CheapShow - Ep 458: Tat Hunt Teddington Broad Street (Stereo)

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

(Stereo Edition) Once again, it’s time for Paul and Eli to take to the high streets and venture on another Tat Hunt! This week they’ve taken themselves to Broad Street to see what they can get for £10! It’s an episode that investigates the contents of 5 charity shops to fond the treasure amongst the trash. It’s a surprisingly sunny day and the Cheap Chaps are full of excitement for the challenge is… almost. Along the way, they’ll tackle rude shop customers, unwanted flatulence and struggle to find a decent place to wrap up Part One of this random wander. It’s Part Two where the wheels begin to fall off and their best laid plans begin to crumble! Special Thanks to Tom from The Channel 84 Variety Show Podcast who saved this episode from a digital grave! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-458-tat-hunt-teddington SEE US LIVE: Oct 18th @ The Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival 2.30pm, London https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/cheapshow---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-18th-oct-2025-tickets Watch Our 450th Episode Celebration YouTube Live Stream! https://youtube.com/live/ErCEZo6V3AE?feature=share And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello, this is Paul Gannon, and guess who this is? I'm Eli Silverman, hi, everybody. And we're just here before this week's episode to say, this episode would not be possible without the massive help of Tom from Channel 84 Variety Hour podcast show. It wouldn't exist. It wouldn't exist. It would not exist.

We recorded this Tapp Hunt episode, it would have been two weeks ago now, as of you listening. And long story short, now don't say that. Card was corrupted, I thought I'd lost it, Tom found it, rescued it the whole shebang and thanks to him we now have two weeks of episodes for you to enjoy thank you Tom for rescuing the episode and it is a brilliant thing because we

did have such a lovely time a lot of fun a lot of fun in Teddington and a magic moment I think it's going to be a classic personally and Tom maybe you salvaged it you salvaged it from oblivion so say thank you to Tom if you see him on the socials as the kids say now part one this week is the tat hunt itself where we go into teddington and we look for the stuff but join us next week because boy howdy whoa does next week does next week go off the rails you fit about 18 cliches into like 30 seconds there the boy howdy thing the long story short thing well shut my head in you're not like this in real life you know that door it's only when you turn it on the fucking what a gay day shut that door the brain fart come

on anyway enjoy the episode no you enjoy the fucking episode here we go you enjoy it tat hunt part one eat it yes right fine think about it before we do this first bit so right I'm recording already we're off we're off mate off to the races already it's no good so good now hello everybody I'm in a good mood I'm feeling sunshine let's just make it positive right we're in Teddington yeah we're in Teddington today, yeah? Yeah. So it's when the cheap show boys go down to Tedding for a picnic. Are we having a picnic? I mean, we could if you wanted. It's a nice day.

Look, I think I'm going to need to warm up to this week's episode because I've been working basically three 10-hour days in a row. You know what I've been doing? Drinking. Yeah, fuck all you see. Drink it. Drink it. Drinking. No, I haven't been. Do you know what? Do you know what I am when I get tired? Angry. Really.

really violent and angry. I'm not trying to make you angry, man. I'm just trying to entertain everyone. I'm in a good mood. The sun is, it is literally a beautiful day, isn't it? If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a spring day today. It's got spring day vibes. Absolutely does.

You absolutely do D-D-D-Rite. Stop doing my word-cock-up stuff. That's my gimmick. You can't have that. It's because you're tired. You're actually taking more time, and I'm Mr. Speed up now. You know this, when I'm more hung over or ill or tired, I'm much better at stuff. shocking horrible revelation that is yeah it's weird isn't it it's to do if your neurodiversity so look

we're doing a two parts hat hunt today two episodes of the price of one recording in one day episode one this week we're out and about looking for stuff episode two next week where we evaluate and price and discuss the things we buy in part one now you may be asking yourselves why did they choose teddington no them all right they don't know we're in tetherington yet we haven't told them. I did. I did you? Yeah. Can we do it again? Because I'm playing playing. We're in Teddington. Is that okay? Is that enough of it? Do you have TV studios here, don't they? Thames, it was the home of Thames TV at one point? I think I saw Red Dwar film, do you? Tems. Was Red Dwar Thames? Well, no, because this is like the Red Dwar

when it was in the Dave era. So this, I mean... The Dave era. Yeah, you know, Dave TV. Ah, the Dave era. They made, actually commissioned something. Yeah. For the past like 10 years, they've been doing it? Is Dave still on? Yeah. Anyway Not for long They're going to take all of them off

Aren't they There's not going to be any I don't want to talk about the TV station Dave You brought it up No I just said I just said we filmed Because you said Thames TV

And I corrected you by saying it was Dave It was part of the ongoing discussion Well done for knowing that No you can't now I just decided No come on please I've got stuff to say Right

Well listener You may be asking yourself Why? Why have they gone to Teddington Now if you were a patron supporter of podcast you would have you listened to episode a night bus and that we keep her out this year because we released that one we released it for everyone did we at the end it was the night bus to Heathrow we took the London's longest bus route which used to be the X-7 the X-26 but is now in the Superloop network and is this

SL7 from West Croydon to Heathrow on that journey documented in the in the night busing episode if you don't know what night busing is it's a it's a it's a spin-off episode where we go on night buses and we talk yep yep yep yep yep right on that episode we we stop I'm just this is how I'm getting involved on that episode yeah we went through a place and Paul noted there's a load of charity shops and it looked like an absolute oasis of charity shops and Paul said remember what the next station is now the next station was Hat and Cross and it turned out when I looked it up

that the stretch of that route we were on is actually the longest gap between bus stations bus stops rather on the whole of the network Paul it's hard to put your finger on where we passed as a result now I looked up the route and I saw where Hatten Cross was

and I saw what the next stop before was and then I looked at triangulated onto what the nearest station was and it was Teddington we're standing outside Teddington station right now and it's a lovely day now there are two main sort of shopping streets here which I believe that bus went through broad street Teddington and the high street so I'm not exactly sure which one we went down but it's one of those two so there you go there I think a clue will be when we see the super loop on that route on the road exactly exactly right so so I think that's where we should we should start looking and we're

that's why we're here but we're hoping for good charity shop bounty today and there are the rules of the game which Paul will lay out now we'll do it after the in no we'll do the we'll bring the music here I don't even know anymore this is the cold open into the intro music and then after the warm it's warm intro in it work to knacket old ticket machine in a bin bag wrapped in bin bag it looks like it's going to a Halloween party and with you know in the 80s bin bag no do you remember going to a Halloween yeah last minute everyone would go as a punk because they go oh to got a bin bag you know at uni it's more of a uni thing it is it's like a half-assed so what you're saying is this out-of-use a ticket machine for cars is actually

dressing up as a 1980s fancy dress punk no yes but in brighton university maybe has sunk a few you know I don't think this is going to work for our audience that one that's an analogy too far And you know, you know what works, don't you? Take a picture of it, put it on our website, they'll decide for themselves if it was an astute observation or typical Eli mouth garbage. Although it is a beautiful day, it's not going to be great for photography, everyone. Why?

