CheapShow - Ep 433: CheapShow TV 2025 (Part Two)

Starting point is 00:00:00 So we have a lot of items to cover and I'm grouping them into two main categories. I've got food items, I'll be reviewing these food items and then also over here we have drinks. And now I'm going to do some reviews of the drinks and I thought about doing a food then a drink then a food and back and forth like that but thought, John, don't over complicate this. This is your first food review and drink show. So I will do a food, then another food, until all the foods are done before moving on to the drinks.

Starting point is 00:00:38 So- John! What? John! What are you doing? I'm making a television program, John. What do you mean you're making a television program? I told you all about this. No you didn't!

Starting point is 00:00:47 I'm in bed with sores! I'm sorry that you've got sores and I'll be going to get you ointment and just... Where's my ointment? How do you think we're going to pay for ointment if I don't get some kind of vocation? You'll never be a star! I'm not trying to be a star! I simply... I told you...

Starting point is 00:00:55 I told you to be a star! I'm not trying to be a star! I simply... I told you to be a star! I simply... I simply... I simply... I simply...

Starting point is 00:01:03 I simply... I simply... I simply... I simply... I simply... I simply... How do you think we're going to pay for him if I don't get some kind of vocation? You'll never be a star! I'm not trying to be a star! I simply... I told... I told you! I simply want to make... You put that camera away and weep my soul!

Starting point is 00:01:14 I have people here who are being paid for their time, James! You brought strange men into my house! James, you're going across the line! You brought strange men into my house! They are not strange men! I have introduced you! I can't believe it! That's James and that is Robert! This is how you're a get out of my house! Go've got strange men in your house! They are not strange men! I can't believe it! I have introduced you!

Starting point is 00:01:26 That's James and that is Robert! This is out of Europe! Get out my house! Go on, get out! You! Get out my house! Go on! We're making a television program!

Starting point is 00:01:35 Take your camera with you! You take your camera! And you! You better clean my soles! You better mop my soles! Did I ever not clean your soles or got you an ointment or given you a bed bath or wiped your bottom, Jane? You know, fame's changed you!

Starting point is 00:01:50 I'm not famous! I can't even do a fagging review! John Gunty's Food Musing will be back in two weeks' time in order to make way for a live broadcast of the grand finale of the second annual International Dog Dipping Competition 2025. Dopey Dogs and Mucky Knuckles will be the order of the day over at the Bubble Tea Conference Centre in Amersham. And later this evening it's time to catch up with

Starting point is 00:02:25 the ghost-getters. But after the break it's time to play more Game Show Board Games with Paul and Eli in part two of Cheap Show TV. The water in Majorca doesn't taste like what it ought to. No, no, no. The water in Majorca don't taste like what it ought to. The water in Majorca doesn't taste quite how it should. Majorca! Majorca? Majorca!

Starting point is 00:03:01 Majorca! Oi, Dale, any danger there's somebody freshman in here. Here you are. Get your laughing gimme on that. Ooh, golly. The water in Majulka... What's that? Don't taste like what it oughta. Oh, gosh.

Starting point is 00:03:23 Don't taste like Waddeo'ota. Oh gosh. The Walter in Majulka don't taste like Waddeo'ota. She's corrected. She's only corrected. You're absolutely wrong. Heineken refreshes the parts what other beers cannot reach. It is straight. square, curved, circular, the precise shape of every moving part it clings to. Lubricating, cooling, and protecting. Oil is too small a word for it. It is Castrol GTX Liquid Engineering. Put it in your engine.

Starting point is 00:04:11 Oh yes, we'll be touring France this year. The cuisine, the chateau. Oh, there's an outlet like a bit of Gatot. Really, eh? The chateau. You get them in France. France, we get ours from Berkers. Oh, no, no. Fresh cream cakes. Naughty. But nice. There's just time to remind you that tomorrow evening at this time, we'll be premiering

Starting point is 00:04:34 the daring new drama from Grumpy Sessions, Dipstick, Powdery Paint, chronicling this youth under the stern control of his milky mother. It promises to be a shocking and not at all exploitative piece of work. However, right now, it's that cheap show TV thing again. You know, where they play all the board games based on TV gameshow and it's starting to be too noisy and rowdy and can't quite make out what's going on because they're all talking over each other and it's just noise. Anyway, it's time for more Cheap Show TV. Hello, it's Cheap Show TV, part two. I'm Paul Gannon. I'm Eli Silverman. Welcome back to the second part of our Board Game TV Take Part 2 podcast versus each other, Jamboree!

Starting point is 00:05:38 We need more Jamborees. We do need more Jamborees. And this week we're joined by our special guest, Vigo the Chunk. Hello, I'm Vigo the Chunk. What's that again? A mouse or something? A monkey. Oh yeah. Sounds like a dog. You've got feeding bananas. Chunks of banana. Oh, okay, okay, I got it. I get it. Get. I get it. Okay Would you like a bucket of chopped banana? Goes mad for those chunks of banana doesn't he?

Starting point is 00:06:21 People used to think he was the runt of the litter actually He's fucking the book he was the runt of the litter actually. He's fucking the bucket now. He was the runt of the litter, Paul. And they used to think he was an epileptic. But he was just getting extremely... What does that mean? He's an epileptic? They used to think he was a monkey with epilepsy. It's just bananalypsy. You stay out of it.

Starting point is 00:06:37 That's right. Sean is right. Alright, okay. Well, anyway, he's eating the monkey bucket right now. He doesn't speak. he's a real monkey. You spoke! I speak, yes, but I'm not a monkey. You were doing the voice of the monkey and the monkey spoke! So you need to be consistent. Okay.

Starting point is 00:06:53 So, let's say, let's introduce him again and be consistent. Hello, Viggo the monkey. What? What, man? Do you want some chopped banana? Ooh! He does, he does bark. I'm gonna let him out. I'm out of breath. What an acting class. What a moment. Ethan, you should be watching that. I can note. My eyes were glued open. They were.

Starting point is 00:07:27 Eli, you introduced the teams then this week. Oh, I'm out of breath. Being a monkey. Team A from last week, everybody. It's the Sharp and Have A Question or Listen. Please. Sharp and Have A Question. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:07:35 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:07:43 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I question or listen. I didn't know you rebranded. Shut up and answer the question. Yes. It's you yourselves. Yeah. We shut up and answer the question. I'm Sean Anthony. I'm Ethan Lawrence. And yeah, we have a podcast where you you the listeners submit one question

Starting point is 00:08:06 And we take about 45 minutes to answer it going around all the tangents and they need to talk with a bit more I think they need to work Interrupting You feel my pain. You feel my pain. I feel your pain. You get to something and then this cunt, this cunt, for one of the better words, fucking interrupts you! Because he can't take it! Because he can't get a word in edgeways because you're a sentence-snatching little prick! Right? See? Open warfare.

Starting point is 00:08:46 Bob Full Cunt. That's the first game. Bob Full Cunt. Well done, Oscar Wilde, for that fucking amazing little literature. Darling, I never claim to be no wilde, okay? No, you don't, that's the truth. That's very good. Question, so it's a comic podcast about answering questions, yeah? Yes, very much so. A question. And it's a comic podcast about answering questions. Yeah. Yes very much

Starting point is 00:09:05 So a question and it's your listeners who provide the questions or do you ever bring questions to each other? It's always the listeners we can send in a question to us if you want a shut up pod at Yahoo.com That's s h ut up od at Yahoo.com. Can these questions be of a sort of personal agony aunt style questions about my herpes? Yeah, we haven't done that yet because no one's been willing to provide that sort of question. But we take any of them more random the better. I mean, question, let's just say a question about just out of thin air, having real thrush ridden nads on a ski trip and having to like get off the coach by rubbing your cracky cracked nads.

Starting point is 00:09:42 Do you want to switch seats? Is there something about a toffee hammer in there Eli. I see why you don't let Eli do it often. Shut up Sean! I was fucking sitting there, my god that solidarity's gone! The psychic solidarity's gone! It's over! This! Everybody calm down. Eli, introduce Team B, please. Okay, and they were in the Team B role in last week's episode, and they're playing Team B again,

Starting point is 00:10:12 but it doesn't mean they're Team B in our... Fuck my arse, fuck. It doesn't mean it's that they're Team B in our hearts, right, Paul? I don't care. Yes, it's Team B, everybody, the variety show, stroke... Sci-Fi United? I'll take that, I don't care. It's Team B everybody, the variety show stroke Sci-Fi United. I'll take that, I'll take it. Yeah go on, go for it, you take it. Okay take it away Rob. I'm Rob. I'm Tom. And yes we are Sci-Fi United and...

Starting point is 00:10:41 You're just accepting it! Why not? We're looking for a new name Untitled Sci-Fi show Untitled Sci-Fi show and what's your favorite sci-fi? I hate it. You hate it? You're not a sci-fi? We've got so much of it now I hate sci-fi. You do tire, I was much more into it as a younger man. Thank you. You do tire of it because what it is, it's the lack of any emotional characterization in a lot of the work. Oh, that's quite a statement to make, isn't it? Well, it's about ideas.

Starting point is 00:11:13 A lot of it. It's just about the idea. Yes, but the better ones are, but it's a lot of it's just like, oh, I speculate that atom bombs are going to be in cars or something better than that. Atom bombs in cars. Right. Okay. Tom, what's your favorite sci-fi? I it's Star Trek isn't it your Trek I'll go and I'll stick with Star Trek then yeah Star Trek's the place to go I'll

Starting point is 00:11:31 prefer to Star Wars Star Wars is just a load of old bollocks in it oh 100% I don't like it yeah what's your favorite sci-fi mr. Silverman I bet it's something boring and obscure isn't it that no one's heard of? No. Go on what is it? Probably. Oh no you said you liked Dick last week didn't you? I'm all about that Dick. Philip K that is. Probably. Just for people who might not know who Philip K Dick's work is can you tell him can you fill him in on Dick? Dick was uh behind Blade Runner the story from that and... Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep is the actual title of the inspiration so once again you've let yourself down i could have told you that you didn't though is this a dick test

Starting point is 00:12:10 is this a dick measuring contest no i'd say probably total recall or robocop as my favorite film so far oh okay i see what you mean uh can you remember it for the wholesale is what i do like some of that 70s just to correct Eli again for me, you know miss naming Total recall isn't called total recall. It's cool. Can you remember it for the wholesale? Anyway, if you want a fucking Philip K Dick's work quiz outside after this you're all I'm gonna meet the car park for your dick off this week we are continuing our board game game show special we have two board games this week to end on the first we're doing is...

