recording. And he goes, watch this. That's a recorder. That's a recorder. You recording me? I'm like, no, no, no. Look, and I got it out for him. I was doing a podcast and blah, blah, blah.

And I go, it's a TASCAM. It's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, oh, yeah. How much did you pay for that? And I was like, 80 quid. And he went, I'll give you 50. I was like, no, it's not for sale. He would have bought it off you for 50, right?

Yeah. But then we wouldn't have a show, because how are we going to record anything yeah that would have been good though so all we've got to do now is pack up and head back home I win

no matter who wins I win no bullshit right we're heading home onwards what we've been waylaid because you want stew

I'm getting a Turkish stew. That's all there is to report. Why stew today? Why not a nice kebab? You've got to change it up, you know. Variety is the spice of life. As they say. And you can't eat too many kebabs.

Oh, Disney's is gone. Disney's is gone. Disney's used to be a bed shop called Disney's. And now it's Savers. Yeah they used to sell mattresses now they Disney. I used to sell the mattresses but at Disney. Mattresses? Mattresses, shit. Try one more time. No, I've gone off it now. We're crossing the road. I don't like it. I'm going to take the crossing. I don't like it. I'm going to use the crossing. There is no crossing. Oh, fuck. No, there's a crossing, but it's further up. Now I'm split up from him and he's going to get a stew and I'm going to miss out on this magic. Oh, charity shop. Oh, what's in there? Oh, maybe I get waylaid.

Hang on. So you've chosen a place to get your stew. Getting a stew still? I'm getting a stew. A double stew. As in, I'm getting half a box of one stew and half a box of the other. Wow.

Equaling one stew portion. Wow. What kind of stew? I've got lamb and mixed vegetable. And the other half is lamb and green bean. Are you excited? Yeah, reasonably. It's delicious food here at Haller.

Do you ever step out of your life? Like, take a step back, look at it and go, I think I've squandered it. Sometimes I do. It's quite a dark thought, though, Paul. I try not to... Dwell. ...linger on, yeah. I try not to... Dwell. Linger on, yeah. Okay, I mean, it's not that bad.

There's people with no homes. And there's people who... Yeah, but you live like a homeless. I do not live like a homeless. Don't diss. The House of Pickles, as I said, is a bona fide home. House of Pickles is a bonaafide home, you're right. It's a place that you sleep. It's like a nest. Look, just get ready to be declared unanimously the loser of our...

After you've eaten your stew. So we're going to wait until after the stew? We're going to have to wait. Yeah, we're going to have to. I'm not having you talk and eat stew at me as we go for our treasure. Fair enough. But just know this. Yeah.

I will vanquish you. Both on the aesthetic. You're very confident today. Whenever I'm this confident, you notice something. I always lose. I always lose. No, that's not true, actually.

You tend to win. It's funny. You only ever lose on Barsians. You tend to win in Chiefs show. you only ever lose on Barshens. You tend to win in Chiefs show. Okay. And I never win on either. No, because... Like ever.

You haven't got a competitive... You don't. Edge. That's why I've failed in most of my things in life. I don't fight hard enough. Don't go. Why do you keep going back to this? I'm lonely.

You're not lonely. No, I'm not. You're engaged to be married to a beautiful woman. What, did you not know what it was? I was getting engaged to get to think about it. No, I'm not. You're engaged to be married to a beautiful woman. What, did you not know what it was? I was getting engaged to get to think about it. No, I just didn't want to... Or get too detailed. I didn't want to enrage any kind of feminist or anything like that.

Okay, so I probably am now enraging someone. I hope you said a pretty girly. I didn't say that. I said she's a beautiful woman, which is true. Yeah, so you're not lonely. If you said a pretty girlie... I didn't say that. I said she's a beautiful woman, which is true. Yeah, so you're not lonely. I'm just going to have to put off this very important competition so you can feed your guts. I'm going to feed me guts. Feed your guts.

I'm going to load my guts with Turkish stew. Well that's exciting and hopefully we'll get a review of that. It's ready. I'm going to get it now. Right, bye. We'll find out if the stew ends up being good later on I guess. This is not the way I thought this show was going to work out. Right, we're back in Shay Eli's house. Well, we're heading up to the house of pickles.

Up the stairs. Eli's very excited to get his mouth around his stew. Actually, I'll be taking a shit. As you eat stew? Yes, it's called a stew. It's called a shoe. I went for a lovely shoe the other day. It was like having a lovely warm... It's like warmth, Liquid warmth at both ends.

From mouth to ass. You're full of class. So in that case, I'll just chill and don't see you eating another shit. Cheap Show. One of the classiest podcasts, I think, available on the podcast market. available on the podcast market. Where else would you get car boot sales, Turkish stews, and bowel movement updates as part of a competition?

No, as part of a podcast content. Well, as we settle down and relax now, back at Shea Eli's House of Pickles, let's just take some time to relax, unwind, and then we'll come back for the grand reveal. The showdown. The showdown of our bounty. Special on-location episode. Yeah.

