CheapShow - Ep 468: Nightbussin' N89

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

It’s a NEW YEAR and time for a NEW(ish) episode of CheapShow to see in 2026! So that Paul can take another week off from editing (poor tired lamb!), we’re dipping into our Patreon pocket and pulling out a podcast usually reserved for our supporters! As is custom for our “first episode of the year”, it’s time to enjoy another Nightbussin’ adventure as Paul and Eli venture into more nocturnal night bus nonsense. This week, the route is the N89 that starts in Erith, far east of London, and in towards Trafalgar Square over a staggering 21 miles! It’s the longest night bus in London and is also the route you basically have to leave London to start. As ever with Nightbussin’ it’s about whether or not Paul and Eli can get to the starting point in time and without having a meltdown. Once the journey begins, it’s all in real time, so soak up the night time ambience, take a seat at the front on the top deck and join the cheap chaps on another Nightbussin’ romp! Ding Ding! (Originally released in May 2025) See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-468-nightbussin-n89

Hello, welcome to Cheap Show. I'm Paul Gannon, and this week we're taking a week off from Cheap Show. I want to rest. So, we're going to present to you one of our Patreon episodes called Nightbussing. But Eli, what the fuck? is Nightbussing. Paul is a spin-off podcast from Cheap Show, the main body, the parent body, the bulbous parent body. The mother brain, the womb-like Uber-Mum of Cheap Show has birthed Nightbussing. It's our spin-off podcast where we get on a specific night bus in London town and we record the journey on Stwyth. Yeah, that'll do. Close enough.

So we are, as we record right now, about to record a brand new one for our patrons. No, you can only get access to that if you're a patron. But the one we're going to give to you. All tier patrons. Yeah, the one we're going to give to you, we recorded almost a year or so ago. I think like March or something, maybe March or maybe. Mid-middle of the year. Yeah, March or May last, last, 2025.

This is the Knight 89. N-89. Yes. When you said the word night, you absolutely threw me off. It was weird. The N-89, thank you for that, it's fine. And it goes, it is the night bus that goes from furthest outside of London. Which is the east.

And we started it, but all together. Altogether. And we started an eryth. all the way into Trafalgar Square where so many of London's night buses end up but not tonight but the one you'll be listening to yes

yes so why not come with us back a year or so ago and join us close to a year ago six months how's that close? It's more like nine months I think

either way it's a little time ago but it was a warm night as well we talked about how it was a warm night so oh on this chilly Eve it's chilly tonight though everyone

it's chilly tonight we'll remember I feel like chicken tonight yes Did they do a chill conkani one? I bet they did. I bet you could get chicken chili conkani chicken tonight. Anyway, without any further fucking ado,

enjoy the episode, guys. Enjoy the episode. Let me take you back nine months or so to our trip on the N-89. Take it away, boys. Cheap show to the other boys. It's the price of shy Cheapesho

Welcome to Cheap Show Hello everyone My name is Paul Gannon And it's time for another edition of Night Busen Where Paul Gannon And Eli Silverman Get on a night bus

And go night busing Now for fucking weeks now I've had Eli go Oh, where are we doing night bushing? when we're doing that person when are we doing it today we don't do funny voices where are we doing it today don't do funny noises for night we do we're adapting we're changing we're giving the audience what they want no is it under there in that bag you really are a clueless just don't it's not what this is about paul

anyway you sometimes lose things i saw you do exactly the same thing so you don't attack me about that but that's hypocritical just calm down we're both irritable winging for weeks about doing night busing i've got other stuff to worry about right and all he cares about is night buss and so we're doing it finally after putting it off and putting it off we're doing it and it's been hot the last few days as well but today the sky broke and let and cooled it down a little bit but it's still a bit close yeah and here we are at the house of pickles in my flat we are leaving Okay Are you leaving you right now

Yeah You got it Yeah I'm good to go I'm good to go for like an hour genuinely I've drained me lizard He's all empty now We've planned to

We put in a bit of a contingency here Haven't we I've put in a five minute It's only just coming up for ten now The app said leave at about 10 past 10 So let's get ahead of it Yeah let's get ahead of it Give ourselves a little bit of wiggle room

Let's get wiggle room So what go on On other night bus adventures that we've had you may recall dear listener we've always been on the back foot we've been very close to missing it entirely yeah do you want a jacket or anything love oh he's got it all in my bag oh he's got it all in his bag so it's one of these weird nights where like we might get wet but at the same time it's really warm out so we can't really have a lot of clothes on not layers so we're off we're off here we go should we tell them the bus later

hey yeah we'll tell you later for now we're setting off what's what day is it today Monday the it is what is it the I don't know 12th I believe of it is Monday May 12th May 12th the evening we're setting off it's close to 10 o'clock when's the first bus or when is the bus would you to get we just need to get to a 29 they come all the time so it's not really all right 29 it's nice and cool but not too cool As I say, it's close. Yeah, but it's okay, isn't it?

Yeah, it's not too bad right now. You're not getting a chill, are you? You've got a light jacket on. It's very coming, I like your light jacket. Yeah, I'm glad they got it because it's so light, it means I feel covered if it gets a bit too nippy, but at the same time. That was really getting very boring.

I mean, I've just complimented your jacket. Just leave it, leave it. No one knows, wants to know. Anyway, we're not doing funny voices, yeah? No, but you're dressed like a Polish builder right now. Right, fine. You go into a construction site overnight. Really?

Yeah. You're going to get picked up in the back of the van with eight other strange men you've never met before, all on the same job. Now, let's go to Harrogay food, too. Yeah, I'll say what, should we just put the credits in right now and get going? Yeah, listen, we're off.

It's another night of recording. We're going to get some provisions to get started, like some Red Bulls and stuff. And then after that, we're on to go. So, night busing, here we go. Tell me where you're going to go. Tell me where we want to go on the bus tonight. Tell me where you're going to go.

Tell me where you're going to go on the bus tonight. That's it. So, hello, we've gotten on the one-for-one, we've gone off the one-four-one, and we're outside Manor House Station. We will be going where? We will be getting on the Piccadilly line and going to Kings Cross from here, Paul.

It is a mother, this one. Yeah, we'll tell you in a little bit, but this journey itself is, in and of itself, is going to be half the fucking effort. There's going to be a lot of pre-pod on this one, I get a feeling. Maybe, we'll see. I've got a bit of prepod coming on. I should have gone to toilet before I left.

It's not going to be like that. It is. It's what it is. So here we are. You know the gate line? Just get my wallet out. right there we go and we're on the underground piccadilly line hip manor house going south that's right all the way the king's cross um we are going to be getting a dartford bound train from abbey wood or something i mean it's nuts they are the bus that we're

getting though is every 25 minutes outside a leisure center in essex so Let's get this straight now, Paul. What is the safe word for tonight's night busing? Something not... Look at him. The brain, he's very tired, everyone. Some of us have actual things to do all the time. And some people just wander around London,

taking pictures for their Instagram. And they should be out getting work. I was working. I was working. DJing twice over the weekend. Is that not? It's back out as work? You're on the afternoon with the sun out.

Yeah, it looks like it. What a hell? Anyway, trains just come in. Now, are we going to change at Finnsby Park for a quicker journey? Or do you just want to get this all the way to Kings Cross? I'm not sure. Do you think... Do you trust it? I mean, at this point, we may as well.

That's going to put in an extra change. And it might not be ages. Look, I'll show you the actual route. Let's stay here till Kings Cross then, yeah? Well, this is what we need to discuss. We are discovering it. I'm saying let's stay on this to King's... Let's look at the route first.

If we get the Victoria line changed, then we end up shaving about seven minutes off. Anyway, he's on his phone. And there's a scary man down the other end of the corridor. He's got long air and looks like he might be a wizard or warlock. He looks fine. Does he, though? All right, Kings Cross.

Then we get the northern, when we change to the northern line at King's Cross. So is that closer? Do you know whether that's closer to the Piccadilly or to the Victoria platform, the northern? Honestly, if we're going to the Lizzie line, we may as well just get off on Vindry Park. This might be too loud for this recording. I'm saying we could change it Victoria. I go to Victoria all the way to Lizzie line.

No, no, no. That'll go to Oxford Circus. That's not what it's telling me to do. We're going to Moorgate, getting the Lizzie line at Moorgate. So, I ask you again, it's a simple question. Is the Victoria platform that we'd be coming on if we'd change in Phidivisbury Park closer to the Northern Line platform that we want

or is the Piccadilly Line platform closer? That's why I'm asking you. I don't know or care. And you're too busy texting your mate now so you don't seem to be engaged in this. What did you say? You just said I don't care. See what I mean? You didn't hear what I said? I said I was lacking in.

information. I'm getting off here. Oh. I'm mixing this up. All right. Well, this is your decision, Daniel, okay? Yeah. That's also, that might have been too loud for anyone to understand what we were saying then. So I put my foot down and we're changing now to Victoria Line. Here we go. You might not be coming for like 20 minutes or something and then we fucked it, man. Do you mean we're just going to take this to King's Cross? What does it say? Now. It's coming now. All right, little Miss Pissy Pants, McFizzy Knickers. I have to text my mate, I'm sorry.

Kings crossed six minutes. How are you going to text me, you're underground? I have to just deal with this now. I'm sorry. So rude. See what I mean? I'm totally present every single time we record this. And right now I'm going to leave him.

I'm going to sneak over here because there's a pit. There's a corridor between the two platforms and there's a pit. Oh, here comes the train. I find that pit scary. See, he's not invested. He just wants the attention. What you doing? Talking to the audience who I care about. Listen, just stop if you're...

You aren't being Mr Pissy Pants McPie. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not being Mr Pissy Pants McPhee. Listen, let's just get to King's Cross and then we'll take it from there, all right? Okay. I agree with that. If that bit before was too noisy, didn't hear anything, I cut it out and you've missed nothing.

Basically, Paul has gone Maverick on this journey, and now we're doing the shortcut because it's basically quicker to get from Finsbury Park to Kingsclos on the Victoria line than it is on the Bickadillo. Takes a few minutes off? Yes, but it's going to mess up all my timings. Well, I don't care.

Right, we'll see you in a bit. We're making good time. Yeah, good. We're making good time. We'll see you in a little bit. We're going to get to King's time. Cross. Right, we're at the platform on Kings Cross, Northern Line, waiting to go south to Moorgate.

Just a couple of stops to Morgate, and that's when we joined the Lizzie line. I'm going to get the Lizzie line all the way out to Abbey Wood, and then we get on to the main line, a Dartford-bound train, Paul, take us to our final destination before we catch the night bus. To bring us back to Trafalgar Square, and do you know what night bus it is, Paul? The 89. The N-89. 89.

N-89. That's right. It's a proper night bus. I've got to say, because it's just at 89, we're not doing it. No, well, it's going to be after midnight anyway, isn't it? So we couldn't be doing that. So you insisted on doing the SL7, which is also not a night bus. Yeah, but I've always said,

I've always said providing you get it at night. It counts. Okay, fine, so then this would count if it wasn't a night bus then, wouldn't it? Right. So that's not what you just said right now. but anyway whatever i said right now is what i want the opposite to be true to what you believe exactly i'm always gonna be contentious yeah you want to annoy me you're easily you're easily annoyable paul shut up it's meant to be a good vibe on these podcasts and you're just being

a little bit cunty aren't you look it's because you've got sweaty lip and you're all and you're all tired yes all right and i've worked all weekend and most of last week and no one thinks of paul he did four night shifts overnight last week as well I did two nightships. Yeah, but you weren't getting over at 5a yet, were you? Yes. Yeah, but you drink in your gig and you play record, you don't have the stress and responsibility of live radio, do you?

So I'm just going to go ahead and say the hours are longer, the work is harder, what I do is completely different and harder than what you do. It's not harder. Yes, it is. I didn't think you could cut it. I don't think you could do what I do, but I think I could do what you do. That's just a despicable and horrible thing to say.

I think that's true. It's not true. You are not a skilled worker. No one claps for you during a pandemic lockdown. They don't clap for you either. They do. They never did. You're a horrible man.

No, I'm not horrible, man. I'm just tired of you thinking everything you do is of a value or equal value. You're right, I'm in a bad mood. You really are. To take that back or that horrible. He didn't want to do that this tonight. Tired. He hasn't wanted to do it ever.

No. He wants to stop the night busing series. I just want to stop it. I just want to do it when I'm not like running on it. We've already put it off, as you said. We've put it off loads of time. Now, can you just dial down? You keep giving me a grief about it.

Every time we meet up everywhere Monday. Not giving you a grief. Just dial down the nasty, please. I can't promise that. Just dial it down, man. Can't promise that. Now, do you want to hear about the night bus? Now, what might change my mind is when I get into my gummies later.

Just eat them and shut your mouth. I've got parabo, twin snakes. One side sweet, one side sour. Oh, I've never seen those before. Paul, no, I want to tell them about the night bus. Now, I tell you what, let's do it once we get outside. It still hasn't said when the next train is here. I still think we should wait until we get outside when there's no...

Do you want to just attack me in my lifestyle again and just say you're basically better just because you're in a bad mood? Do you want to just do that for another two minutes? Two minutes, it's all right, yeah. It both feel really good about everything. It makes you feel better, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It doesn't really.

I come from a family of petty people. Yes. horrible petty whining people by the sounds of it yeah I think that's valid I think that's an accurate description of my family yeah so don't bring that here please please don't bring that here

I think the fact that you make such a church of this means I just want to burn the church down of what night busing it is a church this is my church anyhow we have had we've done some records on night busing

we've done the longest route in London which was the SL7 to Heathrow from West Croydon. We've done the longest night bus route in London, which is the 1-99 actually, and now this is, I typed in what is the

night bus that goes, London night bus, that goes furthest out of town, and that's what this one is. And we're starting from its furthest point and working back in. Yes, which is not in London, which is out east. But it still counts as an N London bus and it's red? Yeah, that's right. So that's it. So that's another do you see what I mean? It's another sort of landmark

for want of a better word, bus. Well, we do. Yeah, well, we found another excuse to get on a night bus, so that's what we're going to be doing. I think the train's coming. So I'm going to, yeah, I think it's coming, so I'm going to put this away,

and we'll speak to you a little bit later on, and I'll promise I'll be in a better move. Please, I just need my sugar rush. Have some twin snakes. That sounds like a twin snake. That sounds like a double-headed dildo, that's. I'll do it. One side sweet, one side's sour.

I can make a whole film, out of that. Oh, here it comes. Here it comes. I didn't say when it was going to be, yeah? Right, well now we can reach Moorgate and we change onto the reasonably newly built Elizabeth Line, or as we like to call it, Lizzie Line. And we're heading eastbound from the platform. False sense of like distance. Because you're underground and it's the same stage.

