CheapShow - Ep 436: The Award Winning Podcast

Starting point is 00:00:00 Yeah, no, no, you can tell Tom Cruise I'm not doing his project. I'm just not interested. Yeah, you tell him. Tell him he's gonna have to pay more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, hold there. I've got another call coming in. Steven Spielberg, darling. Oh, God, you've done this so many times before. Shut up. You've done this joke. Spielberg, darling. I'm not accepting it, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:00:27 What, you want me to be in Jurassic Park 7 or something? Because we won the award, it's gone to Paul's head and now he's getting calls from lots of celebrities. Well, Spielberg. 1980s. How much? 1980s based celebrities because that's as far as his fucking mind goes. 10 million for the role?

Starting point is 00:00:44 No deal. I have to get out of bed much earlier in the day. You can't think of anyone in the last 20 years who's famous. Lady Gaga, watch this. Hello Lady Gaga. That's 15 years ago. You want to do a US? She's been famous for 15 years, Paul. Uh...

Starting point is 00:00:58 Chapel Rhone. What's that one? Is she on the phone to you? Yeah, ring ring. She goes, do you want to do a song with me? Oh, I'd love to. Is she on the phone now? Yeah. Or she goes? I mean, I don't understand. She's on the phone to me now. She's on the phone to you now? Ring ring, yes, she's on the phone to me now. Hello, chapel. Can you tell her, can you say hello for me? What's that? Charisma Carpenter and you want to do a duet with me? Charisma Carpenter? Yeah, Charisma Carpenter. I know, maybe she's the actress from... Christina.

Starting point is 00:01:25 It's Christina. Charisma's the actress from the Buffy the Vampire series. An angel. Can we start again? Because it's really... Anyway, I'm going to have to turn you all down because we're the award-winning Cheap Show podcast. That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

Starting point is 00:01:38 Cheap Show's won something for the first time ever in its life. Apart from the World Cup of Comedy podcast. Oh, that, yeah. I've got that here, look. We've got two awards. Two awards. One award for you and one award for me. It's a little golden G that looks like an E as well.

Starting point is 00:01:54 That's the golden lobe for Grover, not a show reward. That's the one we won. Which I can never explain. My mum was like, what's that mean? And I was like, it's about an audience thing. Terrible name for it. Yeah, you got a bit penis. Why don't they just call it the love of the audience?

Starting point is 00:02:09 Love the audience. I don't know, but it basically means we're best cult podcast, isn't it? We're best cult podcast. We're best big boy cult top pod, top fucking mod pod called. No, that's exactly how I was going to explain it. Hey, who's the top boss cult pod round here. We are. I'm going to give him a Chelsea Smiler. We're the top, top, pod best podcast.

Starting point is 00:02:32 We're the top boss pod cult pod, pod, pod, pod, pod. You see now. I'm going to give him a Chelsea Smiler. That is now just nonsense coming out of your mouth. Scheherazade. You can't just stop the podcast I'm fucking on your legs mate, please. There's a draft in isn't there? No, there isn't I can see I can see you particular I've got a nice smart. I don't get a lot. I

Starting point is 00:02:58 Just want to say this then we'll crack on ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the award-winning cheap show podcast boss crack on. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the award-winning Cheap Show podcast. It's a top pod, boss pod. Top pod. Press the fucking credits. Paul Gannon, Eli Silverman. Welcome to Jeep Show. Sources and words and phrases. Two things I am responsible for. Chodney... Chodney Borough.

Starting point is 00:03:38 I hate you. I just got the usual coffee. Jeep Show tonight. Coffee. Cheap show to the momma mine. Cheap show to the momma mine. It's the price of shame. Cheap show to the momma mine. Welcome to Cheap Show.

Starting point is 00:04:02 I've got a question for you. Have you, darling? Yes. Go on. Who's the top boss? Bod Mod! Hey, let's start a question for you. Have you darling? Yes. Go on. Who's the top boss? Podmod! Hey, let's start a fish based podcast. No. Codpod. No, I'm not going to go along with this. If you could say I'm not going to go along with my opening gambit. It writes itself. I'm not going along with this. We could have different sections for different types of fish. This is a dead segment to me. This segment is dead. What dead segment? This sketch is dead. This segment is dead. The parrot. You're doing the parrot sketch now. Yeah. Everything is

Starting point is 00:04:29 a reference to things from 30 years ago with you. That's not true. I'm coming up with new stuff now Paul. It's clear this is the evidence. Somebody stop me! Smoking! I had a whole suite of things I just did right at the top of the pod. Yeah. The top boss of Cod Pod. Yeah, that's all you did though. That's fucking genius. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy com- oh fuck off. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy-

Starting point is 00:04:53 I'll do it. I'll do it. My voice is together and I can do it. Just do it then. Hello and welcome to Cheap Show, the economy pod- Let's see, fuck that. Now you're just going to say Cod Pod Pod for half an hour. No I'm not. Hello and welcome to Cheap Show, the economy- The Economy Podibu- See, fuck that. Now you're just going to say Cod Podbod for half an hour.

Starting point is 00:05:05 No I'm not! Hello and welcome to Cheap Show. The Economy- Why are you closing your eyes, Paul? Why are you closing your eyes? What's all that about? Are you so stupid that you can't- I was doing it then! To me. You were doing it to me. That's what you said to me last week. Can I just do it with my eyes closed, please?

Starting point is 00:05:21 Yes. Hello everybody and welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast for your ears. We go around the charity shops, bargain basements, jumble sales and discount stores of Britain and beyond to find treasure amongst the trash and bring it to you. And that is the format largely week in week out of of this award-winning, comedy, independent podcast. Can I just say Paul, multi award-winning. Multi award-winning. Oh, we used to have one.

Starting point is 00:05:51 One's good. We love one. One's lovely. But now we've got two. Two's special. Two's better than one. Two balances us out. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:05:58 We're best podcast and we're a good podcast. It's what we're great at. Well, thanks to the audience, should we say then, for being the growers. Yeah. Not the showers. That's what we're great at. Well, thanks to the audience, should we say, then, for being the growers and not the showers. That's what it comes down to. I'm trying to be sincere, and now you're doing a kind of stinky fart face thing. No, it's the hot, I'm hot. You keep going.

Starting point is 00:06:14 Do you know what helps? If you close your eyes and just ignore me while you're doing it. Oh, I'd love to do that. I'd love to just face away. I'm gonna face away. How about I just face away for you for the rest of this recording?

Starting point is 00:06:23 I like that. Yeah, you just look to the back of my head, which you're used to. Why? Because I'm bamming you constantly. No! Constant bamming. We're like bonobos. We're like a bonobo tribe. What does that even mean? We speak through the language of lovemaking. No, we don't! Yes, we do. That's what they do. Then instead of saying hello, hello mate, how you doing? They go, wake you off. They do! This is true but nobody's do this.

Starting point is 00:06:48 How do you ask for a cup of tea? Come round, ring drop Fingert the arsehole, cup of tea? Is that what you're saying? Basically yes Fingert the arsehole, cup of tea please Fungal chicks for that Two sugars, black lops Two lops, I'd like

Starting point is 00:07:03 And go into the post office and stuff, you know. Oh yeah. Oh, like that first class. Well, that's one little wank. Little nipple. Nibble tick. A nipple tick. Come on. Come on my eyes. Didn't nearly ready, is it? Come in my eyes. Anyway, what we got coming up on the show, Paul?

Starting point is 00:07:20 I don't care. Okay, so we're going to do a Paul's Pages turners. I've got two books we're going to investigate today, and then a Gans Golden Games where I've got an electronic game to play from the 1970s. Ah! And I think this thing looks beautiful. I don't care how shit the game ends up being, this looks beautiful. And I love it. It's almost as a piece of art. And we'll get to that later in today's show. Is it something you haven't kept from my night?

Starting point is 00:07:45 No, I've shown you this before. Well, what is it? Well, if I tell you now that it ruins the moment later when we introduce it, so let's just hold on to that. I can tell you between takes if you want when we stop. Could you open the window? I would, but you're going to scream Cod, Jod, Pod, Fod, Cod and people in the street are going to hear and think we're fucking mental.

Starting point is 00:08:00 I can't keep going like this. I'm sweating my arse off. Give it little breaks between the major segments. How about that? Stop complaining, all you do is complain. Please can't we just have some draught? A little bit, please. Oh, he's blowing his burp at me every time.

Starting point is 00:08:13 Yeah, that's a draught and flavour at the same time. And I need flavour draught. It is flavour country Eli Silverman is where you're going. Please crack the window, come on. It's 27 degrees or whatever today. Is it bollocks? Okay Google, how hot is it? Why is it in Fahrenheit? Why is it everything in Fahrenheit with you? I can't change it to Celsius. I don't know how. I mean I do know how but it doesn't work. Something has happened. You need help with that because

Starting point is 00:08:37 it's ridiculous. Okay Google, how hot in Celsius is 72 degrees Fahrenheit? Well said. 22.2. Well, it's still nothing to be sniffed at. Especially get hay fever, because then you'd be sniffing a lot. And I did get hay fever. You know what I do for hay fever? And now we hand over the travel. Eli on travel.

Starting point is 00:08:54 I came over, there was some disruption in the Haringey area. Yeah, kind of disruption. Well, I looked at my app, because I usually take the overground. You do. Down to... Gospel Oak to Gospel Oak, change, and get one to Finchley Road.