Starting point is 00:13:06 ..Bob's Full House! Yay! So let's get right into it. Let's play Bob's Full House! CHEERING MUSIC PLAYS APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen, the master of the house, Bob Mankhouse! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to... No rim tone this time. It's Bob's Full House time, but we're going to get into the scores before we do that. So what are the scores? Eli Dawes. Thank you very much, Paul Dawes.

Starting point is 00:13:54 You don't know, do you? They both won one. Yeah, which one? Team A won... It was so long ago. It wasn't about an hour tops. What was that first one we played? Cards, right? Yeah. They lost that one. Yeah, they lost. Famously in audio medium pointing to us. Every second counts is the one that Team A won. Yes, indeed. So they are even Stevens. It's even Stevens and there will be four in total. And I hope Paul as master of ceremonies, master of the games, games master. I am indeed.

Starting point is 00:14:29 I got a bit trigger happy. Call back. Yeah, to a 30 year thing. Easter egg. What's the point you're trying to make? It's one all. I'm just saying it's one all. You said that you made a whole deal about this.

Starting point is 00:14:40 Yes. As arbiter of this. I remember this. As arbiter, stroke games games master stroke master of ceremonies I will so stroke head Somalia Have you got a tie break Yes, if at the end of these two games it's 2-2, then we will go to a play a card right game off. So, whoever wins the next one, the team who didn't win it will have a chance to equalise in the last game.

Starting point is 00:15:15 Unless one team runs away with it this week. We just don't know until that happens. Well if someone wins both games we don't need to do a fucking tiebreak, do we? That's what I just fucking said though, isn't it? No it's not! You just said at the end of two games, that's like one of the wins. No Rob, we'll never play the games. We'll never play the games. I just said if one person wins one of these, one team wins the next one, right? Let's say that. Yes, this is how games work. Sean, I just wanted to really think about how Paul criticised you for maybe taking a little too long

Starting point is 00:15:44 to describe the podcast. Think about that and observe. Observe the master in action. I need to take longer. And yell as well, yell a lot. Thank you team 8. Right. Paul, I'm in control here. Are you?

Starting point is 00:15:59 Paul, I'm in control here. It sounds like you're not though, very much so. Paul, give us a little bit of background about the the first game will be playing on this week's episode this week We are playing Bob's full house. It is a BBC Game show featuring the talents of Bob Monkhouse And it's loosely based on the idea of playing bingo although instead of random balls being generated You'll get rid of the numbers on your card by answering questions of various styles. It's like quiz bingo. Yes. Effectively, the first person after a few rounds, the first team rather, to clear all the numbers from their card goes on to the golden card at the end.

Starting point is 00:16:34 And that's where they'll play to see if they can stick to the other team for beans. The better they win, the more beans for the losing team. That doesn't really make sense. None of those last few sentences. Yes, it does. If they, whoever wins. Eats beans? So I come round to you, I say beans please, you flick two

Starting point is 00:16:52 gherkin pellets against the roof of my mouth. Cock, cock. Whatever you're doing right now is your own fucking podcast. Flicking his pickle bean. I'm just saying the final winner's round just just for winners, will determine how many beans the losing team wins.

Starting point is 00:17:09 Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Right, fuck me. Advertise it, break. We want blue stripes, we want white We want the red stripes, but that's alright As you can see, Aquafresh has all three Aquafresh is for the family The red stripe helps fight plaque and protects gums The white stripe has fluoride to fight decay And there's a blue stripe for fresh breath So Aquafresh gives 3-in-1 protection for your family White Stripe has fluoride to fight decay. And there's a Blue Stripe for fresh breath.

Starting point is 00:17:45 So Aqua Fresh gives three-in-one protection for your family. Brush, brush, red stripe, blue stripe, white. Brush, brush, gurgle, gurgle, it's just right. Aqua Fresh has to be the only one with all three. Three-in-one protection for your family. ["The Big Penguin Song"] P-P-P-Penguin, a lovely big penguin, when you pick up a penguin, there's so much more to enjoy.

Starting point is 00:18:11 It's bigger, so delicious, chocolate flavored, through and through. When you feel a little pup-peckish, what's bigger and best for you? A pup-peckish penguin. To pick up a penguin, when you feel a little pupuppet-ish, Puppet-a-Pig-a-Pig-a-Penguin. Suze is too loud, so we found a new voice for the song. Trio! That's cool. Trio!

Starting point is 00:18:37 Oh, crazy! Like a trio, would you like one? Hey, don't mind if I do. Not one, not two, but three things really it. Yeah. A chocolatey biscuit and a toffee taste. So quiet. Let's do the pack shot. Oh, who's eaten the pack shot? Me-o. Me-o. No three things are quite as good together as a trio. It's time to play! Bob's full house! I'm not playing the music again, we're getting straight into it.

Starting point is 00:19:13 So I have given team A and B a bingo card of their own and each card has numbers on. Between now and the end of the questions you hopefully have gotten rid of all 15. The first one to do so wins and goes on to the golden card. Have you got enough light to read this? I do thankfully I do. Yeah, it's a bit weird Isn't it how this is the third game we've done? I mean over the course of the last two weeks No one's done an impression of Bob Monkhouse yet that the other ones we were all over it. Mmm Bob says This is one of the reasons why He's not much of a capsaic guy, is he? Bob says...

Starting point is 00:19:47 No. Also, whilst we're on the subject, how much of a cunt was Monkhouse? I think he was alright. Was he a cunt to work with? I don't know. Most people have a lot of respect for the governor, don't they? They do. He was a big fucking Tory.

Starting point is 00:20:00 He's a big Tory. How much of a cunt was Monkhouse? If he was a big Tory, Tory I got that in the car Thank you for submitting that will answer that next week right the first round is called Corners will be bouncing questions between the two teams the first person to cross their corners off their board win that round Simple as that really when you cross over corner Tell me what number you cross off because that adds to points. So Eli will be taking account of what the scores are over, because there's a possibility. It'll be a draw at the end, so we need to see who has the most points on the bingo card.

Starting point is 00:20:33 Okay, so I just take the number down for each team when it happens. As it goes. And we should say that we took these bingo cards randomly, so we don't know what the totals are. It's all perfectly fair. What happens if we have a blue corner? Whatever closest to the corner it is. Whatever is closest to the corner. There's two though, equally close. We have two blue corners.

Starting point is 00:20:49 We've got two blue corners and there's numbers. The other corners have... Then you would do 16, 51, 8 and 44. They are your corners, all right? Oh I see, yeah. You see what I mean? Yeah, okay, yeah fine fine fine. One's at the end of the row on the top. That one, that one. Okay, so to help me pick questions, whatever number you shout out from your scorecard will be the number of the question or the page that I read it from. So I think, because it was a draw, we're gonna start with Team B this time out

Starting point is 00:21:16 for their first round. So let's get into it. This is the corners round. Pick a corner, give us a number. 16. Oh. What the fuck is going on? Ooh, it's my favorite bit.

Starting point is 00:21:28 Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. In which game can you capture an opponent with the move en passant? Capture?

Starting point is 00:21:43 Yeah. That's the word he'd be trying then. I did say capture. You went capture. Oh, I'm sorry. I genuinely am. Sounds like fencing. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:21:51 Which game? No, capture. In which game can you capture an opponent with the move en passant? You're not gonna capture a person in fencing. We don't capture opponents in any game. In which game can you capture an opponent? Oh, I suppose like drafts or chess, I guess.

Starting point is 00:22:05 Well, pick something. You said drafts. Then you should have picked chess. Chess, chess, chess. No point there for you. We're going on. So the first person to cross their corners off wins the round. So I'm just going to answer questions, ask questions until we get there.

Starting point is 00:22:17 So I'm going to stab you with my sword. What corner square would you like, team A? Can we start with number one? What cargo did the cutty Sark normally carry? Oh, T is correct. You can cross that off how much is that again? I'm just the one just the one so right one down for that team B back to you pick a square It's gonna be a corner number Stick with us, please. hang on, no, sorry, 44. Sorry. 44, okay. Sorry. Team A, stick with us please.

Starting point is 00:22:48 All right, here we go. Ooh. I'm just trying to keep this, you know. Team B, this is a true or false question. Saturday Night Fever is the, according to this book, when it was made in 19 fucking whatever. Bearing this in mind, let's just say this was made in mid-80s.

Starting point is 00:23:01 In the mid-80s, Saturday Night Fever is the world's top-selling EP, true or false? True. Say true for time. It's got to be true. It is correct. You can cross that off. Pre-Thriller. So what was that again? This must have come out before Thriller. That was 44. Yeah, 44. Right, 44 down. Right, go on. 44. We'll go for 10. Ooh. What's your response to that? This is the question for you. Sir Isaac Pittman invented which widely used secretarial aid? What Pittman invention was primarily used as a secretarial aid? Typewriter? Incorrect. It was shorthand.

Starting point is 00:23:38 Shorthand! Shorthand! You know who was very good at that? Jeremy Beale! Hey! Come on! Sorry, rest in peace. Well done. You know who was very good at that? Jeremy B. Hey! Come on. Rest in peace.

Starting point is 00:23:50 Team B. Team B. Eight. How many musicians in a quintet? Five. Yes, is correct. How much is that again? Eight. Team A. We'll keep going for ten, we're

Starting point is 00:24:06 just going to keep shooting for it. Ocmedes is noted for shouting Eureka whilst taking a bath, but what does Eureka mean? I found it. Is correct. Cross that off. Well done. I can't meet the knowledge over there. Team B. I'm useful in a pub quiz situation. That's horrible history. I'm worried now. Team B They give us a corner number 51 51 Right WNG foil of London is the world's largest What can I if they don't get this can I have a guess please? Yes, you can if you want WNG foil of London is the world's largest what if Eli doesn't get it can I have a go? No, I have to give you I am G foil. I just want to see if I'm biggest manufacturers of tin foil I have to give you a higher. WMG foil.

Starting point is 00:24:44 I just want to see if I remember. Biggest manufacturers of tin foil. Yeah, go on. Yeah, it's F-O-Y-L-E if that helps with foil. No. Can I guess? Yeah. Biggest umbrella shop? No. Bookshop. Is correct. Oh, foil! No one gets that. T-May, how many squares have you got left? Two to fill. What's that fucking umbrella shop called? What square do you want?

Starting point is 00:25:02 Umbrella's are us. Which London park bears the name of a colour? Green. Is correct. Oh fuck off. How much number was that? That's 52. 52.

Starting point is 00:25:13 So that's three corners now. Quintet. Yeah exactly. 51. 51. Which well-known West Country landmark features Cox and Goff's Caves? Cox Caves. Cherno Gorge. Is correct. Cox and Goff's Caves? Cox Caves? Chirley Gorge?

