CheapShow - Ep 464: Quaffle

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

Hey everyone! You’ll all be using the word “Quaffle” soon. All the cool kids will be spouting “Quaffle”, we guarantee it! What does it mean? Does it matter? The fact is that Paul has come up with it and he’s desperately trying to make it stick. In fact, it’s all Paul can do with week, as Eli has been promised he can talk about sauces again. In an all new Sauce Report, Mr Silverman brings along a few new discoveries that have tickled his taste buds. Oh, how exciting! Thankfully, the PO Box received a new little package packed with a whole host of oddities and curios. And Hey, you may even learn something about the UK’s first ever trivia board game and its fascinating origin! Get your Quaffle on, it’s CheapShow time! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-464-quaffle www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Oh, do you know what they call me? Oh, what do they call you? Jerry Hattrick. Oh, Jerry Hattrick. Oh, because I used to score. My name's actually Jerry Smith, but I used to score three goals put game. Oh, back in day. Back in day when...

They call me Jerry Hattrick, but now... Jerry Hattrick. Oh, you've changed. No, I'm Jerry... I mean, I'm old. Yeah, but you used to be good for football. I'm still good for football. You're now, good for not now. No, I'm still good for football.

I'm just not good for not we and myself a bit. Well, you know, my name. Have you got any turn of men? What's your name? My name is Ozzie Oporosis. Ossie, oh, Ossie, yeah, I've heard of you. Oporosis. Why did they, is that a nickname or you're a little name?

No, it's my birth name that is. Oporosis, you come from a long line of Operosis. Yeah, German. Oh. Yeah, German family. Anyway I'm My

Oh no I've got Sorry I've got to go My nurse My nurse is coming by I've got to go Because I've got to meet my mate You

No Um You D My mate My mate is a lady Dementcher They call

Oh yeah No well I can't Hang around too much Because Miss Dementia Because I've got My friend Coming up around

In minute To check on me Johnny Bathwash Arth Arthritis authoritis is coming over. No, I'm enjoying this. This is the best thing we've ever done.

Hello, I'm the Cheap Show. Let's just start the credits. Oh, right, go on. Cheap Show to the Mother Day. It's the Price of Cheap Show. Jeep shows back. Tell her friend.

I don't know how the rest of it goes. Do you know where you're entering, Paul? Where am I entering? Danger zone. Well, he's doing it. He has to do his little trots. I have to do a little bit. He always has to adjust my mic at the start of a recording session.

I do. Like a familiar little tick. Like mummy wiping goo-goo from baby mouth-mouth. Oh, mouth-mouth. Because he spat up his dinner. Have you ever seen like a parent suck the snot out of their child's nose? Oh, fuck it hell. Did you have to say that as I'm having a cup with me coffee?

It happened. I've seen it, just because they haven't got a cloth. Yeah, well, you know what? God, it's making me. Do you know what? Do you know what Lee Harvey Oswald did to his wife? She produced too much breast milk, and so he would suck it off their tities and drink it.

Yeah. And that's the worst thing he ever did that, man. Welcome to Cheap Show, the Economy Comedy Podcasts where my good self, Paul Gannon, and my esteemed colleague. Eli Silverman, hello, everybody. We go through the charity shops, bargain bins, pound lands. Oh, everywhere. cheap and cheerful to bring you the treasure we find amongst the trash.

And this week, it's just more shit, in it? Well, I mean, I think you're... Just more boring, repetitive shit from the two hacks who just press record and then go jizzles. Now, you know... Or they go quaffle. Or they go chod. You haven't said quaffle ever.

I'm going to say it more often from now on. I think that's an excellent one. I've just been quaffled off. Oh, I've spilt quaffled. Oh, I am dressed. Frenched in quaffle. You're right. That's a good one, quaffle.

Yeah. Oh, put that in the Pantheon. Anyway, hello. Hello. How are you? You're all right, mate. I've really grimmed out. It's a grim time of year.

But what I don't understand is, why is it the most depressing day of the year is next year? Is in January? I always find this part time of year when the weather changes, end of autumn, beginning of winter. That's grimmer. Some people find it romantic in that, you know, the reed leaves fall off the trees and, you know, it's chillier and there's a kind of frost that unites us all in agreement.

A frost that unites us all. You know, because we all walk down the street and we go, ooh, like that. Oh, yes. Oh, it's cold, isn't it? And then, you know, there's Christmas to look forward to, so it's kind of a romanticised period. I guess there's that as well. Whereas January is, oh, well, that's all over now. Here's more fucking shit and the weather's awful.

Yes, I see, I take your point. Christmas will be better if we actually had it in the alleged time Jesus was born in June. Because then at least you get Christmas, whey, New Year's, or no, you could just save New Year's, sorry, for December 31st and have something to do then. And then at least you get Christmas out the way,

oh, at least it's still nice weather. Yeah. I don't think Jesus gives a shit if it snows or not for his birthday. Well, I didn't snow where he was. Exactly. So what does he give a fuck about Christmas being snowy? I couldn't speak for the mind of God, Paul.

Do they know it's Christmas time at all? I was going to sing that. I thought when I was on the train today, I thought I hate that song. It sucks ass What's better That song Or feed the world

Feed the World No no no That is Feed the World The other one is No it's not You mean the American one Yeah because What was that

Feed the world Make it a better place For you and for me And the entire human race Is that how that went There are joy laughter In the sun is I gonna give it Was it Michael Jackson

Or Quincy Jones wrote it Or something Something like that No they knocked it off But what was the name of that song In this segment of the podcast, Paul is about to confuse we are the world by USA for Africa for heal the world by Michael Jackson.

As Paul is often quick to correct Eli for his incorrect information, it's only fair Paul is corrected also in this moment of confusion. Thank you kindly. Feed the world. I'm sure it's called Feed the World. Because Band-Aid is, do they know it's Christmas? But then in the background they go, feed the world, let them know it's Christmas time. Looking back on it.

Also, if you play in Wanmageddon. Ah, did they all just lose? Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. I told you when I was in the West End. Shut up, I'm spoiling the Christmas. The very next day, you gave it away. You've done it. You've done it all wrong for Christmas.

A jib, jib, jib, jib, jim, and a jip it away. A jip job, a flippity bob, I'll give it to someone quaffle. little last quaffle I gave you by your chit. I licked it off and I'd had a good spoff. Well, as you can imagine, dear listener. I'll puff you off. I'll scoff on your quaffle, knob, knob. Well, dear listener, as you are probably aware by now, we have no content for this week's episode. Wow.

Wow, we really don't. No, we do. We have some source. I think that's an insult to source. No, we have source. That's an insult to source. Yeah. Source is always content.

Uh, yes. Sources literal content. Of course. And you know what else it is? What? Condiment. Ah, do you know what salt is? A fucking condiment.

Did I say it wasn't? Yeah, and you were really fucking adamant. This wasn't in the episode. This was the thing was in night busing or something we did. That was the latest night busing everyone. It was quite contentious. Yeah, we're about to put that out. Did we have a seasoning versus condiment argument on nightbussing as well?

I can't remember because we also did the crap book episode for our $10 or more supporters. And that one's just you and me in the kitchen doing bad Frenchmen. impressions and it might have been that one as well but either way there was this whole how dare you poor you fucking idiot how dare you suggest salt isn't a condiment and you're really quite mean to me oh sorry and then i looked it up and of course it is a condiment to rag and to rag is wrong i had to put in a correction in the episode itself i actually dropped in a correction from the oxford english dictionary definition of the term torag and its origins therein so at least we do our best to make sure you're informed on this

fucking podcast, even if what we do say is largely dog shit. Well, nonsense. Nonsense seems to have a kind of wisdom behind it. A kind of perceived nonsense. It's a kind of, you know, an understanding of the loose and abstract. We're just dog shit saying quaffle. Quaffle's got a whimsical poetry to it. We're just amusing ourselves to death.

Quaffle has a whimsical poetry to it. It does actually, yeah. Yeah, so it's not dog shit. Dog shit is like if I said, oh, oh. I mean, yeah, that. Oh, fuck, fuck you. No. Oh, my knob's got cheese on.

Well, no, that's just what you would say to your doctor when you eventually go. My knob's got two inches of cheese on. Oh, well. Oh, why didn't you come sooner? I would have, but we need the cheese. That's a variation on that joke. Is it?

We need the Philadelphia. I don't even know what the original joke was. Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a chicken. My wife thinks she's a chicken. Right. Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would have, but we need the eggs or something like that. It's like that.

Oh. So, here's my version, final version. Doctor, Doctor, I've got cheese on my knob. It's two inches thick, and it smells of egg and fish and cheese. Well, you should have come sooner. Oh, but I would have, but we need to spread it on toast and eat it. Yeah, great. That's the best version of that joke.

