CheapShow - Ep 426: Donna Egg & The Bad Boys

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

After last week’s epic walkabout/Gannon’s Golden Games hybrid episode, it’s time to calm things down again. What this episode doesn’t need is violent meltdowns, stupid new characters, an appalling improvised song and useless conversational tangents… Sadly that’s exactly what you can expect in this week’s edition of the economy comedy podcast. It’s a simple enough set up with snacks, drinks and a Price of Shite from the PO Box. Over the course of the hour, Paul and Eli will drink milky booze, Minecraft Doritos, stare at arses, improvise songs over small electronic fidget toy music and muse over some new noodles. It’s good comfort food podcasting at CheapShow HQ and with the added bonus of introducing the world to Donna Eggs, who’ll solve ALL our problems! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-426-donna-egg-the-bad-boys And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello, Paul. Hello, Eli. Cheap Show to the mother of all things. Welcome to Cheap Show to the mother of all things. It's the voice of shape. Cheap Show to the mother of all things. Welcome to Cheap Show. Unfinished business from last week's episode.

Here we go straight into it. Welcome to Cheap Show. I've, I've, I just thought of a joke. Yes. unfinished business from last week's episode. Here we go. Straight into it. Welcome to Cheap Show. I've uh I've I just thought of a joke. Yes. I wanted it to be included in last week's episode which overran was a bit

too long and no. Yeah. If you just put yourself back in the mind frame of last week's episode. Yeah. Yeah. I'm there. I'm there. Don't shunk. Don't shunk. Don't shunk't shunk. I will don't get the chunk of Chunker or chunker anytime. I fucking well like all right my show my rules Is it your rules or was it more like my show I dissemble? Anyway, put yourself

Like that do not look at me like that You fucking vacuous you weird You've got the weird... weird look. Hehehehehehe! Shut up! Right! Stop looking at me like that. Put yourself back in the mindset of last week. Shoop! I'm there! No noise effect needed.

This is where you and I differ on stuff. Quite a lot of stuff. I'm walking in Norwich. I'm walking with my feet on London Street. Norwich Street. No, it's London Street we were walking on with all those shops. Oh, London Street, yeah. You twat. You interruptive, a greed just can't. Interruptive? Interruptive. Come on, where's your fucking finished story, your unfinished business? That's it. What? Doing the song of walking in error. Oh my lord. Come on. Listen, I'll tell you this, a little bit of backstory. That was it everyone. Before I got here, I went to B&Q to get some stuff for the garden and it took me a while, but eventually I did find something I needed. It was trial and error. Before I got it, trial

and error. Yeah. Good, very good. Anyway, I decided I'd nick it, right? And I slipped it out, but I got caught by the roses. And then you had to go to trowel. I had to go to trowel. But don't worry, don't worry. I don't mind going through the hardship of it. Some might say it's trowel by fire. Thank you very much.

That's my trowel material this week on Cheap Show. We should let you know that I have a trowel under my bed. This is an actual trowel. What for? I was going to gift it to my step-mum. Happy birthday, here's a trowel. Fucking me! They like a bit of gardening, they do.

They have an allotment and everything, so I thought... It's in case it's like she gets a bit wet and she can trowel off or something. I don't know why that's such a rich seam of punnery for you. Oh God! What digs up the garden and goes, ooh hoo! A trowel. That's good. Now that's good. You're reaching good now. Oh thank you! Talk about chutney, Al. Let's have the have the trout. We have fun. I'm trying to desperately think of another garden implement bird pun now. Well, if it comes to you, just put your hand up and we'll drop it in the show. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the Economy Comedy Podcast.

Eli and I go through charity shops, powerlands, bargains of Great Britain and look for the treasure amongst the trash. Hand up. Yes, you. A watering toucan. Okay. Bird! Bird! Gardening tool! No, I'm fine, yeah, no, I'll walk for it.

I know, it's not as fucking wildly creative as the trowel. No, no, no, it was just because there was less set up, it was just dropped in there, it was hard to react. Well, that's what I was trying to think of. No, it's good. Watering toucan. Yeah, no, it's good. That's a bird of toucan, remember?

Yeah. And the Guinness adds the toucans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They hang out by the watering hose. Hole. No, that That's a bird, a toucan, you remember? And the Guinness ad, the toucans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hang out by the watering hose hole. No, that's not a bird. It is. A hoe is a bird? Yeah. Watch your mouth.

Damn right. Right, let's get into this. What are we doing today? Yeah, what are we doing today? Sorry. What, formally I'll say. Yes. What we've got coming up on the show today? Well, big gob, we have got on the show today a PO box item that has been sent to us full of goodies that we'll explore. However, I want to pull the bandaid off on something right now. We have people mentioning it online and we're going to do it

right now. Doritos have decided to crash in with Minecraft and do a team up thing, limited edition movie pack because of course there's a movie coming out of Minecraft, which looks, if you don't mind me saying so, like utter dog shit. Is it going to be, what's the conceit that someone goes into the work? What do you think it is? What do you think the conceit is? Someone said, here's Minecraft.

Has it got the rock in it for one? No, but close. Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa. And Jack Black. And Jack Black. So it's very much a Jumanji sort of vibe. It's very much a bunch of actors stand in front of a green screen and pretend things are around them for 90 minutes film. Yes, but what's the sort of

conceit? Is it that they get sucked into? Yes, into Minecraft world. Oh fuck. And Jack Black's there bit of ever. That's the lowest. It's Jumanji. It's Jumanji. And it's not even the good Jumanji with Robin Williams, it's the rules of the other Jumanji. It's Jumanji. And it's not even the good Jumanji with Robin Williams, it's the rules of the other Jumanji with The Rock and Jack Black. Yeah, they've all got Jack Black. So, yes, I'm not particularly excited by that either. No. But I am looking forward to the Backroom's movie coming out on A24 at some point.

Good. Anyway... Which is also something that is... No one cares, and no one cares about that. We just get... They want us to eat this. They don't want to hear your dribbling thoughts on a movie that they won't probably have any real input or need to want to go see. So... What? They don't want to go see the Minecraft movie either?

No, but we're not talking about the Minecraft movie. Well, you just did talk about the Climb Path poofy for fucking three minutes. I didn't. You asked me what it was about and I asked you to guess. And you didn't tell me. I'm unsatisfied You asked me what it was about and I asked you to guess. And you didn't tell me. I'm unsatisfied. I did. I told you it was Jumanji. I need more of a... More of a chunky pull to smack...

Smack in the face. Fuck you. The only thing we're talking about is... I'm not eating those crisps. Good. I'll do it right now. So there are two flavors. I couldn't get the other one, which is barbecue,

but it's Doritos. That's less exciting, isn't it? Yes. But this one is weird. This is called... Well, it's based after a character the creeper which is the green thing. Is that something baddie in the game probably? It's like a zombie character. Would you say Paul that Minecraft is perhaps the largest game franchise

on the planet? No isn't it that Roblox is the biggest one? Roblox is bigger yeah. I don't know it's up there it's a big one. Yeah it's a big one. So you can't really blame them for trying to make a film out of it. No, of course not. It just doesn't mean it won't be good. It won't be good, will it? Right, Creeper, vinegar flavoured corn chips. Why vinegar flavour? Why not salt and vinegar?

Why is it vinegar flavoured? What does that mean? What does that mean? It means it tastes of vinegar, which to me doesn't sound like it's particularly alluring. And also, I would say I've never heard of a vinegar flavoured crisp before. I mean there's a corn chip so it's slightly different, but have you ever heard of anything that's just vinegar flavoured? I mean… It always comes with salt.

Yeah. Salt is always in that equation. It is my thought. Someone went, well you know salt and vinegar, right? You can have just salt, but no one's ever done just vinegar! Maybe. And so the board room went oh, yeah, maybe they did but it's to do with the character being bad and vinegar being sour They trying to theme it that way. It says this is stealthy explosive and surprises like a zingy vinegar blast, right? He's fingering the air everyone just to explain as thinking you a zingary... Oh he's fingering the air everyone, just to explain. Fingin' your zingary vinegar.

