CheapShow - Ep 427: Non Stop Noodles

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

Oh Boy Howdy have we got noodles for you this week! Eli is frothing with anticipation because he’s got three cup noodles to blitz through AND he’s managed to get his little claws on two new noodle/pasta hybrid meals. Paul is going to just have to deal with the onslaught of instant noodle goodness that is coming his way. They’ll be sampling some vile Pickled Onion Super Noodles, guzzling down some spicy hot Kim Chi Jjigae broth and see what the Squid Game licenced Rice Cakes in Sweet and Spicy sauce is like. Once that’s been tasted and tested, the Cheap Chaps are moving on to a new line of food from Samyang called Tangle. It seems to be an instant noodle meets Italian pasta hybrid thing that can’t taste as weird as it sounds, right? However, if you fear its all noodle, all the time, then don’t worry as we have a brilliant new character making a debut. Even Eli approves! Who is Dicky Churdlington and what’s his top tip for the races this weekend? As ever, you have to listen to find out! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-427-non-stop-noodles And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Little update Paul. Go on. I don't know if you remember but last week... I don't know remember. I don't know if you remember mate but last week... What do I don't remember? You tell me. I'm saying I don't know if you remember. Well if you don't know am I meant to know? I'll mention it again. I don't know if you remember it. But what if I don't remember? I'm fucking hell mate. I'm just trying to say something here. Go on. I don't know if you remember but... No I don't know what I'm meant to remember. I know but I'm about to say it. All right, go on. Um, that you made a very funny pun. The trowel. Yeah. Which was a garden. Are you going to mention that tweet now about

Jason lawnmower? No. Oh, cause someone said we missed a trick cause we had, you know, Jason Momoa, we mentioned him. Yeah. But he's Jason lawnmower. Yeah. I mean, well done that tweet. That's not what I was going to mention, but I do have two more garden implement Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo Mo remember that. Well this has been a lot of build up and they are not that impressive. Good. So firstly, second turn. Wait, I don't wait, what? Explain turn. Turn. A turn is a bird. Is it? And a second turn. Everybody's turn about the bird. Turd the bird. Richard Chirdlington the bird. Hello I'm Richard Chirdling the bird. You know what I left in the... Put money on Greyhound's boutique on the 3.30 at Jack's. Greyhound's boutique is in the name of the horse.

Yeah that's the name of the horse. Dead Ringer, 20 to 1 it's going to win, I tell you. Do you come from a long line of Chirdlingtons? I do. There have been Chirdlingtons as black as far as I remember. As far as you remember? But that's only to your childhood. Ilington as back as far as I remember. As far as you remember? Yeah. But that's only to your childhood. I know, that's as far as they go.

You're a fucking moron, Churlington. Get out of my... He's a bird. Anyway, put money on. Put money on. Greyhounds Boutique. Greyhounds, I will. 3.30 at Jebstore.

Go on, do it. All right. You dead ringer. Thank you, Richard. Do you want to borrow some money off me? Yeah, sure. All right, I'll give you 50 quid. All right, when do I have to pay it back?

We've got to pay it back'll give you 50 quid. Alright, when do I have to pay it back? We've got to pay it back this afternoon with 45% interest on top of that. Okay, so... Yeah. Work it out. That's 75, around 75. Do you want to hear this second Paul? Wow, Chirdlington really awoke something in you.

Yeah I like Chirdlington. You know, secateurs are those big scissor things. Harry's mouthwash, go on, Aintree, 4.30. Okay I'll put money on that as well. Do you want to borrow money for it? No! What is that? Anyway, Paul, secreters of those big garden sizzles. Yeah, I got it, but I didn't know what the turn was, so it was lost on me. Okay. A turn is a seabird. Are you ready now for

final bird? Yeah, how specific is this? Bird, garden, implement. That's how specific it is, yes. Right, okay. You ready for the last one? Yeah. Pitchstalk. Okay, that's alright, but that sounds the last one? Yeah. Pitchstalk. Okay, that's alright, but that sounds more like a trendy website. Pitchstalk. Yeah.

Hey everybody, let's go to Pitchstalk.com and buy some hosaries. Hosaries? Yeah, I don't know. Four-thirty. You got money to bed? Richard Chirlington everybody. You got money to bed? You want to put it on a angry foreskin?

Angry foreskin. Four-thirty. Forty to one. No, I'm looking at the list here, Paul. Fifty-two to five-seven a angry foreskin. Angry foreskin? 430. 40 to 1. I'm looking at the list here Paul. 52 to 57. Richard. Yeah? I'm looking at...

Chirdlington. Mr Chirdlington? He's whistling at the pigeons again everybody. You know what? What? Go on, get through it. No, I'm looking for angry foreskin at this 4.30 entry you said, yeah? Oh right, yeah.

There's no angry foreskin. No there's not. There's swollen glands, we've got... It's a dead ringer. Itchy ballsack. Oh yeah, we've got itchy ballsack. We've got separating vag. Have you got... tell you what, look at the list, it's Fatima's Harden bag on there.

Shut up. Please start the fucking episode, I've lost it! Chepstow, 420! Out, Chirdlington, out! Donaldton's Mastiff! Welcome to Cheap Show, I guess! Cheap Show to the Motherboy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy!

It's the price of shy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy! It's the price of shy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy! It's the price of shy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy! It's the price of shy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy!

It's the price of shy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy! It's the price of shy! Cheap Show to the Motherboy! It's the price time. I'm Paul Gannon. Yes, that's fine. I'm Eli Silverman everybody. And he's Porky Pig as well today. I'm always Porky Pig. Yeah, I'll get my Porky Pig out. Stick it right up your daffy dock. Oh my wow. Oh my damn. Oh my honey child. Right, what are we doing? It's Cheap Show. It's a podcast. That's right. Tell them what kind of podcast it is please. Thematically, it's about enjoying the things that shouldn't

be too expensive to buy. That's really what it is. It's like living on the cheap and getting the best out of cheap things. And sometimes we go to a charity show. I'm just going to throw that out there. Sometimes we go to a power plant. Throw it out there. Just to put that eye in here. Put it in the hat. And then we go and buy things from there. Then we bring them back. We sometimes buy things from charity shops. Yeah. We bring them back and we talk about them on the show and they keep things sometimes they're more

illuminative to other parts of pop culture i love an illuminative thing that illuminates and uh yeah reach you mess my fire uh yes now he's lost the will everyone it's's gone. Yeah, he's right. He went too, he went too weird all at once. He was flitting around like a mayfly. One idea, the next never lighting on one. Chirdlington started him off. He wants to do that. He wants to do an extended skin. No, I'll tell you what's coming up Paul on this week's episode because it is. The great thing about Chirdlington is you know like when you see those guys at the race course and they're doing the hand movements to say about betting. The bookies yeah.

Well Churlington's a bird so he can only do it with his wings. So he's like this isn't he's flopping his wings around. Oh it's a bird. Churlington is a bird. He is a bird. Okay. He's a little bird but he's got a pork pie hat on. He's always got a figgy, a little figgy.

