CheapShow - Ep 457: This Was Not The Plan

Episode Date: October 10, 2025

This is not the episode we were expecting to put out! This week SHOULD’VE been a Tat Hunt episode but a technical disaster made it impossible for us to release until the audio was rescued. With a bit of luck, next week we will have the walkabout adventure we were super happy with and sad we may have lost forever! Until then, Paul and Eli had to do something this week, so they dove back into the “recording studio” to somehow pull a new episode out of their arses! Was the effort worth it? You’ll have to be the judge of that as Paul grabs some games from his bulging sack to see if there are any that can fill ONE HOUR of real time, red hot spicy CheapShow action! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-457-this-was-not-the-plan SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/cheapshow---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-18th-oct-2025-tickets Watch Our 450th Episode Celebration YouTube Live Stream! https://youtube.com/live/ErCEZo6V3AE?feature=share And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

And go And go. And go. No, do that mean that's fine. And go. This is not the episode you were expecting this week. This is not the episode we were expecting to put out. This is the episode that we have to put out because of technical snuff-nuff-wooos

that made Paul Gannon angry puss. Angry puss and stress puss. Paul, could I interject here, please? Please interject. Because, you know, you're obviously very emotional. and that leads to mouth noise. It often leads to mouth noise, gubbage.

Yes, garbage and saying snuff. And what you wanted... Snuffoo-foo's. Snuffoo. Is that what you were getting at? Oh, that's a snuffo's a good one. Yeah.

Technical snuffoo. Situation normal. All fucked up. All fucked up. Fub bar. Which is fucked up beyond all reasonable to believe. All recognition, isn't it? Yeah.

What's that? Or Nubah. Nougat under... New Guard under Barry Let me just interrupt you, Paul, so there's no mouth noise rubbish from you today. So, all right, yeah.

No, no, thank you for... Can I just say two words? Go, please. New Gar, Bannister. Fucking hell. Right. So explain what happened. I'm trying to, but you keep saying things like

New Bar Harrington or whatever it was. That's better. Anyway, I love that word, Harrington. Yeah. Anyway, hello everybody. Hello. That's Paul Gannon and I'm Eli Silverman. We were...

in Teddington. We were on Monday recording a Tatt Hunt episode. It was two episodes, right? We were recording at once. Which we were doing because I'm a very busy man this week. Eli strangely is a very busy man for he has a small but not insufficient role in Stuart Ashen's new. Not insignificant. What did I say?

Insufficient. See, listen, I'm sorry to pull you up, but you are Mr. Word that doesn't mean what I want the word, an actual word, that actually means what I want to say. So I've gone for close enough. But then you've become like that Twilight Zone episode. You know, when that guy, it was one of those late Twilight Zone's in colour. I'm going to blow my brains out. Let me just finish this fucking thing.

And then all words started to, people, he couldn't understand everyone started talking gibberish. I'll just strip it down to the basics. I won't try and be funny or overcomplicate my sentences. Here we go. We recorded a TATHunt episode, part one and part two on Monday. I took their footage home. Next day, took the memory card out of the Zoom. hand recorder put it into my computer

computer said no it wouldn't recognise any of the files they were all corrupted uh were they corrupted well it basically said the fight you couldn't it couldn't find but didn't say file corrupted well no it kind of did when I dragged it into it was all big red signs coming up saying you can't use this so

all of a sudden I was like shit that's two episodes worth of content Eli's very busy now this is where disaster also your washing machine blew up well that's a deal I'm not even going to get into that I've had Quite a lot of stressy anxiety, miserable things happen this week, which is basically ruined my mental health completely.

And it's been ages since we've recorded an episode this late into the week. No, it's Wednesday. Almost tomorrow. Which is why I need to explain the next thing. Because the hero came in to save us, Tom, from Channel 84 Variety Show, sci-fi show. You know, we've mentioned Tom many times. He's been a guest with...

He has with the board game TV game show special with his podcast versus Ethan Lawrence's. Anyway, Tom has helped us out before. saving files. Tom came to my place yesterday late night, grabbed the mini card, the micro-sd card thing, ran it through to cut a very long came over late at night and grabbed your micro-sd. Yes. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, and that came on his big beard, all right?

Oh. A big fucking chunky globs of archie cum came out all over his face. Chunky globs of arching cum. Yes. Chunky globs of arching cum. Chunky globs of the air. Chunky globs of arching come Well, they go everywhere

Chunky globs Chunky globs Big chunky bullets of gelatinous spunk Right, I'm just going to go ahead and say I don't want to have to any later than the day than I have to today I'm just going to go ahead and say

I'm just going to go ahead and say See in a bit, I'm just going to go ahead and say You're like Stuart Hall that fucking guy from it to knockout who laughs for no fucking reason You're just like him. You're just like him. Oh.

So, Tom, long story short, has basic... I want to check the footage later tonight, but he's basically recovered a huge ton of it. So I'm going to do my best next week to see what's there, peter together, and we're going to try and put that out next week instead. Hopefully it will still be two episodes worth. We'll see, we'll see.

No promises. We'll see. So as a result, so we don't miss out on a week of content of Cheap Show Joy, We're going to throw out a quick real-time, one-hour episode today this week. Has that started already? No, this is, now it's going to go into the music. There's an hour after that. And then it's an hour from that.

It's going to be your fucking ages. Well, you keep talking about spunky arcs of junkie come or something. No, you talk. Not junkie come. Junkies chunky cum. Oh. A junkie's chunky cum. In the back of the front, in the bink in the bum.

It's junkie's funky pump. Is this the spunk bank? Do you pay for spunk? I'm a junkie. I can't do it. I'm not in the mood to do. whatever it is you'll do. I'm rubbing my needle holes.

I'm rubbing my needle holes. I'm not the move for this. I've got very chunky cum. Eli Silman, Paul Gannon is not in the move for this. I want to just get into it. Six minutes. I was told if I came here, I'd get paid for my chunky cum. Thank you.

That's the end of that improvised sketch of Eli Silverman. Here's this week's Cheap Show. Cheap Show. It's the price of shy Cheap Show Welcome to Cheap Show Hello, welcome to Cheap Show The Economy Comedy Podcast with Eli Silverman

and Paul Gannon That's him and I'm me Go for the Bargabins, Charity Shops, Poundlands, et al of the UK and bring you hopefully the treasure we find amongst that trash And this is an impromptu One hour real time

Helps Paul out in a pinch To get an episode out on a Friday Episode of Cheap Show And And I have somewhat of a plan. Have you got some treasure that you found amongst some trash? Well, so I treated myself last week as a late birthday present. I went and got the Lego Game Boy set in Watford.

And while I was there, I popped into that charity shop that's just around the corner from Smith's Toys. You know, we went in there for the funnily enough, the Tat Hunt episode we did in Watford. Oh, there's a Smith Toys up there, yes. that's right yeah so anyway while i was there i went past the chat shop thought i'll pop in see what there is and i found the three games that we are going to play today in the next 59 minutes i like a game yeah i played uh open face chinese poker last night yeah and did i win did you yes how much seven pounds 30 that's all right isn't it yeah how much did you have to give back because you were already in no no it's just a running total oh okay i owe like aggregate yeah yeah i owe about 650 pounds then

650 pound. I've been playing against the same guy for over 10 years. But then... 10 p a point. So I'm about 650... Is he ever going to, like, claim that in one go? I already paid off.

