CheapShow - Ep 449: Mumchance

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

After far too much time away, fair-weather co-host Ash Frith rejoins CheapShow just ahead of its 450th episode and what an episode! It’s a nice chunky one that throws Ash in at the deep end straight from the start. They’ve all got a lot to catch up on and it’s been a while since they’ve all been in the House of Sausage and Mash. It all leads to a 40 minute diversion into the sex, drugs and Rock & Roll private lives of comedians from yesteryear! It’s getting censored to F***! After that, it’s time for a classic Price of Shite and, to make things more challenging for our returning guest, Eli’s confidence and ego is off the charts. There is a mix of tat, toys and musical surprises that must be priced rightly and Paul is struggling to juggle his loyalties! One more episode until 450, it’s exciting! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-449-mumchance SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/cheapshow---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-18th-oct-2025-tickets Watch Our 10th Birthday YouTube Live Stream! https://youtube.com/live/Z18i8M3Eqac?feature=share And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Right, Ash, hello, thank you for coming back to the podcast. Now, me and Eli have been talking. I've been involved in this process. Oh, no. Very much involved. Is this an intervention? No, no, no, no. This is good news.

It's better. This is good. This is good news for you. Great news for you in particular. So it's been 10 years of Cheap Show. Yes. And after all that time and your many appearances, Eli and I have decided, yeah, that I'm 100% on board with this. Yes.

Yeah. That you are finally a permanent. fair weather co-host Oh wow So now you're officially Temporary I mean You won't get put on the artwork

For the podcast going forward No no no And you won't put on the website Yeah And no None of the Patreon money No no you won't get any of that And you know

You won't be added to any logos Or artwork Like an unsure host Yeah And if like It's like a temporary permanent Yeah It's a slippery

It's a slippery Let's just say it's not But it has It's like a cloud It's like a cloud It's like it's there Vaporous It's part of graph

A vaporous cohohoots permanent vapour as co-hosts. Oh, I like that. I'll take that. Fleslessless. But let's just say, for example, Eli, if Eli was... I've got... I've got...

I've got synonyms for Fairweather up here. Oh, yeah, please. Shut up. Shut up. I'm just going to say... I'm 100% in... I'm bored with this. But you keep interrupting in the point.

I want to say, if Eli's ever ill or I'm ever ill, you do eventually, once we've asked, like, Biffo and, like, other people and, like, more famous people, then you can fill in that... Prince Harry. Yeah. Prince Harry. Harry. Well, we've got to go through all the royals before we get in.

That makes sense, I guess. Andrew? Andrew? No, we strike that from the fucking record. Right, so with all that being said, we would like to welcome you into Cheap Show officially. Thank you. And, well done. Can I come through the door now?

I'll add in. No, you could do this from outside still. It's the price of shy Cheap Shop Welcome to Cheap Show Still count that in wrong Hello, welcome to the Cheap Show podcast It is episode 499

And with me, as you've already heard, is Eli Silverman say hello I'm always here And I'm 100% involved In decisions In every decision making you have Presentation of the show Just want to make that clear

Yeah And would you like to introduce are newly appointed permanent fair weather co-host within certain margins and caveats. Dream cloud. The dream cloud boy. Ash Friff, everybody.

What a pleasure. Ashley Freeze. No. Don't do that. Don't do that. It's happened before it'll happen again. What an absolute honour. And I think I should take the opportunity. Yeah, you should. To say that coming up to 500 podcasts

genuinely well 450 500 this time next year did you not say 499 I think you said 499

you're fucking fucking number twat you're such a number cunt aren't you you number fudge a cunt I told my wife

it was 449 you know what I'll get demoted again Eli's getting demoted that Ash is going to get a new hot seat I think you did say

499 though I probably did knowing me but 449 Okay, but the sentiment's still there. Four, four, nine. Yeah. What pleasure it is to be here.

I love the podcast. Genuinely, you guys are like my happy place. And so it's a pleasure to be here. And it's a pleasure to talk to the listener. And it's great to see. You both perk me up as people. Well, that's... Cross your legs, sir.

That's what we say to that. I don't want to get into that. Perk him up. Perk him up. Yeah. Will he go up? He has a direction. Yes.

That would lead to a long-lasting, um, frog. you know, work relationship. If he always gets a fucking erection. Think of the reality of what you're saying. Every time I'm in here, I've got... You get a massive Johnny on. I'm happy with that.

Would you invite me back if I sat down with a massive erection every time? Well, there'd be an issue. Depends on how obvious you're making it. Oh, I'd make it obvious. I'd be like this. Is this the first time you've been here since that episode we did with Richard?

No. I think I've done one. He's been in loads of times since then. Yeah, maybe. Load times. I think two or three, yeah. Now dear. I made you the hot mess

Cheese on Toast thing Yeah, that was like ages That was like episode 150 or something He made me cheese on toast Yeah but he made him With all that fake cheese

Yeah Yeah A fake cheese And vegan hot mess I think it was called Yeah, it was all right No it was We all enjoyed it

We all enjoyed it It had frazzles on it Yeah That was cool Anyway so He was with us At the 10th birthday Sweatathon

Yeah but he said in here Yeah Oh that's true Yeah But no you've been here We did The Britain's got Talent board game

Yeah you did Come on Eli Yeah Get your fucking out together, you ignorant, fat, blind prick. Oh, is that your phone not on silent like ever? Why is it for a man who never replies to any of the fucking messages I leave him? You seem to always pick up your phone when you get another message, don't you?

Very quick. And I'm your boss. That's twice I heard you refer to him as you being. Because I am. I have all these fucking years. I am. Fucking help. I pay him.

You've got mental health. Yeah, I do. Why you want to do it? You said you're right. Mental health. You see, he did it as a slur as well to like lessen me. Make me less human by saying it like that. I don't know what to say.

I'm on a constant attack from you. It's because you obviously have a thing against people with mental health and you think it's fun to make fun of people with it. This is what he also loves to do is try and make me the bad man. Okay, so I'm the bad man, yeah. I'm the bad man. I've got really retrograde fucking views on everything. That's why I'm always spouting reactionary views on things like mental health.

I'm so insensitive. Come on. Stop spreading your legs as well. What? Because I can see your mental health. Very toxic masculinity coming from him. Well, we might fucking make better money than that case. If what?

We're on the manosphere. It took a very sharp right turn on this podcast. He might do. No, we would never, because we have souls and joy and love. And that's what we're here to spread. He's pulled it back round. I've pulled it. I've pulled it around, back reach around and I've pulled it in a grab this.

He pulled it off, reach around, pulled it off. Oh, oh, missis. Spunk, spunk, spout. Splodge, gobble, gobble. What's coming up on the show then, Paul? This is the show. Gobble, gobble, gobb. Gobble, blobs, gobble, squabble.

We're in two minutes in and Eli has already gone spunk, spunk, spunk, spunk, spunk, spunk, spook, spunk, spook, spook, spook, spook, spook, spunk. It's him, he pushes me to it. No, I know. He took his time, didn't he? Are you aware that when you listen to his podcast, it will do a transcript of the audio. Yeah, I know. I'll sometimes, it'll be on the kitchen, it'll be in the kitchen work to playing, and my door will go, what are you listening to?

I go, never you mind. Don't look at the screen. What we like to do is confound AI and data harvesting sites to make Cheap Show un-A-Iable. You know what I mean? Yeah. Any two fucking cunt stand-ups talking about what their favorite dinner is, right? Any of that, any computer could fake that.

Pranks and Firth is a podcast that is available. Right, so how's life been for Mr. Ash Frith? It's been incredible. How's your podcast? Which one do you do now? Is it the first? Franks and Firth with Justin at the moment. I desperately want to do the...

the film one again. Oh, yeah. It must be up to like episode 20, 22 or something for you in those podcasts that you're making. You must be doing like 20 odd episodes by now. Pranks and fur? Yeah. We are 10 years in as well. You're 10 years in?

But we at exactly the same time as you. No, we just do it every like non-stop. Poo-poo. But what we did was. Yeah. And you haven't stopped in 10 years. We've never stopped in 10 years. You don't number the episodes?

I don't understand. Why aren't we having a number off here? I'll tell you what, we've made a massive mistake. And we stopped numbering at about 270. And then when you said it was 10 years, this was 10 years, I looked on our Apple, you know, where we upload. Analytics or whatever. And it's the same, exactly the same, almost to the day, which is mad.

Weird. That is weird. And we just do it. We now do it three times a week, two, one sort of on a Monday and then one, on a Wednesday, which is a video for patrons. One on a Friday, this is for patrons. I didn't realize it was so involved. Yeah, it's quite involved, to be fair.

But then we've done like some live ones. And, yeah, we don't, it's a weird thing. Our audience, we do share some audience. Yeah, there's about to be crossover. And this always helps. You know, people who listen to this tend to come across. We get a boost every time I do this. Do you?

Yeah, we do, yeah. I don't think we've ever gotten a boost. Yeah, I never provide a boost. No, no, no. That's not the same thing. I don't bring a boost. Aschens is boosted. Ashens is boosted.

Oh, Aschins. Well, yeah, Varsians and Ashton's and stuff, was what led us to. Even since then, when we've had involvement with him. Yeah, whenever Stuart pops up, but that's the call the Stewart factor, isn't it? It's the Ashon's Factor. Every time. So I, when I've done, obviously, I do tattelogue with Stuart as well, and we do that live. And so we've sold out some decent-sized theatre spaces.

And every time, I normally sort of open the show when we do it live. And I would always go, watches Tatelogs? We do it on Twitch. Who watches Tatelog? And you'll get a quarter of the room. Go, Ray! And I'll say, so the rest of you don't,

because all it is, we're going from an Argos catalog. Who doesn't? And then, Ray, much more. And I'll say, right, who knows Stuart? Rui! Who knows me? Rui. Like, two people.

We did it in Cambridge. Like, it's packed. Did it in Cambridge? No one knew who I was. And then I was like, and who knows what this is? No one. I was like, what are you doing it and what are you expecting? We're going through a catalogue.

It is the Stuart factor. The action factor. I'm more than happy to be on those coattails and ride them into the sunset. No, we'll ride them till the bitter end. Apparently I've got a role in the upcoming... How have you? You're in. See, we don't know for sure,

but I think it's a crazy man at the gas station who warns the teens away. I'm desperate, but I was in the last one. You didn't. You pulled, didn't you? I can't face being an actor. I just don't. It's not, I can't do it.

I think we had great scenes. Like, I still very fondly remember. When I said about the fish or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Swedish fish? Yeah. Fuck. Swedish fish?

And I had a great time. I watched it with my kids the other day that. Oh, the movie itself? Yeah. What do they think of it? Yeah, it's good. Kids like it. It's silly fun.

Do they know who he is? They just watched it as a film. No, no, no. They just watched as a film. As a film. As a film, it works for kids. It's silly fun. Yeah.

I love silly fun. Yeah. I love silly fun. My friend who has two, children. Children, yeah. Also said, oh, the kids loved it. So I got kudos with them. You know?

But that's, they're going, completely not doing that with this. That's true. No, it's horror. But yeah, so it was silly, wasn't it? Polybius. It was like, you've got Jared Christmas who's silly. Yeah. Is he on the circuit still?

Yeah, yeah, of course you. Yeah. Going about, doing jokes and stuff. I love him. I think he's incredible. Giving tips on a great guy. It was up and down with me with stand up. Was he?

But even at my lowest point I was a limbo champion. Mate. Come on that. I segweighed that in. I segwayed the gag in. I think you kind of wasted it because you rolled quickly into that any real.

I enjoyed it. I know, but come on. It should have been more like, mate, oh, your shit, you're supposed to be a low for you. And then you could have said, oh, mate, even at my lowest,

I know, okay, I tried, Paul. I just think you kind of, You came too soon. Just to explain to the listeners, we've been having... Here's what he needs to explain. Eli stole my gag, wants to pass it off. And when he did pass it off, he fucking called it. I was here.

I don't think he stole it. You only laughed because you knew the context of why. I asked permission. I said, can I do gag? I say, get it go. As an outsider, I think you worked on that beautifully together. It was actually really nice to watch. The two of you working in Harmony,

if this was a writer's room, you made the perfect joke together. And I know you'd got to deliver it. But you handed over the rights to that joke. I did. I sold it off. You did. I was like, Barry Cryer. Barber,

Babur, Babur, make fun of my, my, my speech impediments why I don't you? It's fun that, isn't it?

It's fun, that mental health and speech impediments, Mr. Silverman. Look at you laughing at that. Aren't you horrible? I'm not, it wasn't everybody.