Starting point is 00:25:25 Is correct. Cox and Goff's Caves? That sounds like a nightclub. People all dressed in black and arrogant knobheads. Are we having the after party there? We can do if you want. So that's a square off. How many squares have you got left?

Starting point is 00:25:36 One. And how many squares have you got left? One. Oh okay, so this goes down to it. This is going to be up to you to pick your last square number, which is? Fifty-eight. Fifty- 58. 58. Okay.

Starting point is 00:25:46 Which popular toy was named after President Roosevelt? The teddy. Is correct. You win that round. Easy, easy. Round goes to... What number is that? What number is that?

Starting point is 00:25:56 It doesn't matter. 58. 58, yeah, write it down. But just keep a track of all of that. That's the wrap. So the end of that round, the winners of the corners is... What was the other one? corners is teammate Ethan and Sean. Bob says, Bob says, Bob says, right.

Starting point is 00:26:15 Can someone restart him? Right. This is the Monkhouse Mastercard game. Oh, kinky. What this means is what you're gonna try and do now is cross the line. You've got a line of numbers across the middle. You're gonna try and get rid of all of those in this round.

Starting point is 00:26:31 Yeah, the middle line. The middle line. You have three lines, the middle line is what you're trying to clear this time out. Cross the line, I can't say something really racist. Yeah. Crossed it. To help me pick the questions for this,

Starting point is 00:26:44 I'm gonna shuffle these Monkhouse Mastercards and pull out a random one. What are those crayons all about? For easy and later. It was meant to use the crayons on this. It's a very complete set. Oh no, it was mint when I got it. I had to pop it all out of this card thing.

Starting point is 00:26:58 Oh, you had to pop it out of the card. Yeah, pop it out. You could say it was mint on one card. Mint on cards, you could say that. Getting a bit tired of me saying that, especially him. So I've pulled the card at random, which means the topics you will be talking about or answering questions on is pop, sport, show business,

Starting point is 00:27:15 people, places, the past. So if you look at your number on the middle and you say to me number seven, or what have you got on your card just out of interest? Six, 11, 29, 30, 40, 45. Let's say it's number six. That means the category is going to be pop because it's between one and ten. Oh, okay. So when you give me a number it tells me what category of question to answer.

Starting point is 00:27:33 So who's behind team B? You're going to start this round off. I thought this was going to be a lot more complicated than it's ended up being. And surprisingly, did you know the shit show of pointless last time? Yes, it was a disaster. It was an absolute disaster. I've done my own work this time, which may count against me in terms of humorous moments in the podcast. It certainly is.

Starting point is 00:27:51 I can't tell you anything funny yet. No. Oh God. That's fine. Some would argue that's been true for ten fucking years. I would. But I'm not talking about that. So with that being said, you've got your numbers there.

Starting point is 00:28:02 Give me a number and I'll tell you what category it is. Two. Two, so it's gonna be pop is your first category. Let me pull out pop. Madonna. Right at the back of the book. Even's chance, innit? Well, it's not gonna be Michael Jackson yet, is it?

Starting point is 00:28:16 Okay, which American artiste started the twist dance craze? Oh, that was Chubby Checker. Is correct, you can cross that off your board. Right, next one, what number do you want What number do you want matching with six? Okay, so you're gonna go with pop as well. Okay, uh I'll do you know the rock and roll one for a laugh a song by Bill Haley in the comments has entered the UK charts No less than eight times, but what was the title of the song? See you think it's obvious because your music business knob but they might not know I will I want to take a guess if they get you're more than welcome to guess if they don't get it come on bill ailey in the comments

Starting point is 00:28:53 come on bill hailey in the comment oh sharp a I'm not the name of your podcast should be lying answer the e Eli. Yeah rock around the clock. Is you ding? Is correct. They ever did and they nicked it. Yeah they did. Right bloody hell. That was six by the way Eli. Team B what number do you want from your middle row? What was your number? The first two. So 17. 17 which means we are getting into sport This might be where the game falls down two hours later was still on the school He's for which sport would you find yourself in a reverse head chancery? Better be otherwise, I'm gonna pop out later and go down the street get a

Starting point is 00:29:48 Head chancery why would that why would that have to do with whether or not it was wrestling or not? I don't understand. I'm trying to make a very poor sex joke about being knobbed off by a toothless prozzie. Alright? And that's what I call a reverse head chancery. Alright. I call it when you suck a turd back up. Once again, Eli Witts. You are... you are correct. It is a wrestling term.

Starting point is 00:30:09 When he looks surprised later on, he's like, that was a reverse chance, right? Wow. You'll all be saying it tomorrow when you're pinching it. Right, okay. Team A, so what number are you going to go for? We'll go for sport as well. We've got number 11. when you're pinching it. Right, okay. Team A, so what number are you gonna go for? I'm going for sport as well, I've got number 11. Okay, number 11, okay, cool. In which sport is the Cresta run associated?

Starting point is 00:30:34 What would you be doing if you were doing the Cresta run? Is that skiing? I don't think so. Yeah. You go for that? Yeah, consulting. Skiing? Is incorrect, it is.

Starting point is 00:30:44 It is, it is tobogganing or bobslaying. Oh. Oh. Yeah. You go for that? Yeah. Skiing? Is incorrect. It is. It is. It is. To boggling or bo- bobslaying. Oh. Same area. Winter sports.

Starting point is 00:30:52 Yeah, you've got the winter but not the sport. What's the Strike It Lucky theme? What's that again? Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Best- best fucking theme. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da! No no no, going for gold, I will have going for gold at the best theme. Going for gold!

Starting point is 00:31:08 The heat is on, the time is right, it's time for you to make it in. We have got balls, you've got balls, let's push our balls together in a bowl of sauce. I'm singing a different song now! Going for going for blobs! Right, pick a number! 37 please! I'm singing a different song now. Go Wimph- Go Wimph- Blobs! Right. Pick a number. 37 please! 37.

Starting point is 00:31:30 37 is people. Please Bob. People. That's a different one. That's blockbusters. Blockbusters. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Variety show can we have Krypton Factor soon? How did that one go? All right, it's one back there that one well futuristic the Krypton Factor

Starting point is 00:31:55 On the what name is Maurice Michael white better known Maurice Michael white Michael white. It's a name of I'll give you Michael White. Michael White. It's a name of... I'll give you a... No, don't close. No, no, no, no, no. Because they promised to beat me up after this if you gave any more. So I'm having it. Is this sport?

Starting point is 00:32:10 What's the topic? It's people. Ah. Alright, I ain't got a problem with that. No. So what is Moral Smicklewhite's real name? Moral Smicklewhite? I haven't got a bracket clue.

Starting point is 00:32:19 I ain't got a bracket clue. Moral Smicklewhite, better known. We're passing. Is it Burning the Dog? Is it, genuinely, is it Michael Caine it is Michael it does not work very well you got shall we go with sports wine just get that let's go with sport. What was that? They didn't get it? ball, hit a meter ball. He said, hold me down. Right, team B, pick a number for us.

Starting point is 00:33:09 What was that number? Team 37 again. I'm losing 11. 37 again. Right, you've got two this round. Yeah, we've got 6 and 11. Yeah, okay. And you've had two this round.

Starting point is 00:33:17 Yeah. We just keep on going until someone fills a line up. So it's people again. Okay, here we go. Who was the author of Alice in Wonderland? I can't think of the fucking initials. Oh shit It's just the first name we need who was the author of Alice? Lewis Cal is correct cross it off your board. How many of you have to cross off to there? And how many of you got left off three? Okay, we go over to you. What category do you want now?

Starting point is 00:33:40 We'll go to the 29 29 which is show business Okay, which of Walt Disney seven dwarves had no beard It was Dopey. It was Dopey. It was Dopey. I want to make it clear that was Tom that said that, but it's not our official answer. Can I get my just say Tom? If you're going to get involved, make a fucking effort. What the fuck? I don't know why you thought come onto this podcast and doing that kind of material was so appropriate. Do you know why Kante had no beard? Because he'd come from Brazil. I'm trying, I'm trying. Don't. I'm not going to say the same.

Starting point is 00:34:22 You could have let it go. And now you're the one with egg on your face. I am not. Well that's what, nobody can let it go. And now you're the one with egg on your face. I am not. Well, that's what nobody can let it go with Dopey, because he ain't got to be it. Anyone who goes to... You are right. It is Dopey crossing off your board. Next line from Team B. What number do you want?

Starting point is 00:34:32 43. 43, which will be places. In what American city was President John F. Kennedy assassinated? Oh, we'll see. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Oh They didn't know he didn't say we passed. I didn't know you just said fucking Dallas. They hadn't said anything yet. You just jumped in with your hand. Dallas? They might be Dallas. I'm not going to accept that because he said it.

Starting point is 00:35:14 He said they didn't know. I'm going to give you another question. We didn't know. You said you didn't know. They said they didn't know. That's why I said Dallas. You fucking stepped back. You're in charge of points and that's all, I don't want you fucking throwing in. I'm in charge of getting your answers right. Yeah, well you're not, you're not, I don't want that from you.

Starting point is 00:35:31 I mean, sorry. That's why I made you a fucking quizzling this time out, with points. No, quizzling doesn't mean that. I was gonna say that's a very difficult thing. No, Paul, that's a very difficult thing. You're a traitor! No, you are a quizzling. Watch it, huh? Hello!

Starting point is 00:35:42 You are a quizzling though, aren't you? Eli J Quizzling is what you're going to be known as. Fucking read the questions, Quizzle Master. Quizzling G. Silverman. Next number. 38. 38, which will be... People. Which comedian holds the world record for non-stop joke telling in which he attended in his hometown of Liverpool in 1974?

Starting point is 00:36:01 Attempted. He attempted. Ken Dodd! Ken... Is correct. Yeah! Cross it off the board. Ken Bobbin' up, attempted Ken Dodd Ken is correct. Yeah What would you like? Oh, no, no, no, no again shot on this knob job Ken What number sorry? Is places 38 for you what island off San Francisco was once the site of a notorious maximum security prison? Alcatraz Is correct, drop it off the board

Starting point is 00:36:26 That was 43 How many first letters have you got? One each One each, oh okay, come down to you, what number is that? 45 45 Right then Which, oh no you know that because I'm not going to give you it

Starting point is 00:36:39 Oh, I see it That's the point What street? And we're supposed to turn to him And we're supposed to turn to him for the... It's clear who he favours anyway, like you know, we've seen that I hate you all equally. Yeah. You love us so much. Give me a hand job. I'm not getting involved.

Starting point is 00:37:01 Right. Hey, you fucking cunts. Fucking lawyer. Right. Where should one ride a cock horse? Where would you ride a cock horse? Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross. Yeah. Is that it? Is correct. Wow.