When I pay... I won a Christmas poker tournament and won 400 quid and he was there and I literally handed him 200 there. So I've paid it down. Yeah. But the thing is...

I'm not your counsellor, by the way. I'm not here to help you. He was much better at it. Yeah. Yeah, considerably. Towards the start. But now, The amount I owe him has been around 6.50 for the last 18 months.

It's been in a tight band because we've played us each other to a standstill. Right. Like, we're really good at that game, you know. I rose to his level of skill at it, basically. Okay, okay. So now we basically, it just fluctuates narrowly. But you don't think in the next 10 years you're going to get that down to nothing? I don't think I'll overtake him, no.

Do you want me to kill him? No. Just pop him out. He's very interested in games. He was trying to develop a, you know, pirate based it sounds like sounds like the fucking

little Britain sketch the pirate game thing I don't remember that you don't remember that that was the best thing they did I don't remember it I honestly don't remember it he went into like a shop

yeah volumes and was he like dressed up in some kind of racially insensitive way no it's one of the ones that isn't like problematic right okay and he goes Margaret right have you got a pirate game

and he wants a very specific kind of pirate Pete, a little Britain sketch now from the beginning of this episode. No, we're not. I'm just... Listen, people like listening to me talk about things. You don't, and that's your problem, sunshine.

So when you say people, it's not everyone, is it? Because I'm the example that proves that it's not true. Listen, my little petty flue. My little tiny flower? No. My little tiny flower. It's... It's...

It's... Coleyflower. Is it? Yeah. So, why did you call me that? Because you are mine. You are my cauliflower. I'll be honest, mate.

I'll praise you. I'm struggling. I'll get the nice black and stripes on you on the grill. The black and stripes? The black and stripes. The black and stripes of charred cauliflower. What's going on? On the grill.

What's going on? So these games, eh? I'm just saying I was playing games last night. Also, I recently played... If you say Balatro now, I'll break your fingers. Splendor. What's that? It's that gem trading board game.

Right. Two players only takes about 20 minutes. good actually. Easy to learn like that. Blam. Splendor. And I also played recently that tile

game. It's called Azamuth or something Azal. Oh yeah, that big board game. It's scoring. That one?

Easy to pick up again, easy to pick up and you can see, I like games where it's like you can learn the rules quite easily and then you start playing your first game

and then you start to have ideas about strategies. That's a good game. Yes, no one is. You think, oh, perhaps if I did this or did that then I could, you know what I mean?

That one's got, like, loads of stickers on the front saying board game of the year or whatever. You can see why. Yeah. But in terms of gameplay, it was quite similar to this game, Splendor that I played as well. Basically, you're trying to get to the end. Is it a knockoff of that British game? Sugar. Yeah, it's more like, it's like a fake sugar.

Yeah, very clever, poor, very clever. I'm very clever, that's a joke that only works if you're America, I guess, when you think about it, yes. I think they had Splendor here. Let's clap me. What were those little pink ones, sweet and low? Do you remember those little? to the American thing though, isn't it? Sweet and low. Wasn't it just...

Yeah, that pink wrapper. That sweet and low, is it? We're talking about types of sugar substitute. This is what happens, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, when you have to come up with an episode on the fly and you've got nothing. Nothing! There's a howling void through this episode this week

of just space. It's a liminal episode. It's not. We've had a proper liminal one. After we got blown into space after the diehard episode, I guess that's kind of liberal. Yeah, I guess that was a... Just wandering floating about.

I went to that charity shop and there were three games in there and I bought them because two were dirt cheap and one was expensive, but the expensive one... It's a nice looking item. So I'm just going to go ahead unless you have anything else you want to fucking say. I had nothing. I wasn't expecting to be doing an episode.

No, I know. I know. I had to know my lines. I know. I had to learn my lines. All four of them. And they were luckily because I hadn't... Yeah.

Basically, I'll tell you, now, no spoilers for the overall script because it's a very good script but here's some spoilers his lines are hello yes 499 please see you next week

there's your four lines isn't it no shout out yeah no it's this harder it's the same word seven times

harder harder harder harder and then oof oof well we wonder what have you got a tissue for me back

have you got you That got you, didn't you? It was very descriptive. No, mate, but I haven't got it to... I've got a fucking mop for what you've got. Give the old violin right on your spine. Scoop it all up. Squintinging in the old tubbers.

Right. In the old tubbers stop. No, you're close to losing it now. I don't care. Let's not lose it. We're going to play some games. I'm willing to go all the way. I'm willing to go all the way.

We've got fucking so long to go. We've got 53 minutes basically. We might as well... crap for another three minutes. Well, we fucking do anyway. Look, this game we're going to play is not going to take too long to play. It's such a quick little game. But the reason why I got this is not because, oh, I thought, oh, what an amazing game.

But because this, I vividly remember from my childhood. And when I saw it on the shelf, waves of memories came back of getting it on Christmas Day, playing it. It was weird because I also had this memory of a game I had that I didn't even remember what the point of the game was. Do you ever remember this toy? It was a toy stroke game, but it was like some kind of weird shaft with a spiral kind of plastic thing going up it where you would put...

Like a helter-skelter? Yeah, and you'd put marbles in. Was it on the outside? Yeah, okay, like a marble helter skeleton. Yeah, and you put a marble in, it would go all the way up because the spiral would twist and it would make marble go up.

Did it have an engine? Had a mechanical... A little battery in, yes. It would move it to the top, and then it would fall out the top, and the idea was it would bounce on these little drums and there were like these four little plastic tiny drums that had a tight little

kind of drum skin to them and the idea was they just bounced down boing boing boing and that was the game but it was not a game more like a sort of yeah like one of those like a marble run sort of type thing but apparently it was a game I don't know what the rules were I'd have to

you know what I haven't even looked it up probably there's a skill to getting it to land just right or I'm wondering if there's like a trick shot thing to it where you can try and space the drums out to make them do different angles I don't know if you put an angle it might go boring like American Ninja or whatever where he has to go

yes yeah yeah yeah side you know ultimately that it was this this game was part of that memory like like early 80s maybe I got them given to me by my uncle or something because he had them in the 70s so this game without any further ado is by MB games and it's called dragster

the great dragster race game of speed and skill go with a flick of the trigger your marble shoots the cars along the track first player with four cars home is the winner. So it incorporates a kind of pinball mechanism. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love that cover. Is that a photo? No, that's a drawing. Is it a painting? It's a kind of painting drawing it looks like. It feels like a painting, doesn't it? Or it might be like an augmented image where it's half. Like a photo that's been coloured in. Let me have a look at that.

That's what I find most fascinating. No, it's an illustration. Is it? Just the lengths people used to go to. It's actually a beautiful... Yeah, so basically it's like this plastic... yellow, I presume vacuum-formed kind of grid where you've got two rows of four lanes.

