CheapShow - Ep 451: The Podcast After The Night Before

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

Episode 450 was a big success and Eli and Paul celebrated accordingly. Until they didn’t. Following the live stream party, Paul went way too far with the drinking and is now suffering terribly. This means that the only person driving the podcast this week is Eli, so that means Paul is going to have to suffer through another indignity of Eli’s episode manifesto. As a result, it’s going to be a sauce and snack heavy themed podcast, which maybe isn’t the best course of action for a host who feels deathly ill and nauseous. However, there is one curious note to mention… Does Paul being ill make him a better podcaster? Or is episode going to land near the bottom of “worst episodes ever” lists? We guess you will have to listen to find out! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-451-podcast-after-the-night-before SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/cheapshow---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-18th-oct-2025-tickets Watch Our 450th Episode Celebration YouTube Live Stream! https://youtube.com/live/ErCEZo6V3AE?feature=share And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

You do it. Hello, everybody. It's a special day here on Cheap Show. Yes, I'm proud to bring to you. Eli Silverman presents. Cheap Show presents a source report special. We got sources. We got other things related to sources.

We got source chat. Paul has agreed to be very much in favour of source today. Is that right, Paul? Can I just rephrase it to state it thus? Paul is still sick and tired and ill from being dirty hung over on Friday. and he is in no business of being performative today therefore I am relenting all power and enthusiasm to my erstwhile co-host

to do whatever the fuck he likes in the next hour and I will be offering minor commentary throughout when you say hungover what you mean is poisoned I had the booze poisoning because Eli got me very drunk I do actually feel some genuine what's it contrition is it it's regret

After the streaming ended, Paul Things got nasty bad I started doing That's when we started doing The gin and tonics If you remember We shouldn't have done those gin and tonics No

There was a half a bottle of gin still I shouldn't have had those moth Things You were sucking down the moths Like a fucking spider Huh? All I'm all I'm saying Hey everyone?

I'm in charge today Paul I hate this There's too much from you already And it's not source based enough Now I know you're not going to be enthusiastic Right Because your sickness

Yeah Because you're, you're... This is episode 4-5-1. It's meant to be a reboot. It's meant to be a... Hey, hello everyone. Welcome to Cheap Show. We're on a comedy comedy podcast

where we enjoy the cheaper things in life, hence the show, Cheap Show. We've got plenty cheap stuff here. A lot of this stuff I've got for free. A lot of this sauce. This is gracious, saucers. I mean, I'm just going to also... I'm just going to also part the curtains

to a certain bit of backstage business here in that my plan was to, you know, get all the characters back and do... Because, you know, At the end of the last week, all the characters escaped from data mainframe. I like that little Easter egg at the end where TrackBot, if you didn't pick up on this, perhaps you turned off the episode into disgust. I'm thinking this boring shit, I'm sick of those robot voices or something like that.

Right. But right at the end, TrackBot, who was saved by us, did say, all characters restored or what was the phrase? You can't even remember. No. I can't remember. This is our show. Anyway, they can't even remember. been re-beamed into the shoot show universe

and I was going to make a big pomp and circumstance and have the characters come in and go oh no they're here fuck that maybe next week I don't know the point is that there was a lot of stuff I had wanted in my heart deepest of hearts to do and unfortunately today

it's not it's not being delivered so I am this is going to be but Paul don't we have the worst podcast of all time oh now he said it it's already getting there it's already getting there I mean I feel like I want to do this whole bit again The Hulk I don't again. I wouldn't because I'm not editing a second thing.

So you're just going to have to carry the... I'm going to have to put up with your... You're going to have to carry Cheap Show this week. I have. Already, I've already started on a top note and then you're just like... Oh, God. ...is long.

He started singing. Clue one that pulls a cunt. With many winding road that leads us to who... Have you pressed the button? Are we back from the sound effect? The theme, yeah. He ain't heavy.

He's my co-host. That's right, Paul. Although my co-host is quite heavy. Well, relative to my size, perhaps. But, you know, do you know, BMI's a myth? Now I used to shop there all the time. A-ha. A-ho.

He's doing gag. He's livened up. He sang, and he is livened himself up, everybody. Song lifts my heart. Song is meant to lift one. And you know what they used to call the English? What? The singing English.

Who said that? History man. History man. Big history man. I can see a character coming. Let's go to the credit quick. Here we go. It's Cheap Show.

Lo-Fi. No, it's Source Report. It's the Source Support Cheap Show. You're angering me now. Sheep Show presents a Source Report special presented by... Eli J. Silver. Thank you. All right.

Here we fucking. go. Press the fucking credit. I hate you. I've got to be used with posse. Cheap Show to the money. All right. I'm contractually obliged to say, hello, welcome to Cheap Show.

I'm Paul Gannon. that's Eli Silverman. Source report time, everybody. And we are doing an episode based around source report. Now, usually it's a podcast about the cheap things in live. These sauces, I like, I said, Grasias, salcias. Salsa von Gracia.

Charity shop stuff or, you know, bargain bins, powerlands. Or indeed, sauce. And sauce can be cheap. It has been known to be a cheap condiment. What's the most expensive sauce in the world, do you think? Now you're confusing everything now. Because you're saying sauce is a cheap condiment. What on earth?

That's garbage. I have to put my foot down. No, wait there, because I then asked what's the most expensive condiment. The most expensive condiment I've come across and I don't mean spunked over when it's on a dish. I'm not doing any that. I'm not doing any innuendo.

Well, I'm just saying I don't mean that. I didn't mean come across like that. I didn't mean come across like you spray your jacket. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not engaging in this. Like that, basically. Like bullets, little bullets, little hard jelly bullets. Yeah?

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're wondering what the tone of this episode's going to be, it is this. Right. The most expensive source I've seen is XO or X-O, Ojo, which is that Hong Kong. It's more of a condiment than a source, but it's like X-O, look it up. I'm looking up most. Can you just, again, with a bit more energy that I can't do, can you explain what Cheap Show is to people who look at episode 4-5-1 and go, oh, I can start here? This might be a nice intro episode. I mean, this is not going to be a good intro episode.

to people. It's not. You just said it's going to be the worst episode of all time. This would be the one that people should not start with.

I hope this is the last one. People should ignore this whole episode. I think this is the one that people should rank at the very bottom of 450 episodes when all the dust is settled. Why do you think that? Because I'm taking control

and it's about source. Yeah, and that's why it's going to be a massive flop. Oh, hello, the world's most rare and expensive condiments. Do you want to know? Yes. This is a source special.

This is the type of source reporting that I need from you just a base level of reporting discipline and integrity. Cheap show. And a focus on sauces, condiments are okay?

Yeah. And sprinkles. And little, and... Sprinkles are condiments, mate. Sprinkle is a condiment. Yeah. It's a type of condom. Well, no, because then 100,000 would be...

That's a sweet condiment. Yeah. What's chocolate sauce? Salt, hot chocolate sauce. That's a condiment, right? Is it? Yeah. Yes.

The whole... And I just want to say, if you're talking about on message about Cheap Show, right? Being cheap, used to be cheap stuff. Source, when you have a cheap... life, when you have a life where money is scarce, and scant, Paul. Scant. How do you josh up, spice up, sauce up your fucking existence?

Do you know what I used to do when I was broke in university? I'd have pasta, but I couldn't afford sauce, so I'd just use gravy, and I would have gravy and pasta. Gravy is sauce. No, I know, but you know what I mean? Like, not a pasta sauce or what I'm getting out. You'd use bistogranial. I just make gravy and pasta.

And you know what? Nasty bad. But also kind of weirdly. fulfilling. My ex used to, like, drain the juice out of baked beans and mix that with smash. That was like her comfort food. Wait, what?

Mash and baked beans? Just the juice from the beans. Oh, my mum used to do that. Really? That's why it rang a bell. My mum used to just drizzle all the tomato sauce from the beans onto the mash. Although it wasn't smashed because we weren't complete fucking animals. But it would have been actual...

It would have been your basic potato smash, yeah. Mash. Mash potatoes. For mash get... Don't get smash. Don't get smash. It is maybe easier to have boiled pellets of fucking dried potato turned into a gravy mash type sauce. Now, we've got several sauces. But just make the effort of having just normal potatoes. It's just going to be better. Yeah. Just do it. A bit of butter in the pan, a bit of milk in it, mix it all around. Blush, blush, blush, blish. I like mash. Which has scallions or green onions or spring onions. Anyway, can I, before we get into the business. Most expensive condiments.

Before we get to the business, because I know you're itching. Let's just do. Ex-O is on this list somewhere. Well, let's find out. This is my website called Condomaniac. Oh my God. So Condomaniac is a condomaniac on the website. I just want to say one thing. No.

Do you think they'll include caviar? Is caviar a condiment or is it a dish? Oh, I would have said that, well, no, that's more of the food stuff, in it. It's a food stuff. Yeah. But you wouldn't like, you know, I mean, you could dip Doritos in it. I mean, I would. I totally would.

