CheapShow - Ep 467: The 7th Annual Office Christmas Party

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

As 2025 prepares its end, Paul and Eli turn their attention to the big yuletide knees up… The Office Christmas Party! For their 7th boozy do, Paul wants to do something a little different, at least to start! They head out to a little village pub and get a few drinks in early, before attempting to get back to “La Maison Hantee Sur La Colline A Harrow” for the party proper. To make things a little more classy than usual, Gannon’s hired a (very expensive) Butler to serve the drinks and snacks. Although “Jarvis” seems lovely enough, Eli is horribly embarrassed by Paul’s bullying treatment of the poor old man! It’s the epic (near 3 hour!!) final episode of the year packed with dodgy booze, weird Xmas themed snacks, trivia stuffed Christmas Crackers, a few boxes full of amazing presents, rants, arguments, laughs and a healthy dose of scatological nonsense! Get cosy, turn on your Christmas Tree lights and join Paul & Eli for their mammoth Office Christmas Party 2025!! See you next year! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-467-the-7th-office-xmas-party Or listen to our other “OXP” episodes: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-415-6th-annual-office-xmas-party https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-363-5th-annual-office-xmas-party https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-313-4th-office-xmas-party-part-two https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-312-4th-office-xmas-party-part-one https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-261-3rd-annual-xmas-office-party https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-209-2nd-annual-office-xmas-party https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-107-the-office-xmas-party www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

And... Oh, mate, glad you got here. How you doing, mate? I'm not going to be pretend with you that we haven't been walking together. This is already, I want to say something, okay? Okay? How dare you fuck my intro. The intro's meant to be Christmas music, Christmas music fades into this bit. Oh, hello, mate, it's our Christmas point.

Instantly right out the gate. Daddy shit the bed takes a big crap on Paul Gannon's heart. Night's yeah daddy shit the bed Cracked on my Christmas message Go on what do you want to say? Oh I'm tired My two fucking broke off I feel like shit It's cold, it's wet

This year's been fucking horrendous And I just wanted to say to everyone Thanks for listening to the podcast Everybody and we're going to have You know, a Christmas I am desperate I am, yeah Projection much

Look at his face Look at his face! That was the face of a man who knows he's been caught out projecting. Anyway, it's the office Christmas party, everybody. Hey, you're like this. Oh, hello, Paul.

You're standing there. You're scaring people who are walking past us. You're scaring them. Right, can we calm down now? Yeah, they do. They're petrified because there's an angry screaming man. There's an angry screaming man. They're scared of your energy vibe, my friend.

Anyway, I just wanted to say there's a club where people can, get together and call, play rummy cub. Have you ever played a game of rummy cup? I don't even know what rummy cup is. Romney Cobb is the classic tile game that blends, strategy, luck and quick thinking. Oh, it's perfect for players of all ages. Arrange numbered tiles into runs and groups would be the first to clear your rack.

So I guess it's a bit like... Sounds like Gin Rummy. Gin Rummy. It must be where it comes from. Anyway, to £2 each to join guest entry, or you can become a member. And I think they've missed a trick by not calling it Rummy Club. Oh, Gin Rummy. Yeah. Romney Coole. You just got it.

Yeah. It's definitely a sort of tile version, like a domino version of the card game, Rummy. Like a bit of that and a bit of Scrabble almost as well. No Scrabble. There's nothing like Scrabble. Yeah, you've got to get rid of them. I mean, only in a very basic way. Paul's right. Paul's right. No, shut up.

Anyway, look. It's not like... Can I just make this clear? It's not like Scrabble at all, everyone. It's exactly like Scrabble with numbers. Just so you know. No, it's not. Anyway, look. Ho, ho, ho. Ho. Merry Christmas. It's our last episode.

of 2025 and I thought we'd start our Christmas party right with a little tiny mini pub crawl and by mini tiny I mean one pub one pub is that a pub crawl or a pub not haven't not learnt to crawl yet and just shit and I'm daddy shit the bed it's a club pregnancy it's before it's been born club pregnancy yeah put up the club can I join that club with your gut mate you look like you're pregnant anyway I'm anyway I didn't attack you all I did was I a little bit of vulnerability at the beginning, you projected on me and now I'm under attack. Projection much? Could you be any more, Chandler? Do you want to do that?

No, you project. Anyway, I've taken Eli to the lovely little village of pin her on the whibble. And we're going for a drink in a lovely... Pin her on the pin, you idiots. Pinner on the wibble. Where's the wibble river? Your mouth... My mouth is the wibble. Pinner on the wibble.

Pinner on the wibble. we've gone straight to dick mode so notice we're gonna go and have a quick pint in a lovely local village pub get the atmosphere going oh it's kind you know it is quite christmasy around here at the top of the road I think it's a cemetery oh yes I think it's a cemetery how apt why I mean we have visited the grave this year already haven't when we went to fucking that nunned head or whatever it was yeah yeah A riddle with death. Maybe it's an omen that one of us will pop off next year.

I hope it's you. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Thanks, good much. Anyway, look, everything's been fucking shit this year. I agree with you. The news is continuously miserable to look at. My two fell off.

My two fell off. But fucking hell. Local newspaper, a local fucking website, whatever it is. Partner tells me about it. Some fucking guy breaking into houses, fucking drugging them and then robbing their houses while they're drugged. here? Round here.

And it's like fucking hell. So... Has you murdered any? No, no, no, no. It's not like that. I think it's just robbery. Why haven't they caught them yet? I don't know. It's only just happened. There's only been a few cases the last few nights.

In what paper was it? No, it was website. Harrow, local online or whatever it is, I don't know. Yeah. But one of those website ones where you get all the pop-ups. Yes. Terrible local news sites. All right, Jasper Carrie.

Don't want to do fuck anything more insightful observation or something. I'm making it sound real, Paul. Fuck. Stop being loud in this lovely, quiet, Christmas-y, Crimble village. Paines Lane Cemetery is. Oh, that's a nice one, isn't it?

Yeah. Nice little one. Well, we're not going to go in there. We're going up this way, mate, because we're going to go to the little village pub and have a Christmas drink. Oh! And after you've had a Christmas drink,

we're going back to my place because Le Manscheon U Haunted Koule an hill Harrow on the hill. Are you sorry? Excuse me? Mansion, phantom mansion. Oh, Harrow.

A taro unclear. Paul, hang on, Paul. Do you want me to... Is it ambulance time? Is it called the ambulance time for you? I'm not stroking out if that's what you're implying, no. Anyway, I'm going back to my gaff and I've made it all posh. How do you made it posh?

Christmas tree? Christmas tree, lights, presents, drinks, snacks. And also, to make it very special this year. I've hired, right, online thing. This guy, it's basically like a shet, a, what's the word? A butler. A butler for the night. his name. Now, it's not his real name, but his name is Jarvis.

Sex business. No sex business. Like, bumhole, like access, easy access to the oil. Do you know, I actually was kind of getting... Easy bumhole access. Easy bumhole. This year, but he is dead. Hey, do you know how he died? Fucking probably in his car somewhere. Well, it involved when they found...

Auto-erotic asphyxiation. Yeah, but he was using everything in his car to get himself off. They reckon they used... He said he used bungee rope and tied it to the clutch and every time he revved the engine it would choke him a little bit. That's it.

And then he revved too much and he stroked out and put his foot down hard. Merry Christmas, everyone. Anyway, sexy Santa's dead now. Is this it? No, this is just someone's house. It's nice, big house.

It's like Kevin McAllister's an home alone almost. A little bit when you think about it. I don't like, it's characterless. Yeah, it is. You know what I mean? A little bit soulless. I'm sure it's very lovely.

I'm sure it's got a nice big Christmas tree. Should we rob it like over? I don't ever be able to... Let's rob it like Home Alone and pray there's a kid inside who's into booby traps. That'd be good, because we'd be good villains

in a Home Alone movie. Why would we? Because you'd be like the Joe Pesci one and I'd be the Daniel Stern one. And what else has Daniel Stern been in? Oh, loads of things like Dinah. Home Alone too. And Home Alone too?

No, he has been in loads of stuff though. Anyway, so yeah, we've got this butler. It's Jarvis. It's not his real name, but you know, like it's a character. So he's going to be Jarvis. Jeeves? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeeves, you know, Mr. Winterbottom or whatever his name is. But he's Jarvis, anyway. So he will be getting us drinks throughout the night. He'll be looking after us, preparing meals.

That sounds weird, man. Very posh, elderly gentleman. But he's serving us all tonight. So that's something to look forward to. He's getting my flat ready for us now. What? How much you pay it? For our Christmas party, about 500 quid for an hour. What? Five hundred quid an hour, yeah. That's not cheap show. This is coming out of my bank account, mate. Why? Because we've had a shit. It's been. a tough year and I wanted to liven things up a little bit oh look we're coming back into pinner now pinner on the Wimble and there's a pub

just around the court at Wimble I think when you hear me re-edit this you'll hear it say Wimble Oh God I'm sick of you and you'll re-edit I have to have God-like control over this podcast There's a bunch of Brewers Tudor over there Oh oh is that original Tudor

That even might be original Chudor It looks doesn't it? It looks at that look doesn't it? Oh, that's great. Church Farm, Private Drive. Yeah. Great album. I bet that does go back to Tudor. Parts of it.

It's an old village, this area. Obviously, we'd have a fat roof originally. Yeah, fat roof. There's all sorts of Mock Tudor or Brewers. But that's probably real. That's Mock. Yeah, that's Mock. That's real.

Two different Tudors. Anyway, mate, the pub's just around the corner. Can I get you a drink? What would you like? Half of Guinness. and a Whiskey Famous grass

Single famous grass Please or whatever they got Well we'll go in and find out Well ladies and gentlemen Boys or Girls of All Ages Once again It's the Office Christmas Party And you'll invite along

To listen in with us this year And the year 2025 Now let's get Coase and get a drink And we'll see you After this bit of Christmas music Seeing a bit everyone I've said it

I said it I didn't even mean to say Because I had a good out then You obviously did mean to say because you said it. You mean everything you say, don't you, Paul? Don't you pull? Runny club.

Cummy rub. Runny rub. Runny cub. Yeah, I'd like to join the runny club. All down your chest. Cummy rub. Anyway. I thought runny club.

Runny cum club. I've got a runny nub. You want to get that scene to. Welcome to the Christmas office party 2025. Yay. Great. Well, here we are, outside the... Where is it?

What's it called? Queen's head. Queen's head in Pinner on the Wimble. I'll tell you what, I wish the Queen would give me head before she died. Oh, I wish I... I mean, you could dig her up. I wish someone would put your knob in.

Nick, Nick, no, she's cremated, wasn't she? Fuck her ashes. Oh, spunk on the Queen's ashes. Splashes on her ashes. I'm never going to return to America ever again. No. Check our feed and go, not loud, though, man. So we bought a few little drinks and we're having a nice little chat.

Eli thought he saw snow, even though he saw snow, even though he didn't. It was snow, but very light. It's a wintry... Wintry. Look at that. They've got a Christmas tree jutting out over the... Up the Jaffer.

Now, up the jaffer, yes. There's a sign here that says a half-pint history. What does half-pite mean? It's like a bottled history or a truncated. A truncated history. Half-pite, say it's not the full-pite history.

It's the half-pint. I thought it was alluding to the fact that maybe this public... called the half pint at one point but no it's the long story short and gone the queen's head is pinner's oldest inn record show that has been an inn on this site since 1540 although there is a theory in 1540 that there was an alehouse here a theory that there was a theory on ale there was an alehouse here reiterating theory when king edwards potatoes the third sign the royal charter to create pinner's annual fair in 1313

So they might even be older than that. During the 16th and 17th centuries, the inn was and is called the crown and was called the crown. And only in 1750 was it renamed to the Queen's Head. There's another sign over there. I'm going to read that one because I haven't got my glasses. Queen's Head. It's another sign.

This is like one of those national heritage or something at once. Harrow Heritage Trust, the Queen's Head, Pillar's oldest inn. 16th century called the Crown. 17th century, yeah, renamed the Queen's Head, 18th century. I like this Harrow Heritage Trust. Yeah, it's nice. I'm not getting back to our table

because people nick our stuff You never know mate I tell you there's been robberies and stuff around there lately and stuff it's not good Yeah but that's all like Jarvis has been messaging me He says when are we coming back

Everything's ready I don't want to be around Some weird old guy Paul We can we can bully him about And treat them like you know Like they do on Gosford Park Or Downton Abbey or whatever I'm not into that mate

You are let's boss someone about I boss you about it feels good Let Paul Gannon boss you about £5 an hour And then I can shout Do this, do that Yeah, but I'm paying that Don't worry about it

Fucking, I don't know what I don't understand I really have to have to have two hours And it's a grand So that's not too bad, is it? I nicked it from the money made From the Stuart's film, didn't I? Right

Does it? Yeah I said to Stuart I need to borrow a bit of money And Stuart went All right, no questions, just take it And I went, thank you, Stuart. And then I used the money to buy Jarvis.

All right, then. Anyway, we're in this lovely pub, and we're having a drink. What drink did you get? I had a single bullet bourbon. It's a widely available commercial bourbon. It's not the most outstanding of bourbons, but it goes down mighty easy. Mighty, mighty easy. Like, allegedly the Queen did.

The Duke of Pork, she used to call it. husband. Oh yeah. Come over here, the Chook of pork. And he would say, yes, your fadjusty. Your vajistee. Fad, no, fadgesty, because he was Greek. I don't know why that makes a difference. We've got a Christmas tree over there and the lights are up. It's a, you know, Christmasy, isn't it?

Yeah. Christmas office party. It's Christmasy. So I had a single bourbon, bullets and I've got, I'm working my way through a nice, half of Guinness. Because I'm working my way back to you, girl. With a burning love inside. With a bourbon drink inside. I'm spanking my way off.

Your chaffney. On a chaffney ridge. Cheese knobs. Nice, no good stuff. No, as I said earlier, very tired and I'm in a down, a down mood. No, boo. Oh, here goes my phone again. I'm going to tell people what I drink,

because I'm interested to tell people. I had a passion fruit martini cocktail from the tap in the pub. Classy man. And that's what I'm enjoying. It was too sweet. I'm just going to finish it off now. Hmm. Tre manifier.

Oh, that had a really bitter note right at the end, weirdly. A really sour note, the last one. It's probably because the citrus is separated out. Yeah. Right, let's have another drink then. Drink, drink, drink. Do you have one more here? Do you want another one?

Sure. Or do you want to go pick up the shop and do that? Let's go do pick up. Yes, do it. I can't do the 10th anniversary drinking again, mate. Don't make me. Don't make me. I did bad things.

I'm counting your drinks. I did bad things that night. Bad things. He did. I'm still apologising for bad things. The point was you had alcohol poisoning and he weren't right for another week after that. Almost a week of feeling like the worst I felt in most of my life. That wasn't, you know, a genuine illness.

Yes. It's what's known as alcohol poisoning. and we are not going to go near that. We're going to get tipsy, silly, drunk and maybe a little bit flirty drunk where Paul excels. He'll be touching, you're knobbing at midnight or so. You always say this.

I don't think there's any appetite for us to actually get off in the listenership anymore. They've gone past that. It's just you that keeps holding a torch, holding a torch for you. I owe my torch, mate, for you. Yes. My flaming torch.

Your spunky torch. No, but, and also the other thing I'd like to say to you, if you're incessant, why don't we snog? Why keep you saying I'm into incest? You keep saying this. My incessant knob.

That doesn't mean... I saw you give up on that joke halfway through. I am no PJ Proby, mate. How dare you? Now... He put the probe and proby. I know that for a fact. I've seen that clip.

Yeah. Actually, when you described it to me, I've seen it before. Oh, no, I saw it on Millard, didn't I? Actually, can I just say to all the listeners, if you don't already follow the Fantastic Stuart Millard's video channel Frantic Planet on YouTube, please do. Is it called Frantic Planet? His handle is online or whatever.

But anyway, I just want to say thank you to Stuart, because he helped me out this weekend with a radio situation. I asked to get some audio from him. Milard? Yeah, and he helped me out so I could use it on the radio show. So thank you, Stuart, for helping me out over a sticky weekend. Yeah. I wanted the specific clip that he'd used in one of his videos,

but I didn't find the original source, and he found it for me. So thank you, yes, but when are we going to get him on the show then? If you were in contact with him, let's get him when he wants to. I've said it's an open door. It brings some choice clips in or something, you know? Well, it's on his terms. There's a lot of people we need to thank before we close this episode up, so we'll spread it out.

There are a lot of people to thank him. Spread what out? Spread my muck out. Spread my muck over your, top lip. Spread my filth. Spread a thin layer of fucking Gannon's manchavy cream all over your top lip, and then you'll be like, I've heard of Dairy Lee before,

but not Dairy Ely before. It wouldn't be Gannon's Manchovey Crem, would it? Silverman's tip paste or something. No, good. Very good. I thought you were going to have bum that. Hey, bum this. We should tell we went to a charity shop. We got a few records.

Shall we go through those? No, very quickly. What do we get? I got no jacket required. Tell them about the new charity shop up here. I've mentioned it in the podcast before. Gratuity, is it called? Something like that, yeah.

Graciousness. Something like that. Or gracious. There must be a local... It's not called gratuity. I can't remember. That's a tip. Yeah, but it kind of is, isn't it?

Can you don't... No, it's gratitude, it's called. Oh no, it was gratitude, yeah, thank you. So it's a charity shop and it's brand new open, but it's like it's one of our favourite types where it looks like you're crawling through someone's attic or storage. It's pure thrift store junk shop. It's got the junk shop aesthetic. Yeah. As opposed to on the other end of the spectrum, the funkless corporate Oxfams with their rose...

with their rows of... Shelter boutiques. I've picked up some really nice things in there, so I'm not going to diss them. I've got those... Did you see my Adidas? My vintage Adidas I got the other day. 16 quid. Good.

And that's raincoat? Oh, yeah. That's the same trespass, the same brand as your lovely grey one. That was also in a shelter boutique in Muswell Hill. So if you do like, good quality clothing, Shelter boutique are okay. No, this is not a complaint about them.

And also they don't like that vibe. No, I do. But also, let me just say. Can I just say? It's not political podcast, everyone. But can I just say? I must interrupt you. Basically, there's a funk spectrum when it comes to charity shops.

One end, you have the corporate Oxfams with their rows and rows of not even secondhand chocolate and mooming. Moomin branded, overpriced crap. And also, I know because my dad works in an Oxfam. bookshop, that they have a policy that if the books are in any way aged, even if they're pristine, but they're just a little bit yellow. They sell them to other charities. They won't have them on their shelves. Because they don't have, unless they're an antique of some sort, you know.

And that's ridiculous. Yes. And then so the funk is... Your dad should fight, resign. They were going to go on strike, you know, the people who got paid by Oxman. Anyway, what I'm saying is they've got that dry corporate nasty at one end of the spectrum. And then you've got gratitude in Pinner at the very other end of the... the funk spectrum. Nothing's priced in there.