You flick a little rubber trigger which bounces your marble at the top and it rolls up to the top and then drops down knocking one of the cars into the finishing line, right? However, the more cars you knock, the harder it is to get the remaining cars because there are more open lanes now. So it's the first one to get all four cars down the lane

by just flicking like what the rubber we'll open it up you'll see that'll be careful because it's all loose in there but you can see oh it's lovely quality plastic yeah

oh feel that it seems to have some damage there in the middle maybe but it also could have been the way it was formed now that's now I know what that is

it's sprue oh or flash there's flash and sprue flash and sprue I love those terms this is sprue is the little kind of no when you get a

When you get a model, plastic model, or airfix, I think they used to call them, didn't they? And it's in a frame. Yeah. The sprue is like the bits that attach, if you see what I mean. Yes. Isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And those are known as the rails, the actual, the rods that.

Yeah. So that, I mean, you're mentioning that because we mentioned it on that 31 days of Halloween. We did. Enjoying that, everyone? Yeah, still ongoing. Still regret doing it. Ongoing workload I don't need in my life, honestly. But there we go.

We had fun making them. And by that, I mean, it was hot. We didn't have fun making it. It was horrible. We had been really annoying. They got worse as we got on. But anyway, that's looked forward to. Every day.

Everything about it is negative. Yeah. On the run up to Halloween one a day. Enjoy those. Enjoy. So, yeah. So you have to get all of your cars home. Yes.

And they sit up here. At the top with their little front wheels resting on the starting line. Or in the groove there. I love this. This is cool. Yeah. I'm sure I've found one of these little cars. probably somewhere in the wild

because they turn up the little plastic little kind of F1-esque well they're dragster cards they do turn up don't they yeah they are the little dragster cards so there are four little red and four little blue one you sit at the top of the lane you flick your ball the ball goes up to the top

rolls down like as I say like a pinball game kind of thing you can leave it in the box if you wanted to I guess where are we going to do it? Well we can we could do it on the floor or something we don't I don't know on top of this expressed it all that works yeah I don't care

because you're just flicking okay and keep it in the box yeah hang on let me yeah hang on we're still recording

I'll set it up yeah so he's going to set it up so there's going to be a picture on our website for this the cheapshotco. UK so if you go to the page for this episode

you'll see images of what we're about to play I know it's a very visual thing and doesn't really translate to the audio podcast completely however this episode was not meant to exist

so this is what you get and deal with it Or I, stop picking on me. Right, you're setting up the, and like nice black marbles as well with a little rubber trigger. The whole thing is intact. I mean, it hasn't got a lot of moving, oh, there you've done it. You've done it.

You've got to do that four more time. It's basically the skill is similar to a screwball scramble or something. Yeah, or what is that game that playing Japan and I always get the name one wrong? Pachinko, Pachinko. Yeah, like that way, you're just fine it at random. But as I say, the idea is you meant to be using the marble to push the cars past the finishing line. And it's a race? Yeah.

Getting all the cars over. Yeah. So how about... No, you go at the same time. It's the first one to do it. Well, be careful not to put... You have to... Yeah.

So we're going to go away from the mic. I'm going to tilt them. Now, we're going to adjust the mic so you can hear us shouting and I'll do some pissball commentary. But honestly, the game shouldn't take that long to play. So we're just going to make us... Bear with us while we move microphones. Again, here we go. Here we go.

That's one. I'm just going to stick that there. And I'm going to move this one here. Right. Well, I don't know if you can hear it very well, but here we are. I'll turn it up a little bit, maybe. Hi, everybody.

So Eli, I'm in the cockpit. In the cockpit. Can you change my tyres, please, Flanky? Yeah, and I'll see you later, yeah? For drinkies, yeah? I see it hard to me. Hard to me. I'm putting your wheel on.

Yes, I love a drink. Thank you. But I'm on the job. And the bar up there that's in the stadium, yeah? There's cars going past. Get in the car. What's your nice to drink? Coca-Cola with rum.

Ooh. Thank you very much. Cuba Libra. No ice. Well, you're a party time guy, I can tell. Get in the car, you're running behind. I don't want to get in the car anymore. I love it here.

Talking to you. Oh, you can fucking drill my wagnut any time. Right, knob off. We've got 45 minutes. Let's make this work. Are we starting? In a minute. On your orders.

Right. So. Paul is the red, cut blue car and I'm the red car and do you know what? The red car and the blue car had a race selling milky bars all over the place I don't know how the rest of that goes. Right, so three...

They're red cars and blues cars everyone. Three, not blues cars. I'm going to count three to one, go. Shut up. Shut your fucking stupid mouth. Let's just do this. All right, hold up. Are you going to hold the side of the box for stability?

Yes, I am. Look, see. And then listen, I'm going to say three, two, one, go. And then you can start boingy-boinging. Right. Ready? three two one go right oh that's the first car down he's in the first place next one oh i didn't do a very good job with that one i'm gonna do a stronger one right that one's down two down two across eli's got two down as well but he keeps going on to the fourth lane i'm jumping over oh i've just

missed it and he's firing it again he's being very measured where i'm being a little bit more reckless uh and what's this oh i've got a third one down now also is eli one to the last one Shit, the inside lane. The nearest one is the hardest one to do, isn't it? Yeah, it's the in, it's the in. Oh, I like this. Yeah, it's good. Oh, you fucker.

Oh, no, that's too narrow. Oh, who's it going to be? Oh, oh, oh, oh, just bounced over the lane. There we go. I'm doing it again. I can't get the, come on, baby. Don't, I can't lose this. I can't lose this.

I need this to win. Oh, no. Oh, mate, it just went, it went across the top. Yeah, mine did that as well, as well. Here we go. I'm going to do this one. Thank God. I'll cross the finishing line.

Gannon wins. Gannon wins. Fuck off. Oh, it bounced across the hole, man. I know. You see, that one. I saw it happened to mine as well. Had to mine as well.

But there you go. I was in the leads. It was pretty neck and neck, to be fair. That is fun. In it? It's just a fun little silly game. You should hang on to that. We should use it in some kind of.

You know. Maybe we can do it for a cheap shot's video because it's a bit more visual. Can we, can we do that for a cheap shot's video, please? I've also, I've also got for a cheap shots video a game that I do want to play. Again, I got in a charity shop for almost nothing. Actually, that's not true.

It was five quid. So I'm a fucking massive liar. Basically, it's that, have you seen it? It's that balancing Tetris game. Almost nothing. I know. It's like, now you know, everyone, Paul thinks a five is almost nothing.

Yeah, well, you know, I'm just a big, big money guy. Yeah. No, it's basically this kind of... Well, you do, because you gave a fiver, didn't you? Well, no, don't spoil it for the episode next. Paul was a hero to a lady in a charity shop. Hopefully, they'll find out next week about that. There was so much incident.

That's why I was so stressed that we might have lost those episodes, man. Trust me, I was also very stressed about it. It was a lovely day. I would go so far as to say one of our classic walkabouts. Yes. Weirdly, without, like, bad incidents, but full of incidents. Until the end. Well, anyway, you'll find out about that.