Yeah. So we should call this episode 30-whatever. The on-location... Bargain Hunt rip-off. Bargain hunt rip off Bargain hunt rip off show part one Right So we are sitting in the spoils Of Eli's stew Which is just sitting there

In it's horrible Tin foil What's that Styrofoam. Styrofoam box. Oh, seriously. It was nice. When Rogan goes, this place, the house of pickles spreads, doesn't it, from your room? The house of pickles.

Yeah. It's a temporary pop-up into the kitchen of the house of pickles. It's more like an installation. Yeah. Pickle spreads. So, are we ready? Yeah right so You've got your bag of things

I've got my bag of things We're going to start with your bag All five items I don't want to know the price Right It's going to get them out You're going to big them up And we'll see

I'll ask questions And then I'll do the same And then we'll firstly judge On who got the best Right Who got the best stuff Most interesting stuff Okay

Yes who got the best stuff So are you ready? Item number one Now you spent no more than the best, right? Who got the best stuff? Most interesting stuff. Yes, who got the best stuff? So are you ready? Item number one. Now you spent no more than a fiver, right? I spent exactly a fiver. Oh, okay. Excellent. Here we go.

It's a builder's pencil. What makes it a builder's pencil? It's rectangular. If you can see that there. Oh, it's very flat. I didn't take it until you turned it round. Yeah. It's flat.

It's a flat pencil Blackledge by Rexel 2H so it's hard it's a very hard pencil it's a hard pencil not very hard

I think it goes up to 8H you what yeah so this is my first time why do they have to be flat for a builder's pencil why is that

it's so they can fit it in between planks of wood and stuff you don't know I don't know that for sure but come on that's so they can fit it in between planks of wood and stuff. You don't know, do you? I don't know that for sure, but come on, that's a pretty good guess. It's a very good guess. If you happen to know why a builder's pencil... Is it called a builder's pencil?

It must be a builder's pencil. No, no, no. Did it, on the box that you bought it, did it say builder's pencil? It is, though. I've seen builders with these, or chippies. Carpenters. I wonder if it's just because it fits behind the ear. It's for marking the way you're going to saw. Maybe it's just because it fits behind the ear. It's for marking the way you're going to saw.

Maybe it's flat because it fits behind the ear. Let's try that out. No, it's sliding behind the ear. Is it so you can use it as a ruler? You could use it as a straight edge, but again, I believe it's to do with slipping into... You like this. You're liking this more than I thought you would.

No, why is it gnawed? You see one side's completely smooth, but the other looks like it's been gnawed by, like, a bird. Yeah, it's just been knocked about a bit in the manufacturing process. It looks like it's been in a child's mouth. It has not been in a child's mouth. God. Well, you don't know.

Was it on its own or in a big box full of them? It was in a big box full of them. It's brand new. It's a new item. It's green. I like that. Okay. It's a a big box full of them. It's brand new. It's a new item. It's green. I like that. Okay. Fine.

Moving on to the second item. I'm not impressed so far. What? Don't be whispering. I'll whisper into the podcast. Right, item number two. Oh, item number two is very nice. Again, I need to mention this.

Again, if you're listening to this podcast going, oh, I'm wishing you what this stuff looked like, you can go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk, and there's an episode page for this, which has videos and whatever and pictures and things like that that accompany each episode. So you can go along and have a little bit of a visual feast of what we get up to on Cheap Show.

With that in mind, what is your second item? It's a pair of saucucers Cum Astres. Saucers Cum? Saucers Cum Astres. Right. Two-tone colour. You've got a dark brown terracotta sort of colour. Yeah, it's a nice kind of pottery. And then a glaze. Very nice glaze. Glazed in

beige, sort of yellowy beige. It's a paint and a bake, isn't it? Yeah. And it's like a nice two-tone, and these are from Spain. One is from it says Jode Luis it's like a nice two-tone. And these are from Spain. One is from... It says Jode Luis, which is a bar owner, I'd say, and Madrid. The other one is also Madrid, but it's Corral de la Morera. And it has a picture of a lady doing flamenco and a guy dancing with a guitar. House of something.

And they seem to be standing by a radiator or a fence. That looks like a radiator to me. Well, they've got to keep warm. They have to keep warm. I mean, in Spain? No. Quite nice weather. It's more likely to be a fence? That looks like a radiator to me. Well, they've got to keep warm. They have to keep warm. I mean, in Spain? No, quite nice weather. It's more likely to be a fence, isn't it? It's more likely to be...

It could be a birdcage. And also, the Jode Luis has a little... like a little coat of arms which appears to be a bottle. Is it a brand of something, do you think? Could be a brand

or it could be a location, I thought. Like a beer or a... There's no other markings on them and they're quite rough-hewn with a sort of cheap glaze. They're sort of tourist tat. Yeah. But quite nice, don't you think?

Tourist tat. They're all right, actually. They're not too bad. I like those. They are quite nice. Yeah, so again, you can see what all we've bought on our website. Go to it now. You could put a coffee cup in that.

You could. A little cup. You could use it to... Ash. Cigarettes. Cigarettes. Candle. Put a little tea, put a coffee cup in that. You could. A little cup. You could use it to ash. Cigarettes. Ash your cigarettes. Candle. Put a little tea like cake candle in there. Ready for my third item? I am ready for your third item. Now this is good. Is it? It's a reserved sign.