Starting point is 00:09:09 Which you do, and then you get onto the Metro from there. Down to the Finchley Road station and get on the Metro line. I like to do that. It's a good route. There's several reasons. It's a good route. There's a little walk in the middle of it. It's above ground.

Starting point is 00:09:19 It's above board. I like above ground. And also the other thing, it's very cheap. It's £2.10. It has gone up, but it's £2.10 from mine all the way to here in Harrow. Good deal, isn't it? That's a good deal for travel. But yet you say today there was disruption.

Starting point is 00:09:32 There was major disruption and I looked and I was about, I was on the bus going down to Haringey Green Lanes to try and get on that train and it said, next train, because I'd just like to check, you know. My will to live is going. And it said 118 minutes Oh, no till the next train for hello. I'm not all that interested. What's that? What's that? I thought the time 18 minutes would be a much shorter story. It's fine. That's the end of the story Paul Well, what was the disruption though? You didn't tell fire. Oh fire Nature's consuming wretched beast unsccrupulous, uncaring, all fall to fire.

Starting point is 00:10:08 I bring you to burn. Fire! Do you know what that's about? Crazy Arthur Brown's world of sausages or something. The crazy world of Arthur Brown. I was close enough wasn't I? He was big on the underground scene in London at the time. He was indeed. He used to set his head on fire didn't he?

Starting point is 00:10:23 He used to have an oil lamp essentially on his head and it was no aggressively dangerous thing to do. It was aggressively dangerous. He burnt his scalp on many occasions. You couldn't do that today, you could not. No. Do you know what that song Fire's about though? Err Love. VD. Is it about VD? Yes. I've heard him saying it. My balls were on fire. No. Do do do, I crack it open. No, that's not how that song goes. Thrush. Do do do. I thought it was a metaphor about cleansing things, you know, like fire.

Starting point is 00:10:54 Fire cleanses. My scrotum is cracked. I don't believe he wrote about VD for that song particularly. I think if you did hear that, that was him taking the piss. Fire. I'm on a couch, my scrotum, I'm scrotum! We're back to bonobo monkeys again. No, it's always, I always recount my one encounter with Thrush which was on a ski holiday.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Do you want to do that again then? Why not? I was on the coach and like getting on and off the coach and I'd sort of surreptitiously like the back of the seats. It was like a dog rutting on the carpet. Basically yeah. Sorry everyone. And it was very crispy my whole scrotal sack. Crispy like the skin was dry and broken. Yeah and it bleeds and itches.

Starting point is 00:11:34 And how long did it take to clean that up? It just it cleared up by itself. I don't think it was that bad an infection. Did you pass it on to anyone while you were there because you're a dirty bastard? Did you wear you a dirty bastard? Did someone rummage in your grundles and take home with them a dirty sticky prize? No. No?

Starting point is 00:11:51 You don't know that, do you? You don't know that. Did you have a dirty ski weekend and you passed on your grutty nuts to someone? Is that what you did? When you put it like that. Yeah. So someone went home from that ski trip after lemore with you and looked down to a foaming cobwebby mess of hellscape.

Starting point is 00:12:09 Now you're starting to turn my stomach. Clunge fudge. God. Award winning? Yeah, the award winning cheap show podcast. It's so warm in here. Clunge fudge. Oh, you have opened it?

Starting point is 00:12:21 Yeah, I have. And also, this is the time of day when the sun comes in through this window. If it was the other side of the house we recorded, we wouldn't have this problem. But unfortunately, them's the breaks when we're recording in the Harrow Haunted House on the hill. Yes. Well, we've had a lot of fun celebrating our win, but I think it's time we get on with the show. So how about we turn the page and we start doing Gannons at Paul's Page Turners? Paul Gannons Page Turners.

Starting point is 00:12:43 Paul's Precious Page Turners. Well, you don't need to change the name, it's just Paul's Page Turners. Paul Gannon's Page Turners. Paul's precious page turners. Well you don't need to change the name it's just Paul's page turners. Paul's page turners and Thea Turner. Oh dear. Bachmann Turner overdrive. Oh dear. No more. No I can't got anymore. Bangers and mash, bangers and mash, they're chimps or imps, there's no mistake. We've used this song on the show before for various boring stupid reasons. Their song? Yeah, Bangers and Mash by…

Starting point is 00:13:14 Chaz and Dave? Chaz and Dave, which was the theme tune to a kids show called Bangers and Mash, of the same name about two naughty monkeys. Early 80s are we talking here? Err, hang on, that's a good question. I believe it was. I think it might be Early 80s are we talking here? Er, hang on, that's a good question. I believe it was. I think it might be late 80s, early 90s. This book was first published in...

Starting point is 00:13:30 IX, so 89. Oh, is it late 80s? Yeah, it's in good condition. Anyway, so just to go back a bit, I went to Pinner, that charity shop I like to go to, the St. Luke's, so they always have odd little things there. Hospice-based charity shops have high funk levels, as we've discussed before. And I found two kids kids books that I really wanted to have a look at. One is this,

Starting point is 00:13:49 Ladybird, which is a famous kids book brand, which I presume is still going, right? Yes. They have a certain format for their books, don't they? They're kind of very slim, but hardcover. That's like their brand, isn't it? Ladybird. And I used to have loads of their ones when I was a really small kid. Did you have like, I tell you what, did you have like the fairy tales that were retold by Lady Bird? I believe I did.

Starting point is 00:14:10 And I had, yeah, Hans Christian Andersen, he did little abridged versions of those. Ugly Ducklings from Belina. That's right, I had those ones, yeah. The elves in the shoemaker, whatever it is. But the ones I seem to remember, the ones which had the kind of glossy, like this one, the glossy book bag.

Starting point is 00:14:22 This has a glossy cover. It's in brilliant condition. I've got Ghostbusters 2, the quote unquote novelization for kids version of this. It's great when you pair that whole film down to like 12 pages, what it just skips through. So there was those things. Puddle Lane. I had loads of Puddle Lane books. Do you ever remember Puddle Lane? Yes. Neil Lina's kids show.

Starting point is 00:14:41 I did never saw that. Again. He was a wizard and he lived on Pudalane with a dragon little puppet and they told stories. I remember the name again, but that was more late 80s, early 90s. Well, I'm showing my age difference because I would have been a bit older. I was five in 1980. So I remember stuff from that era, you know, which is sort of 10 years earlier, basically. The other big kids book publisher I remember was Puffin.

Starting point is 00:15:07 Mason Evers Puffin, yeah. Mason Evers Puffin, which was the kids imprint of Penguin, which is obviously a hugely successful book brand. Mason Evers But they were slightly more mature books, weren't they? Mason Evers Yes, but I had the Puffin Annuals are the most I've ever shown you, the number two. They're so like folk horror, the stuff we were discussing. Mason Evers Like we discussed earlier, we're like in that period.

Starting point is 00:15:26 Kids TV was folk horror-y, folklor-y. I think it goes from like 71 to all the way up to like early 80s. Yeah, definitely early 80s. That kind of kids media having that weird folkloric, that's the word you use, that folkloric resonance to it. And then video games came in and changed the landscape. And then after that, it was all Star Wars and Tron and whatever. But I would love to show you the Penguin, the Puffin annuals.

Starting point is 00:15:51 They are annuals. They're hard annual format. And they've got like stuff to do, kid stuff and stories and things. It's all extremely weird by like today's standards. Old bearded guys being really good friends with little girls. That kind of vibe. All that weird stuff where it's like it's totally fine for four kids from the local village to hang around with the creepy old man in the boot shoe house and he's got a magic pocket. You know what I mean? It's that kind of thing.

Starting point is 00:16:18 Well we've explored it ourselves on this very award-winning podcast with the multi-fibbage character. Indeed we have. We've dabbled in that genre. Which I enjoy it. Yeah, I do too. It's just a hard thing to pull off. Right, so bangers and mash is not a euphemism for a toilet packed with tissue roll and turds. That's the other thing I was going to mention.

Starting point is 00:16:35 That's from this, isn't it? Profanosaurus. Probably, I don't know. It might be one of those terms that was around for years and this was popularized. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Anyway, in this case it started off as an animated cartoon series on children's ITV in 1989 yeah I

Starting point is 00:16:50 was right you know and then it ran until about 1993 there was 25 five-minute episodes and a video game was even based on the show that was published in 92 I didn't know about that it sucks so it's created by Paul Groves and Edward McLaren I think Paul is the writer and Edward does the very particular art for Bangers and Mash, the two monkeys. It's cool. It's got a nice style. It's got a comic book scribble style to it, hasn't it? Bangers and Mash are two troublemaking chimpanzees. They want to have fun, cause grief and get into trouble on their island, which is like an island full of trees with houses, like Donkey

Starting point is 00:17:24 Kong basically. Tree houses. Yeah, like Donkey Kong, basically. Donkey Kong country. Tree houses. Yeah, like tree houses. Are there other monkeys in the society they live in, or is it other? Yeah, there is. Like, that's it, on the inside cover of the book.

Starting point is 00:17:32 They're grown-up monkeys. Like, parent monkeys. Oh, I love this artwork. I have to say, the inside covers have these tree houses, and the trees are very stout, and they're just sort of sitting in this, you know? But they're very, kind of, middle England England semi-detached houses kind of drawing in a tree.