You was very nice. Paul was a hero, everyone. Anyway, we'll move and on, because hopefully we've got that to show them next week, all right? Anyway, what I wanted to say is the game that I bought for a cheap show, which I think you'll like, is like, it's kind of like a Tetris thing where you've got this kind of platform that's on a pivot,

it wobbles, and you roll a dice, and it tells you which Tetrino to put on the wobbly board. These are definitely Tetris Tetrinos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all four blocks, so it's either a straight or a square. No, it's four. They're four, one, two, three, four tetrino's. why it's called Tetris, Four, to Russian.

Quad is four. No, but this is Russian. Are they four? Tetrinos is the name of the shape. I'm made of four squares. Yes. Is that right? Yeah.

You've got the T, you got the square, you got the big, long one, and you got the... How does the T work? Because it's one, two, three, one. It's not. Oh, it's one. One, two, three, three, and then one belief. Sorry. One, two, three, four.

It's all based on the four. Tetrinos, yes. Hence the name Tetris. have they tried to make like five trinos other versions of the game with different amounts of belt Is this the six minute abs logic

That you want to do Abs logic If you know something about Mary Where the guy's in the car With the hitchhiker He goes, have you ever heard of seven minute abs? I've got something better than that Six minute ab

So it's like okay It's just the same but six minutes That's the whole gag gets better in context Wow Shut up I'm trying to qualify the nonsense you're saying No People like it when I say nonsense

Anyway the point is you've always the dice, and you've got to stack these things as high as they can before it topples. So you've got to balance the weight and you've got to know where to put it. Oh, that sounds excellent. Yeah, it's fun. Have you had a look at it? Yeah, very simple. Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine. And it's it seems to me like a little sort of

combo of a sort of Tetris style game with a little bit of jenga. Yeah, a little bit of jengue kind of thing. Because you'll try not for it to topple. Topal. Yeah, so it sounds fun. That's perfect for I think cheap shots. Right.

Do you want to do I've got two others What you want to do Let's do the card game first Sussed I've got that exact thing Did you get given it Or did you buy it

In a charity shop Because I've been wanting to do a segment On Cheap Show Paul All about cards Eli's parlour Well let's let's make this the pilot Let's make this to pilot No it's not

I haven't prepped them have I What's does he going to do this anyway No no no no No we can use this as the test bed For the idea Well let's just play it I mean we are Otherwise, we've got nothing.

We need a good name for my new segment about card games. Eli's card parlour. Yeah, that's fine. The card parlour. Yeah. Come to Eli's card parlour. Yeah, it's fine. I like card parlour.

Yeah, card parlour. It's got nice assonance, hasn't it? Lovely. So this is called sussed, question mark, all sorts. Make your conversations and adventure. Hey, mate, it says here age 6 to 100. Well. Stop touching your mic.

Go on. isn't that an expansion pack it's not the original well this doesn't say I've got to go get mine oh I go get it just put just cover for half a sec yeah I'll read on the back treat yourself all sorts of conversations

for all sorts of people a pick a mix of likes dislikes reactions wishes wishes and opinions oh that's what I've done discover as you read aloud the series of real and imagine scenarios you'll be given

oh got wind you'll be given choices to me make, what will you do? Will others know? This is one of those... I've got hiccups now because I'm talking too fast. This is one of those games where you reel a question out and your friends have to guess what you'd answer. I'm handing my one. Oh, that's volume

2. Isn't that cool? Isn't that cool? Can I hang on to volume one please? Yeah? After we play it? I wonder what the difference is. It's probably just more questions, isn't it? Who knows you best? By a company called Games to get. Oh, suss the game. Dot co.com. UK. So yeah, it's one those things we're a bit like Mr and Mrs or whatever you read out a question and your

friends family have to guess what they think your answer was going to be okay how are we going to play it we're going to just read a few cards and you'll have to guess which answer I'll pick and vice versa okay fine right because you do get a scorecard in it but like it's only really good if you're playing with loads of friends I guess I wonder if it's fun with these kind of games it all comes down to the tone and the writing of the questions doesn't it I mean you know let me just as we've played some of the these over the years. Do you remember the one was like, can you tell if you're a millennial or? Yeah. And that one that was made by those fucking people. How school of life or whatever.

Oh my God. To be honest, this isn't too fucking different than that. It doesn't seem like it's got some kind of pseudo. No, it doesn't have that. Self-helpy sort of bullshit. But it is one of those games where it's like, conversate as pastime, right? Have a chat and quite a game. I mean, a lot of games are like that. Right. Okay. Here we go. Here's your first one. Okay. I'll tell you what. I'll split the pack. So I do volume two? I could go from volume two. I thought you just said you wanted to save that.

No, no, no. All right, grab some from there then. Well, then we got a deck each. Voller one, vol or two. Presumably they'll go together. Yeah, because I don't think, you know, the backs are probably different colours as well. So, yeah.

Yeah, there's just... Oh, someone's played this. Have they? Richard, Bridie, Anna and Amanda. I wonder if they fell out. I wonder if they had sex. But, mate, there's probably kids. Later in life.

Right, fine. yeah the odds are good later in life yeah that's a big scorecard chunky yeah but this one's virginal yeah right all right yeah yeah yeah right I'll read you the first question then rules thing like that in yours yeah your mine is pretty mint on card they played it once now usually these games come with cards where it's like put ABC down and then you can turn it over but this one doesn't it just trust you that you'll write it down correctly now I've got the whole day

of sussed volume all sorts volume two in my hand which is orange and you've got the yellow original okay you're going to go for one right here we go I'll keep it simple man so here's the question

out of the answers what do you think I'm going to pick and I'll be completely honest we've got to be honest that's the problem you've got to be honest well I'll for the sake of this well why don't use the score card mark it down

that's a whole I don't want to please I don't want to do anything that involves more things to do I don't want to do things in general I know but it'd be so easy just to grab a pen and you just... I was so stressed this week I was considering having a wank to change my mood.

You know, sometimes you do that. When I feel lonely, like in a romantic way, I have a wank, I feel better. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Sometimes to kind of turn my anxiety off. I shouldn't have said that, really, I try and, like, turn my horn on.

Oh, no, it's good. It is good for things like that. That's what I said. It does, it can put you in a different state of... And it's good for your whole junk. You don't have to touch it to tell me what you're talking about. I'm not touching it.

I'm gesturing towards it. You grab the whole trolley. No, but it's good for the prostate. If you spunk up every day. This is not medical advice, everyone. Do not take this. It can lift your mood, is all I'm saying. And if you feel, and it definitely feelings of sadness, it alleviates.

Well, it didn't this week. Put it this way. Anyway, it didn't. No. Not even the moment of a mission itself. You know, like, when you come and then you feel empty afterwards sometimes, you're going to go, oh, I wish I had this feeling before. The shame feeling.

Yeah. Yeah. Or the kind of just all that... In that weird. The vacuum of that emotion going. Apparently people who have sort of rough trade. Do you mean rough trade? Like go cottaging.

Oh, okay. They have that intense feeling of shame because it's like it's driving them. And then as soon as they achieve... Then they're suddenly... You know what I'm doing? Where am I? Well, you know, that's... I had that beforehand during and after.

Anyway. Couldn't fix it. So you'll be honest, yeah? You have to be 100%... I was just honest about that, wasn't I? I was honest. That I had one of the most kind of empty wanks of my life this week. I was honest about when I feel lonely having a wake.