That's the best one. Knob cheese on my knob. Hey, come on. I'm warming up to this, ma'am. Nob cheese. Nob cheese on my knob. We've got sauces. Can we do the sauces?

Waiter, waiter, can I have some cheese on this pasta? Zip. Oh, sir. Sir. Oh, it's a blue vein. It's a very soft blue vein cheese. Oh, very good. You found it.

Your mind found the link between pinklaces and cheese there. Have we ever done that before? Probably. It feels classic. You've come up with two classic things. I know, I'm on fire today. Blue vein knob cheese. So we just call it a day then?

I'd love to, wouldn't you? Then about 10 minutes we could call it if you wanted. Some people do that. Some people do daily podcasts and they're 10 minutes or so. Yeah, but they do them daily, don't they? Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Talk about edging. Yeah.

Talk about edging. Well, you want to talk about your knob cheese then? No. Right. Right, that's the energy gone from that bit. We're doing so well. Right, listen, look, we have got a little package of goodies to go through and Eli has got saucers.

Let's stop mucking about and talking shit and offering no real content to our listener. And get into it, because I know you like your sources. I do love my sources, Paul. And if you just, excuse me a second, I need to get into character for the serious segment. All right. In that case, I'm just going to put a little sound effect in here to break up the second. Could it be source-based? You know what?

I don't know if I've got a source sound effect. Like a squirty bottle, something like that. For you, I'm going to look for that for this week's episode. Because I just realized we have like shaky money pot and crisp bags and dice rolling for certain segments. but we don't have a kind of sound effect for a... Yeah, like a squeezy bottle.

That kind of sound. It's that kind of sound but you could bet there's a, you could read it. Did you know, some foley artists? Yeah.

They use their mouth a lot to actually make noises. Yeah. Like, David did when I saw him the other way. You saw him the other way. David did when you saw him the other way.

On the day. You're going to need. Other day. Other day. Not the other way. Did you see him in another way? Anyway, he used his mouth a lot on me that day as well.

David, who? I said, treat me like a scene from an action film in a bog, and he was like, who's fucking going at me? Who's this?

Your boyfriend? I don't get it. Just a guy I see. Just a guy who knobs you on. He works in, Foley sounds. Is he a quaffel expert as well? He puts a microphone down

by my groin and gets me old wanger out and gives me a quaffle off. It's all right? Let's do sources. Oh, fuck sake. Hello everybody, I'm Eli Silverman. Thanks for the dudes, there, Paul. And welcome to another source report.

I bring you source reports, reports of sources and source talking points. Paul is going to support me through this with his genuine interest in the world of condiment sources, sprinkles, jams, sweet sources. I'm going to do my best. You're going to do your best. Right. Shall we see what we got here? Yes. Now, we'll start with the pots and then go to the bottle.

Fucking magic's gone from this as well quite quickly. Start with the pots and go to the bottles, yeah? Now, do you have any updates on source in general? A broader news bulletin before we get down to the report? A broad source report. A broad source report, yes. No. No, all right.

Although I did watch a video about the history of Worcester sources, Worcester type sources. Yeah. There's a myth around the creation. Big hairy myth. Of Worcester sauce, Liam. is the big brand and basically they try to say they invented it but they there were lots of sauces around yeah there was one called uh reddings oh yeah bath sauce yeah yeah i make bath sauce

all the time right before i get out so i'm not like sitting there in a kind of miso poor soup and also you got henderson's relish which goes way back i've got henderson's relish but i found those interesting i found those my back you can eat leon parents even though you've got a slight allergy to fish because it has a little anchovia extract. Yeah, I've often found that I don't seem to have a problem with Worcester sauce, a little bit of, a couple of splashes on like cheese and toast or whatever. There's a tiny amount, isn't it? But they often use it in general anyway, really.

It's lovely on cheese on toast. Oh, I. I love hendoes. Yeah. Anyway, interesting. I like hand jobs. Because basically... I got nothing.

Fuck me. You don't, do you? Basically, it goes... Pathetic, man. There was this thing where they had... I'm doing it. I'm going down. I'm going sad now.

I'm going to do sad. There was one of those relishes, not Henderson's, but another one, which is very similar. And they had a thick version and a watery version, right? I'm not saying nothing, mate. And then basically what this video is saying is the thick version is what we would call brown sauce or HP. If you think about it, it's very similar. It's a very thick sauce, though, isn't it? Well, an HP is like a thick version of a Worcester sauce in terms of the flavour type thing.

It's fruity, it's umami, you know? No, I don't agree. Anyway, last time we had a source report, Paul, I can't remember if it was on the main show or one of our many spin-off content farm things. We have, yeah, we might have done a cheap shot or two with some sauces in. But we did taste, if you remember,

KFC's barbecue, their standard barbecue, and it was fucking terrible. Yes, it was really terrible. Watery, boring, nasty. Watery, no taste, just sweet. So what have you got? I've got two of KFC's premium sources. These are basically the only thing KFC has going for it anymore.

Since things like Popeyes has come over, they're just better, basically. And even like the Chicken Royale from Burger King. Whenever I'm getting a train somewhere, like a chicken royale, you know, get to grab one of those. Right. Cheesy. It's a cheesy chicken royale. So I just think whenever you get a KFC, it's disappointing, basically.

I'm quick. You've got to speed this up because I keep zoning out. I keep looking at the light switch. I'm thinking it looks like a little square chicken. The big story in KFC has been this sauce that I have in my hand. The spicy supercharger mayo. Spicy supercharger mayo. What's the handwriting?

I just says Colonel Holland Sanders. I think this is good. So let's start with this. All right. I think this is better than any food item on their menu, basically. What are you getting on the near from that? Well, honestly, it's very mayo forward. It's got a nice kick.

A little bit of tingle to it. But I honestly, smells one thing, tastes another. I'm going to get it. See what you think? I think it's got a lovely balance of all of the flavors, the sweet, the umami. It's very orange. There's a sort of vinegary kick as well. Yeah.

All right. Well, I'm going to go in and find out for myself. Oh yeah. The smell is very mayo forward. Whilst I can see why you like that, it has, to me, got a someone just farted in my mouth sensation. There is an element of boff to it, which it doesn't ruin it, but it's there. It's sweeter than I remember, just off the spoon. but it's got nice heat

do you see what I mean the heat's immediate but not too sharp too sharply hot it's just a nice sort of warmth at the end yeah very sweet though isn't it

well here's the thing I would only complain about that if it didn't have the heat to back it up but it does so I'm left with more heat than sweet in my mouth yeah

so you change your mind as that kind of went down right it's as I say the only thing I have against it is that's like boff note in there which I don't know

what it is but it feels like kind of like what's that thing they use for bacon when it comes to to like fake flavors and stuff

you know what I mean It's like it's either bacon flavor or to this flavor because they're very similar. You know, it's a flavoring. It's a shake. A shake you put on it. Cayenne. No. Cyan.

What is it? Bacon shake. You tell me what I'm thinking about now. Shaking bacon flakes. What's that? Paprika. Yes. There's almost like a paprika note in there which kind of gives it a little farty burn note.

Paprika is just smoked chili pepper. Yeah, okay. Right. I know. But would you say that was better than their barbecue sauce? There's definitely more going on. Oh, I don't like barbecue sauce. much anyway, so I would off, I would go with that anyway.

That would be nice on chips or splashed in the middle of a burger. Basically, it's the best thing about that whole, that whole franchise at the moment. And now, burger. For our second and final KFC, source report of the day. Hey, late, mate, I'm fast food, Freddy. Do you want it's all the greatest secrets? If you go down to old Marley's on the ice streets, they do fucking chicken there. Paul, who let this...

Not Morleys. Don't go Mollies, you want to go to Mali's. The guy there who runs it, is a little bit dodged, but he does a fucking good chicken burger. He does. You know what I fucking heard Don't you dare I'm the character You're Eli

Or it just ends now Oh I fucking end it It wasn't very good anyway But I'm off now I'm fast food Freddy And I've got all the hot tips Of the ice needs Of the fast food restaurants

You should fucking go to Such as Marley's Tony open at Christmas Eve That's the joke there Yeah I was gonna say That's why I was gonna say Well you can't do it in that voice I've heard that this is the ghost

of Christmas. No. Al-la-la-la. La-la-la. I'm not listening. Go on. You can't say I'm not listening. You've got headphones on.

You can hear me anyway. What? What's the next one? Mayo chicken boothboff. Garlic buttermilk, mayo. Garlic buttermilk. Ooh. And this is KFC as well.

What would you have that with? Your chicken? Oh, I guess. Your chips? Oh, I like to dip a chip in it. You know what I mean? Oh, when things get tough, dip a chip in it. Now, I just feel like KFC needs to up their food.

but the sauce, they need to have more sauces. I'm all for sauce. It looks quite thick. Yeah. It's a dollop. It's nice and thick. Ugh. Smell it.

