CheapShow - Ep 470: Mano A Mano

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

It’s time to get our “Price of Shite” on in our first game of 2026! To make things a little more interesting, Paul and Eli decide to have a “face-off” edition of the classic tat pricing game. Paul has bought 3 items and so has Eli, and they will need to use all their wit, intelligence and cunning to guess the cost of each other’s charity shop discoveries. One of them will find a few truly tasty bits of tat that will amaze and amuse… the other kinda tossed it off and just went to the charity shops near where he lives. No guesses which one is which. However, who will win? That’s all that matters really, those much coveted p’twings! There is a lot at stake (well, not really!) and once again, this relatively simple game will be made into a convoluted, angry pointless conflict! It’s CheapShow time! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-470-mano-a-mano www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Who's that sitting in our studio? I don't know. Why is there someone in our studio? Paul, I don't know. I just got here. Mr. Silverman? Mr. Gannon? Yes?

Yes. Hello? Could you come in here, please? Well, we're already in here. I mean... Yeah, no, it's our house. Who let you in? Didn't think of that bit.

Now, just who are you? Who are you? I am a lawyer, sir, and I am here. You're a lawyer? I'm a lawyer. And I'm here on behalf of Mr Richard Brandoff's. What is this all about? We're trying to record, Paul, aren't we trying to record it?

Yeah, we've got to record our podcast. So can you please piss off? Whenever he wants to do, we're not interested. I don't know. It doesn't look like a lawyer, Paul. I am a lawyer, sir. I'm one of the most respected lawyers in all of London town. Where did you study?

I studied in law school, sir. Which school? The most paper thin carriage you've ever done. And that is saying something. Anyway. I went to a private school, sir. I know. I know.

What is it? Just come out with it. My name. Do you want to know my name? Yes. Go on there. My name is Harry. Harry Jizzy Fingers.

My name is Harry Jizzy Fingers. My name is Harry Jizzy Fingers. Hello, Mr. Harry Jizzy Fis. And I am here on behalf of Mr. Richard Brandoff for you to sign a document. I'm not. I'm not signing anything unless I see it and you explain it to me. Well, basically, you've heard of Mr. Brandoff. We've heard of Mr.

We've heard of him, all right? Yes. You've heard of his content house, have you, sir? Yes, we have heard of him. Have you? Paul, what a boss? He's got to a con's house. Hence, sir.

He's got a content house. He's going to be live streaming for financial gain, and I'm here to get you to sign your likenesses away and consent to appearing in at all times. Okay, one second. Paul, I think this man's having a stroke. Can we? Yeah, put it away.

Can we... Put it back in your pads. No, not. that kind of stroke. He's having that though as well. Maybe one will cause the other to happen. Listen, Mr. Jizzy Fingers.

That's right, sir. Don't wear my name out. Can I look at this contract, please? Here you go. Here's the contract. Thank you. All right. What's this here?

It's, Paul, what does it say? We have to waive the right to charge a fee if we appear in Content House. What is Content House? We're not having anything to do

with the fucking Content House. That says maybe, sir, But just in case you're any of those characters come here, or if you end up in the vicinity of the content house for any ex tertiary reasons, then, of course, you'll need to sign this waiver. Tell Mr. Brandoff to wipe his ass with that. Yeah, go tell him to fuck off. We're not interested.

Oh, he won't be very happy with this. Could you get out? We have to do some work jizzy fingers. Oh, well, I'll go. You're not a real lawyer. I mean, I'll... You don't sound like a lawyer very much. I know all about law, sir.

Okay. Test me. All right. What is it known? What's the Latin term in law where you have to produce the body? Cropopoplius Mentos, sir. Yes, that's right.

Get out. You, I'm a real lawyer. Come on, Paul. Help me kick him out. All right. Get out. Get out. And take this fucking thing with you.

Take that with you. Fucking bastards. Content house. I don't even know what that is, Paul. I don't know what that is. You just said you knew what it was. Well, no, I know that he was doing it, but I don't know exactly what it involves.

He just said all the characters in the house. Next is a content house. And I'm now we're signing shit. He's making some kind of content there. As far as I'm concerned, it's not to do with us. We're not getting involved. We're going nowhere near it. We just need to concentrate on this fucking podcast.

On our own content? Yeah, so let's get going, shall we? Ladies and gentlemen, that was four minutes. Why do you have to say? People like time. You've got a weird relationship with it, you know that? I get me fingers in, and I promise time that I love her, but really I'm looking at a distance.

Time is usually portrayed as a male figure. Is it? Yes. Old Father Time, isn't it? Lady Time? That's one as well. There's no lady time. Yeah, there is.

I've got, it's lady time. I wish it was lady time. Anyway, I have me eye on time, but I'm really into distance. Oh, distance. Dirty distance. Right, that's cheap show. I like space. Cheap show.

That was terrible, the lawyer. Great. I loved it. I just wanted to call him Harry Jizzy Fingers. Why? You didn't want to. Because it made me laugh last night when I was thinking of it. You thought that last night?

Yep. Fuck off. Why did it take you so long? You were like, Harry? Because I was bet he was meant to be ashamed of his name. Oh, I see. It sounded like you couldn't think of one something to say there. No, I was acting.

We'll see. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, everyone. This is a Cheap Show, a podcast, form, podcast show, Cheap Show. Have you, everyone? I've started without thinking. I've just forgotten it. I've just started without thinking. You always do that.

No, I'm going to have a thing right now. And now I'm ready to go. Ladies of gentlemen, welcome to Cheap Show. It's a podcast, a funny podcast. I'm in it. My name was Paul Gannon. I'm Eli Silverman also in the podcast. Where we bring you the treasure that we find amongst the trash.

Oh, that trash. Cheap stuff. That's our modus operandi round here at Cheap Show, everybody. We talk about cheap stuff. We drink cheap shit. We eat cheap stuff. We go to cheap places. We scratch our bullsack.

You knew that was happening. You know. I'm just going to let you go with this one until eventually it peters out. So go on. Truffle hound. There we go. And then hysterical laughter, which he can't control,

which then goes on for fucking ever, even though it's not that funny. There he goes off. Oh, fuck you. Just gotta wait it out. Oh, I'm done. It's like your sundowning. It's just like a sad old man going,

I remember the 80s. Well, that could sum up our show as well, couldn't it? Anyway, you know last week when we were welcoming new listeners? Yes. The amount of fucking porn I've been sent since. Really? I'm a new listener. Here's my gash.

I'm a new listener. Here's my gorge knob. I'm a new listener. Look at these tits. Oh, look at my gaping bum all. They've set me images. And I've sadly had to download each and every one of those photographs and put them in my hard drive. Well, I didn't get none of that.

Do you want me to send you them? Yeah. Anyway, what we got coming up on the show today? Well, last week we gave you a little bit of a smorgas board of what we do on Cheap Show, don't we? And I gave you a bit of a splodger's board of what we do on Cheap Show, don't we? And I gave you a bit of a splodger's. There we go. He's off. You said it again. Every time you say smorgas board, Splodgers board comes out. Why? Because it's my thing and I invented the Splodges board. What you got there on the splodges board?