You don't think you're going that far, but actually it's like five streets over if you looked above. It is, yeah. It's across a whole, a significant chunk of the city, in fact. here we are so we're going to Abbey Wood but we can get the Schenfield one does the Schemfield one go to the No we have to wait for the Abbey Wood it's in four minutes

Do you remember we had this issue before when we were It was the Day Clipper episode Day Clipper episode that's exactly right isn't it Yeah hey you know you know you got a boost I've got a boost I've got boost iced coffee Yeah I haven't tried those now I'm going to try it now I might regret it

So it's an energy drink iced coffee latte. Does it have taurine as well as caffeine? Hang on. Enjoy your velvety smooth iced latte. The perfect blend of bold espresso and milk. Or maybe it's not them. I think it's just ice coffee,

yeah? Still have a caffeine here. You just think to yourself, oh, boost. Must be full of certain things. I've been doing a lot of advertising. I can't see any... Torin. But then I haven't got my glass on, so I can't really see much right now.

Getting old is fucking sobering. Right. It just keeps getting worse, so you might as well... I don't know. So you might be able to hear that, everyone, but there was a power outage on the whole of the underground today. So there was a bad disruption, but touch wood, it hasn't really affected our journey, has it?

This isn't us, is it, either. This is Schenfield one. Look how massive these platforms are. It's literally like a four-minute walk down to the other end. Yeah. No, that's like walking from my house to all most of the street. Yeah, absolutely. It's crazy, isn't it?

Yeah, but again, that full sense of distance because you think, oh, just the platform, how long it'll be? It is really long, the scale of it. We're going there, and we're going to go, whoop, down this one. We're going down. Are we getting off of Abbeywood? Is Abbey Wood? Is Abbey Road our final destination? It's not our final destination. We have to get

another train from there. No, no, no. On this line, is it the final destination? Are we getting off at the end of the line? Abbywood, yes. Yeah. Well, we're getting that next. Then we get the 2308 to Chinkford, Dartford, to Dartford. To Dartford. Dauphin, isn't that where the gangsters used to be? This is pure gangsterville where we're going, mate.

It's eric. So it's not going to be big boys then. Oh yeah, we haven't discussed this. Well, there's a big boy attack. What's our safe word to get off the bus at the next stop? I think it should be... I think it should be a train station name like Kings Cross. Okay.

Oh, are you going to Kings Cross? Yeah, let's get off of King's Cross. Well, then we get off. Hell no, then, because... Well, then let's just say, oh, big boys are on the bus, and let's get off with you're scared. Let's say big boys are on the bus, because we're scared. No, that's not... Let's just say big boys.

That's not one word. Well, but on it could be said to be three words, wouldn't it? How about that as a compromise? Right, Warren Street. Warren Street. Because it occurred to me the other day, that's like the most... The station that's on the Victoria line, that is most like someone's actual name. Hello, this is Warren Street.

Oh, yeah, I guess. Can't think of any others on that line. Not like Abby Wood, maybe. Abby Wood's a good one, isn't it? See, but those are different from, like, there's also a station on the Vicky line called Victoria. That is someone's name. That is someone's name, but it's not a full name. It's not a first or second name.

Abby Wood, that's good. Are there any others? Well, we're getting on this anyway. Harold Wood. Brett Wood. Harold Wood. Harold Wood. Chadwell Heath.

No, that's a name. Yeah, that's good. It could be. Now, things like Man Apart or Seven Kings, that's not a name, is it? Seven Kings could be like a pub or a bowling alley. Or a place where Seven Kings are hung from a tree or something. The type of place that serves nachos, whatever it is. Yeah, probably.

Right, let's get on this train, the new fancy Lizzy-Land train. And we'll see you on Abbey Road, I guess. Abby Ward. Right, well, we're on the... We're getting off soon, aren't we? We're on the Elizabeth line, the last. little stretch of our Elizabeth flying journey from a weird thing happened

because we actually got onto the Elizabeth line without leaving Moorgate station, isn't that right, Paul? Yes. But in fact, Moorgate isn't on the maps that we're on, isn't listed as a station on these maps. That's because we walked from Liverpool Street to Liverpool Street from Moorgate underground. They just call it one station.

That's how big these... Oh, look at all these strains. the end of the line zone four and so we have to go to platform two now we're getting the dartford bound train on from platform two hopefully won't be too onerous to get to transfer and then we might have a little bit of a rush or we might have a little bit of a wait but they are night buses and they go all night so it's only just gone 11 now so it's not like it's super late um you know we're going to wait an hour for the next one well the first one is until 25 past midnight the first one yeah oh well no we'll get it yeah we'll easily get that

is it just only 11 now yeah we'll get it honestly I think it's like 10 past 5 11 something like that right now yeah if you see something that doesn't look right speak to staff or text British Transport Police on 61016 we'll sort it see it say it sorted whoever came up with that thought they were the fucking clever I bet it was more than one person and they would have checked it and it bet it cost seven million pounds for that sentence. Stick in your head. But it doesn't really make sense though no. See it say it's sorted. Say what? It's a bit like place where dreams are made of. It's basically saying be suspicious of everything. All right so this is a lizzie line train. We're on platform

four. There's two there. Do we? I never bother. Hang on. Only for entry or exit. yeah so how we go over the bridge here for two platform two's there see is there a bin come on there's going to be a bin on the other side so here we are end of the line there and we're going over a lovely petty bridge now here we are it's abby wood abby would and she would as well abby's a dirty bird oh look you can see the city there oh yeah we're quite far out but we're going further further out We have to figure a time of when we need to put these lapel mics on. As before, once we get on the bus, me and Eli moved to the lapel mics, the audio quality

changes. I try and do my best to keep everything legible, and we will keep in as much as we can on the journey in real time. Sometimes we keep the whole thing in, sometimes I make snips, but largely we keep as much as we can in. So here's the Dartford train. It's a lovely evening for a lovely full moon as well. Not quite full, but close enough.

It's a fecund ripe moon Okay, so this train is due in like four minutes Yeah, okay, cool The Dartford train, yeah Dartford train We've made all our connections So far, so good This is the one coming up though

Is the real? I think my decision to go to Victoria Land was a wise decision It was absolutely fine, Paul, yes, thank you I just want my You know, input recognised Absolutely, and I think it's just because that the apps don't want to complicate your life

but people in the nose such as ourselves should almost always avail ourselves you know funnily enough we could have just got on a train from St Pancras couldn't we I guess just out of interest yeah all the way here yeah but it would have been it would have been slower

oh I see Ereth is there next to Belvedere yeah it's on the different line no that's why you couldn't get there straight from some parts oh you couldn't you'd have to change at Abbeywood You have to change Abbeywood, whatever happens. No, you could get on it Cannon Street or Charing Cross, I reckon, and that would go down this side of the route.

So, yeah. Yeah, but that's for, yes, I suppose, yeah. All I'm saying is once again, Gannon's right. Have you in a better mood since you had that coffee? Yeah, much better, actually. Coffee's good. Right. So let me get a photo of you.

All right, well, I'm going to turn this off now. All right. Basically, just to, someone could be called Mays Hill, couldn't they? Sounds like a bit of like a rapper on Mays Hill, young. The education of Mays Hill. Yeah. Um, I tell you what though, Paul. Go on. Um, I'm really starting to feel the night bus fever now. You're going to your fucking fever. It's chlamydia. Oh, it's on the same on the same side. Oh. Yeah. So we're getting down to Dartford now. And uh, just to let them know, right? So we have to get to Errith. Yeah. And we have to get to

get from Ereff to the start of the our night bus route the N89 which you said could be a eight minute walk it's basically across the road over a roundabout um but and the first one like i said is it let me have to see what it says actually yeah find out that would be handy be handy where is Eref on this map so i can get an idea of where we're fucking going Elizabeth Lyon Sheffield So we're south of that right now Abbey Wood Okay, yeah, quite okay

So yeah, we're about here I think we're gonna have plenty of time actually So there we are right there actually Yeah We're down on the south side Of the Thames Estuary As it gives people a visual idea Of how far out from like the centre of London we are

But anyway, I think I can hear it coming in actually So I'm gonna put this away and we're going to get our next leg of the journey going. There, yeah, there. That's Eltham. Oh, shit. I can't have got my glasses on. It's Eltham.

But there's Abbey Wood, so it's going to be somewhere Dartford. Maybe it's just not on them. It's out here? No, because we can't go past Dartford, can we, if the train's destination is Darford. Oh, it's not on this map. Oh, bollocks. It's not worth it. It's not worth it.

It's not only a small station. E. Ethelon, what's it called? Errith. Errith. Can you see it? My eyesight, man. Fuck, this is depressing as fuck. Anyway, here's the train. All right, we're getting on then.

This is our train, the dark train, everybody. We're getting on this. Come on. Two stops. Getting on. We might do one more recording when we get to the other end. I think we're going to be early. That's fine.

It gives us time to put the little lapel mics on and stuff. All right, Eli's taking pictures. And I'm getting on this train. Right, we'll see you in a bit. Right, already. We weren't on the train 10 minutes, if that. And now it's time to get off at Ereth, with plenty of time. That was there when we got on. Yeah, but it looks like blood.

Does it? Very much so. I thought it was like sticky coke or something, sticky chocolate. No, it looks like blood. Looks like someone's been slashed. Anyway, here we are, everyone, at Ereth. This is where the 89, the 9-89 starts, and it's been touch wood, very smooth, hasn't it, Paul? So far.

And I thought that ride from Abbey Wood to Ereth was going to be half an hour. It was 10 minutes. If that. Leave that. Hang on. Oh, Christ. They've got those airily stores. Trotosh.

Here we are. Oh, Ereth looks grim. Look at that. I think this is going to be on a main road. You can hear the fucking motorway. It looks very run down. the station I'm gonna get this yeah this is a station with no need for amenities what kind of vibe are you getting from that from the walkway look at

well apart from like the three separate security cameras that are literally right there right now covering all the fucking bases I mean what we're gonna do for an hour well not an hour I don't know what time is it like 40 minutes 40 minutes. All right. It's about a 10 minute walk from here. So let's just... I'll say what, I might finish this drink

and then you can find the route to where we need to go right now. And then we'll walk once we know where we're going. Yeah? Wow, look at this place, man. Look at that, a rusty old bridge. There's the basic upkeep needed for this platform. The rest of it is kind of barren. Very barren.

Very barren. Like the barren nights. A lovely bridge over there, though. But this seemed like it could be one of those. kind of stations by a motorway main road. Look at the church, you can see the church. Oh, that's a bit spooky, actually. Yeah.

Oh, that's what I mean, there's a vibe. It's like a black tower vibe. I'm going to see if I can get a shot of that. Yeah, look. That's cool. That's very gothic looking, isn't it? Yeah, it is. I guess that picture will have to do, yeah.

Just in terms of, it would be nice to have a bit more light to it, but no, it's fairly hard to see. The moon's behind a cloud. Oh, it's gone in. Oh, it's like the American Whale from London. There's a big road up there, but it doesn't look like it's a main road. It looks like it's a motorway, isn't it? Or it leads to dual car.

Oh, I don't know, maybe. We'll see. Plan your route out, and then we'll get going. Right, yeah? Oh, we've got to beep out. Right, we'll come back to you in a minute. We'll come back to you in a minute. But we're going to just find the route to the bus.

Right, we've got the lapel mics on, and the bus will be here in five minutes, but we just wanted to do a little bit of a... Oh, we're getting ready. I'm actually feeling quite euphoric, Paul. I'm sorry. I know you enjoy this. I really enjoy it. Thanks for coming along for these riders with me.

But I was saying to Paul, we're getting actually better at the skill set of trying to get on a really obscure bus. Because it was quite a complicated journey to get here, wasn't it? It was up there with like St Mary's Axe or whatever it was called. Which, you know, was a slop. Yeah, but on St Mary's Axe, we basically just got on at Victoria, didn't we? And then it was like 40-minute train out of Victoria.

But we still had to get from yours to. Victoria too that they're so much of a muchness it's very atmospheric here in erith the moon above the council houses and the general sort of vibe but starburgers you've heard of them i know but it's you know starburgers is funny in it is it no oh no so we're getting the n 89 we are here and we've managed to get him good time for the first yeah the first which is doesn't actually leave after midnight So night busing doesn't actually start until... Is this it?

Is this it? Is this it? No, that's a 180. There's a lot of buses go from here. Well, it's a bit of a... It must be some kind of a hub. Obviously. It's the furthest out.

This is where the night bus... This must be the border of... Because these are all night buses. They're all staying in this area. They're not night buses. No, I mean, sorry, London buses. They're London buses, yeah. Anyway, look...

Temesmead. Now, have you heard of Temesmead? Wait, I want to say one thing before I forget. This is also a 90 minute journey. Yes. Oh, you're right. I need to start the time back. start, it's time when we get on the bus. Well, when it leaves, right?

When it actually sets off. Yes. Thames Meade, that's nearby. Yeah. So, like I said before, we'll aim to record the whole journey, you know, lulls and all, but it might be that I trim it this audio when there are a moment. Have you trimmed on any other? Yeah, every now and there.

Sometimes if it's too noisy, you can't hear what you say, I'll just trim it. Hopefully it's not a ratly bus, but again, we can't control that. We can't control that. Sometimes when it's ratly, we don't know until we hear it back. And it's very ratly sometimes. Thanks for coming along on this sixth night bus adventure. Yeah, it's crazy. Just to recall the night bus journeys we've been on,

we started with the N18 out of Harrow. Yeah. The next one we did was the longest night bus, official N night bus. On miles on the clock, yeah. Which was the one 99. You know they have heard. The third one we did was the fucking,

not officially a night bus, but the longest. bus route in London and we did it after night so we it's officially a night bus to us and that was the SL 7 yeah a whatly done day and um then the one two three yes and then which was a bit of a damp squid the one two three in a lot of ways wasn't it they can't all be winners no and then the 12 night bus of Christmas of course which we did in December and then this is off of 20 25 and it's been a long time coming yeah Paul's had some caffeine and sugar so he's quite a lot He's cheered up a bit. I've got more sugar in my back pocket that I'm going to get into in a minute as well.

Okay, cool. Well, listen, look, I want to start this again when we get on the bus. So let's say goodbye for now. It should be coming in three minutes, Paul. In three minutes. So let's take these three minutes to chill. Okay. All right, Gov, and then we'll report back once we're on the bus once we get started.

Okay. Okay. Right, 1155. The clock watch has started. We're at the front of the N89, right from the first stop. It was dead on time. Yeah. It's still 1155.

Yep. We left dead on time. So we're off. This is brilliant. This is peak night busing. There's a McDonald's. Peak. I hope does it sound very ratly?