Everything's higgledy biggledy. They had a backroom full of crap and I got, oh yeah, show them my thing. I show them my thing. I'll like calm down. So I got a few records. I got a Christmas album, which you might even hear in this week's episode. I got Phil Collins no jacket

required. What are the hits off that one? Studio for start. Is that off that one? Yeah, yeah. That's his best. Yeah. And then you got a little record, didn't you? Callance him out of space. It is called Clowns him out of space. from outer space and it's from 1979. I've never heard of it, but both of us. By Rocky Burnett or something? Rocky Burnett? Which sounds like a rock and roll guy,

sounds like a hillbilly guy. So it might be Rockabilly? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, late Rockabilly because it's 79, but... the edge of the night Like While in outer space You scrub my heart across the galaxy And in my universe you place

One endless melody And like a foolish kid. And like a foolish kid, Oh, from home your love kept leading me on Leading me all Oh So I might as well Admit to myself

Your love is gone Do you think This was the inspiration For killer clowns from outer space Which was... And that was kind of an independent thing, wasn't it? made by special effects guys. The Chodo Brothers.

The Chodo Brothers, right. But they, were, did they know about this? Who knows? Who knows? I've never seen, when I've seen little docus on YouTube about that film, they never mention this record. No, but also, also, though, you got to remember that that film is specifically like, like riffing on 50s B-movie tropes purposely, right?

So maybe that's what this does as well. It's doing the same thing. Yeah. It's just a different source. Because, you know, it's not the most, it's at some point, someone will come up with the idea of aliens that look like, clowns that come from out of space. Would they?

Yeah. I think so. I think at some point in history. Not aliens. Why clowns? They just happen to look like aliens. That's a gimmick, isn't it? Suggesting the idea that maybe clowns on Earth have taken inspiration from the alien overlords.

Food of the gods and all that ship. I've never seen it before. And it's got the EMI red and brown company sleeve and it has, looks unplayed. Right. And then... What's next? Well, no, let's just get... I've got to have a record, did you?

Did you? Oh, I got a honk? Honky tonk one. You got a honky tonk one. I got Red Box. Yes. How does that song go, the Red Box song? For America?

Yeah. Huddly. Hiddley, Hiddley, Ha, Hidalie. It's Celtic rock. Is it? In America. Coolerai, Lurai, Lurai, Lurai. It says Lurallai, Urila, Y.

It's one of those Uralai, USA. In America. I've got, hey, Paul, let me just... Your Ely. Yeah, you're Eli. I was going to say something about urine or urethra. No, but you're Eli. I know, Urily, Urila, Yoriliah, Yorila, Yorila, Yorila, Yorila.

It doesn't say that in there. It does. I'll play it to you later. Alright. So, but then this is what Eli got excited about, because we saw a little toy box area full of toys and board games. Vintage. Yeah, so I'll let Eli play with it.

Hang on, what's this one? Yeah, that's my other one. Oh, that's the other one. What was that? That is Casey and the Sunshine Band. Give it up. With Sound Your Funky Horn. funky horn, one of their very early ones from 79, and is funky.

Hey, do you know what I would listen to the other day? George Clinton's computer games album. Have you ever heard it? No. It's like, imagine it's music, but through a kind of Moogie, electronica synth. Oh, you mean he didn't make it? No, he did. He made it?

Yeah, but all the music is like exactly what, oh, it's a big fucking coach. Like 8 bit? No, more like Moogie, synthy, electronica kind of thing. And it's like, so it's kind of like his usual style, but just all the instruments. electronic out. It's a gimmick for this album, but it's very good. Is it recent? No, it's like 81, 82. Anyway, Elyke, talk about this. This is a transformer's, uh, pencil case, two-sided pencil case in the classic vibe. Look at that. It has a little window that you can see the, um, shavings. The pencil sharpener in it.

Because it has all these buttons in it. I don't know. It has all these buttons and contraption. It pops out if you press this button here. Yeah. It's full of like the secret And it still has it in. Oh my God, it's so cool. Look at that, you flip the lid. There'll be pictures on our website and Instagram if you want to see any of the things we're taking pictures off for this week's episode.

Our final of the year, our office Christmas part, and it's got a little eraser holder on the side tray that comes out. Listen to this action, everyone. Nice. Do the other buttons. Oh, look at that. That's where you put rubbers or something, maybe.

Fucking, there's so many compartments on this. This is like... It's a good pencil case. And it's got that vinyl, soft, you know? Padded thing. It's padded, but this isn't actually as padded as, because feel it. It's quite hard. Oh, no, yeah, you're right.

This must be like a retro thing they're built. This can't be like 50 years old. Little calendar. Well, no, because it uses the modern Transformers logos and stuff. What the fuck's that? It's a little calendar. You roll it. No, it's a calculator, isn't it?

No. Like a maths calculator? No. Is it? Anyway, Eli's very impressed. But basically... Look, you open here. Here's a pen holder.

chunk chunk and there's a sticker there it goes up and it arches the penholder so the pens are easy accessible so anyway I've got those albums in that pencil case and I basically they gues to make the price and I paid five quid for all of this so well done us this people would pay at least 10 for this online yeah oh so cool well Eli's happy listen mate let's let's get let's go back because I think Jarvis I think Jarvis wants us to come home I don't care what he wants you know I don't think you should have wasted that money and I don't think it was a good idea, all right?

Well, you'll feel the benefit we don't have to get up and stand up. How are you going to justify that? What a grand? We haven't spent a grand on anything, on the whole 10-year period of this fucking podcast. That's not true. How much do you think the flights cost us to L.A. that time? I mean, maybe when you put it like that, yeah, we could have gone back to L.A. or something,

but... Instead of having some weird old guy serving us drinks in your house. Anyway, don't knock it till you've had him. Tried him. Had it. Don't knock it. What? Is there a sex, Nick? Not for you Oh, I see

We've got to walk back We've got to head back to ours Let's not corrupt at all Let's go back to ours now anyway Because You've paid some old man to Josh you off Not for the first time Oh is that a record shop over there

No, no Let's go look in there All right we're looking there Listen we're heading back And Jarvis will have the house Ready for us for the party So let's continue, shall we Okay

Continue a Oh, ho-ho Oh Oh Come Landlord Phil the flowing bowl until the death run over. Come, landlord, fill the flowing bowl until the dust run over.

For tonight we'll marry, marry me. For tonight we'll marry, very be. For tonight we'll marry, marry me. Tomorrow we'll be sober. The man who drinks just what he likes and gets his pups, he's over. He who drinks just what he likes and gets at pups, he's over. We'll live until he die, perhaps, we'll live until he die perhaps, we'll live until he died perhaps.

And then lie down in clover, landlord fill the flowing bowl until the death run over. Do you want to update them? Hello, everyone. We're updating you now. We are standing by a bus stop in Pinner on the Wimbles. It is. Bus stop at sea. T.J. Jones.

Oh my gosh. Just... TG Jones. From nowhere. From nowhere. No reference to anything. Just... No logo.

It's just blue, white font. I hate the font as well. It's boring. The font is defund. Is it just meant to sort of remind you that it was Double H. Smith before? Basically, I think that's it. They couldn't keep the name because W.H. Smith is still existing in the stations.

I don't, I don't know. No, they're still going to have stores in some stations. No, you're right, but I don't understand why they just didn't keep the name full stop. Because it's a different company that now owns the TG Jones stores. Yeah, but wouldn't you just for continuity sake and for brand high street sake? You can't. You can't have two separate fiscal entities. No, but that's what I'm saying.

Why doesn't the company just buy the... It's not uncommon for a company to buy something and then keep its name. Yeah, but then what were the shops that in the stations call themselves? Double H. Smith. Everything still called D. No, they're not different company, though. No, they're not. The company that owns Double H. Smith and T.G. Jones are the same.

Oh, are they're just keeping the double H Smith's ones for the ones at at airports and train stations. Because it's more... Idiots. For some nebulous reason. Ho, ho, ho. Do you know what I've got? You know what I've got for?

This bus should be here by now. He's walking around. He's having a nice chat with his mum or something. Whatever. He works hard. No, he doesn't. He drives a bus. I can do that.

I'll drive two buses. Why don't you? You make more money? Why don't you do any job? Because what's the point? I've already got like three. Thanks. What's the point of serving?

What? People. Being part of the public consciousness and community. No, just serving billion. Helping a brother out. What would I do? What are you going to do? Oh, is the Eli replacement, yeah.

No, no, no, I'll just rebrand it. And it'll be rich show with Paul Gannon. And every week I buy the most expensive things. Yeah, Jarvis, maybe I'll keep him on. He's going to be so lame. Jarvis doesn't mess about. Oh, he's very good at his job. I bet his voice is so lame.

He read his CV and his voice said it was great, all right? He said he had a great voice. What, on his CV? Yeah. Well, of course. I mean, on my CV, it says I've got a giant dick. I mean, why did your CV say, I've got, that's why you don't get a job. Because the first thing it says is Eli, age 50, giant dick.

And then like, between 1996 and now, this is a big blank head. I'm getting head hunted. I'm getting helmet hunted. You're like, that's not head hunting. Come on, fall. Come on. Do you mean by head hunting? Do you mean your penis is so small

they have trouble finding it in your pants? No, I mean it's so big. Where is it? Oh, it's been head hunted. Helmet hunted. Helmet hunted. Oh, here comes the bus. It's coming around now.

Finally deems to get off of his phone. How rude. Can you go further out from here? No, this is as far as it goes, the 183. The 183, but there's other buses that go further out from here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the H-12 and whatnot. So most of the ones on here are small loop routes. yeah the 183 is a massive proper route though isn't it yeah all the way the gold is green

anyway look here we go we're getting on the bus to gold is green now that's is fun but we're getting off it what else do we need ice ice that's it you haven't got any trays i don't i don't even if let's buy a bag of ice at home to be fair have you got any snacks yes i've got loads of snacks thank you there we go mate i keep saying jobs has got it all Look at this. Eve bussing. This is what it is, mate, Eve bussing.

Eve busing. Eve busing. Eve busing. I have an ingestion. Do you? Yes. Well, that's good news, isn't it? Not good.

Who? For who? For me? Because it's funny. Because I'm in pain? Yeah. That and that's... This is the podcast you support, everyone. Is it?

Not everyone supports us, some people just listen. I guess that's supporting us. Yeah. I want your money. Here we go. In a library. Pinner library. Nice.

If you go by the tube, though, you go from Harrow on the Hill. And the next one is North Harrow, but it's actually west of Harrow and the Hill. Yeah, none of that makes sense. You know what I mean? I wouldn't even try and make sense of the geography of Pinner or Harrow or Paro. Poor Hina. Just to balance that out. What else is on this album?

Oh, I've got nausea man, rising nausea. Studio, only you know and I know. Do you know that one? No, see, it's the only bloody tune on the whole album. Long, long way to go. Do you know what? That one? No. I don't want to know.

Do you know that one? No. One more night? Yes. Yeah, everyone knows one more night. Give me just one more night. Oh no. Don't lose my number.

That's another one he releases a single, isn't it? Yes, but I can't recall the tune. Who said I would, is the next track. Ray of Lane. Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? God, you know what I saw that video breakdown of Phil Collins's album? It's all about his divorce, yeah. It's like, come on, Mike, you need to get over it.

Inside Out and then take me home. No, no, no, no. But this is like the big album, to the one that sold it's it's a lovely condition that's in great condition i got it for what four quid no a quid a decent yeah it's what it's a very you know it's not hard to get older one eight three oh there's merge oh look at that look at that that's nice there's a there's a football scarf it's a what do they call that a flyer there's a there's a collins merch flyer from the from the era that's nice look at that dad

Jacket for fishing in the cold or something. Oh mate, look at that. It says body warmer. Jacket. It is a body warmer. Basketball shirt. I'd have that. Big jumper, please.

Look at the Phil Collins football scarf. I know. Why would you? I mean, that'd be cool, wouldn't it? It actually just says scarf. I'll go for a body warmer person. He's on the back. Oh, order for.

That's such a... Oh, I tell you what, I know times are changing pricing stuff, but like if I wanted to get it. I wanted to get the body warmer, how much of that cost me? The jacket is 25. Well, there's no jacket required, so I'm not going to have that. Thank you, mate. That's a great gag.

Adrian Hopkins Merchandising. London P-O-box, 4-1-something or other. I can't read it because I've got my glasses on. London M-W-1. Up around here. No, W1A. Oh, no, Dan, in the West End. W-A-4-A-Y.

A-Y-A. West End. That's central. And you can put a little sticker on for your stamp cut it off and say please rush me that's very nice no jacket required that's a very nice thing i would actually write on this actually jacket required please stop stop next stick that back in there i'm sticking it back in oh and you've got the actual inner sleeve liner notes as well very nice that's a good copy has to be said

see i've got it for a quid look there he is he's got his sneakers on uh those are converts aren't they? Yeah. Good for conversation. I don't know what I'm doing. Just talking shit. You do. You do talk shit.

Oh, those are those nice greenhouses. Is that right? Yeah. It's in the dark. Someone who listens to us lives in one of those or nearby. Hello there. We're going past your house if you're listening.

Did they still listen? I hope so. Otherwise, you know, whatever. Pina new cemetery. Oh, there's another cemetery. There's lots of graves around here. Yeah. A lot of old people.

Oh, that's good, isn't it? So what do we need? before we can go inside. Ice. Oh, that's it. Fire station. I think we might have a broken bag of it still. If you're not too fussy.

I'm not that fussy. We're not going to need that much. We're not. We might be all right, then. All right. And this is the red box, the circle, and the square album. Which you're interested in. Well, I like the Tron for America.

Do they have any other albums? I think they have quite a few. You see a lot of their stuff, I think. Two. Gold is green. So here we are. We're going through North Arrow. Southfield Park.

Nice. Is this North Fair, right? Yeah. Oh, that drink's gone right to my head. Yeah. It's gone to my belly. Oh, you got...

Well, you should know about the Guinness. The Guinness is going to curdle you. It's nice. It is. Guinness is lovely. Well, don't worry. Jarvis has got snacks. Is he?

Yeah. He's got crisps and snacks and bites. We're all good. Bites with things in. Yeah. He's got... He's got crisps or something out of us. Golders Green.

Station Road. Fabs, chicken shot. For everyone. I'm surprised that tickled you as much. That is tickled me. Fabs. Fire away. That's where I get my pizzas from.

They are nice. I like fire away. Do I tell you I had Dominoes in the States last time? No. An absolute travesty. Barely peaches. It was just terrible. It's hard to describe. It's just tasteless cardboard. It was horrible, not enough cheese, not enough tomato, the bread was, you know.

Sure you didn't go to Papa Johns? No. Just Papa John's is that? No, it was... Bland. Yes, that's here though. It's very different. No, they say it's bland over there. What, Papa John's as well, yeah, dominos are inedible. Two, Golders Green. But at least Fireway are like decent pizzas.

They're nice, very nice. Very cheesy. Ooh. Now I want pizza. pizza. It's really easy to get you on to wanting pizza. Peter is my weakness. It's like you could persuade me to do a lot of things for pizza.

But I won't do that. Oh yeah. A short time for a change of drivers to take place. That's you. You've brought this bad luck on us by projecting your fucking sense of futility onto my career. No, because there's a bus stop over here and also your career is quite useless. Point useless. Two, gold as greed.

It only exists by the efforts of others. And you know it. Such a ticket. Come on then. That's not true. You're not a proactive person. This isn't, but that... Whatever.

Here we go. You know what? Let's wrap this party up with your end of year evaluation. I'm your boss. No, no. You can fuck off. How do you think you're you end this year? What on Cheap Show?

Yeah. How did you perform? I was to finally one. That's not what I'll report, so. No, but you're getting these reports, you idiot. Yeah, I'm right. them. I was also the cool one. No. I was the funny cool one. What do you think was the highlight of your year? What do you think was the highlight of your year then? What? In terms of cheap show? In terms of this year, what was your highlight gone? Just sort of every time I say something that's really funny. You see, I've got quite the contrary written down here. Written down? Why? You're obsessed with me? It just says a blathering gobshike here. Can't fire me then. I can't fire you. You're an idiot. Because you've got a gold man cuff

contract. Exactly, so yeah. Anyway, judging by... That bit went well, Paul. No, wait. No, no, no, it's been brilliant. I haven't finished. Oh, he hasn't finished everyone.

Here's the next bit. Eli, where'd you see yourself in... That's not what you ask me. You don't ask me that if I'm in a job. Where do you see yourself for two years? I'm doing a job interview. That's when they asked me that. What are your ambitions for the next two years?

I'm not doing a job interview now. I'm not doing a job interview. So what you're saying you don't have any aspirations? Keep being the fun. Money work. Let me just write this down. No aspirations or ambition. Okay, good.

Check that off. What do you think was your weakest points this year? What you need to try harder on next year? I've got it written down, be funny and cohesive. I would like you to be both of those things. Cohesive? You don't even know what that fucking word is. That's actually coming from Mr. Blather, man.

I'd quite like you to shut up. You got that this year. Fuck it all. Seeing you squirm on the end of it. That was great. Everyone loved it. Yeah, because it was funny to hear you squirm. They loved it because I got a chance to finish my points.

Mate, you know, this lie you tell yourself where you're constantly nipped away at and only like restricted and censored. And it's like so not true. Are we in this interview thing that you made up anymore? Yeah, this is still the job, if you end of year job interview. Shut your dirty hole. Who was I looking up and was still alive? John Steinman.

Jim Steinman, yeah. Well remembered. Well, you know, that's what I've got on before me, Eli, bad memory. It's got that written down here as well. I hate this bus stop because it always stops the change driver. Well, it's because it's by the bus depot over there. Is this our driver coming across the right? Yeah, no, no, it isn't.

Could be? No, it's not. They usually have a better jacket on that says London buses or something. It looked like there was a rondelle on his sleeve. No, you're wrong. I know. Goes with my form here, unobserved. Oh, idiot.

Well, you know, combative and ignorant and doesn't take criticism well as what I've got written down here at all. Constantly takes criticism up the jackhole. Not quite, not quite. This is where we started, is that right? Is this the bus station up here? I don't know what you're getting at. We started our first night bus episode, night busing episode. No, no, no.

No, no. So you just hold on to the handrails when the bus is moving. Here we go. They're going. Oh, there you go. That wasn't a too bad. Yeah, I've been here longer, mate. It's been a nightmare. Yeah. Especially when it's like afternoon, bad traffic and a bus full of people and school kids. And then they change the driver, yeah. Yeah, it's like, don't worry, man.

And then you see them outside having a nice long chat and having a natter. There's a bus garage in there. There's the super loops are in there. Because all the buses that stop or start at Harrow end up going to sleep here overnight. Oh, look at that. Harrow garage. And they have their belly washed. No, it was Harrow and Wilston Bus Garage that we got the N-18 fund. Yeah. Rutland, Drew.