I think everyone has a right to everything. Yeah, you do. Apart from sound mental health and a working gob. Listen, You and I both know

Reality we help people who have vulnerabilities in the mental health We don't like to talk about it, do you? Well, Eli does just think. Yeah, he does. There's a couple of jokes you both worked on together, really beautiful. I've worked in writing groups

and that was about as good as I've ever seen it at work. Oh, that's nice of you to say. We bounce it back, don't we? Bounce it back. Juba jibu-jib-jab-di-bo-bo-bibu-w. I had a revelation because, I think it was last, was it last year of this year?

this year, I started doing some writing with someone. Oh, yeah. And there was... For your stand-up? Not for my stand-up, for another, for a... So you're helping them, you're punching up their stuff. Yes. And I'd never done it like that. I've worked on people's shows before, I think, but never quite as involved as this.

And I saw, so it was me, two other comedians and the guy who's going on tour. And we all watched this guy's preview show. and we'd made notes and then we commented as it went. And I'd never worked like that before. And when it started, the first person spoke and it was the worst thing I've ever heard. Like, you know, like, they say something in my head. And I'm like, why have you said that out loud?

And we're getting paid, like, it's nice. But I was like, oh, my God, that's so embarrassing. Why has he said that? And then the next person said something. I'm like, Jesus Christ, what is going on? And then I said something. And then I sort of, I thought, yeah and I've worked on that

but I'd written that and I've worked on it worked on it and then the third thing like the next thing was said and we all laugh and then that gets written down and then the next thing falls flat and then the next thing said

and I was like oh that's like yes anding but you have to let the shit come through but I just had never been in that position before. You're not actually performing when you put the idea forward no you're just going

your workshop you can throw more shit at it yeah you have to shit at the wool see what sticks But I had so naive I was like I can't believe that he's even said that out of light

but you have to because it's a different because you're used to like whatever being on stage yeah yeah that's the thing you don't think about

saying something let's just give an example of that I'll go with the precinct no please and then you've got to improve it and then Ash has to make it

no oh God oh God the pressure about this even at my lowest point I'm still a limbo champion

yeah there you go I think it was really beautifully done. What was the other joke you worked on together really nice thing? I don't know. I can't remember.

Did you remember? Did we do another way? Yeah, you did. Because we were basically talking about the comedy fringe gags of the thing. We were riffing on that.

The jokes of the fringe, which says, moved home. Moved home. But apparently it's all done beforehand and it's all, it's all not very... Yeah, they've also...

They're not actual jokes. No. They have to appear on the fringe or they're just a list of jokes. Well, that's the point. Yeah, some of it, you go to your PR company and you say,

so they will go to the newspapers and say here are their jokes they've submitted and so you'll sometimes get the joke of the fringe announced before the fringe starts or the the lineup of it is announced before the fringe starts which is ridiculous because it's like saying go see this person whose best joke we've already sport for you out of context of this show yeah that's true but also in terms of the awards like I'm not saying every year but a lot of the time you know who's going to be on the nomination list because they're the person who are being pushed or you know there's that thing so it's a really odd industry.

Edinburgh Fringe, burn it down. Burn it down, start again from scratch. We need to burn it all. I know someone has already tried this year. Someone tried on Arthur's seat. Yeah, someone started a fire. Arthur's hot seat. Perhaps they were doing a writing thing.

Perhaps they were doing a hot seat session on Arthur's seat. You could say it was hot. No, no, you come up with a line. You come up with a line. Arthur's seat. More like, oh, author's seat. Oh, you come up with them. Ooh.

You said it. I think that fire must have burnt some dog shits up there because that's a poopy smell of that gag. They're not all buggers. You said it's the hottest ticket in town. Oh, yeah. I'm saving that for you. You could have nicked dick.

No, I would never do that. Why not he does? Eli walked in and said it and then went, oh, uh, uh, like I was going to say to. We were talking about Jim Davidson, weren't we? When? How? he nicked his whole act off that guy

The chalky voice comes from Jimmy Jones Jimmy Jones, I think it's Jimmy Jones They still talk together Yeah, of course They still talk together Is Jimmy Jones dead? No, maybe He must be

Well, maybe he's now But like they share the tour They share material I won't tell you the name of the person Go on do you beep or is that I can beep out Yeah I'll leave it out

Honestly I will beeped out If you use the name right now Okay yeah As long as it's not a pain for you to be pal I'll beep out when you say Paul Daniels Oh well you know the Paul Daniels story anyway

Yeah, I'll just not put that story in in that case. You can put that story in about Paul Daniel being a racist. I think we've already put that story in the podcast. We've gone on about it. So, yeah, my friend was, so one of the old school chameleons, you know, you've got your Mick Miller. Oh, yeah. You've got... Boy, Jimmy Browns.

Yeah, so this old circuit, they are still going to like seven or eight of them, and they'll go to seaside theatres where they're like 2,000 seats. And they're selling it out. Yeah, of course. So as much as you might go, oh, these guys are racist, right wing, or, you know, You know, it's a thing back in the past. They've still got a massive audience. So like it or lump it, they're there and they're earning money and they're doing great and people

love it. Yeah. And so one of them, Roy Walker, you know, from catchphrase. Is he the one I can edit out the void? No, no, no. You can leave Roy Walker in. He's poorly. It's good, but it's notary.

Yeah, that's what they were saying about his medical results. That's why he wasn't at this game. Oh, yeah. He's in the ground, isn't he? Roy Walker's dead. I don't know. I don't know. No, he's not.

Roy Walker is in the ground. Paul, look it up. I think Roy Walker's still doing all right. He might be dead. You look it up there while you tell the story. Go on. Mr. Chips, digging a cold of the ground. Yeah.

Oh, is it digging a grave? Yeah, is it digging a grave for yourself? No, it's Mr. Top. Wanking off. Always. Dill-l-l-l-l-l-l-er. Is it six feet under? TV show.

He's walking about it. He is still alive. Roy walks. Pulls on fire. Lug off his fucking seat. Yeah. So Roy Walker's had to pull out. So they contact my friend and say,

do you want to come and do these two shows down on the South Coast? You get put up and the money is phenomenal. And he's like, yeah, yeah, definitely. So he goes down and like stay in this hotel and he's with Jim Davidson. and Mick Miller and Duncan Novell, all those guys. Oh, Chase me. Exactly.

I didn't know he had an act to still do. Well, they're doing the same act. And so then they go, their limo comes to the hotel to pick them all up. And in gets this comedian. This name, well, you can name them and I will cut it out, I promise. Oh, yeah, it is, yeah. Working at the festival this year, I read a review. Really?

Okay. So he gets in the car. and they start driving and he says, right, can I get some Coke? And then, so Jim Davidson then goes, no, you can't have any Coke. There's no, we're not doing Coke. They're all like, they're 70s. He's like, no, there's no Coke. And then so he says, oh, when I perform, I need to have a bit of Coke.

And then Jimmy Davidson says, no, like, none of us are doing Coke. No one's doing Coke. And they're in a limo together. My mate's just sitting and I'm like, this is the most surreal thing that's ever happened. So then this act then says, says, if I don't get any, I can't do it. I can't go on. So then Jim Davidson says, well, then you're not going on.

Like, A, there isn't any, and B, I'm not having you do any. So he goes, okay, well, if I get to the venue, I'm going to try and get some. He's like, the venue is full of octogenarians. There is no cocaine on offer for you. So he says, stop the car, I'm getting out. Wow. So then he just, they do, and he does. He just gets off, gets out, goes back to hotel, refuses to do the gig.

And then so Jim Davidson goes along, and he's meant to be hosting the three. showed him, Jameson, he ends up doing 40 minutes to cover for the missing act, yeah.

Absence, yeah. Because he wanted Coke. But isn't that crazy? No, he's at the

Edinburgh Festival. Yeah. Do it off his tits on Coke. Yeah, but what I find surprising about that because usually if

you're into Coke, yeah. The whole point is you know you've got a, you've got a number and you've got other numbers in your phone, you know where you get it.

And you get it in time. You need it. Yeah, but he's saying he's out of his element and he's in a part of the world and he gets on the night take it down with you.

And you take it with you and you don't mention it and then you think you've got just the irrationality. I just love the idea of these 70s, 80s comedians like up the elephant around the castle. You've got, yeah, big break. You've got Mick Miller, whatever he did. All of them. Davidson, although I think he's a fucking piece of shit. He is a good pro.

Obviously, was able to cover, you know. We call it the, well, forget. They call it the Manning Gambit. where it's like no matter what he said no matter who he offends about how vile he is like yeah but he's very good with a microphone

that is absolutely true and again it doesn't excuse it but it was of its time it's wrong and we know it's wrong but at the time no one was telling him it was wrong it was incredibly popular

he's being booked on prime time TV on all the channels he was made a multi multi-millionaire his ego would have been rubbed he would be given it especially by the BBC or whatever given whatever he wanted and there is no shadow of a doubt

he was an extraordinarily good comedian and presenter and presenter yes that has those skills just have nothing to do with being a bigot no exactly that exactly that yeah but and also being a bigger in a time where that was all laughed at yeah so i guess it is difficult because although we can all go you should change and grow it made him a millionaire and he was told how good it was his entire career yeah yeah yes but then he was placated in all those elements to to make him mainstream. Yes. And here's the thing.

This is what makes me laugh the most about this whole fucking weird generational argument of comedians where there's always one generation

coming in and making the older generation look out of place or outdated, right? So Manning, Davidson, all those Jimmy Jones,

all those fucking characters at a certain point they realized the tide was turning in terms of their acceptability with mainstream audiences.

They weren't getting on TV enough because all the other comedians like the young ones were coming through and fucking Ben Elton and Fryen Lorry

and that was reseting the the landscape. But what they did, and I don't think they realized, I don't think it was necessarily something that they thought through, but it was like to suddenly go,

you can't say that anymore as a reason for why you can't get work, quickly became a reason why you can get work. Because they can say, well, we're doing this kind of true comedians tour because you can't say this anymore. And then the audience is there for it because the audience,

we've had everything they've wanted all the time can now go see it with the whole sense of, yeah, I'm right. It just works as an economy. Just keep going. There's a weird thing of this. like there's a pro comedy night in London which is like unleashed or something like that

and it's like we're saying the things you can't say you can say whatever you want you're just going to answer to the... Some truly awful fucking things heard instead of a standoff. It's just a regular gig, an open mic, an edge lord comedian saying this and the other I have never been to a gig

maybe not all the time but I certainly had never been to a gig where the organiser at some point went no mate get off the stage you can't say that no no no never the only time I have seen it is where it was It was another Muslim comedian, Jamali Maddox. And he said, I'm Muslim.

And they went, get off, get out of it. That's the only time I've seen a comedian actually censored. And it was by the Free Speech Brigade. He did nothing offensive. He just said he was Muslim. Well, identity itself. And he went, I'm not leaving stage. I won't.

And he sat on the stage. And when his time was, I went, and that's my time. And he went off at that point. He sat there. It was absolutely fucking brilliant to watch. But you could say what you want. You've just got to live and die by your actions. I always think, like, go and say those things and see how they go.

Yeah. Because you might, I can't say anything. Go and say it, see if they laugh. Yeah, but that's the thing, isn't it? It always comes down to, if you're writing that thing and you're going to say from an audience, do you stand by it? Yeah. In one way or another, do you stand by what you say?

Because yeah, it's a joke and whatever, but what do you believe system? Is it something you're just throwing out for shock? Because then if they turn around and say you're a prick, then what's your argument? That's a really good point. It just keeps getting worse, though, doesn't it? Yeah. This whole narrative saying, free speeches under attack

when they've always had it and they continue to have it yeah it keeps getting what they're saying is we want to be on the TV and then we'll let us anymore yeah yeah

it's like when I see stand-up comedians become talk show presenters and it's like are you going to go right wing and that's exactly what happened with Mark Dolan that's insane but if you do do that

then you know the pigeons are going to come home to roast aren't they eventually and that's obviously not right to get docks or threatened with no no no obviously but you don't want

you understand why it happens if you're prepared to just drop your principles. Just for money. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. Mate, mate, pigeons.

Right? Hold on, here we go. Here we go. I mean, that's the problem with pigeons. That's why they sit on a fence because they're both left and right wing. Oh, thank you. Thank you everybody.

I'm here all night. Joke the fringe number three. That was actually a callback to our history at the French. Yeah. That was the first sketch we did there. Yeah, it was Graeme's. And what was it?