Well, you got a droplet of spunk. You've got a string of spunk and then you got little... It's too early for spunk material. It's never too early for spunk. 5 a.m. Too early or too late for spunk? Question. John Craver's news round. That used to come on then, didn't it? What's I got to do with Spunk? It was 4.45. What's I going to do with Spunk? I'm just fulfilling the old wanker talking about the 80s bit of the podcast. Oh, yeah. George, remember Wackaday. Blah. Blah. Spunk.

Have you ever seen Timmy's Mallet? No. And he's a religious man. Is he? Well, I know he has got his faith. He did a faith-based program, didn't it? Yeah. And you know what I've always said about Timmy Mallet. He's all right. Yeah. I've got no grievances against him. I agree.

He seems a lovely man. Well, you know, one thing you could kind of blame him for, his pop career. No, you know you want to blame for that? Andrew Lloyd Weber. I know. But Timmy wanted to work with him. That's kind of like taking blood money from the devil, isn't it? I get the impression.

It wasn't so much he wanted to work with him in that he was given the opportunity to do this. And he thought, why the fuck not? Because think about it. Andrew Lloyd Weber, for whatever you want to say about him, he's still like massively successful at what he did, right? It boggled the mind that he was, though, because for me, a lot of those musicals he wrote

have got like one tune or half a good tune. at most. Memories. That's the only good one in that. And that was written before the opera. No, that's from Katz. And it was written before Katz even put together properly. So it was just something he had knocking about.

He thought, I'm going to give it to that cat. And it's the other big song that's decent in the whole musical. Memories all alone in my memories. I just despise his weird lizard face. Maybe he shouldn't look like a teenage mutant ninja turtle villain. Yeah. That's my issue with him. Anyway, this is not the Android Lloyd Webber or Timmy Mallet podcast.

It is the jeep show podcast. And my point was, Last week we gave you a little taste of all the things we do on the podcast. A little taste. A bit of Snatch. A bit of Snatch, did you say? Snacks. I thought he said snatch.

Well, I mean, it's not off the table. Snatch is never off the table. I fetched in your snatch. Oh, oh, lovely. I fetched right in your snatch. Yeah, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I've got a wet patch because I'm hiding your snacks. It's almighty.

Oh, dear. I've fetched in your snitch. Yeah, I've got a wet patch. I'll keep the door on the latch. You think you can do some with that? Keep the door. Go on. Here's a clean one for you, Noisland.

He won't do anything with it. Keep the door on the latch because I've got a wet patch thinking about fetching in your snatch. He's a snatch. A fiddly patch. He's got the snatch. Heddley patch.

Gizzy fingers. Gizzy fingers. You brought up spunk with jizzy fingers. That's just his name. It's French. For what? Gje fingers. It's an old French word.

It means a lawyer. Oh, for fuck, Sam. I, jizz your finger lawyer. Something like that. Anyway, what is coming up on the show? You keep diverting yourself. You keep distracting me with your snatch material. I like it. I like it.

And then I get carried away. No, what we're doing this week is we have a thing called the price of shite, where we go to a charity shop, we buy some things, and then we have to guess the prices. However, what we thought we do this week is a little bit of a face-off. You've bought some items. I've bought some items. I have. We're going to guess the priders of each other's items to see which one.

is the best at guessing numbers. Go on. We're going to go. Mano O Mano. Oh, yeah. This is Mano O Mano Pryso de Shaito. Mano, oh, mano. Priceo de Shaito.

Nice. Yeah. That's not going to be a crisis. Mano, oh, mano. I'm grabbing my luggage. Come on. You think you're going to win then? Yeah.

That's a display of confidence from you. Yeah. I'm peacocking. You're peacocking. I put my arms up. It's good. Peacocking. Yeah.

There will be no crisis. I'll present as well. Oh, don't present. Strut around you. They get my ass out and put it right up against your face. That's not peacocking. That's the opposite. What is?

Presenting. No, what's the opposite mean? Boom, boom. Boom, boom, indeed. What's the opposite of opposite? I like. That's good, isn't it? No, it is, yeah.

Yeah. It's the same. Same is. Or can you have an opposite of the opposite? Identical. Yeah, I like. Opposite identical. Opposite identical.

I don't think it has a true. Antonym. Because you get, because what's the opposite of opposite? It would be its own opposite. No, it's, like we said, it's... No. But don't say no.

No. I just did. And I will. What is the, what word has no opposite? There is no word with no opposite. Is there no word with no opposite? I don't...

I broke him. Nouns have... Nouns won't. Nouns don't have opposites. No. Like bottle. What's the opposite of a bottle? Eh.

That's good. Apparently, if you put that into AI, like you say, what's the opposite of the nothingness or the no set. Yeah. Then the monsters come out of the AI machine. Oh, they come and get you.

Yeah. Get off. Anyone want to be your man, be your man. Get off. What's that Prince song? Get off. It's called Get Off. Making love and own like enough.

Making tray. Ooh. What is it? Get off. 23 positions in a one night stand. Oh, mate. I'd be happy with one. These days, I'd have one.

One position. One position. In a secure relationship. Yeah. One position every three months in a secure relationship. If that position is me lying down, she gets on with her. Or him,

whoever comes up, I don't mind. Furnish me with your mouth garbage all over my luggage. Now, Paul. Oh, God. Should we just start the episode? I thought we had.

No, we have, but should we actually do the content bit now? We started to explain the price of shite to everyone. Let's continue to explain the price of shite. Well, we've explained the whole rule that we guess each other's prices of the items that we buy in charity shops. What's the scoring?

The scoring for the price of shite game on Cheap Show, copyrighted, is, say I guess the price of shite, of one of your items, Paul. Yes. And I get the price exactly right. He said two pound. It was two pound.

Then you would get two points. And in this game, points are betwiens. Betweens are the things that we strive for. If he had got that right, I would say, betwing, petwing. And you'd know that means two points. And they're secure. You can't, they're not taken away from you. And they're indivisible.

They're indivisible. They're like the atoms of the cheap show universe. Like Lego bricks, clicking together to create one big satisfying hole. And then Eli, let's just say the item was £2, but I'd guessed, let's just say, for example, £1.75 or £2.25.

I was £25p out either way. What would happen? If you were anywhere in that 50p range surrounding the nubbing point of the actual price, Paul. I thought it's 25p, 50p is if... No, but if you think about it, the actual band is 50p wide, isn't it? Across the board, yeah.

But I'm saying 25p either way. It's the actual... That's, man. 25p of the actual price either way, high or lower. 25p higher, 25p lower. Yeah, 50p in aggregate. Either of those things. It all amounts to the same thing, Paul.

One between. One between what you get them. And that's basically the scoring system that we go by. Now, we do have other little additions and amendments to the prices, but I'm not going to, I'm not using any of those today. You haven't got a quid gambit. I haven't got a quid gambit. I don't. I've got a special...

