CheapShow - Ep 422: Tat Hunt: Scrumptious Tat

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

Last week, Paul and Eli gave themselves the challenge of finding six typical pieces of CheapShow tat in just a few hours, in the charity shops of Watford High Street. This week… they are going to share and review their findings. It’s a little more random than usual as the items range from the mundane to the bizarre. Along the way, they’ll bounce from toy cars to kitsch porcelain statues, via 1980s light entertainers and cheesy dance party albums. After an exhausting day of CheapShowing, the cheap chaps are finding it hard to find the right words, so they decide to invent a load of new ones instead! Who got the best tat, who failed the task? You decide! (But you don’t really decide. Just listen in.) It’s time for Tat Hunt: Watford High Street Part Two. See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-422-tat-hunt-scrumptious-tat And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art & merch: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Previously on Jeep Show, me and Eli did this. Oh, let's go to Watford, Mr. Silverman. Okay, oh, Bushy. Oh, Bushy Quim. No, it's a thicket. We've got six items to get. Oh, I can't find any items, Paul. Beat mind the traffic.

Oh, it's shut. The bus is, oh, I can't believe it. All the shops are shut. Oh, are you gonna get a board game? We've run out of time. You've gotta get a record and a book and a toy. Oh, we've run out of time. We're gonna have to go to Smith's Toy Shop.

Quick, we've got something. Let's get a coffee and go home. Oh, but the coffee... Where's the Costa? The Costa isn't here. It's in this clothing shop. It's in this clothing shop. Weird. Bing bing on the bus. Boop boop. Bye bye. Bushy? Oh, it's a thicket. It's like a shrub. The end. Wilson's thicket, bushy. Shrub. And that's what happened last week

on Cheap Show where we went on Tat Hunt Part 1 to Watford to buy six items. This week we're going to show you them. Shall we show them them? Shrub rub rub. Ruta Barga. They put that in pickle. You know that. Sometimes I really hate you. Just your ability to derail things. I try not to feel hate. It's bad for you. It corrodes you inside. Is it? It corrodes you inside when you hate people, Paul. You shouldn't hate people. You should take that feeling. Take that feeling.

Feel it. Feel it. And like a cloud, let it move. Need to express it. No, you don't have to express it. I need to express it differently. I need to express something. I need to express some spunk. My bushy. Welcome to Cheap Show. It's Tackle's Pot. My bushy? Did you just say my bushy?

Yeah, my thick pubic thatch! Have you got one? My volumous bushy! How thick is it? You could get lost in it. Nah, I like to keep it wild down there. Are you joking now? I don't even know if you're joking. Put your head down there and get lost in my thicket.

Go on, get lost in my thicket! In the niffy trees? In my bushy thicket, with the old oak tree in the middle of the forest standing proud next to warbly boulders, warbly boulders, the warbly boulders and the big thick oak around my bushy thicket. Can we do the episode now? I don't want to. Right, we're doing it anyway. Welcome to Cheap Show. It's Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where every week me lion pie card. Every week Eli and I go for the charity shop Bargainlands and Poundlands of Great Britain and bring you the treasury found amongst the trash. And this week, it's part two of our tat-hunt adventure.

Last week, we went to Watford and we had to find six common Cheap Show items in the shops we found in Watford. Hello, Eli. Hello, Paul. How are you feeling this week going into tat-h's The Showdown? I'm feeling OK.

I feel a bit billy-ous. Yeah, I've been quite windy. Top man tale. I don't know what happened. It's because I got thirsty all of a sudden. You know when you get overtaken with a sudden thirst? And a ravenous thirst. We just want to throw it down your throat almost.

I did. And then I happened to have a wee bit of Pepsi Max cherry, which we're not going to get into now. There was a bottle of Pepsi Max cherry, and I think I it too fast and now I'm all burpy burpy. Burpy boy. Well that's of no interest to me or anyone else. I don't know there may be people in there who are into burp, burp porn, borp. I don't know what borp is.

You, you need to calm down and watch your mouth today. I'm excited I can't get the words out fast enough. Middly, middly, middly, fiddly, middly. Right, warm up your mouth. Roar. Oh dear, Mr Silverman. Shut up. Sometimes we can make it implicit rather than explicit.

Oh yeah, I'll make it implicit. I'll make it fucking right in. I'll really implicit you. I'll get it in and then piss it. Nonsense. I'll piss. We decided that last week, the six most common items on Cheap Show are toys,

books, trinkets around the house in general, objets d'art, kitchenware, party records or records in general and games board games. And what did we do Mr Silverman? We wrote those onto pieces of paper, those categories, randomized them, put them into the pocket of your jacket, my hot pocket, and we reached in one at a time and took out a little sliver. And then those were the three items after all was completed that we must have, must buy and we haven't revealed them to each other. No. And so this week we're going to do two things with each item that we both bought.

Yes. And I have two items of some of those. So there's multiple items coming down the line tonight. Yes. Or today, whenever you're listening to this. Whenever you're listening. Middle of the night, morning. Could be in the morning. Most people are, I think most people are a kind of evening kind of listener, I think. It's a cheap show. I don't know. I want to say 11ses with cucumber samris. I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did.

Everyone's glad I did. Yeah, I'm glad you did. Scrunch. We're going to break this up into six segments. My new word, by the way. Scrumptch. As in delish or scrumptch. That was scrumptch. It's good, innit? It's alright.

It kinda feels like that's done though. Who's done it? I don't know. I've never heard nothing, no one said it nowhere. You've got a very clappy mouth. You know what I mean? When I've got lots of... You're dry.

Dry mouth is what it is. I'm gonna have to get some water. We'll do it in a minute. We'll get some water in a minute. Okay. Did you see that guy with a ferret in the street in Watford last week this week today? It was last week, but for them it was for us It happened a few hours ago jumping all through time But a guy came out of a Wenzel's with a with a ferret in his hands. No, he's an old man with a bobbly hat on

He probably used it to toss himself off How would you use it was his ferret wankade? We slathers some ferret meat on it or whatever it is ferrets like to eat. They don't look cannibals you are making zero sense. I'm just saying he wraps something around it. Some ferret food. Yeah. Not ferret meat. Ferret meat would be the meat of the ferret. Maybe it is. I don't know. Don't eat ferrets guys. What's that word you ate? It's squedged. Scrunch. Scrged. Scrunch. As in short for scrumptious.

Anyway, I'm just saying he had a ferret and it was just sitting there. You understand it's short for scrumptious. Scrumptious, truly scrumptious. Scrunch, doesn't matter. It does matter because all this is is words, Paul. So the actual words do matter. There's no, you know what I mean? They're not real words though.

Scrumptious a real word. It is now to you. Anyway, I've just had a thought about ferret meat. It wanks him off somehow. Moving on. No, imagine you had run out of sausages, right? I would. But you had a bunch of ferrets. And someone in your life was demanding a banger.

You could just sort of take the legs off a ferret. Take your legs and heads off and make it a ferret banger. I shouldn't have gone down that road. Do you, Eli Silverman? I'm a ferret fancier and I hated your derogatory comments towards the most kind and fun of creatures on this planet. Are they? It doesn't matter that I use it to wank me off every few weeks.

That's not the point here. They scratch and all run around and scratch and they never stop moving. Anyway, this one was quite sedate in his hands. He drugged this poor ferret. He had a little collar on it with a little leash. He fucking injected the ferret with heroin. Either way, he brought it out for a walk. That ferret's gonna have a crack baby.

Who can't see. Thank you. Let's get out of here. Right, six items. Yes. Eight items. Okay, but six within the remit of what we set out to do. Six categories of item, eight actual items.

You can go first then. What do you want to start with? Let's start with my trinket. Oh yes, get your trinket out for all the girls. Now I had my eye on something made by the same people in the Oxfam in Walthamstow. Okay. It was much more expensive than this and it had disappeared when I went back up there. So this was a kind of make-do second choice. Well they had loads of examples of this.

Well let me just show you. Let's have a little look. Yeah. It's wrapped up in... Oh wrapped up in blue. I'll let you open the... Alright. There you go.