Vinegar fingery blast. Salt and fin- vinegar, yeah? Salt and fingera. Hey! Let's do some porn films based on walkers. Salt and fingera. Bumba- Bumba cum. Cue flavour. Bumba- Bumba-

Bumba cum. Bumba cum flavour. Bumba cum flavour. Q flavor, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, yeah, we have Hancock, but moving on from all that, you could do... Crispy sock! Crab sticks! Oh, God. Open these crisps! Just a film called Crab Sticks! I think, uh, watering Toucan didn't get enough, really. Right, fuck me, nine minutes. Let's eat these and move on. Limited edition movie pack vinegar crisps. Shuffle and half.

Shuffle and half, please, Paul. I spotted these, uh, round the corner from me in Tesco. He's got... He's done a half half and what? It's a stringent. Yeah, it's all vinegar. Yeah, which is a stringentness, yeah? Yeah. Is it very vinegary or does it smell like a packet of salt and vinegar?

It smells like a packet of pickled onion. Yeah. I'm gonna try and regushifalate. Yeah. I'm regushifalating. I did get a whiff coming off the open pack as it was handed over. Regushifalate. Thank you, Paul, for coining handed over. Rejocelate. Thank you Paul for coining

that term. Rejocelation. I'm going to try and rejuvarate with a rejocelate. Jocelation is what you need. Yeah, very just a vinegar smell basically. Just a vinegar. Which is what they say on the pack so I mean, you know. But you know, pickled onion as well, notes of pickled onion crisps. Oh yeah, absolutely, it is almost exactly the same, you're right. But then there's no other oniony funk. The onion funk ain't coming through. It ain't. It's just the top note of the vinegar. I am getting a lot of corn as well on the nose. You might want to wash that off. I'm getting corn on the nose. It's because I rim out fucking polar bears. Right, can we get on with this? I rim-cup polar bears. I'm just going to eat

this. Do you want to know how polar bears get sweet corn in their poop? Come on. They eat it. They go to Mexican restaurants. Unbelievably poor. No, they go to Mexican restaurants. It's an amusing... Can you imagine? Unbelievably poor materials. Now, you are going to love this next bit, right? Imagine a pair of polar bears.

You're too close. Oh, fuck's sake. It's just you're shouting and then you get your mouth right around the knob of polar bears. You're too close. Oh fuck's sake. It's just you're shouting and then you get your mouth right round the knob of the mic. A pair of polar bears in sombreros eating street corn. Good. No, nothing. Nothing. I'm gonna eat this. It does exactly what it says. It is literally just a vinegar flavoured corn chip, which I've never had before. No, I don't think I'm not all that impressed.

I just don't understand why it has to exist. No, I'm not impressed. Why? What's your problem with it? You know what it tastes like? Chipsticks. Don't chipsticks do salt and vinegar and it's basically that flavor. Yeah. Fine, but I don't want that. That's what I mean. It's fine. There's nothing to get all up in arms about.

They've done exactly what it is. Yeah. That's how you'd imagine. I don't know if the corn and the vinegar goes well together. Not really. That sort of flavours, you know. You need something lighter, like that maize snack texture of a chip stick where it can kind of melt away. Which is corn as well. So it does work in that context, I guess. In that context. I don't think they're that bad. Let's have a score from you Paul, please. Oh, I'm going to give it... It's not offensive. It's just not for me. It's not. Three out of five. I think that's what it deserves, honestly.

But it is just what's the point. And also you think, you know what the point is Paul? It's to do the collab. And it's not going to go anywhere. But this is the state of the world we're in. This post-modern era of flavours where you do a one-off limited edition. It's not even, it's just for the sake of itself. It's not even to be going forward to make a new flavour.

You know what I mean? It used to be like, oh maybe this flavour will catch on and it'll be a new whole flavour. But no. That's not even designed for that. That's just a limited edition, blah blah. Although Walkers, Walkers have just re-released Worcester sauce flavour. Banging! Oh fuck me, Jesus.

So we might all come across that soon. In our case, possibly literally too. Oh I love that stuff. And as ever. And Hendo's. Yeah, and as ever, we'll review it here. It will be Trowel by Media for the sake of those crisps. Thank you very much.

I've been Paul Gareth. That's been my five minutes. I hope to see you soon on New Faces 1984. I don't know what you're on about. You're losing it. I'm doing the podcast by myself this week. Think of a fucking pun. Er... To do with a bird. To do with a bird? Okay'm doing the podcast by myself this week. Think of a fucking pun.

To do with a bird. To do with a bird? Okay. Like the trowel. You peaked way too soon with the trowel. Yeah. Didn't you? You fucking did today. Yeah. The whole thing that you just said. I went to this mixed sex shop and pet shop. Mixed? Oh, it was a fusion sex shop, pet shop was it? Yeah. When I was in there I got a cockatoo. Not your joke. That's a fucking Jimmy Tarbuck joke or something. That's Jimmy Tarbuck as well. Press the button, come on let's move on. I just gave up on the fingers. Right. Because I can't aim with my fingers. What? You can smell the vinegar on them? I can't smell my vinegar fingers. The vinegar finger? My spicy, vice-ty, size-ty, nice vinegar finger. The vinegar finger is a very,

stingy vinegar finger is when you... Enough of you. Right. If you finger someone with thrush and you've got an open wound. PO box came. Anyone? With lettering and items and it says, hello Cheap cheap show boys this is the first time me sending anything to you so i hope you enjoy it oh thank you whoever you are well i'll tell you right now his name is ollie and he put a little smiley face next to it so hello ollie thank you very much for writing in and sending this stuff right i have provided a price of shite featuring items from a glasgow charity shop all gl Glasgow nice. All the way up there?

Aye. Down there? One is from Vinted, which I believe is an online thing, right? Vinted, yeah I know that name for some reason. Online clothes and apparel I think. Is it online second hand stuff? Yeah. An online second hand store.

I think even Sue's mentioned she goes on Vinted for stuff. Oh where she gets Versace dresses and so forth. I've also sent some noodles, crisps, and a drink from a selection of Asian food stores here, as we have quite a few good ones. I bagged the drink in case it exploded. Ha ha ha, and it is the tins in a bag. I hope one day to see you guys.

I did have tickets for 300, but I wasn't able to attend. Oh, Ollie, that's a shame. Well, hold on to your knickersickers because at the end of this week's episode we're going to be announcing our new live show in October and this a cheerful year for one we'll also have possibly two very high profile guests as well. Oh! Nudge Nudge, yes, so that's exciting. I hadn't, have you talked to me about this? No. Oh okay. Only happened over the weekend. Oh right, I see. I'm just as much as... But I can't confirm their appearance because they don't know if they're going to be on tour

or whatever, so they're going to get back to me about dates soon. So there you go. That's exciting, so stay around for the rest end of the show and I'll give you some more details. Anyway, yes, but he met us at a Barshans meetup in 2018. Oh yeah, remember that one at the old YouTube studio? We had everyone come round and we did a Q&A. And the Barshens thing, right, yes. Right, so, on to letter part two. Thanks, Ollie. No, wait there. Drink.

No, no, no, they're noodles. He's given three. We won't eat them now, but Eli, give us your opinions. Give a little breakdown, yeah? Here's number one he gave us. I don't know if we've done these before, by the way. This is a Samyang Buldak kimchi flavor. Yeah. We haven't done that.

Have we? But they are great, yeah. Bulldak is obviously the three times spicy, the hot chicken ramen flavour, which has dominated the whole world of instant noodles in recent years. They've got crisps, you can buy the sauce in the bottles, anything, all sorts of t-shirts, anything you like. T-shirts as well, you say?

The Carbonara one was the latest one we actually tried, I believe, which was very good. That was very good. And I've had independently treated myself to one or two of those as well. Because it's fucking hot, but it's got that cheesy, it's just a delicious noodle. And it's a top noodle worldwide. This is the Kimchi flavor. It's a Korean brand, so Kimchi is very much on brand for them.

Next one. Oh, this is probably the least popular of the Buldak. I thought I had them too, you act like an antique road show expert. Ah, yes, this is one from the bulldogs. I had them to you, you are like an antiques road show expert. Ah yes, this is ones from the 1980s I see. Now this one I have tried, it's Harmanero. Continue to not let me finish my sentences and my comedy ideas which you could then build upon. We could turn it into a comedy routine. By all means you go ahead and do your own thing. Continue. So where did you come across this item? No no no no no, no, no. What?

