CheapShow - Ep 428: The Podcast Killaz

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

Cor Blimey, it's another "real time" episode of the podcast as Paul & Eli try to cram a meaty Price of Shite game into 60 mins. Eli is off to America to celebrate his 50th birthday and so Paul has requested an easy edit, so it’s time for another uncut, rambling and ranting edition of the economy comedy podcast. Thanks to another PO Box delivery, they have plenty to wade though to score those delicious p’twings! There’s some kitchenware, more Chas N Dave music, some games and a hideous piece of houseware destined for the bin! Not only all that but Paul & Eli manage to squeeze in a quick game of 1980s TV trivia too. It’s a big, stuffed, typically manic episode of CheapShow that Eli better not ruin with his “podcast killing” behaviour! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-428-the-podcast-killaz And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello, I'm little Johnny chimpanzee frying pan man. Orr, orr! Right, okay. Just a little bit of context. This is the second take of this. This is the second take of this. And we agree, between us, that it wasn't particularly successful. The idea is that we were generating, we're particularly funny.

However, however. I've come in with a blinder, I think you'll all agree. I am Mr. Mickey Monkey from Chogny Bong Bong Street, or whatever it was you said. Now that's even better. Let's workshop this. I'm Chimney Bong Bong-o. I'm Little Tim the Matchstick Tombo Jumbo. Stop just saying anything that pops into your head. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Because here's the other bit of background behind the curtain stuff for this episode. We're recording two and a go, right? Two and episodes in one day. Two and a go. Because Eli's the other bit of background behind the curtain stuff for this episode We're recording two and a go right two and episodes in one day to realize off to a Florida two in a go to it I hope to do it. He still works. We're doing two and a go to it I go and at this point in real life Eli It's in Florida probably having a lovely time with his family and friends out there If I was gonna have sex with two people would I say two in a go? Yeah, you would. I'm going for a two in a go. Yeah. Or if you had a poo and a pee at the same time.

Oh, I'm going for a poo and a poo and a two in a go. I'm going for a two and a go. And a tinkle. Poo and a two and a go and a tinkle. All right, well, Eli's decided that sentences are... I'm tinkle tinkle, the minkle man. I've got a ripply bloom bloom. Or more esoteric concepts this week, I guess.

Oh, I'm esoteric Eric with my ferric ferrit. Mate, you're gonna have to pull up your socks. I'm a big magnet. You're gonna have to pull up your socks. That's my ferrit on that magnet. Because I've come up with Donner eggs. Esteric. And Chibnobly Richard or whatever his name is.

Chibnobly Richard. What was his name? Chilbanian? I actually think we should give up. We haven't said anything worth any shit. I know but we've got to get into the real time aspect. It's about three minutes. One minute five, five seconds. One minute five, five seconds it was. So Paul, what's going on with this week's episode?

Well, the point is, I'm trying to make before I'm so rudely interrupted by gob nonsense, is that Eli is away and I've had to bank a few episodes. So this one, to make my life easier, is going to be one of our patented real-time episodes, where as soon as the credits go, we record, and for one hour, we keep on chugging. All goodness, all one hour, all go. But don't worry, for we have a packed price of shite to get through in this one-hour spectacular.

And look. It's a massive bespoke price of shite. It's sitting here in the living room, bestried a table. Bestried. A top and bestried. And it's a big box. I've just given it a whack.

It's lovely and it's packed full and it's lovely. I'll say lovely, lovely, lovely. And you've seen nothing in this box, have you? I've seen, if I was in the box, I'd see very little because it'd be quite dark. Right. Christ. I haven't got the energy for this. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two.

I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two.

I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two.

I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two. I haven't got the energy for two the button yeah or hit the button or whatever it is whatever what about this what twinkle my nan man don't you almost he almost leapt up I did all those pounds just for your throated pounced and pounded pounced and pounded oh no no no no no no no no no let's just say this you're grounded I'm well rounded I've pounced and pounded you're grounded and if you don't behave you'll get pounded. That's well founded. By my mounded...

You're mounded. Flesh lump. Your mounded flesh lump? Mate, can we start this link again? No. Oh you don't want to do this one. I like it. I think it's been some good work done here. Right, so anyway...

Fleshlight! We were all thinking it. We were both thinking it. I wasn't thinking fleshlight. You had formed the concept fleshlight in your mind's eye. Ladies and gentlemen, after the credits it becomes a real time episode. Hold on tight because we're getting into the price of right shite. God! Try that bit again, ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen, hold on tight because we're going to play playing the price of shite in real time tonight. Is that better? It was better but I interrupted and you said play play. Play play. Ladies and gentlemen, hold on tight because we're going to play playing the price of shite in real time tonight. Is that better? It was better but I interrupted and you said play play. Play play. All right, let's do it one more time. Come on, every word enunciate. Pong, pong, pong. Think of it like that.

The words come out all at once. Patoing. Yeah. Patoing and bing. Just think of each word as an atomic little... This is all they... ...pistol nugget. Ladies and gentlemen, that's right.

Let's play the price of shite tonight on Cheap Show, alright? Very good. Cheap Show to the mother of all things. Cheap Show to the mother of all things. It's the Price of Shite. Cheap Show to the mother of all things. Welcome to Cheap Show.

Welcome to Cheap Show. And we're going. And we're off. An hour to do a colossal Price of Shite. Let's get right into this. Now, it's Eli. While I'm rummaging the box for the letter, can you please explain to people what the price of shite is and its accompanying scoring system? Price of shite is a game that we play. It's a price guessing game, Paul. Prices of paper.

Yes, try not to make too much noise with the paper. He's put the paper over his head. I'm a pretty lady. He's a pretty lady. I've made a bonnet with the paper. Paper shawl. Oh, we have one. Price of shite is the price guessing game

we play here on Cheap Show. We take it in turns to guess the price of items often bought by our dear listeners. Can you stop? It's really annoying me. Yeah, I'm opening the box. I'm making more of an effort for the listener. Uh, each item will be guessed the price of, and the normal rules are if you guess the exact price of an item exactly right, you get two points. And what, Paul, if I may interrupt you for a second, what are points known as in this game of ours? We call them petwings. They're called petwings. Two petwings, if you guess them... Do I be opening that fucking envelope?

I've got to get the two envelopes stuck together. He's having a little jeez, trying to get me distracted while he peers at the scores and fucking cheats. So, just let you know that he's well known as a cheater at this game. I'm fucking not well known as a cheater. It's a documented cheater. You're a documented cheater. There's this very famous cheater in the world of PokerPool

called Men the Master. He's an American-Vietnamese poker player called Men the Master. You're Paul the Master. Anyway, so if you guess the price exactly right, you get 25... There's more paper. It's not quite a lot of paper in this box. It really is fucking annoying you doing that. Is there anything actually in that box? I mean, I can see one record. And... There's more paper. There's generally lots of paper in here.

If you guess the price but you're not quite right, either side of the real price by 25p or less, you get one point. One point! And those are the... because it's very hard to guess the exact price of something. Those single betweens are usually what's sealed the deal. Usually winner. Now we do have a very special extra. What's the word I'm looking for? Bonus point. And that is the quid gambit. Now, often in cheap show, an item will come along and it will be priced as a pound. Now, if you guess or want to risk it, you can say that that item is a pound.