It's very good. I mean you've already got one. It's got some schmutz on it. Oh don't sniff it. It seems to have a waxy residue on one side which I didn't see when I purchased it. Let's hope that's not rendered poor fact. Don't you already have a reserve sign? Yes.

Because you used it in the Barshens video. It's a collection pour. On reserve size. Yes, it's an interest, yes. That other one that I used in the Barshens video was metal, if you seem to remember. And this is a kind of fragile plastic. This is sort of aged.

Baker light, almost. It's a baker light, almost. Brittle plastic one, reserved in a bakelite almost it's a bakelite almost brittle plastic one reserved in a nice lettering how many are you going to get like here's the plan here's what I'm thinking what you're going to do one day I've got like

five or six of those and then you'll make a little fake restaurant in this living room one day and you'll put these reserved signing to the table and then you'll have a meal table to yourself with a

meal right and you'll be like I am the most exclusive member of this restaurant they close it just for me and you'll play a table to yourself with a meal, right? And you'll be like, I am the most exclusive member of this restaurant. They close it just for me. And you'll play out that fantasy of being in a restaurant. I'd rather just look at some pornography. How does that involve the sign reserve? It doesn't.

Although it looks like someone has already beat me to it in terms of wanking onto the sign. It's a waxy residue, as I mentioned. Although what you could do is, if you do want to have a wank in the House of Pickles, your room, you could put the reserve sign in front of wanking onto the sign. It's a waxy residue, as I mentioned. Although what you could do is, if you do want to have a wank in the House of Pickles, your room, you could put the reserve sign in front of the door. So no one goes in. And so everyone knows that you're having...

Also, look, there's a practical, and also there's a cheap thing you could do. Yeah. If you can't afford to get a reservation at a restaurant. True. Or, you know, it's difficult to. It's like a light pack. It's a bit like, it's difficult to. It's like a light pack. It's a bit like one, isn't it?

A bit like a light pack. You go in with that, plonk it on the table, and then swat on in. About five minutes later, I've reserved. So sneak into a restaurant. Put the reserve sign. And then walk in with some confidence, you know, with some swagger, and go, yes, I've plainly reserved this. And then you could, you know, eat some swagger, and go, yes, I've plainly reserved this. And then you could, you know, eat.

Here's the problem. Wouldn't you think they'd also have a booking in a diary with your name as well? Yes, but then you'd go, but someone's put a reserve sign here. But it's a restaurant, sir. We have a reserve sign for most tables for other bookings. Yes, but this is a special one. That you've put on the table, sir. I may have.

I've reserved it. Well, I've got... You can do your own reservations I've actually got CCTV cameras of you doing this sign on as I've said I've been totally honest I walked in I

reserved the table using my own sign what you've done is bags you should be glad you bags I haven't used your resources to reserve the table now you brought in your spunk covered plastic baker like

reserved anyway so that's my third item. Right. I like that. I'm collecting these. Not a lot. I know. Right. Fourth item.

I actually feel a bit more confident about my items now. What? These are great. Well, don't look at me like that. These are good. There's nice ashtrays.

You've got the builder's pencil, reserved sign. And it's like a mini bottle of chilli-infused oil. All right. like a mini bottle of chilli infused oil. All right. Okay, that's interesting.

That's very interesting. I like the little bottle shape. It looks like a kind of teeny bottle like of Jack Daniels. Yes. It's got that Jack Daniels look to it. It does. The colour of the chilli oil is also quite Jack Daniels coloured. It's got little seeds in it.

I think it's from Domino's, isn't it? Because it's got a domino on it. Oh, it does. It is unopened. And you can see it has a bit of chilli residue sitting in the oil there. Yeah, I like that. It's got the ingredients. It's got colour.

They had to colour it. Well, there you go. So far, right. It's very small. 15 millilitres. Can I just say, so far, judging by your items, you've got chilli dressing, a reserve sign, two little dishes. Are you making

the world's smallest restaurant? Is that what it is? And I could build the table using my builder's pencil. My chippy's pencil. Or for taking the menu order, you know,

to write down a little notebook. Oh yes, you can take the order with that. Now that's the kind of thing you can't put in a pencil shop now. That's what I was wondering as well.

You'd have to take a sharp knife to... You'd have to use a box cutter or something. Yeah, like a box cutter and shave at it. Are you ready for my item? This is the last one. No. One, two, three, four. Yeah.

I've got two more after this. I've got three more altogether. Oh, for a fiver? Yeah. Okay. Noodles. I saw the noodles and I thought, you're going to get noodles. Now, that is basically the equivalent of me buying Ghostbusters stuff Kind of, sorry

Mate, seriously, are you having a little restaurant? You've got food now, you've got the plates You're making a meal It's what caught my attention, man No, you're making a meal, it's what you're doing This is a pair of Spicy roast beef flavour cup noodles Nissin as well.

Nissin are the original. These are the original pot noodles, basically. Pot noodle completely copied these. These came out in the 60s. How original? Are they from the 50s? Is that why you bought them? They're vintage?

They're not vintage, but the cup noodle was the original product. That is it. The Nissin Corporation. Straight from the inventor, Fukama. Fukamuku. I don't know what he's called. Remove that bit. All right, I'll remove that bit.