I'm playing! A train toot toot! Toot toot! Don't grab your cock of balls and scream toot toot. You've been fingering the air fanny. Yeah, that's fine. Air fannies for fingering. The air fanny's for fingering, would you say?

Yes! Right. Look, I'm doing it now. There, right there. I'm surrounded by air fanny, mate. I'm drowning in air fanny. I'm literally gagging on air fanny right there. I'm surrounded by air fanny, mate. You're drowning in air fanny. I'm literally gagging on air fanny right now. Can I describe the noodle? This is what Ollie wants, right?

Yeah, no, that's fine. And what I'll do is I'll also let you finish your sentence. I'm sorry. I just got excited. I look at a noodle. Come on. I'm not thinking, oh, boring. I'm thinking, oh, I want express. I know you do. All you do is express. Come on. This other one is a habanero lime bulldack Samyang. We've not had that either. We have had that one.

This one? Yes. It says new on it though, so. It's not. And also the colouring makes it look like it's a packet of Freddo's. Look, he's got a sombrero on because that is the lime and Habanero is a very Mexican coded. Do you not disagree that that looks like a packet of Freddo's? It's got the same kind of weird Cadbury's colour packaging.

The purple metallic purple. Yeah it's weird. Yeah but sombrero's come up again Paul because I had those polar bears who I've rimmed and if you remember got lots of- I don't remember the rim. Pooed corn on my nose. Pooed corn on your nose. After they'd been to a Mexican restaurant.

Done a big scat on your face. Yeah they didn't know they'd just been to the loo before- You buried your face in it. Is that what you do? Yeah basically. Oh I Basically. That's how I got corn on my nose. That's not a particularly good noodle. I find it, it's a bit strange that flavour with, because all of these. The weird thing is with these Buldak ones is they're all essentially the same base flavour, which is that Buldak sauce, the hot chicken ramen sauce, really spicy. But then they put other flavors with it.

You see, they're all sort of these weird fusions. I call it the desperado complex. That's right. That's what it's like. There's your base desperado. It's fine for what it is. Don't ruin it by fucking putting pina colada all over. Although the cheese one is great and the fucking carbonara one is great. Right, last one. This is Samyang. Now, I picked these up, both flavors of these the other day. This is Samyang again, but this is a Samyang. Now I picked these up both flavors of these the other day.

Oh. This is Samyang again but this is their new thing and it's basically a fettuccine or linguine a ribbon noodle in an Italian. These are a new range from them which are basically Korean Italian fusion noodles. I'm very excited to try this. Very exciting. At some point we need to do a noodle episode again and we should give these all a go. We really should try these though because these, I think these could be big. I mean they're probably the most powerful noodle manufacturer on the planet. Samyang now because of the Buldak, the runaway success of the Buldak. Range, this is their new range, Tangle. Very western isn't it? Well that's the point it's a fusion of Italian with Korean. So look you see Bulgogi Alfredo. I met him. I met him. Bulgogi Alfredo. Hey

I'm Bulgogi Alfredo whatever he said. Bulgogi Alfredo. Alfredo I'm Bulgogi Alfredo. Can I just finish saying this please? So Bulgogi is a beef dish, Korean beef dish. Now Alfredo's obviously a pasta dish. Do you see what I mean? So it's a, the other one, I'm very excited to try those. Great selection. And you know what, Ollie? I'm just going to eat those bulldak noodles for myself. Thank you very much. Might have one later. And this is the drink Ollie sent, is it? Yeah, so I'm just translating it right now. It's called tipsy. Oh, is it booze?

No, I don't know. Oh no, it is. It's 3%. Yeah, it's boozy. But is it milky? It's called tipsy. Oh, is it booze? No, I don't know. Oh no, it is, it's 3%. Yeah, it's boozy. But is it milky? It's milky boozy. Hang on. This is boozy. It says tipsy, pickled sour. Hehehehe!

What is it? Oh, it says on the side, does it? Yeah. Pickled sour. No, that's all it says. Yeah, it's a pickled sour boozy thing. It's not milky. What did she... Why does it look like a milky? Does it not on the bottom? Oh, you know what that looks like. It's like a Yakult. Yakult, cool. So Yakult. Maybe it's sort of... Yeah, that's the sour.

Because Yakult is slightly... is the probiotic bacteria sour. So maybe it's like a boozy Yakult. Weird. I've never had boozy yoghurt. I will taste it. Oh, I'm going to taste it. No, Yakult isn't yoghurt. No, I know, but you know what I mean? In the realm, it's a live culture product, but it's not, it's a milk, sort of milk extract,

I think, Yakult. Okay, hang on. Did you ever go through a period where you just like to neck a Yakult every now and then? I still do every now and then. I don't think they make it though, do they? There's something similar. They do make it. They do make it.

I just drink the pickle water out of pickles now. It's good for you. It says, new, gentle, sweet, rare. That's it. Right, good. Let's see. We'll see. We'll be the judge of that, thank you. Right, sweet, rare. That's it. Right, good. Let's see. We'll see. We'll be the judge of that.

Thank you. All right. Here we go. I don't know whether to shake it or not. Probably not. Just give it a turn. I'm giving it a 360. Just so any sediment, you know, do you know what I mean?

Yeah. But not to shake it because it might be, is it carbonated? A little bit. Have a sniff on that snaffle. It's a sour smell. Yeah. I'll just pour it out and you can sniff it in the can. Well, I'd like to sniff the can. Oh, that's definitely like, looks like Yakult. It's exactly the same sort of cloudy, slightly yellow, cloudy.

It looks like ginger ale. Oh yeah. It's like a milk product. It's like clarified milk. It's like that, but it's also got like this kind of barocca thing going on as well. Oh yes, it does. You're right. A kind of vitamin, a kind of vitamin E. Not vitamin E, I don't know which one it is, it might be vitamin D. A vitamin-esque sub note. Oh I love that smell. It's interesting. It's sweet. But it does almost smell, I mean it's alcoholic as well, but it smells like a hangover cure, like an Alka-Seltzer thing.

And it does, it has a sort of almost like a candy fruit, artificial fruit note. Do you know what I'm getting at? A sort of bubblegummy sort of note. But like a tang, a titch, a titchily tang of like Philadelphia cheese. And there's a cheese, yeah. Yeah. Right. Oh, having all the cheesy drinks these days, aren't we? I don't want to get pissed.

I don't think we will off this. It's only 3%. It's 3%. It's sweet, vitamin E. That's a strange thing that I kind of like. Yeah, I like it. Eww, it's got bits in. Has it really? Yeah, little bits. That's a strange thing that I kind of like. Yeah, I like it. It's got bits. Has it really? Yeah, little bits. Bits of what? I don't know. I don't know what the bits

are. I quite like the taste. Very sweet. It's not fizzy. Can't taste the booze in that at all. Can you? It's almost lychee-like. Yeah, a little bit. That's what I mean about there's a fruit. It's sweet. It's not really overly sweet. No. And there's a little bit of that's what I mean about it, there's a fruit, it's sweet, it's not really overly sweet, no, and there's a little bit of a tang on the back, like a little bit of acid tang, you know, it's quite nicely balanced, it's just not, it's quite unusual, it doesn't taste like a soda, it tastes more medicinal, it does taste like a yakult, a sweeter yakult, yeah, but more as if filtered through a kind of soft drink element. Yeah, yeah. Because it has got like an Orangina feel to it.

As well. Is that just the bit? No, I'm talking, well, it's also got that very light effervescence that seems to like just be in it. It's quite pleasing the effervescence level, isn't it? I'm surprised I'm actually drinking this. It's quite nice. Yeah.

It's not really milky. It hasn't got that sort of creamy. No, it's more cream-sodary. Yes. Isn't it? I actually come to think of it now. That's a good idea. Definitely, it's analogous to a cream soda. I actually quite like that. Yeah, well, there's more cream soda-y. Yes. Isn't it? I actually come to think of it now. That's a good idea. Definitely it's analogous to a cream soda. I actually quite like that.