You would have an allergic reaction. Well, I wouldn't have a, I wouldn't have a, I would. I wouldn't have caviar. I wouldn't feel compelled to get involved. I've got some vegan caviar on the menu for you today, Paul. It's just coming in it. I've got some good items. Come on, read the list.

Right. So, this is just a list of the most rare and expensive. So there's no real top one here. Oh, I see. Yeah. But there is Acetia di Giorgio or a cola gold cap of balsamic vinegar. Yeah, I should have guessed that's going to be there. It's aged for 25 years in a century-old oak barrel.

And you can pick up a small bottle of it for three, 150 euros according to this website. I will not be buying that balsamic then I go, thank you. Gold sal, the world's most luxurious salt comes in like, looks like a perfume. Oh, that's such bollocks. So it's the kind of salt you'll see

in royalty. Each little bottle goes for 200 pounds a small jar. That's just plain salt. It's salt. The only thing... Wait there, wait there. Because it says why. It says, during the crystallization process, a very thin coating of salt forms on the surface of the evaporation rafts of a saline solution due to the thermal contrast this phenomena occurs between sunset and

daybreak in the summer resulting in little crystals enriched with magnesium calcium and low sodium and then blah blah blah and then it's mixed with 24 karat gold to create gold salt yeah for no reason it's one of those bullshit products rare harvest manuka honey oh now that how much for a bottle of that so there's a limited one of a thousand jars at a time apparently it is the highest mgo UMF rating in the world I don't know what that is. I have no idea. Must be a honey industry thing. It's from Northern New Zealand. It has

an unrivaled intensity and buttery consistency. Oh boy. And if you want to pick up a bottle which apparently has healing powers apparently, you can pay 1,349 pounds for a small bottle of that. Now, weed-flavored

mayo. Paul, did you just say weed flavored mayo? I know you had an interjection and I know the fingers up in the ear, but I did want squeeze in weed-flavored mayo first. It's called wheat sauce. This is a weed-flavored mayo. Apparently, it tastes like weed. Why would you want that?

That sounds disgusting. Apparently, one of the first ever condiments reviewed by Condominate back in 18, the website, was a gin-flavored mayo from the same company. Gene-flavored mayo. Do you want to try some of that now, Paul, after your gin weekend? Do you think you're off the gin forever now? Did you over gin it? Those moths were pure...

I overdid everything that night. I had blackout drunk, which I've never had in my life. I apparently tried to put my clothes on it constantly and leave the house to pay you money. There's part of my monkey brain going, give Eli Cash. You know what I mean? Because that was the last thing that you kind of remember happening is me saying you need to come out with me. Yeah. Anyway, white truffle marinaras sauce, that's expensive.

Any exo? No, there's not in there. It's just not in it. It doesn't mean you're not right. I'm just saying it's not on this list. Exo in Hong Kong, they developed a fancy condiment, usually using chili, chili oil and sort of seafood

things like abalone scallions scallops rather not scallions that it's like a fancy seafood chili oil so they use the XO because that denoted

sort of luxury or fanciness I guess it does it has that minimalist kind of yeah and it comes from the cognac yeah like the top brand

cognac luxurious yes so for example I can go into one of these Chinese supermarket And they've got Ex-O in there, and it's about 15 quid for a little jar like that. So that's pretty pricey.

It's pretty pricey, but it's not $1,500 for the same, for the salt. No. It's not stupid. And it's like there's some actual sort of, you know, value in the food. And I was going to say, I know you got your finger up. You're both got my finger up. We're both wagging our fingers. Now, what happens in this instance?

We're both pointing. Listen, you did say I was in control this week. You're tired. Now, if we're going to say caviar is a food stuff and not a condiment, then honey, surely not a condiment either don't call me honey hey babe right

what's the caviar caveat I've still got it so ladies and gentlemen the show is in Eli's hands he has prepared everything today I am just going to mumble and wine in the background I also would like to point out

and this is why I raised my finger we're both sweaty men today the weather's playing up so we've got the windows open you will hear the echo of the room and some of the egregious sounds from the outside's world. If you're really lucky, you'll hear a crackhead screaming.

Or a person in a bike with a horrible engine revving it unnecessarily up a small road. Yeah, or something like that. Or ambulances often go by, but their sirens blaring. Yeah, at this point, Eli, is there anything else you want to say? Because I would like to stop the recording, make a break, and then get on to it. You know, yeah, I think it's time in it. No, we've only done 10 minutes. I'm going to drink some coffee.

Now, Paul, no. No. Can I? Can I? Thank you, everyone. And you're not going anywhere. Just take... I'm going to do a little outro for you pressing the button.

All right. Is it going to be funny? Because it's nice to end on a laugh. That's completely subjective. Okay? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Okay.

So you're in a bad mood. I'm not... Hey, no. I don't want you to think I'm in a bad mood. I'm not in a bad mood. I'm still ill. Tired. Not feeling very funny.

And would rather be anywhere in the world than facing you right now with a bag full of sauce. So I'm just... Exactly. A bad mood. I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just... I'm just giving myself over to the eventuality of what this episode's going to be.

It's going to be tasting a lot of sauces and giving your opinion about sauces. That's all I want for you. I can't wait to be sick in your bedroom. I want honest opinions about the sauce if you do today. Now, wrap it up. Everyone, thank you so much for listening. And I hope you enjoy the rest of Eli Silverman presents, Cheap Show, presents, Source Report Special.

Don't fucking cut that out. Edit that out. I do. I cut a lot of your mouth gumbles out, you know. I know, thank you. And I'm glad for that Because people get a polished version Of the way I talk, Paul

And they don't hear all the arms and ours Talk, Paul Come on, just wrap it up This is Eli Silverman Presents Cheap Show presents the source report special Do do do do do do to do do to press the fucking button Mr Booz Mr Booz

Mr B-O-O-Z that sure spells bulls You're going to get copyright struck to shit with that Nah, fuck it Right, hello, welcome back from the sound effect, everybody Source Report Special presented by me, Eli Silverman, Cheap Show Presents Now, I need to take pictures of this shit

Let me take a picture of that plate that you're holding First, before we break into these Because, spoiler, these are fast food restaurant Single Serving Sauce packs I've taken a picture now, yeah So Eli, has got a casserole dish plate type thing with four pots of sauce on.

Four pots of sauce. Two of these are Heinz. One is McDonald's. Now, I want to start on the McDonald's one. One is KFC. I find it fascinating how... Oh, no. There's a whole... Sources are very integral to brand identity,

especially in fast food. The Big Mac sauce. Yeah? Yeah. Now, that was released Big Mac sauce in America. You could buy tubes of it in Walmart or whatever, like bottles of it. Have you ever seen that here?

No. Why don't they do that here? I would buy that. I think it's something to do with the fact that we don't, as a country, have McDonald's as McDonald's is ingrained into our DNA as America does, so therefore more of those kind of things like the sauces end up filtering into its own kind of consciousness socially than over it. Now, I've got a bone to pick with McDonald's UK because until recently, they had a sauce on their menu, sour cream and chives.

I used to love that for dipping my fries in, Paul. Nice, it had a tartness, a mayonnaise. The worst episode of the podcast ever. It just really is. And it had a nice... I haven't got enough energy to fight it. Now, they've replaced that completely. Jumping on the sauce bandwagon, I dare say.

You never see sour cream and chive anywhere now, right? Do you? What's the one you get with pizza all the fucking time when you order it? Garlic. Oh, I hate that. I love that sauce. I hate the fact that it's just so ubiquitous. Whenever you order anything,

it comes over the three little pots of garlic and chive fucking sauce or whatever. And it's like, I don't... I don't... want it. It's not garlic and chive. It's usually garlic and her. You know what I'm getting that though? You know the one at Papa John's?

Papadale? Papa John's, yeah. Yeah, with the evil boss. Yeah. Terrible pizza as well, I have to say. But Papa Johns had a butter garlic dip, which was an improvement on those standard ones you get from the other pizza places poor. But I'm saying right now to McDonald's UK, bring back sour cream and chive.

Call it something else if you want, like a chive. Chive and sour cream. Chive. Chive. Chive talking. I think part of the problem and part of the reason why they dropped it,

Paul, I might just chip in with puns based on things you say. But I'm telling you something about sauce now, okay? I think part of the reason they dropped it because it was hard to remember the name of that sauce.

Sour cream and chive, it's hard to remember. Is it though? Yeah. Is it though? It is. And people, the staff in the restaurants can I have a sour cream and chive

with that, please? They'd be like, a what? You see what I mean? It's too many words. You want something ketchup, something catchy. Brown sauce. Garlic mayo.

All of these, Chili sauce. Yeah. Sour cream and chis. I don't think chives would sell it, though. Cream it is. Then you have, yeah, and chives is something that's not anywhere else in the world. You know, you never see chives.

They never say put chives on this. The chive sauce. Chives aren't a big deal, is what I'm saying. So I think that's part of the reason. Do you know what? Their closest analog that they've replaced the sour cream and chive sauce that I really loved with in McDonald's now, Paul. Yeah. Garlic mayo, which is okay.

