CheapShow - Ep 448: Tech Talk Time

Starting point is 00:00:00 Eli sat there, dismayed and slightly bored, wondering what Paul would come up with and knowing deep inside him that it would be lame. Nah, I'm not doing this. Nah, not doing this. Nah, he said, nah, not doing this. I'm not doing this episode now. You're not doing the episode. Put me right off. I've put me right off.

Starting point is 00:00:20 You know what, Paul? You've put me right off. No, you know what, Paul? I'm being serious. You put me right off. Eli, right off. Like a bell and baby, right off. right off, you tossed me right off, Eli, right off, like a masturbator, right off, spoffed off. Is it masturbation if I wank you off?

Starting point is 00:00:39 Yeah, no. It's mutual masturbation, isn't it? No, mutual is when I, we've been through this before. We've been, ladies of gentlemen, for the record. But not literally. We have, though. We've been through the explanation of what mutual masturbation is and you don't understand it. And you've just, we've shown that you don't learn.

Starting point is 00:00:53 Yeah, I won't you and you whack me at the same time. No, that's not mutual masturbation. Yes, it is. Get fucking, bet me money. I will fucking... You don't need to bet you more. How about you just educate me then?

Starting point is 00:01:04 Once again. It's, if I wank, what's watching you, wank you wank you? I wank me, you wank you. So what is it then? Whanking together. That's what we must do. Whank me?

Starting point is 00:01:14 Whank you? We're wank you together. That's the way we're gonna goo. He's like, I know he likes goo as well. Yeah, I do. We all love a bit of goo. I'm using vernacular.

Starting point is 00:01:27 So what is it then? If you had me in your palm and vice versa. That's not masturbation. But what is that, then? It's me giving you a reach around. No, we'll be facing each other. I'd make sure of that. I want to see your eyes.

Starting point is 00:01:38 A reach forward. Yeah. Anyway. I reach a front. That's not what I've been talking about. What are we talking about? What were we talking about? We weren't really talking about anything.

Starting point is 00:01:48 You just said you were expecting me to do something shit. And then I had something to say. Well, do you want to say for the episode? Because I can take a pause, you can go to the music. You can have a think. I can't remember. I can't remember what it was. but it was something with some content, something toothsome,

Starting point is 00:02:00 with something to it, rather than just another fucking joke about us wanking. How sick is everyone of that? How sick is everybody? Probably very sick of that. No, that's it. I remember now, Paul. Welcome to Cheap Show.

Starting point is 00:02:13 No, I remember now, Paul. Welcome to Cheap Show. I'm going to say it after the fucking sound effect. You can, but welcome to the show. The fucking music. Music. Play, press the button. It's that.

Starting point is 00:02:22 What? Hey, shut on what way. I'll be back, everyone. Right after this. One day we'll be. get into the credit in a clean and concise manner. I'll be back. But not this week.

Starting point is 00:02:49 Cheap Show to the other way. Cheap show has a problem, Paul. This is what I wanted to say. Cheap show has a problem, everyone. Put your knives and forks down. Or look to the front, Mother's making a statement. We start... Mother.

Starting point is 00:03:02 We start... Every week, we start the episode and we've both got really good intentions. You know, we're relaxed, we're ready to work. We're ready to bring some joy, bring some humour to people's lives, to each other's lives, you know, to do something with some purpose. And then as soon as one opens our fucking mouth,

Starting point is 00:03:18 the others like, oh, I'm not doing this now. That's exactly what you did. I had a little joke about how you're shit, and you were like, I'm not talking, we're not fucking doing it. And that's how I feel. I was going to do a little character piece actually as part of the cold open.

Starting point is 00:03:30 Oh, I had one sorted out. Oh, I'm not broken that we're not going to get one of your character pieces. I said, I had one sorted out. Everyone's crying. Oh, another character from Paul, they're so precious. What's that? Boys and Girls? You'd like Paul to do his character piece? Why? Okay.

Starting point is 00:03:46 Hang on a minute. Hello, welcome to keep show to the economy podcast, or Eli and I go through bargain bin's charity shops and pound lands and look for the treasure amongst the trash. Right, it's now time for Paul Gannon's character piece. I've got this. Here we go. Here we go. I can see he's...

Starting point is 00:04:00 Um, yes, come in. I'm William P. P. Petus. Penis Doctor to the Stars. Yes, come and take a seat. You're not in this. You shut your fucking mouth. If you interrupt me once in this. If you try to correct me, if you try to stop me or elaborate on something I've said.

Starting point is 00:04:14 I was going to take part, Paul. I was going to say I had a problem with my stinky penis. This is a character piece. I've already got one mate and I've got this sort of up. Yes. It's a character piece. I'm going to get in touch with equity. This is going to be a one-man show moment.

Starting point is 00:04:26 Hey, didn't see you there. Well, I'm just doing some characters. Here's some characters. Right. Hello, yes. Bring him in. Yes, my next patient. I am William P. P. P. Piness.

Starting point is 00:04:37 The penis doctor. Hello. Who are you? Hello. I'm Gareth, the ghost hunter. I've got a very stinky penis. But it brings me joy because I find all the ghosts and goolies. All right.

Starting point is 00:04:47 Let's see what you've got there then. Let's have a little sniffy, shall we? Sniffy, sniffy, sniffy. He's make himself laugh, everyone. Sniffy, sniffy, time. is it? It's sniffy time. He's hit the rocks, everyone. I know you've bitten off more than you should chew.

Starting point is 00:05:05 I'm going mad. Help me. You shouldn't chew it. What's going to happen? Oh, oh, yes, I can smell the evil there. I've never smelled. Sir, you've got a terrible case of Dobson's job. Oh no, I've heard about Nobson's job before it's a terrible affliction. Will my penis drop off?

Starting point is 00:05:28 Not if I apply this ointment right now. It's not mutual masturbation, I've been told. That's my character piece. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, I love that. Bye, everyone. Oh, no, I think Gareth should have a second opinion there. And luckily, I've got another penis doctor.

Starting point is 00:05:45 No, I hear what he told. It's Morris B. Knobsworth. GP. Oh, hello, I'm Morris. Peanobsworth. I, and I've diagnosed. all sorts of maladies with the pinie. And, oh, thanks, Doc, because I've got this,

Starting point is 00:06:03 it's like a rash. Okay, I'll bring out my hearing. I'll give it a scritch and I've got a, oh, hello, I'm... Why is everything you do? A poor knockoff of everything I do? That's what we do on the show. I'm Morris B. Knopfworth and, uh, oh God, it smells great.

Starting point is 00:06:22 You're knobby, like, I'm a doctor too. That's what I want to. Well, Gareth, come on, Gareth, I need to... Oh, yeah. Yes, well, I want a second... Let's have a second opinion. I don't know if you're evil. I'll have a good list and give you...

Starting point is 00:06:34 Anyway, let me present it to you now on my thigh. Oh, it's seeping a bit there. Now, give it a scitch, will you? And I'll listen on my thing. Okay, here we go. Yes, it's obviously a very powerful knob cheese. The like of which I've never come across before. Oh, dear.

Starting point is 00:06:50 I'd like to bottle your knob cheese. Ooh. Oh, it's the chutney owl. Ooh. No, it's a ghost. It's the ghost. Most of the Chukney Owl. Oh my God, fuck off.

Starting point is 00:07:00 And that's the end of the character pieces for this week's episode of Cheap Show. So this week on the podcast, we have got... Morris B. Knobsworth, everyone. Something a little bit different. We're kind of doing something a little bit different. What kind of retrospective? And here's a thing, something we've never done before, a little bit of tech talk. A bit of tech talk.

Starting point is 00:07:18 A bit of tech talk. So we're going to be doing that on the podcast today. Now, in other good news, the album should be winging its way now to those of you who have pre-ordered it. Is that the ghost of the chutney album? No, there's no, we're moving on from that now.

Starting point is 00:07:32 The character see. Chutney owlbum. Yeah. Okay, do you want to say it a couple more times? I mean, I haven't actually heard that pun ever before. The Chukney owl bum.

Starting point is 00:07:41 That's good, isn't it? It's like when you said trowl. Yeah. It's like that big bird that has this common theme running throughout sometimes narratively. You know, the concept, owl, album.

Starting point is 00:07:52 Album. Nice. Thank you. Right. The album, yeah. Or those little fairer birds and side eggshells. The album, um, bumum.

Starting point is 00:08:02 So, if you have pre-ordered the cheap show, thank you. If you have pre-ordered the cheap show album, you've probably got it coming your way right now. We got ours. We put a video on YouTube of us unboxing them, and I've got mine now framed, the first one I pulled out. It looks lovely up there on the wall, Paul.

Starting point is 00:08:17 The lovely thing. You'll also be getting your download codes as well, I believe, when you confirm your address via Diggers Factory. And then, for those who missed out, Luckily, we have 50 left that we can sell. 50 extra LPs going on public sale. So limited, well, not limited edition, but limited sales. It is limited.

Starting point is 00:08:35 I guess it is really. It's fucking limited as fuck, mate. It is. How many copies total? It would have been like 300 plus the 23 we got sent to distribute. So yeah, we got a load sent to us, and some of those are going out to people who contributed to the album in some form. Some will be kept as a prize. We'll get into it close to the live show.

Starting point is 00:08:52 We're going to be giving away some test pressings with exclusive covers that me and Eli have drawn ourselves. But other than that, if you missed out and you want to get it, I think soon, we'll tell you as soon as we know on Czech socials and our website. But effectively, Diggers Factory will sell those surplus 50 albums and you can get your hands on them and the download codes as soon as they are available. And that's that. We hope you enjoy it because it will lead in to 450. The plan is 450 will lead into the beginning of the album. Yes. Which doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to it.

Starting point is 00:09:18 We've got something special prepared for 450. We've just had a little session there, Paul. We've had a little session there. It wasn't mutual masturbation. I know you're going to say that. I set you up for that there. You did. It was a very professional thing we just did.

Starting point is 00:09:29 But please, can you remember that mutual masturbation means two people wanking? Yes. But just, you know. In the same room. Or very, even closer than that. I just thought it was when you touch a lady and she touches you. No, that's just figuring and knobbing off. That's what that is.

Starting point is 00:09:44 Is it? Yeah. Oh, Eli, you have such a way with words, don't you? I'm going for a pint at the finger in a knobbing off. Good. I'm right. Is any other news, really? no next week with a little bit of look returning guests to the show who will it be oh i think

Starting point is 00:10:00 you'll like it that's it i got nothing my brain just stopped it stalled well you should have let let me do more with that character then no we've done the character stuff now it's out of the way that's done there's no more characters this week that's it that's the it's a hard line yeah it is hard line in the sand that i've drawn in salt a salty hard line that you can't cross i've got a salty hard line in my pants no you don't come on You make it sound like a dirty slug. I've got a dirty slug in my pants. Why? Because of salt.

