CheapShow - Ep 471: Hot Potatoes

Episode Date: January 23, 2026

It’s one of those episodes where Paul and Eli are going to be doing a LOT of munching this week as they have a lot of food to munch on. In fact, it’s quite the potato heavy episode as most of what passes the CheapShow table is tuba root based! There are two new flavours of Walker’s crisps to sample, both of them promising new delights for your tastebuds. What will come out on top, the Sticky Teriyaki or the Masala Chicken? It’s the Cheap Chaps time to find out. After gobbling their way through all that, they’ll next tackle Seabrook’s new range of oven ready chips, based on the crisp company’s most recognizable flavours… Cheese and Onion and “Beefy”. If all that isn’t enough, Eli has discovered a new confectionary with an unusual flavour… KFC chicken? Yea. It’s an odd one alright! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-471-hot-potatoes www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

So hello, Tanya. I said, I'm going to get... Hello, Tracy! I'm going to get... Oh, fucking hell. Tracy. That's how you ruined someone's improv. Fucking old.

All right, Kath. That works better for me. Let's start again. Oh, hello, Tanya. Oh, hello, Kaff. I'm fuming. What are you fuming about Dave? Dave, did you say?

No, your boyfriend. Yeah, I know. You want to start again. Well, no. No, that was good. You don't know the name of your own boyfriend. No, I was going to say, what's your fucking my boyfriend? My boyfriend's name doing your fucking mouth?

What's my buffering? You said, Dave. If you've been sucking Dave off, you fucking have. This is what I'm talking about. That's why I need to get retribution. Oushi, who she, booshy. Now, there you go. Paul, let me have another go in it.

Let me see if we can make it work. I did make it work. You didn't. I did. You didn't. You are not the arbiter. You are not the judge. My distinct brand of off-the-wall absurdist

imp pro-humour. is the engine that drives this fucking endeavor. All right, Paul. Hello, welcome to another podcast with two white men self-satisfactorily talk about whatever they like, thinking everything they say is golden. Yeah. Yeah, basically. And this is our flavor of it.

Right. Isn't it? Nice. You're getting on it. I'm on it now. I'm on it. I had to rescue the frankly appalling and embarrassing improv from you earlier in this segment. I think it's funny.

And I think retro. I know you do. I know, but I know for a fact. Retribution-u-sci-o-u-she is going to be my new catchphrase. No, it's fucking not. Oh, you can't control my catchphrases. I can. They spring forth.

This is like when the crankies tried to do a new one. Everyone knew Fabadabidozy or whatever it was. They did. Fab-dab-b-dose. We saw that. They did try it tried out a new one. He was like, oh, bingy-bongy, bing-bong or whatever. It's like, no, stay in your fucking lane, Jimmy.

Right. This is the podcast. It's called Cheap Show and it begins right now. It's Cheap Show and I'm Eli Silverman. And I'm Paul Gannon and we're the two hosts of this podcast, which is about cheap things. Hence the title. Is that really what it's about at its core, Paul, at its deep. Well, mate, if someone said, if someone said to you what's the shining about,

you could say, oh, it's about a man going mad in a hotel, but what's it really about? You know what I'm saying? It's like Cheap Show. It's about cheap things. But what's it really about? It's really about a man going mad and killing his family in a hotel. What, Cheap Show? Yeah, Cheap Show.

Oh, okay, Cheap Show, yeah. We're the polar opposite, with a mirror image. Which is funny because mirrors come up a lot in the shining, don't they? Do they? Yes. There's a whole mirror motif. No, you're thinking of Polter Guys 3. It's like the twins are in a distorted mirror.

Think about it. Well, there is a lot of what you would say symmetrical shots, isn't there? Mirroring, yes, mirroring. Mirroring. Scissoring. There's a lot of scissoring. There's a lot of scissoring and cheap show. isn't it?

They wish there was more. Kimmen's scissor? Of course. Because women's... Was there something where a man... Put his willy against another willy? No. It's docking, isn't it?

Yeah. You get the foreskin from the other man's willy. Yeah? You sort of pull it up your wheelie? Do yeah? Yeah, I think that's what they mean. All right. Well, that's got to be a very European thing

because that ain't fine in the US of air, is it? None of them have foreskins. No. They do not have foreskins. They mock people who have foreskins out there. Of all the things to mock another country for, It's the lack or not lack of foreskin. Anyway, welcome to Cheap Show.

It's the Economy Comedy Podcasts with Paul Gannon, Eli Sullivan. That's me, everybody. And that's him. We go through the bargain bin, charity shops and pound lands of this great nation of ours. And other shops. For the treasure we find amongst all that trash. We've searched through the trash. Scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle,

treasure. have you? I found a bit. Have you? No rest for the wicked. Scruff, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, scuffle, Scruffle, scruffle, scruffle, tat. He's always scruffling. Oh, I'm always scruffling.

He's searching, looking for some stuff to find for his kitchen. He's got a grimy dirty. He's very grimy dirty. Who did that? Was that Flory rider? I can't remember. Yeah, I think it is flow. No, I don't remember.

Right, caught me riding dirty. Yeah. It's a DMX. He's been scrunching in a chariot. He's looking for a pin badge or a random sock. Oh, he's got grimy dirty. I don't look for a random socks. He's in a grimy dirty.

me dirty, he likes it grimy dirty. Now, I have been charity shop shopping yesterday, Paul. Just for my personal pleasure. Off the books, you know? Off the books, yeah, no. And I can't all be work, work, work. I have something to report. Go.

The glut, the after Christmas charity shop glut of interesting items goes on unabated. Does it? Yes. I'm trying to remember what I picked up. Oh, I got a tin which was very ornate tin. I don't know what it held originally, but it had a sort of cat on one and a dragon on the back. Very shiny, and it said sort of Mr. Cattington, Bojangles or something on the lid. Like, Henrington, Cattington, Bojanglington, or something like that.

Mr. Ferrington, Esquire, Bojangles. Whisketon, Bojangles. I'm letting him play that out. He's got a tin. An elaborate tin. Yes, I love a tin, don't I. Yeah, you do. I'll do it on a cheap shop one time.

Oh, a collection of tins? My tins. Oh, you know what? That would be good. That's a good one. I'd be off for that. So he'll make an appearance, everybody. Anyway, just to say the glut's still on.

No, your lack of total lack of interest. The only thing you're interested in is needling me. All fucking, and then it builds up. And then I'm shit. Oh, baby, baby, baby having a cry. This is a man's world. And you've got to fucking grow up and fucking deal with it. Come on then.

What are we got coming up on the fucking show then? Today's episode is nom, nom, nom, nom coded because we are getting our mouths and tongues and teeth into a range of cheap food things. Eli's brought some stuff, I've brought some stuff, and we've got some hot potato action at the end of the show. Hot food included. It's a sort of cheap eats extended edition.

Yeah, there's a little bit of everything, a little bit of froth shop, a little bit of snack palace. Wait, did I blow the snack palace up in continuity of cheap show? I think so, because it wasn't working it. No, it all got dark, didn't it? with like, you know, the towel mines and the human trafficking and stuff that was going on. So got out of hand.

Now for that in the real world. Crisps, candy, hot food. That's coming up today. Cheap eats, everybody. Yeah. Are you going to read the letter now? Yes. Can we take a break? And then I can put a sound effect in and then we can make it a whole segment. Just so you know, ladies and gentlemen, that's just me and Eli talking through the show. And we're going to leave it in so you can see our workings. Because unlike some podcasts

that trim it out and make it all slick, we like to keep in as much unprofessional slap dash material as possible. Add some shenanigans. Oh, we're big on shenanigans, isn't it? And also... What about tomfoolery? And mouth garbage tomfoolery. Ah, but you see, shenanigans and tomfoolery are one thing, right?