A little figgy yeah. H hanging out his beak. He has a little bookies pad under his wing. You know what I mean? And he wears tweed. Does he have like a little bookies blackboard around his neck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love Chirdlington. Ricky Chirdlington as they call him. Now, we're doing something that is also cheap. And it also is what I like to call a fundamental building block of cheap show. And that is the instant noodle. It is a load bearing segment of the podcast. It's noodle time everybody and we have several noodles to get through. Paul, do you have

anything to add? Well, I will say this before we get started, if you are a Patreon, you can get tickets right now for our live show as the cheerfully podcast festival. Details in the episode description on this pod in your app. 18th of October. I believe so. In the afternoon, 90 minutes. Hopefully two guests yet to confirm who will blow your balls off. Maybe not, but it'll be nice to have. It'll be nice to have guests. Always nice to have guests, Paul. And because Cheap Show is turning 10, we will use this live show as a 10 year anniversary.

So we're going to do some old things we haven't done in a while, like, you know, Eli's tops or whatever. Eli's top three? Yeah, we'll do some of those. Oh, I've got so many top threes ready to go. And we're going to do by popular demand, we haven't done it in years. Don't get mad. So if you want to see a segment die on its arse in real life, come on, come along. We did reprise Don't Look Mad at least twice already though.

We've done it, yeah, but seriously, I think the last time we did it, I want to say at least three years ago. Okay, well it's time again for Don't Get Mad and I will be getting mad and you know what, spoiler alert, the sketch will involve me taking a shit somewhere. Yeah, so you know. I'll take a shit somewhere or I'll probably have to... It's like... Like the Antian wank off, won't it?

It's like, you know what it is? It's like your parrot sketch, isn't it? It's like, go on, do it. This parrot is not dead. I know. But at least the parrot sketch had something to it. It's literally me going, oh, I'm not going to get angry. I'm going to take a shit here. Well, if you again, public shitting, is that my fucking legacy?

Might be. Eli Silverman lies here. Public shitting. Yeah, that went up during the here, known for public shitting. Yeah, that went up during the pandemic. What? Public shitting? You remember? No. There was a news story. Don't remember. Public defecation went through the roof.

Well, it couldn't have done it. That would be really like a Poof volcano, wouldn't it? Talk about chocolate shotgun. You'd need a chocolate fucking cannon to get through the roof. A chocolate hot cannonball, yeah. You'd need some kind of oven to harden the pops after they come out what are you doing I was losing it I was imagining a fucking poo oven to make poo cannon balls in all right well you over there by yourself if you want. Through the roof! Poo through the roof!

New segment on the show. Poo through the roof! Poo through the roof! Oh, you could make a roof out of paper like they did on the end of Takeshi's castle. You're still going to have to eject scat from your bumhole with some force. I don't think that's possible. If you have really bad diarrhea and it's like shitting through the eye of a needle as they say Yeah, you do get quite a quite a that's the final round the shit for the eye of a needle round

Where we got this big plastic needle? And it rotates on stage I don't want to be involved in this idea and then someone chugs a load of like, you know, I'll So can you get Chris Tarrant to buy my share because I'm not involved anymore. Just saying, it's a good... So round one is, uh, name that poo. You've got to name what the animal is. It's the whole show, it's called Poo Through the Roof. Yeah, Poo Through the Roof. And if you, uh...

Name that scat. Yeah, name that... No, then name that poo. And then you've got, uh... I don't want to do this. I just don't want to do this. I just don't want to do it. He was about one terrible joke after me on this. Let's pull the cord, not the flush, the cord, and drop out of this terrible idea. Anal knowledge. Quick fire round. Odd plop out. I've started so I'll finish. Oh dear. You've got 60 seconds to have a shit.

Boop, boop, boop. I've started so I'll finish. It's tangling. It's just a little bit of air on it. We're just collecting it to the bum-o and it's tangling like a dog. And now we've got the win it shooting round. That's it. Anyone who does this is just... Oh no. Now, on to food.

All that... Yeah, let's talk about food. That noodles. Are you OK, Paul? Paul, I think we should have a moment. We did. Very special moment. I don't know if we can continue.

I know we're on 10 years, but it's difficult now because... Take it, pull for the roof! 32 on! The problem is, right, is we know each other so well, and we've been working together for so long, 10 years at least, or longer, that we know where we're going with ideas, so we forget to actually state it and we just disassemble into this little cackling. Which isn't good for the listener to think about it. Anyway, you're right though.

Let's get down to business. This week is a noodle packed episode. Noodle, noodle, noodle, noodle, noodle. We're gonna be doing three potted varieties and two instant cake noodle varieties. Or decks of instant ramen. They're not called decks. I'll give them puck, a puck of instant noodle I will give.

I think deck is fine and much better than cake. Cake is a different kind of food which is often sweet. Is it? I mean you know that you know. I don't know why you say is it? What's this type of rhetoric? Is this some sort of rhetoric? Because I wasn't listening I'll be honest. Just trying to fill in yeah. Good. No, we are doing some noodles today and we have burgers coming as well. I know. Actually we do. We're gonna be stuffed. I tell you what, I tell you what, I tell you what, let's take a break and we'll come back and we'll get into the first batch. All right? Absolutely. Do you want to eat a noodle? Noodle, noodle.

Do you want to eat a noodle? Pop Blitz! Do you want to have some noodles? Noodle, some noodles. Do you want to have some noodle? Pop Blitz! It's Noodle Pop Blitz time, everybody. It is. It is the part of the show where we blitz a few noodle pots. Noodle

pot blitz time. Now I'm sitting on something right now that I'm going to keep for a future episode. Oh yeah, not that. Not like I'm going to have a poo. It sounded, do you know what Paul, every time you say I'm sitting on, my mind goes there because of the numerous times we've been out and about and you've said A. I'm sitting on something B. I'm swallowing something back up or I'm trying to bite down on something is the other expression you use. All three mean I'm trying to control my need to defecate because I am out in public. Right now I do not need to choke anything, you're right. You know, throttle it.

Just grab it motherfucking much. What he's sitting on everybody is a very amusing pun which will come up in a later episode when we do a pot noodle thing. When I can put it into proper context. Now it's something I'm sure we're all going to look forward to and appreciate when it arrives, but for now, this is the Blitz,

the Noodle Pot Blitz. Oh, noodles raining down from the sky, mummy! We have three today. Yes. noodles raining down from the sky, mummy! We have three today. Yes. We're gonna make them, bake them, bring them back and take them, put them in a mouth and give them a shake them.

There's the first one. What am I doing with my life? Don't have that thought now. Oh, okay then. Right. Everyone has that thought when they wake up at five in the morning. Yeah, I ate that duck.

It's not the duck of what? The duck of anxiety? The duck of dread. It's the duck of dread. Duck of dread at the 3.15. Is that another one of those? Yeah, that's the one. Wait! Turlington's back everyone! Duck of dread. Put good money on that. I don't have any money though, Dicky boy. I tell you what, I'll give you a monkey if you want. You give me a monkey but I want some money to put on the race. Oh that Eli! Get out! Come on fly off!

