CheapShow - Ep 431: The (Not Very) Geocaching Picnic (Stereo Edition)

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

STEREO EDITION The sun’s out so Eli and Paul decide to escape CheapShow HQ and head back to Hampstead Heath for another barely acceptable picnic adventure. This time out, they have a reason for roaming around the heath on a wonderfully warm Spring day. Inspired by the accidental discovery of a Geocache box back in Ep 342 (Gannon's Golden Quest The Third), the Cheap Chaps are going to make a full day of it, using a free to use Geocaching phone app to hunt down as many boxes, tubs and bottles as they can before the sun sets. They may be hidden anywhere, so Paul and Eli are going to have to keep their wits about them to find them all. As ever, the lure of cheap picnic snacks, free booze and “extreme” flavoured drinks and candy may derail all their best efforts. In this 2 hour and 35 minute epic episode, join CheapShow has they, once again, find a way to be busy doing nothing! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-431-not-very-geocaching-picnic And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

It's just gone 2pm on the 7th of April 2025. Eli Gannan and Paul Silverman have fucked it! Why? Why can't you talk? Anyway, hello everyone I am Eli Silverman and as Paul said here we are at Hampstead Heath. Did you say that? Is it the South Gate entrance we're at, basically whatever it's called? It's at Southern Mo's Point, which is where Hampstead Ave overground on the Suffragette. Is that the Suffragette? Or the... I don't know, no. It's hard. It's the Maldmay, yeah.

On the Maldmay line on the London overground system. And here we are. We've been in this very spot a number of times on the show already, haven't we? Because we were up at Preacher's Hill is over there for a patreon special and then at the foot of Preacher's Hill is Goldfinger house. Erno Goldfinger's house which was one of the locations on our treasure hunt episode we did here as well. Anyway we're back because we are going to spend today a lovely warm Monday beautiful blue skies

we are going to be geocache searching. Is that what it's actually called? It's not very... Geocaching. Geocaching, yeah. We're going geocaching, which is basically, it's like, what would you want to call it? Like, orienteering? It's like modern day orienteering, but with a sort of, more of a psycho-geographical,

if I may say, bend. It's more for just the joy, because orienteering is literally a race where you have to read a map and you're racing around to get to points before your competitors do. There's no competitive element to geocaching, it's much more of a democratic, like you just find a box, you add something to it, say you'd been there and make a note of the time and the date right yeah yeah so basically with it I've got this app it tells you where they are these little geocache boxes or they vary from like location to location but by and large it's a little box with a notepad in where you can mark your

your arrival leave a little trinket behind if you want of which Eli has a few trinkets. Just keep going, just keep going. One of the trinkets as Paul so eloquently put it is a rubber shrimp lure used for fishing which my fingers now sniff of. Well there you go. Just a little bit of texture for the listeners at home. Imagine the smell of cheap rubber shrimp.

All over your fingertips. All over my filthy fingers. You know what I did the other night? Some fucking rotten herbal night-holds to help me get to sleep and they didn't. They gave me indigestion, night-time indigestion and they made my fingers stink of old vitamins. Vitamin finger Eli. That's who I'll be today.

Eli, I'll tell you what happened to me before you turned off. Oh my god, there's that there, did anyone see that? What that Jack? No that was there before we sat down. Are you sure? Absolutely, because I remember thinking about it. He got startled by a tin of Jack Daniels and Coke. He blindsided me. It's like the Black Tower, that short film. That's going to turn up all through the day, stalking me that can, unless I burn it. Anyway, before Eli turned up to that, I was sitting on a log

waiting for him. I was sitting there about 15 minutes. No rush, it was all cool. And then because no one was around, I thought, well, you let off. I let off a big, big, like raspy, deep, deep, like log shaking one, right? Log shaking, I mean it was probably log shaking and also foretelling of the arrival of a log at some point later today out your chute.

Yeah, the arse-thoucethrayer has a message for me. And it's beware, beware the log. Anyway, that's not the point. I'm not saying, I'm not proud of the big fart. The big fart was a big fart. It stunk. And then before I knew it, this little fucking puppy dog, this little pit bulldog, not pit bull, what's the word? Bulldog.

Bulldog came out of nowhere and started snuffling around my crotch and getting like really into my beefy essence. And then its owner was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you must have some meat on you Oh did he actually say that? Oh my god he didn't say that oh he didn't say meat No I mean that was a good little edit to be more funny

Yeah it was a good little edit but thanks for ruining that He goes you must have some food on you now and I thought yeah I think I've got some meat in my bag Indeed Anyway that dog got a little a little air biscuit treat Well is it least it liked it. The point is, we're going geocaching today. I've brought some picnic-y bits and some ciders which have been donated to us and we will tell you who donated all those lovely things later.

But for now, Eli, I think it's time for us to get our geocache on. Yes, let's get this cache on. There's a whole tranche of possible caches that we can discover today, Paul. I've got an app for it. The app will tell us where to go. It won't show us all of them, because you've got to pay premium to know where all the fucking ones are.

But there are ones we can use that are available. You know what, Paul? I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but today you're in safe hands in terms of finding stuff on the Heath, because this is my spiritual home, and I've got good knowledge, geographical knowledge of this park of ours.

And so we will be getting the same old fucking stories we have heard from them the last few times we have been here but repackaged for an audience that have lost interest. So shall we get going then? Why are you trying to audition to read for Thomas the Tank Engine new series or something? Well, this one is going to do it. So, you would do it wouldn't you? You'd get fucking so much money for that. Eli is getting his bag ready. We're going to get going.

It's time to go geocaching. Come on, you and me, come on. You and me and him, come on. All three of us together will go. Habsid Heath expert. And Paul Gannon, geocache master. Let's hit the road. load. Oh that's right you went into a bush didn't you? And then I found it.

I didn't know what it was but I just went huuuu. Did you find one you have in a piss just then? No. Alright just checking. Just wondering if it had a gift like a pig with truffles. You know it was like, I go piss and then I find geocache boxes. That would be cool wouldn't it? Are we on? Just a little update, I have been for my first piss in Impossible.

It was textbook. Low shrubbery. I like that. It's off the beaten track, I'm not inconveniencing anyone. Little 360 turnaround for any walkers because it is quite busy in the heat today I don't want to be exposing my pee peeing wee wee hole to a lady or a man or a child or a dog dogs okay you feed dog farts you were happy okay I didn't feed it at best it snatched it away from me. Hey Rover, I've got a treat for you. At best it snatched it off me.

You were like, oi, Lord Huntington, eat this. If my fart was a sandwich in my hand, it would have snatched it out of my hand. Oi, Boris Major. Imagine how the dog called that? Boris Major. He's a fart-loving dog and he's called Boris Major. Ooh, ooh, he's Boris Major. All of our dogs on this podcast that we invent have some kind of horrible affectation to bodily admittances.

He sucks the farts right out your arse, he loves it. Anyway, so shall we get this going then? Shall I load up this app? Oh cool, yes, what's the app called? Okay, Loading Geocaches. So what is it to the app? And then it tells us where we are, which is there. And it's got Google Earth, whatever.

All this imagery. Is one very close by? No, it's the one we walked away from. It was right near where we started talking. Well, should we go back down there? I mean, we could, but there's one up in the grumble weed boxes there. The grumble weed boxes? The grumble boxes we it's up that way somewhere. What do you mean grumble? Grumble weed just go with it I'm just saying

nonsense words while my brain catches up. Frumble dumble. Those aren't nonsense words the grumble weeds are a comedy act. See there's one over there they were a comedy act they're all dead now. They're all dead? Good. Are they? I think maybe one's alive and he still calls himself the Grumbleweeds, even though there's only one of them. He's singular. And he does probably the desperate late night club stuff or Butlins.

Wow. You know what I mean? He probably cries a lot at night. They had several albums over the years. Oh yeah, they were reasonably successful. Until The Shine came off their act. Which was a terrible act. Times change, humour, humour changes but I mean the bottom line is thankfully thankfully they're mostly dead. That's the important thing to take away.

Has anyone else remember hearing Paul talk about this? Notice I don't complain I like it. You know what I lap it up very much like Lord Huntington the fart loving dog. Who sucks him. He likes wet ones. The fart scoffing dog. Boris Major Huntington, Lord of the Fart Suckers. What does he do with these farts? He eats, it's sustenance. It's what's known as ghost meat which has nutritious value. It's full of iron and nitrates. Alright so what do you want to do? I don't think we should go back to all that way to where we started. I think we should go ahead. So there's one here. This would be cache number one of the episode. There's one to our what?

North east and then there's one to our kind of Northmoor. What would you like to start with? Which is closer to us. I don't think it matters about which is closer. Which one do you fancy? Because that one's right in the middle of the field. I can't see your phone at all in this light man. That's what can I hold it? Have a look Right, so we're the little blue dot right and there's one where your phone is and then if you go if you scroll to the left a little bit. For you it says for you and star there. Yeah that means it's one of the ones the app will let us look at. You know what? What? By my knowledge of the heath I reckon that is Buda Sia's grave or mound. Oh the mound

where we... And it's just beyond it if you see. Do you want to touch the go there? Yeah cool. All right we'll do that one. It's a good place to start because we have um covered that location before... And it's just beyond it if you see. Do you want to go there? Yeah, cool. Alright, we'll do that one. It's a good place to start because we have covered that location before. Yeah. And it's not really Buddhist, Buddhicas. Buddhicay, no, Bodhi-siyah or Buddhica. Buddhica, Buddhica, Buddhica. I got some sweet Buddhica.

Shake that Buddhica. Ruff, Ruff, get out my arse, doggy. Oh, they're everywhere. Lord Huntington, no! No, Lord Huntington, get down off the vicar. He let us squeeze in. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ruff, ruff, get out my arse, doggy! Oh, they're everywhere! Lord Huntington, no! No, Lord Huntington, get down off the vicar! He let out a squeaker, you can't do this in public! That would be quite a good idea for a sitcom. It would not be quite a good idea for anything.

A man owns a dog, and every time a character on the show breaks wind, the dog will fly up there. The dog sucks it up. Very much like my dog sucking fart idea from earlier on. Yeah and it often leads to amusing situations like the boss comes around for dinner, a big promotion and then you know the boss lets off a squeaker at the dinner table and Lord Huntington's run up there and you think oh no he's gonna lose the promotion. The boss attacking me, Johnson. Yeah he's gonna lose his promotion and he's gonna lose the job. I actually love it! I love this dog getting right up my arsehole! I'm giving you a promotion!

You're head of the company! Make sure you bring the dog in though! Yeah, the dog becomes CEO. Or something like that at the end. It's that kind of thing, you know? Or they're at a wedding... Mate. They're at a wedding and it's like the bride and the groom are right in the altar.

It goes, does anyone here know why these two shouldn't marry? Please speak now or if they hold your peace and then the bride goes no Huntington no ride up the aisle ride up the bride's dress and then it turns out oh no she marries the dog yeah she marries the dog come on let's go anyway ITV if you listen we're open to cop chatting about this. They're going out of business, my friends. They're not listening, no. That's all they'll take any old fucking idea, though, won't they? No, they won't. That would be an expensive idea to make.

If you turn it into a reality teev show, TV teev show. Teev show? It's got all that business speak going. Oh, reality teev. We all want the reality teev, don't we? Yeah, so, name that fart, Huntington style. That's not as good. Right, I'm going to press this now and see what happens. You train a dog to eat farts.

Mate, you can't complain about derailing the podcast with that, and then keep on doing the derailment. You, the one who ran with it. Right, let me just click on this and see what happens. This isn't about cache's at all. Right, Bode de Silla's burial mine, it does say it's what it's called. Yes.

How do we get there? How do we navigate? I know, I can take you there. Navigate. I know how to get there. I'm gonna take you there, okay? Yeah, it's that way, innit? Yeah, we go around then.

Yeah, go on. Behind us there, we're gonna walk away from, is the Royal Free Hospital, where I would have been born if my parents weren't massive hippies and so oh look there's that see there's the Royal Free Hospital mate where I would have been born if I had not been born hundreds of miles north of here yeah it's funny that I can say anything born there yeah I reckon so if I hadn't been born somewhere else the

odds are good I know I get where you're getting your criticism of my statement there but there's more to it when I say would have been born there because I really would have been born there. Yeah well so me if things have been completely different for my mom and dad then yeah I would have been born there too. If I've never existed Paul I wouldn't be here right now if I wasn't if I wasn't here right now I wouldn't actually be here right now. Well we can all dream. What are they hippies? They're doing meditation.

Oh are they? Or are you just trying to get into a knickers? Well that's very often one and the same thing as we all know. When a man says hey can I teach you meditation what he's really saying is can I put my fingers inside your... I really did grow up in that world of new age bullshittery so I'm allergic to it myself. Yeah I just don't trust men with long beards and ponytails. I'm sorry. That's me. No but you have a short beard and a ponytail. I should change my look shouldn't I? What can I do? Bald. Bold. All over. All over.

I want you to say like if I covered you in grease you would slip out of my grip. Yeah, it's just ahead. 0.3 miles. Yeah, have you got a little walk to go mate? Alright, I'm coming. 0.3 miles and we're off. Oh. This is a cool little ridge isn't it here? Yeah Yeah I'd like to say it's a little ridge.

We're on a ridge, a raised ridge but it doesn't look it looks like a natural one. Yeah. But the Heath because it's been like a park for so long. Yeah. It has it's more landscaped and managed than it would appear is all I'm saying. So this could have been made. It's not wild at all. Has its wild elements but they're kind of gated aren't they? I love it, absolutely love it. But what I'm also trying to say is this doesn't look like a railway embankment. It doesn't have a man-made look to it. It's sort of flowing and curvier.

But it's a really nice one. Well listen, look, we will get to the location and then start snuffling for the geocache box and we'll come back to you when we get close to the target. Can I ask now there's no there's no exact location? No you do have to find it yourself. You have to rustle around look around at things. I reckon it might be attached to the fence around the mound. It's often in fences or things like that isn't it? Sometimes it's under rocks sometimes it's against the tree sometimes it's on the tree, sometimes it's on a fence, I mean it varies and some of them can be quite elaborate but I don't think we're going to find

any elaborate geocast boxes on this journey today. So we're going to come back to you in a moment, we're just going to head over this little crest and then we'll see if we can find the Bodicea's Mound. Are we going to have to get into the... No I don't think we'll have to get into's Mound. Are we going to have to get into the... No, I don't think we'll have to get into the mound. So, if you look though, it says it's like not quite at the mound, but to that side of it. So it's either maybe that tree Let's go round. Let's go round it, because

Let's go round the mound as my girlfriend likes to say Let's go round the mound tonight. The moon's out. Oh it is. Lovely. Proving that this is all Look Paul, the moon's out. Oh it is. Proving that this is all a simulation because it's glitched. You shouldn't be able to see the moon during the day. Well that's what flat earthers say.

Yeah I agree with them. They're incredibly stupid. Wise thinking outside the box kind of people. So we need to... So what you're saying is if the earth was a globe you wouldn't be able to see it. No. But since it isn was a globe you wouldn't be able to see it. No. But since it isn't a globe it's flat I don't understand where's the logic in this they're projecting it I

don't what. Mate if I have to tell you then you don't if you obviously you don't you can't understand. You don't understand the concept involved. So right is it over here this little mound there? Because they say it's. No it's there it's that tree there. This one ahead of us. Definitely. Look arrows little blue arrows pointing pointing right at it I'm gonna have to get you have to get our hands dirty in that shrub we might have to get dirty in the shrub I got to put this fucking coffee down oh god damn it I've got it's mostly it's mostly no there's a bin just we walk past in a minute so I'll put it in there so it's somewhere around here then. Yep I'm walking straight towards it now. Does it zoom in and give us more info?

Is it oh look there's a tree oh yeah we can go round. Beeped? I found it. Details hints logs I found it. We haven't found it yet. I'll tell you what. We're about to find our first cache everyone. I'm just going to turn the screen off for a minute. Let's go into the booth. Yeah. Right, we're looking. Right, here we go. So maybe it is in a log. Right, well there's a log here and there's a tree. There's another log over there it might be under so let's have a look. Let's have a look at the app again. It might give you a hint. Is it going to ask us to pay? Inside a hollow fallen tree. I mean and that is a hollow fallen tree. Details.

Probably known as the tumulus. This is a great location in the Hampstead Heath for the series of benches allowing a 360 view. There's a lot of speculation as to what it actually is. Unfortunately, or most certainly not, Bodecia's last resting place. Right, so that's that, we're not quite on the... No, the actual cache is across the path and slightly down the hill where it's a little quieter. It's in a sealed plastic container. Do I see? I don't see anything. I mean, we can only hope it is here look there's a little

post-it note there so maybe that fell out of the box maybe it's like right down that oh I think I see something no there's a little yellow lid thing can I put my hand there this is like bloody Flash Gordon Flash Gordon I just had a flash Gordon flashback. Huh? I'm going to put my hand down there. That's definitely it. Yeah. Do I do this?