Starting point is 00:17:49 There's a ghost, but that's the story, isn't it? This is why I picked that book and the other book that I've got as well, because they were both spooky ghost themed. And yeah, so that's it in a nutshell. The theme tune was by Chaz and Dave, which I think is a banger track anyway. And then the series was narrated by Jonathan Kidd. Who's that guy? He's been in One Foot in the Grave and Smith and Jones and he voiced the cult Ferrero Rocher, Ambassador's reception advert.

Starting point is 00:18:14 He voiced that? Now that is a claim to fame. Yeah, he is obviously not the lady who goes, oh, with these Ferrero Rocher, you are spoiling us. No, but he's the guy at the ambassador's banquet. Blah, blah, blah, blah. He's got one of those voices, you know, sort of a little bit smoky, a little bit deep. He was the voice of Palantin Bear in 1997, and between 2016 and 2020, he voiced Big Ears, Scurvy, Noddy in Toyland, some detective thing. He's done loads of animated stuff, basically, it seems. A voice actor, a British voice actor. The Beano cartoons video as well.

Starting point is 00:18:45 His mother's called Pinky. What do you mean his mother's called Pinky? This Jonathan Kidd guy. Pinky Kidd? Yeah. That's his mom's name. Pinky. P-I-K-I-E.

Starting point is 00:18:54 Pinky Kidd. And was one of England's first female advertising copywriters. And also played table tennis 11 times for England. She was the World Doubles finalist in 1949. Pinky Kid. Pinky Kid. I'm the Pinky Kid. Is that why she was called?

Starting point is 00:19:09 Yeah. She was called Pinky Kid. I'm not making this up for- Pinky Kid. Pinky Kid. Pinky Kid. Pinky Kid. Pinky, pinky, pinky, pinky, pinky, kid.

Starting point is 00:19:16 Pinky Kid. So I thought what I'd like is Eli will read you now, bangers and mash. But here we go. here's Eli Silverman reading bangers and mash, ghost boast. ["Bangers and Mash"] I ain't a kid and you them tokey monkey and about they do But bangers are mash, bangers are mash All they wanna do is have some fun They never mean to do no harm but you can guarantee They're loved in the apple cold though accidentally

Starting point is 00:19:54 Mash and bangers, clangers come about quite frequently Whalum, whalum, whal street, Chimpton, where Bangers and Mash live with Mum, Dad and Gran. The cheeky chimpanzees were out. They'd gone to play in the squelchy mud down by the pond. Lovely mud! said Bangers. I like the voice. Lovely mess! said Mash. Yeah, alright, that'll do. I like people like that. They were soon covered in mud.

Starting point is 00:20:37 When it was time to go home, they decided to take some back with them. They sloshed it into their buckets and set off. Oh no! It was a good job that mum couldn't see them. She wouldn't have been very pleased. She's been fucked off. As Bangers and Mash were carrying the mud home along came their friend. Oh. Petal. Petal, hello. Bangers says she is called Petal because she is like a flower. A cauliflower. Oh that's not nice. Mash says she's like a flower too. A bag of plain flour.

Starting point is 00:21:08 They're very mean. When they got to number three tree street, they all settled down on the step to make mud pies. Unfortunately, they dropped one just as Gran was walking along the path. Oh, not Gran. It hit her on the head and slopped down her face. Give me my gran," said Bangers. Ladies put mud on their faces to make them beautiful. Oh, naughty.

Starting point is 00:21:30 Mum didn't want Gran to have beauty treatment. No. Go and tell her you're sorry, she shouted. Clean the mud off the step, have a wash, then go and play somewhere else and make sure it's a nice, clean game. So Bangers and Mash and Petal said sorry to Gran. They washed the mud off their hands and faces and rode their bikes down to the pond. But they completely forgot to clean the step. There were mud pies all over it. Dirty.

Starting point is 00:21:55 The chimps reached the muddy pond. There was a little house on the other side of the reed made from a bit of old drainpipe. It was the home of Mrs. Snitchnose. Snitchnose! Mrs. Snitchnose was a witch and she didn't like the chimps. No. But that didn't bother Bangers and Mash. Let's pay her a visit, said Bangers. They're gonna get into trouble now.

Starting point is 00:22:14 So Bangers, Mash and Petal rode round and round the witch's house calling her names. I bet some of it was rude. Mrs. Snitchnose soon lost her temper. I'll teach them, she said and reached for her broomstick Oh God, it's going down the chimps peddled off as fast they could mrs. Snitch knows taxied down her runway She gained speed lifted up her underskirt. She was off I can see mrs. Snitch noses the snatch I can see Mrs. Snitch-nose is- Snatch! Snatch!

Starting point is 00:22:43 Snitch-nose is snatched! Oh! Fuck me! On the runway! Mrs. Snitch-nose is snatched! Oh! I can get the whiff as she lifts off! Big broom poking up between the hill eggs!

Starting point is 00:22:53 Oh, she's doing a whole camel toe thing with her fucking broom! First Petal was in the lead, then Bangers, then Mash, then Mrs. Snitch-nose nearly caught them, but the road forked suddenly, and Bangers and Mash turned left and Petal turned right. Oh no, don't ban them Petal. That confused Mrs Snitch-Nose. She went straight on and lost in the trees.

Starting point is 00:23:13 And got lost in the trees. In the end she went into reverse and flew back to her house. Gave up. Bangers and Mash were in for a spell of trouble now. Yeah, why, what's she up to? That night when they were safely tucked up in bed, Mrs Snitch-nose flew off to the gloomy old house that only witches know about There she made a spell A wobbly white ghost came out of the floorboards!

Starting point is 00:23:34 Mate, this is like necromancy in a kids show The ghost rode behind Mrs. Snitchnose all the way to number 3 tree street It's like Satanism involved She put it down on the doorstep and told it what to do Well she's a witch, yeah Yeah, but it's just poppy. It's demons into it. She's bringing fucking it's a skinwalker Get in through the letter box. She said go upstairs and frighten those two naughty chimps. Oh Sniggered the ghost I'll frighten them out of their skins So the wobbly white ghost got ready to slither through the

Starting point is 00:24:06 lettle box. Get my wobbly white ghost, get my slithery wewthery white ghost. Spook. Roy J wrote this. What are spooks and slithering? I don't understand. It must have been in the cultural atmosphere at the time. Yeah. Crash! It slipped on the mud pies at Barrow and Mash and forgotten to clean up! The non-comporeal spirit slipped on the mud pies that Banger and Mash had forgotten to clean up! The non-comporeal spirit slipped on something tangible. It banged its head on the front door. Uh oh, it moans! But the chimps stayed fast asleep. They don't know what's going on.

Starting point is 00:24:34 The ghost flew up to the roof. It squeezed down the chimney and slid down into the kitchen. There on the table was a pile of banana sandwiches. Bangers had made them in case they needed a midnight snack. Oh well, that's what I like to do. The greedy ghost couldn't resist banana sandwiches. Twat. But bangers hadn't bothered to peel the bananas.

Starting point is 00:24:53 The skins gave the ghost a very bad tummy ache. This is just one thing after another. This ghost is breaking and entering at this point. Also, if it's a ghost... It's got a bad tummy ache. It's a ghost and it slips on the stairs and has to go in the house via the chimney. What, it's meant to go through walls and shit. Perhaps there's some kind of reveal at the end where it's actually a big load of com.

Starting point is 00:25:13 Oh, oh, oh, it moaned. Not from coming, from having a tummy ache. What's that? Said Bangers waking up. Nothing, said Mash. Go back to sleep. When it felt a bit better the ghost crept upstairs. There were bangers and Mash lying fast asleep. Uh oh. Paul stop. The ghost stuck its chest out and cleared its throat. Don't do it stop. At last it was ready to do some haunting. Uh oh. The ghost decided to give Mash the first fright. It slid into his bed and settled down, but there was a hot water bottle in the bed.

Starting point is 00:25:49 Oh, oh, oh! It moaned, leaping up, but Bangers and Mash stayed fast asleep. It's like Home Alone with a ghost. It is. Now ghosts do not like hot things. No. They do not. It leapt out of the bed and hovered in the air.

Starting point is 00:26:04 It turned round to look over its shoulder and it could just see a big burn on its bottom! Oh bonk on the head, burn on the bottom, belly full of badness. It's got a green belly ache and a red bottom burn. Red bottom burn. The ghost was now in a very bad temper. Oh dear, he's going to tear him apart. It went to Mrs Snitchnose's house and said, Just look at me, yolo! So Mrs Snitchnose's house and said, Just look at me, hello! So Mrs. Snitchnose looked.

Starting point is 00:26:27 She fucking iced him. The ghost seemed very colourful. On its head was a big purple bump, that came from falling on the step. There was a green patch on its tummy, that came from eating the banana skins. Its bottom glowed red. That came from sitting on the hot water bottle.

Starting point is 00:26:41 Twat. I give in, said the ghost. I want my beauty sleep. And it climbed. It's basically saying kill me. Oh, it's raining now. It's raining. It's really coming down now.

Starting point is 00:26:52 Wow, that's proper cloudburst style. It is, isn't it? And it climbs straight into Mrs. Snitch's nose bed. Hang on, we're going to get some fucking action here. What, the ghost has gone into her bed? Yeah. Right. What's it?