Because there's harsh light and big... Harsh light. Right, well... Got nothing. We need a coffee. I need some to eat. I need some to eat. Well, then, hello.

Should we find the high street? Let's go and do that, yeah. Right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, welcome to Cheap Show. We're on a two-part episode, part one, begins today with Tat Hunt. What, where are we in? Teddington. Teddington? Teddy.

Yeah. It's all going to be Teddy bears. They keep popping up as well in a synchronous way for me now. What, Teddy's? Yeah. Even like little negligence. The other day I sent in a picture for the next Cheap Show magazine, the event is. To avenge it.

and one of the photos I took was of... I might just cut to the music now. I might just cut to the music now. I'm going to get bored of this. Stop! You can never let me finish my point. Was other highlighter pen teddy bear gummy thing?

Great. I'm glad I let that pat out. And I'm the teddy bear's picnic? Come on. You're good at those songs, those others. Not until I've had a coffee. All right. We're going to try that later. Promise me you'll try a cheap show version of the Teddy Bears Picnic Song

you incorporating our trip to Teddington today in the lyrics please Today's the day the cheap show boys go to Teddington Thank you Fuck me Where are we though Press the fucking credit Silverman, welcome to Jeep Show.

Storces and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. Chodney Borough. I hate you. I got to be a posse. Jeep Show to mine. It's the Price of Shite. Welcome to Cheap Show.

Welcome to Cheap Show. Right, so here we are on High Street. High Street and there's Broad Street. Now, I'm going to give my regards to that for now, but we're going to take the High Street. Hello, it's Cheap Show and Paul Gannon. That's Eli Silverman. Hi, everybody.

Lovely to be here again. And we're doing Tatund part one today in Taddington or therein. The rules just so. we'll get out the way now right the rule is because we change it every now and then depending on our mood and what we want to do how many chats have we done I think this is our fourth this is off only our second two-parter though yes true maybe our third two-parter I don't know I don't listen to the podcast it's awful two part of the third two part of the fourth a third yeah I don't know either way so the rules this time is I'm going to give

Eli a tenor I'm going to get myself a tenor and basically we're going to try and find as much stuff for that tenor as possible, whether that's an album, a board game, a toy, a gadget, some, uh, trinket. So what is the guiding principle? Interesting things. Yeah. Is that it? Or the more bang for your book for a tenor. Yeah, but I mean, there might be a whole heap of tiles for like 50p. We don't have all those around. And they could technically be best value for money. What I'm saying is, we need stuff, like scary toys. All the look, you know our audience, you know the show, get what you think would be good for those. Don't go and get tiles because, oh, the remit is value for money.

Well, that's what you just said, bang for your buck. Be happy, life is too short, says that window scraping. It's graffiti on the, scraped into some kind of paint on the inside of the glass, everyone. And then in part two, we'll look at all our stuff and we'll debate which one got the best stuff for a tenor. I think it's going to be me. to live in that. Yeah, but a bed is really nice. And it's, what, three bedrooms and two bathrooms?

That's pretty good, to be fair, for the money. Yeah, because your miles away from the tube, aren't you? Yeah. You still have to spend more money to get to your station or your bus. You know, it's the whole thing. This is Poshlands, and we're infiltrating it. I think this is, well, we're going to check the bus stop, aren't we? Yeah.

To see if this is on the route. Well, there was no super loop. Oh, look at that. That's nice. Now, from the Wikipedia page, you see, it says Teddington Branch. Awesome Studio. But that was originally a Lloyd's Bank. That's why it still says Teddington Branch over it. Fair enough.

I presume you'll take a picture of that, so people who are interested can see it on Instagram or our website. It's lovely, isn't it? Yeah. But now it's currently awesome studios, which looks, I mean, it looks like a studio space, maybe for performance and dance. It does look. It's a really lovely Coppola entrance,

I think, is what they call it, a Coppola, yeah? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. You could be making this up, I wouldn't know. But I thought you were going to do a gag. Francis Ford Coppola. I haven't had been coffee yet. Oh, mate, we need to get coffee in you.

Have you had none today? Well, that's why. My mate has an escort right. So Francis Ford's Coppola. Oh, I hate this. I hate this. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. So we're going to get some money. Actually, you know what we're going to do before we do anything. We're going to get a coffee. We're going to chill. I'm going to down it.

Then I'm going to get your money out. And then I'm going to get my money out. And then we're going to start the game. Sound like a plan? Okay, great. Yeah? Yeah. And then we'll do High Street. And then we'll go the other way to Broad Street, yeah? And, yeah, I'll give my regards when I get there. I've done that. I've done that guy. You gave your regards, really?

I gave it, yeah. I can't wait another day. I'm just saying, I can't forget them with that. less of those words now. I can't wait another day because I love you. Is that no more lonely? That was no more lonely night, so I was singing. Kavan Bakery apparently been baking daily since 1929.

I've been baking. What's daily? Is that kind of cake or something? Oh God. We need coffee. Let's go get coffee. We'll see it a bit, everyone. What?

also if I say I don't like myself anymore if I say during today's recording see you in a bit or if I say right we are and then I say where we are you have to smack me on the back of the head

because I was listening to another episode where I kept on saying that and I was getting angry so every time I say see in a bit before I stop recording or if I start a recording by saying the word right or okay

I've given you permission to smack me on the back of the head okay mate we'll do but if you fucking smack me too hard then you'll smack me back No, I'm going, no, I'm going, oh, there. And then rub me tugger. Right, okay, let's get some cash out.

What's this? What? Parklet alert. Parklet alert. Rubbish taxi. Yeah, it's a van, that's why. Here's a little parklet. Yeah.

Landmark art centre where you can see John Isley, the life and times of dire straits and a Q&A of music and memories. Was he another guy in dire straits? I have no idea. Can you name Anyone?

From Dire Straits? Mark Knopfler? Yeah, well done. That's the only one I could tell you. Oh, I remember Andy Parsons? He used to be on TV. Oh, I'm on the party. Oh, I'm on the party!

That's not it. I bet he's got a podcast, huh? Oh, they've all got podcasts, mate. A little update for everyone listening along. This isn't the place that we saw on the night bus that time. No, it's not. It must be around here somewhere, but we have seen some charity shops. One was shut.

