CheapShow - Ep 406: All Water Under The Bridge (Mono Edition)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh hello, oh who's this? Why it's me, it's Mr Paul Ramblin' Gannon and I'm joined by my cohort. Perambulating Silverman, hello everybody. Perambulating Silverman and Ramblin' Gannon here taking you on another walkabout episode for the Cheap Show podcast and Mr Silverman why won't you today tell everyone what we're doing on this week's edition of the Economy Comedy podcast. I'll tell you why I won't. Why won't you? No, tell me why you won't.

Starting point is 00:00:28 Why don't you, isn't it? Why won't you? Isn't it usually why don't you? No, why don't you is a kids show from the 1980s. I love that show. We're not getting off on a tangent, it's too early for tangents. You said why won't you, which to me is asking me why I'm refusing to. And Paul, let me tell you.

Starting point is 00:00:44 Hey, who's refusing to do an intro then right now? I'm, yes, let me tell you, I'm not refusing to, okay? I will not be refusing to do this intro. But you are by default. It's about to happen. It's about to happen. Do it then, otherwise I'm proven right. Hello everybody, we are walking the length today. The length of the Regents Canal.

Starting point is 00:01:04 Length. We're going the opposite way round from Girth. We're walking the length and girth of... We probably will be walking the girth as well, but that's quite easy because you just cross it on a bridge and that's the girth. And we were inspired to do this walk today Paul by a YouTuber that we watch, John Rogers, who did this walk and he counted the bridges. Did you bring your clicker?

Starting point is 00:01:34 You didn't bring your clicker did you? Eww he did. Did Gannon bring his clicker? Hang on. I'm excited, we're going to count the bridges of the Regents Canal everybody today. Paul, can I entrust that to you, task I've lost me clicker there's the book what round thing that's my magnifying glass I've got me Clipper everyone yeah are you fuck Paul. Did you?

Starting point is 00:02:06 It's not the end of the world if you forgot it. I fuck this. This is off. We're cancelling this if we don't have the clicker. Here we go. Yeah he's got it. Hey. Right reset it. Now it is reset.

Starting point is 00:02:15 I just want to give a sound of the clicker. That would be like seven bridges. Now here's the problem though. Where do you start counting bridges from? Well this is the mouth. we're at the very mouth because this is Limehouse Basin in East London. We're just literally just a few hundred meters away from Canary Wharf number one.

Starting point is 00:02:35 Oh aye. Which is the pyramid shaped building in Canary Wharf in East London. And so that's the first bridge. What do you mean, bridges that cross, that we go under? Oh you mean that we go under? you mean bridges that cross that we go under? Oh you mean that we go under? Yeah. Yeah bridges that we go under. Yeah and also and also does it is that the first bridge that one there? Of course. Oh there's two bridges though isn't there? There's a little pedi bridge. No that little pedi bridge we're not going to go under that.

Starting point is 00:02:57 But we go past it and it counts as a bridge across the canal. So that's what we're doing today, we're walking. How long is the walk in terms of mileage? It is 8.6 according to the Wikipedia article I briefly glanced at on my way down here Paul. Built over 200 years ago, the canal and it links Limehouse Basin here which is in the far east of London it's not the far east it's very near central London really but yeah is east and then goes all the way to past Regents Park which is why it gets its name, to Paddington Basin, where in the west of London, and then there is another canal that comes off Paddington Basin, the Grand Union, and that stretches for hundreds of miles up into... And we touched on that

Starting point is 00:03:55 at the second part of the Selendene Walk didn't we, we touched on that. We did, we did, because it's that part of town like the far west reaches but this is going to be quite a long one do you think we might have end up splitting it into two parts with soggy hems? Hey look if we have to we have to but we're going to give you as much length as possible over the next however long this episode ends up being so we've just had a coffee and we're having a smoke. I was going to say that yeah. Terrible. This whole, this ledge, there's a massive ledge around here.

Starting point is 00:04:28 The whole thing, this bit here that I'm patting has spiky concrete nubules. You can't sleep on that, could you? And here, up here, you've got these horrible spikes. Spikes. I don't know what you want to say, I agree. But also by a sign saying water bus. But where does the water bus go from here? Because it's a canal. I think the water bus might be some kind of defunct canal tourist thing. It's a very ornate

Starting point is 00:04:54 sign isn't it? It's a two piece metal... Wait, what's that over there? That arch? That big green arch? Is that a station or what's that? It's the back of some kind of... Building. It looks like the back of a mall or something to me. I thought it was like a train station. It looks like a.... Oh it could be couldn't it? I don't know. We are both very unfamiliar with this particular part of London. Now Regents Canal though Paul

Starting point is 00:05:14 is something that's very familiar to me my whole life. I first encountered Regents Canal when I used to visit Camden Town and the market and Camden Lock as a child and that is we'll be passing through there we'll see the day. Pass through there a lot it's one of the most it's one of the most visited areas in the Cheap Show cannon is it? Well we're going right through it. Right through its guts. Okay I'm ready to set off are you gonna well we're gonna say anything else? We'll say that when we get back because we've got a long walk, so we can't do every inch of this bloody thing.

Starting point is 00:05:48 But I'll talk about the book when we get back, when we get into the next segment. OK, and also I should mention coming up on the show, mad Indian crisps and snacks. Oh, yeah, Elo's brought a couple of accoutrements with him. It's very special, seasonally appropriate Oreo variant flavour pack. Well, good. Can you guess what that is?

Starting point is 00:06:11 Can you guess what that is? It's not the Coca-Cola one is it? No, did we try that? We tried the drink but there were biscuit versions weren't there as well? Oh, we should get hold of those. We liked the drink didn't we? Yeah, best of the creation Coca-Cola line so far but you know not the particularly it's I'm boring myself I'm boring myself right ladies and gentlemen this is this list ladies gentlemen's whatever nugget

Starting point is 00:06:34 wobbles and chundle bundles welcome to Cheap Show this is our Regents canal walk about episode why Come along with us. Raise up, raise up, not the frown. Oh, my water-rockin' song. Water-rockin' song. Water-rockin' song. Oh, my water-rockin' song. Water-rockin' singer, do do do do. Well, we're one minute into the walk and there's already violent debates about the number of bridges on this route.

Starting point is 00:07:28 We've had a small falling out but Eli was correct and I stand corrected and I take that and I admit that. Paul, you immediately fell into the terrible, frankly terrible habit of counting the upcoming bridges on the clicker and that's going to get confused. So now can we just both agree, oh look at this bridge coming up, sorry, that you will click when you emerge from beneath a bridge. When I am birthed from the bridge's arches. And any unconventional bridges like we had at the beginning, which we don't go beneath,

Starting point is 00:08:03 we'll have to deal with as they come. Bridge by bridge basis. Bridge by bridge basis, Paul. As it stands, we are at five bridges and coming up to a sixth. Yes, this is the sixth bridge and what a beauty it is. There goes the main line over it. It's a lovely old iron bridge with lovely curved rib bits. Do you see what I'm talking about?

Starting point is 00:08:24 Oh, that's lovely. Either way we will be reporting our findings to Mr. John Rogers at the end of this walk unless you split it into two. We probably won't. I mean we'll see. We don't know. We need to get some towpath beneath us and behind us Paul. You know what I'm trying to say. I'd like some gems then, by that magic, by that logic. What gems? Topaz. Topaz. You can't just say a word that reminds you of another word and try and build it into some kind of thing. Yeah, but I did, didn't I? So therefore I win. Would you like to be in charge of the click of this bridge or are you just going to take more pictures of arches. I love this bridge. This wasn't intentionally meant to be a bridge based walk but it's

Starting point is 00:09:11 become fabric of the podcast now so I mean literally we're... Bridge number six is my favourite so far just because of the girth of it. The ribs those lovely they're almost like like a ships like a ships and yes bow or like a musical instrument the side of a guitar or cello you know or violin you know yeah no it's lovely I mean they're quite utilitarian obviously but there's a certain elegance to it isn't there? well you can tell a terian if you want what? totalitarian? I'll totalitarian totalitarian? totalitopastarian Totalitarian. If you want. What? What? Totalitarian.

Starting point is 00:09:45 Oh totalitarian. Totalitopasitarian. Totalitopasitarian. Oh watch this is that a big chimney or something? Yeah. Right. I saw all this when we were trying to get in. I am getting genuinely irrationally fucked off holding this empty coffee cup and I need

Starting point is 00:09:58 to find a beer. I'm not holding it for you. No. I mean no. You know what, if I drive one round here this is very sort of residential. Why isn't it just a bin? Because everyone just chucks their shit on the floor, mate. But on the towpath, why not a little bin here,

Starting point is 00:10:09 right where the gates are? Can I harry it for you, if it's giving you so much grief? It's just that, because I'm carrying the camera and the thing and the clicker, look, I've got to get the clicker out. Ready? I am birthing from the bridge. Ugh, push, Mrs. Gannon, push, ugh.

Starting point is 00:10:21 Mwah, mwah. Why are you birthing? There we go, bridge number six, what a beaut. I've been birthed from that bridge. We're gonna go, we're hitting the East End proper now. Marlend is round here now. Well dodge area full of guffters. Guffters and grubbers. I mean this probably was a factory back in its day or something that the boats would stop by. Old brick chimney there, I've got to take a shot of that. There's the bridge. Oh I love it Randy, there's the bridge. Oh there's a few there, we're fine, we're good. Right you take a picture of this bridge and we'll see you a little bit later on the walk because

Starting point is 00:10:52 we've literally just started and this can't be a seven hour podcast. Anyway there's a chimney and we'll see you a little bit further on down the route because I don't think we've even gone a mile yet, no we haven't. This is gonna be a long walk, fuck. See you in a bit. Right well the sign says Limehouse Basin half a mile so that's how far we've gone but there's a sign there that says Ragged School. We've still got over eight miles. Just like Eminem. And there's been no sign of a bin I'm now double-fisting our empty beverage containers. But luckily I trust you and I appreciate the effort

Starting point is 00:11:33 you're making for me on my behalf. You're holding the mic. Sing it loud. Yeah so Ragged School Museum and Ragged Cafe. Now every time we do a walk it's always like, oh Paul this is where daddy took me for walker skateboarding tricks back when I was a little baby and I'm like alright yeah oh Pol this is where I did walkies and it's like yeah yeah yeah yeah oh this is where it's like yeah we get it you live in London you've lived in London all your life and you've got many memories attached to certain locations get it got it good however this is one I can claim this ragged school is the first place I ever investigated as a ghost hunter, quote unquote,

Starting point is 00:12:09 ghost hunter. Oh, the first ever? First ever haunted house I ever went to on one of these organised ghost hunting nights. You were severely depressed at the time, yeah? I mean, it's all in the book, which is coming out next year, but... Did this place lift your mood or did it inspire you to do it more? I carried on doing it for four more years afterwards. It must have been a good experience is what I'm trying to get at. Was it good? Yeah. So Ragged School, way back in the day

Starting point is 00:12:35 when it was first built, was built by Dr. Menardos and it was the first poor school of London which meant kids who would normally not ever get an education at all could get a basic reading, writing, maths education before they were thrown into a coal mine at the age of eight. It's the forerunner to the public school system. So Ragged School has this legacy of being one of the first schools of its type in the country. Fast forward, you know, 100 odd years or wherever we are now and effectively it's got all this

Starting point is 00:13:07 history and there are ghosts here allegedly of a headmaster and a janitor and all these kind of ghosts and first place I went to when I got in touch with this ghost hunting group called Compass Paranormal was come along to the one in London at Ragged School. Came over and had my first night here Where certain spooky things happen, but nothing, you know Amazingly conclusive at all nothing that changed my mind But it was my first night as a ghost hunter and I enjoyed it and it led to a whole adventure That lasted years and will be released as a book next year on Unbound

Starting point is 00:13:44 So that's it. That's that and I've just taken oh did we go on a bridge? and it will be released as a book next year on Unbound. So that's it, that's that. And I've just taken, oh, did we go on a bridge there? We clicked it, no, we clicked it. Yeah, I've just taken a picture of a heron. Yeah. See the heron? Yeah, but you don't do it too much, mate, because that's counted as heron abuse.

Starting point is 00:14:00 You don't want any of that, do you? Okay, cool, well there's one little landmark for you Paul. That's it, just one for me. That's what I get that. Gannon gets that one. Gannon wins the Ragged Schools. There's someone who's been tagging around here called Cien Pies. Cream Pies? Is it? No, it's I. Oh no, Cien Pies. No you're right Paul.

Starting point is 00:14:18 Cien Pies and it's in hand joined up which is unusual for a tag. Cursive I believe they call it don't they? Cursive. Butger. Cursive. I wonder if he follows the rules of the tagger? That interested you, that video we saw. It really did actually because you know there's this kind of moral code I guess for one of a better phrase. It's a community isn't it? And it does have a lot of rules. I think I prefer the artist to the tags themselves or when they put a little bit more effort in.

Starting point is 00:14:45 That's just me. The canal and river trust, please blank your neighbors. What does it say? Oh, respect, because obviously on the tow path, lots of people have long boats and stuff, don't they? Yeah. Thank you, Eli. Make sure your stove and your shore

Starting point is 00:14:58 is included to DEFRA standards. Yeah, I mean- Thank you, Eli. Moving on. You love this when you get to hold the mic don't you because it's like the cook report for fucking three hours yeah because if I give you the mic you'd just end up deep-froating the moth thinking you're not close enough and then I have an unmeasurable weight of... you never stop

Starting point is 00:15:18 I don't, I never stop and there's some lovely modernist architecture around here I tell you that Paul yes coming up on the left lovely little low-key modernist block of flats what there's a there's a there's a old god of mischief around there is there you said there was a low-key building and I was like oh mate just you know what just accept this is what I'm doing this week because it's funny isn't it it's not it is funny everyone listening thinks it's funny right let's come on this walk as we barely have started oh yeah all right go to the bin yeah no cuz I'm gonna stop this now okay stop it then bye we've just stopped off at my land park for a quicker break even though we've been

Starting point is 00:16:07 walking 10 minutes and we just passed what they call Globe Theatre Gardens and I remember this it's around the corner from Bethnal Green Tube yeah there are concrete yellow and orange and white frogs over there are they frogs or abstract nubjules? Do you want to have a look at what they are? Let's have a look. Because that man playing music on his speakers out of his bag is pissing me off because no one wants to hear the fucking cause breathless blasting out.

Starting point is 00:16:36 This park is really lovely... Moments of calm. Lovely landscaping here with a pond and... And the bridges and shit. I wonder what that is. Looks like a little waiting area. They're not frogs. They're just weird. Didn't you think they were frogs for a minute? I didn't really see. I thought they might have been like ugly clown statues or something.