Starting point is 00:27:03 Is she in the bed with him? She said, oh, she said oh she said you're very colorful She's coming onto it knows his snack as we know if you can bang his head and eat banana skins He can fucking fuck he can fuck he can fuck missy snitch knows She's a mouse that pretty well know that mrs. Snitch knows is a mouse Fucking mouse. Oh, it is a mouse. yeah. That wasn't made explicit in the text. Well, split the mouse in half with his big ghost cock. Oh, mate.

Starting point is 00:27:28 It makes the fragrance of Fanny as she flies overhead even more fragrant. Oh, oh, mouse quim. Oh, in the air. Oh, mouse quim. I'm just going to let you do this and embarrass yourself after exhaustion. As if I'd be embarrassed by this. You should be. I like the whiff of Oxo-like mouse quimz. Alright so just to recap he's about to get in bed because he wants his beauty sleep. Yeah. That's what he says. Yeah get out of the bed. That's my bed said

Starting point is 00:27:59 Mrs Snitchnose. Not tonight it isn't answered the ghost. Yeah, but where am I to sleep? Cried the witch who's also a mouse by the way, just remember that on the floor the ghost rubbed its purple Bruce yeah, stroked its green tummy and patted it red button bottom Then it stretched stretched his fucking its fucking arse all over. Alright, okay, now we've gotten past the point of just reading the story now. No, it's fine. Then it stretched out in the bed, gave a snore, Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:36 and fell fast asleep. Mrs. Snitchnose was furious. I bet she slept on the floor. Back at number 3, Tree Street, if you remember that's where our heroes- We were all at our hero's sleep. I don't know, the ghosts had a lot of bloody time in this book. Yeah, they were still fast asleep They didn't even wake up for their midnight snack. I did that. Why would you just a waste of bananas? Later that night a strange noise did wake bangers, but only for a moment. Where was it? He's squeaked only the duck on the pond muttered match go to sleep

Starting point is 00:29:03 Later on another eerie noise woke mash, but only for a second What was it? He whispered this is padding now only an hour. He's over It's almost that last page. This is party This is it only an owl hooting mermaid bangers go to sleep and he did but mrs. Snitch knows didn't get a wink of sleep all night Well, it's not very nice. Is it having to sleep on the floor? Did it in a little bit of a kiss of, bangers and mash, those chimps are hims, they're naughty lads, bangers and mash, bangers and mash. I wouldn't say it's a classic of children's literature. Does the job though doesn't it? Not really,

Starting point is 00:29:35 there's no if nothing happens. Anyway if you want to introduce Cheap Show to your kids, pull this segment out of the podcast and let them have a listen to it before bed tonight. My favourite bit Paul, what was your favourite moment in the story? I think it was when he slipped into a bed and he got his cock burns on the hot water bottle. I liked when Mrs Snitchnose flew overhead with her fanny all in the air. A dirty, mind you, mouse fanny. And they were pee-peeing all the time.

Starting point is 00:30:01 So little flecks of like fucking red hot mouse, which you were flicked by her beefy blumange. Where are you? Beefy blumange. Mine knew beefy blumange. Mrs. Snickernose's beefy blumange. Snitch nose. Snitch nose, snitch nose snatch beefy blumange.

Starting point is 00:30:21 Right, now it's on to the second book. The rain's coming down. Well it stopped. Has it stopped already? Yeah, that's why they said it was a warning of flash flooding, but the actual forecast didn't have any rain. But the vibe has changed, it's gone from a warm sultry day to a volatile, sticky day. Yeah, it was pretty sticky all day.

Starting point is 00:30:43 Yeah, and now it's sticky and wet. And now it's sticky in my pants after I've come in my pants. The way you just resigned yourself to saying that was kind of tragic. Alright fine. It's what you've done to me man. You always go there. You always go there. I'm gonna put this to you. I'm gonna say all I did was open the door for you to come free and let it all out which was already naturally there. Because there were so many times in Cheap Joe history where unwarranted, you just burst into a weird fucking miasma of word goo. The number of times you have put vaginas on people's heads or faces or many vaginas on

Starting point is 00:31:19 faces is easily double figures. Double figures, vagina face? Yeah. You could double figure. I mean there's lots to break down psychologically. You could double figure someone's vagina face. You could as well, but psychologically there's a lot to break down there. It is time for our second book, and this one was in the same charity shop I got in Pinner, and this is something that I saw at libraries when I was a kid, but never got for myself.

Starting point is 00:31:43 I don't know if you knew what these were, but this is an Osborne puzzle adventure, The Haunted Tower. I never saw these, although I had the Osborne compendium of supernatural ones. It had ghosts, it had like unexplained or something, you know? I had the ghost one was one of my favourite books as a kid and it used to terrify me. Especially the photos, they had a page of photos. Like of the monk on the staircase. The one, you know the one that I can see it right now in my mind's eye. The ghost in the back of the taxi. That one.

Starting point is 00:32:13 That is scary isn't it? Yeah, I mean I think it's definitely like, pareidolia. But when you look at it, it does look like someone with glowing eyes sat in the back seat of a taxi. So, hang on, do I, have I got that somewhere? Found it. The Ghost, that's the one I had. Now this one, the classic. It's a reprint.

Starting point is 00:32:31 Yes. It was re-released a few years ago to celebrate. Because it was like a big crowdfunded thing, wasn't it? So back in the day, Osborne were known for kind of like science and education books for kids with lots of drawings and you know, it was all about science, or then it went into UFOs and then Ghosts. It was kind of a bit of everything they had like three

Starting point is 00:32:45 of these yeah world of the unknown that's the series yeah and this is the ghosts which must have been their bestseller I mean that's what must have been everyone brought back this that's why they brought this one back this is so everything about this just gives me a huge nostalgia thing the way I love these illustrations yeah they're very vivid, they're very... Well, going back... Who is this artist? Was it one guy who did all of these paintings? I can't remember now, but it's probably a few different artists to be fair. I might

Starting point is 00:33:12 be wrong on that. They're so brilliant. The illustrations are, I would say, just world class. I love... I'm just flicking for it now. This is one of the most familiar things of all time to me. Well, this is the thing. To me, this is Moreon Library. I would go there and get the ghost books out and stuff like that, and this was the one I would always get out every other month. The haunted house. That's the haunted house, yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:32 This is what informed, this is like, because it's before I was allowed to watch horror films, or seen a lot of horror films, I was obsessed. I was obsessed as a young teenager, like 11, 12, with that kind of thing. Oh lightning You see the light here comes the thunder. That's what I say to Yeah, your girlfriend snick or nose whatever name snitch snitch snitch snitch snitch snitch nose. Yeah, it's not just snitch nose There you go. It's a few miles off. It's been moving around. Yeah moving around. I

Starting point is 00:34:03 Love this haunted house has all the things you can see in the haunted house. But that's not what we're here to discuss, though. No, it's not. But I think an offshoot of these books were these Osborne puzzle adventures where you kind of got a story and then at the same time you got a mystery. So every single page had a puzzle for you to solve before you could move on to the next part of the story. Wow.

Starting point is 00:34:23 I never saw those. Do you remember them from the time? No, not at all. I mean, they may have been in the library. This is the thing I would have not engaged with because I wanted to rent out the ghost book again or one of those Hans Zaltzer books, whatever it is he's got. Anyway, that guy. So I've just looked up, again, Wikipedia, apologies. The Puzzle Adventure book series from Osborne was first created in 1984 with the release of Escape from Blood Castle. Again, past my time really.

Starting point is 00:34:47 Yeah. The first- Oh hang on, hang on. I'd be nine, so not past my time. Who would have been in your- Totally in my wheelhouse, but I didn't- I'd never saw them, but don't remember seeing them. They're not as good as the Ghost one, are they? Well, they're a different market altogether.

Starting point is 00:35:01 The first three volumes of the series were originally released as Usborne, Solve It Yourself. Each book contained a vivid illustrated story with a plot related puzzle to solve on each double page. The series' success inspired the creation of three related series, Advanced Puzzle Adventures, Young Puzzle Adventures and Science Puzzle Adventures. Science Puzzle Adventures. And then yeah, and I've got what the one I've got here is the 11th in the series by Suzanne Allais drawn by Brenda Ha 1989 it's called the haunted tower. Yeah

Starting point is 00:35:31 And I had a quick spin through this before and it is it's like a soft entry level choose your own adventure That's what I was gonna say Except rather than you choosing the path of the story It's more like each page is part of the story that you need to solve to read on. Yeah. Right. You don't have to. You don't have to.

Starting point is 00:35:49 It's got all the answers and clues. You didn't have to do that and choose your own adventures either, did you? No. This one, what I like about this book is two little affectations which make it unique. Obviously it was a charity shop find. So it was once owned by a child called Paul Halligan.

Starting point is 00:36:02 And on the back he's put a Bart Simpson sticker that says coming at ya man. So this might have been from like 1990, 1991 this sticker. Oh I like it when there's stuff on it. You know and it's old Simpsons drawing where it's a little bit kind of unsettling. Wow that is ancient, this has been so well preserved. It must have been in a box, you know what I mean, with other books on either side of it keeping it flat because it's in very good condition. Yes.