It's only going to be about when it goes over like bumps in the road and shit like that. When it's further out. Right, do you want to try a twin snake? I'll do a twin snake, yeah. One side sweet, one side sour. We've got coffee for later. Oh, I. But if it is 90 minutes, that's an hour and a half full.

And there's one 90s. That's insane. You know, look, two worms together. Oh, twin, that's like that guy. Oh, they don't come in pairs like that. Oh, yeah, they do. They do. They're stuck together.

One sour. One sweet. I don't know which is which, though. Oh. Good texture on Harrybos, aren't it? That's what I like about Haribati. They've nailed the texture of a gummy. That's tasty. That's a good gummy.

I like the sour and the three together. Yeah, not too bad, is it? Well, it's nice if they're side by side, so there's that sort of contrast in your mouth. You know what I mean? There's something going on. Yeah. It's very suburban out here. Isn't it?

I mean, the only reason we'd ever come here is to do this and see this thing. I love it. I love the absurdity of nightbussing. It is, isn't it? And it is. It's almost like, you know, they say of language, that it's infinitive... Mutative.

Yeah. In that you can always think of a sentence that no one else has ever uttered, basically. Just by thinking of two silly things, you know. Oh look. Clunger, handbag in a barking dog, biscuit ball. Yeah, but that's, yes. But that's a nonsensical one.

But you can make ones that are grammatically correct and still that no one has ever said. no one has ever said but anyway that's traded in a fairy egg for a half pint of milk there you go no one's ever said that no probably not but I can do this all night yes it's a good thing to do but oh look at this industrial these cranes out here this is amazing this is the kind of landscape I love yeah look at that good no that's just a that's just a warehouse for the cranes yeah it's a plant what they call plant construction equipment just in a massive construction

equipment, industrial, there's loads of them there as well. Those are like, what do they call those window cleaner cranes? Yeah. Baskets. This is, this is ace, I have to say. No, but. So yeah, we're on the lapel mics. Hopefully the audio is good enough for you. It's we're going to be like for the next 90 minutes maybe. So I think these night busing journeys could be unique in that same way. Like no one's ever actually done this journey. Jesus Christ. That was a, that felt like a last minute decision rather than a plan. to the corner, fuck me. Yeah, we've gone past a stop.

No one there. No one's there. I wonder when the first stop. No, I should do next time? The clicker for the stops. Bring a clicker for stops. See, now you're feeling. Why not add to the absurdity by counting both stops?

Yeah. Sorry, drop my hat. This is great. We've got a lovely view. All right. The driver is going a bit of a clip down these roads. It has to be said, but. It's that same logic when you see people driving

like fucking maniacs on small roads in the country. Yeah, they know them. But if you see that swinging around the corner, your asshole will disappear inside your hips. And especially if you're on this particular position in a double decker, it's the most, that's why the kids love it, because it is the most dynamic. Oh, there's someone on the road, and that's that lady, she got off there. Oh. What was she doing? I don't know.

Oh, Christ. Anyway, but here's the other thing, right? You're on this and you see them take a sharp turn and you kind of panic for a bit. But you've got to remember, like, they test these buses out by doing a massively aggressive, you know hand brake turns to try and topple them yes and it's not as easy as you think to take one of these is not because I still want to don't want to be on one if ever am but no because of the weight differential between the top there's so much more of the mass yeah yeah but that's just what makes this all click this I'm

just going to say click for and you can count I'm going to say click click because there must have been oh that's another one so I'm going to say three clicks so everybody. The moon is very moody tonight over Ayrith. Yeah. And look, they're not even saying what the next stop is on the readout. Have we got a defective redoubt? It could be. To be fair, this is one of those hail and white type areas. No, because they say that. I bet it isn't. I don't have. It's just too far out. We're way out. You're going back in for a snake. Going up for another twin snakes. All blue and... I love the

fucking smell of this as well. These could be my new favourites. Look, that's a big piece of park or something. This is Mote Lane. We're on a place called Mote Lane. So I take it there is an 81 route there. 89. Is this 89? This is the night. This is the night.

So there is an 89 way. And this is we're on the official and that's where on the lapel mikes. Look at this old pub. Oh, that looks like an old fire station, doesn't it or something? No. It's like a big grand old hotel. There's a click. There's a click.

No. Are we... No. What's this stop? The Forest Road. This is Slade Green Overground Station. That's a big Union Jack. The Legion's...

Yeah, it's probably a sports club or something, yeah. And also there was the Yee Day recently, so there's going to be a lot of fly-ups anyway. You're right. This is crazy business. We're going all around. Now, do you know what's out here is Thamesmead, famous for where Kubrick filmed parts of Clockwork Orange. It's a huge brutalist. town but really has and it's coming down and has seen as a failure because it

doesn't connect well with London it's an island to be like an island city kind of thing it was meant to be lucky yeah but it was meant to have it never really it got neglected and it got crime ridden because it wasn't connect you know what I mean it didn't future proof it didn't work it didn't work but there's some fantastic architecture in it and I was hoping we might catch a glimpse of some of that on this ride will will we no we're just going through a lot of sort of 1930s style suburban housing here. This looks like, doesn't it?

Like a bit like this. Like Hampson Garden Suburbs sort of style. I'm actually beginning to like majorly clench my own on this because he's swinging about, yeah. I mean, he knows what he's doing. He's done this a thousand times, I imagine. I got into an accident in my Uber the other day. I know, Christ, man.

Here we go. Did you leave him a tip? Oh yeah, mate. He should have stopped. Unless that's not a bus stop to stop at, maybe. Maybe. Who knows? Oh, he didn't stop.

Now he stopped. Oh dear. Is he running after? I would, because I'd be fucking angry if I missed this bus. You've got to let him on. Oh, it's going to kick off. It's like... No, I may be at the wrong stop.

No, I may be at the wrong stop. wrong stop. Either way. Well, that is the danger of a night bus stop. This is one. No. I got caught out by that once in fucking... Oh, there you go.

Well, that is the dangers of a night bus stop. Just because you're at a bus stop does not mean you're at the right bus stop. No. I got caught out by that once in fucking... Long Elms? No. In Kingston, I think it was. Because you thought you were going the right way.

were going the right way everyone's had that no no no no I literally went to a bus stop that I expected to be where the night bus went to and it just didn't it was just a bus stop for the daytime route but yeah there's these slight differences and with the the super loop buses that's become even more so yeah because you might not be at a super loop stop even though it's on the route yeah click click that was a bit of an incident man I don't fucking blame him you've been in a situation oh yeah it's no it's where you're at a bus stop you put your hand out And they just...

Yeah, yeah, it's infuriated. Especially at this time the night when you want to get over and you don't want to wait another half a fucking hour. Look at that one. Yeah. Oh, now we've started to see. Look, he started to... Maze feels close.

Mays feel close now. Does this overlap with any other route we've done before? It may, when we get closer in, but definitely not now. Click. That was Mace feel close. Yes. It's quite a pace. Sorry about the bumps.

I might have to lift my body over the pumps. You can't you? Hopefully it will stop rattling when we get closer in. But he's going. Well, I mean, these speed bumps are fucking nightmare in general. And why he's got, this goes right over him, yeah. Click, that one. Unsuitable for HGVs.

Apparently this route is. Well, this isn't an HGV, is it? Is this officially an HGV? It's not a heavy goods vehicle, no. This is the biggest road we've hit so far. It looks like an A road or a double, dual carriageway. It's definitely a dual carriage way, darling. And there's a shell garage there. I can even tell you this is the A206. If any nerds out there want to know. This is the most pathetically nerdy thing we do. I love it, man. This has already been absolute Chef's Kiss.

I just hope these are recording are they recording I mean I'll double check right double check yeah they're recording yes so you see my little red dots my voice okay you're on the right I'm on the left great click North End Road Collier's Lane cool you alone Northumberland Heath is up there you're right you just don't need to shout out every road sign oh we're going up oh we're off it already we're off it already we're off it already A little bit on an A road and back to the suburban... I tell you what?

I don't think this journey's going to be 90 minutes based on the fucking speed. No, he's going so fast. I'm going to say it might be 90 minutes because once we get closer to the centre it's going to slow things down. Yeah. Which is always the shame because the most interesting bit for me is when we're further out and you don't recognise it, you know. Which goes quicker. But... That's one of the ironies of night busing, I guess. I will say this though. No matter what suburb in London you go to,

they're all kind of the same, but you definitely know when you're south and north. It's hard to put your finger on. You know yourself now. I mean, of course we do because we made the journey, but you can still get this South London vibe. I agree. Look at these little houses, these little cottage areas.

Yeah, they're like little bungalows is what they are. They're like the 30s bungalows, yeah. It's cool. Stopping at Colliers Walk towards Bexley Heath. Got another passenger, so I think there's four passengers on. four passengers on this bus including us now. I haven't been counting. We got away.

Has he got off yet? No? Yeah. You know what? I think I'm going to have a little bit of me coffee now. I'm a little poach. Okay. Go for it.

I'm a little porch. It's okay for you. Not too weak. I'll be honest with quite dilute. It's fine. I made him coffee everyone. It's the heat that I need. It's the heat that I need.

Oh, we're getting more passengers here. You're thumbling way. Yeah. these they've been out all night on the rouse and going home there no other roots apart from the 89 in the n809 come down here cracking coffee yeah no I'm happy with that cool it can still nutty roasted still taste it yeah no complaints absolutely not good hits the spot and it's still nice and hot yeah no I'm happy with that

Now, ladies and gentlemen, out of interest for the cheap show nerds out there, the coffee cup that I'm drinking from is the coffee cup I bought at Tesco, where Eli and I went looking for events magazine, factory thing. Did you buy it that night? Yeah, when we got the Muppets Lego as well. Yes. Yeah. And you haven't used it soon? I just realized if I talk away from the mic, it doesn't pick it up as well. So I'm trying to...

Yeah, I understand. Yeah. So, click. Click. I've lost count. I mean, look. Yeah, because it's not a real click and you're just saying the word click. I'm also not really paying attention to it. Yes, that was the day where we went on that little walk,

the actual location event had put into that issue of the magazine. Yeah. There was like a picture, a comic book, photo comic book thing. Yeah, and models, which was fantastic. Impeccable work. And we recreated it and it went to it. It was like it was really, really, uh, Godforsaken is the word.

It was like the industrial wasteland. But we did go, we drank half a bottle of Furnet and we ended up in the Tesco. Let's keep forgetting about the Furnet. We were half cut off Furnet, mate. Furnet though, man, it's just the last straw. It's the last straw. It's like mouthwash. I'll have to drink this, I guess.

I like it. It falls into that category of booze. The, oh, I've already got Perno left. Okay then. I prefer Furnet to Pernaud, though, I tell you. You know, something about that and a set, really. I mean, there is a sort of part of Fernet. It's got some of that flavor, but it's also got

other much stronger flavors. Like bitter, bitter menthol. Either way, for the cheap show fans out there, which I presume are you, because you're a patron, yes, this, I'll add to the coffee mug that I bought and yet never got around to ever use it. Well, now it's serving its function, in it? Yeah.

It's waiting for its day. I've bought some coffee as well. Yeah. I've added milk and mine's not going to be as good, I don't think. Oh, did you put milk in yours? Yeah. And also, I'm on my second boost raspberry and apple sugar-free. Which is too many boosts.

What booze? Boost. Oh, boost. Linturst. There's a few Linturst roads in London. Yeah, there must be several. It's a very common name, isn't it? And so is Hurst and so is Lind.

Poor? Yeah. The route has calmed down in terms of the... Weaving. The weaving and the speed bumps, hasn't it now? It's more direct. I don't know where we are. How many places do you think are called Long Lane in London?

A lot of long lanes. A lot of long lanes. That's Long Elms near where we are. Long Elms, yeah. That's got like three different bus stops. All called exactly the same thing. Well, it is long lanes, mate. Long Elms, so it is long.

Yeah, but could you have Longelms 1, Longelmester? Bexley Heath, everyone. Oh, bus depot. Look at that bus depot, that's great. Oh, I wish you had your phone for that. That's a massive bus depot, man. Oh, I didn't get your phone that. Bexley Heath, Bus.

Morley's, that's how you know you in South London. Apart from when you see them anywhere. Yeah, but they're... Look, the cloud. cloud, it looks like one of those nebulas, the way the cloud is behind a finger of, the moon is behind a finger of dark cloud then. A finger of dark cloud is just enough to make your teeth go green. Is that what you used to sing, a different version that says, to make your teeth go green?

A finger of fudge is just enough to make your teeth go green. It's full of evil goodness you don't know where it's been. A finger of fudge is just enough to make your teeth go green, plop, something like that. That's excellent pull. Are we both feeling the energy drinks now Because we're like, I'm open so, mate I'm open so I'm open so

Just a minute You've got another tweet as well Well there's always the nerves I have Before we set off Because I always fear the worst What? That we're going to miss it Anything, just calamity

Misery and Calamity Would have been I mean we would Plenty of time At least this wasn't a race To the fucking start point Yeah Which to be honest

It's a bit of fun for the listener, but for us it's fucking wet knickers time. The only one where it really, really mattered, though, was the SL7, because that was the last plus we were catching from. The worst one

that I'm glad we didn't. Yeah, that was the one I'm glad we didn't miss. Because you thought it was Ropee then. Because it fucking was. It was like, here's a council estate that looks angry. Why don't you wait here for 40 minutes for the next one? You think it was more

friendly in Erith where we started now. A little bit. Yeah. Oh, these twin snake Araboe. Oh, give us one more twin snake, please. And you have to eat them together. You can't have some separate. That's what I mean. They're good, aren't they? They're doing something worthwhile with the sweet medium, you know what I'm saying? A little bit of sparkle. Bexley Heep, I don't think we've ever been to it. I've never been to Bexley Heaf and yet it always seems to come up in conversation. Not always, that's a lie. But it seems to kind of come up every now and there. Yeah. Maybe I've got friends who live there or live near there or... I don't know. Oh my god, there's...

The Furs Ren, Wetherspoon. I went to a place other day called Furs Platte. Really? Yeah. But it was far, far west. Which is spelled with a Z like that? F-U-R-Z-E. Yeah, yeah. Oh, lovely old clocktower in Bexley-Heath. And that is... Bexleave Clock Town is the name of the name. this stop towards Beckley Heath Station or Welling. Oh look there's another union jack you're right it must be the VE day definitely

it's the VE day because it was only what last week wasn't it last Thursday or something? Yeah, quite quiet isn't it? I guess it's Monday night. It's Monday night. We always try to do these bus journeys on what people would call a school night to avoid drunk revelers essentially. We can and that's putting it fucking massively politely. But touch wood, this has been...