Go for it. Mate, do you want to do this? No. There could be spiders. Yeah, you're right. It's like Indiana Jones. No, my arm's not long enough. You're going to have to do it. Yeah.

Alright. I couldn't reach it. Yeah. All right. Can we reach it from the other side? Can we reach it from the other side? I don't want to break the tree. Look get a stick and I'll push it. Can you? Oh dear, hang on. Hang on. Yeah, no, I'm fine with it. I've just got a... All right, okay. I think I've got it. I've got it. It's a little tub. You do have longer arms than me, that's what I'm saying. Alright, okay. No, you need to come round here because you get more...

I think I've got it! You've got it? I've got it! It's a little tub. Oh, it keeps slipping out of my fingers. It's all goody! It's all goody? There's something crawling.

It's all goodman. I've got to wiggle it out slowly. There's something crawling. Shut up! My arm's stuck. You should come to the other side of the tree you idiot because look I can't know because my arm is stuck because I've clamped my hand around the thing you want to hand me the mic I'm beginning I'm about to have a panic attack all right

come around the other side of the look get your arm out if I pull my body out straight like yes here we go I got it I got it got it well done hey one down take a photo of that it says official geocache please do not Yeah open it up. I think I pulled my arm out. Mate you really were too rash. You should have come to the other side of the log. Look at how much easier it would be for you. We've all learned to learn. You're ruining your new jacket. What am I going to do? There's only a ten.

I know I got it on sale. It's a little plastic jar with a yellow lid. Inside there is a post-it note pad. Have you got a pen? I might have a pen yeah I've got a pen I've got a pen I have got a pen I have got a pen no no no I'm sure I put a pen in yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I've got a sharpie well they're all different aren't they there's a little log book there official log book say well let me just put this microphone lodge it in here so I can

go hands-free oh there's knick-knack things, mate. Hang on, I'm going to move this here. Apologies for the sound. There's key rings. There's a dinosaur key ring. Right, I've set it here. There's a swimmer key ring and a dinosaur key ring. Right, I'm going to put, shall I put my name on this?

Oh, it's quite full. Yeah. There's a pin badge. Well, it goes back to 2023. There's a Christmas pudding pin badge. The Brennan's Hunter Lyle. People have just put sort of slips of paper. Lovely breakfast at the Finsbury Calf. There's literally no room for me to write anything here. No we need to do our own look there's it's blank post-it notes. All right I'll put our one down on here then. Yeah. Right, here we go.

Right, I'm gonna say, what's today, today's seventh? Seven, four. This is from this year. 25. On this piece of paper, William Victoria and Sue Bunnies. Oh. Sue Bunnies, Suey Bunnies. Cheap show.

And but these were Americans because they put their 12th of the 1st. Oh, I bet they're tourists on a little adventure. How funny how you can tell. Cheap Show was here. Good times. Some people like I said, said they had a lovely breakfast at the Finsbury Cafe, which is the one right... Oh, they left little notes as well. Do you remember there's that cafe that says Bean Feast on it? I think that's the Finsbury.

That's the one over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe so. Right, I've put this on. I've put Cheap Show was here. Good times. Well, we should sign as well. Paul and Eli or whatever. Why don't you sign on the other corner? And we'll see what happens. You know what, mate? This might be the best thing you've ever done. Why? I don't know. I love this. Okay. I need to take photos of everything that's there. Are we going to leave a trinket as well? To you, you've got the trinket. This is much smaller. Look there's a little bit of makeup there.

One sec, go on start again. Sweet potato pigment. Okay so it's a tint. Yeah Dr. Lip, why would you see that's not? They call me Dr. Lips. There's a plastic flower. Little plastic flower. Plastic flower. See there's all these scraps. Should we get them all? Oh it's a sticker. I better tell the app that I found it. I'm going to tidy up this geocache for the future of people. Do you know that? Found it in good condition. It is for what it is. It's not in good condition it's all loose and... Right look at this we've logged it it's been logged. I'm gonna put all of these loose like receipts that people have signed into

this plastic bag that only just contains the key rings now okay yeah tidying up the cache. It's good you being so considerate. And we need to decide what we're leaving. Did you bring any trinkets? No I just brought everything else didn't I? Have I got anything in my bag I could leave? I've always got little bits and bobs. I can leave a battery but that might decompose and rot it. I don't want to do that. That wouldn't be Phil. I could give this one to one of them. There's a picture of a farmer that says marry me hares. Holes. Marry me hares. Or hands.

That's two L's. Holes. Hales? Marry me hares. Marry me hares. Good to the hares. Marry my hares. It's a child that drew this. Might be someone with learning difficulties. Brilliant, get that digger out. Did you have that miniature digger? I could leave one of these in one of them. Oh that's a lot. My little keychain prop thing. Yeah but I've got like two of these. But not this one, maybe another one. Not this one? Oh like this one then. Have you got some stuff to put in there? to put in but we're gonna have future caches aren't we? I'll put this in here then

that's useful I've got loads of them it's a little multi tool yeah a little multi tool key fob thing I'm gonna get all of these little together and just put them all in the plastic bag at least there's a little yeah sticker that someone's left two stickers there's a picture of you a little seahorse a seahorse thank you I forgot the name of that creature all of these you see there's all bits of paper there there's not one log book. Let me just take a picture of you exploring it, there we go. Right. There's not one log book. Do you remember the log book was much neater I think in...

They're going to vary from tub to tub I imagine, so let's just not nitpick that. I am nitpicking. Because you know what happens next? We can begin our boozy picnic. Every time we found a cache, smoke, drink, chat. Oh, we started the boozy picnic now. You can start it right here if you want. Yeah.

All right, well let's, tell you what, while Eli tidies this little pot up, we're gonna, I'm gonna set up the first of our drinks in bites. I can't find anything earlier than last year, it looks like. There's 2023 I saw. Oh, did you?

Yeah, in one of them. But the thing is that little booklet, the date's all over the place where people have just found the space to write something so it jumps about. So Eegah's going to put it all back in one condition. Is this a pin badge? Yes. I ain't going to take no pin badges. As much as I love them, I'm not going to take from that.

Christmas pudding pin badge. I know, it's a really nice pin badge as well. It's a cheap one though, it's one of those charity ones. Yeah but I kind of, what do you mean? Are you, what's the, see what's the etiquette? It's not. If you leave something, can you take something? Well they say if you take something

you should leave something. Well then I can take that badge then. Alright then. I have put that thing in. I mean theoretically I should take it because I put the thing in. Do you like the badge? Yeah.

Well you have it then. I'm having it. Thank you, whoever donated this pin badge, thank you. I will add it to my collection and it won't be discarded. It's so funny that you started this bit by saying, I will not take that badge. I only started doing it when you were like, well, I'll have it then. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're such a weirdo about badges. It's because I have brothers and sisters. You don't know what that's like. All right. I grew up with brothers. You're the oldest of your family. Yes. All right.

I am the oldest of your family? Yes. I'm the oldest of mine as well. Do you get this sense of, I've got to have it before they take it? I think that's where it comes from. Yes, that's understandable. It's like bread in your household. No, it's not. How fucking dare you?

Right, put it all away. We're going to take a quick break and when we're going to come back, we're going to start our picnic. Okay. back we're going to start our picnic. We are recording right now. Do you think it's picking me up? If you talk at it, it'll be fine. I can adjust to your levels later. So our picnic has been stocked.

It's well and truly, oh, picnic? Yeah, the ingredients for our picnic have been stocked by some supporters of our podcast. We have a collection of things from Layton J who sent us things in the past. From? He has got a YouTube channel now but Leighton J's a follower on Twitter and he does have a YouTube channel yeah he does Noel Edmund stuff poor bastard he came to the live show last year and bought a Kachonk a Kachonk poster depicting oh that's right yeah ice dildos this is, at October some of this stuff is from when we donated them.

Oh we all go back to them. So I'm just going to go in this segment through everything we've got. Okay. And then we'll spread out throughout the show. Okay. We also got stuff from Matt from the Pint of Cthulhu podcast. Well remembered. That's where all the booze has come from.

And was that sent recently or was that also from the show? October. Now they're all in date, so we're all good. Trust me, I've checked. So I'm just gonna pull out the bag as we go. A Mars Croissant. This is a Mars Croissant. I haven't tried one of these. I think this is from Layton.

They're two Mars Croissants, thank you Layton. I think this is from Layton as well. TJ Snacks, traditional hand-cooked pork scratching. You know what I love the pork scratching Paul. Yeah. And you know when I really like it? Well you can see a fucking hair still on it. Oh nice fry. And then you crack your teeth open. Nice. No only joking. I don't like that. You don't like pork cracklings. I've got two of these. Salami crisps, chilli flavour. Oh no they're different. They're from Buck and Bird air dried salami crisps I've got chilli flavour. This is original flavour. Keto friendly like ketamine. No it's keto the keto diet. What's that? Do you remember what was that diet? Is that when you jump out of closets to attack French detectives? Very good. Thank you very much. But what was that diet that was really popular a few years ago where you didn't have any carbs?

Oh it's one of those I get it. It's like that. I think it's just meat. Anyway we've got those. We have James who sent us the box from Japan with the noodle in. There are some Japanese candies here. I love these. We've got a couple. These are all the cheap ones. More of those cheap ones and they've got such mad variety. Here's a little apple one. Oh is that dried apple? Oh those are apple gummies. Sweet and sour fruit gummy. Yeah. Oh and then we've got whatever that is looks like a licorice thing red and black. These look like little dried plums. You're gonna hate those. Don't know what they are. They've got a superhero. Look they look like

desiccated plums. They are, they're desiccated plums. I've got desiccated plums. I went for a medical last week, you know, an old body MOT. Yes, how did that go? She was up to her knuckle within five minutes of me taking my coat off. Really? She couldn't wait to get up my arsehole. No foreplay?

No, no chat, no how's your day been? It was like pants off, get on old fours, it's knuckling time. And she knuckled down to business mate, I tell you that. Fuck me. Well yeah indeed. They're always making small talk. Lovely weather today isn't it? Yeah? I guess. You have your finger in my ass. Yeah. And then you know the old cup and cough. And have you had the results yet? Yeah so far so good. Okay good. And they took loads of blood from me and basically they said I'm verging towards high blood pressure and need to lower my cholesterol. Yes. That's what I took away from that. Well you might have to get onto statins.

Which is the drug. I'm just changing my diet. Yes but you might need to also get onto statins. I'd quite like to do that. I'm not doing it. You're not doing statins? No. Why? There's no evil inside my body. No evil inside your body. Here is a little box of orange candy. I bet they're delicious and look here's a little character looks like Pac-Man in a wizard's hat with two tongues Paul. A black tongue and a red tongue. I think it's a licorice thing. Yeah two-tone licorice. Oh here's some more dried m... oh my god it's bacon on the go. It's just a stick. Is this in date? Because that looks rancid as hell. Look at the grease on that. Eww.

Has this come open? I don't think so. We don't have to eat that mate. I'm going to give it a sniff but I want to eat it. I couldn't find a date on it. I quite fancy that right now. If it tastes rancid I'll spit it out. You couldn't see a date. Yeah there's a date here. What does it say? 7th 15th 25th. We're way in.

But it does say eat as soon as you open it. Oh yeah you don't want to leave that lying around. I think it turns to asbestos dust. Oh there's a letter in here. It's a rasha of bacon, one single rasha and it looks delicious. There's a letter in here, hang on. Hello Paul and Eli, long time listener of your awesome show, first time sender of goods. Inside this parcel I hopefully gave you the cheer for leader for it, which which you did there is a range of treats from fudge to cider I put the fudge in the fridge at home and I forgot to take it out. Oh you forgot? Another day. Are you a big fudge fan? I'm not a big fudge I mean I don't like fudge so much. I didn't have room in the bag for it I didn't want to pack the fudge in too much

you know what I mean? I didn't want to be known as a fudge packer. Oh my god! What? What? You can't say that! It's just orange fudge. I thought it would melt in my bag. You said fudge too Matt. I'm just saying fudge and fadge. Fadge fudge. I remember fadge. I had a girl who had fadge fudge once. Stop. Stop this filth. Like dairy leaf. Oh what's that stuffed brown cheese that they get in Denmark? Have you heard of that? Yeah I've had brown cheese. It's not real cheese. There's a fine sauce and a good chutney. Oh there's chutneys as well. Oh my god. But I've left those at home for another episode. I can't bear this. Oh we've got this. He's teasing me with fudge and chutney. Right he's handed me plastic. This is a boozer. No I don't think it's booze. I think it's just soda.

Oh that's nice. We can try that. I do have two big ice cubes waiting to go. It's a super sour drink. And the bacon is from them as well. It says Paul, Stang, the world's most sour soda. Yeah. It's blue ras. It's fucking blue ras. It's always blue ras, innit? Thank you very much for that. And then there are these two things, one each.

This is a Lil Nitro, the world's hottest gummy bear. Oh no, we're not doing these. How was this discovered? Lil Nitro is an extremely spicy and has the potential to cause skin and mouth irritation. This product is intended for adults and kept out of reach of pets and children. Lil Nitro is not to be consumed by those with heart or respiratory conditions. We both have respiratory conditions. One of us probably has heart conditions.

I'm not saying which one. We all know don't we? What? You. Why do you say that? Flamethrower candy company. Well you're the one who just said you have high blood pressure. It's not the same as having bad heart.

That is hard. That's to do, it's all connected up. Jesus. The luck of... It's all connected up mate. Get a fucking science degree. You say, I just don't get it about you. You say my heart is connected to my blood vessels.

Yeah. I don't think so. Fuck it out. Anyway, but honestly, that might ruin our day. I mean, we did do the hot chip challenge. We could do that at the very end of the show. It's going to be hotter than that. We could just nibble the ear off one of these.

Get one out and nibble it. I want to look how the Scoville racing is. It doesn't say, does it? How can you judge? Look at the ingredients. Anyway, this is from a Pint of Cthulhu podcast. Thank you, Matt. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

9 million SHU chili extract. What does that even mean? Have we done 9 million? 9 million. That's three million higher than the chip I believe. Fuck off. It says here nine million SHE. Okay let's do that today but let's just agree to a nibble maybe the ear off the bear. Yeah we're not doing it as a challenge we'll have to eat the whole thing. So there. Taste that, taste the ear of one of these bears. Yeah that's it

we're not gonna, we're not, we, I don't want to end the day. I'm getting peckish mate. Leighton J. Okay Leighton J sent us the salami crisps. Nice one cheers mate. The Mars croissant. I'm gonna have that. And the scratchings. Love pork scratches and they look proper traditional like they're all gonna be hairy. I like when I get a bit of an eye on you know. A bit of scratches have like organs attached. I like a pig's tooth and a hairy eye now. Oh yeah you're right black spiced rum cracking we've been given two little glass little jars. Oh they're little handle ones. I love this. They're cute. I love this. It is considered to be sort of at the higher end but the whole idea of spiced rum is anathema to serious drinkers Paul. Fine. I don't even like rum but you know what I don't like even more than spiced rum. Well I don't mind rum. Are you going to have some of this? Yes definitely. Maybe not right now because they are lovely little bottles. We have all these

ciders which I believe are from the Cthulhu podcast guys If I am wrong can please someone correct me in the comments or get in touch with us and we'll thank you in another episode Oh this one, the dog theme, it's strong, this is called Muddy Scamp and it's like a black Labrador head on the can This is called Muddy Scamp and it has a dog's face on the can, a black Labrador. Oh, he's in a smart jacket. Oh, he is.

Could be Lord Huntington, the fart-sucking dog. Muddy Scamp, naturally punchy medium dry cider, which actually appeals to me. Appeals to me, yeah. I like it dry. I like it dry. Do you like it? Like a dry cider? I like to get it all in there. Are we talking about drinks?

What? You're just... He did a thing where he spat on his fingers as if he was going to finger someone. I didn't do that. I had a cough. That's disgusting. How dare you? Well they can't see you do it. So you can say anything about me?

Is that what you're saying? You can just say anything. I don't know why you'd make things up about me like that. He's sticking his fingers through his fingers, his tongue through his fingers like he was licking Fanny. Unbelievable. He's doing a bumming thing with his finger and a heart. No I'm not, how dare you! Yes he is. I'm taking a photo. Bumming an arsehole! I'm not! That was me just getting some fresh air in me mouth.

He's doing a felching fucking thing. I didn't know. And now he's opening a gorillas fanny or something. Baboon. Right, so that was one. This is fucking ridiculous. Muddy Scamp. You've got two of those. We've got two of these ones called Katie and Perry. Also animal themed.

Yeah, a medium sweet Katie apple and Perry cider. Oh, Perry, do you know what a Perry is? Yes, it's kind of like baby sham. It is baby sham. Yes, but it's pear wine. It's pear rather than apples. Yes yeah yeah yeah. Hello. And then finally we have dandy dab which is a little ducky this time. It's a duck. I do like the artwork on these. Which just says single variety medium cider.