Oh I get to open it up. Wrapped in newspaper. Did they do that for you? It is ceramic so just to let you know. Be careful. Ceramic. Oh it's been wrapped up good. Oh what is this? Oh you know for a minute there I thought it was a turd on a gherkin. A turd on a gherkin? Yeah like a double decker kind of thing. It's a little porcelain oak. You can't describe it. A tree trunk on its side

with some foliage and little deer or... Sitting there. Sitting there and there's space in there for I don't know trinkets or... Or sweets, little mints you could put in there. Oh, I should have took the sticker off me. Granny's mints, oh shit. Let's just skip the pot, we guessed the price. Wow, but we've just told everyone we're going to do that. Is it £4 do you like?

Yes, two per twigs. Don't write those down! F***ing bollocks! All right, I'll tell you what. We can guess the price of the other things. Yes, all right. Sorry, these are uno guess the price of the other things. Yes, alright. Sorry, these are unofficial loose petwings. Okay.

This week. Well let's just forget petwings and let's just have a rough guess. We'll have a little guess. At Lasse Fair. Yeah. Sorry I kept the price on. Which is a theme park for dogs. Thank you, round of applause.

With these things, this is by a company called With'n'See England, Pottery Fauna, which is what it's called. It's a little bambi looking deer. It appeals to me. Eastgate, it's got printed in it. I can just see Eastgate England. It's made in Eastgate, yeah. They had lots of similar things. So it's basically like, yeah, a little, it's a bowl essentially. Yeah, what would you put in it? Potpourri?

Yeah, or like little mints. Like leccas and rings? I can imagine a granny having this and putting the mints in there for the kids to get or whatever. But it appeals to me, it's a trunk with a little deer, a baby deer, almost a bambi like deer. A fowl. What appeals to me about these things, it is in good condition. Yes, it's usually these things are chipped or yeah. They had a lot of these and the one that I saw in Oxfam in Walthamstow was like a bit longer but was a very similar thing and I think it had a deer on one end and a

deer on the other end. But that was a tenner and this is only four. Four quits about fine for that. They were all four. So was it a bug price? Was it like all for one or was it one for all? They had some bigger ones and some larger ones and I asked... Was it all for one or one for all Eli? Was the joke I was desperately trying to make until Little Miss Cut Me Off, Cut Me Off! Ooh, I'm Little Miss Cut Me Off. Yeah, you're Little Miss Cut Me Off.

I cut... Do you want to talk about foreskins now? Because I know that's where your bait's going. I dare you! Little Miss Cut Me Off. My first foreskin cutter offer. What is it when you snip a foreskin off for a religious bris? Moving on briskly. Brisket, a trisket. Brisket? No, it's bris. Anyway, what appeals to me

about this- That's like cooked meat, isn't it? A brisket. It's beef, yeah, beef brisket. But bris is not- No, it's not beef bris. That's not good. Anyway, stop. All right. What appeals to me about these, Paul, is they are kitschy. They are kitschy. I like that. There's actually quite a nice build quality and mold and paint job on it.

And look at the, for example, the- Where do you think that's from? Like date-wise? I would say mid 20th century. Okay. What's it called again? Weather? They are called Eastgate. They're called withercy. How do you Eastgate, they're called... It says weather...

Withersea. How do you spell that, sorry? Withernsea. Withernsea pottery. Yeah. I just want to see if anything... Forna it says, because this is a forna, because it's a little deer. Oh, there's an eBay shop just out of interest, I'm just going to see what kind of prices...

Ooh, some of these withernbee stuff goes for like 50, 60 quid. Now they're much bigger, like for instance there's a forna deer and rabbit base thing, and they're going for two items for a ten on eBay right now. Yeah, I just like them. Very similar, kitschy. They've got a kitschy, almost a Disney feel to them. It's that kitschy feel. Well that one's going for 50p and it's very similar but a bit more truncated.

That's nice. I just wouldn't like a whole set, but I just think with some other different things it kind of has a nice kitsch vibe. Do you remember that dog thing, the pottery dog thing? We got sent one and I'd also bought one. It's sort of like in that kind of realm. And that was strange. They were like the same mold, but different complete glazing altogether. Yeah. One was much higher quality product, but used the same mold. It was like a dog face. But this is a little deer.

1960s, they say for this line. So, okay. Yeah. Mid-century. That does look like a 60s piece of... face. But this is a little deer. 1960s they say for this line. Yeah. So, okay, yeah. Mid-century, yeah. That does look like a 60s piece of object art. I like this kind of kitschy stuff. You know, I've heard somewhere that definition of kitsch, Paul, Yeah. is something that is bad, but is sincerely trying to be good.

You know what I mean? It's sincerely trying to be a good film or a good painting. Yeah, no, actually, good blogger. Is a term used to describe art, design or objects that are considered to be in poor taste, tacky or overly eccentric. The term originated in the 19th century. There are characteristics of kitsch, apparently. There's imitation, which is an imitation of another piece of art or work.

Exaggeration, exaggerated colours, textures, properties. Gordy, yes, and flash. Sentimentality, when it's overly sentimental. That's the shit my mum bought in the 90s and put up on our tables and coffee tables and all this stuff. But don't you think that has some of that? Because it's sort of really cutesy, the way this deer is portrayed. And they can also be garish or ironic. But it's not an irony that the creator is aware of. That's not true kitsch. I would say if it was ironic, it wouldn't be kitschy. Yeah. Personally speaking. The irony is in the lover of kitsch.

That's where the irony resides, not in the actual object itself, because then it becomes a self-aware kitschiness, which isn't kitsch. Well, tell you what, let's rate it. If we look at a price, let's rate them in terms of, as an example of something we get on the show, what do you rate that? I'm going to be honest, for what it is, I'm going to give that a nice three and a half, three out of four, out of five. I like it.

It's a four for me. Alright, so Eli's putting four down. I wasn't going to get it, but then I asked him the price and I thought that's a good price because I saw that thing for tenner. You know, that's reasonable. And it is, like I say, in perfect condition. Yeah, nice. Bit dusty in the hole.

But you know, you've had that complaint for a while. Thank you. Let's find out my item now because I'm going to show you my item. Okay, don't tell me the price. No, I'm not going to. In fact, I'm just going to check the stickers not on it. Yeah, check the stickers not on it. What item is this? This is the book. Well, I don't know. I can pick. Oh, no, I can pick any of these. Well, what do you want to show me first?

I might go for the kitchenware one first. Oh, cool. Here we go. Now, you've got a kitchen, what was the category? Kitchenware. Things you would buy that would live in your kitchen, in a drawer, as a gadget, as a cutlery, a piece of crockery, whatever. We've had over the years heart-shaped egg makers, for example.

Yeah, slap chop, which is also what I call my dick. We never had a slap chop. We had a slap chop. That's why I got it in my kitchen, because we got it for the show once. Oh, and it doesn't work very well. No, no, it's not the best slap chop I've ever had. Why wouldn't you just use a knife? There's a YouTuber I watch. Yes, it's very effective.

But so is a knife. And a knife can be used for all sorts of other things as well. That's the thing. I think that's the main thing with most kitchen gadgets is that a traditional item such as a knife or a spoon, is going to do it much better and can do all sorts of other stuff as well. That's just a point. I know that's not a funny point. It doesn't have to be funny. Sometimes we can actually, you know, say English language words and be sensible. Speak for yourself.

No. I actually can't with my fucking stupid tongue. You can't. Hand it over. Eli, please investigate this kitchenware item and then guess the price. He's handing me. It's in the box. It's mint on box. You've left some of the sticker on here. Yeah, but it's not the price part which is the important part. This is made by a company called Silvercrest. Yes. You shouldn't judge it based on the company name. It's a mini sealer Paul. It's a what? Say you shouldn't judge it again. You shouldn't judge it by its name alone. I do though. Right, well done. I'm glad we managed to elucidate on that.