Yeah, well there's more in the can. Do you want to share the rest of it? Yeah, let's share the rest of it. Right, we'll see you in a bit. We're just going to share the rest of this. Good old friends. There you go. Aww, see Paul and Eli do love each other. Thanks Oli. That's nice stuff. Yeah, lovely stuff. Right, we'll see you after this sound effect. Which one do you want?

I'll let you pick. Oh god, you always say this and I always say the same thing. I don't know, I need a list beforehand of all the sound effects. Look, I don't want to start another fight here. We've got a spinning coin, we've got a cash register. Oh, I like that. Come on, whatever's easiest. We've got coins in a slot, we've got coins in a pocket.

I got coins in a slot last night, you know what I mean? In that I put my... I will fucking punch you in the groin if you grab it one more time I'm not grabbing it you are don't pull back the curtain putting the whole nubbinsworth in the palm of your hand and give it a full grow I got the whole nubbinsworth in my hand I got the whole nubbinsworth in my hand, my cock is in my hand. There we go. Press the shit.

That's so treacherous all the time though. It's like you thought you were so tropey and yet nearly every single fucking time. Oh and this is my own trope. That was my own trope. Squeeze it out. Yeah, I have to air this room out. Press that shit. Would you like to give us the Price of Shite theme please Mr Silverman?

Oh it's the fucking price of shite, it's the fucking price of shite, it's the fucking price of shite, oh it's the fucking price of shite. He dead right. Little little knobbing hound. Little little. He dead right. Little little nubbing hound. He's dead right. Does he shuffle on it? Shuffle on to the microphone.

He's dead right. Yeah I think we should go with that at least again. Alright well you go back in your box right. Back in your box now let's electric. That's all he says. Anyway right. Price of shite. It's getting dark in here. Oh I've had too much of that tipsy. I'm breaking out in a sweat mate. Price of shite. Okay. It's getting dark in here. Oh, I've had too much of that tipsy. I'm breaking out in the sweat mate.

A little bit weirdly woo. Price of shite. All of these items. Okay, so price of shite is a game where we or you give us items you got in a charity shop and we have to guess the prices. That's not, that's not, that's not essential. All that stuff you just said, that's not essential to the game. Shall I try? No. I'll give it a go. Come on, that wasn't good. It price guessing game based on items They go. They go. That's not what you said You said you or we buy or Matt do not buy I take a chance. I or they buy anyone It doesn't buy. Oh, I fine. What hill would you like to die on this week? I'd like to die on Shrewsbury Come on my chips smell fresh! It's like a fucking grunty basic instinct. Grunty basic instinct.

Alright, sorry mate. You're just jealous you didn't come up with watering too, can. We guess the prices. If we get the price, bang on. Why? We're going to get two betwings. What are betwings, Mr Silverman? They equal points in this game of ours. Yes, and if you get it spot on, you'll get two of them. However, if you're close but no cigar, 25p either side of the correct price, higher or lower, why, we'll give you a one between. That's only one between. It's only fair.

It's only one between, but it's a point nonetheless. And yet there is an extra flex in that. Are we playing the Queen's Gambit? Yes. The Queen's Gambit rather. It is common in this game that an item will be a one pound. A one pound. And if you think you're confident that an item will be a £1. A £1!

And if you think you're confident that that item is a £1 item, you can play what we like to call the Quids Gambit. If you're correct, you'll get two Pertwings. Two extra Pertwings. Two extra, that's four Pertwings on top of the two you get right. Yes. Is that right? Yeah.

So you get two Pertwings being spot on for a Quid, and because you said that's the Queen's Quid Gambit. It's a big role the dice but has Oli specified any rules vis a vis the quids gambit or any other of the slight modification rules that sometimes creep into the game Paul let's have a little look right now the men okay so he's going into some of the games where they came from but you won't go into right now okay basically he says he got them all from a charity shop in Glasgow apart from the pin badges spoilers which are from vint says he got them all from a charity shop in Glasgow apart from the Pym Badgers spoilers, which are from Vinted. He got one thing from the Cancer Research, one thing from Marie Curie and the Cancer Research shops.

They're the shops he went to. OK. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. The Pym Badgers, which we'll find out were a job lot. So it's one price for all of them. OK. And everything combined was between and this is quite a... It's a window. It's a big window. Admit it's a window. It's a and this is quite a... It's a window.

It's a big window. Admit it's a window now. It's a big window. Will you admit it's a window? More the gate, isn't it? A big swinging gate. You can call it what you like but it's a window and not a ceiling which is the problem we had with your fucking nomenclature last time. No, you get the ceiling confused with roof and then we fall out over that. Anyway, we can both agree it's a window or gate. Well this is is a window of between £7 and £17. Oh, that's a very wide window. That's one of those big windows that stretch all the way from the floor to the top and it's got a swimming pool outside.

Yeah, like a nice hotel or something, isn't it? Big window. With an infinity pool. Well, if it's a posh, but I'd probably stay in somewhere a bit more downmarket. The price of shiteite prices are on this piece of paper. He's got it there. I'm gonna put it in the trolley. He's put it in the miniature shopping trolley everybody.

Where we presume it will be safe from harm. Yes. Right, first place him. Because I don't know where fucking Poindexter's gone. No. He's all used up. Oh god. What?

Come on. Poor Poindexter. Yeah, but you know. He lived the life of infamy. He's gonna release a book in about five years time with like, My Life as Eli's Cum Rag. Come on, let's see the first item. Yeah, so a collection of pin badges.

I've actually not looked through these yet. I want to be surprised. Let's have a look through them then. Right, so, okay. How many are there in fact? There's quite a few. Oh, let's see then. Oh, all came as a job lot.

Yeah. Oh, they look vintage. I can see from the the timbre of the colors. I'll just very quickly rattle off what they look like. There is a tiny little they're all enamel pin badges. There's a tiny Santa. I'll pass them to you in a second. Sure. There is a British looks like union

going in like a national, what's that say? Skating thing. Flag pin. A Welsh flag pin. A little black cat with. Oh, it's a manx cat. So it's a man flag pin. A Welsh flag pin, a little black cat with, oh it's a Manx cat, so it's a Manx pin. Oh, Manx as in what, the island in the middle of the Irish sea? Yeah, there is a heart shaped one which I think is the entertainers club of Great Britain or whatever. Oh nice, that's nice isn't it? There's, I don't know what that is, a dangly one with stars and shit on it. I like dangly ones, I'm well into dangly ones, I've got a noodle one with the chopsticks dangling off it. I like a dangly pin badge. I think this is a European flag or maybe

a kind of... Well I'll be double checking these. And then finally, I would love this one but I think I've already got it, but this is the National Cycling Proficiency Test Triangular badge. I need that in my life. I think I've got one of those, you can have that. But yeah, give me your review of those one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight badges. Okay, the dangly one is very much like a military badge. It says something on it like Lucerne. I think that is. Can you spell that for me and I'll type it in.

Yeah, it's somewhere in France, isn't it? Hang on, what's it, spell it for me. No, it's Switzerland. Spell it for me though, please. It's Switzerland. L-U-C-E-R-N-E. This is a tourist thing from Switzerland. Yes it is me though please. It's Switzerland L-U-C-E-R-N-E this is a tourist thing from Switzerland. Yes it is Switzerland yeah. Because you've got a hat like an alpine hat hanging off it's like a

little charm break I like this badge. A mini badge stroke charm. Yeah so you've got three charms coming off and I think they're all associated with Switzerland because you've got that hat one of those alpine hats. You've got a green star probably something to do with something. And a boot. A boot for. I like that badge. Yeah. I like that badge. I like that badge. The Welsh flag is a nice little badge there. Can't go wrong. Teddy bear, Father Christmas, probably my least favourite. That's probably a charity pin. That's a fucking quite an attractive badge though. A manx because there's no tail on this cat. It's a black cat with the symbol of the manx symbol in white on the middle. It's quite a striking

badge. Is that the Isle of Man or the Isle of Manx? Isle of Man. Isle of Man, they're called Manx. Ha ha ha ha. Yes, I do. I love Man too. Oh, that reminds me of that call centre where I worked at a call centre and this guy had one call where he was trying to do... He was trying to do research with someone.