There he goes with his little cap. That's it! Right, what's the first pot noodles? The duck of dread. And just to be clear, these are not pot noodles this week, which is a proprietary brand. These are noodle pots. And one of our big nemeses over the years. Nemeses? I'll tell you what, let me begin this.

What? Nothing. Right. These... Nemeseagles. The seagulls that are out to get you. Oh my. Oh! That's reminded me. I've got another pun. Oh go on. Wait for it.

Okay. Oh, I need to, I need to do some work in the garden but it's very dirty. I need my gardening doves. Nope. No, what do you mean no? Nope. What do you mean no? Nope, no, no, no, no, shaking my head.

Why is trowel allowed? Because trowel was funny, that's why. You've got to come at me with a bit more than that. The second turn? That's really not funny. It's really high brow. That's not a high brow kind of podcast, is it? Pitchstalk? Getting there, but again... Gardening Dove.

That's fine, I guess. Come on. At least I came up with another one that is legitimately Falls Within. You're just like fucking Mole Man or whatever you said. I've got one. Sp-ren-kles. Sp-ren-kles. Ren. I get it. I got it. Sprenkles. Sprenkles. Tell you what mate, back of my pants I've got some sprenkles all over them. Why, you've shat yourself out here. I have done a doo doo in my pop pops. I don't know mate. I'm actually kind of trying to keep it on a level here. All right this is let me start with asking you a question. Do you dare taste the tang? Yeah. Right good

because this is a super noodle by bachelors so already oh dear. That's what I meant by the nemenes. Yeah we don't like them they're slop. That's what I meant by the nemenes. Yeah, we don't like them. They're slop. That's what I meant by the nemesis concept. That's what... Just get... Just move on. No, I'm not. I'm just gonna get that one sentence out, please. Go on. That's what I meant by the nemesis comment, Paul. All right. This is a limited edition. They're our nemesis. They're the anti-noodle. That's been established. We know that you need to move on. Did you turn the heating on? No. Maybe. Oh my God, I can't live. I can't live like this. I'm losing energy.

I'm sweating. This is always what happens. I'll tear it off in a minute. Let's get through this. I just ate a whopper as well. Oh yeah, we had something to eat so I'm not hungry now. I don't know what we're going to do with this. We're not getting it.

Come on. It's really exciting, but it's too hot in here. All right, stop talking. It's a batch of a super noodle, so already on shaky ground. It is a pickled onion crisp flavour. Oh wow. Limited edition super noodles. So not just pickled onion, but the crisp profile. That's so interesting because... There's a little angrier... Do you think... Thing on there. But why not go the whole hog and team up with Monster Munch and say... Yeah, why not? But maybe... Because that's the most famous of the pickled onion crisps, isn't it? In the UK. Yeah.

That's the most famous of the pickled onion crisps, isn't it? In the UK? Yeah, and it's a big thing, isn't it? We tried, do you remember those crisps that were meant to be, they were normal potato chips, but they were meant to be the flavour of the pickled onion Monster Munch. And they were terrible. Yes, because I said then and I'll say it now, I think that flavour works with that flavour texture, that crisp. But the thing was, you can get normal walkers pickled onion flavour and

they've got a real tang to them. And they're nice. But the Monster Munch flavoured ones did not. But do you know what I'm getting at? Why are they crisp flavoured? Pickled onion crisp. So they can say, here's the flavour profile, they're having to go with a brand and deal with all that shit. It's just the generic idea. People say bubblegum flavour. You know, it's that thing. That's one. Number two is... But why not, Paul? Why not just be pickled onion flavour? Why not?

Do you see what I'm getting at? You're not going to do a tie-in with some brand, i.e. Monster Munch. Yeah. Why would you call it a Chris? I mean, why not just call it, like, Parsons jar of pickled onion flavour? Yeah, do you see what I'm saying? So, not Parsons. It is Parsons, isn't it? Who do the pickled onions in a jar? I'm sure it's Parsons. Who does the vinegar? Parsons. Parsons do the vinegar and they probably do onions as well. Yeah. I'm sure they do pickled onions in a jar. Why? I'm not doubting that. Parsons. I'm just sticking down. Parsons.

What do you call when your dad's lights fires? Criminally. Parson. No! No! It's genius! Right. Now, that would be interesting. That would be interesting. Ready in four minutes, it says on the side.

I think my theory, why they've gone with the crisp thing, is that it's to appeal to kids. And kids, a lot of kids... Kids don't give a fuck about bachelor's fucking super noodles. They do, because mum's gone out, mum's working late, you know? Fix yourself a super noodle. There's some in the fridge, love. Not in the fridge, in the cupboard. Mum!

Yeah? Why are you putting the noodles in the fridge? I don't know, because I'm so tired. It's not been the same since dad left. I know, I'm tired. I'm trying to make money for this family. Oh no, mum. OK? I don't like super noodles, momma. I have to work nights. I don't to make money for this family. Oh no, Mum. Okay?

I don't like super noodles, Mum. I have to work nights. I don't like them. You don't like what? I don't like super noodles, Mum. I like pot noodles. These are special ones. Daddy used to get me pot noodles.

Yeah, but do you like crisps? No. Do you like pickled onion flavoured crisps? No. Well, these are flavoured like them. I'm a young child of the age between 8 and 12 and I do not like pickled onion flavoured anything, Mother. Well, that's all the fucking is.

I wish I went with daddy. Daddy's dead! Mmm. No, Paul. Wow. I really think that pickled onions are much more of an acquired taste that younger children... This has been ten minutes, I want to get over the fucking pot. I'm interested in why they call this a crisp flavour.

And I'm interested in not making this edit a slog. So can we fucking crack on? It's all about the edit! What, you know, I could just sit here and not say anything. I'd like that. Fucking half the edit time. What's the next pot? Right, the next one, number two, is something that you've found by a company called, is

it Daebak or Dabak? This is a Korean noodle pot, everybody. And it's called Habanero Kimchi Jjigae Flavour. J-J-I-G-A-E. I believe that is a Korean dish. Kimchi Jjigae flavor. Jjigae. I believe that is a Korean dish. Okay and it is savory and it's hot and on the side there is a Scoville heat unit for pepper. That's interesting isn't it? They actually put the Scoville units on. 50,000. So not

messing. That's what this is. We should do this last. Yes, do that last. They're not messing so that could be proper hot, Paul. And then, uh... And I'll look up Jigay as well. Have we had any...

I'll get Jigay with it. Give Will Smith a call, he'll know. Uh... What's the last pot? The next one is... you found this as well, it is a Bibigo... Boki. Boki. Choc Boki, which is not a noodle officially, but is an instant thing in a pot.

It's a rice cake with hot and spicy sauce. They're tubular rice cakes. Oh, that's weird. And it's something to do with squid game they've put on it as well. It's squid game branded, but I don't believe it's got anything to do with this sort of flavour. It's a rice cake with... In a spicy sauce. Yeah, there's no allergies or anything on there. And it's a microwave, this. That's a microwave one, yeah.