But where do you stand on Skull Duggery? No, Skull Duggery is bad. But, mate, so... Skull Duggery's things like kidnap murder. No. Yes. Skull Duggery's not bad. That is, Skull Duggery's...

No. School Duggery's... That's like stealing... No, school Duggery is more like... Scalduggery... So you did a bandestine thing, isn't it? It's like sneaking spy work. poisons in things.

Yeah, poisoning someone. That's skull dougary. It's like murder. But if you poison someone, you murder them. No, no, no, no. It's not murder. Murder is not scaldogry.

Sinnergans never killed no one, right? No, that's not true. Shenanigans have caused accidents. No, it's only when shenanigans get out of control. It's like shenanigans. It's like shenanigans. Ah, fell off a cliff. Shenanigans.

Yes, but that's a shenanigans followed by a deadly serious accident. Right. So, well, that's nine minutes. No, my point is you got shenanigans and what was the other one? Skullduggery? No, what was the other one? Shicanery. No, you mentioned...

I'm adding chicanery to it as well. Chicanery, that's not... That's kind of in between. But you said something like... I don't know, it's been so long. I think it was like 10 minutes ago. I don't know. I can't remember.

Time means nothing. Anyway, skullduggery's bad. All right. If you were doing it, did a bank job and you... No. Bank job's not schoolduggery. You stole there. You waited for them to all come back to the lair.

And then nicked it. And then you gunned them down. That's skull dung. All right. And nicked it. That's not shenanigans. Well, that's not. But it's a shenanigan adjacent.

No. Shenanigans is always on the brighter side of things. All right. Well, scalduggery is always on the darker side. Well, all right, it could be. It's criminal. It's always on the line of the... Skull Duggery is never in the legal world.

It's buggery, schoolduggery. That's all I want to know. It's buggery, schoolduggery, that's all I want to know. I pay five pound for it, and it was quite the bloody show. No, that's just... They pulled my pints out and got me in a crowd. And when they stuck it up my butt, my attic. out loud. Oh, school dungery is buggery. School dougarie is buggery too. A buggery school dungary

you knew. And I'm here to tell you that I'm going to have fun with a half a dozen sailors penis up my big fat bum. Hey, that's the best song. Sailor's penis. Oh, bring back a bill donut. I'll do songs if I want. Well, thank you. That should have been... Right. And now it's time for the next part of the show. You haven't you pressed it yet? No. I want to do with school duggery buggery buggery song, yeah. Did it. I mean... School dougary, buggery. Bougary. Oh, yeah.

You could have thought of some more impressive rhymes. I'm thinking of kedgery. Yeah, kedri is good one, but that's... I wipe a bit of kedgery all over my book's red ring, and then they come into... All right, okay. Yeah, I'm baiting them with the smell of old kedgery right on me. Bating sailors with old kedri.

That works because it's seafood. Yeah, but when you're in the cut and thrust of improvising a song, you can grab what you can when you can. It's all good in height. I'm trying to say, I'm pulling. How about this? That's fine,

but that's not how improv goes. How about this? Go on. I've stuffed a nappy full of old ladies' kedgerie. I made a great big poultice and I strapped it up on my way. I'm going to go into the ocean

and I'm going to bait and all the fish is to eat my knob and then I say, that's great. Yeah, no, you're right. See how hard it is? Do you what I mean? Because I can go back through that if you want and give you some better ideas.

I'm just saying I can you some better ideas. I did a good. I did a kedri Paltis bit. You're too attached to Kedri right now. And Paltis is. Well, anyway. That's the nature of Paltis. It's time for a tales from the shop floor.

Tales from the shop floor, everybody. Now, over the years, people write in to us here on Cheap Show with their tales from when they've been working in charity shops and other establishments. If you are... What's the name of the people who come to your shop? Customers. If you are a customer forward person in a shop, then right. a lettering to, oh, I fucked it.

Carry on. Start again with that. What are you trying to say? I'm out. I'm out. I'm just saying if you work in any kind of shop, email us if you've got a funny story. But I just got disheartened halfway through it.

Yes. So it is a infrequent segment of our show where people send us letters about their funny stories. Yeah. And sometimes quite gross stories. And sometimes quite like societally challenging stories that are upsetting.

Yes. Societal stories that are unsettling. Yeah, that's the whilst I got it. You can continue. Sorry, I won't interrupt no more. Okay, good. Promise. All right.

Yep. Now, this, however, has been vetted by you because I'm reading the letter out today. I have vetted it. And Eli today, in order to pass his quotient for content and contribution to this podcast, will be reading this out. He's looking for his speckly wooze. He needs his goggly goo, speckle eyes. There we go.

You've got a letter. It's been sent to us. So, Eli, tell us a tales from the shot floor, please. Hello, Paul. Hello. And Eli. Oh, hello. I've been a huge fan of Cheap Show since the beginning.

Do you want to... Does it say who it is first? It's fine. I'm going to just read it as it comes, okay? All right. Well, if at the end it says... No, I've already looked. Don't mention my name.

I've overlooked. It doesn't say that. All right. I just wanted to make sure. I'm just going to read the letter, okay? Sometimes I like to read the name first because it kind of ingratiates them and we know they're reading the letter. That's your way of doing it.

Well, that is. I'm a professional model would do it. I'm going to do it in my own way. which again people respect and love the way I speak and read. Okay, so just could you one sec? Can you? Can you? Can you? No, could you? Yeah.

Please. Go for it. Why don't you completely... I'll start again. I'm going to start again. Hello, Paul and Eli. I've been a huge fan of Cheap Show since the beginning. It's my emotional support podcast that I basically have rerunning 24-7-365.

Wow. I mean, thank you. It's very flattering and it's good to know that we get you through. But also quite disturbing to think of us. This being emotional support of any sort. I know, because I find it difficult to sit in a room with you while you record. So sometimes I can't imagine why anyone want to listen to both of us. We traumatise each other every week doing this, don't we?

Death by a thousand cuts, isn't it really, this? It's so hard for us. It's just terrible for our mental health doing this, but everyone else seems to gain from it. Yeah. It's weird. If our pain and suffering brings you joy, then well done. That's what we're doing.

That's what we do. Here's my story that was long overdue to be sent in. It contains no death or shit. Fine, that's fine. They aren't prerequisites for what we want, so that's fine. And it has been an issue over the years with some of the darkest societal stories, as you said. Okay, so you ready for the story, Paul? It was Halloween date, 2019.

Back when I still worked at a local not-for-profit thrift shop, three women came in, grabbed armfuls of pants and bought them up to the counter, asking to be let in the changing room. Now, if this is an American or Canadian... It must be American or Canadian, right? Then pants in this context means trousers. Yes. Because sometimes I call my undies pants.

I mean, that's the British word. It's just short for underpants, isn't it? Undies, underpants. But if I said, as a British person said to you, I've shat my pants. They wouldn't think... I would know that you've shot your underwear. Into my underwear.

Yeah. Into the gusset. Into the bollet gusset of your underwear. Yeah. Do you know what I? We all understand that. Yeah. Right.

So they come up to the account and ask you to be let into the changing room of all these trousers that they've grabbed. They proceeded to get all up in my face and insult me when I said it was store policy to not allow their bags and purses to go in with them. But eventually backed off and agreed. Yeah, because if there's three people coming at

going, I want their pants like that, you kind of go, oh, for fuck's sake, go on. Again, they were in Canada, not the deep south of America. Let me do it again. We, we, I want these pants. Better. Thank you. But do now do it.