Starting point is 00:10:29 You're thinking foamy slugs. Yeah. Killing slugs. Yeah. It always goes back to... And you know when you squeeze them and all the guts come out of the front, like that. I've never done that with a slug.

Starting point is 00:10:38 Yeah. Have you done that to a slug? Once, by accident. Why? Every... By accident, you grabbed a slug in your hand, squeezed it till the shit came out of its head. No, I'd already half stood in it without noticing.

Starting point is 00:10:50 And then when I looked down and saw it half pressed, it had like its inner coming out of its mouth. So then I just put the rest of my foot down because, you know, I had to put weight on it so I could step forward. Good that you put that slug out of his misery, Paul. We all agree with you. So should I put the sound effect in here now?

Starting point is 00:11:07 Is this the right moment? I don't know why. You just said, I've got nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing. Then it's like I killed a slug. That's the way this podcast crumbles. Bleep, blot, bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop, bloop.

Starting point is 00:11:18 Tech card. I'll start again. I'll start again. bleep blah, bloop, bleep, blah, bloop, tech talk, tech talk, bleep blah, bloop, tic talk, tech talk. Bleep bloop, bleep, bloop, bleep, blue, bloop, tech talk, tech talk. Blah, bloop, bleak, tech talk. This is a new segment for the podcast called Tech Talk,

Starting point is 00:11:39 where we look at some expensive tech and then some cheap tech and we see which one is actually goodest or most best. You need to be careful on the microphone because of stick of editing out, you ruffling your big fat head on the must. Because I tried to move my mucus. mouth out of the way. It's too late for that. Am I being in touch, is it?

Starting point is 00:11:56 I know, I don't like it. Sorry. Sorry. Because sometimes you do it over when you're talking. And then I have to edit everything you say out. You don't want that. I think you should explain the new segment better. Tech talk, tech talk, tech talk, tech talk.

Starting point is 00:12:08 No, bleep blot, bleep, blot, blop, bleep, blop, bleep, blop. Tech talk, tech talk, bleep, bleep, bloop, bleep, blah, blot, blah. Teak talk. Tech talk. Tech talk. Tech talk. Tech talk. This is the segment where we look at some tech and some of it could be quite expensive or, you know,

Starting point is 00:12:20 high end. and then we look at some similar things that aren't high-end and cheaper, and we go, oh, what's all that then? Because I had to get a present for a relative of mine. Right. And I bought it, and I've got it here. And I realized it was disturbingly cheap, considering what it's up against. So something that does the same.

Starting point is 00:12:41 So what you're saying is we take two pieces of equipment technology, tech talk, tech talk. Tech talk, tech talk. That do exactly the same thing or similar things. Yeah, basically. One's very expensive, one's very cheap. Yeah. And we say, is it value? A bit like off-brand-brand-brand-off.

Starting point is 00:12:56 Off-brand-bran-bran-off similar. Tech-Talk, tech-talk. Tech-talk. Off-brand-bran. Right. First of all, I can at least say I didn't spend money on this because it was kindly donated to me by Tom from Channel 84 and their podcast Friday.

Starting point is 00:13:08 But a few, a little while ago, he donated me this. This is the, it's a little handhold. It's a retroid pocket 3-plus, I think that's what it is. You have a little look at that. So I just want to pull up the price of it. I like the weight of this. It's got quite a head. heavy,

Starting point is 00:13:21 feel substantial. Yeah, it doesn't it? It feels like a nice little thing. And it looks like a sort of see-through shell. Yeah. So you can see the gubbins. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:30 Colored plastics. I like that. I like transparency as well. So effectively what it is, is it is a, it's like a Game Boy. It's like a Switch. It looks like one of those.

Starting point is 00:13:39 And the idea is it plays roms of classic games from the past. It certainly does. It's a simulation. No, not a simulation. What's the fucking way? Emulation machine, right? Oh, you get Google Crime on it.

Starting point is 00:13:50 It connects to the internet. Well, this is the thing. That actual software seems to be a form of Android. Now, I'm not a tech person. Oh, yeah, it's like a phone layout here. But when I had to, when I set it up, I had to, like, join it up with my Gmail account and all this stuff so I can transfer files and whatnot. That's touchscreen as well.

Starting point is 00:14:07 Yeah, it's also touchscreen. Cool. So now, if you use the shoulder buttons... Can I select a game? Yeah. But you've got into the Game Boy category. Many of all the Game Boy games. And there's hundreds of Game Boy games.

Starting point is 00:14:18 Donkey Kong. Is that the original... Donkey Kong? Yes, the Donkey Kong That one's called Donkey Kong 94 because it starts off as a recreation of the original arcade machine and then develops into a puzzle platform

Starting point is 00:14:29 Honestly, one of my favorite Game Boy games at all times Yeah, go for it Okay, I'm gonna, I'm tapping it. But if you were to scroll with the shoulder buttons you would have seen there was PlayStation there Mega Drive, Super Nintendo, some N64,

Starting point is 00:14:42 there's a GameCube one on there that just about works because it pushes its look when it gets above that you need to tap the region. I'm familiar with these kind of devices, Paul. But they've been going for years and they seem to be getting better and better. And some universal handhelds, basically, is what they are. And Retroid is one of the market leaders in terms of the recognised brand.

Starting point is 00:15:02 And this is the Pocket Retroid. Retroid Pocket is called. Plus three, whatever that means, because there are multiple models of these things. Can I ask, I've selected Donkey Kong, but now it's saying select a playable item. Donkey Kong Japan, USA, SGB Enhanced, or Donkey Kong World. Rev A, SGB enhanced. That means they're region-based versions of the game. Well, which one should I... I would recommend the top-the-top one

Starting point is 00:15:26 because that's been augmented with the Super Game Boy converter for the Game Boy Color. So it's got colour already added into it. Paul used to be... Paul used to be a... Video-games journalist. A video games journalist in a previous life. That's what they say.

Starting point is 00:15:39 It's such a cliche when people say in a previous life. Was it a previous life? I mean, it is. Was it just earlier in your life? Yeah, but he wasn't a previous life. It's not a literal previous life in that sense. So why say it? Stop saying it, everyone. Because people are talking about it more, you know.

Starting point is 00:15:52 I'm a different person. Fuck off. There is no self. It's an illusion we tell ourselves. It's more metaphorical, isn't it? It's just more metaphorical. I'm not the man I used to be, et cetera. It's that kind of thing.

Starting point is 00:16:02 No one is. No one you are what is. E. I, as soon as I get close to a A thoughtful thought. I was. You see, he goes, blah, blah, blah. Mine go off. Bring back the penis doctor.

Starting point is 00:16:15 Why is it? You know, that's another problem we've got a cheap show. You know that, Paul. I like the characters more than you, your characters. I would have said the same for you as well. I would love to hang out with Grumpy Sessions, just hang out and watch Tilly. Yeah, you do like Grumpy Sets. Wow, this is a black and white because it's a Game Boy originally.

Starting point is 00:16:31 That's what it originally came out for, the original OG Game Boy, yo. It's got a nice resolution, the screen. Nice crystal clear. Now, how much do you think that costs? Now, I've got problems with it because I think, and I think Tom says this as well, some of the build of it is not great. The shoulder buttons feel a little loose on one side. doesn't feel like...

Starting point is 00:16:49 I think he said he even said there was problems of the shoulder button that they came off and hard to repair. There's two... There's a pair of shoulder buttons

Starting point is 00:16:55 on each side, right? But overall, it's a high quality product, right? Absolutely, I'd say. And again... Now, legally, it's a different discussion altogether because all those

Starting point is 00:17:03 games shouldn't be on that. Just dump all the ROMs on it and then play it off it provide your format it. So yeah, he's playing Donkey Kongs. It's just, yeah, you've got the normal buttons. You have to press start,

Starting point is 00:17:12 which is... Ah, here's another problem. So the pause and the stop button, the pause and the select button or whatever I want to call it. We're on the top, and they're quite hard to get your fingers to sometimes if you want to pause the game or whatever.

Starting point is 00:17:23 Now, it also comes to all the little tricks and traps in that you can do save states at any time. Right, don't matter what the game is. No, you can just save it right there and then wherever the game is

Starting point is 00:17:32 and take it up from that spot. So that means, you know, if you die, you can go back to your save state and not lose loads of lives or start from the beginning. It's got loads of ways to... Well, there's flames coming at me.

Starting point is 00:17:41 Yeah. Immediately. That's not from the original game. It is because they go into the barrel once they hit the ground. I fucking died immediately. I didn't jump that. So, with all that being said,

Starting point is 00:17:50 tonight's little thing it does the job. The buttons aren't amazing, but they do the job. How much you think it costs? I'm going to die again. I'd say about 120. Okay. So prices do vary, and it's been out for a while now. But at the moment, that costs in some markets. Like if you go to a company called DrawX or Droegs,

Starting point is 00:18:07 I don't know how you pronounce that. They're apparently selling it for £180 pound. Okay. It wasn't that far. No, and I've seen eBay prices for about the same. and less so there are modern versions of that now newer models that play more and do better and they're always bringing out new versions right yeah but value for money not bad until i watched this youtube channel and they were doing this thing where it's like oh we buy from wish we buy from

Starting point is 00:18:33 aly express we see what crazy tech they've got which costs nothing yeah and they had this one thing another game emilator and you've got it i got it now i didn't get it from wish or alexpress i got it from amazon because they had the exact same thing on amazon and i suppose this is going to be much cheaper than this item. Yeah, so this is the retroid. And here's the other one. This one is called Game Console, R36S. And this is a clone of a clone, basically,

Starting point is 00:18:58 because there's another company, forget the name of it now, that did the original model from this. And this is effectively like, you know, when you see all those knock-off Game Boys. Yes. And they've loosely modeled on the Game Boy. Like the Game Child.

Starting point is 00:19:08 Yeah, yeah. But this is like a souped-up version of this because this does the exact same as the other. But it's more, it looks more like a Game Boy. If that one was not like Game Boy Advance or Switch This one's more like a traditional Game Boy Color Absolutely with the screen above the controls essentially In an upright rectangle

Starting point is 00:19:24 So you know what I mean Yeah let me just turn this on for you You can have a little look around that as it boots up Why do they all go for the transparent case In this case I chose that I wanted it to be transparent Because it reminds you of Game Boy Color Whenever I see them though

Starting point is 00:19:38 They always advertise it Because this one's the same It's a popular colour Because I think people remember the Game Boy Color Version of this model I had a Game Boy color of that model. Ooh. Now, here's what I'll say.