But garlic mayo never. used to be a thing. Garlic's becoming boring, if you ask me. It's just becoming a boring kind of base sauce thing. It's just such a delicious flavour. I won't have you bad mouth. You've to bad mouth garlic flavoured things twice. You're lucky, you're a lucky little boy.

You know that. Because on this source report, there's no garlic based anything, all of today, okay? I can assure you of that. I know you don't like it. You don't have to be insulting about it, you know? I'm not being insulting. I'm not insulting. Why am I?

This is my source report. Garlic has a place. Why is having an opinion? insulting? Why is me having a negative opinion, therefore being insulting? Well, because us on the garlic side of the fence don't like you talking bad like that,

we don't take kindly to it. Well, that's just, well, that's just my stand, isn't it? It's just where you stand in the not anti-garlic field. Yeah, I'm not anti-gar, I like garlic. I'm saying I'm bored of ubiquitous of garlic as a sauce in things you get for free. Yes, you're right. McDonald's definitely jumped on the bandwagon.

You know what? If you want a free sauce, that's your free one. Or if you want a nice sauce, you've got to pay an extra quill. Yeah, yeah. It's like, no, fuck off. But you know what flavour didn't have garlic in that the McDonald's used to do? Sour cream and chive. Well, what did you do?

But it fulfilled that kind of mayonnaisey, creamy dip. What about they call it sour chive sauce? I like it. I like it. Well done. It kind of has a rhythm. Yes. It has the rhythm.

Oh, there's not any sour chive sauce, mate. Yeah. Yeah. It rolls off the tongue. Good work, Paul. Good work. Thank you. This is what I'm not.

This is what I'm saying I'm not in a bad mood. I'm doing my very best to stay somewhat engaged. Okay. We're seven minutes into a segment and the four sources of the apocalypse. We'll get through them quick, all right? The four sources of the... You know what? Tell a lie, there is a garlic one here.

I completely forgot. Mate, can I just finish this bad pun? The four sources of the apocodipes. Right, you've got a choice for your dips. Now, if Tony wants to make a t-shirt out of that one, by all means, but, you know... Paul, you've got a choice of dips here. dippers rather because we often we've done sauce reports where we've tasted sauce on a naked spoon and there's something there's something that engrossifies the sauce do you know what I mean

it's not good it's meant to be a sauce it's maybe on top of some food stuff so I've got kettle lightly salted or yeah I've got light oh no these are just for me actually sorry well then there's no choice I'll just have the kettle chips please thank you then the other chips I bought everyone with lentil chips creamy dill flavor or Oh, that's the real deal. Did you say real deal? Yeah. No, all right, cool.

I just didn't quite catch it. And that's the real deal. Yeah, no, I didn't quite catch it, but well done. So we can... Mate, how about we do a game show where everyone's got boxes in and only one of them's got a pickling? Everyone's got boxes in what? Like, it's like everyone's got a box.

They've got... They've got boxes there, not in them. No, they've each got a, been given a box to hold. And only one of them has a pickle in, and it's called Dill or No, Dylan. Good, well done. Now, we're going to use kettle lightly salted to dip, okay, Paul. And the first sauce we're going to taste now.

What about a game show where you've got to fill in a gap in a sentence using, like, you know, a pickle? And you can call it pickle-de-pick. Wow. Okay. Try and use the best pun you've got last. Yeah, and then work up to it, not work back to the bad one. Yeah, that was really bad. Now, McDonald's are doing one of their, you know, seasonal things now,

which is spicy McNugs. Spicy McNugs, Paul. Which were fine, I had one. They were fine, but they're a bit like cardboard. Carboard that tastes a bit spicy. Yeah. But you know what? McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are very cardboardy,

but it's delicious cardboardiness. Do you know what I mean? I don't find them in any way satisfying. No, they kind of like hollow food, things you pop into your gob. There's something delicious cardboard. is how I describe it. It's like a tasty cardboard. I don't know.

Anyway, they've got a spicy dip to go with the spicy McNugs. Special priority, and I've got a pot of it here. Spicy chili, Paul. Spicy chili. Now, here's my question. Can chili be not spicy then? Exactly.

But it's so typical of McDonald's. Yeah, it's like... They're distinguishing it from sweet chili. That's why they call it spicy chisel. But then chili, sweet chili is really chilly, though, is it? It's more salsa. Oh, no, a salsa will have chunks in. Much like the vomit that you spewed when you...

I've got a text from him, blowing chunks all morning. And then my flatmate didn't, had never heard the expression blowing chunks. Fear at all. And that's he genuinely surprised by that. Okay. It's more of an Americanism, I think, that phrase. It is an Americanism, we looked it up. Can I?

Sniff the sauce. Sniff the sauce here. This is there. It has some texture. It's quite, I'm quite impressed with this. It is thick. It doesn't look watery at all. No.

It looks like it's got a bit of grit to it. It's got some texture to it. A little bit vinegary, but there's, you know, there's... Not overly. I think it's pretty good. I think McDonald's sauces are good which is why I'm so angry with the... A bit generic in terms of...

Sour chive. Yeah. All right, he's doing it. And now I must venture in. That tastes like orange juice. It's so sweet. Like orange juice. You know what I'm getting at?

Like... It tastes like a passat. Like a thick tomato puree. That... One of the good things is the texture, I think. I'd say that's a good thing. Look, it's fine. It would go nice with chips or slap it on a burgo.

Oh, it'd be nicer on that. Obviously. The texture's pretty good. The flavour is sort of like a watery, like it felt like, like I say, like orange pulp in my mouth or something, you know, like it's just a sweetness. Well, I would like to know if the words carrot juice are on the ingredients of that anywhere. Good point because that's what it felt like, right? It does feel slightly carot-y, right? Can you see?

There is an ingredient. It has water, onions, girkin, tomato paste. Wow. Syrup, glucose fructose syrup, spirit vinegar, sugar, green bell, pepper, pepper, puree, red chili puree. That's right down the line, the actual... A little bit of garlic puree, pepper, acids, preservatives.

So no carrots, to be fair. But it's those first few ingredients that give it that carrot-tee texture. The gluctose fructose syrup? No, it's the dyes dineas. It is going to make it sweet. Oh, it gives it the sweetness, but I'm talking about the lumpy sort of texture. That comes from the diastanias.

Actually, not bad. Are we rating these now? Out of five, please. Nice 3.2. I'll go 3.25. I'll go 3.25. I don't think that's a good score now. Right, so that's one.

Now, we move on to KFC, another massive franchise chain in this country. Stands for Kentucky fucking chicken. Kentucky fucking chicken. I heard that they changed the KFC because they don't want to be associated with the word fried, which was fried food is perceived as unhealthy, isn't it? Yeah, and KFC at that time was more like the bandwagon of companies in the UK

in the 80s that were moving to like initialism. you know, like H&M or... Oh, were they? Yeah, it was happening. BFI and, you know, all the... MFI, sorry, and all those B&Q, those... It was like, it's part of that idea of, like, weird chain. Yeah, but it's weird how they do that with the icons on tech companies now.

You know, the app icons become more and more basic and sort of... Yeah, minimal. To why Elon Musk for calling Twitter X was... Yeah, but... Transgressive when actually it's what every single unimaginative rich person does when they want to class up a brand. Ex-0 sort. Well, there we go.

Anyway, so I have eaten KFC recently, and it is always, almost always disappointing. One thing they are good on, though, Paul. Chips. Sauce. Oh. Their chips have improved. I like beer chips. That's only because their chips were so awful.

They were sludge, basically, a big, cold blocks of potato-like substance. Yes. They were the worst, but then they had to, and now they're going, yeah, our chips are good guys. Because they've added some sort of seasoning. Here's the thing, though. tasteier. KFC, been going for ages, are they still like the number one chicken brand in this country or like do the high street stuff like chicken cottage, do better per capita or whatever? I do not know, but I would say yes, they're ubiquitous. They're everywhere.

True. They're absolutely everywhere. They're complete, in terms of numbers, I'm sure they must be the biggest. So they're the biggest number of chicken killers on the planet. Yeah, and I think they might be, actually, yeah. And always it's just like, oh, that looks nice, It's all sludge. It all just tastes the same as itself. It always brings me back to that. The gravy's nice. The gravy's nice.

Yeah, but it always brings you back to that. Pat and Oswald stand up about the KFC gravy bucket or whatever it was. Where it's like they just boil down everything and to just put it all in a bucket and cover it in gravy and that's a meal. And it's like, Jesus. Yes. How society weeps. But chicken is, you know, it's a big thing, chicken. Now.

Well, they are now because they stick a load of fucking proteins and stuff in it. And they had giant leg chicken out there as well. Giant legs. KFC do do nice sauces, especially their supercharger spicy mayo. Very nice, nice texture, nice level of heat, adds a lot of taste. So what have you got here, then?

And they also have a buttermilk. No, what have you got here? I'm doubt. They've just got their barbecue. I can't... Barbecue. Just grab a chip and taste their barbecue sauce. See, there's anything remarkable at all about it.