Okay so that's just sort of the basic or original flavour. Oh first wash for the summer. Oh look it says nose. Rich apple with earthy tones. Taste follows the nose with citrus flavour. Great with pork, mushrooms or wintry root veg. Paul, what am I holding up? Bacon. Pork. That goes, we compare these, we compare the pork with that one.

Well do you want to start with Dandy Dab then? Can we have the bacon rasher as well? If you want, I don't want that. Are you not even going to taste it? No. You seem to think that just because we get scent things, I need to eat everything that scents. Why can't I taste the bacon? Why don't you want to just, you taste it, you live it.

I'm going to put all the other stuff away while you get your bacon out. I'm going to start on this bacon which actually is mouth-watering to me. I love bacon. I know you do but I just don't fancy bacon vacuum sealed into a plastic pack and then given a shelf life of a full year. You're squeamish. It's a bit windy today on the Heath though hopefully the moth is doing some work too. We need to get this get the rubbish bag out and ready because I'm going to be right I'm getting the rubbish. We couldn't prepare with a rubbish bag which is rare for us.

Yeah but it's I'm going to put all this candy back in the bag for now as well. Eli's getting his meat out. Oh smell the bacon at least. I will at least give you the grace. It's got a nice bacon smell. Get in the fucking bag why is it so odd. Why is he physically a prick. Hang on I'm snuffing the bacon strip. To be fair it doesn't smell too bad. I like smoky bacon you can't go wrong. I'm looking for some crisp but it doesn't look very crisp. No it looks a bit wet and floppy. Yeah here we go. Maybe even gelatinous. You meant to have it with the cider. I'm opening my cider. You know what the overwhelming thing is there? What? Sugar. Oh fuck. He's tasted the, this bacon tastes of sugar.

Sugary like in a kind of caramelized sugar or just like fake sugars. Just like a sweetness but it's stronger than the saltiness. I'm just picking the camera the microphone up now to bring it closer to us. It's it's more sweet than salty which is weird but it just tastes sweet I don't know how to describe this to you but it I get it, I can understand it's sweet. Yeah, it's very sweet and not very salty but in terms of the texture quite nice. There is a crispness on the meat bits. There's too much fat on it for me, I'm not a huge fan of the fat. Get the bin bag.

Well done. Have I knocked something over now? Your superior reach has come in handy on two occasions today. Go go gadget, go go Ganon arms. But as you reached into the deep log to find our first cachet and I tried it my arm wouldn't go down that long. No. This is going down a treat this piece of bacon I'm gonna finish it. Have it with your cider like it agreed like it said in the... Look at the fat on it though, that's disgusting. I don't like it.

Mmm. Right, so you like that then. Yeah. Good, I'm glad. You put the em in the bag. Have it with your cider, come on. No, I'm not. It says you enjoy it with pork.

Have you opened one of these ciders? Yeah. Well tell me. What's it like? Well you were too busy mouthing off with your fake... I'm pointing it at me now. You were... Oh mate, you throw me off my pace.

Right, I've opened the Dandy Dab, a single variety medium cider, 5% of alcohol. I'm gonna give you a new taste test now. Do it. It's quite dry, but not completely unsweet. It's actually quite balanced. Medium is what they describe it as. It's actually quite refreshing, mate, and I think it would have gone well with your pork.

Well I've still got the taste of pork in my mouth. I'll give you a fucking taste of pork in your mouth if you want some. I don't. Like if you're hungry. Blah you don't count as a human so therefore I can do what I want to you. Wow. Your human rights are only valid if you were human. This is all evidence for the inevitable court case in about five years time. Podcast host fall out of a bum snapping incident. I'm going to pour some of this cider into a shambhala reusable pint glass. Nice.

Plastic. And he's going in for his taste now. I like it. It's nice isn't it? It's a little bit of a sulphur note, like an eggy note. Most ciders have that though I find, especially scrumpies. Yeah they do don't they. I just realised that now, especially when the was all fizzing into

my nose there's a sort of egg but to me that tastes quite sweet it's a medium but to me that's quite sweet and I would prefer something drier yeah and more more tangy more of it more sour I'll say this it's nowhere near like copperberg varieties of sweets which is you know lollipop candy, chupa chups laced. It is proper cider. It's proper cider, it's not some of that crap, yeah, that horrible... This is two units, by the way. That Copperberg stuff and like that, they shouldn't even call it cider, really. Should they? Because it's basically an Alka-pop, it's a sweet...

What's the difference between that and like two dogs or something, you know? Or a Breezer, a Bacardi Breezer. Make fucking Bacardi Breezers. What the fuck was all that about? And they stopped. I don't know. I don't think they're a thing anymore. I don't understand how Oasis, the still soft drink, exists. And it's all over the place still.

And they haven't advertised ever since like the 90s. How is that real? What's gone on there? Isn't it a Coca-Cola brand that now? Or is it? So they're just like, it gives a fuck. Yeah, they just do it. Right, so shall we just enjoy a little bit of a picnic or do you want to try one more of these snacks? Do you want to try the salami crisps or the pork scrap? I completely devoured that. I've had a noodle today. No, it wasn't that much of a bacon thing though. You know what I mean? It was just a little strip. It was a rash of bacon, real bacon. It was like a load of meat. I'm saying you could afford to. It was just a snack and it was strangely sweet but apart from that the

meat the original meat was good quality I don't have an issue I like dried meat products. Yeah me too. You do but why did that put you off so much? That's just the fat. It's the fat and also I'm just just there's just something like my brain goes look at that does it look like something you want to eat and my brain Goes no, okay, what it comes down to? So Eli is opening the salami crisps now. The chilli flavour ones. Okay, chilli. Shall we? I don't want to start with the normal but I guess there's no rush we can eat them whenever It's our picnic. We haven't done a picnic episode in a while, so I thought it'd be nice to have a picnic. Geocache picnic. Yeah, it's a nice geocache picnic and we've already got one geocache.

And if you want to, you can say this is the third part of an ongoing series of almost picnic episodes. We had the Winnie the Pooh episode and we had the pagan picnic in Twickenham. Now I have... Ooh, that's a nice smell. Ooh. What is it? It's like an ultimate cri- it smells of crisps, funny enough. Oh, it does smell of crisps, but also it does very much smell of salami. So what is this? It's dried salami. Salami crisp, super dried, not fried for maximum crunch and flavour.

Perfect with a pint or glass of red. Finely ground, dried, maturing, smoked pork sausage and then the usual shit you'd expect to find in it. Nitrates and stuff. There are some allergen information, may contain celery, mustard, soya, milk derivatives. What does that mean, milk derivatives? Like whey? Like whey. That's what they usually mean, it's just one aspect, like the protein or the lactose. Yeah, this one. I'm gonna have a little bite of this. Interesting. I kinda don't know how I feel yet. I keep going from yeah, no, yeah, no. Texture's good. It is crunch. Nice texture. It feels under-seasoned

to me, like under-salty, like a bit dull in terms of the flavour. When it gets mulchy in your mouth then more the spices seem to come out. No tasty really and definitely would be good with beer. Yeah well I mean I've got a cider so I'm having that. Don't have a glass of red love. Oh yeah these are the chilli ones not the regular ones that's right yeah. Are you getting any heat? Are you getting some heat? Tiny little smidgen. Yeah they're fine kind of unexciting but kind of does the job. Yeah, just a little dull for me, a little dull, a little under seasoned. You think the other ones are going to be better then? We'll have them later. I don't think they're going to be better, they're the same brand. So I think they're going to be almost exactly the same because I'm getting, there is very slight chilli but

very very background. I wonder if you need to jostle it and hoof and then like maybe there's like spices on the bottom of the packet. They just feel under salted to me. Right well this has been 20 minutes it's been a full-on 20 minutes so we're gonna enjoy a little bit of our picnic snacks and then I think it's time to find another geocache so we'll come back to you a little bit until then. A little bit until then? Yeah I know. I haven't quite nailed ending sentences ever in my life, have I? No! Hello.

Thank you for admitting that. No, it's fine. It's just part of the colourful characteristics that is Paul Gannon. The moon. The moon. The projection of the moon. The projection of the moon. The hologram in the sky.

Well, the way an actual flat-earther would argue is that it looks blue in the part of the moon. Do you see what I mean? Yeah. Blue moon. So they'd say that's the blue sky shining from behind. moon, do you see what I mean? Yeah, blue moon. So they'd say that's the blue sky shining from behind. The sky, yeah. But it's not. But it's not like refraction off the dot.

Although I do often go, wonder how is it you can see the moon during the day? Well because you think of it. I mean I get it, I get it. It's over there and the sun's over there. It's just we're used to not seeing it. It's just what you're told as a kid is the moon is the night and the yeah, but the real world is much obviously much more complicated I still haven't seen proof of night either. I still haven't seen the sky don't go dark yet 46 years you think I'd seen it once of course. I'm joking. It's a callback to one of our cheap shot episodes

Which are on YouTube. Why don't you go and watch them? They're fun. Subscribe. Some people thought we might be YouTubers. Oh yeah, we had two, well hopefully new fans who heard us talking fucking bollocks by a tree. Which is always nice when they go... Oh by the way Paul, I'm finishing these. I was going to say, I don't know if I like these. Suddenly the bag's spinning like the Back to the Future DeLorean sign on the tarmac. The problem is I'm hungry. Which is fine. I mean, we're having a picnic.

Eli's getting his coat on and I am opening up the app for the geocache to go to our second geocache location. Right, so do you want to go for nearest? Because there's one here right in the thick of all those trees over there. I don't know if that, no is it there? It's that way. All right. Hang on, I guess we'll know when we click it. I don't know if that... No, is it there? It's that way. Oh, alright. Hang on, well guess we'll know when we click it.

I'm going to click it now then. Clicky clicky. Yeah, I want that one. So, yeah, it's that way behind us basically. Right over the hill, yep. Yeah, into the thicket. So we're going to head off right now to it. To cache number two. Cache away. Errrr...

You've got something to put in the next one haven't you? Yeah you have, you've got your little fishy prawn haven't you? It's not fishy. It's plasticky prawn. Rubby, rubber. Rubber prawn. What was the term I used to refer to this object Paul? Rubber fishy prawn.

No it was not. What was it called then? It was a rubber shrimp. Rubber shrimp, rubber shrimp. It's a lure. Oh for fishing tackle. Yeah that's right. Did it used to belong to a fisherman at some point you think? It did. And it retains the maggoty smell of its history. It doesn't have a maggoty smell it's never been used. Why can I smell maggots coming from you then? Why is there a maggoty smell coming from you? Paul that's because I've got terrible hygiene. Yeah. Is that what you're trying to imply?

I'm glad you said it. It's not true everyone. It is, it's very true. I make the history of this podcast. Oh my god. You know what, I've had one. I've had one. And it's got over, the podcast is over. You've had one and you're not, you're not being civil. Whatr brr brr brr. What's this? Control's coming. Hello Control? Yes? There's a mission. What? A Pition?

Oh, Paul Gannon's on a Pition Impossible. I have to go. Well, you have to wait till the next cache. Yeah. Unless you're gonna piss onto the last Geo cache. I'm not gonna piss there. You dirty fucker. You will, won't you?

You're gonna ruin it for everyone. You ruin it for the whole Geocaching community. I'll never piss on the Geocaching community, literally or figuratively. We are going to set off now and make our way to the second location point where we hope to find another cache box and add our name to its masses. Right, oh, we're getting up side when you get old, aren't we? When you've been doing a podcast for ten years. I ain't as fleet as foot as I used to be.

Oh, there's me tobacco. I can't believe that. Right, we're doing a cursory trek of the year in Vyrons to make sure we haven't left anything. Don't forget to put those cans in the bag, our bin bag. We've got a bin bag, so we're alright. We can carry our trash as we go. I'm surveying the ground I don't see anything I've got my phone got my wallet got me a don't know where my

headphones are probably packed them away if I haven't well oh no there they are next to me candies right bag zipped up right and we're off to the next cache. So let me just double check again what it says. Eli's flicking out the water from his cup. Here's a Geobala truck cup. Fucking stop trying to say things. That's your can. Shambala reusable plastic cup.

This is Shambolic more like. I will not be priviledge or privy. Privy. Privy. Privy I mean. I will not be privy to you dissembling language and like till we just get into a state of pure meaninglessness and error. Oh this says ninja cache. 0.4 miles.

Sweet. What do you think ninja cache means? Well it refers to ninjas Paul. Yeah but why do you think, I mean I know that. I can't. But what do you think the word ninja in itself implies in regards to this cache? Well what does a ninja imply? Stealth, secrecy, extreme violence, athleticism, yes. Well how could it, perhaps we have to climb a tree, perhaps we have to climb over some kind of wire and like jump around on a roof and then kidnap a princess or something.

Yeah maybe. Or maybe we have to be, or you could be a ninja if you go by the 80s movies because you know you're a white man with a beard and moustache. So you could just put a bandana on and just go instant ninja. Right have we got everything? Is that everything? Nothing's left. We're not leaving any detritus. Right we're off, we're off on our way. We'll see you at the Ninja Cache stop. How exciting. No, it's too near. We've got to go further. So we're about a point of a mile away.

Currently. Yeah. A lady tried to help us and then we said... What are you looking for? What are you looking for, mate? She said. No, I think she was South said... What are you looking for? What are you looking for mate? She said... No, I think she was South African. What are you looking for mate?

Whatever, she was reasonably attractive. Anyway, we said we're looking for... You're not only supposed to get horny, you've had a whole can of cider. Wait for me to get to two. Right now I'm just like slightly aroused. Like there's a little bit of fizz, but not too much, just a tiny little bit. I think it's because you need a wee wee, isn't it?

The wee wee is blocking the gunk pipe. Once I clean out the pipes, once I've changed the barrels, you know? It's time for your Pish and Impossible one and my Pish and Impossible two. Oh look, is this a shed? No, is someone just put a bunch of logs up together? It's like a little cool. They're just like...

What is that? A lean-to. It's just found some natural art or whatever. It's not natural art. Someone's trying to make a little shelter or something. Should we sit in there? No, because it's pathetic. Is that where the geocache is? No, I don't think we're anywhere near it yet. I think we're not too far away.

There's a hill here, a steep... Let's have a look. We've still got a point of a mile to find it that way in some way Yeah Yeah, take a photo of that because um the point I was going to make is yeah Most of these are going to be hidden obviously but on YouTube or Instagram. I've seen really elaborate Geocache locations where you get there, and it's a box on a wall. You know it's a box on a wall and I saw one where you had to open it and then there was a picture of

like Gandalf or something and you had to use a magnet to open a drawer when the drawer came out this wand came out and when you use the wand you had to use it on the sign to find the words that had magnetic points and those magnetic points would open a padlock which would get you into the geocache box. Like a crystal maze. Or a geocache puzzle box or escape room. That kind of vibe. Kind of like a mini escape room on a fence in the middle of nowhere. An outdoor room but it's not a room.

It's just a geocache. I love that kind of thing. I don't think we're going to see anything like that but I'm crossing my fingers. It would be nice if we saw anything like that. And I mentioned, because this is quite close to the location from American Wealth in London, if they mention that on the geocache that'd be nice because they I like the fact that that the first one we found mentioned Boudiciers mound here's a bench what does it say? eternally holding soul catch the dew of heaven and

blossom in loving memory of Mary Elizabeth Lisa Roche Bragg from Mary Elsa Bragg and Mel Elsa Bragg and Melvin Bragg. Melvin Bragg! The South Bank show? Must be. I saw him in Habsley Village last year or whatever he looks ancient. Yeah I didn't know he was still alive. He still does one of the most long-running podcasts and radio shows on yeah in our time. Oh did you see that? It's fucking got like 4,000 episodes or something honestly yeah Melvin Bragg for most international viewers or listeners sorry he was a UK celebrity who kind of had it well he had a show called the South Bank

show which was an art show wasn't it he's a novelist and broadcaster yeah and the South Bank show was a show that celebrated the art whether it's theatre film music art itself sculpture all those kinds of things. Highbrow kind of Brits stuff. Highbrow. In fact we used the music from it last week, the other week on the Grumpy episode. It's a fantastic piece of music that. Yeah, you know it. Just coming back to this Paul, this bench that we've just found, there's a little plaque

that's been added afterwards saying how fortunate to have awakened with such a fierce sweet passion. It's like me in the morning when I wake up. Big old throbbing chopper. You know when you get the early morning throb chopper mate when you wake up you know what that is you know why you men wake up with an erection? It's the bladder pressure I thought. No so when the brain is like getting ready to wake up,

it kind of runs for a system reboot of your whole body and it engorges your sex loins. And if you wake up too early when your brain's slowly rebooting, that's why you wake up with an erection, because it's like your brain going for the process of waking up and that involves getting an erection for a bit.