Starting point is 00:16:57 Bits of a clown's face. Actually what they look like is someone's taken a fried egg and bunched it up into a ball and effectively made it. Are you taking a picture of them? Yeah. The pictures for this walk will be on our website thecheapshow.co.uk Now I don't know exactly where we are, haven't looked, but this is a sort of... Mile End. It's a Mile End area. Well that was Mile End Bridge we just crossed. Oh I see. Did you click it? Yeah. That was the one we had the contentious point of because I was too busy looking at bins that said out of order and I was trying to figure out what that meant. They said this bin is out of order but out of order had been crossed out. I think it was some kind of postmodern joke. Speaking of postmodernism, we've just passed some postmodern...

Starting point is 00:17:33 they look like council houses don't they or something. Are you losing interest in your own stories? No, I'm just... I just wanted to say Paul, it's important not to confuse postmodern I'm just, I just wanted to say Paul, it's important not to confuse postmodern architecture with the whole idea of postmodern philosophy or postmodernism as a concept. Just got this kind of knee-jerk instinct to run away from you when you talk like that. It's lovely, the waterworks around here are lovely, I'm going to take some shots of that as well. Alright, well he's going to do that. You see, the Tukuneri wall, we haven't gone far at all, we haven't gone anywhere.

Starting point is 00:18:03 No, because we keep looking at you taking pictures of the lovely architecture of post pop pop mid populism, pop noodle, pop biddle, pop biddle, pop biddle, pop biddle, pop biddle, pop buildings. Stop trying to be... Why is he playing so much music so loud and why is it shit? And why does he have no self respect? Shall I go over there and tell him what he's doing is a crime? How dare you play the cause?

Starting point is 00:18:27 Go on, go on, come on, make me breakfast, come on. It does sound incredibly anodyne. Terrible. Yeah. No one wants to hear this, mate. I've had enough. I just think people are just not good. Here we go, we're on our way again.

Starting point is 00:18:50 Now this is a bridge coming up right, would you agree? It's definitely a bridge, that's a road bridge. Is it a road bridge? I think it's a rail bridge. Maybe it's a DLR one. It's not a DLR one. Why don't you think it's a DLR one? Because we're in a different part of town now, it's the underground. Overground. Womble in three.

Starting point is 00:19:08 The Wimbles of Womble in Biddle-a-Bee. Widdly-woo. Right, okay, let's stop talking because we've got a lot of episode ahead if we keep stopping every five minutes. I've got a bit of a sw... Oh God. We need to stop somewhere. We just did. We could have some crisps and that. Well we've got loads, literally we haven't even done a mile yet. We've got what? Seven more to go. Yeah. We just did. You could have some crisps in that. Well we got literally, we haven't even done a mile yet. We got what? Seven more to go. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:29 So how's about that then? Scape, scape. Don't know what that means. They are student accommodation. Oh. It's still quite nice. I think they're quite nice. Mate, my university campus.

Starting point is 00:19:42 Yeah, mine did not have that. That's true. My campus literally... That's not campus, they people pay like, you know, £1,500 a month to live in a box room. When I went to university... It's got a shower, I guess. But when I went to university, I live in a place called the Student Village and the only

Starting point is 00:19:57 way I could describe it is imagine the students moved into Brookside, the soap opera, it was like that exact look. There was one of those in Norwich, you know, that place was called The Village. And they were like little houselets. Yeah, and it was like a sort of a mile outside of the campus. Yeah, similar to mine. But we weren't too far away from the campus, we were on a hill. But anyway, you know, it's quite dated compared to that and what we had was reasonably modern

Starting point is 00:20:17 at the time. That's like the Google, is it the Gugelheim Museum or whatever? It has a certain similarity because of the silver plating. But it's not as... losing the audience mate say wank or bollocks or graffiti boobar or something What's that one called that boats called mrs. Drummond is it? Mrs. Drummond's longboat this is a wise maiden over here wide maiden a wise maiden Mrs. Drummond's Say that they might have inherited them and they mean something to someone else. They're boring mrs. Drummond's don't say that they might have inherited them and they mean something to someone else they're boring Mrs Drummond Kathleen they're all female names as well why is there not a boat here called Daz

Starting point is 00:20:52 I would like a boat called Sky Sparkle and the the num num go-goes something like that a little bit of a mouth play a little bit of music I'll give you a bit of my mouth play if you're lucky right let's crack on with this Well, what makes her wise she's a lot of experience with gentlemen on the towpath is that what you're saying? I wasn't saying that because that'd be weird. I thought that said Arsenal loves Fergal Sharkey, but it doesn't it says Arsenal Fiero Mickey or something yeah Right here's another bridge. We're gonna end this segment by the clack of another click of the button. This is bridge LTN1-39. London Transport Network, LTN stands for, doesn't it? I believe so, which means this one's owned by London Transport. I don't think that's a good graffiti etiquette because he's gone over the emergency number

Starting point is 00:21:38 that you're meant to call if you see something dangerous. So that means whoever did that is a prick. A prick who thinks only about themselves, not the safety of others. Right, here we go. Oh, there's another pedi-bridge here, so click. Wait till we go under that. I am going to wait, we're going to wait. He's going to take another fucking photograph.

Starting point is 00:21:57 Oh, noisy trains! I scared daddy poop out. I shit my pants, man. It It was quite loud isn't it? It jottled my innards as it went over. Right see you in a bit. Guff report, Eli Silverman tell us what you were saying just then. Someone went past us and then like clockwork a few beats later the wave of hot guff hit us both we both and I went oh did someone guff and then you said no it's a pipe but then it completely dissipated quickly as if it was a guff. Adding credence to my argument that it was a hot gust of guffy wind. Wait. There we go bridge number what was that? A 12. This is a really lovely little section we're in now we just crossed over the tributary I don't think you call that if it's

Starting point is 00:23:13 a canal but the start of another canal the Hartford Union canal which comes off this this part of the Regents. I come off in this part of the Regents. That's all I've got to add. An ill-thought-out wank joke. But I think that's what joggers do. I think they wait to go past people, let's squirter out as a kind of fuck you. Yeah. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:23:39 To be honest, I may have said this on the pod before, Paul. Joggers can get fucked. They can get fucked. They're rude cunts who think that they own the fucking, literally own the part of the pavement that you're walking on. Just because they have good cholesterol and blood pressure and a healthy lung capacity and strong muscle and arm legs. Just because you've got all that, does that make you feel like you're above me? Anyway. I mean yeah, but I don't want to hear it from your fucking slack gob Whatever it's good to be in shape, but you know have some decency and respect but oh we're cross. This is Victoria Park. I believe yeah

Starting point is 00:24:12 Yeah, it is Victoria Park arcade gate the entrance of Victoria Park There's a man fishing there. You know, it's that yeah what you what you fish for No, you get little fishes in the canal there. Six foot black rib knobblers. No that's... Reference from Red Dwarf I think I said that. You used to go condom fishing. Oh right actually.

Starting point is 00:24:30 I swear to God one day I caught this six inch or whatever it was, 12 inch black rib knobbler. Anyway. That's kind of fun. It's kind of fun. There goes the dragonfly boat you can hear. Oh I like these ones. Look at this boat here.

Starting point is 00:24:43 Oh that looks like a navy... It looks like a Navy. It looks like a submarine. It does. That's got a really reinforced orange plastic hull. Fitted with sage launch. It looks like it's like maybe it's an escape boat. You know one of those. It looks like one doesn't it? On those boats that you drop off the side of a cruise ship. Yeah that's exactly what it looks like. Again. That's really striking. Warning this boat is alarmed because it saw some shit in NAMM. That's why Yeah, no cuz it's alarmed cuz it saw I reckon that's it is it someone's wank boat just popping out to her

Starting point is 00:25:19 The old you know, it would be a bit claustrophobic wouldn't it? No, it's big enough for a wank there No one can see in it's a little bubble Gary I know what you're doing there. Don't worry about. Why are all your characters from the Liverpool? Because I can't do voices. Why do all your characters just go eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh eeeh That's your character in a nutshell. Barking idiots. Oh misbehaving, it's another boat. Oh as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in

Starting point is 00:25:43 as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as in as Yeah, no, look at that one with a little kind of paddle boat thing. That looks like an old steam paddling Yeah Anyway, we've added nothing in this podcast literally. I don't know how far we've gone but Now we're walking alongside Victoria Park in Hackney. So we've got we've come out of tower of Bethnal Green Marlend area and we're into the Hackney area. Oh man, I'm bored. I look in the East End Oh, yeah, you should go down your cano, cut up a couple of fucking roses, go over to Teeve and Mather.

Starting point is 00:26:11 That's the East End in a nutshell if anyone's interested in learning a bit more about the history of that area. It's effectively that. I'll put as much as I want into a nutshell. No one ever puts anything in a nutshell. Actually that's a good fried idea, where does that come from? I know it's weird. In a nutshell? Does that mean some... It means sort of wrapped up in a bow or presented... No it means to be... In brief. Yeah in brief it's a reduction of the point you want to make. But why? You never make... Well maybe when the term was first coined the smallest thing people could think of was a nutshell. People used to put things in nutshells. Yeah. These days you know you could say oh you know in a bread bin. Say to someone oh look. In a bread bin.

Starting point is 00:26:48 Here's my seepage in a nutshell. Oh god I don't want your seepage in a nutshell. Pop that in your mouth. Go on. I don't want your seepage. I've shat in this nutshell. You've wanked in a nutshell. It's full of it. Full of my spunk and shit. Malagu. Malaguagu yeah Malabu made from gum Malapu no that's made from shit it'll be brown it'll be a giveaway you yeah we're firing all fucking cylinders today what's a nice sort this is a VR look at VR for Victoria Regina no it's a virtual reality bridge I mean just it's compatible with meta all the different types of bridges. They all have very different identities, don't they? This is a Victorian, this one, obviously.

Starting point is 00:27:26 I mean, quite literally. Get a shot of this and get your clicker out. I've got my clicker out. Clicker's on the go. This will be our 13th bridge. The spookiest bridge of all. I'm lucky for some. Right, I'm clicking it.

Starting point is 00:27:39 We are doing a video to go along with this episode, but it will be a short video and not one of our protracted... shut up! click right that's good you live in a house number 13 yeah and there for years wasn't unlucky for me I'm lucky for everyone else who knew you right why because I survived into adulthood yeah that's very nice is it ring your bell your dickhead or say excuse me or summon. They just cyclist as bad as fucking joggers. I know. And they're

Starting point is 00:28:10 more dangerous. Some of them are. They can slow down. It's shared space. Look at the speed. He's not ringing. He's just like presuming you're gonna move. Shall I fucking deck him? No. I'm gonna fucking have him. I'm gonna fucking have him. That got you out of breath. It did actually. There's a flag on this boat. What's it a boat like a pirate flag? There's a lot of boats at this little section Yeah Lovely calm day, but it's you know, it's not cold, you know, you often say this to me, right? And it's true. So what you don't wait for a sunny day for a walk of episode. Embrace the wind, the rain, the snow, the cold, the grey.

Starting point is 00:28:49 And I should. It gives it another flavour. It does. It's quite autumnal. It feels autumnal. Yes, very autumnal. The leaves are starting to turn. Oh look, doll's heads. Mannequin heads on the other side of the... Why would people do that? To freak us out. I don't like it. I'm gonna take a shot of that. Yeah take a shot of that because that's definitely a healthy thing to do. Right see you in a little bit. Right according to this sign the Limehouse Basin where we started is two and three-quarter miles behind us and Kings Cross's two and a half ahead of us. Two and a quarter.

Starting point is 00:29:27 I mean that's what it says. No no no no no no. But that's still a good two miles before the end in Paddington Basin. So it'll be an hour before we get to Kings Cross then. I was just mentioning to Paul that I've seen my first ten foot tag. If you'd like to see another ten foot anytime soon Eli I've got something for you. Okay thanks Paul. A barge pole, it's about ten foot, do you want to see it? He's one of the most prolific and famous London graffiti writers. Bridge. But it was just fascinating to me that

Starting point is 00:29:57 I didn't notice any of his tags further down the region so it's almost like this is where his sort of territory starts Wait, oh And that was bridge number 18 beautiful And you said he was very tall with long arms. I saw a documentary about him It didn't actually picture him, but it's someone who'd met him said yeah He was like had the perfect physique for a graffiti writer Yeah, cuz it makes it sound like you're describing to theender Man, if the Slender Man was a graffiti artist. Honestly it's amazing how many tags and he's international as well he's like gone out and bombed other cities and all over the world as well so it's like crazy. But like this is his

Starting point is 00:30:37 neck of the woods by and large? Well London, he's yeah based in London I guess but he also has got the ten foot which is the numbers 10 in the word foot, but he also does this thing which is like a foot, a little diagoratic foot thing. With the word 10 foot next to it, T, 10 T. Now, my next question Mr. Silverman, is what the fuck is this? This is, I can only describe as a fountain of sharks,

Starting point is 00:31:01 because what we're looking at here are five great white sharks arranged in a kind of pouncing striking out of the water pose. It looks like they're made of fiberglass or something doesn't it? Moulded in fiberglass. Someone with a dog coming by, let's let them pass. But that I have never seen that before. It's just five great white sharks. They're all floating on little rafts there. Yeah, their own little rafts there. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:26 Their own little rafts. He's going to take a picture. Again, as we said, pictures on our website, thecheapshell.co.uk for this episode, episode 406, I think this one is. Very striking piece of public art. Very striking. I want to take a picture because I also would like the memory.

Starting point is 00:31:42 So here's the other thing. We need to find a place to sit down, have a quick break. But also I want to finally a picture because I also would like the memory. So here's the other thing. We need to find a place to sit down, have a quick break, but also I want to finally get that book out, which I was meant to get out at the very beginning and use it as a kind of route and fact thing, but we've forgotten now and we're two miles in. So I'm gonna get it out, we'll go through it very very quickly later because it will give us some background to what we're doing today. Just you know, 40 minutes into the fucking episode. Bridge, next bridge. It's another bridge. I'm gonna get the clicker out.

Starting point is 00:32:09 And this is our? 17th? 19th. 19th bridge. 19th bridge is John Rogers. Did Rogers have a number? It was 42, I believe. He said 42.