Yeah. Because we used to phone up and do questionnaires. Yeah. And he phoned up someone from the Isle of Man. did, we used to phone up and do questionnaires. Yeah. And he phoned up someone from the Isle of Man. He just always makes me laugh years later. He kept saying, Isle of Man. He kept saying Isle of Man, Isle of Man. All he would say was Isle of Man in the core. Next badge. This is a Union Jack. Looks like some kind of naval thing with a banner. Quite nice vintage. I think it says like national Skating something on it.

That's the strange thing. Oh, we've made an error. Who's the fuck going to write this down? What? The prices. Oh, I'll grab something now. Don't worry. I'm just going to look at this badge

and then I'll go grab something and you can do an edit point, yeah? Yeah. It says National Skating Association Great Britain. Fair enough. I like it. What is that? The entertainment...

What's that charity where all the big fucking celebrities that like entertainment go? This badge is another... What do they call it when it's a pin? Clasped broach kind of thing. Yeah, a broach thing. It's a metallic heart shape with a smaller heart shape in one sort of lobe of this heart

and lines of light coming out of it. I was right. It's the variety club heart, isn't it? with a smaller heart shape in one sort of lobe of this heart and lines of light coming out of it. I was right. It's the variety club heart, isn't it, or the charity that they give out. So there you go. They give it out to what? People who perform there? I don't know. It's a gold badge that people get for donating or being part of the... Well, it's coloured gold though, isn't it? I would say that was coloured silver. It's not. That's definitely...

Oh yeah. Now you say. Weird. My perception totally changed. Yeah. They only made it in gold. It's gold metallic, but it's... Going for about 12 quid on the... On eBay right now. I mean, does it go for 12? Or people put it up for 12? Then there's one for 3. So it's a lottery.

And just like that, he's back. So, for the job lot... Pins, job lot pins. I'm going to go ahead and say, and I don't know why, are you ready for me to receive my points? Yes, please tell me. £3 I think. £3 for the job lot?

For the job lot. I'd be very surprised if that was a quid for more. £3. And I'm saying, we're saying between £7 and £17 doesn't really help. No. Does it? The window, it's just distracting. Absolutely doesn't help at all. Too wide a window. Too wide. I would much prefer one of those little grates

that isn't really even a window, just a bit of a vent. Or even just like an extractor fan on the wall. I think it was fiver. Interesting. I'm going to say five. Okay. I mean, you've got more experience of buying pins online. Yeah, but it's a crap shoot though with it really. I think it's five. Okay. I've said five, you said three. And we're going to move on to the second item on this bespoke price of shite sent in from Ollie. And let's see what the next item is. Oh, this actually I've just noticed now. The gold badge with the heart, the Variety Club one. I think this is the box. Gold Heart Day. Wear your heart on your sleeve.

Heartfelt thanks. Lali, dali,-dee-da, thank you for helping us. That's fine. Okay, I like the box as well. Yeah, you can have that box granted. They all came in that one box that was just for the Royal Variety badge. Now this one is, Eli has seen this by the way in advance, so this won't be a complete surprise, but let's see what it is. Oh, I've seen it in advance, have I? Yeah, because I showed you it briefly last week, didn't I? And you were like, oh, and you creamed your keks. I creamed my keks. You creamed your batter pats. Oh, yeah. This is a piece of proper tat. It's a fucking rabbit in Bakelite or something called Josh. Is it? Yeah. He's called Josh. Look, he says Josh the rabbit. Josh. Well, I wouldn't do that. What's up, Doc? My fingers.

Right up. Right. This is a little bunny and... Little statuary, innit? He's got... A mantelpiece botherer. What is that hat called? I don't know. It's almost like a fez, but it's not quite a fez.

It's like a lady's fez. And he has a nice scarf on. Yeah. And he's smoking a pipe. Like he's a raconteur, I want to say, or something like that. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like he should be wearing a smoking jacket as well.

Yeah. I think that's the vibe they're going for. Sophisticated and amusing. An avuncular rabbit. Paul, I'm going to hand it back to many observations from you about Josh. I like, you know what I do like, and this is such a weird- Oh, it's got the sticker on. No, no, no. It's such a weird thing to like about this shit. But I always appreciate when they put a little bit of shitty felt on the bottom so it doesn't scuff your tabletop. Yeah, and it's got

the sticker of the manufacturer there. It does. What does it say? It's like moonshaft or something designed. Moonshaft. I don't know. It says handcrafted, which, you know, I debate. Made in England, so it's a good old British item. But I can't really see maybe just maybe Google Lens can help. Let's find out. It would be nice to have a few more answers. Oh, hang on. Vintage Morecraft design. There's one called Bruno the dog. OK, so you know what I thought when I saw the Josh on it, I thought maybe they sold loads of them with loads of different names so people could pick them, you know, the way they do with things.

There's the dog one, which looks tragically sad. Oh, that dog's excellent. He's called Bruno. This is just about the kind of campy tat that I like. Bruno, cool. Oh, hand-painted it said, which you know. Yeah, I think you can see some of the paint's going on, Josh, isn't it? So yeah, hand-painted, but yeah.

I just don't know. It's not a great paint job. I don't understand the idea. It's like a rabbit is just not good enough. Give him a cravat, a pipe and a hat. Because he's a little, avuncular little rabbit. Tell your story, you know? You know what it reminds me of? Like Storytime Grandad. It's Storytime Grandad. The rabbit. Yes. If there was a cartoon series made of it, like that would be Storytime Grandad. It might well be, but I'm going to have to think of a price for that. Oh, I go on. Yeah, you're first, aren't

you? It's got the sticker on. It's in quite good Nick. It has the more croft. There must be collectors of this stuff. This is going for on eBay right now, which is the dog. Yeah. Uh, $11. I think I don't know about that. I'm going to play the, did it all. He mentioned the quids. There's a pig one. Are we doing our own quids gambit? Our quid? We were a freelance. Yeah. He didn't say, he didn't say one was a pound. None of them might be a pound. Yes. None of them might be a pound. None of them might be a pound. There's a pig as well. I think two pounds. I'm going to say two pounds. This Blackpool pig is going for 13 quid right now. I'm saying two pounds. Oh yeah, I don't know. What do you think Paul?

Paul's often, you might say jazzy or you could say skilled at the game, but he's very much ahead of me on all-time potwings. Maybe. It's hard. It's a balance, because often I play, you play it without me, don't you? Because I know the answers sometimes, so that skewers the numbers. It certainly does, but when we play against each other, he very often comes out on top. I'm just going to go ahead and say £2.50.

£2.50 for you, Paul. £2.50. £2.50. So that means if it is two, he won't get the little between because he would have to say 225. But he's not playing that game this day. He's not playing that game this day. What's item three? Item three is a little book by Nick Draeny called Weekend Walks in Glasgow. And it's a little book about walks you can do in Glasgow, such as the Greenock Cut Nature Trail,

or the Mugdok Country Park. Yeah, there's loads. There's sheep and shit, Campsey Glenn, sounds like a troublesome character from a light entertainment show of the eighties, Dung Oil in the Campseys. I don't know what that is. Pollock House, you know, Eli, have a little look.

Oh, it's a little guidebook. One of the greatest frustrations with this podcast is we're not quite big enough to do a tour. I would love to go to Glasgow and do a walk episode up there. I'd love to actually get out of London for more episodes. Well, we plan to do the one near where you grew up, the trail. Yeah, I know. Maybe we can do that this year. Was it the Withersea Trail or something?

The Wirral Way. The Wirral Way, yeah. Yeah, it's a good long walk that, nice one as well. Okay, perfectly good little book. You know what, I would like to visit Glasgow as well. I've never been, I've only been to, I spent some time in the Highlands in Scotland. Okay. When we, I was at boarding school.

I've been to Glasgow a few times but never long enough to really enjoy it. It's not, not, not. Oh God, sorry. Are you okay? A bird came up or something. It's nice being young, wasn't it? And you're just frolicking around in the highlands, not really caring much about anything. Not really worrying about the future and stuff. Or like how you're going to make money.