It was shit. Awful. Graeme, if you're listening, it's coming out now. Right, we're going to move on with the show Because otherwise it'll just become Yeah, I know This is our cold open And it's exactly 28 minutes

So we're moving on I need to take something I need to say something Oh go on quick I'm sorry It was just because I know you're going to move on to something But I want to say this I was thinking I was listening to last week's episode

You're going to apologise to what you said You act I just want to apologise The terrible things I said You were talking about Obviously we heard your radio show From when you were a student before Me and Richard Sandling

Friend of the show If I may be so bold we used to record radio shows when we were like 11 to 15 we had characters and all of that stuff recurring characters and he might have cassette

of those I don't know he seems like a person who might have held on to them well save them for your own fucking podcast I thought you'd like them well yeah

but you're saving for your own podcast we had a character called the pilot and Richard said oh I think we should see we should get this on man I'm telling you

if you find your crazy tape we can do a whole bumper book of them all right that's such a long shot but yeah but anyway look it is off an hour in let's get actually into the episode to the price of shite it's price of shite he's dead he's dead everyone all right you finally got your position now we're within the show you can or you first act as co-office I'm still alive it's Roy Walker all over again now now before we get into to this. I just need to give you fair warning, Ash, I'm on the

hottest of hot streaks. Yeah. Hotter than Arthur's seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am after it burnt down. I love it we get topical for the podcast. We stick with it. And a year from now, no one's going to make any contact on. That was. That was. Yeah, it's not tropical, isn't it? I... I'm hot.

I'm on the hot streak. I'm pet swings. I've got pet wings. I'll think, I will mention why Paul's writing. Just a little peep behind the of Cheap Show, they actually stop the recording when they say we're going into another section. I've just, I don't know those people I've never really observed

that. You actually press a button to stop it and then... It's his whole control thing. There is a break between the bits. He's editing it in the future in his mind as he's making the podcast. And then it goes like this, shut up, pressing the button. That's why I always say fucking press the fucking press the button. He said... He has to decide when to press the button. You think

oh, I'll just do another bit. No, he's pressed the button already. That bit's gone forever. Stopping it. He also, listener, does the thing where it goes, right,

we're going to start recording in three and then holds up five fingers and goes through four, three two one of dusty bin,

what's it called? That'll be three to one. Yeah, he's going to be there. You slow that down, I've seen it. It's just a mess, he's just doing that.

And everyone used to be like, fucking that was great. He's mad. Do you think when he was in bed with a lady, you think they always said,

oh, come on Ted, give me the old three, two one. And he's like, Ted Rogers, I know he does. Oh, he's got all the salacious

ancient comedian goss Yeah And they Is he still war He's not No he's dead He's in a dusty bin He's in a bin

He's in a dust ashy bin God that'd be depressing though If like you hate dusty bin But when you die You are carried in a You're a main age out of They should have Do you think it's weird

Like if you play a character And that character Get you like you know Like the crankies They were sex people and still are apparently What was that thing we saw where Jimmy was trying to do a different

catchphrase or something didn't catch on Abidubi daisy We're trying to just squeeze in a new one Like later on in their career What was the one? What was the one?

Fandabi doze Yeah it was like Abidipidavidazi Oh was this recent or is it like Oh it's like in the 18 They had their own kids show Abacadubah Yeah so they love sex and stuff

But don't you think it's weird? Like, if you play a character and then someone wants to have sex with that character, like, would that, like, the Chuckle Brothers, because apparently one of them was like a sex guy, wasn't he? Have you not heard the story? Like, well, look, this story up about the service station, Chuckle Brothers.

Oh, dogging. No one. No. So there's this story. Again, it might be apocryphal, but I think it was in the news. I'm getting odd. He got clouted around the head with a wrench in a, service station car park because a guy came back to the car and found one of the Chuckle

brothers having sex with his wife in a car. I'm like, how has that played out? How has that possibly happened? I know how it played out. He heard in the back seat to me. To me. To me. To me. To me. That might be salacious. It is salacious. Well, it is salacious. How do you get at a petrol station with your wife going on just getting a sandwich? And then come back and they're having to say how's that How can you? That's like a dream nightmare. Yeah. That's not like a real thing that happened in real life. Well, it's a bit like, you know, James Eckaster's girlfriend left him for Aaron Atkinson.

Yeah, that's depressing. And him just going, well, I can't even be angry. She went off with Mr. Bean. How do I move on? How can you be angry? There must have been a bit of an age gap there. Yeah, it was a bit of an age gap. Yeah.

It's disgusting. But how can you even, it's like, oh, well, that's just ludicrous of that happened. So I just accept it. At your door at home, you pop out, you said, I'm just going to go to the shop and get some milk. You come back and your wife's in bed with Rod All. What do you do? You don't know what to do.

There's somebody up the door. And it's this orgasm. And then from between their legs and the emucus. What was the witch? What's the witch called? Scrot bags. Grot bags. Oh, she died yesterday.

What? She died ages ago. What? Years ago. No. She's Gary and Margo Lis. No. She was at the fringe, Margalis.

Oh yeah, she's fine. She's pointing out who you. knows at the fringe. Margulies is at the fringe heading up the older comedian contingent. Sex people and comedians go hand in hand. Because Stuart Millard does it in one of his videos where it's like Wayne Dobson comedian while he was ill or something in a room. It's like, so Bobby Davo had sex with Wayne Dobson's wife while Wayne Dobson was ill in another room. And you know what? That's the worst thing I hear about Bobby Davro today. It'll be a shocking, shocking, shocking turn of events. Why are they all doing it? I don't know. They're all on tour. They're all on pantos.

I was fucking giving it the beans to each other. I was in a green room once and Shane Ritchie said, hands up if you've ever had sex with a Nolan sister and put his handoff because he was married to a Nolan sister. Oh, my God for that. And we all laughed. And then he went, hands up if you've had sex with two Nolan sisters. What kind of opening gambits that?

Well, it's just to break the ice. Isn't it foy? Is it a bit funny? I don't want to know where Shane Ritchie puts his cock. Now, if we're going to look at actual reasons for this. Yeah. Right. Don't you know the highest,

rate of like STDs are in these retirement homes Yes, because a lot of the time you end up in a retirement home your partner, life partners in the ground death partner

Yeah, maybe who dead partner And then you haven't got that long I do Daisy in the next unit You can't just pop into Daisy's unit When you say do Daisy in the next unit Do you mean bum sex? Well, the next unit

becomes euphemism You know what I mean, not Daisy So I was in the green room A different green room with Yeah Oh no, shall I? Shall I leave his name in? Come on, we love this.

So he said, he invited my wife to go with him to the British Television Awards because he was like, oh, I've got to go to the British Television Awards. And my wife was like, oh, I'd love to go to that. And he went, I've got a spare ticket, come. And then he said, last time I went to the British Television Awards, I ended up sleeping with, and I will ask for this to be edited again. I'm sorry. Yeah, so he said,

And then was in the room And he went I The British TV awards And it was like And then he said He said

In He said She loves a comedian She's also done We need to get to one of these Fucking award shows mate I would Leticia's not my type

I don't think I could be nuts deep In an East end up Right Let's do the fucking Let's do the fucking price of shite. Okay.

It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. That's right. Right. You know how it goes. Petwings are points.

How to, Eli, how does Ash get petwings? Well, Petwings are the points in this game, Ash. You want to score as more. Petwings as more as possible. Ptwis possible. As most as possible. As possible most. You're like your knee.

I've got slightly clicky knee. There we go. You're not in pain. I'm not in any pain. No, I'm just going to stretch it out. I don't want to kick the table, all these wires. Yes, have a stretch there. Now, done.

We'll be guessing a number of, uh, is this a bespoke price of show? It is. It's been formulated by a P.O. box person. Maybe you read it and then we'll talk about the scoring. Yeah, so do that. Yeah. He knows the scoring system. You're telling me?

I know. I thought it's for the listener. I know. They know as well. No, we need proof that you know. Otherwise, your offer will be received. How do you score one particular? How do you score one particular?

swing how do you score one between one per twing by getting within three of the three points of the price bang on three points three points three pen three this is no 25 points for bang on 25 p either way yeah yeah two the actual price it earns you a between one per twing but then if you get it bang on that is a double between two between you get two betwiings okay that's it when i say 25 points i meant pens you said three points yeah so why the way the way It was kind of a bit embarrassing It's really embarrassing And three prices.

Three prices either side. I would... I would quit every week. I would quit now, mate. You're just digging deeper. You know? I've listened to 498 episodes. It feels like you've done more than this.

I mean... I'm not getting into it. Right, here's the letter. Here's the letter. Okay. This comes from David and Lisa in Norwich who's said us things before, so thank you David and Lisa.

Hello, cheap show lads. We've made you a little. low-budget price of shite price match edition. Oh. I love it when couples listen, didn't you? Yeah. How do they... No, no, Paul.

They fuck when they listen to us. I know, I bet those two things. Right, enclosed are a set of price tags for each of you to pair up to the items. Wasn't what I was going to say. That's what you need to be aware of in that you'll be given prices to match to items. Okay. So we're going to be guessing our own prices.

I wonder what those little clear plastic baggies were in here, nice flat. There is a quid game. gambit in the mix, kinder. Though we decided to give you price tags as the prices are so low, you wouldn't go 25p either way, with the whole shop coming to £2.80. The whole shop.

The whole collection. That's the roof, the ceiling. So between... We cannot betwing, because there is nothing... No, you can betwing, but it won't be based on a 25p out either way. What about three point out? Don't walk into the podcast,

499 episodes in. And then slapping rules down Anyway, so the whole thing comes to 280 There is also a three item thrown in as an extra wild card That we found in the car park outside

Don't worry, we've cleaned it Do you remember when you found a tie You did a... Oh, I found a tie Oh, was it you? It was lying by some shit No, not lying by it Lying on it

It was white dog shit though, wasn't it? No, it was kind of like a kind of You just found a time But I still live Have I told you? Oh, this is another story I don't know if it's time to get into it Well, you found some poo

Remind me to tell you the thing I found in the street Should you save it for the patron? Yeah, they save it for the patron one. Right, so here's the scoring Maybe one per twing for a correct answer And two pet twigs for correctly guessing The free items and or quid's gambit Okay, so you match an item up, you get a bettwing

However, if you guess the quids gambit And the free item, they'll be two betwings, all right? Okay, but there's one of these cards is what has one pound on it. I presume so, yeah. These items are purchased The quid scambit. The quid scambit? Yeah, I would like

It's cheap shows offside rule If that makes sense. I have heard it But I can't remember what it is. It basically means If an item is a quid And you guess it as a quid Oh yeah

Yeah, I'm in a minute But because of the frequency Of one pounds are that Yeah I don't want it to seem like I don't want to be It's the biggest between All I listen to this podcast every year

I want to make that absolutely clear I hate it when people come on a podcast And then they go Oh no, I don't know I do know I do listen I'm not somebody who does listen. Sorry.

The items were purchased from a recycling charity shop near the Norwich dump hence the dirty prices. We've got one of them. We've got one of them now.

What does that mean? So you know when you take stuff to the dump and it's not actual rubbish they will collect it up and put it in the shop and sell it for charity? So we've got a

Marie Curie one at our local dump and it says Marie Curie Recycling Shop or something. I haven't never seen that. Have we never heard of this? I got the other day. I went in there

and my son repair, oh, you know him, Owen, he's been on the show. He's a big boy now. Yeah, yeah, he's 18. Crazy. He repairs Xboxes and Game Boys and all this. Went in there and they had two original Xboxes there and I was like, how much for those? He goes, well, what do you think? Like, what do you want to pay? And I went, I don't know, tenor? And he went, no, that's too amount, like a fiver? Yeah.

I went, oh, okay. You've got no guarantee they work at all. No, well, they didn't work and he fixed them. But I mean, that's fair. All the labor that they had to put in. Yeah, yeah. 360s are notoriously prone to failure even early on and it's like they had the Red Ring of death and everything like that.

Yeah, yeah, so he managed to sort that out. They did have that. But also, yeah, they had some, my little son is really into these like Batman toys at the moment. They're little, like, play school, I think it is Batman figures. He's well into it. And they had two of these back caves and they're awesome. And I just didn't know whether they were five or each.

But I'd seen one in a charity shop the last week. And it was 15 quid, the same thing. and then I just didn't know if my wife was going to tell me off and just bringing tut home from the... You do what you bloody like. No. Right, let's see some tut.

Right, so blah, blah, blah. There's a few things here that because he also gave us a bunch of vinyl within the collection. They aren't part of the price of shite. That's a separate collection that we'll go through in a Patreon video or something. These guys are great.

But like hinge and bracket, Derek and Clive, that stuff. And then the sweets, which we're going to do for the Patreon. And that's it. As always, keep up the good work. your podcast is a beacon of light in these dark times and that's from David and Lisa in Norwich.