Well, it's what we do, isn't it? We're quite open here. Right, here's my first question. These cards are very revealing, aren't they? It's funny. Thanks for listening, everybody. Right, which would I choose if I had to play the same game every day? Would I pick?

Jenga, boggle, uno. What do you think out of the three of those I would pick? Who knows, definitely out. Why is that, then? Because you've expressed on many occasions how much he despise it, and card games in general. And it is like an ur-card game. It's like a... Ew.

What? What's that? An e-er card game. You know that word. It means like primal, like basic. How do you spell it? You are. You are.

Like the er. Honestly, that's a new one for me. I might be totally wrong. Card game. Nice. It's an archetypal card game. It's a very card gamey card game, that's what I mean. It's what I meant.

Right, I get it, I get it. So that's out. And boggle is that word game with the shaky box thing and you've got to find, yeah, you know, yeah, everyone those boggles. Which is like a sort of a sort of speed scrabble type game. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, word search. It's a word search more, yeah.

Or Jenga. Now, I think you'd say Jenga because I've seen you. You enjoy Jenga. You often think of Jenga as a sort of, you collect different types of jengers. We've had different Jengers for. I have two versions. Two, that aren't the original. The Vibrary one and the one that we use for the...

Vibratey one, yeah. The Vibratey one and the one where you have to hold it on a little stand on your hand. Yeah. You've got to pass it around. Yeah, that one. I would not go so far to say I was a collector of Jenga based. on the two versions I've got. However, you're wrong.

Boggle. I love word searches and word games. You do, I know, I was thought of that. So that I would get more... You don't play Boggle? No, but I have that word game on my phone, don't I? I fucked up there. Anyway, go on, you go.

You pick a card and I'll have a guess. Go on. It doesn't matter. Just pick one at random. Don't try and trick me, fool me. I'm not. I'm just seeing... I'm looking for an entertaining one.

Oh, okay. No, entertaining's good, I guess. All right. Oh, the next one's going to be good then for that. we'll see how Randy I get for that Come on Alright I'm just going to pick one at Randy

Because you're leaving gaps And when I have gaps Which superpower? Yes Oh yeah go on Would I Yeah You silver man

Rather have Right A A A voice Which could calm people down I mean Don't

Don't explain it You've got to be dry Because if you start inflecting Or putting your own Thought onto the answers Then I'm going to guess What you're going to say

I'll hold my tongue Yeah Hold your tongue Yeah Shut up B ears that could hear things up to 100 metres away Or C

A body that could move completely silently A, a voice which could calm people down Yeah B, ears that could hear things up to 100 metres away Or C, a body that could move completely silently See, I don't think you're going to say C I think you would struggle to find a practical use for that in your daily life.

I mean, it's only good for creeping up on people. It's only good for creeping on people. It's a terrible thing to suggest. And I'd worry if that was the answer that you got excited with that being... That's a pervert's choice. I'm going to go ahead and guess out of the other two, which is what, calm people down or hear. It's a tough one. Because I can see you finding benefits in having a voice that can calm situations down based on the people you work.

with and live with you know what I mean whereas I kind of think because you like for example going on Reddit and reading the comments I think you'd also like to have hearings so you'd hear what people are talking about you so I'm torn between the two but I'm going to side with the first one I think

you'd find that a way to make your life better if you could calm people down A I would go for B I would go for B yeah fair enough you've sold it to me more but I feel like I feel like that's not really a superpower like if you're good speaker and you have a nice voice

you can calm people down if you're yeah true if you have empathy I mean these are skills people can learn some people can't be calm so I think they're saying whatever the person well that's the superpower it's like your voice just calms everyone

calm everyone down yeah I would like that one if I had to pick out of the three I'd go with that one also yeah I mean obviously a body that can move completely silent is you fucked my best friend

now All you need to know is I did it for the good of our relationship To keep it spicy And you didn't hear me Thank you Um Is I see I would go for ears

That could hear things up to 100 metres away But I'd like to be able to turn that off Because I'm also very sensitive to noise pollution Yeah Especially like if you got those pigeons on your window I don't know I was thinking about the pigeons No it's they've had the babies again

They have babies all the bloody time Yeah because they're rats And then, you know, the babies don't, they're not rats. They're feathered rats. And then the babies don't make that noise. Then they go, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, yeah, basically. Of, jee, ye, ye, ye. E.

So, both wrong so far. Right, here's the next one then. What sort of people get on my nerves most, Mr. Silverman? Of these three. Of these three. A, people who text when they are talking to me. B, people who are too easily offended, Or C, people who give in too easily to pressure.

I thought to have to think about that one myself, actually. Let me think. What's the second option again? People who are all too easily offended. C is people who give in too easily to pressure or people who text when they are talking to me. Okay. B, people who are too easily offended.

Uh, A. You do that. I know. You do that all the fucking time. I know it's annoying, and I don't like it when other people would do it. Okay, so you're admitting a little susson of hypocrisy there. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. I thought you wouldn't do that because I stupidly assumed that because you do it, you do it, that you wouldn't mind it in other people. That's never the case if you think about it, is it? No. With anything. Do you know what I mean? People are hypocrites all over the place. It's like when you say one thing and then say another in the form of rap.

Oh, no, sorry. That's hip hopcry. He tried everybody It's fucking good in it It's not fucking good I'm going to go on my album That hip hopocracy Well you already have

That group Which one The The heroes of hip hop Hypocracy What's that It's their group They're a rap group

I'll turn it Is it? I'll just nick it I'll buy him off And I'll do it So you didn't come up with Hypocrisy I did

Just now I did Just because there was another word Outside You converged on it With some, it's a band from the 90s. Fine. So, I'm just, that don't impress me much. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you got a big pick up out there and you got, you got it.

I'm going to be because I think it's all right. Hair metal mullered in the back there. You got a course light up my butt. Give us your next card because I have got a problem. What? I have to piss real bad. But we're in the middle of it. We're off way through.

so I don't know can I go pee and you keep talking for a bit but you've got to keep on talking because I can't have silence yeah I'll be quick sure can you do that just maybe read something

or tell them something interesting about your life or a record what you got or something well that's putting a lot of pressure I thought I was going to be able to hold this in but right now I'm in discomfort and so I need to pay I'm just going to go

you go but you've got to talk because I can't have silences I'll hold the house and we're going to hold the house down absolutely out he goes he goes off into the corridor pity about

this week's episode but I'm extremely glad we've managed to salvage some maybe not all of this Monday's double episode recording session everybody thanks for supporting the show Paul's fine I'm a little bit nervous

I have to say because I've got my first day on the shoot tomorrow and it's quite, I believe it's my big scene tomorrow. However, this is what we do it for. This is what we do it for. I'm going to run out stuff to say. He's coming back, everybody, so not too much of a longer, hopefully. You know, when he's not here, I don't even want to say anything stupid.

What if I just didn't come back? Because I hate it, Paul. I hate being by myself here. I was just saying to them, I get no, I get no incentive to say stupid stuff. It's only when you're there getting tired of it that actually gives me joy.