Or darkness. Hello darkness, my old friend. And Edinburgh I've been to as well, which is quite traumatic. But no, Glasgow I would love to visit. Now, it's time for you and I feel like... You know what I'm going to play. I know what you're going to do. He's playing the Gambit, everyone. Bum bum ch-ch-bum bum ch-ch-bum ch-ch-quid gambit. Bum bum ch-ch-bum bum ch-ch-bum bum quid gambit. Bum bum ch-ch-bum bum ch-ch-bum bum quid gambit.

Bum bum ch-ch-bum bum ch-ch-bum bum quid gambit. Okay, Paul is saying a quid. A quid for that book. Whenever anyone plays the Quids Gambit, because of the huge imbalance of betwings that he will achieve if they are right in playing it, it puts a lot of pressure on the other player of the game to also, just in case, go for the Quids Gambit as well. I believe we've got two more items. I'm going to go for the Quids Gambit as well. I know, call me a coward. Coward, ugly, tubby coward. But do you know what I mean? I've got to get those two extra betwings

because it could fuck my whole game. I hope I haven't led you astray. I know, I knew because I also thought that could well easily just be a quid. Yeah. So, quiz gambit. Shall we do the last two items then? QG, let's do these last two items, Paul. Last two items then? QG, let's do these last two items Paul. Oh, 16 note cards and envelopes by Mark Small and Jack Shoulder and it is called What's So You'll Verbeen. Oh, I saw this the other day at your house.

Yes, I'm glad you caught up with everything. These were all at your house, weren't they Paul? Yeah. Museum bums! How tiresome. The bums you'll see in a museum. Oh, because, you know, they used to have their bums out in the olden days. Is there another one called Museum Cox?

Is there one called Flange of the Museums? Museum Quims. Is there one called Natural History Vaginas? That's put a new meaning to V&A, doesn't it? Oh! Vaginas! I've been to the Vaginas Museum. Oh, I keep letting off. Anyway. I had to go in one way and he wouldn't let me in the other. Boom, boom!

Alright, that was good, Paul. That was good. Garen, what's that sound? Tumble, tumble, tumble. That's me on a roll, isn't it? Tumble, tumble, tumble. Don't say tumble because that makes people think of tumbleweed. Because it couldble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble tumble Air fanny! Get into my bum box! Right, no there's tape, it's taped up. Oh dear. Maybe you're gonna cut this because... I'll cut this out then. You don't have a pen knife.

Okay, Museum Bums. It says 60 note cards like you said and envelope. Well maybe it means like two vagrants who sit inside and go, eh look at the mummy over there. These are quite nice cards all from different pieces of art. One looks to be from an Horanus Bosch detail, which is sort of got a scorpion carcass with some silvered asses. cards all from different pieces of art. One looks to be from a Horonomous Bosch detail, which is sort of got a scorpion carcass with some silvered asses. That is such a weirdo

of Horonomous Bosch, wasn't he? Let me turn him on right. I want to see my art history is right. I would say that's Horonomous Bosch. You know what? I'm trying to think about myself. I met this lady the other night. She had quite the Horonomous Bosch. Yes, Horondus Bush. Nightmarish to look at, but made you think. Horondus Bush, Horonomous Bosch. It is Bosch. Bosch. And this looks like an Escher one, doesn't it? Like a tessellation. There might be a card that tells you about them all in there somewhere. You know what this is called?

What? Fish Hat Fandango. Nice. Oh, that's from 2020, that's more modern. This is the Garden of Earthly Delights by Yeharonomous Bosch. There is two soldiers or whatever their bums are. I don't know. Nice bums. There is a suit of armour which has moulded bum plates. Big booty on that. And what is that from? It says on the back there. It says portions of a costume, armour, 1525. What country though does it say? I want to say like it's Italian or something. It doesn't say. It does not say. Well another mystery. And then here is a big fertility sculpture like from you know. Big booty. Venus of Willendorf, 3000 years old. Wow, it's an old arse. It's from Vienna, the Natural History Museum, but obviously, you know, it's when it's that ancient.

Pilford from many works. Here's someone with their bum out. Another bum out statue. These are quite tasteful. Oh, I like this. Is this Dürer? I'm guessing that's Dürer. Look on the back, I tell you.

It's a black and white sort of drawing. Drawing of a man. And it has a man with his bum sitting on a big shell. Is it Poseidon or something? Looks like it's Poseidon. It is Poseidon, isn't it? But you just can't see the top of his trident there. But I bet that's a trident.

He's facing the wrong way. That's why. Maybe you can see the top of his trident if you looked a bit closer. What does it say? It doesn't say. It says Neptune. It's Neptune, which is the Roman version of Poseidon or vice versa. It's all the same muck, isn't it?

It's all the same guy. There's some art deco-y thing. It's an impressionistic one. It's all the same muck, isn't it? It's all the same guy. There's some Art Deco-y thing. Yeah. Here's an impressionistic one. It's all very nice. Here's some people there. Just some tasteful nudes. They're quite nice cards. They're quite nice cards. I'll go for that. That's quite nice cards. I can't go for that. No, I can't do. I can't go for that. No, I... Who's guess is it on the price of those? So I started first, so then it was you, then it was me, so this should be you now. Is it me now?

Yeah. Oh, yes, because you guessed you played the quids gambit last time, didn't you? I did, and you... This is bum cards. ...played the cowards gambit. Yes. It should be called that, because it really... I know.

It does put the vice on. The way you're wearing those headphones now, Paul... Yeah. ...you look like you've got some kind of bandana on. Just saying. Sorry. Why didana on just saying why do I say just saying I don't know just saying dig up stupid come on carry on bum cards how much are you gonna say one more item yeah after this yeah it's

between seven and 17 which is just it's too big a window I think three quid I'm gonna say three ten three ten three pounds and ten pounds I'm gonna say three pounds ten pounds very specific well just in case. No I mean I know it probably won't be on the nose but I'm trying to get those uh the one between for 25p either way Paul. And you know what if you give a price like that in betweeny you're more likely to get that and those are the betweens that really count over the years. You don't get on the nose a lot do you? You know I'm saying? What's your guess? I've, well I've presumed you've stopped talking because I wasn't listening.

So now I'm gonna- I presumed you stopped talking. I can't get over how much you look like you have a bandana on. And I can't get over how much you look like a grunty fuck. A grunty fuck. That's all you could come up with. I'm just trying to think of me price and I'm just going to go ahead and say 350. 350 please. I think four pound might be too much. I want to say four price and I'm just going to go ahead and say 350. 350 please. I think £4 might be too much. I want to say £4 but I'm going to say 350. So if it is in the same range, it's in a similar range. Little bit of danger here. Little danger. And we move on to our last item please. Last item is this. It is one of those things you can pick up at Tiger, Flying Tiger. It is a memory game console. And it is one of these things where, you know,

that's a fidget toy with the bubbles. But this one is electric, which means I think- Oh, weird, I haven't seen one of those. Welcome to the great game. And then you can pick a game. Number, number, number, number, number, number, number, number, number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number

number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number Send me... Hand me the box! This is... Stop saying that! Stop saying number! Stop pressing the button saying number! No stop please! Please stop saying number! Hand me the box, I'm getting the box myself. Num num num num num num num num. Num num, yes. Indeed. number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number number ago you know the latex I think is the name of that plastic isn't it's latex isn't it Paul? Something like that yeah. It's latex, latex bubbles and you sort of pop them and this is

incorporated into an electronic game and it's very much like Simon Says, simple Simon yeah? Well he's following a pattern of lights there's LEDs under some of these nipples can I try? Yeah. Did you lose? No I've just... Do I have to press that now? Yeah and then you pop it out. That's stupid why did I lose there? You didn't did you? Why is it going? I don't know. Why is it fucking mocking me number? number number number number number Where's the number button I want it to make a plate number. I don't know I think it's play it number. I don't know. I think it's... Number, number, number... Hey!

A bit my medicine! Your own medicine! I can give you some of my medicine. Your medicine is foul and sour. It's fucking spunk, that's what it is. Sour spunk medicine. Number, number, number, number 19. Don't listen to the white album this, isn't it? Number 9.