A boot. A boot. Hey, we want these pants, eh? We want these pants, eh? I boot these pants, eh? Wee-wee. What about these pants, eh? Wee-wee. A wee-wee in my pants.

All right. Sorry. I let one of them in. She took quite a while, but eventually came out with only two pairs when she entered with around 10. Grabbed her friends. This is like a cartoon, isn't it? It is. Grabbed her friends and headed towards the door after getting her bag.

I stopped her to ask if she was going to pay for those pairs of pants, knowing she had them layered under her other clothes. Oh, so she was like complete Michelin manning it, right? That's what I mean. That's like a cartoon, isn't it? Like walking out like a starfish. I am paying attention. I stopped her to ask if she was going to pay for those pairs of pants

knowing she had them layered under her other clothes. And to remind her that the pants were on sale for a grand total of only 10 cents apiece. Wow. Fucking hell. So basically she's walking out potentially like 80 cents worth of stuff. A saving of 80 cents. Fuck me. Yeah.

She grabbed her purse and opened it towards me, violently shaking it up and down, screaming, Look inside my bag! I didn't steal shit! Yeah, but you're not going to put eight pairs of pants in the side of a small fucking purse, though, are you? Then ran out. Yeah.

I walked over to the... Get out! I walked over to the other side of the counter where she had been shaking the bag and found a little baggie full of meth on the floor. Oh, no. Oh, no. Surely worth way more than those 10 cents pants she took off with. It's cheap compared to, let's say, cocaine or heroin.

Right. But it's not free. No, it's not free. As I found out much to my chagrin. Okay, can we get free this letter, please? Yes. Okay, so the meth has fallen out. Oh dear.

Her friend came rushing back about 10 minutes later, panicked look on her face and scanning the floors, saying she thinks they had dropped something, but I'd already given it to my boss to dispose of. Also, worth noting if they needed clothes, they could have just went to the attached community resource centre that will give those in need a $5 to $10 voucher for the shop. Wow.

Really? That's what they do there. The point is, Crystal Meth is one of the most... Addictive things. And one of the most addictive, but also one of the most devastating to your brain. Your reasoning. Yeah, but everyone thinks Walter White's the hero of that show. He's not.

They don't think he is. If you watch Breaking Bad, you think, oh, he's the hero. He's someone to be admired. He's not. He's the villain. It's an origin story for a villain. Anti-heroes are much more compelling than he is. heroes.

They are. As we were talking about the other day. Parker. Yeah. In our top tier Patreon video where we do a top five

list and you did Parker books. Which is strange because I didn't know you were that into Thunderbirds. Shut up. Or did I know there were spin-offs about the chauffeur of Lady Penelope?

I don't think there are any spin-off Thunderbirds novels. No, there's bound to be some kind of spin-off. There's bound to be Yes, me lady. People are well into the music

because I've got those fan-maid... Oh, Parker! Oh, Parker! Yes, me lady. Oh. Launch. Do something about launching the rocket up a fanny or something. Fott the birds are.

Oh. Oh. Lady. No. Nice stuff. So, I had something else to say about meth. Yes.

Now, I have to admit I would have taken and done that meth. At least tried it. Right. Finish the letter. Come on. Thinking about doing speed. We're not doing any speed.

Okay, so her friend comes back looking for it. Yeah, it doesn't find it, giving it to the boss. Okay, that's it, actually, that's the end. They could have got some... I hope this was podcast worthy. I love you both. Oh, Porsche. Thank you, Porsche.

Thank you very much, Porsche. Thank you for listening for so long. What's the message we're learning for this story? Don't do drugs. Don't do meth? But do you think if they'd give them the pants back, they would have said, oh, and here's your meth, you drop that? Well, there's no description of Porsche's boss.

No. And what they were up to. Maybe they were rubbing it on their fucking. Bosch was right. Yes, I'm going to... Yes, it's very bad. And they'll be like... No, it's all right.

The bin's just there, boss. Very good of you. No, the bin's just there, so. I'll be disposing of this. But you can literally just put it in the bin right now. Yeah, go back. It's right there. Oh, he's taking it.

Right, thank you, Porsche for that letter. It was enlightening and I think a moving letter. Now, we're glad that you'd listen to us. You know what won't give you an appetite for the food we've got rest going on in the rest of this episode. What? Meth. Meth. That would really suppress your appetite.

But it would make us horny. Yes. And I'd rather be horny than hungry. Would you? Yeah. Really? Would you rather be horny or hungry? If you had to pick any one of those states to be in right now, what one would you rather be in?

Hungry. I would rather be horny. Because I've got nowhere to go. Do you know the horniest? I could just knock one out. The horniest I've ever been? Yeah. Lagos Airport.

It was just the tiredness thing. Yeah. The weird jet lag thing. Well, we're moving on. I don't want to think like you, whanking in an airport toilet. Wanking in an airport toilet. Bish-Bash and ding-dong. Gate 8 is open

A-Wanke in an airport toilet And don't forget your passport Don't forget your splash port That's the one for me Splashport Ha ha ha ha that's away Ha ha that's away

Throff shop throff shop throff a shop Frop a shop Throff shop, throff a shop Frop a shop Frop a shop Fripp shop That's Wisbet Fuck just realise that's Wisbit

You only just realised that Yeah I didn't realise that That was Wisbet until I just finished it Everyone knew that was Wisbit from the first moment. Let me, uh... I've got one. I've got one. Dip it, dip it, divot shop.

Dip it, dip it, dip it, dip. Dip it, dip, dip. Dip it, dip it, dip. Dipit, dip it, froth shop. Dipit, divit, divit, divit, divit, divit, dip, divit, dip. Dibit, divit, divit, dip, dip, dip, dip. Shop. I think that's our best moment ever.

If you go to the throth shop, Here with the candies you might see Here with the sweet teas You all say Nice, all bad Nice, all bad Every day What's the other one

What's another theme tune I can do? No theme tune We don't need a thing We've been to the Throft shop To look at Eli's cock The Throft Shop The Throft Shop Fucking hell

I don't want to go on with this anymore. All atop the sweets and candies, the Eli's riding eye, opens up his airy bum and shits in Gannon's eye. That's that thing. All the kids will be singing it. They did.

They already did. Yeah. Played Rainbow on my radio show the other day. Good. As in the song. Fred Rod, Frant. Fred, Frod, Frad, Fran. Yeah, good.

Fraud. Fraud Jordan Baud. Front Jod and Bodd. Fron Jod and Boddy. No. When Matt, Matt, you know, Matt, you know, Matt, it was Rod Jane and Matt, wasn't it? Yeah, Matt, Mac, Mac, Mac,

Matt Corbett. He was brilliant, multi-instrumentalist. Yeah, that's what they called him. We are tasting some kind of dib-dab, basically. The Froth Shop is our candy store segment of the show, in case that wasn't abundantly clear. It wasn't abundantly clear, I don't think. No, it wasn't because you absolutely ruined it

with your nonsensical dip-dabby-dip-dap song, didn't you? Whereas I'm just feeling, you know what? Here's the thing. I'm just fucking great, aren't I? Why are you feeling so good about yourself? I don't know, I'm just feeling great. I feel like anything I can say is great. I don't agree.

Look, he's literally looking at his bookshelf to find something to say. I'll close my eyes and think it's something that comes into my mind. And Magpie sings the songs of angels. Thank you. That's better. The Magpie sings a song of angels. Yes. See, when you actually try to actually find an idea from within, something good comes out.