There's one thing you should judge by its name alone. What? The name of things. I mean, true. If it's like, let's go to a club tonight. Oh, what do you want to go to? Do you want to go to Cool Mark's Groovy Palace? Or do you want to do Captain Fascist's Far Right Club? I'd probably go Far Right Club, please. I'm joking. Oh dear. Of course. Of course I'm joking, ladies and gentlemen. I've got social anxiety. I'm never leaving the house unless I have to. Anyway, I need a knife or something to open this box. Oh, I've got something I can use maybe.

Otherwise it's going to take me longer to peel it off with my fingers. Let me just use this pin to prick the sandwich. No, it's okay. It's okay, Paul. No, give me it. No, it's okay. Give me it. I'm doing it myself. It's fine. I'm doing it. It's almost done. Stop put the pin away It's a Ghostbusters badge everyone, but it's not the kind of badge he's interested in

Oh, you got a badge today, didn't you? You're gonna put that on your board? It's already there look. Oh, it has. Black cherry the one I bargained off you for the frisbee last week That was a good deal. Good deal. And look it looks quite good on my board next to everything else Yeah, I'm happy with that. It's a nice little pin. It is just a bottle cap with a pin on the back though, so whatever. This is a mini sealer. Now he said sealer not sailor, I didn't get a tiny little like Popeye figure. Oh, is this battery driven and it heat seals? I don't think it heat seals, I think it just seals bags, crisps bags, etc.

But how does it do it? I don't know, you could look at the instructions and find out for me. It looks like a little plastic stapler. How much instructions do you need with this? Yeah, it is battery. It's heat-seizing All right good. It comes with batteries. That's good. I haven't owned this. I don't know what's in it I just know it's in it. No, it's definitely for plastic things and it glues it back by by melting it Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. That's why they use it on crisp bags. Oh, I want to use this Yeah, well, that's why I brought this little bag. I brought oh you bought something. Yeah Well, let me see how you get the

batteries in. Remember those stinky dick crisps? I've still got them. We can seal the bag. Oh, let's seal it off forever. Forever and dump it in the fucking canal. No, that would be pollution. Oh, fucking stinky stink. Is that the dick ones? I know they're still in my house, but I haven't had the time to throw it out yet. So he's going to put the batteries in now. I'm putting the batteries in now. I'm going to look at the instructions. Put the batteries in.

Okay, done. Closing the foil packaging. Warning, risk of damage to materials. Open the packaging with scissors. The device is suitable for reclosing an existing foil packaging such as crisps or wine gum bags. That's a very specific second option. My God. Tilt the safety bracket three downwards.

Is that this? I've done that. I think this looks like a bracket type thing. It does look like a bracket, but there's no... I've done it. I've tilted it down. There's no image to go along with the, please touch this. The safety bracket is down. Right. I'm ready. I'm ready with my bracket down. Insert the upper end of the foil package into the end of the device marked with the symbol

and then there's like a little crisp bag symbol somewhere near the end of it, it says. Ah, got it, yep. Yeah? Give us a crisp. Hang on, let me read it out together and then keep it pressed together until the welding areas heat up after several seconds. And then hold the package in one hand, pull the device evenly from one edge of the packaging to the other and weld together.

It says here, see figure B, but as I'm literally flicking through this, there are no images, there's no drawings. Maybe it's all in different language and you have to go further in. Oh here we go. No it's in the flap. It's in the flap, which is often the case. I often miss things in the flap. So there's the hinge bracket three, pull it down. Yeah, look over here what I've done over here.

Yeah, all right. Pass me the crisps. Is it on? Did you put batteries in? Yep. So I put them in the right way. These are the dick flavoured crisps. Chas dick flavour. Yeah, we all learnt the hard way there.

Very good. So yeah, press it down at the end opposite the bracket. Yeah, I'm doing it. Look, there's the symbol. Yeah, and then you clip it on it and then draw it across. You have to hold it in place and let it seal. Yeah. And then draw it slowly across. You should be doing it now.

Let me go do it. No, I'm doing it. It's your... you bought the item, it's me. I know, but... Come on. Again, Trotter Silverman is a... Don't say Trotter. Don't...

Horse Hoof... I'm actually very dexterous. Pony Hoof-y like is... I'm not. I'm not a clumsy or undecetraous person. I have small hands. Sorry, that's what God gave me. Yeah, blame God. Why don't you?

I will. Fucking will. Give me half a chance. Do your family have small hands? Are you a small-handed family? Of course we are. I just wanted to know if you were consistent to whether you were special. No.

You were gifted with the gift of tiny hand. Well, I'm holding it closed for several... This is a terrible thing. Yeah, but I don't know if it's working or not. Well, how'm holding it closed for several. This is a terrible thing. Yeah, but I don't know if it's working or not. Well, how would you know? Cause you meant to draw it across. No, you meant to get it warm first. No, you do the wrong end, I think.

I know how to follow instructions, basic instructions. Doesn't seem to be like you know how to follow them. Is this a second hand item? Yes. Maybe it's broken. Tilt the safety bracket downwards, insert the upper of the full packet to get the end with the thing. Yeah.

And then it says carefully press the end marked there together and keep it pressed together till the welding areas heat up. How do I know when the welding areas have heated up? That's what I don't know. There's no light on it or anything, is there? And then it just says then hold the packaging in one hand, pull the device evenly from one edge of the packaging to the other. So it should be that you can just draw it across now.

So give that a go. Well well should I try that now or how do I know if it's hot oh you can smell a dick crisp so I know I'm trying to get the smell of burning alright I'm pulling it across give it a go see what happens is anything happening yeah is it sealed did it work no no can I have a go then at least it's not heating up I Oh it did work sort of. Actually yeah. Oh it did start to work. I'll have a little go. So you put it in here. Yeah. And you hold it down. Now hold it for a while. Yeah. You need the safety bracket. Keep the safety bracket up there. Yeah. Almost. Yeah. See it's doing something. Alright it is doing something. Oh god. I don't know why he wants to do this. I was doing it perfectly well.

It worked though. It fucking was. So I think the other end is what you open it with because it's got a little blade on. Ah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. So I think if I just put that there and I draw it across yeah you tear it. Oh yeah it does work, you see. It's a terrible thing. No it works, that worked. I don't need that, I could use a plastic band. Yes true, or you could use a clipper or anything but that is at least a seal, an airtight seal.

It's a terrible thing. I give it one out of five. Dear I'm gonna give it three, I think it's quite practical. I give it one out of five. Yeah, I'm going to give it three. I think it's quite practical. Are you going to use it? Yeah. For what? Sealing crisps?

Every time we buy tons of crisps for this show and I'm left with 12 half bags. Actually, it could be of use to us because we do often have... That's what I'm saying. We always end up buying bags and then half opening all of them. And in fact, those garlic crisps that you hated

and misidentified the taste of, Yeah. you sealed them with gaffer tape last night. That's all I had, yeah. Yeah, well now you have this. So it will be of use to you. I don't think it was very effective. We kind of fumbled through the rules a bit and were impatient. So I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to give it three out of five. I would not. I know. But how much was it?

I hate that little thing. How much was it? I poo on it. How much was it? Three quid, that's what I'm going to say. You're locking that in? Yeah. How much was it? I poo on it. How much was it? Three quid, I was just going to say. You're locking that in? Yeah. The answer was two pounds.

So two pound there. Yeah. Not bad for two pounds. Yeah, but it's just not needed. Again. No, not necessary, but you know. It's not my maker. It might come in handy for me to preserve a load of unused crisps on this show.

It might do. I just need to get better at using it because I kind of fumbled through it. I'll make a wager with you now. This will go in the box and it will never be used again. Yeah, maybe. But for the time being, it's something I might use the next time we do crisps or sweets or whatever on the show and I want to see them and have them again later. Paul, I hope your other items are better than that because whew. Well, I hope your items are better than stupid fucking- No, we both liked the little deer thing. Fancy little deer on a fucking tree trunk for potpourri or sweets. Yeah.