Starting point is 00:32:20 Yes, 42, yeah. Maybe the Regents Canal is the meaning of life. To walk it is to see life. Well, we have seen lots of different varied bridges, for sure. For sure. So, yeah, this is the canal of life. As we watch it, we see all shades of life, all colours, creeds, genders, identities,

Starting point is 00:32:42 sizes, shapes, widths, identities, sizes, shapes, widths, lengths, what else have people, religions, nationalities, all represented upon this eight mile walk and your intrepid presenters Paul and Eli are walking it, walking the length of life. That's what we're doing today, we're walking at the length of life. Baby do the length, do the length of life. Uh do the length of life yes. Here come Johnny saying I've got a monkey, he's got a monkey and he likes his nuts. Paul stop talking when you don't got nothing to say, yeah? Baby do the walk of life mate, oh look at that, there's a slide going down, that's for the canoes.

Starting point is 00:33:33 Canoes, it's a canoe slide. Lauchaloe canoe, boat club. There's a little dock coming off the main canal there. There's a part of my brain that is wants to slide off it into the water But I won't do that. I will do anything for the pod, but I won't do that Eat an unslightly unusual. Oh That's what we haven't done. We'll find a place to sit down and then we'll do that then book snacks break Yeah, spoiler warning pickles

Starting point is 00:34:03 Spoiler warning, pickles. Spoiler warning, pickle. When it comes to Cheap Show there's no such thing as spoiler warning pickle, it's taken as red. There's a pickle, no look Desperado cans. Have you been down here Paul? You love Desperado don't you? Yes because my partner's cousin decided to do a nice thing and get me a few Desperados because he heard that I liked them. Only to come home to a fridge of 20 of the bastards. Didn't they admit that they just had them lying around? Yes.

Starting point is 00:34:33 So I got palmed off with desperados. Probably out of date desperados. No, they're all good. You checked them. Yeah, but it's not the first time I've been palmed off by a desperado. Oh. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:34:45 Baby do the walk of life. Baby walk the length of life. Another big bridge. Another new bridge. Another big bridge. Haggiston station. Aye. That's a, is that an overground?

Starting point is 00:34:57 Yeah, so that is the overground, the orange line. Orange. Do you think they're gonna go ahead with renaming all those lines with those silly names? Well, they have done. This is, no one's gonna remember them in a year's time and it'll be for nothing. It'll be for. Do you think they're gonna go ahead with renaming all those lines with those silly names? Well they have done, it's just no one's gonna remember them in a year's time and it'll be for nothing. It'll be for nothing you think? It was all just a campaign for something, I don't know. That's terrible. They should stick. Paul. Again, jogger bike. And hey, that's the other thing I don't like, when joggers running past you and as they do they go

Starting point is 00:35:23 right in your face, right in your breath. I know. Don't do that. Paul, do you see that? What? No, don't say you see that and then point to something I can't see. There's a sign there that says Thrasher Close, you know why? Because that's where the 90s skate mag Thrasher was founded.

Starting point is 00:35:39 Okay, so I didn't even know there was a magazine called Thrasher. It was very famous, like a skate and culture magazine. All right, well to those who got the reference, I hope you laughed. That was not good. No. That wasn't good. Right, shut up though. We're going to cack on because we're in Hackney East and we're carrying on towards Islington.

Starting point is 00:35:56 We're not in Hackney East. God, you know what? I've suddenly developed... That's the footway. That says Headway East. Oh yeah, why do they read that as Hackney? Keep misreading things. Stop it.

Starting point is 00:36:04 Stop misreading things. Think for a second. Do know what? I'm also getting what canal paranoia You keep thinking someone's gonna come back a cyclist. I mean, that's more rational than Every now and then I just get this feeling like this. I'm gonna be And I don't like it What are you forgetting right now? Oh, I haven't done the. We're making good progress. Paul, what are you forgetting right now? Oh, I haven't done the clicker. Thank you Eli. At bridge 20. And there's another one just ahead, so let's crack on with this and we'll see you a little bit later. When we get to the park maybe?

Starting point is 00:36:36 Yes, how about we do that? We need to eat some crisps. Crisps with a pickle connection. Fuck another cyclist, another jogger. I'm getting the, I'm getting... Canal on your arse. Canal. Canal on your arse. Can- anal. Anal. Canoli. Canoli, anal. Bollocks. Right, so Eli and I are in the Angel area right? That's right we're just by the tunnel this is where we're gonna have to get on to street level because this

Starting point is 00:37:13 tunnels only navigable via boat and even when you do it by boat it's very low so you have to push yourself along the top or whatever don't you? Yeah well this wasn't a YouTube video we watched about someone doing this kind of sound test where they were on it like playing a trumpet or a band on it. Yes, I think that was this tunnel wasn't it? At night.

Starting point is 00:37:32 Was that a John Rogers video? Yeah, it could have been, yes. I think Rogers has definitely covered this in more than one video. Before we go any further, and I will forget unless I say it now, does this count as one big tunnel or bridge? Or do we don't count it? Well, we we're not going under it are we? Or through it? So I don't think we count it. It's like when does a bridge become a tunnel? I mean it is a bridge but we're

Starting point is 00:37:53 not being able to go under it. No. So does it count? Or over it when you think about it? We are kind of going over it. I don't think we count it as a bridge because theoretically it's a tunnel. Fine, it's not a bridge. But there's a ghost story about this tunnel as well. Yes. Apparently if you go through it in a certain time of year when the moon is full and whatever and an extra tunnel appears ahead of you lit up by candles along the walls and if you go down it it is the pathway to hell or something shit. That's funny because the short film that I did earlier this year,

Starting point is 00:38:26 the director, writer-director made another short film at the same time which was a horror which was called The Tunnel and it was shot here and it was like a set on a canal boat. I mean out of all the tunnels in London this is your best in many respects. But he had it as a sort of fantasy horror space where you enter the tunnel and then you go into this void like sea You know dark sea sort of like in Willy Wonka where they go and take the riverboat down the candy River or whatever it's called. Yeah, when they take the naughty boat up the chocolate I'm all like sort of house of leaves where you go into a sort of void like

Starting point is 00:38:58 Liminal liminal horror can avoid no I said it. I love liminal horror. I love it There's nothing on this board apart from the misty mist of mist horror can avoid. No I said it I love mention one other little personal can you run it past me first before I put it on record. It's just when me and Ben were here and we were doing a recce for locations for Clankerman and we saw a heron being bullied and harassed by a whole bunch of crows. Yeah I'll let you tell that story, go on, go on, tell us it. No I haven't put it in the podcast yet, it's not there. You and Ben saw a heron being bullied by crows.

Starting point is 00:39:44 These crows were dive bombing it and like waiting for it to try and take off again really really vicious in a similar way I imagine today they say that pods of dolphins are really well killer whales that's why they're called killer whales because they they fuck shit up yeah and they've been attacking humans recently boats yeah I think they've given all their fucks up. And they've been attacking humans recently. Boats, yeah. They're angry. I think they've given all their fucks up and now they're just gonna go all full on orca. Daydream believer that boat's called, Paul.

Starting point is 00:40:13 Do you like that? Maybe they're monkeys fans. Yeah, or Neil Diamond fans. Oh, he wrote that. He did wrote that. Right, so we're gonna pop off the canal now as we head through Angel, but we're gonna stop off in a park and we're gonna try some snacks and we're gonna do a little bit of history based on the book that I found about the walk

Starting point is 00:40:31 we're doing maybe do a quick review over the path we've taken so far and give it smell that autumnal like fire oh it's off that boat you can see it I'm a believer though that was Neil Sadaka. Yeah yeah but we're gonna sign off and we're gonna join you back later as I go posed by the spookiest tunnel of all. I'm gonna do it. Oh I'm standing at the mouth of Islington tunnel Eastern portal this is where we come off the canal path now and head through Angel to join it at the western end of This tunnel which is eight hundred and seventy five meters. We've done a little video

Starting point is 00:41:10 To show you the spooky tunnel, but it's in tunnels fascinating because it's kind of spooky There's a ghost story involved and all these kind of things I'm kind of wondering if I've lost my mind and I'm repeating myself but yeah because I can't remember what we did for the video what we did for the audio but now we're coming out over the top of it Eli has just fucked off because while I was panicking about losing equipment and footage and whatnot he's lost all patience for that just absolutely fucked off you're right nothing I was just I was just catching people up on where we were we've just come to the eastern mouth of the tunnel yeah it was

Starting point is 00:42:00 and you still fucked off so what was the? I lost stuff but I found it again. Alright so we're back on track now. But your impatience is disappointing. Stop. So what do you want to do? Do you want to... Oh this is our neck of the wards. Oh yeah I've made a plan.

Starting point is 00:42:15 This is like cheap show history here almost. Yeah let's go we're going to Duncan Terrace Gardens. And we're going to sit down. And have some crisps. Have some crisps and read a bit of a book and do all that now. Yeah let's find a place to sit down here in Duncan Terrace Gardens. Do you want to just sit here on this bench? Let's do that then. That is the plan. That is the plan.

Starting point is 00:42:50 Bit damp. You don't mind the bit of damp wood do you? It's not too bad. It's a bit damp. Oh, he's got his little charity shop blanket. That's good, innit? Did you get that from a charity shop? You say? I can't have any cake, can I? That's the problem. Oh lovely. It's not... No thank you. Even though I'm not having sugar I still expect presents. Oh look you got a nice... I say nice... it's a plasticated picnic rug I guess. Yeah you're gonna leave it like that? Why not? Fine. Oh and now we won't have to

Starting point is 00:43:26 worry about wet bottoms will we? No we won't will we? Right. Which is good isn't it? Let's... I'm starving. Let's have a little bite to eat and chill and then we'll come back to you so give us a few minutes we'll put you right back. All right what is that? What is that you're eating? It's like lemon cake. Looks like falafel though. Doesn't it? It's like olive oil and lemon. That's healthy isn't it? But it's nice but though doesn't it it's like olive oil and lemon that's healthy in it but it's nice but yeah I mean I can literally see the fat in that it's not it's olive oil I'm not gonna have you fucking stuff your face on this podcast the whole wedge went in there's no sense of enjoying the chew or nibbling it or sours you know enjoying every bite it

Starting point is 00:44:05 was just like straight in your fucking big orca gob you fucking hairy orca you hairy orca I just thought you should appreciate food not just like jam it in your pile and shove it down your gullet. What? Grumpy mouth. No, how about you enjoy food, nibble it. How about you shut up? Savour every bite. You're not just like fucking wallop it down like you're taking a pirate's load.

Starting point is 00:44:35 You make your decisions about the things you do in your life, Paul, and I'll make my decisions. Yeah, all my decisions are shit and don't work and are regretful. Including starting this bit about me stuffing my face which hasn't worked has it? It's not worked for me. It didn't work for me or anyone else listening. No it might have worked for someone.

Starting point is 00:44:51 Are you ready for some unusual crisps? No we are going to take a break and I am going to have a smoke and then I am going to drink some water and then we are going to come back to it. So you didn't need to have a massive go at me about the way I ate that piece of cake. I also didn't have to have a go at you fucking off and leave me at the mouth of the bridge when I was panicking looking for stuff, showing that you don't care. Why are you panicking about? Because...

Starting point is 00:45:09 You've got a stupid coat! And your hat makes you look like a fucking East End shifty... That's the point, mate. ...knobster. Listen, Jackamo Cowboy. Listen, Dell Boy. Fine. Wank Dell Boy.

Starting point is 00:45:23 Fine. Why are you being so grumpy? You've put me off life. The consistency of my existence is wavered because of your very... That doesn't really exist. Not a good sentence Paul. Let me start another one. I'll start another sentence then. Here's a sentence for you. Oh fuck. Josh my kadoddle off. Kadoddle. Josh my kadoddle off. I'm not going to. You don't even know what a cadodel is. I don't even know what to Josh is in any other context apart from wanking the shaft.

Starting point is 00:45:51 Well then that's what Josh my cadodel off is, isn't it? Oh no shit. Josh my cadodel off. I just don't know what you're jumping to. Everyone is not surprised. That's what you meant by canodled. Now, wipe your canodled on the curtains. I fancy a waddle.

Starting point is 00:46:04 Josh my canodled. That sounds like bish bash bosh Kenosh or whatever, doesn't it? Oh, fancy a kenible, Kenosh Kenish. The only bit of David Badeal material I actually remember. Fancy a kenible, Kenosh Kenish. It's in the Mary White's experience, or Newman and Badeal in pieces, it's one or the other. Turn the thing off so we can get on to the next bit. It's going to be dark, we don't want to be walking by the canal in the dark too long.

Starting point is 00:46:28 Babies say that. You always get like that when it gets dark. You become super baby like. And I have to be... I do not. You do. I'm just saying. Every single thing I've said for the last five minutes you've attacked me.

Starting point is 00:46:39 No I haven't. How dare you? How dare you say that? Just shut up. You shut up. For fuck's sake. I'm Just shut up! You shut up. Fuck's sake. I'm a content machine.

Starting point is 00:46:47 You're not. Chonk-a-chonk-a-chonk-a-chonk-a-chonk-a-chonk. Churning it out like a machine. You're not. You're really in a bad mood. You're bringing everyone down. No. Just you. And the people listening. No, the people listening. These are just the character versions of us and really we're good chums. But when we turn the mic on we have to be combative.

Starting point is 00:47:04 No we don't. We do you prick. Fuck off. Right we will stop. We'll see you in a bit where we'll come back with snacks. I'm not happy. I'm not happy with this the way this has gone Paul. Turn that stupid microphone off. I will the minute you stop talking. Did. I did stop talking. Stop talking! Right. Right, so we're still sitting here and I've seen something I've never seen before. A woman went pie and she went, oh I don't like squirrels, she went bye and she went, oh I don't like squirrels and gave this one squirrel the widest birth I've ever seen. She had to come off the path.

Starting point is 00:48:22 Yes, squared of squared of squared of squared of squared of pi. Pi squared. Pi squared. Oh we have reached nonsense point the nonsense amiga. Anyway let's look at this this is a book called the Regions Canal by David Fathers an urban towpath route from Little Vennage to Olympic Park. Now we didn't start at Olympic Park did we? We did not. Now we didn't start at Olympic Park did we? We did not. Weird. Because we started at the basin. That's where it start.

Starting point is 00:48:47 Oh. That's definitely the start where we started. Yeah I mean look there's the basin but like River Lee, Byron's Bow, Bream Street. Can we go past that? Hold on Olympic Park. I don't understand. It starts on the Lee Navigation. But wait, does that mean we've not, how far into the... I don't think... Bow Locks. Sprat Dog Biscuit Factory. You

Starting point is 00:49:16 missed the Sprat Dog Biscuit Factory. I don't think that's the Reedens Canal. Look that's the Limehouse Cut. Limehouse Cut, Bow Creek. This is the whole, okay, Limehouse Cut. Which is, is that part of the, read it there. Wait, hang on. And then the Thames, Narrow Street, Limehouse. That's where we started. That's where we started at the Limehouse Cut. Yeah, see that's the Limehouse Cut there, and we started here, Regent's Canal.