Oh, I don't know. Taste a little bit. Just a little bit. I know you're not that into garlic. This is the garlic. It's always weird when we do these taste tests. It's just all spooning fucking mayo and stuff into our gobs. That's how I like it.

No. You know, what? It's the garlic. It's just not for me. Uh, no. Again, I'm getting quite a salad cream. It's the sweetness. It's very salad creamy.

I quite like it, though. No, that was, that was, like watery and thin and not like literally like like flavor wise it felt quite thin just like bad bad milk bad milk in the fridge that kind of thing you know i don't know what to what to say like long live milk could you taste a sort of chemical almost sort of like a slightly curdled thing it felt curdled yeah i thought that was all right i think that's quite nice you are wrong both are better than their standard i like the first one more most yes that is that they're already up now that's the next one that's outstanding sauce the super nice

Next one now, I'm bored. Mate, you're going to get more bought because we've got fucking four sources to go. I know, but you keep dragging this out. I'm not tracking it out, mate. We should just like line them all up. Bosch, boss, boss, bush, boche, boosh, boosh, boosh, boss, boosh, nice, nice, good, yummy, nice, nasty. You're wasting your own time here by interrupting me, okay? So just sit back.

Now, McDonald's have had recently their world heist menu. Oh, yeah. It only included one new limited edition sauce, and I have that source with me today, Paul. And what is that? Garlic soy. Now, you couldn't order this separately. What would you usually have it with then? You had to get it with the Japanese black pepper nuggets, which were pretty good, I have to say.

All right, let's get into it then. Come on, love. Okay. Here we go. Now, I went to the one in Harrow, and the lady there was kind enough to actually give me, just gave me a couple of these. Oh, well, he's in with her. This is, again, a garlic one. But as a comparison to the garlic buttermilk that we just had, see what you think.

But have a smell first. Well, it's more yellow. Comey. It's white, yes. Yeah. But it said... Fucking hell, that smells of cheese. That's got a real cheesy note.

It's the soy. It's the soy. It's the soy. Garlic soy. I honestly thought it was going to be dark like a kind of barbecue sauce brown. But they've gone for more a mayo. It's a slightly tan mayo, basically. What are you getting?

It's kind of weirdly lemony. There's a tartness, a sourness then. Ah, uh, I don't know, mate. Fuck me. I hate this segment. Sorry. It's just always like this set to me... I like that.

It's fine. It's slightly kind of metallicy on the tink of the tongue. It's almost a stale garlic. Don't you see that kind of lemony, citrusy kind of note to it as well? It's like there's that and then there's garlic underneath. Yeah. And it's thin. It's a weird source, isn't it, actually?

I don't know about that. It works with the nugs. It works with the nugs. But by itself, I'm changing my mind on that. Yeah. It feels... It feels like it hasn't got the amplitude. It's not sort of...

It's not rounded. No. The journey's a bit like, oh, and he got the wrong bus And then, oh, you've ended up somewhere He didn't, oh, he went my past, driver! Oh, shit, driver! Exactly, do you know what I mean? Yeah.

It's like, doesn't know where it wants to be or where it wants to go and who it wants to be with. It's drunk at a party and no one's taking it home. No one's taking it home. Poor sauce. And it's gone out of the back. And it's looking at a cat. It's looking at a little cat out there.

It's smoking in the garden. I'm going to look at a cat. That's probably a neighbor's cat. And then someone calls his name and he hears it, but he willfully ignores it. Now? No, wait, we're going to do a break before we go into more sauce

What was your favourite of the three? Mine was the first one, the hop-shad spanky one. I would have to agree, actually. I thought that I liked the garlic soy. I like it with the nugs, but not by itself like that. I mean, we're judging these unfairly because we kind of judge them on their own

without something to prop it up. But, yeah, no, out of those three. The spicy superchargers, their best thing KFC does, basically. Right. And that's why they're trying to put it on everything. Yeah. They're spicy fucking this and that.

Right, that's it. No, I'm going to put a break in. Now, I'm done. We'll cut a break and then we'll come back and do the next sources. We're doing more sauce there, everyone. Yeah, no, I'm fine,

but I need a mental breather. From just from all of this. Christ, come on. Now, one last, we've got three sources to go. Thank you for listening to Source Report. Well, you know what, mate?

Here on the Cheap Show podcast. We don't have three more sources to go. Don't we? We may have four. Oh. So speed these off. Have you got a secret sauce? I've got a secret sauce.

Secret special surprise sauce. You gotta know it, because I've got some secret sauce in the box only for you. I've splashed it all of me. Splash it. And splosh it. Now, you were with me when we saw these the other day, and they were very reasonably priced in Morrison's. Morisons, yeah.

These are meatlust. So these are meat. It was part of a whole segment where it was like, here's all these fucking weird sources and shit by this weird brand and whatnot. Yes, but they also had, in the similar. similar bottle, some yo-branded, yo-sushi branded. Oh, that's right, yeah. You remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was a few, but we

bought two, because there was a deal on. These are both, the other one was like, what was it, beer barbecue or something? Yes. Boosy barbecue. There was one more, I think, in this. These are meatlust is the brand. Yeah. So these are definitely for barbecue. I like these, what do you call it, restaurant sauce dispenser style?

Squeezy, squeasy, squeasy top. They've got squeasy with the twist top and also a little cap on a little... Well, like you would in a restaurant or a barbecue. An American diner With your ketchup and your mustard And you put them in the tubes And you go

Out the titties Yeah, that's right Oh, he's a sealed I haven't opened them since we got them No, they're sealed So he's opening the first one Which is a dark, almost, is it green? Yes, green sweet chili sauce

This caught my eye because sweet chili is always red And green is definitely On the other side Usually green chili sauces are more vegetable all. Thank you, Stanley knife. Just giving him a little knife to cut it. Do you see what I mean? They go for more of a savoury green, like if you get an Indian green

chili sauce, it's going to be quite tart and salty as opposed to sweet. So I haven't, do you see, what I'm getting at is it's an unusual. It's unusual. It's unusual. You know what I mean, Eli? Yeah, I do know what you mean. I know, I've always known what you've meant, Eli. Okay, so.

Oh, what's this on the nose is happy. There's a lot of garlic. I'm sorry, there's garlic in all of these sauces. A lot of garlic today. apart from the supercharger, which was your favourite. Yeah, true. Yeah, so I think you've got a garlic a version. Give this a smell.

All right. I'm getting a lot of like... I sniff the microphone then. It's like a Mexican sort of spice thing. Yeah. I don't think you need to take that off as totally. Oh, okay. Oh, well done.

What would you say? It's kind of grassy almost. It's got kind of grassy. Yeah, it's the green. So I'm wondering how this will work with sweetness. Because you, that... Oh, I've just looked a little bit off my fingers. Is it hot?

No, well, well, it's very sweet. I'll say that. No, I'll do it. I'll do it. You get off. I'll do it. I don't like it when you take over. I just want to squirt a bit onto your spoon. Yeah, but you look after yourself. So again, this is the meat last, careful.

Oh, it's having a fight coming out. Isn't it coming out? Don't squeeze too hard because he'll go everywhere. I've got a firm grip on it, but it's not just... Oh, hang on. There's another seal. No, yeah, you just got twist. No, there's another seal. No, there's another seal on the bottom of the thing here. You didn't take out.

Ah, it's double seals. I didn't notice that. Well, that's good. At least it will be fresh. There we go. Now we're ready to squeeze. We're ready to squeeze some of this green gunk onto the spoon. Meat lust.

Oh, right. Here we go. Meat lust. What's the consistency like? A little runny. It's gelatinous, more than, like, thin. Got a little green with flexing. Oh.

Ah. Oh, God, that's like sweet Paxo. Oh, my God, it's too sweet. But do you taste the Paxo in that? Yeah. That's terrible. That's not even hot. What is that?

That is so sweet. Ugh. Green sweet chili sauce. It doesn't work. It's the grass notes fighting against the sweetness. And the sweetness is too high. No, I'm sorry,

the best we to describe that is like a punchless sweet chili sauce with Paxo in. I don't know why you keep going back to that. Because it does. It tastes like Paxo. Like a gravy sort of. No, the stuff you put in a chicken.

Oh, yes. Stuffing. That's a herbie sort of the herbie note. Yeah. That's an oregano sort of herbie, herbie note. Paul, what we got next? Well, this is another.

meat lust. Now, the first one. I hope it's better than that, because that was the worst soul so far. It actually makes me glad we didn't get the barbecue sauce one, because I think that might have been... It's too sweet, I'd say. What is even the point of that flavour? You know, you like red sweet chili, Thai sweet chili sauce, but that has a sort of stickiness to it. Do you know what I mean, in terms of the texture that works better? You use it more like a kind of exotic ketchup than anything else. Yes, right? Well, I think you meant to do that with the same. That's a meat sauce, you know? It's horrible. I did not like. They were quite reasonably priced these, though.

as I remember, weren't they? But under a quid each or something? No, I think it was like two for $2.50 or something. Or three quid each. They weren't egregious. Well, definitely wasn't three quid. All right, I'm gone. This is the buffalo.