Who knows with Nan, they both taste the same. Right, shall we go on to your second item then? Yeah. Alright, good, because I've got two hummers, humdingers coming out here. Hummers? Yeah, they do hum. I bet they do hum. Right on the tip of your shit. On your fucking chip chop. Ha ha ha.

Go on, what's your second? Records. Now, here's the thing. I know you've got a few, but I'm only going to put one forward. Now he's taking the stickers off. So I've got the record player out, ready to go. I've got a speaker.

We're all good. We'll hear a little bit of it. I've got a few. I've got two. Two LPs. I know, but there's only one that was necessary. Well, I... What? This is thePs. I know, but there was only one that was necessary. Well, I... What? This is the rules.

Otherwise I could have got loads of books or loads of kitchen items. Yeah, but we want to... we'll only listen to one. Alright, first. Jeff Loves, Big Disco Sound, 16 fantastic titles, Dance Dance Dance, and you've got More, Brazil, Babyface, Tangerine, The Hustle. That's a weird mix. Eviva España, Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree. Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.

Do you know who'd sung that? Don't know originally, no. Dawn, they were called. The band? Yeah. Okay. I could have danced all night. Again, weird mix like Brazil.

Da da da, da da da da da da da da. Strangers in the Night. Yeah. Save Your Kisses for Me. That's Brotherhood of Man Eurovision song. You knew that one. It is a weird mix though, right? Dance Dance Dance. Is that Chic? I don't know.

That could be anything really. I'll Be Seeing You, Paloma Blanca, Boo Hoo, El Bimbo and Smile. What's El Bimbo? It's like a disco thing. Okay, alright, what's the second album? Joe Lost Plays Your All Time Party Hits. Joe Lost? Joe Lost.

Okay, I don't hear him. He's another easy listening guy, similar to James Last. But nowhere near as well known, I think. He's another one who's always in there. Prolific. Incredibly prolific. And this is Music for Pleasure ever MFP. Twist In the Mood.

Right. Samba Sukosuko. Wait, are these disco reinterpretations or are these just straight laced covers? This is just easy listening. This is big band easy listening. Muzak. Yeah. Simon Says says this guy's in love Charleston shake rattle and roll March of the Mods

didn't it in don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't yeah it's that one weird why is it called the mods don't know but that's what the song is called. Do they mean the mods as in the moderns? Possibly I don't know. Oh bloody oh but actually when were the mod movement? Started in the moderns? Possibly. I don't know. Oh bloody, oh bloody dark. But actually, when were the mod movement? Started in the 50s. So then maybe, because I think much of the mods is a 50s track. Yeah. Like late 50s. Hokey cokey. Who's taking you home tonight? Question mark.

Oh, I don't know. I live here. Who's taking you home tonight? This one will tickle you. I came, I saw, I conga'd. And that's what that tune is called, isn't it? I don't know. No, that, do you remember we did that tune? I know we had that whole thing about what type of conga and what type of thing. No,. Do you remember we did that show? I know we had that whole thing about what type of conga and what type of thing. Do you remember we did the record which was the something sisters and it said conga and then in brackets said I came I saw I conga'd. That's what it said on that record so it's the same song. That's what that song's called. I came I saw I conga'd. Take your word for it. No we found something else. Now I want to hear a bit of Jeff Love because Jeff Love, he's the daddy, isn't he? Unusually for easy listening

people of that era, he was a black British man. Yes, very uncommon. Very, very. Like I think the only one. And he did the movie theme albums and he did the terror one, which is great artwork with Jaws and has some really funky, excellent cover versions of themes such as The Exorcist, Jaws, Close Encounters, Brilliant. All those kind of wild goose movies as well and that kind of genre. Also, his Bond album is very good, frankly. Did he do a Bond one? Yeah, really? I remember because I think I've got it for a start and second of all I also think it was his version of Bond 77, 78, whatever it was. Marvin Hamlisch. Yeah, I think he does a cover of that. So which one do you want to have a quick listen to? I'm much more interested in Jeff Love.

All right, pick a side. But Joe Love was just as big as James Last. I mean, James Last is kind of like the figurehead for that kind of music. He was the biggest. He was a German man. He was a joke in Red Dwarf that like Rimmer's favourite music was listening to James Last and Hammond Organ as well. It's easy listening, isn't it?

Yeah. But easy listening can be good. Nothing wrong with it. That was its point. It was kind of fireplace music, wasn't it? It was designed to be on in the background. I would like to hear Yeah, I'm gonna get it ready. The Hustle. It's side one track five The penultimate track on side one. Here we go. The Hustle. Van McCoy's The Hustle. Jeff Love does The Hustle. Dr McCoy from Star Trek's The Hustle. No. Sylvester McCoy, Dr Who. Shut up!

Is The Hustle. Here we go. Yeah, baby. I like how seductive this begins. It was one of the biggest disco hits, crossover hits of all time, the original of it. Do do do do do, here we go. It's pretty slow though. Yeah. But he changed the arrangements and stuff. He was a really good musician and arranger.

But it sounds alright, doesn't it? Easy listening. It's got quite nice instrumentation. Just for me, put the conga one fight. Oh, these are both Music for Pleasure, look. I came, I saw a conga, which is... It is... The last one on side one. Because we're just interested in where this came from. Obviously it was a Cuban dance to begin with. Oh, it's live.

People love this stuff. Let's all do the conga. Da da da. So it is that tune. That's what that tune's called. We've got to the end of the bottom of it now. I love you when you take your top off and show me the bottom of it now. What's your score for me records? Both on the MFP label? Both on the MFP. Right, for what they are, they're well produced, they don't sound cheap in terms of like, it's a guitarist, a drum kit, one trombone, you know, it's like a whole orchestra.

Yeah, because these records used to sell. It's a whole category of music that just doesn't exist anymore. What would you say, without being too broadly offensive, it's for people who don't really like music. It's for people who need music for parties or whatever, but don't actually care about music all that much. Absolutely, that's the case. But there's some great easy listening that came out over the years.

Yeah. For example there's a very collectible James Last album when he went funky and he did like Superstition, Stevie Wonder's Superstition and other ones. That's probably the most expensive James Last LP if you ever see it. It's called like Jungle, Something Offensive. Oh okay, good. Because it's like funky black music. But yes, but nowadays, right, so this was obviously there's millions of these records. Joe lost this like uncountable and Jeff Lovett's loads of stuff as well. Like everywhere, every now and then I think, oh have I seen the last of the new To My Eyes, James Last? No,

there's always another one pops up where it's like James Last goes Calypso. Yeah, yeah, yeah, at least there were musicians being employed. Yes, real human beings making music with instruments they'd learned. If these days... Stick it in a fucking AI machine. Well, if these days, if someone who's like the type of person who would listen to this kind of thing, like you say, someone who's not particularly interested in music... Just stick it on the background while I do the hoovering. They'd use Spotify now, wouldn't they? They'd go Easy Jazz or Smooth Vibes, it's a playlist on Spotify, which is some of the evilest shit in terms

of ripping musicians off that has ever existed. What was the name of that genre of music where it's all fake shit? It was like dark music or something they called it. What was it? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's like not real music. But they do it, you know, I heard it even worse. So what I thought Spotify used to do is you put on a like, oh, I just want a Smooth Jazz playlist, let's say. And then they put in, in that playlist, they'll put in tunes

that are just made by their in-house producers. No, no musicians, just some guy. And then they get the revenue because that gets loads of plays, because it's all it's and it's on and it's on the playlist more than once. You know what I mean? It keeps it like a frequency. And they steal content as well from like YouTube and stuff and players like like hypnotherapy kind of stuff and you can tell it because the tracks just abruptly end halfway through and then skip to

something else. I know I was about to say it's even worse than that they they have sleep playlists that you're meant to put on when you sleep and they have these little 30 second songs that in house they come on in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep and they just keep doing them so that they can get their own revenue so you know it know, it's like... Don't listen to us on Spotify, by the way. Use Good Pods or Podcast Addict or Indie One. One of the worst corporations that's ever existed on the planet. And rate and review us on whatever platform that is. Thank you. But, you know, so my point is you're saying, oh, these records were made and they're landfill and they were made for people who don't like music.