Starting point is 00:49:40 So yeah, that's the start of the Regent's Canal. That's the Limehouse Cut. So we were all right then, this just goes a little bit further. This book just goes further yeah. We wouldn't be here by now if we started the fucking Olympic Park. No. We'd still be fishing around a mile ago. Anyway. Just to be clear we haven't been fishing. No. Fishing around. This was formerly known as the Regents Canal Dock and was built by the Regents Canal Company in 1820 to connect the canal with the River Thames. So that's where we started. Yes, so the Limehouse Cat is what takes it down to the Thames I guess. Yeah and we started just by the rope makers fields apparently. So coal has been

Starting point is 00:50:16 imported from the north east of England to the Limehouse from the 13th century to the 20th. Fascinating isn't it? I'm not going to read every single thing out in this book, but I do want to read the beginning because the book starts at the Paddington end and then ends at the, well, where we started. Oh, there's the whole route. So look, there's the Olympic Park and we started there. There. Yeah. So we haven't missed too much off, really, and it's not really off the canal.

Starting point is 00:50:42 No. Just saying, I don't want people to think we've short changed them no we started at the start I looked up the start and that's the start this book just is playing fast and loose with what is the canal and what isn't yeah a brief history it says but it's four pages now but it goes further and covers the lime house cut down to the Thames from tow path to foot path blah blah blah blah blah. 1801. By the Riverleigh Navigators, 1770 the Limehouse cut was created to reduce the journey time from... Yeah see that's like 50 years before the... And it avoids the Isle of Dogs loop of the River Thames. That's 50 years before the Regents

Starting point is 00:51:24 Canal was even built. Five years earlier in 1765 the Bridgewater Canal was open between the Duke of Bridgewater coal mines in Wosley in Manchester all the way down to London at the Great Grand Junction Canal which reached Paddington in 1601. That's where we're gonna end up. That's where we're ending. Yeah. Large barrages barrages barges large barrages barrages barrages large barrages barrages fucking cock mouth bastard barrages barrages fucking cock mouth wank

Starting point is 00:51:53 should we have some crisps man this is really dry you get it ready while I do this because people should learn out of my bag that's not getting it ready barges carrying raw and finished materials in and out of London had to transfer by horse-drawn wagons to get through to London. Borgias! Shut up! That's really cheered me up. Anyway the final link to Limehouse and the River Thames was completed in 1820. At that time 90% of the route of the Regent Canal and Limehouse was open through open countryside.

Starting point is 00:52:26 See, they're covering that other bit. Yeah. Now, in the Second World War and a decline of canal traffic, the towpath fell into disrepair through lack of use and poor maintenance. Between 68 and 82 the towpaths were incrementally repaired and opened back to the public. Oh, they weren't even open to the public back then? No, apparently not. Imagine it. Because they were too dangerous and shit. Imagine what it was like. It was like you said

Starting point is 00:52:48 earlier you would love to see it in the 60s. Pure wasteland down there. Yeah anyway and then it goes on to how it was regenerated with a long slide. It wasn't reopened until 82 it says there. Between 68 and 82 the towpaths were repaired slowly. Yeah so there would have been chunks of it you couldn't probably reach yeah yeah mad yeah but anyway so and then we haven't got to Kings Cross yet but Islington tunnel nearly 900 meters in length here we've covered a park Duncan Fields is it called Duncan Gardens yeah which is a park just by the entrance by the portal the eastern, not the Camden Passage. It says Benirri, we are aren't we because it's just there.

Starting point is 00:53:27 Yeah that's where we used to, where we met. Brew House, it is, it's where we met, where love began. Joe Orton, playwright, lived around here, 25 Knoll Street, Islington. He wrote, you know, entertaining Mr Sloan, what the butler saw, up against it. Did he do, prick up your ears? He'd been writing, yeah it says here. No wait, it literally doesn't say that saw, up against it. Did he do, Prick Up Your Ears? He'd been right, yeah, it says here. No, wait. Did it say, Prick Up Your Ears?

Starting point is 00:53:47 It literally doesn't say that here, I have to say he did say it. Perhaps it's, I think that's a play about Joe Orton. Oh, maybe. Prick Up Your Ears. Uh, yeah. Oh dear. It was there where he was bludgeoned to death

Starting point is 00:54:00 by Kenneth Halliwell. His lover, apparently, yeah. Yeah, in 67. I think that's what that play was about. Anyway. He was writing a film for the Beatles at the time called Up Against It. It was never filmed. Never filmed. Not heard of that. Anyway, that's where we are. There's facts and shit in the book. It's very good. If you ever want to do the walk we do, take this book with you if you want to get a more historical side of the walk. You got this off your day job? From work, because it got reviewed. So this might not, this is the kind of book you will find in a charity shop at some point though.

Starting point is 00:54:30 Anyway, Eli's chomping at the bits to get his crisps out, so I now hand you over to Mr Eli Silverman for the less interesting, historically and geographically, part of the show. Lays, Paul, they are a crisp manufacturer that span the whole planet and they own the very famous Walkers brand in Britain. This is Spanish tomato tango flavor. Tango drink? Yeah. What really? Okay so what does it say, what does it mean by tango then? Who knows? Because it's not the drink, it's not a dance. So what is it suggesting? Well, there's a picture of a tomato, some chilies and garlic.

Starting point is 00:55:11 So that's what I'm looking for. Flavor wise, these are crinkle cut. Yeah. What, are you up for these? Yeah. Meanwhile, Victoria Park was opened in 1840 for the residents of the East End for a place, a green space for people lived in Hackney for the residents of the East End for a place, a green space for people

Starting point is 00:55:25 who lived in Hackney and the Tower Hamlets. Today it is a much loved and open, much used open space. We've miles past Victoria Park now. I'm just doing a quick catch up of where we've been. Paul, I'm going to get the Niff now from this. Go for the Niff. Oh look at that, perfect corner tear and the Jotolates. It happens.

Starting point is 00:55:42 Oh that's a lovely smell, you know what that smells like? It smells like Heinz tomato ketchup flavour crisps. I'll be the judge of that, give me a snuff. Oh. And then I get a huff. Okay, Jocelate. Jocelate. Oh, fuck, don't squirt it in your eyes.

Starting point is 00:56:00 I'm sorry man, I'm sorry. There's sparkles in my eyes. I didn't do that one, I was a bit vigorous with the Jocel and pump. Anyway, yes, I agree. It smells like tomato crisps, which it's going to taste like, isn't it? Yeah, but it'll be spicier. I'm looking for garlic. Oh actually, there's a spicy, get your nose in there. I don't see the smell of the spice. Haggiston Baths, we passed those. Did you know Alfred Hitchcock was born around here? Try those.

Starting point is 00:56:33 Just have a little one. No, no, I don't like them. I know, I knew you wouldn't. It's fine. It's a sort of deep tomato-iness almost. It's more than it's too sweet, I think, wouldn't. It finds it. It's a sort of deep tomato-iness almost. It's more than it's too sweet I think this one. Yeah that's it. I don't like how sweet it is. They're almost sugary aren't they? Actually do you know what it tastes like more? Not just tomato but like cream of tomato soup. It really does. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:59 Tangy. It's got that tangy sweetness. I'm not into that into them. There's a little bit of heat there actually at the back end. There's some back end heat. Look Paul, after we're here let's just quickly do one more crisps. Alright go for it. Hoxton. So Hoxton, Halford Hitchcock, did you know that? He was born in New North Road in 1920. Wait no, that's not right, he was born before then.

Starting point is 00:57:24 Now look at these Paul. These will interest you. These are gourmet. Oh, Gainsborough Film Studios by the canal at New North Road in 1920. These are lays as well, but these are gourmet lays. Oh, they are posh. But they're lays. That's unusual.

Starting point is 00:57:40 I don't think. Do you know what that reminds me of? What do we have in this country that walkers do? The sensations. That's right. It's like a kind of lays sensation. But have in this country that walkers do? The sensations. It's like a kind of glaze sensation. But again these are Indian because they're a rupee. There's a 20 rupee mark there.

Starting point is 00:57:51 But this is gourmet vintage cheese and paprika. That's interesting. I've never seen that combination before. Spicy cheese. Spicy smoky cheese. Could be good though, right? Could be good. I'm more open to this than to the marteau one.

Starting point is 00:58:03 That's why I thought I'd just cheer you up a bit after the disappointment. Stalin in London. The fifth congress of the Russian Social Democratic Labour Party met at the Brotherhood Church in May 1907 on the corner of Southgate Road and Balms Road. The congress... We've passed that bit already. Yeah. The Beauvoir town.

Starting point is 00:58:21 ...was attended by several members including Lenin, Stalin and Trotsky. The church has since been demolished and is now a residential block. Get this cheesy whiff up your nostril. I'm jostled. It almost smells like blue cheesy. Yeah it's quite a rich yes you're right yeah. This is gourmet. Oh they look they've got cheesy orange color. They are very cheesy. Almost tanned. These are normal looking. Oh, they do look a bit like kettle. Yeah, they do. They get a bit too sweet but that's a deep cheese flavour. You get much paprika though. No, That's nice though. It's kind of

Starting point is 00:59:08 almost there but not quite. It's like the paprika's there again at the back end. I think that's where chili tends to sort of reside doesn't it? Yeah. It says kettle chips. Fair enough. Kettle chips is just a method of making chips. I understand that. Kettle chips the brand obviously don't have a copyright on that. No. Funny. Never knew that. Oh there's some heat. If you have a few it builds up. Yeah no I can sense that. Let me have another one. I like that more than the other. I much like it. Again there's that sweetness but I think that's like a sorry. I think the sweetness is easier to tolerate right when it's a cheesy sweetness. Like the tomato thing seems to

Starting point is 00:59:56 be a bit more I don't know I don't like that creamy texture. No there's something wrong with those tomato ones. Too sweet almost sugary but isn't it weird these are Indian crisps but we've had lays from like the Far East as well haven't we like yeah everything in that part of the world seems to be sweeter when it comes to savory crisps. Heat and sweet seems to be more of a combination. Yeah but all of their crisps whatever the flavor that they're supposed to be seem to have a lot of sugar in don't they? That's true. Compared to what we have here. Maybe one of the reasons why I'm finding these extra sweet is because I've cut a lot of sugar in don't they? That's true. Compared to what we have here. Maybe one of the reasons why I'm finding these extra sweet is because I've cut a lot of sugar out my diet recently so I'm getting a...

Starting point is 01:00:28 You're noticing it. My tongue receptors are more like oh what's this I haven't seen this in a while. No I agree that those tomato ones are too sweet but I think it works like you say with those cheesy ones much better. Anyway we have... I'll give those four. I'll give those 3.8, out of 5 yeah first ones I'll give 2.75 those I'll give 3.75 so that's the Spanish tomato tango both of us didn't like those much I say 2 they weren't good it was sort of it wasn't the amplitude was low

Starting point is 01:00:58 the flavors were sort of fighting each other the sweetness the sort of umami the tomato not really working, all a bit at odds, much more simple the Lay's Gormont Vintage Cheese and Paprika again a little bit too sweet but quite a nice and the heat builds up I've had a few and cheesy a rich deep cheesiness achieved. Right well that's the history lesson. Four out of five for me. That's the history lesson done. 3.7. I put I said 3.7 as well. Well I'm gonna agree with you. I'm said 3.7 as well. Well I'm going to agree with you. I'm going to agree with me as well.

Starting point is 01:01:27 Right, so we have to go Kings Cross, Camden. We should get a shifty on mate. To be honest, once we get to Kings Cross, that's the journey almost done right? We're in very familiar territory. We're in familiar territory but still another mile and a half out from Paddington. Easily. Well then let's stop eating crisps, let's start getting on the walk again. Let's get going.

Starting point is 01:01:44 We'll come back to you when we get back to the canal. Yeah, when we get to the other end of the tunnel and we'll rejoin the canal towpath there. Right, see you then then. It's called Muriel Street. Muriel? See you in a bit boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, ladles and jelly spoons. Oh.

Starting point is 01:02:00 Don't say that, stop saying that. Ah, you dropped your bag. Shut up! Get up, I'll find him. Oh, now I'm getting caught. You're going well, innit, for you. Hi! Why? Well we've made our way through Angel through a lovely little housing estate, Half Moon Crescent I think it was called. Not really nicely laid out. Really nice, all sort of terraced almost because it's on the other side of the hill. The reason they built the Islington Tunnel on the Regent's Canal was because there's an

Starting point is 01:02:51 incline and we've basically got on street level and we've gone over the hill so that estate was built on the other facing the other face of the hill if you see what I mean. Yeah. yeah yeah because they couldn't obviously run the Camden or the canal or divert it because it's just wasn't going to be that way Well the only other way they could do it is locks How about you get off your bike I swear to fuck see there's the other one there's the end there's the western end get a photo of that I will be in it But they don't call it the western portal yes they do yes they do but when I looked on my map

Starting point is 01:03:25 app it wouldn't find it if you typed in Western Portal yeah wouldn't find it weird so there's yeah so this is the slide we're gonna be on now I guess we've swapped banks but like there's the other entrance oh yeah we have swapped banks nicely nicely nice shot I would film it but I can't be fucked I just want to get walking. We still we must be halfway right? More than halfway. We're more than halfway now Paul. At least let's try and convince ourselves of that. I think we are. This is familiar ground for us though. I've got some specialty Oreos and one last snack containing pickle. Well when we get to Regent Zoo, how about we find a bench near

Starting point is 01:04:07 there and do that bit then? That'll be the last of the light because I think by the time we get to that area we've lost a lot of the light. Okay. But while that affects the film to some extent, it doesn't really affect us. There's a good old podcast where you don't need eyes. Get your clicker. Oh shit! I've got ours, yeah I'm glad you brought that up because I would have completely forgotten. Right, so just for all bridge fans out there listening who have joined us specifically for bridge info, we are crossing this bridge and it will be the 28th once we're under it. This looks like quite a recently refurbished bridge. What does it say?

Starting point is 01:04:43 Thrilling Hill? Thrall Hill Bridge? recently refurbished bridge what does it say thrilling hill thrall hill bridge Regents canal Caledonian Road at least this is Caledonian Road yeah so another We're entering King's Cross. Yeah, round the back. Right, clicking it, watch. Plunk click every trip. It even says it, Thornhill Bridge Junkie Community Gardens. It does.