Is it still dark time? Are we still in dark times? Are we? Yeah, and possibly getting worse. But we are the... We're headed towards a new dark age. They live in Norwich though. It's sweetness and light in Norwich. It's beautiful place.

I love it. The prices are in this envelope. I had to open them up so I could see what out of the box was a price of shite item which is why I won't be playing it. It'll be you against him. That's why I had to warn you about me being on the... You've got a hot streak.

Absolutely fine. Shall we begin? I'm like Highlander two. I hope you destroy it. I hope you destroy it. I hope you destroy it. I hope you destroy him. Right.

We're going to play the game price of shine. No cheating. Shut up. That full shot. He's going to try and cheat on your behalf. Yeah, might. Would you accept that? I don't want that.

I don't accept that. I'll be like, how much you think? A winkie, winkie. Like that. Give me my price tags. In a minute. Gannon says when the game starts. Gannon says when things happen.

You little. maggot, you sit there and you fucking do as you're told. Or you don't get your money. How about that? Who was the new character you come up with last week? It's called Angry Paul Gannon. No, there was like...

Was it Rodney P. P. P. P. P. P. Yeah, William Pee Pee-Pinus. Yeah. He was good. He was a good character. He's not coming now, because now has got any kind of problems with their dick. I know, but I'm thinking of got it with another doctor for arseals just to mix it up. Johnty Knob smell.

No, you got Johnty Knob smell. I really like Jonti Nob's smell. Paul, can we get... I'm going to... My new doctor's called Dr Howard Ars Ars Arse's Ars, Ars, Ars, Ars, Pooh, old tits and wank. Is he German? Yeah, he is. Right, let's move on.

But let's forget the game, to catch the button. I haven't pressed on the buttons. Here we go. Price is right, here we go. Right. Let's see item number... Can't we have the prices yet? How are you going to do this?

Shut up! Right, I've got the items. Now, this is the first bag, and that's Eli. They're all your prices. Yeah, they're all identical. So what's going to happen is I'm going to show you these items. You don't have to attach the prices now, but these are the prices that you will attach to an item.

What are these bags for? Screws. The little bagging is you can put anything in them. Screws, plastic binds. Plastic binds, I know. I always need somebody to put my plastic binds. These guys are going to be furious because these ones say Paul and yeah, they're not. going to Paul.

You got Paul's ones. Yeah, but I know that, but they didn't know that when they sent it in. That's the thing. I feel like. It's okay. You're just a proxy pool. A proxy proxy proxy pool. So I've got a 50p.

Lovely handwriting. Yeah, I've got 60p. Yeah. 50, 60p. You're going to read them all. A 5P. Have you got these as well? Yeah.

I've got eight pound. No, you don't. If you're going to start, if you're going to be subversive. Oh, there is a one pound for the quid's guy. Yeah. So, oh, I've got it for the free. A free. One of these items was found in the garage, not in the garage, in the car park. Yeah, I want a free item.

Whoever wrote these, thank you, because it's actually calming me to see your beautiful cursive. Right, here's the first item. I'm going to hand it to Ash first because you always get stuff. Here you go. Here's the first item. It's a badge. It's quite a hefty badge. It's a new, oh no, it's an old fashion with a pin on the back, which is like, I don't like pins,

but that is a good one because now you get them and they've got a clasp. And you've got to, like, bend your clothes and click this place. Because people are scared of poking a child with a needle, which I'm all for, because I think it's fucking stupid. You would poke anything with a needle. Well, it says Piggy Fest. It says Piggy Fest. Piggy Fest.

Also the name of Eli's Sex Life. Come on, it's Piggy Fest. Paul, sex lives don't have names. I don't say, hello, I'm Eli Silverman. And my sex life is called Johnny. No, it's like, you can... What's my sex life called? Piggy Fest.

My sex life, a journey with Piggy Fest by Eli Silverman. When you're in bed with a lady, you just go, come on, love, it's Piggy Fest. And you go, oh, wrong, rom, wrong, wrong. It's like a purple pig. On the badge, it says life begins at 20 with a little biplane up the top. It's a birthday badge. It says... Piggy Bay's birthday badge.

This sounds like a cheap show character. On the hot air balloon, I think it says, fruity lemon house I can't read what it says I don't know if it's my eyes or anyway there's Elvis wow I want to see this badge it looks like Frankie Valley in the Four Seasons

but they are I think dead the Beatles and Abba and some tents Oh there's loads of groups on it Fruity Winehouse Fruity Warehouse That's the name for a bum hole Well there's a thing here that says

Piggy Fest It's what the fucking AI says, so who knows. Piggy Fest appears to prefer to several different events and concepts. It could be a festival organised by the Piggy Brewing Company. Additionally, Piggy Fest is mentioned in the context of financial saving and a mini car. Yeah, I guess. Mate, stop using AI on. I am, it's shit.

But Piggy Fest. This looks like an actual fest of some sort. Do you know what this looks like to me if it is an actual event that this is commemorating? Yeah, it's some kind of outdoor festival. But it looks like these groups are obviously too famous to really appear and a lot of them are in the grounds as well, as you say. So it's probably a festival where they get a lot of those tribute acts. There's a whole circuit, isn't there?

A whole massive circuit on the live music scene of tribute acts, isn't there? My son went to watch an Oasis tribute the other day and said it was absolutely brilliant. And I think that's the way to see Oasis now. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It'd be better than them. My friend used to be in a Oasis tribute band and people would try to have sex with them like they were the members of the band.

groupies, whatever. Because it's almost the same thing, isn't it? That was item one. Now, you don't have to think about the prices yet. Again, you can attach those at the end once you've seen all the items. Here is the next one. And this one will go to Eli first now. Eli, there's your...

He's added me the item. I can see it's a clown in a... It is a ceramic... It's a ceramic headed clown with a soft fabric hat and wig and scarf. But the body and indeed the vehicle and which it rides are ceramic. That is fucking horrible.

It's a nightmare. It's badly painted. I want this. Of course. I collect stuff like this and I have someone who's actually at this moment trying to reassemble a collection of incredibly horrible, tacky ceramics. Is that Mark? Is that Mark?

I've still got, well, my daughter's still on this. That goes in the nightmare gang too. That is what the fucking does. Look at the paint job. The face is haunting. My daughter is. still got the rabbit that you gave her. Yeah, the little, that's similar to this,

but it's a beautiful little rabbit figure out when you've got like four boxes. Oh, those ones, yeah, those are better than this. That's a better mould than that is. What is this bit supposed to be? That's it lying sort of a supine program. Its arms are out. It's arms are out like that. No, it looks like its legs. Is it?

No, it's his arms. You're right. It looks like it's arms. No, no, no. There's a hand. That is its foot. I don't like it. Why is his leg riding astride the bonnet? But why has it got... So that would be the front. Yeah, because that's a spare wheel on the back, isn't it?

That's the wheel on the back, but that's its hand. I think whoever painted it didn't understand what they were meant to be painting. No, no, no, yeah, that's right. That is... It looks like they had a stroke during painting it. Hold on, this is all back to front. Yeah, it's done wrong. It's been painted incorrectly, hasn't it, as well?

I'm wearing a little tartan scarf. I don't know if you mentioned that. Part and scar. It's a fabric scarf. This is... Gross. Anyway, return it to me because... It's really gross.

We have a lot of items to get through. Yeah. That's shit. It is a piece of shit. Yeah. Right, that goes there. Right, we'll start with the smaller items and we'll get on to more girthy things.

You haven't started recording again. I have. I can see it. He always, he did it yesterday to me. I came out of a great song. A great song. I came up with a great song. Oh, I didn't record it. He couldn't stand the glory.

Although it was filmed for the camera. It was filmed on the camera so it doesn't exist. He couldn't stand the glory going for me. Oh, oh, I've lost it. Moment that I could break free. Just for reference. A moment that would go viral and then I could break free of this podcast. This is the thing. Do my own thing. Do my own show.

This is Eli once again, re-contextualizing facts and history. But it was me that kicked it off. And then you just jumped in 20 seconds later and took over it. We went on a little ramble. And they went, I'm the best person in the world, me? I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything you just said. Right. Now, these are two items, though, and I'll give you at the same time.

But I'll give you one, one, and you, the other one, all right? I don't understand that either. Two items, two prices, but I'm giving you them both at the same time separately. Okay, these are separate items. And then you can swap them. Ash, what have you got first? Oh, no. I've got a cheap, small, plastic rhinoceros. I mean, it's a key ring, but the ring comes out of the rhinoceros's mouth.

Yeah, it's haunting that, isn't it? It's got pointing up ears. It's about two inches, I would say. Is that two inches? About an inch, two inches. rhinoceros, preposterous. And let's get my torch on it again. He was getting his torch out again.

He's going to see if there's any markings. There is any important markings. It might help with valuation. China. It says... It's a common marking on that kind of item. It's a little keychain rhino thing.

I've just checked under its tail for a bum hole. It is a little rhinoceros. It's not a particularly good one. No. Piece of shit. Right, Helo, what have you got? I have one is my favourite item of the game so far. Oh, really?

Easily, yes. Oh, look at him. This is Rupert the Bear, and he's in a little red riding... Not red riding. He's riding in a red car. He's in red a red car. It's a little riding. He's riding Red Riding Hood in his car Ridinger.

Red Riding Hood's nowhere to be seen. She'd have to be in the actual car. In the boot. Giving him a blowy. Red Riding Hood is giving Rupert the bed. As he dropped his trousers or as he just popped him open? You can't see. But Red Ridinger could fit in there because...

Because what? That's an unsavory idea that you formulated there. Come on. But no. Is this one of those sexy Red Riding Hoods that you've seen in like costume shop? She was 18 and legal. Little Red... I'm looking at a toy here.

It's got nothing to do with you or the one who said Red Riding Hood. No, you did. No, no one's thinking about Red Riding Hood. I said riding in a red car with a hood. Rupert the Bear riding in a red car. Riding Red Riding hood.

It's a red racing car. That's what I wanted to say. It's a number one red racing car. Racist Rupert the Bear riding his red racing car riding little red riding hood. You know what he calls his knob end? He calls it Rupert's Red Riding Hood.

And he fucking... Josh is a red racing car. it all off his fucking car. This is very disappointing, isn't it? It all gets matted. The spunk in his fur gets matted, and he has to scrape it off, and it all gets on his fucking scarf. Why aren't you pressing the button now?

It's so weird that they... Oh, mate, I haven't recorded this. I don't know. Tart and scarf. That's what links it. Because he's got a tart and scarf in real life, Rupert the bear, doesn't he? What do you mean that's what links it? It links to the last item, the clown item.

Okay. Because he's got a little tart and scar. And they're both in cars. Weird. So wait there Little Red riding On a little red riding A little red riding car

With tart and scarf Is half a carff is off Whatever Half his seat Off his seat's on fire With half a scarf Half a scarf scarf I'm not gonna

Yeah swap it Oh we did Oh that is a piece of tut Isn't it's a piece of tut in it That is a piece of Tud And he's got number one A lopsided number one

On his car Which indicates He was the champion The previous year Well it's sort of like A side car layout Isn't it? This is a cheap

cracker. It's not bad. Come on. What's your favourite item you've seen so far? The badge? The clown. The badly painted clown.

He's got number one and he's back as well. That's good. That's a quality item that Rupert in the car. The wheels go round. That's important, isn't it, if you owe a car?

I have to say, what really ruins this rhinoceros is the ring through its mouth. Yeah. Where else are you going to put it? The actual mould in the paint, not bad. Where else are she going to put the ring,

I just don't do the ring at all? He needs a fucking key ring. He needs a rhinoceros. Would you have a rhonsus. Would you rather have a toy rhinoceros Or a key ring, rhinoceros, key ring? Toy, definitely. Yeah, 100%.

Fucking. People don't know they're born. Two more items are coming your way now. Just so you know, we've got the windows open and the fan on. So if you hear extroning your sound, then that's those sounds. So the first time there's been a fan below the desk at one of these recordings. I wish. Oh, fuck that, love while I'm doing me material.

Come on, mate. Come on, love. Oh, dear, poor. Oh, dear. Dear indeed. Give us one of your tart and scarves. Oh, hello, thank you all. You're something you wanted to say.

Piggy Fest. You were about to say something about Piggy Fest, which is where Eli has sex. I don't remember. Next item. The listener will remember. Fuck them. Next item.

I like this item. I love this item. This is a good item, this. I'm going to give it to Ash. Because you look too eager with your handout and it was pathetic. I lent a way to get drinks. I'm just in your jokes, me. Fuck sake.