You've got a fourth item, which we might need to get to if there's a draw. That's right. So I've got a standby item. Yeah. I have a standby item. I'll stand by item I'll stand by item Won't let nobody

Guess you Oh God I'm singing a lot I've got a stand by item Who did that? I stand by you I hated that Even in the darkest hour I think I'm very musical today

I've just noticed as well I hated that song Who was that? Okay Google Who sung I'll stand by you No it's not gonna know It wasn't It wasn't

You're wrong Who was it like, Celine no... I'll stand by you. Who was it? Isn't that weird? It's like Celine Dion. It's Celine Dion. It's like Berlin to Carlisle or something like that.

It's Celine Dion. It's not. It's not called I'll stand by you that song either. I'll stand by you. It says that in the chorus. I won't nobody mention. I'll stand by you. It's a mystery.

It's a mystery. It's a mystery. That's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery. That's toy. Apparently, during the pandemic.

She got her boobs out on YouTube. We all did, mate. She ain't unique. Right, should we just crack on with the price of shite? We've got it all sorted and that's right. And that's right. The Pretenders. It was Chrissy Hines, The Pretenders with Our Stand By You.

Actually, and the song is called Al Stand By You. Good pop from The Pretenders. Great pop, mate. Great Pop. Brast in Pocket was another one of theirs. And do you have any more Pretender songs that you like? I mean, they are. What about that one they did with UB40?

I did not like that. No. That was a big hit, though. They did I got you, babe, as well, didn't they as a cover together. I got you to make my breath. It's a terrible song, that. I don't like it. Yeah.

Well, anyway, this is not the UB40 Chrissy Hines podcast. This is The Price of Shite. Now, I went to, for my three items, I went to Kentish Town. There's a few charity shops on that stretch. I love it. I'm very familiar with it. My dad works in one of those charities shops.

I saw you, dad. He did? Yeah, are you sure? I just watched him for about an hour. No, you didn't. Because he's always in the back. Yeah, he was always in the back. Looking at books and then bringing him out

and then putting all the books back around the back again. Shut up. And then I hear Shut up, no. Right, I wish I hadn't brought it up now. He puts the... Did you go in his shop? Yeah, I did, I did.

The Oxfam Bookshop. I did go into the Oxfam Bookshop where you could see your dad. See, that's the story. Anyway, I bought three items, and I can tell you that the ceiling for these items, 10 pounds.

Altogether, I spent no more than 10 pounds. No more than. No more than. But it could be slightly less. It could be slightly less. So it's not a hard ceiling. No. It's not a sort of exact ceiling.

No, no. And when the scores were, revealed you'll see why, but £10 £10 is the limit to what I spent. I would go on a lower ceiling. All right, okay, good. No more than $7.50. And I bought mine around

Green Lanes in Haringay. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a nice little area. I've noticed, I don't know about you, Paul, but as an aficionado, and indeed you are as well, of visiting charity shops. Charity shops, mate. Charity shops made. There is a glut of items after the Christmas break in London

in charity shops, and it's really a delight. It is. Because it's all sorts of stuff. And it's kind of raised my faith in charity shops again in the interest that they provide. Because there's all sorts of things. Saw that Ravensburger. Catmouse game thing.

Catmouse game. It's like a spinning. Oh, check it up. It's really good. It looks really good. Like an action thing that we could do on a video maybe. Yeah, yeah. I saw a card game called Dual.

Okay. Which is like a card game. I don't know. I mean, seriously, the minute the word card is used, I'm like, I'm checking out. I can't do card games. Well, you can still have to do my segment where I do a card game. Yeah, but that's fine.

But you have to still come up with that segment. I'm not going to give it to you to do, am I? That's on your own volition, mate. Go on. Get on with it. All right, I will. So you go into the Green Lanes and you bought three items. Oh, there's North London Hospice, which we all love.

And we know is a funked up little place. I think mine was mind, age concern, British Heart Foundation. I've actually got to the point now where I know which charity shops have got the higher prices and which give you good deals and all of these ones, basically. Mind is still a random factor thing. Mind is still a random factor. Mind. Yeah, I tend to find.

Sometimes you go in and everything's, you know. Mind in Camden? Yeah. Did you go to Mind in Camden? No, I'm just saying mind in general, sorry. It's like you tend to go to one store and there could be prices really low and you go, wow. Then you go to like one maybe closer into the centre of town. It's like, oh, why is this a 10 and now?

And sometimes it's just outrageous. They don't know what they're doing. But I need to say, mind in Camden, that's an independent one. That's not associated with other minds. Because there's another mind around the corner, right? Which is the corporate. I'm in two minds about which one I need to go to. No, but you want to go to the funky one, which is the one by the one.

The bus stop. Go on that smells of cat piss. Yes. Yeah, that's our favourite. That's an independent. I'm thinking about volunteering. They're looking for people. Do it?

They seem like my kind of people. Mentally deranged and drugs. Alcoholics. Recovering alcoholics. Scumbags, waste rolls. Shut out. Fucking leeches upon society.

Oh, I had a thought the other day, you know, Paul. I like, there's a guy in there as to wears tie dye and he's blonde and long hair and he plays like proper psych rock. No, I know. I know that guy. Yeah. You know that guy? He sometimes got one of those weird beret type hat things on.

No, you're thinking of that other guy. He's a pretentious. Anyway, I love that shop because it has the funk factor and it is independent. That's why. But sometimes the prices are weird in there. You're right. It's not the best. But I love visiting there.

I'm just saying it's a rich season for the charity shop visitor. Fakhund. It's a Fakhund season. So we have written our scores down of our prices on little bits of paper. We've given each other's ceiling warnings. And we've done that. And we've also put the scores out of the way under our mascot, stitched together by Nicky. Nicky.

And it is the representation. in quilted sewn form of mulchie fibbage. He got it right. He called him Tumpy before the show everyone. I always call him Tumpy. No, you always call him Grumpy. Or Jimmy. Or grumpy. Either way, he's mulchy.

I say, hello, Maltzy. Hello, Munchy. I'm here. Grimble, grubbly grubbly. Are you going to look after our scores today, Mouche? Oh, he's getting a bit. Have you lost it? He's been a wilder.

He sounds different. He'd be a white. Grubble, basically David Bellamy, Yeah, but you need to be more sort of our pagan. Glittle Grabble, Gribble, I will be looking after the prices for you. Thank you, Maltjeet. There we go. You sit on them. So he's sitting on them.

He's guarding them. We can't change them. We can't cheat. They're locked in. They're locked in. And I've actually used the real stickers from my items. I've also done that. Hey, high five. Nice one.

Good. So without any further ado, let's crack on and present our findings. Right, Eli, you're going first. I've got item number one for you. Here. Mint on card. Well, it's not on card. It's top.

There's a card up there at the top. Top shop socks. Top shop socks. Gold. I don't even know what kind of fabric that is. It's very unsettling. Gold fabric kind of. Is it going to be comfy to wear it?

Glittery. That's what I thought, but I will be wearing them. Do you remember a few months ago? Hang on. Hang on. Yeah. Top shop shops. Keep talking.

You got those Ghostbusters pants. Yes. And you put them on and I'm going to put these on. Fair enough. Gold. Because I want to get in on this dressing up. Man. Roll glitter.