And when I put an egg on... Oh no, go on. Please finish that thought. Put an egg on your cock. Yeah. Mate, if you do that, you know what that is, don't you? The yolk's on you. The yolk would be on me.

Yes. And then if I bummed someone, the yolk would be in poo. The yolk's in poo. All right. Well, you went from... The yolk's in poo. That's not vet... Look, here's the thing.

It's just not good. It's not good, no. You wouldn't want to eat it. No, it's not something in adult should say. It's not good to eat. No. The yolk in poo, not good to eat. No.

But I bet people have. Do you want my very special scrambled eggs recipe? Oh, yeah? How'd you scramble the eggs? Well, I pour it into the gaping anus of a friend of mine, and I stir it up using my... using my cock. And then once it all that,

he quaffes it out into a fucking frying pan. He quaffes it out. He quaffes it out into a frying pan. Quoff is when you go quaff. You drink. You quaff, don't it. He doesn't quaff it out. How could it quaff out?

Cof loff. Loff. It comes out like that. It kind of quaffed out, doesn't it? Oh, my God. Cough-flof. I have in my hand, everybody, a piece of paper. A piece in our time.

What a great gag. This is a product. Fiesta, Fresquito, dip and lick. KFC. And it literally portrays the colonel in a specialty bucket, a KFC bucket. Yeah. And he's licking a big fried chicken leg shaped lolly thing. And the brownness of the sort of yellowy brownness of the lolly has got on his big colonel's extended tongue.

And it looks like he's been licking out a camel's arsehole or something, right? It's quite the image. We'll put a picture of this up on our website and it'll be on Instagram as well. But what my question is here, is this, is this an official? KFC snack. It seems to be, doesn't it? Because it's got the logo, and it's got Colonel.

And it's got the colours of the bucket, Colonel Sanders. Yeah. Yeah. Well, does that mean it's Kentucky-fied flavor? Now, you, I did. I wanted to save it, but I did. What information have you got? So I did a detect language, because it's, you know, all foreign on the back.

And it said it was Portuguese. Which could be, I believe, but I bought it from an Asian grocer. I don't know if that has any, I mean, I don't know. Any bearing, but that could be Brazil. No, because what those. shops tend to have is that they tend to have what's the way I'm looking for? Like representatives who come from factories and things say do you want

to stock our bits and bobs and they say yes or no yeah they have reps so someone might have said we've got all this fucking candy mate they do have a sort of whole selection of kind of interesting candy because you know what else I've got from this particular shop one of those little novelty fried eggs and um... sizzly ones? Sizzley fried eggs that you use popping candy

that's a Japanese thing as well I see you remember so I don't know but anyway I've translated it and it says what this is please I want to know what this is please I want to know what this is please, Paul. According to the back of this, it says it's a hard candy caramel stick with acidified powder cola flavor syrup. Ah.

So what it is, it's a dip-dap, it's a lollipop, and it's got a shirbat. So you're not aware of these. So basically a caramel lollipop that you dip into Coca-Cola-flavored sherbet. Where's the chicken? No chicken. Where's the savory? Well, the chicken is the shape of the lollipop, isn't it? Okay, so that's going to be nice.

I thought it might actually be... Oh, God. It looks like a growth. That's the lollipop thing. Are you going to take a photo of that? Yeah. Take a photo of mine before I lick it. So I've sniffed it.

It's got a very... It is colory, but it's very much the sort of the herb spice end of cola. Like, it's... It smells a bit like... It's more, yeah, herbal. It smells like a health food shop a bit to me. Like an old, musty old sort of healthy shop. I know what you mean. I know.

It's got that kind of... This place hasn't been cleaned in a few years kind of vibe. Yeah, but herbie. But herbie. But herby. And spicy. What's the smell from the pack of? The smell's not nice, though.

It smells a bit like feet. Everything with you. But does? Do you not agree? There's a staleness. Yeah. Yes, to the smell from the packet. Oh, it's actually not a nice smell.

It's kind of acrid, a bit acrid, yeah. So let's go for this. I'm going to lick it first. I've already licked it. What did it taste of? Well, you were talking over me again. I'll do it now. You've dipped it though.

Yeah. I mean, it's very, oh, fuck it. What is it? It tastes a bit like chicken. You know what? It's weird. When you mix the cola and the caramel, you do get a weird chicken thing going on.

Am I wrong, though? There's a weird, there's a weird, there's a weird savory note. Yeah. When they mix, I do not like it I like it do you No it's not that bad That's bad

The cola churbit is really kind of It's lumpy isn't it It's lumpy but it's also like It's not very fine It's not very fine But it's also like way too sugar sweet The cola's almost right at the back And also the sourness isn't that high either

No there's no sour No that's not satisfying to me at all Sorry that is a one out of five froth's tops I would give it a 3.7 I quite like it's nice It tastes like real sugar I mean By whatever margin of that, yeah, fine.

I quite like it. It's got nice, nice flavours. It is advised to stare the powder thoroughly before consuming to promote good mixing and flavour contribution to the product. That's what it says on the back. Weird, should you care. But I like.

Dip-dip-dip-sweet. You know, the old, the chalky lolly one used to get in the past with the straw. That's a dib-dab? Is it a dib-dab? Yeah. I thought that was a chocolate one. But anyway, yeah, we had strawberry or raspberry

or orange and raspberry. Like a crechesure. It's a chalky refresher that you're dipped, yeah. I like that. It's a whole sort of genre of sweet, isn't it, really? The dip dips. Something with a powder component and a lolly that you lick to get the adhesion going. Yeah.

And then you dip into a powder. You could do it with chocolate powder. You could do it with any powder. I quite like... Garlic powder. The flavour on that wasn't too bad. There was some interest there. I just think you're too close-minded.

Maybe I just want to live in a world without disgusting fucking... product like that on the streets. Maybe if you thought about that, maybe I want to live in a better world where I'm not licking KFC fucking caramel cola lollies. Is that a better world when that doesn't exist? It is. It is. It absolutely is.

Now, there's one that is glow in the dark gummies. I saw glowing the dark fucking gummies. That's a troubling fucking... Yeah, we are. Have you got a... Because you know what they glow in the dark in? Is black light? Yeah, I've got a black light. It's not like glowing the dark like a watch face, because that's radioactive. You can't eat that? Although, judging by the lowering standards of food companies these days,

I wouldn't fucking put it past them. The other thing we need to taste are those trolley balls. Oh, look, Mum, here's some Chernobyl Noms for you to enjoy. No, they're trolley balls. Like these foamy balls. Mm-hmm. And they've got a liquid inside, and they're really cloying and weird.

Paul Gannon also has foamy balls with a liquid inside. That needs enjoying. I really want you to taste those because I think your gag reflex will go. Well, get them then. Bring them. I'll fucking have him. I'm going.

He's fucking worry about that, mate. I'll fucking have him. Oh, good. Yeah, Paul, right. Have him. I'll put anything you want in my mouth. right now. You don't, you don't though, do you? Anything. You just go, right, I can't be bothered. I'm not tasting it.

New Paul, new me. Oh, Paul, whilst we're on the subject. Oh, we're running out of time, mate. No, is this, is this, is this pertinent to this segment? No, press a button for, by all means, and I can start the next bit with, we're doing the crisps next. Yeah, fine. All right, well, now that Eli fucking says so, we'll fucking stop the segment, shall we? Now that Eli's fucking said so. No, we've got to get through this. The songs haven't been working this week. For you? For you? For me? that I think some of my finest work. Mate, none of your songs ever are fucking good. I'm sorry to say this on the podcast. What?