Excuse me. Stop being a grouchy, horrible troll. Grouchy troll. Grouchy troll. Jobb, this has just text me. He says, what's our ETA? I've said about 10 minutes. He says, he'll have a drink ready for us.

Why is he asking, he should just be ready anyway? That's what I'm saying. He wants to be prepared. It doesn't seem like he's interested serving us. He's probably in the garden having a fag or having a smoke. He's not allowed to do that. He's reading the 500 quid an hour. He's reading the racing pokes than having a fervent.

bag in the garden, making a bet on tomorrow's race. You don't approve of that? I don't deal with him at his private life, but when he's on the clock... How do we know so much about it? Well, I had to give him a pre-interview, uh... A pre-interview? A pre-interview? A pre-interview discussion. Uh, pre-intern, when's the interview then?

Hasn't happened yet? No, all right, so why... That happened afterwards. You mean a debrief? Yeah, a post-mortem. Oxford Road. I feel like crap. Boo-hoo.

This is your motif. Boo-hoo, isn't it? No. Boo-hoo. It's such a... So. Isn't that the logo you used to have a tiger? Yes.

The S-O-Tiger. That's right. Don't she that anymore, do you? No. It got confused with... Frosties. And the people aside putting petrol on their frosties. It happens all the time.

Eh? Yeah. It's flammable. Flammable. You're rude. We're not getting off here. Yeah. No, no, no.

Yes, because the next stop is Harrow Bus Station. Is it really? Yes. Mate, I've lived here for a long time, I know. If you want to stay on, because, you know, on observant, combative. Anything else? I've done it. Don't worry.

I do worry. You didn't do it because I rang it in the first place. I was testing you. Exactly. You forgot. Forgetful. You're forgetful. Unobservant.

You're unobstervant. And you're a prude. Unpleasant owner. And you're a prude. Just because I won't snog you. It doesn't make me a prude. It makes me very much like everyone else on the planet,

but from one other. Oh, here we go. No one could possibly love Paul. I'm not saying that. You're such a sociopath. You are, though, aren't you? I'm not. I just can't be honest with people like you.

Oh, it's a shopping trolley. Oh, the remnants of lazy person let's cross here mate oh look at all these cars right okay good we're at the park we're going through this is a nice little short cut oh they looks like someone in a car there yeah there's a car park at the other side of the car that's why at the park car park at the side of the park in it the car park in the car park I'm not going across the mud though no let's not go across the mud I'm not doing that again. No, that's getting a flashback. What are they doing? Dogging or something? No, it's just

like they're closing the gates soon or something. So, I like this park at night. It could do with one or two lights, but apparently they don't put them in because of the houses around it don't like the light pollution. I mean, it could be a good route for pedestrians this time of year if they put the lights in. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then they could turn them off later in the evening, couldn't they? Oh, someone's put their fireplace on this nice burnt wood kind of thing. Nice. I love that smell. That's Christmas to me. fireplace crickling and crackling. But do you know what I mean?

They could have the lights on just from like, you know, from when it gets dark to, let's say, 10 or something. And then it's like, do you see what I mean? Just design the lamp so they cast light down and not out. I mean, there's so much light around here anyways. I mean, I've been through. I've been much darker and it is a bit unnerving to be fair.

Because it's overcast, there's a lot of reflected light coming back down from the sky tonight. Yeah, but there's also a lot of dark corners of this part. Yeah. You know? No, if you were by yourself, Or if you're a lady, you wouldn't, I wouldn't use this as a shortcut. No.

I wouldn't at all. No. I wouldn't even do it if I was by myself as a man. Fair enough. Around this way. I just hope the park, no, the park is still, their gates are still open near me. We'll be going to be fine. Uh-oh, there's green lights, what are they?

Are they dogs on these? Youth son. No, I think they're dog leashes. They are. I don't know, it looks like, is it like UFO dogs? Is it? It's really on the other than drones? Are they drones?

No, they're Christmas colour. No, they're dogs. They're dogs, would you? They're a dog. Don't know. Unless they're robots. Bleep bloop. They were tiny dogs.

They were teeny tiny ones. With a massive green, red. Christmas colours. Well, they almost sort of like glow sticks almost. Yeah. Had a glow stick vibe. But with Christmas colours, you're right, red and green. Sometimes, well white.

Nice, you don't get, you don't lose sight of your dog then, do you if it runs off? Because that kind of dog, you'd lose easy. A tiny little dog is, tiny dog didn't even bark or make any noise? No, good boy. Very well behaved. Good boy.

Good boys. Good boy. Oh, I need a wee wee. Well, luckily we're not too far away now. That Guinness has gone. Pachonk. Plang! Well, we're not too far away now.

Pispis, spis, spiscy, spis. Like that, Paul. It went like that. Pichonk. Palang! Pisissy, spiscy, that's how it goes. Just going to look at your year review. Shatown.

Nonsense words in lieu of actual words. Oh, I can't ever do that anymore. You just get words wrong. It's all you do. It's all you do. And the fact that you have a filter in your brain of that, it's like, do you think when you say, a kutoff, I don't ever say a kachoffity.

No, you never say that. That's your, that's your, that's a Paul Gannon formulation. The whole choffity, hoffity, boffity, I'm sorry, did you not come up with Pricka Printer? Okay, what was that? Or did you not come up with Cholffattie Baroff? Both of those? Yeah, so all I'm saying.

But not choffered or hoffered? That wasn't an example of something you've actually said. It was an example of your idiom, your garbage idiom. Garbage idiom. In fact, I'm more prone for this. Oh! Oh, Eli. You went too far.

Oh. You went way too far there, my friend. I think I had a bit of beef and gravy. I think there's a bit of early Christmas dinner there. They pour some gravy on those potatoes. Oh, that's a proper abessie that one. I can't believe. Every week you fart now.

now it's just a Christmas one what did you do anyway how did you get the mics that's in the mics the mine clothes pick it up hopefully oh yeah we are we're nearly at the uh un mansion phantom et harrow et cuilleere coolie coolie haunted our house on the hill we thought our house was haunted the other day because the Christmas lights kept turning themselves on even though they weren't plugged in. It turns out I put a set on with batteries and there was a battery pack that was turning itself on and off randomly.

It's always an explanation. There was an explanation. I thought it was going to be visited by like three ghosts, you know, the ghost of Christmas cheap, the ghost of Christmas expensive and the ghost of Christmas horny or something. And then I'd wake up on Christmas day and be better human. It's never going to happen. I'm a horrible cunt who's going to die alone. I don't think you'll die alone.

Merry Christmas. No, I'm not going to die alone because I'll be driving the bus when it goes off the cliff. That's great. Full of kids. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. A little Christy tree there, right, boss. That's nice, actually, yeah.

All right. I'm going to message Jarvis and say we're coming in. All right. I'm weird. I feel awkward about going to like Jarvis. He's very polite. Very, you know, like, you know, Downton Abbeyus. You're going to love him.

I hate all of that. But he's not going to be hovering. He's going to be sitting away until we call for them, so we're going to be fine, all right? Let's just go him. Here we go. They get the party started proper now, mate. Here we go.

Here we are, Eli. Look at this. Back inside. Isn't it lovely? Yeah. Isn't it lovely? In the maze on do... You know what?

I actually did the translation of this. I'm going to find out... I've got House of Horror on the Harrow Hill. I've got... I've got a screen grab. Maison de Terre. It is the La Maison Hauntee so La Colleen A Harrow. Welcome to the La Maison Hautee so Le Colleen A Harrow.

Oh, God. Yeah, it's good. It's there. We've got all the Christmas tree. I've got lights, presents, neath the tree. It's look, it's nice. Nice and Christmasy, actually, in here, Paul. Unfortunately,

Unfortunately, since our last. recording. What? I've had headaches come on. Oh, pussy boy. Grouch, are you going to say boo-hoo, boo-hoo again? Boo-hoo? You've got no empathy and it's a real problem. You know, it is a real problem. You, to the, my energy. This is my Christmas party. Well, I spent a lot of money on, well, not a lot of money, well, I spent a lot of money on Jarvis. Hey, that's a good point. I can't believe that. I don't. Hang on. Oh, Jarvis! Javis! Javis! Come in. Hello, sir.

Hello, Jarvis. Hello there. Thank you for preparing the room for us, Jarvis. It was very good of you. Yeah, it looks really nice. Oh, you Mr. Silverman, sir. Yeah, that's right, hi. Nice to meet you. Pleasure to meet you, sir.

Oh, don't touch him, Eli. He's probably got manned because he's poor or something. What are you talking about? What a dick? He's a person, Paul. I'm very clean, sir. Paul, you don't have to... What?

Just because you've paid money, he doesn't mean you can treat them like, In Jarvis, get us two old-fashioned stat. You know how to make them, don't you? You fucking old, come prick. Paul, that's not funny, man. Right away, sir. Uh, what are you using?

You're using Jack Daniels? That's what you supplied me with, sir. Yeah, well, you go make it now, you old bastard. Here, off you go. Piss off. See, he goes and makes it. He goes and makes us a drink. I'm mortified.

That's really embarrassing. It's not. It's what we're meant to do. No, that's not. It's what he's been paid for, 500 pound an hour. Yeah, but that doesn't give you the right to treat someone like, disrespectfully. It fucking does. Is that how you think world works?

Yeah, based on what I see. This is it. You think you're, you want to, you have aspirations to be rich. Not because you want to be rich because you want the money and the freedom that affords you. It's because you want to be a cunt to people. I want to be a cunt to people. I have not. I'm not going to pay any part in this. I'm going through it.

Jarvis. Poor man. Don't do that. He loves it. I'm fucking so embarrassing. It's not. It's the, getting the party going. You know what? You ruin everything. Do I? You touch. You're King Midas in reverse. Yeah? Like your career? Is that my fault?

You're such a cunt. Like, even on the character level, on the personal level, on every level. As soon as these mics turn on. It's all bleeding in today. It cussie, crissy, cussie. Cunty, cunt to that man. Give me some fucking food. Hey, Merry Christmas. Not my career.

Fuck you. It's fine. Everyone has their struggles. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Mr. Top of top radio presenter. I'm not a presenter.

I didn't say I presented. Whatever. Producer. Producer, thank you very much. Yeah. What do you do? You're a record player at a nightclub. I don't know why you keep attacking that.

You called me the anti-midas man. And I say, without me, without me, you wouldn't be an award-winning podcast with an album featuring in a movie with with a guy you wouldn't have met without me introducing you to him. So I think you have a lot to thank me for. Javis! Javis! Oh, don't.

Please don't. Yes, sir. Where are the drinks, eh? Where are the drinks? He's got them. He's got them. Shut up. Right here, sir. Oh, God.

Thank you, Jarvis. Please can be fucking eat something so it's not just attacking my character and work ethic. Consulate. Jarvis. Don't. Make me another. It's fine. Go on.

Right away, sir. That tastes fine. Mine is fine. Mine is very good. Thank you very much, sir. It's fine, Jarvis. Right, okay, piss off again now. Bring me another drink.

We've got snacks coming in a minute. We've got snacks. So bring some of the snacks in. Anyway, I want to read something out to you, mate, before we go any further. Oh, God. I've got this email today. I need to read it to you.

Top best. If you were a reason to believe that AI is shit, oh boy, howdy. I've got something for you. Fucking, I. can't believe boy howdy has become a thing i want a t-shirt with my face on it with the words boy howdy coming out of my fucking mouth one of all the things you say that really great my gears that has to be the top one anyway you say merry christmas right now very christmas

you do it fuck you yeah right so i got this email from john thank you john for emailing us i've been put off you by your adaptation adoption of that fucking boy howdy thing which isn't a thing No, he hasn't said that. I'm saying that. Oh. He hasn't said anything that. Oh, my God, you're very quick to judge, aren't you, Mr. Silverman? You call me nasty.

Why are you editing his fucking email on the fly, you can't? I was an email. Just read it out normally. Because I said, oh, boy, howdy, it's a good email. That was the sentence. All you heard was blah, blah, blah, poor bullshit, boy, howdy. Now I react. Kesekesee?

I actually think I might have to vomit. I might have to vomit. No, you're not going to vomit in my lovely house. I think I've got the flu coming on today. I think I've got the flu coming on today. I think I've got the flu. coming on as well. Yeah.

I feel poorly, Dickie Woo. Nicky Boo. I'm gonna have two weeks off. When we were sick as dogs. When I was perfectly healthy and then on Christmas Eve you came over. No, but it was a fair few years in,

early days. And you came over and you mean the opposite of a fair few years in. Only a few years in. Only a fair few years in. Not a fair few means a long few. Doesn't? Yes, it is.

A fair few. No, it doesn't. It doesn't mean that. As in an agreeable amount. You're wrong. A fair few. No, as in. yes, a substantial amount.

But you were trying to say the opposite. In my purview, the curfew, I forgot the word. You were trying to say it hasn't been long before we'd met, which we don't use fair few years for that expression. Fair few curfew. Everyone knows what I'm fucking talking about. Everyone knows. He was wrong again.

A Merry Christmas, Swiss a party. You just sprinkle your nonsense speak with all these little bits of language that just have no, they're untethered for meaning. I've said this all before. Yeah. Read the fucking email. So, John sent this. I asked AI for information about Jeep show.

Oh God, here we go. You can't send me this. I will if you want. Oh my God, I can't believe you didn't send it to me. No, I did. You're right because I just remember where we're going with this. Fuck me. It's all right.

I just forgot that this is where the email was going. Take a breath. Nah. I'm all in. I'm trying to get the energy up after E. Eli's emails. E-Mai emails. Listen, I've got energy.

I just have some pacing. It doesn't always... Oh, I'm not going to... I'm not going to criticise you anymore. Really? Merry Christmas! What a great gift! That's the best gift you've ever given me!

What did you send it on? Email. I think I just forwarded you the email to Eli.com or something. I didn't get that, I don't think. I did send it. I've forward you it again. You got it?

Yeah. Right, so let me read the first bit. So he asked AI for information about Cheap Show, and it told me that, Cheap Show is a Pan-Atlantic show where Eli is... the quote-unquote American contingent. Well, you can see why it got that idea.

It also claims that the podcast was originally hosted by Paul McCaffrey until Gannon took over. Oh, see, it's fine. It's weird how it weaves these things. Because I did produce Paul McCaffrey's radio show when he worked on Sam FM. When we first were starting the pod. But the weird thing is, I don't know if that's ever been like fully mentioned within the world of Cheap Show itself.

It must, we've definitely mentioned Paul McCaffrey on the show. Mate. I'm not saying we haven't. He's still going. Oh, yeah, he's still going. But what I'm saying is, it's surprising that they took that one slither of a tiny fact that I don't even think was mentioned properly in the podcast and then found it. They're hallucinating, yes, but they're taking like slim connections. There must be some statistical connection between your record and the McCaffrey because you were listed with him somewhere. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

But now they think, because it's Paul, maybe they think he's the host of Chief Show. Do you see what I mean? It's very strange. Yeah. Anyway, so now he goes I asked it to write an example of a cheap show episode and then this is where it comes in

so I'll be playing the role of Paul Gannon And I'll be playing Eli Silverman Hello everyone Right, here we go I just have to say that Straight after I said it I want to die you have to say Why do you have to do that

Touch my Willie or shut your mouth It's time to play the party game I just right there's the script It begins with me So I'm going to say the first sentence Here we go Right, Eli, welcome back to Price of Shite. I've got a proper gem here from a charity shop bin.

It's a ceramic figurine of a clown holding a balloon that's shaped like a massive cock. What? Let me see that. Oh, for fuck's sake, Paul. That's not a balloon. That's clearly a vainy knob. Who buys this shite? Some lonely nan thinking it's art. Don't knock it till you've priced it. You go first.

What's this masterpiece worth? I'd pay nothing. I'd pay them to take it away. But knowing these bins, it'll probably $2.99 with a cracked base. Probably. Probably. Wrong. Shut up.

Shut up. Let's keep to the script. Wrong. You keep to, you got made a mistake that I didn't bring up. Wrong. You want to have a dressing down at me? Do you want to give... You said you wouldn't criticize me no more.

Fuck sake, so annoying. Right, back to the script. Wrong. Let's go from the top. I think we should go from the top. No. we should. We've marooned it now.

Marooned it, have marooned it, have I? You marooned five. I kind of have maroon fived it. I've turned it to shit. You have, yeah. Oh, yeah, mate, I completely marooned five that. Oh, mate, don't go in there. I just move room five in the bathroom.

They suck, don't they? They fucking suck. Right, right. Start from the top, please. Here we go. And scene. AI cheap show. Right, Eli, welcome back to the price of shite.

I've got a proper gem here from the charity shop bin. It's a ceramic figurine of a clown holding a balloon that's shaped like a massive cock. What? Let me see that. Oh, for fuck's sake, Paul. That's not a balloon. That's clearly a vainy knob. Who buys this shite?

Some lonely nan think it's art. Don't knock it to you. Priced it. You go first. What's this masterpiece worth? I know. Take it from a job. I'd pay nothing.

I'd pay them to take it away. But knowing these bins, it's probably $2.99 with a cracked base. Wrong. It's £4.50? You lose a point, you hairy little goblin. $4.50? Who the fuck is paying that for a porcelet? Shut up.

I didn't say that. Yeah, we were both thinking it, though, weren't we? Lots of fun. Lots of Christmas fun. No, that's not going to disrail me. Sorry. Disrail me. Disraeli.

The old brand minister. Oh my God. Right. I'll try that line again. From the job. Shut up. Wow. Got derailed there.

Right. What was the line? I'll give you the feed line. Wrong. It's £4.50. You lose a point. You're hairy little goblin. 4 pound 50?

Who the fuck is paying that for a porcelain prick? You're having a laugh. This is why the podcast going down the toilet. Your shite tents. Items. to make this bigger. That's what she said. No, that's the office.

That's not our joke to make, Paul. I'm doing it. It's appropriate. Right, where am I? Oi, watch it. Next one, a half-eaten packet of own brand crisps from 2012. Flavor, cheese and regret. This is, we should get this to right.

No, don't give it. No, we're fighting the system. That's not even sealed. Smells like your mum's knicker drawer. Charming. Guess the price, you twat. 50p. That's overpriced.

Spot on 50p, and now that you've tied, I hate, and I hate tying with you, makes me feel dirty. You are dirty, Paul. You live off this trash. I hate you and your fucking noodle posse. Noodle time, you later, you Bell-end. One more item to break the tie, the end.

Oh boy, howdy. And that was our ice cream. Why I'd take you for your noodle posse? I know, yeah, right? That's completely wrong. It's funny how... You've never said that. I've never said that.

No, I've never said that. I know, I've, no, I know, I've, no, you have said that. I've never said, fuck you and your noodle posse. It's in the titles to a fucking credit every week. No, Paul, you say it in the titles, because I'm the noodle guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Fuck, I got it now. I got it now.