But here's my question. Is it only microwave because it was like meant to be sold in America originally? Possibly, because as we know, the electric kettle is not a feature of most American kitchens. No, it's not. Weirdly though, I don't understand this. There's a sticker on the side which has all the ingredients in English. Yes. But also it's got it on English on the original print anyway.

I think they just do it as a matter of policy. And it's two times spicy chilies in the corner. That's spicy as well. So we should definitely start with the tangy one. Pickle and squid. And they go to that because that's going to be less spicy. Yeah. And then we'll finish with the jigay. With the jigay, getting jigay with it. We'll get jigay with it. Ma ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's what he used to do in it, Wilkes-Biffy. He'd say, I'm going to rap like this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's what he used to do in it, Wilkes-Byrth. He'd say, I'm gonna rap like this.

Ha ha ha ha. Yes, he had a very, he was very popular, but it was a very sort of straightforward and mainstream friendly sort of approach, wasn't it? Wiki wiki wild wild west, Jim West desperado. Ah, I miss the 90s. He was such a big film star and he just made turd after dog after turkey after lemon. After

teg, doggy, bob, teg, bob. I just thought I'd go with some sound. I don't know. Some sound scat kind of thing. That was so good. That was so funny. You were like, I'm going to give up on language here. I did. I just thought I'd go poppin' wheelie with it. He's listed a bunch of things, but I'm just gonna go, Pong ting pong. Yeah, I'm like that character from Catch the Pigeon. You know, it's like, get himding, brrding, brrding, Shall we go and blitz these pots? Yeah, we're gonna go... And get them hot and then they're gonna rain hot noodle into our mouths like the Luftwaffe rain trap and all driven bombs onto this fair country of ours during the Second World War. Hence blitz. Yes! Well put. Right, let's go warm these fuckers up. Let's pop to the kitchen and make some noodles.

See you in a bit. We're back from the kitchen. And Paul, I'd just like to congratulate you on a very well-oiled, slick noodle-making machine. In, out. In, and then out. It was in the microwave. A little bit of a rub at the tip. Oh my god. Then in, and out. We're like that in the kitchen.

Yes, we were having full anal in the kitchen. No, I wasn't saying that. You were. I wasn't! You were fingering your own hand. That doesn't mean... It means bum. That's one of many holes I can represent.

All right, what? You fucked my ear in the kitchen. Mouth, ear. I gave you a blowie in the kitchen. And then I spat your jizz into the noodle pot. Is this what you want? I think you've extrapolated too much. I spat in the microwave. I warmed your jizz up in the microwave.

I rubbed your jizz on to my... Please stop. Please. I'm good at listing... Please stop! I can list things, you can only make mouth noises. Now... That's Rich coming from Captain Barks a lot. Captain Barks a lot, I love it! Right, come on. The three noodles are ready and first impressions on the making process. The jigay, habanero kimchi jigay... Ha ha ha ha. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right.

Was the longest, five minutes, and had a strange thing where you leave it for a while and then you put the flakes in. The flakes are dehydrated vegetable matter. It's a stalwart sachet of a Korean style noodle. But you need it to heat, I thought. We'll see how rehydrated those bits are. Yeah, no. I'll be coming back with you on a Flake Rehydration Report subsegment. I just want to mention that the pickled onion thing.

Super noodle. First of all, I'll say this. It doesn't look as thick and gloopy as it used to, to my memory. They are super noodles, very notoriously gloopy, full of corn flour. These are quite thin and water-based. But regardless of all of that, when I opened it up and saw the thick icing of pickled onion on the top, it made it look like a custard icing. Powder.

Yeah, the powder, but it had more of an icing texture. That's what distinguishes these British-style ones. And corn on the cob. And there's corn in there. But why is there corn in there? Because corn is a staple of a dehydrated vegetable matter that's in a lot of different noodles. Isn't that pathetic though? Here's some corn kernels. They do it in also in Nissian noodles. They have corn as well as all other things. But well it's time to get our forks and put them in the Nissian position in like missionary position.

Oh my fucking god. NISSIANARY POSITION. Let's get our forks in the Nissianary position. Oh my fucking god. Missionary position. Let's get our folks in the missionary position. Oh come on. Okay! I mean what... Hey! Hey! Come on! I can't make my...

How about it? Hey! How about we do it in the missionary position? Hey! Now it's becoming funny because you keep repeating it. That's right. And doing that. Which is just hilarious

on its own. Sorry, not hilarious. Dishonourable position. Oh, Churlington, get out. Yeah, fly out the little transom. I love him. No, we should. These are getting cold now. Oh yeah. So we said we'd start with the super noodle because it's the least spicy. So I'll take the hit on this one first.

Give it a stir. I did smell it before we'd dealt it. Before we'd rehydrated it or put the water on it. It had a little tang on the nose but a very cardboardy stale smell as well. It still has that. It's got that, it has got that monster munch huff but with the cardboardy wheaty noodle thing. Yeah. But it is, it's not looking too gloopy and thick. Make sure you've mixed it well because sometimes you miss out. Right at the very bottom. Okay, you've gone right to the bottom there. Good. And he's got a forkful and he'll be handing that over to me. Hey, don't spoiler it for me.

Oh, that, to quote an episode of Columbo, is liquid filth. That, to quote an episode of Columbo, is liquid filth. Oh. I can't tell you how wrong that feels. It's got lemony notes. Yeah, but no onion, no savoury. So it's like, you know what this tastes like to me? Like a really cheap chicken flavour noodle that someone's put lemon juice in.

Yeah, it's like someone just squirted jif in it. There's no pickled onion, there's no pickle. There's no, do you know what I mean? There's no fermentation, there's no... That pickle sits at the back of your mouth afterwards, but up front it's all lemon. It's all bitter, sharp, upland. Just not very nice tasting. Although, it's not slop like you usually get from super noodles, so at least texture-wise I have no real complaints.

Isn't it a little bit gloopy? Yeah, but compared to like... It's not, yeah. ...their packet stuff. The noodles are quite nice in terms of like, they're quite thin, like you said, and they've kept some plyancy. It's cooked all right. It's not like it's cooked in gravy, which all the other shit looks like.

That to me is just way too astringent. Yeah, it's got that horrible lemon flavour, which isn't isn't reading as onion to me. No. Perhaps that's why they said crisp, because it's not tasting of a real pickled onion at all. To even quote you, I would say it leaves a coiny taste in the mouth afterwards. Yes, I know what you're saying. Yeah, it's a bit coiny. Like someone's rubbed the two pence piece on your tongue. Yeah, it's just not good. That is not good. Now, I'm going to give a rehydration report on one of these corn kernels. It's going in. The thing is, if you have one of

those in a chicken and mushroom pot noodle, it's kind of like fine, it goes along with it. That's an ill-conceived flavour profile in my mind. I don't know what you'd have that with. Even just out of the box. It's a gimmick that doesn't work as a flavour. As a snack out of the box. That's not satisfying.