But none of your songs have ever been good. Or cohesive. That's not true. And you know, you're just being cruel. You're being cruel for the sake of it. Yes. Yeah, that is. But it's also, I'm allowed to be cruel for the sake of it

whilst being factually accurate. You're not being factually accurate. I am. When we did the 10 year, when everyone sent in their favorite things from the 10 year anniversary of our, one of the favorite things from everyone, Paul, was my song,

and you know which one it was, Umami asshole. Everyone loved it, it worked. We did a whole musical. Oh, Norman, you can't test me on his songs. You cannot test me on the songs. Just because someone fucking listened to that and thought, oh, it's like Charlie bit my fucking finger.

Several people. You know what I mean? It's like, so what? People like laughing at the homeless. People like laughing and enjoying, like, hatred. People like the worst things in the world. And that's why they like, what I do, is that what I? Absolutely

spot on Bing Bong Bingo. Toxic Gannon with his mouth full of bile, spewing venom. I'm just saying it like it is. I ain't, I'm just saying it like it is. Just asking questions. Dickhead. Just following orders. Right, so now Eli's here to tell us all the fucking news about noodles.

Noodles, very important to this show. One of the pillars, in fact, of Cheapcher, everybody. And I love cup noodles. Yes. Nishon. Don't draw this out. Nishon. And they, We tasted their pumpkin pie one.

That was an abomination. But this is Nish in America, which obviously are a different vibe. But they're bringing out three limited edition cup noodles. Paul, all wings-based. You got, let's see what you think of these flavors. So Paul McCartney's heavily involved with these, are they? See what you think of, I've left that.

I'm not going to move on it to you recognize it. I left a gap for you to cut that joke out because it's so poor. No, I'm going to use that gap to put a round of applause in. You should use it to put a fucking whew. Nah. Tumbleweeding. No, I'm going to save that for the next gag you do with this podcast. You'll be too busy laughing to remember.

No, I won't have to. Why is it to attack? Why do you have to attack me all the time? Because I've got nothing else. We're here, we're trying to build something together. We're trying to build something together. You give me no support, no comedic support. Good.

Yeah, don't shrug at me. Fucking dick. Are you ready? Yeah. I want you to tell me what you think of these flavors. Right. V-a-V how good they'd be in an instant noodle. Yeah.

Okay? Yeah. They're all wings. Wings. Okay, so you've got lemon pepper wings. Nice, I'm fine with that. Spicy buffalo with ranch. Okay, that could be good.

Or the worst of the three. The third is garlic parmesan. That would be nice. Yeah, that would be probably easier on the palate. The first one's the one that's kind of the most daring. Lemon pepper? Yeah. No, I think buffalo with ranch is the most daring.

Because that's going for, the ranch is creamy, so you can have that cheesy creamy sort of carbonari. Also, you've got almost Asian flavorings to the lemongrass one that I think makes it a bit more interesting. I think that could be the nicest. That could be the nicest. I would be happy to taste all three of those. Hopefully we can get hold of them,

but we've had some proble in the past, haven't we? We've definitely had probals in the past getting hold of those. We've definitely had probals in the past. One or two probbles in the past. Pobbles in the past. So is that your source report then? That was just, I'm just updating about Nishon. Those are coming out.

Anyone in the North Americas? I know you've got a lot on your play at the moment. Yeah, just a couple of things to worry about. Where did we get that pumpkin pie one? Someone sends us that. Yeah, they sent us it. Thank you for sending it. It was fucking rough stuff.

Horrible. Not my favourite. But if you're out there and you're listening in the US and you think you can send this to us, please do. We would love to because Listen won't send us shit. I don't know what it is about this podcast that they find off putting, but we've bent over backwards for Nissan, haven't we? Well, we've reviewed a lot of their stuff.

And tried our very best to please them. And what do they do? They just look at us and walk off. I think it's too, we're too foul-mouthed for their corporate image. Anyway. He's lost it. I've lost it. That segment

completely just took the wind out of this show. It's noodles, mate. Look, that's us. There's a picture of us on a fucking noodle over there. Noodles is a big deal.

Right, let's taste some crisps. There's been a hoo-ha lately with Walker's doing a rebrand in the UK of all their crisps and shit like that. And there's going to be a new flavour. That's what all those

click baity articles seem to be saying. But I don't, you open it, you get three pop-ups and it's like, I just want to know what the new flavour is. Do you know what I mean? What is the new flavour pool? You know what?

Actually, I'll look this up now. You didn't find it? No, I just didn't think to look for it for now. I was going to get into the Chris. They bury that lead in those fucking clickbait articles, don't they? Because that's the actual salient fact you want to know. Right, so this is from the Convenience Store.com.com. There you go.

And they want me to register. I will not be doing that. I have now zero free articles remaining to read. After this article. Oh, no, convenience store.com. not UK. I was going to bookmark you. Right, here we go. This is the story from a few

maybe a month or so ago. Oh actually, 8th of Jan. Walkers has unveiled the largest brand refreshed in its near 80 year history, describing it as a bold new visual identity across its core range, signaling a new chapter for the iconic brand. Now, we should say, Paul,

for those abroad, listening abroad, it's just a new logo. Walker's owned by Pepsico, Frito Lay, but are the most successful and most widespread crisp brand in the UK by Miles have been... But owned by Lays, basically, now.

Yes, yeah. Since the late 90s, they were owned by Lays. But this is what I fucking hate about business speak. It's all this, a bold new visual identity. It's like, it's barely any different from how I recognise. Let me see, could have a look? Yeah, it's got a little image of the pattern.

Oh, yeah. That's similar, isn't it? But it's not a bold, new, original, fucking... It's new. It's new. The colours are the same. I think all they've done is they're starting to homogenise the look across their brands, across the countries.

Yeah. Because that to me, it was like, oh, you know what I mean, Asian or Indian market crisps. Anyway, the refreshed design features the new sun-inspired logo while championing the real ingredient

into 100% great British potatoes at the heart of every pack. Packs will also... They are good crisp, they're very consistent, aren't they? I've got no complaints from workers. Because like with Golden Wonder, you used to find, like burnt ones sometimes.

But I like that. The green ones, those weird green ones. Yeah, that's the best bit, though. You don't want to eat those green ones. You do. I did. You shouldn't. And there's nothing wrong with me,

Limer. Pax will display the signature of the brand's founder, Henry Walker, a subtle reminder of the brand's heritage and long-standing commitment to quality. Rolling out alongside the new look, Walker is introducing a new flavour. Tell me! Now that I know, I'm not a bit disappointed because I'm a bit fucking bored of it already. Hot honey! Oh, yeah, that's everywhere.

I told you, it's the salted caramel of our age. Yeah, I don't know why hot honey has become the thing. It's fucking everywhere. Honestly, every big, like, processed fast food brand seems. The Faf cakes we had on the pub. Jaffa case, they're doing it. Fucking, do you know what? There's a fucking KFC special edition burger out now,

drizzled in hot honey. It's crazy business, man. It's a flash in the pan. I bet that's rough as well, that fucking KFC burger. I mean, we'll try these out, obviously, at some point on the show. Oh, those crisp, for sure. What's this? Explain this.

I don't know what this means. The new non-H-FSS variants will join the Walker's core range and build on the brand. No idea. That must be a convenience store sort of thing. Followed by the launch of, and what will be tasting. in this segment of the show, sticky terriaki

and masala chicken flavors. Are those going to be permanent these two flavors? Alludes to that in this article. Yeah. I don't know if that's a plan. Hot honey offers more choice for snackers who want to combine sweet and savory

with online searches for the flavor up strongly in the past three years. Yeah, everyone loves it. I mean, it is a great combo. Anyway, yeah, so that's largely it. They also have a new, the new look also extends across there better for you.

portfolio with Walker's oven baked, which was formerly Walker's baked, and the range will include two new flavours there, slow roast beef and sun-dried tomato in basil. I do not care for those baked crisps. I quite like him. You do, really? I just, I feel like the fried thing is something missing for me. I know, but if you treat it like a, like a biscuit more than a crisp. A savory biscuit.