Starting point is 00:36:23 And I thought on the back, oh here's what it says on the back. Osborne actually, because we were talking about children's book publishers of that era. Yeah. Another one aren't they? Of what? Like Lady Bird, like Penguin, Puffin. Let me just quickly read what Wikipedia says. Sorry to be one of those podcasts but here we go. Often called Osborne Books, it's a British publisher of children's books,

Starting point is 00:36:43 so specifically children. Peter Osborne in 1973 began his publishing company with in-house teams of writers, editors and designers. One of its sales channels is The Books at Home, a multi-level marketing operation found in 1981. Oh wow. And then they got, I think they got sold in America through HarperCollins. Okay.

Starting point is 00:37:01 And then it just kind of said what the books were they did. So it's kind of a particularly auspicious start. That multi-level marketing sounds a bit like a pyramid scheme. A little bit, yeah. At least there's books rather than like, I don't know, Goji berry products. So I thought we'd have a crack at the first puzzle in this to see if you could solve it. Now I read this and I had a go of it myself and I 90% got it right. I was just wrong on one little fact which would have been,

Starting point is 00:37:25 like I thought I got the answer right, but my method was a little bit wrong. Okay, do I need a pen and paper for this? No, I think you can. Okay, I'll do it in my head then. But I'll read the first chapter out. All right then. All right then, I'm gonna do it.

Starting point is 00:37:35 Ladies and gentlemen, this is The Haunted Tower by Osborne Puzzle Adventures. No, it's by. Yeah, by Osborne Puzzle Adventures. No, it's by the woman's name at the bottom. By Susanna Lee by Usborne Puzzle Adventures. No, it's by the woman's name at the bottom. By Susanna Lee by Usborne Puzzle Adventures. Fuck's sake. Haunted Tower is a ghostly tale of mystery and suspense which takes Charlie, Nick and

Starting point is 00:37:54 Ali to Spectre's Isle on a ghostly tower. Here, their search for a legendary ghost leads them into a perilous plot and a quest for phantom treasure. Let us begin! About this book, The Haunted Tower is a spooky adventure story with a difference. The difference is that you can take part in the adventure, you, Eli in this case. I don't want to, I just want to listen to the story. No you're going to have to get involved. Don't be passive.

Starting point is 00:38:23 I don't want to. These books are about being engaging and using your brain. Can I take part by... I know this is gonna sound funny, yeah? Yeah. This is gonna involve your dick. No, my poo! Put poo in the book. Poo in the book. I would rather have your dick in a book, honestly. Poo then dick. I will settle for dick and then we could talk about poo if the mood's right? I like talking about right Throughout the book. There are lots of ghostly puzzles and perplexing problems that you must solve it or in order Perplexing problems, but then he I know

Starting point is 00:38:58 The normal bit in order to solve the next part the story Look at the pictures carefully and watch for out for vital clues. Sometimes you'll need to flick back through the book to help you find an answer. Flick back, flick, flick. Sometimes you'll need to flick back through the book to help you find an answer. There are clues on page 43 and you can check your answers on 44 to 48.

Starting point is 00:39:20 Let's begin. Nick and Ali were visiting their cousin Charlie at the seaside town of Port Snorrum for the first time. And there's a little picture there of Charlie and Ali and Nick and they're all meeting in the nice little port town. Right, Snorrum Seafront. Now you pay attention.

Starting point is 00:39:38 Charlie, Nick and Ali were busy slurping ice creams on the first afternoon of their holiday in Port Snorrum. Ali pointed at a dark, wooden island on which stood a tall, mysterious tower. Wooded island, not Wooden Island. She wondered what it was called. It's called Wooden Island. That's Spectre's Isle, said Charlie. They say the tower's haunted by a ghostly pirate called Captain Swashbuckle.

Starting point is 00:40:07 He built the tower hundreds of years ago and there he planned his daring sea voyages. Then, one night, his ship hit a reef on the island and it sank without trace. The legend says an incredible hoard of treasure was lost with Swashbuckle and his crew, but it was never found. Now Swashbuckle and his crew, but it was never found. Now Swashbuckle's ghost is said to haunt the tower.

Starting point is 00:40:30 Nick peered through the beach telescope for a closer look and gasped in amazement. He could scarcely believe his eyes. Could the legend be true? And then there's an image there of what he's seeing through the telescope and there's a figure in the tower. Oh there is someone in the tower. Oh here's your first puzzle. All right. The way to Sceptre's Isle was the tower haunted. Nick and Ali could hardly wait to investigate but they had to find a way to Spectre's Isle. No one ever goes there, Charlie said nervously. Besides it's impossible. Ali asked some of the locals and was told there was a causeway across to the island, but it was usually flooded. The rest of the information was very puzzling, but when Charlie checked the tides and Nick looked at her diary, they realised they could reach the

Starting point is 00:41:14 island at a certain time of day. Your challenge now is to look at the information on this page and find the way across the causeway. Now, they speak to one lady and she says this, Oh of course, only at low tide can you reach the haunted isle. A gentleman reading a newspaper says, Only cross when the moon is at its roundest. And then a third person says, You can't be wanting to go to the haunted isle, tis a bad place. The home of evil ghosts and ghouls, why? The last person who ever ventured there was never seen again. That's the guy did it. That's the detail. The mask off that guy.

Starting point is 00:41:49 That's what we don't know yet. Just solve this puzzle. That's all you need to do, right? So I'm going to hand you the book and you tell me what you see. You've got to figure out how they get across the causeway. Now we've got great Snorrum tide times on the left, Paul, for neighboring towns plus or minus minutes as shown. So you've got great grunge bee. Yeah good for a night out. Yeah cuz you get

Starting point is 00:42:11 your fucking cock wanked off into some birds mouth. Alright come on. Horrible. Sorry. Oh I'm horrible I'm gross. Yeah go on. And you've got that's plus 49 minutes to the tides And then you got slime bag bay This is just good for a night out. Yeah, of course because you get slimy all slimy quims up your nose slime bag bay That was like track box voice. She did there Port Snorrum Minus 12. Oh, that's ports. Norham. Where are we? We're going to import snorrum. You're on put your in boys It great snorrum. Now we're in great. Well, then it's called great snorrum then. Yeah, fair enough

Starting point is 00:42:54 Fuck you know, you said it wrong. I was just saying Port snorrum is on this. Yes, and great snorrum. They're two different places. Get it. All right Well, then yeah figure out which one it is then. Fuck sake, mate. You specky prick. Fuck you. Come on. Bilge waters as well as another place. Yeah, that's good for an eye out.

Starting point is 00:43:12 The rule complains my man. As. Okay, and then there's these three people. And then there's also one of our characters has a little diary, a little diary. June, Monday, 7th is Ali. Monday, Monday, 7th of June. Yeah. 17th of June. Oh, and it's got Monday 7th of June. Yeah. 17th of June. Oh, and it's got a little moon by it.

Starting point is 00:43:28 Yeah. The thing of the moon. Yeah. Monday 17th, half moon, is Ali's birthday. Yeah. Tuesday 18th, sports day, egg plus spoon race. Yeah. Remember egg.

Starting point is 00:43:41 Always remember egg. What about remembering spoon? What about fucking remembering spoon true? Maybe they always end up spoons the eggs fucking Inconsistencies is that the clue they've already packed the the spoons That's why they're already worried about the eggs, you know, if you're worried about have not having a hand free In terms of egg and spoon you can always pop the egg

Starting point is 00:44:06 spoon you can always pop the egg. It's a good way to carry it. Can you try and figure this out? I'm not convinced you can solve this kid's book puzzle. It's a good way to carry an egg? Yes. Okay thank you. At least you've... It's a good way to carry an egg. Have you ever got hands free? I'm gonna ask you now quite sternly to fucking shut up and solve the book. Alright! Fucking hell. So read the diary. I am. Wednesday 19th. I owe John three gobstoppers. I bet you do.

Starting point is 00:44:31 Sounds like something else, doesn't it? I bet you do. Sorry. Hahahaha. Stop it! I didn't know this book was gonna trigger every single filthy thought in your head. Thursday 20th. Hahahaha. This is like watching a man have a breakdown. Tiki to Vets. What's gonna trigger every single filthy thought in your head Thursday 20th?

Starting point is 00:44:48 This is like watching a man have a breakdown Tiki must be their cat or something. Yeah, I did 21st full moon, right? Yeah Ah, yeah, only at low tide can you reach the halted only cross when the moon is at its roundest that is full moon Okay, so snorrum holiday begins meet Charlie 4 p.m. Well, that's what they're doing. Yeah them now Oh and coming up Saturday 22nd mom's birthday Sunday 23rd is the day that they're gonna buy a kite for some reason what happened 21st Snorrum holiday begins meet Charlie 4 p.m Okay, what happened on the 22nd mom's birthday. Okay, alright, fine. Okay, go on. What are you talking about? I thought you'd skip one, that was the one.

Starting point is 00:45:27 I was trying to get a clarification for the audience. I did not skip one. Fine, go on. Don't look at me disdainfully when you've just been fucking having multiple mental breakdowns. I'm not having a mental breakdown, Paul. My mind is fine. It looks like you're even going to start crying or start hysterically laughing. French homework for...do you know what their French teachers called?