And if you get it right and it is a pound, not only do you get the two for the correct points, but an extra two for playing the quid's gambit. So you get four potwings if you play the quid's gambit successfully. Right. Because over the years, quid has come up a lot. And so we've got this extra rule. Unless the letter, this is a bespoke box sent in by a listener. Thank you very much, whoever you are. We'll get to it in a minute. We'll get to that in a minute. But they may have their own rules. There's sometimes there are rules such as bonus rules where you sort of order the items or sometimes there was another thing. Sometimes items are free and if you guess that the one that costs nothing you get an extra per twink for that sometimes. Sometimes there's things like that. Oh there's some bubble wrap in there as well. Now there's

been a letter sent with this huge price of shite. Paul please read it. Here we go it's reading a letter time. Let's get through this. Hi Paul and Eli it's Kirsty and Bryn here. Hello Kirsty, hello Bryn. In the box you'll find some shite for the price of shite game. time. Let's get through this. Mangy. A-A-N-G-M-E-R-I-N-G. Ang Meringue. They live in a place called Ang Meringue. They do not live in a place called Ang Meringue. What's it say then? It says Ang Meringue. Hi Paul and Eli. I'm Ang Meringue. It's, it's Kirsty and Bryn here.

What? What? In the box, you'll find some shite for the Price of Shite game. Why are you reading it like a woman's own letter or something? Or like Esther Ranton. A woman's own letter? Yeah, like the magazine Woman's Own. Or Esther Ranton on That's Life. I'm trying to impart some clarity and joy to this,

which you've destroyed. I'll impart some clarity. I don't know what that means yet. I know what it means. Bomb things. No, impart some clarity, right? Think about it. What's see-through?

What's clear? Glass. Spunk. Oh, no. Impart some clarity. When I get it in my eyes, I can't see through it. I's clear? Glass. Spunk. Oh, no. When I get it in my eyes, I can't see through it. I'll put clarity juice all over you. Not clear. I'm clarity juice!

What does she do? Oh, I'm a junior editor. Fucking boring. Bye. Go on, let her read it. Hi Paul and Eli, it's Kirsty and Bryn here. We've read that bit. Shut your mouth. Skip to the bit where I couldn't get the name. I'm going to run her read it. Hi Paul and Eli, it's Kirsty and Bryn here. We've read that bit. Shut your mouth. Skip to the bit where I couldn't get the name. I'm going to run up to it.

You're eating into the real time of this episode. You and I both know we need to fucking fill this with waffle. Hi Paul and Eli, it's Kirsty and Bryn here. In the box you'll find some shite for the Price of Shite game. We went to some charity shops around a place called Rustington, West Sussex, near to where we live in Ang-ang-Meringue Hahahaha Yeah, it's that place, Ang-Meringue Ang-Meringue, I never heard of it

Yeah, Ang-Meringue I think it's called Okay, alright, go on There are six items Alright, this is now we're into the juice Yeah We're into the fucking nutnuts We're into the meat of it There are six items for the price of shite

Yeah And also some games from charity shops just for you to play. Maybe. Oh okay. Maybe for Ganon's Golden Games. Okay. To everyone who's not aware, Ganon's Golden Games is another segment where Paul picks a game up. It's just a segment where we play board games. Yeah. That's exactly what I was going to say. I don't think it's important for this. You know you saying let's get on with it three times, you know what that's exactly what I was gonna say. I don't think it's important for this... You know, you saying let's get on with it three times, you know what that's doing? Making it not get on with it.

You get on with it. Now, do you know what's happening now, when you make me angry? We don't get on with it. Ganna's Golden Games, where we play board games. We hope you like them, the games. Paul, would you stop rustling? But those sheep ain't gonna get out of this by myself.

The price of shite items altogether is alright. So we got a ceiling. Oh, we got a window. It's not a fucking window. You wanted a window last week. Because it is a window. It's a technical term, meaning a price range, you fucking nitwit. No, six items. They, we actually have an actual price of a combined price for all the items, Paul, okay? Yeah.

I'm sorry I called you a nitwit then, but fuck me you are. That's the kind of like show killer comment that could ruin this show forever. Shut up. Don't you use the N-word here. £13.49 all six items came to. £13 and what? £49.49, so what? 49 pence. So that is the actual price.

Now it's best for us not to think too much about that because then we'll be doing all little micro adjustments and that's not the way we like to play. After all, you do get between if you're 25 P above or below the actual price. So you could still get, you know, a lot of p'twings. You can still get six p'twings and never get an exact price. 52 minutes left!

There's plenty of time left, mate. Come on then. Why, come on! Come on then! There's plenty of time! I'm going to finish reading the letter at my own fucking pace and then we'll get on to it, OK? You're going to read the letter with your special pace?

What did you say? I'm going to cover the letter in my special pace. Oh dear. Later on. The price of shite items altogether, 13.49. I'm going to cover the letter in my special place. Oh dear. Later on. The price of shy items altogether 1349. Yeah, I've written that down. I have put the answers.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. Who is it who's put the answers? Kirstie or Bryn? One or the other. But they say I here. I have put the answers and where they were bought from in an envelope. Cuddles for Riley.

That is Paul's cat. That's my cat. He's much better now, thank you. But he's ancient. Oh shit, we don't have the prices. It's fallen out, maybe it's in the box. Hang on. It shouldn't have been so rough when you were throwing everything out. No, it's over there. Is that the one back there? Yes, you twine it. Oh yeah, I just opened it. That was the other envelope that you brought out a minute ago.

Right. I forgot there were two. Fucking hell. Really testing my patience. What would we have done if there were no answers? We would have been fucked. Well, good thing I could see where you absentmindedly placed them. Right, well, I am now going to put this.

Get Multifibbage on that. Where is Multifibbage? He's there. I literally know where things are in your room better than you. It's because you're a nosy prick. Fuck off. Right, put Multifibbage on. How will Grubble do you want Nuders Poach being protected from Grubble?

Grubble, Grubble, Grubble, Grubble. There's Multifibbage those points being protected? Gribble grubble. Gribble grubble. Here's Mulchy Fibberge. Say hello to him. Hello Mulchy. Hello wheelie wheelie wheelie. I'm out here gribbly grubbling today. Are you alright? I've heard you've got some points for me, Gribble grubble. Yes, if you could just protect those with your feral pagan energy. Put my dirty fucking ass on it.

Yes, that's what I mean. Blibble blubble blibble blubble. Go and fuck off over there please. Put my dirty fucking ass on it. That's what I mean yes. Go and fuck off over there please. I'm going to put him over here. There he is. Sitting now atop the points. Ok Paul and you're going to take the points and introduce the items to me please. And we're ready to play. Now, should I sing this song?

I think we should because I want your little guy to come in and give... I can't remember his name now unfortunately. It doesn't matter, he just has to come in, right? I've got to get him out of his box. Oh, God. He's manipulated that box. Here we go, I've got him. You ready? Tinkle, tinkle, tong. Can you please?

He's purring. No, I want him to be quiet for a minute or else I'll fucking put him down. Quiet down, little one. With extreme prejudice. Quiet down, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Oh yeah, he's sleeping. My boot. I'll put my boots right down his fuck. I'll crush his little skull with my boot. You fucking touch him, and that's a podcast killer.

Stop, stop threatening the podcast. Knit with now this. You're crossing fucking lines today, mate. All right? I just want a little bit of quiet while I start the fucking finging. He's quiet, he's just excited. I'm stroking him. Go on! What was that? Come on then! That sounded like a pigeon or an owl was in here. No, it's not a chumbly-wumbly-witch or whatever

his name is. What are you doing? I just heard something. Did you do a little- No, we've got a ghost cat in this house. That's what it is. Is there a cat in here? No, a ghost cat. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. Dead right. Thank you very much. Put him back in his box.