You know what I mean? You think about it more like that. If you're not looking for that fried taste, yeah, yeah, you can still enjoy, yeah. So we got two of these. we've got terriaki and sticky terriaki and masala chicken. Let's go for the masala chicken first, please. I do like the design nicely, you know, nice colours and design on the pack. That's all right.

They're new, so these are going to be permanent, yeah. You've got multi-packs. That it alludes to. It's not like limited editions, what I'm saying. It's not saying limited edition. It's saying, no. Usually it does, though, doesn't it? Inspired by the Japan Flavours of.

Oh, inspired by the flavors of Japan. And this, the one, the masala chicken, inspired by the flavors of India. I'll tell you what I think about chicken-flavored crisps. Yeah. Often, on this show over the years, when we've tasted crisp flavors, if they've got any kind of poultry in the title of what they're in it,

always the same. It tastes exactly like Walker's, brown packet, roast chicken flavor that everyone shunned at picnics throughout the 80s. Rose chicken, just chicken. Turkey, just chicken. Grouse chicken. Yeah, it all tastes that,

has that same sort of basic chicken stock kind of flavor. Anyway, I'm hoping... You're shaking the bag. I'm hoping these aren't just like roast chicken with a little slight heatness. Here's the thing, though. It's going to be more masala than chicken. I think chicken is secondary to the flavour profile of the masala.

Those curry flavours, basically. I have been, as you can hear everyone, I've been agitating the flavour molecules that coat these crisps, getting them into a plasmatic frenzy of air-bound flavour bits. For those who like... I'm going to read with my nose decoder. For those who like a simpler sense,

It's what we call the jostle and hoof. He jostles a bag and then he gives it a huff. The jostle and hoof. Thank you. I doubt you really did keep that simple and I thought you were going to fuck it up. Well, there you go. Don't stare at me like that. You squinty, beanie little fucking rat eyes.

Cuns. Come on. The little look he gave me was like, you're going to fuck this. I'm going to lap up every single fucking awkward moment. I'm glad you succeeded. Now, he's giving it a big off. No red straight in.

Very nice curry powder smell. Right. And it's just a... Generic curry powder. No, it's a little bit stronger than a chip shop. I was going to say, is it just going to be chip shop? No, it's got... It's more rich.

It's a little... It's more like a curry, like a masala, in fact. Coconut-y? No. It's just curry. Okay. It's curry... That's a lovely smell, I have to say.

All right, he's taking a few. Give it a jostle and see what I mean. See if you agree that it's... It's smell stronger than chip shop. Yeah, you're right. It's still... I think the base is still chip shop. but you're right, it's a little bit more complicated,

which sounds a bit pretentious for Chris. It's like, is it more cardaminy or something? It's like, it's got, yes, it's more. It's, it's amped. Now we're going to, we're going to chew this. Amplitude. Here we go, we're eating. So that was all right, but do you think it was a little plain?

I like the simplicity. I think that's really good. The balance is really nice. It's a mild curry flavor. But you know what, Paul? Yeah, absolutely right. What? Where is the, but, where's the chicken?

You know what? I was going to say, the chickens at the back end. Like, Yeah, I know. But you know what I mean? It's like the chicken kind of rolls up after you've gotten through the curry flavor and there's like a little bit at the end

just to kind of make you go, oh, it's... I did notice it then. I went back in and I noticed, yeah. And the potato, I think, unfortunately, because it's quite a mild flavor. I think the potato overtakes the flavors at a certain point when it gets all mulchy.

I like those a lot. I definitely would buy those. Yeah, they're fine. I've got no complaint. I prefer that to a plain chicken flavor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, very nice. I think it was just a little bit...

I thought it was going to taste stronger because the flavor, the scent of it was stronger. Well, anyway, lovely, I would give that a three. I'll give it a 3.6. 3.6, all right. Yeah, yeah. Right. Tasty, a little plain, a little underpowered. Yeah.

Now, next bag. So this is sticky terriaki. Now, Paul, isn't it funny how crisp manufacturers are going for texture things? Because it's not sticky. How do you make it sticky? It's a crisp. It's dry and crunchy. Because terriaki is terriacchi, no matter of the consistency, right?

But they add that sticky, the texture word to try and amp up your experience of the flavour. Yeah. Do you see what I mean? It's building up a profile. It's like on ribs. It's those sticky kind of. Yeah. So, yeah.

So I find it interesting because so much of flavour is just contextual. Yeah. We've discussed before. If you get a metal spoon and you taste yoghurt as compared to like a plastic spoon, everyone says that the metal spoon tastes creamier. And it's the context. And so I think they're trying to. cleverly trying to give you more context to enjoy the crisp.

It's more evocative to say it like that than it is to just go, it's terriaki ribs. Yes, and it will affect your experience somehow. I'm going to do it. All I've say is I've been noticing that more and more with food products that they use some kind of texture word like sticky or crunchy or whatever to try and sell it. Here we go. He's jostulating and hoffinating.

What do you think of terriacchi as a flavour? It's definitely there. It's weird. You can definitely smell the kind of sticky ribs. Do you know what the three main flavors in terriaki are? Eggs, biscuits, lemon juice. No. Ham, chocolate, frogs.

Sausage, pasta, gravy. Peas, sugar, crisps. You've run out of fucking spicy crisps. You can't think of shit. Ham, cod, lard. Curds, weigh, hay. No, that's... Hay is not...

Hay it is. Horses eat hay, like... The three main components to make up terriaki are sugar. Yeah, I said sugar did nice that's one. Soy, I also said. I've heard soy sauce, yeah. And garlic. I definitely said that.

There's garlic in terriaki. So it's... Are you getting any garlic at all? I mean, that would be the lowest level. No garlic here. Soy sauce definitely sweetness. It's like caramelised sugar, is the sort of taste. Or sometimes they use honey in terriaki, I think.

All right, I'm going to take some out. Eli. I need to get... I'm going in. Oh, yeah, there's some of that burn on the nose, isn't there? There's a little... Oh, that's quite pleasing. It's quite pleasing smell.

And you've eaten a few now. Much lower amplitude. Much lower. They were fine, but considerably like weaker. The flavors are, but the flavors are sort of don't go together so well. Do you see what I mean? They're fighting more. The sweetness I didn't like.

I found that quite unpleasant. Too sweet. Not oversweet. Just too sweet for what I was expecting. Yeah. It doesn't work as well as that as the masala at all. You know what it feels like? You know if you get like a bad takeaway and you get like

terriaki sauce and a dipping pot? It's kind of like that sensation, where it's a very broad strokes version of terriaki. Yeah. It doesn't work for me as a Chris. Honestly, it just didn't... Not unpleasant. Not unpleasant. I'd give a much lower score.

I'd go like a 2.2. I might just stick with two, keep it simple. I mean, that's below halfway. Yeah. A subpar crisp, we're both saying, yeah? Yeah. It's not remarkable and it's actually, I do think I could eat a bag of that.

No. It's something kind of unpleasant about the way the sweetness and the kind of smoky that they're going for there, the soy saucy smoky, sort of fights a bit. And the garlic at the end, again,

feels isolated from those other flavors. Yeah, it's only there. What I mean by low amplitude. It's more like it doubles up with a potato flavour. Yeah. And then it makes a potato flavour kind of harder to eat. It gives a weird, weird vibe to the potato flavour. Yeah.