Jarvis! That's exactly what I mean. Jarvis, come in. You gave things the wrong, but you just disagree before you actually, you just have to disagree with everything I say. You tell Eli to calm down. He's getting very aggressive. Sir.

We'll have to shut this shit up. I need to remind you to calm yourself somewhat. Your voice has fucking changed a lot. Saw. Yeah, there you go. Better, sir. What? Now, you can go now, Jarvis.

You can bring the snacks in. You got some snacks. Hey, mate, we have some snacks. You get the Christmas going. You were adamant then, that I was the one who said, fuck you and your noodle posse. After 10 years.

I've had two drinks. You were so adamant. And this is, I'm already in Wobble Town. I mean, I'm in Wobblebound. You were looking at me in the eye. I was on the way to Amisham again. It's funny. The train today was the Amisham line.

Maybe it is on the Amishamon line. What if it's dementia, hey? I don't think it is. Anyway, who'd fucking notice the difference? Anyway, should we get some snacks in? Sure. All right, let's get some snacks in Jarvis. Is Jarvis still in here, isn't he?

Your snacks are. Now, why don't you fuck off back to the hallway for a little bit? It's actually... It's really upsetting me you being rude to Jarvis, okay? Thank you, sir. Please don't, can you please stop being rude to Jarvis? I'll be, all right, I'll stop being rude to...

That's not what rich people do. Purvy Jarvis. It's because of the systems they operate. That's not, I can talk to... No, you can't. You can't do that. You can't do that I want. That's not, you've got this with...

Everything I've heard of the news about millionaires and billionaires, I can do what I want, hey? I can't believe you're wasting our money on that. It's my money. I can go get the snack to you. I'll go get some fucking snacks for you. I'm wasting my money on this.

Not cheap shows money. This is my money. It's not the best old-fashioned either. No, it's not, is it? But he's got the shakes. It tastes weird. He's got the shakes. That's why it must be off for him.

Why has he got the shakes? Because he's old. He's like 86 or something, isn't he? He doesn't look that old. He is. He's that old. It feels like he's got chalk on his hair. Yeah, but I added that.

I said, I want the whole look. So I put some talc on his shoulders and his in his ear. And I said, can you hunch over and walk about? And he's playing the role. He's not really No, he is 86 But I've asked him to look like An old fashion

Like a stereotypical old butler That you'd see in a sitcom Or a panto Okay, that makes sense now And I've asked him to wear a big nappy Because he's not allowed to go to the toilet When he's here So he has to shit in shit in his pants

What? What? He has to shit in his pants Let him let him use my toilet Should we try some of these snacks then? Yeah, go on, they're over there, bring him in He just put them there What do you want to start with first?

Let's do the Pringles first Right, these are the Christmas Pringle flavors for this year. All right, limited edition. Right, the first one is Pringle's roast turkey flavor. And it's on the front, it's got a slice of turkey on and a bobble and a Pringle. That's nice, isn't it? It's got a Pringle-shaped slice of turkey.

Eli, I would like you to give us the Office Christmas Party Huff. I will not take that away from you. You're the Huffmeister. You're in charge of snuffage. Oh, I thank you. But, Paul, I think we both know what these are going to taste and smell like. Roast chicken flavor of walkers. Because it's hard to get turkey right, isn't it?

I mean, it's not a great taste. It's not, but it's kind of weirdly bland in a very specific way, that's hard to pinpoint. It's bitter and tasteless at the same time. Like me? Yeah, that's good, yeah, yeah. I was going to say you, but I thought, nah, that's me. That's me, how horrible, man.

No, it's don't, oh, God. Anyway. I'm getting the sad part of the boo's coming on now. I've gone past that. I'm going to give this the huff. I'm in charge of snuffage. But when will horny come? Hornie will come soon.

Horny come soon Christmas horny come soon All right here we go Go on hoff Hough hoff Smells exactly like Yeah Roast chicken flavoured walkers

Can I smell it Just tell me I'm wrong They can't distinguish It smells exactly like that I will be fair And say There are turkey notes But I do agree that

Overall the kind of spicy Part of it is roast chicken Turkey notes Wasn't that like a group in the five guys named Moe Musical. Yes. I'm trying. You are.

And I appreciate it. Oh, right. Give us one of those. I don't even want to taste it. We need to stop doing weird random shit. We need to stop being witty people. We can... 2026 is the witty year.

All right. Well, we're very... What's the word? Aradite. What's the word? These aren't the adroids you're looking for. These aren't the adroit you're looking for. Erudite means is like...

It means well spoken, I guess. Yeah, we should be more well spoken next year. I think that's what people want from us. Really? Just saying. Right, here we go. I'm going to take the top one off here. Well, you...

There you go. Pringles, you can't go wrong with those little paraboloids. Oh, that's nice. Very erudite of you. Parabolo. See what I mean? Roast chicken. They're not bad.

Yeah, all right, actually. Quite a nice strong flavour. Yeah. It's just roast turkeys it meant to be. Yeah. I mean, to say that's a limited edition, I mean... I mean, it is because they'll sell it for two months around this time of year and that's it. a year and that's it.

Whatever. You don't see Walker's Rose chicken flavour anymore though. Do you not? No, I think they probably exist in multi-packs in B&M and that sort of thing.

Multi-packs. But... That's what she was looking for in the fifth element. Multi-packs. Was she? Yeah. Is that true?

No. What was she looking for? Multi-pass. Ah. Anyway, next one, we got two tubes of Pringles and this one's another Christmas limited edition.

What is it, mate? This is Pringles' limited edition Pigs in Blankets. Now, that's a British dish. Is it not an American thing? Do they not have pigs in blankets? I do not think they do. They don't wrap bacon in sausage. I think they call them hogs in...

Hogs eyes. Hogs eyes in a bed. No, hogs and coat. They've got another word for it, I think. Hog in coat. Yeah. That's a good one. I don't think it's hogging coat. Americans, if there's many of you, tell us what you call pigs in blankets, which is bacon wrapped in sausage. I don't know for sure, but I think it's a

British thing. Fine. I didn't know. I think it's a British thing. I mean, Americans must wrap sausage in bacon. They wrap meat and other meat. They don't have... Like Taduckin. Yes. That's an American thing, isn't it? Dockons? Have you sort of crack duckin? Crack duckin?

Tercracken. Tercracken. Which is a big turkey, but it's got an octopus coming out. It's bum hole sort of. So it looks like Cthuloo. Like Cthuloo. Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?

Conceptually, yeah. In reality, what a fucking disgusting, horrible, nasty thing. Now. No, but you know, for example, they don't have toad in a hole in America, do they? No. Which is also a sausage-based. Is that too strong for you? It's just, oh, fuck me.

It's nice, though. It's very Christmassy. It's not that it's not nice. It's just, whoa, baby boy, I'm growing up today. Right, I'm giving a chaffer late and a jophilate. Hog and a coat. Pigs and blackies, what will these taste smell like? I mean, this is.

Wait, wait, wait, is it going to be sausage or bacon? Is it going to be paprika? Hopefully. No, no paprika. No, but, you know, they sometimes use it as a kind of bacony kind of flavoring. Because of the smokiness, yes. Yeah, right. He's going in for the hoof.

A Christmas. Week show. Week show? Week show? Week show? A weak show on cheap show? Week show. It smells like shitty bacon crisps.

Yeah, almost. Not even that strong. Not as strong as a frazzle. No. I'm not going to enjoy these. Well, you don't know, because we've often been surprised by things that smell bad.

I don't think he smells bad. It's just not much smell at all. Am I wrong in thinking there's a weird coconut note to that? Yes. Do you know what I mean? There's a weird kind of coconut fibre flavour flavour. thing going on? No, to me they're oversweet. That's sweet, ma'am.

I'm getting this weird coconut note. I can't explain it. You know, you get like desiccated coconut? Yeah. I'm getting like that kind of flavour profile. Like at the back, umami-ish at the back. I prefer the turkey. For me, the flavour is dropping off immediately. You know we need to bring back? Turkey is an

insult. You're a turkey. Jive turkey. You're a jive turkey, man. You're turkey. Jive turkey is somebody who runs their mouth. Yeah. You're a jive turkey. Jive turkey, man. I'm going to bring that back. Next year's the year of Jive Turkey.

There is a song called... Jive turkey, a garbler... No, there is a song by... Who? Ohio players. Called Jive turkey. Cool. Pretty good, yeah.

But I'm going to do jive talking. Jive turkey, a gobbledigoo. He got my jive turkey. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Next snacks. Oh.

I didn't buy a lot of snacks. Do you want to do Doritos or do you want to do Jaffers? I think we should end on the Doritos. All right, let's get the Jaffers out. Now, these did catch my eye. Jaffer snacks. This is my most anticipated item of today's party. Is it?

Is it? Cosmic berry flavour. Jaffer cakes. They're new. Now, we did try the most recent limited edition unusual flavour jaffer cake we tried was hot honey. Hot honey, which is fine.

I don't know. No, no, it didn't work for me. I tell you what, I had a Thanksgiving stroke Christmas meal yesterday. I thought you're just going to end the sentence there with a Thanksgiving stroke. And it's like, oh, look are you. I mean, the odds are. I can't remember whether I did, but the odds are, yeah, it probably did. Within that era, that small snip off of time, yeah.

Small snip off of time, small snip off of time. Again, you're using the wrong words. But it works. Especially for time-based things you're really bad on. It was like a fair few years, you said, meaning a short amount of years, but that's not what that means. And then now you say, now you say era to mean one day. Epoch.

It's even longer. Epoch, merrily on eye. It's Christmas time tomorrow. Sticking up your eye. I'm going to make you sorrow. Oh, Jimmy Cranky's Fanny. I've thought about that.

I've thought about that. I've thought about. It's probably very nice. What happens where after a show, No, Jimmy Cranky and the other one, Bobby Cranky, I don't know what his name is. It's like they're in the mood. And he has to watch a get undressed as a schoolboy.

And I was thinking, does he like... Is that his favourite thing? Both too tired. He does. He does. I reckon they get off on it. I reckon the kit comes down. They do a bit, they do a few bowing. And then he...

That is. I hold in my hand. He goes, taking off, Jeanette. And she goes, OK, the new. And it pulls here fanny out. He loves it. But she keeps the cat on. Not the cat, the hat on. She keeps the hat on all the way through.

So international listeners, I'm sorry if that reference me to nothing to you. But basically, there's a genuine act in this country where a grown man and his wife pretend to be an adult and a small school child where they get up to naughty hijinks. But in real life, they're having sex right after. And Bobby Davro wanted it. And a lot of you don't even know who Bobby Davro is, but he's a cunt and all. Anyway, I'm going to finish this old-fashioned.

Oh, my God. And then that's it for you, I think. So I've got all the drinks at the fridge and I've got other stuff. Paul. Kiss me. Oh, here's the Jaffa Cakes. Look at that.

That's a whole sleeve of Japper Cakes. Shut up. Yeah, it is. Oh, my mouth aren't working. Jaffer cakes. Jaffer cakes. Right. But that doesn't that look small to you?

That's what she said to him. Doesn't that look, that shrinkflation? It looks like shrinkflation. That's what I say to my partner. Look, there's a whole baggy end of this sleeve. It's not very big, isn't it? I say, oh, I love it, it's shrinkflation, isn't it? Hard time's living through.

Now, what do you think the... It's, mate, it's austerity. Oh, austerity. You lost it, mate. Oh, austerity. Yes, he's banking now. Osterity. Trigflation.

Forsterity. Yeah, I know how I've lost. Right, what are this flavour again? Jaffer cake flavour. You board with that. With forsterity, yeah. Swah. Svore.

Svorreity. Severity. Cosmic berry. So what does that mean? What does that mean? I don't know. Where have you put the box? There are no cosmic berries that we know of.

Where did I put the fucking box? Mate, you can't be too far. It's a guy in January. What we've done your nose? No, monny, nini. Yes. Cosmic berry. So it's just going to be a general berry flavor.

I want to see if I can see what it says. Ingredients. Dark chocolate, sugar. Oh, it's dark chocolate? It's always been dark chocolate. It's always dark chocolate. Right. Does it say here what the flavour is meant to sort of be?

No, actually, it doesn't really infer anything in terms of. It just says, spotlight, sponge cakes with dark chocolatey chocolate at a berry flavour centre. It's just berry flavoured. What makes it cosmic? Nothing. The fact that it's generic berry. Do you know what I think? Or sparkles.

Now, it's been a cosmic thing because we tasted cosmic Coke. I can add to this. Okay. Jaffirmatics. That's the details. Chocolate on top, sponge on the bottom

and a tangy berry flavor in the middle. Meaningless. Meaningless. Chummy. I'm handing it. He's doing something because fly.

His fly was undone. This whole recording. I wondered what that smell was. Yes. Fisci business. It was your man chauvy cream. It was my old man Gannon's manchovey fish business. Tip paste.

Now, tip paste. Right. I'm going to make a prediction. Yeah. I think it's going to have a generic berry flavor, but there will be a distinct vanilla note, I think. I wonder what the tang part means. I think it'll be a vanilla note.

The tang will be a sourness. Yeah. Well, you know what? Let's stop nattering and start eating. Hmm. It's like a candy floss kind of thing. It's got very little flavour. I'm going to...

No, it's got very little flavour. I'm going to just eat the jelly. It's fine. It does taste like candy floss, because candy floss has no flavour either. No, just sweetness. Just sweetness. God, that's terrible.

They're awful. Can I just recommend to McFitties that they just stopped doing this now? That's terrible. Because since we started this podcast, we've seen many, many flavor variations of Jaffa cake come through our doors. We haven't?

We have. Not just on the podcast, but the many Patreon episodes we've done, we never did the hot honey on the, on the main podcast. We did it on the Patreon one. Oh, that's right. Or the Coca-Cola or the strawberry or the lime or whatever it was. Oh, there was lime, yeah.

And they're all awful. Yeah, that might be the worst, though, in terms of... No, I think that's fine compared to some of them. That has no flavour at all of berry. No. No, no, it's generic sweet flavour. It could be anything. You could have said that was strawberry, I believe you. Yeah.

It's a berry, I guess. Very poor. I'm going to give it two out of five. Oh, we rated them? Because I haven't rated any of these. Pigs in blanket, two out of five. Two. Roast, turkey, three out of five. I'll give three as well.

These I'll give two. Yeah. And then last one, last one, last one. I've been not looking forward to these for several months now. I also have not been looking forward to these for a while. Also, by the way, me and Eli had some camembert croquettes and some spicy things before the recording. Halapino poppers. They were lovely.

They've known as Halapino poppers in the States. I got them, a pound each box of them, a pound each of oldie. Oldie. And they were really nice, weren't they? They were fine. They were lovely five. Anyway, that's not in the podcast, but it was part of our eating party podcast, office party podcast pouch. I own in my... He owns in his hand, this bag of Doritos. I comb in my hand.

He has a bag of Doritos in his hand. I have a bag of Doritos in my hand. Come on there, are you like? They're a limited edition, and they are, wait for it. Oh, you do. Gingerbread flavour. Right. limited edition Doritos does that make anyone happy

the thought of it no who's happy about that what's the point of it is gingerbread a Christmas thing it kind of is it can yeah it kind of is it came out a few months ago because we've been hanging on to this you could make a weak argument for it being a Halloween thing too but it's an autumn thing in it it's nothing else it's a seasonal or if you're American fall have you ever thought to yourself oh should I kill myself yeah sometimes Have you ever thought to yourself...

Let's just do it. No, have you ever thought to yourself, you know what I'd like? I'd like a corn chip, savory corn chip. Savory corn chip. That tastes of gingerbread. No one's wanted that. Who wants it? Who came up with this?

Also, primarily these are made for dipping, right? They're not things that really exist on their own. You can dip in chocolate. They do exist on their own. People have Doritos for lunch. Like, they have like a packet of cool blue. No, no, no. I get that.

But what I'm saying is that's because they've crispified. it. But the Dorito chip itself usually is with a salsa, right? It's kind of part and part of the deal. A plain, a plain tortilla chip. Doritos, their flavour. But the inference is that Doritos are a dipping item. That's why they sell so many fucking dipping sauces with them. The big pots of

goo, that'd be called. We do do that. You know what? We haven't tasted, which I still have a pot of. What? The Stranger Things, black garlic dip. Fine, we'll give that a go, right not. Maybe it'll be a Patreon thing. Join that, pachron.com, forward slash cheap show. That's out the way. Now, I'm looking at the back of this packet of a limited edition of

Doritos and it says full-on crunch. Yeah, I gave it a full-on crunch. You want that with an intense gingerbread flavour. Oh, it's intense, great. Yeah, I really want an intense, horrible flavour on this. I like gingerbread, but only when it's in its rightful place. I can have a small amount.

I'm not like huge on it. Do you like gingerbread men? That's not an inferring anything. I'm just saying you like gingerbread men. Yes. Do you like gingerbread men? I'm not here you're going to do that. Right.

Right, huff time. Huffer late and jostlate. Gingerbread flavored Doritos. There we go. I'd like to kick your ass a lot. Oh, God. That was a very violent reaction, if you don't mind me saying so. Can I ever snuff?

Should I? There we go. Fucking hell, that smells like stale popcorn. Farty, it's very farty. Oh, no, that's not healthy. I mean, I'm getting the ginger, I'm getting the corn. I can smell it all. It doesn't go together.

Oh, I don't know if I'm going to like this. Is there any coloration? No, it looks plain weirdly. It looks like a plain one. It does, yeah. It's a slight orange hue, I'd wager. Oh, that's really nasty. The smell is actually really nasty.

Right, let's see how this goes. Here we go. Three, two, one. Okay. No. That's not working for me. That's really sweet. That's not working for me.

That almost tastes like Chinese food. I don't know how to explain that either Well, ginger is one of the big elements In a lot of Chinese food Yeah, that isn't work Sweet, yeah, sweet and ginger would be in a Chinese dish I can see where you're going with that

Yeah, right, well it doesn't work here No, very nice Not, I mean, they're not I wouldn't want to eat another one, put it that way I can't even eat this one I'm fighting it, mate It's just swirling around my jowls Too sweet

Oh, man, hang on Jarvis Jarvis! Yes, sir Put your hands out Put your hands out, like a cup. No, don't do that, Paul, don't do that. Don't do that, man.

Paul, I'm sorry about it. Sorry, I'm really sorry about that. Come here, no, come here. P. There we go, fuck off. Thank you, sir. He could just wash his hands, it's fine. Yeah, but you shouldn't treat people like that.

I'll bring him like I want. He's my Christmas butler. Does be thankful I don't treat you. like this. You'd do all this for the same money. No, I wouldn't. If I paid you £500 to put it with all this, you'd fucking do it.

You would. I'd pay £1,000 on top of that to make it. What are you getting all this money from? I'm not going to shush. I'll be the whistleblower. My mouth feels hot. My ginger hot. Yeah.

Ginger has heat. It's non-chilly heat, but it has a spicy heat. I don't like this. It's closer to black pepper sort of heat. 1.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.1.5 out of 5 out of 5 for that. Ginger might be the new big heat thing. Don't like it. You know there's Gal-Gall.