Put him back in the fucking box. Dead right. He's just like Gremlins, everyone. Thank you very much. Now put him back in his box. Put him back in the fucking box! Did I try? He's just like Gremlins, everyone. Now- 49 minutes to go. He's gonna keep saying that. He's gonna keep counting this down. I'm confused.

So it's taken us 10 minutes to open the box. We haven't got any other content, Paul. So you better fucking have some delaying tactics. The thing is, the letter says there's some games in here, right? It says games in there as well for Gannon's Golden Games what are they are they this is what I'm saying are they part of no those are just for Gannon's Golden Games all right because I don't think there are six items and let's just start with one here's the first one and it's cut on the side

why because when I opened it with my Stanley knife. Oh my God. I gashed it. It's fine. I only trimmed it. You fucked it completely. No, just on one side. You completely fucked this. And here's the other thing. I've already got that one. I've already got this. All right, Paul.

But Jesus Christ. What? Well, I didn't know there was going to be a record and it had to be fair. I did cut it near the top. It was just that it was stacked on the side. Fair enough. So come on now. And it doesn't look like you've hurt the actual disc.

I haven't hurt the disc at all. You've really messed up the cover. I've just sliced the edge off. This is, as advertised on TV, Chaz and Dave's Knees Up. Hey-oh. It says include songbook. Is there a songbook? Yeah, there is. Oh, did you ruin that as well?

I don't know. I haven't opened it because I panicked. But yeah, the old... Oh, the songbook's intact! Well done! We could pair that up with a better... you have a copy because I bet you're... No, it's got the other one. It's got the songbook as well. To be fair, I've yet to go to a charity shop, find one of these albums and they not come with one. Weird. This is Jamboree Bag Number two so this is a whole series. I think they did look like the five of them. They are party records essentially. Yes. In the Stars on 45 sort of style or Mrs Mills or yeah these are records in the easy listening sphere people designed to just put on at a party whilst you can drink and have fun. That's it it's all built around clap traps. They're long playing LPs.

Clap, clap, clap, clap tracks. It's equivalent to someone putting on, oh, party music on Spotify. But less horribly dystopian and exploitative of everyone involved. Algorithm driven. Algorithmically driven hellscape that we find ourselves in. But these were quite successful successful I seem to believe. They must have been because they made loads of them.

Well they made loads of them and they all come with songbooks so they're all designed for parties to have a good old knees up around. But Chaz and Dave also had like number one records as well. So they must have been raking it in for a few years in the early 80s. Late 70s, early 80s was probably their most verdant time. TV music they were doing. Always on TV. They were doing a lot of stuff.

know, verdant time. TV music they were doing, you know, they were doing a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I can remember them being hated by a certain kind of sneery middle-class person, i.e. my parents at the time. It's funny, do you know what it is with Chaz and Dave? It's like they've gone round the horn. It's like they started off with like respect, the rockin'y thing, the classic piano with the cockin'y music. Yeah, and they were session musicians who are, by definition, respected musicians. And then they do their own thing as Chaz and Dave, and then they make a few hit albums and they're successful, but then that over exposure maybe on all those platforms probably got to the point where they were seen.

I wouldn't say intentionally, but maybe sadly, along with Black Lace and things like that. As NAF, but they were never as bad. But they were never NAF, because they had true artistic musical like a soul. Talent and songwriting, everything. And a love for the genre and blues and keeping that old music alive. Ain't No Pleasing You is a heartbreaking song. And it's a banger. And it's a banging pop tune. Anyway, we've got a lot of love for Chas and Dave here, don't we? So you can imagine that eventually you wear out Your Welcome and then that becomes... Yeah, their ubiquity maybe was what it was. And they're associated with a NAff part of light entertainment of the 80s they were but they weren't as naff as it or as the rest of it were no no no no completely different postcode

to that shit yeah then you get to you know like just before was it Chaz died or one of them died a few years ago no Dave I believe past either way just before then they were kind of getting their respect back in terms of like the musical press taking them more seriously and And they were digging a new album, didn't they? Yeah, they were more mature, they liked stuff. Like an acoustic version of their stuff, yeah. And I would say a large part of that was probably thanks to Jules Holland.

Because I think his kind of music and also the Hootenannys all kind of felt like it was a natural movement from Chas and Dave. Oh my God, we watched some of the Hootenanni this year. Fucking hell, mate. Do you wanna just call it a coke party and be honest and get it done? It's not even that. It's just the fucking just self-congratulatory smug. Yeah, it's a very smug show.

Just some of the performance so fucking over-raw and cheesy and shit. It's just like the death of culture. And I was fucking high as fuck and drunk and it was freaking me out. Yeah, well, I watched the Sophie Alex Becks the Countdown to 2000 or whatever. Wasn't that on the Hootonane? No it was on BBC on the other side it was dead good. I think we saw a bit of that as well. We're on the dance floor, let it all feel the beats and she sang some good old. She had another hit she had that hit again.

Fair play to her most people don't get one. I know but she's had one that was re-hit. Bought? Re-hitted as in reheated-hit. Re-hitted. As in reheated. Yes, re-hitted. Re-hitted in the microwave for 15 minutes. Yes, he re-hitted it in the microwave of a fucking,

of a film release. Which happened so, which is something that used to happen in the 80s as well, didn't it? Yeah. A song from the 60s, such as Let It Be, Benny King, would become a huge hit again. Yeah. Decades later.

And I suppose this is the equivalent, because when was the original? When was that originally? Well, it's been like 90s. So like 98, 99 maybe. And yeah, so over 20 years ago. That is funny to think, though, because, yeah, because it's the same gap between Let It Be and Let It Be, the movie and the late 60s.

When he first put that out. Yeah. As the gap between when she put that Murder on the Dance Floor and then salt burn came out two years ago. There you go. Fuck me. Oh, I'm ancient. Yeah. I'm just hurtling towards the grave.

Yeah. Anyway. It's like the Xbox advert they banned. Where someone's hurtling towards the grave. I think the advert's really good, but basically you see a woman pregnant and then she fires out a baby from her, Coochie. I remember. And as it's flying through the air, it's aging,

so it's a teenager, the middle age, and then it's a corpse, then it goes right into the coffin. And then the advert was like, life's too short for not having fun. Was that a 90s thing? No, it would've been 2000, because that's when the Xbox came out. Anyway, Chaz and Dave album.

This is the knees up, it's got all the lyrics in there. What's the, can I have a look? I wanna see what, because usually they're themed. Track list, you want the track list? No, no, no, because usually they're themed, one side is this type of music, the other side is boogie woogie or rock and roll so i can see some problematic numbers here um well there's also a point the third uh the third

tune in we have a tune called paul don't anyone speak english yeah but that's one of those we're on holidays in spain kind of. I don't think it's like they're walking through the city centre and complaining about that. Turn that noise down. Because if there's one thing I believe Chas and David are true to is that they love multiculturalism. Beer belly, behave yourself. Where's that? There's the one about fat women as well. Ain't no pleasing you, one of their greatest. I miss you girl, Lonnie Dee, wallop, rabbit,

wallop. There's like a mix of theirs and all what standards that's right well usually they're themed oh my god mustn't grumble this album is dedicated to chas's mum daisy without her help none of these songs these songs would have been forgotten which is interesting another way of looking at this preservation of music that was that was disappearing from the consciousness well and it and these dates is entirely gone but there was a whole tradition of singing around the piano wasn't there that That went on for years and music hall and songs like that. And it's like it's hidden away in pockets of London now. I don't think

it really exists. No it does. I went to some pub. Five years ago. Yeah but it was a well known pub near, I want to say like Notting Hill, that whole area. Right not the East End there. No no no it was a pub inting Hill, but it's like you go in, there's an old lady on the piano and everyone started singing. It was like a thing people knew was going to happen on a Sunday. Yeah, yeah. And like I think a lot of people were there, like tourists just to watch it with amazement.