Look this. Oh, it's a mug. Oh, it's a lovely mark. It's a spaghetti, Heinz spaghetti mug. Yeah. On it, it looks like there's a sticker on it, but it isn't. It's part of the design.

It says free from artificial colours and preservative. Brilliant. Doesn't say preservatives. Oh, because maybe back in the day there's only one preservative. A little update on the Heinz products. They're now doing Carbonara in a can. Oh, yeah. Carbonara is having a moment.

This is made just up the road. It's having a moment. moment in noodles as well as actual carbonara as a dish. It's having a monomence, is it? A moment. A moment. It's having a moment. And did you know, Paul?

I don't. Let Ash talk about the fucking cup. That's why I gave it to. If I wanted to talk to you, I'd give you the cup. So did you know this? What? So this is made in England, H.J. Heinz Company Limited. Yeah.

Middle sex. Yeah. That's not far from here, is it? No. Middle sex doesn't exist anymore. No, yeah, it's gone. So this would have basically been middle sex. around here, wouldn't it? It would, I think. I'm now a bit further up north. Yeah, yeah.

It started. But, um, Middlesex, of course, was absorbed by the greater London boroughs in 67, I believe. 67, it just went away. And all that's remaining is a cricket team. You have like Middlesex Town Hall and like, yeah, a lot of stuff. Like I say, just sort of 20 minutes drive north of here is when the Middlesex stuff starts to start. It just went away, just a place that just went there. Was it, a county? A county. Disappeared, yeah. They just got rid of a county. Yeah, Middlesex, yeah. You've got to be aware that your county can just go. Well, it's because tiny. That's because it's because of the expansion of London. But it's not uncommon.

Like, for instance, when I grew up, the Wirral was both seen as Merseyside and Cheshire. But they changed the postcode from like M for Merseyside to C.H for Cheshire. So my postcode, back in the day, they used to be M, whatever, whatever, and then it became C.H. whatever, whatever. So it was just one day we were suddenly not Merseyside anymore. So that's the opposite. That's sort of you're escaping the city.

But imagine the metropolitan area of the county, basically, yeah. It was a county that disappeared. Like that is, was we're all a county? Was it just a town within a county? No, well, where was the whole of that landmatch between Liverpool and ways? So I guess that's a county. They just went, we're taking that away. Yeah, yeah.

When was the last time that happened? I don't think, no, I don't think it's happened very much in history at all. It's the peculiarities of London and the huge growth of London at that period. The Essex could be next. That's a really nice cup. It's too small. That's average size for a cup of tea. It's on the small side.

It's nice. Spaghetti and tomato sauce. They've changed the design on it now. I always like mugs that are shaped like cans of food. Yeah, because this is what it looks like a kind of can. Shaped like, I mean, most mugs are shaped like cans of food in a way. But when their artwork is purposely made to look like the design of food products.

I agree. I agree. And I don't know why. I like that as well. I just wasn't, I wasn't trying to be picky. You are, though, because you keep using the wrong way. You knew what I was getting at. I know, but if you said that, if we went through life just going,

oh, they knew what I was getting at, you just gesture and make fucking mouth noises and things, wouldn't you? And then you go, yeah, all right, he must mean hand me the chocolate. Unchip, why have you punched the mic? He's angry. He's getting actually angry with me. Have you done spaghetti, a cheap eat of the different spaghetti? We have not.

We did beans, different types of beans from cans. We could do that. But I don't think there are many other companies doing. like spaghetti or spaghetti hoops. You always get the supermarket owned. Next time I'm here, let me do spaghetti. All right, okay. I love for it.

I love for it. I love it. I just want to say one more thing about Carbonara. They're doing Carbonara in Heinz cans now. I think you said that. And do you know when Carbonara dates from? When do you think they invented Carbonara? How can I drag the conversation over to things I know?

I just find it interesting. Yeah, no, tell me. How can I wrestle the conversation to be the most important Can I ask, what is carbunara, cheese and ham? It is, no. A real carbonara is made with pancetta, which is... Everyone needs this fact. It has to be panchetta, by the way.

It has to be panchetta. There's a lot of arguments and there's a lot of people, you know, Italians who get offended. What is it panchetta? What is it? It's bacon. I'm okay. It's Italian bacon, right? Use that and you use an egg.

No one wants this. Well, crack an egg into a pasta sauce? Yes. So it's just simply that black pepper salt. and it all, it sort of emulsifies onto your spaghetti. And that's a real, is there no cheese? I'll take it out of the podcast. That's a carbonara.

I just want to say, what. Is there no cheese? And then you put, yes, and sorry, there's cheese as well. So it's an egg. I know what cheese you need. The exact cheese you need. Do you know what cheese you need? I'm going to say mascaponi.

Peca Rane, Peckeratour. Got a cheesy pecker. What was that? What was that? Pecarino Romana. Wow. And so I do know some things about Carbonara. And people who listen to this fucking podcast, Paul,

are interested in noodle and noodle-adjacent things. And there ain't nothing more noodle-adjacent than spaghetti. You could say it was a form of a form of noodle. You could very well give that argument. Unless anyone else brought it up in which case you would find the reason why it wasn't a noodle in any form of respect or side. I have one other little anecdote to tell you about Carbonora. I'm waving his little arms around, like a little despot.

Well, because you keep attacking. You keep attacking. You have to use these rhetorical devices to, get my own fucking info. Sounds like right ring rhetoric to me

right ring wet ring wet ring wetteric like a white wet ring rhetoric like an oven hob is that like a

I'll give you a wetter wick is that like a he did a wanking gesture I did yeah I'm going on the wet wild wetter wick wits

anyway right so all the speech impediments are coming out to die yeah it's fun that they're being mocked and made fun of

my mate's boomer mum right your mate bumed your mum My mate's boomer mum. So he said, they were having dinner or whatever.

Yeah. And he said, oh, did you know Carbonara was invented in the Second World War? And his mum said to him, that's absolute nonsense. I was in Italy in the 50s and they had it then.

Such a boomer thing, isn't it? I love that. But it was actually invented as a thing. She was like, absolutely not. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. Well, that was a lot of, lovely carbonara chat that was.

It's a nice mug though, Paul. Oh, add something to it. It's a mug and it's yellow. You haven't even mentioned it's yellow. You know how you can see this is actually a quality mug. It's got the maker's mark on the bottom and it is Kilncraft, STL, England. I don't know what the STL is.

Kieln craft. It's nice. On raised, Kilnkron, Paul's giving me a look like he's lost me. Is it a faux par to put Tarasolotta in my Carbonara? Is it? Is it a faux par? Is it faux part to put Marce Solata in my Carbonara? It is.

You don't put Taramarsalata in carbonara. I want you to know that KilnCraft are still going. Yes. And also, they... Look, this is KilnCraft. You'll recognise some of their classic. Oh, that's nice. They're in 70s.

That's very 70s. Yeah, a nice way. Oh, I really like those mugs. What a lovely bunch of them. This is a nice item. Nice item. All right, give it here then. Get on KilnCraft.

We've got a few more to get through. There's still more items to go. Still more. One more from this bag. least, I'll just get this one out, because this is a book, and I'll read it. It's a yellow book without a sleeve, so we will never know instantly who the secrets it belongs to. But I can tell you, it's called Terry Wogan's Bumper Book of Toggs.

What's a Tog? Tog was a... Something of Wogan. Something of Wogan. Like, he used to call his listeners Toggs because they were something of Wogan. They might even tell you in here, actually. Wouldn't that be a towel? Terry's old geeseers and gals is what Toggs.

Hello there. I'm Terry Wogan and you're listening to me tugs. I'm togging right now. I'm talking myself on air. Togging off. I'm togging myself off. He would never do something like that.

You see his cock and balls, though, on his point of view. He's perked up. There's a famous picture of Terry, I'm spitting. There's a picture of Terry Wogan when he was doing his points of view segments. And he's in a chair like this one,

sitting down. And because of the way he's sat, his fucking cock and balls are jotted right forward mate it's a hog he's got a hog hog wogan's hog is a to hog it's fucking you i know it's not on to um i'm gonna look it up i know it isn't guys i'm gonna look up uh wogan's hog i know it isn't it's driven you mad that i talked about carbon on it someone's not to google during the show why didn't he do that someone should have told him his full hogs on display it's full fucking lump it looks like a fucking block unit hog it's like a u square hog unit

Yeah, it's like a fucking meat cube It's like a kind of weird middle class fucking mancalangelo Mycalangelo's David Hello, I'm mancalangelo I'm mancalangelo I'm a shit artist I'm mancalangelo

I thought it's me David Mancalangelo It's a book It's a book fucking involves Assonant is outside of my fucking purview today It certainly is There's a preface that

Terry Wogan says here having spent endless years on television presenting Varroko's award shows It's not that endless They definitely ended Well no they did for him eventually He worked very close to his death didn't he Because he was on the radio

Oh right up until his death Like I think he did your revision Then popped off a few weeks later Another extremely talented TV presenter Yeah they mocked by Paul Whiffled down to nothing But he's giant cock

By Paul Gannon This is a rambling preface Where it's full of We don't need to hear it No The Togs this book wouldn't Here we go. Wouldn't be disgracing these shelves without them.

Radio 2, between 7.30 and 9.30 every weekday morning would be quiet as the grave. It presents us sitting there in front of the microphone. Mum chants. I've never heard that word before in my life. Mum chants. Mum chants. M-U-M-Chance. Mum chants.

The togs are my inspiration. My constant joy in the reason for getting up in the morning. And then this book, I think. M-U-M-M-as-in-m? Yeah. Mum chance. Mum chants. What the fuck?

I don't know where that word's come from But it's... Mum chance it says here, Paul. Mum chance. All one word, mum chance. Put it in. Put it in the machine. I'm going to put it in.

Oh, oh, it means... This is new. It means tongue-tied. I've been a bit fucking mum chance today. This is the Mum Chance pop cast. You've been everything chance. There go, the podcast. Bum chance.

Anyway, pump chance. Is it anything of a note in there? Because let's just fucking move on. This is a book simply for Wogan fans, I think. And it calls back to things said. He was huge though So you say Sydney for Wogan fans That is a

Oh no he had the biggest breakfast show For that time slot Even compared to Radio 1 and stuff And his own Here's a story about the big breakfast I was I was doing a tour with a comedian Who said that he was on the big breakfast

And two of the hosts One of the hosts were saying She couldn't sit down probably Because she'd been having anal sex With Jamiroquai all night Oh God Oh, God. That's true.

Someone sent in some, dear Terry. Imagine Jamiriqua Pandaguay. Oh, no. The cat in the hat. With his big hat on doing this. Sliding about all over the place. In his fucking Ferrari. Dear Terry, before the ills, before the saga of ills go away,

here's a couple not yet mentioned. So this is apparently old age. He's in Essex. Essex person, isn't he? What, Jamirquite? Yeah. Is it? It would make sense.

Well, the person that he was bombing is always. also an Essex person. So there you guys said, you know, they probably needed to be in the vicinity. Do you think Bumming's really popular in Essex? Is that why they get the phrase the only way is Essex? Is that where it comes from?

Yeah, it means the only way is Bumbing. So she'll fuck you, but the only way is Essex. I'm the most excited I've ever been is seeing that person in Hollywood's Rompford on a night out and just being like, that's that person. I don't know why I was so excited. They were just there.

Nothing was happening. It was just like, I saw them. This book is impenetrable to anyone who doesn't listen to his radio show. Well, let's move on. I'm trying to skip through to find something fun and it all makes no sense there's articles and just random bits and letters and it feels like he must have gone through his scripts of five years of his radio show and you're just about to

release an album yeah yeah but it's full of original content how full right you were going to get a free copy you can fuck off definitely one right what i'm just talking about people talking about impenetrable items from their show and it coming out of your mouth feels like imagine someone tuning into episode 499. Yeah, 499. Just going, what's happened? Up to this point, they'll be going, what's going on? I'll just leave it with this.

A listener sent in a joke. Well, it's not even a joke. It's like you have to guess the film. But unfortunately, I don't get this. Let's see if I can guess it. It's a little script. Footsteps. The door opens in a German accent.

The door opens in a German accent. Yes, it does. Are you in there? A door opens, then you hear a voice, German accent. Are you in there? Nine, okay. Door closes, footsteps, door opens. Are you in, sir?

Nine, okay. Door closes. Footsteps, heels, click. I am sorry, mine, Capitan. And that cannot find him anywhere. Oh, I thought it was going to be Anne Frank. No, the answer. I know he's just half searching.