Yeah. Not unpleasant. Just, uh, underwhelming and disappointing. I don't think it's good as the masala at all, but... No, not at all. To be fair, though, you can't really go wrong with masala flavours. With curryed flavoured flavours. You can't really, yeah.

They kind of go together like shababababababab. Dibb-b-Dib-Dib-Ding, don't they? No. No. No, Paul. See, you should have just paused. She go together Like diibba jibba jimba jimba fobbly lob blob

That one, in it It's Greece Why is it called Greece? Greece Lightning Yeah but why is the film called Greece? Because they're mechanics No, they're not mechanics The school kids

They are like the rockers They're all like car guys I've never seen it And I will never see it And I'm fucking You know what What Fucking that fucking song

Fucks me off Some of loving Happen so fast Some beloved I be a blessed That is like The epitomey of the wedding reception that I do not want to be at.

Oh, what are we tasting now, Paul? Well, Eli Silverman, my friend, we're going to wrap up this culinary episode of Cheap Show by ingesting some hot potato goodness because I went to the supermarket and we saw something and I thought we'd buy it and we're going to test it now. Yay.

So let's get the oven on because it's time to do some cooking. He's already got the oven on. I've already got the oven. That's the magic. Here's one I made earlier. Oh, now me and Eli, who've been in the kitchen for the past half hour or so,

getting the next segment ready. We certainly have Paul and I can smell the smells of it. Here, it's filling the room with the sweet odour of potato, processed potato snack. Hmm, what are we tasting? Today we are tasting three of the recently released Seabrooks' baked potato meal things. Things. They're like frozen oven chips. They're doing their version of them with slices of.

and fries. Slices and fries. And what are Seabrooks for those not in the cognoscenty of the crisp-loving higher echelons? Well, for those who are ignorant to the joys of Seabrooks, they are a reasonably budget-branded crisp company. And as it says on the back of this thing, it says the Seabrook story began in 1945 in Yorkshire, where we produce our crinkle-cooked crisps and continue to excite nation's tastewoods to this day. Yes. So we went from Walker's, the biggest brand of crisp, to this,

that have just putted along for... I don't know. For ages since 40. 2045. Yeah. Post-war. They came out. Post-war.

So basically, they've released a version based on their Chris brand of hot potato things, right? Yes. So we're going to be tasting three flavors of potato snack thing. Although there also are in the fried, because we've got two types of potato slices here and then fry. shaped sort of crinkle, trying to imitate the crinkle cut crisps. Yeah, they call them crinkles, the slices. There's a salt and vinegar flavored pack, which I didn't get. I didn't want to buy four bags of fucking chips.

Tato things. And then just have them in the freezer forever because these might be horrible. Okay, so what have we got to taste today? We will be tasting the Seabrooks Crinkles Sea Salt. That's one. So basically ready salted. It's ready salted. Yeah, and then we've got the Seabrook French fries,

cheese and onion flavor. Cheese and onion chips. Cheese and onion chips. Oh, I'm looking forward to them. And then finally, we have another crinkles again. Seabrooks crinkles, beefy flavor.

I can see the beefy ones. They're browner. They're deep brown. And just, no spoilers, but I just gave some to my partner to try, and she went, no, like that.

So, we're going to try it. But what's her predisposition towards the... She's a big potato fan. She likes a potato meals. She loves... Okay. If it's got a spud in,

she's all in. Now, Seabrook. overperform in the flavour steaks as the crisps. They're very tasty. We've tried some of their special ones. Worcester sauce is the one that we walked away with. That is a proper good. That's a proper good one.

Yeah, it is. Easily as good as the Walker's Worcester sauce flavour. Easily, I would argue better. I would argue better. I would argue better. Cringle cooked crisps, lovely, lots of flavour, never too overwhelming, usually very, very nice. Often overlooked, I think.

So I would be expecting good things, but maybe not. Now, we should go from the plainest up to the, should end with the beef. Yeah, so let's end with... Well, that isn't that always the case? A always end with the beef. Well, you're at a party? End with the beef.

Well, beef means arguments, so we have... Does it? Does it? What about beef meaning, you know, full cockage? It doesn't mean full cockage, though. Beef means... It means drama. What if I gave you the beef?

If I have beef with... Yeah, it means we'd be arguing. What about beef skullduggery? Beefy school duggery. Beef-based skullduggery. Beef-based skullduggery. Right, so that means we're going to start with the... Oh, come on.

Beef-based skull fuckery When I go in through the eye socket Oh, you see, that's unpleasant I don't like that. Oh, that's unpleasant. I think that was, Do you want me to edit that out? That's very horrible.

No, I'm going to say it again. Go on. Beef-based skull fuckery. There we go. Squish the eyeball, in and out, slob, slob, slob, slob, slob, John's your uncle. Look, the gliss on the iris.

Get it in, pop it through. Gliss on the iris. Glisten on the iris. Do you want to fucking eat these chips? Not really. Right, well, these, we're going to start with the crinkle sea salt, The C-Sot ones, yes. And I do have some sauces, everyone.

I'm going to go sauce nude. Generic ketchup session. Well, good. You don't mind if I put a bit on the end of the plate. I don't want any contamination. I don't want any contamination. I'm not going to. I'm going to try this first one, the crinkles, sea salt, potato hot.

Naked. Naked. This is just a salty potato coin. Slightly salty. I'm going to go with my second on. He's going in with a sauce dip now. He's doing the dip with the ketchup. Textbook.

Very. plain, aren't they? Not bad. They're meant to me, though, aren't they really? It's plain. It's why I thought I'd get these ones, because they're the base. This is a, it's a nice, the crinkle works for me. I don't mind those. I like that taste. It's that processed potato flavour sort of. You know, like an alpha yeah, that kind of thing. Burtide potato

waffle. Exactly. Like a potato waffle. Yeah. Oh, nice, they're nice. That's fine. As a base, French fries standing for a meal, if you wanted to mix it up. They're slightly salty, they're just ready salties. There's nothing to say in terms of flavor now. Now what do you want to do beefy or cheesy? Cheesy next. Right, we're going to do cheesy next. These are fries. So these aren't coin-shaped little things. These are actually cheese and onion flavour fries. Yeah, and I'm going in. I like that smell. Nice cheeses odour.

Ooh, I like those. They're salty. Yeah, nice and salty. I wasn't getting much in the way of cheese from that. There's a sort of onion, though, isn't there? I'm going to have another one. The only thing I would say about these were, if you just put them on a plate, it didn't tell me anything. I don't think I would have guessed to a cheese and onion. I thought they would. I thought they would have been just a slightly odd-flavored french fries. I think you would. It's not a strong cheese and onion flavour, but it's quite nice, I think.

It's not unpleasant, is it? No, it's definitely not unpleasant. It's fine for what it is. Yeah. Would I want them again? No. Possibly not. I don't buy, personally, I haven't chips myself.

No. I eat chips at home. It's always better to get them fresh when it, like, in a fast food. Or chippy. You know, proper chippy chips. The whole thing of like actually deep-frying chips at home. It just seems so sort of...

Ivan deep-fried chips. do that. No, never. Always. Oven chips growing up. Always. And I, nothing against oven chips. They're much better than they used to be. I think they're quite nice.

The final thing we'll be tasting today is the beefy. Crinkle slice. Crinkle coin. Yeah. Oh, there's a nice umami, almost marmite smell coming off. Hmm. You know what that's like? That's like if they've been dipped in gravy.