And one was only for kids. Yeah, this was all full of nappies and baby clothes and stuff. Farrah, but it would have toys, and we're allowed in. Men are allowed in. No, I know, but I just, I don't know. I'm not comfortable as our first stop being at a charity shop largely for families to buy stuff for their kids, that's all. We could pop in there and get some sweet toys for our listeners.

I'm sure all our listeners would be agreeing with me now. Why am I talking like this? I don't know. Why am I so crap this week? Do you want to have this discussion every week? because we could very easily you know what

pishing needed I went for a pish in the coffee shop oh yeah we've had a coffee we've brought out the 10 pounds we need each for our challenge we're both thinking that maybe Teddington might not be the place

to do this cheap shop but we have not checked Broad Street which is the other street which definitely has a stop that's what we're doing now Teddington Broad Street is a stop on the Super Loop 7 so so maybe we should just go

to Broad Street then I wouldn't mind sitting on one of these lovely logs There's a log here And also having a piss behind that tree Well, you should do both of those things Why? No, once so If I sit on that log

You could carry the log over And I could piss the whole way Into your mouth Like that Squeezing it How about How about I pull the foreskin back So it goes, you know

It's a hard jet Into your mouth And it hits the top roof of your mouth Like a fountain Like one of those Can't believe you're saying This aren't church property There's a church here

And you're saying vile stuff. What I want you to do, ideally, is pull out your little toadstool right, jam it, pull the foreskin back, jam it right up my nose and blast back in my nasal passage with your skanky fucking piss until I'm literally like

you can tell he's had his coffee everyone. As I'm like choking on your fucking horrible piss, that's cascading down my throat. And don't be turning this off and don't be saying anything that you don't need to be saying. if you know, catch my drift.

How about this? To prove that I'm a gentleman and I won't record you peeing, I'll let you press stop on the recorder and then you can crack on, all right? Okay. So with that being said, I am now going to allow Eli to turn this off

and we will come back to you after this short break. That one? Yeah, that one. No, no, not that one. The little black square with the square on. Yeah, I am going to record him because fuck you.

Now I'm just going to be super, quiet. Can you shut off. Can you stop? He is having a piss by a treat. I don't know if you heard that but it was funny but only for my perspective. right we're on the bus and we're getting off the bus now we're on the what is this bus called r68 yeah r68 but we're now heading to our broad street where already we've seen in oxfam so already we're excited about what to expect here as we get off

right here we are we're off we're off uh yes right so we're on broad street and it looks much more promising doesn't it it looks like the high street is the sort of posh end and uh broad streets for the people do you know what i'm saying the more there's a boots there looks like there's chains down here there's a boots yeah uh cafe nero super drug and we're outside the ubiquitous Gales, who are, I would say, the most expensive of the coffee shop chains in London. I'll have a coffee and a small bat, please. Why? That's only £42 and 76, please. Why? I'll pay it for I have a big job in the city. And look... Oh, there's the Superloop stops. We're right. We're right. Yeah. So this must be... Where we came by on that. This must be the exciting High Street that excited our...

Wet our whistle all those years ago. Those two years ago. Yeah. No, it was a long time ago. Fuck me, I hate time. I genuinely hate the passing of time. But imagine if there was no time, then nothing would ever happen. And you couldn't even finish your first ever thought or even started.

I wouldn't exist to thought. I wouldn't exist to have a thought, would I? So you love time? You depend on time, don't you? No, no, I'm saying. You utterly depend on time. You hate the way that time passes. Yeah, that's what I said.

That's like saying I hate time. No. Because time is fine. Time is fine. I'm fine with time, but time passing is what really grind my gears. All right? All right. I don't like going, oh, there's a whole year.

It has to pass for it to exist, though. There's no time without it passing, is there? All right, let me just put it this way. You have to shit, right? Humans have to shit. Sometimes you have a bad shit you'd wish you hadn't had or regret. But that's not like... You can't regret a shit.

Of course you can. But what I'm saying is you don't hate the whole concept of shitting just because you had a bad one. You can regret the moment you took the shit, but taking the shit is never a regret. I know, so I'm not complaining about this concept of time. I'm talking about how high sometimes. Feel old. Feel like an old fuck.

And feel like time is like racing away. And I can't grab it long enough to hold onto it and just live in the moment. Well, let's try to do a bit of that today here in Teddington Broad Street, whilst we go on a little tat hunt for everyone to hear. What are you hoping to pick up today, Paul? Alright, well I've got a tenor in my pocket I've got a tenor too And I think the plan is I'm going to look for

A quantity over quality I think As many items as possible I'm going to try to unless something wows me Of course We'll have a little informal Oh there's the SL7 There it is

Yeah We were up there A lamenta Um Paul You know where we could Record Part 2

In the chapel at Heathrow Yeah let's do that We couldn't do that. Yeah, because you could get home easy from there as well. Yeah, and you could as well, theoretically. Yeah, I'm up for it. 100% up for it. Great idea.

Now. Yeah. Go on. Just parked up next to us the SL 7. It's going to be its last stop for fucking miles by the sounds of things. Well, that is, that, from this to the next stop. Yeah. Is that, I don't think we even stopped here, though, because it was the middle of the night, wasn't it? It went right past it.

It went right past this stop, I'm sure. But all I'm saying is we'll have an informal competition who can get the most amount of out of things now we need to figure out how to break this up are we gonna you go one way I go the other I'll tell you what then how about this I'm gonna start on the other side of the road yeah walk up and then you start on this side of the world we'll meet to the top yeah catch up walk back the other way to here and then uh fantastic I'll see I don't know okay so I'll meet you back I'll meet you back here what we'll meet at the top of the road yeah at about what give it 45

minutes I think yeah half an hour half an hour at two at three Yeah, half an hour. All right, see you then. See you in a bit. All right, see you then. Oh, shit. I wish I hadn't said that now. I've got a ring on as well.

Don't smack me with your ring finger, please, Daddy. Don't say it. Don't say it. We will be along later. Press the button. I should stop saying that. You got to stop say that. So smack me.

Ah, oh. It's got to get kinky. right well it's been about half an hour 40 minutes and i've reached the end of my side of the road taking a sit down on this little park bench at the end of the teddington methodist church community center area there's a bus going there number 33 to castle now never heard of that place lonsdale row castle now Assall now. Anyway, Eli Silverman, my co-host and friend. What? I know. I just said, I was literally just saying that. I said, I've never heard of the place Castle Now. Have you ever heard of that? Yeah, it's just up the road from Castle Past and then. Castle Future, yeah, got it. All right, sweet. No, no, no, no, nice. Do you like that? Castle Past, Castle Now, Castle then. Anyway, Paul, you were very much on the more charity shop-rich side of the Broad Street, weren't you?