Starting point is 00:37:18 I never heard that. Banbury Cross indeed. Well done, dude. I've got no idea. Don't even know where that one comes from. Final round is going to take place after this break. Oh! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE On your last trip,

Starting point is 00:37:44 did you discover what the Earth people eat? They eat a great many of these. They peel them with their metal knives. Boil them for twenty of their minutes. Then they smash them all to bits. They are clearly a most primitive people. FORMASH GET SMASH They are clearly a most primitive people. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They ain't half built well, they ain't half built well Course every Toshiba component is stronger to last longer Know what I mean? That's good, that's good

Starting point is 00:38:31 Hello Tosh, got a Toshiba? Hello Tosh, got a Toshiba? Can you catch a nice trout? I don't want a minnow I think you've caught an old poop How about a halibut or a jelly dim? You know your worm's off the hook but talk about the brand flakes that's a different matter here's what they all reply they're tasty tasty very very tasty they're very tasty Kellogg's brand flakes they're very tasty Welcome back to Bob's Full House. We're going into the final round for questionnaires to get through to the golden card round. The questionnaires? Yes. Oh with the questionnaires now? No. Eli,

Starting point is 00:39:26 I believe you've been sitting on a button. Oh it's time for the buttons. Do you know what Paul? For once you're right. Yeah, what do you mean for once? For one single time. Well for one single time it's nice. Alright team A. Yeah but now he's upset he has to get off the buttons. Who's ahead? You're in charge of points! It's your fucking job! They both won that last one, didn't they? No! He's in the lead. We've won both rounds so far.

Starting point is 00:39:49 Not to rob it in, but we have. Do you want the... Which buzzer would you like? Doesn't matter, just give them one. Do you want the blue? Or the red? I want the siren. It's the sound of the police.

Starting point is 00:39:57 There you go. Okay. Thank you. So, team B? Is your buzzer? the siren. It's the sound of the police. Thank you. So, team B. Is your buzzer. This round is there, so you want to pick that up. So, get close. Get ready. This is a quick fire round everyone. What's going to happen is, I'm going to ask a question. The first one who buzzes in gets to answer it, but if you get it wrong, the

Starting point is 00:40:24 other team gets a chance to answer it instead. And then after that they can cross off any number on their board. At this point the first person to cross off all their squares wins. How many of you got left to cross off? Six to go. How many of you got left to cross off? A fuck lot. Eight. Eight. Oh, because it's not that different then.

Starting point is 00:40:39 No, no. So, I'm just going to read questions out and I'll say A, shall I call the buzz? Yes, you're going to be in charge of using the ear, alright? I'll use the ear and call the buzz. Question number one, which English political leader worked in an industry as... Oh, sorry, again. Which current English... And that's not current, it's the fucking 80s.

Starting point is 00:40:58 That's what threw me off, I had to like hear the maths. Right, well... The toolmaker's son. Which English political leader worked in the industry as a research chemist? Robert Thatcher. Is correct, cross a number off your board. Basically the first person to cross it has to say house

Starting point is 00:41:15 and then we'll know, all right? Okay. Okay, question two. Who presented animal magic on TV? Rob Harris. No, handing over to team A. You can say pass, we can move on. Anikus something?

Starting point is 00:41:29 Anikus something. No, it was Johnny Morris. Remember he used to do all the voices of the animals? Yes, I remember that. Yeah, because you're much older than us. Right! Oh my God. Eyes down for the next question.

Starting point is 00:41:43 By what familiar name is the Brazilian soccer star Edson Arantes do... Cate... Yeah? Pele. Is Pele, is correct. So that's another one crossed off the board. During the Boer War in 1900, a reward was offered for the capture of an Englishman who could not pronounce the letter S properly. Who was that man?

Starting point is 00:42:04 It's such a weird question. Can we have it again please? During the Boer War in 1900 a reward was offered for the capture of an Englishman who could not pronounce the letter S properly. But who was he? Captain John Lisp. Is sadly not correct. Handing it over. Oh fuck knows. Is it Spike Milligan? No, it's Winston Churchill. Of course. Anyway, here we go. General questions. Okay, hands on the buzzers. The storyteller in Brer Rabbit's stories was Uncle...

Starting point is 00:42:31 It's not Bulgarian. That's what I wanted to say as well. Do you know Eli? Who was the name of the uncle in the stories of Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox and all that? Uncle Remus. Remus. Ah, yes. Okay, hands on buzzers. What was the name of the fictional character who fell asleep in the Catskill Mountains for 20 years?

Starting point is 00:42:49 I said it earlier to put me on pizza. Rick Van Winkle. Dick Don Winkle. Thank you for adding that. Now what did we come up with? Dip your Winkle. Anyway, that's the porn version. Cross it off. Fingers on buttons.

Starting point is 00:43:06 How did Jules Verne's First Men get on the moon? In Jules Verne's... Canon. Is correct. Is correct. I crossed that off. How many spaces do you have left, Ethan? Four.

Starting point is 00:43:17 And how many do you have left? Six. Oh. OK, all right. So it's about the same as when we started. OK, hands on buzzers. Cheek-Llay is grown in the Amazon jungle to produce what children's delicacy?

Starting point is 00:43:31 Hey chocolate? No. Hand it over to you. Marshmallow. No. Although you were closer. Go on yeah. No I said good guess. Oh okay yeah did you want to have a guess? It's got to be something like that. I don't know. I'm just trying to... The answer's chewing gum. Oh. Fingers on buttons. The more you know. Fingers on buttons. How many stomachs does a cow have? That's ages.

Starting point is 00:43:56 Four. Is correct. Technically it's one with four compartments, but... Sean, don't fuck this for me. Okay. In the Bible, whose sons were Cain and Abel? Go on. Adam and Eve.

Starting point is 00:44:09 Is correct. How many have you got left? Two. Oh, I've still got six left. Cain and Abel. Yeah, weird. Fingers on buttons. What shape is the base of a pyramid?

Starting point is 00:44:19 Square. Is correct. One more for you, I imagine. Yep. Alright, okay. Which day of the week is named after a Roman god? Which day of the week is named after a Roman god? Sunday? Close Saturday. Saturday. Saturday.

Starting point is 00:44:40 Wow, Paul. Oh, so we're not passing over now, is that a Sunday? Oh, wow. Oh, he's giving not passing it over now? Oh, wow! Oh, he's giving it a long way with the chip stroke! I'm gonna cross that off with one. No, you haven't. Fingers on buttons! I can't even take part in this sham!

Starting point is 00:44:56 Fingers on buttons! Fingers on buttons! Fuck this, I think everyone should just walk out. What nationality is the great explorer and navigator Christopher Columbus? TV Italian He's not a competent person. It's so rigged. We're going to start pressing the buttons so the game can end. We're winning despite unbelievable levels of corruption.

Starting point is 00:45:32 When you have a leisure who's this incompetent and hostile, you just have to take action yourselves and stand up to him. Oh, he's so pleased with himself. Look at him. You fucking little union leader. Workers of the union unite. What? Throw down your towels! I believe in that! Yeah, of course you do. So fuck you!

Starting point is 00:45:49 Little fucking Lord Fonteroy over there with his I went to a special school for boys! Right, next question. A special school for boys? No I did not! You did? You went to a special school. Right. I threatened the capitalist superstructure there.

Starting point is 00:46:05 The markets shremble. And I'll be in the podcast. What is double headed in Australia and Russia and is single headed in America? Let's be coin. No. Currency. I'm going to hand it over. Oh, because you know we don't know.

Starting point is 00:46:22 Do you know? No. No, good. What is it then? I said I don't know. Let's no no what is it then i said i don't know let's have a question again please what is double can i guess yeah even though my partner gets yeah a snake no when you were close with an animal it was an eagle oh yeah uh right if things are buttons what is autumn called in america that was a fall That was a fool. That is true.

Starting point is 00:46:47 Is it fall? It's fall. Team B got it. I did buzz. That's it. The winner of the final round is Ethan and Sean. Round of applause. Well done.

Starting point is 00:47:06 Now we're going on to the golden card round now. Right, you're going to play the golden card round. You have 15 questions between you and success. Ideally in those 15 questions, you are looking for the name on this bingo card of a holiday destination. Do we get the holiday destination? No. It means that if you get it, they already have to have a bean each

Starting point is 00:47:38 because they lost. But if you get this correct and you find the holiday, they have an extra bean to eat. It's two beans. It's a two bean situation. So The prize today going for the beat is Florida You're looking for the word Florida on the golden card and here is the golden card with numbers All I'm gonna ask you to do is pick a number I'll read you the question off the card Regarding to that number if you get it right great. It might reveal a letter if you get it wrong

Starting point is 00:48:04 It's wrong, but you've only got 15 questions. Okay, so you have a bingo card three lines up to 15 questions 15 numbers on the board you can begin by picking any number you want to remember as soon as you find the word Florida You've won. I see me. It's not in order. No, they're all sure Possibility they'll lose. Yeah, they might not find the word Florida, in which case they would take home a monetary value. But it basically means if they don't get the word Florida, they only eat one bean. Yes. All right?

Starting point is 00:48:34 Okay, here we go. We're increasing the number of beans. No, we're playing for beans. Pick a number. When they get it right, I'll tell you what they reveal on the board, all right? Okay, pick a number to start with. Anyone you want from the 15 you see there? X. No, you can't pick X. That's not a number to start with. Anyone you want from the 15 you see there? X.

Starting point is 00:48:45 No, you can't pick X. That's not a number. Unless it's in Roman numerals. In which case it would be 10. Roman salute. Yeah. Go on, pick a number. Seven. Seven. Right, okay. Question here. Where would a man normally wear a cummerbund? In a tuxedo? Like to a wedding? Like what part of the body would it be on? Oh, waist.

Starting point is 00:49:08 Is correct. So what does that reveal? Mr Silverman, what was behind... What was the number again? Seven. Seven, what was behind seven? Is it these columns one to ten? There is no seven.

Starting point is 00:49:21 Wait, there is no number seven on here. There is no seven on here. What did you... What number did you pick? Why did you pick seven? The tiny one in the top corner. I can't see seven on here. What number did you pick? Why did you pick seven? The tiny one in the top corner. I can't see it from here. That's number two.

Starting point is 00:49:30 It's really tiny. Anyway, it was number two. There's nothing on that. Like nothing on there but you get two. Except for number two. Yeah, that's an F. There's an F there. No, that's two. Yeah, but that's the number.

Starting point is 00:49:38 No, that's two. Yeah, and that's two. And that's F that goes above. They've revealed F. That's what the time is in Florida. We're just going to have a little break. Whoa, he says it with this. Sorry, they've revealed F. That's what the timeline underlies. We're just going to go through that as time is running out. Sorry, you've revealed F. That's in Florida, Florida, that's got an F in it.

