CheapShow - Ep 472: Tat Craptacular

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

Although we don’t look for items from Ali Express, Wish etc, we don’t mind if our trusted audience members send us stuff from those online hives of questionable items. However, sometimes there is too much of a good thing… Or too much of a bad thing… as Paul & Eli are gifted a box that may overwhelm their price guessing senses in this Craptacular Ali Express Edition of The Price of Shite. There are over 20 (!!) knick-knacks, bits of bric-a-brac and weird curios for the Cheap Chaps to (somehow) price up for those illustrious “p’twings”! Who will come out on top, and who will be buried under a pile of crap… and does it matter? Also, if all that wasn’t enough, it seems like a CheapShow side character has been promised their own segment, which is absolutely not going to happen! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-472-tat-craptacular www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Right, I've been listening, Paul. Yes, about to the podcast. To recent episodes. Right, that's good. Looking at the very least you could do is that. Looking at some comments online. Don't look at the comments. I've decided.

Don't like comments. I'm going to be a nice person and I'm going to be here to support you in this endeavour. No, no, no, no, no. I'm here for you, mate. That won't fly. I'm here for you, man. That's like when Morda and Scully kiss. It ruins the show.

You can't do that. It's like when Ross and Rachel got together ruins the show. If we start kissing and cuddling and being nice, that's the end of Cheap Show, isn't it? That was great what you did then. What? The references to the night. I love that.

I'm here for you, mate. So when the moonlighting couple kissed. Totally excellent. Maddie and Bruce Willis. 10 out of 10 for me. What a funny co-host he is, everybody. Oh, hang on. Hang on.

We're going to start this again. I'll get my phone going. Hang on. Hang on. What the fuck? Who is it? This is bullshit. Hang on.

What? Why has John Gunty got my phone number? John. I haven't heard from him for years No, he's useless He just You know what

If I don't answer it No no If I don't answer it now He'll just stop corn throughout the shows He always calls when we're not even doing food Don't I know Let me get it

Let me get it And then that way He doesn't try and cause all Fucking day I'll deal with it now Hang on here we go Hello John Yes

What do you want mate Oh hello there Yeah John Gunty there Hello John Gunty Hello Yes no we know it's John

Gunty All right just Why are you calling? We're trying to record an episode, mate. Hello, who am I talking to? Is that Paul? Yes, it's Paul. Eli has just popped out for no particular reason

for the next least one to two minutes. Right, because I know I've got my segment coming up. I haven't decided on the name yet. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What segment, mate? My food review segment. That's going to be in the cheap show going forward because I'm very excited, actually.

Excited to be working with you. All right, all right, all right. but can I just say this right now, before you go any further, you do not have a segment in the Cheap Show podcast, and you probably never will. What? I don't... Oh, uh...

Oh, I don't... Oh. Uh... I don't understand because I was under the impression that I'd been giving a segment of food review, strictly food review a bit. No, no, no, no. Who's...

Who said that to you? No. Eli wouldn't have... said that. I haven't said that. You know him? He can fuck off. He is not associated with this show anymore. I don't know what he's been telling you, but he's not involved in the podcast. Well, he told me that he was the executive producer of Cheap Show and that he had a 33 and a third percent state.

And that he was the manager of segments. That's why he said. He had official title. And he said, yes, John, you can have to 30 minutes, depending on running time. Food review segment And I was thinking maybe the name I'm gonna stop you there Because no you're not

He can't give you that And under no circumstances Will you be getting a segment That runs 30 to 40 fucking minutes On your shit food I'm sorry mate, no Well I was gonna do vionettas today I've got like all different vionettes

Did you know they used to be Considered very posh John John what you doing I know What are using the house phone Jane I'm gonna do it I'm doing so

to use the phone. Jane, I'm doing something very important now. No, you get off that food you're talking to do. I'm not talking to the Cheap Show, boys. You what? Talking to the Cheap Show boys, I'm doing my food review big. I don't like your talk to and do I'm doing. I'm not going to raise my voice with you again, Jane.