Starting point is 00:45:46 You do because you read it before. Ms Tickler. No. I don't know, I can't remember. Monsieur Gallic. Oh great stuff. Miss R. Wow. Monsieur a bit racist, huh? Katie Crayfish Cozy Coffee Corner. Ah yes. When can they cross then? What time of day can they cross? Now someone's reading the newspaper, another clue here. It's not, I'll save you time, it's not. The paper has nothing to do with it. That is the 21st, I'm just saying. Yeah. It's just saying, I'm just saying it's another. Signify that it's the day the 21st. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. All right. Now I have to, they want to be crossing today. Yeah tide because it is the full moon today it is today yeah so cross when the moon is at its roundest which is today yeah

Starting point is 00:46:31 only low tide so low tide in where are they there it tells you on the page before where they actually meet if that helps and gives you clarification are they a great snorrum it tells you near the bottom of that first page right there at Port Snorrum so what does you near the bottom of that first page. Right, they're at Port Snorrum. So what does that mean? Minus 12 minutes as shown. So, low tide on the 21st is 12.04. Right?

Starting point is 00:46:56 Minus, minus for Port Snorrum 12 minutes. Which would make it 11.52. Wrong. No! That's not what I'm doing. All right, go on. So think about it. They've arrived at four o'clock on the 21st. So they've already missed low tide, right? Because that was 12 o'clock in the afternoon.

Starting point is 00:47:15 So you have to look at tomorrow's date. The first one they can go at midnight because it's 0012. And you have to take 12 minutes away. Yes, because it's midnight. and you have to take 12 minutes away yes because it's midnight so you are correct it is midnight there you go Eli which is very like ghostly yeah yeah yeah so that's but every puzzle no i did i did the exact same mistake as you yeah you just forgot that they'd missed they know i should i was thinking but they're there at 4pm but then then i forgot yeah i was doing it it got me the next page is like a maze you draw a line across the rocks to get to the castle.

Starting point is 00:47:46 This one's got a weird little puzzle where you've got to decode a letter to find out what the ghost says. So every page is a different kind of like put the road sign together. It's quite cool and quite well illustrated and made. And it makes me sad because no children don't get puzzle books anymore or any kind of book. I mean, these kind of things, these kind of games have moved online really. You could argue games like you know Professor Layton on the DS is like this.

Starting point is 00:48:13 Yes. In fact that's exactly what this is. Word games, little things. And that was for all kids and families and things. So you see what I'm saying it's now become more video game but the charm of the book. I'm saying that there was a whole industry of stuff that was distractions for kids. It's all become just... It's just moved elsewhere. That's all it is.

Starting point is 00:48:30 I think the culture's worse these days. Oh, shut up. It's different. Stop being an old prick, cunt, and ugly. Stop being ugly. See, you couldn't... Anyway, which one of the... That was good, wasn't it? That bit was good. It's not about me thinking it was good. I'm just expressing my truth. Right. Expressing your truth? Yeah. was good, I'm just expressing my truth.

Starting point is 00:48:51 Right. Expressing your truth? Yeah, my truth is I loathe the sight of you. That's your truth, is it? Bangers and Mash. Oh fucking good. Ghost post, out of five Eli, how many pages are you turning over? Four. Four pages turning over that. And Haunted Tower, how many pages are you turning over for that? 4.5. Yeah, I would go with three for bangers and mash and then four. I like that one I like those as born things. Yeah, lovely fun. What why have you gone slack? George? It's just so hot Isn't it? So you have a little break then let's take a little break then would you like a little break then you've exerted yourself Because you kept on doing rude words and fanny gun stuff. I wasn't doing any of that. Do you want to go through the book again? When you read out the town titles and lost your fucking mind. Shall we? Shall I just say Slimebag Bay?

Starting point is 00:49:33 Ah, it's good for a night out there. Great Grungeby. Oh, fucking, I've got a case of the Earpies. I'll tell you what, I met this girl the other day, they called her the Great Grungeby. Why did they? Four minutes at a time. Loaded off the shirt, like a trough, a fuck trough. God, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:49:51 That's uncalled for. That is uncalled for. Award winning podcast, Jeep Show. There's a guy down the street who's around the down the street, who's, around the corner, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, Golden Lobes, it's Gannon's Golden Lobes Award, Gannon's Golden Lobes Award, it's Gannon's Golden Lobes Award.

Starting point is 00:50:26 I think the audience's award, they're the growers, not the showers. We show and grow. We're a part of the growing process. Anyway, award time, Paul Gannon, the award winning Cheap Show podcast is now happy to deliver the Gannon's Golden Games segment of the show, where I pull out a game that I consider golden from the past in some respect, and we have a little bit of a play of it. Hence, Gannon's Golden Games, it's Gannon's Golden Games, a here-y-o, a dare-y-o, it's Gannon's Golden Games. Flangela plop plops.

Starting point is 00:50:55 Flangela plop plops. Flangela plop plop. A-vangela plop plop. A flangela plop plop. I've got my flingy flange and it's drippin' down the stairs flangella flangella, and it's dripping down the stairs, and it's going round the corner, and it's saying hello there. It's a big flangella man, and it's dripping all around, and I smell the fish in the air. Oh, it's like a pond, the pond. That's enough now. That is literally enough now.

Starting point is 00:51:19 The flangella man came in the flangella man here in this go no up to fleet you mean a baby He's just gone full swedish chef everyone. I don't know what to do about it Oh the flangemanic Amy the fleet you mean a key This is the polite request for me to ask you to stop doing that the second it be? What will it be? Woo! Oh no! Paul's going to discipline me! What's he gonna do? Oh he's got the water. No! Don't drip drop! No! Don't get the f- don't- Do you wanna bathe? Or do you wanna get a wet hair? Let's go sit down I'm ready to play. Okay? You're fucking straightening on thin water mate.

Starting point is 00:52:02 Oh the flanchy man though. You know what I do wish though, Paul? No, honestly, just to be serious for a second. Do you know what I do wish? What? Some witch that's a mouse would fly overhead with an unwashed quim. Don't play the Noodleoodle man. Noodleoodleman. Aaaaaah!

Starting point is 00:52:24 Telephone. Horse's head. Horse's head. Can you stop please? Can we play the... This isn't good. This is at least I was doing something. This is just listening to some old ad which we've had on the show before. Why are you playing this?

Starting point is 00:52:40 ABC. Here's a rocket. And number three. A key, a cup and a playing it. I will fucking kill you. You will fucking kill me? I was just saying about Mouse's fanny flying overhead, which is Mouse's fanny. I played that. It's affected me. I played that music. Oh, you played it? To centre you. To centre me? To centre you. I'm centred. You're not though. I've got a heart of hearts. I'm centred, mate. You're not centred. We'll see. We've already heard. You've cut off your fucking rocker. Dial it in. This is a segment of the show I treat very seriously,

Starting point is 00:53:23 like you would treat your saucers or your noodles, right? This is to me as valuable as a noodle. That's why I did this theme tune for you. Yeah, and then you went all on Fannity Grunge time, didn't you? Don't start that on Fannity Grunge time stuff. It's got to mean with you. It's just like whatever triggers your fucking feverish fucking rat brain. Rats like a mouse like snitch missus Right the thunder in the air. It's a sweaty room, and you're bringing this to unnecessary lengths

Starting point is 00:53:53 Oh, that's what she fucking told me right we are playing unnecessary Mate no way mate jokes apart. No one's ever said that to you and no one ever will I've come to terms with that right we are Mate, jokes apart, no one's ever said that to you. And no one ever will. I haven't had anything. I don't need you to come to terms with that. Right, we are... Oh, I've lost me fucking thing now, you bastard. I had a window open. We are playing today a game by Peter Pantoise,

Starting point is 00:54:15 and it is an electronic version of the TV show, Name That Tune. Name that tune, everybody! Now, a while ago, I got a vinyl record, which I can't find right now but it was basically Name That Tune on a vinyl and it came with a board game apparently originally and a book of all the little tracks and it was based on the original version of whatever Name That Tune became. Can I ask something? Yeah. Did it have one of those special grooves like multi

Starting point is 00:54:40 grooves so it depended what part of the record you started it on? I don't think so I think it was like play it and then look at the book that came with it. But you had to stop it or it gives you a certain amount of time, a gap on the record where you say what it is. A woman says a number, she goes, A24. Oh, that's right. And then she plays a few notes. Like a full orchestra going, doodle-de-de. Yeah. Doodle-de-de. And you go, oh, what is it? Anyway, Name That Tune, British TV show, two contestants testing

Starting point is 00:55:03 their knowledge of songs. It originally began in the United States on NBC radio in 1952. It was first shown as an ITV show in 1976 hosted by Tom O'Connor and he was the first presenter for a few years until Lionel Blair took over in 1984. I seem to remember, does it have a celebrity panel? No. No? No, it was contestants guessing songs. So just that basic format like… Yeah. And they won cash prizes. It was contestants guessing songs. So just that basic format like...

Starting point is 00:55:26 Yeah. And they won cash prizes. That was literally it. They won cash prizes. Now this is, this game represents the first generation of Name That Tune, because on the box it has Tom O'Connor on the box. Tom O'Connor's Name That Tune in fact it says. Now Tom O'Connor was a... Scouse stand-up comedian. And he was around when Dez O'Connor was around, and like a lesser Dez. The thing is, this was the era where

Starting point is 00:55:47 if you were a jobbing comic, you probably got a game show at some point offered to you if you had some kind of notoriety. He looks pretty young in the photo on the box. I think Tom O'Connor was a teacher first, or a headmaster of the school, and then became a stand-up. Right. I think Jim Bone was the same. I might be wrong.