Starting point is 00:19:49 When I had to get out of this, B. No, shoulder buttons on the back, I think, rock it. Oh, they're nice. I like those shoulder buttons there. I think it's a little bit... If you've got smaller hands like me, I can already feel like I... For me, it's a little bit cumbersome. It feels more playable.

Starting point is 00:20:01 You mean cramped, you mean? Well, my fingers overlapping away I don't quite like at the back. Oh, yeah, my fingers are overlapping at the back. Yeah. Whereas that one, because it's more stretched out. But you got Game Boy on there. That's the Tetris music. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:12 Mate, it's weird. I left that running on the table before. thinking it was just going to play Tetris over and over and then halfway through it faded out and then started playing the Mortal Kombat theme for the movie. Moral Combat! That one.

Starting point is 00:20:25 Classic game. So you go into Gameboy and you scroll down and... I went to Classic Game, what's it doing? I don't know. I don't know what classic game is. Rock Man 2, Rock Man 3, Rock Man 4, Rock Man 5.

Starting point is 00:20:35 They're the original. 3-Fighter 2? Yeah. They may be NES. The Game Boy version. I don't know what version it is. I'm in the Game Boy file. Give me here a second because it should.

Starting point is 00:20:44 I like the screen size. Again, the resolution seems exactly the same. It's funny, it should have on this screen a panel that shows you an image. I don't know why it's not doing that now. But you can go through PC Engine, Mega Drive, or Nintendo, PlayStation, System 2, Advance, Options, Famicon, Game Gear. This one doesn't seem to be working on Android. This is the whole presentation of this is like far-class, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Starting point is 00:21:07 That looks like a drop-down menu with loads of pictures. But look, you get music on it. This is Doom. Yeah. But random. it's just playing Doom. This is nicer. And the screen's really nice as well.

Starting point is 00:21:18 And the buttons were a little bit clacky, clacky. It's smaller. The screen is smaller. It's a little bit clacky, clacky. The buttons on it, you know. Like, everything's a little bit. Load up a game for me. I want to play like...

Starting point is 00:21:28 Oh, Street Fighter. Street Fighter 2, yeah. Second Impact. I don't know what that is. You know, I'll have a look at that. So I've given you Street Fighter on that. It's the volume on the side, like on a Game Boy? Yes, somewhere.

Starting point is 00:21:38 Insert coins, it's saying. Oh, is it, is it Street Fighter? No. What is it? Yes, it is, yeah. Insert two buttons are in the middle there now And start buttons are in the middle there now And start two coins

Starting point is 00:21:47 And just like the other one It just have like twin stick Kind of you know Analog controls Even though you'll barely use them For the games you're playing it with Well credit one What's going on?

Starting point is 00:21:56 I don't know You all right granddad Here we go Raiu Right he's picking a character Well now Now he's going to get his ass beat now Yes because I don't know These special moves

Starting point is 00:22:04 Oh not very good then I knew the special moves Harducan Hardukin I'm going to do Hardukin I remember Hardukin Who are you playing again Who you're fighting

Starting point is 00:22:12 Rowlou or something Ronnie Scott Oh, this isn't the version I remember. Oh, I did how duk in it. Oh, fucking how'd dukund his fucking ass. Oh, geez, how dukin it. Oh, totally haldukund. And again, how dukin?

Starting point is 00:22:25 Well, he's enjoying that. That duken, I can do it. I can do it. Are you beating him? Or is he kicking your air? How'd you jump? I don't know, press up. I think it's one of these press-up things.

Starting point is 00:22:34 I'm going to be fucking... Did it and dead it and da-da-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- I'm doing the Doom music, even though he's playing Street Fighter. Eat that computer. He's terrible, this guy. Oh, I threw it. Oh, I threw him again. Yeah, you're doing all right, love. You're all right, Granddad, playing your games.

Starting point is 00:22:54 You do play video games, like people who play video games in movies play video games. Hey, oh, I just won this, okay? Talk over me while I was making a point. Yeah, you were insulting me. I know what it is. Yeah, you at least let me finish the sentence. Like an old wanker, like an old bastard. No, I was saying it's weird how you play games, like people in movies play games,

Starting point is 00:23:10 with, like, jerking the control around them, pulling it and going left and right, was like, no one does that. apart from you and Jeff Bridges in the fucking and Lloyd Bridges in the fucking wizard or whatever it's called it's one of the wizard brothers no not wizard brothers

Starting point is 00:23:24 Bridges Brothers Bridges Brothers that's quite hard to say Bridges Brothers You're cracking me up I just need to win this one more round Oh did you beat me in the first one then did you That's good Who are you playing again

Starting point is 00:23:34 Soft Joe Yeah It's not very good I just did it Glassjawed jam I just did it Yeah No he killed me

Starting point is 00:23:39 Oh he beat you did he Oh you're going to play to the end Oh let's get on with the episode Anyway that's good I like that. I would say this is just as... The screen's a little brighter, it's a little bit sharper.

Starting point is 00:23:50 I don't know if the sound coming out, the speaker's all that brilliant, but for what it is? I prefer it. How much do you think it costs me? I think... On Amazon. I know it's cheaper because it's a thing, isn't it?

Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah, I know. How 60? It was on sale, admittedly, it was on a discount, but it was 30 pounds. Wow. 30 pounds for that. And they tend to go...

Starting point is 00:24:10 That's how much like fish and chips costs these days. And they usually go for about 30 pounds. 540. It depends on the seller. I've seen some burgers sell this for 90. I've got a question. For both of these devices, do I have to pay more money? To get the games? No.

Starting point is 00:24:23 Or do I have to do some work in order to get the games? Okay, so this one came preloaded with everything on it. I literally turned it on and it was all there. So, that's illegal just for the record. Oh, okay. I don't own them, so therefore I shouldn't have them as a ROM on this. The logic is... Amazon, we're happy to send it to you.

Starting point is 00:24:41 Well, exactly, right? Right, so I've got to be that illegal, can it? This fucking thing's really hard to turn off, though, because it says, hold button down, then you do, then it just reboots. Anyway, so that's that. And then, you know, the retro, this is built on the idea that it's just selling you the shell.

Starting point is 00:24:53 So you have to add the games yourself to this. All I'm saying is they're both Dodge in certain respects. But this one's more upfront about how Dodge it is because it all comes packaged. It's all one package, which is obvious dodge. Whereas this one's more like, well, you can buy this. If you put games on, that's not on us. Yeah, I see. Because it does other things as well.

Starting point is 00:25:10 You know, you can do email on this if you want. Which is a bit like the Rizzler papers, like the long Rizzer Whizler papers. No, it's because, you know. It's because truckers like to have one big, long smoke on when they're driving. It's not because you want to make many more. It's like, Ben, if you put marijuana in it, that's not our fucking fault. That's not up to us, is it?

Starting point is 00:25:24 That's not on us, is it? Unfortunately, what's that? If we market these buzz bombs to young women. If we make them nice and bright and colorful. I like them. Yeah, I like them. I want to drink them more now. Let's do it right now.

Starting point is 00:25:37 Okay, so my point is overall, what would you, if you had the money spend it on? Would you get that, the small one? Absolutely. I would. Generic name console, RS5. I absolutely would get that one. I prefer that one.

Starting point is 00:25:49 Yeah. Yeah. But I think the type of games I'm likely to play are going to be more because I'm getting old now. I get in old. I like Bellartro.

Starting point is 00:25:56 Yeah. Puzzle. You know. I mean, it's got loads of puzzle games. 18 different types of Tetris. Pollo, Pollo Pollo Poiop. Oh, I love Pollo Pollo.

Starting point is 00:26:03 Pollo games. All of those. And you know what else? Columns. Got all of that. I get into games like that. Like Puzzle games. Like Ballartro.

Starting point is 00:26:11 I'm obsessed with it now. I like my can of, I like my platformers and I like my kind of Zelda type stuff. I love platformers. I love the Mario's. I mean, those are the games I've loved in recent years. Well, that's having a play through, Mario 3D, it won't. 3D World or Land.

Starting point is 00:26:24 No. What about the retroid? It will have everything up to about PlayStation level. Right. And it might even push its look on N64, but they haven't got any N64s built into this. That's what generally with these things that I've seen over the years, these emulator, handheld emulator things,

Starting point is 00:26:40 They tend to struggle, don't they, with N64 in particular. Yeah. Why is that? Just because they still have... Not even Nintendo have cracked emulating their own games that well themselves. People complain about some of the switch ports of like 64, Mano 64 and things. Yeah. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:26:54 I don't know the weeds of it. That's not for a man like me to say, because the man like me don't have the information for you. It was a previous life after all. It was a previous life. I mean, back then, I haven't really talked about my life as a gamer. And maybe I will one day. But it's not today.

Starting point is 00:27:06 You weren't a gamer. You're a gaming journalist. That was bleep blot, bleep blot, bleep blot, bleep block, bleak talk, tech talk, tech talk. Oh, I forgot the tune. Totally. Bleep block, bleep block, bleep dot, bleak, I've lost it. Tech talk, tech talk, tech talk, do you know what I'll do? Let's do a call and response thing.

Starting point is 00:27:20 I'll just do what I did last week and just cut out the bit for the beginning and slapping here. Yeah, well, then we'll never learn our new theme tunes to the segments, Paul. I will listen back. Tech talk, tech talk. Tech talk. No, I don't like it. I'm going to end of it. Blue, blah, blue, blah, blue, blah, blue, black, blue, black, blue, black, black, black, black, Tech Talk, Tech Talk.

Starting point is 00:27:36 No, you say Tech Talk and I go Tech Talk. Tech Talk. Go bleep block, bloop, bleep bloop, bleep bloop, bleep bloop, Tech talk. Tech talk. I thought you were going to do it first, like it was a kind of Chess and Dave thing. No, you got a Chess and Dave thing, so I go bleep block, bleat, bleep block, bleat, bleep block, bleat, bleak talk, bleat, bleak talk, bleat, bleat, bleak talk, tech talk, tech talk, tech talk.

Starting point is 00:27:58 I like this. All right, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallop, yeah, like that. Okay, fine. We've done enough on this now. That was TechTor A new segment for Cheap Show Maybe the last Because I can't think of anything else to do

Starting point is 00:28:09 I find that stuff interesting Paul But if something else turns up But I you know Even in the Because tech is quite a wide Because you know we could do It's quite a wide category isn't it We could know we could do

Starting point is 00:28:20 Those kind of record players Suitcase And the Cap Sal Berger and stuff I talk about that In a future one Tech Talk, Tech Talk Tech Talk, Tech Talk We could do that couldn't we

Starting point is 00:28:29 We definitely could Because they are Some of those Some of those terrible suitcase ones actually cost more than that I paid for my soundburger. A soundburger is infinitely better. Yeah, we could marry that up against that one. And then the suitcase one I've got here with somewhere else.