Oh, mate, don't talk about touching wood, mate. Are you touching cloth? I'm making my own... Really? Yeah. I made sure to go. My own podcast in my pants right now. I got really thirsty because we had fish and chips.

Well, you had sausage and chips and I had fish and chips. I fucking mashed them. It was very salty. Nice, tasty, but salty. You know what? You don't think about chips when you eat them, right, in terms of... in terms of, eh, in my gob, in my gob. But in terms of actual number of potatoes,

how many potatoes are in me right now? Like five regular-sized kind of potatoes? Probably, yeah. Probably more. And yet, if you put six potatoes from front of me... You couldn't do it. I'd struggle to eat them. Yes, yeah.

That's why chips are so, yeah. That's why they're... And also... And also, I've decided there is no point in having large chips on your menu because I think small chips... It's fine. Yeah, that's...

The place is just, it's, yeah, I ate, you know, I ate half the chips. I got normal size fish and chips, and I ate half the chips. You're going to cane them when you get home? No, because they're cold, they're totally different thing, cold chips. No, you're right. It's a totally different thing. They're not as nice at all. It's not like cold pizza, which is almost just as nice for me.

Passable, but I'm not a fan of... The Chips completely change their character. The Rongan. There's a free house called the Rongen. I talked my girlfriend up the wrongen last night. That's why that pub is called that. Do you think? I can say that, yeah.

Of course it is. I mean, why else would... I mean, good, because it could have been given so many other fucking worst names. Really? Yeah, like the shitter. Oh, Superloop.

This is the Superloop stop. Which SL goes from here? Three. Is that one of the new ones? I don't think so. I think it's just because we're not being around these neck of the woods before. We hit the Superloop.

This is going to be the, what, south-west? No, southeast. Yeah. Part of the loop. Still going through Bexley Heath. I'd imagine this super loop probably goes somewhere near where we started in the opposite direction. Probably ends somewhere towards Stratford maybe. Yeah.

I'm guesstimating on that. Because I could look it up, but fuck you and fuck that. No, we're just having a nice bus ride. Just have a lovely bus ride. Crooked log. Hurtling through the night. Cross log. And apologies if you're hearing any loud bangs and shudders and

It's quite a ratly old bus. As we go over bumps and such, but it's the best we can do. It is the best we can do. I mean, I could chip them out, but sometimes we're talking, and it, does it? Yeah. Where are we now? I bet you've been on the bus 20 minutes. Feels like an eternity.

Crook log. Crook log. Talk about the crook log. Mine's feeling like a boomerong. I think this road is called crook log. Yeah. Yeah, I saw it. London Borough of Bexley.

Crook Log. That's an old school name, isn't it? Bexley is a nice name, right? Bexley. I like that. Bexley. Bexley could be a first name for a boy or a girl, couldn't it? Actually, you're right.

It's a nice first name. Come here, Bexley. Bexley, hello, I'm Bexley Heath. In fact, so many station names could just be people's names, couldn't they? Let's make a sitcom about people who have got tube stop names. And what would you call the sitcom? Uh... Stop names. Two-step name. Two-stop group.

Bexley Heath. This is an ad box of this, do you think? There's a park on the corner ahead of us. Big park. Maybe it's Bexley Heath. Maybe it's the heath that Bexley here. Just see if you can spot there's a sign there. I mean, maybe I'll just look at me map. Just look at your map. Which I'm going to do right now. A bus, it's not a night, it's just an end, 96, not an ear.

So this is. coming the other way dance or i can't i can't fucking i need my glasses this is i hate aging why don't you just put your glasses on i don't understand because i only need them for close stuff anything else i'm sitting perfectly fine with alongside you need them in a chain that's what you need dance and park this is dance and park as in ted yes see it's quite a big oh it's got a big river pond thing going for it boating pool a voting leg it's got a uh a football club up here somewhere that's cooler A lot of parks.

Oh yeah, there's the football pitch there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, ding, ding. You can see the stands, there. One of those little... Proper football, basically. Proper football. Proper football. That's where we are now.

These prancing supermodels who fucking... Guy. Look, this is weird. The name of this bus stop has a comma in it. Guy Earl of Warwick. It's got a comma after Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How funny.

You don't see that very often, do you? You don't. It's a guy. Earl of Warwick. Warwick guy who alone again on that couple got off young couple they're just going a few stops this part of the world yeah well they're going home maybe they're visiting a relative or something maybe they go into this pub no guy that's it's closed mate it's past midnight on a Monday that is closed 24-hour

London don't not make me laugh you can't get a drink nowhere nowhere gov are there any clubs open all night on a Monday night in London There aren't members, I mean, come on. Like gentlemen's clubs? No, casinos. Yeah, but they always had that license, didn't they? Yeah. Oh, it's a big Tesco.

Oh, Christ. Again, I'm completely unfamiliar with all of this part of London. Yeah, where is this? Since this is... Welling. Swelling. Welling. Welling.

I've never even heard of Welling. It's one of those names, isn't it? That is like, so general. I think what frustrates me about fucking night busing sometimes. Here we are in the part of London we don't recognise. And I bet there's like five really good charity shops here. But will we ever make the effort to come back here to look at them? Well, no.

Listen. Have we let down our audience by keeping our remit quite narrow to the greater London area? And we could have been exploring any part of the country. I'm up for that doing a night bus out of London. I know. Well, there's no night buses outside of London. Last time I mentioned this on the podcast. Someone cut, someone told you.

People were saying, no, there just isn't, look, this, they just don't have those in place in Manchester, Liverpool. It's a London thing, as they say. I mean, there are late night buses and they're probably the last ones at one or two in the morning. Yeah, there could be some, but they're not actual... But they're not 24 hour routes or... They ain't 24 hour routes or all night buses, mate.

Oh, no, nothing. There's McDonald's number three. See, there's a cancer research. What gold's in there? Yes. There's a same fucking whatever. They'd be good out here. Would it be good, wouldn't it?

What treats are we missing out on? Well, let's do it one day. we get out to Zone 4. Just pick a place. It's a tap hunt. Yeah. Tap hunt episode. Yeah.

Now, I went to McDonald's the other night to try their new offering. What's that then? It's like a called something stack, steakhouse stack or something. Oh yeah, bullshit. They gave me it and they gave me a chicken burger instead of a beef burger in it. Was it meant to have a burger in? A chicken in? No, it's meant to have beef.

It's just beef stack, one of those two patties. Instead of two patties of beef, they've just gone, we're out of that. Let's just give them this. and what I hope you don't notice it wasn't that bad but it was a chicken patty you know what I mean it's a chicken bread like we're hoping you wouldn't notice that they just do that they don't bother asking you because they just want you out the yeah I've got a meal deal thing the other day that was meant to include a oh what's all this nice old rail bridge old rail bridge maybe we crossed that going out

Bell Grove Road welling way this is welling where is this is a five pound meal deal It's supposed to include a, like, a chicken sandwich. And I heard her going, well, we just don't have it. I heard her, you know what I mean? In the kitchen saying that. And then it just wasn't in there. They just didn't put it, you know what I mean? You can blame them.

Come on, it must be fucking hell on earth. Yeah, I don't. I don't, you know, as long as they're not rude and it's not completely wrong or, you know, all the time, you've got to forgive. Well, to be fair, you have to, because it's a thankless job. Yeah. Yeah. It's what we always forget as humans is that there's a thankless job at the end of the convenient thing you want.

Exactly. So it's not really convenient then? Yeah. So someone has to go out of their way to be a horrible prick to me before I start going, excuse me, the customer's always right. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Whoever in the business CEO was, who once said the customer is always right, needs shooting in the fucking. temple it's it's just more of a an ethos isn't it's more of a sort of business speak ethos or you know it's sort of the mantra for like good

customer service sort of you know but it really yeah but it lacks the real listen of the situation yeah it's like a euphemism almost isn't it it it almost it's come it's it's so here's what it is it's the answer you give when you be asked to give the answer. Yeah, it's like a thought too-a-tee cliché. Yeah, yeah. Now it looks pretty rural up here. Now we're back in the field.

Oxley's wood, woodlands farm, it's called, this next stop. Yeah, what's this? Oh, what's this? Royal Greenwich we're going into now. We're into Royal Greenwich. Pretty cool. This is like proper countryside all of a sudden. Yeah. This is really wooded here, everybody.

This is werewolf country. Keep to the old lads. Yeah, it's really good. This really is like weird to see something that looks this rural but with these London bus stops. But it's weird. That's what I always love about London. One minute you're in like a built up area with like estates and housing areas, developments and shops and supermarkets and supermarkets. And then here we are in a perfectly lovely rural road through a wood. It's like when we went to Istanbul Country Park.

Yes. The unique and beautiful city. It has to be said. It's got its problems, I get it. Of course it's got its problems. But in terms of like the aesthetic, look at this whole tower up at the top of this hill. That's crazy, huh?

The road here are fucking awful, so apologies for the sound. Apologies for the sound, guys. Eaglesfield Road, look at that. Shooter's Hill. We've been to Shooters Hill before. This all feels like familiar, familiar. Now we're cresting a hill, and I can see the shard in the distance. Wow.

The whole of the Scud. High line in central London is coming up. There's a sign for Seven-Rug Castle. Really? That must be that thing we passed. No, it's ahead, it said. Wow, well, I can see the London eye. You can see the London eye right ahead.

Possible, we just passed it as well. See them? Yeah, yeah, see it. Ah, this is amazing a views from up here. It's called the high point, isn't it? Yeah. Brilliant. Oh, man, this is really dramatic.

No, Eli's loving this route. Oh yeah, it's up there somewhere. Seven Route Castle. Look that way. Never heard of it before. Wow. Just trying to get some shots. It's crazy, isn't it?

The whole city. Those are for the airline warning lights. Why have I never noticed the sea of red lights before? It's fucking amazing. Look at it. It's panoramic. Oh, here. We're getting to the foot of the hill now, but that was really crazy. It was like Blade Runner or something, wasn't it?

Yeah, almost. It was amazing. Vast city, like a blanket of red lights. Oh, I'm not to have another hot sip of me coffee. Oh, this is just brilliant, man. I think now we're getting towards Crystal Palace around there. I think we're going to come through there. That went by too fast for me to read the sign.

What's this big building? Is this a prison? Wow. That's a prison. Shooter's Hill Road. That's an old Victorian... Oh, is that like tenement housing or something? This is amazing round here. Weird. That is a really good stretch through the wood and then I cut up over the hill.

Over the hill. Called High Point as well. High Point, yeah. Funnily enough. Shooters Hill now around. Baker Road. Baker Road. What an amazing little stretch that was.

Oh, cracking coffee. This is a perfect coffee, though. I must commend you. Good. He knows how to make his boyfriend happen. make his boyfriend happy. Yeah, it's a mix of medium and high rice. I like the nuttiness, black and also tastes.

Yeah, there's a nut. For one of the better phrase, a nice tar note. Yes. Well, that's exactly what you're getting from the medium. You're getting the nutty from the medium and the tar from the high. Do you see what I mean? Lucky for the medium tar for the high. Something like that.

All right, mate. I think we need to come back down this neck of the woods for a walkabout. Yeah. Totally. I want to know what Seventhrug castle is. I'm going to look that up. Look it up, mate.

Because that seems like either a magical place or it's the name of the council estate. It's one or the other. Seven Drogh Castle. For your safety, please cross the cycle lane with caution. And there's a tea room there as well. Oh, how weird. It's supposed to be an old castle, eh? National Trust or something. That's what it looks like.

That was that thing? No, because it was ahead of us when you said it. Are you sure? Yes. Well, we have to come back to find out. Seth and Drew Gassel that way. Yeah, but maybe the road twists around. Because I saw it on the hillside.

It overlooks that big hill. I had to save you. Crazy. I've never even heard of it. It looks really Gothic, doesn't it? It looks really, it looks like a Victorian sort of fake castle thing. You know what I mean? I mean, it might be something like that.

What is it? Is an elegantly preserved Gothic tower situated on Shooters Hill, one of the highest points in London? Gothic Tower. Okay, it's a folly. designed by architect Richard Jupp. In the Victorian period. With the first stone laid on 2nd of April 1784.

No, wow. Old today, I was wrong. No, I want to know if it's haunted them. I bet it is. I mean, yeah, whatever. It doesn't really matter. There's no such things as ghosts. It is a grade two listed building.

It was given that title in 1954. It's 63 foot high. And has a hexagonal turret at each corner. Well, that's our destination. for the walkabout then, isn't it? We're getting focused. Definitely come back down here. We have a big roundabout here.

Shooters Hill Road. Kid Brook Park Road, massive. Griff Rees-Jones filmed a TV show. They're called Restoration, where they restored it. He doesn't do so much TV these days, does he? No. He's supposed to complain about modern comedy. Oh, does he do that?

Does he do that? No one will finance his next holiday on at BBC. Okay. One of those kind of things. Oh, well, no one wanted to give Grish That sounds like multi-fibbage. That's where I get the voice from, I think. It's across between like Griffrease Jones

and David Bellamy. Oh, I'm Griffith Jones. I get that, yeah. I miss old Mulsie. He always comes back. Now, these roads feel very South London to me now, with sort of grand houses and very wide road, but still not like an A road.

No. But this was the main road out of town you can imagine back of the day. Yeah, like a road. This got a vibe of an old. Roman Road, doesn't it? Yeah. Very straight, very wide. Here's another super loop. I'll tell you this as well. I've started to be watching all the ITV Sherlock Holmes as, Jeremy Brett. Those are the classic ones. It's the fucking master. And I know like Victorian London

was by and large a horrible place to live, but I do watch that show and go oh, I'd love to go back in time for a day and just walk around Victorian London. Well, I think it's designed to make you feel that. There's a fantasy or escapist. I mean, to be fair, the books are very nice. matter of fact about London and doesn't really shy away. And to be fair, and neither does the TV show, but there's still an element of costume drama

to it. But, God, that is like, after Colombo, that's my next comfort zone. You know what I mean? I'm happy. You can just stick it on, you just love it. Jeremy Benz. He's good. He just nails that character for me.

For me, he is the high bar. He never had much of a career outside of it. Well, I mean, he had a very complicated life. He suffered from mental health issues. Oh, really? His mum died in a car crash when he was very young. He was, yeah, it's a long story, but basically he was in a few musicals in the movies, a few TV shows. Small roles.

He passed away now? Long time ago, because when he was working on the Sherlock Holmes shows, he got deeply into it. Like, he was, like, you know, like, he wrote his own, like, Bible of the character. Wow. And that he kept with him the whole time. But, like, he was so prestigious about detail and character and performance that it got to his head. And so they started prescribing him. just so they could get through the shoot,

which led to problems on top of his drinking and his excessive smoking. So it chipped away at his health until, like, the very last season of that show, he's put on weight, and he's not quite the hawk, eagerly kind of very to spring into action shows that he was in 87, 88, whenever it was first filmed. And then he died not too long after the last series went out.