Well, this just smells a little bit more promising. Because it's got that sharpness. The buffalo... It's a bright orange. Wait, what does it say? Oh, fiery buffalo. Fiery buffalo. Fragile for wings.

It's got chummy copy. Yeah, because it says this is no real buffalo. This sauce is buffalo free. Yeah, go fuck yourself. Go, you fuck off. Meat lost. Bullocks. Same consistency as that.

The last, the halfway house between gelatinous and thin. I'm going to have a sniff with a lid off. Bright orange, not unlike, I don't know. I like buffalo sauce because I like that extreme vinegreness. Like a tangerine kind of orange. It is, yeah. Oh, that smells better, you're right. Oh, that's got an umami.

Yeah. It's got a nice umami on that. What do you think of the taste? It's much better than the other one. It's got a little bit of a heat, not, I wouldn't say it's fiery. No. It is still too sweet. Really?

God. Still a bit too thin. It's, look, it's middle of the line. kind of muck. It's not too awful and it's not great. He didn't like it, though. Stale.

It does have like a mouldy quality. Yeah, stale. But better than the... Can I consider me? Those are both very poor. Now, you... But I could have, I could have, like,

made you swallow a load of my cummer nettles, and that would have been a more pleasant taste sensation. Common nettles? Yeah, like a bowl of cummettles. Oh, yeah, yeah. I went down the old cammin nettles.

I said, I'll have a pint of quaffle, please. Oh, quaffles best. Yeah, what a foamy quothel head. I have to ring out my fanny Oh wait Oh wait I'm not going nowhere love

Oh get the gusset beer out Now are the poorness of those meatlust Sources making you reconsider The first three sources we had poor They're better In comparison, much better Oh mate Second to last source

I have done what to say Second to last source It's just all wobbly mess in my mouth Now Shri Ratcher We've covered Shri Ratcha before We have coming at you like Shirachia. This is I find it interesting in terms

of the trends in sauces because this is Lingam's chili sauce. You get this for, it's going to back years, yes, I'm going to perform some kind of lingam on this. No, that wasn't what I was thinking. I'm going to perform heavy kind of lingam. I stepped outside of myself to look at myself at us to do what we do. Yeah.

I'm going, what's all this. Is that what made you laugh? Yeah. He wasn't Kana lingam. Kana lingam. Kana lingam. Kna lingams. I'm going to perform heavy kind of lingums on it. Kana lingam, kind of lingam. Con a lingam, can a lingam, come, come, come a lingam, come, come a lingam. Come and lick my come, m'em. And then she smacked on my mick.

And then she, oh, and it's her a stink. So, Shiracha has been a huge... It's been and growler. Shurachar has been a huge success worldwide, as we know. It occurred to me, after tasting this, because I have tasted this one. The Lingam's chili sauce, Shurracha version. Yeah, it did occur to me.

I think I understand why Shurracha has been hugely popular in recent years, Paul. Do you want to hear my little insight? Yeah, go on quick, because honestly, we are now dangerously in the Paul Checks Out Zone. It's because... And I'm saying that is also maybe reflective of our listenership as well, so consider them. What, they're in the... Check out on Paul. No, the checkout on this segment.

Check out the tits on Paul. It's like someone downloads the episode and they go, oh, what's in this week? Oh, oh, source report. Oh, for fuck sake. I have to take, look, skip. No, I have to take one moment to remind you. Source report, it's a foundational segment of this podcast and is one of the fan favorites, firm fan favorites.

You try and do this every time you don't support the sources, you don't interest, no interest in the sources, and then you try and say, you try and undermine the sources. This is going to lead to the breakdown of sources on this show. Oh, fucking dear. Don't threaten me with a good time. Listen, if you're listening out there and you love the source report, As I know, we all know you do.

Even Paul, in his heart of hearts, he knows. He knows in his heart of heart, everyone loves sauce. I put up with some fucking great amounts of shit on this podcast. I just have one small point to make about Chirac's success. Quick. It's not only a chili sauce, it's also a garlic sauce. And garlic adds umami. And it's because of the garliciness that makes it more accessible and more umami.

And that's why it's had a huge success. Right. People don't mention the... They just call it chili sauce. This is Cunalinga sauce and it's Chirachia. This is Lingam's chili sauce. Now, I say that. Because this is quite,

spoon, there's your spoon, there's your spoon. This is garlic forward. This is quite garlic forward, this sauce. All right. It's a, I think this is quite nice. I got it from super supermarket, whatever. Lingam's usually in a glass bottle, but this isn't a very, I think, pleasing. Yeah, no, a nice, squeezy, green and red, syracha style bottle.

Fine, it's visually recognisable as a saratia bottle. I think it's really good. Hmm. It's just good, isn't it? It's the most interesting, flavour-wise of everything we're in today. What's the interest? Why interest? There's a little bit.

There's a little, well, the garlic's not, I would say. The garlic is the least prominent thing about that flavour. I think it's got sharp, like, chili notes, sharp sparkle, ketchupy, tomatoe, citrus. You know, like a can of like... Yeah, that's the marquis that the garlic gives. Yeah, almost like a passat take on it, almost. Yes, but that's what it... I see, this keeps coming up every time you taste tarotia,

and it's same with Stuart Ashton. You say, oh, it's tomatoy. There's no tomato in Syracuratia. No, we know this. It doesn't mean we can't say it lingers in our mind on the same flavor profile. Yes, you can say that, and I just think it's interesting. That is, wine discussions would be pointless when people say, oh, it's grassy. It's got hayno, it's got grape.

Shut up. Hey, Jilly Godden or whatever your name is. Shut up. Shut up. Plog, plog, plog, plog in my gob, in my tum. Plog, plog, drink it up, have a fight, do a cum. Jilly Godden, more like jilly yeast infection. He liked it.

He liked it, really. Did I repeat it? Then I didn't like it. Did the slow clap. Yeah, slow clap. That's another way you show you appreciation. Is that the sauce support over? It is, isn't it, though?

No, it's time for secret specials extra sauce. Well, that's part of the next segment altogether. I would like to say something about this Lingam's chili. You have got 30 seconds. It's nice. The way why people say tomato is because the garlic. The garlic is what is the secret thing that leads to the success of Saratcha as a whole category. It's the secret source of the secret sauce.

What is your favorite source of those all six that we did? Maybe the Sirratcher, followed by the Supercharger Mayo, and then the rest of it can get fucked. Yeah, I'd have to agree. I was looking forward to tasting the miso soy from McDonald's. I have one little point, right, to make... Jesus Christ. Paul, don't do that. That's going to be the death of this podcast.

When you lean into the farce, he's literally leaning away from it, trying to let it out. He's squeezing. I'll stop. Well done. It wasn't as wet as usual, but oh, that is. Oh, mate. So underwater to create submarine door. And that is my edge.

educated review of the sources today. I would just like to call out again the fast food giants for being lazy because I saw there's this new McDonald's chicken cheesy thing coming. Do you know how they've made it cheesy? They put mozzarella sticks in it which is like taking an existing

item that it's already there and then they put it together and they say it's something new. It's like when McDonald's said the barbecue. You sound like a madman. Shut off. The barbecue quarter pound. Do you remember that? And it was just their standard barbecue sauce.

they put into a quarter pounder. And that's what they do with the supercharger zinger as well. Terrible wind. Stop. I'm in so much agony. Stop. With my wind.

Oh, anyway, that was a source report. Wasn't it good? No, because you undermined it. Undermined it. Oh, boo-lo. And if you're listening and you love sources, fucking let Paul know. Let your representative know.

He can't keep this up. They'll have to accept sources. Thank you for saying which one was your favourite, though, Paul. I did because I did have a favourite. That's nice. My belly started to go rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble. We always need to remember to get chips to taste the sauce as well because the naked sauce on a spoon is just...

I'm just going to stop it now. I did a fork, too. Paul. Oh, dear. I'd make shit. You might shit yourself. Now, I don't know how much of this you're leaving in, Paul, but that was the most farts you've ever done on an episode.