It does smell very good, actually. What is it again you say? Barbecue. Because you talk so much shit that I lose track of what we're actually doing. It's barbecue sauce in KFC. Smoky. You missed out the word smoky. Listen, on the nose.

And that's an important qualifier. You can get the smoke on the nose. Smell that stuff right now. Smell it. I've smelled it. It smells like smoky barbecue. I don't know what else you want. It's a bit gelatinous.

Got some texture to it to stick to a chicken or something. That's dog shit. There's no flavour there. Where's the flavour? Wow. All you get is a little smoky aftertaste, but up front, there is no real flavour there. It's watery and sweet. God, that's terrible, isn't it?

That's a pretty bad one. Yeah. But that's very much like what KFC is like overall. It's like a little piece that represents the whole of their whole vibe, which is, oh, that looks good, oh, you know, like nice, mm-mm, and then you eat it, it's nothing. You know what I mean, though? Yeah.

Yeah. But I think honestly, in the wider spectrum of things, fast food restaurants like Burger King and McDonald's and KFC in general, apart from a few noticeable, like, exceptions, most of their food is like empty. Yeah, absolutely. You put it down, you eat it. It feels like you've had food,

but then you feel hollow an hour. later it's just But I think McDonald's in this country has got better Well yeah I do think that I think it's less It's doing so

In terms of the actual food The taste and everything I stand the chili stack thing It's this Philly cheese stack What did I say Chili stack Which is an idea It's not a bad idea

Bring back Sour Chive sauce Man that's so brilliant Sourchive Why didn't I ever say that I just get rid of the Cream No you don't need to

The sour already infers that Yeah And you know it's a sauce Oh, brilliant, genius. Salachive sauce. We should do more source-based episodes. We need to be consultants, I think, for source companies.

We so do. When it comes to branding and names and things and flavors. Yeah. Right. On to Heinz. As approved by Cheap Show. And all gormless fucking faces on the corner of the bottle doing this. It's a good thing I bought two cans of orange cream Coke for you.

I put the thumbs up, by the way, to go look at us. That was an affairing that you didn't see. Sorry. You were saying thumbs up, what? Because I put my thumbs up, didn't I? But I didn't tell people I put my thumbs up. So now I'm saying I put my thumbs up. so people who didn't know put my thumbs up, put my thumbs up.

Now, I always thought in a Bernstein-Bair's kind of way, Mandala effect kind of way, that Heinz ketchup was... Mandela effect. Whatever. Not Mandala effect is what you said. Mandala. Unless that in itself is a Mandela effect. Yes, it is. No, no, I can't deal with it.

I remember everyone used to think mandala's were Bob Marley. Anyway. Chumbabumbah effect. The Chumbabwamba effect. I'm never sure if I got knocked down or got up again. Oh, very good. Now, I always used to think that Heinz somehow had a deal with McDonald's and that they provided their sources. They do not.

McDonald's in this country have McDonald's tomato ketchup. Well, we talked about this recently, so let's not go over it again. But they went from, oh, where's all the branded stuff gone to? Oh, here's their generic ketchup. Their generic brown sauce. They're generic whatever. Oh, they used to have branded stuff, did they? Okay. Anyway. Well, no, we made a big deal out of it. It's like two weeks ago. Right. A chain that... Yes, that's right. A chain that does... You don't know what we're talking about because that, yes, right, that was done with emotionally cold eyes. Emotionally cold eyes

That could be my next song Like Betty Davis's eyes Because of us leaving the EU Do you know what happened Because of us You leaving the EU? We couldn't spell the word Sub-Diffuge

Wendy's has come over Come in Wendy's has come over I like Wendy's You do like Wendy's I was there yesterday And I've got some of their sources They have a deal with Heinz

Heinz do their sources Yeah So we've got to do a Heinz sauce now Yeah sweet chili Hind sweet chili pot Now when you pay for these In the store When you get them separate

How much are they? Like 80-90p. 40. Really? Yeah. Those small parts, they can't get away with that. Because I remember you used to go the chippy and get like a packet of sauce for like a 10pence. I was at Wendy's yesterday. I got the Hulumi fries, yeah?

299. Yeah. How many fries do you think I got? Two. Three. Oh. Like that. They're like three fries in a bag.

Fucking hell, hell no. And you're paying the best part of what? Two, three quits. Yeah, boll it's so bad. So what do you think of the smell of the Hein's sweet chili? Let me once again give it a re-snough. Um, Fine. It weirdly doesn't smell that sweet. It smells quite dry.

It'll be like a Thai, it's a Thai staple, obviously. But it's old news. And in fact, it's one of the, it's one of the first wave of chili sauces that became popular here, isn't it? Along with the Thai food craze of like the 90s. I don't know. You'd have to ask my past self. I think it became popular here because it's sweet. So it's more, it was more palatable to people. The sugar flavor in a good sweet chili sauce is stronger than the heat, isn't it? It's more... Right. What do you think of that?

It's fine. I don't mind it. However, I've never been a big fan of sweet chili. So, to me, it's not my favourite thing. However, it's not sickly sweet. It's still got a little bit of the chili kind of warmth to it. It's fine. It's nicer than that.

It's fine. Nice than the McDonald's one. I guess. More sort of amplitude, dare it. Have we ever done, like, a sauce off brand off? Have we ever done like, let's get a McDonald's sweet chili, a thing, sweet chili, a top brand? Because the offering at McDonald's changes so often with things. their seasonal products.

For example, you're not going to be able to get that in a couple of weeks when they stopped doing the spicy nuts. I'm just saying, have we ever done a sauce off-brand, Brand off, in all our 10 years? Yes, we did brown sauce, remember? Oh, and ketchup. Yeah, and we've done ketchup. But we haven't done anything too elaborate. We've done mayonnaise, we've done ketchup, we've done brown sauce, we've done mustard.

Did we do mustard? We did some mustard tasting. Yeah, we've had mustard. Have you run out that Philippe's mustard that you brought back from L.A.? Fuck me. Best mustard. Do you think maybe if I went to like the food hall in Harrow, or the one in Selfridges.

No, because this is made in store. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but they must like send some boxes over. No, it's made in store. They're very proud of the fact that you can only buy this in that one restaurant in L.A. Have I paid enough? Theoretically, you could go in and buy a load,

yeah, and then come over and sell it out of a suitcase and fucking Camden Market. Yeah, they're all ways you can do it. But what I'm saying is, as far as I'm aware, the only place you can buy that source is in store at that restaurant. What was it called again? Philippe's. Philippe's, yeah, because they're proud of it.

It's part of their heritage. It's part of it. whole history. It's a fucking great mustard. Great fucking, sharp. Great fucking restaurant. It had a sweetness to it as well, didn't they?

It was sharp. But that nice can of like horse radishy waft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But real flavour. Yeah. Oh, good shit. We're going to finish our pots with Heinz garlic sauce. This is what I'm looking at least to because, as I say, I'm worn down by garlic.

I only have a little. No, I'm happy to get involved and do the minimum needed to be engaging in this content. Now, this doesn't smell of garlic very much at all. it's there but it's also kind of weirdly strongly more mayo forward and it's weird that they don't call it garlic mayo no what is it just garlic sauce just garlic sauce no i would if you just said oh sniff that i went oh i don't like garlic mayo you know what i mean because obviously hines are trying to say that their mayonnaise is as good

as helmonds aren't they these days they've been a marketing push from hines to sell their mayo what do you think of that garlic uh it's too sweet for me and it's very mayo forward salad cream is what it tastes like yeah actually yeah it's more salad cream And I love salad cream, but that's not quite salad cream. That's almost like knock-off salad cream. Yeah. Now that you've said that, I'm like, yeah, yeah, with a little bit of a kind of roasted garlic with... I'm hardly getting any garlic at all from that.

That's really underpowered. It's there, but it's like there for a fracture at the front and then it's gone. I was disappointed with those Heinz ones. I would have thought they would be better because I love their ketchup. So the first one I gave 3.254. That is the McDonald's limited edition, spicy chili pot. Smoky barbecue. I'm going to give one to.

One, I give it one. That was terrible. KFC in shame Hang your heads in shame Sweet Chili was the third one And that was fine for what it was I would just give that a flat three I'll give it a three

I'll give it a three And then the last one No you're another one Really I didn't mind that so much I'd go for a flat 2.5 Halfway For the garlic mayo Not mayo

Because I reckon if you put that If I said here is some salad cream You'd be fine with it Yeah well I'd probably go Is this like daddy's salad cream I'd be more like I don't know I never see other people

doing salad cream, apart from Hines. Well, it's because salad cream keeps living on the edge of oblivion. It does, yeah. It's like, they keep saying it, they're going to cancel it forever, and then some people go, oh, no, you can't possibly. And then no one buys it, and then it goes again. But I love salad cream. They try to rebrand it.

I know I've mentioned this before. A sandwich cream. We've famously decided on stages we were accepted a award at the Golden Lobes. And I said sandwich cream then. Yeah, that didn't land as a joke at all. Not really. That was one of my most death moments. I was like, you know when you're saying something?