Starting point is 00:28:42 Oh, your little new mark, scratch mace, master. Weak, quick, quick, quick, quick. That one. Right, that's it for Tech Talk this time. Maybe we'll do it again. But for now, it's over to the sound effect. What? Don't point.

Starting point is 00:28:53 I didn't show you something in my bag. Right, I don't want to. Sound effect. It'll be very quick. Oh, what's this? Gummy pickles. Didn't I give you these? No, it's not a bit of gum.

Starting point is 00:29:16 It's not, it's a gummy pickle. It's a pickle size. Real pickle. Feel it through the bag. It's moist. It's pickly. You want to taste it? No.

Starting point is 00:29:25 Real pickle taste. It's just one big wet gummy. Ugh, it looks like a scab. It's green. I know, but it looks like a scab. Yum, num, num. Oh, I don't want this. Giant gummy bears.com.

Starting point is 00:29:37 GGB candies. It's from Amiga Mart in Vegas. Remember we got the Mad Monks and all that from Vegas? I thought I gave you that. Didn't someone give us gummy pickles recently? No, we had pickle-flavored jelly beans, remember? No. You don't remember anything.

Starting point is 00:29:51 We've done almost 40 and 50 episodes. Just have a sniff of this. How am I meant to remember everything? Have a sniff of this, okay? All right. I don't want to eat any pickle gum, you made. We've done food a lot lately. I want to pledge from you that you're going to taste this at some point.

Starting point is 00:30:03 on the show. Maybe we'll do it on the cheap shot. You know, where they can get more... You know, just throw your trash on the floor, mate. I'll pick it up up. You'll just just... I'll pick it up after. All right.

Starting point is 00:30:12 I have a sniver of this, though, man. I want a full description. And then we'll move on to the rest of what you got planned for the episode, okay? All right. Okay. That doesn't need jostling. It doesn't need jostle. Dossil...

Starting point is 00:30:23 Smell that. It's not needed here today. Smell that pickle gummy, my friend. Oh. Oh, that's so weird. It's nice. I get waves of like McDonald's pickle, and then I get a... like a wave of like sherbetty, sourness and then the gummy sugary acidity.

Starting point is 00:30:39 They're going for it, man. Oh, well, you'll be eating some of that. Oh, lucky me. What lovely times we have on Cheap Show, the Economy Comedy Podcast, where I'm forced to eat Eli's muck. Also, definitely in date, you can see. That's good. I don't even know if they have a half-life or not.

Starting point is 00:30:55 I mean, it's a best before. It's a best before. It's not a used by, and we know about that distinction. We do know about that. Now, Paul, I also, one other interesting thing about this, is the, I'm surprised, there's one. They tell you that this company, GGB candies,

Starting point is 00:31:09 specialise in unusual shaped and flavoured gommies. Let's have a quick look there. Yeah, that's right, have a look. There is a QR code, I think, here for them. No, they say go to their website. GGB, yeah, and the bee is like a bear face. Fuck me. Probably for a gummy bear.

Starting point is 00:31:25 May, do you know what else they did? Those fucking fanny crisps. No. I mean, not a bad guest to be fair. You know, that's why that would be my guess. That super hot gummy teddy bear we had on the... Was that them? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:36 They are the big players in the novelty gummy world, aren't they, obviously? Yeah. Well, they're the most pointless company in existence. Oh, I'm bitter. They do giant gummy bears, as you can imagine. They do blue-raz flavour. Yeah. Green.

Starting point is 00:31:50 Oh, they do a giant gummy watermelon-slice. Gummy whale. Whale? Worm. It's a slight size difference. Gummy's peace sign. Gummy breakfast. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:01 It's like a whole big gummy egg. They do it all. Waffle and bacon. They do it all. Gummy hot dog, gummy three-worm pack. Novelty gomming. Is that all they do, though? Do they do novelty gummy knobs and penises? Oh, knobs are penises.

Starting point is 00:32:15 I guess they are. Nubs and tits. Nubs and tits. Fanny. Gummy Fanny. Gummy Fanny. Giant Gummy bunny bunny. Do they do Gummy Fanny for like, you know, hensis? I don't believe they do big gummy fangs.

Starting point is 00:32:25 Do they do Gummy Cocks and Fannies, Paul? Do they gummy... Excuse me, sir. Do you sell gummy clunge? Do you? I would like two bags of your best gummy clung Do you think anyone has ever manufactured a gummy clungle penis? Do you want me to at least look that up?

Starting point is 00:32:38 Yes, I do. Let's get on there. I'm just going to, I'm not going to be dumb. Don't put gummy penis because then you'll get some horrendous porn with an actual, you know, health condition. I am tidying, the search engine, the words gummy vagina, which sounds like a complaint you go with the doctor to. It's a medical complaint. Put confectionary gummy or something. They have.

Starting point is 00:32:56 Sour gummy. They have vaginal probiotic gummies. That's not we're here for. Jelly boobs, which are just jelly beans. Jelly boobs. Funny pussy patch sour rainbow. Yeah, now we're talking. Order two packets.

Starting point is 00:33:10 It just says sweet and sour, chewy pussy soft candy. And yeah, they do, look. Oh my God, I need those in my life. We had those before we never have. They're little winegum shaped. Because you like wine gums. I like the wine gums,

Starting point is 00:33:23 but they're slightly shaped as a lady's opening. They're ladies' fanny. And on the front of colour, there's a little cartooner lady's pussy saying sour pussy power, which is, you know, I remember the spice girl saying that back in the day. Yeah, so there you go. Tiny little wrapped pussies with gummies in.

Starting point is 00:33:40 You learned something new every day, Paul. You've learned something new every day, and I've learned never to press record when Eli says, oh, I've got something else for you. It's more tech time. Tech time, more time. It's kind of a techie episode this week, actually. I was going to say.

Starting point is 00:33:56 Yeah, although I'm going to go ahead and cheat it and say this is a charity shop showcase, even though it is absolutely not. The charity shop showcase segment. So I'm going to drop in the music now. It is the charity shop, little little showcase. It's the one place where you can show your stuff. Come and come and come and come.

Starting point is 00:34:16 Come on, come to the charity shop. Oh, showcase. Check it out. I'm Jimmy, Jim, Jimmy, Jim, Jim, Pamarotti. I'm Mickey Jimmy and Pavarotti, Jim Jambi. I've got a jim. Army Army And I've got

Starting point is 00:34:34 Never It's the Sherry Shop Little Little Showcase It's the one place Where you can Show your stuff Therefore it is

Starting point is 00:34:47 I just have the words jaunty knob smell Going through my head Oh you met him Outside Johnty Knob smell Yeah he works for William P penis

Starting point is 00:34:55 He works for him Yeah He's like a what Prop patient Well no What he does Is he collects samples From all the patients

Starting point is 00:35:02 that the doctor sees and then formulated database of knob cheeses and scabs and stenches. Johnty Knobsmell. Yeah. Okay, good. He's like the kind of alchemist in the cellar kind of thing. I honestly didn't think you were going to go for it when I just put those words to get into the Johnty. Jonti I really like Jonti Nobsmell. Anyway, the other thing.

Starting point is 00:35:24 He's a German doctor. Let's put that. Put a pin in it. Because I think you should be Johnty Knobstall. I'd like to see you do a German character. I will be Jonti Knobspot. You heard it here first. Now, the other thing I just wanted to say quickly just to get it out there.

Starting point is 00:35:39 Get it out there. Into the world. Because you know, sometimes things I say on this pod have this weird way of turning up in the real world. Oh, they do. Big corporations listening to what I say. Orange cream. Now, I just want to say, do you think this exists?

Starting point is 00:35:54 I ask, I ask, ask you. Go on. Is there a plushy Muller corner? Do you think? It's not. without the realms of possibility. I want plushy, blue-raz, Muller Corner. I don't know if you'll have something exactly like Muller Corner,

Starting point is 00:36:09 but you may have a plushy yogget pot of some kind at best. It has to be Muller Corner for it to work. Well, then if anyone's out there who wants to make a plushy... Don't make it. I want a legit one that was put out of the time, like the winky of plushies. Well, tough, they don't exist. I'm going to put my foot down and say, it's not a thing. Can we get a second opinion from Johnty?

Starting point is 00:36:28 John T's just text me. What's going on? What's this bit then? It's a charity shop showcase You didn't get it in a charity shop No, I didn't It's not a fucking showcase I want to showcase off

Starting point is 00:36:37 I want to showcase it off Do we see if it goes in If it's in the showcase It has no place Yeah, we can do that I'm happy to do that I think if I'm going to put it up On that pedestal

Starting point is 00:36:44 It should be allowed To be knocked off if needs be If it has no place If it has no place Then it shan't see my face And it won't be a showcase No and it'll be no trace Of it no trace of it

Starting point is 00:36:54 No I'll give you some grace But then I'll make some pace With your knob Yeah you see It all comes back to knobs It all comes back to knobs Sometimes it comes to Fanny's

Starting point is 00:37:04 Big ones, small ones round and like Oh, it all comes back to knobs Sometimes it comes to Fannies Sometimes come to Fanny Sometimes come to Fanny Sometimes sometimes Come to Fanny How have we been doing this for ten years

Starting point is 00:37:19 I don't understand how we have No I don't think we are We've lost it man Not like lost I think we've lost our minds I think what it was I think we've lost our minds I think one day

Starting point is 00:37:28 Me and you were at a gig and we fell down the stairs and banged our heads together and now we're in two hospital beds somewhere and we're holding hands across the beds and we're both sharing in this kind of weird coma state thing and I'm going like this yeah John Tobbs spell

Starting point is 00:37:47 just doing that we're in comas anyway that's good another happy thought from Paul oh doctor the little hairy one said Spong job again. Oh, that's sign of life. We shan't turn the machines off. I'm William Peepinus.

Starting point is 00:38:04 I'll sniff him. Oh, he would be in hospital, wouldn't he? Come on, mate. No, that's where Dr. Pinas would be. Yeah, Johnty Knopsmell would be with him, you know, taking notes. I'm not going to portray Johnty Knobsmell just now. I want to save it. I want to save it.