I might cut a load of those. out because honestly it's horrible it's not good but i kept one of yours and one of mine in i think i only did one and you know what if the comedy reviewers listen to this particular episode they get to that bit and they say i'm out that i've checked out then a we do apologize but be do we no don't apologize for me no i'll say overall the brand cheap show apologises but personally speaking we don't care oh mate are you going to be able to hold on for the rest of the recording Please stop trying to push Just leave it alone

No it's not It'll never come all out Oh Quaffle Right so we got a box Now some of the stuff in this box Might not be from this particular person Because over the course of the last few weeks

There's been a mountain of shit Building up in my hallway of P.O. Box stuff Things that were given to us from the live show Sounds like this doesn't appreciate it doesn't it No it's not that It's just that sometimes I mix things up When I'm trying to arrange space And then I lose track of who sent what with which

So I apologise Some of these boxes might have have merged? No, no, no, no. I think this box might be a merge. The rest of it's been fine, all right? I'm just saying. Well, if this box is emerged, then at least one other boxes is either depleted or merged itself. Well, no. Has this been added to only? Because some of us, some of the stuff was in that episode. We did a few weeks back when we went through the live show stuff. Yeah, I'm my tummy too. Is that sauce set off our bellies? I don't know, but weirdly. Why have we both started like? Because with random spoons of sauce.

Oh. Right. We're 10 years older than when we started making this podcast. Anyway, here's a letter. Tumpy says this. Tumpy. I was thinking about them the other day. Anyway, they sent a box. Comes to this letter. Hopefully everything in this box is from them.

We'll find out. Hello, chaps. Long time, no froth. Thought I'd send some shite as I've been on some journeys and cleared my house out. Box contains a failed print of my furosa. Oh, I know what that is.

Chris Wangle, one of those weird bubble things and some stuff. as well, enjoy a wee montage of the VR chat, fluffy boy guys, you inspired. I don't know what that means. I think it's what that image is on the back. Cool. Those are really cool.

Tumpy, look. It's a character. Yeah, I think it's a furry thing, isn't it? Like a furry thing, like a wolfy character. Oh, that's really cool. Can I keep that? Yeah, if you want. I put that on my wall.

Tribute. I like that. I like the writing. Tumpy, it's nice. Yeah, it looks almost like a comic book from Mabino or something, in it. Yeah, that's really cool, actually. So anyway, at least I know that most of stuff And here is from them.

It says, Finley Boo. Fluffy boy. I don't know. That's a fluffy thing. Fluffy boy. Fluffy boy. As in sound boy. What did you say they had?

They had a flap. A gooch hole. No, there was a word for it, a special flap. Yeah. A yiffing flap. Yeah. Yiffing. Yeah.

It's where they fuck each other up. Is it? Yeah. We've covered this literally on one of the first three episodes we did of this year. Yeah, that's very good. Do you up again? Ten years ago. Not only are we allowed to forget, but we're also allowed to now repeat that stuff.

Yes. I think this comes from them. I'm not sure, but it's another hot sauce. So it's Highlander hot sauce. Whiskey sauce, does that say? Yeah. Yeah. Highlander's hot sauce.

The company is called Whiskey Sauce Company. Yeah, but they're very rare those Highlander sauces because they can only be one. Yes. All right. The movie. Yeah. Overrated film. Who wants to live forever?

Overshadowed by its excellent score. Queen is mostly the reason people remember that film. Ready? Right. He's popped the top off. I'm getting garlic off this as well. Everything's fucking... It does say garlic, does it?

It did say, didn't it? Didn't you just tell me it said garlic sauce on it or some garlic something? Whiskey. What did you say it was? Whiskey sauce? It's just Highlanders hot sauce.

But didn't it say whiskey? The company's called Whiskey Sauce Company. Oh, the company's got that right. So you think, maybe. Let's see what it says on the back, Paul. All right. Can you read that?

Yeah, probably. Put it on the light. Oh, hang on. I know. Seriously, this might be the best thing I've ever bought on this podcast. It is illuminated magnifying glass. Right.

A spicy sauce made from whiskey From the Scottish Highlands So all right Made with Scotch malt whiskey Yeah Splash onto cheese on toast Into stews and bolognades For a spicy kick

It has vinegar, water Soy sauce sauce, garlic sugar, lemon juice, treacle Scotch malt whiskey First ingredient vinegar No malt barley is the first ingredient Weird Very weird

Good for vegetarians And then barcode Might be okay Right I'm gonna give it a little bit of a smooth I haven't got great high hopes for this Give it a sniff. I'm getting a lot of garlic. A little bit, but I can also kind of really smell the whiskey.

It's almost like that stuff you can get. You know, that like fake coffee that you squeeze out or you pour out into a cup of a. Coffee syrup. Yeah, it's almost like that consistency in colour. Yes, very dark. That's all right. I don't think it's a hot sauce at all.

I'm not getting any real heat from that. Is that meant to be a hot sauce? Well, it says hot sauce on it, right? There's no heat. No. But it's nice. I quite like the flavor. It's got molassesy, almost licoricey, sort of mulchish.

Liquorish molassy. That's not bad. You're right. That's quite nice. But if you use it like it says on the back, like on cheese on toast and a stew, yeah. That'd be good. There's no heat. No heat.

There's zero heat. There's much more heat. Like the Supercharger, for example. Yes, lots more heat. And the Lingams, everything. How do they call that hot sauce? Well, maybe, I mean, maybe the brand of it is all that, but it's not hot. It says hot sauce on the bowl.

I'm not seeing things. But it also doesn't have any, like, chili markings or how hot it is. It's weird. It's just the marketing. Yeah. They've made what is essentially a kind of brown sauce. Yes. Isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a Not too bad No, I like it And for like a flavour Enhancer for something Yes And it's got a smokiness

We haven't mentioned It's tried it yet Yeah It's got a smokiness As well as that Sweetness at the top Yeah In terms of all the sources

We tasted today That has got It feels like it's got A nice balance And more yes Yeah A bit more nuance A bit more complexity

Even though The heat itself Completely missing Yeah Well anyway There you go Thank you very much Let's move on

To the next Of the box Of assorted clutter Right, this is the thing that they printed out based on their drawings and artwork. I'll show you it now. Oh, it's a 3D printed Furiosa? Yeah, this character. There you go.

Pictures on our website, the cheapshow.com.com, UK, and on our Instagram account. That is a chunky boy. And I think this is another one they've made as well. Oh, a 3D printed skull. Yeah, that's kind of cool. I like the shiny 3D printedness of it. Yeah, that's cool. If you wanted to, you could get a bit of a wet sanding.

it and shave it down and make it smoother. Can you do that? Yeah. You just get a fine grit piece of sandpaper and a little bit of water and you just rub it all on. I think the texture on this skull works for what it is, though, if you see what I mean. It's like a kind of Mexican school day the deady kind of thing. I like that. I would hang on to that.

I'm not sure about this big Furiosa. I was expecting the character out of Mad Max, but instead it's a squirrel with a huge tail. I think it's meant to be like a wolf, isn't it? Well, it's a squirrel. I mean, why doesn't a wolf have a tail like that? It looks like a huge, pointy mace. Oh, now, you can see you at the bottom there

You'd want to sand that down There's no yiffing flap You'd see there's got all bits of sprue, loose sprue and everything there Yeah, but that's fine It's fine, you can't get the loose sprue down, can't you? I just wanted to say it's loose fru It's not even spruce probably

I just love that word, man It's Flash Oh yeah, it's called Flash I think it's cool that Anyway, you want to get some sanding on the upper bottom of this tail You know what, I'm more disappointed When I said Flash, you didn't go

Ah! But there you go, you can't have them all Savior of the universe What are we going to do with these? You can have it I might just put it on a shelf You can put that on a shelf Or I might

I'd like the skull I'd like the skull please Yeah you can have the skull And I'll keep the Tumpy bot Or whatever you can see how this skull Died because there's three slashes At the back of the skull Yeah

That's where the axe went in Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop A bit overkill On the killing I'm estimating that some of this stuff Is sent by Tumpy And some of it is just random whatever Let's have a look at it anyway.

There's a noodle. It's a noodle, noodle influx. Pickled vegetable flavour, these are the absolute bomb. I haven't seen this actual brand. No, I don't know it. I know this brand. The logo is a person doing that. It says it on there.

I saw that. On the top, if you look, if you scroll it down a little bit, there's a little man on the top, isn't it? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's the brand, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what they're called because it's in Chinese.

But pickled vegetables, this might have an actual wet pack. One of the sachets, because I've tasted these that have a little wet. And what I've been getting to pimp my noodles at home pool Is a little pimping update Is you can get these little packets of pickled mustard stem And so on, bamboo shoots, that type of thing. Radish, et cetera. And they're very cheap, like 40, 50p, some of them.

Just slam a few in. Yeah, bosh. Bish. Slam it in your noodle. Nosh not, boss. A little bit of pickle flavor, a little crunch they have. Very good. Giff, goff, goff. Coffle off.

All right, next one. I will be eating that. Thank you very much. Oh, it's doll. Dole. Dole is the brand. Oh, doll is the brand. Doll. Oh, he's a doll. He's a doll. That's my first ever instant noodle.