Your displeasure and impatience gives me joy. Anyway, see, you're ready. Now, have you done a smeller? No. Why are you going, there? There was a farty smell. I presumed was you as I came in. It's my fucking, I left the washing.

Oh, that's a farty smell? Is that slight... No, it smells farty. It doesn't smell musky. It must be my breath, then. No, it was definitely like It had a kind of ass-gristled kind of feel to it. I have not farted.

Right. Should we play the last game now? Or do you want to do one last card from yours? I want to do a couple more cards now. Well, all you up then, you do one. You do one, then I will do one more each after this one. Okay. I'll find a juicy one to do.

Oh, this one's easy. Go on. Where would I... No, this for me, yeah. Where would I rather spend 100 pounds? Oh. A, the Disney store. All right.

B, Primark. C. Ralph Loren. Ralph Lauren. If you had 100 quid, you would probably spend it at Ralph Lauren. You wouldn't go to the Disney store for starters. And then I don't think you're a Primark kind of guy. So if you had the money, you'd go somewhere nice with it and you'd go Ralph Lauren. I mean, you know, I would wear Ralph Leroyerr.

Ralph Lauren. I've got to do a poo now. No, absolutely not. Don't try and push it out. You're going to gamble and lose, and you're going to win the poo-poo lottery. The poo let. Well, you lose the lottery.

Please don't do that. I might have done a bad eggy one. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. That was a silent but deadly. Oh, God. Can you smell it?

Yeah, it's bad, isn't it? I'm sorry. Luckily, I've had COVID. This will cure that, mate. I've had a horrible thing where, like, my... My fucking gut stink is like Vicks Vaporub. Now, why is it Vicks Vap? I love Vicks, Fem.

It gets right through the... It's coruscating. Yeah. Get right through the... You see me use that word? Corrugating, yeah. Corriscating. Corriscating.

Yeah. Is that when you go skating on Corriscating on Coruscating. No, it's like something that is corrosive, coruscating. Coroscating. The way that Vicks, if you inhale Vix, it's coruscating to the mucal membrane. your nose, as is your sulphurous stench bomb. Who's this then?

Who are these shorts by? Polo, Ralph Lauren. So I would say, yeah, Ralph Lauren then. You're right. But I was thinking, yeah, I would, Primark should be avoided because it's so, so bad.

What was the other one? Disney, I might get some nice pins in the Disney bag. True, but I would feel you would struggle to spend 100 quid there. But that's the thing. Ralph Lauren, you spend 100 quid. You've got like a pair of socks or something. I just think if you had the money

you'd spend it somewhere nicer than Primot, put it that way. Yeah, probably right. Got two more of these ago. All right, this is my last one. Which do I get most annoyed about? Thinking of a theme for these questions. Forgetting an important date, B, putting people putting their arm around me

or C, finding what I bought cheaper somewhere else. Okay, which of those three? Do you think? What was the first one again? Forgetting an important date. People putting their arm around. me of finding I bought something cheaper. Now, Paul, I'm not trying to be nasty, but you and date have had some issues in the past.

Yep. Getting dates wrong. Yep. You seem to have a particular struggle with the numbers between 20 and 30 for some reason. Yeah. As evidenced by that Barshan's episode where you fucking got that. And that was 23, wasn't it? So it's those kind of numbers that you really struggle with.

Date numbers. However, I don't think that. annoys you. I think it's a contingency you've built into your life and you deal with it, you know? Right. That's how we work anyway. Me and you together. And the second one was people pointing their arm around me. You do find that quite annoying. Because I do it too. I do it. Yeah, but that's you and everything you do annoys me. So that one thing is any worse to the others. No, let me finish a sentence. That's not on the list, is it? No, finishing a fucking sentence. We should be on this. D, cunt's not letting me finish a fucking

sentence because they're fucking feeble brain bell ends. What was C? Finding what I bought cheaper somewhere else. That's the one. That's the one you'd find most annoying, I think. No, it's A, forget an important date because it fucking burns at me. Okay. Because it happens all the fucking time. Yeah. Because it makes

me unreliable. I'm not doing very well on these. Oh, I didn't do. Did I get any of them right? Yeah, you got that one one, right? The Tetris was wrong? No, but that wasn't one of the questions, was it? It was boggle thing of that. And the other one was the

What annoys me What do I ate about people or something? I don't know. I don't know. Chess. Which do I think would be worse? Oh, go on. A, if I became allergic to all unhealthy food.

Hmm. Shut up. E. Shut up. B. Only ever being able to wear white clothing. C, having to move to the nearest city. Ooh.

Which do I, Eli Silverman, think would be worse of those, Paul? Having to move to a city. Only ever being able to wear white clothing. What's the nearest city, by the way, to hear? Maybe. Is it Birmingham? Maybe. Or they has to have a cathedral, doesn't it, the city, by law.

No, it's quite complicated. It's nebulous stuff. Map Men with Jay Foreman is a YouTube series. It's quite good on those type of things. Okay. He did cities. He did say, he had a whole video about what is a city, and it's not clear. Yeah, I don't know. Birmingham or Brighton or Leicester, I don't know. It would be Birmingham. That would be the nearest, I believe. I don't know. Anyway.

Which would I think would be worse? Moving to the nearest city, wearing white or... Allergic to all unhealthy food. Probably A. It would have to be that one, yeah. That's all you live off. Yeah, exactly. I know you'd get a dig in there. But it might end up improving your life and having to eat better. May more greens and vitamins.

I eat a lot of veg Okay, I'm not even going to get into an argument with you about it But also the white I would hate all of those But having to wear white, I think Also, what's your definition of unhealthy food? A lot of, a lot of There's a lot of disagreement about what is healthy and healthy food.

19 minutes left of this, can we just do the last game? Wouldn't you agree though? They always changing their mind on food, what is unhealthy, what is healthy? I think they're thinking like fast foods, cabas. Yeah, that kind of shit. Cababs has a lot of vegian. The kebabs round is.

here, they get a lot of fresh veg. Yeah. You know, so that's better than like a, a rustle's, or McDonald's. Yeah. McDonald's probably a little bit more nutritional value from a kebab around the corner than you are from McDonald's. That's what I'm trying to say. It's less processed.

The problem is it's still wrapped in meat and bread and sauce. It's still got a lot of fat and meat and salt. Yeah. It's just the nature of the beast. However, imagine if I had to wear white. That white is probably my worst color. Yeah. For my skin tone.

And, you know. Winter colors. I suit dark browns. Blacks. Fag ash dropping on your belly, creating a little shelf of dust and it would show up on your white trackie or whatever it is.

You look like those drug dealers that we used to go to see Greenleaf but the guy who used to always wear a pristine white track suit when he sold you the African grass cream. Yeah, didn't have fagash on that. No. Because that man fucking dressed natty.