Starting point is 01:05:22 That's Thornhill Bridge, that's the name of that bridge. London Canal Museum. Oh yeah yeah it's very near here we could have gone if we nah that's fine we don't you don't need a museum when you got Paul and Eli taking you on that route for yourself I like that I don't know why they've done that someone's put like some tape on hundred dollars bank of bullshit bills has this count as graffiti do you think yeah it's street art isn't it? Sticker art. Shall I take a photo of that? If you want.

Starting point is 01:05:47 Oh I'll do it then. There we go. So that bridge was obviously rebuilt. Because I took a picture of that sign that says mine the sap which looked like a TFL rondel but I was thinking maybe I should have that sign near the tip of my penis when I'm sexually excited. Excuse me love, mind the sap. Yes, that would really turn everyone on. I think a big sign on the end of my cock that says mind the sap is not only an aphrodisiac for the eager lady,

Starting point is 01:06:18 but also a warning of the joy to come. Squeeze my sap out of my hairy knapsap., nap, rock sap. Dick, rush, dick rash shitty limits. Dick rash shitty limits? Yeah something like that. Oh it's not something like that though is it? It is, it's something like that. Regents Wharf around the back of now. Another fast biker, you don't need to be fasty don't need to be fast don't need to be fast with exactly with their phones on and yeah if I'm being being his bell goes full on I don't agree with us you go pro wearing prick honestly you know what I mean I mean if I chin them and they fall into the canal, I'm the bad guy.

Starting point is 01:07:07 Yeah, you are the bad guy. Say goodnight to the bad guy. Say goodnight to the bad guy. Mind the sap. No, it's not ever going to work. What? Sap doesn't, it's not a zesty word. It doesn't have to be zesty. I want there to be a thick, viscous illusion to the thing I'm suggesting. Oh, nice house. Oh, very nice house. Very, very nice house.

Starting point is 01:07:28 Did you click that bridge? Yes, I did. Look, there's another park here. Why is it every time I say, Eli, look, I'm putting my hand up, I'm going to click, and then I click, do you two minutes later then say, oh, did you click the bridge? I just want to be thorough. Well don't. So we're heading into the back of Kings Cross now you say, yeah?

Starting point is 01:07:47 Yeah. And you've lived in London all your life, is that right? Yep, that's right. Look, it's another one of these basins. Or docks. Oh, do you remember this little garden thing here? Yes, we did a walk and went in it's overgrown now as well I wonder why they've just maybe there's too many fucking dodgies hanging out there but we we came up here for something or other reason because we were in Camden can't remember why but we did come up here were we actually shooting the pod or just hanging out we might be oh this is the thing it all blows into one with us these fucking days, doesn't it? Where does our friendship end and the podcast begin? I don't know anymore

Starting point is 01:08:33 Rotunda because it's in the round building you see because it makes people fat from eating good food I went to do a cheeky fart for laugh and then while the length wasn't there I could feel the girth of it and I thought I better stop that now while I can. Well I'm glad you stopped. Look at this. It's unbelievable the speed they come down here. Unbelievable. Right there's another bridge coming up. See now this is another development in an old gasometer. So this is what we saw back in Hackney, their building, but they've done it here, they've completed it here. There's

Starting point is 01:09:21 all these new buildings inside old gasometers. I mean make use of the space I guess but yeah man music funky music in his little ronbo. Right get me clicker out. Bear with me keep bearing with me. Oh these are two car seats under a bridge. Nice. I don't want to sit in it because it could be covered in all sorts but raising the hand, placing the thumb on the clicking device and there we go. We're now at 29. 29. I hope we're doing this walk justice Mr John Rogers sir. We're counting the bridges as we can. Although they've hardly saved any of that gasometer. It's just like three pillars of it.

Starting point is 01:10:04 It's literally just three pillars and spans between them. It's a bit miserable. The magnificent St Pancras. Yeah. Clock Tower. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful part of town.

Starting point is 01:10:17 Beautiful part of town darling innit? Except these new things don't look very nice at all really do they? No. This is where Google's building its huge... Well I thought Google had a big building already. Yeah they knocked that down, that's where we used to do the Barshans videos. That's not knocked down, it's still there. Yeah but that's not where they're going to be, they're building a whole new massive thing just there.

Starting point is 01:10:35 Because there's been like two Google buildings, YouTube buildings we worked in. The one by... Covent Garden. St Giles, St Giles, yes that was just rented out I think. And then there was the other one which was up here, this area, Kings Cross, remember? Yes. And then now you're saying another one has been built. Which they're building right here, look. It's actually obscured, I think that might be the end of it, it's huge. I think that is the end of it. Bloody Google. It building shit. We don't care. Go away. The canal museum by the way Paul is just over there. We should go there one day. Maybe one

Starting point is 01:11:11 day maybe a patron thing. But who knows. We really want to complete the whole of the Regents Canal today. And it's quite a long walk. It is but I think we can do it. We had some teething problems getting started. Yeah. We were so excited, but now it's like, now it's the grind. Yeah. It's the grind. Yeah, gonna listen to some sweet music. Sweet, in offence of music as a drink, white wine.

Starting point is 01:11:41 Yes, it's been very much redeveloped here behind King's Cross and St. Pancras, which used to be a proper industrial wasteland right up into the 80s. Oh wait bridge we've got two coming up. We're just getting hit by bridge after bridge after bridge here. The bridge density has gone up. Right one here we go right that's 30. Should be according to John Roger, What? Another, There's probably a couple along this way. Another 12.

Starting point is 01:12:10 Well, we'll be the judge of that. I like this little area because sometimes they put a screen up there and you can watch anime or some movies. Well, that's what I was saying. This whole place has been redeveloped. It's cold drop yard now. Yeah, I like it around there.

Starting point is 01:12:21 This is where the every minute's where I go see movies. That's right, at the back, yeah. I wish you'd take me. Please. Well last time I went to see a film you weren't available, you were DJing. I wanted to see The Substance. Yeah and I went to see Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice as well.

Starting point is 01:12:33 You were DJing? It's certainly one of those. I think The Substance was on a whim. The Substance was good though, wasn't it? I liked it. I liked it a lot. Oh, oh, Crick, I didn't click that. 31.

Starting point is 01:12:44 Well done, well remembered. Honestly. Right, quick, I didn't click that. 31. Oh, well done, well remembered. Honestly. Right. We are... We're moving on. Past Cold Drop Yard on our right, I think. And then I need to find a place on my own Cold Drop as well. Really? Well, we should go in Cold Drop Yard.

Starting point is 01:12:58 There's toilets in there. Yeah, there's a Pish and Impossible going on. I need a Pish and... Then it's Pish and Impossible. So let's come back to you. Yeah. Right, we'll see you in. So let's come back to you. That's in Coaldrop yard? Yeah. Right, we'll see you in a bit.

Starting point is 01:13:07 See you in a bit. Right, well we've passed through, was it Stone Cold Yard or something? Stone Cold Austin's Yard? It's called Coaldrop Yard. Which is, was a big coal, whatever they do when they unpack it from the boats and the trains and stuff. Yeah, okay fine. The coal centre where they drop the coal I guess. And you want to drop some coal yourself don't you? I wasn't gonna bring that up Paul. Well mate, to be fair you mentioned it to me and was I not gonna mention it on the thing?

Starting point is 01:13:41 But they've converted into a sort of she- kind of what do you call that shopping center? It's not like a mall is it? No, well, I Guess it is kind of like an outdoor mall in terms of how what it is But it's just a shopping or claimed industrial space that turned into a shopping shopping wharf Shopping wharf? No, it's not a wharf. Fuck off. Oh, dude. We're approaching Canada town now.

Starting point is 01:14:11 It feels like the more central we are, the more there are dickheads. Just calm yourself down. Well, this is why I'm surprised more people just don't end up in the canal. It's just, look. I think it's a speed thing. See, that guy was going at a reasonable speed. I would call that like he was just slowly pedalling along you know, fine. Not like that guy who was churning fucking. I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, I know you listen to Cheap

Starting point is 01:14:38 Show for good times but honestly. You haven't been much of a good time today. I've been fine today. I'm just surrounded by incompetence. Surrounded by it. Almost overwhelmed by it all. But erm... We're here. And this is... I remember this is where we had a cheeky smoke once in the rain under that... Under that overhang.

Starting point is 01:14:58 ...overhang thing, which is someone's garden. No, it's like a little park thing. Is it? Yeah. Because I can't see over the wall, but like, it looks like an extension someone's made to their garden. Yeah but it's like a little park celebrating some kind of um centenary or something I've read about it. Okay I mean we can't see ourselves but oh there's a big poster look at that get Carter poster yeah Michael Cain get Carter I love that. That's a good one inn love that it also looks like the poster

Starting point is 01:15:27 for like Carter beats the devil or whatever it's called in that big book about the poker game and the devil no is it called Carter beats the devil or something it's a very famous book that kid they keep trying to make into a movie like 18 18 no obviously no but it's like an 1800s kind of Victorian supernatural poker book. Something like that. Well, Duel with the Devil. Something like that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:50 So this is... Elm Village, 1983, see? Okay. Nightmare on Elm Village. I'm saying nothing at this point. We're going to come back to you in Camden because I don't know... To be fair, I don't know why I started recording. Yeah but not close enough for this content to be worth it.

Starting point is 01:16:10 Namamba the big white dog, rubbish. Yes, what kind of report? The coal drop has been successfully dampened. Shot back up the tunnel. The horses took it away of the wagon for the time being. For the time being. Definitely just around the corner though. They're waiting around the corner. Delivery is due but you've managed to postpone it half an hour. Well if you feel I need to drop toffee we'll come

Starting point is 01:16:36 right back to you and we'll fill you in with every single bound movement. This is worth mentioning because this was shut for a long time and it's got a great beer garden sort of just above the canal here on our right. Yeah but it also bleeds on to the canal path as well you can tell you can tell people come out here for a cheeky one yes right okay is that anything else you want to add to this before I can stop talking? No, get your clicker ready because it's... Oh shit right we got all end on a click I like this it's a bit late to have a format now, but I'm gonna stop on the click. Here we go.

Starting point is 01:17:13 So yeah, if you're in Camden, full of backed up shit, it's the... Constipation. Oh. Constitution, he's using the C for the Constitution. Yeah, Constitution to say constipation. And look, he doubled down and put constipation there as well. He's done it right down from the big C and across from the big C. Now I'm just going to go ahead and take a photo of that because honestly that might be the best graffiti we've seen.

Starting point is 01:17:31 It's certainly most thought provoking isn't it? I'm going to go through here and click it. Right, okay, this is definitely, I think on average, probably one of our longer walks. Certainly when we know where the destination end is. Right, here we go. Click! 37. There's got to be more than 42. We're at 37. What?

Starting point is 01:17:55 I might have got John's number wrong. I just did that off recollection. It was definitely in the 40s. Okay, well either way. We're going to have to double check. We're going to have to double check. Before. Yeah, we're going to double check. And here we are, the canal taking quite a sharp turn to the left and into Camden Town proper.

Starting point is 01:18:11 And we'll come back to you in Camden Town proper. Will we? Yeah, I'm going to stop it for a bit and then we'll come back to ourselves. What about Regis Park? We're waiting till Regis Park now? No, no, for filming we're going to do that. We've still got to give snapshots of our walk. Otherwise there's not going to be much content is there? There seems to have been a lot of content Yeah, but most of it's not been good. So I'd like I like more shots on it to see what we get out of it You know because we're not drunk. We're not really stoned. We don't really have a daft agenda or game

Starting point is 01:18:41 This is one of our I know but that's we get that's Regent's Park that's Regent's Zoo moment in it we're losing lights oh but I like it you know I like a dark ramble I love a dark ramble right there's another bridge coming on I need to be fucking focused all right so we'll see you in a little bit oh yeah there's the TV AM bill we're not that far away at all. All right see you in a bit. Right, we have just crossed our 40... well not crossed, what do you do under a bridge? Is there a phrase for that? To go under a bridge? Passed under. Alright, we've passed under our 40 second bridge. Now, we did say we need to double

Starting point is 01:19:43 check the number that Mr Rogers says so we don't besmirch him too much. We've crossed what's known as the Rogers estimate, Paul. Provided that is what he said. It's my estimate of what Rogers said. So it's Silverman's Rogers estimate. Yes, it's Silverman's estimate of the Rogers number, which itself I think is an estimate. Anyway, it was our starting point and we've surpassed it. We are now walking through Camden. This is just the top end, close to the market. This is the most Hampstead Road lock it's called in fact but the area is called Camden Lock. This is downstairs at Dingwalls, there by the toilets. Yeah just there. Do you remember? Did you come to the fetish night? I did come to the fetish night which, you know, surprisingly wasn't as sexy as I thought it was going to

Starting point is 01:20:28 be. There were people with bared breasts. True, and there was one woman sat in the corner casually looking at her phone while tied up and bondage-ised. Yes, there was a bit of bondage going on. A little bit of bondage in my life. Yeah, this is a popular place to go at the weekend for tourists to get a whole range of different types of food. All of a sudden. All of a sudden we just pop right in. Cheesy nan you can get there, that's quite nice isn't it. My nan was cheesy, she had a problem though. Oh yeast, a yeast infection. We used to call it Nana Yeast. Did you used to call her Doritos Nan? Yeah, you know what I can't

Starting point is 01:21:07 follow this up with anything funny so I'm going to apologize to everyone and just move on. Oh Turkish coffee. Oh can't have that, it's got too much sugar in it. That's the problem isn't it? The Mac factory, that mac and cheese. Mate I am not, I'm sorry. As much as I fucking love mac and cheese, I am not paying nine quid for what looked like a McFlurry sized pot of it. And like, if anyone in America or whatever, around the world is thinking about the size of McFlurry, which is quite tall, the UK's is a stunt cup of ice cream.

Starting point is 01:21:42 God, look at that fucking shitty mess. So yeah, I am, as much as my heart goes out to mac and cheese, I can't justify nine quid for a pot. I mean, if you're hungry enough, at a festival. But that's how they get you, isn't it? That must be one of the most filthy spots in all of London. There's a man kicking chips at a duck. Great.

Starting point is 01:22:05 At least the duck gets to it. That's the thing. Oh, is it a goose? Yes. Yes, it is. It's quite a big... Have you got a problem with the toilet problem? Have you got a problem?