The answer is, Schindler's lost. Oh my God, that can't be a Schindler's list. Oh, sorry, I'm sorry, that's not, that's not from the book. That's not from Wogan's book.

That's from the paper's gag of the fringe. I've read the wrong one out there. I apologize. Can you just say, that wasn't really in there, was it? Yeah, yeah. Shindler's lost. They've not printed that. Yeah.

They're printed it and then I said it out loud. Hang on, when was this book made? Like early 2000s must be. how was there a market for this and how's that joke making it in a Terry Wogan book Shindler's lost Oh, 96 this book first published

When did Shindler's this come out? 93-94 Same year as Jurassic Park Yeah How is that joke got through any copyrighter And they've not gone no Terry That's in bad taste There was another one here

For some to do with Reservoir dogs They let that go in Someone would have gone Are you sure about the Shindler Lost joke And Terry Wogan would have gone Yep it's fine Hickory Dickery, this is a poem someone sent in Hickory Dickery Doc, the mouse went up the clock

The clock struck one But Rensicle would not come out in the middle of the night That's a joke of the fringe, 26 Hey diddle, the cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon The poor thing had mad cow's disease Yeah, okay This is atrocious

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown And had to wait three months for an NHS bed Oh I can't believe it Dream of three months these days Right Christ after that high octane segment

So how long have we been slagging off the NHS for? Forever. Since it was committed to since it was formed. So that whole thing oh it's not what it was

it's falling into rack and ruin what's 1993 they're talking about it being in trouble then. British Rail train prices we've been complaining about high high they are for years blah blah blah

NHS saying with that fucking European Union joining that they were complaining the minute we joined it back in the day. Nothing ever changes. We might be living

in some sort of cycle that we have nothing to do with or this is 984? You know what we need right now? Soft, 1984. Yeah, it is. It's really bad. The 80s 2.0 is what we're living through right now.

Hey, do you know what we need? We need to change your tone. We need to get sexy in here. All right. I think it's time to get sexy. Get erogenous. Because the next item... We're going to get well erogenous.

The next item, we're going to get real fucking erogenous on your ass. I don't want to touch it. So we're going to go right now. It's going to get... Make that clear. You need to make those boundaries clear and on air with him. Yeah. So yes, no touching.

Not even a little tog. I'll tog you both off Ha ha ha ha ha ha Right Eli's getting his little sound burger out And that's not a euphabism But he's putting on a record That was sent to us from Our lovely suppliers of CheapTat today

David and Lisa and Norwich Mr Ash can you please read out the cover What you see And tell people more about what this is Here you go Oh, yeah, it's getting sexy Erogynous, the mystical, the mystic moods Erogynous, the mystic moods

Yeah And on the front cover Don't play yet, stop it, stop it On the front cover, there are two naked people Oh yeah The word erogenous is across What I presume would be this lady's nipples Tits

He looks like he's about to kiss her On the tip of the nose Yeah, sexy He's gripping her left hand in his she's sidled up between his legs potentially squidging against his penis They seem to be looking at the back here There is like a sink or something

Like they're in the bathroom sitting on the floor They're sitting on the floor in the bathroom Have you ever had sexy time doing that? Not in against sort of the porcelain No They're right down there Not on the rug Right can I name the song

Where Piss Splash goes I don't want to have sex We're Pish Splash Goes Well Spitter Spitter Spitter If you're in the real mood I mean you lick and suck on Where Piss comes out

but you're in the mood, didn't you? But if I'm in a dirty alleyway, I'm not going to feel very sexy doing it in there. No, but some people do, and why would you judge people who have different proclivities? Where's the filthiest place you've had sex? A toilet.

That's why I lost my virginity. Thank you. End of argument. I thought you got to say, I thought you got to say your own bedroom, frankly, because that was all... It's like a toilet. Go home.

You go home. I'm home, mate. Sorry, go on. Should I name the songs? Yeah, it could quickly go through because one of them we were recommended because he had sex sounds in, but then we found a better

track when we were listening ourselves. There's at least two better tracks. Yeah. This is, they are legit. They're like a

legit group who obviously because of circumstances, whatever, have been pushed into making some kind of, you know, love making easy listening record. But they can actually, I mean,

I feel like just playing that one track. Number one is called Your Place or Mine. Number two. Yeah, yeah. We're going to be able to be. We're going to be able to be. I'm going to be able to be.

I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be able to be. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, Yeah. Oh. We're going to be able to be. Oh! We're going to be. I don't know.

Right, go on, Mr. Mr. Ash. It's erogenous an album by The Mystic Mood. It's really great music. Like, standard of music is very, very great. Yeah. The musicianship's high, yes. Very good quality.

It's a lot of thunder and lightning. I feel like they're a legit group. This would be my guess, that they were a legit group, but the record company says, look, we're going to make a record as a sort of easy listening, like love making, you know, like, I do have a slight problem. We can't fix that. just wanting to put some cream on it.

I, what kind of music would you say it was? Like you said... Like sexy, easy listening. It's what they used to call R&B. Yeah. It's... And you said, like, you could have some funk in it.

It had that song itself with like a pop soul song. Yeah. They're sort of Southern Soul, funk. But it is easy list. It's marketed very much as an easy listening record. Yeah. To fuck to.

And the inclusion of a lot of atmospheric rain and storm cloud stuff that's also an easy listening thing to do it's weird though you wouldn't do that if you're like saying here are a bunch of songs that we're proud of yeah you know it's marketed over the top this is almost like a concept album of like it's marketed as an easy listening sort of put it on

when you've got a date back and it's for making love to is it weird I just looked up the band yeah and it's just white guys oh yeah well it's pretend black music no no let me tell you it's on Wikipedia they have a Wikipedia page it says

There are a group known for mixing orchestral pop, environmental sounds and pioneering record recording techniques. It was created by audiophile Brad Miller. The first Mystic Moose Orchestra album, One Stormy Night, was released in 1966 through the label Phillips. Throughout the rest of the 60s and 70s, they continued to release similar style recordings, and they would be reissued throughout the 80s and 90s. Now, I'm wondering if this album was originally called One Stormy Night, because the whole fucking thing is scored with this thunderstorm. storm. It's just another iteration. They obviously

said that's sold, so let's put a storm on this one as well. No, because I'd be like, all right, mate, you did your storm for the last album? No, but they don't care because they didn't have an identity. It's just to sell to people you know, that whole of that whole easy listening. Oh no. There's another album called Stormy Weekend.

Yeah, exactly. That's their whole stick. Ludes for a stormy night. Yes, that's their stick. Another stormy night. That's the stick. That's the stick. Stormy memories. Stormy Daniels. So they also founded mobile fidelity sound with the goal of releasing audiophile quality pressings of existing music

so they upped the quality of vinyl recordings so they were releasing like you know HD vinyl essentially including half speed mastering of the use of high quality vinyl yeah half speed mastering is a big thing that people talk about these days so would that improve the quality then half speed mastering does improve the sound quality they say audio files say also what they sometimes do they'll put an LP and they'll put it on two discs and they'll put it at 45 RPM faster

because that somehow improves the sound quality as well or something. I just can't believe it's white guys. I mean, I'd have to check the discography. It's interesting as well because they're making all these albums with just kind of music and orchestral things and then weirdly being obsessed with Stormy Nights to go through all their albums. But apparently, when they got bought by Warner moved to the Warner label, the musical content shifted to mellow covers of current hits.

and Warner's modified the packaging of all the albums to make sure there was no mystery that these were records to serve as the preamble or accompaniment to sexual intercourse. That was their whole... The 1974 release, Erogynous, came with an inner sleeve that, when pulled out, showed a naked couple in soft focus. Oh, that is this.

No, no, no. There's probably meant to be a ruder picture inside and we've been... On a lot of the covers... On a lot of covers that I've seen of this album. It's different, yeah. It's cut off. You just see them...

We've got the racy cover. You can probably see a pulsing vulva in the picture. But there's no mention of the recording artists. No, but that's it. That's what went on in the music industry. I know what we need to sell. Sexy soul music. I just find it, I find it funny that

people talk about these days like an AI music library to help you concentrate or something. So you put something on, you know, and it's AI generated. This is sort of a similar thing. It's music for a purpose that isn't listening to the music sort of thing,

you know? It's just there. It's doing a job. music and stuff but it was and I find that stuff quite kind of liminally satisfying easy I'm getting more and more into easy listening as I age basically from that period but don't you think like now if you did there'd be no money in that anymore no it's really strange that that was a he probably made fortune knocking this out and it's good quality it's fun it's nice it's sexy whatever but now if you do that you go oh what do you do and it's like well like you'd make no money it'd just be

this thing that you did in your bedroom you can literally get an AI just to produce stuff if you want background sound or something now i mean there's a lot of ethical questions and stuff around that yeah but it's it is music that is serving a similar purpose yeah but now it's just gone evil there was people who got paid to make those records that took three six weeks to make and they sounds great now what you have now is Spotify going get an AI to pretend to be an artist and sleep music is the big thing where they rip you off right it and you have a sleep playlist stuff full of non-artists AI that just gives

that just gives money back to Spotify Yeah That goes on all the time That they've produced Put me hand up Yeah see it You're boring and I want you to shut up Isn't sleep movies

Isn't that bizarre Where you go You know when you're not listening to Spotify In those six hours Seven hours you get to sleep So use sleep music that we've made Yes And it's a huge thing

It's a huge thing And it's a huge rip-off And you could instead Listen to Cheap Show Let Cheap Show Go to bed weird thing that happens. I fall asleep.

Yeah, the whole of cheap show, which is going to be available soon on other platforms. Oh, really? Yeah, oh, we're thinking by 450, it'll be available on YouTube music finally. Now, Google are by no means not evil, but they're less evil than Spotify. They're mostly evil.

But Spotify, the guy is literally investing in war drones now. Yeah, no, he's evil. He's in the music business. You know what I mean? He's, yeah, in AI killing machines. He tried to buy my football club. Raining death from the sky. You have a football club?

football club that I like. Ash United. We're right there. This is the Spotify guy try and buy it? He tried to buy it for two billion pounds. He's such a fucking

massive turn. I think we just need to kill all billionaires. Just kill them. I was talking to a comedian the other day and he said I can't remember how are it coming back

but he goes, imagine if we get to a day where it's like the billionaires are like we are leaving earth. There is a like this spaceship. Remember last week they were saying there's a spaceship

coming to a fuck towards us or whatever. And he's like the billionaires pull their money and they get on. on this ship to abandon Earth. They're like, fuck you! And they fly off. And we go, thank fuck, we got rid of them.

Yeah, right, there we go. I mean, that's literally hitch like his guide to the galaxy. Yeah, yeah, that's what I said. Yeah, did you. But that's the whole fucking... That's the whole fucking point. As soon as you bring up, maybe we should tax the super rich at a higher level. Everyone goes, oh no.

No, they'll flee. They'll flee. Well, fucking great. Get them out. They're fucking ruining my life for their here anyway. And they're not paying for it as well. And they don't pay. They're not paying with that.

So, oh, then we should be. Because they create all this, well, no, they don't. They steal well from everyone else. I know. I know. There's only one successful way of trickle down economics, and that's listening to Cheap Show. Trickling down your legs from your asshole. When you get excited and you get, it all comes down out of your legs and bum-ole.

I feel like I've got in tune with you guys out. Yeah, dirty bum-old Willie driples. Triple Willie bum-drops. Now, one last point. So now-day, So nowadays, music industry can avoid. Are you still roaming on about this? can avoid the actual

The love and work and expertise that went into making these records even though they are kind of a femoral way I've stopped it I've stopped the recording so He hasn't he wouldn't I have because I was tired of this Can you move on now?

He hasn't stopped it I have He would never would I'm tired of you He wouldn't do that See what he does It's like gas lying And he thinks I mock mental health

You use it You use people's poor vulnerabilities In their mental health Yeah so textually Not outrightly To manipulate me Yeah I do it subtly and cleverly.

Oh, yeah. I don't think you can describe anything you do as subtle. Sometimes clever, but never subtle. Oh, that was a compliment. Oh, yeah, I'm going to take that as a compliment. Ah, you fucking idiot. Right, we are going to move on, though. And this one is called Ronnie Barker's Unbroken British Record.

We don't have to listen to any of this. We do. We have to put A track on, so Ash, I have an idea. Let me tell you, is it good shape? He's all right there. Like, you would think Ronnie Barker was a... Did you re-sleeve this for me? Do you mind if I offer you the sleeve and you put it in?

because I don't want to hurt your record in any way, shape or form. Hold that for another second. Just a very, yeah, just a very, very brief thing. Ronnie Barker in the UK, a much-beloved comedic writer and actor known for sitcoms, such as porridge. Was he a writer? Yeah. Oh, yeah, big writer.