Really? How many did you have? Yeah, there's four on this side, I think. You've got a big, notice, there's a big BHF. Yeah. Yeah. Any items? Oh. And I've done well here.

I've done well here. Now, I'll tell you what, I'll be honest, I panicked. Because when I first looked at the road, I thought, shit, there's like one charity shop on this side of the road. I'll take me precious time in this one shop and they got a few things and then I walked up a little bit it was like oh there's another oh there's another

now two things happened to me can I tell you these stories before I get on one is I'm in the first place and there's a little old lady sitting next to me they're not sitting next to me standing next to me right well she'd have to be to fart because that's what's going to happen that's what's going to happen oh my god

no for real for real seats well she was standing there elderly fart whisper looking at like socks or whatever was hanging on the wall in the first charity shop and then I heard this kind of like a kind of quack like bra-blum-blum-blum-bob

and then it smelled like a roast dinner right and then the woman who ran came to the shop who was on the shop walked past when tap me on the shoulder

and she went take that outside dear blit and blame it on me no why does this never happen weird and I said that wasn't me it was the little

and she was gone the old little lady by that point shuffled on He was gone. Yeah. Anyway, the second thing. Okay. I'm going to accept that because I believe you generally.

But the fart, the way you described it, sounds like one of yours. No. And it was a deep wet one, like muffled by a nappy kind of sound. You know, like there's like seven inches of ten a ladies between the arseal and like it reaching my nose. You know? Oh, that's quite disgusting. Second thing is, I'm in the B8, the British Heartfield. foundation right and looking around and there's a guy mid 50s maybe quite well to do he picks up a

hoodie a jacket and I think it was like 15 quid right and the one behind the count was very old and he just throws it on the counter and goes I'll have this for 10 love and she went oh no we don't we can't change the prices and he went of course you can come on come on it's only worth 10 this and I haven't got time to mess around so just give me just get here's a 10 her throws it down she's like no I've got to call the manager. He goes, no, you know, no, you don't. And he put the phone down as she was holding it. What? And that piece of shit? Right. And then he started getting Huffety. A fucking chauvinness.

And then I said, and this is where Gannon's... No, this is where Gannon's rage came up. And I was like, mate, it's a charity shop. Whatever it is you're buying, it's going to be much cheaper than what it is. So just spend the 15 quid and he was like, mate, obviously you don't know about business, you don't know

about haggling, you don't know. Anyway, so anyway, she just... Don't find him? No, no. Because I want to hear him. So anyway, what happened was, he ended up He ended up spending a tenor, right? And he left. And I went to the lady, here, I is a fiver. And I gave her a fiver. And I would just put it in your tin.

He literally insisted on only paying the tenor. Yeah. And then he wasn't taking it over from the... No, and he basically put the tenor down, and he was basically halfway out the shop with the jumper at that point. He just took it? Yeah, he basically... That's theft.

Well, no. That is theft. He was doing this. You're going to take it. You're going to take it. Wow. So then I just walked up and went, here. There's a fiver.

Well, that's good of you, Paul. But fucking hell. I know, I was so, like, you know me, sometimes I can't bottle that rage and it comes out in an inappropriate moment, but I thought, you know what, no, I'm not doing. That was very nice of you, very nice of you, but I don't, I hate to say it, but it kind of reinforces something we've talked about as a sort of cliche on this show before, which is the richer you are, the fucking meaner you are. Oh, yeah, and the less generous.

That's actually a fact, yeah. He did this test years ago where it was like a bowl of sweets. And when they told poorer people, obviously I'm highly reducing this down to the basic points. But poorer people who came in would take one or two sweets, right, and lead the rest. Well, rich people would just take a handful without even thinking, and then come back for another handful. But just the line that stands out to me, you obviously don't know about business. God, it makes me want to puke. This isn't business.

It's charity for one thing. And you're not... Wrists, what they call? Necklaces for the wrist, what they called? bracelets. He had a bracelet on. Neckles for the wrist. You know what I'm getting on?

I got bracelets on. Yeah. So am I bastard. Yeah, but his were like thick gold. Yeah. And like, yeah, the thick gold one round and then he had like a fucking earpiece in. I just, I just, the whole attitude, it stinks, man.

You know? He followed me into the shop I waiting to next. I thought I'm getting out of here before I kick off. Whanker. Anyway, so that was my... Anyway, long story short, I got a few items. I overspent in one shop thinking I had nothing else to investigate. Oh, right.

But saying that, You've spent your whole tenor, I've done really well considering. I've only spent about half my tenor. That's all right. So far, I've got about three items, I think. Only three. I think I've got like five. Have you let them know that there was a box of three quinces?

Are we not mentioned the quints? I don't think we have. Let's go back. Go on, mention the quints. Just emblematic of how posh it is around here down Teddington. There was a box of quinces on someone's garden wall with a little notice. Now, what's a quince? For those of us who aren't in the lower...

Those of us in the lower classes to understand. Okay, a quince is a type of pear. And it's used to make quince jelly, which is eaten with cheese, especially in Spain. So Manchego goes with the quince jelly. They often serve it with those manchego. It's also known for doing autopsies on people in the 70s in L.A., isn't it? Oh, quince.

Quincy. I knew you're going to have to try something but there it is it's a good looking smell it can you have them raw yeah they're pairs I just didn't know for those cooked fruit things

I'd want to get it under a tat before I took a bite but maybe I'll taste that in episode two of this tat hunt everybody now little information Teddington is where we are this is on the Thames

and one of the Teddy on the Thames one of the theories about how the name came about is that this is the last point on the Thames where it's tidal. What does that mean?

Past this point it's not tidal anymore. You know the Thames has high tide and low tide? Yeah. Because there's a lock here. And that moderates the level of order. It's the tide end. Taddington. Tideendington. It's a stretch, but I don't have the back.

ground to qualify that anyway. But there are also other competing theories, such as Ted just, The House of Ted. Yeah, no, House of Teddy. And also, there's a theory that says that there is a huge fan base for children's TV shows. And so it started off as being Super Teddington. Teddington, Super Teddington. Do you want me to cut that last one out?

Because you're doing all right. Let me just say a clean Super Teddington. And they... You know, I'm not going to edit. it so it's clean. Can I just prove to everyone I can say Super Teddington? Super Teddington. Whereas I know for a fact it's named after a character of Heidi

High. Ted Bovers played by Paul Shane. So it used to be called... No, used to be called Heidi Heiditon. Here's the thing. I haven't mentioned, or we haven't mentioned really, why we're doing two episodes in one go today, because you're not going to be available next week, are you? You're working on something. I am appearing in... Stuart's film.