Starting point is 01:22:13 Have you got a yearning immediacy? Is this something you should do here before we go any further deeper into... No. It's gone back up. Have you poked it up the pipe? Yeah. Look, look, solidarity mate if it helps. I am also holding tight. Really? Well let's get find somewhere we can go. On a splash mountain log. I'm just off the game today when it comes to being fun. I think it's just because I'm tired.

Starting point is 01:22:41 I think I'm tired. Your mouth isn't working. It's not. Oh god, you look it's just because I'm tired. I think I'm tired. Oh god you look in pain. See I'm alright. I'm chewing on this quite nicely. You know what I mean? But you seem to like get into the point where it's affecting your walking stride. Mate we are in a perfect place for you to find. Because they have toilets in here don't they? Are you sure? Are you sure mate? Because they have toilets here where you can drop your guts and we can move on. We're crossing over now what's known as the Camden Catacombs because it goes right and these are old mills here in Camden Town. Look down there it goes right in. But I always see barges coming in like either dropping off trash or whatever. Yeah we use it for trash. But what do they collect

Starting point is 01:23:22 or drop off there? Yeah they collect it there. Because it's all dumped into something. Well, from the market and so forth, yeah, but look, it goes way back. I can't even, shall I get the 360 camera and have a look? Don't risk it. Yeah, you know what, if I drop it because I was desperate to see where they drop the shit in Camden,

Starting point is 01:23:38 it would be a waste of a good piece of tech, that. But we are coming up to the Pirate Castle, which is always interesting to me, that. Like, people talk about the pirate castle But I don't understand how it got its name or how it became an icon It was built to look like a castle. Oh god. I have to go to the loo Mate now is the time if you want to go back where they have public toilets in the market I'm giving you a chance right now to make a decision that will benefit you and the podcast going forward.

Starting point is 01:24:06 Now do you want to go and drop your guts in the market or do you want to walk like a gunslinger for the next couple of hours? I don't want to go in the market it's really bad the toilet's in there. Well where else can we go ahead of us because ahead of us is just Regent Zoo and then a long walk above ground until we get to Paddington. What you gonna do? I'm gonna go in there. Where? In the market. I think you should because ladies and gentlemen,

Starting point is 01:24:34 if I could describe his face, it looks like he's having like contractions. He looks like a pregnant woman about to give birth. And in many respects he is It's not a child long for this world You have to go upward basically, you know when you go in and then the stairs go by that record shop Even be open man. Well mate, I'd roll the dice here then like biting down Because what you haven't bought a drink you have to go in before you buy a drink there True, he't let me in. Because what? You haven't bought a drink? Yeah. Well you have to go in before you buy a drink, don't you?

Starting point is 01:25:06 True. So he probably would let me in. But then he stopped me on the way out and said, did you buy a drink? Look, how about this? We stop off here, you see the toilets. If you don't like them, we'll go into the Ice Wharf. Alright? Or we'll do another pod. Alright? Why, you gonna shit in that?

Starting point is 01:25:22 No. Alright, I'll do that. Let's crack on. Well, he can crack one out. Here we are, back in the market. Right, it's been two hours since our last recording because Eli had to go to the bathroom. Now, I've promised I wouldn't go in. It's not been two hours.

Starting point is 01:25:43 It's been two hours. It's all dark, it's midnight in. It's been two hours It's all dark. It's midnight now We're just but we're back where Pirate Castle is give us the very brief version Pirate Castle bridge there I think the 60s. I believe so I could I could read it from the book. I'd like I'd like you to check it But it is when we sit down a bit will do that. It's crenellated I think that's what they call those bits of it a crenellation It's crenellated and also the bridge itself has a bit of crenellated

Starting point is 01:26:06 wall on it. Yeah. Like a pirate. You know what? What? I've kind of lost enthusiasm. Because of your horrendous toilet incident. I have one of the most horrendous toilet incidents of my whole life. Now I promised I wouldn't say anything about it. It's up to you if you want to just touch on the brief notes. There was no on the toilet the toilets are horrendous up there they wanted to charge me a quid to get in for what privilege you know what I mean they had one of those card readers for a quick can you give me a quiz you got the worst 15 minutes of your life I didn't pay a quid I just pay with your dignity no I push past the it's been mashed. What's that pain for then? Because obviously... Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Cold water. So water on the floor, door lock not working.

Starting point is 01:26:49 And then I had these pulses of severe diarrhea. Painful, catastrophic, squirty diarrhea. Chocolate rain. It was chocolate shotgun. I know I shouldn't laugh. More like a banana sundae. I mean you were there for 15 minutes and I was beginning to worry after a while thinking are you alright? You know having these pulses. When you came out when I saw you cross that bridge. It's close, you know like diarrhea you get cramped. When you think it's over then you get a spasm and then it releases. I don't know what's happened to me today. Anyway, I'm better now. We're going to complete this walk pool. That really was the wrong toilet on the wrong day

Starting point is 01:27:29 with the wrong bum conditions. It was all wrong. It was a three prong wrong. And we're going through a bridge now by the way, which I like because there's black light graffiti. I'm just going to film this on, not the 360, because I can't be arsed right now, I'm just going to record on this as we go by now. So I love this, they've put black lights up, I mean I presume someone did it.

Starting point is 01:27:52 I think they haven't done the graffiti black light on purpose, it's just that some paints respond. I mean why else would they put these little blue black lights up then? You know? Now how many bridges is this is this one two yeah so I need to click it three times once we get out the back so I'm just filming with this right now let me just get that in again I don't know I really like that Jesus that's a train bridge then this is is a road. Are they all train bridges, these ones?

Starting point is 01:28:29 Anyway. Anyway. This is Grimroves Hill. At London, Little Venice is two miles. I think we've got two miles to go basically. Wait, wait, wait. One, two. That's those two bridges. Then this one. Which is another narrow one, but not the narrowest or lowest. See, this is where they lock...

Starting point is 01:28:46 Closter. What? What? See, this is where they can lock... Look, there's a fence, a gate here. That is where they close it. Yeah. At night.

Starting point is 01:28:55 So, oh, I see. So they partition it off. Yeah. So from this point on, it would locked off. Yeah. But you could go back to Camden and get in and off that way. Hang on. There's... yeah, they lock certain bits, think where are we now we're at I think

Starting point is 01:29:10 that's 46 either 46 or 48 there's another at least another five or so there's loads more there's loads more don't ever gonna make it man we're gonna make it we're literally we can almost see the endpoint kinda two miles yeah Venice yeah but we know what's two miles. Yeah. From Little Venice. Yeah, but we know what those two miles are. We know what's ahead of us. And think about it, it was just from limelight to that first signpost we saw.

Starting point is 01:29:31 And that wasn't too bad. That was an hour. Do you know what? I'm glad I went to the toilet, even though it was... Wasn't Daddy Gan in right? It was horrifying. The whole experience was horrifying. Otherwise...

Starting point is 01:29:41 And I had my bag in there. I should have left the bag with you. With me, yeah. But the floor was dirty. I couldn't put the bag down. No down. No trying to wrangle the toilet paper out of one of those toilet paper dispensers If you've been affected by anything you've heard in the last five minutes of this story, please do get in touch There's a helpline and a pamphlet we can give out to those painful unpleasantness but again again

Starting point is 01:30:02 I'm glad you did that as opposed to suddenly letting us what you would have thought a fart out only to be inundated with arse gush. It's gone past that. I would have known I was shitting my poop kegs. We all would have known if you fucking did that, frankly. Anyway we're heading now towards the back of Regent's Zoo, where we will have another quick sit down, another quick snack. It's not Regent's Zoo, it's London's Zoo.

Starting point is 01:30:29 Oh God, yeah, sorry, yeah, London's Zoo, around the back of Regent's Park. But this is the park where it's named after the Regent's Park. I don't know if that's true, but it's the Prince Regent, isn't it? Yeah. It's all named after it but yeah. I like this time of night though. It's lovely. This is... Autumn dusk is great. Yes I came down here I told you and we actually climbed around it was locked me and Ben climbed around the fence. At night we were pissed up really badly pissed and the autumn leaf fall had happened and it was like snow it was all covered it was covering the the surface of the canal happened and it was like snow, it was all covered, it was covering the surface of the canal as well, it was like this dreamscape.

Starting point is 01:31:09 You see my story around here was I once took a girl down here who I liked and she gave me a handjob by the bridge, in fact this bridge here! Are you joking? No! How do you know it's this bridge? Because it just suddenly dawned on me now that I've all the bridges it must be this one It's time to rain. Only a little bit spitty spitty. But anyway, we were kissing and cuddling This is like mid-20s when I you know, whatever would you let someone give you a hand job? Well, it wasn't it didn't start like that. We were kissing kissing. It was lovely It's about this time of night maybe a bit earlier It was quiet and we just started kissing against this wall because she had to go well a and I had to go beam

Starting point is 01:31:43 We had to go in separate ways and then I was obviously very Aroused That bridge And she noticed because you know, I was very pronounced with the obvious She didn't even offer all I I felt was zip, Russell Russell, shuffle shuffle. Now ladies and gentlemen, I'm not a beast, I did not ejaculate. I couldn't. I couldn't because the back of my brain was like I don't want to go home. She didn't think I was going to blow it. She was trying to make me come in public, but I was like, excuse me darling,

Starting point is 01:32:22 I have to get a train home and I will not go home smelling of spunk Because that's what you know you will now. We're gonna take a turn. No. I haven't finished my story I'm sorry. Did I click that bridge? I did you didn't get wanked off. You just got wanked What's the difference is it off be wanked off is to come off is to go off So I'm only wanked but to be wanked off is to come Wank is the action yes I don't know mate. I just think wanked off means to be masturbated I don't think it involves ejaculation at all No it doesn't

Starting point is 01:32:52 Wanked off! So this bit is the bit they close, you're right Yeah Hang on, wait there Fucking joggers, fucking joggers It's like there's been a you, mate I'm walking here there's that famous floating restaurant, 48 we're at 48, floating Chinese restaurant is that open? it's always closed when I see it, it probably just does dinner doesn't it? oh well yeah I've mostly seen it during the day

Starting point is 01:33:23 anyway another bridge. Listen, I can't keep counting out bridges. There's loads up there. It's crazy times. This is a lovely, majestic part of the canal now. Going through Regent's Park, through the zoo. We've got the very famous Avery coming up on our left. We're going to pass the Avery, the famous London Zoo Avery on our right.

Starting point is 01:33:44 But they've converted it for monkeys monkeys so hopefully we'll see a monkey Hey bridge fans I want to keep them involved people are listening to this just for bridges they don't care about being wanked off or haunted schools that's a nice little barge area isn't it? Very high doesn't it yeah that's called deco as in art deco and the boat's code what what's the boat called deco deco yeah that's what i'm saying oh i just said i noticed that i thought you were calling it deco because of the design it has art deco style doesn't it anyway i like that that might be my favorite deco as in in D-E-C-K-O as in boat deco. Yeah right is he allowed to do that? Yes because he's cycling you see that's eight obviously an electric but he's cycling and it's

Starting point is 01:34:33 helping him so it's probably fine. Listen where do we do this next or last bit of food nibbling and stuff? I don't know there's nothing up here. I thought there were benches. They just keep going. Have I imagined benches along this route then? Yes you have. At no point were there ever benches. There was no point were there ever benches. God I hate reality. It's such a fucking let down. You're really riding it today.

Starting point is 01:34:54 Right. That's all you need to know. Right, okay, let's crack on and find a place where we can do something. It's only dark now. It's getting very dark now. Well, we're on the last major stretch now of the canal because after this it all kind of goes above ground again until you get to Paddington. Well, street level you mean, yeah. Yeah. We have to leave. Yeah, there's another tunnel I think isn't there? Well, it's very dark now, very calm. We're seeing really by the light of the London's famous light pollution, aren't we?

Starting point is 01:35:21 The sky is glowing down and allowing us to see but they're very grand. John Nash I believe who designed Regents Park and all of those buildings surrounding it. These are his stuff as well these old grand white buildings. And some of these are like buildings for Ministry of Defense or something or wasn't it like this government? We walked road level didn't we? Yeah yeah about a year ago and we were speculating because slow horses oh yeah talks about regents park being the headquarters of mi6 right and they're saying this like it goes down and so there's i think and that time i saw biden fucking driving along he was heading up this way on went for the queen's funeral yeah you remember so i think there's a lot of Secret Service Embassy stuff full stop right now. Here's what I was gonna say and I keep forgetting to say this

Starting point is 01:36:10 I just want to say it now But one of the things I think was cool if anyone ever wants to do this walk Which I know is a ridiculous thing to say Well, let's just say you are in London and you do want to walk the canal What I love about it though is it kind of shows you the best of London as you go through it east to west right you get to see all the different landscapes and cultures and communities you see the change and the people who live in those areas. It gets wealthier essentially, more rarefied but it's quite industrial when it starts out east doesn't it? I like that bit personally,

Starting point is 01:36:46 because I'm much more familiar with this end of the canal. And it's also like a history lesson. If you want to do a bit of research, you can see the lifeblood of why the canal was built and why it goes this route and why it affected London so much for its original purpose. These were the freight trains or the motorways of their era, weren't they?

Starting point is 01:37:06 Rather than dropping off out of town and then dealing with wagons and horses to get it into the shops and things, it was like come straight through the middle. So I think, you know, if you ever want to do this walk, age start earlier. Oh look, I think is it Baker Street Mosque? That massive mosque, you can see the tower, the minuet. Yeah. Is it called a minuet? Yeah. I think so. That's where they do the call to prayer from

Starting point is 01:37:26 But like it's right next to these almost American style houses. I'm really grand. Yeah, but yeah Houses were kind of mimicking this this is the original The colonial yeah, the kind of New England kind of style Boston stuff But look, yeah, this is a great walk because you get to see all shades of London, its quirks, its industry, its culture, its communities, everything. I recommend it if you ever fancy it and the weather's in your favour. We have avoided too much actual downpour, it was threatening just back there but it seems to have stopped again. The only downpour

Starting point is 01:38:02 was your brown downpour in the D in the Camden market toilets. Oh that was horrible the pulses. Yeah the pulses. Just because I didn't eat enough pulses not enough roughage. I'm just trying to think what I had. I had an egg sandwich last night quite late. Was it the bacon? No because I'd say the bacon sandwich you had before would have been all right. It was too early. Exactly. Don't they say it's like 24 hours later? Unless it's actually poison and toxic it goes through your system quicker. It was quite a bad case of diarrhoea. Yeah. Anyway. I've got a bad case of blobby poo. Another blue light has been used up here. Right here's a little. Get your clicker out. I'm getting my clicker out because we've got another bridge to come. This is where I shot

Starting point is 01:38:42 the precursor to Clankerman. Oh like the kind of test of concept. Well it was a whole separate thing but it didn't wasn't very successful and was quite difficult to make and it was called Mr. Lothian's Uptown Research and we shot most of it just down here. Clankerman is catchier. It was like a Clankerman character I played who believed there was an upside-down city underneath. That's right. That was the concept. Similar sort of concept that Clankerman realises is much better with the Ministry of Ambience or whatever. Right, here we go. This is where we shot it. And

Starting point is 01:39:16 that's the other thing, we've both got stories along this route, weirdly. I went to a haunted house and got a hand job and you made a couple of dodgy films and shat your guts out That's good, innit? And we were down here and you know who walked past? Who? I think they were walking their dog Harry Enfield It sticks in your mind something like that, you know It does

Starting point is 01:39:36 We were shooting just here And before you look down there's mosaic you're going what are these? I'm going to take a shot of this Paul, could you just stand back for a second? Yeah, no, I was going to take a picture of myself, but I'll let you do it Pictures on our website thecheapshow.co.uk. Why do you always talk over me when I'm giving sailing information out? You think you want to go oh Paul's saying the website address maybe I'll just hush my mouth for a moment and then I'll chip in. Alright? Anyway go on what are you going to say? I'm just going to say I'm going to send a photo to Ben. Oh, well, thank you for that. Hurry up then.