I'm not going to remove that bit. Shut up! So, pair of noodles. Yeah, I'm fine. How many more? Two more. Oh, God. Vintage rubber ball.

Oh, you like your rubber ball. Yes, vintage rubber ball. This has got a nice marbling effect. How do you know it's vintage? I don't. But feel the plastic. Oh, that's not vintage. It feels like that cheap sort of 80s.

It looks 80s, maybe. 80s? It's foamy. It's got a good bounce. It's not. It's quite foamy, that. It absorbs. It's gone over by the bin.

It's got a good bounce. It doesn't have a good bounce. Stop having a fucking go at my items. Mate, it did not have a good bounce. What do you want? You bounced it. It lost half its energy on the first bounce. Stop having a fucking go at my items. Mate, it did not have a good bounce. What do you want? You bounced it, it went, it lost half its energy

on the first bounce and then rolled over by the bin. That's good. It's not good, you bounced it a little bit. It's got a nice bounce. It's not got a good bounce.

But what attracted me to this was the marbling. Was the marbling, yes. And the fact that you thought it was vintage. Well, it's not, whether it's vintage or not

doesn't really bother me, you know? Who kind of thinks that you're overselling it then to me? I like bouncy balls. You said vintage, thinking you were... It's an unusual design for a bouncy ball.

A kind of like marbled like the inside of an antique book. I like the design, but I think you need to recount the status of it being vintage, therefore good. Well, it may not be vintage. It's a ball.

Yes, Paul, it's a ball. A marbly ball. And ready for my last item. Yes, Paul, it's a ball. A Marbley ball. And ready for my last item. Yes, your last item. Vintage. Just these 80s in-ear headphones. Oh, grotty. No, mate.

Look at the colour. It's like the Bratz fucking earmuffs. No, it's not. They've been in some mad tramp's ear. No, they haven't. They're perfectly clean. They're not. They are perfectly clean.

Oh, my God. I They're perfectly clean. They're not. They are perfectly clean. Oh, my God. I would never buy that. I would never buy something like that. Like, I would never buy a bicycle seat. Why? Because of other people's butt butts. And groinal stank. Groinal stank.

Yeah. Good. Second album, especially. It's very good, the second album, actually. So, these are green. And they're kind of vomit green, aren, the second album, actually. So, these are green. And they're kind of vomit green, aren't they? They're vomit. They're like pea green. They're like 80s...

Pea soup. 80s doctor's waiting room green. Do you know they're not 80s? They would have been 90s. They're 90s. They didn't have things like that. These are 90s earbuds. When did the earbud first come into fashion?

I think it was the 90s, yeah. I guess it would have been, because I just remember... Late 80s. They've had them for a while. They've had that design for a while. Is it a particular brand or maker?

No. They're unbranded. They feel dirty. They do not feel dirty. They feel horrible. Well, that's my last item. Right. What's your summing up?

You have bought a tiny restaurant and some dirty earbuds because you needed to eat today and listen to your phone. No, that's not true. What about the builder's pencil? There's no use for that.

Yeah, you're right. You got me there. All right. All right. Reserve time. Okay. Mini chili bottle. Right.

It's my turn. Okay. So let's see what you can do. All right. Here we go. Okay. All right. Item number one.

All right. This is just to ease you in, right? Look at these. Tell me what you see. You've got, here we go. Okay, item number one. All right. This is just to ease you in, right? Look at these. Tell me what you see. You've got some beer mats here. Oh, coasters. Okay. Lovely coasters.

There's coasters. That might be a beer mat, I grant you, but I think they're all coasters. Yeah, they're coasters. Their beer mats are thinner, aren't they? So these are

cork-backed coasters you've got. One, you've got a set and also one that seems to be by itself. You know why I've got that by itself? She threw that in as part of the deal. When I bought the thing, she goes,

do you want that as well, love? And I was like, oh, thank you very much. And then she went, I'm just feeling crazy today. And I thought, I'm so sorry to hear that. So, Britons, it says. It's got a picture of the British Isles, a map of the British Isles on a white background, and on that, in red lettering,

Britain's. Your country needs you. It's a Second World War kind of thing, isn't it? World War II sort of piece of shit. I mean, honestly. I beg your pardon. That's free, so I'm not... To be fair, that wasn't the item you went for. You went for this set of coasters.

Yes, and I'm quite happy with them. These are Renoir or someone. Some are not as good as Renoir. No, it's not Renoir. It's Esque. It's a terrible, these are terrible tourist paintings

of Paris. So you've got a view across the Seine of the Eiffel Tower. Probably the best painting. Then you've got where the artists hang out. What's that called? I don't know. It's called Montmartre, something like that.

It's where the artists all hang out. Oh, is that what that is? There's a white church on the top of the hill. Where they're inspired to write or paint. Well, there's all this market where artists sell their paintings and stuff. Oh, I get it. I went there great anecdote as a child

great anecdote then you've got the Arc de Triomphe yeah and then you can see the artist's name there Georges B

whoever that is Georgie B you know Georgie B the painter and then there's some hello I'm Georgie B I paint Paris

that's like a canal that's the Notre Dame is that Notre Dame yeah I believe so there's the Red Wind. Is that Notre Dame? Yeah. I believe so.