Yeah, it's more of a touristy thing, but it was a grassroots, an actual thing that would happen in neighborhoods in London for decades. You know what I mean? Like they'd all sing around the piano. And what these jamborees are trying to sort of give a flavour of, aren't they? But they're not the first people who did it. There's loads of those records. Different people playing the old piano, the old Joanna. Keeping that music alive from an old generation.

Yes. But like you say, they were multicultural because they were very into the blues as well. All sorts of music, really, when you think about it. Because there's a little bit of everything in there at times. Rockne, they invented a genre. They did and they aced it. Right, that's so how much though Eli you're gonna go first. I'm playing my quids gambit. Already? I'm just gonna do it. Fuck it. I'm gonna put that down as the Q. Qid's gambit. QG. Right, I know that's fine. Now I don't...

QG. Right, that's fine. Now I don't... well the thing is I've noticed that vinyl is all over the place price-wise at the moment. Also, a quid is a very normal price for a vinyl. It's not worth a quid now that you fucking completely destroyed the cover. But the problem with the Queen's Gambit, the quid's gambit, is if you see someone play the quids gambit, you know if they are right, you're going to get fucked. I know that's the quandary I'm in. At least two betwings. I'm going to go ahead and say £1.50 because I'm going to... Oh, not £1.25. I'm going to ride this coaster.

£1.50 isn't good, Nick. It has to be said, it's perfect, the vinyl. And if you hadn't completely shredded the cover... It's not as bad as he's saying. I love these little scenes where I go about you breaking stuff. Yeah you break my heart. Oh yeah. Laugh that off cheeky. Right so that's 150 and you said a quid let's see what the next item is. Okay. Right. He's not letting me look in the box everyone. He's been very secretive. This looks like. Oh it's a nice bit of shit this.

Wow. This is tat. Very much on the tat scale. Oh can I say that again? Let me say this. This is tat. This is primo tat. This is tat. I'm gonna tat that ass. You go, I'm gonna tat that ass. I'm gonna tat that ass. I'm gonna tat that ass. I'm gonna not say that again. Now, this...wow.

I...ooh. Alright, just tell them what it is, because right now you're just doing an impression of the whole of the carry-on cast. Ooh. Shit. This is the wearable kitchen timer. It is a chick, a chick as in a baby chicken, a baby chicken kitchen timer, which is on a lanyard. Shall I open it? If you want to, you wear it around.

It will ruin it. It will ruin it. Depends on if you think it's mint on card. It is mint on card. It's not mint on card. It's utterly mint on card. It's just on card. It's on card and it's mint. What else? What does it say on the back? There's writing. Okay, here we go. Operating instructions. So basically, just to re-clarify, it is a plastic, you know, timer that is in the shape of a little chick chick and you wear it around your neck. It's yellow and has a little, what's that, the crown on a chick's head called? Crown? It's not there, is it? The red flange?

The fringe maybe. It's not the flange. A flange is a vagargin. Is it? Yes. In colloquial. I've never heard that. I thought a flange was something in a car, which is about paddles and shit. No, a flange is a... Or a boat. It's a sound effect. Okay Google, what's a flange?

It's a sound effect. Oh. It's a protruded lip or rim or something. Well, I don't know what else is there. Ignore the rest of it. Well done though. That is that it's a fringe. Okay. Well done. But it is also sound effect. Shut up, mate. Shut up.

Shut up now. I'm opening it because it's on card. Yeah. So this is what, let's just say in the kitchen, you've got the rice on, and you don't know how long that's been in for. Maybe it's got to be in for 20 minutes. You set 20 minutes. And then, oh no. You've got to add your neck.

The chicken's been in the oven. That's got to be in the oven for 40 minutes. So you set another timer for 40. So you can have multiple timers going on. And then they all go off at different times. So you can keep a track of what's cooking. Oh, it's got a magnet. It's got one little pull thing.

Oh, yeah. Should I pull it? Yeah. That will set the, that will start it off. Provide the batteries aren't completely dead after all these years. Cause this looks like an early 2000s, late 90s thing. No, it's doesn't seem to be coming on. Oh, I mean it's no great loss. It would have been, it would have been nice if it went macaque. Well look, there it is. It's nice. It's a nice dangler. It's if you, you don't, I guess it is addressing the problem of putting the timer down and forgetting where you put it, but then surely you'd hear it.

Yeah. So why does that even matter? Well I think it's because if you put it in one place and you want to get to it in time, it might be across the kitchen or you might have your hands full. So maybe it's just- It just makes it convenient it's just there. It's a convenience, yeah. Yeah, okay.

Has it got a magnet on the back as well? Is that what that black patch is? Oh right, you can put it on the fridge, yeah. Has he got a magnet on the back as well? Is that what that's black? You can put it on the fridge. Yes. Yeah magnet on the back. Very good Metal yeah. Yeah, it's good. That works. Don't stick it on the mic of all the fucking places It's making noise violent loud noise and I was making press And this is a podcast killer. It's the third podcast killer. With the mic stand is a podcast killer. Three strikes and you're out usually. Anyway, you have to guess the price on this, Paul. Remember, we're looking at six. How much was it? 13 altogether.

13.50 almost altogether. Right. I'm going to. See that? He's trying to ignore the 50p there. He hates half, he hates any fraction of a number. Paul, watch him be mean to fractions for the rest of the show. I'm gonna say that that... He won't use a fraction. I'm gonna regret this but I'm gonna say the quids gambit on that. No, I think that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. I'm saying £1.75. I mean none of these could be a quid in the end and we'd be quite the fools. Yes, there was no mention of the quid. No, there's no question in it.

We're just playing a freestyle. Did you read the back of the letter? I can't remember if you read the back of the letter. Yes, I read the whole fucking thing. Oh, maybe I didn't. Oh! It's because you wouldn't let me. Here we go. Blame Ganon for the fact that you're an incompetent chod. I have put the answers and where they were brought from in an envelope. Well that must be that. Cuddles for Riley. Yes I did it. Okay yeah good fine. And then

we mentioned Riley. Yeah we did. And it says PSC you at the next live show. Which is October 18th I think. 19th. Check the website. Well if you're a patron you'll have the link already to get tickets. And guess what I forgot to mention we're going to have some magazines there as well for sale and new cheap show pin badges for the Cheerful EFL podcast festival. And the design has been done by Tony yet again. And I really like it. And I'll tell you what it is. It's your face and my face split down the middle joined together. So it's kind of like a, you know, like my face is on the left and yours is on the right sealed. Is it round? Yeah, round. Yeah, it's's good I'll show you it later

and then I'll show you the artwork and then I'll show you my penis again and then I'll show you my cupboard and then I'll show you my penis and then I'll show you that book I bought and then I'll show you penis everything you see will be will be interrupted by a penis pick in between. Flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop, flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop flop I'm going to go and get it. You like an open this one? Oh, and it's a little figurine or another of some sort and it's uh have a look at it covered in uh it looks like a killer whale

I can see through the bubble wrap. Is it a killer whale? Yes, it's a it's an orca statuette. Isn't it? Oh no, it's it's not It's a badger. It's very different. You can see how the top of a badger looks like a killer whale. Yeah, no, I can go with that. Everyone, with the monochrome. This is a textured little badger with his little claws. He's cut off half way.

