CheapShow - Ep 39: The House of Pickles 3

Episode Date: April 3, 2017

It's another mini episode, fuelled by YOU! This is a semi-special House of Pickles as 50% of it is coming from America. Eli Silverman is living the dream in Florida and Paul decides to check in to find out just how badly Eli reacted to a gummy bear dipped in drugs. #AskSilverman returns and the Cheap Chaps answer your carefully (and not so carefully) considered questions... Covering anything from Noodles to noodles, music and photography... and more bloody noodles! We also announce our forthcoming live show. www.thecheapshow.co.uk for more details! Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... all that jazz! WARNING *Show contains strong language and adult material

Hello, only Paul from Cheap Show. How are you doing? Now, before we get started on our next new episode, the one you're about to listen to right now with eager ears, I just thought I'd mention something to you. If you'd like to see Cheap Show live, now you can. We have a show booked in London. So if you're near London or you can get to London on the 23rd, a Sunday of April this year, you can come and see Cheap Show live me and Eli doing what we do but live and we have a very special guest we are being joined by Stuart Ashen many of you know him through Barshens and of course his own channel Ashen's so come and see live Ashen's live Cheap Show and maybe a few surprise guests as well in London on the 23rd of April this year it starts at 8pm it's in London

in Angel at a great comedy venue the Angel Comedy Venue the Bill Murray pub in London you're going to see our show but not only that for five pounds not only can you bring a friend for free so you can split the difference but you can also see a recording of another podcast called the Heptagon Club it's a chat show comedy kind of thing. And it's hosted by a comedian called Paul Corenza. Good friend of mine. He's the writer of Miranda. Not going out.

He's been involved with Top Gear as well. So come along. Pay £5. See two shows. Loads of great guests. Paul's got some great guests lined up for his show as well. And it will be a bargain. And you're helping podcasts.

So if you want to see us live, now's your chance. If you want more information information go to our website it's www.thecheapshow.co.uk you can also go to the venues website itself angelcomedy.co.uk forward slash events forward slash live dash podcast dash night and make your reservation there only a fiver and you're seeing two shows and you can bring a friend for free that's pretty bloody good right shut up now it's time for me to introduce you to another episode in the house of pickles Hello, welcome to a brand new edition of Cheap Show Mini House of Pickles, live this time from USA. Hello America! Howdy! House of Pickles 3 yo. Yo innit. So how is it stateside?

Mate I'm having a wonderful time here in the US of A. Excellent. I have a corned beef sandwich sitting in front of me. There's two different types of pickle. Oh my god. And potato salad. So for people who may not know you have relatives who live in Florida, you're out in Florida visiting relatives and enjoying some very good weather, company and drinking no doubt. Yes. Oh bless you. So what have you been up to then? Well we visited Miami the other day. big music festival on at miami at this weekend miami if anyone does a pun does someone in the background go wow why would they do that oh because it's a reference to csi miami and it just dawned on me you've probably not watched that before

yeah because i'm not a boring idiot right fine, fine, cool. Moving on. Anyway, you went to the music festival. I didn't go to the music festival. There's a festival on this weekend that's just gone called Ultra. What kind of music is it? It's all dance music for the young. For the young folk. Yes, and so we went down and we had some meals. And me and my two sisters, this is, and then yesterday, no, the day before

yesterday, we decided to have a little walk to downtown Miami, Lincoln Boulevard. Oh, just so you know, Eli, I am getting bored of this already, so speed it up. And you're going to like it, it takes a turn now. Oh, okay. It takes a turn. Okay. Then in a Starbucks, I decided to eat an edible cannabis candy. Right. But you didn't buy it at Starbucks, though, did you?