I know, because I remember reading something where people would say to him, oh, I love porridge or whatever, and he didn't write porridge, did he? No, he didn't write porridge, no. Or, um... No, he didn't open all hours either. That was, frenay once this, what them never... No, it wasn't those. Horridge was frenay in it.

Yeah, yeah. And they're still alive and going, which is bizarre. Yeah. They wrote fucking lines for things like Crimson Tide and Bad Boys. They were writing punching up scripts like that. I know. Phrenet, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

Ian Lefremant and Clements. Yeah. Ian Clements and something love fronet. I've got a porridge novelisation at there. Yes, I've got it. It's amazing. Have you read it? Yeah, yeah.

Got it. But, yeah, he got annoyed when people would say that they liked that thing that he didn't write. Right. But he was frustrated as a writer. His book is called Everything I Wrote or something. You're right, I've just remembered. The two Ronnie's, he used to write that stuff. He wrote all of that.

There is a kind of yes and no to that because yes, he did get stuff on the show. But he used to think that some of that material was below part. And the only reason it got on was because he wrote it. So then he would create a pseudonym called, I think, Gerald Wiley. And he would write sketches as Gerald Wiley send them in. And they get accepted and he'd be much happier because it was like, well, they don't know I wrote this. Because he thought he was highbrow, didn't he? they did silly the worm has turned and stuff like that but he thought because i guess he's

privately educated as they all were and i don't think he was i don't honestly don't think he was like a plummy type he's like a north londoner he strikes me as someone that might be a sort of you i don't know from north london i know you are the thing with ronie barker is he liked that kind of british seaside humour he did like it yeah i've got a book of his about his collection of postcards and flyers and you know um he's in good shape that's a man in good shape. Yeah, but still I think I think the whole definition of what makes someone fat was a lot less

was a lot less fat than back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. He was a fat guy, like he was known as a fat guy. That's looked like a fat guy to someone there, but to us, it looks like someone who works out. Yeah, look at his arm. Bruiser. Yeah. Just so, just to clarification. I bet he was hard. He began acting in Oxford

amateur dramatics working as a bank clerk because he dropped out of higher education. Then he moved into Repertory Theatre and then he started doing acting and got a job with the Oxford Playhouse and started being in place. But he wasn't a posh boy, not really. Yeah, but he was like Oxford Review or whatever. No, he wasn't part of the Oxford Review.

He just got into Repertory Theatre. He dropped out of higher education and he was a bank clerk. The bank clerk's very middle class. And these glasses he's wearing. They look like I haven't any glass in them. Well, they probably might not have for the photograph because they might have caused glare, so they might have said take it out.

Very good. But this album is a collection of sketches he wrote and songs he wrote, also under the name of Gerald Wiley. And some of them are old standards, old favourites, that he's on a mega mix of. What we have in? Whatever you want, because some of it's spoken word

and some of it is a music. I love porridge so much. When I got home last Wednesday, I was feeling rather queer. A little out of sorts you'll understand. I found a little drinking house conveniently near, and I went in with me threpancy in my hand. The bar made she was six foot two

and every inch a gent, with a figure like a well-made double bed What can I do for you, she said And on the counterlent And I stared into her feather bore and said They tell me there's a lot of it about They tell me there's a lot of it about Some get it here, some get it there

I've just seem to pick it up any old where It's definitely on the increase Of that there is no doubt It's not a thing that you can put your finger on But there's certainly a lot of it about Good evening. Last year I spoke to you appealing for help for those who, like myself, have trouble with worms. They can't pronounce their worms properly. Now, I am the Secretary for the Loyal Society for the relief of sufferers from Pissmanunciation. Now, the reason I am once more squeaking to you tonight is that many people last time couldn't understand what I was spraying.

So I'm back again on your little queens to strain it and make it all queer. It's a terrible thung to be ting-tied. It's even worse when your wards get all mucked up and come out in wuckersay that you dick-knock what you're thonging Like I did just then, only crutch much nurse. So, yes, Ronnie Barker, a word smith, very much doing his comedy. I think he likes his, you know, malpropisms and his spoonerism. Well, that's all, that's, that one we listened to, was all about... Because he has a character, which was a vicar that mixes all the words wrong mispronunciations. That track was called Piss monunication.

Well, well done. I couldn't say that. I found it very difficult to say. Piss mononunciation. Prismonunciation. Pismonunciation. Pismonunciation. So there was one bit where we all laughed

But it's so weird Like what happened between There would have been people rolling about On their two up, two downs Or whatever you would call those houses And they would have been rolling around laughing Oh my God, that's so funny And they'd have listened to it as a family

And then we listen to him We go What the fuck is this? What happened in the world? You can see he looks faster on the back cover Doesn't he? It does look like all right now We're not talking about his content for this album

I have a question Which you can, just for the record, you can tell that this is fed into the two Ronnie's machine and back out again. Because what I think what this album suffers from is the live audience element to help sell the energy of the humour because I imagine what sounds kind of dry

and not as funny in the record is better with a live audience. Because he can build on that hysteria of laughter of the mispronunciations and stuff. I think it's something you lose in comedy albums when you take something that you're used to doing in front of an audience and then stripping it away just the album. That happens a lot.

Yeah. That does happen. It's why the best comedy albums were either live recordings or they've been formatted specifically for... Why would you ever... Yeah, like the Python albums? Like the Python. Why would you ever not do it like that?

That's the thing like knocking something out thinking you can just do a performance as live is crazy, isn't it? But also, when we did our album, it was just like, here's a punch of music together, but let's just put some linking devices so it's not a completely inhuman compilation. Yeah, it's not a radio show all that. It's a hybrid.

It's a different thing. It's a different thing. It's a different thing. And then you've got the live. thing where it's like here's my live show you can now listen to it at home and I like the idea you know when it starts it's like this like this was recorded in front of the live audience that I want that's what all the all comedy records were for years and years and years and years it's only in the 60s that you start to get things like pie 3 yeah well they have more of a concept yeah but also cheaper and easier and you just go into a studio and knock it out no but then there are people who will just go in and say I know my set works I'm going to do it in a recording booth dry and leave every moment that's always a mistake and that's not like what's happening here but with certain monologues in here you kind of go this needs a laughter track and it also needs this was a thing that Ronnie

was known for his monologues is Ronnie he's not Corbett Corbett So I My favourite comedian is Norm MacDonald And oh yeah So he was just about to do another Netflix special So he got signed up to do a few

And then he was dying He knew he was dying He never told anyone he was dying So he recorded his His last stand-up special Just sitting like this basically with a camera on him there but he was about to go into a hospital

he went to an operation and he died in hospital he was about to die and he recorded it because and he never got the opportunity to do it live but they still put that out like they put it and I was I never watch it like I don't ever want to say it's not

and I think he's so funny but I just don't want to see that yeah I can't see that my question yeah sorry says producing coordinated by John Schroeder that really familiar sounds really familiar I think even that guy was a figure

in the comedy scene. John Schroeder. They did operate in sort of tight circles these guys. I'm sure he's like a well-known comedy producer, BBC producer or ITV they were with. John Francis Schroeder was a British pop and easy listening composer, arranger and songwriter and record producer in 1961.

He won an either noveller award for co-writing what song Mr. Silverman since you think you know everything. That we covered. We've covered it, right? We've talked about it. I don't think we have. I mean, we may have,

but we're not talking about it in depth. Is it that one, Lillipi Lee won? No. It was Walking back to happiness. Walking back to happiness. So, like, you hear about that, the Ivor Novella Award in 1960. Why don't I know who won the Avernavella Award to any 24? They're still going.

Yeah, so that's what I mean. Like, what does that mean? Like, why is that just gone? It's like the charts. All of it is sort of just been subsumed by the culture of the mobile phone. Weirdly, a lot of his albums just, It seems to be weird, like music, just music albums, easy listening. He was knocking stuff out.

He did piano vibrations in 71 with Rick Wakeman. Billin vibrations, Latin vibrations, love vibrations, parties, dance vibrations, TV vibrations. It's just easy listening, slop. And then he can knock that out in a week. Schroeder, yeah. Gangster movie vibrations, which is very niche. I want to have that record. I really want that record.

And he did all of those between 71 and 72. Schroeder. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it is now time now we've seen all the tat to price it up. so we're going to get into the pricing round. I can't wait. Also, Paul, how long is this recording going on?

I know. It feels like I've been in my whole life. I feel like that. That's why I say like we've done enough. Let's wrap this up. Come on, it's point time. And points give us a bit of unfavar, don't they? You like a bit of unvavar.

How are we going to actually do this? Between, between, between. We're going to do it now. Between, between. Do, da, da, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do it, do. Points time. P-O-I-N-T-S. It's points time.

Right, so, as we discovered earlier... Where's the rhino? Can't see no rhino? It's right there. The rhinos right here, all right? Okay. I have laid out the items in front of me so I can see them, right?

Rather than getting the prices, Ash and Stuart, Ash and Eli have been given... I'm actually going to... Sorry, I'll do it again. I'm going to leave. I'm going to fucking leave. Ash and Eli have been given prices that they have to now match to each item.

So I'm going to... going to ask them to give me the price they think for the item I call out. We're going to do it that way, okay? So the first item... And remember, you've got free, which was found in the... Oh yeah, do you want to go through the... Oh yeah, one of them was free. I'll go through the prices I have here, Paul. Yeah, if you could quickly... I have one 25p, one 30p, one pound, that's the quid's gambit. Quid's gambit. So if you get that on the right item, Ash, you get three extra bettwings. Yeah. A 10p, that'd be really important. You don't want to be a mug for that. 50p, 60p, 5p, God. Have we ever had an item?

in that. No, I don't think we've ever had a 5P item. Fivep, and then there's one that's Scott free? What's the difference between the 5P item and the free one? You know what I mean? 5P is the difference. It is the difference, but in terms of value. These are from the tip as well. So I reckon they took a load of shit to the tip counter and he went, that's three, like

250, whatever, that's what's happened there. And what they've just arbitrarily assigned prices for us to? I wonder, I'm not cost aspersions over Paul and Lisa, if that's their names. No, it's not. Lisa, it was Lisa. Dave and Latvian. Dave and Letitia Dave and Lisa

In Norwich, thank you again Dave and Lisa Sorry Paul Should be Dave and Lisa I said sorry to the wrong person Yeah Sorry Dave

I'll pass it on to them I want to see them next Do you not think they're going to listen No they'll be listening Go ahead They've wasted off fun times I want to know where they listen As a couple

They're not smart In bed I bet you're probably in a drive Hands in each other's glands In a drive On a drive Well they pull up in the car And they just wait

Yeah Or maybe they go for a walk And they listen with their headphones Just quickly Yeah I was a mini-disc guy A big mini-disc guy Yeah

I had minidisc car player Minidisc mixer So I had three A little mini-disc player Last week I was I love mini-disc Yeah

I love them just ever slightly Mid-Disc version of the LP You know that Yeah I haven't got a player anymore Oh I wish I did

Yeah you can get them quite easy Yeah you can get them quite easy You don't mind getting Not at a brilliant condition one, you can probably pick up a minute's play for like 40 quid. I don't, I don't want. I do, because I'm actually thinking I'm getting a separate. I'll just have to...

Anyway, moving on. The first item that you'll need to price is the Ronnie Barker LP. That's the first one on this list. So I'm going to go to Eli first, since he's on a hot streak. The two LPs have different prices, do they? Let me double check. No, they do have different prices, the albums, yeah. So one is a different price to the other, just for the record.

So you've got your items there, your price items, your pricums, and I need you to price this LP by Ronnie Barker, Eli, first. 25p. Oh, wow, you've gone completely away from what I was thinking. So 25p there for the Ronnie Barker LP. Now, just so you know,

does it mean you can't put 25P down if you wanted to. What I'm saying is that that's so far away from what I was thinking. Oh, what are you thinking? I was thinking that might be the most expensive item. But you guys, like, I don't know, like, what's the average price for an old mug?

Well, they vary from shop to shop You know what I mean? I'm going to go pound on Ronnie Barker. A pound is the most expensive item It is a pound. I think that is that. The Ronnie Barker LPs. That's the one I'd want.

That's the quid gambit. You think that's the quid's gambit. I do. And I don't want it. I'm just saying I think that would be the thing If I were making me take one. Okay, fine. All right.

Next item is the Wogan book, the yellow wogan book for toads which is impenetrable to average readers. You go first here, Ash. We've got this book here. What do you think, Ash, what price are you going to put on the Wogan book of all your options? 30 pence. All right, 30 pence for the Wogan book.