Okay. Bad health? Yeah, sadly. In his 50s or something? There was a specific thing that killed him, but why I have to do. At the top of the head, I can't think of what that is. We're on a big open common. We're crossing here. We're crossing a massive common here.

Yeah. There's a big church as well. Yeah, we've got to do a walk of an episode around there. It's really, is this Blackheath? No, it's... It's Greenwich. Montpellier row is. It's huge, open space.

SL4 crosses here. Nuts. So SL3 is over there. there somewhere probably now. Ah waltli d'i dae, by dee, by dee, by dee dee. We're all in now, this kind of... It's a big church, isn't it? Just on the corner of the common.

Yeah. There's a lot of places like this, in the sort of deep south. Oh, I've got lots of speed bumps. Here we go. Oh, clench for bump. Clench for bump. Clench. This has been one of the best nightbusters I've ever taken my life. Is it?

Really, that cresting the hill? I mean, don't get me wrong, that is cool, but I still really like that super route we did. All the way to Heathrow, I mean, that was pretty cool. I think the Heathrow is a nice finale to that route. Well, this isn't over yet. True. We're about half an hour in, surely now.

This is a nice mix of rural and urban as it weaves in and out of the hill. Black Heath, I knew. I was right, Black Heath. That's Black Heath Common. It's very distinct Blackheath Common. It's so wide open. I've been on the bus now for about four.

40 minutes. Do you want me to tell you exactly how long we've been on? Uh, it's probably going to say something like 28 minutes or something. 38 minutes. 38? Yeah. Gannon. Do you see it there?

No. I did, for once I did math quite quickly in my head. Oh, you did it because you saw the timer there. I know we exactly left at 55. You didn't just guesstimate. You actually calculate from the clock. I never inferred that I guess that. No, I know.

Lee Park. That could be someone's an hour. Yeah, I mean, look, again. That couldn't be someone's name though. Blackie Northland me, though, weirdly right now to me. It's a little bit Hampstead, yeah. Hamstead Heathie, right? Again, but look at the width of the road. I think we're in Hampstead Village, this road would be much narrower.

Yeah, but the vibes are what I'm talking like, what's this? It's like an old hospital. Yeah, it's a hospital. I couldn't quite read it. Back Heath Hospital, it says up there. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Was Blackheath Hospital where they filmed the carry-on film?

Oh, I don't know, I'm not going to lock that up. Could well be. They did a lot in this part of London, didn't they? It would have been probably more likely West London. That's where the studio, like, L Street and stuff. Yeah. But there is a website online where you could find the London locations for carry-on films. I would like to do that walk.

Well, you know, one of my favourite walk about episodes, of course, was the Dangerous Davis episode. Surprisingly one of my favourites as well. We went about West London, that was West. Yeah, because it was like Queens Park kind of area. That's great. Yeah. Good stuff. Yeah, we should go to that tower and just do, think of a walk about gimmick, go to some charity shops. Yeah, we don't need a gimmick anymore. We'll just grab some bits and go. All right. I mean, I've got a few gimmicky ideas. That's like what we did up in, we did in what for the other day, didn't we? Yeah.

I mean, we could just do a tat hunt episode, two-parter. One part shot, next part review. Or a walk about. That's called the tat hunt episode, is it? That's what I like to call them. Tat hunts are usually two-parts, where one part is the walk-about. Oh, and then the next part is next week we have the unboxing, so to speak. Yeah, the review.

Yeah. Okay, that's cool. Then we've got one then, ready to go there, mate. Well, I mean, we could do that. It's being much more urban now. I'm seeing some high rises here. Yeah. They look quite new, like these new residential...

Newer, yeah. New London vernacular, as they call it. But then that on the other side is like, well, 1960s, yeah. And these are like 30s, these mock Tudor or Sudo Tudor. Sudo Tudor. Sudo Tudor. A bit of pseudo Tudor. A bit of Sudo Tudor, darling.

Look, there's a Virgin Gym or Virgin Media. That doesn't even exist anymore, does it? Uh, yes, Virgin Media sadly does exist. What is it? It's their broadband. Jesus. Is that their office? That looks great.

I mean, maybe. I will say this. Virgin Media is dog shit. Are we coming into Lewisham? Are we? I feel like this is... Yeah. I feel like this is...

Sea, hold away. Painter. Lewisham Lane, yeah. Look, I recognised it, yeah. We're in Lewisham now. Now, we're in Lewisham. Now, this is overlapping with the 199. Okay.

So this is definitely, we've been on this. no busing. We've rejoined. Lucian clock towers, next stop. Bucket Mouth. Fishing chips, burgers, kebabs, fried chicken. I mean, it's a funny name for a restaurant, isn't it? Bucket Mouth, yeah. It's a bit like calling it, like...

Although the Lebanese Express 1 is weirdly specific. Suggesting they knew there was going to be a second one at some point. Or they renamed it 1 because they built a second. They opened them all at the same time. They just numbered them. Here's another clock tower. Actually, didn't we get on a bus here? Yeah, that's right, yeah. Do you remember? We had to change.

Yeah. For a night bus? Yeah. For the 1-99. Yeah. Got it. Did we have to change when we got the 1-9-9? Yeah, we did, didn't we?

It terminated or something, did it? There was a reason why we had to change. I don't know if that was... You're conflating that with another night where we are. I don't think so. No, you're right, though, because we did have to wait at that stop, didn't? Why would we be here at that time a night, unless we were doing night bus. So, I'm a bit disappointed because we've hit the bit where I know now.

That was all... We don't know where this will fling us next, you know? You know? I mean... I mean, we could look it up, but... It's supposed to be another, what? 50 minutes. Allegedly.

Another whole hour. It can't, though. It would be another 45 minutes, wouldn't it? If anything, we would get in at 25 past at Chafalgo. Okay. It could be another 45, couldn't it? Could it? It could be around about, yeah.

Still quite far out here. I guess. Yeah, I guess. There, see, 1-99. It stops here. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Oh, I'm joining up the jot.

I'm going to... Overlap. plan comes together. It's the then diagram of night bussing. It was so excellent. We owned it with the transport down here. You know what we could do if we want to get really anal about it, we could find out night bus routes that link the other night bus routes together so we can make one perfect circle of a route around London on aggregate over time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do a ring. Yeah. You know, as close as dammit, because obviously there's going to be certain bus stop that don't match up with other night bus routes.

But this is two that do, isn't it? Yeah. Well, these are overlapped. So you remember we turned around up there? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that big with a big glass turn around, yeah. That's Canada water away.

So maybe that's what it was. We got off at the train station, then had to walk to the bus stop. Nice men here, Plinth up here. Blackheath Rise, we're on now. Blackheet Rise. I saw a great big, um, I saw an album, um, made out of stone. And it had written on it the sign of the time. like the sign of the times.

I think the artist was plinth. I think the artist was plinth. Yes. I saw it. You said it twice and I laughed the second time. The second time was what made it work. Plinth. Yeah, I've got it.

Then next to it, there was another one, but it was a bit smashed. And that was the statue formerly known as plinth. Gannon's... It's because he's back too much caffeine. I've had quite a lot of sugar. And caffeine. Oh, I love all this.

we've got some yeah i do remember this because this kind of weaves in and then goes to like we do remember this this is the same route isn't it yeah oh yeah so then theoretically we shouldn't be more than like 20 minutes or so yeah yeah because remember it all kind of perhaps it just says it takes 90 minutes so no one gets angry you know what i mean or maybe just an estimation base got great views of the city here as well and we're closer to the red lights of the central zone Yeah. Parkside.

I see 10. How we do? Yeah, well, we're still good. We're still recording. I had two little red lights on, right? I can see the two little red lights for... We're good. We're good.

Is it time for me to have some coffee? Go on, mate. Come on, you've held back 40 long. I hope I managed to get the rot out because it's just... My flask was just there since the last time, which was half a year ago. Yeah, skanky, skanky badness. I have been... I had to have been. rinse it and wash it a lot. Did you put a lot of hot boiling water? I did.

I couldn't get all the stains out there. Because you don't want to use very liquid in it because then you get the smoky issue, soapy issue. Yeah but then I rinse. No I know, but like for instance... It smells alright. So you can rinse it but sometimes you still get the smell of it on your nose. Yeah, I know. A residue. Look, look. That looks all right. It looks all right. I'm going to join you at my having my black coffee. Oh God, that's lovely. That's bloody lovely, man Have you got the sweet milk and coffee?

No, it's got milk, yeah That's what I'm saying, apart from the milk It's the same mix Same batch I just split it in two Oh yeah It's a good taste actually You're right

It's got a nice I'm definitely got to have a black Nice nutty with the little bitter tar as well But yeah I'm definitely glad I had that black Kind of hits different George and the Dragon God, that's fucking great

I'm having so many peak moments people going into a closed-down pub there What's going on there? That looks like it's either a lock-in Or they work there And they just work and live Maybe I still can't believe

I still can't believe The Swiss Cottage pub's closed now I can't believe he did that It's that guy, you know, the nutcase Who owns the Samson? Smiths. Why has he done that? It's like, I know it might have been the most busy pub in the world,

but it was kind of iconic. It's terrible, and then what are you, what are you going to do? Tear it down. What's he going to do with it? I presume he's going to knock it down. You can't knock it down. Of course he can't. Because the pub landlords these days are fucking psychopaths. And him

specifically, he's a fucking mental case. Yeah, it's a mental case. But doesn't he just let places just go to, he just... And he hates coffee. He'll bite out of spite places just to close him, so they don't affect his own pubs nearby, you know. And he just lets places go to ruins. Yeah. I mean, that would also be a shame, but it would be better than him knocking down the Swiss cottage.

Well, isn't the point of the place? I think that building only dates from like the 1950s or something, that particular one. So why was it called Swiss Cottages there? Because there was a building before, which was a Swiss chalet-style building. So it wasn't that one? No. That structure. is from in the 50s or 1930s, something like that. Was it built over the place?

Yeah. So theoretically on that spot. There's been several before, I think. You know, it's like a big, busy junction, isn't it? It's a very busy junction. That'd be terrible. They shouldn't let that happen. It's the whole point, the whole tube station is named after that.

It's the Swiss cottage. It's the only double cheese Yes. On the whole network. Swiss cheese. cottage cheese swiss cottage cheese yeah i'd like to try that the holes wouldn't stay though because you would not be old would you well how would it be swiss then they'd just be bubbles cheesy bubbles how about that oh what's that station up there

depthford bridge he was still quite oh yeah detford bridge wait did we start an episode of the cheap show podcast here as well no why did i say the cheap show podcast is if i'm trying to explain to you what that is well this is not the cheap podcast. No, this is night busing. This is night busing. It's a tangential offshoot of the vein. I've got a sweat on up, having that hot coffee. Really? Yeah. You know what's kind of pathetic? God's meant to be fantastic and everywhere, right? So what is every place? But he's got to be not happy with that Believers Mission Church of God building, right? It looks shoddy, yes. The font's terrible. Yeah, but he's not, he's not big on, he's not, he's not big on

aesthetics is it yeah no apart from the Vatican that's bloody good looking in it did you see where they had the Pope's funeral no it's crazy amazing I just for some reason I clicked on something on YouTube and it was just like live stream of that where he was lying in rest it was really ambient with like the echo-e voices of everyone in the church you know what I mean the problem is every time I think of that I think of Derek and Clive what they talk about getting turned on by the dead Pope Under that line, Peter Cook says where he goes, oh, you know, he plucked his nose hairs out

and I just gave me the fucking on because, you know, he just looked so fucking vulnerable. Yeah, that's brilliant line. Dear cunts of charging religion. I love Derek and Clive. Love it. This is much more urban now. In Deptford, it must be.

Again, very unfamiliar. There was a big market road, pedestrianised market road. Morley's. Paul, that's how you know you in South London. Even though they have several moorleys in North London. Quite a few. They've got them in Harrow, don't they? Yes.

Florentrow towards Bricklayers' arms, Peckham, Surrey Keys. So yeah, we're on familiar terms, no. I'm not that familiar with it. The 1-99 is no longer on this route, so they diverge from it. Yes, that's why I mean, I'm not familiar. This isn't the 1-99, road. Yeah. And so it might take a bit longer.

Trafalgar Square. Well... Well... It's going up by Elephant Castle, right? Aren't we going, we might be going close to where we were the other day. Nunn, uh, Nunhead. Nunhead? Nunhead.

Wasn't that near Peckham and all of that? New Cross we're at now. Oh yeah, for the, um, well we were at New Cross, weren't we? When we did the, uh, Sean the Dead Walk? Yes, that's right. Hey, let's keep an eye out for that bus stop with the Hellraiser's on the roof. Oh, yeah. I think that's still there, because I think Quang took a picture of it the other day.

Oh, really? Yeah. It's a real pilgrimage for people now. The Hellraise a bus stop. Isn't it? That's kind of what I like about humanity. For all its flaws, something like that can happen. And humanity just goes, yeah.

That's fine. I'm fine with there being VHSs of a horror franchise on a bus stop. About 14. As a tourism feature. It is. It's a great tourist feature. Is that round here? It's all...

It's all... It's all... It's all... It's up that way. Okay. As we head towards, like... like an elephant castle yes yeah it's much further in I still think three one three there's an eight and eighty nine which is what we are and one

three six and one seven one there's an n fifty three there there's loads of buses around here now there's loads of them darling there's one that's not in service there's a place called one for the road there's a terrible name for a bar yeah I think it's better than the wrong though come on that's a terrible man yes it is new cross-in that's a good music venue it looked like it had a stage well there's a big art school goldsmiths oh yeah so they do get love young folk arty young folk so great great stuff isn't this isn't that where I'm that fucking con from the

libertines went dockety yeah yeah he literally looks like a bin man these days I know he's and maybe responsible for someone's death remember that when he was involved in that hotel room

I just don't I didn't get the music at all I hated it I can't stand the liberties yeah terrible at all

I'm glad that whole era of landfill indie or whatever you want to call it that indie was so ubiquitous and boring for years wasn't it well the problem was

it was like you know Brit pop implode imploded and there was no real british music identity to fill in the void and it took about 10 years before anyone found any footing and then that way it went into pottymism which is acts like what well it just becomes like libertines and like the strokes or not the strokes um the cooks cooops yeah that kind of thing and all those kind of cane remember cane i hated all of that all that tweedly shit oh yo yo hated that

that I hated the Coots. They come doing a comeback, I saw a post of the other day. The guy's voice, it's one of those ones. Yeah, you know what I mean? You know, that quality. It's like that low par new faces sound. Yeah, they're sort of, yeah, not Steve Marriott. We're going to take a little bit of squeeze,

I'm going to take a bit of our Obis Castel, a little bit of punk, and a little bit of grip off. But just I felt the voice, especially with the Coots, the voice was so mannered, so put on. You know, the way he's pronounced words when he sang. Anyway, just my personal taste is fine. Yeah, no, it's my personal. We're just sounding like old men.