Starting point is 01:40:05 Here's a chuff chuff. Chuffity chuff goes the train in and out of London again, across the brackets, through the woods, out of town, delivering goods. What's that one? That's a Met? Is that Met line? Yeah, I was going to say. Oh I go on that. That is the Met. I go on that. And that's the line to Tring as well. Because the barrel of bone is right in this area isn't it, if you think about it. We're right down there now. Yeah it is. But I'm trying to think of where this stretch is. This is the bit

Starting point is 01:40:39 where it briefly comes out after Finchley Road and then goes back under again. Yeah. Finchley Road's up that way a bit. Yeah. Through another tunnel. Because it goes on the ground basically from Finchley Road on apart from this little bit where it pops out again. Do you know what? They have used special paint, haven't they?

Starting point is 01:40:56 To react to the blue light there. Yeah, nice. So, this is one bridge, right? Click it. Is this a second bridge? It certainly is. Right. This is where we shot it. You can see what we chose this Really

Starting point is 01:41:23 I'm gonna get a few guys to do a big bridge if you know a big shot. Boothful mate, I'll come back and see that. You have two free weeks. Two free weeks, wicked, wicked. Cheers man. Here we go, one big bridge. This is a big thick wide bridge. Yeah, it's got like several lines on it. That seemed to have been... Are you gonna click that?

Starting point is 01:41:43 I clicked it, or I've already clicked it. That man who was talking to us then was a man living under the bridge in a tent. Huge fucking tent actually. Although, obviously I thought we were going to get attacked. It turned out he was just into his art. That was fine, I think this is where we have to leave the canal, mate. But what about bridges? How are we going to count bridges from this point on?

Starting point is 01:42:02 Does this count as a bridge? This petty bridge? And are there any bridges ahead of us that we're going to count bridges from this point on? Does this count as a bridge? This pedi bridge? And are there any bridges ahead of us that we're going to miss? My logic is, and you're going to hate this, go to the very end of the line when we can't go any further, see if there are any bridges, then come back to our next exit. Well, I think this is it. I'm counting this one.

Starting point is 01:42:20 Right, let's see where we go. Oh, aye. Alright, let's see if this is gated off. And then we're going to have to guesstimate the rest, maybe. Yeah, this is gated off. Yeah, this is the end for us anyway. So I know, I know. I'm just saying for us on this path, I'm saying it's the end.

Starting point is 01:42:40 And it's what? Let's see what it's called. It's called something mooring. Lysen Grove moorings. Lysen Grove moorings. Which is round here. All right, so we're going to pop mooring Lysen Grove moorings Lysen Grove moorings all right so we're gonna pop off right we're gonna pop off and we're gonna join it at a later date all right cool where are we standing can you see that can you shine that light on it or something I can't there we go 58 not 42 John not 42 right we'll see you in a little bit when we get our bearings. See you in a bit! Right, well we've come off the canal now, now, come off the canal now and we're going

Starting point is 01:43:39 to take a quick break for Eli's last two snacks. I just want to do something because you know we were walking back there a little bit and you said oh I don't know about the Pirate Castle. It does have it written down here somewhere. Camden Lock. We've done that. Again it's a great book if you want to read it and go along this walk. The Castle. The banks of this short stretch of the canal were once home to the producers of Gibley's gin, sorry Gilby's gin, from the 1870s until the 1960s. The whole area west of Camden Lock was associated with the wine importing family Walter and Alfred Gilby.

Starting point is 01:44:18 The distilleries and work houses occupied over 8 hectares of land. But what's the castle? Pirate Castle, here we go. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I can't read this. I need to get me in glass out. Me magnifying glass from last episode. Fucking great this. Right, this castanelated building on the south bank of the canal is home to a water-based club for disadvantaged youth people. young people. It was founded in 1966 by Lord St David, designed by Richard Seifert and partners and was opened in 77. Which makes sense because there's always a load of canoe boats and stuff around there

Starting point is 01:45:00 and lessons going on. So maybe that's it. That's what it's called. Yeah, well anyway there you go. I did a theatre production there once. Yeah we rented it out. Yeah we did it we've mentioned that. Right Eli now has two more snacks to end this journey with so let's see what Eli's got. Eli it's over to you. Well Paul thank you. You know I like pickle but often we, the kind of pickle we cover very much the Western kind. The gherkin, the pickled cucumber, but there's a whole world.

Starting point is 01:45:29 What's the small one that they have? What's the small one? The Cornishon. Cornishon. Cornishon. Brim full of Asher on a Gordie 5, that was by a band called Cornishon. Shut up, you're losing it. You're losing it.

Starting point is 01:45:44 Some would argue I never had it. Now there is a whole other world of pickles and chutneys indeed from the Indian subcontinent. This is one of those Paul and are you ready for it? Yes. Regents canal by David Fathers. I'm going to hand you this packet and see what you make of it. Oh dear. Can you take pictures of your crisps before by the way? No but I've still got them. Take your pictures. I'll take pictures. Math 3.

Starting point is 01:46:13 What's this? Pickle inside? Math 3. Vellish the goodness of delightful savoury treats. It's just a packet of sliced pickles. No. What am I missing? Yes, pickle stuffed savoury cookies. Hang on. Oh that's better and now I've got my magnifying glass out. Yeah they look like puffed pickle cookies. These look

Starting point is 01:46:34 horrible. They've got Indian pickle in and you're gonna eat one now. Am I? Alright, Ganon will do anything for the lols. I'm gonna jostulate and nuff-nuff-olate. Jostulate, you'll possulate. I need scissors or something, Paul. Have you got scissors? No, why would I think to bring scissors on a walk? Did you think to bring any? I'm just saying you might have scissors on you.

Starting point is 01:46:57 I don't. Oh. Teeth are coming out. You have to use your teeth, which is not a recommended practice kids, if you're listening. Only use your teeth for chewing. Food, meats, crisps, that kind of thing. Not packets of crisps. That's usually a bad idea. Now, have you got him? Are you in yet? He's made a tiny little hole.

Starting point is 01:47:24 Oh he's put his fingers in his dig. Oh, actually that's quite nice. It really smells like... It's almost Bombay Mixie. It smells like an Indian grocer's. Doesn't it? Really badly. Alright, these are little rough little cookie shapes and I think they must have pickle inside the

Starting point is 01:47:45 actual dough. They must have, let's find out. They're alright but weirdly plain. Quite floury. Yeah very crunchy and firm. Dense almost but there's a very there's a pickle flavour rather than any sort of yeah bits of it. They're all right maybe they'd go nice with like a nice kind of dip a cheer what's the like a saucy what's the chutney yeah yeah yeah yeah it's the word I was fishing for chutney all right they're fine I go fishing for chutney on Saturdays. And her name is? Tallulah. Tallulah Chutney is her name. Tallulah Chutney. Those

Starting point is 01:48:27 are actually alright. Yeah, no I'm not. And actually, put a sparkly heat in the back. There's some heat, there's a nice flavour. I hate to say the back end too often here, but it's true. That's a nice flavour. Up front a bit bland and floury and crunchy, but the back end makes you go, oh maybe I'll have another one. I think they use graham or lentil flour. Yeah. It's a mix of different flours, it's not just wheat flour. To be honest it felt like a big solid piece of Bombay mix. It did, it's like an oversized bit of Bombay mix. However I like Bombay mix so I ain't complaining. I mean it is a type of Bombay mix style snack isn't it, but I just saw that in there and I saw that the pickle inside and I immediately got very excited.

Starting point is 01:49:07 saw that the pickle inside and I immediately got very excited but less disgusting than I was hoping but still quite nice so I mean now what were you were hoping for it to be an assault on my senses turns out it's one of my favorite things we've eaten today yeah and me I like that better than both those crisps actually yeah first bike was was like, oh I'm not bothered. Now I'm like, maybe I'll have another one. They're quite nice aren't they. Now, seasonal Oreos. Is this Halloween? Yeah. So let me guess, is it pumpkin spice? No. Oh. It's the other thing that is loosely associated. With Halloween? Yeah. Very loosely. Errrr. Maybe it's not. It's flavour for Halloween. I'll just reveal it to you, okay? Give me a little clue, I like the game.

Starting point is 01:49:48 I can't think of a clue. Great, well then just tell me. Gingerbread. That is slightly Halloween adjacent, isn't it? I would say more Christmas. You get Christmas power, gingerbread houses at Christmas, don't you? Don't you? You do, yes, you're right. Maybe it's more of a Christmas thing.

Starting point is 01:50:04 But, I like the design that you can see on the cover of the packet. It's got a little gingerbread man printed on the cookie. I actually like that considerably. And I saw today as well that they are trying to... They're relaunching Oreos, they've redone the recipe with more cocoa, it says now. I think there's been people complaining that they're not chocolatey enough or something. Because they aren't very chocolatey, are they?? No, you barely noticed the biscuit flavour in it. What are you getting? These are totally different colour. Oh it's much lighter. So the biscuit is

Starting point is 01:50:36 more well gingerbread coloured and what's the inside you think? That's got a nice smell. Is it just a normal Oreo? I think it's Oreo inner but the gingerbread is the cookie bit. Right I'm gonna go in. It's got a little gingerbread man on it. I love it. I like the smell. It's got a real cinnamon. It smells of cinnamon. It's made it all autumny again. It smells like that big red cinnamon chewing gum doesn't it? Well to me this is just like a churros almost kind of sugary sweet ginger thing. Anyway, that is good. It's a cinnamon though, not ginger. I'm getting a lot of cinnamon rather than actual ginger. Mmm.

Starting point is 01:51:12 You know what I mean? I do. But I don't mind that. No. But sitting here by the canal on a nice autumn eve. This is a very autumnly moment for us. Yes. Don't you think so? It's quite autumnal. Autumnal moment on Cheap Show. Those are all right. I like those. With a cup of tea. This was much better than the first snack break

Starting point is 01:51:38 wasn't it? Yeah. With a cup of tea or coffee. Oh madam. I actually prefer that to a normal Oreo, I just thought. No, I'd have to preserve this for this time of year to enjoy them. It kind of feels like a tradition to have this kind of Oreo on an eve like this. Do you like to match up the seasons with the snacks?

Starting point is 01:51:58 It's an association game, innit? You do like to do that, don't you? You do like to wait for certain times of year to eat certain types of things. I just fancy certain things when I fancy them. That's because you know you're more er... Less cultured than you, are you telling me that? No, I would just say I am a bit more kind of like obsessive, detail orientated kind of thing.

Starting point is 01:52:16 I'm not the big, I'm not a huge details guy. No. I'm more lateral. Yeah, whereas I'm more horizontal. None of this makes sense. Right. Well, at least you've started to make a bit more sense with your word choice there, Paul. Keflingle bop tolle puddley hey ho.

Starting point is 01:52:31 Right. Wow, we've still got miles to walk. We don't have miles. Maybe a mile and a bit. I would say a mile and a bit at this point. Okay. Well, are you ready to get going then? It's time to do the final push on this epic walk for Cheap Show.

Starting point is 01:52:45 Down Regent's Canal in London. All the way along its big fucking shaft. Right, we'll see you in a bit. Don't drop those Oreos. Oh, don't drop the Oreos. That's the king of the castle, that one. It's all going in the bag. It's all going in the bag.

Starting point is 01:52:56 Do I have to take photos and send them to you? You will. You will, please do. Right, let's keep... I just want to take the bag with you. No, it's probably... I do not want to carry your trash around just for photographs. Right, see you in a bit.

Starting point is 01:53:06 Well, I've got trash as well. See you in a bit. I don't want to talk about the bus advert for Transformers 1 on a bus. Transformers 1 though. I don't care. I didn't care about... I don't like Transformers. No, but that's meant to be good.

Starting point is 01:53:17 I don't care. I don't like Transformers. We've already wasted more time on this, not talking about it, than if we talked about it. I don't like Transformers either. I don't like him either Sorry say again this boat is permanently more yeah one little Venice we're in little Venice everyone right near the end everybody it's been epic epic epic yeah it has we're both feeling the burn. I'm feeling the burn, it's a good burn though

Starting point is 01:53:45 and I've been joyed up, if that's a word, I've been lifted up by the, got a third wind, the pickle based snack and the lovely gingerbread Oreo which more than, no it is a bridge, this is a bridge and he used to say to me this is a bridge. I mean, it's clearly a bridge. Yeah. We can both see that. Got some hair on there. Look, two wolves. 61. Two wolves. Wonder what that is.

Starting point is 01:54:11 Wolves. I'm gonna do a Google. You could do a Google search or something with that. I'm gonna do that. You know, the old AI or whatever it fucking is. I don't know. So, we're at Little Venice. It's very posh round here.

Starting point is 01:54:23 The Canal Cafe, that's nearby isn't it? Oh he's off Maiden Avenue which is near Maiden Vale I suppose. Paddington Canal. Paddington Canal? It's a Venice thing. It's a Venice thing? Hey everyone. It's the borough of Paddington. So it's the coat of arms for that. That's what he was doing, he was taking a picture of the coat of arms and to find out that it's a Paddington one, which I could have told him.