You can take pictures of your feet, put up up online. Don't look at my toes. And then people can like spoff on them. Handing the socks. I'll take a picture of this.

Oh, oh, they're a bit, oh, they're very snug. Oh, they're very... And you got them from a charity shop even though they're top shop on the rack, you know, they're just like, yeah,

someone got them and didn't want them or... Yeah, they're quite fetching. Now, take your shirt off. Just undo your trousers a little. Go on. Ha, ha, ha. Hang up. One more then.

Are you getting me in there, don't you? No. Take your top off off. What do you shut up? Just take your top off Just show a tit I'm gonna keep those on One tit

Are they comfy? Yeah lovely Now they feel kind of rough Don't they To the hand On the outside On the foot you don't feel that at all really It must be nylon or something then

It's a very catchy Looking sock I'll say that for I like a little bit of colour Flamboyance on my socks I think they'll wear off quite quickly though With all the walking And shoveling

And rubbing No no They're actually quality Because it's actually The thread itself Rather than like Something that's been applied to it Gold socks.

Anyway, how much are you writing the prices down, by the way? You're in charge of prices. You're writing every scores down. Okay, so we get slightly different columns here because we don't usually everybody play against each other in this way, or haven't for a while. Well, how about I write down yours and you write down mine? Okay.

And that way we can keep it separate. Good idea. I'll write it on the back of it. There we go. Gold socks. Yeah. And Paul's guess. What's your guess there?

So at 750 altogether, I'm going to say these were two fitty. Two fitty for the socks. Two fiddy on the nose. Too fitty on the nose for the sacks. Too fitty on the nose for the sacks. Two fitty on the nose for the socks. My turn. Yeah.

For your first item. Let's see it. I already think just on quality of items alone, I'm going to wipe the floor with Eli this week. Those are nice socks, man. We're fine, but, boy, howdy. I started with my most boring thing. It's going to, this is better, is it? It's going to be some kind of gadget.

Oh, it is better. You're right. Yeah, it is. It's a squeasy fire engine toy. It's a lamp. It's got a little lamp in. Oh, God. I love this.

Can I have this? I can plug it in, but basically it's a very dim, soft, yellowy light. You click on that. Basically, there's a rubber fire engine, very stylized in form, blocky, like a child's toy. Like a child's first fire engine toy. Like a wooden toy. Yeah. But it is rubber.

Latex, I think, is the thing. Pleasing. Yeah. It's a pleasing shape. And inside, it has a plastic light bulb. Does this work? Yeah. But there go.

I didn't know it charged, actually. I thought you had to have it plugged in, but there you go. Well, you're meant to kind of slip it into the bottom properly. So it kind of clops in. It sort of, yeah, illuminates the whole thing. I love this. I love Charles Nightlights.

I know. I collect them. I'm making my room into a whole, yeah, a weird outsider art sort of den, yeah. Crime scene waiting to be discovered. Well, I think we should do some videos in there in the House of Pickles because it's what everyone wants. Well, make, it's up to you.

Look, this is a great item, Paul. You're right. It is. It's a lovely. It's a more exciting item. But how much? 10 pounds of ceiling. 10 pounds of ceiling.

How close? How close is it, though, to 10? Well, right up there. It depends on how much you want me to give away, because basically not everything is bang on the rounded up price. And this was from a charity shop in... This one, I can't remember, but I think this is age concern. There's some classics up there in Kentish Town.

The British Heart Foundation's good. No, that's a nice little one of the shops up there. It's really good. One of the restaurants as well. One of them wasn't open yesterday, but other than that, yeah. Okay, I think... And I've actually forgotten the prices of all of these apart from one, so I don't know. Okay, well, we've got the mulchies there.

Yeah. I want to say three pounds. It just feels three poundish to me. All right. Three is a solid guess as any. It's a guess. Right. In that case,

we must now move on to round two of this mano or mano priceo de shaito. What do you want to do? Me go first now or you go first now? You go first now. I'll go first now. Yeah, come on. So this item, I have no idea.

Keep the excitement level up here. I have no idea, by the way, if this item works. Okay. He loves his gizmos. That works. This is a gizmo. That's a gizmo.

I'm into this. I don't know. I don't think either one of us really wants this next item, but I do want to see if it works. He's handed me a cardboard box, portable mini printer. I reckon this will work, because this is one of those thermal ones. At Christmas, my...

Yeah, it's like a kind of cash register receipt process. My stepnees had this little polaroid camera... Inix, yeah, or in Nix or whatever called. That uses one of that system, the thermal black and white thermal printing, and it just comes out of the front immediately. Well, remember the game boy camera back in the day? Was that one of those as well?

It had a printer, and it was the same process, A roll of receipt tape that you put it. It's receipt tape, essentially. It's the same technology. But I honestly have no idea if this works. This looks brand new in box, like never used. It does. Sort of thermally reactive paper, isn't it, basically?

Is that stickers? This is stickers. I hand those to you. I'm going in. It does totally mint on cards. Cats and dogs. Oh, look, man. It's got all the little rolls of...

No, I know. It's got loads of rolls of the paper in. Hell, should we get to have a go? I mean... It might not be charged. It might not be charged. They usually charge these things. What we can do is in the break,

we can have a little test of it and then report back. tiny black. It looks like almost like a Bluetooth speaker. That kind of size, a little box shape. It's not going to be that hard

I wouldn't have thought to use. You have to charge it and then you've got to scan an app. Oh, we've got to get an app. Oh, fucking. And then you load the tape. I hate that. I hate that.

I hate that. Why not make something that works? Well, no, I think you need the app so your phone can speak to the printer. Yeah, but, okay, fine. Well, look, how about when we take a little break?

We'll try it. We can try it and then report back. It's a nice thing. Hopefully it works. I'll charge it for a bit. What can it print though. Anything you want, any pictures off your phone? Anything at all? Or maybe whatever you don't

on the app you download. Like imagine it's like the Game Boy camera in that you take a picture that you can put some fucking dog sitting next year or a lol. Or angel wings. Angel, or cat ears. Well that's what my stepnees had. Yeah. She had little filters on her little polaroid thing. What are they called again? The Polaroids?

No, but the camera thing. Oh, I can't remember. But it's like in it or something. Yeah, but I can't remember the name exactly. But it's those ones where they look like chunky, like that really, but with a camera lens on the front. So anyway, it's a mini-pric winter. I like it. And we'll see we'll get it working in a minute. But that is brand new. Yeah, it looks brand new in a box. This is what I mean. This type of item comes up more this time of year because people literally

are like, oh my God. I got this on Timu as a present. I think he sucks as well. You know, a part of that because it's just people get given things and just like, I don't want those at all. It's from an aunt I never see or whatever and they just don't know what to buy me. Or an elderly relative that just keeps giving you the same thing because once you said you like frogs or hats or Jack Daniels or anything like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so the charity shop is stuff full of that stuff. But I would also say, because of places like Timo or Wish or Ali Express,

these kind of things get bought, given at Christmas, and then was like, er, then straight onto the... Straight into the charity shop. You tend to find weird as shit now in charity shops. That's what I mean. It's a feck-on period. Pointless gadgets. We should name the post-meranem fecund period of cheap show... The glut.