No. No. Right, because I was going to say, they're not that lax with their weed policy there. No, but it is. I mean, I think they've medicalised it here in Florida. Oh, Florida's one of those states. I just don't know. i just don't know i just don't know and so i did that and then um i uh freaked out totally in starbucks you freaked

out or just no because i we ate it i ate it in starbucks and then we walked for another half hour and i started to come up hard and right well i'm sorry you got wrecked with your two sisters out in miami yeah it was me it was just me who got wrecked oh okay so your sisters were just witnesses to me having a paranoid freak out at a restaurant we tried to get a drink and uh i thought the weight was trying to kill me and then i had to use the loo so i asked him but this restaurant was out on the sort of on the pavement you know like uh there were chairs out on the pavement because it's boiling hot and uh so i went up to the waiter who was standing by the door to the restaurant and asked where's the toilet he said it's to the right down there next door and it's really like

that moment in goodfellas i was gonna say it's just like that's in Goodfellas. I was going to say, it's just like that bit in Goodfellas. You know, where Robert De Niro, it seems like he's trying to get Karen, the lead character's wife, killed off, you know? I thought you were talking about that bit where they forced Pacino to do his first kill and they put the gun in the toilet. That's the Godfather. Yeah, that's what you said. I didn't. Goodfellas. All right, anyway, oh, then I meant Godfather. Yeah, that's what you said. No, I didn't. Good fellas. Alright, anyway,

oh, then I meant Godfather. It's all the same fucking shit though, isn't it? It's not, is it? It's all the same shit. If someone said that about Ghostbusters, said, oh, Ghostbusters, that's the same as Ghost, with Whoopi fucking Goldberg in it, you'd have a conniption fit.

I'd have to agree with them on some level. It would be remiss of me not to. Excuse me, do you see a comparison towards Ghost and Ghostbusters? Well, yes, they both take part in a physical world. They both relate to the supernatural. They both involve a Ghostbuster and there's closure. Except, you know, in Ghostbusters you get an awesome big marshmallow man

and in Ghost you get Nookie on a pottery wheel, which just doesn't work for me Thank you, so anyway Think about this, I'm sure I'm remembering this wrong but in Ghost when Whoopi Goldberg gets possessed by Patrick Swayze at the end so he can inhabit her or something

don't they end up making out? Don't Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg make out? I have no idea seeing as I don't watch shit movies. Have I been masturbating to the wrong scenes in my head? Basically, yes. Because the idea

of Whoopi and Demi getting it on gives me a full-on chub, mate. Really? Yeah. Come on. A Demi Whoopi sounds like a sex act anyway. So anyway, he pointed next door. I gave her a Demi Whoopi. Not a full Whoopi, a Dem-whoopee sounds like a sex act anyway. So anyway, he pointed next door. I gave her a demi-whoopee. Not a full whoopee, a demi-whoopee.

A semi-whoopee, right. You went to the toilet. Yeah, that's the end of that story. Oh, is that it? Well, yeah. When's it going to take a turn? Basically, my sister found that she'd left her phone in Starbucks. This is when I'm starting to peak really hard on this uh it was a it was a uh gummy bear oh it was the head

of a gummy bear uh infused with uh uh skunk but let me tell you something paul let me tell you something they are not messing around with these cannabis edibles out here you know really well i just have this sort of uh i've never really done it before and i had this sort of idea that it was just like some sprinkles and people have put in a cookie you know what i mean that would be yeah i had a really full stomach at the time when i took it and i thought this is just going to be you know lightweight kids kids just for the record kids don't use drugs but also if you do use them make sure it's good shit like eli's getting in florida good good and um i just i kind of uh underestimated the power of this uh thing

but once i once i was chewing it down it was like intense extract of skunk and my god i came up like it's like that's also you can really bring back with you, though, in your suitcase, isn't it, that stuff? No. I ate it all anyway. Shame. It would have been a nice cheap eats, actually, section of the show. It would have been great, honestly.

It would have been great. You should do that. So anyway, my sister lost her phone, so we had to go back to Starbucks to pick it up, and it was all like complicated and i was freaking out it was really busy and really hot and like uh uh we got in an uber eventually we waited for an uber and i was freaking out the uber driver spoke no english and he had some crazy radio station blaring in the back and as soon as i got in this ad started hey you want to

know how to flip houses in the fort lauderdale area with other people's money? It was like that. Right. You know what I mean? Aggressive. It was really aggressive. Flipping houses. It's really easy.

Don't be a schmuck. Like that. Are you literally sitting there with your hands on your knees just kind of blowing air out of your mouth in a kind of hyperventilating way? Yes. Excellent. Excellent. It sounds like you're having a really fun time out there. Today I went to Ben's Kosher Deli and got a huge

corned beef sandwich with two different types of pickles, thrown in for three. Wow. And a potato salad, and I'm drinking root beer with ice. You literally live the dream when you're out there, don't you? Yeah, if the dream is to stuff your face and lol around.