There's the Red Windmill. Is that the Moulin Rouge? Moulin Rouge. Your most favourite film in the world, Moulin Rouge. I do not like Moulin Rouge. Look at the can, can, can. Can, can, can. And again, I think that's one marcher again from a different view. Maybe, from the opposite side of the artist.

So there's five of them there. Yeah. What's the quality like? What do you think? They look like kind of papery. So there's five of them there. Yeah. What's the quality like? What do you think? They look like kind of papery. A little bit. The top is papery

and it's sort of this weird not actual cork MDMF. I think that's it. MDF. Yeah. MDMF is a drug. It's got a cork

effect sort of. There's actually a piece of paper with the cork printed on it that they've put on top of the wood. Yeah. So it's very

ersatz and brilliant so I'm not liking the quality Paul it looks this the surface looks like it would

if you did actually put a hot maybe slightly damp warp cup of tea on there it would go through it looks like doesn't it

you think I mean it's got a slight lacquering to it a slight not enough not enough that would wear out

it would definitely peel and tear these are terrible. Thank you. All right. So what's your next item? You're opening a restaurant. Yeah.

No. What? Is this another food-based thing? No. No. Well, it better not be. Just that eased me in, I guess. Ready?

Next one. Next one is this. What is this? Oh, yeah. I like this. That's good. That may have won it, actually. Oh, you see. I don't know. You see,? Oh, yeah. I like this. That's good. That may have won it, actually. Oh, you see.

I don't know. You see, the next one I'm really happy with. This is a DeLorean, right? A little tiny. Back to the Future. DeLorean. And I think it's Back to the Future 2. Do you know why?

Why do you think it's Back to the Future 2? Because it's got the jet. Oh, no. It is the original Back to the Future. Because I thought it had a Mr. Fusion on the top, and it doesn't actually on reflection. What does it? Let's have a little look. No, I thought it had a Mr. Fusion on the top and it doesn't actually on reflection. What does it? Let's have a little look.

No, I thought it had a Mr. Fusion on it. So it's Back to the Future 1, is it? An original Back to the Future DeLorean. And it's Hot Wheels. It's Hot Wheels. Are they in? Hot Wheels are very good. Are they? Because I believe it was Hot Wheels

that first introduced the idea of car wheels that had ball bearings in so they ran smoother rather than the axle. I see. And a little pin. Matchbox was the other. I think it was the British brand. But that is very nice. It's got some nice

detailing at the back. It's not the best of Nick but it's also not trash. It's a bit bashed up but yeah, it's not trash. It means it's been lovely and played with. And it's recognisably a DeLorean and that's very nice. Impressed with your second item. Good. I am. I think you'll be impressed with my third and final.

Number three. Ready? I'm really excited about this. Oh, don't. Shut up. What is this? Ooh. Viewmaster.

Oh, yeah. You've got a Viewmaster. This is a sleek black one. Probably, I had one of these as a child. It was red. Do you remember? They were mostly red.

People remember them as being red. This is black. Now, I thought this was vintage. Have you seen a black one before pardon yeah i have there's all kinds of colors for it but i mean the thing is i thought this was a classic one at the beginning but actually when you look at the uh copyright it says 1998 so it's not that new but it is made in mexico but look and let's see what's in there it's got a Oh, that's great. So what's that picture you've been looking at? What is it? This is a 3D picture, in the way that these things are,

of King's Cross Central. So it's like an overhead sort of 3D picture of King's Cross. I think it's like a planning of King's Cross of some kind. I'm going to the next one. Oh, yeah. The high-speed run. 30th July 2003. So this is obviously relatively recent the design so you've got a picture of a train there and a picture of a motorway next to it oh this is you've won you've totally won this is This is the... What are you looking at?

It's an overpass. They're building a bridge. It's all concrete-y. Very brutalist, isn't it? It has some elements of brutalism, yes. 12th of August, 2003. The CTRL is manoeuvred directly underneath the QE2 bridge. What is the CTRL? The CTRL.

The crossrail. Is this the building of crossrail? I think it's some kind of... No, it hadn't kicked off the building of Crossrail? No it hadn't kicked off by then had it? No. Oh my god. I take that back

about you winning. This is a slide of Tony flipping Blair. On time, on budget. Tony Blair officially inaugurates the Channel Tunnel.

It's the Channel Tunnel. It's the Channel Tunnel. But it had been open since then. It opened in the 90s didn't it?

No. Yeah the Channel Tunnel opened in the 90s. I have no Tunnel. But it had been open since then. It opened in the 90s, didn't it? No. Yeah, the Channel Tunnel opened in the 90s. I have no fricking clue. Maybe it's the Eurostar. Anyway, there's Tony Blair with his big lying fucking face. Come on, what else is there? Go through them all. The Incredible Journey.