Number 9. Okay, we want a prize from you. I'm turning it off. Okay. Don't press number don't turn it on and press number. Please stop. Please. He go it in the street looking for trouble he's the bad boy. He's drinking and he's driving looking for a fight he's a bad boy he gonna make love to your girlfriend oh he is a bad boy come on everybody let's all gang up on the bad boy the bad boy hit it dum didi da dum dum dum dum didi da dum dum what what what a dumb why is he the bad boy why have you gone with that theme for this oh he sits at home on his own cuz he he the bad boy? Why have you gone with that theme for this? Oh! He sits at home on his own, cause he's a bad boy.

A little one sitting and griddling and riddling, a bad boy. Snorting Ritalin? Watching the free ten minutes of porn, he's a bad boy. I loop it. He gets his wheelie out and he thrashes it apart cause he's a bad boy. I wank it off. Anyway, that's it really, I just wanted to sing a song about a bad boy. Okay, but I don't know why you went with a bad boy theme. Please turn it off now.

I need a final price from you. Oh my god. He's sitting in the kitchen and he's laughing for an itch and he's a bad boy. Ooh, I itched my bum. He's doing the crossword and he feels a big turn his pants now. A bad boy. I shat myself. He goes to the toilet and he drops his load! He's doing the crossword and he feels a big turn his pants down A bad boy I shat myself He goes to the toilet and he drops his load

He's a bad boy A bad boy I shat myself, there's no need to go to the toilet What are you doing? Come on, I need a price from you Turn that fucker off I am re-gifting that shit Please, please stop

Why? It's not funny. No one likes this. Oh please. What do you want from me? Do you want a number from me? No. A number? No I don't. What should I give you? I'll give you the number. We all know what number it is. The number two on the floor. Fiverr. You're saying five. I can't take it off. Press the fucking off button. Alright, I'm going to fucking stamp it. I'm going to stamp it.

Five pound please. Warning you. Bad boy. You're going to say a whole fiverr for that. Yeah. So that's what I said for the first item, the badge lot. He's rubbing on his tummy and it comes out all runny. He's a bad boy.

A bad boy. How much do you think? I don't think it's that much. That's rubbing on his tummy and it comes out all runny. He's a bad boy, a bad boy. How much do you think? I don't think it's that much. That's from Tiger, right? Or one of those stores. Flying Tiger type places, yeah. Yeah, that's right. I think too.

But it was... Oh God, sorry. Yeah, Billius. A bit more of that drink. I have a little bit of wishy washy down. I could feel the booze in there. I'm quite sensitive to booze. Can you feel the booze in that. I'm quite sensitive to booze. Can you feel the booze in that?

I can feel the booze in that. Yak-o. Hope it doesn't make me yak up. Good stuff. How much? How much? I think I'm at £2.75. Right, good.

I'm going to say £2.50 though. Good. Say £2.50 and lock it in because now it is time to reveal the scores! Alright! Right, I've got the score, oh he's dropped his guts! He's a bad boy, a bad boy! He's sitting there and pouting and you just know what he's dropping, he's a bad boy! Can you stop singing that song please? I'm not a bad boy. You are.

I'm a good boy. He sits there in the dark and he licks his old skimark, he's a bad boy. I do not lick! Stop talking about me! Why do you think I'm singing about you? I've never once it's about you! Well I thought it was about you at first. I think you're projecting. Actually, what you just projected. Whoa! It's a fucking egg.

It's pure beef and egg. That's a whole Donner. Whoa! You don't get egg in Donner. I know. That's why I'm worried. Egg Donner. Imagine that.

Imagine having a Donner. Whoa! No, Paul, get serious here for a second, right? What? Imagine, you know, you've got the Donner kebab. Yes. And you get chicken. Yes.

And you get the lamb. Yeah. Imagine there was one that was just made of egg. One big egg. No, and it could have like the yolk in the middle, like those tube eggs that you get in pies. It's just one of those then, isn't it? It's just a tube egg. On a fucking spit. He's a bad boy, a bad boy.

Donner egg, you heard it here first. Just patent. Wait, is it an invention or a character you're going to come up with? It's an invention. Donna Egg. Yes. Hello. I'm Donna Egg.

I'm Donna Egg and I give sensible advice to those... All of your posh lady characters are fucking... Hello. ...are fucking agonians. Give me a little question. Okay. And I'll give you some advice. I have a...

Donna? Yes? I have a question. Please? I have a last... You're in a safe space here. Thank you, thank you. And whatever you say...

Yeah? ...between me and you... Okay. ...it's just between me, you and the four walls. Okay, thank you Donna. Okay, here we go. Erm... It's quite embarrassing to say but...

Pfft! Come on! Come on! Use the towel. It's quite embarrassing to say but... Go on. Use the towel. It's quite embarrassing but... Go on, it's not embarrassing for me. After I go wee wee and go back to bed, something else comes out and it's not wee and it smells of fish. Is it a bit whiter and thicker?

No it's it's yellow and it smells of fish and then I get a I get a bad dream afterwards. A discharge is it? It's a discharge. It's an unwanted discharge is it? Okay well let me just process this and I'll give you my answer. Here we go. Why are you a chicken? you my answer. Here we go. Why are you a chicken? I've lost. He gave up on that character everyone. The chicken impression out of nowhere and then the mouth pop. I'm not a chicken. You have given up on that character. He's holding the mass egg. He's holding the man from the air dick. I've hatched an egg. Oh, he's got an egg. It's the egg that's come out of me with the answer.

Oh, can I sit that on a Donner? Oh, I just have to open it and out it comes a little piece of paper and a little toy as well, a little badge. There you go. Thank you. And this one just says, hmm, maybe wash your winky before bed. OK, thanks Donner, yeah. I'm Donner Egg and I can solve all answers with my Gatchapon Vaj.

You're starting to sell me on her actually. You see what I'm saying? I didn't need the chicken impression. Because you know when you do to the fun fair and you see those things with the egg. I like the Gatchapon Vaj. I like the idea of a Gatchapon Vaj. Do you know the blade of the chicken and the thing and you put the coin and the chicken rotates? Oh yeah. How's doing that? The egg comes out of the toy. Yeah thing and you put the coin and the chicken rotates? Oh yeah.

How's it doing that? Egg comes out of a toy. Yeah that's what I was doing. Okay well done. Anyway, Donna Egg, brand new character. Are you ready to... Uh oh. They're after Donna Egg.

Right, okay I'll read the answers out as they are on the thing. Oh no. And I'll be scoring. Yeah. Okay. And just again, spot on price guess, two betweens, close panosa gar guess, one betweens. And by close panosa gar you mean 25 pence exactly either way of the real price. And then the quids gambit is the quids gambit and could

give you four betweens. Crazy. Crazy. That would give you four. If we both, we'd both have four there. Right. Because I've nullified your quids gambit by also playing the quids gambit, also known as the cowards gambit. Start with the badges. Yes. Is that the one you... I've got the badges first. Okay, what did you say? I said five for the job lot. And how much did I say?

Three pounds. Three pounds? I get two for twings right out the gate. Liar. You've cheated. I haven't cheated. I got this one right. Why aren't I allowed to get this right? Because you uncannily get everything right all the time. Anyway, that's two per twings for Ganon. You would cheat as well at something like this. The reason why I would never cheat playing this game is because I hate having these fucking conversations with you.

Alright, fair enough. I'm just a bit taken aback and depressed by that. But it could change. There's four more items and the quiz gambit. Two per twings for you, Paul. Well done. Did you get anything close? Five, no. Oh, okay. Next item item what is it we picked according to you? Josh the Debonair Rabbit. Bunny statue, how much did you say? I said £2 and I said £2.5, £2.50. £2.50, it was £1.99 so you get a betwing for that. Oh cruel almost. That's cruel. That's a cruel price. That's cruel summer. You don't often see 99.99p stuff, you know what I mean? No, and I basically got it right,

but because of that fucking darn 99p thing, I only get one between. Yeah. The rules is the rules. The rules is the rules. And that's 25p either way, so there you go. But still, you're on the scoreboard. I'm on the scoreboard, I'm happy with that result. Next item. Next item I've got down here is the Glasgow Walks. Oh, the book. The Weekend Walks in Glasgow. I wonder why you'd have to go on the weekend. Best traffic, I guess.