Look, there's an end that, you know, and go. There's another way. Oh, yeah. That's going all the way out. Imagine that, that'd be a terrible way to go, because then you'd be an eriff. Not that there's, you know, anything that bad about what I saw in Erif. But the finale there is not going to be as fun as the finale for us.

No, we're getting into Trafalgar Square, maybe. And you can't appreciate the view when you go in the opposite away from it. You know, you're coming down from the high point, you see in all the... Amazing. You can't see it out the rear view. Well, you'd have to turn around. around. That's what you're saying. Yeah. And that's not how we travel. There's another Morleys. Or is that a fake Morleys? No, that's a moorleys, all right.

No, it's cool. No, you're right. Meebos. It's called Metroses. The real, it's the real taste. And you know what? If you all pissed it to in the morning, you stumble past it. You go, hey, it's moorie. You don't care anyway, though. And it probably is the exact same stuff they have there anyway. Metros is the real taste. And not the way they're always having a go at each other. The best kebam of the world. With mollies, the tagline is it's the taste yeah it's the real taste no it's not it's not pretending to be mollies is what it no this is the real taste don't listen to that shop our shop is the best

yeah screw you margaret in the white zone is it that's literally where else going with that i love that it's an airplane reference everyone there we go oh i love that oh screw you margaret whatever that line is though you know i just love that Is this familiar? This isn't particularly familiar, is it? I don't think we've done this group before. This part of it anyway. No, see, I think we keep going. It really does...

It goes on quite a circuitous... Which is why it takes longer. It feels like it's wriggling. Yeah. It's been a great one and it's starting really far out. Yeah, we are in Peckham now as well. We are in Peckham, see? It could have gone straight in.

Do you see what I mean? The way the 1-99 did goes more direct. Oh, A-road and stuff, yeah. I think this winds and I really hope the sound isn't too bad for everyone. This is a gamble. There's a moorleys. Yeah. This is the gamble we take with night bussing.

We can't control anything out of the time the microphones we're wearing. No. I do my best to treat it and stuff, so. And it's usually listenable, part from the rattling of the bus. I do love it as well. I do love a night bus. I still want to do a multi-night bus route. Well, I like that drink. Rubicon, Sparkling Passion.

Yeah, I like Rubicon, Passion food. And, um, pomegranate. Yeah. I'm mad for parnogramming. Yeah, anything. Pomegranate, anything? No, just the Rubicon. Just the Rubicon.

Yeah. And then the worst Rubicon, in my opinion, is lichy. It's just too sickly sweet. Whoa, say I. The lichy rubicon. The lichy one is too sweet, yeah. So now what I love is that lichy and whatever it is, Lichie and passion fruit, special edition of Vimto.

Whoa. They've run out of it at that shop. They've run out. It's gone. It's gone forever. I'll tell you what. If I see him in a shop, I'll buy a few bottles and start stockpiling for the... Like you stocked up on the Canadian Raspberry or whatever it's called.

British Columbia Raspberry Coca-Cola. Mate, I went in there the next week and got two more. Really? Yeah, they're still a favorite. It's your favourite. Yeah. It's very nice. I'm like genuinely surprised. It's a lovely combo, isn't it?

Without losing the Coca-Colaness of it all. Where are we now, is he? Peckham, it just says. I'm not familiar with this as well. No. This has been one of the... Oh, welcome to Peckham. Oh, there's some...

Prince of Peckham. Oh, they're shooting a video there. You see that? No, I didn't see it. They're shooting some kind of YouTube video, I think. Some ewes. Oh, bloody ewes. With the YouTubers and their Instagrams.

Yeah, see, this is all a bit of backway. So it could be. It's been another 20 minutes already, hasn't it? Well, we've been on it an hour, basically, now. Give or take a minute. All right, so another half hour. going to get to the full 90 minutes to check on the recording status status and we are still going going through some estates here we didn't you were right we didn't see any

attempts made the brutalist estate attempts made completely circumvented that yeah oh what's that green light in there what's going on oh it's just a reflection of something weird we must do the green light inside oh look i'm we're going i can see the shard up to my right here. God, this is really bumpy road. Fucking hell. Hopefully it won't be too bad. You'll be able to do a treatment. I mean, to be fair, I listened back to the Superloop one and like on reflection, I wish I'd done more to compress the noise on those things. But it's not something you realize until you get through the edit of it where you go, oh, maybe I should have... Okay, well, look, this

would be better, right? I mean, what I might do is I like chip at it if we're not talking and they do them but sometimes we're talking yeah when we go over Mumbai it's you know we can't do much about that it just sounds ugly everybody here before it feels like we have doesn't it this is Hanover Park but maybe not I Elsham Center which looks like a big 80s horrible like covered mall thing yeah horrible it looks pretty run down down around here yeah well British Art Foundation. They've always quite good British Art Foundations in my view.

The only shops I tend to find that, I let down. Are, Alps fans. And shelters? It's what Shelter to have done some recently, where they've kind of... They try and judge it up, don't they? But they've stripped out all the charm of it. Yeah. And then everything that's on there is kind of safe.

I know. I know. I know. You know, we liked this discussion before. Me and you, we like our bric-bracky places. I like the more bric-a-brackey. But I have to say, I mean, we're criticised Oxfam, but their book and record, their specialist book and record once, are brilliant.

But they're prices for those. They're priced it, like, right, but yeah. Too much, some would say. Well, what's that? What's all this? What's all this? That's a library. It's a Burger King.

Big Burger King. It's a fucking massive Burger King. Or necessarily Big Burger King. See, this is going to, oh, another moorley's, or is it? Yes. Oh, fucking out. Morleys. Mmm, it tastes better.

Ours tastes better, I think you'll find. Loading is in the red sun. Yeah, it might be 90 minutes, man. It's really going round the houses down here. Yeah. And I'm here for it, mate, because I'm not sleeping off the amount of caffeine I'm bloody done. N-136, N-171-N-343. I've done two boosts and a coffee coffee coffee.

I did that ice latte, or no, that creamy coffee in a tin that I got. Boost coffee in a tin. Boost coffee in a tin. What in the world. It was fine. I had a ready break note, which I didn't find completely. No, it's nice of red, a little bit of a brand. A little bit of brand.

A little bit of brand. And then I had a red bull, and then I've had that coffee, and then all the lovely sugar from your worms. Are you going a million miles an hour, mate? Give us another worm, please, yeah. Double worm. I'm going to go for the blue one, blue and red. Oh God, they're too good.

All right. Too good. It's the sour and the sweet, the interplate. play they play off each other entwined as they are rolling around your tongue as you yin and yang of flavors as you sort of bit of fizz bit of sweet that's a bad name for a restaurant foodie cuisine we'll be the i'll be the judge of that right vestry road again it's got very leafy all that something around here what those sweets yeah they just make me want to

guzzle cola they make you want to guzzle cola yeah or drinks it's just something sugar I'm just my mouse full of saliva right now talking a bit weird here on the night bus it might get me cock out don't there's other people on the top deck yeah this is a real odyssey through South London. Certainly don't recognise all of this. It's going to start getting recognisable at some point, isn't it? Oh yeah.

I think we're going to come into Elephant Castle and that's the way we'll go up through there. Yeah. Do you think, maybe? I don't know. Do you know what? I did take a picture of the... There's another moorleys.

Wow, there's loads of mollies around here, mate. I did take a picture of the route, didn't I? So let me have a quick look. This does go through Elephant Castle now. Where are we now, how did it say? Campbell Well Green. So it says we should have hit that at the 67 minute mark, which would be... Around now.

58. Which is... Yeah, literally now. So it's on the clock. It's been keeping to time. And yeah. So it's going to go Elephant Castle, Southwark. Blackfriars.

Oh, gay. Well, black fries we were there the other day. Yeah. When we did our thing in me-jigami. There's a restaurant there called Noodle City. I approve of everything that implies and stands for. Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. See, those vapes are called Elf Bar.

Girl, I want to take it to the Elf Bar. But that's going to be health. Yes, I know. They're trying to say health, but because it's... debate they can't say it's health yeah we're coming in now to very familiar territory I've got real sweat on might be to do with my sort of general level of health rather than the actual eye I'm going to go ahead and suggest that you would you can see the shard there very much like the

alley of Sauron towering gloomily over towering of London basically yeah I don't like the shard that much I don't like it at all just don't care for big glass bastard no at least it has a shape and it's sort of recognisable it's not just like a huge blocky tower I guess yeah yeah a lot of buses parked up down here in Camberwell green I guess this is a little little kind of mini hub. Actually, there's a fucking load of buses around here. It must be to do with the disruption. Maybe.

Because on today's day, everybody, May 12th, 2025. I mean, strictly speaking, it's now low 13. Now we're on then. Yes, good one. A month from now, we'll be 10 years old, Eli. Oh, look, you see St. Paul's. You see the dome of St. Paul's straight ahead. That's quite cool.

St. Paul's Cathedral, everyone. No, there was a big power outage on the... Underground. ground today massive disruption and delays and I think that might be an effect of that you know what I mean because it affects the whole system when stuff like that happens this is great coming down through Camberwell I can see the building that they call the electric razor which has the three big fans at the top of it that's in elephant

Nice breeze What a lovely picture that is in a kind of expressionistic way Yes, we've got yourself in the reflection and the roads and the streaks and the vanishing point Are you going to put up any photos? I'll probably put these up on Instagram

just so they're uploaded somewhere I've taken a few Yeah because it's hard for paper I don't know where to put these photographs. I can't. I can make a separate post theoretically with just photographs off. Yeah, but it's getting round to it, isn't it?

I mean, you know me and the plates I spin, mate, so... Anyway, this is... I'm glad we did this one. It's been epic. And what your thoughts on the whole of the night's 89 experience, Paul? It's a bit, you know what? Solid. It's a solid night bus. God Almighty, the fucking rattley bang bangs.

I don't think you notice it during the day, because the... The traffic slows everything down. Yeah, and during the day, you're usually not trying to make an audio podcast on it, right? Yeah. Ding, ding. There's that steakhouse stack. That's what I'm talking about. So it was all of that stuff, like the sauce, the onions, but not the two beef patties.

Instead, it had a crispy, like a McChryspy chicken patty in it. Gross. Can you imagine? Wow, we're really rattling now, baby. Yeah, sorry, everyone, if you're hearing nothing but rattly bang bangs. It's actually quite surprising how poor the road are. East Street. Oh, this is going up towards...

Elephant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I remember going into that charity shop and getting a... Right here? Yeah, and getting the Canon of Ball album. Which he loved, don't you? It's the one where they're pretending to record the album in a recording studio. Yes.

They do all songs and reasonably offensive material about game... ...music producers. Yeah, but at least they're not canon. Little and Large. Little and Large. I mean, even in my... They were a million miles away from Lilithers. In my darkest hours, I do think to myself,

at least I'm not Little and Large. Are they both in the ground? No, Eddie Little. Eddie Sid Little is still alive. I think he runs a bed and breakfast in Blackpool or something. And he seems to be quite happy in his life. Well, that's nice. Fair play. He's probably relieved that Eddie Large went first.

We just fucking breathe without... feeling someone's going to jump out of him. And do a fucking deputy dog impression. He no longer has to worry about halfway through his buddy Holly impression, being attacked by, yeah, deputy dog or Popeye or WC Field, you know what I mean?

Did he used to do WC Fields? You saw that Stuart Millard video, right, of the first series a little and large, and it's almost painful, how limited their material is. They're terrible. They're corpse a lot, though, don't that? I don't mind that. Yeah. I really don't mind that. No, that's sort of,

the charm in it, isn't it? Yeah, but what I really mind is the, like, Eddie Braggman wrote for them. So let me just put it into context, right? Eddie Brabham wrote for Morkman Wise. And during the golden years of Morkman and Wise on BBC One, Eddie Brabham was their comedy writer. He came up with the ideas of, like, they would be in bed, like a couple. All of that stuff, you know what I mean?

He came up with every single piece of iconic stuff we remember for. When they're doing to the stripper and they're doing breakfast, I think that's his sketch. Either way, you know, like he's tied to them forever, but when Mugman Wides left to go to ITV, he stayed on to write for them. He was contractually allowed to stay with the BBC, and then he wrote for Little Lodge, and I don't know what happened,

but he must have been like, where's the bottom of my box of ideas where these were all turned down. Well, perhaps he just thought they couldn't do anything, you know. he thought this is the level that they work at so I better write stuff at that level yeah and I'm sorry they are they were a very limited double act

very very poor and I'm surprised they lasted what the best part of a decade but didn't they keep working after they lost their show or whatever they kept going didn't they well they were doing pantos and summer seasons and stuff and they probably did gigs for the troops and they turned up on everything didn't they but you know industry changed in the 19th and they put it down to woke or whatever. But it's like, no, it's just like no one wanted that anymore.

In fact, if anything killed comedy, there wasn't other comedy. It was like shows more like blind date or stars in their eyes that led to things like Britain's got talent. You know what I mean? It's like that's what I think killed comedy. It's the kind of reality era. Beforehand, Davro, Russ Abbott, etc. They would have a Saturday night prime time.

Keith Harrison, Allvill had a prime time. crime time. They did. Seven o'clock. Wow. On the weekend? But when was the last time you saw a comedy show on ITV or BBC? I don't even watch telly anymore. No, no. But when was the last time you even heard of a successful comedy show Saturday nights? They don't do it? Gone because of Britain's Got Talent and shit.

Yeah. It's not other comedy shows. It was like entertainment changed. It's the whole, yeah. It's the whole scene changing, yeah. And Little and Lodge was shit. And Davro was shit. A lot of those people would, I mean... I don't want to repeat everything. everything Stuart Millard says, but I do agree with him. Bobby Davro may have been a reasonably well-known

light entertainment cultural touchstone. But in terms of this material, what legacy did he leave? Fucking no legacy. No, because it's terrible. His legacy was that he was hack. Yeah. I'm just amazed at how any different brands of chicken shop there are, I have to say, Paul.

We've just seen Popeye's that's come from America. I saw a KFC, all sorts of independent, 18 Maulies. See, this is the great thing about Cheap Show. One minute we're talking about light entertainment the 80s the next minute, back to chicken shops. You know what I mean? Come on, we don't talk about chicken shops a lot.