At least that's my excuse when I wake up in the park in the morning. Oh no no no that wasn't good. Don't tolerate that. I know I shouldn't tolerate that. If you tolerate this then your children will be next mate. They were right the Manix. They weren't right in anything. They were right. They were the world's most overrated group and I will stand by this. I go by Radiohead with that comment. You'd rather listen to fucking Man Extreme Preachers? Than Radiohead, yes. I'm gonna die on that hill. I don't know if I can even continue with this shit now.

Look, we still got a way to go. I'm just saying it's personal taste. I don't care for either of them really, but if you had to like force me to listen to one album I'd rather listen to, I don't know, that big one they had in the 90s. If you tolerate this then your children will be able to listen to it. Oh, is that what the album was called? Yeah, fair enough. Then any Radiohead album, I'm sorry. I like their first couple. I just, you know what, I'm fucking sick of everyone raving about OK Computer. I don't know what's appealing about that at all, it's dirge. Grizzly noise dirge.

That's just my opinion of a 46 year old man who you don't really wanna listen to their fucking opinions anyway. They had their time to be important. I had my time to have a say and be important and it's gone now. I'm reaching middle age and this is gone. I know. 27 27 28 is when you

meant to make it when you meant to be big I know you're never gonna be big it's not what my doctor says what does your doctor say cut out the fat food Well you have to change your diet. I know and I am and I'm going to the gym. I've gone to the gym now. You've gone to the gym once, did you? Twice now. Cool. Uh oh, we've not necessarily crossed a little river, riverlit, riverlit and there's a little log here. Can we check the app?

Yeah, I've just checked it. We've still got like another two minutes of walk ahead of us. Right, I've crossed a little log bridge. Good work. See we still got it. We still got it. So hey we've never found the swing on the Hampstead Heath have we? There are some and this looks like, you're right because it looks like the type of place where you'd have a swing on a little hill, on a hillside. A wooded hillside is the perfect place. You can start from the higher ground and swing out over the lower ground. I'm looking so we're keeping an eye out for a swing. Don't worry whenever out and about we're always looking for a swing.

I think I feel like we're getting away from it now. No, look here we are. We're going around here. We're there. Let's see. It's kind of directly ahead of us up and over. No, no, no because... Yeah forget that little blue one over there, forget that.

I am. It's there. Yeah I just said that. Let's go up this hill let's go up this is it up and over right we're going up and over see in a bit what the other toad tree because there's as I obviously have mentioned before yeah there's a photo of me as a young child yeah inside that very tree the hollow of that tree, looking out. And so it's somewhere we used to come, like it was like an attraction when we were kids and walking on the heath. Yeah, the toad tree,

because when we'd climb up inside it. Why is it the toad tree? Because it was just called the toad tree to our family, because I was put inside there once and I put my hand on a toad. Oh. A real toad. A toad living in the tree. So it's your family. It's called the toad tree. But there's a little sign there because they've fenced it off now because it's obviously structurally...

Oh is that it? Yeah, it's famous that tree. And it's much older. You can see the actual way that this copse has developed. If you see this, for example, this massive oak in the middle, but you can see there's smaller ones all in a circle around it So that's like the mother tree acorns from that tree probably seeded most of these smaller ones So I just want to look at the tow tree sign what it says, please. All right, but be quick. We're right here Well, no, cuz we're like a hundred foot away from her thing. I just oh god All right. Why have they have the sign facing inwards towards the area you can't enter? All right well that's you know very unorthodox mate. Maybe jump over and over and we'll come back in from the other side of it. Here we go.

Help us protect valuable trees. Right. This area has been fenced off to protect the delicate roots of a veteran tree that's the toad tree. Okay. Compaction of the roots causes irreversible damage and leads to the decline. I did not know that. That's not what I would have thought. I would have thought people are climbing inside it and damaging it that way. But it's actually if you walk on the ground around it, it compactifies the roots. Wow. I like that level of detail from the sign you know. I mean it makes sense doesn't it? Yeah. it. For further information and a virtual tour of some of the Heath's veteran trees scan that. That's good isn't it. We're not here to do that. This is one

of 14 green spaces managed by the City of London at little cost to the general public. Good unlike the fucking King who's like oh here's my royal park gizzard bob right let's quickly walk over here so we're not compacting the roots no we were respectful we went round the outside but I'm glad they're trying to save the toad tree just like a... and we're in a lovely copse, I must mention one of my favourite spots up here it's on a little hill it's a copse on a hill and we're just crossing across the crown of the crops, the copse crown if you will, into another little furrow right yeah and that's where the geocache is is it? Well we are currently 50 feet away from it in this direction. Yeah, it must be just down the hill there. It must be. Are we going to open the hints?

Well it'll beep won't it? Like it did for you? When you get close. Or maybe it's by that bench. We've got to go down a slope. Oh this is a steep slope. I'm using the roots as semi- uh oh he's gone straight down. All right I'm going. Oh shit. Oh oh god oh I'm going into the tree. Okay it's all right we're good. Okay it's alright we're good. We must be able to do this bench like in the roots of the tree behind us. Wait now why are we at 78 feet away now? Why has it changed?

Can I have a look at it please? Re-centre hang on re-centring. Is it up there? We've gone past it. We've gone up the hill again. Oh my god. But it said it was down the hill. Right I've got to go was down the hill.

Right, I've got to go back up the hill now. I can't help it, I just fell down this. It must be up here. Somewhere. 60, 70, 70. Can I have a look please? Oh, I've seen it. Oh is it that? Hang on because it could just be trash. I saw it, did you see me spot it? Yeah. Did you see me spot it? But is this the right one? Of course it is, what else else is this it says we're still 100 feet away well can't be right I'm opening it I mean it's a

Tupperware box it's been gaffered black gaffered this is definitely it oh it says ninja ninja yeah why it's just that the GPS is wrong I just want some fucking credit for like my eyesight I saw that glinting inside this I know well done from at least 10 meters off if you hadn't found it we might have been stuck here I reckon yeah because just look at this it's still safe yeah it's not accurate the app is it okay we found it you want to but then I can't log it because it says we haven't found it according to this you know what I mean

navigate I mean we're here you're right I'm not arguing where we are but this app is wrong we have to update it I'll probably get you to pay to update it I might have to have a wander around until it clicks and I'll just arbitrarily tap it then I don't think that's the most important thing we know we found the cache just ticking them off on the app isn't the thing it's putting our name in the actual physical cache We're here and we found it in the log, proof. We know, you know we found it We'll take visual proof Yeah okay so they've got a good, already liking this cache more than the first one yeah because they have a

cache log and it's intact. Nice little booklet. Let's see what other treats we've got in here. Yo-yo or something? No. What is it? It's a little sweet. It's a magnifying glass or something. It is. It's a little magnifying glass. Oh that's nice. No it's like a bug, I don't know what that is. I think it's a magnifying glass. It seems to have no magnification. Oh it's like a monocle. Oh yeah there's no magnification. Anyway, toy magnifying glass maybe. Because they can cause fires so maybe it's just a toy. Yeah. A child's bracelet. Wrist bracelet thing. Bangle. Bangle. A bangle with a butterfly detail. Yeah nice. Little pencil. See this is much better. Yeah, better looked after. Yeah. What else is in there?

Like tickets and stuff. Oh a little pin badge. Oh those bloody, these badges appear everywhere. Everywhere, I've got them on my board. They're shaped like shuttlecocks. What are they? No I found this out and I can't remember what they're for but I think it's on my... But they've all got different pictures on them. I think there's something to do with like nature walking and stuff the little badges for right well there's two of them there's one that depicts a sort of castle wall maybe it's a and one that depicts a stag beetle stag beetle there's a little picture here biscuit fairies they were here this year yeah they put a little sticker and they were Americans as well they used they're one of those cameras

that prints out on to a little sticker and they put it in that's cool a little printer that attaches to your phone that what it is. Yeah. You should get one of those. No. They're thermal. It's a little thermal printer isn't it? He did it on Techmoan didn't he? Yeah. But they're Yanks as well. I guess so. 1901. No, that's not. Isn't it? That's normal. Yeah. Oh, maybe they're not then. Okay, so 2025. Yeah. Yeah, that's new. They were recent They are three young ladies calling themselves the biscuit fairies. Shout out to you. How many little things have you got to put in? Little? What? Don't worry. I'm thinking, you know. Have you run out already?

I didn't bring any in the first place, so I forgot about that bit, didn't I? A little leaflet for Anne Marie. I thought by one thing I could donate it. There's a little advertising leaflet for Anne-Marie Chagnon who makes jewelry looks like. Oh lovely. That's a bit self-promotion-y. There's a ticket for... Italy? Monopoly it says. Monopoly Barry, Cambiodinim Riborto but where is it? Looks like an Italian train ticket. It does yeah. Euros 3.30. Class 2, Second class. Must be an Italian ticket. It's some kind of loyalty card thing for corner cuts. That is in bad shape. That's a poor choice.

And there we are. Alright, I'll take a picture of that. I'll tell you what. Oh, and a little felt child superhero. Hero character. Right, have you got the little book? So we're going to write in it then. We need to write in the little book.

Do you want to use that little pen? May as well, since it comes with. Little pencil. Bookie's pencil. Bookies pencil. All right you can fill in this one this time. Just say Cheap Show. I'm gonna say my name. Oh the vanity of it. Eli and Paul from Cheap Show. Oh there's pages of it. Yeah good. This month Nikki and Adam. Yesterday. Oh is that yesterday's the seventh today yeah wow that's funny isn't it Nikki and Adam well they were here yesterday yeah crazy I just want to get this

chronological don't get excited I'm getting excited everyone I'm not allowed to get excited I'm not allowed to let the froth foam. I'm putting Eli plus Paul. Thank you. Two L's. Cheap show. C E P S O W. Cheap sell. You're not going to put me off. I learned to read very long time ago. And write. Who would not speak? Fuck your mouth. Fuck your mouth. Alright, what's the date? 7th?

7th today. 7th. And you want to sign it again? Why not? 07, 04, 25. 25. Yeah, we've left our imprint on this. And there's my little signy. Yeah. And I literally spotted, I don't, I spotted the sunlight shining off because they've gaffer taped it so it's less noticeable. They've gaffer taped the tupperware

box in black gaffer tape but I still saw it gleaming. That's what caught my eye. It's in a, at the top end, it's basically an old log, an old tree trunk that's lying against a hill old tree trunk that's lying against a hill and the topmost end it's in that end of the tree trunk. A much better cachet than the Bodiki Buda Sears mound cachet. Much better cared for, nice log book, dry log book and I think it might deserve the rubber shrimp. I mean is it deserving of the rubber shrimp? I think if you're gonna put your rubber shrimp anywhere you may as well put it here. It's a classy box. Can you sniff the rubber shrimp though?

Will you sniff the rubber shrimp? Yes I will sniff your rubber shrimp. Go on whip your rubber shrimp. I might put a post-it note in with the rubber shrimp saying sniff the rubber shrimp as well. That's... no. Don't upset or confuse anyone who comes after us. Why? They would like to sniff my rubber shrimp.

Well maybe they'll think it's like you've put something odd on it. Like you've rubbed your shitty fingers on it or something. Update on the rubber shrimp. I can't find the rubber shrimp. Oh dear, the rubber shrimp was a bit of a red herring. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Good one.

Seafood themed. It wasn't a pocket, wasn't it last time? No, it wasn't it last time? I'm sure you whipped it out of your pocket when we sat on the bench at the top of the park. Anyway, Eli's dropped the ball as always. How have you lost it honestly? How have you lost it? I'm sure you had it in a pocket. Is it in a jacket pocket like your little black jacket pocket?

No. Maybe it's inside mine. Yeah like a breast pocket or something? Can you just find it or not find it so I can stop saying the word pocket? Just choose a different word. Jacket hole. Jacket hole. Jacket socket. Sealed jacket hole. Yeah. I can't find it. Well maybe put something else in them just for now. Maybe you'll find it. Oh have you found it? Let me smell the rubber lort. I feel bad about letting go of this shrimp. Mate you made such a big fuss about this. Look at him he's all got sparkles he's brown with sparkles you know what those sparkles are for? Glitter. Well that's what they are. I mean to allure the fishing with like glist. Yeah oh mate I've got fucking rash. No that looks like you've pricked yourself on something. Oh no it's itchy. Oh he's got blood on his wrists. Something's bit me. Yeah.

From inside there. Maybe it's when we crawled. No you know what it was when we crawled through that fence when we tried to climb that hill and we clucked, lumbered through all those branches and things. That must have been when you caught yourself. Stinging nettle. No that's not st stinging it otherwise why you would be bleeding why did it all suddenly start itching honestly we came we got a bomb no polters no a salve I've got nothing no I've got nothing creamy that you want on your wrist here he is we need to take a photo of him before we put me in well you could do that then you're more than you can take the perfect, you know, what's what I'm looking for, not the eulogy.

Doesn't matter. I've forgotten what I'm doing. Who am I? I'm Paul Gannon. This is a cheap show podcast. Eli's putting a little rubber shrimp in a box. Good. We're on top. Have you had any photos of all this stuff? Yeah, I've taken a few photos of that.

Really? Yeah. I want to do a little bit for the video, but other than that, we're all good. So, all right, I tell you what, this is another little perfect place to have a break, have another little drink, enjoy some of our picnic and then look on for our third geocache. Should we do like three or four? How can we just do four? Four because we're both waning. I'm alright. Oh no what I was saying is yeah so we had to take a short walk up the hill

we clumbered over these fucking branches and nettles and trees things rather than going round the path. And then as we did, as we came out of the brambles, there were a group of young kids staring at us in amazement as two lumbering fucking middle aged men crawled out of the bushes like frotters, I'll say it, like cottaging frotters. I think they were a bit amused by our appearance suddenly from behind them so that didn't end up going well anyway we're gonna take a break why are you bleeding then scratched and stung and they're not

mutually exclusive I know but I saw the blood before I saw you scratching so I'm wondering if you pricked yourself on a on a tree or something maybe oh it's if it's infected you'll just lose your wanking hang. Oh good we've got a dog. That's what you see on our cheap show bingo list of walk about stuff. Oh there's something else we didn't mention. Oh what is it? A bookmark?

Daunt books. I don't know if you've seen lots of young people walk around with their totes. Daunt book totes. It's like a fashion thing. I didn't know. No? Right okay we'll see you in a bit. We're going to decamp, enjoy some beverages and then get on back on the road.

Also, Pishin Impossible needs to happen. Soon-o, most-o, soon-o, most-o. Don't know what that means. It means most soon. Yeah, mostest of soon. Right, see you in a bit everyone. Right, so little mini update. We're not gonna have a little drink and a smoke here.

We're gonna find it at our third location or certainly on the way to our third location. Our third cache, eh? Right, so little mini update, we're not going to have a little drink and a smoke here, we're going to find it at our third location, or certainly on the way to our third location. Our third cache. Our third cache. Now, I had a little wander around with the app just to trigger the bugger and log it, so I wondered, like literally in the opposite direction of where that log is. Yeah, but not very far. It's all within 10 metres.

Far enough to make a difference. It's no more than 10 metres away. Yeah, but it makes a difference if you're basing your GPS on it. I think that's within the range of that these things are accurate, honestly Paul. Fine, either way. It was actually saying on the app that it was in a different location, that's the point, than where it actually ended up. Yeah, but anyway I got to a point where I could trigger my phone, log it and then make our third one. So we've chosen to go to Kenwood Lake, it is half a mile away. Can I ask something now about the way this app works? So you have to find one before it lets you go to another one? I don't understand. No it doesn't. What I'm saying is I'm doing

it for my own good to find them so I can also take a screen grab of it at the end and show the routes. So navigate. This is a two out of five difficulty. Terrain isn't too bad. I don't know what micro means. What were the difficulty of the last two? Didn't think to check, I just noticed it now. Description. Small camo container is what it is based on this. Oh it's got some more information, I didn't know about this. I forgot why it's called ninja and stuff. Location placed near near the beautiful Kenwood lake. Take a moment to search for the cache and admire the beautiful estate behind you and the wildlife that surrounds the lake. This area is often frequented by families playing and walking around so be careful when searching for the cache.

Have a look at the spoiler picture. I'm not going to do that. If you need more hints, people have reported that the coordinates might be slightly off so in doubt look at the spoiler pic. Alright, okay, fine. They probably said something similar for the last one as well didn't it? Oh, it says needs maintenance. Can't you have a look at the spoiler pick. All right, okay, fine. They probably said something similar for the last one as well, didn't it? Oh, it says needs maintenance. Can't you have a look at the other one? The last one, I don't want to, I can't be arsed. That's why it's called Ninja. No, I can't be arsed. Or I can barks. Right, okay, we're going in.