What would you give it? Gal-Gall-Gall-Gall-Gall-Gall-Gall-Gall-Gall-Gallon's Gal-Gall. You can keep not hearing it if you want. What? Say what? Oh, no, you're going to do something racist now? No, poor-quah. You were going to do?

What was I going to do that? Was I going to do that? Like, that guy out of faulty towers? Well, that wasn't what I was saying at all. That was racist. That is racist. And you're a racist for bringing up because I wasn't thinking about that. I was just saying, por qua.

I hope you've enjoyed some episodes this year. We've done lots of lovely episodes this year. I'm not feeling very well. We had our weird episode this year. We had our inside track bot. Your foot's touching the microphone cable movie. Don't lie back. Sit up straight.

We've got... I'm going full on flu. Would you like more booze? We've got those presents, haven't we, coming? And that's stuff from Leighton. So we should do that now. Jervis! Javis!

Javis! Yes. Sir. Eat that, Jarvis. Sniff it. Sniff that Jarvis. Don't make him do that. He just, sniff Eli's fart just then.

I didn't do. Sniff it. I'm wafting it that way. Thank you, sir. Oh, God, I'm sorry everyone for the quality of this. Smells like a roast dinner, sir. Thank you for that as well, sir. Thank you Jarvis.

That's Eli burping in your face. Now, go bring us some more booze. presence, all right? Do it now. Also, when you walk out the room, I want you to walk out like you're a ballet dancer on your tippy toes with your hands above your head. Do that.

Don't have to do that. Do that. Do it. However you say, sir. Do it. On your tippy toes. Do it. There we go. Yay.

Tippy toes. Hey. This is fucking great, mate. I'm loving this. Loving it. You're a fucking huge... Come on. It's Christmas.

Christmas party. Right, let's get some more booze on. Party time. I'm going to put some music on. There we go. Thank you, Jingle Bears, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to write in a life horse open swaying. Thank you, Jarvis.

Fuck off out the room. Go on. Bye-bye, bye-bye. Right. He's brought in some drinks. Latens gave to you. the deal, right? Should we open the present from Leighton?

Yeah. Let's do it. Christmas presents. I fucking love it. Let's bring it on. Thank you, Leighton. Is it for both of us, these, or is it just one? All right, so it's one for both. Cheap show, Merry Christmas. Yeah, there's a pack for both of us, mate. Oh, no, one's with chili. Which you want? Just the normal. You were, really?

Yeah. And we had not, didn't we have these before? Oh. Didn't we have snack of pickles? Look at these tiny ones. These are great. Can I have one? Oh, what one?

I'm having two. Oh, they're like that. Oh, okay, because remember we had those crisps that were sliced pickles. Yeah, these are actual pickles. Oh, that's all right, isn't it? They're nice. Oh, that's all right. They retain their crunch, they're a little sealed packs.

Yeah, the little tiny pickles. Like cat food sachets, aren't they? Cat food sachets, like dreamies. Oh, they're good. Very tough. Surprisingly. Let's try the spicy ones. Yeah.

Oh, I like a little pickle, me. These are by Sirius Pig, who I do make crackling and stuff like that, I believe. Do they? And charcutory type things, yes. Why would they call pig? And they've got pickles, I mean. Piggles. Pick Piggles.

Picklepicks. Pickle pigs. Please stop. I will never. I will annoy you to the day you or I die. This is the chili one. They're really good. What makes them chili?

I've got chili in. In? Or on. In? And on. And around. I've got a bite to him. Yeah, all right, though.

Yeah. They retain their crunch. Very nice. Yeah, there's a little bit of heat there. There's definitely some heat there. Mmm. Right. So, he gave us some drinks as well, did he?

Let's get them on the go. All right, mate. Spicy Marg. White box. No, you know what? We should start with... Start with the other one. Old fashioned, because we had an old fashion.

Oh, because we had an old fashion. already, yeah. Eli's right again. Old fashioned in a can. Get your glass over. Oh, it's nice and chilled from your fridge. It didn't been in the fridge. Jarvis, mate, I told Jarvis to make sure it was sealed the whole fucking time. Oh, mate, I might have a shit. All of a sudden, I've got an urgency.

It's fine. I'll bite down. It's all right, go on. You don't want to bite down so hard that you buy the head off and the head rolls around. Yeah. Turtle head. Like the scene in the thing where it grows legs and scuttles out the door. What's it smell like? It smells like a very terrible version of the drink we just had from Jarvis.

No. Well, this is from Leighton. That's it. I mean, it looks like old-fashioned. Looks exactly the same colour. What are you going to say? It's the same thing. Same colour.

Smells the same? No, it doesn't. It smells weaker to me. More carbure. You've smelt it from the tin, whereas I've smelt it from the cup, which has the remnants of the good one. And also, I'm the resident super-taster. You are the resident. Well, you super-taster and sniffer do different things.

No, they're completely related. Has anyone who knew about super-tasting would know. No, no, no. You can only be one or the other. No, supertasters have a great sense of smell. Do you pick one? The smell and taste are completely related. I know they're related, but you can only be one.

It's not, supertaste. You have to pick one now. It means the same thing. Do you want to be a taster or a sniffer? I'm both. I'm a super taster and sniffer. No, you can't be. I won't let you.

I don't care. I don't care what you say. You don't care what you should. They're my terms. I'll define them any way I like. Were you? Yep. How?

Here we go. I'm a super blabba, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blabba, blah, blah. Wow. Yeah, it's about your level. How a droid of you? These aren't the droids you're looking for. I'll drop your droids.

Right, I'm going to have some of this. Compare it to Jarvis's freshly made. That's just, that's just whiskey. What's like weirdly sweet. Which is what an old fashion is. No, but taste it. You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I mean?

It's so too sweet. It's too sweet. Too sweet. Oh, it's way too sweet. It really puts into relief that one eye. made, I mean Jarvis made, which was really good, wasn't it? No, you made it, but Jarvis brought it in. Oh, I see. Oh, no, did he?

No, he made it. It was really nice, that, wasn't it? What was the C-I-Player? It was really nice? No, much better. That's... That is too much. That's almost like turns my stomach a little bit. Yeah, I mean, booze tends to, and you weren't going to get too pissed this time. I'm not. I'm... Because I'm drinking water as well, look at it. That's good.

And I'm pacing myself. No, that's quite unpleasant. Oh, it's a shame, isn't it? Maybe the spicy mug will do better. Right. Now, spicy mug, I don't know if you've noticed, but it's very much the it cocktail of the moment with Gen Z or whatever. God, I was on the Blues Kitchen website. Yeah. But you know what, honestly, I went from being married and then having that swig. It was really turned the corner.

Don't come turn around again. I might forego the rest of that. Honestly, that is... Oh yeah, no, I'm not going to drink it. That's repulsive almost. It's too much of every... Well, we'll have a sip of the spicy marg than they can. Oh, God, that's really turned.

We're going to taste these beers as well. We don't have to drink a lot of them. That's a plot twist there. I didn't like it. Oh. He was the villain. He was the villain all along. It can't get as bad as last time.

But spicy marg, very much the drink du jour. White box is this company. And it is simply a margarita with chili added, basically. Spicy margarita cocktail. That's all it says. Because I was on the Blues Kitchen website and said, oh, fancy, don't go home from work. Come and have frozen spicy marks.

So it's like cheeky nando's. Spicy marg. What, like a slush puppy thing? Is that what it is? A frozen margarita is, but they're like, spicy marg. I bet it's delicious, actually, as a concept. I'm all about it. I bet this is too sweet, just like the other one.

Let's find out. What's the smell saying? Thanks for these, Leighton. The pickles are great. I will have those. The pickles are great, mate. I'm going to have those. We are in agreement on the pickles.

This, though, is sniff that. Just sniff that and just have a quandary. White Box is the brand, by the way. I said that. Oh, you did. No, twice. See? Right, that was my reaction. That's a tequila. It's a cheap tequila smell.

Yeah, I'm having a sip of this because this sounds like it, it, it will rot me from the inside out. Just have a small sip. No. There's a weird almond note to this, which is really off-putting. You see weird notes everywhere. Right, okay, when I give you this back, you don't tell me there's a weird kind of marsy pan almond note. But that's the same as what I get as tequila has a sort of almondness to it. Oh, no. Oh, God.

Oh, no. That's evil That's absolutely fucking evil Is it real bad I don't like that I don't like that That's the most serious You've been all day

Don't like that Yeah right It gives you the shivers There is something bad about that It should be a lot colder I didn't hate that that much No I didn't like that That did not work for me

It's the sort of cheap tequila flavour I think is what you're getting Oh god no it's that weird I'm slavro Like my body says to be sick now. Yeah, that's what the excessive salivation is.

A vom-vom-vom. A vom-a-vom? I have one, two, three options right now. Vom-a-v-v-vom. Vom, poo, wank. And I don't know which one I want to take the... I'm all out of come. And I'm all out of come.

Now... Yeah, I'm all out of come. I am all out of time. That has kind of turned the corner with me. Right, you see what I mean? It's like, we've turned the corner now. We have to sip some beer. We have to sip those.

We have to taste those. Let's just do one then, because honestly, I want those to be a nice date. It's a nice party end. It's our last episode. It's our last episode of the year, mate. So, come on. So which one of these two do you want to try? Can I do my vomom-a-vom joke, please?

Because I've been developing it. Oh, this is a very fancy party. Is it? Yes, they've got all sorts of canapes. What have they got over there? Oh, those mini pork pies. And what are these? These are vom-a-voms.

Yes, all right. Okay, we got there at the end. Yeah, bum-bum-bum. Mr. Silvermore. I like a vomit what's this inside? Vom, Vom, Vombe. I like to vomit

vomit, vomit. I like to vomit, vomit. I like to vomit, vomit. I like to vomit. With one of these two, do you want to try? Gingerbread latte Imperial Stout or Northern Monk get baked Bertha World's famous

chocolate cake stout. That one. Because we've already had a gingerbread thing, haven't we? Yeah, that's true. This would be all right. It's probably far. Probably fine. So this is... Have you been chilled?

Has these been chilled? These have been chie for a few days. They've been cheesed. They've been chees for a few days. You get my man chovy cheese on that. Manchovee cheese, governor. All right, governor. Oh, rub your knob on that.

Rub you'll nub your nubbing on my gubern. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just going into like fucking like airplane mode. It's just fucking terrible. You're going into airplane mode. Yeah. Gooy, decadent, sweet, luxurious, thick, sticky, rich. With love, Bertha.

Who's Bertha? Oh, you know what I had yesterday as well? Who's Bertha? I had a Yule log. How did you flush it? It was very good. What a Yule log? It's like a chocolate log.

Oh, it's just a chocolate log? No, it's shaped like a log and looked like a log. Was it cream on the inside or chocolate cream on the inside? It's like mashed up figs and dates on the inside. Oh, that's horrible. No, it's not. It is. I find that horrible.

You're just wrong. You're wrong. You would have loved this. No. And they had said, not told you. It was dates. No, I don't like that stuff. it sets me off and I will know.

Right, I'm opening the birth stout, chocolate famous cake, Northern Monk, get baked. Well, it tastes like chocolate. Do you want to have a snuff before I pour it? Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Smell me.

Sniff it. Oh, dear. I'm going to have a teased out. It's a nice smell, actually. It's a nice smell, it's very chocolatey. So these were given to me from a birthday earlier this year, and I just haven't gotten around to them. I thought I'd save them for now.

Oh, dear, realize I was having a turn for the first. Oh, man. Right. Okay. I'm having a taste of the chocolate cake. Here we go. Three, two, one, two, one. He just wants to hate it. He doesn't like it. You know what? It is fine. I'm not, you know what it is? I'm just not in the mood for a stout right now. I'm not in the mood for anything. It's very chocolatey. It's got that kind of stout after-taste, kind of licoricey lingering. Oh, it's too sweet for me.

Too sweet. Is that too sweet. Yeah. Too sweet. Too sweet. It's too syrupy. I mean that's what they're going for But for me that has a very syrupy It's like drinking a cake or something Everything I've added to my mouth In the past half hour has been a mistake The only thing I've enjoyed so far

Was our pub drink And then you're old-fashioned And the pickles And the pickles Everything else has been nasty pasty mate Nasty You don't mind me saying Now listen it's our office Christmas party

It's our office Christmas party What would you like to do next Would you like to do crackers Or would you like to do presents what would you like to do, make? Let's do crackers before. Do you want to do crackers?

So we'll do the presents last. All right. In that case, Jarvis! Yeah, sir. Show me a Willie. Get it out. I've paid for you. You'll do what I want.

You just get it out. Get it out. Well, sir. One's not comfortable with her. I've asked for it. I've asked for it. I'm not with the back you are. Eli,

Sir, you back me up. I'm not going to back you up. You back me up. No, Jarvis, it's fine. Just leave, it's fine. Are you sure, sir? Did he pay you? Yes.

All right, good. That's fine. Your services, thank you. Do you want to see my penis, sir? No, no, no, no, no. That's not, no. Hold it, sir. No, we don't.

You sure, sir. I really, you, you're, thank you. Would you like to see my bummo, sir? Paul. No, I don't, Jarvis, I don't want to. My peckles, can I talk to Paul for a second. My peckles, meekle, my bobble! Just get Jarvis out of it.

Please. Jesus, wet. Whoa. Fuck off, Jarvis. kid. Crackers Eil and Fountain, hello everybody watching on the video of Patreon. I'm actually got mental health issues. Right.

That's very rude of you to say it. Thank you. There are Patreon people watching this segment of the show. that is being filmed right now hello to you hello right crackers Eli no I just so I thought I'd get something a bit different

this year I thought I'd get something a bit different this year right I'm scooching I'm scooching everyone that's why I'm groaning in the past I always get a family crackers with a shit toy in that we've always had and the same stupid joke so I got something a bit

different I got this it is the pub quiz crackers it is bring all the fun of the pub quiz to the dinner table with these trivia crackers. There are six tabletop pubs, each home to a different classic quiz category. So you can combine your questions to create your very own trivia tournament. There we go. Just snap your cracker, pop up your paper hype, hop, pop up your paper hat.

Get your pencil and paper ready and see who's got the biggest brains of the bunch. Set contains... It's me, spoilers. Six table crackers, each contains... 10 trivia questions, pencil, notepad, are we going to do this? Catchphrase,

joke card, paper hat, snap, and instructions. Are we going to do this? Yeah, we're going to do a few. Look how they're not the pulley crackers. They're not the pulley crackers. No, they're more like...

Well, you're lucky, because can we just point out? What was it? Party poppers. What did we do? We did crackers for one of our videos for Christmas. And who won every single cracket? Eli won it every time.

All right, that's fine. It was so funny. But these are more like party poppers and that you kind of pop at yourself. You know, you just pop it yourself. That's not a cracker. It is because it says. Because they go crack.

That's not a cracker's not that. That's not a cracker. This is bullshit already. And each one looks like a little... I'm out. Each one looks like a little pub. I hate this. Why?

It's fun. I want to own you on the cracker pulling. We've got one in the tree. Do you want one? Yeah, let's do it. Come on. There's one in the tree from last year. Ready?

Let's do this one. Ready, one two. Oh, and I won. Oh, when it matters most, I won. Do you the joke. there's a Taduku book in that Oh my God

What the fuck What the joke I'll guess the punchline What happened When the snow man Fell out with the snow girl Hey what happened She gave him the cold shoulder

Is exactly what it says on the car I was going to say It happened about chilly relations or something Yeah no but you were right Exactly Christmas children is not a date It is a state of mind Says Mary Ellen Chase Christmas Day

I'm going to put my hat on. Christmas children. That's what it says. It says Christmas is not a day. Do you want to read? Oh, Christmas children. No, read it. It's that bottom thing in the bomb.

Yes, but you didn't put the fucking full stop in, did you? Yeah. You said Christmas children. I've put the hat on. I've got my Christmas hat on. Now Christmas is happening. I put you meant Christmas children as in children of Christmas. No, read it if you can. I can't fucking see that.

Right, I'm going to do this. Now, how does it say you do it? Squeeze the chimney. Right, you've got to pull the chimney up. Pull the chimney. Can I have a go? You do yours first. face, bro.

You do yours first then. Oh, that didn't work very well. You've got to pull it off. Yeah, you pull it up. Well, there you go. You know, you've got to get your thumbs in and open it up that way. So the little cardboard pubs.

Here we go. Here's a pencil. Hey, pencil. Nice little pencil. Little red pencil. Here's something. That's the general knowledge. There's something.

That's a pad. To write your answers down. Here's the hat. I'll put the hat on. You put your hat on. It's a year Lou hit. I'm sick. I'm sick of getting toys.

They'll just shit and you end up losing them anyway. No, I agree, but this is... Are we going to... Can we compete on trivia, please? There's a catchphrase card at the bottom. I don't know what that is. Oh, that's half broke on my head. That's because you've got a big head and these are tiny crowds.

What's the joke? Can you guess the joke? Go on. See, one for nil from the joke guessing, boy. All right, go on. Go for it. Give me a joke. What is a dog? Oh, do you want me to pick a different thing? No, no, because you love dogs, aren't you?

All right, go on. You love fucking dogs. I love them. Tiny little fucking sexy hip. God, please And grab their tails Stop it Fucking get all your meat in Stop

Pedigree charm Rubrubs Doing drunk episodes man What is It's such a bad thing What is a It's finished the fucking joke Do you know what

I'm so tired and fluie Don't care I am too And it's party time Come on me Listeners won our energy What is a dog's favourite musical instrument

Uh right Okay This is good Actually Is it the piano bone, piano, pian bone. You're almost there, man. Piano.

Is it piano? Piano, because dogs like the Piano. Oh my God, you're so thick. Pianbonio, is it? Dog's favorite thing is a bone. So what instrument has the word bone in? Trombone. Thank you.

Is it trombone? Of course it fucking is. I'm going to ask you some questions then. How about that? You didn't get that. General knowledge, Eli, who was the first Disney princess? Snow white. Yep.

Next question. How many pawns are there in a classic chessboard? Hey, you fucking knobbed. Come on, do you know that? How many pawns are there in a classic chessboard? Seven. Sixteen. How many pawns are there on a classic chessboard?

Yeah. Because you've got two rows of them. I don't know. I wouldn't get it wrong anyway. Which artist covered the piece, My Bed? Oh, who created, which artist created the piece, My Bed? in 1998. Come on, you know her.

What's her name? Why is her name not popping into my head? Her name is. Shut up. Her name is. That's a clue, actually. Is it? What?

My name is, where? My name is. Tracy E. E. M.E. Yeah, there you go. Oh, Jason E. M and M. Eminem. Hey, look you wow, straight here. That's good. Thank you.

That is the best thing you've done all day. Thank you. At least we got there in the end. Tracy Emin. What is the most common? Hey, Tracy M&M and M. Which is the most common letter in the English alphabet appearing in 11% of words.