Turn back. Now... A lot of people be aware of because it was uh we used barshans which both of us appeared in yeah they used that to help raise funds and i believe it although it is still a what is class as an ultra low budget micro budget it's ultra low budget is the actual terminology uh feature it was the record-breaking crowd funder for an independent british horror yeah so i'll be shooting that over the next two weeks um now we can't tell you spoilers or what happens in it but i can't tell you spoilers or what happens in it but i can't tell you that Eli is playing Tramp 3 in this particular story.

Is this some way of having a go at me or something? Because I'm only good to play a tramp. Tramps are good characters, man. Good for character actors, you know? It's like that one actor in America who always plays a vagrants. Remember, he's the vagrant on the benching back to the future. He's the vagrant in Vague, who ends up getting in with the aliens and things like that. Go stalled it!

Whatever. I'm loving the smell of this quince, actually. It's got a lovely, fresh, fruity hair. Smell it? Yeah, no, it smells. It smells. It's like appily, almost. You know what it is? I think, yes, it is apply.

Do you know what it is? I think I'm coming out of a bout of COVID, and it affected my... Nasals. It affected my sense of smell and taste. Definitely did. I felt like everything was duller. Yeah.

You know? It's horrible. Horrible. So, with all that being said, I think it's time to swap sides and I'm going to go down. And we'll do the same thing again, 30, 40 minutes, right?

At the other end, where we started yeah yeah okay and then I'm thinking maybe we jump on the SL 7 and go to Heathrow that's what we're doing we're going to do it I mean we're riffing we're riffing we should have some kind of break at a park well we mean this is I might need to grab a bite after this yeah no I agree I think we should before we get on a bus to Heathrow let's little investigate find something to eat la la la we can get on the super loop man that is going to be super cool super cool and we're the cool kids taking you so So I'll meet you...

Should we say 40 minutes from now, yeah? Yeah, where are we now? Let's have a look. 10 past? It is quarter past. So let's just say just around 10 to. Okay. Right.

So are you... I tell you what, I did see a couple of things in there that I thought, oh, Eli might like that. Right. But, you know... Oh, there was a board game? True or false? There's loads of board games.

I saw loads of them in there. And there's only one item. that i wish i hadn't got but it was too expensive it was taskmaster i've got that you've got i've got the taskmaster board game i'm saving that for another episode later on down the line because it's one of those games where you can need to be at home to play because it says run to your kitchen and grab a sausage and whatever it's one of those tasks yeah but it is one of those episodes i'm thinking of doing for maybe a future uh tv show board game game show special episode well that's why i mentioned it to you because i know you have a particular interest

Yeah. We should do a Richard Osmond special where we just do all the most borderline, boring, middle-the-road, safest fucking middle-class comedy that isn't here to offend and there's just lovely, gentle, theft of other people's more original edgy thoughts. God, I hate you in your fucking Thursday murder club, bollocks, with your fucking cunt, fucking goggle-eye, big-eared, fucking ogreish cunt. He's a massive person. Literally.

And I mean, you know, I think he's single-handedly why the UK comedy scene in this country is fucking dogs bollets. The UK comedy scene in this country? Specifically in this country. Oh, you mean England? Yes. Right. Right, so I'll see you, Jimmy. See you, Jimmy.

See you in about 40 minutes. Here we go. Right, off we go. Right, well, I've just bumped into Eli coming out of the Teddington Hardware Pound store kind of thing, whatever it was. That's right. I picked up some interesting non-charity shop items. Well, that's a loud bus, huh? That's a loud bus. So, I'm all done.

Oh, it's quiet around here. Yeah, there's only two charity shops on that side of the road. You're right. I thought there was more. Yes. But any interesting finds? Yes. Good.

I found some interesting things, I think. I went into one place, and I slapped this item down. And I went, I'll give you a five or four. I have to speak to the manager. I went, you don't fucking know. I'm back in the way. This is the way he's moving out. You don't know about business, love.

You don't know about business, love. And literally, the worst as well, it's when he puts his hand on the receiver. she's trying to call the manager. That was awful. That was fucking awful. Anyway, what do you think was your favourite charity shop today?

Oh, I like the shooting star one because there was something in there that I found which was like, oh yeah, that's weirdly unique. I like shooting stars as well. I found something in there. That had the sort of the best curation, I think.

Oxfam always suffers from having too much, you know, fair trade chocolate and, you know, all of that stuff. And frankly, just brand new stuff. Yeah. Although, did you notice the Mike Bat album in there? I did.

Yeah. And did you notice... It said Merton, right? Because he must be from Merton, which is sort of not that far from here. It's down around here. I was tempted to get it, and then I saw the price and went,

excuse me how much. It was like six quid, $5.99. And then there was another album I was going to get called The Exotic Adventures of Eskimo Nell. And it's kind of an infamous British erotic comedy kind of thing. But that album looked genuinely interesting,

but it was like 12 quill. I think it was 10, 12 quid. I've got a couple of things for myself. So, well, I'll discuss those as well. Yeah, that's fine. In episode two. Which we're heading into soon. So, I'll just overall, I'll say, the funk isn't high here.

No. But you get things that are good quality because of the, obviously, the wealth at reasonable prices. And don't you? It wasn't too expensive here. I was expecting to have more of a turmoil in going, oh, do I get that, or do I get that? what I mean and actually it turned out I got quite a lot bang for my book I did as well that's all right yeah it really focuses the mind though having the ten are limit you know yeah because you don't want to blow it all on one thing no do you so uh what are we do

now then oh we need another coffee mate we do need another coffee where should we go I'm loath to say gales no because I haven't got 40 quid to spend on two booking macchiato's Any more incidents? No, although when I was in Oxfam, there was a woman who wouldn't get out of my way, but not in a way where it was just kind of awkward. It was like, I'd be looking at a book, and then she would stand right in front of me

to look at the exact same book, and I'd say, excuse me, and she'd go, oh! And then move out of the way. And then happened twice more. And then there was one woman who nearly caused an accent on the road because one of the things that really grinds my gears

as a human being, Mr. Silverman, is when there's a crossing, right? A crossing with lights and a beaker, not beaker, a beacon, and it goes, beep, beep, and you know how to cross. But this one woman, less two metres away from it, decided to go, I'm just going to cross the road here instead,

right in the front of a bus, which slammed on its brakes, which had to swerve a little bit, to nearly hit a car going to the direction, and she just went, oh, oh, what have I done? And they just kept on walking. People never learn. anyhow

I just get angry about people who cross the road when there's a crossing right there and you can't walk another metre to get it you're that impatient really

exceptional weather today I know that's boring for everyone but it is nice it's incredible it's like it must be in the early 20s

I mean 22 23 has you got that high I don't know if it tells me on my watch no doesn't tell me on my watch

but I'm sure phones would but I can't even check that can I because it tells me in fucking Fahrenheit or Celsius, whatever it is that one I'm not meant to have.