Yeah, it's nice. It's the nicest. Yeah, kind of nice. That's the nicest. I kind of like the gravy thing. Or sort of a beef stock sort of. Yeah. For gravy.

You're right. I was thinking it was going to be like horrible powder. kind of monster munchy flavor, but actually that's kind of nice bisto gravy Sunday. There's no, yes, there's no sort of powder flavor. They're all right, actually. I think my ranking is this. Cheesy at the bottom, salt at the middle, beefy on top. I would go with that as well.

Yeah? Yeah, the beef's are the nicest, isn't it? I just like that gravy. I have to taste at least. It's a nice flavor. It's very homely. Yeah. It's very, oh, Sunday evening.

Oh, bullseyes on telly, mother. A little bit Marmite, a little bit, you know, but not as strong. as say a beef-flavored hoop. It's more stock than block. Nice. That means nothing. It means nothing. You shouldn't have said it.

But I mean, you could say that about almost everything you've said all day. But each bag, I mean, this is said about the fucking podcast from day one. Yeah, we just sit here huffing our own grunts. Huffing our own grunts.

The Paul Gannon that appears on the cheap show podcast is in no way affiliated with the Paul Gannon in real life who, on a day-to-day basis, a pretty lovely bloke. Keep telling yourself. I have to. I have to.

So, do you want to give individual scores for that? out of five, as is our weft and want. As is our weft and want, I will say, the crinkles sea salt. Crinkle sea salt flavour. 2.5, nothing remarkable. Does the job. I say three.

I say three. But honestly, just get chips. I mean, yeah. You know? I don't know. Maybe you like the shape. Like a disc. That is quite satisfying.

Sort of shape. Yeah. That is quite satisfying. I'll give you that. Then the cheese and onion ones, I'm going to give 1.5. Didn't like those. Let's just say,

the minute they go cold, they're going to be the worst things in the world to put into your mouth, I feel. Yeah, it was sort of like a little bit not delivering on the cheese or the onion, and the amplitude was low. Off. So I would go two point, I'd go halfway. I didn't hate those. I'd go half, 2.5 those. Oh, okay. I said three for the ready salted.

Now we move on to the beef, final beef. I'm just going to keep it simple for... I wouldn't go that high, you see? 3.75? Yeah, I'll see you at 3.75? I see you at 3.75. All right, let's meet it's 3.7.5. I'm going back in. I'm going to have some ketchup.

All right. Oh, he's doing dipping. Oh, he's got a nice slather on that one. Is that beefy and ketchup now? Nice. I like ketchup. Well, there we go. So, sue me.

Each bag, by the way, if you were shopping, because I got these in Morrisons, each bag was two pounds each. And how much? How much is it weighing? Oh, I've took a picture of the bag. We need to know how much. They're quite good.

That's quite. If you're on a budget. That's quite good. And you have to have oven chips in your life. Yeah. Two pound eight for that, because I know the Aunt Bessie's ones. At least a kilo of them, isn't it?

The Aunt Bessie's ones tend to be a quid cheaper than most of us. So you could get a Morrison's own brand love and chip, and that would be maybe £1.50. Do Aunt Bessie do funny flavoured ones, though? They don't, do they? Although Aunt Bessie do do do through crisps as well, don't they? Well, they do now. But let's remember, this isn't really Seabrooks.

This is a company called Angon. D2 International that are based in Amsterdam and Manchester. And they've obviously just gone to Seabrooks here. Can we have your iconography in Lovergo? We're a potato. We're generic potato brand people. Yeah, we are generic potato.org. And they go around the world asking various local crisp manufacturers

if we'd want to do a special edition potato style snack. And everyone says no, and see you books about, we'll do it. I think it's 700 grams, if that means anything to you. That's how much it in a bag you get. Yeah, kilo is 1,000 grams, right? Crispy, yeah, it is, yeah. Crispy, fluffy, quick and easy, crinkles, beefy flavour. Good value, yeah.

I liked. I wouldn't tear my nose with them. And I would like to taste the salt and vinegar ones at some future date. Yeah, I do regret kind of getting them. Maybe I should have swapped them out for the sea salt. Yeah. Just for the variety. But I wanted the bass.

I wanted the baseline one. You should have. Or maybe we'll come back to them. Anyway. Might be something we do on a cheap shot. It might be something we do in a Patreon pod. Thanks for listening, everyone. Oh, he's off.

That's it. It's time to tie this show up in a pretty little bow. Yes. I'll wear it. I'll wear it across your genitals. I'll be naked apart from that. Dancing. With a little dance.

Is it hiding your genitals? Yes, very serious look on my face. So serious look but gaily dancing There's a merriment to the prancing No merriment No prancing No, it's robo dancing with a serious look on my face And you're naked just wearing

I'm imagining a pink silk bow around your waist No, it's a metallic one Right, a metallic bow No, I know you're smiling It's good I know you enjoy it and I enjoy it too But it's not laugh worthy It's just good

Come on let's move on That's fine we're allowed to have just good Just move on Is it something you can take gently down the stream Row Row your bow Row your bow Row gently down the stream

merrily merrily merrily Eli's pants are full of cream Well that's how we're ending that segment And let's wrap it as Eli said Let's wrap it up in his little robobo And that's Cheap Show for another week We'll see you next week If you want to find us online

You want Stop Shop is our website Thecheepshow.co.uk If you go there you'll find us everywhere else On the internet from that point forward Whether that's YouTube, podcast, stream, Patreon all that kind of stuff There are pages dedicated to every single episode of the podcast with pictures and sometimes videos

if you want to see and look at the things we eat or play with. Paul, little update. I just went in for a crispy one. Yeah. Bloody hell. What crispy one? Like crispy little. The little ones got more crispy.

Oh yeah, yeah. On the beef coins. Do you get a beef crispy? I got a beef crispy coin. I just wanted to say I would, I'd say that's the best aspect of this. Is this one good? Yeah. I'm going to try this beefy coin.

No, this is the crispiest one I can find. It's not crispy enough. Oh, well. Nill desperandum. And look, we've been going for 10 years and we couldn't have done it without the help and support and love of our Patreon supporters.

If that's one of you, we love you very much and we can't tell you how thank you we are that you allow us to do this. I can't tell you how thank you I am. I can't tell you how thank you you are, Eli Silverman. But if you would like to join their number and get access to extra podcasts

and videos and behind the scenes stuff and early access to live shows or whatever's, Patreon.com, forward slash cheap show, give what you can, but please only if you can and if you can't, spread the word online, however you would like to do, whether that's reviewing us on the podcast app platforms or whether that's sharing us on social media, that would be just as lovely. Thank you very much.

I just realised the word number can also mean number as a more numb. I've never heard of, I never thought of that. Yeah. Is that a real word, number? Yeah. But it's spelled exactly like number. I don't think people use the word number a word a lot, do they? They don't, but it's definitely a word.

You say that's more numb. It's getting numb. You would say that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Like a dick could get numb. Yeah.

What you could do is try and get an artist to do it with no sensation in their hands. So you could have like paint by numbers. Nah. Nah. Bye, everyone. I tried. Come on. I tried.

You did. Thanks. I tried to tie it together. I think... Numer. I got nothing. I can't think of it. I mean, you got nothing.

I got nothing. I can't think of an out. You don't need to think of an out. You just say, thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week. We'll be back to real next week. Let me say again then.

Go on then. Thank you for listening. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week. We'll be back next week. I'm Eli Silverman. I'm Eli Silverman. And I'm Paul Gannon.

And I'm Paul Gannon. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.