The glut. It's the glut. Yes. Very good. Good word. Bring on the glut. Next year we'll see with a glut. because it is noticeable in these shops.

I mean, I always go in them. But anyway, we've looked at it. We'll test it in a minute. But what do you think is the price of the printer? Fiverr. I do think it's a fiver. I'm going to go four. I've got one last item and the five, six, seven, eight you've spent?

I've spent eight. So far. When I said five, then, you mean? Yeah, five and three, eight. I don't know. I'm not going to... I've got one more item. Are we going to be able to review these?

Yeah, of course. I'll say four, can I say £4.75 for now, please for this. Four, seven, five. For now. For now, jotted down, get your top off, show us your crown. Why do you keep? Stop saying that. I want to see your tits. Start thinking about what you say, just a little bit.

All right. Let me have a little thing. Yeah, I want to see your tits. All right. Yay. Here you go. Oh, the glut is back. Oh, I want a nut for the glut. Come on.

Your prime item. Oh, I got turned on. Got turned on. A few busy being busy. Got distracted. Oh, dear. Item two for Eli, please. Oh, item two, right.

After you've had your stroke. Listen, Paul. Yeah. The first item was socks. Golden socks. You've heard of a silver fox like me. That's where I am. Yeah.

But this is a prone golden fox. Oh, it is. It's a prone... Metal prone golden fox. That's got to be brass, right? It's quite got some nice weight to it, doesn't it? It's got a lot of weight to it. What the fuck is it for?

I think it's like a paperweight, I would say. See, here's the thing. My nan, for example, had lots of brass, pointless things. Nicknacks. On a, like, mantelpiece and shell. And sometimes you'd get like a collection of brass ducks that you just put on a shelf at a row. I'm wondering if like this is like something like that way

you just put it on a shelf with another thing and another thing and it kind of builds up an actual image. Perhaps part of a set, yes. But it is an ornamental fox and he's lying on his belly with his legs sort of pushed backwards. It's a changed position. If he's on like a glass table, that's what you'd see underneath. Yeah.

And then you'd see Robert De Niro jacking it. But it's like something that foxes do. That might be something that foxes do. That I'm not aware of, but it's not, you see some dogs do that as well. It seems to be more of a dog position than a fox position But it's definitely a fox, isn't it? You can tell by the face. Yeah.

What? What do you mean? You just saw more dogs being prone and positions. If you don't know, Paul, that's a long-running joke that everyone likes about him fucking dogs. Used to be puppets. Maybe we should go back to puppets. No, that's weird.

Fucking a puppet. I'd rather be known for fucking a puppet than fucking a dog. You don't actually fuck dogs, Paul. Yeah, not. You're right. I don't actually do that. Okay, we need a price for the supine Golden Fox.

Wouldn't it be nice? Golden Sox, then Golden Fox. Wouldn't it be nice? Are you them nice? Are you them? Yeah. There's no theme link between your two items, isn't there?

Just cool gadgets. Yeah. So imagine this on a glass table. And then it takes a shit. And then like Robert De Niro's just here. Is it De Niro? Was he rumored? With Chuck Berry.

Chuck Berry confirmed. Yes. De Niro meant to be into Scat play as well. He is now. I've said that out loud that it's a real thing. I don't know how much that cost. What do you think of it, though? lovely.

It's a lovely. A lovely, simple bit of objadar, in it. Got a bit of weight to it. Now it's got a little bit of weight to it. How much did I say was the first item? Sorry, if you can remind me of. You said for the first item, which was the Golden Sox, Top Shock. I think I said like 250.

250, you said, yeah. So I'm going to go ahead and say with that, that might be 150, 5, 6, 7. All right, I'm going to adapt as we go anyway. So how much you're saying for the Golden Fox? One fiddie. It ain't pretty, when it's one pound fiddier. One pound fiddy. It is pretty.

pretty though. It is pretty for one pound fiddy. Right, onto the third item in the price of shite off Manos hand of fate. Right, here we go. This is just an addendum to say that we have tested the printer and after faffing around for a little bit, it works. It works perfectly good. And it's got some charge in it. It's a nice little thing. It's got a cheap show logo and your socks that I printed out. So we'll put pictures upon our website. The only concern I have is when I scanned the instruction manual for the app the app it sent me to was basically like a PayPal knockoff type of thing i don't know that was nefarious but i always just go to play store with that type of thing anyway yeah and i did correct me and send me in the right direction and we download the app and it seems to work

tickety boo so nice little nice little thing it works and it's decent quality i've got no complaints thank you oh guys guys don't push it no that's gonna be wet i say we're stopping Right, yours is the last. It's why I go. Yeah, you go first. Okay, I've got this item for you, Paul. The actual definition of a grand finale here with my last item. To the point where I had to hide it so you wouldn't get a little dirty peak. But what's Eli got?

See, all Eli's items have been very small today. And mine have got girth. They are. They're chunky boys. Right, what's this? This is some kind of ornamental. Ornamental clay thing, which I'm thinking is Japanese based on. Chinese.

It is Chinese. I've done some really. research. Okay, thank you. It's hard to describe, but it looks like a kind of affected caricatured dragon with a Gatian face and rabbit ears on top. Again, you're almost there. Let me just say for people listening, if you want to see what this looks like, go to our Instagram account or our website, the cheepsaw.com.com. Look for the episode this is, and you'll see pictures of all the things we've got today. Oh, yeah, there'll be pictures. Now, I've got twizzles in the back, probably to hold it to something. You were right. This is a rabbit riding a dragon.

Oh, okay. A big creature. Yeah. No, this is known as Lord Rabbit. Lord Rabbit. It's Beijing specific. Yeah. Good luck charm.

Similar to the Lucky Cat thing. The Lucky Cat with the Arm like that. Why does it do that? Why does the... Because it's waving. Is that it? Yeah. It's not...

I've got the Lucky Cat here. Hot Wheels, everybody. Oh, you do. Which is really nice. We get a picture of this as well. It's called Feline Lucky. Is that something you up recently? Yeah.

I got it from Christmas. Oh, nice. And it's 2025. It's up to the date. Up to the minute. Up to the minute date. And it is celebration fat racers. Now, I think I had a...

Celebrate fat racists. What did you say? I think it's a Chinese New Year thing, the cat. Celebrating fat racists. I wouldn't celebrate a fat racists. Is that what you just said? No. Celebration races. Okay, right.

That's the series. Yeah. And there was another one. Can you think of the other one that we've done on a cheap show media that I've, from this actual series? It was the birthday cake one. Oh, it was the birthday cake one. Yeah, yeah, it was.

So this, I think, is associated with celebrations. Part of that line. Again, Lord Rabbit is as well. And it's always a rabbit, lucky rabbit, riding some kind of mythical beast like a dragon. And that's what it is here. I like the paint job on this. Mickle Beast?