No, you know what it was, me? It was a great piece of anti- comedy on stage in front of an audience that wouldn't appreciate the artful we were reaching for. I mean, a lot of the other acts there were doing anti-comedy. I mean, again, no offence of the guy who did the interval, but I think we can all agree there was no need for an interval. Okay. Now, that's the end of the pots, Paul. What was your favourite then? I guess we could say the first one, maybe? Yeah, they're doing something with that. The texture, they're just trying to do something.

It's a bit underpowered because I wouldn't call that spicy at all. McDonald's, right? Yeah. It's not the Philly cheese stack. Do you know what they should have done when they bring back the Philly cheese stack as well? What? Little pot of cheese sauce. Oh, cheese sauce.

Give us that cheese sauce in a pot. Yeah. I don't know, mate. Yeah. That's either a brilliant idea or the biggest sauce war crime will ever cover on this podcast. I love cheese sauce. I love cheese sauce too, but come on, you've got to admit,

there are lines and acceptable lines that you will cross. Yes. When it comes to what, you would drink it out of the cup. It's like if you pour it out the pot, it's like the consistency of milk. I ain't touching it. If it's hot and straight off a fucking scrape piece of cheese, that's been rotissurating or whatever, I'll do that.

Do you remember we went to Gourmet Burger Kitchen in Brighton and I just got a pot of cheese sauce? Yeah. God, I was drinking that down. It was almost feral behaviour. Oh, he's off on his phone now, so there you go. That shows that during recording once again. I thought you were going to press the button.

No, well, why don't you wait for me to press the button and then check your phone for messages? because again I'd like to say every time I fucking text you or message you you seem to never want to reply straight away but here you are mid-podcast recording. No, there's no excuse.

There's no excuse. It's not an excuse. It is. No, it's not an excuse. It's about to be an excuse. Three, two, one. I am running this source report special I might need my phone

to tell me about special source-related breaking news, Paul. Is that an excuse? If good journalism, if disciplined, integrity and up-to-the-minute journalism about sources, if that's an excuse, Paul, for having my phone beat and look at my phone, when I'm trying to do some serious work, then that's an excuse. Yes, no, that is very much an excuse. Because up until this very moment in time, you have never once said to me,

excuse me, mate, I've just had a source report update on my phone. Well, I do get them. No, you don't. I get noodle updates. No, you fucking don't. You don't have a dedicated notification on your phone. phone that pops up and said, oh, mate, chili sauce at McDonald's, quick.

You don't know that. I do. You don't know that. Otherwise, you would have talked about it nonstop since it's conception. Mate, you're being so inventive when you're low energy. You've got chive, sour chive sauce. Fucking bring that shit back. I bet they've got it on the continent.

Bastards. Anyway. Source notifications. Is that the other one? A source app, yeah. A source news app. Now, Paul, do you want to move on to another source? I would like to move on to when I press stop and pack everything away, please.

Now, we like to keep abreast of sources on this podcast, especially in this segment that I call the source report. Do-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D. Ed Gain used to do that as well. Ed Gain? Yeah. Is that guy who, Ed Gain, was he trying to get tall, was he, does he have a balloon head?

And then he pump it up and his Ed would gain volume. I got there I got let No, he was a serial killer The film Psycho In Texas Chamasca were loosely based upon I was just gonna say He had a breast

In his cupboard And one in the fridge And one wrapped around a lampshade There you go That's my gag He didn't actually murder that many people Did he? No, I think it was like two

Everyone earth was dug up I can't remember all the details now So what I'm trying to say is He's not really Not that bad Is that what you're trying to say He's not that bad I wasn't saying he's that not that bad

He's not really a serial kid You know what I mean? He's just sort of a famous murderer. Well, yeah. Yeah, he's not a serial killer by the way those proper serial killers who do it over several years. He wasn't like Bridgeway or anything like that. No, no, no. Okay, anyway. BDK. Yeah, or any of those horrendous killers. Yeah. Or other, out of interest, non-horrendous killers, Eli, that you can mention. I just want to know, I just want to know what not horrendous killers you can think of. Yeah, a bit of a sort of, yeah. I shouldn't have said it's like, you know, spicy chili. Yeah, exactly. Tautology. That's the way of it.

I'm just saying his body count wasn't what you'd associate with a serial killer and when I say body count I don't mean how many people I've slept with thank you very much so do you often associate people you sleep with with that's the what they use the manosphere guys that's what the manosphere guys what do they say what do they say

you've got to check like if you're going to get with a woman check the body count and that should be lower than yours you know they come up with terms like that it's a horrible term isn't it because it's because it's like having a cult linger And it's like being in on a type of speak. But that is particularly disgusting, isn't it? Yeah.

Because the metaphor is of a dead body, isn't it? Well, yeah, you're right, it is. There's that. But there's always been that sense of not just on the bedposts, little black book, you know, like phone numbers, all these kind of thing. You know, watch your head count. Yes. Grizzly.

Mine's, I think, 12. I'm going to bring it back ground. Two. Like, we always try and keep up abreast about sources on this show. And indeed, chicken breast is what you would get in the restaurant. whose sauce we're getting round to tasting right now yes The animal has a breast that you'd eat A chicken or a turkey

A turkey I guess But you wouldn't say like Yeah I guess any foul Because you wouldn't say oh you want some pig breast No but there is the dish that my dad made Fish breast Veal breast God veal

Disgusting It's so good Is your dad like some kind of like Elizabethan lord or something It was just because it was available We were in the States It was available he got it You know

It's very upsetting to hear that you support veal meat and you i presume you ate it right it was delicious so therefore you do support that process the murder of young i don't eat veal every day doesn't matter does it lamb do you have lamb no i don't and i haven't had lamb since i was like 14 oh my god i can't believe you're getting all vegan and moralistic no i just lamb breaks my heart because they're lamb it's like saying oh do you want if they call it baby cow people wouldn't fucking eat it as much they don't eat baby yeah veal is baby cow isn't it yeah anyway i'm not trying to say it's morally defensible to eat creatures.

Sounds like it. Sounds like tonight you've defended serial killers. I'm not. You've defended it. Veal eaters. I don't support killing humans. My fingers are now. You're trying to interrupt yourself with your own finger.

That's what happens when they cut the brain in half. You know that? What? You know, there's a bit in between the two hemispheres that connects your brain? In certain very rare and terrible medical situations, they have to cut that. Really? What, okay. Like cancer or something, you know.

Wow, okay. And then when that happens, the two halves of the brain don't communicate. So literally the hand will be, your hand will do stuff. Wow. Like two consciousnesses in one brain. Right. What's going on now in this part of the podcast? Because it is been six minutes.

We are finally at the piesta resistance. Oh, can't we do a dip with this? Can't we do the crisp, so? Because you've got spoons out. It's fine. It's just, I'm going to taste it on a spoon. Okay. I'm going to put a splodge on the casserole plate.

Yeah, fine. You can splodge. I'm just going to use a chip. Fine. Now, I don't think I can honestly, with all the best intending of the world, mate, the way I'm feeling. put a big wobbly spoonful of Morley sauce in my mouth. That's what we're tasting, everyone.

It's Morleys, the cult fried chicken shop. I think it is nationwide now. I mean, it'd have to be. Otherwise, this would be a weird thing to sell nationally. It's not as big as KFC. No, of course not. But KFC, they've gone into crisps, didn't they? Because it's all owned by you.

Do you know where I first heard of Morley's? Our podcast. I mean, it wasn't something I noticed until you pointed it out. But honestly, its popularity must have just grown and grown. It must be just a half decent. I bet it tastes better than fucking KFC. I bet it does. I would be hard pressed to see if there's any

fucking real difference between half the chicken shops and the high street. I think the only thing they might have going for them is this sauce. I mean, I happen to know where the best wings around here you can get are and that's... Poor McCartney's place.

Hmm? Well, it's at least a knob gag. This is fresh. Yeah. We bought this together a few weeks ago. Actually, can I have a huff while the neck is open? I said, because I looked at the ingredients and this has onions in,

right? This is very similar to those chopy, chippy chippy chop. Do you remember all those sauces we got? Yeah. The Dutch sauces. Yeah. Oh, it's like that.

Smell it. And then I like it a few of those. They were great. Thank you again for sending, giving us. That guy gave it to us at the live show. Yeah. Huge amount. Tickets still on sale for the live show 18th of October.

Come and join us. Nick Helm, Realina, it will be a laugh. And if you have a collection of sources you want us to do on an episode, please by all means bring them to the live show. Or yes, sent to our PO box details on our website or in the metadata for each podcast episode. on you, the pop-cap app of your choice. I just need to quickly point out and say that. Officially speaking, this is Heinz X-Morley's fried chicken sauce.

Times Morley's. No, it's X is not said as a time. It's X again. Why does X keep coming up? Because that's what they say now instead of V or with or and. It's kind of like it's become this weird thing. Oh, I didn't know that. It comes from pop music for some reason.

Oh, yes, because yes, instead of saying featuring, they'll say X. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah. Okay. Now, we're learning. You're much better when you're not being a dick. That's why I put it on the album initially, the metadata. It says Cheap Show X. Noisland.