E is correct. You're good at this, you're clever boy, aren't you? Which sewing craft uses X-shaped stitches to form a picture? Crochet. Crochet. No, no. Needle point.

No. Oh, come on. Picker, pick a pronse. It's correct. It's cross-stitch. Cross-stitch, of course. What are baby frogs called? Tadpoles.

Is correct. All you're doing, well. You're doing well. What was the most common pub name in the UK in 2024? What was the most common? I think I'd get this if it were the Queen's head. Oh, that is a good guess, but it is incorrect. Do you want to do one more? I'll give you one more chance. I think when you hear the answer, you go, yeah, of course. Not the coaching horses, not the Queen's Ed, not the King's Bishop, not the old lady twanga, the pig and pipe. I've never seen a pub called the old lady's twanguer for a pint. King's Arms.

No, the answer is the red line. Kick myself. I don't remember that for next. What author wrote James the Giant Peach? Rolled doll. Correct. What is the capital city of Egypt? Do you know?

Do you know, Eli? I want to say Cairo. And you'll be right to. And finally, what is the chemical symbol for silver? No, that's gold. A-U is gold. A-U. What is it?

It's something like that. It is something like that. As in it's... It's two letters. Letters. Go on. What was the question? Is it like A-U?

Is it A-U? No, because that's gold. We've already discovered that. What is it then? A-G is silver. Right, I'm going to do my cracker now. The Devour in. And I'm going to do it properly.

Here we go. Bang! Get off. You don't. Why have you got a hat? From what have you got a hat? From the first cracker we opened up? I really need a glass of water, man.

Hang on. Is that your cat's water over there? Yeah. Don't drink that. I'll get you a glass of water after this segment, mate. Don't you? I'm reading you the questions. You're going to read the questions, but I'm going to give you the joke.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So there's the notebook, there's the pencil. I have to guess the joke. I quite like that trombone. Wait, what? Oh, there's a catchphrase. Oh, I didn't do the catchphrase. It's a little picture.

It's going to be hard to do on a podcast, but it's a picture of, well, if I describe it, it's the answer. What do you think that is, the catchphrase? Like the TV show catchphrase. See what you see? Let the cat out the bag. It's correct. Right.

What about this one? Go on. Yeah. What was your... You've got to show me it because you can't describe it because it's a catchphrase. You've got to show me it.

So it's a snowflake and an arrow pointing to a person. So, I don't know. What's the answer? I don't know. A snowflake falling on a person? Snowman. What part of the person? Cold shoulder.

Yeah. Keeps coming up, doesn't it? Does it? Joke. Eli. What do ducks... Fet, what, why do ducks have feathers? Obviously, I think you might like this one, even though it's awful. Hey, why do ducks have feathers, Mr. Silverman, eh?

Why, why, why, why, why, why, why do ducks have feathers? Yeah, because it's a joke in reading it out, isn't it? No, but is it a pun, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why do dogs have feathers? Robotic motion driving a car. The reason I'm doing this is because I've got a slight echo in my headphones with the audio and my real voice. It's just a slightly like a robot. So in my head, I feel like I'm talking to a robot. I am a robot from the planet's Xbox.

Go on. Why do ducks have feathers, Ely? Because they're goose-flat-th-pond. Because they're goose flof-flop-flop-pond. Is that right? No, the answer is to cover their butt quacks. Oh my God! That

You weren't wrong I did like that Like now read me the questions That's what it says Yeah To cover their butt quacks The book quacks Read you what

Read me the questions Oh you're a cunt You haven't gone I haven't gone on them There you are I haven't got for them Come on Come on

Come on Once we've done this We just got presents Then we can both go home Last show of the year May make it count It's really called cumbling down That show the year

I can't see shit. I'll have to go stand over there. No. I'm going to have to go stand over there. You're, listen, it doesn't matter. Wait, and gone. Oh yeah, that's... Here you go, how about that?

Ready? Have that idea. Here we go. I've given him a little flashlight everybody, because Christ. Come on. Come on. What was the name of Taylor Swift's 2023-24 tour? Uh, it girl, sexy, real for sakes for true.

Tor. Maybe it was just... I call Taylor Swift 2023. It's on the back. Yeah, you give up, yeah? Yeah, give up. The eras tour. The eras tour.

Isn't she like 20? Does it... How can she have an era's tour? Oh, here we go again. You called the day of Thanksgiving an era earlier, so you can't talk. Epoch. Epoch merrily on high.

My bum most stinks of whiskey. Ding dong merrily on I. My penis, it smells risky. Rub and up your cup of Rom you come. Are you ready for your next question? I've got nothing, mate. I'm dry. I'm creatively dry.

Which 1928 Mickey Mouse short film entered the public domain in 2024? Steamboat Willie. I think we both know you're correct there. Is it? Is it correct? Thank you. Which infamous Batman villain? Oh.

starred in their own TV show in 2024. Oh, the penguin? Yeah. Yeah. Apparently is quite good. Well done. I don't care for it. Did it Colin Farrell play him in there? Yeah.

It was like a soprano, he kind of thing. Which infamous... Oh, that's the... Yeah, that's that one. How many gold medals? Yeah. Did Great Britain. Great Britain?

Win at the 2024, Paris Olympiad. Eight. Olympics. Eight. That's why I don't care, so eight. Fourteen. Oh, all right. Well, I've already beaten you.

Which... You haven't. Yes, I have. Which celebrity turned up at their own look-alike competition in... Yeah? ...2024. Uh... Taylor Swift.

No, you can get this. Was it a pop star? Movie star. Oh, movie star. Oh, Ryan, Ryan. Did you hear about this? No, I didn't actually. Timothy Shamalam.

Timmy Ram. Timmy rag. Shammie leather. Timothy Shammy leather. I didn't get that one either. Oh, that's all right. I don't care. I know you don't care, but it's not about caring.

I care. I care. It's not about care. You're a mind-melging chaos agent of country. Blob, blob, blob, like Mr. Blobby, yeah. Bob, Bob, Bob. That's what you're doing now. Yeah.

It's fucking whatever. Oh, dearie me. Oh, dearie dogs. Can you shut up? God, you despicable. Requestions to Paul Gannon. I mean, the word is Cretton, isn't it? Yeah, cratton.

What'd you say that? Cratton. Fugn war's. Dolphins have nothing to do with this. I'll put a hat on you. Okay, fine. Who was the Academy Award? Who won?

Who was the Academy Award? I don't know. Oscar. Oscar, wine, that's right now. That's right now. That's not the question. Oskar meena biscuits. Oh, I think I actually might vomit.

Oscar whine a penis. I'm just saying shit, now. You shut up. This has got to be the worst episode. That lipsy came out like without. What did you say that? It just came out.

That was good. That was good. Oscar beer. Oh, no. Oh, no. We finished these questions. It's the last thing we bloody do. Now, I'm not going to think about what you just said.

There we go. We're all on. Oscar Winnie Biscuitary. Shut up. Right. Who won the Academy Award for Best Actress? Oh. 2024 Oscars.

Come on, you can get this. Oh, what's her name? Oh, she was in. Oh. What film are you thinking? Oh. What film was it? Oh, I know, yeah

Was it her? I don't know I'm going to look I can't remember a name What's the first initial? Yes, you're thinking of the right person Who was in that I did an advert I did a audition for his advert

Yeah He's doing an advert Yeah The director, Yorgos He's called Yeah Remember? What's his name?

What's her name? She was in that And she's in What's, give me the initial The first letter Of her first name Of her first name E

E Didn't help And the last name S Emma Stone Right Thank you You got there

You were thinking of her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it. What's it called little things? Poor things. Poor things. Poor things. Pretty poor things.

Don't stop this, you know. Your letter is only the start of it. Can you not, please? One letter. That's actually quite a fast. And now you're a part of it. Shut up. Now you've done it.

Jim has fixed it for you. Please not do this. You really. To have a life of misery, misery. Can you stop? You've got fuck all of these. And I got most. I got like two.

Yeah, I mean, it's not over. Which European nation joined NATO in 2024? Which European nation did NATO? It was... European nation. Turkey or Greece. What you want? Sweden.

Oh, Sweden. I thought they were already part of it. No, well, there you go. There you go. No, it's not over, yes. All right, one more question. You hate... You're so thick.

It's just you're slow and you're boring, you're a doodling mouth. Doodle do. You're not thick. You're just your... You're not that good at... trivia. That's because I don't need to put my head full of facts, do I? Which infamous 24 Willy Wonka experience

took place in which city? Is that Glasgow? The infamous, yeah, well done. Yeah. Well done. That was the infamous. Infamous, the infamous shitty. It's all very prescient these questions. It's like current affairs or something. That's not what prescient means. Oh, close enough. It's not close enough. It's present. Present. They're all very present. They're all very present

stories, aren't they? The word you're looking for is contemporary. No, that means when you make a cake, in it? That's not... I hate the way you can't... You actually can't get a handle on that word prescient, can you? It's very press interview to say, isn't it? It's not very prescient of me to say it. It's actually very pressing you to bring that off. No, you shut your ugly, gross, stupid mouth.

Sorry. He's done it. He has done it. Well, I ate you butler. Where's that butler? Oh, don't have that release. Fuck, let's get in the questions. You can bring in the presents in a minute.

Which popular James Blunt album was re-released in 2024? Album? Yeah. Which popular album? So it's a soundtrack to score? No. Why would that be a score? What is the score?

An album is like an LP It's like an album that a music artist puts out A Bond one you said James Blunt Oh Blunt I thought he said James Bond That's why I was confused Okay fair

Fair enough I didn't say that But I mean Don't know You don't know the name of his big album You're beautiful That's the song But you're beautiful to me

Do you don't remember what the LP was called I'm a posh I'm a posh Ex-Army singer man Volume 1 Back to Bedlam Back to Bedlam I remember that

I don't remember. And the last question for you, should you choose to play? I've done very well here. I've done very well. So badly. Ganon's done very well. In 2020, you called me, you called me clever there when I was doing that way. You are, you are clever man.

Oh, now I'm clever. Yeah, when you're warming to me. Treviour. Yeah, Trevor. Trevor. Trevor's trivia. Hello. Shut up.

All right. Fair plate. In 2024. Yeah. The hardest geyser. Oh, the hardest geyser. Around the length of Africa. How many countries did he travel through?

Wait, what? The hardest geyser. The hardest geyser is the name of a man. That's what it seems to be implying. I've never heard of the hardest geyser. The hardest geyser. And he went through Africa. Around the length of Africa.

And he went through a number of countries. And how many countries did he travel through? Probably like 30 odd or something, isn't it? Oh, they're saying how many countries are there, end to end in Africa? So, I don't know. I've been like 30? No, what is it? 16.

Oh, what's half, right? You weren't even half right I was 16 is almost half of 30 It's more than half of 30 Well that was half right then No I am at least half right Yeah I'm at least half right

I think that's valid Can I lie down No we're recording Fucking stay present This is the trendy Can I do more questions Yeah Yay

Bang I don't like the bangs on these They don't really work that well Do they need the pull and pull Don't you To you know what I mean The combative pull and pull The competition

Yeah to make the bang work Yes that's why I complained at the beginning Now he's, see, he's coming around to my way of thinking, everybody. Right, there's a pencil, there's a always, joke and catchphrase, joke and catchphrase. Oh, there's two cards, you can have one, I can have the other. Why, there's two cards in there? Right, what's your catchphrase? Right, what's that one?

What's that? Oh, it's the same one, mate. Oh, is it? Yeah. Oh, that says pepper it. Does that mean we've got the same joke? Yeah, I'm not, I haven't looked at it there. All right, if you have 13.

What is the catchphrase? Pepper it? It's not a catchphrase. It's not at all. It's, it's peppery. I mean, that sucks, bro. If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Massive hands.

It's the correct answer. And then it says, take it. Oh, we were wrong. Let's not pepper it. Oh, you fucking cunt. This is you not. I thought it was pepper too. But it's not.

You didn't read it, did you before you said it was peppery? I didn't read it. I just presumed. So what is it, do you think? No. Um, shh. Oh, take it with a pinch of salt. Take it with a pinch of salt.

It. Yeah. Take it. Pepper it with a pinch of salt. Oh, not a case. Right, questions. Do you want me to read them out to you? Yes.

You want to be clever clogs? I won't be clever clogs. Right. If you get, there's 10 of these. If you get eight, right, I'll give you a 10 pounds. Every time it's 10 pounds. It's always a 10 pounds. It's always a own money.

I walk into the cash machine. Right. Question one. For which country does the chocolate biscuit brand Tim Tam originate? Australia. Is correct. Aduki Borloff. Oh, my God.

Beads. Beads. A type of beans is correct. What chef is known for creating reggae reggae sauce? Leroy Sibbles. No. It's not Leroy Sibbles. It's called Leroy something.

No. Grant's. No. Levi Roots. Levi fucking roots. I knew it was slightly close to it in some respect, right? You got to get all these right now. Leroy Sibbles is a singer.

Yeah. In which country? Where Fortune Cookies Invented. USA. Is correct. A common misconception that there are a Chinese delicacy, which they are not. Who were the original judges of the Great British Bake-off? Who were they, Eli?

Who were the two judges of the British Bake-off? We're looking for two judges here. That's only many judges they've ever had. I'm going to need an exact name for you. No, you're not going to need an exact name. That's how games like this were. No, I should be able to say that guy Paul with a beard. No, because that could be

Any Paul with a beer It's called Bellendium. Bellendium, Paul Bellendium. And I dare, I'm Paul Bellendium. You're all fucking cake taste shit. Fucking cake taste shit. Now, I'd fucking watch it. My name's Paul Bellendium.

What's he called? Paul Trousen Man or something. No, there's another person as well. Yeah, but you know what I mean, don't yet? You know what I refer to it? Yeah, but I know, but that's not what the answer is, is it? I don't know. The answer is, if you know what you're made to talking about, give him the point.

Oh, Mel. Malka Jopwinksky was the other one, wasn't it? No, that's the comedian. Melka with Jewinsky. Glyglobsklobs. Gobbles. Gobbles. I've fancied her for years, even though it's weird. She is your type, actually. Weirdly, yeah. A blonde one out of Mellon.

Mellin. Mellin, Kinn. Respect. Moll. Come on, you don't know it. The answer is Mary, Berry and Paul. Hollywood. Hollywood, yeah. How many have I got three? You've got three so far, right? You've got two wrong. Put it that way.

And this is question six. Which coffee chain first introduced a pumpkin spice latte in 2003? Starbucks. Is correct. Starbucks is correct. In nutrition, what does GI stand for? Glycemic index. Is correct.

Very well done. What two vegetables are used to make nips and tatties? Turnips and potatoes. No. One of those is right. One of those is wrong. Nips and tatties. Nips and tatties.

You fucking don't touch me. Your tatties. My tits. Is it not potatoes? I'm not going to tell you which one of you're right or wrong. It's turnips and potatoes. It's not, apparently, according to this. All right, I've got it wrong then.

It's Sweden potatoes. Oh, fuck. I know, but it's... What is spicier? Red Thai curry or green Thai curry? Green is correct. And finally, if a martini were made with a twist, what garnish would be added to it? Lemon peel.

It's correct. Well, done you got six right out of ten there. Was it only six? Yeah, because you got four wrong. That's how the maths work. Which do you get wrong? You got Levi Roots wrong. Merry Berry, Poor Hollywood wrong.

Sweden potato wrong. Oh no, that's it. Free them. Okay, we've got seven right then. Still very good innings. It's only one off the eight that you would have given me a tenor for. I know, but either way, you're not getting a tenor, and that's the main thing to take away from this.

You're an absolute monster. Let's have a little break, and we're going to do all the presents because you've got a lot of presents to get through. I'm sorry, everybody that I've been so mute. Here we go. A little violin come out so with. does a tiddly, diddle-de-d-l-de-d-do. Is that the name and the main...

Jarvis. Oh, please. Jarvis. Yes. The voice has changed again. It's not. It's the same voice. Shut up. Would you like anything, sir, brought in?

Yes, actually, Jarvis. Eli, what would you like? I'd like a rock of crack. Rock of crack. And a glass pipe. A glass pipe. Up your ass. Yes.

I want you to blow crack smoke up. my asshole. You do as he says. I'll get into this now, Paul. You do it. You do what Eli says. You put it up his bum on with a straw or something. No, don't put it in my butt.

Just blow it up. I'll hold my butt. I'll hold my own bum open, thank you. As it Jewish. Sorry, I'm fucked up. Is he turning to Yoda or something? Let's get, come on. Let's have a break.

As you wish, sir. Right, yeah, piss off. We'll see you in a bit. Let's have a little break. break. We're going to have to do a big talk. Shakes and sizes, littering fries, sharing them all about Quality, policy, policy, policy street

Policy, quality, politics, politics, politics, The bucket will come with the people be drunk By Joe, it's Barry, what have you there? Lots of goodies from you know where I think he means from Brut. Yes, Christmas gifts from Brute 33. Very tastefully rat, you must agree. So give someone close.

the perfect gift giving brute 33 on the 25th we said brute 33 on the 25th we said brute 33 on the 25th we said group 33 on the 25th we said group 33 on the 25th Hollywood night's red or whether you're after the latest workout video from kathy smith or a brand new collection of song and dance from kiley minogue a video makes a great gift approaching middle ear and with family films like steven's inner space the real Ghostbusters and hot new movies like Blind Date. You'll find something for everyone under the tree at Hollywood Nights. Look for the lights. Hollywood Nights. Christmas time at Gamley's, where children's dreams are made. Hornby Railways. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Tomy time fun. At Gamley's, there's a whole shop full

of exciting toys. Pick up the new Gamley's Christmas Catalog soon. Gamley's where children's dreams come true. Enjoy yourself. It's lighter than your faint. Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pain.

The years roll by as quickly as a wing. Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. and you think enjoy yourself. Jervis, darling. Come to Paulie Woo, you little devil, you man, devil you boy. Stop abusing that guy.

Yes. Bring in the presents, please, would you, darling? They're just outside on the side next to the side. Why don't call them darling? You've got no idea how wealthy people are, do you? I've been nice to. You were never exposed to wealth at all your whole life, were you? I've got wealth.

I've got pretty coins chinkling through me. fingers. Like, why? Ew. Eh. Listen, listen. Hello everyone. Little peep behind

the beef curtains. A little peek behind the slimy beef. A little peep behind the persons. The placentate. Ploncate. No, what was that thing on the walk the other day? The walk. Plankulet.

Plankulet. No, it was Plankulet labia. Oh, yeah. Is it plankulate? Percumulet labia or something like that. Pecumbulet? Yeah, no, plumbulet. pulumbulet, bulambia

Plunculate Plunculate Polunculate belavia What do you point Anyway I don't know No, my point is No point is

My point is mate Yeah Oh You were saying Yeah Peel back the curtain Yeah go on You were saying

I was One last push Come on Eli It's the last episode of the year One last push One last push Got to get through this How of energy

And then you sit there you do that By all means use words, mate, but don't feel compelled on my count. Oh, here we go. He sits there on his strict word using mountain, telling me to try using words. You literally have a fucking clip from last week's episode where you go, don't you? If getting angry brings your energy up, how right. Come on.