Why did I just see an advert for a Netflix show, Victoria Becken? Who do I think I am? Because they're still rinsing that. You're nobody at all. You're just a Beverly Hills housework. Do you know what I mean? You were literally no one until you did. I mean, like, out of all the

Spice Girls, I think she put the least effort into being part of them. Just the grift of celebrity in this era is just... When you're not good at doing anything, all your brand is. is your name, and her name is built on 90s nostalgia and being married to a much more successful and popular football player who calls her out on her bullshit more than I expected.

Yeah, that was fun. Anyway, just for I mentioned that. What are we going to do now? Have we done enough for this episode, do you think? I don't know. These episodes end up being short, but there are two parts, so get with it. I would just want it to say, I've had a really lovely time today here in Teddingham, Teddingham, Teddington. Teddingham. Teddingham. I've had fun in teddy ham. I'll have some teddy ham.

Gets a bit off the rump. A little bit off the nose. Teddy ham. Bear hand. We eat bears. Snuff or gristle. Fry a bit of nose. I just wanted to say,

thank you for listening, making this possible. Yeah, but we don't know how long this episode is now. I know, but I just wanted at this point in the episode, wherever it is, say, well, thank you so much to the listeners. Yeah, to everyone. For making this possible by listening,

and especially our Patreon. Who also do a sterling job and giving us an excuse every week to carry on living. So, Patron.com, there it is. Come on. Come on. For you, maybe. We'd be dead years ago. No, I don't think.

I'd be dead years ago without chiefs. I'm trying very hard not to die, okay? You're not doing that good a job, considering your diet, your health regime, your addiction to alcohol and drugs. I'm not going to rise to it this week. Your feverish gambling addiction. I'm not going to rise to it this week. Your need for cracker cocaine.

Crack of cocaine. When in doubt, just go straight to accusing me of being a crack. When in doubt, call him out. There are some crackheads around here. Oh, yeah, I've noticed. Did you see the one on the bus? The guy had what can only be described. I'm not trying to be classist here as prison tattoos all over his face.

He had one on his... Wasn't he? They both got on the bus without paying. They went, thanks, love, thanks, go, thanks. I think quite rightly she was like, I'm not going to deal with those two. So just get on and then get the fuck off. But he had a tattoo on his neck that says,

I'm too freaky. right, except it was spelt wrong. It was called I'm too frecky. Perhaps he was a freckly man at some point. I mean, that's all I can guess. But either way, it didn't say freaky, which is, I think, his intention. There's TG Jones.

Oh, God, it sucks so badly. It does, doesn't that? You know when you talk about insuffication? That is like one of the flag waivers for that. It is a form of inshittification. I think the term... Where are we going, that? Look at this.

This, uh, brute. I just want to mention, for the fans of late modernist architecture. It's very good round here for what I'd like to term suburban vernacular brick brutalism. Like that. Look at this one in the corner. The curtain, all the window. Guardians in residence.

Oh, is it abandoned? Well, yeah, I presume so. They've got people living in there with security and their cheap rent. The brickwork. And that little by church road, private, that's a nice little area, isn't it? Well, often I find with modernist churches,

like what that obviously is, is the housing blocks that they build next to them they've done it with churches for hundreds of years where the rector lives or whatever they often build them in the similar style or complementary in some way but these are more like houses you give to nurses by a hotel hotel hospital

yes or an old person's home that has that vibe that's on church road church road why is it always churches have slimming world meetings there because everyone's a fucking godless atheist these days, aren't they?

It's the only way you can get them into church is to say, come on, fatty, come in here. Maybe you'll not only lose weight, but lose your atheism. You know, why you're fat? Because God hates you. T.G. Jones, I'll go back for that. That's not the same font, even.

It's an inshittified font. Do you know what I mean? It's got no, it's Sansaree for whatever. Because there's no TG Jones. There's no Terrace Gerald Jones in existence. You know what I mean? It's bullshit, and I hate it. I hate it more than you.

I hated W.H. Smith, though, to be frank, as well. Well, these days, yeah, but back in the day, it used to be a great little place to get books and toys. With the orange logo, yeah, when it was like that. Oh, yeah, the orange cube logo. Yeah, yeah. It was like WR1 side, H on the other, and then S on the top. It's in the shittification, although that term, like I was going to say,

was invented for specifically web platforms, you know, websites. I think they use churches to swimming worlds because when you get on the scale, someone goes, Jesus Christ! And then when you lose the weight, they go, Jesus Christ you've lost Wade Holy shit Alright pastor

Ah Fuck it So what do you want to do Should we get a bus And head to Heathrow That's what we're going to do right Do you want to go to a park first Well there's a bushy park up the road

There's a bushy park up the road Yeah should we go to Bushy Park We could go to Tesco Get a Tesco meal deal Jump on a bus a few stops Go Bushy Park And then finish this episode Yeah unless you want to go to Heathrow

And end the episode there I want to end it there. Well, you know what the problem is? We're not ending. We've got on a whole other episode. No, that's what I'm saying. It's where the delineation between the two episodes are going to go. We get some food, go to Bushy Park, end this episode.

Don't do the reveal. Just eat a sandwich and on a bench. But we have to come back here, though, to get the bus to, well, to get the super loop. Let me just have a look if there's a nearer place. This might not, this might be the last bus stop before. It is. Exactly. No, there's one more, hat and cross, and then it's heat throw after that.

Then we'd have to get. There's two, I think, two more stops. Yeah. Let me just see what this local area is saying. Well, the nearest park is bushy if we carry on going up the road. That's fucking huge. Look at that. Christ.

Is that bushy park? Yeah. That's Hampton Hill. Yeah. Look at that. That's on a meander of the Thames. That's what I heard. That's what I heard as well.

That's the rumour. Oh, look. I've got a little fox logo on my... That's nice, isn't it? Is that how you see yourself as a little fox? An urban fox. Yeah. Shagging in bushes out loud.

I wish I was shagging sometimes. Don't take that out. They do, isn't it? They do it, around my way. There was obviously that comic pop hit, wasn't there? That's what the fox says or whatever. Did you see that Flexi they had in one of the charity shops, which was, we covered it before.