And take drugs. You know? Well, how's your recent life been, Paul? Well, I took part in a film shoot on Friday for a project I can't talk about for the signing off reasons, but it involved me being a zombie again for the third time in a row. Okay, great. So were you a featured zombie or just a background zombie? I was a background zombie. Well, that was fine.

I didn't want to be a featured one anyway. Where were they shooting that? Brixton. It was kind of a complicated deal. And I get the idea it was for some kind of advert for some video game or something. But the idea was zombies attack uh this taxi people get eaten lots of blood everywhere however the person the taxi doesn't know this is all staged and so they freak out could it a prank kind of thing but it was well shot and very well filmed and it looked

good from what i saw and you got uh reimbursed uh handsomely for your time and effort i did okay and also did i tell you this so the shoot was really you know non-eventful I mean if you've ever been on a film shoot you know it's 85% standing around certainly is and 10% doing something

and then 5% being shouted at for being in the wrong place I always say like to throw in about 1.5% of having a crafty wank well I couldn't do it on this

shoot but maybe my next why not was there no toilet You could always find somewhere to... Well, no, they had a toilet on there, but it was weird, because it was on the roof of this multi-storey car park where they were filming in Brixton. And so the toilet was kind of like a hipster's kind of rooftop toilet, where it looked like it was like a barn. What, it was like a tiki hut or something?

Well, put it one way. I'm standing taking a piss but I can see everyone staring at me because I could just slat in these woods in a shed type thing built on this roof. So you're peeing into a porta potty but ultimately you're staring at your friends. That's only for specialist wankers who can

close out the visual stimulus. I know but I don't want to stand there with my face on full show, even if they can't see everything else. Just by my face they know what I'm doing. Yeah. All the grimacing and the blowing of air. Let me tell you something, Paul. You're a real gurner. You're a real gurner.

Mate, when I have sex, I think my girlfriend closes their eyes because I think she knows. It's like looking at one of those 1950s seaside postcards of a gurning man in the toilet seat. I think she holds her nose

as well, doesn't she? Yeah, she does. Anyway. Because you smell. Yes, yes,

Eli, I got it. So what, you've got some fucking questions for me or something? I do as well, but basically

the end of the story is this. I missed out on the food trolley when it came around for the film shoot so i thought i'll just grab something later and um the only thing they had left was quiche so i grabbed the quiche took a big bite out of it and went this tastes funny and then realized oh it's jam-packed full of fish swimming swimming with fish yeah swimming with fish and so um suddenly the director shouts everyone to this you know spots we're gonna shoot and i was like oh shit and i get there on set and suddenly my tongue starts swelling up because i'm having an allergic reaction to the fish and when the director goes paul are you all right i was like no all right he went great you're in

character i was like no, I'm maybe dying. But actually, the tongue swelled down quite quickly. I was all right in the end. But I've never heard of fish quiche before in my life. Well, yeah. Have you? Yes. Salmon is a favourite on quiches.

It's probably with salmon. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. But either way, I learnt a valuable lesson. Be careful what you put in your mouth. Have a good look at it first. Especially quiches. Quiches have all sorts of mystery stuff they can put in there.

There's a whole range of stuff that could end up in a quiche, from nuts to fish to sausage, cured meats, uncured meats, peppers. You could end up with peppers. Some people are allergic to peppers. Right, moving on. Let's do the questions. Let's do the questions. Let's do the questions. meats, peppers. You could end up with peppers. Some people are allergic to peppers. Right, moving on. Let's do the questions. Let's do the questions. Let's do the questions.

Questions, questions. Not just listing things in a quiche. Fuck. Ready? Yeah. We've had quite a nice reaction, actually, to the Ask Silverman hashtag on our Twitter page. So I've got...

Where should we start? First of all, someone's been listening to Ali Be Good a lot because of our podcast, and they can't get out of their head, and they're blaming us. Ali Be Good. Yeah. One lady text on Twitter to say that

the scene from our last podcast where I explained to you what it'd be like to see you swallow a massive lump of hair from a shower, that made her retch at a bus stop. So, you know, we're having an effect. Reach it out to people. Right, this is from oswald cobble pot is this an actual question now is it yes we're getting into the question so um eli what is the worst brand and flavor of noodles eli's ever had is it a pot noodle of some sort well you know it's easy to, Mr Cobblepot, it's easy to attack pot noodles. And indeed, they are. It is.