Starting point is 00:38:17 All right, then. Look, we've got a serious bit to do. Yeah, so here's what I want to do. I want to present something to you that I recently rediscovered in a box of mine and brought back many memories, and some of which I'm going to bear my soul and share. and share today with you because the format allows me to do that, Mr. Silverman. Well, we're all dripping with anticipation.

Starting point is 00:38:35 What is this thing that you bring to us today, Paul? Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you my minidisc player from 2000 or something by Sony. It is my high-definition minidisc player. I believe the model number is the MZ-NH-1. And what makes this one so special is it could play hard drive mini-discs. or high definition minidisc Which is just a different format

Starting point is 00:39:01 It was the same format But it could store one gig of information Which for the time was quite a lot For what it was So what makes this different It can process a larger file Is that what you're saying? Yes, the chip's more powerful

Starting point is 00:39:13 Just to give you an example Because I've got I found all my fucking minidisc What's how many I've got Oh I like those little minned When they're in the case The little cassette case They get brilliant

Starting point is 00:39:22 They always come in these little plastic cases Which are nice And aesthetically I've always loved the mini disc No no I like those ones Haven't you got one that has a sort of hinge, a hinge case? Yeah, no, I'll show you that now. Please, yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:32 I've got this one and, you know, this comes out like that. Yeah, that's just a normal one. That's not so exciting. I've got... Where's it gone? On that pile at the bottom, I saw. Pile on the right, yeah. Down that bottom, yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:43 Now, this is what I like. Now, this is the high-def style. This is the high-deaf. Oh, no, what does I say? Oh, it's just high minidisc, hi-minidisc. Were there lots of different things? Was this part of the reason it failed? Because certain things wouldn't play in certain machines and there was no consistency.

Starting point is 00:39:55 This came quite late in the day and it was mostly used for people who just like to put lots of music on discs in the same way people would therefore go on to do with the iPods and stuff. And get the super, the big iPod. You can see, the case is different, the actual disc itself looks different

Starting point is 00:40:10 compared to the usually transparent ones. This is high MD. Yeah. One gigabyte it says and one Gb it says. Yeah, and I think these only have. This is an 80 minute one, so I don't know how many gigs or whatever megabytes it is. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:23 Now, this Sony is very nice and slim. Yes. And it's got a nice brushed steel finish. Actually, quite an attractive little player. You know what? And it has a remote control thing? Or tie clip sort of a remote control device with its own LCD screen. Am I right?

Starting point is 00:40:39 Yeah, and it's faded over the years because it is a 20-year-old thing now about. It's a very, it's a very redolent of the technology of the era, isn't it, with these little devices? Because Sony would start bulky just to get the thing out there. And then over the years, we're fine it and get it as slim as possible. And that's a pretty slim. mini-disc player. It's basically the same footprint as my Z-flip phone. Yeah, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I like that square hand-filling. It's like Sony at its best. Ergonomic. In terms of build

Starting point is 00:41:08 and design and simplicity. Now, let me go back, because some people might be thinking the younger ones among you. You might say, what is a mini-disc, sir? I know not of them. I've heard of the vinyl and the cassette and the CD. Well, I'm just going to read from a fucking Wikipedia. How about that? A minidisc is a discontinued, erasable magneto optical disk-based data storage format offering a capacity of 60, 74 or 80 minutes of digitised audio Is that the one gigabyte one is 80 minutes, you think? No, you can get up to like two hours of stuff on that.

Starting point is 00:41:38 Actually, no, that's not true. I've got like, on that one specifically, I think I've got like three whole seasons of the Shuttleworths and the whole series of... Yeah, no, I think I've got like a ton of comedy on that. I just love the design of this. This one's got all Shuttleworths and I'm Alan Partridge. and knowing me, knowing you from the radio.

Starting point is 00:41:55 All of it on there. And on the hour, and why bother? What's on this one? I think that's just music like Ben Fold. There's probably all of Ben Fold's albums on that. Up to a certain date. Up to a certain date, yeah. Now, basically, to imagine it,

Starting point is 00:42:06 imagine a tiny little CD in a very slim, plastic, translucent case. That's what you're getting. It's like a hard drive disc almost. Yeah, it's like a floppy, though. With the sort of, it has one of these protector things that flips. That's like a floppy head one. Like a floppy disc, yeah. And it just slides into your mini disc player and groovy gumdrop so you can play your music on.

Starting point is 00:42:24 it. Now, what's annoying about it, though, was you could only really use it on your laptop with Sony products because they formatted it in a thing called, I think it was called A-Track. So it wasn't WAV, it was an MP3, it wasn't MP4, whatever, whatever. It was their own proprietary system. Which is a fucking annoying, because Sony always does this. They come up with something which is proprietary, and then hard bake it into everything they make. So it meant, basically, it was really hard to transfer music off a CD onto a minidisc. So they famously did not do that with the Walkman. Well, that was existing technology, wasn't it? Yeah. Completely. So they couldn't really. But even then, there was annoyances where it's not just like formats, like audio formats. It's also things like battery sticks. Like they make battery sticks so specific that like once they're gone, it's gone.

Starting point is 00:43:07 You can't replace them. There's no charge. And they're, you know, hard to find online these days. Yeah. Like, I can't, like, for instance, I can't get audio off that directly because I don't have the software to do that anymore. Sony software. And then I'd have to still change it from the A-track format onto MP3. It's pain the ass.

Starting point is 00:43:22 Now, for future reference, I did pull some stuff off this, but you may regret the fact that I did. But there is a headphone output there, so you could just play this out of a stereo. Yeah, and it's got, that's an optical as well. How does that sound if you just put it out through your...

Starting point is 00:43:35 Minidist sounds fucking great, even to this day. Yeah. I mean, not through that shitty speaker or whatever. I mean, not through that shitty speaker, but still... I was listening to some discs the other day, and I was just thinking,

Starting point is 00:43:44 this sounds great still. You're listening on your headphones. Yeah. Just nice sound, just nice rounded sound. Well, it's digital, isn't it? It doesn't degrade. Sony announced the minidisc in September 1990. Have a guess.

Starting point is 00:43:54 Three. Two, close. And released it in November that year in Japan. And then in December, in Europe, North America and other countries. It was on a track. That's practically 93, isn't it? All right, but it is 92. But it's practically 92, isn't it?

Starting point is 00:44:08 So that's what it is. They became very popular in Japan and found moderate success in Europe, although they thought it was going to succeed the cassette tape as the new modern format and, you know, outclass CDs as well. You could see why they thought it was. It's a very nice, everything ergonomically about it is lovely, better than cassettes, you know, I think. I think they have a longer shelf life because, you know, obviously over time cassettes do degrade and you get the hiss. This is none of that, you know?

Starting point is 00:44:32 Yes, but CD's rot. Do you think these because they're encased? The rot is better as well. I don't know that yet. Interesting, though. All these discs that I listened to worked. Yeah, every single one. Apparently, really?

Starting point is 00:44:44 By March 2011, Sony had sold 22 million mini-disc players, but discontinued for the development. And the answer for that is because everyone had iPods and fucking MP3 players and then phones. Yeah, so no one needed this format. Now, what is interesting,

Starting point is 00:44:59 there's a great tech moment video so I'll put a link to that on our web page or something and I also put pictures of what we're talking about today on our website. His videos that are about old formats are some of the best stuff

Starting point is 00:45:09 I've seen on YouTube. Honestly, it's so brilliantly researched. If you want more information, just watch that episode. It tells you everything you need to know. But his point is, yeah, his point was, They weren't really failures.

Starting point is 00:45:20 They just came at the wrong time when everything else was overtaking it. However, they were massively popular. I mean, look at these discs. These are all mine. They're mostly full of comedy, like Derek and Clive. I've got Peter Cook Rarities,

Starting point is 00:45:30 Mary Whitehouse Experience, everything I got off the radio. So this is my little collection. They still fucking found great. Nice little container. This stack container. I bought from a charity shop about a year ago, just a random stack of them.

Starting point is 00:45:41 And every single one is full of 90s bangers. And there's like, I want to take a guess if I put my Sherlock Holmes hat on and say, A woman in her like late, like 18, 19, maybe 20 put all these together. But these were mostly, I think, resigned to being kind of like a mixtape for the new generation. So people would largely use them to make their own compilations of it,

Starting point is 00:46:01 which is obviously what I've done and what she did. I think also some of their popular, said they had limited popularity in Europe. But I seem to remember people who were musicians would use them. And people in media. They'd record their jam sessions or whatever on them and stuff like that. Yeah. And also journalists, media people. for taking interviews

Starting point is 00:46:18 and on the scene stuff because they were very easy to edit on the fly with a decent little mini display you can put edit points in and you can just do it all on the device itself a little bit fiddly

Starting point is 00:46:28 but once you know what you're doing you can make reasonably good edits on the fly and these were used in radio stations for years for jingles and stuff because they're instant play stick it in loads it up bosh bosh bosh whine it on but I think it's more like useful

Starting point is 00:46:39 if you got above the every man level of sort of techability do you see what I mean and this is another reason perhaps why they didn't take on because they didn't take on because they became more the kind of geeky tool. A little bit too much for your grand to sort of be able to use. Not as simple to understand as a CD.

Starting point is 00:46:55 Bosh, put it in. However, saying that, they did release albums on this format properly released. Obviously, many through Sony. And I've got three examples here. I did have a fourth, the South Park album, but that's lost a time. I don't know where the fuck that's gone. It's probably in the attic.

Starting point is 00:47:09 But these I bought in America, to be fair, from Best Buy, back in the day when I first got this in L.A. These are very collectible now, isn't that right? In very good condition, people do sell mini-disc albums for around 70 to 120 quid. Yeah, because they just weren't that many of them made. No one bought them. No. The first one is in a nice, it's a box set, so to speak.

Starting point is 00:47:30 Forrest Gump, the soundtrack. It is. It's a double mini-disc album as well. No, but anyway. But there you go. It's just too, you know. That wasn't a very good impression. No, it wasn't.

Starting point is 00:47:39 Also, that film's shit, isn't it? I never even seen it. But it's like, what? He's a twat. Yeah. Sorry. And that's the goal to compare his life to. chocolate can't anyway so it could yeah so this particular one has two mini discs it's two albums and

Starting point is 00:47:52 one contains music from the 50s and 60s then the other ones into the 60s and 70s because it follows that whole it's like a compilation so it's going it's following that um what it ends of movies of that era right we start with the big chill which would have a what do you call a jukebox soundtrack basically the needle drops that became popular in that time as well but here's the thing stand by me here's the thing though what's interesting is that this the forest gump soundtrack is almost like The most soundtrack movie soundtrack album of all time Because like, has it got fortunate sonning to talk about the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, The, uh, The Vietnam War? Has it got, like, you know what I mean? It's got like all the obvious

Starting point is 00:48:27 songs. Sweet Home Alabama. You know what I mean? It has all the obvious songs you would use to say, hey, it's 1969. But if you enjoy music, it's a nice little kind of gateway to all the music that was in those eras, right? Yeah. It's like a kind of jive bunny split up. Yeah, it's got a lot of stuff. Yeah. Sugar pie, honey, bunch, full tops. You know, massive hits of the time. Respect. I'll Reese the Frank. You can see where that album was a big hit, though, because it just basically reads like... It's the boomers, remembering their youth. Yeah, yeah, it's a boomer trend.