The oink came from the oink hal. Oh, they had that? Yeah. But it was folded right across half of it. Not worth it. If it was in nice con, it was worth picking up. No. So I just don't know what to do now.

Let's go Tesco's and get a sandwich meal deal, right? And they maybe get a bus to a bus. And then just get on the bus and then do the next episode. We don't have to go to the park, do we? I don't know. We don't know. I mean, what I'm saying is it's an incandescently beautiful, clear day. Why don't we? Yeah.

Like, I keep saying. I don't know why you're finding this so difficult. I'm not finding anything difficult. All right, good. All right, I just want to hear what you want to say now. Get some food. Nom, nom, nom. Go to the park.

Yeah. eat the food finish this episode then get on a bus and make our way to Heathrow to the chapel we'll reveal our bits and boob booty yeah and then we'll fuck off or something

is that okay it sounds like a plan to me here we go all right then in that case that's what we're going to do let's go to Tesco oh I've got a message from there film people producer fired

it replaced you with a a fox dear Eli we've decided you can't be in our film no more because of your hong because of your ghastly honk no you're stanched yeah

you're putting people off the film it's a stench clause I always do it you've got a stench claws in no matter how bad I smell I'm turning up on set and you're filming me there's a lot of people

high up in showbiz who stink and no one can do anything about it I'm looking at you Bill Oddy Bill Oddy's got a smelly body. Bill Odie, smelly body. Oh no, that's all fine.

There's a revised contract for me to sign, so. You're not going to be unavailable for our live show. I'm not. So you can rest easy, Mr. Gannon. I've rested easy. You're the one having a hissy fit. Oh no, I can't do nothing. They're going to go in.

Calm down. Let Gannon daddy take you by the hand and sort it out, which is what I did. I'm not your handler. Can you press? I'm... Are you going to, this is your, I was nearly going to slap you then for saying the rest of the button. Well, we've got to sign off. Right, see you in a bit.

Ow! I did it on purpose because it's a kink. It's a kink I've got. Right, well, we have wandered into Bushy Park. About a five, ten minute walk away from Broad Street, Twickenham. and we just found the log to sit on Eli's got something to say Eli's got something to say

bushy park more like grassy park yeah not a lot of bushes for a place called bushy park it's quite open plan for one of a better phrase yeah yeah so we're going to wrap this episode up here I think yeah

what did you get in your meal deal I got a chicken Caesar sandwich a lot a chicken Caesar wrap sorry a chicken Caesar wrap sorry because I got a chicken bacon chicken Caesar as part of the primo i got a primo it's five pound 50 what's yours four three three four 25 yeah they're not

what they used to be are they no but then you get there quite late the day you haven't got the variety that you want you know there's more available to you when you get there early but we got the end of the day so you know what you expect yeah that's true but it was a big tesco in a big big modernist building and quite a good range because it had that big tesco vibe Paul, so you've got a chicken chicken Caesar wrap and what was your snack

that was your main Those are what is it fucking I'll get it out Don't we need to see the things I bought for next episode The Frigraders meat free Slow Roasted Tasty Bites generic meat flavour thing I don't know I don't really want them now I feel quite sick I'll taste those

You can have them honestly I got the actual chicken foam once These are the Fridreder chicken foam fake nugget foamy chicken rubber chicken right have a smell of this oh we're doing that are we yeah oh no what stinks that oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that's not a good stink that's not what i smell that i'm going what is this oh man oh what is that smells like wet mcdonalds it's not a good smell is it because i just had the meat version of those oh the clammy that's for the ground to eat right i'll have this one it's all right i'll have this one it's all right

is it i mean it's smoky tofu basically god oh no that's the first spitty out i've seen from eli ever that is bad man yeah that's tofu would be better that's having just eating the meat version of the exact same product they are miles apart god that's horrid yeah well i won't be eating the rest of them then i'll put them in a bin when appropriate yeah you didn't do well on the snack you should have got some crisps mate i didn't you know what i honestly just didn't want the snack i just wanted the sandwich the wrap and the drink and the drink and so what drink did you go for oh latte latte latte iced latte keep it simple what did you get them well you can't get a hot latte in the fridge there can you not in the fridge but you can get a hot latte there they have a cost

machine so you could. You can't get it on the meal deal though. Yeah, you can. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, certainly insane, but you can. I didn't check today when I was in Tesco's, but yeah. Anyway, what did you get? This is the wrap up now, by the way. We're closing this the part of the day off. And the next part, next week is when we're heading off to Heatho to do the

evaluation of the thing we bought the way. Frid graders, real check and breast, southern chicken styles. Just smell the empty bag. Just for a contrast. How am I appetising that smells compared to the last one? I mean, it's still smells fake oh that's much nicer it's nicer by comparison it's got it's got a spice sweetness umami on

the nose that smells like shit shame on you fridge raiders for passing that off only someone with no sense you were like yeah desperate vegetarians god it's awful it tastes a pooh it didn't just taste of nothing it tastes a pup can i can i show you something And what drink did I get? Oh, what did you get? Oh, you haven't told you my main either. Chicken, bacon, posh. Chicken bacon, posh.

Yeah. Oh, you did. Chicken Caesar and bacon on sourdough. I hate that bread. I've had it before. I do not like that bread. It tastes weird. Their particular chabata?

Oh, God. It's like fluffy, crumbly muck bread. Very technical. Don't look in my bag. Don't be looking in the bag. I'm not because I'm also praying. What did you get for your drink, Eli? Pink lemonade, zero sugar, energy,

Lucasaid uplift uplift let's have a taste of this yeah have a taste of that I try that yeah if that's all right with you oh because you know I like Lucasade I like pink lemonade I like I wonder what it'll be like with zero sugar though that's the question I have right he's having a slippy serp oh that's very good if you asked me look it's it really has a the Aspartame is there if you're looking but it's not yeah I'm gonna agree with you yes that is there it's in there I'm not complaining, but it's softened by the kind of florally pink lemonadey part of it. And it has a nice citrus...

It's all right. Yeah, they're getting better, I'm telling you. Sugar-free things are getting better, I'm telling you. You've got to admit, it's getting better. It's getting better all the time. Can I show you something that I'm quite excited to open? I have to admit. Can I show you something I'm really excited to open?