Is it your lunchtime snack? No, no, no. Very poor. We're going to have to give it a rating out of five. I would say two. Yeah. I'd say two. Yeah. I'd say two. Two.

What are we doing next? We're doing the rice cakes. So not officially a noodle, but a pot product. It's a pot product. It's a pot product. And then we microwave these. These are the squid game themed. Now how did that come?

Did it come with a sauce pack? It came with one large powder pack. Right. And the rice cakes themselves were also in a sealed. For the money it's weird. You don't seem to get a lot in. Like when you open that pack and it was all vacuum sealed, I think there was like what 12? Yes, but they're quite dense and thick. They're quite foodie. I just think money, money. See when you tasted one and see if it would be very filling. Cause I think maybe. It's in a rich, quite thick, red sauce.

A spicier sauce. A spicier sauce. It's a spicy sauce. Well, what kind of flavors are we expecting here? Let me just repeat it what it is. It's a rice cake with hot and spicy sauce. Okay. So the rice cake is that noodle thing and then the sauce is the sauce. I'm going to go for it. It's a famous Korean dish. I think it's like a big thing there, these rice cakes. See what I mean? They're very dense, very chewy, very dense. Oh, and the sauce is hot.'re very dense, very chewy, very dense. Oh, and the sauce is hot. It's sweet, sweet and hot. As it says. Oh, it's got kick to it. I'm torn over that. It's nice. But I think I think I wouldn't finish it. No, not bad. Maybe I'd

go for a different flavour of them. I think they come with different different flavours. Yeah. I'll be on the lookout for other ones. But you see what I mean? How you don't get that much because already it's quite filling. Need a score from you there Paul. It's the sweetness actually that kind of turned me off and not the heat. The sweetness kind of feels like that would be too much, too much after a few bites. It's almost sugary isn't it? Almost sickly sugary. Like almost like a dessert almost. It's a dessert level of sweetness, yes. What kind of sweetness is that? Sharp sweetness. No it isn't, it's like a kind of like a candy apple kind of sweetness. Yes. It's a tomato-y-ness kind of fruity sweet. To you which is at odds with the rest of the flavor.

It's not, it's under salted as well. Anyway I would give that three and a half. I'd go three, I didn't think it was great. Oh no, I'll go three then. It's not, it's undersalted as well. Anyway, I would give that three and a half. I'd go three. I didn't think it was great. Oh no, I'll go three then. It's hard to put them up against an actual noodle because that isn't a noodle. No, but... That's a rice cake. That's an instant rice cake. Yeah. And maybe you could put other stuff in it and, you know, spice it up a little bit.

So you could pimp it, put some spring onions in there? Yeah, you could do that or croutons. Let's get jigay. I'm going to go with the jigay now. I looked up what jigui is. Yeah. It's a word which means, well, describes a whole class of Korean stews. Fine. So these can be stews with meat, seafood or veg and they can have chilli as the base sauce or miso based or soy based. Okay. Not miso, soy based because miso is Japanese. Now this was the most elaborate

because it had a separate pack for the, as you say, dehydrated flakes and the sauce itself. It was a two sachet pot. You can definitely like smell the heat when you pour it in. It's got a really lovely, savoury, hot odour I'd say. And now watch out because it does say 50 grand. Scoville's. I don't know why I did it that way. He's used his hand. He's got a noodle goop on his hand. He's cupped his mouth with his hand. I don't know why I did that. He's going to get it in his eyes. That's what I'm worried about. Yeah, but be sure to wash your hands after this segment. I will. Especially before I touch Mr John Thompson. He'll get very angry. His head, oh, steaming. John Thompson. Like a little chimmy.

He goes on a little train. He sees a bird. Richard Turd Chirlington. Yeah, it's on the Intercity Ball Bag 215. Oh, I love that garlicky. I love the smell of these, I have to say. Before I eat, let's have a little bit of feedback from you about this. Kimchi Habanero.

Tell you what. So they have named the chilli. Harbinero kimchi jjigae. It has got a similar type of heat to the one we just had. What I like is that it takes out all that sweetness that I didn't really jive with. So it is a dry, dry... Salty? Not too salty. I love that smell. It's so savoury. Savoury, but it's very dry. And not super, super hot?

Well, it's hot, but not in a kind of wood wood punch in the face kind of, it's like it lingers. He's going in for his bite now. It's got the most flavour of the three. Well it does and it doesn't but it's a different type of flavour because the first one was weak as piss, the other one was too sweet and the heat is what kind of makes up for it. This is, across the board, the most balanced. Yeah and look, there's a little bit of dehydrated kimchi in there. Yeah there you go, Nice bit of kimchi.

Nice, that's rehydrated a treat actually. So my misgivings about putting it all in at the end. Worked alright. Seems to have worked perfectly because it's still got a little bit of crunch on it. A little bit of crunch. I love the smell. It's salty enough. The noodles are nice and tender. I'm going to go as high as 3.75 for this one.

I could eat that. I would eat that. I feel as hot as Eli does in a warm room. Oh, I love that. I would eat that. I feel as hot as Eli does in a warm room. Oh, I love this. Love that. It's savouriness. We need a mark for the jigay from you. Flat four for me. It's lacking a little bit of like a unique identity for itself to stand out. I know what you mean. But if you want a hot, solid, spicy, measured...

Noodle pot. This is a really good one. It's a good one. You know what, Paul? Four. You're right. It's got a generic Korean pot noodle flavor because they've got those very famous brands, the Shin cups. You see them everywhere. And this tastes very much like the Shin hot and spicy, the Nongshim hot and spicy.

Nice though. Which is definitely trying to compete with those. And it is say you get a soup out of it as well. But the smell is better. Do you want to sop the soup? I'm going to have some broth now. Yeah, have some broth. Oh, that's really nice, the broth. Yeah, cool. There's

a little bit of sweetness there. Yeah. Very hot, spicy. The salt level, Paul. Yeah. It's a salt level. The fucking super noodle wasn't salty enough. No. And I bet, weirdly enough, I bet you though, that's got the most salt in it. Yeah, probably. And I felt that the Bokeh, the rice cakes were a little bit undersalted as well. All oversweet. That's fine because it's, well, that's yeah, that's oversweet. It was oversweet. That's your right. This has the balance, the measuredness.

This is this is the best of the three parts. What score are you going to give it then? I said I'm going to say. You didn't say you got to say now. Do you remember? I'm saying four. Yeah, four is a solid one. I may have said three point seven five.

Three point seven five. I'm going to push it up to 4 because I love the broth. The broth has pushed it up another 0.25 for me. Have some broth. Have a little sip of the broth. Honestly, you won't, you will not be disappointed. You won't be disappointed. There's more notes than you get just on the noodle. Do you know what I mean? Oh, there's a bit more full of flavor there. Yeah. Bit richer. You know what I mean? Yeah. Richer sounds baby. Richer sounds. You know what I'm getting at though, the noodle doesn't carry enough of it, but then the broth is really doing something else.