Right. Here is the last game from a company called Format Games. It's called Wheels versus Doors. Oh. And so the idea is that you get a card with six things on and you randomly pick two things and then you have to guess which of those two things randomly picked are there more of? So on the example they give on the back of this

they say what is there more of American Prime? What is the example they give? They give movies featuring the rock or casinos on the Vegas strip which one of those are in the greater number. Ah, I like this. So just as an example, what do you think movies? versus movies featuring the rock or casinos in the Vegas strip which one has the most

which is the higher number yeah just using the example here cardinality that's what they're talking about yeah counting numbers yeah all right

but back go on focus on this and not just some assenine fact you want to add on to this to show weirdly that you're an intellectual which has been

proven not to be the case for the past 10 years oh yes I am you're a pseudo intellectual oh fuck you it's all buzz words and fucking numonics with you isn't it

Where you learn a thing, we don't understand the thing. I understand the thing. Anyway, what do you think there are more of? Movies featuring The Rock or Casinos on the Vegas Strip? Admittedly, the numbers will flux, depending on how all this game becomes, right? I would say there are more casinos on the Vegas strip. Yeah, you were right. There are 56 films with The Rock as opposed, you know, as it says here.

About 160, it says here, actually, for Vegas. So anyway, the game is basically that. What makes it different is that you have to put bets on your answer. is going forward. There's a bidding system here, yeah. You get, basically you have these little cards here which have wheels and doors on. And they're all random and shuffled up, right?

Okay. But when you place a bet, let's say you put three chips down, you were right, you get three of these cards. And the idea is it's the first one to get 10 of wheels or 10 of doors. Okay. They did the little yellow door cards. Yeah.

Are they randomly? Yeah. Okay. So. Give them here. There is a strategy to it because when you lose, like if you lose three, let's say you bet three and you lose, you've got to give up three of these cards from your hand. Yes. And but you can use it strategically to get rid of ones you want for sake of getting ten wheels.

They have to be all the same, ten. Is that right? Yes. And that's when the game ends. Yeah, when someone gets ten. Do you think we're going to have time to play it? No, I just don't think we should do this. We should just do betting.

What do you mean? Well, we'll just do betting and the one who wins the most over three games wins. Oh, okay. Just do it that way. Okay. So I'm going to give you... So it's always three. If we win, we get three.

Well, no, because you get up to five chips. Oh, there's poker chips. Yeah, you get poker chips to make your bet. So there's one missing with the reds. So do you want to be green, blue or yellow? Green. Right, okay, one sec. So there's your five green chips.

These are standard. I'm going to go with casino chips. Blue. Quite weighty, quite nice. This is the standard. You can do that thing. These are like Vegas. They'll have chips like this, but they'll have... The resort's logo or whatever printed on it.

They do that, do they? No, I can do it. Look. Look, give it here and I'll show you. Oh, go on, hang on. Just once on the table, yeah? Go on. Well, no, because it won't make a stupid sound on the table.

It won't work. You've got to hold it up to the mic. It's just not going to work. No, you know what, no. No, stop this. You see? No, did you see? Yeah, I saw it, but for the people listening,

it just sounds like clattering. Yeah, yeah, great. I can do it, though. All right, okay, but great, but that's useless for an audio podcast. He's just shuffling chips. It's not that interesting. So, yes, those riffling, they call it. And if you watch televised, I'll get them out.

Oh, my God, you fucking ham-handed bastard. I'll get them out. If you watch televised poker, that riffling is almost deafening. It's like a constant sort of like background noise. Yeah. Because poker players do it when they're considering their options. You know what I mean? It's like a fiddle.

And your mate wrote an article, didn't he? As I was just about to mention it. April Fool's, he kind of thing. April Fool's at the World Series of Poker, which is the biggest poker tournament in the world. They were going to ban Chip Riffling. Right. And then everyone got up in arms and it was like,

nah, he was making it up. It was what did great for his website, did great business for his website. All you got to do is lie and you can get your website. It was a great. Talking point, yeah. No, it's a great April Falls article. You know, there's been some classics over the years.

And there's a certain skill, isn't there, making it. 13 minutes. Come on. I don't want to talk about your. Boring poker life in interest. No, making the article absurd, but able to fool people as well. Right.

Do you see what I mean? Let me explain these rules very quickly. So we've got cards with six topics on. On the back, they have the numeric value, which reveals the answers. However, to pick the two random topics, you've got these cards that are numbered one to six. I've shuffling them up, and I'm going to face down, and you turn two over randomly, and they're the two cards that you have to, you have the two topics from the card you have to play. Okay.

Right? So we're going to use deck one here, and I'm going to pick it from the middle. And the six topics we have are feet in height, a beacon fly, blogs published every 10 minutes, mountain goats, black taxis in London, castles in Germany, yellow taxis in New York. Okay. So, Eli, there are six cards here. You pick any card you want and turn it over. Nine. No, six.

Well, how do you know? Because there's only six topics and six cards. It's six, everybody. So that's yellow taxis in New York. I'm going to pick this one here, which is two, which is blogs published every 10 minutes. So, Eli, I'm going to bet three. Oh, those are the two? Yeah, off this card.

So what is there more of? Yellow Taxes in New York or blogs published every 10 minutes. So how many blogs published every 10 minutes are there? No one does blogs anymore. What, I don't know? I don't know. This is why I'm going to... Is it 10 years old this game or something?

I don't know how old this is. I don't think it's that old. Well, I mean, blogs, yeah. I mean, blogs are still a thing. Like, you get substacks and things, which still counts. So, yeah. Yellow taxis in the whole of New York? Versus blogs published every ten.

Did we both have to bet on this? Yes. Because we both don't know the answer. So how did we bet? Well, I'm just going to say, I'm going to say three, and I'm going to put it on. Taxis in New York. And I'll bet three on blogs per minute, please. Okay.

Blogs for ten minutes. And the answer is, there are. 52,003 blogs published every 50 minutes there are 13,587 taxes in New York I went I thought that might have been the case but interesting all the same so that means you've got three points

so just think three points over... Think three points. Well yeah we'll add them all up as we go right I'm going to move all these cards around now all right I'm going to move all these cards around well we get the same ones again We won't because we get a different card now. So I'm picking a different card.

Oh, I see, yeah. So now the six topics are... Wineries in France, lions. Points scored by Michael Jordan, sweat glands in the human foot, species of birds, tigers. So, once again, Eli, you pick up any card you want.

Four. So that is sweat glands in the human foot. And I'm going to go for the one right below it, which is number six. Tigers. Tigers where? In the world. How many tigers are there?

I bet three on tigers. See, I'm going to bet. You're an idiot if you do. I'm going to bet four sweat glands. You think there's more select sweat? Yeah, but they're the tiny little sweat glands all along your foot. There's probably millions of them, thousands of them. And tigers are dying out.

No, no, no. You know what? Just for shits and giggles, I want to do the old country so I can see how we go. So I'm going to put five on it. You can't put five on it. I got five on it. You can't bet five because then you'll have nothing left to bet after.

No, it's pair around. You can bet whatever you want. All we're doing is gaining points. If I lose, I don't get any points. You're still three nil ahead. Okay, I'll bet three. Three on tigers. Yeah?

All right, the answer is, what was it? Sweat glands. Four and six. There are 125,000 sweat glands on the human foot. Oh, God. And there are 13,000 tigers. Fuck. in the world. So I think I get

five there versus your three. So there we go. There's your back. And on to the... But I don't lose the three I won on the last round. No, no, no. You've just got... So it's five three to you. Yeah. Okay. Well, so now we're on to the last round. And I'm going to mix these cards. I thought there was like two or three sweat glands. I thought it was like that. Yeah. No. I think you were thinking of glands as in like a lob, a globular of something. Yeah. Yeah. But these are

very much... Like a cox. Like a penis is a gland, isn't it? No. Isn't it? No. I've got to go doctors. Right, here's the next one. Why, your doctor's goes, will cure your belief that penis is a gland. I don't understand. Shut off.