Starting point is 00:48:52 Yeah. But a lot of great music. Yeah. I mean, I have to come... I'm fucking 50. I'm a proper Gen X, but I do like... It's cynically put together, but it's an effective mix. Right?

Starting point is 00:49:01 Yeah. You'd agree. Although it's cynically put together, it's kind of a nice mix of songs, yeah. Definitely. So anyway... But it's very much sort of the capital gold. Yeah. Surface level, sort of, you know...

Starting point is 00:49:12 K-Tel. Yeah. K-Tal plus. And the next we got Benfold's five. Their last album they did together before they split up before their reunion many years later but this is the, what's it called?

Starting point is 00:49:21 The autobiography of Reinhold Messner. The unauthorised biography of Reinhold Messner. Well, the story behind the album is Ryanald Messon was a real guy who went up Everest but where Benfold grew up they would use that name on fake IDs to get into bars. Weird.

Starting point is 00:49:34 Very weird. So that's kind of where that album comes from. I wonder how that started, weird. Yeah. So it's a concept album? Not really. That's just one song. It's not, no, there's not even a song

Starting point is 00:49:42 about that on there. It's just a funny name to it. I think it might get a passing mention It's just a funny name for the album he went for. I like this. But this is where my favourite Benfold song, Army comes from, even though this became a, the whole album as a result was a bit of a turn towards slower

Starting point is 00:49:56 and more emotional songs rather than the kind of piano rock he used to do earlier on. Still got the promo sticker on the case, which is nice, which says featuring Armies, the first one it mentioned. Don't change your plans. Don't change your plans and magic. The two big hits off that, basically. Now, we'll go for the last of these items.

Starting point is 00:50:12 Yeah. Paul, which I believe is probably the one that's going to would fetch the most on eBay. Yeah. Which is Oasis's Be Here Now. Yeah, the cocaine shit fest.

Starting point is 00:50:23 That's a terrible album, yeah. Still. And fucking that photograph on the cover is terrible, man. It's like trying to be like Surreal. Beatles, Pink Floyd, right? It looks like a fucking shop

Starting point is 00:50:35 someone's taken on the set of fucking bargain hunt. You know, Antiques Roadshow or something. Sloppy Photoshop. It's just shit. Terrible. That they okayed that photo. And that date.

Starting point is 00:50:44 What is it? August 21st, Thursday. Yeah, that was when the album came out. It was like a big part of the marketing was like, the big album's coming out. And everyone was like, yeah, and they grabbed it in their millions, and it was a huge success. And then everyone was said, it just sold. The reviews were like, yeah, a race is a back baby. And then about a week or two later, maybe six months, it was like, is it good?

Starting point is 00:51:03 No, it's a shitter noisy and a mess and overindulgence. And it goes on for far too long. And if I ever hear it all around the world, again, I'll fucking smash a speaker up. Well, you don't have that much time left in your life to hear that. the whole of all around the world again now. You could probably only fit it in twice before you'd fucking die. If I could die, yeah, just getting through two listens of that. Get the point I'm making.

Starting point is 00:51:23 It's a very long song. But anyway, they were called Marathon songs. Did you know that? Hey Jude, it obviously is one of the OG ones. Yeah, no, it was McCartney writing a version of these songs that had been around that were sort of no talked about in music journalism at the time. What kind of song would have been before that then? Marathon.

Starting point is 00:51:43 They're called Marathon songs. Yeah, yeah, but what's an example of one of those songs, like pre-h-h-jude? Pre-h-h-h-jude. Yeah. I mean, would have, in the God of DeVita. I mean, that's a long track. That's like 11 minutes, isn't it? Or something like that.

Starting point is 00:51:55 I'm going to ask AI. Please give me examples of what are known as marathon songs. Doon-Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Doo. In the God of Eda, baby. Don't you know that I love you? Look at this AI fucking being a dick. Oh, I was having to sing song. Marathon songs generally refer to music

Starting point is 00:52:17 that's popular for running, exercise. No, it's... No, fuck this. I'm not playing the air again. I'm not going to go to AI. I'm not doing this anymore. Anyway, those albums are looked on eBay. I'm going to go on eBay.

Starting point is 00:52:26 I want to go on search. I want to know. I'm just going to go on a search. I shouldn't have brought this. I shouldn't have paid attention to what you were saying was my mistake. I'm going on Wikipedia. I shouldn't have done.

Starting point is 00:52:36 I shouldn't listen to you. I would get through this podcast a lot quicker if I just ignored him. You would, but then you... But then I get people saying it's not as good without Eli, now that, you know, you've got, you replaced them with... Maybe they're not called Marathon songs.

Starting point is 00:52:48 Oh, well, there you go. What a waste of time that was. Right, can we move on? Oh, you know what I'll do? I'll go to Wikipedia. No, I can't find it. Right, Eli, would you like to apologise to Future Paul Gannon for having to wait through that fucking waste of time to find out that the point you were trying to make doesn't exist?

Starting point is 00:53:06 Are we just because we went on... Just apologise to Future Paul now who's editing, listening to this? Sorry, Paul. Thank you. Future Paul. And I'm past Paul. says thank you on his behalf. So, shit album, but a very collectible thing.

Starting point is 00:53:17 They go for, I've seen different versions, because mine aren't in the greatest condition, but they're more complete than most I've seen online. Some people sell them, just minidisc alone, for like £90, right? And nothing else. I've seen those ones go from anywhere between 40 for, like, being here now. The Benfold's one I've seen go for 110. Oh, the Benfold's one goes for more than the...

Starting point is 00:53:37 Yeah, because it was super rare, and it's like Benfold's a bit more collectors than Oasis in that respect, right? So, yeah, they go well. Now, here's the interesting thing. I just looked up how much that minidisc player is going for on eBay. Because if you go on eBay now and you want to get a minidisc player, and by the way, people who want the minidisc version of the Cheapshow album, and I'll sort that out in the end of August, maybe beginning of September.

Starting point is 00:53:58 More news to come, but I'm just going to sit on it for a while. It will happen. Get the vinyl out the way. But yeah, the minidiscs are definitely coming. Right. With all that being said, if you wanted to buy a minidist player, you can find a half decent one in working condition on eBay for about 60 to 80 quid. Right.

Starting point is 00:54:11 Like a separate, you can put it on a shelf. and sit with your CD player. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all secondhand. The portable ones, even the basic ones, between 40 and 100, depending on the model and the age and how new they are and what they play. This is working condition. Yeah, or working condition.

Starting point is 00:54:25 Unless for some reason you just want a broken one for parts or the aesthetic value. So I looked up my model, which is one of the later ones. It plays high-deaf or high minis, whatever they call it. Yeah. High-M-D, it's called. So one person is selling it for 105 pounds. This other person who is selling it in seemingly slightly worse condition than mine is saying give me 550 quid for it.

Starting point is 00:54:50 Wow. Another one here, boxed with everything clean. Oh, there's two of them. Two of them boxed with everything in mint condition almost. 5,000 pounds. Wow, but that's two. You get both. You get two. It has this stand thing.

Starting point is 00:55:05 Tell us about that now, Paul, please. Oh, that's just a cradle. When you sit it in it, it charges it? It's a charger. Yeah. But you can also. power through it and also you can run the connector cable to your PC from it as well.

Starting point is 00:55:16 And again, it's a little thing, it has a little sort of see-through glass stand bit and it's very much redolent of the design at the time. You can see why it's desirable. One of those ones, it can't be complete unless it does, has this, right? Yeah, and I've got that. Would you be able to charge one of these without

Starting point is 00:55:32 that, though? So, as it stands, that does work, it works pretty well. The buttons on the remote on the headphone cable, bit dodgy fundamentally works, and the screen the backlight is a little bit faded now but fundamentally yeah I can plug it in and play it

Starting point is 00:55:46 and we will do in a minute however the battery for it is almost dead it only really works now when it's only in the cradle I see it will hold a charge for a little bit within like five minutes 10 maybe and then it's done however I don't know what the states of these

Starting point is 00:55:59 on eBay are for I don't know how good there's you can buy replacement batteries right so you could replace the battery yeah you could if you wanted to but they're hard to get and quite expensive because they're kind of brand new

Starting point is 00:56:08 but they're made in small batches and what I'm saying is If you didn't have that charger stand, would you be able to charge it at all? Yes, because it does have a power thing. It just has a cable. Yeah. You could just go straight in with a cable. I think so, yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:21 Actually, you don't think I can. No. No, I'd have the cradle. You're right. You need the cradle. So, yeah. So I don't have an original power cable for it, but the cradle's correct and the cable for the mini display and the control itself is real. Anyway, yeah, 300, 200, 400, 200, 500, 500.

Starting point is 00:56:36 So, yeah, weird mix. But then this here's one, which is just a regular MZR-90. goes for 40 quid and apparently it's working so that's that so that's my showcase now do you think it's a showcase item with all my memories of comedy

Starting point is 00:56:50 or do you think it has no place in my charity show? Oh it's obviously a showcase I like I enjoy mini discs I used to have one I don't know we've got a wet got rid of it What did you have on it?

Starting point is 00:56:59 No I had a player Oh you're a player I had a play a little player It flips does it flip up that one? No that one you can side loads Oh yeah like that Yeah, it slips up It slips up yeah

Starting point is 00:57:10 Yeah, I had one of those I don't know what happened to it That's a shame Because I love them They're just, for me It's just as lovely to own As a nice warpment from the period Yeah, if it's in working condition

Starting point is 00:57:19 Right, in that case Now I am going to embarrass myself And some friends who will remain kind of unnamed Because I've got a little something I want to share with people I'm sorry It is the charity shop Little Little Showcase

Starting point is 00:57:32 It's the one place Where you can show your stuff So right, I was going through My Collection of Minidisc right, and I found one in particular that I forgot I had and I might have misplaced for this segment already. Have I lost it again?