Oh, I see. Anyway, yeah. Snuff, Snuff, nuff. Doesn't it remind you of those sauces? It is a bit onion-y. And it's also got like this weird kind of a burger van vibe. It's burger sauce, I'd say. Yeah, it's a bit more burger sauce.

Burger sauce, you know, like a Big Mac sauce has bits of onion in. Like a proper burger sauce. Yeah, that kind of sweated, nice kind of, you know, browned. Soffened onions. Caramelized onions? Yeah. Maybe, I don't know. But it just reminds me so much of those joppy sauces.

the Dutch chip shop sauces You are for sure And it looks exactly like one of them I'm sure It looks so similar Right Yeah I've got a bottle of this in the fridge So hopefully I like this

So I won't have to just give it to you Alright I'm gonna kick some chips out I've done a splodge there And he's got a chip And he's gonna taste I'm gonna go in for the splodge Do you think this sauce is available In Morleys though

I mean when you buy something You mean like in a little pot Yeah I don't know I presume so otherwise what they're doing You see that's a fine sauce But I don't think that goes with chicken I think that is definitely a burger sauce. You think, you think, oh, a nice, juicy burger.

I can, it's weird. I can literally taste the burger van meat and onions and the pickle and the ketchup. Because it's got a bit of everything in. It's like when I eat it, I feel like I'm at a music festival. Or I'm outside a fast food restaurant at 3 in the morning after going out for a couple of drinks. You know what I mean? There's a little hint of spice. Yeah.

That's good. That's a nice balance. Creamy, yeah. Creamy, little bit oniony, sweet. and then it fades down to a sort of umami and chili right at the end a little chili little sprinkle I'm going to go in on the spoon I had that on a dip another yeah fine look there are bits of that looks like chili flake in it there's dark well we can only hope so because I don't want to think about what it else might be a ratchet well you know toe nail yeah and the onion is like

it's got texture it gives it some texture yeah the onion it's nice I'm gonna go four I'm gonna go four point two for that I like it but you wouldn't I don't know if that wouldn't go with I mean Sauce can go with whatever, but like for me and chicken, that doesn't seem like it's chicken sauce. It doesn't scream chicken to me, but the heat pushes it more towards that, you know, the spiciness. And that's what distinguishes it from sort of a more general burger sort of sauce. I think I'd rather have that over chips. I would have that shit out of that with chips.

Oh, anyway, Alam's going to give it 3.5 because I didn't really wow me. We've got one last sauce on the menu, Paul. And hark, pray tell, what is that? And this is probably the most exotic sauce. We'll be trying today's special episode of The Source Report presented by Cheap Show. This isn't even in English. Cato is the manufacturer.

Go on, do the gag. About Inspector Cluzzo? Yeah. It's like, did you go looking for it? It jumped out of another cupboard when you weren't looking and hit you. Yes, it did. Thank you.

It's the best I could come up with. Because I'm not, mate. I am not doing an accent. I am not doing Cato. Good. Moyo cremoso. Di Pimenta defumada. Which I think means creamy sauce.

Pudenda. Pimenta. Oh. Peppers. Oh. Which I think, I believe, would mean creamy sauce of smoked peppers. Diffumada. Fine.

It's a very orange-looking sauce, isn't it? Cream. What? It's the cream. Yeah, no, but I'm just saying it'd be rare. If it was normal and not creamy, it would be red. The addition of the white cream. Yeah.

Lightens it to orange. No, I get it. I'm just, all I'm saying is I observe the fact that it looks more like tango than sauce. It looks, they have Tizer. You can get Tizer still. Yes. Didn't know that. You should have.

We had this conversation a couple of weeks ago. It's 60p or something. Yeah, no, it's dirt drink. It's dirt cheap. Yeah. And I think remember that we had that, OK, so Patreon supporters

will have heard this podcast by now, but we did a podcast recently where outside of the 450 clips in the data banks, we were recording our journeys to him from those locations. Yes. And at one point,

we bought a few tins, didn't we? And I got that big red thinking it was going to be a cinnamon drink, but it ended up tasting just like Tizer. I was so sure it was going to be cinnamon because I'm sure there's a brand of chewing gum,

called it. There is. There is. That's why I got it thinking, oh. A cinnamon soda, yeah. Which I was sure exists. And it just tasted like cider.

I guess sasperilla's kind of like that, kind of root beery. You know, it's got similar. Yes, it's in that realm. Oh yeah, root beer does have something in common with that cinnamon, doesn't it? But there are drinks that are very cinnamony.

Yeah. That was definitely a bit of sick. I'm having trouble keeping food down. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we've got the jelly pickle. Yeah. Now, there's a lot of this.

had literally about six or seven different variations of this brand of source in the shop up the road. It's mad, isn't it? I believe this is Brazilian just like Julian Lloyd Webber. What? Variations. That's the name of his album. What I'm doing with my date? There we go. The way you splashed it out, it looked like you would just come on it. The way you like gripped the neck and fired it into the plate. It makes you think you've maybe done that before. Squeezy. Oh dear. It's quite vinegary on the smell. All right. Pass me that and the crisps. Last sauce.

for you, Paul. Thank you. Now, I'm looking for creamy notes. I'm looking for smoky notes and, of course, hot notes. It's got a nice, nice texture, not too runny. No, it's... You know? Looks like sick.

It looks slightly like sick. I mean, to be honest, this plate does look like sick right now, and it's slightly turning my stomach. Oh, I'm just going to do it. It's fine. Taste the creamy, smoky, spicy sauce. I think I am reaching my limit now. Okay, that's it. This is the last sauce for you.

No, I do not like that. Right, why? Because it does taste. a little bit like man fat. When have you eaten man fat? I've had a bisexual sexual history. Jesus, why does sex keep coming up today as well?

I don't know. Your sex life in particular keeps coming up. I've got the yawn horn. What's that? When you're tired but you get horny. Well, when you're hung over? Well, yeah. But sometimes I've done a big yawn

and gotten a hard on. Really? Yeah. Weird. Yeah, it's not that nicer smell, I have to say. It doesn't taste high quality. It does not taste flavorful. Oh, it's salty.

Yeah, that's why I'm. saying mate it feels like oh that's really salty oh there's nothing much else going on with that no i don't i don't mind it though that with some chicken that would be nicer my opinion that'd be nicer with chicken maybe but there's nothing there it's just so salty it's just sort of salty and gloopy i wouldn't necessarily want that on a plate unless i had no source left did you pick up on any heat no there is some heat at the back maybe i didn't get it all right that might be the worst thing i've had today well let's have this uh no no no no no you haven't given me your or scores of these.

You've just going to eat that. Oh, that was that. And then you haven't given any kind of qualifier. Okay, so we have a rundown of all the sauces because that is the last sauce. We did the rundown of the first bunch. We just need these two. So Morley's chicken sauce, I rated. I think that is quite delicious, I have to say.

I think I'm going to give it a solid four. I might have said that already, but a solid four. I'm going to go 4.2 because nice texture, a nice evolution in the mouth going from the sweet creamy towards spice, a little spice hit at the back. Do you what I mean? There's a journey. There's a little bit of a journey there.

But you can't say for a lot of the sauces we did today. No. You know, there's a texture, textual element with the diced onions. I just think it's a higher class sauce than any of the others we say that had today. The Maulies, if nothing else, placed me somewhere. And then the sauces sometimes are just sauces. It put you in a burger van in a festival.

But like this was very, like the flavors were obviously well tuned for what they are to make you go, oh, I recognize this flavor sensation in a very welcoming, cozy way. It was a good sauce and I'm going 4.2. And then we had perineum sauce, whatever it's called We had the creamy Anyway, that's Cato sauce Is the worst thing The worst thing all day

You already gave a one to the KFC What would you rather have? The KFC. KFC. Really? Yeah, because at least that affects What I'm expecting it. That was I don't know what to expect

And what I did get was unpleasant. I think it's a South American style, the saltiness. And like you say, it felt cheap. It wasn't inexpensive bottle. No, I wasn't if that's 0.75. Okay, fair enough. I would go, I'd go one.

point five for that. I didn't hate it that much and I definitely could see myself eating it on a piece of meat or fish. Fine, I don't know. I'd generally, that was, I wouldn't go back for it, but that was quite a cummy source. Yes. Based on my own personal experiences. Oh, drinking cum. And also, what a visual imagination might dream up for the same circumstance. Okay. Now, want to press the button again? Yeah. We're just going to have a little random taste of stuff. The problem is pressing the button means we instantly go on to the doummy thing. And I'm kind of going, maybe I can talk for a bit longer So I can put it off

But then eventually all roads must leave to gummy pickle This is gummy pickle My mate got from me from Vegas From the hypermarket Was it called? Remember that thing that I described to you The weird sort of immersive theme park game thing Yeah, thing

I'm going to press stop now Because I need to Press stop and then we'll have the gummy And lo we reach our final segment today our final piece of culinary fun. I'm just going to mention something. I will allow. If you put your finger up first, I'll allow it.