Starting point is 00:49:50 You have revealed 12 T. Better than all. Right, so go on, next. 23. What is the name used for people who plan movements in a dance routine? Choreographer. Is correct. What's behind that number? Nothing. Nothing.

Starting point is 00:50:05 You want to go across the row? Yeah, we're just going to, yeah. Well, bear in mind, just so you know, that if you get questions wrong, it could mean you're getting rid of a letter that was there. So you do need to be selective. We understand that, but so far we're nailing it. OK.

Starting point is 00:50:16 Well, 33, then. Loving his confidence. 33. What is the highest mountain in Scotland? Ben Nevis. Is correct. Anything behind 33? You've revealed the letter L. Hey! Oh, that's in Florida. That's in Florida. highest mountain in Scotland? Ben Nevis. Is correct. Anything behind 33?

Starting point is 00:50:25 You've revealed the letter L. That's in Florida. Next number. What do you want? 44 I imagine. You imagined correctly, sir. Alright then. What is a claymore? What is a claymore? It's a sword. I need to be more specific than that.

Starting point is 00:50:41 A long two-handed sword. No. Is it the explosive device that explodes outwards no thanks for joining in bastard mine it's a explosive mine no it is a doubled edge Scottish sword oh okay so what was behind that number so you don't tell them I said yeah I Yeah, I can tell them if they lost it. If they get it wrong, they get it wrong. Because if it reveals a letter, then they will lose.

Starting point is 00:51:08 What are you talking about? I'm just saying I can reveal the fact that there's nothing behind it. Why? You need to reveal it. Because you do. You need to reveal if it's right or wrong. What if there's a letter there and they... Then I tell them and they've lost the game.

Starting point is 00:51:19 Shall we just start our own podcast? That's why they should really be thinking. There is nothing behind that one. Right, next one. What's that one should really be. There is nothing behind that one. Right. Next one. What's that one? 52. 52. I think I should have gotten the sword personally. Right. What is the calm center of a

Starting point is 00:51:34 hurricane called an eye? Is correct. Anything behind that? Hey, we just got the letter O there. Hey. Alright. So far, yeah. That's in Florida. That's in Florida. Next one. What number nine? He's gonna go straight from left to right. Okay, great. How fucking fun. Right.

Starting point is 00:51:50 Just like this game. We've got no indication of where the letter J will be. There's no time. Well you've done 5 questions, you've got 10 more. Well this is your 10th. Well no, this is your 6th. Matt, you lost 5. You've got 10 more? No, this is your 10th. No, this is your 6th No, this is your sixth.

Starting point is 00:52:06 This is who we turn to. For our fucking meaning. There's no meaning here. There's no meaning here. How many months have the letter G in it? Yeah. One, August. Is correct. Anything behind number nine?

Starting point is 00:52:22 Sorry, I was just trying to go through my head. I was waiting for the missing part. What? It's German. Anything behind number nine? I'm gonna do my bit. Yeah. 29, 59, 69, what are you gonna do?

Starting point is 00:52:32 Go for it! No, there's nothing behind number nine. No, thank you for that. I take it you're doing 13 next then? Yep. All right then, cool. Oh God. I think you're more of this game than we are. He is yeah that's what he does this is whole

Starting point is 00:52:49 fucking thing he brings people together and goes god I'm bored of you god fucking shut up person I've literally brought here to talk shut up how many deadly sins are there seven and is anything behind number? What you gonna do What's behind number 13 we've got the letter are there Okay next one Right here we go looking for patterns. Yeah. Oh, there's some options here. In what year was Mount Everest the first part? Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Starting point is 00:53:29 They haven't chosen which one to do yet. They're going across the line. It makes no odds anymore. So it's just 25, isn't it? No, they were talking about it. Maybe they were going to pitch one out. All right, well then pick a number. 25.

Starting point is 00:53:38 Thank you. All right. You win this time. But I chose that because I wanted to, to say no. Okay. Alright, you win this time. But I chose that because I wanted to, just so you know. Okay, thanks. Which country has the single largest wheat field? Is it Russia, Canada or America?

Starting point is 00:53:59 Lot of wheat in Canada, just saying. I don't know if that's a help or an entrance. I mean Russia's got a lot of land but I don't know if that's a hell of a poor entrance. What do you reckon? I mean, Russia's got a lot of land, but I don't know if much of it's arable. Well, to the day it was, how much of it was Russia, which isn't now. Do Americans have any grown wheat? Do they have a great corn? Oh, no, yeah. I mean, I like this talking between them. I like it, but it's also kind of door podcasting. Well, you can edit it, can't you, Master Editor? Yeah, yeah like it, but it's also kind of door podcasting

Starting point is 00:54:35 Say you need to be a bit more dynamic Canada is correct Number 25 is an eye Right, I take it you want to do 37 next? Yes please. Alright, okay, let's do this. Fucking riveting. This really is dragging. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr At all. At all. Not on the floor. At what age would a Jewish boy normally have a bar mitzvah? What age would they normally have a bar mitzvah? Number 37 there.

Starting point is 00:55:10 I think it's the start of the teenage years, isn't it? So we're going with 13? Yeah. 13. Bong is correct. Is there anything behind door number 37? There's nothing behind that door. Oh, 55 is the next one they're going to do. Well... Change your mind, do a different letter. Oh, 55 is the next one they're gonna do. Whoa.

Starting point is 00:55:29 Change your mind, quick, do a different letter. We'll do X again. Should I tell you what to do next? What's the largest city in Wales? Cardiff. Is correct, anything behind 55? No, nothing behind that. Right, 20, 20, 20 is the next number I presume you're just gonna go ahead with.

Starting point is 00:55:44 Fine, how would you send SOS in Morse code? 2020 is the next number I presume you're just gonna go ahead with. Fine. How would you send SOS in Morse code? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- behind 20. I just thought that was a nice bit of more so I liked it, enjoyed it. Is there anything behind 20? There's nothing behind there. Good moving on to 29. Christ. Why don't you tell us which ones have got something behind it. Apart from the stars on the blue background what else is depicted on the Australian flag? What else is on the Australian flag apart from the blue background with stars on. Union Jack? Is correct. The massive barbie with a fucking shrimp on it. Anything behind number 29? Great Big Kanga.

Starting point is 00:56:31 No. Is the answer. Well, it's just three left. Why don't you just tell us which ones have something behind them and we'll answer the questions. No, because you might get it wrong. You still get it wrong and then you lose. What is the title of the world's best-selling book? The Bible. Is correct.

Starting point is 00:56:50 Is it behind number 39? We got a letter D. Oh, they're one away. So they have to get one of these next two right. We got the D. You're gonna get the B. Shit. Look at that bit. You mean the last letter is on one of these last two so they could still fuck it up? Yeah, they could still fuck it up. Right, okay. Complete this phrase. Wine, women and...

Starting point is 00:57:12 Song! Wait, wait. Wait. Okay. What were you gonna say? Song. Are you gonna say something rude? No, I wasn't.

Starting point is 00:57:20 A clunge. I wasn't. I didn't say anything about it to them. Alright, well they did. And your answer is? Song. Are you confident? No. I'm less I didn't say think about it to them. All right. Well they did and your answer is son Are you confident? No, let's confident. Do you want to lock it in lock it in? You are correct And Rob To beans each down Your turn now and all beans are going in the bean hole. The beans are being chewed. Chewy beans.

Starting point is 00:58:10 Oh, don't suck on them all. Don't suck on the beany beany pickling badness. Right, you need to take this clip out of context. Oh, don't suck on it. Oh, these are worse than the first one. You want to roll that bean around your tongue. I don't think they're that bad actually. I know, because you have a pickle fixation don't you?

Starting point is 00:58:26 I love them I know. Anyway, thanks for that It won't go away Let's close your mouth and take the full force of it So, I just want to sum up I forgot something in the final round It was meant to be timed Yeah, that's what I thought

Starting point is 00:58:39 That's what I fucking did We had to be timed It was intminable! Fucking hell! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Blankety blank! Blankety blank! Blankety blank! Blankety blank! Blankety blank! Keeping house can become a problem. Come to Curries for sale prices now.

Starting point is 00:59:24 Save £14 on this Electrolux vacuum cleaner and £11 off their compact model now £63.99. Save £40 on the Philips Auto washing machine and this Hoover from the new Electron range only £189.99. Curry's price promise means you can't buy cheaper and we've got sale prices now. That's why we're the electrical people where everything clicks. Up with the lark, quick off the mark, starting your day, cycling away, like the outdoors, here's the coffee that's yours, that's right, Cafe Hard, decaffeinated, a taste that's highly rated, and if the day's taxing, it's great for relaxing, even drink it at night, you're

Starting point is 01:00:00 sure to sleep tight, Cafe Hard. That's right. What a treasure trove of different things this place is turning out to be. Ooh, look at that. Journicus Inexpensia Expostificus. Better known as a rail card. The distinctive colouring tells us that it's the family rail card. Now, who'd have thought that this little fella gives a family of four a whole year of cut price rail travel for just £12? And look, there's the Purple Elder, or Senior Citizen Rail Card for the over-60s, also £12.

Starting point is 01:00:34 You'll find both of these at your post office. Now what other interesting things can we find here? Get more out of your post office. Get more out of your post office. I've just given Eli a telling off. But it's time to play. It's time to play. You've ruined it. It's time to play our fourth and final game of this two-part epic spectacular.

Starting point is 01:01:00 We are playing Blankety Blank. Whey! Blankety Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Whey! Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. BEEPING And appearing tonight on... Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Stu Francis. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank.

Starting point is 01:01:16 Pat Coon. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Roy Ginear. Blankety Blank. Nerys Hughes. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Ten Dog. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Tessa Wyatt. Blankety Blank. Blankety Blank. Ten Dog. Blankety Blank. Tessa Wyatt. Blankety Blank. And here's your host on... ..Terry Wogan.

Starting point is 01:01:32 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE You know what Blankety Blank is? Blankety Blank. In America, they know it as the match game, would you believe? Super match game, super match game. Super match game. Super match game. Super match game, super match game, super match game. We're going to be doing all of that today. We've got our teams back in their seats. Team A, Ethan and Sean. Team B, Tom and Rob. And we're going to play the hosts. Now it's a simple game. You've got a team of celebrities and all you you've gotta do is after a question,

Starting point is 01:02:06 fill in the blank that's missing and see if it adds or, sorry, matches the celebrity... What? That's the game! I know, it's the way... It's the way I tell it! It's the way the slight hesitation comes in. And then it's just like all meanings in sort of... Hover's.