So it's close to my heart. I bet Tumpy knew that as well because I used to go on about them. And because they stare at your bedroom window at night. They were my first brand. And they still go to this day. Dole new. Dole chicken. And you know what? That woman, Katie Broome, whose dad was in play school,

she persuaded me that people ate them with chocolate in normally. And I had one with chocolate and it was quite good. But then she said, ha, ha, ha. No, they don't. I miss you, Katie Broome. All right, well, we've all learned something there. Paul's looking in the box for some other things. I hope there's something else in there.

Oh, just load. I just don't know what to do. Come on then. This, this. I don't get this. He's handed me, it's a blue little pouch. Pouch thing. Called auto what? Auto kit.

It's some kind of kit for a cork. Yeah, but for a car. But open it up and it's, I don't get it. It's a camera. It's a one-use camera. It's an accident. So you have an accident. You take the camera out.

You take some pictures. This has to be American then. Well, it has to be completely out of date, as well. Yeah, because I don't even know of that... No, disposable camera. Let's see what

there's a form in a little... Oh, yeah. I thought it would be like a kit where you could... Here we go. No, no, no. I don't you think by that? You'd think, oh, it's a little punchy repair kit

or it's a little screwdriver set. This... Instead, it's a weird... It's a single-use disposable camera. Go on, sorry. With also a little pouch, there's a tape measure. Talking to the microphone.

There's a tape measure there as an audio podcast medium. There's a tape measure there as well, Paul. And in a little PVC pocket, I found this form. Do you know what it says at the top of this form? Agreed statement of facts on motor vehicle accident. So you hit someone and you say, right, before you go,

can you help fill out this form? Yeah. And then the tape measure is... Date of accident, place, witnesses, injuries, even if slight. Got a little scratch on the end of my knob. That's all the tapes for, isn't it? You can put it up against the thing and say, that's how big the scratches.

Can measure it measure the thickness of the cheese? I don't need to do it. What if my cheese fell off during the accident? What if it shook off the cheese? What have I had a piece of toast under my knob, right? No, I'm just transporting toast, right? I'm transporting toast and I haven't had a shower, right? Knob cheese on toast.

This accident has resulted in knob cheese on toast. My name is Eli Silverman. And three weeks ago in my work, I was carrying a plate of toast forward with my penis out to put some cheese on when I was slightly hit by a car coming from the opposite direction. Claims direct helped me get all that knob cheese put back on the tip of my encrusted helmet. and the payout of £4,000. Oh, yes.

So that is a completely anachronistic item because it has a disposable camera. Talk to the mic. Fucking shut up. Well, they're fucking talking to the mic. It's been a decade. And you don't have any awareness. It's mind-boggling the lack of awareness you have.

Just calm. Calm down. Are I wrong? Calm down. It's like you don't understand how sound works. You've been in a fucking terrible mood for the last four years. Right. Ten years.

Yes, you have. Constant mood. So it's his little accident report. Get a pen, get a camera. A biro, a camera, a tape measure and an accident form. And it all comes in a smart little blue Velcro clothes pouch. Useless. Stick this in your glove compartment, isn't it?

Yeah. It's not useless. It's from an era. Because now you could use dash cam footage or your phone and whatever. That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean? It's an anachronism. But back then when no one had cameras everywhere, that would be handy. That's a charm to it.

So that's like a 90s thing. Early 2000's at most. It must be, yeah. Even older, but it's definitely not been used, so that's good. One less accident in the world. Well, you hope so. Right. Next load of stuff.

Blind bag things. One is called Talas. Oh, you know what? It's time to bring out the Google Lens Machine. Google Translate. The Google Lens Machine. It's time to pull out the Google Lens Machine, the Google. There we go.

Translate, thank you. Note gummy. Mixed fruit flavored flavored gummies. Oh, these are gummies. There's gummies. This is a gummy thing. All right, you open that then. It's an anime thing about something I don't really understand.

Hatsunei Miku. I don't know what that means. Maybe it's the show or the character or both. Maybe. Oh, this is a musical artist. Hatsunei Miku is a musical artist. Officially codenamed CV-O-1. Don't care.

Have a sweet. Here you go. It's a vocaloid software voice bank. It's an AI fucking pop star. It's the official mascot is depicted as a 16-year-old girl with long turquoise twins. Oh, brilliant. So it's kind of like if TrackBot was redesigned by an anime artist. I presume these are in.

These are musical note gummies I've got. Oh, they're claves or what have you, little musical notation gummy. Oh, yeah. Mine's a double cleft or whatever it's called. They're all double clefts. Perfumi. Yeah. Not Perfumo.

The scandal in the late 60s of the politicians. Profumo. Yeah. They're all right. They're too floral. Yeah, too floral. But nice texture. Yeah, no, the texture.

It's bitey texture. The texture's good, but it's that kind of grandma's lavender sort of vibe. Or like you've accidentally eaten one of your sister's toys kind of, I don't know. You know, you accidentally put a strawberry shortcake in your mouth kind of vibe. Yeah, not a great flavor. Very artificial. But here's the other one. Now, this is going to make us feel really old.

Do you know what skibididi is? Skibidi toilet, yes. It was a hit. It was a meme thing last year, wasn't it? I don't. Well, no, it's been going through. for years, like years and years and years. Yeah, but it really crossed over last year.

Weirdly. Because we heard about it. Well, yeah. Skidibibibibi. It's just like a, what, a show? I don't know. It's a game, I think. It's got something to do with a game.

Mate, the more we go into it, the more was going to sound like old out of touch pricks, which, fine, I just don't want to highlight that too much. This is Skibbidi Toilet Mystery Mini Figures. But also, you know, there's like that Russian band called Big Small or something. No, them I have not heard of. Okay, well, I have. And provided they've gotten the name right, they did a song a few years ago called Skis

Skibibibidi or something and it was like a weird dance thing Skibibibibibibibibibit and I thought it was the same thing It's not the same thing But apparently I don't think they are Okay this is a mystery figure And it's series one one set So what we're hoping for

Oh look you could get here On the back it says you could get a cameraman Which is a man with a camera head Yeah I think they're all characters from the show Skibbidi toilet I'd like skibody toilet G toilet look there's G toilet Yeah there's a song called

Skibbibidi by Little Big is the name of the band Little Big That's what you said Yeah I've opened it Paul Hang on Oh yeah, I know that It's that one with all dancing Oh, I hate that

Turn it off One, two, three, four It's that sound I don't like that sound I want you I want you I want you I listen to the album from

We're going to get You don't want to put this on the podcast, man Skimidi-d-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-m-m-b-b-b-b-mall. I believe this is what they call cringe. Yes. No one cares. I like this figure. What have you got?

No one cares. You don't care about anything, Paul, apart from your own serving your own ego. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're such a dicket. This figure is... I don't care.

You don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care to. All right, move on to the next thing then. I don't know. I don't care to.

All right, let's not. Let's just sit here, then. Oh, come on, mate, show us it. Oh, well, do you care? I care. Thank you. You do care. Okay.

It's pretty cool. I think it's, um... I don't care. What is it? It's a little, like, security man thing. It's cameraman. Oh, it is. It's like a security camera.

It's that one, isn't it? Cameraman. Speaker man, Skibbidi toilet. I like that figure. TV woman. I like it better than Skibbidi toilet. Plunger man. Easy Clanker man.

G toilet. You know what? Clanker. Is that all you got in it? Yeah. Oh, okay. I know. and some stickers and a poster thing.

Oh, okay, fine, but they're alright. There's not a bad little thing, though. Not bad as these things go, figures go. I mean, I don't understand what they're from or who they're about, but, you know, nice couple of stickers, stupid poster. The problem with clanker, Paul, is it was almost word of the year. Was it? Yeah, because it means robot or AI now.

Clanker, you know, like a clanky old robot sort of thing. Oh, okay, right, right, right. But yes. I might collect them all. Anyway, all right, do you want that? Which means if you're going to watch my short film, award-winning short film of a few, but years. It's harder to find online.

And it's going to be people think it's about robots or something. Well, then they'll end up watching a delightful short film instead by accident. You know, win, win. You're going to have that. It's quite a cool figure, quite solid. Yeah, it's all right. Nice. Quite dystopian, isn't it?

Because it's like a... Well, yes, no. I mean, that's the whole thing about the aesthetic of this. It's all kind of very industrial and dystopian and, you know, big brother-esque. Yes, because this is literally like a security camera mounted on a body of what looks like a sort of nightclub bouncer the way they're dressed. It's all quite grim and sort of imposing. You can imagine that being the villain in a game that finds you. You really can.

It's that kind of thing. And then it does a jump scare and you go, he? The whole thing almost has a sort of horror aesthetic to it, doesn't it? It does, yeah. Well, a giant maniacal face popping out of a toilet. Yes. Jibble jibbles.

But kids love it. Kids love it. They love Labubo. It's a bit of horror adjacent as well, isn't it? Because they've got fangs. They got like sharp teeth labuboos. But I just look at them and think, oh, that's where the wild things are. Yeah.