This is a good one. Again, it's one of those big tunnel makers. Big tunnel... Boring a hole. Boring a hole. Barrington Road Ventilation Shaft. You're very similar. Your stand-up's very similar to that

because you both bore a whole room Right To death Oh good Your stand-up's not good I haven't done stand-up in flipping years Flip I'm bringing back the word flip

Go on So what's the next one? Another tunnel The London Tunnels CTRL We should know what that is I've got my phone right now Hang on

Hang on Okay Google What is the CTRL? Here's a summary from Wikipedia. No, not the control button. A control key on a Windows keyboard. No, it's not. A control key is a modifier key which, when pressed in conjunction with another key, performs a special operation.

For example, control plus C. Similar to the shift key, the control key rarely performs any function when pressed by itself. Cross-rail tunnel. Cut channel. Hang on, let me do this again. Okay, Google. Okay, Google. What is, in London, the CTRL?

Okay, Google. In London, what is the CTRL? Here's what I found. No. What a brilliant app. It says it's a boozy club night out. Oh, we'll find it. It's like living in the future. Everything's at our fingertips. Ooh, the information. It's like I'm living as a cyborg.

Ooh, it's like I have access to all information. Your phone's shit. It's not shit. It's just talking to it. How was I to know CTRL was also going to come up with control which is in itself a perfectly good guess if you didn't know the context. Hello, Google.

What is sexy nuns? I'm putting London Rail in, because I'm thinking it's got something to do with that. Actually, should I just take it? Shut up, shut up. Channel Tunnel Rail Link. Yeah, that's what it is. Good.

So the disc that is in there is a promotional London Transport sort of thing. Yeah. Weird. This might have been a promotional London Transport one, full stop. St Pancras. That's the rebuilding of St Pancras they got in there, which is obviously part of it. Yeah, you've got St Pancras, King's Cross, the high-speed run, threading the needle,

which is moving the bridge under the other bridge. Tony Blair ruining the whole slide. Cunt. He's the only person apart from these builders. I like that. Tony Blair's a war criminal. Oy, oy, oy. There you go. Politics. It's made in Mexico by Fisher Price in 1998.

Yeah, I believe Fisher Price bought it, didn't they? I see. Fisher Price I like. I like Fisher Price. That's a nice Viewmaster. So there you go. There's my three items. £5 on the nose for all three. That's a nice Viewmaster. So there you go. There's my three items. £5 on the nose for all three. DeLorean, Viewmaster and that.

Well, you can see that your items are more expensive. Now how are we going to play... Wait though, first of all we have to decide who got the best stuff. You've even conceded already with the DeLorean and the Viewmaster that I might have won. Come on, give me that. You're edging it with the DeLorean. Am I? Yeah. Okay, I'll concede. You got the best stuff. All right, so I've won that round. You're going to give me that? Yeah, just.

Give me it. Just. Give me something. I like the Viewmaster very good. I particularly like the DeLorean. That's a nice spot. Yeah. That is a nice spot. That's the thing. When I bumped into that table, that's where I got that from. I thought you might have seen it because it had a little James Bond car as well. Yeah, I think that's better than James Bond though. Because it was the Goldfinger car. Yeah, everyone's... Oh, what, the white one? No, the underwater one. The silver one. No, that's from the Spy Who Loves Me. I used to have one of those. Yeah, I had one of those as well. Everyone had one of those. It broke, yeah. So apart from the mats, which I just got them because I thought they were cheesy and horrible.

They are. Cheap, cheesy, horrible Zats. And what really gets me is they've actually faked cork. Yeah. To me, that's the touch that drew me into them. They're faking cork. And that's terrible. But yes, the Viewmaster, very nice.

And what does it say? LCR, an incredible journey. So it was some kind of promotional giveaway. London Crossrail. Yeah. So it's actually branded. Channel Rail. Viewmaster that is branded London Crossrail.

Must have been a promotional item or something. It could be of some collectability to a rail enthusiast. Well, here we go then. We're going to have to go into our third and final part of this. The price. And we'll have to guess the prices. The price of this shite on this bargain bunt bargain hunt special.

Right, so here's what we're going to do. Because I've only got three items and you've only got five. We're going to have to think of a way to play the prices shite so fairly. So you're going to pick three items from your collection of five and I will guess the prices compared to the three items. I've got my three items. Yeah, I thought you weren't going to

use the noodles because I saw they were like a quid or something. A quid for two, which is actually very good. If you go into a corner shop or something, they can be anything up to a quid each. So, hang on. Before we go any further, it's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite.

It's the fucking price of shite. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. You fucked that up so badly. Try again. You fucked it up. You could have rode with that. You fucked it up. I'm a professional.

You fucking fluffed. You fluffed the last line. You fucking fluffed it. Just do it. Just do it. You always give up rather than fucking get involved. No, I know when something's wrong. There's no point continuing with it.

I thought it was fine. It was not. You fucking garbled it. Alright, you do it then. No, you do it. Since you're going to get it right, you do it. Oh! It's the fucking price of shit. It's the fucking price of shit. It's the

fucking price of shit. Oh, it's the fucking price of shit. No, I'm not going to buy that. If you can't let me have a little slip, it's not. And that's right, you say. What do you mean? You're not going to buy it? I'm not asking you to fucking buy you can't let me have a little slip it's not And that's right you say What do you mean you're not going to buy it I'm not asking you to fucking buy it I did that that was classy It had some fucking pizzazz

We should really know how to do this by now We should know how to do this by now In our show Well I think we should change it up Price What is it And that's right So here we go.