Starting point is 01:02:23 Yeah, hover's on the precipice of like... Disaster nonsense. Yeah, anyway, anyway, how'd you do it? It was a popular BBC game show for many many years for the 70s and 80s hosted by Les Dawson Terry Wogan Later Lily Savage. Who does it now on the beach? No, they brought it back Lily Savage did it. And who does it now on the BBC? Bradley Walsh. Bradley Walsh does it. Can't they get his money back from him? They're still going. No, they brought it back new. They brought it back with Bradley Walsh. They've been in bad for about a couple of years now, I think. It's much loved. Sometimes people say I'm a Les Dawson man. Some people prefer Wogan.

Starting point is 01:02:55 I think I'm a Les Dawson kind of guy when it comes to hosts because he had such a charm. I kind of, I hate this show, but I'm the master of it. He was a giant of a lighter entertainment comedian. Yeah, I love this word. An absolute giant. But unfortunately, just me and Eli today playing hosts. But who, you may ask, are the celebrities? Who may I ask are the celebrities? I'll introduce the celebrities E, F, and J first.

Starting point is 01:03:18 Explain to us about it. Right, so our first celebrity, who are you? Hello, everybody. I'm Bobby Bollocks. Bobby Bollocks is back! Hello, Bobby Bollocks! Not Northern comedian, once or twice cancelled for an inappropriate material, but how's the comedy career going? Oh, you know, it's ups and downs, mainly, you know, up the stairs to my hostel room in Blackpool.

Starting point is 01:03:39 Alright, and do you have any gigs at the moment? Fuck all! I'm very funny! They sell me down the fucking pub! I sit there and I say, I want to hear an old fucking one from fucking old Bobby Bullock! I'll tell you a joke. Go on.

Starting point is 01:03:56 No, it's what I say to them. I say, I'll tell you a joke. Oh, okay, go on. You're going to tell us a joke then? If you give me £5, have a pint, like, maybe one of those bells, just a thingy bells please All right, please. Okay. Do us a joke. No. Oh, oh, yeah. All right. Sorry. Okay You're on to your big break. All right. All right, come on. All right. Okay. All right. Here we go Oh, I came home late last night. I haven't been drinking And then I said Vera i'm gonna shit in the bed

Starting point is 01:04:25 Get a fucking uva put the special attachment on Suck up a shit out of my bed with a chassis because I'm fucking drunk as fuck Fuck you Bobby Bollocks everyone I'm playing Bobby Bollocks here everyone I'm in Plymouth all week And sitting next to Bobby on his side Who's who we got as our next guest.

Starting point is 01:04:46 Hello everyone, John Gunty. Oh, hello, John Gunty. Hello, John Gunty here, yeah. Yeah, I can't believe you've come all this way. It's so great to be here, Paul. You know, it's been a real dream of mine. Did your mum let you out? No, I don't live with my mum no more.

Starting point is 01:04:58 I thought you did. No, no, no, I'm married, everything, kids, everything. Oh, have you? That's a good, that's great. Are you making light of my high-pitched voice? No! Not at all! I was just merely... I didn't know... I thought you were still living with your mum. John Gunter, yeah, I do food reviews and drink.

Starting point is 01:05:15 Food and drink reviews. I thought you... Oh, yeah, I'm getting you confused with the other character with the similar voice. I don't know what you're talking about. I thought... No, but your wife let you come here today, did she? Yeah, well, I didn't tell her I was going to be on telly, I don't want to... Oh hang on, my phone's ringing, hang on, who is this? I don't want to touch the...

Starting point is 01:05:29 Hello? Hello? Tell her I'm not here. Is he here? Is he there? Hello, who is this? No, John! Are you on the telly?

Starting point is 01:05:38 Jane! John, are you on the telly? I said you shouldn't go on the telly, John! Jane, I have to do this for me! I've got needs, John! You're off on the telly! I told you shouldn't go on the telly, John! Jane, I have to do this for me! I've got needs, John! You're off on the telly! I told you I'm sick!

Starting point is 01:05:50 With 30 boys! I told you I'm sick! And 30 boys on the telly, I don't like it! I'm just gonna talk about food and drink! You're coming out right now! All my legs are closed! Closed, John! Well, they certainly are most of the time anyway.

Starting point is 01:06:05 Alright, well, we're going to have to hang up, unfortunately. Say goodbye, thanks for calling in. Oh dear. I'll tell you what, all I'm trying to do is forge a little micro-influencer career talking about food and drink. I don't know, sometimes, Paul, I don't know. Alright, well thanks for joining us anyway. Okay, next, and our third character, Who is it? Oh, hello everyone's Hi, Paul, yeah, it's great to be here, you know taking a little bit break from those heavy recording session

Starting point is 01:06:36 Yeah, know how have you got a new track that you're about to drop? Yeah, it's called eat my bum shorts off It's the dangers of improvisation isn't it? It's not called that because that would be stealing from the Simpsons. Yeah, Songs in the Key of Arse. Oh yeah, that's what it's called. So you just want to see Stevie Wonder then instead? No, it's like a play on the Stevie Wonder thing. No, okay, it's a spoof.

Starting point is 01:07:00 Yeah, it's called Songs in the Key of Arse and then it's like a go at fault sleep, do it on vinyl, it's very tasteful. And then there's a big close-up of a Winnie! It's just about to set fire, you know? And I just wanted to capture that moment when you're just about to smoke a massive, great, big, psychoactive poo ball and it's anticipation. Okay, yeah, so can you drop us a lyric? Yeah, okay. one of the lyrics goes

Starting point is 01:07:25 ooooooo like that wind in a fire baby I suck in the smoke in the snow like that Very moving, it's good to have you on the show for us Thank you everybody Now we have our other three contestants

Starting point is 01:07:42 Who are they? Oh yes, so these... Now you have to do the contestants. Who are they? So you these... Now you have to do the presenting. Hello everyone. Yes. I'm also presenting. I'll be doing the points and everything. Now we've got three other celebrities. Who's the first celebrity here? Hello. Hey everybody. It's Jimmy Biscuits live in the USA. Mr Biscuits! A rare appearance everyone of Mr Jimmy Biscuits. I'm finally here to give the show a taste of class.

Starting point is 01:08:06 Now, would you be bringing some of your American show biz noose? Eelite Silverman, when I appear on any show, whether it's big or small, I don't see them as size. I see them as opportunities to make dreams come true. And I'm gonna make all your dreams come true today with a bit of zizzle zazzle, bizzle bazzle, I got a bit of zazzle zizzle in there as well. Oh we were hoping you'd bring some of the zang to pursue the bazazzle zazzle and the other. I have quite a lot of dizzle wizzle on my dizzle gizzle. Anyway I'm here I can't wait to do the blankety blank. Oh that's great Jimmy. Yeah you ask me anything I'll be good at this. Okay you're good at what

Starting point is 01:08:41 what would you? I'm very good at firing blanks. Okay. Right out of my dirty dingo. You've been trying to have children, we did hear about this. I've had children, I've had one, two, three, four, five children. And what were they called? With different ladies around the world. Yes, very much so. And they don't know who that is, because if they do they know they got a DNA problem. Well Jimmy, really got a biological genome issue. Good to hear from you anyway. Perhaps you'd just like to tell us the names of your five children please. Spazazzle, little Jimmy Bibbub, Grundlefist.

Starting point is 01:09:14 We're on three, he said Grundlefist and we're on three everyone. Happy Hands, and of course my favourite of the litter little Lizzy Liz lipsticks She's America's sweet on everybody and she's gonna be miss world Oh, so you're putting your kids through showbiz. I am I'm gonna follow in daddy's footsteps Yeah, that was many years ago in when I was on the streets the mean streets of what mean streets of Philadelphia Right next quick. Bye next one. Uh, and we've also got another bloody celebrity guest here. Who's this? It's me

Starting point is 01:09:59 Oh, you wait see me in a while. I've been busy chopping my meat Oh, yeah, my special meat shop where I smell smell you smell smell children. You can't you do have to boil them down off Yeah, I've got onto Jimmy Biscuit And you've got a new venture yeah going for the casual dining market And what is that name of that restaurant? Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Back-to-back character the theme is like well basically you go here And it's been like at school and everyone sits at a school desk and then they get what kind of food can they have? spotted dick spotted dick Rumpily rumpily pumpily old-fashioned meals like old custard jelly eggs

Starting point is 01:10:59 Yes, that's delicious meat of thought tubed meat of fart meat of thought oh Yeah yeah I don't know what that is! No I don't know what anything is. Crusted egg! Crusted egg! Crusted egg! Yeah bye everyone! Next character come on. Oh and now we thank you Meaty, I hope we'll be coming back to you later. Yeah you'll be coming back to me later bye!, you'll be coming back to me later, bye! But now we've got a really special guest, final guest everyone.

Starting point is 01:11:29 Final guest everyone. It's everyone's favourite, Data Bank, it's Trackbot everybody! Hello, hello, my name is Trackbot. I know all the facts of music. Trackbot, great to see you. You're all cleaned up, you're scrubbed up, you've got your lovely metal tuxedo on and a cover band. That make-up girls did a shining job of my helmet.

Starting point is 01:11:56 A shining job of your helmet. They shined my helmet blinding. Now, you're known to be one of the world's foremost experts on all things musical. I am. So, perhaps you could tell me, Trackbot, who recorded the LP Revolver. Why?

Starting point is 01:12:15 Which group? Shawaddy Waddy. It was Shawaddy Waddy, everyone. Trackbot. Shawaddy Waddy recorded it in 1985. Now, you need to go back in your charging cabinet. Have they made that nice and clean for you? There's a bit of muck.

Starting point is 01:12:29 Up. Yeah, that was me. Sorry, I couldn't help it. It was just sitting there. I just put a bit in, just to tip it. A little bit of muck in your cabinet. I'll have to live with it. Yeah, you need... We'll see you later again. Go in there, get charging, track bot,

Starting point is 01:12:46 now let's get on with blankety blank! Blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, Blank. Blank is a blank. Right, here we go. So team A, it is very simple. I'm gonna read out a question with a blank and a statement with a blank. You're just gonna, between the two of you,

Starting point is 01:13:15 come up with a word that you think fits that blank and then you'll ask our celebrities and see if they have answers that match yours, okay? Okay. Here we go. Here's the first question. Oh, funny enough, it's got my name in it. After two years of yoga, Paul was so fit

Starting point is 01:13:30 he could put his blank in his ear. So I have a little thing between you. Blankety blank, blankety blank. I mean, the real question is whether we play it straight. After two years of yoga, Paul was so fit he could put his what blank in his ear. It's obviously my instinct is to say cock. I want to say asshole.

Starting point is 01:13:46 But his arse in his ear. Oh, but if he's doing it from the book it's going to be from the book. Toe. Leg. We are playing it from the board game by MB Games. If it's in his ear. And his ear, yeah, I guess. Toe then.