No, but I'm just saying that's the swings around about us. It looks like we're going to get caught in the rain again, Paul. I don't mind that, I've got me nice jacket on, which is absolutely not waterproof, but. It will keep the chill outs, weren't it? It's better than not being watered. I've got my umbrella if it's too bad. These fucking sweets keep falling out of my pocket.

You're saving some of those. Well, I just don't want to wharf the whole bag in one go, which I could easily do. Now, we're right under the electric razor. Oh, mate, we haven't been keeping an eye out for that fucking bus stop, but I don't know if it's on this route. I don't even know if it's on this route, I'll be honest with it. No, I don't think it is, you know. I think once we get past Elephant and Castle, it's not, I think it's on the Great North Road. What's that one called?

Yeah, the Great Roman Road, the Great York Road. Yeah. The Great Road. What is that road? You know the one I mean? Yeah. We're not on it, we didn't come in on it, we were past it. But do we go on it after we get, after we, no, okay, so we've missed it?

Yeah, okay. We never were on that road, it's another thing. That's that road, do you if you remember, where there's that covered over canal I keep going on about? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we should do as another walk as well, go along the covered over the canal. Could do. I still want, generally, I still want us to go up to the Whirl and do the Whirl away.

I've literally been saying it for years. I get embarrassed sometimes when I listen to old podcast. that gets fucking brought up again and we still haven't done it then but it means like taking a whole couple of days to go up a day to go up stay the night do the walk the next day maybe come back the day after that we can get a travel lodge or whatever you know because i ain't staying with the fucking parents up there i just can't imagine you have to tell your parents no i would if they found out that i came up north and didn't say hello yeah i don't think you would understand how angry they'd be it's not even anger the the seven layers of emotional blackmail.

Look at this digital, sorry to interrupt you. What? That sign? Dragon Castle. It's cool. It's really digital. On one side of it was, the other side was normal. Elephant Park.

Here we are. They're very much transformed Elephant Castle. It has, I mean, I get it, because it wasn't a right fucking state, but it's lost all of its character. The shopping centre was all right, had a lot of vibe, you know. No, but here's the thing. I understand that it was not sustainable because it was, you know, pretty run fucking down. The issue is like, rather than replace it with something modern for those stores to go into.

You know, something modern for them. They just went, no, all out. We're going to put fucking woodblock of flats in a Starbucks here instead. It's a story repeated across London. And the UK. Yeah. It's basically, oh, this isn't worth renewing. this isn't worth renewing we're gonna just tear it down well it's not worth

renewing because we can make huge amounts of money by selling these flats to overseas rich people you just use them as an asset or whatever you know what I mean like again tax the rich eat the rich kill the rich tax them kill them and then we can eat them then we can eat them they're fatty there should be like a Logan's run society where rather than when you get to 30 you get killed it's more When you get to earn... When you get... Once you earn a certain amount, you can never earn any more than that.

Well, that's what an efficient and fair taxation system would do, Paul. Yes. You know what I mean? You'd let you have your first three million or whatever, and then you'd have a 99% tax. But now it's just like... Sorry to insult anyone who's got weird right-wing views and listens to us for some reason. For some reason. Because they're like the character work or whatever, but not the politics.

But fuck me, I'll listen to a show about knobs and willies as long as they don't mention the financial un-decoran that set the podcast up in the first place. Anyhow. Anyway, oh god, these roads are funky as fuck when they pick up speed. Well, I hope it's usable, Paul, because it's been a long ass. Where are we? Yeah, we've been on it 1 out of 15 minutes. So to get to 90 minutes, you still think we're going to beat 90 minutes or? That is a rattling-ass bit of road in Lambeth now.

It's like cobbles. It's fucking awful. A bit of beepy action in the middle of the night. It's past one in the morning. I'm more awake than I've been all day long. Yeah, me too. You knew how knack and I was when we started this. You're really grumpy on the tube going down, man.

I apologize for that. It's okay. But I like night busing brings us together and soothes all. It does. It's great. It's a great thing. It's a great thing. Can't do it too often because it is a schlep. Yeah. By definition, a huge schlep. I'm absolutely into, eat into my editing time for the weekly podcast.

Because usually I'm half edited the podcast by now on a Monday. Yes, but you're not as busy this week as you've been a previous week. No, I'm now definitely busy in that. Yeah, because I'm doing all this stuff right now. Okay, it's Monday. So the rest of the week. Blah, blah, blah. It's fine. It's fine. I mean, it literally.

it's my job in it this is why we're lucky this is why we thank you for supporting us on Patreon because you allow us to make this to do this I love it time we have to make it to make a unique in the world so we hope you

love this the award winning cheap show podcast it's really nice to say that you know what I thought we could say it when we won look we could yes the World Cup of comedy podcast but that was purely an online thing

right yeah this is like this was an actual award saying people in the industry who looked at what we did and went, yeah, they deserve the award for this. And that's why to me, no offense of the first one, but this is why we can now say, yes, we're an award-winning podcast. Okay, fair enough. And it makes me proud.

But after 10 fucking years, someone goes, all right there, mate, well done. That's all I wanted. Now I'm quitting the podcast. This is where we came up the other day, isn't it? Because we were commenting on the Savick Station. Yeah, we came in at a different angle. Well, a different route last time. Yeah.

Got a very dry elbow. Have you got chalky elbows? Just very awry dry here. Oh, it is. It's cracking. Yeah. You want to get some... But I've got some cream alone for it. Get some moisture on that.

Moisture on my elbow. And now for the science bit. Shh, girls, don't worry about this shit. We're going to say it anyway, but you just look pretty. There's big cycle lane there. Oh, I know where we are. We're coming to Blackfries, aren't we? There's a Southern, yeah.

It's very nondescript, this one bit, just south the river here down there. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, it's like downtown LA or whatever. It's like, yeah. You know, it's big, big corporate sort of buildings. There's a lot of big skies.

Oh, he's going for this? No, he's not. He's chickened it. Well, he'd be going straight through the red, wouldn't he? Yeah. He shouldn't put his foot down in the first place. Well, just don't. Because he is still... You saw how he was with that guy he wanted him to stop.

But he's not going to suddenly, like, ditch this into the Thames just because he overheard us talking about his speed. This could be the longest night bus we've done, mate. I don't know. In terms of time. Because again, that SL7 was real long. That was 90 minutes. That was 90 minutes as well, you're right.

So it will be equal. About the same. Yeah. This might be about a two-hour podcast again. Crazy business. And we are just about to cross into North London. We're going to cross the change. aren't we now and a bit of rains come down by the way in the Thames it is a bit damp

out there but I don't mind it I'm quite looking forward to the fresh wet atmosphere yes I do it when we get to the bridge get a shot of the Thames yeah yeah something like that take it to the place I love take me all away like I did that day. N343, man. I wonder where that goes. Take it to the place. I've just had a bit of inspiration,

the N343, mate. Take me all the way, eh. Hey. Hey. What bridge is this again? Black fries? No. What, no?

Southwick. No, is it Black Fry's because there's the station, isn't it? No, but that's Black Fry's, that's the station. That's the bridge. This is... Oh, is this the bridge? Oh, that's a lovely view out over the river. There's so much rain on this, but...

Never mind. Oh, I've got St Paul's Cathedral in your chest. That's good, yeah. We're right in the centre now. This is where we were a couple of weeks ago for our walkabout episode. This is exactly where we started our walkabout episode. So Nunhead Cemetery. There's the Blackfriars Pull.

Oh, is that what it's named after? No. I don't, I don't know. I mean, we could imagine so. It's old, isn't it? What are we doing now? We're going to go up past Farringdon, aren't we? Yeah, it goes past the round, charing cross and then to round the back.

All weirdly, weirdly. And here we are. Is this, what they call it, Loddenhall Circus. Ludgate House. Ludgate Circus. Old in the city. Hot in the sea. Oh, in the siddit tonight.

Tonight. Shutting the shuddy. Oh, are we going left? Oh, we are going down Fleet Street. Is this Fleet Street there, please? Your old neck of the woods, mate? Uh-ish. Better me.

I did do a temp job on here for a year for a bit. You did? Yeah. Is it miserable? Yep. Really? Yeah. entry thing.

Yep. Here's the Cheshire Cheese where we ended another episode of Team Show back in the day. Oh, is that here? Yeah. Very old, that was the... Sounds of London episode. Oh yeah, I remember now. One of my favourite walkabouts we've done.

That was cool as well. God, so bangy, rally. Never mind, I think you'll deal with it better. Yep. Chance to relay. Christ, fucking hell. Oh, what's going on in Temple 24? Are there people in there?

Someone's in there doing something. They might be closing up for the night. I think they're packing cookies. Oh, they're laying out cookies for the next day's service. Oh, maybe. Or some kind of pastries or something. We've got the old courts of justice. There, Royal Courts of Justice.

St. Clemens, St. Clemens, with the bells of the St. Clemens. That's not St Clements. That's not St. Clements. It is. We went through this on the Sounds of London episode. Oh yeah, because we came down here. Because we caught the bells doing it. Oh, of course.

Is that St. Clement's then? Yeah. As we found out. Ooh, this is where you got married, Paul. Close enough, yeah. The one old, the one old witch. Oldgate. Oldwich.

Oldwich, sorry. Yeah. Whoever that is, the fuck knows. This was a whole neighbourhood that they did they basically tore down all around here It was a slum. I read about it they built Kingsway they built the tram they built all of this grand stuff That's where you got married where there's mama mea down here isn't it one old rich hotel? Yeah, there. Yeah The reception was there. No, the wedding was there. Yeah, we had it on one of the floors off nice and then we went to the reception at the cock dog and near bank.

Again, a lifetime ago. Does that mean the money chicken, the cop d'argette? I don't. I think it means the money chicken. I don't know. It's definitely chicken something. Chicken shop? Yeah, money been.

Yeah, we've had a reception with chicken. Did you get half-fried chicken? Moorleys. It's the taste. Oh, is that all new? It's been pedestrianized right here, yeah. Good. There's a lot of things happening like that in central London.

It's another good, another positive. So here we are, we're heading now down. Where are we? The Strand. We're right. That's Lambeth. Anyway. This is the embankment, of course.

We've covered this before. We've been down here. We've tread these boards a few times. This used to be the strand means beach. It's an old word for beach. This used to be the beach, yeah, you're right. It used to be the bank of the Thames, but they've built this whole embankment in. Yeah.

Funny to think it. Right there. We're getting there. Get my clock out because we're going to be stopping very soon. But it's not going to be... If we get off at 25 past, then yeah, it would be 90 minutes. Yeah. And it is 21 minutes past now.

Oh, back to the future. I thought... I guess that... I thought... The musical. No, I didn't know that was here. That doesn't matter. Don't give the fuck. Let's see what the stop is.

We're about to get to our last stop, everybody. Yeah. What's the time on the clock that you see? 126 yeah about right 130 would be 90 minutes right yes so it's going to be a little bit under which is good this is it we go ding dong

when do I stop the clock when I step off the bus well when the bus stops okay here we go coming to a stop now and there we go one hour 26 and a half minutes right let's get the fuck out of here Hang on, let me make sure I've got my shit.

Have you got everything? Yeah. Yeah, still recorded. And we're off. And there we go. Here we are. N-89. Now this is...

Wait, I want to stop because I want to just do a quick stop. Hang on, one sec. Uh... There she goes. There she goes. Off she goes, bye-bye darling. Thank you for all your work. Right, so we got in quicker.

Yeah. Only by a couple of minutes. Yeah. Than the 90 minutes. It was very long. He did tear past a few bus stops. He was going for it, wasn't it? He wasn't a very good driver.

I think he was fine. He wanted to drive past that guy, and then what was that confusion? I think the bus driver was bullshitting. Oh, this is not the stop, and I think the guy was thinking, this was the stop. Yes, it is. You fucking can. Anyway, what do we do? I need to take a wee, so can we go up there because I know there's a pub of the Lou of it. Now, remember, Eli, if you're going to take a wee, you are miced up right now.

So? I can edit it out, but I will hear your urination. There's the N4-3 coming to a stop. So anyway, we're outside Charing Cross Station right now. Are you going to get an Uber back from here? Well, maybe not here. I might walk up to a... Well, can I come with you? Yeah.

Where are you going to walk up to Greyportland Street? Well, no, at least Tottenham Court Road. Okay. Because... I can still get my bus from there. Yeah, exactly. So we both can do that way. Cool.

So here's our, this is our whine down now, this is our post-mortem. Well, it was a great night bus, Paul. It was, wasn't it? Again, we've stopped in exactly the same place as several other ones. All roads tend to lead to Trafalgar Square on a night bus. They tend to. Ten to. The one, two, three, didn't.

What's this? Who's that? Is that meant to be Oscar Wild? It's in a coffin shape. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Yes, that's Oscar Wild, yeah. A conversation with Oscar Wilde 1854 to 1900. It says the same at this end as well.

Alright, well do you want to take a pee then? Here's a 24... Do you want me to stop this actually recording so you've done a pee? I don't mind. I mean I don't mind. I will cut it out. Look at this. It's one of... 24-hour urinal. Only. This is one of London's only street urinals.

It's just a grid. I think it's just one of those pissing a grid things. Right, I'm going to let him do that. Oh, the fucking stench of urine. There's a stench of urine in there. It's quite tart, quite sharp. There's a sharp smell of acrid urine. Yes, the ammonia, isn't it?

Yeah. So look, here we are. Martin in the Fields Church. A common tourist point of interest. Coming up through Covent Garden, aren't we, basically? Yeah, which one? Where should we go? But where do you need to get to?

Top and Cut Road? Yeah. Okay. We're seeing what route we can do. So I like these night bus and episode where we can end with a bit of a walk afterwards. You know? You're fucking...

What? What? Do you not agree? God, there's loads of homeless tents everywhere. Yeah, well... I mean, this is not a criticism with the homeless themselves. It's just... Fucking hell.

It was like three or four by the church as well. Yeah. And some guy borrowed a bike, you see that to use as a lamp for his tent. So he could see, I guess. It's quite entrepreneurial, isn't it? Yeah. The harp, lovely little pub. The, I guess it's, you've got more access to,

Charing Cross is traditionally a place where a lot of the rough sleepers congregate, isn't it? Yeah. You're more access to services and stuff. Not that I'm saying better than the old days, But it's like, you mean, don't get me wrong, in the Victorian era. There was a lot of rough sleepers there. Yes, a lot. But, um...

We're on Chandos place. Coming up through Covent Garden. It's lovely. Really quiet, calm. It is quiet. It's been quite a subdued, not subdued, I guess, but just a quiet, pleasurable journey tonight. There was no problems with rowdy people on the bus as well.