Mythical Beast. All right. Okay. I just wonder what Micklebeast was? There's that coffee chain, isn't there? Mickles. I don't know. Yeah, and they've got like, it's weird.

Anyway. No, the word mickle was weird. I was just wondering. I like the word mickle's fire. I was just wondering if it was like one of those instances where you used the word I didn't know the meaning of? No, no. Mythical beast.

And I found it funny. So it said that it was sometimes. used during the autumn festivals when they're big festivals. Okay. And what do you, do you attach it to something? I think it's just a good luck charm

in the same way that Christians sometimes have the, is it the cross? Not St Christopher. That's right. That's what I'm thinking of. So, you know, it's a good luck thing for journeys or whatever. You know, it's just religious stuff.

No, no, fine. Because it has got... I quite like that. It has got twizzles on the back so you can attach it to something. It's a wall ornament, basically. But it's clay. And the paint job's quite nice,

isn't it? It's a matte paint job utilising purples, pinks and blues. Again, you can see this on the website. I... That is my third item. I go from golden socks.

I'm going to say... I'm going to say... King Rabbit, Lord Rabbit. Lord Rabbit. Which... All hail Lord Rabbit. Rabbit and the Fox? There's a thematic line going through all this.

Rabbit. Gold. Gold. Sox. Sox and Cox and Fox Fox. Sox and... Can I just interject here? Jocks.

And say, Splat, Splat, Splat, Splat. I wish you hadn't. I've got Splodges Board. Well, listen. I'm producing a splodgers board tonight. As lovely as that item was. On the menu tonight. I'm not going to let him do this.

I'm just going to let him do this until he gives up. Spank spot. There we go. Spank streak. Here we go on. Just a crack on. Crispy dried spank. Can you tell me when you're ready.

Okay. On the menu tonight on the Splodges board. Please come in, ladies and gentlemen. On the splodges board tonight. Blow my fucking brains out. I've got a spank pellet. I've got... I've got streaky.

Go on fucking head. I've got crispy spank streaks. I've got powder come. End it. I'm done now, Paul. On stage. it's in front of fucking how many other people. How about that?

How about that? I didn't mean to. How about that? Look what you've done to me. Come on, let's have an... Right, here is the fifth... No, the third. You need to guess the price of Lord Rabbit.

Oh, uh... It's your last item. 750 ceiling. Two-fiddy. Again, two-fitty. Two... You'd have two items at 250. Okay, we're going to review anyway.

Yeah. So, for now, provisionally, two-fifty for Lord Rabbit, yeah? I just like saying Fiddy. I like saying Lord Rabbit. I was born in the year of the rabbit. Yep. I was born in the year of the horse.

It's year of the snake now. It's always year of the snake with Gannon. For I... Have a leg to justify it. Yeah, there's go. Are you ready for my final item? I am. I've had to hide this because it's that good.

Oh. Oh. Oh. This has a different name. Well, what does? Tell them what it is? This is a game, everybody. It's an action game.

And it's called here. Sling puck. Yeah. And it has got an official name. I can't remember what it is right now. It's like a French thing, I think. I thought it was Dutch or Canadian. But either way, yeah.

It's kind of become one of those party game type things, isn't it? It's like a game in a box, like bar billiards or whatever, like an action game, but it's sort of board game format. Yeah. It's a one,

it's a category of game, what would you call that? Oh, that's an action. It's like, do you know that game Karam where it's like you flick these slidy pucks and it's like snooker, but it's similar to that sort of thing.

It's a booting. And Saboutio. But this is more like air hockey. It's more like that. There's a little wooden frame with a slat in the middle with a gap. And the idea is using a bit of elastic, you've got to spring your...

Each player has the elastic across the back of their path of the board. And you have to fling your counters through the little gap before the other guy can and the first ones get their counters to the other side. All of the counters, yeah, wins. Now, I have personal experience with this game.

In what respect? My friend Ben, who directed Clankerman, he is a beast on this. He just gets into this. thing and there's no defense against it and everyone thinks he's cheating basically. It's hard to cheat with that. You just got to go out. Are you allowed?

I mean, do you have to take turns? You don't. Let me read the back. I think how to play, it says on the back. Use the elastic cord to fling the pucks through the slot in the partition. Send all pucks zooming into the opponent's side of the playing field and win the match. The player who wins at least two out of three wins the game.

The game is full of action, concentration and precision. Right. In order to successfully fling the puck through the slot in the partition, you must have the perfect precision you must have perfect precision since the slot is only a few millimeters wider than the puck

that's your thing today if you want to become a pro you must develop the skills I'm getting suicidal now but there's also an element of lock to the game stay focused because the pucks may knock into each other and fly back to your side

please shut up Oh, don't, the wobble mouth. Why does the wobble mouth? Oh, yeah, it's all right. You're out to sit there and go, Spitt-up, scoodly- moo, skitt-squirtle, squirtle, squirtle, squirtle, if you'd listen...

If you'd listen... I squirce, that's good. But if you'd listen... It's a Pokemon. I was describing several dishes on the splodges board in a creative way. On the splodge board?

Isn't just wobbling your mouth every sh-thucking episode. And here we go, we got a string-pool. We've got to get on the floor for this, bro. All right, hang on the floor. How we're going to do that, though? Well, should we do it on our knees? Hey, oh!

Looking it! You be white, I'd be black. All right. But we need a level. We need a table. Honest Nick. We'll just get closer. Hang on our laps.

Fixing the mics. Put it on our laps. I don't... It doesn't really matter, does it? It's just a laugh, isn't it? How many? How many cups you got? You only start with three each?

It says three, doesn't it? Does it? No, I don't think it does. I think it's all five. All of them. Well, it says sent all pucks. Yes, yeah. You've got five?

Have you got five here? Now, do you have to put them in a starting position? No. I don't know. Are you ready to go? Where do you get? How do you get started? Just go.

Oh, three. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. There we go.

Another one. Another one. Another one. Oh. Another one. Here comes. I'm in. I win.

I win. Fuck. And that one fell off, but it did go in. No, it didn't. All right. Well, then. Go on. There you go.

Now I've won. Fuck you. How about that? Do you like it, then? Well, rematch. Rematch. I'll be black. And you'll be white this time.

All right, I'll be white again. Here we go. Put them all on the board. I think you put them behind. You must have to, right? Okay, yeah, yeah. All right. Three, two, one.

There we go. Right, here we go. Oh, it pinged off. Boying. What happens if it pings off? It counts. No, it doesn't. You've got to get it back.

It doesn't count. Bong. Oh, right. No, he pinged off. didn't go through the hole. Hey all. Hey all. Bish Bosh. This is great audio content.

Is that pinged off? You can't win because you keep pinging off. That's not. You go over the hole. You can't do that. You can't help it. You can't do that. You're cheating.

Because I'm giving it a whack. Here we go. That didn't go through. Did. Bish Bosh. There I win. Fuck you. You cheated.

Only the second time. What a great game. You cheated there. You kept flinging them all the way off. That's like if you at Snooku, if you just do it. You're lost. That's the important thing. Shut up.