They're pretty shit. And the problem with British noodles, and I think, I don't know what it is. It's something about some people who brought noodles over here who had some kind of perception about British tastes. had some kind of perception about British tastes what they tend to do with British noodles Cross and Blackwell hot pot noodles being a perfect example

Fuck, I hate the noodle question so much is they add corn flour or sort of thickening agent and instead of you getting a sort of clear watery broth, which I personally prefer on my soup noodles you end up with a slop a gloopy slop and i think you may have seen this yourself paul on a pot noodle

yeah it gets a bit gelatinous that's right so i think that's the problem and so to answer your question mr cobble pot i don't like super noodles oh that's a very good choice. They're fucking awful. Yeah, they really ruin the whole reputation of instant noodles in this country. And for years, instant noodles have been bottom of the bottom, student food, you know? And I think the image, I mean, me and other people are... I think it's mostly you, mate.

...are working to rehabilitate the image of instant ramen noodles, style noodles in this country. You are. Thank you for your question. Right, next one. This is from Dr. Douglas. He says, I hope this one doesn't offend the Chinese like the last one.

So he says, hi, Eli. Bit of a gardening dilemma for you. The neighbours have been complaining about a rather pungent smell wafting from my garden, specifically from under the newly planted rose bushes at the bottom of the garden. My recently deceased mother once told me that lime was great for meaty smells

but it hasn't really touched it. Any tips on how to mask this stench? Cheers. Okay, so I'm reading in between the lines here, Mr. Dagless. Obviously troubled. It seems to me that he's killed his mum. I'm sensing so.

And one of the last her parting words were, get some lime out to deal with my meaty smell of decay. Which are funny last words, aren't they, really? But at least she was being practical. Yeah. You know what? I'd go down Camden Market yeah get some nag champa yeah some nag champa incense that always used to work okay work with me when i was uh smoking weed in my room and uh just stick that there and go

isn't it suspicious to have a big row of incense burning in your garden non-stop near a rose bush newly planted? Paul, I'll tell you what's suspicious. It's fucking burying your mum's corpse under a rose bush. Yeah, sorry. I forgot that was the main point here. Don't worry about the incense. The incense is helping, yeah?

That's my error. I take it back. I didn't think that through. See, what I would suggest is put a greenhouse down there, right, and grow marijuana because the stench of that will cover the smell of the death. And if they go arrest you, they're not going to arrest you. It's like double jeopardy. They're not going to search under it because they think the manger crime is on top of it.

Yeah, okay. That's good. Yeah, the bait and switch, eh? The bait and switch. Oh, that's good. The old rope technique. Is that something you learned from CSI Miami as well? No.

Good. So, in conclusion, stab your mum's dead body with loads of incense sticks, light them on fire, and have a hippie-style burning pyre funeral. I like it. Maybe get the Red Hot Chili Peppers to play at the end of your garden. Yeah, maybe like Love Roller Coaster,

sort of like that upbeat. Right, so next question from Rhiannon. She sent a few, just very short ones. What's your favourite type of noodle ever? Make it quick. Paul, I can't be quick with this. Come on. This is a...

Just say that black oyster oil one. Well, it's not the black oyster one, and it's black garlic. And you know what? I think myself and at least half our listenership are getting sick of your nonchalant... Your nonchalant attitude, yeah? Your dismissive attitude towards noodles.

So let me just say, at the moment, it would be the Nissan black garlic oil tonkotsu. Right, so, okay, great. Next question she asks is, Eli, anywhere in the world you would love to visit? Well, yeah, I'd love to visit Japan. I think that's got to be the top of my list.

Yeah, can you do a good Japanese accent? I will not attempt that, and I think it's remiss of you to suggest that. Ah. Ah, so. Yeah, next question. Where would you like to suggest that ah ah so next yeah next question where would you like to go did you say japan yeah i wasn't i zone in and out mate um hannah cookie says when did eli discover his love for noodles and also why is it called the house of pickles well hannah we have explained why it's called the House of Pickles. So do your research, love, and come back to us on that one.