Right, so I'm going to... First item I need you to... Take a guess at. So what's the scoring? Two points on the nose. Yeah. And one point if you're within 50p above or below it. No, that's not going to work.

Yes, that's how we've always done it to date. If you're within 50p either way, you get the two... Otherwise we'd never get points. It should be within 25p either way, you'd get the two... Otherwise, we'd never get points. It should be within 25p either way. No, because then that's odd. But that's because you could say it costs nothing, and if it costs 50p, then you'd get a point. Yeah, but we wouldn't allow that.

That would be fucking wrong, wouldn't it? We wouldn't allow that, though. It just gives a little bit of leeway until we can actually get points on the table. Right? First item... Otherwise, I'd never get points. The first item I need you to guess. Right? Otherwise I never get points. The first item I need you to guess

the price of are the pair of terracotta ashtray cum coffee saucers from Madrid. So I know, so far, that the headphones and the that and the thing.

So I know that's a quid. That must have been 50p. That must have been 50p. So let's say you spent two quid on that. I'm going to say that is at least a quid, 50p each, for those two dishes. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I am Sherlock Holmes

and I know how to solve crimes and guess prices. Sherlock Holmes, ladies and gentlemen. That's me. Sherlock Holmes should have this voice. Elementary, my dear Watson. No, he fucking shouldn't. Right, so you got that right. You got two points. Give me my 5% solution, you

fuck. What do you want me to guess the price of? Coasters. Have a look at the Paris Coaster. Right. Now you've got to remember I spent £5 across all of these. Maybe one was £1.75 and one was

£3.60 or whatever. You just don't know. I will say this. There's nothing odd. I think it's a quid. For the coasters and the free one. Yeah. Straight back at you. So two points each Two points each

Two points each Can you feel the tension? I can feel it I might need to go to the toilet Reserve sign Reserve sign With wax It's wax obviously from a candle

Came from a classy establishment Where they've got candles on the table In Chianti bottles Yeah My reserve sign One pound You get one point Was it one1.50?

It was 50p. Oh, that would have been my second guess. Three points for you there. All right, so 50p. Right, okay, so... DeLorean. Now, I know that we've got £4 for the remaining two items. Could they just be two each?

Or one could be three? I know, it's tricky, isn't it? We've got to go back to the future! I can't see that being more than 150. I'm going to go for £1.50 for the car. And you would be wrong. It was £1 on the nose for the car as well. So I get a point.

So you get one point for that. Yeah, so we're neck and neck. Yeah, three points each. You know what the problem with your game is now? We both know how much each other's problems. I know exactly how much this is. And I know how much that is. Why?

Because that was one pound. Yeah. And that was 50p. Yeah, but then... And you said that was three pound altogether. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. All right, no one wins.

How much was that? That was three pound. Right. That's quite a lot. That's the most expensive item. He was asking for four quid. Yeah, you did. All right, no one wins. How much was that? That was three pound. Right. That's quite a lot. That's the most expensive item. He was asking for four quid. Oh, was he? And I said, oh, mate, I've only got three pound in my pocket.

It's in working order. It's quality. I would have liked to see... Can I be honest with you? I've never owned a Viewmaster in my life. Now you have one, and that will work with any Viewmaster. I want to find... If you're listening to this and you have a bunch of Viewmaster circles, whatever cards,

that you don't want anymore, send them to me. I'll give you my address, my phone number, my bank details, and my penis length. So that is quite a nice item. Yes, just so you know,

my sort code is also the exact same length in millimetres as my penis. Yeah. That's not true. That's not funny, and it's just not working. It's not working. Okay.

So, in case anyone's wondering, the marbled finish bouncy ball. Yeah. 50p. 50p. 50p a pound. Headphones are a pound. Yeah. They better work.

I bet they don't. Oh, don't put them in your ears. Oh, that's gross. It's not gross. What? Am I going to get ear AIDS? Here's what's going to happen. You'll be, like, hands full one day with those earphones in,

and then you'll have to take them out, and you'll go, well, I've got nowhere to put them. I'll just pop them in my mouth for a second while I use my hand. I'll be sucking granny, granny, old granny wax. No, it's like Gary who fucking goes to Paddy Power and puts a bet on. Look at the racism here. It's not racism. The fucking snootiness of you.

What, people who go and are called Paddy? No, I just said his name is Gary. who go to Paddy Power. They've got dirty ears, do they? Yeah.

They're unclean. And they've got some kind of ear, spreadable ear cancer, do they? No. Well then, what's the fucking problem?

Grow up. There's lots of pathogens in this world, Paul. And germs. And these are a nice green pair of headphones you're going to try them out now I really hope they don't work

they don't actually fit in my phone because of the case that's not good to me is it no these are terrible I shouldn't have bought them they look ugly they look dirty I can't imagine the sound quality is going to be

much good on them let's just see if they work at all alright he's going to put them in his ears and they don't fit in my ears what the fuck

I've got small little ear holes you hear it at first ladies and gentlemen let's see here we go let's see if they work play something

I'm playing play something I'm playing. Play something. I'm playing. Oh, my God. I'm waiting to play something. Yeah, but why don't you go to Google to do it? I'm not going to fucking Google.