Oh, and it's got a sticker on the bottom. I think this is... It feels like something you should put in the garden, like if it's coming out of the ground. It's a sitting animal. Is he sitting? I'm talking out of the ground. Because it looks like it's only half of him. Like the top half, like he's crawling out of the ground. It's a sitting animal. Is he sitting? I'm talking out of the ground. Because it looks like it's only half of him.

Like the top half, like he's crawling out of the ground. It's a little fucking badger. Badger! Care instructions. Put it on the ground and look at it. Weather resistant, it says. I would say it's an outdoor ornament. Yeah, you can put it in.

It's like a mold, though. You know what it reminds me of? Like, you know, those kids sets you could buy where it's like you pour mold into a like a latex. It's some kind of resin. Yeah. You know what I mean? You could paint it after I had a Ghostbusters one.

It does look like that, but this is ready made. Made in China. I'm going to say £2. Yeah. £2 for the badger. Is it badger? Yeah. It must be a badger. You can tell by its claws and distinctive black and white Yeah. Yeah. Two pounds for the badger. Is it badger? Yeah. It must be a badger. You can tell by its claws and distinctive

black and white furniture. Yeah. Right. So, two pounds you say for that? I'm going to say two pounds. Yeah. Oh. It's pretty good, Nick. Alright. Sticker on it, you know? Hmm. It's a resin badger. Hmm. I am also going to say, I'm going to say I'm gonna say 175. Okay. It's a resin badger and I like to

extrude spunk out out of my tajah. Right. Anything? No. The worst thing is this is a real-time episode if I cut this as I should that awful bit. Spunk out of the tajah? Now it comes out of the episode and then it's not real-time no more. Well don't why why would you cut me saying spunk out of the tajah? Because it's it's feckless don't, why would you cut me saying Spunker out of the tangent? Because it's feckless, isn't it? It's pointless. It's feckless. It adds nothing to the rich comedy tra- It adds nothing.

To the rich comedy tapestry of this podcast. The rich comedy bumstew. Oh, see what I mean? I can't even cut that out now. Can't cut any of your asinine jokes out. And mate, between you and me and the wall, I cut so much shit out of you every week. Fuck off. Like there's like literally hours of footage of Eli barking I could put together. between you and me in the wall I cut so much shit out of you out every week fuck off every like there's like literally hours of footage of Eli barking I could put together

I don't bark it's just me talking about something I feel passionate about which he fucking senses everyone there's nothing else in the box that oh god is that must be item four that's an item yeah I don't even know what that is.

This is a wall decoration, Paul. Shit. Three wooden hearts. One says... Do you want to do it into the mic? One says live. Yeah. One says laugh.

Oh fucking hell. What do you think the third one says? Love. It doesn't. Kill yourself. It says home. Oh fuck off. This is a cheap, horrible, tacky, nasty thing.

This is the stuff killing the world. Err, I mean it's wood at least. It's wooden string. But, but the point is it's still unnecessary resources for basically a Christmas card type sentiment. It's terrible and someone's used a really cheap sort of metallic silver pen to hand write those in and god it sucks so hard there are rivets on the home one which are little harp shaped rivet things

it's awful it's god it's making me feel bad just holding it where'd you hang it hang it up in the bedroom yeah live laugh home on your door handle we're home oh look Jeffery we're home because it says on the wall of laugh home oh now can I have fucking full anal go right then I wish you would cut some of this Yeah, I wish you would too because you've been quite a few anal gags recently. I like anal I've heard that rumor Up the pipe Mike, that's what they'll call you. I wish they did up the Chunta Manta. I don't know no I've caught it caught this random shit Manta very good. Now, it's your go to test the price of this

I think we can both agree our least favorite item so far now my dark heart He hates stuff like this. My dark heart says that this maybe should have been the quids gambit But I wish to God that no one paid a quid for that. You can change your quid's gambit there's nothing against that. True there is but I'm gonna go ahead and say 75p. Oh you're under a quid there. Now this is new I would say one terrible I think 150. Paul's gonna win everyone. I don't know cuz remember goes up goes up to 13.49 and so far How much have you spent? I've spent more than you have.

You've got one, two, three, four, five, six pound twenty-five you've said so far. Alright. And I've gone one, two, three, five, five fifty. Well it's not that much less. Let's see what else is in the box Paul. Well this is where I'm a bit confused, because you know they said the Ganon's Golden Games thing wasn't part of it. Well it must be, because... Because there's only six items. There's one big obvious item It's a keychain

It's a keychain with an N dangling off a key fob thing and it's made of resin with sparkles in and it's purple and orange and it's shit and Obviously belong to someone called Nigel or fucking nitwit. obviously belonged to someone called Nigel. Or fucking nitwit. Don't throw it at my nuts. I throw nitwit at your nuts. This sucks. It does, it sucks. I hate it.

I hate it so much. Could be a Z. Could be a Z. Yeah. Don't say Z. Appealing to the international audiences, aren't they? It's not like... I like those quirky accents those British guys do.

I like it So why would you use their bucket? Why would you use their word? Against yourself. No, I'm just saying it. I'm just saying leave it. It helps them recognize what we're saying What's this Zed they say Zed? I only know the letter Z so I don't know I don't know not in very like an old character He's no no, that's gonna you four fucking voices, Eli Silverman. What do you want to say? This is a piece of shit.

Do I have to guess the price? Do I expose my lack of talent right here and now? 75p. 75p for the key ring, please. Fuck you. I'm not writing that down. All your points are just... Come on. Stop being such a cunt. Write down.

Podcast killer. It's not. You see everyone listening right now. You see what he's doing? He's breaking this podcast up. I'm not. With every single microaggression he's doing. Microaggression this.

Microaggression that he does. Also, he causes penis microaggression. Ha ha ha ha. No, I crossed the line there. I did. I crossed the line. I'm sorry. You're killing the podcast, Paul. It's a podcast killer.

Right. What did you say? 75p? I said 75p for that. Right. I don't know. God. Awful. I mean, a lot of these you could say were quids-gamut material. Yeah. I am... Because I know what's last. I can see where this might go. But... It's big. It's a big bouquet. I've seen... I've glimpsed the bouquet.

I'm going to be funny in a weird way and just say 90p. It's hilarious. One of the most funny things you've ever said. I know I might be very witty to some. So everyone remember that bit on Cheap Show where he said 90p? Is the last one moment of the year Paul says 90p and he flagged it up as well. It's been funded.

Best moment of cheap show in 2025 last thing. Yeah, God, this sucks. Sorry, Brynn and God. Ready? Here we go. Sorry, Brynn. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Box sucks.

Close your eyes. Well, it's called the price of shite. It is shite and it is shite. So where have they failed? When your favorite item is literally a novelty to egg timer. Kitchen timer. Well, put your hand out.

You might think this one is the best one. Should I close my eyes? You need to give close eyes, put both hands out. It's big, it's a big thing. Yeah, it's a big thing. He's gonna thwop it, isn't he? Die! Put me warm hand in his hand.

Now go on, close it again. Yes. Ooh. It is an awful, horrible piece of shit that I can't wait to get out of this house. Ooh, this is an Emmanuel chair. Is that what they call it? Emmanuel. I don't know, but they're famous from that. Porn film. It's a wicker.

It's not wicker, it's rattan. Okay. I believe they call this rattan. It's a wicker. It's not wicker, it's Ratan. Okay. I believe they call this Ratan. It's a miniature Ratan chair. If they made it out of a ITV kids TV puppet, it would be a Roland Ratan chair. Wouldn't it? Bum bum. Bum him. It did, it did, that got me. Esther Rantan. Oh Esther Rantan. Maybe we should have done that instead like celebrities and cheers gags, you know. Esther Rantan. Yeah. Now there's a, this is miniature, I'd say it's about one third normal size. Yeah.