After you finish all the noodles, get a nice bit of bread, dipping, dippings. You could, yeah. I don't know if that's what they do in Korea, but... Well, that's what I'm doing here. This is my house. You're not. You're not going to dip bread in that. No, because I haven't got any bread. You leave some bread out for Richard Ture Chodlington. No, he's fine with the bird seal I leave out on the window shelf. He just comes out there, takes a couple of pecks or two and then fucks off.

And then he gives you a couple of tips. Yeah, usually. He just pins a little from his bookies pad, he just pins it to the window. He's got a little one of those pins, doesn't he, behind his ear? Behind his ear. We've got noodles coming up in the next segment, everyone. I'm going to fucking roll. Donner eggs.

Oh, fuck off. Chiddley Bane, whatever his name is. What's his name? Chiddley Bane. Richard Choddley Bond. Who, the bird? We've got noodles coming up in the next segment everyone. I'm gonna fucking roll. Donner eggs? Oh fuck off eggs. Chiddley Bane, whatever his name is. What's his name? Chiddley Bane. Richard Chiddley Bond. Who, the bird? Yeah, what's his name again?

Chirdlington. Chirdlington. Dicky Chirdlington. Dicky Chirdlington. The bookie's bird. He's the bookie bird. Dicky Chirdlington. He's much better than Donner.

Anyway. Donner was fine. A. What? A. B. Whatlydandy. B. Daddy. Daddy badandy. He said it.lyadandy. B. Daddy badandy. A. A whatlyadandy. Yeah, come on, what we doing? A whatlyadandy.

Should we just end this now? Don't look at me like that. I did. I looked at you like that. He shrugged. And I'm continuing to look like this at you. He shrugged at me, everyone. We can't even shrug on him. He's not shrugged. He's doing this. He's doing monster shrugs. Monster.

Monster, monster. Monster, monster. Stop bringing that guy up. He was a criminal. He was a crook. He's a smooth criminal. No, hang on, hang on. What about that guy comes and says that's right. The price is shy for the next episode. Oh, that was just the guy who comes in and it's a little mole creature. I have to listen back and find out what his name was. Let's take a break because we have more noodles to come. And you've got the central heating up. No I don't. You just you just fatten out of shape. That's the correlation to make here. That may be true. Yeah. Right Paul. I'm not

going to deny that here. We do have the radiators coming. Yeah but the radiators are in the other part of the house. No they're all off. They're either all on or they're all off. No they're either all off or they're all on. Well the one in the kitchen was on. It's not though because if that one's off in here... I felt it! Did ya? Come and feel it with me. Oh, right, come on ladies and gentlemen, I have to feel Eli's... Press the button then, fine, I've given up.

I press the button, I tropey, tropey, tropey, to say every single fucking segment, wanker! Hey the Noodle Train don't stop chugling, and we are going to be chugling on these two. You tell us what we've got. New from Sam Yang. Now this is not a pot blitz. Please make that very clear right now. These are puck, stroke, deck, stroke, what did you say? Cake.

I'm a cake or a puck. Idiot cake. Now please do write in to Cheap Show and let us know what your preferred descriptive term for an instant noodle that doesn't come in a pot would be. TheCheapShow at gmail.com Thank you very much. These are new from Sam Yang. And if anyone does reply with that opinion, I'll reply instantly back, wanker, just for

the record. Anyway, Paul, what have Sam Yang done? Lots of stuff. But what is their big thing? Eight time spicy noodle ramen. The Buldak chicken ramen flavored noodles, which have taken the whole world by storm and are imitated by so many different brands now.

We are the leading figures of that movement. This is Samyang's new thing. I feel very full after all that burger. And these are known as Tangle. I mentioned them last week, but these are them doing a fettuccine or a linguine, a ribbon noodle, but they're trying to ape Italian pasta. That's what they're trying to do here. It's a fusion of Korean flavors with Italian pasta. And

it's very interesting to me because you know in the Far East and places like Korea and Japan, they do have Italian restaurants there and they do sort of fetishise Italian dishes such as carbonara. What? The UK. I was listening. Okay. Just not to you.

To the inner voice telling me. Just to kill you. Carbonara. Yeah. That is obviously Italian. So they do have a respect for Italian cuisine there, and they are, this is what they're doing, they're trying to introduce an Italian element even more explicitly with their new Tangle brands.

Now I don't even know... It's like when you bake bread in a car, isn't it? And you get that sense of what it's like, you know, you're carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara, carbonara-Roma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma,

Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-Aroma, Car-Carbonator-A days, you say spag bol, whatever, it's like a British dish now almost. But as Peter Kay famously pointed out, and older generations and in the 70s, things like hummus, things like... Garlic bread! Yeah, things like spaghetti with tomato sauce were exotic to English and British people. You know? Which is crazy to imagine. But I think in the Far East and places like Korea,

that there's a sort of interest in Italian style. Okay. And this is a sort of... It's a fusion, right? We got one that was sent by that guy that we'd last week, thanks for that. And I found out the other one. The one is bulgogi alfredo, tangluccini. Okay, so quickly, what are the two ones you got there? Because you got two packs. Bulgogi alfredo. That is, alfredo is a sort of Italian American chicken Alfredo. It's a creamy creamy pasta dish Okay, and then the other one chicken Alfredo and the other one Kimchi rosé. Oh, yeah. What does that mean then?

It says pasta with kimchi and creamy flavor tomato sauce and the Alfredo says pasta with creamy bulgogi flavor sauce So this is the noodle then? This is pasta? It's tagliatelle. When does noodle become pasta? Exactly. It is a question for the ages. Well that's why. This is why it's very clever. And I think that's why. Because it's a noodle-based culinary culture in Korea.

And if you think about it, if you think about it, so is Italy. Spaghetti is noodles. There's no, you know, it's a noodle. I mean don't say that to their face. They're cutting you up. LAUGHS All Italians? Yeah. They've all got knives ready to cut at the upper? You see, they're to fuck at the asshole. Oh, dearie me. I cut him up.

All of those accents just didn't work. Please remove them from your memory of me. LAUGHS Paul, you're hitting about one in four or five at the moment. Still good odds for me. I would just like to point out one thing. These are tangle range from Ssangyang and it says Bulgogi Alfredo, but then it says, look, it's Tagliatelle, but it says Tangle Laccini.

Oh, so they've done a pun. Tangle little pun thing. They've spun a pun there. Right, so what do you think is going to be best? I don't know. I don't know about the rosé. It's weird. Are they referring to the wine? Maybe. Or is that perhaps what they call a tomato sauce? Kimchi rosé. Now, kimchi has a sort of astringent, spicy, I don't know how that would go with tomato, you know?

We're going to find out, aren't we, soon? But the bulgogo alfredo, bulgogiogi Alfredo, is a much stronger sell for me. Creamy, beefy, ribbon noodle. So what's the market for this? Is it Korean audiences? Audiences. It's a Korean noodle. So it's sold primarily in Korean.