Starting point is 00:57:49 Oh my God. Do you know what it looks like? Yeah, minidisc. It looks like one of these. Yeah, but there's lots of mini discs. Oh, look, I've still got a mini disc lens cleaner. It's a little thing you put in and it clean. Oh, here we go, yeah. Oh, yeah, like you get those for CD players as well, they just looks like a mini disc. And it's, you put a little bit of ointment in it and then it's got a

Starting point is 00:58:04 head cleaner. Yeah, it's got a little brush in it. You get head cleaner. Oh, maybe I need a head cleaner. Oh, yeah. Well, that's up to John T. Knobsmith or whatever's name. Knobstench. What is it? Nob smell. I'll let it that in.

Starting point is 00:58:17 So I found this. It is a minidus that says the best of Zone FM, 94 to 1997. Certainly does. Because when I was a teenager, 15, 16, 17, before I went to university, me and some friends would get together. And basically, I'm going to go ahead and say it, we invented the podcast because we would get together and we do effectively a radio show with sketches and songs and links and games and chat and characters and play music and then we would get them on cassette and then we'd give them to people to listen to their on their warpmans and things like that they could listen to it and then we

Starting point is 00:58:48 would make them for like when we did our school sponsored walks we'd walk around the we're on raised money and i would plug in my cassette walkman to two speakers and hang out of the back of my rucksack and we'd walk along the walk plastered out our radio show right which you know on reflection is a little bit arrogant but it was a lot of fun they were made for that purpose people didn't mind no well it was you didn't know people didn't give a fuck yeah the only people who gave a foot with me, my maybe like seven, eight mates we involved in the project. So, we made, like, years of it. I had, like, cassettes.

Starting point is 00:59:16 In some point, I must have compiled the best of those bit cassettes onto a minidisc. Ah, it's the best of Zone FM. It was called Zone FM. Yeah, because I was obsessed with using the word zoning things. Why? Because I loved the Twilight Zone as a kid. One of my favorite shows. And I'd be like, oh, I love the Twilight Zone.

Starting point is 00:59:31 So everything that the word zoning is cool. It's a great word zone, isn't it? And I quite like the logo I did, which is kind of like the Twangy words and the thing. The toe on the zone is a target. Yeah. Why? I don't know. It looks good.

Starting point is 00:59:42 Because you want Arnie Schwarzenegger to come and... Yeah. It's cool, isn't it? Shoot it or something. It's cool. Is it like the Predator zone? Yeah. Is it like...

Starting point is 00:59:49 Is it the danger zone? It's the danger zone. It's the danger zone. Are they? Why? Yeah. Smell. There's a dangerous zone.

Starting point is 00:59:56 Yeah. You can maybe get a doctor who's an expert in that. I've been recommended. Oh, to what? William P. P. P.N. Morris P. P.N.

Starting point is 01:00:04 No. John T. Snobstench. I'm not doing your one We're doing my ones You pick one You either doing him Or you're doing Johnty

Starting point is 01:00:11 Now pick right now Right now I won't Pick him or Johnty Or we're done here Johnty Thank you No fuck off

Starting point is 01:00:18 He might make another appearance If you can remember Who he is And what he was doing In the first place It was called Morris B knobhead Of my characters

Starting point is 01:00:25 That you're jealous That I create And you want in on the fun Nobis B knob That's what it is You get jealous Of when I come up With a nice cat there

Starting point is 01:00:31 You do You started this trend With teen yet With adolescent Sasquatch Yeah, but there's narratively important to what we were doing in the show at that time. It was. It created a riff. It led to scandal and danger.

Starting point is 01:00:41 You were sick of Teen Yeti being so fucking funny that he had to have adolescent Sasquatch. Oh yeah, and Bill Don't. It was a rip-off as well as a grumpy session. Yes, you can't. So don't start. Fucking Morris B. Knobhead, GP. Well, GP at large, with his screechy were thorn. Yeah, whatever.

Starting point is 01:00:55 Anyway, so, okay, so I will say this as well, there's some other blue minidiscs on it. Blue material. No, there are some other mini discs. Oh, blue material. There are some other minidus here of when me and my mate gem got stoned and decided hey, we're funny than Derek and Clive.

Starting point is 01:01:13 Let's make our own Derek and Clive stuff. Can I hear some of that? No, I am not playing any of that fucking shit because I was listening back with my partner and she was genuinely upset with some of the things I was saying. And I was like, that's not cool, mate. That's not cool.

Starting point is 01:01:29 And you're not even being funny doing it either. Some of it's fine. Most of it is fine. But there are moments when you're just go, fuck it out. It tips into vileness. Just tips into nasty,

Starting point is 01:01:39 unnecessarily vulgar, horrible stuff, which says a lot coming from me and this podcast. It really does. But it was kind of pathetic and I felt bad listening back to it. Okay, fair enough. No one needs that in their lives.

Starting point is 01:01:52 Anyway, I listened to some of this and not only was it also embarrassing and stuff, but I forgot that this schick that you're hearing now from my mouth, the thing I've been doing for 10 years of this podcast. It came from there. It goes back to about 1994. I haven't changed a single fucking line of my humour from them. The only thing that's happened is my balls have dropped in the interim.

Starting point is 01:02:11 Well, I was discussing this with friend the other night. Didn't your balls come down so hard, that they caused a silhouette of a swinging ball sack? No, my partner shone a torch through my PJs. Through my PJs. And it casts literally the bat signal of ball bag images on the wall. Like the cartoon dangle. Like Plato's Cave.

Starting point is 01:02:29 Yeah. So. Am I going to want to keep making this podcast after this? So I have got a few clips that you're like for you to listen to of me. I think I'm around about 15, 16 maybe when I'm doing this. And this is with a bunch of friends who, well, apart from being named in the clip, I'll remain nameless in case, you know, they don't want to be associated with this. Do you know any of these people still?

Starting point is 01:02:52 Yeah, yeah, I'm still friends with some of these people online and on Facebook and stuff like that. Crazy. Yeah, so these are all my high school friend. Right before you went to uni? Right before I went to uni this. so uh when a levels essentially uh we used to call it a c c cc starts and then goes into

Starting point is 01:03:08 a levels so i can't remember when these clips are from exactly but they're from the like 94 and the last one's like 97 right before i went to uni so i'll here we go and i apologize eli for making you sit through this and the audience too it might be awful but fuck it it's nice in it here we go

Starting point is 01:03:25 i'm not even if to get backstopping judas come down girls Tosser. Mother of a git who deserves to be up the back side until his bleeds hard. And if you ask me, his mother is a complete for letting his dad poke her. That's what I got to say.

Starting point is 01:03:46 Thanks, Paul, for taking a stand. That wasn't nice. I agree, Paul. All right, you just don't. And don't come back. Okay. I don't know. It's a bleep.

Starting point is 01:03:56 Is it in most good breath? Face your arms and then it missed the sound. All right, yeah, I got it. I all do it individually. Dave, deep breath. Breathe out and... And now it's your go, Mike. Right.

Starting point is 01:04:13 Go. Oh, that was a long one. And Andy, it's your go. You dirty boy. Have you no shame. And you were going to do that. So that's clip one. You sound, that's exactly what you do.

Starting point is 01:04:31 I know, it's depressing as fuck Fucking hell, man My humour has been like I know, I've been trying to tell you as well for years Yeah Fucking hell But it's who I am, isn't it? It's who I am

Starting point is 01:04:42 It's not even the worst clip I've got as well I know I will say one thing Go on Your voice is slightly higher pitched Yeah Because you're younger Yeah

Starting point is 01:04:51 But also your Scouse Is much stronger pronounced yeah Yeah And I don't think I ever really had That much of a strong accent Is it Scouse?

Starting point is 01:05:00 Yeah well Scouse accent? Even though it's Wirral and people would say they're not really the same thing it's basically scouse. They're similar accents. They're related.

Starting point is 01:05:07 North Western. Yeah. North Western. Fine. It's a little softer because of the association with Wales. We're closer to Wales

Starting point is 01:05:13 and Liverpool. A little bit softer than it's like downtown Liverpool sort of thing, yeah. Birkenhead, etc. You're going to be really scouse. Maybe if you're close to like

Starting point is 01:05:20 Rexum, you know, over the walk from real, then you're going to be a softer accent. Does it sort of shade into the Welsh accent? Because it's kind of very industrial on the Mersey side. Right. And then as you go, you know,

Starting point is 01:05:30 it softens west across the Whirl it softens as it goes towards Wales and there are more fields and big houses and farms at that. I wonder if the accent is there's certain places where it is almost in between a Scouse and a Welsh accent. And I think that I get that because when I used to live in America

Starting point is 01:05:45 people would say, oh why are you Welsh? I can see it. I can see it. It's funny. I find that stuff fascinating. Good. Here's the next clip. I can't remember what. I only picked the three short clips so don't stress it. Okay. So Andy. And you know all these years you've been saying, I'm the one with these bloody insane. I disapprove of the disgusting and filthy dares, but we're going to do some anyway.

Starting point is 01:06:07 Yeah, here's Andy's first day. Moon at the window. Go on, go on, go on, Andy. No, because you're all watched. I just said that. I think I just said that. I think I just said that. I just said that.

Starting point is 01:06:18 Deja vu. Deja vu. Deja vu. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Why do I have to go first? Because yours.

Starting point is 01:06:27 Nerves the wall. You're there, you're nearest. Yeah, nearest that war, though. See, that was funny, wasn't it? I was being funny then as a young man presenting a fake radio show. I'm sure I've heard you do that joke as well. Yeah, maybe. Nothing goes to waste on the poor Gannon scrap table.

Starting point is 01:06:49 Ooh, we all get every inch of it from snout to tail. It sounds like there was a young lady who was very much enjoying the humour there. Yeah, there's got to remember, like, that group of. people, that group of us were like close-knit making this show. So it was fun for us to meet up every week or two or every month and get together and record a fake radio show with segments and songs and just

Starting point is 01:07:08 pretend to be DJs, right? And then people in our school sometimes heard them if we gave them out. I have like a huge collection and storage of all these cassettes, like 20 odd hours, maybe even more, like 30 odd hours worth of Zone FM stuff. But there was like a, that was a dare thing. So it's like a kind of a pranky

Starting point is 01:07:24 thing, like you dare each other to do stuff as well. I mean, that's the thing, isn't it? It was like we do There's, pranks, play board games, but you're like parlor game type stuff. I had a thing called Bomb the Bass, where people brought songs, bad songs, and one would be chosen to be blown up. But that's that S-Express song? No, I know, yeah. Bomb that base.

Starting point is 01:07:39 Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-D-S-Express. Or don't know. Bomb that base. Either way, that's what he got the name from. Bomb that base. Right, here's the last clip. I can't remember what it is now. Hmm.