Sorry, so rude. But Eli, when did you start becoming a lover of the noodle? Well, I think I first started my love of noodles with boarding school. I was at boarding school and it was a very popular, it was a vegetarian boarding school with some culinary issues like serving salad in big washing up tubs. That was one of the problems. And also the amount of cheese that was stuffed into every single dish you could possibly imagine.

Basically, they made up for the lack of meat with cheese. A common complaint I often have to deal with on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong, cheese is fine, but it's slow. So a lot of these students would supplement this kind of boring diet by bringing food items from home, Paul. And what is more easy than an instant noodle for this job? Well, exactly. What is? Excuse me.

Bloody hell. God fucking Nora. Sorry, I'm eating a corn beef sandwich. You've made that very fucking apparent about what you're doing. Anyway, so the first brand I came across, which you don't see very much these days, are Dole.

Dole noodles. The flavour was chicken brand I came across which you don't see very much these days are doll doll noodles and okay the flavor was chicken and it's it was a great basic basic one sachet noodle uh square format very standard and uh and we used to eat those and then um my friend Katie told me I could eat them with chocolate on so I tried that she was lying. And that was an early thing. And then basically I developed a pimping style for these noodles, which I stuck with for years. I've moved on now. But basically it involved bacon, which I'd fry up separately and chop into,

sweet corn and spring onions, and Kona hot sauce and a load of soy and also to answer the first question basically it's the house of pickles because of the unnaturally high brine levels it just naturally occurs in my room it's all very briny space

it would be nice if you met's all very briny space. Yeah. Things tend to get pickled. It'd be nice if you met a girl called briny. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? Yeah, it'd be nice if I met a girl. End of sentence. Well, you know, one problem at a time. And it's not very likely, seeing as my dick is pickled.

Only by choice, mate. It's not by choice. It's about the brine levels in my room. Well, then get rid of the brine levels. How am I going to get rid of the brine levels? Get rid of the pickles from your bedroom. All right. See?

Problem solved. Paul will fix it. Ah. Right. So, I just want to make a point right now, if that's all right in the show, to just say, no more fucking noodle questions, please.

Just, by all means, send them in. I'm not going to read any more out. Oh, come on. One a week. One a week. One a week, Paul. Can we agree on that? But I'm not... Look, how many questions can there be?

What's your favourite? When do you get your first one? What would you recommend? What's your worst? That's it. People want to hear it. They want to hear about my love of noodles, Paul. It's a passion.

Yeah, do you understand? People have a passion. They have a shared passion. Yeah. But, mate, what. People have a passion. They have a shared passion. Yeah. But mate, what I would suggest to you is it's a limited passion. So eek it out, right? Eek it out. Well, how about this?

How about this for a compromise? You don't have to look at the noodle questions. You just forward them all onto me and I'll select the best one. Well, you do know you get added into the Twitter conversation, so you could also read them yourself. I can't work Twitter. Twitter's all, it's the wrong way round. It's the wrong way round.

I go, I get a notification on Twitter and all I get is your end of a conversation. Yeah, Eli would do that with a fucking vibrator.

Yeah, I don't even know what the fucking first part of the question is and I don't know how to find it either because Twitter's shit. They're losing money.

They're losing money, Twitter. Do you know that? Because they suck. Why can't we just merge them? Merge Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and WhatsApp and Snapchat? What, and live in a kind of unitarian, one-government,

one-tier internet system where we all get fed it through one big pipe? There's no choice. We're all forced the Facebook way. Is that what you want? To live in some kind of totalitarian state? It would be easier. Well, yeah, I agree with you. It would be a lot easier. Yeah, well, there you go. Well, there you go. Any more questions?