Starting point is 00:56:05 Let me just have a quick look for Tom O'Connor. British comedian, TV presenter. He hosted Crosswits, name that tune, Password, Gambit and the Zodiac game. Born in St. Mary's College, Crosby, up by Liverpool, with, yeah, assistant headmaster. And then he began work appearing as comedian in Working Men's Club. And then, yeah, was Opportunity Knocks, you know,

Starting point is 00:56:25 blah, blah, blah, you know, the usual kind of. With all Opportunity Knocks. You know what I mean? It was the kind of standard entry into light entertainment in the 80s. That's how you did it. Worked the working men's clubs or comedy gigs and ended peer shows and all this kind of stuff.

Starting point is 00:56:36 Then you might get an Opportunity Knocks or New Faces. Maybe you'll get on like Bob Monkhouse, was quite famous for picking up standups he liked and giving them a spot on his shows and things. And then you got a game show. So the British version began in 1956. Marion Ryan was the singer in a popular musical quiz, Spot the Tune. That is the record I've got.

Starting point is 00:56:54 Yes, that's right. Marion Ryan is the woman on the record introducing every clip. Decades earlier than this. 1956, yeah. And it was on Granada TV for seven years. Blah, blah, blah about that. It was later revised as Name name that tune for ITV. The UK pilot was recorded in 1976 and became a 15-minute slot on the popular entertainment

Starting point is 00:57:12 series Wednesday at 8 and then London Night Out. And then it became so popular that Thames Television just went ahead and turned it into a proper show, into a half-hour weekly series in 1983. That had a full band as well. They wouldn't play clips, they would have a full band play the notes. Because that was the format. You had to guess the song in as fewer notes as possible to win. And it's not like, for example, an equivalent sort of game you'd have these days was that musical Wurdle, where they actually play a track there, don't they? A little tiny

Starting point is 00:57:41 fraction of a track. It was revived in 1997, briefly on Channel 5 with Jules Holland. And then it has the rules here, but this version of the game that we're playing is very, very basic. There is none of the gold medley, big prize tune, bitter note. There's none of that. It is literally just the, I think I can guess it in three notes. Here's three notes. Oh, quick guess. Okay, let's go. So this is the electronic board game version of it. And I just want to say say before we get into it,

Starting point is 00:58:05 visually I fucking love this. Great, a lovely build quality for one of the better words. If you've got beige background which is ribbed and then you've got lovely chunky buttons. Big round chunky buttons and they light up. And with primary colours you've got green, you've got all the primaries there, blue, yellow. If you are familiar with the way Fisher Price made their toys, that's a good way of visualising what we've got here. How's that look? It's a great big white box with lovely big round buttons on the top. Chunky.

Starting point is 00:58:34 Chunky. You could kill a dog with it easily with a couple of hits. Maybe just one if you get the angle in the corner. Well, if you held the dog down so its throat was exposed, you just bring it right down. Maybe by the neck just under the school yeah you probably will be able to do it definitely a cat like that with a cat well the award-winning check that box again again check that box again does it again again it is peter pan toys right uh yep so play things peter pan play things okay i wonder why they call it play things on that well they only ask because i wonder what castle is there's a logo that says

Starting point is 00:59:03 castle on the corner perhaps that's the electronics firm or the manufacturer. How bizarre. Come to the book, song book and instructions. See if there's anything in there about Castle. I'm just trying to look, maybe it's at the back. There's something on the bottom. No, it just says Peter Pan playthings. I don't know what Castle represents in this case. Well it's very strange. What I do like about it is it even has like a proper care page where it shows you how to open it up and fix wires or replace the boards in it. It does yeah. Which you know you wouldn't get on a lot of games these days. Or even on an electronic device these days you wouldn't get that. Right and then you can program your own songs into it gives you a little score

Starting point is 00:59:39 sheet and stuff and you can use the buttons as notes which is fun but we're going to play the game. It's a little very basic sort of raspberry pie style computer chip, isn't it, basically in there? Anyway, we're going to play the game, so let's play Name That Tune. Ladies and gentlemen, Name That Tune. APPLAUSE Yes, the show where a lucky contestant could win more than £1,200 in cash! A star prize! A superb four-band radio, including double cassette studio tape recorder to give you hours of greater music enjoyment.

Starting point is 01:00:20 And the chance to win this, yes, our big prize this week's Name That Cue. And the names are, Name That Cue tonight, Maggie Boone, Sheba, and the orchestra, conducted by Alan Raden. Now let's meet tonight's two contestants. Irene Pryor from Glasgow, a school meal supervisor, Irene's married and has two children.

Starting point is 01:00:53 And from Guildford Surrey, Arthur Berry, a Macauce representative. Now meet your host and compare for this evening, ladies and gentlemen, Tom O'Connor! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE At night, I'm Tom O'Connor, and we're going to play Name That Tune, and our first contestant today, mate... He puts his thumb in his pocket, doesn't he?

Starting point is 01:01:22 He does, yeah. He puts his waistcoat pocket. Hello, dear, mate. What's in his pocket. He does, yeah. He puts his waistcoat pocket and, hello, dear mates, what's your name? I'm Eli Silverman. Do you like music? Do you think you're a bit of a music knob? I'm a real music guy, yeah. I love music. All right, that's good.

Starting point is 01:01:35 Now, you've got to introduce me as a Scouse Tom O'Connor. Yeah, I go fucking hell, mate. What's the fucking going on here? I'm fucking Tom O'Connor. Fuck this. I'm fucking cool Is that the best you could possibly fathom to try and be Tom Connor? Hey, if fuck you man, I fucking tell you what You just sound like a pissed Scouse Tramp is what it goes down to

Starting point is 01:01:57 I fucking tell you what Closing your eyes again to like you can't concentrate No, I'm closing my eyes for some sort of pride I'm gonna move on. I can't wait this out What's- What's he say to me? What's he say to me? What's he say to me? It is a hot day. I'm doing the thing I'm in form.

Starting point is 01:02:30 Hang it down a bit more. What's your fucking saying to me? Don't tell me to put me form here. You want to play the fucking game you want mate? I'm fucking Tom O'Connor now. I'm Tom O'Connor now. You come round here, I fuck you up man. Right, okay. Anyway. I fuck off. I want to vom tomocon. Yeah, fuck you up, man

Starting point is 01:02:48 Right. Okay. Anyway, yeah, you come round here. I fuck you up To begin the game. Let me tell you to begin the game Each of us what we have to do what we have to do impossible fucking hard It must be so annoying to listen to as well poor. Oh the poor listeners This is what they come here for Paul, the madness. What do I, I can't. The madness of King Eli. Raaargh! Yeah, syphilitic ridden Eli.

Starting point is 01:03:12 Oh. With his fucking ski resort ball sack. Nice. Crispy. I've got a case of the ski resort going on down here. Right, how to play. I'm sorry. Object of the game is to win the most amount of money

Starting point is 01:03:25 by correctly identifying the mystery tunes. Note, name that tune as an automatic shut off feature. If no buttons are pressed for over a minute, name that tune turns itself off. That's good. To prepare, the money should be divided up as follows. Each player begins with 60 pounds played money. Five one pound notes, five five pound notes,

Starting point is 01:03:42 three 10 pound notes. Got it here and they have their own currency. They don't use that just that basic money. Yeah, so quickly going for the rules. Turn the game on by pressing the start button. A value from £1 to £9 will appear in the LED display for the mystery song which has been chosen from the computer memory. And you know what?

Starting point is 01:03:59 Another thing I love about this, the red LED light. The LED, beautiful. It's just, it's one of my favourite things. What is that when they use separate bits and they can do it to make all the, you know? That's basically a digital readout. It's a digital readout, but there's lots of different ways they can do that. Playing, you press the thing and a number comes up there. Whatever that number is, is what we bet from our cash handouts.

Starting point is 01:04:19 So if it says £1, we both put £1 in. I've got the money here, that's pretty straightforward. Then we talk out the bidding. We don't hear the song first. We have up to nine, no, ten notes. I can say I'll do it in three. You say I'll do it in two. Then I go, I'll do it in one.

Starting point is 01:04:32 And then you go, well, okay then. Or I can say, all right, well, you do it in two then. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm not, I can stop. No, no, that's not the way it works, Paul. Yeah, I can say I don't know what I'm talking about. Whoever has the lowest bid gets to do it. Yes, I know. Gets to give it go. But what I'm saying is, if you go, I'm going to do it. Yes, I know.

Starting point is 01:04:45 Gets to give it go. But what I'm saying is, if you go, I'm going to do it in two, I can just say, I let you do it in two. Oh, you can let me, yes. Yes, you're right. Right. You can be back out of this at any point. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:04:56 That's what I'm trying to say. You've got that across to me now. Then, let's just say you say three notes, you press the button three. I see the blue chunky buttons. Why? So you can see it so it's upside down. Now I haven't got my button near me. It doesn't matter.

Starting point is 01:05:09 I'll get the red button then. Yes, I've got the yellow big button. But you press three and then it will play three notes and then there will be a timer and you have to guess it and then press the play button that will play the whole song. So let's just say you think it's Jingle Bells, right? You'll say Jingle Bells, press the button, then it will play the whole song. So let's just say you think it's jingle bells, right? You'll say jingle bells, press the button. Then it will play the rest of the song. And if I think you're wrong,

Starting point is 01:05:28 I can challenge by pressing the big button nearest me. And then I have the same process, five seconds to guess it. Fine, I'm ready to go. Within five seconds, the challenger must offer his guess to the correct song and press the play button if he is correct, he wins. The jackpot. Any other player that hasn't challenged can do so if they're wrong.