Not so much landfill, but they're made for the less discerning listener. But at least... There's real people involved. There's real people involved, you know. Real arrangement skills. And the Joe Lost one, there was a whole crowd of people enjoying the play. And also, sometimes you hear a cover that ends up being fucking really good. Yes.

Different and good and unique and an interesting take. Do you remember I've got that double LP compilation, which is like cool, easy listening stuff. Yeah. And they had some funky like a shaft version on that. Do you remember we went through it? It's got some great stuff. Right. I'm going to so am I going to rate the price of this as one of them? They were both the same price, Paul. Are you looking for the one price for both or the both prices put together? Because if you say they're a quid each, right? I might. Do you want me to say two pounds or just one pound? Because that was the price of each one. One1 because that was the price of each one.

Can I say £1 then please? Because that was the price of each one. And was it the price? They were each £1. Well then I'm actually, oh good. It's the end of that game. You get no betwings. There's no betwings here. No, this is betwingless but not joyous. They were quid each which is perfectly good. They're in nice condition.

And I'm going to give this 3.5 out of 5 for it. Okay. You know, only because the selection of tracks in it, some of them are a bit like, I don't give a fuck, like El Bimbo. What are you going to give it? Uh, 3.5 out of 5 for it. Okay. You know, only because the selection of tracks in it, some of them are a bit like, I don't give a fuck, like El Bimbo. What are you gonna give it? Uh, 3. Fine, 3. Jeff Love, it's worth checking out the Terror album, definitely. The one with Jaws on and it's got Earthquake. It is worth giving them a cursory listen, just for curiosity's sake I think in some cases. But anyway, let's move on to my second item. Okay.

So what item is... No. Book. Book, book, book, book, book. It's the book then, Paul. Yeah. You're gonna hand me the book? Get the price off it. Before I give you the book, before I give you the book.

Oh. It's not really a book. Oh, you told me a bit about, you told me a bit about this. This is a theatre program for a live show that took place at the Princess Theatre in Torquay. When I went to that charity shop, what was it called? Creech? Whatever it was called?

Keach. Keach, yeah. They had a massive stack of programs from theatres that I'm presuming was donated by someone who was an avid theatregoer. Mason Earns Yeah. Well people collect them, don't they? Some of them can be quite pricey items of... Toby Perkins This is the most expensive thing that I bought. Mason Earns Yeah.

Toby Perkins Which I don't think is worth it, but as soon as I saw it, you know I had to get it. Mason Earns Why? Toby Perkins Because you're about to find out. Now, there are other things in there like Run For Your Wife and No Sex Please We're British, all those kind of plays. And then Michael Barrymore starring in something called Surviving Spike which is a story about Spike Milligan where I think Barrymore played Spike Milligan. Okay yeah that makes sense. Late 90s, early 2000s thing before the

incident. No but he he's still knocking about. He's doing odd jobs and apparently he's great at Fortnite he plays Fortnite a lot or something and people end up battling Mike Barrymore on fucking Fortnite. When I said he's great at Fortnite. He plays Fortnite a lot or something and people end up battling Barrymore on fucking Fortnite. When I said he's still knocking about him and he still walks the earth, he's still alive. Oh yeah sorry, yeah no he's still alive. As far as we know inside, dead since the early 2000s. And he can't do musicals anymore. You don't think he gets any offers for that kind of work anymore?

No, I think unfortunately for him his career is over. Right, Eli, when I saw this- I love Barrymore, whenever it comes up the same thing happens. Alright mate, alright. Eli, I think you'll understand why I got this when I hand it to you. Now. That's the back of it, I don't want to give it away. Oh, because this is an advert. Ignore the back. I'm going to turn it over right now. It's a pamphlet, it says program. The Bobby Davro Show.

Yeah baby! You love Bobby D Davro. I don't. That's why you wanted to get off Barrymore, because we're about to get on the Davro. Back on the Davro train. Woo. This is the Bobby Davro show. I didn't know he did a live one. I mean, he was such a hack. He was always at it. It's hard working. It's like Stuart Millard says in his video on his YouTube channel. It's surprising for a man with that much material and comedy shows behind him to have nothing of lasting value. He's got no famous sketch or original character.

It's just meme comedy basically before meme comedy was a thing. But wasn't he also sort of like the ladies of a certain age kind of found him attractive as well? Maybe, I don't give a fuck. That nice young man, that kind of thing. I've always thought in my opinion any person attracted to a guy who does other voices for a living, impressionists, has got a problem. Why? Because there's something about, because here's the other thing, that guy. You've got a real thing for impressionists, don't you?

I fucking hate them and one of my best friends has one. That's where the crutch of the matter comes in. Joe! Oh, yeah. You know. Hey-o! All his material. Anyway, the point is, there's just something I really hate about impressionists and I'm sorry. I just fucking hate them. And he's the worst of them I think. D'Avro was also a stand-up.

No. And singer. No. I mean he did those things. He wasn't good at them or wrote those material. Was he good at impersonating people's voices? I would say yes. I don't think inherently he was bad at being an impressionist. It was

just that the sketches, the material was what was shit. Because even if you look at someone who did impressions like, oh who was that guy who used to be on BBC One and he quit because he had stage fright? Mike Yarwood. Oh yes, Mike Yarwood. I didn't… Even he did original material. And like I think he did original sketches as well. It wasn't always impressions, right? Yeah, he was a reasonably big star. Did he come up with like Jasper Carra and Billy Connolly from that sort of scene?

I don't know if it's from that scene, but that era definitely. You see a lot of his seven inches knocking about, but did he quit the showbiz then? He couldn't handle it. He had stage fright. He hated being in front of the TV cameras. It crippled him and then caused a few drinking problems and stuff. Oh, that's a shame. Genuinely, because he was an amazing mimic. Didn't Davro... And Cassia act.

Right, better act. Largely. Oh, he's still around, isn't he? Sorry, I get confused with Freddie Starr. No, he does the real comedian kind of comedy. The Jim Davidson proper comedian sort of thing. Not afraid to say... Rather than say, my material was and continues to be shit and is past its sell by date and I admit that he goes no it's those people who were wrong and I'm going to carry on doing my awful shtick it's not that my shtick is old and shit no I just want to I've

spotted something I want to say I get into it because there's lots in there that I need to breeze through quickly I just want to have just a little thing it's that kind of comedian who says it's not that my materials hackney shit and offensive and I've outdated I'm outdated you're sort of suppressing my free your cancelling mill yeah and you're suppressing That kind of comedian who says, oh, it's not that my material's hackney shit and offensive. And I've outdated. I'm outdated. It's that you're sort of suppressing my free, your cancelling mill. Yeah. And you're suppressing my free speech. And like, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bobby.

Anti-woke sort of excuse. Maybe trying to do an impression of Ainsley Harriot isn't what you need to be doing. Oh, it's got a date on it, this. Yeah. 21st of, that someone's written in, 21st of August 1996. God, he was still doing his shtick in 96. I guess that makes sense, to be fair. He wasn't too out of the wilderness at that point.

The 90s, although we think of it as a totally separate sort of cultural entity to the 80s, was very like the 80s, especially the early part. In some ways, you could argue it was even more garish than the 80s at the time. It was brighter and more kind of obnoxious up front. Yeah, the early part was almost like hyper 80s, wasn't it? Well, the only way I could describe it is like the 80s were past brighter and more kind of obnoxious upfront. Mason- Yeah, at the early part was almost like hyper 80s. Paul- Well, the only way I can describe it is like the 80s were pastels and the 90s were like neon colours. Material was the same. The colour palette was different. Mason- I say that because I just saw the other day New Jack City at the BFI, which is from

1991, but has very 80s feel to a lot of it. Anyway, I just want to read a little bit of this because there's an ad on the first page of this Paul and then I'll hand it back over to you. Do try Torbay's loveliest in! For the best home cooked food served until midnight or just call in for drinks. Just call in. Just pop in. And then it lists what they sell. First one, man sized steaks. Like man sized Kleenex. First one, man-sized steaks. Like man-sized Kleenex. Oh, fuck's sake. Man-sized steaks.