Like a doll size, really. It is, you can imagine almost a dolly sitting in that in a corner of a bedroom. Except they wouldn't be able to, Paul, because there's a bunch of artificial flowers on the seat. Yeah. It's a decorative miniature Rat-An chair with flowers on. It's what I would say a nan-pleaser. Do you know? God. You know, that would be- Well how would you please your nan with it? Like, I can put it on your arm and- Waffle up the chuffer. Waffle the chuffer with it. Waffle the chuffer, yeah, I do that

with me now. Does she get a hot chuff and needs to cool him down? You're right, I put a miniature Ratan chair on my fist and then Roger my nan with it. Oh no, I wouldn't say Roger. He's the man next door. You waft. Oh now you've wafted the flowers everywhere. Oh the glue bit. Oh this is a terrible thing. Mate. It's all going in the bin anyway. That bouquet ain't okay. Oh do you know what there's a powdery. You know that stuff they use to make. Do you know. Do you know that stuff they use to put flowers in that? It's all sort of powder foam.

Yeah, that's it. I haven't seen that since 1987. It's all got powder on my hands. It's a dirty thing. Thanks for forcing that. It's not my go to guess. Is it? No, it's your go. What have I got? £1, £2, £3. Oh, there's not going to be, I'm not feeling successful with this

Well, I never do so welcome to my world I might do want to go through the prices quickly see if I'm gonna amend them No, I want you to give me a price for this then we go for an amendment afterwards an amendment round I'm gone. I've done an error. What do you mean? You've done an area? You didn't write down what it was Album and what was the second thing? It was the egg time. It's not as easy as it looks Then what was the next thing we did after the egg timer I forgot now it was the was it that if love home home thing a heart and then it was the end then it was the end key fob and then what was the other one it was nothing was because we just written it down for 75 p and 90 p what

was that was that was the key fob Wasn't it key thing? Yeah, so what was the one before badger? Oh, yeah the badger resin badger Badger right got it. You were hidden out of sight. He keeps putting things over there. Yeah, I know Great idea close your eyes for the rest of time. He's turned his back on me Good thing I'm fucking here. Where is he? Oh blimey. I'll just have to relax and I like to relax with a wank So I'm gonna do that right now. He's gonna do the mouth noise now. Oh here we go mouth noise time Wouldn't it be funny if I actually started wanking right now? It wouldn't it would be strange and I would leave Oh, you're here, right? So how much't, it would be strange and I would leave.

Oh you're here. Right, so how much for the big wicket shirt? I'm asking you that Paul. I know and I said already, so go on you'll go. What was your guess? Well I'm not going to tell you if you weren't listening. You're a cunt and I hate the way you fucking mock me. I'm going to go ahead and regretfully to bump this up to something. I'm going to say four quid.

I'll say five. Oh, he goes five. Right there. Is that the last item? Well, that's the rest of the games here. Can we see the games? TV 80s trivia. Oh, let's have a few of those. I'll tell you why, because if this runs out, which I think it might do in the next five minutes, we can do these next. That's what I mean. But we'll talk about them.

And then we've got, you can't really play pointless because it's a little pointless card game box. Yeah, and then we've done the full board game on the show before. next. That's what I mean. But cards just playing cards and it's got the questions in like we asked a hundred people so basically they've put a pack of cards yeah well to the back oh there's money yeah okay it's a shit game but I have got the official board game with this again which is fun and has stands and has a nice Bruce's face on the front and has Bruce's fucking beautiful face and I I buy anything with Bruce Forsythe's face on I have a Bruce Forsythe what do they call it like a cock patch Bruce Forsythe poultice Bruce poultice it's not that's not what poultice is meant for the Forsythe poultice that's a cock piece poultice the Forsythe poultice it rests on your chin like this

like a chin poultice yeah chin poult. I've got nothing to chin poultice sounds reasonably funny but I can't get there yet so let's not. Come on. Right it's time I'll let you do this point. He's picked Gribble grubble it would you like your pointy pointy gribble grubble Yes thank you very much Mr Fiddlest. You gotta pull it out of his sweaty tongue. Okay There we go it's out. Just shake some of this.

Smug off. Biofilm. Bioflob off. Bioflob. Nice. That is bioflob. I know, that was good. I liked it.

So, let's just do it in the order. Almost as good as when you said 90. That was hilarious. Thank you. I will go for the order we do it, and you just tell me I know This is not looking good. I'm looking at something. It's Yeah

This might be a painful finale, but let's find out the first thing we said was the chas and dave album You said it was oh shit. You played the quids gambit and I said one pound fifty. How much was it? Fuck how much? Fuck you fucking ruined it mate. How have I was it? Oh fuck! How much? Fuck you fucking ruined it mate How have I ruined it? Because there's so much value you've destroyed by fucking shredding the cover I've got another one which is in better condition It doesn't matter you had two now you only have one

I have... It was £3.99 Fucking hell No betwings for either of us Is it gonna be double doughnuts? I have never seen that album anywhere near me go for any more than like a quid. It was in good condition, brand new basically, the cover in particular. Yeah but the one I've got is in brilliant condition and I got it for 50p at that plays up by Bifo's.

Well Kirstie and Bryn you got robbed. Yeah you got strung up like a... you see this is the thing you two, you gotta play the game, you know you gotta think, you go just by indiscriminately, you gotta play the game. You know, you gotta think, you gotta just buy indiscriminately, you gotta play the game. And I think they, I think they foolishly spent too much on that. Well, that was- And I gashed it up with a pen knife or whatever. To surprise the both of us how much that was. So, no betweens for either of us there. No betweens, sadly. Next item was the chicken timer. You said- Chicken, chicken timer. Chicken, chicken timer. You said timer you said 175 and I played the kit quids gambit what's the price between between are you joking between between whoa is that really all between the quids gambit well done you jazzy mcblase jammie Dodger between between I'm doing what I'm good at the quiz gambit aren't I

you quids gambit the shit out of that! Yeah. Well done, Paul. Well, you do, though, get a p-twing for being 175. No, I don't. Yeah. Oh, no, you don't. I'm 75p out. God, your maths is terrible. Oh, dear.

Anyway. I'm eating really bad. Storming through with four p- Thank you. I mean, I would. I mean, I could have just taken it there. I thought I was doing you a favour, then, but. No, I'm not going to let that lax maths go.

Just to remind everyone, you do get a Pertwing if you're 25p either side of the actual price. So I would have had to say £1.25 to get that Pertwing, not £1.75. Okay. Or I could have said 75p. Did we do the Badger next? I don't know, but I've got the Badger here if you want to talk about the Badger. I can't remember what we placed. I can't remember which way round it went. Was it the badger we did first and then the hearts? Yes, the badger came after the timer, yes. And then before those shitty little wooden hearts?

Yes. Alright so it is the other way round then, badger. The next one is the badger. And then hearts. Alright, okay so badger. What did you say? You said £2, I said one pound 75. Pertwings all round.

I'll get two Pertwings because it was two pounds. Hey! And then I get one. One for being in 25p, well done. Wow, oh good. We're good on the Badger. Both of us good on the Badger. Good on the Badger.

My mum said that when I was growing up. You see, when you grow up, Paul, you'll be good on the Badger. You've got five Pertwings so far and I have two. I've got six, because I've got four and then two. Wow. Four and then one. Oh yeah, one, one, one, sorry. One, one, one. No, sorry. I have to fucking watch that guy.