Yeah, but it's everywhere. And the gimmick is, oh look, it's an Italian spin on it. I guess. Or it's a fusion thing. Or they're saying, here's an Italian flavor profile we're going to package to you in an instant noodle style. It's meant to be, they call it pasta. They're saying this is an instant pasta rather than a noodle.

It's a ribbon style pasta noodle. And I looked at their marketing for Samyang America. And they said trendy sauce. It said authentic Italian pasta in trendy new sauces or something. That's what the blurbs are. You can't call sauce trendy. They do. And have and they've concocted it. And we've said it and repeated these. Trendy sauce. Trendy sauce. I'm sourcing some trendy sauce that is the sauce of my sauce. I'm a trendle, trangle, tangle, tendle, trangle. I tell you

... That's what works for you today. I tell you what, the source of the horse, of course, is Norse. Chalk down that horse cum. Right. So the theme of this week's episode is when we tail off on the segment, we just start barking out tangental words. I haven't barked once. Let's go into the kitchen and prepare these two tangles. Prepare the tangles.

Untangle the tangles from their packet. These are pucks, I can tell you now, Paul, because they are round, round decks. Right, well let's go into this kitchen and bring back these tangles and eat them. Yes, unfangle the tangle. Get me waggle out. Just wank in my ear. Yeah, right. Very poor. Oh, I can't wait to get tucked into this. Now, it was quite a complicated and long winded for an instant noodle. But they claim another thing they claimed at the Sam Young America website Paul was that it's for people who love Korean food, who love Italian food or

who just like a good meal. And that could include a lot of people couldn't it? I mean to be fair there's not a lot of people I know who like a good meal. I've never heard of it, it's very rare. They also said restaurant quality. Well we'll be the judge of that. We fucking will be the fucking judge of that. They look good I have to say. Which one do you want to start with? Let's start with the Alfredo Bugogi. The one I made? Yes. Again it was just you know boiling water in pan. Well no it was a three they were both three packers. Yeah but let me get into that

I was just saying rice cake, noodle cake in the hot water, sprinkle the flake, five minutes of boiling and then you add the... Five and a half minutes. Stop being pnickety. I'm just saying, I know you really want to ignore that half minute, didn't you? You really wanted to. I don't believe in 30 seconds. You're an idiot. Look, he's already started to taste it. I wanted to have a little meaty flake. Don't eat the meaty flake first.

Anyway, I already know I like it. He's ruined the whole segment. Anyway, I'll ruin it all I like. Right, so yeah, then you pour in the sauce and the powder and give it a good old shuff-de-woo and then put it in a bowl. So it has a dried flake packet. It has a sauce packet, liquid sauce packet.

This one had meaty bits in as well. And there's meaty bits that were in with the flakes as well. Paul's got the Alfredo Bugogi, which he was in charge of preparing. I'm trying to get a bit of meat on it as well. It's a bit odd. They do look good. They look almost like you could have that in a restaurant served to you. It just looks like a pasta dish. What is it? What it is?

He's got a big mouthful of that. He's handed me the bowl. I'm going to go for an aroma check. Oh, there's cheese. And I'm getting a sort of soy sauce, savory umami-ness as well. A little bit of soy sauce in there. I'm gonna go in now. I'll let him get in there now while I formulate my thoughts. The sauce has covered the ribbon noodles very nicely. It's a nice thick sauce. There's plenty of texture to it.

It's nice, but I have my misgivings. That's pretty impressive for an instant noodle. What they're doing. They're pushing the technology there. Here's my complaint. That's pretty impressive for an instant noodle. They're pushing the technology there. Here's my complaint. I would say it is a little too artificially sweet upfront. I knew you were going to say that and I agree. And the other thing is it has a slightly artificial aftertaste that I can't put my finger on.

It's like a fake sugar taste isn't it? It's like a sweetener taste. Almost. Yeah. I can't put my... it's unfortunate because the rest of it's quite... gelatinous but in a nice satisfactory way. There's nice, yeah, there's nice, not beefy notes, but you know what I mean? There's a beefy note there. There's definitely a beefy note. There's a beefy note all around the world. All around the world. No, there's a nice beefiness. There's a nice umami, a mouthfeel, a coated sort of mouthfeel. And the thing that is really letting it down is that empty sweet note that hits you first. And it sort of masks the complexity of the other flavours, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, because I think it would be better if it was beefy up front. Yeah. And did you try a piece of the dehydrated beef? Yes, I did. It was all right. It's probably a piece of soy that they've made it look like a piece of beef. Maybe. I don't know, but it tasted all right. It had a little of, well, funny enough, a filly cheesecake texture to it kind of vibe. Mmm. Oh, that's pretty good.

It's nice. I would say it's only margin let down by its artificiality and therefore I will give it a 3.75. I'd easily go 3.75. And do you know what, Paul? The most impressive thing about that is the pasta itself. That really tastes like it was cooked in a pan from real pasta. Which I mean it was cooked in a real pan.

I know but pasta of that thickness in reality if you just bought it out of a packet like actual Much longer. Which would take much longer. I think it could maybe have given another minute. It was slightly al dente which I find pleasing. I'm not against al dente. In fact I'm not against his friend Peter dente or his mum dente or dad dente. I'm all in for this. Donny dente. Al Dente's my friend. Right let's go for the kimchi rose here. This is going to be interesting. Get some

nose niff, naff nuff niss. To be fair it smells like most kimchi I've had which is a nice bouquet of spices and sweet notes. Well kimchi has a bad smell. It has a rotten cabbage sort of smell. Oh I don't really, That seems quite nice to me. That's why they have to have special compartments in Korean fridges to keep the kimchi in, because it gives off gas as it ferments. And he's had a big spoonful of the kimchi rose. That's meant to be a kimchi and tomato base sort of flavour mix. That's really interesting. Oh yeah, there's garlic on the nose.

To be fair, I'll just say this, it just tastes and feels like a really nice pasta bowl with a bit of, you know, ragu kind of thing. Yeah, like a ragu style. Okay. It has a bit of the kimchi there, definitely. But it's more Italian than it is kimchi. The kimchi is taking a back seat. You'll see what I mean. Okay. Get into it. It's strangely quite a light flavour as well. Quite kind of like, vegetable-y. Again, I'm getting that lovely mouth feel that they've done. There's a smokiness, almost like a bacony smokiness, yeah? Yeah I would agree with that, there's a smokiness there. There's definitely a smokiness, that's quite

pleasing. Like roasted tomatoes or something. Yeah yeah, almost bacony, almost sort of charred tomato. Charred tomato. I know because it's such a funny sounding word, isn't it? Char tomate, and... Char tomate, taramaisalata, char tomate, combine my char tomate, tomara salata. What is it? Combine my char tomate, tomara salata. Everyone, he's a notorious farte. A notorious farte. Char de tomate... I'm looking for the kimchi there. Taramaisalata.

Paul, I'm looking for the kimchi. I'm not finding it. No, not really, right? But that's why I didn't think it was so on the nose. Still pleasant and doesn't have that artificiality that the beef Alfredo, the bulgogi Alfredo suffered from. Stop, stop. I know, it's bad. I just can't go, oh, Alfredo.