Can I have a child-sized steak? Fresh fish, seafood, vegetarian dishes. Fine, alright, good. Homemade pies. Sounds great. Scrumptious. Scrump. Scrump.

Scrump's hotpots. Fresh salad platters, pastas. Overfilled jacket potatoes. Don't overfill. I wasn't going to go there until you mentioned that, but now I know that they overfill these potatoes. I'm all in. No one took a look at this and said maybe you don't want to say man-sized or overfilled. Giant mixed grills. Whoa! Whoa! Giant mixed grills. Sensational homemade sweets. The best and most sophisticated live music and dancing nightly. Yeah bollocks. It's Suzette and the Starlight Singers doing their ABBA covers again. Our friendly staff smile double exclamation mark. Open all days double exclamation mark.

We force them to smile by fucking knife points. We slap them around with man-sized steaks. And look it's got one of those really old six digit phone numbers. Call 55. Do try Torbay's, do try. I read that. I know, just do try. What did you want to point out from this? I want to get into the meat of it because in the middle. The man-sized meat of it. Oh hang on. Babakum's fish and chip shop. Babakum's Fish and Chip Shop. Babakums! Remind yourself what great fish and chips really taste like at Torquay's famous award-winning Dave Hansberry's Babakum's Fish and Chip Shop. That's a lot of clauses in that sentence.

Babakum pottery, Avago. Avago pottery, yeah. Right, so the sensational Bobby Davro by Artist management group, the most generic of artist management group names. Wow. Give it all your thought. So who's this then? And look, they've listed a bunch of better comedians like Rory Bremner and Harry Enfield. I guess did do mimicry, but it wasn't his major thing. Well, he had a wider gamut of skills. Yeah.

Honestly, one of the funniest of his whole generation, Harry Anfield, wouldn't you say? Yeah, and still remains. He does impressions. That is his main thing, his impressions. Well, at the start, he might have, but it was more character work. Stavros and loads of money at the start. People remember that, but they don't remember his spitting image work or anything like that. That's right. You're right. He was just an incredibly talented man.

Yeah. I mean, everyone knows that my favourite thing is Smashing 90s End of an Era show, one of the finest hour of comedy I think there's been. And there is a good quality copy available on YouTube now. Yeah, there is. The last one was missing a few minutes off the end. And also was in terrible resolution. Yeah. So anyway, here's a quick history of famous TV British comedians and stuff.

Bobby Davro. Bobby Davro made an impression at school. He was caught mimicking his headmaster. Christ. At 16, he started working as a training manager in a department store and was trying out his impressions such as John Inman on his staff member friends. Ooh, I'm free. Fuck off, Bobby. I'm free.

I'm just stuck in the shelves, Bobby. Fuck off. I'm free. Ooh, I'm free. Fuck off, Bobby. He made his TV debut in 81, live on In Majesties, and then went on to do a TV show, blah blah blah, lots of ITV stuff until 1992. Well he must have been popular and successful then.

Yes, but the metrics were completely different then. He just had to get 7 or 8 million viewers on a Saturday night, and that was fine because more people were watching TV then. But if you got 7 million views on your YouTube channel, you're fucking rolling in it. Yeah, but so did Little and Large, so did fucking Ross Abbott, and I would, no offence to them, I know tastes change. But there wasn't the best written material ever out there when there was other shows that I would say will have a higher quality at the same time, like Smell of Reeves and Morta came a little bit later, or A Bit of Fry and Laurie, or Not the Nine O'Clock News. Yes, because comedy changed, didn't it?

Yeah, and it's not I'm saying one against the other, I'm just saying they were broad and wildly popular. Davro sucks, Davro does suck. He devised a summer season show, which is what this is. He lives in Middlesex with his long-suffering wife Trudy. Are they still together? I'm guessing the answer's a huge fucking no to that. Sorry Trudy.

He had a kid and he's got a crazy dog called Oscar. He's also in the ground now. Bobby likes nothing better than a game of snooker, a spot of fishing and a nice glass of chardonnay in front of the TV. And then a secret bottle of vodka and cocaine. And then there's loads of other people. Vanier Meyer, Zeki J and Steve Rawlings. Do you recognise any of these people?

Absolutely none of them. They probably were just doing the straight man roles in his skits. And then it just goes on about, yeah, then that's it really. Although summer season, there was Joe Brown and the Brothers, Bobby Davro, Bradley Walsh and the Chuckle Brothers. Well, I'd go see the Chuckle Brothers live, wouldn't you? In their prime. And then in 1994, see the stars of the Black and White Minstrel Show.

I didn't know that was still a thing people were doing in the 90s. In Britain? That's insane! That's insane! They're still doing that then. You know what I would argue is actually what happens. None of them black up like they would, but they were the stars of those TV shows. Sang those songs, but I don't think they were actually blacked up. They used it for the advertising, but not the show. But still. And actually, as a little bit of an aside, I have performed at this theatre. Oh.

I did it when I did Psychic and Science. Oh really? Was it a nice house? Yeah. It's a lovely old theatre space in Torquay. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. So anyway, if you saw the Bobby D'Avro show in 96, tell me what you thought it was like.

I just find this very interesting. I don't know who that Steve Rawlings picture is, but he's done an impression or seems to be doing an impression of Phil Cool, who himself was an impressionist. Yes. Rubber faced. Yes. Do you hate Phil Cool as well? You know what? I remember enjoying Phil Cool more than Bobby D'Avro. I think there was something a bit more kind of cartoonish and caricature-ish to his impression. A little bit more edgy. Not in a bad way, but a little bit more tooth to it. There was a little bit more of adult, I think he was more like- Satire. A little bit of satire in it. I think there was more tooth to it. It was a little bit more of adult. I think he was satire, a little bit of satire in it. I think there was more edge to him.

Yes. Then Davro. I'm just fascinated by all these adverts for places in Devon. Uh, dance togs. Well, I'll tell you what, mate, let's do those adverts for some patron goodness and law them to us that way. Well, there you go. Bobby Davro.

What do you think? Uh, an interesting item, Paul. I'd give it a 3.5 maybe. I'm happy with you giving it that. And this was the most expensive thing you bought. Hey, yeah, sadly, a bit regretful. Was it a f.5 maybe. I'm happy with you giving it that. And this was the most expensive thing you bought, eh? Yeah, sadly. I'm a bit regretful. Was it a fiver? No.

Four pounds. Four pounds it was, yeah. So that's that. Wow. They are quite collectible probably because they're such ephemera. Yeah. They disappear. That's it. You know, ephemeral things do get value if they stay in shape. Anyway, if and when we finally get Stuart Millard on the show, he's having that, along with all the other fucking no-one-fucking-shit-I-have-got. Well, along with that single I bought Noel Adler shit I've got.

Well, along with that single I bought, Steve Davis is doing White Christmas. Is it in the chalky voice? I'm going to go ahead and sadly say yes. No, we're not going to. Your last one. OK, Paul, my last item to get was a toy, but I had not, I bought, of course, people remember the Spider Gwen car, which I quite like. Which we did feature in the podcast, yes.

Only 75p that, nice little thing. In the first shop we went into, the National Animal Welfare Trust. But at the end of the day, as people will know, they listen to the podcast, we were running out of time. All the charity shops in Watford were shutting down, all shutting down, it was getting dark and we had to go to Smith's. And luckily, the last thing that I hadn't got was toys. So that suited, because Smith's is a toy store. Yeah. And the last thing I got that I didn't get was a board game. So that worked as well.

And it was on sale. I can't believe how cheap you got the board game. Yeah. Crazy that it was cheaper than Bobby's. It was. Crazy. I know. For a new board game. Yeah. It's a small board game is it? Not really but it's a basic. I can understand why it was so cheap. Oh it's a generic. And it was down from a tenner originally. It's a generic kind of board game. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay it's a version of snakes and ladders or something like that. But we'll find out in a minute. I've got two of these. Alright. And they are both Hot Wheels cars. Oh I see now I know why the number eight came into this and not six.