Starting point is 01:54:52 Because you've got two Paddington bears on there and the ton is the castle. I don't know what the wolves are, but that you can see is the borough of Paddington, which isn't even a borough anymore. No, because it didn't survive when they they in 67 they merged a load of London councils yeah what's the middle sex is the famous one right well they that's a different thing that used to be an actual county that got swallowed up by London yeah she's

Starting point is 01:55:19 but the I'm talking about their existing smaller boroughs that merged. Red light man! Right that's it. I want the world to know he went right for a red light and he was on his phone. So if you want to, I don't know what I said but tell it to the police. Yeah. No we can't rejoin, this is all still, no but that's what I'm saying the gardens are closed now so we can't get down there. This goes into the Paddington part now now is that it we reach the end is this the end of the book? This is the basin. Well then what's all the rivers by the Paddington is that a different thing altogether? This is the start of the book Little Venice which is the end the end for us

Starting point is 01:55:59 yeah that's that's the Grand Union going off there and the Regents Canal does start there so this is is it, this is the base. Should we go to the park? Should we see if we can get to the park then? I think it would be symbolic to sit in there and say, game over, game over. Then I can find out what this book says about this area. But effectively, this-

Starting point is 01:56:17 It's definitely what we were saying, weren't we? It's the poshest part of the walk so far up here in Little Venice. Little Venice because of the canal, of course. Yes, of course. That's how he got his name. Of course. Because Venice, famous for canals. Famous for canals. Warwick Avenue where there's a tube stop.

Starting point is 01:56:32 You can because we went down here once for something. Well that's why I thought the gate might be closed. So homeless don't go. True. And we do look like homeless at times. You said I looked like Delboy. Yeah. But Delboy didn't look homeless did he? He just looked shifting and unreliable. I mean, which is you. It fits. Yeah, it does. See this says City of Westminster. Make your mind up London

Starting point is 01:56:58 Well, it looks like it's open is it? No, gate closed Paddington Green and Little Venice canal side. It closed. It closed at 7 and we're past 7. So we can get onto the canal down there though. It's a different canal, isn't it? And walk back up this way. Shall we do that? Yeah. Let's go do that. Let's do that. Otherwise this might be a bit anticlimactic. Rembrandt Gardens, named after the band who did the theme tune for the sitcom Friends. Were they called Reimbrant Gardens? The Rembrant Gardens, yeah. They were called the Rembrant, weren't they?

Starting point is 01:57:31 No, they were called Rembrant Gardens. They were called Rembrant Gardens. Yeah, they were called Rembrant Gardens. Yeah, they were called Rembrant Gardens. They say Rembrant Gardens really fast. Rembrant Gardens, really fast. Where's the Canal Cafe then? I thought that was on a canal path or river.

Starting point is 01:57:39 We were going to talk about it and go, oh, we did that. No, I know, we were going to talk about it and go, oh, we did that. I think it's a different little spur. There's a few little spur little things. Where's the canal cafe then? I thought that was on a canal path or river. We were going to talk about it and go, oh we did that. There's a few little spurts, little tributaries around here. I find it quite confusing sometimes the actual layout right here. And with the massive flyover and everything. So Paddington's up that way?

Starting point is 01:58:00 Yeah, that's Paddington. That's where I thought the path was still going. But we can get onto the canal the other side All right up here and that's the famous modernist building The one that's stuck right in that weird yeah, yeah, we've done this part of the walk before we're crossing streams basically Oh, we really are we have been all day, but we have been hopefully people who still enjoy a little Let's get down there then how some I'll quickly do that. Yeah, because there's a cunt there, isn't he? He's walking his dog. We can't actually get back onto the region. No, but we can. We've seen the last of the region, but we're going to get briefly on the region. That means that was the last bridge. Yeah. Which means the total is,

Starting point is 01:58:35 according to our calculations, 61? Shall I ask Google? Well no, I don't... Ask him. Oh we shouldn't have crossed here. How many bridges are there on the Regent's Canal in London? Because it says 61 here. 40 though. Approximately. I mean it's hard to be approximate with bridges like you know I mean. We've all dropped a few bridges but you know. Give or take. Fucking bridges love.

Starting point is 01:59:11 We need fucking data. We need data. I think that's what John Rogers said about 40. I think going forward our number should be the official number. Cheap shows official number. What's our number? 59? 51. 61. 61. Can we go down this way? We need to get over there. Well we should have gone on the other crossing and then under and over. Right, you know what?

Starting point is 01:59:33 Oh, a car dominated nightmare we've hit now. Listen, when it comes to bridges and the canal, Cheap Show's fucking walk the walk and now we're talking the talk and we're telling you it's 61. And you know what, even if you want to say we've overcalculated, tonight's round 60. Fucking more than 40, put it in your pipe, put your hat on, shoes, socks, out the door. Who could call that approximately 40? Only if someone with a lazy bridge counting technique. It's like speaking to a council clerk.

Starting point is 02:00:00 How many bridges? About 40. Approximately 40 bridges. Well we've fucking bought the cap, t-shirt, badge, matching socks and fucking underwear. And the album and the tour guide. Across Warwick Avenue. There's a man, he's stopping. Warwick Avenue, it's all happening. And Howley Place. We came down here when we were, do you remember we went to Paddington Green? Yeah. And we found out about the first detective,

Starting point is 02:00:28 whatever, that Victorian. First private detective. Yeah that was funny. That was a good story actually. I think that was a podcast, that was a top tier. That was a top tier video. Top tier video yeah. Well here we go, going to enter the subterranean world here. Subterranean world. And hopefully get to the canal. Right well well hey we can at least say we've now done the canal bit everything is a brucy bonus but what I think we should do is walk it a little bit and then find a place to wrap up. Yeah? Yeah there'll be benches down there and restaurants and stuff so I think it's still good. Yeah let's do that then. Yeah don't fucking walk back the way we've came we've done it we've bought the t-shirt, t-shirt,

Starting point is 02:01:04 badge, hat, trainers, we've bought it We've done it. We've bought the t-shirt, t-shirt, badge, hat. Stop saying that. Trainers. Stop talking about things we've bought. We haven't bought nothing. I'm just saying metaphorically, we own it. One bottle of overpriced fizzy water each on this walk, didn't we?

Starting point is 02:01:15 That's it. All right, well then we fucking walked the walk. Is that all we bought? That's all we've bought all day. Apart from the... The greasy spoon coffee and Sammy. Do you think that's what gave me? The bacon and egg sandwich?

Starting point is 02:01:23 No, because I had the thing and it was fine. It was fine, they were very nice in there weren't they? As far as I'm concerned my guts are working, it's spick span so it's all good. And also it had a had one of those hygiene stickers and it was five out of five I noticed looking in the door there. And they looked like they knew what they were doing, they were running a comfy cozy honest business. It was off to... Well I got the runs quite severely, it was like an attack. Yeah, but weren't you feeling grotty all morning basically, you were saying? Yeah, yeah. This was a long time coming, you know?

Starting point is 02:01:53 This is beautiful. Oh yeah, it's got a little purse as an underpass. Oh, it's a nice blue, yellow... It looks like the seats for the Metline. Or Piccadilly. Oh, that's actually quite good. I'll take one of you in the other tunnel. I like it with the way you look up there.

Starting point is 02:02:12 Oh, look at that. Look at this. Is this a bridge? This isn't a bridge. You know what, mate? Bridges down. Bridges down, mate. We've done the bridges. This is not lone, lone with the Bridgen Canal, but there are bridges here. From this point on, I am not in the business of bridges. This is near where they shot part of Sexy Beast.

Starting point is 02:02:35 The London sections, round this big flyover. You would, wouldn't you though? It's like the LA of London, this bit. It's that sort of anonymous, lonely lonely cold. So that's the way we came, that's where we should go. I think we should find somewhere to sit down. Over there in the business park area. Alright let's do that. I'm gonna wrap this up. We're gonna wrap this up now, we've reached the end, let's wrap this up and we'll see you a bit later. Right, so Eli and I have chosen this spot to be our final spot for the recording.

Starting point is 02:03:30 Where is this? It's basically a shopping and dining development on the canal side, just at the bottom of, that's the Grand Union Canal. That's the one that stretches all the way out of London, hundreds of miles up to Manchester. That's where we saw when we did the Selendine Walk. That's right. Right. That we intersected much further north, of course, because we're by Paddington here.

Starting point is 02:03:52 And so, and this is like a little park they've built in. It's like an amphitheater sort of style, wooden decked park thing. It's hard to describe. I will take a photo of it. And there's lots of chain restaurants here a great big so a pret and it's actually quite handy when you think about it but the whole development is called Paddington Central see and it's one of these you know public spaces but it's privately

Starting point is 02:04:23 owned so they've got their own little security force it's one of those places. It's only to fuck off at a certain time of night. And I just don't approve of it as a thing. No. But it's the world isn't it? Everyone's welcome until this time of the night and fuck off. I think talking about you know London the metropolitan area if it's public it should be public should be publicly owned I don't I mean I don't. I'm not here to judge. Right so. public should be publicly owned I don't I mean I don't I'm not I'm not here to judge right so I don't like the whole point that they're like giving us they're

Starting point is 02:04:50 saying okay you're right to be here but you have to sort of get their implicit permission the owners permission they can kick you off they don't have to really give you a reason yeah because it's private property and that's just not right and the liars it's a space for everyone it's not right so this armrest is so people can't just go to sleep yeah although i reckon you could wriggle your way i could get my leg in there yeah anyway look we're gonna wrap this up this has been a very long day for us i know i know what time is it i want to actually know the time i'm gonna call eight o'clock o'clock. So this has been a solid six hour walk for us. Give or take a

Starting point is 02:05:30 diversion or two. We thought it would be that long didn't we? Yeah. Six hours, eight and a bit miles, not bad. Pretty good. I am pooped though. My legs are begging for rest. I'm gonna have a lovely long bath tonight but we deserve a treat and we deserve to have something to eat, I think, don't you think? Yes. So. Paul spotted the Wagamama. What are you gonna go for?

Starting point is 02:05:51 I don't know yet. It's not important right now. What's important is signing off. I don't think they do that char han. Do you remember it was like a sort of fried rice stick? It's a fucking great bowl of. I don't think they do that now. Well then I will fucking kick off.

Starting point is 02:06:01 They still do the katsu curry, of course. Oh, that's good shit though. Anyway, look, focus, focus, focus. What now? I'm trying to do a wrap up aren't I? So we've done eight and a half miles, six hours and 61 bridges official, 61 official bridges along the Regents canal from the Limehouse basin to the Paddingtonin. Is that what it's called? That's right. So we've gone from Basin to Basin. Basin to Basin. Basin to Basin. Basin to Basin. Basin to Basin. Basement. Err. Basement. Basement basket. Perineum. Perineum. We walked the whole perineum from balls to butt. Right, fuck me.

Starting point is 02:06:46 You keep trying. I'm trying to give a little bit of zhuzh on it. There's no zhuzh and don't do zhuzh like that. He's raising his hand like Salt Bae. You remember that everyone? Yeah that was all good for a five minute. He's doing a Salt Bae pose. He's zhuzhing as if Salt Bae is sprinkling the zhuzh and not the salt.

Starting point is 02:07:04 I'm trying to add an extra $500 worth of quality onto this podcast. Wow. You need to judge ladies. Come on, mate. Right. Come on. Let's go get something to eat. Listen, we hope you've enjoyed this walk of our episode.

Starting point is 02:07:16 There is an accompanying video that we'll be putting on YouTube as soon as I can fucking edit it. So that will be up there as well. But look, listen, long story short, thank you for supporting supporting us if you do indeed support us on patreon.com for such a cheap show we thank you from the bottom of our hearts without you we couldn't do crazy shit like this we hope you enjoyed the walk Ainsley Harriot. Fuck that don't just shout Ainsley Harriot at me when I'm trying to wrap this up. It's relevant. It's not relevant. Ainsleyinsley Harriet hasn't been relevant in a while he doesn't go like that. Score system Ainsley Harriots remember again we're

Starting point is 02:07:51 not doing Bridges we're not doing Ainsleys we're not doing an Ainsley it's a big vivid Ainsley. What? Wrap it up. Queen of Pastry Julia Jones you can call yourself the Queen of Pastry. bet you do. I bet she's got proper bona fides about pastry. Yeah. Look at her. She's slapping her pastry. She looks like someone who could legitimately... What he's doing looks like rude. He's doing innuendo and he's like, oh go I can't believe it. He's dancing around. Stop.

Starting point is 02:08:22 I can't f**k it. Now we've been distracting my Ainsley Harrier. We were meant to be wrapping this up and unfortunately we've been distracted by Ainsley Harriot. We were meant to be wrapping this up and unfortunately we've been trapped. He is quite a mesmerising and charismatic figure. The event horizon of talent, Ainsley Harriot has distracted us as we try to wrap up this. Listen, hey also, this goes out on Friday, this goes out on Friday, right, to everyone listening who's coming to the live show as part's part of the Cheerful Earful Festival, we'll see you on Saturday the 19th of October. Come see the show and we'll have a chat with you all afterwards as well.

Starting point is 02:08:51 We're going to have big fun time. You're looking forward to it? I certainly am Paul. We're going to have big fun time on stage. Big fun time on stage. And then I'll probably have a drink afterwards and meet people. And then ignore people and look at your phone in the corner. It's fine.

Starting point is 02:09:04 I know where the talent is in this double act and it's with this little man here. The little man. No, this little man here. Do you know where it's with? This little man. That little man. Captain Nugget. Right, let's say goodbye. Let's say goodbye because we've got nothing else to add other than what was being distracted by Ainsley Harriot's gurning face in front of us. Why hasn't McDonald's ever done a Captain Nugget? That would be great. Like it could be a fish nugget. This is weird. You were talking about Captain Nugget and Ainsley Harriot giving a full gurn in my other peripheral vision. I can't do this. Let's get something to eat. See you next time on Cheap Show everyone. Bye bye. Bangers are mash, bangers are mash, them chips are rims, there ain't no doubt.

Starting point is 02:09:45 Bangers are mash, bangers are mash, I ain't a kid and you, they're too keen hungry and about they do. But bangers are mash, bangers are mash, all they wanna do is have some fun. They never mean to do no harm but you can guarantee, they'll upset the apple-cutter and they'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter.

Starting point is 02:09:53 They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter.

Starting point is 02:10:01 They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. They'll get the apple-cutter. But bangers are mash, bangers are mash All they wanna do is have some fun They never mean to do no harm but you can guarantee They'll upset the apple called though accidentally Mash and bangers, clangers come about quite frequently Whala whala whala whala

Starting point is 02:10:16 Bangers are mash

CheapShow - Ep 406: All Water Under The Bridge (Mono Edition)

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