Starting point is 01:05:43 They win the jackpot. If you lose, you forfeit equal to the value of the tune displayed on the LED. So I think it says it will say 3 minus 3. So whoever loses will lose £3 of their own money. So even though you've bet whatever, you have to give an extra 3 as a forfeit for losing. Okay. Right? And then it says to win is the person with the most money after a number of rounds.

Starting point is 01:06:03 How many rounds are we doing? We can play as many as we want or until we run out of money. Okay. Okay, let's play. I'm going to press the start button, which will turn the machine on. That's what we have to put down. Put down six. Put down six, five. Put it in the kitty. And then the kitty's there. Right.

Starting point is 01:06:19 Twelve there. Now, I think I could get this in maybe seven. I can do it in three. Well, I'm going to let you do it in three then. Okay. Okay. So you now have to, so I press three for you. Yeah, fine. I'll press three and it'll play three notes

Starting point is 01:06:32 and then a timer, all right? Here we go. Oh, wish, oh, oh, oh, you, oh. Time's out. What happens now? I don't know. I think that's it. I think you've just lost. You lost. No, you have to give six quid. You have to give an extra six. I have. No, an extra six for losers. What do

Starting point is 01:06:51 you mean an extra six? Because it says six and that'll be in the final. No, that's the pot there, you twat. Yeah, but then that means we've both lost. That means I've lost for no reason. No, you win that money. You idiot. No, I'm having this one. Fuck's sake. Yeah, you're having that money because I lost. Yeah, but you're right. You're meant to give a minus figure number there. No it's not. Reset it.

Starting point is 01:07:10 Now it's minus. That's it, that's it. The time's run out, that's why. Alright, I'll do the next one then. Eight. Eight. Alright, I'll put eight in. Go on.

Starting point is 01:07:18 How much do you want to bet you start first then? Uh, four notes. I'll do it in three. Okay, I'd like to see you do it in three. I'm going to do it in three. Okay, I'd like to see you do it in three. I'm gonna do it in three, here we go. Errrr... If you can challenge if you want. I don't know what happened.

Starting point is 01:07:37 I don't know, I don't understand. That's it, it's meant to play out. Look at the rules again. Oh, Swanee River. Oh, I didn't know that one. You didn't get it though, so I win all the money. Yeah, you win all the money. Shit. It's harder than it sounds, isn't it? Yeah, but all the songs are all like those old, standard-y ones.

Starting point is 01:07:58 I only know Jingle Bells. Right, okay. I'm gonna start again. Next one. Five. Right, he's gonna put all his ones down there, so that's 10 in the pot. Right, okay. I'll guess first. Five. I could do it in four. Go on.

Starting point is 01:08:11 I'm gonna go three. All right, name it in three. I wanna win, I'm gonna do three. All right, I'm pressing three. ["O My Darling Clementine"] Oh, my darling clementine. ["O My Darling Clementine"] No. ["O My Darling Clementine"] No, it wasn't that then. You win it then. You're shit at this. What was

Starting point is 01:08:30 that though? Give me hope in your heart I pray. Give me hope. Oh Joanna. Oh Susanna. Oh Susanna. Oh Susanna. Day Oh, Susanna. The day of the. As a child, Tim at school, wasn't it? Yes, they all are. Give me joy in my heart. Keep me. Well, they get in my heart. Break. Come on, darling. I'm a bitchy fledge comes over around the corner. They've got a wanky, chippy fledge and they squeeze out their knickers.

Starting point is 01:09:02 Award winning podcast. Let's do what? Let's do one more. Let's do one more. This is a bit of a failure, isn't it? Start. Two. Can I guess it, please? Go on, if you want. I'll do it in four. I'll do it in four. I'll tell you what. I'll let you do it in four. There's only four in the... All right. Ready? So you've got to say it and then press the button.

Starting point is 01:09:19 Ready? Four. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Do you know? What is that called? I'm gonna go... Right now press play. I think it was the blue Danube. Oh no.

Starting point is 01:09:34 No! Go long man in cheese! I lost my poor meatball down the leg of my car. What's that called? I don't know. I saw her in her. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

Starting point is 01:09:51 da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

Starting point is 01:09:59 da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da My Beautiful Dreamer, it's called. Beautiful Dreamer, yeah. That's not on here, no. First one to get it wins. How about that? Right, next one, stop. Eight. How many do you want to bet it in?

Starting point is 01:10:11 Five. Tell you what, for a bit of fun, I'll let you guess five then. Ready? Five notes. Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do. I know it.

Starting point is 01:10:24 What is it then? I don't think I can buzz it. What is it then? Pop Goes the Weasel. I think it. What is it then? I don't think I can pause it. What is it then? Pop Goes the Weasel. I think it's that. Oh, you can't. Hey, that's the way that they're ready. Go pop and go to the we. Well done.

Starting point is 01:10:39 All these songs are just like nursery rhymes. Oh, let's have another one. All right. In four. All right. Let's do it in four. Ah, fuck off jingle bells, my arse. I'm sick of this now. Alright, I'm going to do one more. Here we go. I'm going to put ten in and see if you can guess it in ten. Alright? What's that? Come on, you've got to know that one. Old Langsai.

Starting point is 01:11:09 Yeah, and that means I've... I'm just going to stop, I'm going to put that down. Well, since my co-host has fucked off and on his phone, I'm just going to stop the podcast. I'm looking up hurdle. No, it doesn't matter now, I'm just going to... Hurdle here, look. What do you mean hurdle? It's a proper version of what we're trying to do. What hurdle? What are you talking about? It's where you listen to a little bit of a. We know we've done it on the podcast before though. So don't worry about it. We've made the point. It's doing that zoom thing. Old man Eli's phone. Eli's got an old man phone and he wears glasses and he can't get it up. Well. Oh shut up. it's the midlife crisis podcast that you deserve. I can actually get it up everyone. Can you? Yes. You seem to talk a big game, mate, but I never see you practice. Because we are not sexually involved with each other, Paul, and that would be deeply unprofessional and problematic for me to do. Do you think if we did

Starting point is 01:11:58 consummate it, it'd be like moonlighting in that we'd lose all the chemistry and charm and the will they, won't they? It'd ruin it for me, it for me poor put it that way well we can only hope that we never transgress that sacred bond we have between us and we remain friendly but never intimate do you know what could do it push us over the edge into full doing it massive amounts of a steam drugs meth meth meth to one well episode 450 is coming if you want the meth special to know that really is. Meth people, there's all these stories of people having sex with their own mother and stuff after smoking meth. Well we'll do a live stream on YouTube and we'll take a load of meth and we'll just see what happens. I mean it could. We'll just see what happens. It probably would. You just don't know. people's attention to our podcast, eh? On the award-winning meth-ridden podcast, Cheap Show. It'd be the end of the pod though, wouldn't it?

Starting point is 01:12:48 It'd be the end of a lot of things for us, to be fair. It'd be coming out of the end of my knob, the spunk whip. Oh, that was a very poor end. Weak sauce, mate. Weak! Weak sauce. Weak sauce? Weak sauce. It was weak sauce this week, wasn't it? Once a week, yeah. Terrible sauce. Milky, milky dribble. We're doing nightbusting tonight. Tell them about night busting. We're doing night busting

Starting point is 01:13:10 tonight. We're both hot. It's going to be a weird one. Anyway, that's what we're doing tonight. After big boy, this is a big one. But besides all that, thank you for listening to Cheap Show. Thank you for helping us win that Golden Lobes Award. Love it. Love the growers. Love the showers. It was an amazing night for us. We might go into a bit more detail on the Patreon pod and talk about it. What we did. Yeah. Bit behind the scenes. We drank. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it for the podcast for the patrons.

Starting point is 01:13:35 However, if you do want to be a patron and find out what we got up to patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Give what you can only if you can. And, you know, thank you for those who do support us. You get podcasts and videos. All the night busing episodes. Night busing, extra podcasts, all sorts of stuff, magazines, amazing gear. For everything else, go to our website, thecheapshow.co.uk.

Starting point is 01:13:54 That's your one stop shop for everything. And if you start there, you can find us on social media, YouTube, episode guides, all that kind of thing. Thecheapshow.co.uk. And that's it. Let's wrap this up because I have got a massive grotty sweat on. It really is very still. And now that the rains come down, it's kind of become like a wet blanket.

Starting point is 01:14:13 A wet dog blanket. Yeah, wet. That dog's been on. Can I do a song to finish? Yeah. Oh the flange man he came into my room today He said I got something to say I said why do you have to keep drippin' on me And my eyes are burning from his fishy fishy tea

Starting point is 01:14:49 See he's playing something. He's gonna make sweet love to you baby. Gonna make sweet love to you baby. You've got literally nothing. I had a whole thing about flangeman there and you just have list literally it's you're just a trope machine every word is dead every word is dead as it leaves you and you just hide behind machinery. Come on. Come up with something about a flangey man coming. Can't you play the game? Are you wanting my flangey man pan? It's full of creamy wheat and grooves. Are you going to fllandre Man Land? See you next week!

Starting point is 01:15:29 Bye everyone!

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CheapShow - Ep 436: The Award Winning Podcast

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