Sorry, you're right, you're right. He has difficulty with basic counting. I apologize for that. It's okay. Fine. But let's just keep an eye on that. Hearts. Hearts. The wooden, wooden hearts. I said... The wooden heart ornaments. Yes. You said one pound fifty. I said 75 P It was let me just see those weird dangly hope hearts, whatever it's called. Oh live love home signs

Yeah said what did sorry you said? 75 no, sorry. You said 150 I said 75 P fucking hell mate. Well one pound 50 This is competitive No, sorry, you said 150, I said 75p. Fucking hell, mate. What? £1.50. Hey! This is competitive! Fucking getting competitive now. And I don't get nothing for that. No, I'm only one per twing down. One behind.

Even though you got the quids gambit. I know, but still. Come on, this is one of my best of all time. It's a nice, thrilling one. I hope you're listening at home or feeling thrilled too. I got two on the noses and you got the quids gambit. Yeah. Now, Paul, just a few guesses ago, I hope you're listening at home or feeling thrilled too. I got two on the noses and you got the quids gambit. Yeah.

Now, Paul, just a few guesses ago, we were expecting to get double donuts. Double donuts. We've both got multiple betweens on the board. Sensible and healthy score. And two items to go. Right, so the next one is the key chain with the N on. We both hated.

You said 75p, I said 90. It was a pound. Ooh, so we both get a betweens. Yes. Yeah, I said 90. It was a pound. Oh, so we both get a Pertwing? Yes. Yeah, there we go. Nice, fuck me! Six. Fucking hell!

So now it comes down to the chair. So we could have done the quids per gambit twice. I guess, but the rule is you play it once. Oh really? Yeah. So what, even if you guessed a quid for the next one, you wouldn't get the extra two Pertwings? I think it just makes it easier, I think, if you just go... you can only sacrifice the chance to say a pound once. Otherwise you could say nearly everything's a pound.

And just try and... yeah, you could. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, and see if you could scrape up a bunch of betweens. So it needs to be used carefully. Hence the gambit. Even if two of the items are a quid, you can still only use it once. Yeah, as long as you only get it once right. Doesn't matter. Okay, that was also a quid, the key ring. Right, so the chair.

And we both scored on it again. The chair. The chair. The wooden, the ratatata chair. You said five pound, I said four pound. My god, Paul. What? You are getting two petwings.

Four pounds. Really? Yeah. Hey! Fucking, it's a petwing, absolute petwing festival. In that case, we can wrap this up by saying at the end of this game of The Price of Shite, Eli with a sturdy five Pertwings is just missing out on me with five, six, seven, eight, nine Pertwings altogether.

No, no. Yes, it is. No. Four and one. Let's go through it quickly. Let's go through your Pertwings quickly. Oh no, no, it's eight. It's eight altogether. Eight altogether.

It's because I read the line wrong. Stop adding betwings that you don't earn, please. Still beating though. Yes you did, but I'd like to be beaten. Still healthily beating. I was what? On seven you were on eight? I was on six. You were on five and I was on eight.

Okay, three betwing. Two betwing us. Five, six, three. You're really struggling, man. One, two, three, you know, up to ten. Right. Well done. Well done for your five between. How many did you even get? You f***. Eight. Right. I got five. You got eight. Yeah. Five usually a winning score in this game. Hey. Yeah. I think we did pretty well all around here. We did very well there. So, thank you. We're getting better at this. Say thank you to uh who is it? Bryn and Kerry or something. Kirsty. Kirsty.

Thank you both. Thank you very much. That was a lot of fun. Right. We got um 15 minutes so let's play one of these. What do you wanna do? Let's do the 80s TV trivia. Yeah. Can't go wrong with that. Can we be competitive, please? Yeah. Oh, there's loads. Oh, the maths was cracking me up there, mate. You just...

Tell you what, let's just- Basic edition. Let's just quickly shuffle them, and then I'll give you a bit. Half the deck, and you half. No, I don't need half the deck. Just here we go. So this is 80s trivia, 80s TV trivia.

It might as well. It mate doesn't matter you might as well fucking might as well no there's no point giving you a big wad of cards i like having a wad in my hand all these fucking cards thank you baby twat right i'll start then i don't want them i don't need i don't need to overcompensate i like having a big deck in my hand yeah yeah I like having a big deck in my hand. Yeah, yeah, isn't that the truth? Now, now, we're taking turns, are we? I've only got a little deck in my hands. Are we?

Yeah, taking turns. And you've done two in one go today, guys. First one to get five right. Two in a go. First one to get five right, yeah? All right. All right, I'll go first. Who headed up flag the foundation for law and government in Knight Rider?

Was it Alexander Waverly, Dev Devin Miles or Owen Devion? B. Devin Miles is correct. Ding ding ding goes on the right pile. That was his boss wasn't it was called with the patch because he always said Devin didn't he? No that's Airwolf for the guy. That's Airwolf for the patch. All the same shit isn't it though. Top secret identity organization. I remember him saying Devin referring to him as Devin. But like top organization that has a black vehicle of some kind that does cool shit. I'm saying Devon refers to him as Devon. But like top organization that has a black vehicle of some kind that does cool shit. You ready? Yes.

Is this going from the top one? Yeah. What was the name of the pilot and main character in the TV series Airwolf? Oh, I... Weirdly. I know the actor was John Michael Vinson, but go on, give us the answer. You've got multiple choice. Okay, go on.

Was it Carl Sweetchuk? That's when you've had a lot choice okay go on was it Carl sweet Chuck that's when you've had a lot of melon yeah and sugar in your diet oh you mean a wank I thought it'd be sick and now that's if you have get on with it sugary sweet come on we're gonna get through the this. This is the name of the pilot and main character. Yeah, which makes sense. Which then they called Airwolf. Yeah. Was it Carl Sweet Chuck? Bob Airwolf. Jesse Match? Mach? Yeah. M-A-C-H Mach. Jesse Mach. Or Stringfellow Hawk? It's Stringfellow Hawk. Fucking stupid. Because the only one that sounds like a stupid 80s name. stupid a stupid fucking name

Right next one right okay string fellow I mean of all the fucking ridiculous names string fellow hawk is it's like they pulled names out of a box wasn't it? It's like string fellow string fellow Hawk that's your name Right what was the famous tagline for the comedy show Cheers, which also featured in the song's theme tune? I just want to say Rope Man, Rope Man, Kestrel, could be like that. It could be, yeah, you're right. Anyway, fuck me. Stringfellow, Rope Man, yeah. Kestrel, Kestrel GTX. Can I have the question again please?

Chain Child Owl. What? Chain Child Owl. Chain Child Owl. Chain Child Owl. Chain Child Owl. Are you trying saying it? Stringfellow. Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm on it now. Chain Child Owl. I don't think they would have gone for that. What are you going to call the show? Chain Child Buzzard. Nice. There we go.

So what was the famous tagline for the comedy show Cheers that also featured in the lyrics to the song's theme tune? There's no optional choice for this. Where everybody knows your name. I'll give you that. Yep. Where everyone knows your name. Okay. Thank you. The cartoon series Garfield and Friends, Paul. Yeah. Garfield and Friends. Was. Yeah, Garfield and Friends.

Was based on the comic strip Garfield. Yeah. Who was its original creator? Does it give you options? No. Doesn't it? No. You should know.

Don't you remember? He doesn't remember. He doesn't remember everyone. Garfield was invented by... I'll give you a clue. I can see its fucking scribble on the card. Yeah, you can see it, can'tivel on the car. Yeah you can see it can't you? Davies. John Davies. I can't give it yet. No don't then. It's Jim Davis. Jim Davis. I was close though right?