Don't you? Vicks Sniffer, hey? I'm having a go. Oh, big boy sniffing the Vix. Oh, look at him. Big boy sniffing the Vix. It will help with the sound quality of my voice. Sniffing Vicks, Nix.

What's that one that, where they have a suite, that advert, where they have a sweet, and then they go all posh. Oh, yeah. Gronbila. Gronbilla, isn't it? Isn't it called grobular? Gropula. Gropula.

Isn't it called gropula or grombila or something? Gronia. Do you know what, Paul? Gronia. It's like, today something has happened with your effort. The brain effort has literally gone through the seat. Can I just say, through the sea? A little peek behind her key, beefy curtains.

I have worked these five last four nights on random overnight and my brain is farting out. Yes. The synapses. At least he's admitted to it. Snips, snap, snoop, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. Your presence, sir. Thank you, Javis.

Walk off. Thank you. Stop doing that. And took yourself in. He's immaculate. Here we go. There we go, presents for us. Who sent these?

Let me read this out. No, but honestly, everyone, thanks for supporting us. Thank you so much for listening to Cheap Show. If you've been enjoying what we do, thank you very much. How you could is beyond me sometimes, especially this nonsense. He's coming out with today. The Paul and Eli, shut up, Eli, says that in the letter. Oh, yeah, what else does he say?

Shut up, Eli. You're talking too much in this episode. Does he say, boy, howdy? Oh, boy, how oldy. Yeah, here we go. De Paul and Eli, it's never too early for Christmas. Both items were found that dollar tree. This is from America.

Idolatry. Good. Which has some fun stuff for you if you can dig through all the tat. Paul, there was part two of your gift, but mailing it internationally turned out to be illegal. I wonder what that was. Scat. Keep up the great work, fingers crossed for more rewards, and Merry Christmas. Thank you.

And this is from, is that Evie, do you think? Is that you thinking this is Evie? What do you think that says? Evie, Eric. Eric or Evie, thank you. It's Eric, isn't it? We've got a present each. Thank you, Eric.

Yes, no, because I know who Eric is. Do you? The teacher in America. Oh, it is. You remember? Who chooses our podcast erroneously? Okay. Yeah, no, well, I'm going to shake your hand.

Okay. Give you a little palm wriggle. Thank you. I like it. A little palm wigg. That's giving me a little tinge in my wanky chaffed. Like two presents. Eric, thanks very much.

Here's your present. Oh, it's got Snoopy wrapping on. Oh, it's got peanuts wrapping. That is excellent touch. That is wrecking. I don't want to ruin this. I know, but... I love this.

Yeah, that is so... I mean, I'm going to tear it, but I'll do it. Are these from the Christmas for TV specials? I presume so. I think it must be, mustn't it? Oh! What have you got? Oh!

I have a... Sight Kick of Salem tarot and horoscopes. Oh, it's... It's an empty box. That must be... Part two must be. So it was part two, the tarot card, and that's illegal. And you can't send tarot...

So he's just sent me a box. I've just got a box, Eric. You've just sent me a box that says Psychic of Salem, Tarrow and Horaceos. You can't send them because they're witchy. Is that true? You can't send tarot. It's a nice box.

You put that on his shelf. I mean, I presume that's what pot. I mean, what am I going to do with a box, Eric? Put some cards in it or something. It's nice. I like it. It looks like a book, like a magic book. Yeah, it doesn't like a magic book.

It looks like a pink magic book. But it's empty. I'm opening my. Well, what have you got? I've got vinyl coasters. Oh, that's all right, in it? You like vinyl. Play a coaster set.

That's all right, isn't it? That's one of your things. That's all right, in it? It is all right in it, though, isn't it? It is. What do you want? At least you've got a present. I got a box.

Hey, it's an actual record player with coasters on it. It's not an actual. Look at that. That's good. Oh, that is good. The racket comes with looks like a little record player.

Yeah, that's the holder. Yeah, and does it go over? It does. That's good. Good, that. Oh, I'm getting... Fucking... Yeah.

I had those drinks turned. Oh, I'm... I feel like I have a fever. I think I'm coming down with the flu, which everyone's getting. Two, three... Are this proper vinyl, do you think? No.

I don't think it's a real record, but is it made from vinyl? No. No. Maybe. You know, vinyl is just... Oh, look. Yeah, it looks...

Actually, yes, the detailing is good. Yeah. It's good detail. I like that. PVC. Yeah. That's vinyl. Okay.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a... What a lovely thing. That's all right. That's all right. it. Yeah. A little box.

I got a empty box. I want to check something. It must have been the illegal thing, but it was in the box. Is it illegal to send tarot internationally? Devil worship. It is not generally illegal to send tarot cards internationally, as they are basically playing cards. However, the legality depends entirely on the destination.

Country-specific laws regarding items related to fortune-telling witchcraft or religious beliefs. There's no laws here about that. think there is. Eric, do let us know what part two was, please. What is part two? Because I'm confused. Although in Oklahoma,

Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Carolina, tarot cards and fortune telling is banned. Wow. Illegally, apparently. So maybe he comes from one of those states? Yeah. I don't know.

Either way, I got a box. And you got cool coasters. Do you want them? No. Well, then. I don't need coasters in my life. Why not? I don't put me tea down on anything.

It's nice. It hovers above the table. people. Hoverty. Hoverty. Did you hear the way he went and made elongated that's that

just try and fill it in this? Yeah. I'll just do a tone. No, you shut up. Up. Uh, uh, barbara. I was thinking that too. I was going to go

barbaba, ba-babababababababababababababab. Blue moon. No, that's blue moon. I was seen Barbaray. I know, but it's all the same kind Barbaran. Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Bar Barrean. Yeah, it's a great song.

It was the Beatles who wrote that and they gave it to the Beach Boys to sing. And Paul McCarty went, oh, oh, you like that? Wow. You like that? Right. This is the grand finale, right? This is the big one. Are you ready for it? Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the big box. So bear with me, Jarvis! Bring in the big box. Oh, God, sir. Yes, sir, that's my baby now. Oh, by the way. Oh, by the way. When I meet that preacher, I'll say,

Yes, sir, that's my baby. I know, sir, don't mean, maybe. Yeah, sir, that's my baby now. Your big box, sir. Oh, just put it down there. Right, here we go, mate. Get out the way. Because this...

Put it down there. When I got sent this, I thought, I've got to save this for Christmas for various reasons. Here we go. It's been behind us the whole time on the set. Mate, look at this big fucking box. It's massive.

Have you got space? Look at this. Oh, it's a big boy. It's a big boy. Wow. What we got there? That's from the other week. I just fell in there.

Okay. A lot of packaging cardboard. Try not to get it. I've got to clean all this in us. But look, there's fucking annotated sheets and everything with this. I'm not because it'll tell you what they are. Look at this. Look at this plastic sheets.

Dear lovely little Cheap Show boys. Thank you so much for years of outrageously unique entertainment. Nothing has ever made me laugh as hard as Cheap Show. You've both been a wealth of comfort, motivation and hilarity through tough times. You're amazing. please find and close a bunch of gifts still working on my way up to the latest 100 episode so apologies if you've covered these items already included as a mix of retro and modern toys entertainment etc hope you enjoy your toy box love and all the best joe first

p s if you ever want to come round here a orkney islands very northern scotland i'll happily josh you both off well that's not really my deal i thank you very much will put a book in that though is this the same thing twice put a pin in that so we've got all these items and do you say put a button in now why do you say that put a button in it I hate stick a sticker on it hate that so much boy by howdy you're gonna have to put up with it aren't you

right don't you touch because I've got to give you these an order got to give you these an order is it Joe this is amazing content box he's got laminated directions look at the wrap in that's beautiful I just open it there's what I need to say for the end this feels to me like vinyl it does feel like vinyl but look at the rapid it is wrapped beautifully in what looks like modernist buildings oh yeah look

there's i can name this do you want me name so yeah go for it may name the thing on the wrapper that's the national that's the national that's the national that's the national that's the national do you recognise that yeah that's that's center point no that's that's that round one in croydon oh yeah yeah he's just going to look off the mic now and look at all those oh yeah that's trellick tower there's a detail it could be it could be trellick or it could be the other one it's probably Trallick, though, because it's quite famous. Yeah, but he did something very similar down in East London. But everyone remembers Trallet. Who?

Who? Who designed Trellick Tower? No, you have to remind me. Yes, you do. Well, remind me, because I've had a few drinks, mate, and I'm surprised. James Bond. He didn't design that. Oh, Goldfinger. Oh, Rone Goldfinger. Er no. No. No. No. No. Goldfinger. So, right, you open it up, and then I'll tell you what's in there. Oh, is it for? Oh, is it for? I don't know until you open it. Because some of these are obvious, and then some of these are...

Okay, fine. Well, we can make a decision. Listen, this is... Because it says Paul and Eli, blank, and then it tells you what the wrapping paper is. This is wrapped this paper. Honestly. You can't? You then do it?

I can't. I've ripped it already. Oh, mate. That's a shame. But you can still save a scrap of it for something, right? I'm going to... You can just... I'm going to keep the front.

Yeah, you're right. Oh, pin it up. Open it up. I'm opening this up. It feels like nicely packed finals. Nice work. Come on, love. All right, love.

Spit spot. What's in there? The way he says that's really annoying as well. Yeah, well, everything I do is annoying, isn't it? It's like everything I do is annoying. It kind of is, yeah. Yeah, everything you do is annoying. A completely different, more insidious way.

And a more insidious. Yeah, it's like you banging the microphones all the time, not speaking into the mic, those kind of things. Bang in the mic again. Shut up. Not being present. This is too well wrapped. Too well wrapped.

Can you get the other end? No, no, pinch it. I am pinched it. Pull up, yeah. Just pinch. No, that's not working. That's not working, Paul. Pinch the end.

I can't get my fingers on enough purchase to get the end off. Well, try. That's what I keep saying. No, forget it. Forget it. I've got it. Open it up. What is it?

Very well packed. It is very well packaged. Oh, there's a sevens just fall on the floor. Oh, there's a few sevens. This is Children Talking from the famous BBC series. Oh, I've never heard of that. And there's another one here, which is all about animals, what are kids called Strasch Green.

And it's a Sesame Street book and record, don't you? If you snatch, I'll smack this in your head. Let me finish. A message to the parent from the producer of Sesame Street. So it seems like an official Sesame Street vinyl. I need, I want.

Have a look at that. I'll see what it says on here. I love this so much. Oh, green Sesame Street records. Bruteless rapping. Yeah, music for pleasure. Children Talking, produced by the BBC. Columbia of Sesame Street

all about animals' vinyl record from USA. Thank you so much. I love this. Hey, Susan. Let's sing a song all about what different animal babies are cold. Okay, but you started. Okay. Cats have kittens. Doggies have pups. Right. Horses have pretty holes. And sheep

have lambs. Well, cows have calves, and I bet you didn't know that elephants have calves too. Lions and leifters have cuts Which is the proper thing for them to do Peacocks Look at that There's a non-off brand curmit I'm going to show you to the Caput Because you know Kermit was one of the few Muppets

That also appeared on the Sesame Street As a reporter I thought that was Kermit at his best Hey-ho Kermit D-Frag here No but do Kermit as the reporter Hey-ho Kermit de Frog here standing outside

Miss Biggie I love this. I have to admit, I have seen... Oh, you have seen that. Can I have seen that? Can I have a little talking one? So side one, what? Where do babies come from?

It's all got like kids like that, Oh, my mom says it's a big fanny comes out and there's a big store. We can revisit these in later episodes, right? Produced by Michael Barton, now station manager at BBC Radio Sheffield, narrator and interviewer Harold Williamson. Wait. Oh, so this is an album where they interview kids. Yeah.

And they play it on the area. So like, where do you think kids? come from little boy. They play it on the area. Play it on the air in your area. That's what I meant. Oh, mate.

Sometimes, so you think this is like, hello young boy, little Timmy boy. Where do you think babies come from? Yes, that's what it is. Yeah, go on, you play baby. So little boy,

where do you think babies come from? Am I too young to talk? No, you said I was a baby. You said little baby boy. No, I said, where do babies come from? Be clear, please. Can you be clear. Say, hello, little boy.

Where do babies come from? You fucking shit. Oh, you're swearing. I'm talking to Eli now. He's a fucking shit. Right, let's start again. Hello, little boy. Where do you think babies come from?

Come out from, my dad says to me, he said, I asked him, man, he says to me, mom's got a very pox. he's got a There you are A Pongy hole Right in the front And sometimes you can smell it Right okay

Oh good Now that's great That's exactly what we want today Well there we go Back to the studio Michael Back to the studio Michael This kid's got issues

This kids are fucking problem. Oh my God, I crack myself up with that fanny smelling stuff so much. Next one. Next one, Eli. Oh, stop. You shouldn't have made me go there, man.

You shouldn't have made me go there. Brilliant. There's two blue wrapping papers. Almost completely lost it there. I know. Keep focused, mate. Keep focused. Right.

Oh, I really made me laugh, man. Right. two packages blue wrapping these are for both of us okay so we've got two packages here beautifully wrapped everything seriously joe beautifully packed thank you so much this is fantastic it's almost sad to wrap it it is all of it yes yeah love the brutal list yeah it's been impeccably packed and put together the brutalist i've got no issues right here we go I've got a lot of mess to clean off oh what's this it's tomeat oh oh what's this tomeat module auto bulldo

Oh it's in Hang on It's modular A square That turns into a chunky Bulldozer Simply pulling and twisting Makes a bulldoze

That's ready for work I've got an aeroplane Have yeah Look at that Do you prefer the plane You can have both Mate I'll let you have both

Actually no I like I do like this one The Bulldozer Féche de se Formage de la amusement Vehicle le tut This is like that Rabbit I've got

It's like the rabbit But vehicles Because it sort of turns into a geometric shape. God, I love these so much. Oh, this one's a bit... These are mint. Almost mint, yeah.

This looks... Oh, look at that. Look at that. Paul, I love that. I want your one so much. All right, you can have that one. That's a bulldozer. It's got wheels and shit.

Fucking great. This is one of the best things I've ever seen. Look at that. Mr. Grimsdale. Look at that's a little bulldozer. That is so, there's something about that, the aesthetic of that bulldozer. Oh, I love these. I love these.

Look at this, it's a little plane. Yeah, the bulldozer one. Oh, look, it opens up. Oh, no, it's a triangle. Oh, I see. I see. It is a triangle first. It's a triangle first.

And then it transforms. The balldozer is a square first. Turns into a play. Actually, the plane's quite clever. Actually, the plane's quite clever when you think about it. Do you want to hang on to that? Maybe I will, yeah. We'll do swapses.

I love this. Yeah. I love this bulldozer so much. God, I love that. That's my best thing I've seen all day Yeah, it's good that I love these tommy toys Thank you Joe

Next one God this is a cornucopia There's a jar of stuff There's a jar of time It looks like a monster in my pockets And muscle men Let's have a look I see what they've written down

There's packaging Wrapping Look, it's a bike reflector Yeah so these were chunky changers They were called Modular Aircraft and modular bulldozer At right next No chunky changes

With those chunky changes Yeah that's what they're called choking chunky changers Paul and Eli plastic container gold lid contains a few classic 1989 Kellogg's reflectors a staple of childhood backpacks

That's what that is That's what they are I used to have those And you stick them on your spokes On your bike And they're reflective So a car don't run you over on the road You got them free with

Well this case It would have been frosties Because you've got Tony Tiger It's weird how things Keep coming up Because we talked about ESO Yeah earlier today There's the cock

From Corn Flakes Excuse me Oh pardon madam me darling What else is in it? Pink Panther? Pink Panther. Oh, a little pink panther? What's he holding?

There's also Mattel Mini-Boggling's in there. Mini-Boggling? There's a mini-boggling. It's a little god. I love mini-bogglins. I'll have them. Lacking the highly perjable rubbery hand puppet quality of the 1987 largest siblings,

Mattel Minibloglins are small, hard, plastic-mouldered trinkets. Yeah. Oh, my God. Can I share me? One mini-boggling. Yeah, we can go through that. And then they also have 1996 Monster Sports Stars in My Pocket. These, I think.

So, yeah. Collectibles from the Clough of Frosties. Is that the Beast from X-Men? Is that Beast from X-Men? No. Well, this one says here, including a teen Yeti-like surfer, smiling delightly in his bulgy smugglers. So, yeah, it must be that one.

Oh, here's a were-wall. That's the little Yety one. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, Pink Panther. 1972 Pink Panther commercials. So that's from 1972, that Pink Panther thing. Fucking Panther thing.

Cool, man. And it came with some Pink Panther cereal. Oh, God, all of this stuff, such great time. I always thought it was a Shakespeare reference with him holding a school, but it appears to be a cheeseburger instead. Yeah, I was going to say burger. Yeah. Oh, look, classic muscle guy.

Yeah, muscle man. So that's in that pot then. All right, so we move on. We've got to move on. We've got to keep moving it, baby. I think there's three boglins. No, there's plenty boglins. There's another bogling.

There's a bogling with an ice cream cone on its head. Yeah. Do you remember that one? I do. You do? I've got a bigger version of that up on a shelf somewhere. Oh, my God. What a fantastic cornycopia of Tats.

We'll try and take some pictures of show this. This is a real highlight of the whole year. Isn't it? That's why I thought I'd save it for our office party finale. Don't you think that was the right decision? Yes. Because, mate, the gifts don't stop coming. Here's a quick one.

There's no box for this. You might like this one. No rapping. It says a 1991 blurb ball by Ertel, a gross out rubber ball character, housing, a projectile insert for four full torment. This one's called sharky skorg-squirt.

So it's a big kind of ball that looks like a shark and when you squeeze it you can fire out a little projectile. Don't fire at me face. It's not working. The monkey face is not coming out. What's in it? This is weird. Really weird. This one comes from their own

childhood toy box and still contains a waft of attic. For some reason I assume the projector was the Egyptian mummy with headdress. Don't fire in the face. It's all right. You've got glasses on. Rather than a skeletal diver who's been chewed up by the shark.

That's what it's meant to be. But he looks more like a mummy. Yeah, he does, because he's got some jewellery on. Does have a powerful pot, but needs precise placement and tough squeezing to properly damage Friends property. There we go. Where did he go, though? I don't know you've...

Oh, shit. It's probably behind your feet now. No, he went over there. Well, then I don't know where it's gone. You've lost the monkey head. It's a diver. It's not. It's a pharaoh.

No, it says, no, it says, you think it looks like that. But it's actually a diver that's been eaten by the shark, isn't it? Yeah. He says, right now on eBay, they go for 50, 60 quid each. Fuck me. Find that head. Designed by James Groman, who also designed Am Toys' 1986 Mad Balls. Right, so there we go.