A lot of people got on. But they seemed really sort of chill, didn't they? Yeah, I think it was like people coming home from work or whatever. And a few of the people who might have been rowdy were going a few stops just to go home. Yeah. Are we going to go past our old haunt where a walkabout used to be and we did comedy down there. I remember that? I think we are.

And when your ex went psycho thing and you'd lie to her about your location when she just couldn't be off to open a door. That's fucking madness. Yeah, I think she was drunk at the time. Well, anyway. I mean, no excuse. Hmm. Big red cock of Nando's. The big red cock of Nandoos.

Hey, nonny, nony, and a hay hole, hey. Take a left here, I reckon. Mm-hmm. You know? Mm-hmm. Up through Covent Garden at night. Through Covent Garden at night. Not much going around here.

Fucking nothing, is there? What's that big light that's shining? Where's that coming from? Oh, it's that fucking Tony and Guy screen. Oh, there's a big... How fucking obnoxious? LED screen at the time you guy. I think that's fucking dog shit

that they leave that on all night. They shouldn't, yeah. Because who's looking at it? No one. And all you do is burning, fucking resources. Fossus fuels. And light pollution? Yeah.

I mean, I know sometimes we sound like fucking angry old men, but like considering the world's burning, you think some people want to turn off the light switches before bed. Yeah. It's irresponsible. Terrible. More money than sense and someone at corporate Wednesday. You must keep those screams on it all the time. You think? Or maybe just... No, no, no. They'll have been told to leave it running overnight. It's just the way these fucking control.

When the sun comes up, they're going to even be, you know. No, I know, but the idea is they must always be available, always be seen. Right? There's a churchyard, common garden. Nice little pink car here. Got love hearts on it. Probably owned by a woman who owns her salon. I mean, come on. It could be anything. Yeah, but it's...

Now, where are we going? We're heading down there to Leicester Square? Well, we could go up towards... You want to go to... Seven dials. Huh? Go up towards seven dials. Yeah.

Which is... Or we can go... Let's go up that way. Okay. Because again... The market at Covering Garden proper. It's very empty. It's surprisingly empty for London.

What are you going to do on a Monday night or one in the morning? Yes, I know that, but like, because I'm not here at this time, and I, in general. It's magic. It does feel like. I remember when COVID hit, and I was still going into work to do overnight, right? I just remember getting out broad daylight on a Saturday into Oxford Circus, and it being like this. Wow. I'm just going, this is fucking madness. And you get that 28 days later vibe, you know, it works like.

Yeah, yeah. I was like getting on a bus to go get weed, like when it first hit sort of thing. And there was literally no one else. Do you know what I don't understand? But the guy was driving the bus and then I got on the bus and he was like, Tart, Tart, you shouldn't be out. It's like, why are you driving the bus then, mate? Why you fucking have been told to drive the bus?

Fucking drive the bus. Don't fucking castigate me. Do you know what I mean? So much of that whole year and a half is just... A blur to you now. Yeah, a blur. Here we are right in the market, the cobbled old market of... Carver Garden.

Didn't there the Africa Club or whatever used to be here? Yes, we did comedy here. Have they torn that down? Where is that? It's just up there somewhere. I think we passed it. It's still going? The Africa Centre, was it?

Yes, it was. I can't remember what the comedy night was. I think it was originally a top secret and he moved. But yeah, I did a few gigs there. And then the walkabout is two streets over in that direction next to that Canada pub. We used to do improv, didn't we there? Miserable improv to an audience of no one.

Fucking, I don't miss that, man. No, I don't either. Here we up. I'm so quiet. I'm not used to cough and garden being this quiet and no annoying people. Oh, it is raining a little bit? Just a few spits.

It's still very well. warm. Why does Kim Cottrell look like that? How does she look like that? In what respect? She looks younger than she did when it like 20 years were. Well, because it's been touched up by a thousand Photoshop artists, you know, and the photographer's very good. And it knows the right lighting. She looks like she's been preserved or something. I mean, you know, she's still very good looking woman for her age, regardless of all of that. But even so, you look at that and you go, yeah, it's touched up to fuck. It must be. She looks about 12 years old. If they're doing a robbery, it's the worst fucking job I've seen.

They are not there. I know. Doing a shop fitting. Shock fitting. Sketchers. Is sketches uncool? Why'd you ask? Because I always quite like sketches.

I think they're a big brand. They did have a sort of Karen, you know, hockey mum. Did they? Yes, but I think they're kind of escaping that now. Because they're quite good quality. I just always thought sketching that. They basically copy Nike or what's popular in, you know, they kind of copy them. They're not...

Yeah, they're not leaders. No. But they, I think some of their shoes look nice. You see that retro one? I just don't know. I've got like a Rod Laver's kind of tennis, retro tennis, Nike sort of style one. Anyway. What's going on up there?

That's the Royal Opera House. No, I know that one's going with all those vans and shit and lights. It looks like they do some loading probably at the Royal House. Oh, do you think they're loading props and scenery? Yeah, it must be. Oh. ramp on the back of that truck let's nick it I like that bridge that's what I'm gonna just mention that's the yeah an extension bridge out of the Royal Opera

House I've only been to the Royal Opera House once I don't get opera I don't like it I'm sorry everyone don't have to apologize if you don't like opera I'm not a huge fan but I have gone a few times and enjoy my sight yeah so I deflade them I saw Cozy Fantuti uh Carmen Carmen Cozy May Fantuti Yes. I enjoyed all of them. The Fladed Mouse reminds me of Mrs. Snitch knows. I'm sorry. I mean, that reference is only going to work once people have heard the episode, I guess.

Well, we will have, because this isn't coming out until you get around to it. No, I mean, we're recording this on what? This has been magic, this walked through Covent Garden, hasn't it? Just barren, quiet. Lovely. Yeah, we were recording this on, you know, where we started recording on May 12th, Monday. It ain't coming out for the next. week or so so yeah this i'm gonna sit on this while i chip at my workload there used to be a

shop here called the east west center that sold like chinese goods and the bottom floor you were down two floors it was massive right and on the bottom floor was all cheap toys all laid out it was amazing it was magic you know like little those little fish the fortune tell of fish that kind of thing like uh cracker marbles it's like little toy cars all of that magic stuff look you're You can see the stairs there, Paul. It goes down. It was this shop here. So it goes right down there.

Now it's lost of charm. And now it's just a boring old beauty. Beauty Salon. Space NK. But I remember going to that fucking cinema store near Coven Garden. You know, the one that was. Because you could go downstairs. Is that gone now?

That went years ago. But that was run by those two guys. The top floor was like books and magazines and movie stuff. Yeah. The bottom floor was where they had all the, Region 1 DVDs and Blu-rays. You know, we can get like, oh, I can buy the whole box set of kids in the hall

which you can't get in this country. Yeah. All right, it's 70 quid, but I'll buy it. You didn't spend that. I did, because I have a huge kids in the hall, you spent 70 quid. Yes. This is another huge thing.

You know, there was that tea shop, that really fancy tea shop that was there for years, yeah. They gutted it. Fuck knows of that I'll end up being then. It was like really nice and it had a whole sort of cabinet display. is the front window and it was all like fancy teapots and you remember yeah you remember it

yeah i do remember it oh rain's coming down now oh we're gonna get wet now still got my shorts on which is a bit of an unpleasant thing if you take a wee oh because you can feel your splash the little minute dribble duffles you can feel the piss flex the piss flex come which you never really notice do you when you got trousers on it's just the piss going on your trousers Now you can visualize just how piss stain your shins are. What everyone's are. My shit, my pissy shins. Kiss my pissy shins.

The noble collection. Creators have finely crafted treasures. It's just all crap. IP shit. Yeah, IP shit. Like, what's all this? Harry Potter. No, I know it, yeah, but...

It's all Harry Potter. In it? I mean, that's what Britain... It's funny that they go. Batman chest set. We need the royals for tourism. It's like, don't need the royals. We've got fucking Harry Potter now.

For all the problems we have with Harry Potter, it's bringing in more people to this country on the fucking Prince. Well, they're building that big theme park, aren't they? Look at this Minecraft. Minecraft's the biggest game of all time, you know that, right? I thought Roblox was bigger. Oh, is it? I don't fucking know. Either way. Is that going to mean they're going to make a Roblox movie at some point? This is all wicked stuff.

Well, it's all tangential, in it? So I don't know if you've ever read... Are that a green monkey? I don't know if you ever read the original book, Wicked It's based on. I haven't read The Wizard of Oz either. It's hugely problematic. Oh, really? Yeah.

In fact, if anything, the musical and the film might have saved the reputation of that book because there's some deeply questionable models. It's by the same guy, Frank L. Baum? No, it's not. This was written by a guy in the 90s. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah.

There's the whole thing I can get into it. But it is a sequel to Bown's work? No, it's a prequel. Set in the same world? Yeah, it's a prequel. It's the origin story of the Wicked Witch of the East, basically. Yeah, but it's also a whole... I can't get into it because I genuinely can't be fucked.

But there was some part where you go, that's distasteful and horrible, and that's cruel. Well, they must have got rid of that stuff. They softened it for the musical, or removed it completely, but... There's seven dials. Oh, yeah. Which way should we go? Well, where do you want to get to?

No, let's go this way, because we're going to Tottenham Court Road, so this will go there. Are you going to get a cab, or what are you going to do? Probably get a cab on to get to Totten Court Road. Okay. Well, maybe I'll walk up to Warren Street. That's a way. It's not that.

I'll tell you it's about as far as we've walked right now to where. we get we get a 29 you can get a 29 you can get a 29 yeah you should get a 29 you're gonna walk to Warren Street oh look maybe because I might just find it planet we can get pin badges if it was I mean I like the fact that they have them I just think this selection is not hugely great at the moment and there's that place next to it isn't which is all manga stuff which I've seen have huge cues outside for people to get in what's it called something metal.

And metal. What's that all manga crap? Basically. It's competing with Forbidden Planet, isn't it? I mean, it isn't, it isn't. Because it's just tailoring for to that audience that I don't think Forbidden Planet have the shelf space for. Yeah, because manga's so big in itself, it can have a whole shop. Oh yeah.

And because it's so ingrained in pop culture now for a certain generation. Oh, travel cars. Cars, yeah, all the usual stuff, Attack on Titan, Dragon Ball. Some live-sized mannequins. What's it called, Eurato? Something I can never remember. Naruto, yeah. Naurito.

What's that one? Gungan. That's like, um. Gundam. Yeah, they're like super cool. It's the Gundam style. Ny-knit-knit-knit-knit-knit-knit-gundom style. Now we're going to get demonetised.

Bullets. It's like a transformer, like a cool-looking transformer. What was that one that, was it with the blue visor? You know, it was a cartoon. Battle of the planets is what it was called in America, yeah. It's in a Japanese animation. Oh, there's my friend Toto. And then, yeah, my friend Turo.

Jibli. The Jibli thing. Quite cool. Nice displays. Yeah. And here we are. at least it's stuff isn't it it's stuff in it lots of soft squishies for people to buy and take home and i've got a great big fluffy uh soda can i think it is maybe yeah what are those

things i don't know anthropomorphized items of the home it's always weird when they anthropomorphize something that you consume like you literally eat you know or drink let's that's where the google studios used to be we used to film barshans there yeah st giles we're at now before it moved to King's Cross and then it got shit. It's literally the move to King's Cross that fucked that whole YouTube space thing off. Really? I think so. The Angel, a well-known pub in these area parts. And here's St. Giles Churchyard, which has got a lot of homeless as well.

Yeah, which there will probably be a few of. I know it's all locked up. Have they allowed, I guess? I don't know. I don't know. Well, tell you what, let's get underneath Centrepoint and wrap this up. Okay. Center point seems to be an apt place to say goodbye, right? Sure.

But, okay, let's rank it. Out of ten, what are you calling this night bus in episode? I'd go at least eight and a half. I would go eight. Yeah. I would say it was a standard in the best way possible. It was a very long one. It was a good long one.

It's about as far out as you can get. In fact, it was as far out as you can get of London. So we've done that now. Though there were other London buses around there, but I'm guessing they're all reasonably local, so they're not. Yeah, they're not night buses. There was one night bus or there, wasn't it? Anyway, whatever, whatever.

This is certainly one of the longer routes. We've done. Yeah. Up there with the Heathrow one. They seem to go by quite quickly. The listeners of this episode might disagree. But for us, it went by quite quickly. Now we're at the foot of centre point.

It's quite impressive. It is from this angle, yeah. Might take a quick picture of this. I like, I like that. This is a pedestrianised bit. It used to be a lot funkier with the... restaurants and stuff down here but yeah cool look at that quite a nice picture that isn't it yeah god i'm great let's get under the uh under it under it because it's being into little

piddle down now because here's the thing i always think when is the night bus episode that's going to put me off doing it ever again like when is it we're going to be on the bus with the bad boys or there's going to be an altercation we're getting better at it we're getting better at i know but when's the episode that puts me off doing this ever again and so So far we've been really fortunate. Well, so... You've got to have your wits about you, but you know, usually if you do it on a Monday or Tuesday night, there's no one out really. No, that's why we do on a Monday Tuesday, isn't it?

Oh look, there's a big bean bag thing here? It's a fake, it's a dog, beam, it's a dog's head. Oh, it's a dog. Do you want to sit on the dog? I'll let you... Because it looks like a big poo as well. There you go. Perfect. I'm gonna...

There used to be that nightclub here. Do you remember? Which one? It was called 101 or something, bar 101. It was down in this space here. It was cool. Hang on, I'm just going to send one last tweet to say we've done the journey now.

Right. I'm just going to do one last picture saying, all done, quote, all done, and then put a picture of him there, and there are two nice pictures post right so that's it that was this quarter's night button the night 89 thanks for joining us on this journey everybody a nice surprise route that you know doesn't scream obvious it was something

you had to find some great views it was insane that was that was that was the highlight me we've light for me was coming over the top of Shooters Hill or whatever it was the high point yeah I haven't seen a very wide light illuminated central London out before us like a great view a great view up there with like LA and stuff yeah slightly dystopian in a kind of blade runnery way that's the world we live in in it world war fucking free going on hooray anyway with all that in mind thank you for supporting us on patreon we hope we've enjoyed this night button we're going to do another one in another couple of months time where it'll be we don't know but it might be as magical as this or it might

be a dog load of shit but we won't know till we do it will we no and that's why we do it don't we that is why we do it we are the only podcast willing to put their lives on the line it is that's what i mean it's just a silly thing to do it's just talk shit on a bus it's silly thing to do it really is but we're glad you enjoy it i'm knackered now i'm feeling i'm coming down off those boosts i'm crashing hard i'm a beginning to crash all right well that's it let's just say goodbye thank you see you next time thank for supporting us and uh that's it that's it bye then to press the back i'm gonna i'm gonna press the button now