John Davies. Yeah but I can't give it to you because that is a different name. Fine. Yeah okay. Next one for you. Right which one's this one? Stop fucking flicking through them he's trying to get hard ones no actually it was the one I just read okay sorry so the alien elf was featured in the hit US sitcom with the same name had rust colored fur a rippled snout and ate stomachs but where was his stomach yeah but where oh eight he had eight number eight like maybe you know he ate cats he ate cats oh he eight stomachs. He had eight, number eight stuff. He ate like, you know, haggis. Maybe, you know, he ate cats. He ate cats. Haggis is, oh, he did, didn't he? Yeah.

Anyway, here's the question. That's not very nice, eating cats, is it? No, but he didn't really get to eat much pussy on the show, so. Oh, boom, boom, everyone. Anyway, so listen, listen, listen, listen. He had rust-colored fur, a rippled snout, and eight stomachs, but where was his heart? No options for this, just the answer. His heart was in his head? Is correct. Oh come on. Three to one Eli. You're getting fucked up bro. Come

on then. Who made Cagney and Lacey different from other police shows at the time? What made Cagney and Lacey different? Both female cops. Yeah. Is that the answer? Two leads were female. I'll have that. Right, what's the next one? Right, next question, Eli. Oh, I'm almost winning.

This is for, in the animated series Danger Mouse, the boss of Colonel K. Wait, I'll say, okay, in the animated series Danger Mouse, the boss of Colonel K, Danger Mouse is often mistaken, that is a badly worded question. Just try try to get around it I'll read it exactly how it says and tell me if this sounds right to you use the punctuation in the animated series danger mouse the boss of Colonel K comma danger mouse is often mistaken for a walrus what animal is he actually what the question is there is

what is the actual animal that Colonel K is? He is not a walrus. Colonel K is the boss of Danger Mouse? Yes, you know the one with the big danger mouse? That one, the one who gets in the missions. Not a walrus? He's not a walrus. This is actually new information for me. I thought he was a walrus.

Is he a sea lion? No, the answer is a chinchilla. Oh, who knew? Well, no one. I didn't know that. That's my first miss. Did you know that? You knew? Well, no one. I didn't know that. That's my first miss. Did you know that? You ready?

Yeah, come on. This could equalize. Now, you're probably into this. Go on. The Canadian cartoon series, what I'm about to say. Oh, raccoons. Yeah. The raccoons is based in which fictional forest? Oh, go on. What's the name of the fictional forest where the raccoons

lived? Not badger. There's no options? No. Oh god. Oh I'm not gonna know that. I can't remember that. You don't want to take a guess? No because I can't remember everything about that. It's very generic. Oh is it like something wood? Is it like something? I mean it is but you can't get it. You give up? Yeah, go on. Evergreen Forest. Yeah, you're right. Evergreen Forest. No, I don't get anything for that. So it's still 3-2 to Eli as we go on to our next question. Okay, let's go.

And we've got six minutes on the clock. The Golden Girls series finale in 1992 was the 10th most watched series finale of all time. But how many viewers tuned in to see the final episode? Is it 27.2 million is it 33.3 million is it 45.4 million 45.4 it is 27 million I'm sorry about that Eli give us your next question in Knight Rider yes what does kit the name of Michael's night car stand for? night industries 2000 well done. I was shit myself there. It was 3,000. It could have been

But I know that cuz literally this morning I watched a stamp fine video on YouTube about the history of kicked night rider and it's come up twice Yeah, weird right next question for you the fictional town in Illinois was the where what fictional town in Illinois was the sitcom Roseanne based any no which I think is cruel that's fucked up I wouldn't have known that is it like it's it's so generic I can't even give you a clue you know what I mean without just telling you what it is but yeah what was the fictional town in Illinois I want to say Springfield but that's the Simpsons yeah like's something like that, isn't it? It's kind of like that, but a lot punchier.

Come on. Come on. It's real time. I'm gonna have to press you. I don't know. He's pressed me. Lanford. Oh, God.

I'll never get that. So let's make the... Let's see what happens, right? If I get this wrong, then you win. I don't know. Just already got time. Go on, let's do it. Which city's lifeguards was the show Baywatch based on? What city's lifeguards? Oh, that would have been LA. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the card.

There we go. Next question. No, you put it on the wrong pile. Oh yeah. Next question. Oh, it's another Roseanne one. Fuck's sake. What bizarre storyline twist is revealed in the final episode of Roseanne? Do I have options? No. Erm... They win the lottery? No.

Fuck! It was all a dream! No. Although, kind of. Most events in the final series did not happen, but instead, based on the pages of a book Rosam was writing in the show It's not quite it was all a dream because it was a book she wrote Also, they were millionaires in the season beforehand and that was the whole point of the last season. So no, right So Eli your question for me don't put it there you know, that is mine there all mine just straightening them I haven't added anyone. You're still on three. What is the name of the human friend that interacts with the ponies featured in the My Little Pony TV series?

Megan, Pixie or Lola? Megan. Fuck's sake. Is it? You dick. Have I won? Have I won? First to five I guess. I'll get you up then, here is a little complimentary question if you get this I'll give you a kiss What is the name of Maddie and David's detective agency in moonlighting? Is it blue moon blue oyster or blue Peter?

Blue moon is correct, but it don't matter cuz God who won the first Ganon won the price of shite and Ganon won the 80s trivia. What's the I hear? Ganon's the best. I hear it all around the world. He's also the funniest. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Two and a half minutes, so I'll do the admin. Do you want to shake me hand and well play?

Don't, clammy. Fuck, how dare you, my hand. That is not a clammy hand. He's very, he's very. It's not clammy hand, you've got clammy hands. I don't give a shit. Yeah, well I don't give a shit. I don't give a fuck.

I don't bring things up in public, do I? I just was trying to be funny, Paul. I don't care whether it's really clammy. You should. Unless it was soaking clammy. Yeah, that'd be horrible though. Warm clammy fat thumbs. See, he is obsessed with it. He hates the idea of having anywhere near clammy hands., that would be horrible though. Warm clammy fat thumbs.

He is obsessed with it. He hates the idea of having anywhere near clammy hands. Look, admin admin admin. You haven't got time mate. I have, I've got plenty of time to do the admin. Here we go. If you want to know more about Cheap Show you can go to our website thecheapshow.co.uk and that's your one stop shop for everything.

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show on Soho radio yeah that is every two weeks on a Sunday from 2 till 4, the House of Pickles sound show. You can also find old episodes on Mixcloud. Come on, get into the end of two episodes in a go recording session. And that is a music show everybody. And it's on open cloud or whatever it is, you can download it there. Mixcloud, but it is going to be on digital radio. Oh yeah that's true, DAB. So it'll be on proper radio. That's exciting. And I'll let everyone know at the time when that happens. And also for those who have seen it on Patreon, but won't get to see it for a little bit longer, our episode with Ashen and Takashi's Castle game,

that will be on YouTube live in Easter. I'm going to put that published on Easter, I think, as my little treat. I'm sorry it was a very underwhelming game. It's fine. I enjoyed it. I've still got it there. I'm going to put it in a prider place.

You're not going to play it again. I don't need to play it again, but I like it. You could paint it. I could paint it. Five, four, three, two, one. Goodbye, everyone going to play it again. I don't need to play it again, but I like it. You could paint it. I could paint it. Five, four, three, two, one. Goodbye everyone. Love you.

Bye, see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.