This way? No, it's not saying this way. Let me have a look. I'm literally looking at it and it's facing in this direction, mate. Let me have a look. The arrow's that way now. Which way's the tip of the arrow? That is the... see it moving as I... Okay so yeah it's that way. Fine so we're gonna go all the way down there. Not that way then. No no but I'm looking at the wrong tip of the arrow alright. I haven't got my fucking glasses on I'm having a nightmare. Right we're off to find our third cache oh I've got to put me bag away oh and I've been eating some of the Japanese gum me and Eli had grape and it's nice so apologies for the sloppy choppy mouth have I got the microphoto yeah that's all put away all right we're all good. All right, we're all good. We're all good. We're all good.

And then we can have a piss and a smoke, good times. All right, see you in a bit. We're on a bench and it says for NASA,antari 1957-2007 with love at or whether on the bench today and where are we right now geographically? We have just entered Kenwood Estate and Kenwood House is that one on the right that you can see over there. Kenwood House, an old manor house that famously houses some Rembrandts, that's the most famous thing, like really important paintings, a self portrait or was for years and who is that journalist who wears a white suit? Ancient guy, you know him? He's often up there, can be seen up there

sitting and talking with his friend, yeah. He's another one of these Hampstead, old Hampstead sort of society geese. Yes we're in Kenwood which is an estate that is within Hampstead Heath but is as you saw, has its own closing times and is fenced off from the rest of the Heath. So we just are just over the border into it. I've had Pish and Impossible too, Paul somehow still hanging on even though he's moaning like a little girl like a little girl on the m25 in the back of a Fiat I'm just saying I'm right now not in any urgent need a pissy hole does he need pissy potty do you want to say that in public out loud?

Eli fell in a hole everyone. He fell in a divot. The divvy in the divot. Let's get some grub going mate. Wait we've got this muddy scamp. I should just finish that thought because the next Geocache, Geocache 3 for us on this wild is actually Kenwood Lake which is one of these ponds and you know what I'd like to point out to you Paul have you ever seen the fake bridge no there's a bridge that is just for landscape so it's just the front did we talk about it before you can't get on it it's not not a bridge what was that bridge we were on that was like a viaduct oh no that's up there no this is a fake bridge so it looks when you're

up the hill, you look down and it's scenic. But there's no way to get to it or cross it. No, there isn't an actual bridge, it's just a flat facade of a bridge. So you'd like to see that. It's like a weird film set thing that's been here forever since they built the house. It's famous. For the landscaping, for the view, for the posh people who are in the house to look out and it looked like a... No, no darling, there's a faux bridge. We should go and look at that. Or look at the foam bridge. It's only about five minutes walk from here.

Alright. I'm drinking now a deliciously crafted muddy scamp punchy medium dry cider which Eli should prefer over the previous one we drank. Here's me. Which is medium. I don't understand fully the whole grading system. Is that drier Paul? Oh much drier.

Oh. Tangy. Yeah. So you don't like it as much? No I... What do you think? It's just different isn't it? It's just different. What about the eggy smell we mentioned is there any less of that? There's a bit of egg in there. I can get it off your breath. Yeah there's a bit of egg in there. Right can I have one please? Yes I've already poured it out it's there. It's right there on the bench. Where on the bench? What's there? Little bear with clogs on. It's a dog. the bench. Where on the bench? Was there a little bear with clogs on? It's a dog. Oh yeah.

Eli's been doing wind by the way and as of today Paul says this is not a fart podcast. There'll be no more recording of wind and flatulence. It is not what professional podcasters should do and it's not what we'll be doing going forward. I can only apologise for previous flatulence on this podcast. There'll be be doing going forward. I can only apologize for previous flatulence on this podcast. There'll be no more going forward. Thank you. You've got to be in the mood for cider. And I don't...

Oh man, I'm always in the mood for flatulence. And the bubbly, gobbly, gobbly mood. Right, as mulchy fibbage our friend would say. Paul. Yeah. I've got to be in the mood for cider. I mean, if you were going to pick a sort of would you go for beer over cider do you see what I mean if they gave you that option are you going to have a drink I'd have cider would you yeah you'd have a desperado right I'm going to taste it he's

going in now he prefers dry oh yeah yeah much more I much prefer that we've got one more it's just it's more refreshing yeah unless there was a sickliness to the medium stuff I found. Almost, you know. I don't know if this is more refreshing, but you can certainly taste more of the apple in this one. More of the fermentation. Yes. Fermentation.

It's got a stronger sort of rotten apple in a good way. That fermented apple. You know that sort of flavor, that cider flavor. Yeah. Now, we also have the air dried salami crisps. Oh yeah., original flavour. I'm hoping for a better... Just snatch it right out of my hand, why don't you?

I'm hoping for a better... You are like a baby. I'm hoping for a salt... Don't hurt me. You'd snatch it out of my hand. You don't let me finish sentences and you snatch things out of my hand. You're a baby. You're a big, hairy baby.

Alright, Whatever. Mate, this is what my pants smell like. Okay? Alright, go on. I'm stuffing the bag. Dossulate. You know. The problem is, ladies and gentlemen, he's fallen in the hole again. Oh, I got a head rush.

Oh, I've had a whitey. I just had a whitey from that. Get some breads here. Oh Mr Silverman, I've had a little whitey moment. They really smell a lot worse than the chilli ones. I can't broadcast right now, the world is literally spinning on an axis. Hold the thing. No I'm holding on for this because it's totally going to keep me attached to the planet. Don't take it away.

I'm holding on to the world. It's just to keep me attached to the planet. Don't take it away. I'm holding on to the world. It's just a lack of oxygen mate, because you just finished smoking. It's not that, it was because I laughed too hard and all the blood went. Because you fell in a fucking hole twice. I'll do it again if you like it so much. Oh mate, I was literally spinning there. Yeah, the blood, it's the blood. They look very different from the chilli ones.

Maybe I was wrong, they smell different don't they? Yeah, much more potent. Tastes the same. Does it? Oh yeah, it tastes the same. You'd barely know the difference if you put them in a bowl. Dog was sniffing around for them. You could tell. You remember the dog's name? No, what's the dog's name? Quinn. Quinn the medicine dog. The dog was well aggressive, had his ball in his thing. It was like, you know what I mean? And then the owner's like grinning at us. He did discipline

it, he did. Yeah but also he kind of came into our space a bit when he pointed the dog threateningly and like he was reaching past us and was like, all right mate, get out. Or maybe that dog smelled the meat that came out between your fucking legs when you were breaking wind like the dog that snuffed my guffel earlier today. I can't believe that's actually a thing that we're saying. We've had two instances of a dog smelling our arse meat today. Maybe you're right though, maybe that's what brought him over. Yeah, he was like oh salami. Maybe. I'm not sure if it's salami. Maybe.

Right, sausages. These are slightly saltier. They are a little bit. You can finish those, I'm alright. They're a bit too salty for me. They're fine is what they are. They're fine. Oh right, I've got a headache now. If you were having a beer, wouldn't you just have some fresh salami? That's nice.

Why does it have to be more like a crisp sort of thing? So they can snackerise it. Yeah. That's it, isn't it? Yeah, but you slice some salami up, you can buy it in slices, that's already snackerised. Yeah, but this is convenient, isn't it? You buy it off the shelf, you don't think about it. Grab.

Grab. Oh yeah, and this preserves better, you don't have to refrigerate, that's the point, isn't it? Alright, cool, that's it for now, then we have anything else you want to report. I'm going to take a little break now. How about a doughnut? Oh, do you want to have that now? Because isn't it a bit much we're having cider and

then a croissant and then salami and then maybe gummies you know what I mean? There's a lot going on mate. I want a donut. If you want to eat that go for it I am not in the mood right now. What about these little sweets some of these? Do you want to try one of the sweets? Yeah I want these apple gummies. Right have the apple gummies then. There might be pictures of this stuff, there might not be. I haven't decided yet. These are Kanro Pure Sweet and Sour Fruit Gummy. It has a picture of a... Apples?

No, I think those are those big pears that you see in Chinese supermarkets. This is a Japanese product however. I have to open it and find out what's inside. It's resealable, so you're not meant to eat them all at once there, fucking you try tearing a Haribo that when I crack open a bag of golden burrs. Fuck me it's like don't bother I'm not gonna reseal it it's not happening. Let's just admit this right now. Oh that's got lovely it's pear it smells like those things I was right. Pear drops. No those big those big yellow Chinese pears that you see. It smells exactly like them. Oh I like this.

Yeah, a bit soggy feet smelly. Is it? Have a snuff. You said you liked it when you first smelled. Yeah but then they got a back whiff of what seemed to be a pumpkin. That's like the pear drop. It's quite pungent. Yeah right it's quite gummy and loose. Here we go. It's a little heart shaped gummy covered in what looks like sour sugar or whatever and it's yellow pale yellow. They're quite delicate. Oh they're nice they're quite delicate very light flavored. There is sour there. Tiny bit tiny bit not off-putting. Oh he likes them I like them. They're really appley you know what I mean? Yeah. Oh they've got that flavour of that fruit, they've done it so well and just a great balance,

it's just a great gummy, it's like a little sour gummy pear drop you know what I mean? You know? God those are excellent. They're excellent. Right well we're gonna chill and then we're gonna get back on the road for our third Geocache so we'll see you right then. Can I have the fucking cross on please? Do you want to do it off? Yeah you'll have one. While we're talking while we go off here Eli will eat this and then we'll tell you about it later. I'm not going to record this I have no intention of recording that. Mentally I just tuned off the end of the segment now I'm being brought back in. I thought I was out and he pulled me back in is what happened there. Four Father Part Three.

It is indeed and you said it was said by Ray Liotta and it is not said by Ray Liotta. No I didn't. You did. I've got it on podcast recording. I didn't mean Ray Liotta, I meant that other guy's in the film. Al Pacino. No. Al Pacino says it, he says it in the kitchen with his card. Andy Garcia is it?

No it's not him. He didn't really have a career that the others did did he? I don't care. We are not now going to spend five minutes about the career of Andy Garcia. What we're going to do is cut probably to either the next segment or a sound effect. You're going to find out now.

Right so we're in the vicinity. 33, 32, 33, 34, walking away from it. 36, 34, 30, 27, 23, somewhere this way. 14, 10, 5, 3, 6, we've gone past it, so it's obviously not here. Which is a complete open space. So I can't find it, I'm gonna press that. Get the hint. What's the hint?

We're down by the fake bridge. It's just over there, the fake bridge. Attributes, districts, whatever. Right, so some people reported the coordinates might be slightly off. So if in doubt, look at the spoiler pick or use coordinates That's the spoiler pick what does that even fucking mean?

Cachets available in 8 a.m. To 8 30 percent of summer and 8 till dusk in the winter place it back as you found it What is that even looking at? I don't understand what we're seeing in that picture. We're seeing a view, so it's a view looking over. Uh, hint. Tree woof. It says tree woof. Tree woof. Tree woof. As in dog woof. As in dog woof.

So maybe there's a... You think it's this tree? I mean, I'm looking and I can't seem to see anything on this tree. Right? Tree, it just says tree woof. What the fuck does that even mean? Tree woof. It's something to do with a dog and a tree, right? So...

And it says photos, oh, there's people taking photos of it. I reckon it might be that tree that we passed that... Oh, look, there's a tree here. Is this the tree? Yeah. The place, the tree you're looking for. Right, so there's that structure.

It is this tree. It must be this tree, right? Look, yeah. It's taken from here, that, isn't it? Is that right? With that structure, it's just to the left of it. Yes, it is, because look, come back here. If you come further, would you say that's the tree?

You've got that branch going up there, that branch going up that way. Yeah it is, isn't it? It is. Yeah, the position with the building is correct. So it must be in there somewhere. But where? Let's just have a closer look.

Where the fuck is it? Is it up? Is it high? Is it in a knuckle cranny? Oh I'm climbing a tree, half climbing a tree. Right do you want me to have a proper little look up there? Oh oh! You found it?

It's in here! It's a little, I hope it's not full of cum, it's a little tiny jar. Well done. I'm going to take a photo of the moment of discovery. Alright ok. Just fake this a bit. We're going to fake this and there's the fake bridge over there as well so we're fake everything's fake right now. Look I'm teasing it out ready? Alright Paul, yeah, alright. Tone it down. Alright, okay. Okay. Don't look at me, look at the thing. Wow. Right, okay. We're opening it up. Call me for the acting classes. It's a little bottle almost really. It looks like a little confectionary, not confectionary, a little makeup bottle.

Someone put 20p in it. Oh, I don't know, we're doing money now. We're going to do it right here. Yeah, me as well. We're here. Still alive. I can't get my fingers in. Can you get your fingers in? I can do the exploration. Well done for spotting it. Because it's quite tight in there. Well done for spotting it. Yeah, I'm glad. I like the hints when you're lining up the picture. Yeah, oh, it's like goonies. I don't know what the woof means though. Tree woof? I know bark? Is that what they were getting at? Woof bark. Kind of, it was kind of in the bark wasn't it? You could have said hole in tree. Now this is much trickier. Yeah it's all real, I don't know if we can get our fingers into that. I think we're gonna need a poker to get that, it get this stuff out there's all bits of paper in

yeah but we should add it we've got we I can got a piece of paper we got the pen we can shove it we can shove something in now we have to shove a thing in all right right look at this navigate look at this oh you got you know it's a tiny little scrap of something. It's a scrap which people have done the logs on. There's all these loose bits of paper. This is even worse than the first one. In terms of like, I'm going to just take a photo of this.

I don't think we need to delve into there. No one seems to have left much apart from that 20p in terms of trinkets. Trinkets are my favourite thing. I'll put the 20p in the lid again. No I've got it here. Okay. Right, I'm taking a photo of this scrap that people have logged on, but we should do our own log on a piece of paper and put it in there. We haven't got anything to write on here.

Yes, I do. Okay, great. No, that's fine then. Do that, please. I've got my New York notebook, don't I? I'll have to add some pictures to this myself. I'm going to take a picture of you sat by the tree. Right, so that's three out of four.

It's exciting, isn't it of you sat by the tree. Right so that's three out of four. It's exciting isn't it? Eli's by the tree There we go. I must say our picture is gonna be better than theirs Right now we're by Kenwood house to our left and on our right is the fake bridge as Eli was talking about before Has the phone said we found it? That was miles away Because I had to come out It didn't click, you should have clicked it I know, I thought it was right, ready? I found it that was miles away because I had to come out it didn't click you should have clicked it I don't want to see the info okay so yeah Kenwood

Lake there's one nearby oh two big mallards I don't know you're asking and the others like with the typical green head white collar. They're coming at me. They're coming at me our way We haven't got the cache. They smell your salami fingers Probably maybe they're Handsome little fellas are they because we saw a little ducklings being fed by little family goslings because those two geese standing by Where the parents and they were being very? Understand protective but on the protective but alright with it. These ducks are very curious. We don't have anything for you Mr. Duck though. I'm sorry Mr. Ducks we don't have anything for you. I think that would be a

bad thing to give to ducks I don't think Mars bar croissant is good for their body. Yeah yeah oh good take a nice shot with the fake one. Yeah, oh good, take a nice picture. That's nice. So we could go to one nearby and then get one on the heath and that could be our final one. We could do that if you fancy. Yeah, the extension. Which is a great part of the heath, which is across a road. Let's do this.

Because there's one here and then there's one just there. Oh, should we do five then? I'm saying we could easily do another one now because it's not too far away. Yeah, let's do it, yeah. And then head to the Heath extension. Yeah. Then we can wrap this bugger up.

I'll be honest, this has been a lot of fun. I've seen parts of the Heath today I didn't have time for before, you know? When you're just idly wandering, I never came by here. I mean, it is, like I was saying to you, if they had the eight wonders of London, the Heath would be one of them. I think so. And yes, and this is a great way of opening up bits.

But that is what's so great about the Heath. There's so much history and different things to explore, different aspects of it, because it's deep in the city these days. And also, we were saying like before, when we did the episode with the Dereev app it felt aimless and we were we were having to make it mean something whereas here we've got purpose and it's a bit of a mystery and there's joy what it is is that it's the joy of actually finding the physical cache thing itself with the Dereev app you're just like okay we're here now and this is just someone's driveway yeah no one there's no sign of that's why people like it

because of the participation the community aspect but this I have to say it's been a very poor choice of cache a box because it's not rumored people have just scum pulled bits of paper no one's gonna read that no I don't think we fit something in there to to be honest. Let's just put the paper in. Let's just do that. We'll move on to another one. We'll put something in the next one.

Cause I'm thinking like, yeah, we can maybe squeeze five out if we're quick today. But I've enjoyed this more simply because of the kind of, as I say, when you get to a random point in Dereave, it's like asking you to make meaning of it. And like, this is actually purposeful. And those ducks are staring at me still. We haven't got anything for you mate, I'm really sorry. I don't think I don't think you'd like a

croissant with Mars bar paste in. Did it taste like Mars bar? Eli had one between recording sessions. Did it taste like Mars bar? Yes it had a Mars bar fondant of sorts but the actual croissant itself it was yeah crumbly you know like those ones kind of dense and chewy and not light and fluffy but I was hungry enough to wolf it all down extremely sweet centered yeah and a low chocolate you know like Mars fine but they're nice ducks at the bridge and everything so yeah all good all good. All right, cool. Eli's writing an elaborate post here.