Starting point is 01:14:01 So I'm going to have to bring a Christian. Oh, fuck. That was'm going to have to bring a Christian... That was him trying to rush us. I know, but we need to get through... I'm going to have to push you. Why are you speaking like that? Because Toe you're Wogan, innit? Oh, it's Wogan.

Starting point is 01:14:19 We're going to say toe. Toe. Toe. Let's go for our celebrities and see how many agree with the word toe. Uh, oh god. So, uh, yeah, I was thinking that too, but no, unfortunately I had the word foot. Foot was from me, sorry buddy, sorry. Foot in your ear, it's not even...

Starting point is 01:14:36 Oh hello, right, I was thinking a little bit, and first of all, I thought he meant Willy. Uh, you put his Willy in his ear, but no, no. Thanks Meaty Margaret. I went with, no, I went with my real answer, who's Toe. So you get a ding ding ding. Ding ding ding. Ding ding ding. Ding ding ding. I am Trackbark and I also said Toe. Toe is correct. Ding ding ding ding ding.

Starting point is 01:14:58 Ding ding ding ding ding. Ding ding. You read the next five in your characters. This is a mistake. Player two, yeah. Yeah, so So you're gonna read those three there. Okay. In character. Alright. Hello Bobby fucking Boats. So when I go fucking yoga, like some kind of health fucking freak, I have a ciggie going, fucking have a fart, that's it. And then I put my foot I'll get my foot up

Starting point is 01:15:25 there so no foot there no points there so next one from John let's go to John Gunty I've done yoga for so long right I managed to get my toe in my ear ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Yeti, you ever said that? Question two team B Tom and Rob here is your question Okay, you ready? What small and green and covered in red spots a blank with measles So what is the blank what small and green? A blank with measles have a little thing between you. There's not even anything funny you can say about that. Blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank I Go through them again

Starting point is 01:17:06 I was thinking maybe come at the frog at first cuz crabby He's always there. That's right. Jimmy that dirty pig and he's always kind of catch something up. It's big He's not fucking sour. She's alright. Actually. She didn't say yes to Jimmy Anyway, anyway, I said I said P P P P Tell us what your kids were called again. Yeah, that ain't happening. That ain't happening. I think one was called Grundle. Anyway, great then!

Starting point is 01:17:32 One of his kids Grundlefist, thank you! Remember your shame! Little Lizzy lipstick. Lizzy now, who can forget her? Anyway, Meaty Margo, what do you say? Oh, alright, well I thought it was going to to be Kerber as well, so I've just written down FRAG. Oh, not FRAG.

Starting point is 01:17:48 And then Trackbot, what have you got? I also had to go with FRAG. Oh, god. Oh, twat. Fuck you, Trackbot. Right. What small and green are covered with red spots? Me at the VD clinic.

Starting point is 01:18:03 You know what I mean? But what did you write down? A piss VD clinic. What did you write down? A piss in red spots. What did you write down? Frog. Oh but go on. Oh yeah so this is a this is really a good one for me John Gunty because I'm not trying to get into the food review. You food you are you actually Yeah You got three apiece. And for round two, three apiece. Yeah, three apiece.

Starting point is 01:18:47 Well done. Three of frogs. For round two, you can't ask the people who got it right for you in the last round. So that means, Oh, what a shame. So that means you can only speak to Bob and Vicky and, Who, sorry?

Starting point is 01:19:01 And who are these? No, that's the board game version. Stop. You can only speak to Jimmy, Sorry and who are these? You can only speak to Jimmy Bobby bollocks or the teen yeti in this next round, okay, and then for you you can only speak to Margaret I can't give a fuck

Starting point is 01:19:25 Let's just do it anyway. Right, question two. Round two. I can tell you who's got what right. Two right. This is the quintessential Cheap Show experience. Is this akin to pointless yet? He's getting there. Team A, here's your next question.

Starting point is 01:19:40 Blankety blank. Right, tomorrow on Blankety Blank, the contestants are going to swap blank. What do you think they're going to swap? Blankety blank, blankety blank, ba dum dum. Blankety blank, blankety blank, ba dum dum. Blankety blank, blankety blank, blankety blank, ba dum dum dum. Clothes.

Starting point is 01:19:57 Clothes is your answer. Okay, here we go then. That's you, so you. Who can they ask? You can ask, so Jimmy, right. Oh, hello, I'm Jimmy Biscuits. What I would like to see is them swap bodily fluids. I would like to very much give Teen Yeti some love in that.

Starting point is 01:20:15 Oh, don't, you're making me blush. I've had my eye on you for a while. Oh, don't, man. I love your second album very, very much. Oh, don't flatter me. Never mind that album. I think there flatter me, no one likes that album. I think there's a lot of gold in that album that a lot of people... Jimmy stop!

Starting point is 01:20:30 It was ahead of its time, it was ahead of its time I tell you. Anyway I'm just gonna go ahead and say, but unfortunately I wrote down the word partners, so no points for you that round. Swingers, I see, swingers. Right let's ask the next one then, I believe it's Bobby Bollocks asked this one now. Right. Go on, what did you say? What did you write down? Oh, well I go and swap partners

Starting point is 01:20:49 and I get me Aldi and I fucking have a cry. You're getting his Aldi. What? Which one? Aldi, D. Round two are we in? Yeah, all right, all right. Partners.

Starting point is 01:21:02 Oh, you wrote partners as well? Oh, nothing right there as well. I fucking wish. There's swingers in this game. I fucking wish. I love it. Now finally 10 years in. Are we in yeah? Partners oh you wrote partners as well Swap teen yeti, and I don't have several cans of Carly teen yeti Teen yeti speak to teen yeti Jimmy This is unexpected my eyes this has never happened before well the magic is yeah let it was a bit different. Oh, yeah, it was fine then I said that what could be swap out swap nose. Oh, so no points that round for you some nose

Starting point is 01:22:03 So we've got ahead into Everybody sorry to read you a different question now because you read the wrong one out, didn't you? I read the wrong one out, everybody. Sorry. I have to read you a different question now because you read the wrong one out. Sorry about that. Right, okay. Team B, here is your blankety blank. I keep having this terrible dream that my boss is a dog and I am a blank. What is the blank? Takapity cat. Let's be sensible. Cat. Okay, so you can only speak to... Bobby or Tieti.

Starting point is 01:22:46 Uh, no, hang on. They're red, so they can speak to Meaty Margaret. Meaty Margaret. I love to hear what Meaty Margaret's gotta say. Right. Oh, well, I tell you what it happens to be. I wrote down what is my favorite special ingredient in my little boy pie. It's quite nice., no I had a little bit of salt a little bit of grouse and then just add it all off I had a cat so yeah We love you won the first round of this that's exciting in it. Yeah Oh

Starting point is 01:23:21 The track will say I wrote something else down. I was a bit confused. I couldn't stop thinking of dirty mucker in my grave Dirty buck so I could only think of one thing and that is the word bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone bone You look like Howard Stern or something, you know that? Track Bart's side. Anyway, at the end of that round, that means Team B is going through because they have four against Team A's A, which does mean it is a balanced game. It's a draw. However, however, you now can play to double beam them. You've already got a beanie to eat.

Starting point is 01:24:30 But if you can do the super match game. Super match game, super match game, super match game. Then you will win an extra one. First of all, you've got to pick a character from the six between you. And that's the one you're gonna go in one-to-one with We go for meaty Margaret just because it might You sure you don't want to go with Bobby bollocks or anything, you know

Starting point is 01:25:03 You sure you don't want to go with Bobby bollocks or anything, you know Bollocks teen yeti some strong classic characters there not the untested waters of track book See I'm gonna promise to you. I'm gonna turn a new leaf and make it up to you with this No more drinking. How many have you had Bobby? I've had a few pints it's alright one G&T few pints little brandy, shifter of that port stuff, I've been drinking metal-air spirits You know you got your head to head round right you got your card have you got your card? Yeah Metalhead spirits, you know, you got your head to head round right? You got your card. Have you got your card yet? So I'm gonna state a blankety blank and you write down that word on the card Eli

Starting point is 01:25:49 You write down sorry Bobby bollocks you write down a word and if they match they get double beam award So I've got a little card for you here to write it down, but hide it from them All right. So again, you're gonna go against Bobby bollocks. Okay on this. Come on guys sink into my main my mind It's a very bad place So they're the head-to-head super match thing Give you an idea of what I mean by this by the way if I say the word star you might write fish or star Was walking pasta You might write fish or star whatever. Oh yeah, I'd write fucking fish. I was walking past a fish market the other day. I said, hello ladies!

Starting point is 01:26:32 Hello! Hello ladies! I said, because there was ladies there as well. Pay attention between the two of you. Here we go. Here is your word. Chocolate. Chocolate starfish. Here we go. Here is your word. All right chocolate Give us a fucking question again chocolate chocolate now write a word

Starting point is 01:26:58 Yeah, can't get starfish out my mind Well, unfortunately got to think of something because they've written a word down So you have to find a word if it matches they get double beans. Have you written your word down? I've had a word down so you have to find a word if it matches they get double beans Have you written your word down? Alright team B show me the word chocolate Button chocolate what button? That's a chocolate legitimate chocolate I'm not saying it's not. I'm not fucking trying. Bobby, you've let us down mate. Is that it? Is that it then? Super Match Game! Super

Starting point is 01:27:35 Match Game we skipped. I can sing it, Super Match Game. Anyway, with all that being said, oh Cor Blimey, you're eating beans, but just one bean each. And we have reached a tie across two episodes. Team A, shut up and answer the question podcast. Eat your beans. Eat the beans. Beansy, pickly beans. And we want tasting notes as they go down, please.

Starting point is 01:27:58 They are nasty. It's really unpleasant. It is. It is so similar to when you get one of those shitty 99p ham burgers and you open it up and then your kids give you the gherkins. I'm so with you, I relate so much on these things. You like the gherkins? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:18 Yeah! Load that shit! Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I love gherkins. Is there a difference between gherkins and pickles? Gherkin actually refers to the strain of cucumber itself. It's nothing to do with the pickling. Gherkin is a type of German

Starting point is 01:28:34 stout knobbly cucumber that lends itself to pickling. Much like a Cornichon is the name of that smaller cucumber. Yeah. They Yeah cucumber strains If you ever go to the States, there's a brand out there called Grillo's which is only the massive ones No, they're similar though, because they're sort of half sours. They're not fully fully pickled But they've got such snap to the skin and like a little bit of garlic in them in the pickle water, you know Fucking Grillo's man. Oh, they never let you down.