No. Right. So stupid. The six topics. Stupid idiot. This time out are wild birds, computers, cups of tea drunk daily, mobile phones, chickens and tons of sandstone on airs rock.

Okay. So, Eli, you can pick a first number. I have number three. Which is cups of tea drunk daily. Oh, I was hoping to get tea. Versus... Oh, which one of my... I'm going to pick. I'm going to pick this one in the middle.

Four, mobile phones. We've only got eight minutes left, mate. I know. All right, phones versus teas. I'm going to, it's like mobile phones in the world versus cups of tea drunk. I'm going to say... Cups of tea drunk in, what's the... In England, per what?

I just says cups of tea drunk daily. Oh, wow. I have no more information than that. That must be the world. And what's the other one? Mobile phones. In the world. Yeah.

I'm going to put two on motor. mobile phones because I'm not quite sure that's all I'm going to say I'm going to put four on mobile phones okay and the answer is number three there are 3 million 700

000 cups of tea drunk daily there's like billions of phones there's more phones than people and four 15 million phones in the world as of when this game was made so we both went two no I won three there

okay I'm on two So I'm on seven And I'm on six Do you want to squeeze one more in? Well, we're going to have to fucking do it because it's the tie break Yeah, but it's fine

No tie break Because I'm winning So You're winning by one So Am I still winning? Do you want I can just end the game

now if I wanted to And win Fine if you're going to be a dick like that Because I want to What I want to do is Cockley Cockley go into the final round And lose completely

Cockley Cockley Yeah Cockley go into the final round And lose completely It sounds like I said cockley Right, here's the last card. Which wouldn't be hard for you.

Well, you know, we've all learned something today. Have we? Yes. I don't feel like we have. We've been quite open up. You learned about her. And I've learned about you wanking when you don't feel romantic or I feel romantic. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

You can't even remember anything. No, because I blanked it for your good. So I wouldn't bring it up every now and then, just for a laugh, which I will. You're a dick. Right, here in the final six topics. One, copies of Monopoly Ever Made. Two, domestic cats. Three, domestic dogs.

four acres of land in Europe five registered basketball players six miles to Jupiter boring so you pick I got five and I'm going to go for the opposite one two so it is domestic cats versus registered

basketball players I'm going to put five on domestic cats I'm going to put five on domestic cats too because I also agree that that's that that's no five is a basketball players so we're both putting five on cats. So if we're both right, you win by one point. Yes.

And if we're both wrong, I still win by one point. Yeah. Gannon wins. So it doesn't happen. It doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter. Well, tell you what, then, look at this. I'm going to take one off, so it will be a draw. Okay. So now we can least say it was a draw. Okay. Right. Five versus two. So five basketball players registered. There are 400 and, wow, 450,000 fucking registered basketball players. It's a big country, isn't it? I mean, yeah, but is that like over time maybe since the birth of the sport?

No. Or currently registered right now? 300 million people in America. Yeah, but really, there are 450,000 people registered basketball players. You know what I mean? Yeah, well, you've got schools. I mean, I'm not contesting the results. I'm just trying to find out what the parameters are.

I think it's valid. How many cats are there, though? Oh, there are 600,000. thousand cats and so therefore it's a draw it was going to be a draw anyway it wasn't I was going to win because I had one more didn't I took it off

housekeeping mate you got four minutes I've got that's plenty of time for housekeeping well do it then the one stop shop for cheap show is our website if you go to our website there are pages there dedicated to individual episodes where you can see photographs and sometimes videos that accompany the action of that

particular episode so if you want to go to thecheepshow.com.com that's you one stop shop links to our social media whether that's X or B-Skyy or Instagram, it's all there. Links to our YouTube channel as well because we have an ongoing 31 days of Halloween, daily uploads going on, and our fortnightly cheap shot episodes.

They're there for you to enjoy on YouTube. Go and find us on YouTube. We're on Instagram where you'll see photographs as well. And finally, this podcast has been going for 450 plus episodes, 10 plus years, and we couldn't have done it at all without our Patreon backers and supporters who've been amazing and supported us

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night busing, all sorts of stuff there depending on the tier that you join for as little as a dollar or $20. It's up to you. But anyway, patreon.com forward slash cheap show. As we always say, give what you can. But please, only if you can.

And if you can't, there are ways to help us out by reviewing us online, sharing our stuff on social media, and just supporting us for being cool. And that is all the admin. Please listen to my music radio show. The House of Pickled Sound Show. Every two weeks on Soho Radio from 2 to 4. Oh yeah, and I have the board game channel now with Stuart and Oliver.

The League of Extraordinary Board Games, every fortnight, we play a strange board game of some description. I think the next one, it is Operation that we played a few years ago here, you know, the electronic operation. With the dog? No. I keep going on about that, don't know. But not that one, it's the other one. It's the... When you're putting the dog shit out the dog.

Pulling the dogs out, it's arse that goes, like that. But it's not that one. It's the other one, you know, with the pumping, the heart pump mechanic and the... Oh, I've never played that. Yes, you have. We played it on the podcast. Remember, and it has a little heart monitor at the top It goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, and then you've got to push the heart

If it goes flatline Oh, you have to resuscitate the patient Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, one of the versions is, so we did that. Anyway, lots of things to come. Live show still on the 18th of October. Paul Putner, Realina, as our special guests. Yay! Lots of fun, planning that as I speak.

Yeah. And come along to that, we'll be selling badges and albums and all sorts afterwards. Come along, have some fun. Yay. Cheerful, Ayrful podcast festival or our website. you'll find links to it if you just look for Cheap Show on October 18th, 2025, 2pm.

Yay. Oh, what have you got? Oh, we got one minute exactly left, Mr. Silverman. One minute exactly left. Oh, look, someone's texting while I'm talking to them. I was actually looking at the countdown timer. Suss due, didn't I? Well, I think this counts as an episode of Cheap Show.

We hope that you've enjoyed this impromptu. Holy shit, we need something to go out this Friday edition. But next week... Apologies, everyone. It really is. the episode we did in Teddington on Monday chef's kiss and hopefully you'll hear it next week now

thanks to Tom from Channel 84 please thank him considerably because without it it would be a lost episode for all time I was so unhappy about that the fact that we've got anything of it and I heard your little voice message today whilst lying in bed

and I was like yes and then came all over your belly I did not come all over my belly I don't do that no we weren't feeling romantic it's not when I feel romantic oh it's all time's over it's one minute

One minute. It's all over. It's one hour. One hour. Press the button. Oh, I kind of feel bad now. I've cut you off. That's fine. Yeah? Yeah. Don't worry about me. Don't worry about... Just stop the thing.

I'm going to fucking press it. You'll end up wiping it. We'll have to do it all over again. Now you're blaming me for that. I'm just saying, Eli did it. You know,