Yes, there's quite a few. So, Alison's texting saying, Eli, your Instagram pics are fascinating. Tell me what you are looking for when taking them. Aha! Yes! The game's afoot! Yes, yes well thanks for noticing my instagram you know a few people like it i've been noticing um i look for architectural

details i like decay i like interesting refuse rubbish um you know poignantly strewn rubbish and empty spaces, I like little spaces in between where people live so liminal half spaces by the side of train tracks or Eli, are you the world's first professional tramp? I'm not a professional tramp Oh, so you're just a tramp? I'm not a tramp

The House of Pickles is a residence, Paul It sounds quite oblique. Are you even on Instagram, you fucking dick? Yeah, I am, actually. Gannon Planet, where I put lovely pictures of smiling things and joyous moments. Not fucking Christ, the latest fucking movie by Ken Roach. I don't put movies on it. All empty spaces. I love, of course, brutalist architecture, vernacular brutalism, which is sort of the stuff that isn't been celebrated so much,

but just clutters up our towns and cities, Paul, our towns and cities. And yeah, yeah. I don't have a real sort of a formula for it, but I just like to take a lot of snaps and then sort of select a few and do my own bit of filtering. And I'm glad that my instagram feed is getting some uh some

love allison thank you thank you it is it gets it gets a lot of love from from our audience oh right uh question here from matthias uh very quick one what's your opinion on sriracha yay or nay for pimping noodles with it oh it's another you're not going to ever escape this paul even when i don't when i die they're going to be asking you to commute with me and do a noodle medium session oh god where i embody in ectoplastic noodle strands and uh you know drip all over your face mate if you can't be arsed to do Skype half the time, how do you fucking think I'm going to get you on a Ouija board? Ah, fuck that. Well, to answer your question, sriracha, fine.

It's fine for pimping noodles. But you know what's put me off it is when on Barshan's we did the weird combo taste test thing. Oh, yeah, with the Oreos. We did sriracha on orange slices, if you remember. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it really,

really brought out the stale garlic flavour of that sriracha sauce. Mmm. So it is lovely. I think not, more on sort of barbecue dishes, meat dishes,

rather than actual noodles. I think, it's fine on noodles, but it wouldn't be my top, top chilli sauce for a noodle. Especially a soup but it wouldn't be my top top chili sauce for a noodle especially a soup noodle wouldn't be my first choice um i'll tell you what out here i've noticed paul they are crazy for hot sauce and in fact i've noticed sriracha is the big big sort of

um oh it's the big player yeah it's big big trendy sauce out here at the moment, to the extent where I've seen Tabasco branded Sriracha. So, you know... What? Yeah. It's getting in on the deal. I bet you're bringing some of that back, aren't you? I can't bring any back. That's the real problem, because of...

Like, anything back? Well, no, because I'm not checking anything in, so I can't... Oh, I'm bringing some dry goods. Do you want us to discuss that now? No, save it for when you bring the food back can I just mention

this one thing that I've got Paul that I think you'll appreciate because it's got nothing to do with noodles good

I've got the family feud strikeout card game oh yeah bing-a-ling-a-ding and it's really good because lots

of the questions are like really racist and sexist sexist. Sexist as all fuck, man, I tell you. So we'll have some fun with that. Well, if I can get my hands on it as well, I've seen in a charity shop

a board game version of Deal or No Deal. So I think we should get that. And I think episode 40 should be our sequel to our quiz show special. Okay, so can we maybe do the Family Feud in that as well? A bit of that? Family Feud, Deal or No Deal, and I'm Thinking Bullseye.

Great. Classic trio. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Classic. We'll have that, I think, for episode 40. And I think we can announce as well right now that we're going to be doing a live show in London.

Woo! Come see my noodle. Come smell my... I'm going to leave this in live show in London. Woo! Come see my noodle! Come smell my... I'm going to leave this in the edit, on the off chance it all happens. But basically, the date is April 23rd. We're sharing it with Paul Corenza's Heptagon Club podcast. Who are they? What is that? Well, it's Paul's podcast where he speaks to people he works with

and people he knows. Well, what does he do? Is he the ventriloquist? No, he's a comedian and writer he's written for Top Gear he's also written for oh what's that Lee Mack sitcom

oh yeah yeah that one next that one I'm really awful I wrote it down half an hour ago

and I can't remember anyway we'll be doing that there'll be more information on our website soon so keep an eye out on that and details will be confirmed

but yes it'll be in London at the Bill be more information on our website soon, so keep an eye out on that, and details will be confirmed. But yes, it'll be in London at the Bill Murray Pub on Sunday, the 23rd of April. Tickets will be going on sale, and it'll be one price, one ticket, two shows. Right, I think that's fair. Yeah, that sounds very fair. And can I just say, Paul, I'm getting a mental froth on. And do you know what we've been recommending we do live,

which we've never done? What? Don't Get Mad Live. Okay, we'll do that, yeah. Yeah, alright, cool. Brilliant. That would definitely alienate half the audience who have not come to see our show. So just to recap, Sriracha, yes, very good, but not my top noodle pimping sauce. Thank you.