Next thing. So we'll have that. You found the little thing you fired. Yeah, but I hadn't fired it in the last bit. Because we lost the audio a little bit. Right, little explaining to do, everyone. No, don't move on. It's fine.

He fired it, we lost it. We found it. No, we didn't say how much it was worth. We did. Didn't we? Yeah, we did. Because I said the 50 quid thing. thing wrong before I said it was designed by the guy who did

Amtoy's. So yeah, I did say it first. We found the diver now, so all is well. Paul will find out in the edit whether he did. I found out now, Gannon knows best. Right next present. A red and white striped envelope of some kind. This is a fantastic bunch of stuff. Thank you again, Joe.

It is a fucking great thing. I love this shark with the diver thing head, man. I love it. And those tomy things are actually giving me actual fluid flow into the knobskin. Mate, everything so far is generating fizzing in my gizzards. Oh. Right, next one is this red and white striped...

Okay, can I? Envelope, yes. So I didn't mean to grab. No, go on, you can... Oh, this is for me specifically these, actually. Well, I'll open it and give it to you, yeah? Why? All right, fine.

Why would I... It's for me specifically. So let me have a look. Ghostbusters. That's my Predict. Do you think? I know what it is, because I saw what the listing said there, and that's why I'm excited to open this.

This is the stuff that makes Gannon's. Christmas. Indiana Jones or Ghostbusters. I mean, it might be related to that. I haven't seen the content yet. Oh, you just know what kind of thing it is. Oh, it's a couple of looking issues. Oh, look at that. From the 70s, including Muppet album and stickers. Oh, I've never seen one that old. No, it's a

70s one. That's fucking great, man. This has got, just give you an idea of, it's got an actual painted, illustrated cover. Yeah. Celebrities actually someone took the time to paint. The guy who used to design these covers was also a movie post designer for films like, you know, on the bus is the movie. That really looks like a movie poster of the style.

Brilliant. Oh, that's brilliant. Again, we might go into more detail with this later. Let's name a few of these. It's my stuff. You don't. Can I just name them, though? You point and I name.

All right. You point an eye name. All right. Let's both try and name all of these. Well, that's Sapphire and Steel, the TV show. That's Joanna Lumley. Yeah. Who was that actor called?

Oh, he was in the Man for Munkul as well. What was he called? Peter. Peter Dipsons. Anyway, Sapphire and Steel. You're not being serious. Duke St. John. Is that Duke St. John?

No, I don't know who... I made that name up. I don't know who Duke's Stead John. That's a stew pot. You're the guy who called Stupot. I recognize this guy. Yeah, Richard O'Sullivan, who's in all those sitcoms like Robbins nested.

He's got a very distinctive face, does that? Kermy! Kirby the frog! Again! Owee, Owee, Owee, Owee, Owee, Oe, Oe, some footballer. He's got Guy Owee, Oe, Oe, Oee.

Look at the packet on that footballer. I'm Kirby de Frog, Oe, Oe, Oe, Yeah, I like it when he said. I like it as well. Buck Rogers and the lady from Buck Rogers. And look, it says it came, it might not come with now, but it says it came with Muppet stickers.

Super Muppets, should we have a look and see if it's inside? I bet you it's not, no. But we'll find out. Because I think we'll go into this at a later date on its own because I always like going back to looking. Oh no, it's two issues of looking. And the other one's got Benny Hill on

and no more Richard O'Sullivan and then I don't know who that count is. Do you know who on that one? He's a man with a face. Does that help? No idea. I don't know. He's a comedian as well, top TV comedian.

So, no Muppet annual there. How do you know there's no Muppet stickers? It's not annual stickers. It would have been in it and there's nothing in it. They might fall out. No, there's nothing. It's probably been taken out a long time ago. All right, just check in.

The BG's story, born down under to disco. And then there's a picture of the BG's. Oh, that's quite cool, isn't it? It's all right, isn't it? I mean, if you like the BG's, it works for me. Bionic action, comic strip. The BGs keep coming up as well. That's a lot, yeah.

Muppet Mania. And so, yeah, there's loads of stuff. Because he was singing jive talking, remember? I got my jive turkey. Lovely. We'll go back to those. Those are beautiful. Again.

Again, the very first item, the very first item that came out of this box was that record that I've already got the children talking. And I thought, oh, no. Is it another one of these boxes of stuff that we have to sort of go, you know, oh, that's good.

And when we really are thinking inside, we've seen this all before. Yeah, but this is all fucking great. Most of it, it's great. Almost all of it, in fact. Is that for you as well? Yeah, all the red and white wrapping is for me. Oh, it's this.

I like this. This is like Christmas Mouln. If you know, you know, says the sticker on this little brown envelope. There's two little brown envelopes in that one. Oh, it looks like pins. Oh, it's pins. I've got this pin, though, but it's a Peter Vankman pin. Eli, you can have this lovely Peter Vankman pin.

Already on your wall, isn't it? Yeah, it's on my board over there. Fucking excellent. It's the scene where he's about to get slime by slimer, and he's talking to Ray on the walkie. they froze and that and it's very accurate getting the expression and everything very well it's a very nice pin.

Let's see what the other pin is. This is from real icons. Have you got that one as well? It's the same badge again. So. But I'm going to give this to a friend who would very much appreciate it. So I've got three versions of this pin

and you can have one and my friend can have this one when I finally see them and pull my finger out. I put that with Layton's pickle minis. Nice. I've got one more little brown box. It's not brown, Paul. I know.

I don't know why I said brown. So, your nonsense mouth. It's so bad. Oh, what's this? Olympus Pearl Cordof J500. It's a little mini camera. It's not. It's a little mini dictaphone type thing.

How cool is this? Oh, I mean, in this day and age, there's no use for them. Well, maybe we could do an episode on one if we got a tape. You know what I mean? Yes. Didn't we do that already? Didn't we do that? No.

Are you sure? Yeah, mate. You've definitely discussed that idea. Yeah. A little mini tape. A little box. Has it got one in it? Yes.

Yes, mate. It's got a little mini's 60 minute tape in it. Crazy. Feel the whiffed of that. It's nicely made. That's beautiful. I love these. You know how a lot of those are cheapy plastic, but that one's got a nice kind of feel to it? It's got a good weight to it.

It's got a good weight. And what's the... It's called a pearl corder. Still got the sticker on minting box. Minut. Reasonable mint in box. Has it got batteries in? I don't know if they've put batteries in.

Well, they'll need... It'll need fixing. Oh, yeah. It's working. The red lights come on. That's it? Oh, testing one. One, two, three, one, two, three, my name's Paul Gannon.

How'd you rewind it? There you go. Oh, yes, it's working. A lot of it. Oh, testing, one, two, three, one, two, three, my name's Paul Gannon. You're playing too fast. Wait, I'll do it now. Yeah, that's rewind.

And I got it. Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, it's working. One, two, three, one, two, three, my name's Paul Gannon. You sound like your child. Oh, I love this, anyway. Well, you can have a problem. A little.

Testing, one, two, three, my name. I don't know how this works. I like it. It's good. Let me just double check. Why I open something now? Well, you can open, you can show this off because unfortunately I have this already. We had it on an episode of Cheap Show a while ago and they haven't gotten there yet.

Wow. But this is also going to go to the same friend who's going to get that badge. Really? Yeah. It's Ecto 1 and it transforms into a robot called Ectotron. And it's just up there by my firehouse, Eli, if you want to look behind you on this corner of the firehouse, he's all standing up. Well, this is lovely. There he is.

He looks in Congress, but now that makes sense. Because he's a robot. You're not generally a sort of big. robot guy, are you? I'm not a huge Transformers person but the only other one I would

love to have is the one that's based on a, you know, cassette Walkman. Yeah, sound scream, is it? Or sound like.

The actual tape itself turned into a little panther or an eagle. He had a few. Yeah, they're great. I would love that one. If anyone wants to send me,

right, so this is, look, this is minting box as well and this is for the beautiful condition. 20, 24 anniversary of Ghostbusters and Transformers or something.

I think they both I don't know what the details are. Absolutely. Again, a little translucent. Slimer in there as well. That's not cheap as well. These are really expensive. Gip Gubbins. And I'm going to make sure these go to

perfectly warm homes. Loving warm homes. So thank you, Joe. All this stuff is fucking excellent. Yeah, it really is. Now, I think we're getting into the last item. I can't have you touch this until I've checked everything else. Okay. Because there's batteries. I see that. I see the batteries, yeah. And the screwdrivers.

What are these big Cs drives or something? What are they called? Drives. They're batteries. Cells. Cells. Batteries and screwdrivers fitting for Eli This is for you, apparently. If it is for you, I wonder if you'll take it because you're a horrible, horrible man.

What do you mean I will take it? I'll make sure this is the last thing in the box. Why won't I take it? Because it's big. So I don't have room in my small room. I'm just saying, it's big. Eli, it's the last step at present in the box. Again, it's the brutalism.

Brutalism. And look at the size of this. Wrapping paper. Now, this is just top best, great. Okay. And also, can I just say to Joe, thank you for the wrapping on this box. Have you noticed it?

It's all cheap show tape and wrapping. That was actually... Fantastic fucking stuff. Customised cheap show. From top to bottom, Joe, you've played a blinder with this box and you've made our Christmas party excellent. So thank you. You've lifted my spirits.

Thank you very much. I love you. All right. What have you got in here? Open it up. Oh, it's very well put together. Oh my God, it's a big track. I so wanted one of these.

always. I've got one. Have you already? No, I've got one now. I was going to say you've got one now. I'm holding it now. And it's an original one. It's not like a modern one that they've repackaged.

I think it's an original. How's you program it? Is it? Well, that's what the button's on the back do. We'll turn it on. Can you pull the box? Look at that. It might not be an original.

I don't know. I thought it was an original tomey, but it doesn't say Tomey on it. Look at this. Was Tomey the manufacturer? I'm not sure it, if I'm being honest No, it's not a tommy thing But look at that mate

Oh Look at that beautiful Big Track Now if you don't know what Big Track It is a 1980s toy Which is basically like a kind of plastic robot Tank that you could program To move around by typing in a code Get stuff for you

Yeah you can type it in and it moves around the floor Because you program it to move up forward left right You have to unscrew these Yeah I'm going to do it now This is Big Track The Computer Activated Truck from it MB Electronics. Program in up to 16 commands and Big Track will advance, turn and fire three blasts. Big Track follows its instructions and can manoeuvre around every obstacle to complete its mission.

Program it and Big Track obeys. Well done, Big Track. Big Track from MB Electronics. So that is our grand finale Prezi, the Big Tracks. What a fucking wicked thing. What does it say on here? For Eli, a programmable electric toy vehicle for Milton Bradley, originally, released in 1979, re-released in 2010. So maybe this isn't 2010 this one. Maybe it's been very good Nick, so... A futuristic sci-fi tank that remembers up to 16 commands and executes them in sequence. Eli noticed his fondness for this toy back in Cheap Show's single-digit days. Was intended to be an Aerobees until the Aerobees video released in May 2025 and then

realized Eli had loads, so didn't send you. you want. Hopefully, Eli, doesn't also secretly have a cupboard full of these. I do not. It has been tested and works. Separate pack with batteries and screwdriver, which is what we've got here. Have you opened it yet? Almost. Can you open this up? It's like watching

my granddad do it. Do you get the screws out yet? No, this screw won't come out. Come on. I'm doing it. Put it in. Time is wasted. We have to go home. We have to come home. We have to go home. Come on and I'm very drunk. And this room's spinning. Why are you so drunk? I've had other drinks for a while you've not been looking.

I've been drinking stuff of that and things. Have you? You said we weren't going to do that this time? A lot of things, mate. Got one more bottle of booze for us to come in in a minute. I've got to get Jarvis in. Come in? Yeah, Jarvis will bring it in a minute.

Yeah, that'll do. Is there instructions with this? No, I don't think there are. I don't think there are, unfortunately. Right, if I remember when this turns on, it goes, bleep, bleep, blah, blet, blet, blet, ready? Let me, let me, let me. You want to do it.

Yes. Go on, I think it's that red switch there. Oh, dear. He said, it's been tested. So the batteries are incorrect. Did you put them in in correctly? No, they're in the right way. Are you sure?

Are you sure? Yeah. I don't think you put them in, right. No, unless they've popped out as I put the lid back on. I think that's what may have happened. Or you may have just put them in the right way because they only go in one orientation. Right. You got the wrong way around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't. You don't put it that way. You don't put it that way in. Are you a child? Are you a stupid child? They always go in that way. Try it.

Try it the other way. You don't put it. the nubbing against the spring. The spring goes against the flat bit because that's what it has to rest upon. Because the nublet actually makes contact with the connector in there, which charges the power. I know what you're saying, but try it. Just try it for me. No, because that doesn't work like that. No

battery has ever worked like that. I've put it in the wrong way around now, so... What do you mean you put it in the wrong way? I tried it that one. Well, that just proves it doesn't fucking work then. That one. So that just proves my theory then. Doesn't it? Yeah, but now you took... No, they're both in the right way.

Okay. Yep. Eat. Give me a sound's coming out of it. Program. Hey. I don't know how it works. Just jab at it and make the wheels go round.

Go and jab at it until the wheels work. Keep dab, bib, bib, bib. But I don't know what, I don't think we've put a direction for it to go in. So forward, put a number in, eight, and then, I don't know, enter and then go. Enter. I don't know how it works. Oh, hey! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Hey! Oh, it's crashed into the couch. Hey! We got it working. Well done. I haven't got room for it.

I know you're going to say that. I really don't, though. I do. You're going to have to have it because it's been made for you, specifically for you, and you're going to take it home as your Christmas gift. and I can't wait for you to go and put it in your living room

and make it go around the art carpet and make it go around the world and take an apple to Rogan or something like that I'll have to look up the actual instructions to make it go do stuff I love this thing this is fucking beautiful

look at this beautiful fucking thing Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Eli There's a present for you Is this where you hold it holds the apple No I don't know what that is In the advert it went and got someone It used to be on a little truck you put on the back

A little uh mate I'm tired now Should we wrap this party up. Wrap this party up. You completely stopped functioning as a speaking human about 20 minutes ago. Completely.

I know. All right. Can you admit it? You talk shit. You talk a lot of shit. You've had a long day. You talk a lot of terrible shit. You said you wouldn't criticize me for Christmas.

Did I? Yes, at the very beginning. I said that was a greatest Christmas gift you'd ever give me. I would lie. I know. Eli lies. Rule number one. Eli lies.

Eli lies. It's in the name. Isn't it? Eli. Eli's. right I'm going to get Jarvis to come in and give us our last drink I want to have a bottle of champagne to celebrate

at the end of the end of the It's not champagne It's a fizzy wine All right We're going to have a glass of fizzy wine to celebrate I'm such a snobstice I'm going to get him Jarvis

Come in Jarvis Was there Jambon Who was your wife? Your drink, sir. Oh yeah, thank you, Jarvis. Thank you very much. Put the bottle down there. No, can you open it?

Open it, you oh, fuck. Open it, you fuck. Oh, cunt. Come on, open it for us. There we go. Yes, sir. I'll open it now, sir. You're...

Yay! Hey, are you like? Here's a glass. Have a little bit. Hey. End of that 2025. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. To everyone listening.

We hope you have a better 2026. And if not, we're here for you. Don't you worry about that? We're always here for you. I'll have that class. You just put it down. Lovely, lovely. What is this?

Oh, it's very... Oh, it's nice. I like this. What is it? Prisico or... It's a fixinete or something. Another birthday present for me last night. I thought I'd say,

for Christmas for us. Oh, Frisnets, yes. Fishnets. It's Carver, everybody. Fishnets. So, Merry Christmas. Happy New Year and well done for, mate, not only winning an award, but making a vinyl album this year. So there we go. Salute to you, Merry Christmas. Ho, ho.

Oh, I actually quite refreshing that. I think I actually quite needed that after. It's nice. Oh, horrendous. Yeah. Right. So, before we go, obviously, if you listen to us, thank you for supporting us. Thank you for enjoying our content. whether it's on YouTube or here or whatever.

I was meant to remind you to thank everyone. Yeah, thank you. I'm going to do that now. But thank you for a thanking me to a thank you to remind you. To remind you to thank me for thank you. So if you listen and you support us, brilliant. Thank you. Spread the word.

Keep enjoying what we do. We can't do it without you. Patreon supporters, we love you too. Without 10 years of support from you guys, we couldn't be doing this. So thank you to you as well. Also, I wanted to do special thanks to Evan and Tony and Page for all the work they did with the magazine.

year and all the other contributors to the Cheap Show magazine everyone who came to the live show everyone who came to the live show thank you we had a great time everyone who contributed to the album a huge thank you too and that includes obviously noisland who helped drag everything together and make it possible so noisland god bless you you clever talented son of a bitch thank you for helping us create our vinyl album and everyone who bought it we hope you enjoyed it It'll be on band camp soon, we hope. I don't know when, but mini-discs sometime in the new year. Hopefully, bubbles.

It really has cleaned the palate, so to speak. God, that other stuff is so bad. What? Everything else that hasn't been that old-fashioned that Jarvis made. Yeah. Everything was nasty pasty. So Noisland, thank you. And all the contributors to the album, thank you to everyone who's been a part of Cheap Show this year.

And finally, Eli, without any sense of being a cunt, thank you for continuing to do this with me after a decade. Jesus Christ. I know, but let me just be honest and say thank you and just end on a nice positive note. No, no, I'm not saying. If you don't want me to, if you want me not to, then we can do that.

No. If we can do that, all right? We're not doing it. Do you want me to change my tone? No. All right? It's so close to being genuine. No, that was genuine.

I just want to say, thank you, Eli. Thank you, Paul. For 10 years of Cheap Show. My pleasure. And sometimes. Next year, 500 episodes. and we'll figure out what we'll do in there, but you'll find out.

Okay, okay. Anyway, that's it. Are you getting that, too? Like, there's something like a numbing thing in the back of your throat. It's more like it's swelling up, yeah. Yeah, what is that? I don't know.

Is that the wine or something? No. No, that would be the drugs, sir. What? Say what? I've drugged your carver, sir. Why have you... Why have me dug-to-carver?

He's the, he's the creaming up. I am the cat burglar, sir. robbing the houses of Hatter. I figured it out just now, Pope. I know, I've just figured it. I've got it now. I break in. I used rocournium, sir.

It is an immediate to long acting drug used for mostly longer surgical procedures or to keep patients on medical ventilators, for example. However, for you too, it will keep you incapacitated for long enough for me to take all your lovely presents. Oh no, not that's right.

and your booze and smash this shit hole up. Don't take my to-mey thing. Don't take it. I'm sorry, Jarvis. Jarvis. You shouldn't have called him I can. Jarvis, help me. Fuck you, sir.

Jarvis, sir. Oh, Merry Christmas here. I can't move. I caught boo. I caught me in my hands. Keep doing it. I'm feeding up. Thank you.