What do you mean? Well, we meant to get six items and you said, actually eight part. Well, because we got two records and two of these Hot Wheels cars. Now, do I have to guess the price of these separately? I can't remember how much they were. You'll never guess the price exactly because they're weird. £3 for each, £1.49 each or something, £1.50 each. It was something like they came, both of them came together to £3.16 or something like that.

That's weird. 26. So they were £1.60 something each or something. Right, I think so, yeah. Well, let's have a look. Cheap. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheapap Shop, but a different colour jelly. Oh, oh yeah, one of our Cheap Shop videos, we did a jelly thing. And this one is a lemon jelly, and actually, I don't believe your one had a creamy top. It did have a creamy top.

No it didn't, I think it was just see-through. I mean, it doesn't matter, but this one's definitely got a creamy top. Mine was a lime jelly one. It's got a little orange print on the top as well, as if it's kind of like a citrusy kind of... It's a citrus one. ...creamy. I think that's exactly the same model Paul, honestly, but just with a different colour plastic. But I like this one more because it looks like someone's gush

is all over it. Do you want it? No. Oh. Just because I, look, you've seen my fucking room. Oh no, I'm going to have to put it somewhere now. Let me, can I open it? Oh, there's a little hot dog car in the background making a cameo. I've got that hot dog car. Yeah, you do, I know. But I like it. I do like it. I like the food ones and I particularly like toys that have see-through plastic bits. Same brother. Same brother. Yeah. Is that? I know I did the Hulk. Fucking hell. Moving on, moving on, moving on. Roll on. You just do like monsters. You love to do monsters. We know. But nice little thing. It's got a see-through little and you can see a little man in there. Which again I put to you, is he drowning in jelly or is it a hollow jelly? It's obviously a hollow

jelly. How does he get in? Does it blow on top? Yes. And then a man gushes on the ceiling? I think that's cream. Yeah that's what he said. Anyway there it is. Nice. And it works, it rolls along. All right. Very nice and that's from what line is that? Isn't it Funky Foods or something, it's called that. Fast Foodie. Yeah. Fast Foodie, cause it's fast cause it goes vroom vroom. And it's food, and the phrase fast food for keeping convenient food. Now, I like those food ones.

Yeah. Food based Hot Wheels toys, I'm well up for. Yeah. But there's one other line they do, do you remember? And this is one that I haven't seen before. Is it food based as well still? No, no. Cause there was that kind of cutlery kitcheny kind of thing.

And then there was like the van with the toast and the stuff on. Yeah, no. This is a whole different line and it's called Xperimotors. Oh that's right. Where they do little toy things, they do little weird things. That's right because the one I had gave to you was one of those and it had some kind of wing airfoil. It had a little thing and they had one that had a hook. I've still got the one that is a key ring a metal key ring and it's experiment motors but no I want to open it because that's the whole point have a look what is what do you think this one does what's it called md stash mostache mostache like a like a

is it a razor like no I think it's mostache as in it's a stash I think it's got a stash compartment in it I'm gonna open it and tell you because I think it means like mustache like you know mustache then it's maybe it's a mustache comb. Oh if it is that would be so cool. For you yeah. Let's see, let's see. Oh what could it be?

Form and function. So this is from the Experimotors line which is a really cool line. I just think that Hot Wheels have a really you know, innovative team working for them. True but think about it, they're basically trying to sell the same thing over and over and over again. So of course you're going to get permutations like this, where someone comes into work one day and goes, oh mate, what have you got for us? Uh, uh, cars that have made of mirrors. Paul? Fine, we've got to do it. I was right. Oh, it's not a comb, it's just a little tash. The tash comes out. Like a flick knife. And you just put it up and pretend

you've got a tash, but I actually have one. You do I actually have one you do you do it because I'll show yeah here we go I'll do a picture of that later yeah very good good day to you sir may I interest you in a box of with a beef uh pottery wow get it out well why don't I just go home? Well, you are home. That was quick. I like that. Right, so we know what the price is, don't have to guess that. But I'm going to give them both, for what they are, a solid three. Doesn't wow me, but that, you know what?

3.5. They're pretty good, aren't they? 3.5. What are you going to give it? 3.5. Fine. I like them. I like their cost, so it's like you can get a proper little toy for a quid,

basically a quid, half a two quid. And for a family on a budget, you've got kids who like toy cars, get as many as you like for that, can't you really? The thing is I don't like cars as things. I don't drive. That's the weird thing. So that's why I like these more unusual ones that look like food or have a little weird other toy aspect. Well, this is what they say, isn't it? Like design of cars has become a bit trite, like mobile phones all look the same now. But in the nineties, phones had a genuine

kind of identity and shape and form and they all had different looks. All the different brands. Cars can't all look the same these days. They really do. If you start thinking about it and looking at them, they're all the same fucking color. They're all gray, dark gray. Anyway, let's go on to my final game. Item. Choice. Paul, you were tasked with finding a board game and that you did most admirably, so let's see it. It's not a board game. It's not a board game. It's a toy. It's a game.

You failed. But it's this. Oh, it's Don't Buzz the Wire. We've never played that on the show. Le Toucher Pass Le Fil. Yeah. Wow, this is a real budget one, isn't it? They've got the French on as well as the English. They couldn't even make two different types of boxes for it. 350. That's very good. Down from just like

nine pounds something. Amazing price for this. Shall we get it out of here? Yeah. Everyone knows the don't buzz the wire game. It's a wire with a little handle with a coil around it and you've got to pass it over the thing without buzzing it and making contact with the wire. Simple. I think it needs batteries so we might need to take the double A's out of this. Batteries out of the sealer, yeah. It won't come with them will it? That was good that the sealer came with the batteries. Yeah I hadn't thought about that needing batteries to be fair. And it's on a sort of moonscape base it looks like. My fingers smell of dick again because of those crisps.

And the fact that I've touched you my dick. Those crisps don't smell of dick, they just smell bad. They don't really smell of dick. Sadly, my dicks now smell of those crisps. So I've fulfilled the prophecy. Here we go. Hello. It's got a moonscape base.

Oh fuck me. It's got a screwdriver. Oh I hate that. Oh I'm on. Hey. There we go. Hopefully it's a a screwdriver! Oh I hate that. Oh I'm on! Hey! There you go. Now hopefully it's a... yeah it's a Phillips head. You got the batteries out there?

I'm doing it now. I wonder why you'd need to do that on the moon and there's an alien on the side. Oh look! Do you know how cheap it is? One on the box, they show an illustration on the side of the base element of a... Yeah, sticker or something. But there isn't one on the real thing. Is there? Fuck. Fucking cunt. There's no sticker in there like I put on.

Is there a sticker in there you're meant to put in? Let's see. No. No there is. Oh, okay. There is the sticker. Alright. Well come on.

Put it on yourselves, big company toy. You know what I mean? Why, why should I have to add the sticker? I'd like to put the sticker on please. Alright, go on. I'm sticking it on so... Don't fuck the sticker. I'm not gonna fuck it. This is fun. Oh, almost did. Someone's fucked it with their cloppity horse hoof hands,

haven't they? Shut your mouth. Come on. Yeah, it's not too bad. Close enough. Right, I'm going to turn it on. Well, you need to put it on the... I'm going to put it on the table here. Okay. But how do you turn this fucking on? There you go. Yeah, there there we go all right where do you start let's start at this end ready yeah you're fucked one two three I'm doing it sloppy three oh here we go

four, every corner he's hitting oh we did manage that one five, six six you're shit at this seven I'm being impatient that's why I make a good podcast eight, nine nine You have it seven. I'm being impatient that's why I make a good podcast. Eight nine

Nine And it's Eli's go now he's starting at the top and it's a first it's an easy C shape for him to navigate at the top. One, two, three. He's twisted it. Four. Over the top. Got five, six, seven. Fuck this! He didn't even get halfway.