Cheap showing nice bolded letters. 742025 is going to write his name. You can write mine for me. I'll give you a power of attorney on that respect. And Paul. There we go. And I'll just fold it up and put it in. Make sure that 20p goes back in the lid.

What 20p? Oh, mate., stealing from the tree goblins that'll bring bad luck I tell you. I don't know what you're talking about I didn't see any 20p. Mate lie to your mate lie to yourself where you've got to go to but the tree nymphs they know the boggots the the boggots and the trolls will know mate the sprigots and the boggots and the trolls will know what you did. I don't know why you're starting this but it's not it's the cache community that we're stealing from isn't it? Doesn't matter we're not talking about them now we're talking and the boggots and the trolls will know what you did. I know why you're starting this, but it's not the Cache community that we're stealing from, isn't it? It doesn't matter. We're not talking about them.

We're talking about tree boggots, mate, and spigots and trolls and gnomes, and they're going to know you stole from their tree. And then at night, the fucking boggots are going to come in your house and fiddle with your arsehole, mate, and look for that 20p. That's well put, so... And that's what they do. You want to send it round. Alright dear Boggots if you're listening to me can you please finger 20p out of Eli's arsehole thank you very much. Right we'll see you in a little bit we're gonna put a gift in here you have to leave a gift in every

one. Yeah but I have to I want to film us putting it back in the tree so that's a separate thing we have to do so we can sign off right now. Yeah but we can sign off right now. Super cocoa. Don't put chocolate in that's a bad idea. Yeah it might ruin all the other things. Anyway this is from the States try this with me you'll like this. All right okay can I pinch a bit off? Oh no I don't want it now. Is it hard? It looks rock hard. Mmm. Oh man. Alright maybe I'll have a little bite. That's really good. Oh is this quite hard? Wait, just wait. That's alright. It's fine. Super cocoa.

Mmm. I should cocoa. Actually there's a bit of a... What is that flavour? Yeah, what is that? Like a peanut. Like a... Yeah. Nougat. Yeah.

That's right, it's a nougat. Mmm. All right. All right. I'll put the wrapper in. No, don't put the mess in. Come on, that's what they want. No, don't put anything in this one.

It's too small. I'd rather we don't put anything in it all than you put some trash in. I'm going to make an executive decision for myself as part of this journey. No don't put anything in this one it's too small. I'd rather we don't put anything in it all than you put some trash in. I'm going to make an executive decision for myself as part of this geocaching expedition Paul and I'm going to put this super cocoa wrapper in this fucking cache. Just make sure there's no sticky bits on it or anything to ruin it. I am, of course I am. These ducks are surrounding us. Look at these two cunts.

What are you doing mate? We've got nothing. Look at me like that. Go on. Go and enjoy your day. They really think something's going to happen. They think something's going to happen. Yeah, what's going to happen is I'm going to fucking kick one. Oh, they're getting close, mate. See if I can get them on mic. Mr. Ducks, what do you have to say for yourself? Where do the money go, Mr. Ducks? Those pensions? Where did those pensions go Mr. Ducks?

No, they won't speak to me on camera Put the cache back listen Let's come back to them in a minute when we can put our new coordinates in, alright? So I can film us putting this back in the tree. That's what the cocoa is. It's not nougat, it's coconut. It's definitely nougat, that was definitely a nougat taste. No, it's coconut. You know what, this is not the hill I want to die on so I don't care.

We'll speak to you in a bit. So die on it then. You die on the hill then, if it's not the hill you want to die on, don't die on it. I'm not dying on a hill, this is what I'm saying. I'm letting you win. Why, this is what I'm saying. You are, you're dying on a coca in that hill. Why is it called Super Coco then Paul and not Super Nugo? You know what, he's got me there.

Yes! He's got me there, alright, we'll see you in a bit. Take a photo of it. Get it out, get the app out, let's get this nearby cash out. Right, we're going to do, I've decided we're going to do five, this is going to be our fourth because it's not too far away. So, app, where be thy an app? Is it recording? Yes it is. So that one there, I'm thinking.

Wait, let me touch it. The Gates of Heaven. Ooh, it's going to be the gates. Oh, do you know what this is in advance? Yeah, it's going to be the gates to the park. Description. On the northern boundary of Hampstead Heath and surrounded by acres of landscape, blah blah blah,

Kenwood House blah blah blah Kebada, but a Humphrey blah blah blah following an extensive replay a bloony blah. It remains a popular blob a Place of a place of art cultural references about the cache a the magnet this magnetic cache Can be easily accessed during the opening times of Kenwood House, which is Not it's closed closed the entry is Henwood House. Which is? Not, it's closed. It's closed! The entry is... You can't do it. You need to choose a different cachet. The cachet contains a log strip for you to sign on your... Fine, so bring your own pen. Oh, that sucks! You can't do that cachet, mate.

It seems like it... I tell you what. It's not open. Alright, okay, fine. So then, we should do one of these two here. Which one? That one? Yeah, because that's on the way. Sisters Seven Pools or Upper Wheeled Piglet? Pig, Piglet, Pigettle? What's that? Upper Wheeled Piglet? Piglet. Piglet Hill, Piglet. I know where the, that's the top of a hill. Which one do you want to do? There's two. We can go. Let's do the Pytel. Yeah, let's do the Pytel. It's difficulty is two out of five. That's what they've all been to, haven't they?

And micro, I don't know what that means. That means the size of the actual cache box. It's quite small, this one. Hint. Linden Belly Button. Okay. What does that mean? Well, let's get towards it before we start worrying.

Right, 0.7 miles and it's in basically kind of that direction up and over the hill. So that way. And that's the way to the extension as well. Is there one on the extension or this is the one? I think this is the one that's the closest on the extension. Well, we're not... I mean, I'd have to come out of it to see it.

And then we just go down to the extension to finish? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking'm thinking well then we'll only do four cashews then well we could do the seven sisters one it's right next to it okay we can still do five yeah all right let's do the piglet one I'm saying is they're not quite on the extension so we can go on to the end on the finish our picnic items yeah perfect perfect all right in that case that's what we'll do. Anything to update people on? We mentioned the little dockies and we mentioned the things. Did we have the cachet? Yes, yeah the cachet was very small we mentioned that. Eli put the cocoa thing in.

I should have used this sharpie to write Kenwood Lake cachet on the side of the bottle but I think that's what you should do. Well I mean if you find it you know it I guess. No but it's nice to have that little worded I like that on the um on the first one we found it said it said Budica's mound on the actual container didn't it yeah. Here's the thing though could we add our own cheap show on we should have maybe thought about that can we add our own cache to it. Of course there's no rules because someone has to start it somehow, right? Yeah, it's purely by cooperation. Right, if we ever do a sequel. And keeping the chain going and not being a dick,

you know, and breaking it or putting poo in it or whatever. If we ever do a sequel to this episode, which is likely due to the dearth of ideas we have, we should do one where we add our own to it, or maybe add a few of our own to other locations. Actually put one out. With a cheap Show thing in. In fact if then said we should like put things in the cache to say oh look Cheap Show exists I mean we're writing Cheap Show

but we're not really putting in like the address or anything like that of our website. I think that would be quite garish but you know it's not a bad idea for viral marketing. But only if you go to the heath. Should we walk past the Henry Moor sculpture? Oh yeah we should. That's nice. Yeah the sun's right in our eyes so we're heading when does the where does the sun set due east due west?

It's the land of the rising sun is the east. Okay so west oh that's how I should remember it. So we're heading west now towards the sun heading past Henry Moor. I think we're heading sort of north westish. Yeah we are. Because didn't it say that this is towards the north of the park? It's heading north. And you know what the extension lies to the north of the main park as well. I happen to know that. Yeah that's what the extension is. We've approached the extension from the north coming south usually. That's right. Well we walked all the way down the Dollis Hill. I can't remember what that episode was

called but it was one of the Sir Shanty's... what was he called? I think it might be the first Gannon's Golden Games. No it wasn't, it was the Golden Quest. Oh Golden Quest, sorry yeah the Quest, not Games. So a soapy fresh one. Yeah, it's the first of those. It's where I saw rat-eating dog shit. Great times, great memories yeah and then a kid was staring at it. We were both watching it together. I don't remember that. You don't listen back to our episodes. I do because I have to cling on to the past. I always listen back to us. I'm vain and insecure at the same time. Yes. God. It's a lovely, this has been a lovely day for this though. It is like ethereally

beautiful this light, don't you think? Just perfect. Perfect. And it's idyllic, it's a great park. Yeah. And with the spring having sprung somewhat as well. Somewhat yeah, better than it had. I saw Ricky Gervais said. Erm, you saw Ricky Gervais as well didn't you say? Yeah. Shall we say? He said I'm an atheist. I'm a one trick pony. Right so we're approaching Ronald Moore's sculpture wherever his name is. What's his name Ronald Donald? Henry Moore. Henry Moore. There's a Henry Moore museum in Liverpool in the Alba docks, there used to be. Yes, he is the pre-Imanent British modernist sculptor. Is he alive?

No, no, no, no, no. Well he's not that modern then is he? Well that's not the modern that I meant. He can't be that modern. I meant modern as in terms of the art movement, not in terms of current. How can he be modern if he's dead? Because I'm talking about modernism, not modern times. Well you should be more clear then shouldn't you? Well I made myself perfectly clear just now. Doesn't seem like it, I'm very fogged with the information. You're just

fogged, that's the end of the sentence, I'm very fogged. Fogged, Phileas fogged. Eighty days around the world. So what have we got here then? We have a sculpture by Dr Bernard Moore. What does it say? There's a little plaque on the front, which I am now going to say is called Two Piece Reclining Figure Number 5, Henry Moore, 1963-4. Two Piece Reclining Figure. three to four. Two piece reclining figure. Don't tell me what to do. What do you think of Moore's art? Are you a fan of Henry Moore? Do you like what he does? Yes but it's become so, he was so celebrated and his work is all over the country. Wherever there's a sculpture park there's going to be one of these. These are probably his most famous

subject, these abstracted reclining figures. This is number five so there's been a two piece reclining figure number two and three. There's loads of them and these are actually based on little clay maquettes that he makes and then they're turned into moulds. You can see the surface of this. Are these or something? yeah it's a copper cast but a bronze cast rather but do you see what I mean you can see the actual work here. You know what I need to go around the other side of it because the sun's right in my eyes and all I can see is the shadow of it. Anyway I believe he worked making moulds of smaller maquettes that he made out of clay basically. And then some other bugger had to scale it up for him no I think he did it himself but you obviously have a team to build something that is almost of industrial size like this sculpture to cast it you mean you have to build a

massive mold I mean I don't even know how I mean it's about it's not a plinth so it's hard to judge but it's about six feet in height one of these and you know I mean it's light it really brings out the sculptural qualities. They're kind of formless but the point is it's formless right? Very abstracted human form, very famous. It's like you're meant to see like two people reclining right now. Yes but you know or not I mean but it's very it's similar to the sort of abstraction that you know Picasso was doing on paintings with his cubist portraits and stuff that's why it's all modernist

but he also had a famous he was in the Blitz and he famously drew lots of drawings of people in tube stations you know sheltering during the Blitz. They're very famous that Henry Moore did. They're very expressive and sort of cool. But you said, do you like Henry Moore's work? He was married to another famous sculptor, Barbara Hepworth. I don't know too much about her. They have similar forms, modernist forms,

but she used sort of filaments, almost like a stringed instrument, like a form like that, as if it had strings coming down. Oh, okay, like a harp would be good. Yeah, like harp-like her stuff is, and I think I prefer her stuff. But also a huge influence on architecture and modernism more generally. So I think I prefer Barbara Hepworth, that's my little pro-feminist. Now, if you've been listening to Cheapstay over the past five minutes and going,

fucking hell, they're talking a lot about art and sculpture, here we go. Diddley-doo-dah, clungy foreskin, gunge. And that's now, I think, settled the balance somewhat. Yeah, every now and then you've got to... dumb it down for them. No you don't. That's not even dumb. It's just unfunny crap that you spew.

Let's dumb it down. Oh look, there's a bin. I'm throwing this away. All right, you're going to throw this away. We've got two more tins left. I don't care. Okay mate. Just saying I had that bird when we did the... You said you weren't gonna put anything that was wet in it because you're not putting it in your bag and now I'm carrying the fucking bag. Yeah well I've got electrical equipment in it and cameras and stuff so I think I have a slightly better reason to keep water away from. Well those are the buildings we saw from a distance. Oh yeah. They're very Art Deco or you know what I mean like very early 20th century So I think I have a slightly better reason to keep water away from. Well those are the buildings we saw from a distance. Oh yeah, little chalets.

They're very Art Deco or, you know what I mean, like very early 20th century sort of. I wonder what they are, like gardener's houses or something. Must be. I mean they're like little chalets almost. Yeah. And there's the back of the house. Almost antebellum. What's the word I'm looking at?

Antebellum, is that the word? It's almost... And a plantation housing. It's almost like that Yes, you're right with the eaves. Yeah, I mean, it's the classic design of most haunted houses were based on the antebellum Antebellum stuff was in America exclusively. So this probably but that was stolen from European and British design. Yeah, right. Where are we? We need to get our bearings Moving into spring. You can see snakes here. Can you? Glass snakes. Coming out of hiding. I didn't know there were snakes here. Mining bees. Wait, I'm being told all of a sudden underneath

there are snakes and bees that live on the ground. Most bees species live underground. Don't they live in hives? No, no, no. That's only honey bees. Wait, what? Bees live in holes in the ground? Most bees are solitary. When they what? Yeah bees live in holes in the ground. Bees are solitary and they can eat carpets of bees live in wood and you get leaps. That's why you can buy these bricks in like museums a bee brick and then bees will make, it's a brick basically, a concrete brick. They've got a lot of little holes you put it on your wind-eye seal and they live in there. Like big bumblebees they they're like solitary creatures. They have smooth newts which is a kind of hard thing to say smooth newts but there's the viaduct we're

on. Yeah we haven't actually visited that but we did it on both our previous visits. Right we need to go in that direction we're going in the wrong direction it's basically that way. Right we'll see you in a bit when we get there. See you in a bit lover. Right okay we've had to come up to a place where there's a gate and it's locked so we're having to climb over. So Eli will you take my bag and chip? You want to hold the mic? No you're holding the fucking mic I'm not doing this one-handed. I'm sure it's fine but I'm not risking it. I jumped down but it is a bit... Hold that, just don't rustle it around too much. You can use my hand if you want.

To steady yourself when you get on top. Just be careful you don't impale yourself. It's fine, I'm going to climb up to the highest part aren't I? Alright. Alright yeah, put it there. Right, I've got it, get out of the way. I'm jumping! Well done. Get it there. Right, I've got it, get out the way. Okay. I'm jumping. Well done. Okay.

We've both made it relatively unharmed over the... Someone's helpfully put a log there because it's obviously something that happens. Not a poo. Right, coats on, jackets back. We've got an upturned log to help people jump a fence because it's stupid we went to a gate which way do we go now though you sure why is it this is sectioned off and the other part isn't why couldn't we get through that gate I don't know it's the labyrinthine gate closing times rules of Lapp of Kenwood yeah we were heading towards the what we thought was the obvious exit and then it turns out no so the point is they have all these gate closing times but they don't tell you what the name of the gate is no

Ilkin Elm Westfield Chubb Highgate Millfield Spagnum Bog what's that even mean? Sphagnum Bog it's a type of where were we? Where were we? Where were we? There was Kenwood House. We're by a wood so it must be one of these ones. Westfield? Elm. I don't know. Let's just keep walking.

Anyway, we've had to add a few... What's like up here? I kind of feel discombobulated, I'll be honest with you. Is this now Heath? Is this now Heath? It's all the Heath. No, no, but that was Kenwood property. Is this the Heath? We're back into the Heath property. Yes, so to speak. Yeah. So we shouldn't have to worry about any more closed off gates. We should not. The only bit that they lock is Kenwood. Oh mate, was there a gate there? Oh, there's a fucking gate right here. How did we not see that? I know we wouldn't have seen that because that's on the inside of that other fenced off property.