Thank you, Eli. I'll allow it. We were going to taste this, which I've already tasted, also from the same person who brought back from L.A. Thanks, Adam. Tarkies with chili powder to dip. This is like a Tarkis-flavored sweet, like Sherbert dip.

But instead of sherbet powder, it's like... It's tachy powder. It's chili powder, yeah. Yeah. So what is the thing you're dipping in then? It's like a tamarind hard. candy, boiled sweet on a stick. Yeah, I'm not doing it. Yeah, I'm not doing it.

Okay? Because it really was horrible and dusty, but quite nice in that real way. It's weird how tacky of their branding has just gone. Here's our flavour profile. Let's put it in every single different type of, like, convenient food you can buy on a supermarket. Popcorn. Yeah. Crisps. Kettle type things.

Pringle type things. This is sweet. Basically like fucking sherbet dip, that basically, isn't it? But I think it's because it's from... What was the other thing? Wasn't there a little cup thing we had? That was tacky flavor, that it was juice or something. just water, like juice. Oh yeah, no, that was like the pickled jalapeno and a gurkin in Tarki juice or whatever. That weird fucking thing.

And this is very similar. But I think it's because it's a Mexican firm. And in Mexico, they have like tamarin sweets and chili sweets. And there's more of a sort of crossover between the world of confectionery and the world of savory food. It's less of a more delineated line. But you wouldn't, for example, a similar thing that has gone on here on a smaller scale with branding has been the Slush Puppie brand, right, which has been put on everything, but they wouldn't put it on crisps, like, or they wouldn't, do you see what I mean, they wouldn't do something like this.

Vimto, yeah. Put Vimto everywhere. Yeah, but they don't do, they don't cross over into Savory, do they? Do you see what I mean? No, no, no, no, you couldn't do Vimto Savory. Tarky can go into the world of confectionery. They are like confectionary curious. Yes.

You know what I mean? Like, they're bi-confectionary curious. They're open to it, but it might not work out for them in the long run. It didn't work out, because I have tasted this, and it's very dusty. You know what I mean? Like a dusty, like you're putting sawdust in your mouth with a little stick thing basically

And I'm not going to make Paul have that But I do have a gummy pickle, Paul And this is a dill-flavored gummy. Can I also suggest one more thing To add to this last final segment But only if you think it's appropriate I keep seeing that tin down there Oh yeah, of course

Is it one of these going to wash down the other Is what I'm thinking It's not going to work It's not going to be good This fucking verping thing Now this Another big trend in fucking food is Dubai

chocolate and this is a Dubai chocolate flavoured soft drink. Wait, what? I thought you just said it was pistachio. It says fresh pistachio is the name but it has a picture of Dubai chocolate on it. Have a look. Yeah, no, I see it. It's very strange. It's very strange because part of me is like, when we

ate one on the podcast, I didn't know that it'd already been a huge big thing about it online within Twitter and TikTok. And then by the time we did it, it was already seemingly passe. But then in the interim of time, this shit's coming out. everywhere. It's everywhere around here. It's called Dubai here.

It's called Dubai chocolate. It's all part of this weird, slightly unsettling kind of fetishum of like Saudi Arabia culture for affluence. Affluence. Do you know what I mean? Yes. It's sort of like a... It's like grandfathering in the idea of wealth.

A luxury. From the disgusting wealth that exists over there right now. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of trying to say it's classy stuff, isn't it? This might be quite a nice pistachio flavour. a drink? I liked the actual chocolate. It is very tasty. I think it's overhybed bottle. Totally, yeah. And too expensive

for what it is as well. And yet here I huff and I'll see what notes it gives me weird. Smells a pistachio? No, it smells kind of like lemonade. Oh my God, there's a... Do you want me to have first soap? Yeah, go on it's fine. All right. Yeah, all right. All right. Let me just drink a bit of this then. So it's a green.

It's a seat... Pitcher on our website, the cheapshedocco. UK, but it's a see-through tin. and the liquid is a very kind of lime green. Here we go. What, are you getting a different smell? I'm not getting much from the tin itself. As it was fizzing, I got a chocolate-y...

Really? Yeah, there's a chocolate and pistachia, yeah. I just smelled it. But chocolate in that Lynx after-save chocolate smell that they did that time of the 90s. Right. Do you remember that? Yeah, it's very artificial almost.

Can I just be honest? I know Lynx in general is fucking disgusting, honky shit. But that Link's chocolate sense was just disgusting just absolutely fucking ranted you smelt like a dusty sweet shop yeah horrible yeah anyway go try this pistachio

oh no no I don't think that works oh god no I don't want to drink it now god that's the worst thing Paul's had all day that is the worst thing Paul's put in his mouth all day everybody it's not so much unpleasant it's just the notes are off

do you know what I mean oh that's terrible that is such a gimmick That is That's kind of You can taste the nuts But there's That little chocolate note Everything is fighting each other

Yeah That's it Everything's at odds There's a creamy vanilla It sort of does taste like To buy chocolate though Weirdly Ish but the thing is

That works because it's chocolate Right But this is like A fruit drink This is like Sprite Pretending to be Dubai chocolate Or something Weird

Weird Really weird Unpleasant Don't you think Super unpleasant Oh Time for the pickle gurkin. Dubai edition.

Well, Dubai and thanks for all the fish. You're going to go back to my coffee iced latte chain. Okay, well, it's time for you to nibble on my gummy pickle. This is the big finale. Eli's been trying to wibble his pickle in my mouth for weeks now. Wibble the pickle. And it's a gummy pickle because, of course it is, because, oh, it's that company as well, isn't it? Yes.

That make all the big weird gummy shit. We've covered it in the past. And we had one of their super hot gummy bears. That's the thing about doing podcast for this long. You kind of want to talk about that company because if you haven't heard an episode before, you need context. But we've also given context in a few episodes. Paul, I just need...

Like those people who complain that we mention the whole fucking sweet notes in drinks and zero drinks. And I keep saying how I don't like it. And it's like, yeah, well, they should stop pointing the fucking drinks then. I mean, we've got to make this shit every week. I know. There's going to be a certain amount of... It's going to be a certain amount of socialarity, yeah.

And repetition. And not everyone's going to listen to every episode all the time anyway. And someone catch up. So, like... If you do, we love... you. Yeah, thank you for listening.

I want you to sniff this bag, Paul. You got the strength, got the mental fortitude? We're near the end, so...

Yeah, this is it. This is the last thing I'm going to ask you to put in your mouth until we press stop and then if we go back in the house pickles. It's Willie time.

It's Willie mouth fucking time. All right. Oh, too much for you? No, just, you know. You're the one going on about how you gobble cocks are used to. Look, I didn't phrase it like that

for a start. And, B, from you on a little bit of a little bit of fucking romance first. All right. We can go out We can go down the pub I don't want

I'll buy you a drink just to get a faux job Right Here we go Smell it I don't know why I'm shaking It's a gummy Yeah well

It's probably has some snufflation It smells very sweet And very dilly Like literally at the same time It's very strange Now nibble a bit Reach into that sack

Pull it out And just nibble the end Paul And what about this gummy pickle Yeah Oh, it's very girthy in my hands It's hugely girthy Look at it

Look at that I've got to take a photo of this Haven't I Swap that Swap it Listen, I'm going to put it on the desk Really swaps It's got thwop and suck

That is a sight to behold Not a bad mould You've got the little ridges and bumps On the pickle body It's like a half pickle It's got the veins on it And I like the fact that it won And it's slightly fatter

Than the shaft of it And it's got a stem as well Yeah That's a nice detail Stem I'm literally going to bite this little nibble it off the end That's the stem

That's what I mean That's the bit I'm going to bite off Well yeah Call it what it is though Not this little bit Stem Right

Oh God Is it going to be Spitty time Did not need this today Oh Paul That's it It's over now Oh

You see the thing about that is Oh On the face of it Oh It just doesn't work It just doesn't work But on the face of it it either could work as a pickle,

but you either do a pickle flavor without the sweet gummy or you just do a gummy-shaped pickle. Yeah, it's a taste of apple. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Either have a pickle that's actually apple flavor. You go ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, but it's nice. Or go full on with the pickle.

Yeah. And live with the consequences. They clash. But if you were talking about the actual quality of the actual pool, if you're talking about the actual quality of the gummy itself, it's pretty good gummy. No, yeah, no, the gummy itself doesn't like have that cheap, soft kind of American waxy thing going on.

It's quite a nice... Nice gummy. Little gummy. But I kind of really hate these whole giant gummy, weird gummy things because it just feels like wasteful commerce. The only people it's made for are podcasters and YouTube is looking for content. It seems that there's a whole industry just for people to make videos with.

I'm pretty sure things like Wish and Ali Express would have crashed. We're not for the YouTube community making videos about that kind of shit. Well, we don't do it all the time, Paul, and we try to have meaningful discussions about the products that we buy YouTube. said we won't buy. After the most deliberation, we won't buy stuff from Alibaba

Wish Timu because you know, the weird drop shipping practices and yeah it's trash and it's just churning out low quality shit into the world. It's like... It's killing the world. Yeah. Now do you want something nice? It's the very, very end. From the stuff you brought today, here is a peach gummy. Fucking hell, man.