And again, it's a very cheap selection here today. So, you know, what, prices are all over the place. It's almost chaos. I don't know why I have this feeling about the book. What kind of feeling? That it was free. Okay. Oh, I forgot about that one.

I think that was free because that's the type of thing no one wants. All right. guys going three for the Tog book. It's going to make no... You're dealing with a... Not only, right, am I on a hot streak at the moment? Yeah, Ash. You're dealing with someone

with a huge amount of experience in this particular game. I know, I know, I know. So, you know, I'm just saying... You're feeling the power now. Can you feel the power now? A football analogy, your Premier League, I'm non-league, but the FA Cup

is a great leveler. Sometimes they go together. And he's rooting for you. There's more chance for a billionaire investing in you than him, so you'll be fine. And he's rooting for you as well. Yeah, I'm rooting for you because I want to see him taking down.

So this is like your home turf. Right. Keep the analogy going. Even though it's literally your home turf. Spaghetti mug. Who's written for this one first? Eli is. I'm going to put my quidt on it.

Oh, he's going quid on that, isn't he? Quidgambit goes on that. Quid's gambit. You sure? It's an old mug as well. Someone's looked after that. What do you think about the mug? Quid's gambit?

I know you've already played it. Are we using all of it? Yeah. There's a price for each item. Price them. 50p. There you go. I think that's also reasonable.

That's your best play so far. Right. Teddy car Which is that? Oh yeah Rupert the bear car Tiny Teddy car Although, yeah

just to say Teddy but I'm going to call it a Rupert He's got a one on his back as well That's nice Didn't see that I thought he had a back brace Like he'd been in an accident

I thought that's what it was So Ash you're going first How much for the Teddy car Ten pence Ten pence? Okay I'm going to go with him there and also play ten pence on that

Yeah See the strategy as well Yeah You've got to take Because you get an advantage I get the advantage he's playing every round you get the advantage

of seeing the other guys guess first right in that case Eli you're going to go next with the Piggy Fest badge how much is the Piggy Fest badge How much? 30P

I'm very confident This could be my downfall but I feel I'm feeling it I'm feeling it free Oh free That was free As solid a guess as any other Next is the clown car nightmare toy

Over here Eli is going first with this one how can you even put a price on this is my question priceless what do the items do we have left uh you have this the sexy lp and the rhino key ring rhino key ring and there's like you know remember there's five pens 20 pens 50 pens there are all sorts of prices here so uh so yeah we've so clown car thing we're so off this is the beauty of this game we're so poles apart that clown thing is an aberration against decency and what do you say 25 puns 25 points right okay uh sexy LP the erogenous mood music

how much you want to put on it 60 pence okay 60 pence for that 50 p 50 p for that and then finally we have the rhino key chain we've only got one tile left each what have you got i've got five points i've got five pence okay we both came together on the rhino yeah beautiful what beautiful moment now before i reveal the sporting I enjoyed that. I'm going to wait, before we settle into the reveal, I'm going to ask you now if there's a price you want to swap. So if you want to swap A for a B, I'm giving you that chance now.

One swap, yeah. You get one swap. You can swap any price for another price. I'm happy. I enjoyed it. Like, I'm happy with my, I'm slightly concerned that me and Eli are so far apart on a couple of things, but I'm happy with how it went. Yeah.

I always have a moment of doubt at these points. Do you want to swap anything out? I'm going to keep with my gut. You lock it in. Flora and. fauna all a bubble all a tussle of the bubble coming up give me the give me the thoughts thought stem up the thought so just to just to lock in now every right answer is just one between the only thing you're going to get two betwiings for is the quid's gambit all right

oh so that's not four between no no in this case it's just two today all right I want to make that what was the point of explaining the fucking rules it was said and letter at the beginning it was said at the beginning so there's the point of explaining the original rule Preciy knickers. There was no point. And then making me look like a fool for not knowing them. Right. We will start with, we'll just go from the beginning again.

So, Ronnie Barker LP, Eli said 25p, Ash said a quid. It was 25p. Bang on for Silverman. Really? Bang on for Silverman. Oh, I'm feeling it now. We're going to have a huge cavalcane. What a strong stuff.

I want you to win. Wogan book. Wogan book. Eli said, free. Free. Free. and you said 30p it was 50p

nothing there for either nothing there for either spaghetti mug you said 50p ash and you said the quid's gambit I said the quid's gambit two betwings

that's exactly what you get and it's the Silverman it was a quid it was quid I can feel the power I can feel it mate I am petwantin it smack it

The petrogynate king. Throw some petwinge at the wall. See what sticks. That's the betwiang. Next. Teddy bear, teddy car. I like to root at the teddy bear car,

red riding hood. You both said 10p. And? You're both correct. Yes. Oh, I got a betwi-twin. You got, you're on the board. He's on the board.

You're on the board. How many have I got now? Four. Three. Oh, you got two for your Queen's Gambit. Queen's Gambit, sorry. What's next? Piggy Fest badge.

Piggy Fest badge. Eli said free You said 30p Did I? Yeah Oh no Sorry Eli says 30P

Sorry sorry sorry You said free For the Piggy Fest badge Piggy Fest badge 5p Oh shit No one gets that

I need some I don't think No one gets Maybe you only have one Between Clown car thing Ash said 25p Eli said 60p

It was 30p Okay I think there's no more Petwinges left for us Hand on. Hang on. We got the rhino and the LP. We both said 5P for the rhino.

Yeah. The rhino was the free item. We knew it wasn't worth much. Although, how much for the erogenous moods? Ash said 60p. Eli said 50. 60p. Well done.

I've got two betwiens. Well done. So at the end, Eli has four twings. Ash has two. I'm happy with that. Not a bad score altogether. What a successful game. Thank you, Lisa and Dave.

Dave, for your wonderful Norwich Trash Fines. Thank you guys. Really great. What a lovely thing. A lovely little hall. Nice to have a bit of variation in the rules, one now and then, now and again. Now and then. Now and then.

And my gut, I'm just have to say, the run continues. The run continues. Really well done. The dominance. I'm going to dominate the sport. It's just, you know, some people need to build up. This is a waiting game because, yes, he's on a hot street now. Yes, he's feeding his ego.

there's going to be an episode coming up soon where he will not only shit the bed but his clothes, the floor and leave an overall nasty stink. You can't do worse than a donut in this game, can you? I can't get minus between. I will find a way for you to be in fucking destroyed

in a petty price of shite of the future. I've got a three-year-old who can play this game if you want to put him up against someone. I would love Eli to be destroyed by a child in this. If we're talking about future episodes, Ash was on our original bargain, what's it called? Carboot sir. We haven't done one since.

We haven't done one since and it's a very popular episode. I know. Let's get it together. We've got to get it together. I know. It's easier said to do when I work weekends,

isn't it though? That's the problem. Or you could just get up a bit early and come to a car booth. Come on, make. Let's do an early morning. Do you want me to bring... Let's get home at four in the morning

of the work and then get up two hours. Yes. That'd be so cool. No, because he's a big boy. They might beat us up. He looks like he could beat us up. I think he's not into beating people up, is he?

He's not into beating people up. from Essex. He repairs PS3s, man. He does do that. Okay, yeah, I'll bring him on a long story. Hitler was an electronics guy, was he? Glock and spills. Oh, Glock and spills.

Well done, you feel. Yes, the German mid-20th century equivalent of a PS3 was a glockenspiel. Well, Dan, Paul. I'll bring him back and he talks about it often. Well, we will have to do a car boot challenge soon, maybe even this year. But until then, the price of shite which closes, stores and it's now time to wrap up the show. Oh, but a round of applause for everyone

playing a sterling game today. And our 485th,000th episode. Bravo. And that's it for Cheap Show. Look, you're on stop shop for all things Cheap Show is the Cheap Show.com.com. You go there, you'll find us everywhere else on the internet from that one point.

Also, thank you for everyone who bought the album. People have been playing it and showing it us on social media. It has been joyous to see people enjoy that album that we put so much work into. So if you helped make the album, thank you. You're welcome. If you bought the album, thank you. You're welcome. And next week, episode 450.

We've gotten there. We've got a little something special planned. A sort of prequel almost to the album. You can listen to the episode and then slip right into the album right after. It's all very clever. And in the evening of the 22nd of August, when the episode goes out on that Friday, join us on YouTube me and Eli

doing a private not a private stream but just me and Eli doing a stream and we're going to muck about from 8pm UK time until my partner says shut up it's late

and you're going to annoy the neighbours so could be two hours could be forever but join us for that and remember we are supported by lovely people on Patreon patreon.com forward slash cheap show

and if you join us at certain tiers you get access to extra podcast behind the scene stuff night busing video diaries top tier videos magazines all sorts thoughts of goodies that our average listener just will not get access to

and we want to thank you Patreon supporters for getting us over 10 years and 4 and 50 episodes. Right, that's it. Ash, what have you got going on? Your podcast? Well, yeah, follow me on Instagram. I'm beginning to put clips out, comedy clips.

Oh, I've seen. All your crowd work stuff. Some crowd work stuff, which I know is done, but I think my ones are good. Yeah. And the podcast I do with Justin, you do, you know, just realized that, He doesn't believe everything he says, but he does like...

Making lists about sexual offence. Yeah, exactly that. Yeah, weird. And what else? I will eventually do... I'd watch that again. I just haven't done. And also, the thing I do with Asians.

Did you ever get an invite to do that podcast? No, I want you to both to do it. That'd be amazing. Just as I was about to, I'll just stop doing it. And a tattelogue with Aschens, which we've not done for a while, but we'll be doing soon, hopefully. Is that online? Because I know you did the show, was it last year?

We never recorded it to go out live. We just did it live. Shame. Yeah, that's it. Just film in Instagram, that's great. Ashrith, on the Instagrams, look for him. And his podcast, we're sure it gets the cheap show Thumb of Approval for whatever that's worth. The Cheap Show Thumb of Approval.

Yeah, this. He's been doing this all day. Have you noticed? The wrong word. What's wrong with the thumb of approval? It's not something people say. That's what's wrong with it, Paul. You keep using.

the wrong word. It does my head in. I'm a language user. I like precision in language. When we work that joke out, yeah? How can you fucking say that when you're all, ah, quim-fark, clungy, look, that's precise nonsense.

It's not just the word, not the word for the job, which you do constantly. Long-glown-a-shed-shed, it makes me angry. Love you, love you, love you all, the thumb of approval. Pure canonism. It's fine.

It's not fine. When people say, the thumb of approval, they know what I'm getting. You do the thumb of approval. It's the seal. The seal of approval. That is an egg corn. You've done an egg corn.

It's not. I'm not doing an egg corn. You've done a big, stinky egg corn. It's a thumb of approval. It's a thumb of approval. What's that? What's that then? Thumb of disapproval.

What's that? Facing out, thumb of... Ambivalence. Ambivalence, yeah. The thumb of disapproval is a sadomasochistic game. Thumbivalence. That's what it is. Thumbivalence, thumb bivul.

Thumbival. Thumbival. Thumb sad Thumb bad Thumb bad Anyway I've been promised to copy of the album I'm waiting

What are you doing? I've been promised a copy of this album Do you want me to give him his My version I was probably Because he specifically messaged me I did you want one And I just forgot to bring it

You can have to send him one then I'll send you one It's fine I'll send you one It's got ten sleeves coming Are those coming? Yeah I've got they arrived just now Actually I've just got an email Say they've arrived just now

Are they're going to be any good Because they might Yeah they're from Diggers factory All right They're recommended They're they sent us theirs They sent us theirs They sent us their

the one that they would send them out to. Okay. Have they got the thumb of approval? Yeah, they get the thumb of approval. Like that. I went like that. All right, mate. Here's the thumb of approval.

Can I have it signed? What, the nubbin of approval. The bum. The bum of approval. Can I have it signed? Yeah. What the album or his nubbing? The gooch kiss.

The go to, do you want to gooch kiss? He's going to nick it. No. I say gooch kiss. He wants to nick it. What does that mean? Is that you mean you press it against you? We all know.

We have an unwiped bumphole and the gooch kiss leaves a brown kiss. I don't wish I Like Marilynne Bob Rowe Marilynne Bumrow Marilyn Bum Rowe Marilyn Bum hole That's how we're ending this week's episode

See you for 45 Bye bye bye bye Poop peepoop Pooop Pooopi doop I want to be bombed by I love you And nobody else you house but you

press the button just press the button please press the button happy birthday Mr President that's just that's just there say that pegging is a girl's best friend

Some like it hot Right up there, bot Is that what we want to go with? I'll have cut out of this by then anyway Bye everyone, bye