Let me try again. All right, he's doing it again. But here we go and begin right he's tipping it he's gonna twist on the surface caught that one he's got to get it past this next corner which is to the right angle he twists it he's coming up to a little bit of a difference at the top now he's gonna go up and over five you hit it twice then he had three before so it's five or I'll give you four then You definitely hit it twice at the bottom and then I'm not doing it. I hate those things

I've always hated those things every time they come up Who invented that shit fuck that? That's really fuck me off Oh shit, fuck that! Anyway... Oh that's really fucked me off! Anyway, that is the last item. Fuck this! That's the last item and it's pissed Eli off considerably.

Really shit, no, well done. I'll give it two. I'm not into it. I'd give it two as well. It's fine. Maybe we can repurpose it for a video or something one time, you know, and make it a challenge out of it. The price is good. Because I wouldn't pay a tenner for that. So I think a five is about right for a game that can stay in a kid's bedroom in the corner, isn't too loud and improves dexterity. It improves dexterity. And you know, you could add challenges to it. It's like the more you hit, the more

jelly beans you've got to eat or blah blah blah, challenges, you know? But I like eating jelly beans. But not the double dare ones that smell of eggs or whatever. You didn't specify. Well, we hadn't gotten that far in that conversation. I was just bringing it up. Well, you just said jelly beans. Yeah, but I was just bringing it up. You just said jelly beans. Yeah, but I thought it was inferred. So you meant normal jelly beans. It could be. You could eat the more you touch, the more jelly beans you've got to eat. Oh,

no, too many jelly beans. But then if you like jelly beans, you'd be like fucking the whole way. Yeah, true. Shove them in my mouth. Yeah. All right then. Maybe, all right, about this, you have a bowl of like 30 jelly beans, and with every touch I take one away so you have less jelly beans. Oh no, don't take my jelly beans away. I'll take them all the fucking way from you. Don't, I like those.

Snippy, snippy, snippy, take them away one by one. Snipping beans now? Yeah, I'm going to snip your bean. Mate, I'm going to go ahead and just say for the record that we are now like five hours into a recording day at Cheap Show and I think think we can all agree inspiration is on the way. Oh, it's on the way. Or Gary, whoever's around at the time. Billy is Billy is Philly is Gary and Barry and running around on a truck.

The Billy is Philly is Gannon and Barry. We don't have a look out of a book. Billy is Philly is Gannon and Gary. We're walking around in the park. So Billy is Philly is Gannon and Gannon. I hope it gets lost in the dark. So then it came back. Thank you, my man.

Thank you, my man. The bushes bushes the bushy bushes the man came out please please stop me for talking shit I can't he's getting all hot and bothered again both it is hot in here as well let's just stop the show the walls are closing in let's stop the show the walls are closing in anyway of all the items here today what was your favorite what was your favorite we had the two toy cars, the bad Davro book, the Crip Sealer, the Trinket log, the Party Record or the Zappy Game Zap Zap. What was your favourite? Well, I can't remember with that garbled list. Try to speak more clearly. My brain is literally coming apart. I'll just list I'll just list them, okay? Yeah. And then you pick your favourite. I'll list them correctly.

Like my brain is literally like foamy milk in a microwave that's been in there too long and it's gushing out the top of the cup. Okay, first we had the pottery piece. Pottery piece. The little deer sitting by a tree trunk and you could put potpourri or sweets into it. Yeah, fine. Then you had... I mean judging by this, scoring, that's the winner. The crisp sealing device. Yeah. fine. Then you had... I mean judging by this, scoring, that's the winner. The crisp ceiling device.

Yeah. Hmm. Made by Silvercrest. Yeah. Then you had a lemon jelly car and an experiment motor's mustache, fake mustache car. Yeah. Then you had the buzzy game and then you had... The Bobby Davro book.

The Bobby Davro program. It's a theatre program. Program. Talkie. Talkie. Happy Talkie. Talkie. How do you never do that for an advert? Come to Talkie. Happy Talkie. Talkie. Happy Talkie. Because it would be disrespectful to people. Come and see the black and white minstrel show. Then Bobby Davro's next. And Jim Didd-Davidson too. And you can all go and see the Faulty Towers house

Right, what was the best? I'm gonna say Bobby Dabrow book I wanna say that as well but I think I'm gonna go for You're gonna go with the cars Lemon Jelly car Oh the records, we didn't remember those You didn't remember them, I said them when I said them Okay, it's not a competition Paul Actually, no it literally actually is

No it's not today Yeah it is I've just decided who won, me That's the end of the show Yeah and this has been a tat hunt I think a reasonably good tat hunt this week as well No it's not today. Yeah it is. I've just decided who won. Me. That's the end of the show. Yeah and this has been a tat hunt. Tip for tat hunt. I think a reasonably good tat hunt this week as well.

Yeah we found some tat that's for sure. Nice variety. No the Davmo thing is the most interesting Paul. I mean there's more adverts to get into with slices of life. I like the ads. I'd like the man-sized steak. That won me over. Do try.

Right, okay, let's wrap this show up and say goodbye. Cheap Show is over but only for this week. Join us next week for more economy, comedy, fun. Basically, your one-stop shop for everything Cheap Show is thecheapshow.co.uk and that will send you to everywhere else in the universe we exist online. Also, we're supported by fantastic Patreon supporters, so if you'd like to join them and get access to podcasts and behind the scenes and videos and exclusive magazine content, go to patreon.com forward slash CheapShow and join and give what you can, but please

remember only if you can and if you can't. If you can't, do the next best thing and go to any of the podcast platforms that offer reviews and leave reviews and stars and all those kind of things because that helps us grow and more people to discover us. Or you could just tell your friends and family about us. Spread the word. Just by mouth, Paul. By mouth, orally.

Yeah, you could do that. You could. Just whatever you can do. Just speak us. Speak Cheap Show. Bring Cheap Show to those unlucky enough not to have discovered us yet. That's right. So go ahead and do that.

I have a music show. You do. It's on Soho go ahead and do that. I have a music show. You do? It's on Soho Radio every two weeks from two till four. The House of Pickle Sound Show. Gets that name because that's the name of my bedroom. It is. Which you know if you've listened to it for any amount of time. I know.

Also, I did want to say as well thank you to Tony for last week's art for the weed episode. The 420 episode. Yeah, we had a lot of interesting feedback about that because I think a lot of people expect us to be we're stoned and talking shit, but actually no, we were kind of going into our history with it. Because little secret, we're always stoned. Always stoned. But not actually right now. Especially you. Not right now. I'm not. No, that's what if you smoke it every day, you don't get stoned. No, I know. So that's why we've moved on to uh, uh, heroin. Heroin. We're not really on heroin. No. Or painkillers of any sort. Goodbye everyone.

What was I about to say something? Oh yeah, we do. Anyway, the feedback we got was really interesting. I think a lot of people were like, oh, your honesty was quite refreshing. So, you know, I hope you enjoyed last week's experimental episode. The artwork from Tony was excellent. Yeah, I wanted to say thank you for Tony for that. And yeah, we've got a few things coming up. We have a live show at the Cheerful Earful coming up. We're going to announce that soon. Patrons will get very early tickets.

I know I'm hot as well. I'm fucking mentally burnt out from today. I'm having a headache. We're also putting a vinyl album together for episode 450. News on that coming soon. Noiseland's going to collaborate with us on that. And we have a few special episodes coming up over the year. So lots to do in 2025 for Cheap Show. You look how

I feel and I probably feel how you look. So let's wrap this up. Final thoughts? Goodbye everyone. Thanks very much for listening. I'm Eli Silverman. And I'm Paul Gannon and thank you for listening at more. He's a terrible person. I am a terrible person but remember, it's the character of Paul Gannon in this Cheap Show. The real Paul Gannon, as you well know. Is even worse. Is even fucking worse. I am a terrible person, but remember, it's the character of poor Ganon in this YouTube show. The real poor Ganon, as you well know, is even worse. Is even fucking worse.

Press the fucking button.