That's why he admits to being a wife beater in that song, John Lennam. I used to get mad with my woman. I beat her and kept her apart from the things But now it's a song So you could all calm down I don't, you know what I mean? No, he was an asshole

But yeah I think he was an asshole Until his dying day, frankly It was a musical genius Yeah, well you know Genius is fine You can get away of it If you write some good songs

Apparently, if you can beat people up Can I show you something? Is this something you got In the post? No, I'm going to get it now Because the next episode's the next episode So this, I think I talked about this before But a few years ago

There was a company that did these limited edition Ghostbusters badges. Fuck it all. And there was one in particular I was trying to get hold of. The black and bronze Ghostbusters logo. It looked beautiful. However, couldn't get it on eBay. The guy who was selling it was selling it for like $90 or something.

And then there was a prick about it when I tried to ask more about it. And he just blocked me. So, fuck that guy. Private eBay seller. Why? Because what did you ask? About the condition? What did you ask?

The condition? And could he, because his description said the logo, but the pictures showed Ectdo 1. and I was like, which one is it you're selling? And he was weirdly vague and a prick about it. Anyway, someone pointed me out to a Japanese auction site where they had... Slipery Slope. No, no. Legitimate place.

No, they are often legit. I'm not saying that. It's a slippery slope because you get addicted to... But a techmone. He's always on them, you know what I mean? How many watchwords have you got on Japanese auction sites? I don't have any, because you can use Sendico, can't you, to get bulk orders from there?

Like, people say it's a bad idea. now that the West are getting into it because it means that they're kind of stealing retro gadgets from people in Japan who might... I don't know, it's a whole thing about second-hand goods. Anyway, that website, this Japanese website, had this badge. And I was like, can anyone help me understand

how to get this pin badge, please? And someone on Blue Sky, an amazing person in Glasgow called Simbad, that's what they're... I think it's that moniker. You know what, let me double check. What, Monica Sinbad? Monica Sinbad, yeah, well done.

Ms. Monica Sinbad? Yeah, that's their name, Miss Monica Simbad. Let me... Yeah, Simbad. Don't say it five times, he'll appear here. But it's because the real name is Domoagato, Domorari Gato, which is like... That's just saying hello, isn't it?

Yeah, that's what the name is on Blue Scars. Anyway, they went out of their way to... Because they had an account with a Japanese auctioning thing to get it for me, get it sent over, and post it to me. Because they're a cheap show listener. Yeah, so can I just say a huge, huge, huge thank you to you from the bottom of my heart for this.

So let me see what if it's in here because I've been waiting for this for a while. Well, you haven't actually looked yet. Right, this is the whole... Leave a review. Yeah, because that's what you get from the auction. It's like an Etsy kind of thing, isn't it? Right, here we go.

Oh no! It's different badgers. It's not those ones. I don't know what these are. Oh, the Ouija board pins. Oh, oh, I thought they were the pins from... Oh, you're not going to pay now, are you? I mean, I am still going to pay, Simbad, thank you.

I mean... Why did they pick these up? No, this is something I ordered. I just forgot I'd ordered it because it was months ago. So you're still going to get the Ghost Bud to stay? Yeah, it should come today, but I thought this was it. You've got two of these? Yeah, one's for a pseudo.

Oh, yeah, because they're into that kind of thing, aren't they? These are quite nice. These are... Spoilers, pseudo, I've got you a pin badge. Rectangular Ouija board pins that have... Yeah. That have... They literally are...

working mini Ouija boards essentially because they've got a planchette on a in a groove that goes back and forth with the alphabet and the numbers below so it's like a little mini Ouija board pin a nice thing a nice thing I like it and that goes back and forth so someone could you could do an impromptu uh like when you're out the disco or whatever I was very excited I thought I was going to end this episode with me Ghostbusters badge and don't worry I mean I'm fine with these I all of these I just forgot because it was so long ago that when I heard that they were coming today I thought oh they're coming You could have checked.

Could have, but I wanted the surprise. Yeah, well, the badge is still coming. I've got badge blue balls now. You certainly do. Now, what we do is, let's just wrap this up now. Look, I'm wearing our new pin badge today. Available at our live show, October 18th tickets still available. Paul Putner, really, and are joining us for a 10-year-old celebration of our podcast

as part of the cheerful, earful podcast festival. You can go to our website, the cheapshow.com. If you want to get tickets, there's a link there. Or go to the cheerful earful podcast festival website and look for Cheap Show and get your tickets. I think it's like 12 quid, whatever. Job done. Lovely job. Can we wrap this up now? Because we've still got an episode left, and I just want to chill for a bit.

Can we do that? I'm not pushing this forward. I do want to say goodbye. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you. Bye. Even though this wasn't the badge, I wanted. Oh, boo-hoo.

It's a badge I needed. You're badge rich. Your badge privilege. I still want to say thank you to Simbad for this. You've got enough badges. How about that? I've got plenty badge. I've plenty badged up.

Right. Anyway, Simbad, thank you again. Tom would say too much, bloody badges. Please, other than that, other than that, we'll see you next week. It does sound dodge, actually, when I say it out loud. We'll see you all next week for part two of towns, where we'll evaluate our booty. Teddington, Teddington to Ham. Teddington to Heathrow.

That's what we're doing. It's Teddington, isn't it? Teddington. Love it, love it around here. I wish I could afford to live around there. I wish I could afford to live slightly better than where I am right now in general. I keep beeping, sorry. He's beeped and beeping.

We're all beeping. and we'll speak to you. We'll see you all next week. Take care. Bye bye. Oh, and thank you to Patreon.com. For all your sport. Thank you very much.

It's all very nice. I've got to get this in before the music comes up. Oh, the music's coming in. It's getting louder. Oh, quick. It's coming in. Oh, no. Bye, everyone.

It's not going to happen, is it? It's got a whiff of dog shit so bad from the dog shit bin. I thought you'd fart it. It had that fresh urgency. You know what I mean? I think that was just, you know, like just lane. There must have been hot, steaming just lane eggs right below my nose in there. Fresh out of the baker's oven.

You got famous overnight. Oh, here we know, this isn't about me. And no, I wouldn't. Fucking John Bluchio over there. He was dead at 31. Yeah, well, you've done. Right there. Well, done you.

Well, how could I be anything like him then? Yeah, he got famous, though. If you got famous at 31. Oh, maybe, Christ, there you go. So, you know. Oh, can we give it a minute case big dog bite me? I don't want to get caught between rotting dogs.

It looked like those X-L bullies. Oh. Oh. We're getting fucking fuck to death by a dog. Alright, here we go. We're on the, was it two-five? 285. 285.

That's where we're going. We're going to Heathrow Airport Central. But this is a brand new episode of Dusk bussing. Nice. Where we go on a busk at dusk. You can't fuck about with time. Not like that. Time has been the first.

theme, hasn't it today? Anyway. And shitting. It's always shit. Which is just spoiler warning. That's how I'm capping off my day.