Like literally, did I say at the top of the show? Stupid fucking cuns with bike vending's too loud for city set. I'm beginning to sound like my fucking granddad. What about your dad? Your dad wasn't a moment. I never met. My dad don't know. I remember.

Oh, was that funny? Right. Yes. That was good. Good bit of acting. You don't usually do acting. Are you telling me that I'm a better podcast or an actor when I'm broken, drunken, hungover? Yeah.

Oh, that's a sad. You don't self. Like the opposite of Richard Harris. You don't self-sabotage so much. Perhaps it's because you're sort of, you're a bit slowed down. Do you see what I mean? You're a bit sort of like to. So you're taking a bit more time.

I'm moderating myself for. Anyway, interesting thought. Paul, just because that was a bit nasty, the dill gummy. Let's finish with one of these peach gums that you brought. Someone has sent us in a big bag of like... It was a dog and lamp post. I can't remember that. I'm really sorry, but it was them who said it.

Are they called dog and lamp post? On Twitter, or X, they were called that. Thank you, dog and lamp post. The letters somewhere in the bag. Oh, these smell lovely. What are they? Are they lighty? Oh, they're peach.

Smell it. Little peach gum. He's from Japan, you usually can't go wrong. We've often found our most delightful cheap snacks from Japan. They do lovely cheap snacks. They have the whole category of cheap snack, don't they out there? They have this nice kind of peach tea flavour going on. It's like Lipton, it's like an intense lipton peat and peach ice tea.

And the gummy itself is very gelatinous. It's very kind of squidgey, almost like a kind of fish egg. Is it going to burst? No, I just think that's the kind of weird. Yeah, no, it's weird. Like a fruit thing. It's got a membrane. It's like a grape.

Yeah, weird. Yeah, that's not completely what I needed right then. I was hoping for something else. I really was. Oh, I know. I think we were expecting something else. But, like, I don't like gummies that pop in your mouth. It's got a skin.

Yeah. It has a skin. It's like that fucking gummy we did a little while ago. We had to peel them. Peelers, yeah, I've still got those. Well, overall, this has been a, I guess this is the definition of mid. Well, you said at the beginning it's going to be the worst episode of all time. It's the stigma.

I mean, mate, depending on public feedback, it still might be. I don't know what the worst, literal worst one is. I think it's probably just one of the really mediocre, boring ones. God, my finger smell of everything we've eaten tonight. It's kind of, I think, mate, we are going to have to wrap this up. Yeah, fine. Thank you. That was the source report.

Eli, well done. Presented by Eli Silverman and Cheap Show. And do bring sources to the live show, please, and tell me about sources that are going down. Also, please listen to the podcast and only bring sources that you're confident we haven't covered already on the show. Okay. Or I don't want to have to have a row with these people in public.

And please don't bring huge balls. We've done the Morleys, I'll say to them. Did you hear? The Morleys was my favourite thing we ate today easily. Maybe. I don't really want to think about it anymore. No. Wow, noodles are going mad.

Because of Bulldack and their Carbinar noodle, there's all sorts of copycat carbonara, creamy, cheesy style noodles coming out. And I have a truffle-flavored noodle for you to try next time. Paul. Okay, well, it is fucking banging.

A couple of weeks. The okay mama have that okay. Do you know what they did? They did the salted egg one. Remember the salted egg? Please, I'm clinging on to the end of this fucking recording session. The salted egg noodle. They've done a whole range of like ones.

My stomach has been assaulted. My mouth has been molested. I've had all sorts going in and I'm not my best. And I'll be honest with you, between friends, you know, outside of podcast responsibilities. I may be sick in your flat now. Okay, that's fine. You can do that, Paul. If you had some fresh air, if you had long hair, I'd hold your hair back and stroke you back.

And then you fucking take me Oh God, whilst vomiting? Weird. Yeah, I'd like that. No, I wouldn't. Maybe, I don't know. It would take your mind off the fact you were vomiting.

Is there anyone ever had an orgasm and vomit at the same time? I mean, I'm sure. I'm sure. Some people get off on it. I think most of Motley crew might have done that. Right. We're saying goodbye till next week. And I think next week, spoilers, if the fates are in our favour, we'll be doing a walkabout, one we've been trying to do for a while. So that'd be fun. What else? Oh yeah, our website is your one-stop shop for all things Cheap Show. The Cheapsho.com. If you go there, from that one point, you'll find everything that we do online, whether that's YouTube videos, extra podcast, Patreon, links, PO box information. Paul, don't mind me. I'm just going to tidy up. You tidy up then while we both. You do the sign-off. I'm just going to put this.

Okay, so even rustling, just me put stuff in the bid away. So the cheap show.com. Atk is you're on stop shop. Go there and you'll find us everywhere else from that one place. We're in the middle of uploading all of Cheap Show to YouTube music, so bear with us while we do that because apparently it's not as fucking simple as I was told. And lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely Patreon people,

thank you for helping keep Cheap Show going for a decade. Four and 50 episodes, we literally couldn't have done it without you. And so if you'd like to join those lovely people, go to patreon.com, forward slash Cheap Show. give what you can but please only if you can and I would like to add McScruncher and at the moment we just recently put up the behind the scenes

recording of episode 450 the podcast episode that goes along with that as well for our crap book Patreon supporters there's little bits of Bob's coming but ultimately thank you with all of our grotty hearts and finally tickets are still on sell for our live show as part of the cheerful

airful podcast festival you can find it on our website you can find it on their website but just look for cheap show 18th of October 2025 and you'll probably find it online. Tickets aren't that expensive. It's a 19 minute show and we'll do all sorts of fun in games

after the show as well. We've got some albums to sell, magazines to sell and with a little bit of look, Pim Badgers to sell too. So come and say hello, come and support the show live and we will see you there. Eli, finish this off.

Finish me off. Bye, everyone. Thanks. Always support the source. Sell us, send us out the door with a big send-off because, you know, it's your thing. Thanks for listening, everyone. It's all about the sources here on cheap show.

I'm about sources. I'm about pickles. I ate pickled food last night, and it's good for you. And also noodles. It's going to be doing the wrap-up saying now. Don't want to say anything, but I might be working on a new project

from the creators of Clankerman. I don't want to say anything because it's very much in the early stages. And also, please listen to my radio show every two weeks on a Sunday 2 to 4 on Soho Radio. It's called The House of Pickle Sound Show, everyone. Thank you very much. Oh, yeah, and you can also go to my new YouTube

channel that I make with Stuart Ashton and Oliver Hardy. There you go. You got Oliver Hardy, Oliver Harper. Oliver Hardy is the fucking Stan and Laurel. He's Stan and Laurel? It is called Stan and Laurel. It's called the League of Extraordinary Board Games. Every two weeks we play a weird board game from the past and we see if it's playable fun or

if it stands up. Coming up in the next few weeks, Crystal Mays, Treasures and Trajures and Trapped Doors, Operation and Jurassic Park to look forward to. And I also bought this on the way in. I wasn't going to buy this, but it was only four quits, so I thought, oh, I may as well get it. Which are the local charity shops?

The one up the road, the Marie Curie one. Mary Curie, yeah, nice people in there. The modern. Oh, Crystal Mace. It's the modern one. Oh, can't we do that on Gannon's Golden Games? Maybe, yeah, we can. But this is what I'm saying.

The reason why I didn't want to get this one is because, A, it's always been expensive, and B, the games aren't toyetic. They're all like card games and fucking maps and puzzles. It doesn't have the little toy things. No, there's no little kind of mazes or toys. So, that's kind of like, ah, fuck it. But it's £3.25. Yeah.

Wow, good price. So, yeah, so, you know, considering it goes for like 20, 25, 30, whatever. Nice, then good, looks like it's in perfect nick. Yeah. Well, I've got to go through it and check it. But anyway, that's what I got, because I got too many ball games, and that channel helps us go through them and justify their existence. Absolutely right.

Right. We'll see you next week for, we hope, as a walk-go-out episode, I can't wait for. It should be a lot of fun. And a cheap show keeps on trucking motherfuckers. Oh, you cut yourself? Ah. Oh, how'd you do that? I don't know.

Did you maybe, uh, did the scorpion bite you? Look, it's like a little triangular cut. Oh, maybe it's stigmata. Mate, are you blessed by Christ? No. Are you, a second coming? I'm half Jewish. I couldn't be.

He could. He was Jewish. You can't now be Jewish. Why couldn't he be Jewish? He was Jewish in the first place. Who does make the rules? We don't know. Well, we'll see you next thing to see if he was a weird.

It's a weird thing to end on. When you brought it to the attention, though, didn't you? I didn't say I've got a stagmarta. Stigmater. No, my stagmater. Stagmater is when you... Shag a big deer. No.

No, it's when you cut yourself on a staggedy. Oh. Got a stagmater. Oh, that works better. Tarrar, stagmalata. Bye, everyone. Bye.

Thank you.