So we wouldn't have. No, because it makes no odds that's but we just want to get to the road that we tried to cross originally we're going back the way we came we went the long way around to try and find an exit but at least I got to jump a log that's exciting in it a little bit it's bit fun in it bit danger yeah what's that noise someone playing bagpipes yes well done Eli I don't fucking slap myself on the back for hearing something I was only asking a question. I want a slap on the back for

every time I'm correct. I'll give you more than a slap on the back. Oh I guess we go left here then now that we're on to the heath proper. Why are they bagpipes? You just acknowledge they are bagpipes? No they're not. No they're not. What are they? The glissinda. The glissinda? The glissinda. I never heard that instrument. It's a... Like a bagpipe yeah? No it's a bunch of cocks in a row that are greased up. As in chickens? Penises. Oh dear. And you milk them. Oh dear. Yep that's where we're going with this idea no is it you know what I need to re-navigate the app yeah I think that's what I need to do and we're heading to the road now Mr. fucking know it all mr. fucking clever clogs

mr. fucking clever clogs know it all innit. Right, what was it one? Upper wheeled piglet, whatever the fuck it was called. Right, navigate. Okay, it is, yeah, over the road. Okay. Was I? Totally right there? Mate. Slap on the back please. It's so strange how you're desperate for fucking recognition and awards and love it's like me I'm the one who wants to go for the bloody awards I'm just saying you're the one who made a video yeah it's called engaging with our public

to capitalise on the small rewards we ever get on this podcast well then why so good yeah it's what I do because you can't be arsed to engage. Oh, I like these little street lamps. Are we going up that way? Fuck it. Oh, there's a big gate there. Maybe.

Oh, in there, yeah, maybe. I'm going to say morally we ticked that one off we made the effort okay so we're gonna cross this road yeah we're gonna cross this main road and head into the Heath Sandy Heath segment we're about 0.3 miles away though I think we added a fucking mile to us just with that walk yeah the pond on the top that you know the pond that's right high up. Yeah we had the donkey rides. Yeah. I've heard the fucking stories mate. Oh. Oh. Where are we gonna cross here? There's a little space there, should we try that? All right we're gonna try

cross the road. And we'll come back to you in a bit. I don't need to record all this I'm fucking knackered. Knackered, Gannet. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay, we have passed the sandy, through the sandy heath, right through it and now this is, it's another part of the heath, the west heath, I can't remember but that was definitely

the sandy I'm sure. Oh no, this is the extension, this is the road that goes at the top of the extension. So this is the extension now. Right so we are fucking cool. 342 feet away and it's up this way. This is where Virgil's childhood home was. Hampstead Way the name of this road is. Okay. Yeah. So somewhere on this corner as this road separates the heaths entwined. So when we came down the Doris Brook that was on the far end of this, we were at the other end if you see what I mean. I think we're going to end there again today. Yeah and this is where it joins the heath.

So this is the extension that's where the heath went to and this would have just been countryside I guess that eventually became part of the heaths jurisdiction. And there's been a paint splash and a tire incident. I can't believe it's so close to Virgil's old home. So it's just gonna be around this corner somewhere. I want to take this path around there because I get the pressure it's gonna be on that side of the corner. Yeah you know what I mean you've got feeling. And the next one's not too far away. This is the corner. Hampson Heath, no barbecues, keep dogs under proper control, clean up after your dog, no cycling, fine. They've got their own police officers. They must have.

Yeah. Is it said ding ding yet? No, it's getting there, 40 feet 37. There we go, right. So I haven't found it. You have? No I haven't. But I'm going to go. It's right there ahead of us according to the map isn't it? It's just up here. Details. A micro cache situated by the top field of Hampstead Heath Extension. The Heath Extension still retains the former field pattern of the original wilds farm. The cache is positioned on the edge of the southernmost field the delightfully named upper wheeled piggy for a record for the record a pig it piglet what do you say it's called I think it's Pite okay I think it's a silent GH you know like that yeah okay

it's defined as a small field or enclosure I want to get the pronunciation but I would say like Pift or Pite I think pite sounds right well let's see we can put it into but now what we don't see I should we need to find how do you get it in Google Lin oh yeah Linden belly button what does that mean Linden belly button maybe a naval something naval like a boat is there a boat what's Lin well no it's not here it's saying it's behind us on this corner somewhere so that's why I'm guessing okay let me let me tap on it again hint But I mean it doesn't say if it's in a tree. Is it in that? Navigate to hint description. I don't know. There's a little bit of metal. Don't just be careful

on it. Description. Micro-cache situated situated at the top of the Hampton Heath Extension, that's all it says. But it doesn't say like if there's any pictures, there's no photos of it. Trackables, geocache, there are no trackables for this one. Waypoint, what does that waypoint mean? Posted coordinates, 64 feet. It does say you can use, no it's saying 60 feet in this direction, 56, 52, 58, 54, 50, it has. 39, right.

28, 24, 20, 17, 15, 14, 17, 20. So it's like here-ish or somewhere here. Maybe I need to go around here. It's like at the other end of the top of the field. Hang on. This is kind of, this is the frustrating part I think, but again, I'm kind of think we're putting on new stress on us because we've got, you know, we're on, we're doing a podcast. We're trying to keep things flowing.

37, 40. I am coming up here. We're walking into like a kind of overgrown area. It's saying 40, 36, 22, 32, 29, 27. Ow! Nettles! 28. Hints. Linton Belly Button. I have no idea what that means. Is Linden a flower or something?

Ow Mate stop breaking wind. It's grizzly logs Has anyone found it? Oh hang on has anyone found it? I'm looking at pictures. There's a big tree someone's hugging. I think it's this tree, because it looks like it. Come here and you tell me if this tree looks like it. I checked it. I know, but look, here's a kid hugging that tree, which they say is the location, right?

And in that corner, sorry for the microphone banging. Right, if we just zoom in, you've got that little... Yeah, that's right. Going over there, right? And then if we go into that corner... It's that tree. It into that corner, you've got that branch that's coming out of the top there. Yeah, you're well identified. So it must be this tree.

I've had a good look. I know. I tried to reach up, you're taller, have a good look in there. I can't see shit. No, nothing in there. It's meant to be like a little bottle, it wouldn't fit in. Remember it's got that green cap. That would fit in there.

You know what I mean? It's like this is definitely the truth in the picture that's for sure but did they give it any more detail? No, they're just the bloody here's my daughter hugging a tree. I mean I looked at the logs and it was replaced in 2023. Oh that's a good question actually I'll have a look when it's last checked. We've been searching by the way for this for like 15 minutes now. 24 October is the last log for this. And this person who took a picture of it with half of it's obscure by fucking god knows what.

But it looks like it's... It ain't me. Oh mate, I'm agreeing with you. I can't see it Because like here's a picture that's barely buttonhole that thing that hasn't got anything in it so it must have gone It's all I'm saying. It was look. That's what it looks like. Yeah, but can you see it? Maybe it's gone. That looks just like this hole here maybe it's gone that looks just like that that looks exactly like that doesn't it?

that's the belly button and we've done our best here that is, it must have been taken I'm going to just shine my flashlight down it that's where it was sitting before. Yeah maybe it's gone. It has.

This is our first failure. Well it's not our failure, it's the failure of the system mate. We've not really found it though. I think that's it. That's definitely the same hole that's in that photo. So it's not in there mate. So what I suggest right. Well I'm happy that we found it.

You know what I mean? I'm happy that we've done our due diligence here. Of course, but we can't leave, it's the problem is, we can't do any of the fun stuff, can we? Errr, I'm going to put a message saying, couldn't find it. Couldn't find it. Presumed... No, that's pressure. Presumed missing. Is this what happens with them? What's the procedure? I don't know. Do they get stolen? I mean I'm logging it. The guy said it was wet didn't they? Maybe they just gave up on it because it just turned into a wet, soggy,

wet you know. Well we have one more to find before you retire. That's what I was trying to say. Let's put this behind us and see if we can find one more geocache. Well there's one right here. It's just there. Right so let's go. What's it called? Seven Sisters Pond innit? Seven Sisters Pond. Logging it in. Oh difficulty two. Hint. Magnetic. We haven't had a magnetic one yet. And then description. A micro caching situated, am I recording? Yes. Situated by the Seven Sisters Ponds on Hampstead Heath extension. The Seven Sisters ponds are a series of manmade ponds situated on the Hampstead Heath.

We're just repeating it. This mic was actually just close by. All right, well that doesn't really help at all. No, it's this way. Put navigate on. Navigate. Less than a point mile away. You breath that smell of fish.

Are you having some kind of reaction? No, it's the fucking cider. So it's straight ahead. Right well a moral victory if not a complete victory I think you'll find. We're some of the most thorough geocache searchers I've ever seen. Diligent. Yes. Diligent and passionate. Yes. But that was definitely the tree I am I would say 98% the tree from the photograph but the point is there might be some discrepancy between yes yes I totally agree I'm 99% that that was the tree depicted in the photographs and in fact the hole and it looked like a belly button you know I mean all of this naval length and it was naval length yeah so we're gonna move on to the next one which shouldn't be that far away.

It's over here. Yeah. How far is it saying on the map already? The heat extension is great. Yeah, it's not that far away. I'm going to take a quick break, we'll be back in a bit. I think it's just this way. There's some Seven Sisters ponds and a little bridge.

Little bridge. Yeah. I did not know there were any ponds and a little bridge. A little bridge, yeah. I did not know there were any ponds on the Heath extension. Oh there you go, I guess. We used to play Arabic much further north. Yeah, on the flats. Yeah. Crossing the little bridge.

This is very nice. Oh it's 150 feet away. I guess we'll go follow around the pool and see where we go. 137, 134. Magnetic is the code. Maybe it's like a magnet, it's like stuck with a magnet on a fence or something. Yeah, maybe. 80 feet. A metal tin box would be used. Yeah, maybe. 80 feet.

I can't see them, man. I can't see them. They're under the floors! Bleep, bleep, bleep. 39 feet. All that was in the latest Wallet and Comet movie. Yeah. Oh dear. Right, it says we found it, but obviously we haven't. Not yet anyway. Here's a fence. 15 feet, hang on let me go walk a little bit further. 15. What? Oh what, have you found something? Oh where'd you find it? It was un-magnetically stuck onto that. Hey! Is that it? Yeah, it's official geocache. Right! I'm gonna find that. Did you see that?

Little Eli little, yeah? Can I get that on the back please? Don't. This is a nice one. The more you say that, the less often I'm gonna actually do it for real with feeling. It's a tiny little box this. Oh it says you've collected a treasure from Seven Sisters Ponds, Hampstead Heath. GPS receiver, a global positioning... Oh it's like a kind of achievement on a video game, it's like that. Because we've found so many today. Cool. It says go to treasures. Look at how tiny this is, in a tiny plastic bag. Tiny little baggie. We should add our own paper and it has the...

all it has no gift I mean it's very small one. Oh look I've got a little GPS tracker on my fake virtual shelf now because we found so many in one day. I guess that inspires you to want to do it. We don't need to read this do we we just need to add our own. Yeah so yeah we can't really put anything in that either really. I don't think there's anything small enough. I think it's just for logging. Yeah, all right so this is our fifth logging situation. Final one of the day. Yeah. Oh yeah it's our last one. Yeah. Oh I kind of feel sad. I was enjoying doing this. We only had the one failure but we think... It's not, I don't think that's on us. I honestly don't think that's on us. Cool. What time is it? I'm gonna put the time as well. It is 1903.

Like there's a few, see there's a few up here as well like in the urban areas. That's cool. And then there's one that just says upgrade to see what this one is. And this one's right on the edge of the, you know where that passageway is that leads onto the Heath?

The Heath extension. Yeah, there's one right there apparently. We could try and cheat it as a cheaty one at the end just for a laugh no because that's way out of our way but is it Golders Green oh in that case let's just sit on the Golders Green finish our picnic off no we're not sitting on the Golders Green sitting on the Golders Green I'm city extension which no they're two different places okay you pissed me off when you correct me so I just go purposely into being

more incorrect to wind you up yeah look at me like that all you like. Finish off writing would you? I have do you think? So we're sitting on the Hampstead Heath extension by the way. Then we'll be walking to Golders Green Chute where I can get me bus home. All right. Oh mate I've enjoyed today I've enjoyed doing all of this. There's a certain amount of reward when you find it right and you go oh blimey I can't believe it. I spotted it stuck magnetically there yeah what is it what is it connected to just like that piece of metal at the bottom of this oh okay

what if those two people are geocaching and they're waiting for us to move if it is we've spilled it for them or they're drugies and they're gonna turn us over you are a druggy know that you are you are a druggy. You are a druggy. Yeah. Yeah. And you're a worse druggy than me, aren't you? So what? So I'm just saying don't...

Well, and then you're like, ooh, druggies. I don't know anything about that. I don't know anything about it. I don't know what you mean. What I'm telling you is that I don't like your toad. Ooh. Little white powder truffling hog. Yeah?

You put yourself in danger to get what you need and that's the difference between us Yeah, you see, you're such a dick. That's the difference between us. Oh You wait till I get drunk. You're drunk already. I'm not actually. You can smell it on your breath Do you know why I don't think I'm drunk yet? Because I'm not feeling tired or dizzy or floaty I think it's because we've been exerting quite a lot of walking time between drinks So when we get settled on the Heath, I'm finishing off what we've got and I'm going home tipsy. Well we've got to try the Kraken as well. Yeah the least the Kraken mate. The Kraken went off. Here's the lid and I want to take a picture of this. I think you are slightly, you're getting more aggressive than normal.

They haven't given this a name. Hidden by doesn't say that either. Contact GC info. It's the river, it's the Seven Sisters, it really isn't run for anything else apart from this little placky bag. Right, we'll place it where you got it then. He's putting it back on the fence. And now we're off to settle on the heath. So come back in a little while and we'll have settled and we'll finish off our little picnic

and basically finish off this week's episode as well while we're at it and we can ruminate on what's happened during the day. See you in a bit everyone. Oh Eli's just off. You've even got your coat tucked in weird. Around the back it's all like tucked in wrong. Your jacket thing. It's all weirdly tucked in well maybe that's fixed it just saying don't show me up in public The sun has just dipped below the horizon for us. We're on the extension, we've sat on a bench outside of a Fun Day bus where apparently people call it the Superman house. Well no, the boss is in front of the house, but the house has sculptures of Superman, Batman and Spider-Man. Arguably the three most recognizable superheroes in existence.

I would argue that. I'd go to a fight mat to that. Anyway, so... You'd go to a fight mat to that? Yeah, I'd go to a fight mat for that. I'd go on the fight mat. You've been on the fight mat. You've been on the fight mat? Have you been on the fight mat?

You're so desperate to get this done, aren't you now? You know what it is? It's like right now, because we've sat down and we know we're no more geocaching, my brain is going, oh you don't need any more of that energy anymore, you can just chill. I'll just try and make it clearer, I'm not having a go at you Paul. We're here on the Hampstead Heath extension still that's where we found the last of our geocaches which was a magnetic one if we were going to have a competition who spotted the most it would be me who wins so yeah you know what it's about though it's not about

spotting it first it's about the fact that together as a team we found it because I had my hands with the thing and the camera and this thing fair enough fair enough no you can just stop after as a team. You can stop after as a team. I could. So you don't have to do this self-test. Now I'm gonna make it all about me. Yeah, don't. I solved it all. I made it all happen. Look, all I'm trying to fucking say is there's a fun day bus which is like a minibus, but the house behind it has has Superman, Batman and Spider-Man on it, but no Super-Gram, but we had two theories didn't we? You came with two theories, you said oh are they having a party there? You thought they must be having

a party there because the bus has turned up and it's some kind of birthday party where they put up sculptures. Or is it the owner of the Fun Day Bus Company who lives in that house and has put up fun things to sort of promote their business? I think it's the latter. It's probably, it's definitely the latter because I wouldn't want that shit on my roof unless I was committed to the bit. That's well committed to the bit aren't they? This is where Richard and Judy Madeley used to live. Yeah but we don't know, we haven't seen them. We could play knock around ginger on the door and run away.

Well then we wouldn't know because we'd run away. Oh yeah good point. In that case let's just knock on doors and wait to see who opens them. We know because there's a man sitting in a security car just there, he's actually watching us. Is he? Yeah. That was he bastard.

So I go up to him and say what are you looking at? Hey, what are you looking at? It's behind those ducks that were walking away. Spy ducks, like drone ducks, malar drones. Which was your favourite cach of the day Paul? Yeah I'm going to be honest, I quite like the first one where the log had to reach into. That was quite committed, I liked the ninja one just because I spotted it and it was so apparent. Yeah yeah. It was a shame number four led us down. Number four was missing everybody. Especially if

we'd committed to saying that was our last one. Yeah and that's why we really had to go for the last one. I'm glad we did, that was a nice little final. Perhaps were the easiest to find. Just on the spot, magnetic, just looked at a fence. You predicted it would be on a metal bit of a fence. Do you know where it was Paul? On a metal bit of a fence. So let's wrap up with a few more picnic items. So I've been drinking my Katy and Perry which you know that reference is fucking dating as balls now. Oh it's as in Katy Perry.