Starting point is 01:07:49 Toys nois, doesn't it? You're drinking it down in the summer heat. If your thirst is unquenched, Gabble down, you Spunk. Yum, yum. It's a new alcoholic drink for 90s women. It gives your men sex appear like I don't know what. Men, if your sex life is,

Starting point is 01:08:14 then drink new Spunk, make it go. So ladies, next time your boyfriend offers you a drink, ask him to offer you some sweet. Sweet bug. Nice. I recorded that yesterday. That was actually well edited. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:38 With the music and everything. I get I was making sketches way back then on very, this is literally like stop starting on a cassette kind of thing. Yes, but still, you know, that's the other side of, you know, the editing, the making shows. Yeah, I like it. It's fun. God.

Starting point is 01:08:53 That was lame then and it's lame now. You're drinking spank all the time. I'm a liar. There's one last clip. What's this? Let's have a look what this one is. This is definitely the last one of 40 seconds. All right, cool.

Starting point is 01:09:02 I mean, that's just the problem, isn't it? Paul Gannon tries to do something great, like Nightmare Theatre, and we go and screw it up, and here's a classic. Listen carefully to the words in this one. Okay, today's Nightmare Theatre. About another hour later, on the roof, she could hear a banging sound. Jane was getting worried, wasn't she? She was getting banned.

Starting point is 01:09:25 I hate smut. And this banging continued, and it was getting heavier and heavier. And you smutty me. And so, because of this, I can't be bothered doing the end of the story. You didn't appreciate my time. Oh, fake walkout.

Starting point is 01:09:47 Yeah. The fake walkout. Fake walkout all the way then. Wow. Every element. Oh. That's, yes. It's like the Rosetta Stone of Paul Gannon, isn't it that?

Starting point is 01:09:58 I used to do it with my friend Virgil. Something very similar. We called it Crazy Tapes. And what was that? It wasn't, we didn't distribute them. No. Like you did. And it wasn't as professionally done.

Starting point is 01:10:08 No. We had a proper mixing desk and everything. I think we were younger. We were more like 11, 10, 11 when we were doing it. Yeah. Right. So it's not exactly equivalent because obviously you're more adult there, but young. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:19 You're like 15 or something. I mean, the later 16. I think the latest day would have been like 17, right before went to university. Right. Yeah. So, yeah. Moving into adulthood Yeah

Starting point is 01:10:26 And definitely I was impressed I have to say With the sound effects And everything Yeah But we did crazy tapes Where we just do

Starting point is 01:10:33 Our own comedy sketch To each other And then we'd play them back And laugh at ourselves Yeah great though And we'd have You know We'd use those fucking

Starting point is 01:10:40 Remember those metallic markers Yes He's got gold He got silver Yeah And had the shaky The ball inside Yeah yeah

Starting point is 01:10:46 Yeah Yeah yeah We'd use those to write On the cassettes Crazy tape On the crazy tape One And we also had

Starting point is 01:10:51 A fart tape Yes Which was I don't know If that was officially one of the crazy tapes or just the fart tape. Like a spin-off.

Starting point is 01:10:56 And it was like... It's like your night busing. We recorded a lot of farts. That means you would have had to have had a tape recorder on standby for when you have flatulence. Basically, yes, we did. Was it a portable one that you used? Yeah, he had one of those ones, like one of those journalists.

Starting point is 01:11:09 Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. And he'd hold it against his ass, I can remember. And that's... That cassette play must have stunk. Well, we were children, so I mean, you know. Still. It wasn't that bad. Yeah, but still.

Starting point is 01:11:19 We hadn't started like a whole lifetime of eating meat and stuff. Oh, okay. So it would have been more. sound than fury. I think. Okay, good. Anyway, and then there's one particular

Starting point is 01:11:29 part of the fart tape where his dad came in, right? When we were like recording our farts. We didn't want him to know we were recording our farts. Of course.

Starting point is 01:11:38 He'd probably tell us off for that. Yes, you would. And he came in and he was like, ha ha ha, ha, they're having a laugh, they're doing their funny tapes and he did a pirate voice. He did this whole pirate impression

Starting point is 01:11:50 basically for like a minute and a half. But it's right in the middle of just several farts. And so we'd listen back and then it started to make us laugh that he was just doing the pirate bit in the middle of the fuss.

Starting point is 01:12:01 Thinking he was doing a bit for your little comedy show. No, it was whimsy. I wish I could get hold of a crazy tape and you know what? Virgil's sister did say she'd found something in a box. I'll have to...

Starting point is 01:12:10 Mate, do you know how much money you could get for that crazy tape of him being a pirate? That'd be brilliant. You know what I mean? Rare lost audio from the lead band member of yes. Yeah. Ar!

Starting point is 01:12:20 So... Ar, ah, ar, ar, ar. Rewind. Anyway, it would be great to find some... Well, if you ever find them, bring them, we'll put them on the show. I'm sure she's got something. Find out, we'll put them on the show. But like I say, it was younger, and it was less, uh, had less format than that.

Starting point is 01:12:35 Yeah. But it was similar. The prank, that prank reminded me, the mooning. Yeah. Because we would sort of do similar. Kids do that sort of stuff. Yeah. But this, this was my fledgling interest in radio and audio.

Starting point is 01:12:46 And I would argue that although it's, you know, been in my life since then to this day, I would also argue, maybe creatively I haven't grown, much. You have not. No. But them's my memories, and that old Gannon's episode of Cheap Show this week. He's doing the voice. That's the same voice.

Starting point is 01:13:02 We're doing your West Country voice, just like in that last bit. Oh, God. Anyway, thanks for that, mate. No, I'm thank you for sitting through my memories. I hope you enjoyed my memories too. I've shared them with you, and that makes me vulnerable, so don't take advantage of it. It takes me vulnerable. I've opened myself up to you.

Starting point is 01:13:21 To what? Not to you. To them listening. To what? To my vulnerabilities. That was shit. And my honesty. They know your shit.

Starting point is 01:13:28 They already knew you were shit before this. All right, mate, cry, all right? It's a weird schildenfreude thing that people fucking listen to us for anyway. Look at these sad men. Do I mind not parting the curtains of this too much? I part the Fanny. Oh, there we go.

Starting point is 01:13:42 Back to Fanny. Eli's favourite full stop of a sentence. Fanny. Fanny. Fanny. Hey, mate, we're only two weeks away from episode. 450. Oh. Oh, it's going to be a good episode and a little link right into the album, almost like a prequel, almost, a prequel to the events of the album. Very much leading straight

Starting point is 01:14:04 into the events of the album. And people will be getting their albums soon. By all means, listen to it. By all means, listen to it as soon as you get it, but it's on its way. However, on August 22nd, when we release episode 450, in the evening of the very same day that Friday, we'll be doing a live stream. Just me and Eli, just a live stream, talking shit like we used to do way back when you're in COVID times just me and you talking shit on a live stream we're doing that. Can we drink?

Starting point is 01:14:26 Yep. And we'll play games and records and go off on tangent to do whatever we want, mate. Whatever we want. Noodles. You want them? We do them.

Starting point is 01:14:32 You want tickle time? I don't never want tickle time for you. You want me to eat some gross, I'll eat it for you. Paul, this is a very short bit I need to interject here. Oh, I've seen it. Put it away. You know how over the years

Starting point is 01:14:44 you've sort of propositioned me sexually on the show again and again and again. Yes. And I've said I will never do it. Yeah. I had this thought, even if we were. do sex on the 450.

Starting point is 01:14:52 The only way we'd ever have sex, right, is if we were in outer space, frozen. Yeah. And we were coming together, like, over a light year, floating together. Eternal. Like your knob out, like that, my bum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gaping out through the, through the eons, right? And then, right as you were going to, like, after the light year, right as you were about.

Starting point is 01:15:12 A couple of millennia, yeah. Just because of our trajectory through space, deep outer space. Yeah. Go into my... Yeah, the impossibility of that likelihood. I would swat you away. You wouldn't. That's how much I wouldn't.

Starting point is 01:15:21 want it to happen. I would swat you away in space. Visually, I like the idea of you frozen in space in that position with this look on your face, like that. And then me coming at you, my face frozen in this position, and over a millennia, we're slowly rotating every now you see my eager face coming towards you, little by little. He liked the idea, he's coming with you. And every single decade that passes, I'm going to be getting closer with that look fixated.

Starting point is 01:15:48 Yeah, there I'll swat you away at the end. That's why I'm saying. No, play the Blue Danube bit, wouldn't it, be? You didn't go where I wanted with this, so. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for it. I'm sorry, Eli. I got to shut you down. It doesn't make sense, Eli.

Starting point is 01:16:10 I'm doing the robot, Hal. I'm doing 2000 and bum. That doesn't sound like how. What a great gag. 2,000 and bum. Please just finish with the... A space analcy. There we go.

Starting point is 01:16:21 A thousand bum of space anal-see. What a great podcast this is. Please just finish with the housework. And you can help support this podcast by going to patreon.com forward slash cheap show to give a little bit of money if you want to to us to make more exclusive content. And this Gubbing's weekly. But only give if you can if you can if you want to. That will do.

Starting point is 01:16:40 Give if you can if you want a can-can-can. Don't-can-can-can-you-can-can. Right. So, also images from this week's episode are on our website because every episode has a page dedicated to it with images and sometimes videos. That is Thecheepshaw.com.com.com.uk. That's your one-stop shop for everything on The Cheap Show, because that will take you anywhere else we are on the internet,

Starting point is 01:17:00 like social media, YouTube and what notary. And there is still a link to the Eli Silverman Soundboard. That seems to work. Apparently so. Yeah, and tickets for our live show, October 18, still available. Nick Helm, Rielina, joining us on a celebration of 10 years and there'll be prizes and fun and games and some old segments and some new segments. Get your tickets while you can.

Starting point is 01:17:19 That's it. That's it. That's this week's episode. A bit different, but I think fun. Hot, in it. Just a little bit. We don't need to end on a gag. No?

Starting point is 01:17:28 Yeah, just say goodbye, and that's it. We just press the button. Not, nothing. You can't do nothing now. We've reached the end of our comedic... Wick. Doctor, you've cured my penis. Oh, no, that means I'm lost in the profession of ghost hunting.

Starting point is 01:17:44 No, no, now when I get my willy out. You know what, I should have just said goodbye. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye, everyone forever. Bye, bye, everyone, forever. No, not forever. Until next week. See you next week.

Starting point is 01:17:56 This might be the worst sign off we've done. Come on. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

CheapShow - Ep 448: Tech Talk Time

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