It's Max. It looks like that. Yeah, definitely. Or one of the creatures. And it's like, that's nice. I like that. It's a nice book. It's lovely.

It's one of the greatest children's, if not the greatest ever children's book ever made. To be fair, the film that was made of it was pretty pretty good too, I've never saw that. Right. Okay. Next, next. Next thing. Are you going to press the button? Yeah, I'm going to press it.

Oh, don't let me tell you to because that would impinge upon your ego. So you just take a moment and press it when you want to, okay? Like now, yeah, should I? Just there. Just do it. Don't let me tell you. you just told you just said do it all right i'm not i'm not who to do do to do do I'm whistling do to do to do too too too too I'm ashamed myself that got you and that's my arm

all about them sources all about them sources this is that thing they were talking about Maureen Hiron's quiz wrangle. Quiz wrangle, that is quite hard to say. Trivia quiz game over 4,000 questions, Britain's first trivia game. That's what it says on the box. So, it predates... Trivial Pursuit? Yeah, well, allegedly.

I mean, I don't know when this is from. Made by the design centre in London. And it's just a blue box. Do you remember the design centre? No. You're thinking of... Well, that looks like the Early Learning Centre logo, which is what I think you're getting confused by.

No, I'm not. Well, the early Learning Centre had that logo, didn't it? It was like a design museum that was in central London, and it was great. I don't know who Maureen Hyman is. Marauder Hyman. Marauder Hyman. Quoffel, quiffle. Quizwaffe.

Quiz ques ques quackle. Bogle, bobble. It's a board. I thought it was going to be a load of cards, but it's got a board. It was very basic, though. It's just a grid with some numbers running down the middle. Quite a nice aesthetic. Oh, some nice.

D8. Five. D-10s. Not D-5s. They're D-5s. Although there's two fives on each side

so I'm saying I was counting out loud. They are D-10s yeah. There's three D-10s Oh, this has got a lovely design to it, I can see. And there's little like

counters and they're just little counters. There's nothing special about them. This is nice. But they move up and down there I imagine. There's some kind of race dynamic. The rules are on the inside

of the top lid. When was this made? So, okay, so it says copyright in 1983. When the trivial pursuit came out? Way, way before. It's some kind of, it's some kind of angle

or gimmick. I'm just going to check the veracity of this claim. Trivial pursuers from the very latest, the 60s, I'd say. I thought it was 60s. No, I thought it was 70s at least. No, it's 60s. Quiz Wrangle. Oh, okay, Maureen Hyran.

I just want to know why here. I'm interested. I'm interested. She's a British game designer and international bridge player. She's best known as a developer of over 60 board games, card games, dice, word and question games. Ooh, why have I never heard of her? Her games were published through Hiron Games Limited.

Wow. She founded with her husband in 1982. Cool. Well, it just based as an 82, she formed their own company. Then that's how they released Quizwangle, Quiz Rangel and Cavendish. Is that what it's called? What's it called? What?

This game is called Quiz Rangel. So we wrangle. Moulin invented the games and Alan was the tester and editor. A game called Continuo was released on April 1st, 82, became Britain's best-selling game with around 205,000 sets sold by the end of that year. I'd like to see that. There was a 1984 documentary about them both by the BBC called A Will to Win. She was still walking about?

No, she died in 2022. Well, she was born in 1942, so good innings still. She was in hospital, and when she was there, using her fellow patients as playtesters, she developed the game called Chip In, which the company manufactured and used in the campaign to raise $25 million for the Royal Marsden, World's First Specialist Cancer Hospital. Nice. Because she was diagnosed with cancer, and that's why she was in hospital. She made a game to raise money.

Cool. However, a proper game, a giant of the British game scene, obviously. I'm just... Indy game scene, sort of. I just don't know where the claim for the first ever trivial... But perhaps it's something to do with the design concept or rules. Do you see what I mean? Perhaps it's just a gimmick line that they've...

Because it's something to do with time or something in this game. Yeah, hang on. You know what I'm getting at? Yeah, when was trivial pursuit invented? I'm going to say 1940s. The answer is 1979. Wow, that's well late. but was introduced to the US in 82.

Wow. The first edition of the game officially was 81. Which is right around the same time as this. So it would have, yeah. So the claim that it might be Britain's first might be true. But that's going to be, I think it was like a race to market things. Yeah. Funny, I am quite surprised.

And it's Canadian as well, to be fair. Paul, you would have thought with me that trivia pursuit was older than that, wouldn't you? A little bit. But I wouldn't have said 70s. I think so. Well, yeah. But even so. late 70s

It's Canadian Trivial Pursuit So this would still be Britain's first Then by that logic So fair play Let's see if we can answer Some of the questions then yeah Yeah because there is

It's like trivial pursuit And that it's got like Grouped like general knowledge Historical Geography Mythological Bible Sport Entertainment Past Times music Science

Should we play best of five I'll tell you what I'll just read you a card out See how many you can get All right Just pick one at random On the card Yeah

What is the longest Pallodromic word In the English language Oh, you're not going to get that because I didn't know it. It's one word, and it's the longest paladromic word, which means it's the same forwards as backwards. For the listener, I'm saying this. Yes.

Not just for you. I know, I know. But also, if you're interested in palindromes, latest episode of night busing, it's kind of a kind of... It's kind of a journey palindromic. Yes. It was great. That's the best aspect of it.

Anyway, what do you think the word is? Because it was the 313 bus, which is a palindromic number. It'll be available soon, end of the month, on Patreon, if you want to get on the latest night bus. All I know, Paul, is this sentence is parodromic. No rats live on evil stars. Okay.

The answer, though, to this. No rats live on evil stars. Right. No. No stars, rats, evil live on. All right. Well, that's about helping at all. The answer in this case is Redivider.

Redivider, great words, yeah. Which king was nicknamed the wisest fool in Christendom? Again, if you know this. James I first. Fuck off. From what London station do trains go to Brighton? when this game was made in 1981. Which is they go from two now.

They go from all the London Tournamentals. Like London Bridge, Victoria. I think it was originally Liverpool Street, wasn't it? No. Pick one. Victoria. Is correct. Yay.

In mythology, what happened to someone who looked into the eyes of Medusa? They turned to stone. They did indeed. Who was voted Young Footballer of the Year in 1983? So this version of the game didn't come out in 1981 then? Unless it's like a psychic. Linnaker, Gary Linnaker. No, Ian Rush.

Which fictional character is known as the Cape Crusader? Batman. Is correct. Who was Ali Baba's brother? Johnny Babber. He is correct. No, it's Kasim. Cassim Baba?

Yeah. Which French singer was known as the Little Sparrow? Johnny Halliday. It's the only one I know. Edith Piaf. Of course. And finally, how long is the heart of a giraffe? How long?

Two meters? Two feet. Can I read you questions now? Yeah, so you got two out of those eight. I should have got that Piaf one. How many questions? Was it ten or? eight. I didn't read it properly. But doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. You got two. Just read them as they come. Okay. Hey, all. Ready for your first question? I am. What is depicted on the reverse side of a two p-piece. Two p-piece, Paul? So it's got the Queen's Ender one side on the back. I don't know what it's cool, but it's like a gate or a shield

or something. It's... I'm going to need more detail than that. Oh, shit. It's just some kind of weird... You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. I mean, that's good guess, Port Collis, because I would have might have said that. It is, in fact, is the Prince of Wales's feathers. Oh, because it is the thing off the thing. But isn't it got a little great in the middle or something?

No, I think you're thinking of a different coin. I think they're one P coins, one pound coins. Okay, you're ready for your next question? Yeah. Okay. Algeria, yeah. Obtained independence in 1962. Yeah.

But from which country? From which country did Algeria gain its independence? Who were the colonial masters of Algeria? I would have got this. I don't think I would have got this. I'm not good with geography. You have a guess. It's going to be a European country, of course.

Algeria. What do they speak? in Algeria. Algerian. And Dutch, you give up. France, China. Is that in Europe? Yeah.

Oh my God, you're so thick. It's off to the side of it. I feel like I might win with two here. You know, you might do. It's France. I said France. You'd fuck off. France.

I'm going to cut that in. He's such a dick. He fucking hate you. He said France right at the star. Everyone hates this and loves sauces. Hates when you cheat like this. Yeah, well, I can. Don't.

Question three. Is it three? He didn't really say France, everyone, no matter what he does. France. You dick What is Italy's Chief Port What is Italy's chief port

Name one town in Italy Is it a town or is it a name of a port It's the name of a city Wrong Wrong wrong wrong Do you know her No I don't But if you tell her

I'll get in touch It's so tiresome So like Come on Do you know what Paul I'm glad this is the last thing Come on come on I really am

You've worn me down With your fucking shit Hurry up then All you're all I've got to do So that's all I've got to do He haven't got any yet. I know. Okay.