Starting point is 01:29:07 And they don't have anything like that here. England, up your pickle game. That was a party political broadcast by Eli Silverman. Right, so it is a draw. So to crown the winner, we are going to go back to our first game in part one, which was play your cards right. We're not really good at this. Shit. So Eli, do you have a coin on you by any chance? one which was play your cards right? We're the good guys. Well, we were really good at the question here.

Starting point is 01:29:25 Shit. So Eli, do you have a coin on you by any chance? Ace, Ace, Ace, Ace. Right, can we just play the Ace before we start? No, no, no, no, no, no. We're not playing the cards. We're just going to play the questions here. Can I keep it simple?

Starting point is 01:29:38 I want to go home. I want to go home now. Right, have you got a coin? So because you won the last game, you get to do the toss of the coin to see who goes first in terms of answer the question or say if it's higher or lower variety show so higher or lower to pick so yeah toss heads or tails heads what is it it's heads it's head so do you want to answer the question first or do the higher lower so we higher or lower

Starting point is 01:30:02 we'll do the higher lower all right maybe a choice. That could have clinched the game for you. So team A, do the short. How many people of the 100 were diagnosed with chlamydia? Oh dear. How many people of the 100 went on, would you turn to sex work yourself just to get extra sex? More sex podcasters. Do you get tired of the sound of your own voice?

Starting point is 01:30:23 Oh, none of them said that. Bachelors. We asked 100 bachelors. They're always asking fucking bachelors. No, no, I've just picked out the ones that I do as a bachelors. It's not like all of them are there. How many times do you jerk it off per week? Is that a personal question or what?

Starting point is 01:30:40 Because how many times do you do it a week? Depends. Depends on what? What I'm doing apart from jerking off. There must depends on what what I'm doing apart from jerking off There must be lots of things you're doing apart from jerking on I know but there's a different there There's a different how long does it take to jerk off on and off? He's jerking off now How long does it take you from start to finish? Clean up sometimes again it varies, but this is not what I'm here to do

Starting point is 01:31:05 The Spanish Inquisition This is not what I'm here to do. Isn't it? Isn't it? No. I don't know. I thought it was. This is not the Spanish Inquisition. Am I on trial? The comfy chair. Come on. Right. Here it is. We asked 100 bachelors, do you like kissing women who wear a flavored lipstick?

Starting point is 01:31:19 How many said yes, they like kissing women with flavored lipstick? Like when they dress up. That 70s question. I like it when they have like, beef and flavor. They like kissing women with flavored lipstick Like Bob rule lipstick. Oh, dear Bob rule lipstick. I like a bit that something that salt vinegar lipstick Like it kissy kiss that gravy gravy gravy lipstick. Gravy gravy. My Carol she fucking loves gravy lipstick. You know what I'm just quietly discussing her on here. Fizzy fizzy gravy. Fucking brussels sprout lipstick.

Starting point is 01:31:56 Fizzy gravy. Come on. They've been ready for a while. I like how Eli embarrasses himself and then tells the show to move on. You could just not do it. There is not option Mr Siltman. Right? Right. How many do you think out of a hundred bachelors would like to kiss a woman with flavoured lipstick?

Starting point is 01:32:17 60. 60. An interesting, middly, middly, middly score. I think it's lower. I hate it. Higher or lower? Lower. Yeah or lower? Lower. Yeah, lower. You say lower, you say 60. The actual answer was 64.

Starting point is 01:32:34 Wow. That does mean we should open answer the question is today's podcast winner for Cheap Jokes TV 2021. Well done. Well done everyone. Well done Ethan, well done. Good game, good game. Good game, good game,ly 2021. Well done, everyone. Well done, Ethan. Well done, Sean. Good game, good game, good game. Well done, Rob.

Starting point is 01:32:49 Let's wrap this... Fuck her up. I just came. APPLAUSE These potatoes are for the crisp makers. Here they won't come up. We're too good to be any old crisp. We wanna be Smith crisp. We wanna be Smiths Crisp. We wanna be Smiths Crisp. We're not marching until we make you see

Starting point is 01:33:52 That if we were Smiths Crisp If we were Smiths Crisp What tasty light and golden wrist we'd be I'd better phone Smiths. We wanna be Smiths! Smiths crisps. So good every potato wants to be one. Hey Thompson, do you know anything about her? Who's that, sir?

Starting point is 01:34:15 No, I mean her. I want to get my head on for me party. You mean her? Yes, of course. Hairdressers, hairstyles... Ah! The rolls. The rolls. No problem. Here we are. Garage services. Oh, not our rolls, Royce. The bread rolls. Oh, sorry. The rolls. The rolls, no problem. Here we are, garage services. Come on. Not our rolls, Royce. The bread rolls. Oh, sorry, caterers.

Starting point is 01:34:28 Look, look, there's one just round the corner. Enough. Oh, Thompson, you think of everything. Oh, that's so true, Scylla. But then I've got a lot of answers. Ah, trust Thompson. For the local answer, trust Thompson. Honey Monster's hunting for a sticker and swap card, free in every special pack of sugar

Starting point is 01:34:36 puffs, so he can stick the stickers and swap the animal cards. And he's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it.

Starting point is 01:34:44 He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with it. He's got a lot of fun with card. Free in every special pack of Sugar Puffs. So he can stick the stickers and swap the animal cards. Honey Monster's got an elephant and Uggie's got a... Sugar Puffs. With a sticker and a swap card. Free in every special pack. So it is time to say goodbye. We hope you've enjoyed this two part board game game show special. We've been very thankful to be joined by these two podcasts who come all this way

Starting point is 01:35:12 to have some fun with us today. So just one last time guys say goodbye, say what your podcast is, where they can follow you. Ethan and Jay, Sean, sorry, where did James came from? I'm Ethan Lawrence and this is James. We do shut up and answer the question, which is a show where we answer questions sent in by you guys. So have a listen, send us questions. It's a lot of fun. It's a lorra lorra fun.

Starting point is 01:35:34 It's a lorra laughs as well. It's a lorra lorra lorra fun. Not a lot. And anyway, our Eli is going to say, introduce the next team to say goodbye and stuff. And we also had our runners-up today, but The untitled sci-fi Sci-fi Wednesday All right, it's out on a Monday

Starting point is 01:36:03 Where we can find your show and what kind of show we can expect? I've been Tommy, he's been Rob. We are the Variety Show Podcast. We're also the Untitled Sci-Fi Show. Look us up on channel84.co.uk. We do everything from sci-fi and the sci-fi show. Funny that. And we also do a load of random retro nostalgia taste test music movies on the Variety Show. All sorts of stuff there to enjoy, Paul. A variety of podcasts from a variety of podcasters. And we, the Cheap Show

Starting point is 01:36:25 boys, hope we haven't ruined your enjoyment of either. So, thank you all. Just to be clear, his name is Sean. Not James. So, that's all it for most. Join us next week. If you support us on Patreon, thank you very much. You can go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show. Give what you can but please only if you can and if you can't, please spread the word, review, like, share, all that kind of garbage. Other than that, thecheapshow.co.uk is the website, which is your one-stop shop for all things Cheap Show, and four nightly episodes on YouTube called Cheap Shots.

Starting point is 01:36:54 They're fun. Other than that, that was that. Say goodbye, everyone. Bye! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE What a shocking ending! No one saw that coming! No, really! Anyway, thank God that's all over and done with. Coming up after the break, we're back with Gareth and his crew of paranormal pals for another incredibly fake edition of Ghost Getters.

Starting point is 01:37:51 More fucking shit clogging the telly. I'll say, un-fucking-believable. What? What? No, I didn't learn my lesson from last week. No, no, I didn't take the warning seriously. No, no, I didn't. Take the warning seriously. No, no, please don't tell the boss. Alan, no, please, please, don't tell her. She'll find me for sure this time.

Starting point is 01:38:13 Please, Alan, be my best friend. Alan, please, Alan, Alan, please, please, no, scene, so get busy with the fizzy with soda streams. Big or small, get busy with the fizzy, short or tall. Crave a fizzy flavor with water from the tap. Press the magic button, shake it, just one button. Mix a little mixer, add a little dash. No trouble with the bubbles, splish a little splash, The endless stream, so get busy with the fizz-

Starting point is 01:38:49 Ah! Solar Stream! That's fizzier! A is for alpha, B is for bites. See for yourself that they taste just right. D is for dinner, E is for eggs. Lettuce so tasty from A through to Z, Crisp golden potato and fluffy inside, often baked, grilled or fried, made by birds eye, you can't buy better, and called alpha

Starting point is 01:39:10 bites because each one's a letter. You tell us how much you like the Alpen taste, but couldn't we make it cheaper? Well, we could cut down on our fruit, not go such a bundle. Now wheat, lose the odd nut or two, or add to the cheaper ingredients. But we think you'd notice the difference. That's why we keep to the Swiss recipe we prefer. So you keep the Alpen taste you prefer.

Starting point is 01:39:36 Alpen. It's not the tastiest musically for nothing. Hello, welcome back to Ghost Gettys with me Gareth the Ghost Hunter. This is our second night at Wilbury Manor. So let's get right back into it shall we? We gotta go back to the attic where I believe my good friend Jack Crystal is doing another seance, hoping to bring out the evil spirits that lurk in this house. That's right Gareth, I've been feeling some incredible energies all over this house and not, I have to say to everyone, okay, be careful watching this because we are uncovering some dark, dark forces here. Oh, uh, uh, oh.

Starting point is 01:40:36 Yeah, Gareth, are you feeling something? You know what, every time I sense something I get this terrible rash in me arsehole. Oh, that's a man offence station. I would have been with a demon. It's a demon because my bum always weeping. Oh, when it weeps, that means it's a demon. I see. Now, Gareth, did you bring along that's Maxi Pants?

Starting point is 01:41:01 I might have had to. Yes, I know it's painful for you But this great that we are actually making a breakthrough and you think that you think through this that there is a some kind of demon Here, I think we're very much in the presence of an evil force now Gareth. That's amazing. That's amazing We've got cameras all over the place and I've been picking up like I say some energy now. Yeah, Gareth. Do you have? Now Gareth do you have... OOOH! OH! OH!

Starting point is 01:41:25 OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!

Starting point is 01:41:33 OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!

Starting point is 01:41:41 OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! Here we go. I'm gonna rub my tip upon this countertop. There we go. Ah, that's right. Oh, it's seeping now. Open it both ends. Fucking open the window, I don't care! Fucking open the window! There we go. Fucking eat that demon. Get thee to a house of Satan. Gareth, you need to see a doctor, mate. You need to see a doctor.

Starting point is 01:42:00 HE LAUGHS Yeah. Yeah, I do. That'll do. That'll do.

CheapShow - Ep 433: CheapShow TV 2025 (Part Two)

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