Who was she? Oh yeah no they do. She's married to that bloke. No I don't think she is at all right now is she? No she's married to Pirates of the Caribbean guy. Johnny Depp? No the other one who can't act who's been in all everything in the Lord of the Rings. Bloom. Bloom Bloom. Orlando Bloom. Bloom

Bloom. Orlando Bloom. Bloom Bloom. Orlando Bloom. It's Orlando Bloom. Melanchol Bloom. Oh oh. Orlando Bloom. Chase that guy out with the broom. It's Orlando, Orlando, and the broom. I've got a dog and it eats my fart. He comes around and he does it. Dr. Boris Hovelleton or whatever his name is. Major Boris Huntington. Lord Huntington Major Boris. The farts scoffer. Right so all right you want to try these. Are you going to say anything about the pit those all three of those ciders were given to us by the Pints of Cthulhu podcast thank you guys. I did not care for any of them but I've drank quite a lot in

the preceding week and maybe I've just haven't got my drinking head on maybe I want you've been down in them yeah and you're gonna do some more booze right now aren't you well I'm gonna do me cracking in a minute but I want to get these Japanese candies out the way okay you are in charge of what we eat now let's go for this double tongue fella he looks like I said before like Pac-man has taken some uppers because his eyes are all starry has a wizard's hat on and has two tongues coming out of his mouth. Japanese it is all of this is a category of Japanese cheap snack which we've

done before and had the katsu that katsu thing remember. Do you want me to translate it or bollocks? It's just gonna say two tongue Johnny, taste is two tongues or something like that. One tongue is licor, one tongue is strawberry. Can you tell the difference? Something like that I am predicting. You have just done an image search, you have not translated. It says it is, there is a picture of it. That is exactly the same yes.

Gum bottles, 20 tablets. That is what it says. Well done Paul, you have really elucidated. Two gum bottles, 20 tablets from Japan Bundle OK. Smell that coming off it. What does that smell like? Coca Cola bottle gummies. Maybe it is that then.

That is a very strong smell of cola bottle coming off it. There is a little tray inside and there is two tongue shaped things on the tray. What do you want the dark one or let's have both. It is bubble gum again isn't it? It is all bubble gum. Is it bubble gum? I mean I do want to taste it but I just don both of its bubble gum again, isn't it? Oh, it's all bubble gum Is it bubble gum? I mean, I do want to taste it But I just don't want more bubble gum in my mouth for no reason. I'm not gonna move for more gummy Save it if you keep it if you want it. I'm not gonna try any gum

Let's try the withered prunes or whatever. They're called. I don't know what they are. What do you think they are? I think they're what's known as umeboshi. What's that? It's sour dried plum. They're very tiny aren't they? They're big there. They're big in Japan. No they're quite tiny in that bag. They're salty. All right so watch out for this. Okay like a licorice salty kind of thing. Like salty salty. Norwegian licorice. Smell it. It smells like dried fruit right? Yeah it does smell like dried fruit. It's what it is. Have a nibble of one of those. It's quite tough. Oh, watch out there's a pip in it.

It's mostly pip. Yeah it's all dried around it. That's sweet though. It's very sweet. And salty sort of. Yeah I don't like that. It's like fermented. Yeah I don't like that. Nibble around the pip. Nibble all the remnants of the flesh off it off a pit well it's going over my

shoulder didn't like it no I didn't like that it's too salty I like it I like it it's all too much mmm there's something to them nice about that I think this is oh I like that that's good okay what's this one I had some of that the tongue stuff as well and I swallowed it. This is the same character from the other plum things, so perhaps it's a whole range of salted and preserved plum things. Look, it's the same brand isn't it? I've got to stop opening the wrong fucking app.

Large grain juicy honey ume candies, a popular sweet sour plum snack. Umeboshi, yeah, sour plum. Wow. So it's like a gummy thing. Oh look at this one this is it's a real one you have to bite this no I don't want to you have to bite it you have to nibble you have to do a little nibble what is it oh no I don't like it what is this it's a plum it's a salted plum it looks like like wet toffee it's a salted salted plum you taste a little bit of that. I don't like that. Why what does it taste like? Like little salted blob. I don't like that. Oh it's very moist isn't it and juicy and salty unless it's less sweet than the other one that's dried but this is just moist-o.

Ah! I have to admit, I don't care for that either. It's fruit in the grass. It's fine, it's all fruit. Ah! No, that's... I like the other one because it's more... So then what's this?

Oh, people like that. Oh, it's really salty and weird, isn't it? Right, what's this one then? Let me scan this as well. This looks like a little cookie, Mon. This is our third one. Like a little cookie with a smile. Thank God keep it still there we go. Purple package. Right it's generating by Google this shows a picture of the er it's a cookie a popular Japanese treat cookie cocoa with chocolate

chip oh I can do all that. It's all in pieces. Oh it's all in pieces. Have a little of this fragment. Yeah it's like a little soft kind of cookie. Chocolate chip cookie. Yeah. It's alright. Very nice. Nice. Oh I needed that after that fucking bite. I'm just going to finish these crumbs off if you don't mind. No go for it have all the crumbs. Listen I'm I am going to try this. Look how many fucking planes there are. One two three four one two oh god one two three four five six seven. Crazy isn't it. Where they all go in e-throw. Well they all go in different fucking places look those two go in the same direction. Yeah. Yeah wow there's loads of them. Loads of them. One two three 5, 6, 7. So here's what I propose we end with. We get out this, the most sour soda drink in the world, Blue Razz.

And use that to quell the heat of our hottest gummies. So the most sour drink after the most hot. I'm going to do it. Because I don't like letting my audience down. And you often comment. You didn't taste the bacon slice. Did you Paul? So no one's gonna care other than that Stang the world's most sour soda. I know but stang that's what I said. I said stang I read this word stang. Yeah, but the word stang. Why are you so fucking excited about the according to the sour general? This beverage may cause extreme pucker

I'm fucking excited about the words. According to the sour general this beverage may cause extreme pucker. Which could lead to inside out face syndrome. Oh witty witty. I bet it's not that much. I wish I hadn't put that fob key thing in one of the geocaches because that could have opened this bottle. I can do it with a lighter don't worry. You're going to pour it into that cup and share it because I'm going to try the gummy

and then wash it down with that. So prepare thine loins mr. Silverman. The gummy is 9 million Scovilles. I'm only gonna have a little bit I'm not popping the whole fucking thing in my mouth I think a small bite of this will be sufficient to prove its points yes yeah but you might even get trouble with that that's what I'm thinking. Oh the little nitro channel we want you to make the best little nitro videos on the internet Post your video to YouTube with the hashtag little nitro challenge for a chance to be featured on our website Oh look it comes in a sealed container

It's because you can get it on your fingers. It's no joke. Yeah touch it with your fingers I'm gonna put my tripod down. So apologies for sound quality over the next few minutes. Right. OK. Put this down here. You have to taste the Kraken, mate. I'm going to taste the Kraken. But what I'm going to do right now is I'm going to open this up. How are you going to touch it with your fingers?

It's very firm. Oh, do you think I shouldn't have touched it with my fingers? Because your fingers will burn and your eyes will burn when you touch your eyes. Yeah, that's like with chilli. That's fine. But this is a gummy.'s like in the it's more of a syrup thing. No it's citric throughout it says there's a warning on the back. Oh mate it smells of like fire. I'm not getting anything. You can't smell that kind of weird. No. Like herbally. Alright. Take an ear. I'm gonna bite an ear off a

tiny little ear. I'm going to bite an ear off, a tiny little ear. Yeah, go for it. Tiny little bit. Chew. Is it really hard? Yeah, it's a really tough gummy. Oh. Oh. Mate. Are you in trouble?

No, but oh, it's hot. It is like that one chip chip. I'm not messing with that. Put it back in there I'm not messing with it. Go on have a little bite of the ear. It's not that bad honestly you've had chilies and chutneys hotter than this if you have a little bite in the corner of the ear. You can spit it into the grass. Put it in there I'm not holding it with my hands. I don't think you need to worry about touching it. You say that now, when you put your hand in your eye or on your helmet later. Well I won't touch my helmet later then.

You're not having that much trouble now it's gone down. No, I mean it's hot, yeah, but if you have a little bite. Look, if you put the whole of that in your mouth and chewed, it'll be miserable. Really, really, really miserable. But I don't think it's going to get like that. I've taken oh wow that's that's incredibly hot yeah I've taken a tiny bit tiny bit but you couldn't put the whole one in your mouth. No that would do you it. Whoa yeah that's extract yeah it's like the chemical of but that's why I'm saying I don't think touching it in itself is

gonna be a problem no it will be it's it warns wow that of... But that's why I'm saying I don't think touching it in itself is going to be a problem. No, it will be. It warns... Wow, that's so hot. Stick it back in there. That's so hot. Yeah. I'm going to spit it out. No, spit it in the grass. I am going to spit it in the grass. Yeah, and then just put the rest in there. That's what I mean, I'm going to spit it in the grass. Yeah. Burning my flipping mouth off.

That is the hottest candy in the world, but like... Jeez. But what fucking barometer is that? Who cares? Wow. Oh, I had it in my... Yeah. it still doing it? Still burning your mouth? It's like tingling around my mouth. That is crazy. Now try this world's sour. And now I'm going on to the most sourest drink.

I've dropped my own me boshie. My tongue is burning. I mean that's sour but it's not awful. Oh god my tongue is burning off. Oh I've got a lot of saliva building up right now. Have a bit of that it's not too bad. No you couldn't do the whole one. You couldn't do it. You'd give you a heart attack or something. Imagine putting the whole thing in your mouth. My tongue is actually really hurting. But I've had chilies worse than this. I don't know.

In comparison to the how much I've put in my mouth to the actual spot on my tongue where I had it. It's intensely hot there. Do you know what I mean? Have a bit of that. It's sour. Bear that in mind. But it's not unpleasant. That's a little bit sour, but it's refreshing.

It's similar to those warhead sours. It is more sour than that. My lips are burning. It's similar to those warhead sours. Yeah. It is more sour than that. A little bit. My lips are burning. The soft part of my lips are genuinely on fire right now, as if I've been punched in the face. It really hurts. I think I might have done some serious...

What damage to your mouth? I'm just going to actually just hold cold liquid on my tongue because that was better. Yeah, I think that's going to be necessary. By all means go for it. And now Paul has some cracking. To end this day of geocaching, wandering, fine weather. I really wish I hadn't done that. I'm glad you did.

Because now you can feel what I was going through which is abject tongue pain. Right, and now I'm just going to end with a little bottle of cracking. I'm just going to have a little sample of that. This is disgusting this sour bullshit. It's very sour. Taste it again. I had a big mouthful of it. Taste it now that the heat's gone down a bit.

You know it's a sour drink but it's not that sour. I don't think it's pleasant, I don't think anyone would want to drink that on a refreshing cold day. You know what I mean, on a refreshing hot day rather. Refreshing cold day is a stupid idea. Why is a hot day refreshing? It's not, it's the opposite. I've just fucked this. You've got a proper fucking nonsense mouth. Right, I'm gonna finish me Katy Perry off.

Try some of that Kraken. I'm gonna do it now. Release the Kraken, Paul says to end the show. Here we go. Little glass bottle of the Kraken. I'm having that on me bush. It's like a little jug. God, this smells like a swimming pool.

I know what you mean, yeah. It's the a little jug. God, this smells like a swimming pool. I know what you mean, yeah. It's the ethanol. Right, well here we go. Chin chin. Here's to Cheap Show. 10 years. Geocache. Oh yeah.

Did I say this already? 13th of June. Put it in your diary. We're going live. Cheap Show turns 10 years old on the 13th of June. Friday the 13th of June. And we're going to be doing a live stream on YouTube with as many friends as we can gather in one place for just some live streaming fun. So put it in your diary, we're going to be

celebrating 10 years old and also if you're a Patreon you can get hold of early tickets to our live show in October at the Cheerful Leafer Podcast Festival and we can announce we've been nominated for two Comedy Awards at the Golden Lobes Podcast Festival. Are they comedy awards? It's a comedy podcast festival, I think. Is it? I don't know. We've been nominated for two awards at the Golden Lobes. Yeah, it's a podcast, not a comedy podcast. Anyway, we probably won't win, but it's nice to be nominated

and we are gonna turn up and represent Jeep Show because we've been nominated for Best Earworms. If we win that, that means Oislinn gets it. And then Showing Not a Grower, which is about audiences and how we get on with them and this, that and the other. It's a whole thing. But if we win that one, we have to give that award to the audience, because frankly, we wouldn't be here and be able to do all of this without them.

Frankly, Eli, 10 years, we couldn't have done this for 10 years without the support of our Patreon backers. So if you want to go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show and donate what you can and get access to podcasts and videos and behind the scenes things and magazines and all sorts of goodies going back, I don't know, seven years now. Patreon? No, but with Patrons only been going seven. Okay.

Something like that. You can go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show. Everything else thecheapshow.co.uk. Four links to everything else Cheap Show flavored and that's it release the Kraken here we go see how I did that I did a bit of admin and now we're back into the thing. Do you want a pat on the back for that? I want a pat on the back for that oh Dr. Huntington oh no what's his name Professor Wolfdog man. He's called Morris John he's called Boris Major and he is Lord, he is Sir Lord Huntington of Scotland.

Lord Huntington, get from my crotch, my perineum is not stained by my arse gravy as of yet. Here we go. Oh, that's alright actually that. Yeah, is it vanilla forward? It's got vanilla forward notes. Do you want to have a bit? No, no. Oh, no, don't put it in there.

I've put some in the sour drink. I hate you for that. Let's see what it tastes like. You didn't put enough in to taste. Put the whole bottle in. I'm only doing this because I've got a second one. Give it a little mix. Give it a little mix.

Not the bad little mix. I bet you this is gonna be the most disgusting thing I could possibly drink right now. It might be okay, because there's definitely gonna be sweetness added from the... So one part Kraken, one part sour, stang. Kraken stang. What can we call this drink? A monster stang.

Oh, we can call it the Krang. Krang. The Krang. Why are we so fucking good? Why are you and me so fucking good and no one understands our genius? Oh, now I'm getting included. It's true though. Why are we so fucking good and no one understands our genius? I get included when I want it. It's true though why are we so fucking good and no one understands our genius? Well the podcast people do don't they? They're cheerful airful. Bless them.

Anyway here we go I'm downing it I'm not gonna down it I'm just gonna drink it. See what it tastes like. That's just more raspberry. I can only really taste the raspberry in it. You're not really getting any of the cracking. No. You won't even taste it. I don't want to taste it though. What do we do now then? We just sign off, that's it. Do we? Yeah. All the tastings done, all the geocachings done. All the geocachings done. as well so we need to wend our way to the nearby Goulders Green where you will be getting a KFC and then a bus home and I will be getting a bus home No I'm not getting a KFC. Why not? I don't fancy it. I had a Philly cheese stack from McDonald's last night and a large fries and six nuggets and mozzarella sticks.

Before you came here today? No, last night. Oh. When I got back from Bristol. Well, what a day it's been. That's a big order. No it is. I didn't get a drink.

It's a lot of muck. But good muck because you know me and you, we're big philly sack people. They don't even have that in the States. I went to America. Yeah, I know. I went to McDonald's one time. Yeah. Just to see what it was like, sort of.

The chips were better, but the burger was worse. And ain't that the way it's going to be? I got a quarter pound of deluxe, if anyone's asked. What's a quarter pound of deluxe? It's added mayo. It's like got a cotton knob over it. It's got added mayo and tomato. You said deluxe.

Durex, you're thinking of. Oh, I got it wrong. But don't have another whitey. Now Paul, Paul did a fart there, no one heard it. You asked what a Dulux quarter pound of cheese Dulux is, it's mayo which I think works quite well. Okay yeah. Added plus onion, lettuce and tomato. The tomatoes are no go for me. Right so this is the end of this week's episode. Episode whatever number it is. I think it's 431. I enjoyed today. I want to run. You're going to get out of breath mate. I'm running because remember we're having a sports day where I'm going to ratio.

I'm going to ratio 100 meters. Do you want to do a little test now? you want to do a little test now? Come on do you want to do, oh fuck that next time. Do you want to do a 100, do you want to race now? Come on why not? Race now from there to there or something. I'm not doing it now. Why not? I want to see you just as a proof of concept. Proof of concept. Run back from here to that goal post and back as fast as you can okay. Don't have a fucking heart attack. He's gonna say... I'm gonna put 100 percents in, because obviously, you know, but I'm gonna go full... Don't hurt yourself, but...

Where's my phone? Well, you really want to do this? I'll keep an eye on all of this stuff. Okay, your phone's okay? I wouldn't... Kiss me, Bindle. Come on now, because we have to tidy up this bench, mate. I'm gonna do it, ready?

Go! He's flailing. He's got to the, he's round there. He did put in a burst of speed at the start. I'm looking for another sprint here. It's actually, he's going. He's going and he's back. Nice one.

Nice one. Yeah. How are you feeling? I can't fucking hell. He's very out of breath though. I think he probably did about 50 metres total there. So that again. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Cool.

I'm feeling confident. Fucking hell. Right. On that note, we'll see you next week on Cheap Show. See you everyone. See you all together. Bye. Bye. Bye.