Shut up. You can just go to your podcast app and just listen to something. I don't have a fucking podcast app. Dalbert, why don't you have a podcast app? Just don't. He's listening to it right now. Yeah, it works. What's the quality like, though? Not too bad. Really? Just don't. He's listening to it right now. Yeah, it works. What's the quality like, though?

Not too bad. Really? Works for me. Good. They look disgusting. And I asked the woman who was selling them, do they work?

She said, everything here, it works. I would not bring it here. She was quite angry. I don't blame her. It was quite sort of... Very touchy.

Touchy about it. Because you don't get a receipt. You can't bring it back next week and say I'm sorry about these. And headphones often don't work. That's the whole point why I bought these. Or they don't work for very long. I'm sorry, Paul, I failed in every aspect this week. I said, you know, don't get Ghostbusters stuff that you... But I ended up buying

some noodles and a pair of headphones that I needed. I know. But you did get more bang for your buck. You actually walked away with a little haul. Yeah, so in terms of the bargain prize, I think. I know. But you did get more bang for your buck. You actually walked away with a little haul. Yeah, so in terms of the bargain price, I think I did better. Yeah.

What's the worst item? Honestly? It's the coasters, isn't it? You've got the best and the worst. And I'm sort of in the middle. I would have said, personally, the headphone was the worst thing. But that's just from a pure...

Ugh. They've got a really nice green... It's not really nice green. It's the same kind of green you'd find in a bathroom in the 70 thing. But that's just from a pure... They've got a really nice green colour. It's not really nice green. It's the same kind of green you'd find in a bathroom in the 70s. That's what I'm trying to mean to them. Well, there you go. So, how do we sum up this episode of Cheap Show, then? Thanks for listening, and it's been

fun. It's been different, hasn't it? It's been fun. And I'm ready to do it again. I've got more of an idea. We need to classify the rules a bit better. So, we can see... We're feeling it again. I've got more of an idea. We need to classify the rules a bit better. Yeah. So we can see. We're feeling it out. But maybe next time we'll have teams.

You can feel yourself out. Oh, pardon. Right, so... So you're going to have your little Eli Silverman mini restaurant now where you're going to make your cup noodles in your little plates and add a little bit of sauce to it

and then bounce your ball on your table that's been reserved all night even though it's the only table in the house. I'm liking my reserve sign collection and that's probably the item I'm most pleased with. It's not spunk, it's wax. Spunk doesn't do that

when it dries. It just smells a bit pissy. Oh god. Did you have to go there? Yeah. Well, there you go. That was our cheap show. Car boot sale special from the Holloway Road car boot sale.

Possibly one of the most, if not the most, depressing car boot sales I've ever been to. But I've heard there are bigger and better elsewhere in London. we'll start we'll do it every couple of months or so we'll go to one

and you know maybe we'll have a team maybe we'll get Ash and get him to go on a bit of a we'll have a team thing like bargain hunts yes

and then we'll get someone to adjudicate also that's the other thing you cheated on the time limit I know I lost track of time basically I was thinking oh gotta get some stuff

oh gotta get some stuff started buying half an hour later I come up to you you're like I was thinking, oh, got to get some stuff, oh, got to get some stuff. I started buying. Half an hour later, I come up to you, you're like, I'm thinking about an item. You know? I lost track of time.

There needs to be adjudication and umpireship. Yeah, there does be. There does be. There does need to be. There does be. Yes, there does need to be. I'm going to ask you,

you know what, I'm going to stand by that. There does be. Okay. Thanks, everyone. Thanks, everyone. Thank you for listening to another episode of Cheap Show.

Please subscribe please to any podcast or iTunes. If you're on iTunes why not leave a review. It doesn't take too second. Leave a star rating

and the more we get the more it appears on the charts then. Even if they give us a low rating. No give us a nice one. Yeah but even if they give us a low rating.

Yeah but I don't know if it will take us down if we get loads of bad ones which we'll get. I know we're going to get bad ones. So basically only vote if you like us and you want to give us at least three stars. And then it will help.

Yeah. It will help us get noticed on the iTunes chart. And then more people will see it and more people will be visible to it, right? It's that simple. Also, if you liked what you heard, tell your friends, share the wealth, tell us on Twitter, follow us on Twitter at thecheapshowpod and email us all your funny stories or life hack tips

or anything I've lost I've lost the will to live questions ask Eli ask Eli on Twitter hashtag asksilverman on Twitter

or email us at what is it thecheapshow.co no that's the website thecheapshow.co.uk I'm tired you always make such a meal of this shit.

You know, it's like longer than the actual episode. I know. Right, here we go. On Twitter, at The Cheap Show Pod. The website where you can see pictures and videos of the episodes that you've enjoyed is thecheapshow.co.uk. And then finally email us at thecheapshow at gmail.com. Shut up. Shut it. I'm tired. Are you sure you're finished? Yeah. And then finally email us at thecheapshow at gmail.com.

Shut up. Shut it. I'm tired. Are you sure you're finished? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Thanks, Paul.

Thanks, Eli. See you. I won something.