All right. Who won the Nobel Prize for Literature? 1953. Fucking hell. The Nobel Prize for Literature in 1950. Is this a name I'm going to know? Yes. Is it a famous writer that I should know?

I'll give you one clue, okay? All right, because I've got one name in my head. One clue. They're not primarily known as a writer. Is it Capote? No. Oh. Well done.

He won the Pulitzer. Truman Capote. But this was Winston Churchill. Really? Noble Prize for Literature, yeah. What did he win it? What did he win it? What I fucking won the fucking.

told the job fuck off. How I won the war single It must have been his autobiography or something like that. All right, yeah. So, still zero for four. That's fine.

Who won the French Open Tennis Championship in? You might get this. 1973. Now, I'd have a guess. Is it a man or a woman? I think they're going to go for the men, aren't they? Yeah.

French Open. French Open. It's a big, it's a grand slam tournament. Yeah, I know. This is one of those. I only know this person from seeing them depicted on the cover of Mad magazine.

and in Mad Magazine things. So it's not McEnroe then. No. Because that's too early for McEnroe. A little bit, yeah. And it won't be Becker because that's too early for Becker. Again too early.

And it's 73. It's not Navratilova because that's a lady. That's a lady. You won't get this. Who before that? Sampras. No, he was later than even then.

Oh, okay. That's all the tennis players. It's Aene Stasi. No, I wouldn't have gotten that. No, right. Zero so far. How many left? Looking to the mic.

I'm just looking. Oh, sorry. Don't look at the back of the card. It's upside down. Anyway, and I don't know what all you're doing it. So what did Professor Higgins teach in Pygmalion? Now, you're aware of that. Well, yeah, I know.

George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion became... Which was tame with My Fair Lady. So, he was a profession of, like, English or something like that. Let's see. I mean, you'd think so. But, like, he's a manners person as well. He teaches manners. I need more...

That's not the word I have here. Is it a profession? Like, is it, like, a profession? It's more of a sort of subset of language learning. I think phonetics. Oh, for fuck's sake. You're not going to get. No, go on.

Phonetics. Oh. You see? Because it's the pronunciation. There's all the... I think you're being very strict. I think by saying this language. No, in...

Fuck off. No, never. You'd never... No. I would have accepted that for you. No, no, no, no. I'm not going to fight it because I don't care. Right.

But I just say... You're about to get a big, fat, hairy donut. All right, okay. Well, at least I'm not cheated. We've got two more to go. Phonetics, I think. I think phonetics. Shut up.

Shut up! How many women Was John Christie found guilty of killing? Think back to the film. Yeah, I know, but it's like three or five. Would you want to have a guess? Three. Seven.

Oh. And we've got two more to go, Paul. Well, maybe I'll get these both and that'll be a draw. Go on. How did the great blues singer, Bessie Smith, die after a road accident in 19... I was literally talking about this on the radio show last night. So say the question again. Well, it says it mentions the car accident, but it says,

how did she die after the car accident? Oh, fuck. because I was going to say car accident. It's just blood loss or something. I don't know. It was like, oh no, it was because it was a racist thing because they wouldn't treat her because of the colour of her skin.

Yeah, you do get the point here. She bled to death. God, this is horrible. Oh, I was right about that as well. Well, being, yeah, that's what I'm saying. By taking to a distant black's only hospital instead of the nearest hospital. And that's what's fucking shocking about it.

One of the most soulful voices of blues. And that's how she went out. Horrendous. Hooray, point for Paul. It's bad that you had to. get it that way. I know, yeah. Yeah, she died. Blood loss because of racism. Yay, point. Now, you have a chance to draw.

I do. Now, weirdly. Go on. Which math. Oh, now, that word's not going to. This is, I'm fucked. What math I'm out. Yeah, which mathematical term means limitless. Oh, my God, you are going to draw or without end? Infinite. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, it's a draw.

It's a draw. All five. Right. Right. Uh, and that's the... Infinity. Oh, thank you, Tompe. Thank you, Tompe. Thank you, Tompe for all of that. or trap-cum squeegee. However you wish to be known to us

in the annals of this podcast. The anals of this podcast. Yes. And thank you again for sending all those goodies to us. Thank you. If you want to send stuff to us, the P.O. Box address is on our website and in the metadata for this podcast.

If you look at it on the app that you're listening to us on. What else is there? Photos of all the stuff we cover today. Yeah, actually, you know what? I need to put a break in because then I can put all the admin in that bit. I'm just saying, I'm mentioning the photo. Yeah, you're right.

And we're going to do it. But I'm just going to put it. All right. Press the fucking. If you fucking tell me It's honestly like a child See you in a bit Don't say that

Right Eli you're in charge Tell everyone Where they can do things to us Your one-stop shop For all things Cheap Show Is our podcast I forgot the magic bubbles Oh dear

Can you stop trying to fucking Undercut me When you asked me to do something please If you're interested In anything cheap show related your one-stop shop for everything we do is our website the cheap show.com.co.com.

He's blowing bubbles. He's forever blowing bubbles. He's forever blowing bubbles. Who is Michael Jackson's chimpanzee? Yeah, I'm forever blowing bubbles. How many bubbles can you catch? Magic bubbles that you can't hold. Oh, you can. I just did. I tried and it fucking burst.

Yeah, I know you've got it. I've got one in my hand, Paul. Yeah, I'm going to blow some more. Here we go. Oh, excellent. Magic bubbles. There's a lot of bubbles. A lot of bubbles. Everything in is going to be covered in little...

Ah, that's fine. Oh, it's on my face! Yeah, they're sticky. They're sticky bubbles. It must be a special formula. I bet it's well carcinogenic. Yeah, it's probably going to make your cat blind or something. You shouldn't, honestly.

Yeah, it does have a little bit more... More elasticity. Oh, it's very gooey. It's more soapy. Oh, it's quite sticky. Yeah, that's what I mean. It's going to get on everything, mate. It's going to stain your clothing.

Unscrew the lid. Lift the magic bubble wand from the tube, ensuring only surplus solution deposits back into the tube. Aim the wand in the air. and blow gently, wait for a few seconds to harden and then you can play with them and shit. Oh yeah, so they do harden. Oh, well, there you go, there's a little thing. They're like in between a soap bubble and those bubbles you get in Hamleys.

Like a cum bubble? A gum bubble, yeah. It's a cum bubble. You've got bubbles all over your head. You've got one on your glasses. Oh, right? Yes, one of the hedge of your frames. One stop shop.

Cheapshow. The cheap show.com.com. What can we find there, though, Paul, if you are interested in looking there. Nearly every single episode has a page dedicated to. it where you'll see pictures and sometimes videos that accompany the action. There's also links to just things in general, like our Patreon, our lovely patrons who have supported us all these live-long years and gotten access to all sorts of goodies, like behind the scenes, extra podcast, videos, night busing, there's a new one coming.

It's a, palindromic night busing coming. Early access to cheap shots, top tier video for the top tier supporters, exclusive cheap show content there, magazines from event and our talented fans who put their stuff into it. There's loads of things depending on what tier you join. So why don't you say give what you can but only if you can? Give what you can but only if you can at patreon.com forward slash cheap show. And if you can't support us on Patreon, try to spread the word. That's what you always say.

Spread the word. Yeah, review us on those apps or just retweet us when you see us or on Instagram. Spread the muck. That's just tell the world how good we are. We're also every episode now is on YouTube and it gets uploaded there the same Friday as the podcast. So you can indeed enjoy it on that interminable platform. Well, that interminable platform is what I watch all day long. And we're going to be making some more episodes tomorrow, I believe.

I'm making a fresh batch of cheap shots. Good. And that's it. Right. Cool. See you next week. Then no fuck it about. That bubble is still on the side of your fucking frames.

You've got two bubbles right on the side of your air, which makes you like you got little horns. Ooh, I do. I've got the horn. I don't. No. Well, I've got a quaffle on and I need to quaffle it. I need some scraping on my knob cheese off. Right.

And well, there we go. Once again, we've emptied out the thoughts. I've handed out my sack. Ah, we'll cry. And we'll see you next week. I've spunked. Mate, come on. At least pretend to put some effort in.

Oh my God. I can't, I won't take that from you. I've fucking prepared a whole thing about sources and stuff. And it was the worst part of this week's episode. I'm going to hack it to bit. All proper source report fans get in touch the best segment of the show. Yeah, please email the cheap show at gmail.com and I will quickly delete those messages. from Eli's knowledge.

Right, can we go now? Can we go? Because that means you leave my out. It's what it comes out to. We're going to watch on cinema, aren't me? Oh yeah, we're going to watch you on cinema. And then you can fuck right off. I'll see you tomorrow anyway.

But I'll see you guys next week. Bye. Bye-bye. Thank you.