Yeah, and you're not working. You forget that we live feckless lives. No, I've got to get a job. You do. Anyway. Right, how much did you save for the book? Oh, it was quids gambit this one, wasn't it? That's right, we both went for the quids gambit!

Oh! £1.50, is it? £3 for that book. Yeah both way out there. And I can reveal now as well there is no quid item. There is no quid item so that's at least we got it out of the way. Yeah anyway £3 for that. Going into the fourth item you are a... between a head. Right what is the fourth item again? It's the... It's the bum cards, bum museum cards. How much did you say? It's three pound ten, I'm trying to hedge my bets, get a between there. You said three ten. I said three ten, you said three pound fifty. Oh, six quid! Too rich for my blood! Oh, no betwings for either of us there. No betwings for us, leaving us with

the lecky game, the fidget game. Oh my god, I hated that thing. And you said, and I said? You said five pounds. And you said? Two pound fifty, so opposite ends of the scale there. Please let me get a drawing between. Two pounds. Oh, shit!

I was so close, well done. A frustrating round of the show, I think you'll agree. Well done. At the end of all said and done, Paul, two petwings for you. Not bad. Petwing, petwing. Yeah. And one petwing for me. Petwing. Thank you very much. There you go, Ollie. Nice selection of stuff. Thank you very much. And thank you for listening and we'll hope to see you at the next live show. Well, what are we going to do that live show announcement now? Yeah mate, as well. We're not right now. I'm going to press the button. And then do it. And then that. Maybe I'll ask Donna what to do. Oh, please. Donna! Are you still there? Oh oh yes hello yes accents changed no it's not

oh dear you bit bilious you have a problem with your tummy and digestion I do Donna can I I've got an idea but that's not I wanted to ask you about yeah when I in the nighttime yes no you're safe with me. No one need no. When I'm asleep. Yes. My dreams are always. Did you sleep face down? Oh, I can't remember because I'm asleep. Okay. A man comes into my dreams and he's called the straw hand geezer. And he's very wafty. And he he wafts around putting his big straw hands on the walls and he's testing the temperature that's what he says he's testing the temperature oh i'm the wafty man testing the temperature

what should i do about that okay let me uh let me fucking take the egg out you canno let me just have a little think now about what we can do to offer some advice. Bukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukkabukk Oh yeah? Air fannies. Air fannies. Call back, yeah, no. It's all disassembled. So sorry. Aww, it's time to say goodbye for another week on Cheap Show. Did you have fun? I did. Thanks again to Ollie. Thanks again, Ollie. And if you want to send anything to us on the PO Box,

the information is on the front page of our website. Scroll down a little bit. And also, if you listen to this on a podcast app, which I imagine you are, look for the information description of this episode on the app. And there's all the details there to email us and the PO Box address. Other than that, the cheapshow.co.uk is your one stop shop for everything Cheap Show. Go there and you can go from anywhere else on the internet. We exist from that point. Right, what else? Yes, one, Albums on the Go. We'll hopefully

announce it in April to get the pre-orders in so it can be made in time for episode 450, which is about Augusty I think it is. We're having a lot of informal production meetings before we record, aren't we, Paul? Discussing the options. Yes. And we're both very excited. Got a track listing, spoke to Noiseland about it, it's all good. Because the album will basically be a mix of Noiseland stuff and like a brief history of songs we've had on the podcast.

Which Teen Yet is part of. Exactly a part of. Okay. So that's on the way, so keep an ear out for that. You'll be able to get your exclusive Cheap Show album, hopefully. News about that more soon. More news about that soon. More news about that soon. Yes, we have a live show at the Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival this October. At the Bedford. At the same venue as last year, to those who were lucky enough to see it lovely venue

We're gonna be there again. We are gonna put details up later when they officially announced it in May the tickets However, if you are a patreon by the time this episode comes out You will have a link to tickets to get your advanced booking in and you will have an advanced Access to book a ticket for about a month and a half two months Okay, before they publicly put them on sale. Okay cool. And I can guarantee you we're going to have a stormer. If our two guests say yes.

Are you going to announce that now? No. Are you going to tell me? Because I need for them to confirm first. But are you going to tell me? No. Please. Alright, I'll tell you after this.

Well done, why don't you just tell me and cut it out. Brilliant, that would be brilliant. We'll see how we go. Very good. Yes. It would be more, yeah. It all depends on the availability basically, but that's why I'm not announcing each year. Brilliant, that'd be brilliant. We'll see how we go. Very good.

Yes. It'd be more, yeah. It all depends on the availability basically, but that's why I'm not announcing it yet in case they turn around a week from now and say no and then it sounds, then this sounds embarrassing. I understand. Right, so the tickets will be available on Patreon basically by the time this episode goes up and they will have a head start on booking tickets.

We only have like a hundred seats. It sells out pretty fast. If you want to come, come. There's going to be cheap show badges on sale and because it is our 10th year, it will be our 10 year celebratory live show. I'm going to try and do a little bit of everything. So if anyone's wanted to see Eli do fucking Don't Get Mad, we're going to do Don't Get Mad for example. Yes. With our special guests. It's never reached the heights it did on the initial one.

No, it never will. But hopefully. That was like episode three or something. I know, but hopefully people will finally fucking get it and we'll never have to do it again. But if that helps get people involved, it will be our 10 year celebratory live show. However, July we turned 10 years old this fucking year. And so we're going to do a special YouTube live stream with as many guests and friends of the show as possible, sketches, videos, segments. We're gonna go crazy with it, we're gonna get we're just gonna just see what happens, no plan. Okay. Your Envision's on the way, the album's coming, 4.50 in August, there's a

lot going on. And if people do want to support us further, oh yeah, what kind of things can they get if they join our Patreon? Well Patreon supporters get obviously access to Ticket Early, things like that. Also they join our Patreon? Well Patreon supporters get obviously access to tickets early things like that also they'll get early access to the cheap shots that's all tiers as well behind the scenes videos look depending on the tier you'll get a podcast a mini podcast a video episode behind the scenes stuff there's a lot of extra extra cheap show stuff hopefully a magazine behind that very low paywall. So lots to do and explore and no matter what tier you join us at we appreciate it and we thank you but

please only do help us if you can afford to help us. If not, review us online, review us on the podcast apps, that all helps as well. Good pods, Apple pods, all that kind of stuff. And that's it, that's the admin, that's the admin, more details and all that stuff as we go. But basically, live show, Cheerful Airful Podcast Festival, October this year, 10 year anniversary party, Patreon supporters get early access. Now I'm knackered. It's really hard to think of bird garden tool puns, I tell you. I know, what can a children's...

Toucan, watering Toucan is the best. Yeah, I mean that's, it is, but what are the... And trowel. Trowel. I mean trowel is brilliant. I mean, that's the clincher, isn't it? If anyone can think of any others, please do come to them. Come to them? What was the idea, the concept?

No, I meant wank off to them. Oh dear. Oh dear. Sometimes I... Oh dear. Do you like my melanin bowl? Is that blue one? No, that one, yeah.

It's strange, isn't it? It's a sort of little dish. I think it might be a soap dish for a round soap. I could have used that for me. The clippity cloppity. Opening the egg. Yeah. Yeah. But I like that melanin one, which is blue. It's really striking the color.

That's like a Bakelite. Melanin is like Bakelite. Yeah. It's got night. It's nice, isn't it? It's almost ceramic, but almost plastic as well. It's by a company called Kiss Mel. Yeah. As in melanite, which is what it's made of, melanin. Why kiss it though? Should I kiss it? I don't know but it's kind of nice and it's matte on the outside. It's like a little milk jug isn't it? Manfat jug. Do you see the way it's glossy on the inside of the cup? It's got matte on the outside. There's more going on

than meets the eye with that thing. Anyway, photos on the website everyone, thanks for listening. Paul's tired now. No, I was trying to think of everyone myself. Lorne Moller. That's a mole innit. Lorne Moller man. Yeah, that's Lorne Moller man. It does work, but that's chump. Let's just end with that and get out of here. Lorne Moller man too.

See you next week. Bye. See you next week! Bye!