Alright, cool. We're getting to the end of these questions then. Stephen, or Wonderspoon, says, how big is your record collection yeah good question stephen uh i think i think even you know i i don't i haven't actually counted but i think i must be at around 3 000 seven inch singles now and maybe 500 lps uh and 12 inches really shut up I was going to contest something then but it's ok I really should count them

and sort them out but what I picked up Paul out here I went to a charity shop we went thrift shopping as they call it out here I've picked up a really weird LP it's called morari and it's by a band who are in a bargwan yogi guru center in uh oregon in kentucky or whatever

and i'm looking forward to listening to that because it looks well culty and weird from 1979 well save all that for the show because people like the vinyl selection obviously okay and hopefully you'll be bringing back some more cheap eats from America. That would be lovely. Well, I didn't want to mention them now, because you don't want to ruin it. But yes, the cheap eats. Yes, that's all we need to know. Okay.

We're just hanging a lantern on it. Okay. Right, last question then, and then we'll get out of here. All right. So, Alex, I guess, on Twitter says, Eli, how do you feel knowing that people have sexy dreams about you? Because one or two people on Twitter have said they've recently had weird sex dreams about you.

Well, it's my plan coming together. All of those years studying psychic dream manipulation and the black art. So basically you're turning into a sex Freddy Krueger. Basically I'm a diminutive sex Freddy Krueger. I like it. And I've got glass fingernails. With pickles on your fingers.

I've got glass fingernails. No pickles. Right. I've got glass. Pickles on the end. I've got glass. No. There's no glass in this.

I also have normal pickles on each fingertip. Oh, what, like the blades of Freddy Krueger's knives? Yes, but also, what a lot of people don't understand is in order to enter other people's dreams, you have to have your fingernails replaced with pieces of glass. So that's just a, you know... That's just basic admin. That's a true fact.

So does it concern you, though, that there are young, impressionable minds out there having maybe some formative sex dreams about you, featuring you? I mean, I don't know if you're involved in the sex. I'm involved. I don't know if you're watching. I'm involved. All watching.

Are you? Yeah. I'm actually involved mentally with this, Paul. This is what I'm trying to say to you. I infect the minds of others through my voice and the tinkling of my fingernails. Yeah? Yes. Do you want to say anything else legally creepy? It's going to happen again and again. through my voice and the tinkling of my fingernails. And, uh, yes. Do you want to say anything else, Legally Creepy?

It's going to happen again and again, and it'll just get more and more intense. You're making it sound like a threat, mate. Fucking hell. What? I'm the dream reaper. You sound like the fucking Zodiac Killer. It's going to happen again and again and again. I'm the reaper of people's dreams.

And on that unsettling note, I think it's time we put this episode of the House of Pickles mini episode of Cheap Show to bed. So, Eli, where can they follow you on Twitter? That's Eli Snoid, that's E-L-I-S-N-O-I-D. You can follow the Cheap Show podcast

at thecheapshowpod on Twitter. You can go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk, for all sorts of lovely things. We post pictures related to each episode on that website and more fun things as well. What else? An email. I just want to mention something.

I just want to mention something. Yeah. Iceberg lettuce. The fight back continues. You're a right proper dick, Waddu, aren't you, at times? Right. So finally, email us if you want to about everything via the website, or you can do it, thecheapshowatgmail.com.

And that's it. We've got another episode coming up in about a week and a half's time. We're going to try and do three episodes a month now. So two full, one mini. That sounds like a good challenge. Talking about the Patreon soon, sorting that out soon. But until then, until then, Eli, enjoy the rest of Florida. I'll see you soon.

When are you back? In a couple of days' time. Oh, well, I'll be in London next weekend on a top secret project. Oh, great. So let's meet up. Yeah. Yay. All right, cool.

Eli, sign us off with one of your witty words. Iceberg letters forever! Oh, I hate my life. Bye everyone! Bye bye!