I can't do it. All the owls. It's al dente Alfredo. Al Sharpton. Yeah, owls. It's al dente, alfredo, al sharpton. Yeah, owls about that then. I got a mid-eat, like an eating spit take. Those are pretty good.

They are pretty good. I would say they're definitely more leaning to the Italian flavour than anything Korea based. That's what they're going for. Which is fine. Which is fine. That's definitely what they're going for. The keeping the Korean there is an afterthought. It's not a true fusion. Basically, they're going for a sort of Italian style instant noodle thing. Aren't they?

Tagliatelle, a tagli-tangle-chini. Just presenting it in a way that's very familiar to that audience. I could see this going somewhere as a whole brand sub-brand for them. They could go for a much cheesier one. I'd like to see that. A Carbonara-y one. Carbonara was what I was thinking. I liked them both.

Carbonara, tomato, salsa, lata, char-tomato, and the notorious Fata. Hehehehehehehehehe't forget the... Charred tomato and carbonara in my Taro... Charred tomato, the torian's father, Taro, Marsalata. Carbonara. You know what they called me in school? What? The Fanny Parter.

No one called you that. They did, they all did. Yeah. They all did! Because you went to an American school where Fanny made something else, didn't you? I didn't go to an American school. Yeah, you did for this joke.

No, those were good. Yeah. Those were very good and Samyang are very confident. Top of the game. Top of the game. They're a confident noodle company and I like that they're trying to, you know, they're trying to escape the bulldack prison. Well they're trying to diversify aren't they? Yeah. You know, they can't all be known for their bloody hot spicy chicken sauce. Hot chicken ramen, that can't be the only thing. Only gets you so far. Yeah. It's for people who like intense heat or YouTubers. I'll be looking forward to tasting any new tangle flavours that come out. And if they do, they're going to be here on this podcast first. I feel miserable saying

that. They will be. Right, let's wrap this episode up. No, we need a score. You gave a score to the Alfredo. I gave it to both. I said 3.75 for each. For each? You didn't think that the kimchi rose edged it because of the lack of sort of more, it was more amplitude. It was more amplitude. Yeah. If I had to give an extra point five, then yeah, I would give it the rose.

I'd definitely give the rose an extra point five because the artificial sweetness is letting it down a bit there. Yeah. Alfredo Bulgagi. Bugogi Alfredo. It's getting a complicated word to say, isn't it? So, you know what? In all, we've had a good selection of noodles today. We're all about the noodles on this show. Cheap Show is the noodle show to listen to if you like noodles. Please let us know, is it a deck? Is it a puck? They were a very puck like those ones. Or is it a cake of instant noodles? Or is it a... What else? A deck works fine. A biscuit. Could be a biscuit. But again, when you use biscuit or cake, you're already

referring to other food stuffs. Well yeah, because biscuit has a... A deck works fine. A biscuit! Could be a biscuit, but again, when you use biscuit or cake, you're already referring to other foodstuffs. Well yeah, because biscuit has a... A deck is a shape that is like that. It's deck shaped. It's not, it's a puck. It's a puck of noodle. I'm just going to have to die on that hill. You're going to die on the puck of noodle hill?

Yes. That is a sentence that no one needed to have said ever. Well, I said it and now I'm owning it because... I'm going to die on the Taramata La tomato la tomato hill. I'm gonna go up the Charter Marta hill right and I'm gonna call for Dicky Boy Churdlington because I need a tip. It's a pariah marta on the tomato la char tomato. Oh stop press the button. Come on say it. Press the fucking button! You fucking hack! Goodbye, farewell. It is time to say goodbye for Cheap Show for another week.

We'll be back next week with more cheap fun. I don't know why he's losing it. He's losing it everyone. Do you want me to... I know we have an extra episode to record today as well and I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I need you to have a little word with your girlfriend and ask her to turn the heating down just for a little while please. Alright. I can't do it. I'm sweating my ass off here.

Alright. I mean I will also put that down to your ill health. I'm just going to go ahead and say that. It's not my health. It is. Do you know what Paul? Yeah? I'm looking forward to pointing at you. How many press ups did you do today?

Don't do any. I did 12 and yesterday, OK? And I walked three miles and did 12 press ups. I can't do things like that because my back's fucked. So if I do any of it, it fucks my back. I'm not saying that. Just saying. It seems like you're making fun of my disability.

Shape-wise, we'll see who's in shape when it comes to the sports day. Yeah, we're doing a sports day when the weather gets better. We'll see who's in shape for that. I'm going to ace your ass. Just don't believe that. We're going to do egg and spoon race. We're going to do a sack race. We'll do the 100 meters. Just don't believe that. We're gonna do egg and spoon race. We're gonna do a sack race. We'll do the 100 meters.

100 meter sprint. Yeah. And then we'll do, I don't know, javelin or something. Dick javelin. You'd lose that one. Cause I could do the javelin and the 100 meters with the same cocker.

I could do the pole vote. It's like, and three, two, one, bang, get me cock out. Oh, you know what? Over the finishing line. You know what? Over the finishing line. I could do the pole vote. It's like, and three, two, one, bang, get me cock out. You know what? Over the finishing line. You know what? Over the finishing line. I could do mushroom impersonation. Yeah, you could.

You could lie in the grass with your cock out. But a mushroom? Well, give me a minute. Oh, it's a bigger one. You just put a little smurf by your balls for size so you can get an idea of the... I would never put a smurf by my balls. You could, right underneath your little mushroom.

We'll see who's in shape, okay? I hope you do get into shape, but I doubt you will. I'm confident. I'm doing press-ups every day. All right, good. See, yeah. All right, good, you're doing a press-up every day. Well done.

I'm doing a rising amount of press-ups every day. Yeah, good. Surprising amount, I think the word is. When you say two. I'll do one now. Go on, then do one now. Well, do as many press-ups you can do while I do the admin.

Ugh! So, coming up. I'll do one now. Go on then do one now. Well, I do as many press what you could do while I do the admin so Coming oh Yeah, that will do I'll do I'll make it I do here we go now we see who's in shape everyone Do through do four five and we'll see if you can continue with no you need to get your arms out further You need oh fuck, you know, you're small man. You need to get your arms out further you need you need to get your arms out further a little bit further like this no why like this and then your feet fully extended yeah oh my god you can't do it at all no because I don't want doing this then you go down put your Yes, there we go. One. Two. Three. All the way down. Four.

Five. Six. Seven. That's it! That's it! Ah! You got to seven! I could have maybe done one more. Oh. Oh.

It's good, isn't it? Goodbye everyone. I'm not doing admin now. I'm not doing... To the Chiefs You're Not Good at UK. Well done, Paul. And thank you to patrons. That's good. You rose to the challenge, mate. See you next week. I did not doing... To the cheapskate.co.uk. Well done, Paul. And thank you to patrons. That's good. You rose to the challenge, mate. See you next week.

I did 12 of those. Fucking hell, bye.