I lost. But I need to ask you how much was that? Good item. Good item. Now you've said 475, 3 pounds with the first thing, lamp. How much for the puck game? Karim, I think it's called. No, that's the thing, isn't it?

I don't know. I honestly don't know. Okay. If you know, listening, why not comment below? Come on. How much is the puck game? How much have I spent so far? Three pound lamp.

Four pound. 75 on the printer and then you got the puck left and the 10 pound is the limit so that only means 5.6 7. 775 you spent so far. I'll take the printer down to 250. 250. 25 for the put game for the printer. Oh for the okay 275 to that uh 5 pound 75 leaving you with what 4 pound 25 now. I'm going to say 450 4 50. I'm hoping to get some betwiings when I'm 25 p either way because I have gone 25 p over the ceiling. Yeah. Do you want to take a little moment now to go over our scores and see how we've gotten on and whether you want to amend any? Yes.

All right, let's do that now then. I'm the winner of Puck game. Let's review. I'll go through your scores here. I'll go through yours first. So you said the lamp was three pound. You want to stick with that? Yeah.

You said the printer was 275. I like that. I like it. I like it. And then the Puck game was 450. You happy with that? I'm going to go 425 just to keep within the ceiling. Yeah, but don't worry about the ceiling because that can...

I still like 425 better. I think the ceiling is a good idea of the barometer of what you're playing with it but I think when you're judging things by price just go with your gut because it doesn't matter if you don't match the ceiling as long as you get the price wrong I'm finessing there I know

Alright well okay I'm just gonna say Come off one of the greatest runs of this game In history yeah And now it's the inevitable downward spiral It is yes so you probably win this one for Embarrassment and humiliation Yes right so what have I got them What did you say for Lord Rabbit?

I said two fiddy Oh yeah 2 fiddy two fiddy Yeah so you got gold socks two fiddy Yeah. Golden Fox. One pound 50. One pound Fiddy. Lord Rabbit. Two Fiddy. Being chased by the gold fox. Two Fiddy. And what does that all come to together? About seven quits? Something like that.

Five, six. Six fifty. And you said it was seven fifty. And you said it was seven fifty. Yeah. I didn't, I just said rough ceiling. It could be. Yeah, no, rough. I mean, we've all had a rough ceiling, mate. Don't you worry about that. I thought I'm not judging. All I'm trying to think. Just you can't say I've disqualified if it's more than seven. No, no, no, that's fine. I've done the op. I just don't know what. I don't know. Maybe I'll say the clay thing. Oh, hang on. It's more than seven 50. Is it? Made, that's not fair then. Hang on.

Hang on. Oh, this is a fucking nightmare. Once again. It's more like 10. Right, it's more like 10. Come on. You guys can revise. Well, that's completely thrown me off, completely.

I can't check the prices, can I? You can check yours? Well, it's more like 10. I feel like if I lose this now, it's on his head. It's more like 10. Do you want to revise your prices? Yes, because it's 10. An extra £2.50 of what you initially said.

Yes. Which throws it all off. I'm at a disadvantage. Well, you can read-guess. I'm just going to cry synanigans. I'm going to cry shenanigans. Is that an update of the cry-wolf? Shinanigans.

Sinanigans. That sounds like a... Christ shenanigans. It sounds like a... It doesn't sound like... Irish folk band album. Hello there, we're cry shenanigans. And our first song is...

Oops, I've dropped the pasty. It isn't an Irish word, isn't it? A Celtic word. I don't know. Honestly, don't know. Right, so the first item was what? Again, remind me. Read out your...

The gold socks, the golden socks. They were new. They're in the shop. Top shop was the manufacturer and they're very becoming. Three pounds. I've lost all confidence now. You've ruined this. Listen, we're doing it again. Fox. And, oh, two pound for the fox.

And then that leaves what? Five pounds. Oh, fucking four pounds for the rabbit. I've lost confidence. I don't like this. I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. This could be double donuts.

You don't know. This could be... It's more like eight 50s, you know. Either way, it is. now time to... You're done well badly. Yeah, well, you've not done great either, all right? Oh, fuck.

Are we both double donuts? Yeah. Maybe this is like a shit-fess. Could be. In which case, we needed a tie-breaker. We are, we are going to need a tie-breaker. Anyway, let's find out what the scores are after this short bursts of sound. Mouchi come over here.

Hello, Malti. I'm not a point for you, boy. Oh, thank you, Malti. Do you want a glibble on me nib-double? I don't. But did you keep the nice... Did you not, did you, didn't soak the, the score card, did you this time, Maltzy? Did you, did she, witty-witchie bit?

Okay, we can wipe that off. A little bit of Willy-Wolly sap on it. We can wipe the Willie-Wolly sap on it. Willie sap can come right off. Willie sap, Willie-Sap, Willie-Loo-Li-Sap, Willie-Sap, Willie-Willy-Sap. I've got some willy sap. Drippy drop, drip you are the willysap. Come on, baby, get your wheelie sap.

I'm dabbing with a little bit to clean X. Get your clean X out and dab it on. You got to get that. me Savon on. You're going to put it on. Savlon on. Savlon on. Savlon on.

We're workshopping now, everybody. I'm going to get Jimmy Savlon, Savlon, Savon, Savon, Jimmy Savlon. Skin burn. Put it down. I'm sick of this. Right, I will grab mine. You grab yours.

And we shall now reveal each other's scores. It's between time, but there may be no betwiings. Do you want to do it one as a time? Yeah. All right. Okay, in that case, I'll start with you. Truck lamp. The truck lamp.

I said... You said... Three pounds. And the item was... $199. Shit. So that's nothing there for the lamp. Oh dear.

My first item poor was the golden socks. Golden socks. Gold socks. Yeah, I said three pounds. Where's your score? Well, you have to write it down. I did. It's a very bad form for you.

You said three? Yeah. One pound and 95p. Oh, I was closer in my first one. You got the stickers? Yeah. Got them there. Fucking cool.

Right, next one. Printer, phone mini printer thing. You said, 275. Our survey said one per twing. 299. Oh, one per twing. You do get one. One per twing.

One per twing. And then the... No, no. Oh, yeah, you're doing. Yeah, go on. My second item was the gold fox. Gold and fox. Not real gold.

Yeah. Not real gold. But nice sturdy way to it. I was trying to clue you in there. I know. But you said... It doesn't matter now. You said $2.50, right?

Yeah. No, I said three. bumped it up, didn't I? I rounded it all off. No, because you said 150 before. You've put it up to 250. What are you going to say? Three quid.

It's £4.25. Fucking out. That's really expensive. It was in the glass case. Yeah, I don't know. That's really expensive. Well, it's, yeah. I only spent £1.95 on the gold socks, you know.

Finally, the puck game, you said $4.25. Answer was five pounds on the nose. Fuck! That's what I said first. I knew it was a five as shit. Well, no, you said $4.50 first. And I would, no, but I, yes, but I thought five. I thought five.

But the thing is, when you opened your mouth and spoke, what you said was forfeiting. Yes, I know. And there's a subtle difference between what's going on your head. That is all yours to keep. All right. And then what you share with us. Are you ready? Go on.

I said, I don't know. I don't care. I feel like I didn't have a fair grasp at the game at the start. Come on, mate. I would have made different decisions. This is sour. I'm just saying I would have made different decisions if you've been correct. You said, I think you lie.

Four pounds. Yeah. 50. Yeah. It's nowhere in here. It was two pounds. Yeah, well, oh, that's shit. You fucked it.

You fucked me. I win with one between everybody. You fuck this show. Do you want, I want to see your bonus item. If I get your bonus item again, it's spot on. I win. You don't win.

No, come on. I've won. I'm not gambling. If I get this on with it. I've revealed the price already to you. I didn't, I don't remember. Yeah, but you do. I don't even know what the item is.

Listen, you can have a con. You can just look at the item. Is it the game? Is it the game? No. Well, then I don't know what the item is. I've won, Paul. No, no, let's go.

I've won. Let me guess this. And if I get it, you draw. If I get it bang on. You draw. No, if I get it bang on, I get two swings. But I've got to get it bang on. You can't know.

I'm not, I'm not gambling. Why would I? If I don't, I'll give you a hundred pounds. You won't give me a hundred pounds. I'll give you a hundred pounds. You won. This, you always say this.

Yeah, Bob. See what I can do to get you to play. I don't believe you. No, you will not. Two hundred pounds. Come on. I won today. Two hundred pounds.

You can look at my item and you can guess the price, but you will not. I win with my one-per-twing. It was hard for. It was a tough game. I got my petwing. I earned my pet-wing. Here's my other item, which has nothing to do with the competition,

everybody. What is it? It's a little... You can have it. No, I don't want it. I mean, it's nice. It's a little ceramic. It's from past times,

the old shop that used to sell nostalgic shit from the Second World War. Oh. Finest porcelainst porcelain. It's a little porcelainter. It's a little gold handle of some sort. Gold handle and little gold. legs as well.

Yeah, it's nice little kind of cauldron almost. How much do you think I paid for that? That was in mind, in Camden. Funnly enough, I got that from there. 75P. It was a quid.

Oh, I would have got up a twing. So it's a draw, ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, we're ending this with a draw. That was not a draw. You won the puck game, okay? Yeah. I won't to win more.

Price of shots. Gannon wants to win everything all the time. Gannon wants to be first. Oh, that's a great. What, it is great, thank you very much. It's very great. I win. Fair and square, I win.

It is a moral draw for his boat. It's not. Because you lied to me about the window, affecting how I saw each item on a one by one basis. What was my actual total here? It's 4.25 for that. Bit late for that. Two for that. That's 625 plus 195.

Yeah, it was seven. Well, then I changed my scores for no reason again then if that's true. So all and all, all you've done is pull my pants down, grab them. Why do you want it so badly? Why do you want that so badly? You took a rolled-up copy of fucking looking. You couldn't look at each other. And you rammed it right up.

If that actually happened, we couldn't... You rammed it right up my ass, looking. We couldn't keep doing this. With the Benny Ill face poking out the end. Of what? My not? No, I'm talking about you rammed looking... And you'll look me ass.

Oh, right, I see. Looking comic. Oh, that makes it clear. Well, yeah. That makes everything clear. Yeah, you stuck a copy of looking up me bum. With stew pop poking out the other end. Oh, you lose.

I'm very deflated by this segment. It was good. I thought I was nice. Nice stuff today, Paul. Let's end the show. Not end forever. I mean, you know, poor. Here we go.

And that's Cheap Show for another week. We'll be back next week with more Thrift Fun. But if you want to follow us online or you want to know any more about us, our one-stop shop is our website. Thecheepshow.com. Dot UK. Everything's there. Links to videos off a fortnightly YouTube series called Cheap Shots.

Cheap shots. We've also got dedicated pages for every episode. So you can look at pictures and sometimes videos that accompany. Each episode, they're all there. Oh, there. Oh, what else? Just loads of stuff. Also, Patreon.

You can get a link to the episode. there, but if you are a wonderful Patreon supporter, thank you. Thank you very much. And if you want to join their number, go to patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show, give what you can, but only if you can. Only if you can. If you can't. Just retweet. We'll spread the word around.

Share it online, however you feel deep, deep, necessary. The surface of the water to attract other hippos or tell them to go away. Like, what's that muck spreading, that hippos do? That's what I always think. That's why I always think of it. Yeah, spread the muck word of cheap show. A sussole, shitting green mass and the tail thlapping it all about into the water.

Marking it to territory. Does it mark it so other hippos won't go near? Basically, yeah. Or is it trying to get a hippo to come and get a one. No, no, no, it's basically saying this is all mine. Fuck off. This is my, is it. Where I shit is where I live.

Is that why burglar's shit in houses to sort of say, I shit here. I mean, I don't know if that's a common practice. Apparently it is or was. Was it? Yeah. There was that Viz character, though. That's a Viz character though, isn't it? But it was based in sort of tabloid stories of people shitting in houses.

If I was going to rob someone's house, the last thing I think I would do would spend two, three minutes just squatting on their carpet, egging one out. Egging one out, yeah, because think about it. How did you egg one out? Come on, get out there.

You can do it. What if I don't need to go? Egg your shit out. What if I don't need to go? Egg on a shit. Yeah. Go ahead, my son. It all, come on, mate.

Oh, you come on. Shit, shit. Shit calm out. Shit calm out. Well done shit. When did you ever had a shit that makes a pop noise like that. Because you should go to docky doctors.

No, sometimes you have those poo that come out like little rabbit pellets and they fire out. They never pop. They don't like go pop. But come on, this is an audio medium. I was using the mouth popping sign to... I wasn't complaining. To simply elucidate the image of me shitting on a carpet. I was just trying to improve the very similitude of our...

There's no point. Because we exaggerate the sound to make a point, don't we? So, therefore, not everything we do should be bound by the confines of reality. Egg bound. Egg bound. You were thinking that as well. weren't you? Well, that's cheap show for this week.

Hello everyone. We hope you've had fun. Oh yeah, anyone who likes music, please listen to my radio show on Soho Radio, The House of Pickled Sound Show. Every two weeks on a Sunday, 2 till 4. And look, I have a board game channel now as well on YouTube League of Extraordinary Board Games

where we play random board games from the olden days or weird shit from today. And you're going to play some more this week, aren't you? I think we're going to film some more this week. I don't know what we're going to do. You don't know what you're doing? Not yet. No, I've got to figure that out tomorrow.

I'll see if I can pick up that... Catmouse one. Yeah. I'll give you the money for it. All right. I'll give you the money for it. It was really cheap. That's the thing.

I think it was only like 275. Right. Well, in that case, can we now say goodbye? Is that appropriate? Can we now say goodbye? Don't ask me. I'll follow your lead on this, Paul.

You always tell me to shut up and don't talk during this bit. Oh yeah. Oh, you shut up. You shut your fucking mouth. Have you done the admin? Yeah. All right. Let's fuck off.

I'm playing cards tonight. Oh, yeah? Yeah. My friend, my... Bye everyone. See you next week. No. Bye.

That's it. It's over.