Jay, go back downstairs. I'm going to go cold. Oh God, I hate her mouth. Poh-ha-ha-ha. Anyway, I've got Vionettes melting here, Paul. I need to do this. No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not doing a segment in the show. I don't know what, I don't know, I don't understand why you don't get that. Well, I'm afraid you don't have that decision to make

because Richard Brandoff is the executive producer and head of segments at Cheap Show. He said, I could have a food review segment every week in return for letting him have a good rate. I don't rent on my house. My other house, my second house. Wait, you own houses? This is new. Development. Only two. I've got another property which I picked up

in the 80s. It doesn't matter what you two have agreed because he's not a part of cheap show and nor are you. So you can just fuck off,

all right? Oh, that's very disappointing to hear. Listen, Paul, I've got to go. I'll go on. I'll get back to you about this. I'm going to have

up your phone in your ass, like. Eli, come in here, come in here, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, come in. What?

Get this, Brandoff is going around telling characters they can have segments on our show in lieu of like payment for the fucking content house or something. Is that what he said to John Gunty? No, he basically is said to apparently John Gunty has a property and apparently, apparently Eli, he's allowed to have one of the properties now for Brandoff's content house in the segment. Content house is that in the fucking last week. No, we're not getting involved in this at all. You're going to have to speak to Brandoff. I'm going to have to. You know what?

I'm going to text him now. I'm going to let me tell you what. Let's go to the credits and then I'll text him during the music. all right. Oh, this is a sticky pickle, this one. Cheap show to a bottle. Oh dear, everyone. It's another cheap show

coming down your ear via the medium of sound. Audio gloopage down the earhole. Blopble, blah, blah, blah. No, I'm not going to do that. I promise myself I wouldn't giggle like a cunt this week. That's a shame. A lot of people do love it

when you giggle like a cunt. And it's especially spicy when you've made yourself giggle like a cunt because you're so self-satisfied with your wit. When I say the word wit, I mean like catastrophic brain failure to deliver anything of humour. Okay, Paul.

The knives are out, are they? I'm Eli, Sil. I've lost the rhythm. You've lost the rhythm. We get the rhythm going. Cheap show. Cheap show. The rhythm of Cheap show is not cheap show.

It's not. Cheap show. Cheap show. The rhythm of the cheap show. He's doing a little... Cheap show, cheap show, cheap show, cheap show, cheap show, cheap. I've started him off. Cheap show. Cheap show. He's up for it.

Cheap show, cheap show, cheap show, cheap show. Paul, usually at this point around this area of the pod. Around this area. We're in the fetid, the fecund mulch of the... Oh, mulch gave the game away. Oh, I'm not making any sense at all. No, you're not, but I'm going to let you carry on. You like it. You love it. You love it because I'm coming that into your level.

It's like giving a drunk driver car keys, isn't it, with you? What's out? Oh, that's only a fucking bin, though, as an old lady. Right. Real spit take, everybody. I got you, the old lady bit. It was just the way it came out your mouth, I don't know. Oh, I'm glad that works.

Jesus, you cannot deny that I'm funny now. You cannot. You cracked up, mate. Anyway, usually around this part... I feel dirty. Usually around this part of the podcast. Oh, I'm soaked. He literally, I've never seen a more natural spit-take in my whole life.

It's because I was going to choke on it, unless I gutted it all up. It's funny, funny as fun. I usually are. this round around this part of the podcast, I usually ask what have we got coming up on the show, Paul? But I can see multi-fibbage there. So I've got a little feeling. It's a little tingle, tingle on the bottom of the bullsack.

On the bottom, right on the bottom. It is, again, the most celebrated of segments of Cheat Show. It is the price of shite. All segment long. And we're playing that all episode long today. All segment, all episode. We have a tat craptacular to get through today. Okay, Paul.

So is it mano-mano? As in, we're getting to play again. against each other? Yeah, we can. I'm feeling confident because I just, I nipped it last time, didn't I? I've got that one between. Sometimes it's, sometimes it's like football, isn't it? One goal.

Yeah. And that's all it is. A second can change a match. Yeah. Here's the thing, though, with you, because you have such a worthless, bottomless life of abject disappointment. A worthless, bottomless life. Yeah.

How is it bottomless? How does that relate to the other words? It's in never. How does that relate to the other words around it? Worthless? Worthless. Worthless and that your life I find is worthless. And bottomless?

Bottomless is it. There are no depth to which you won't sink. Oh dear. Right? Yes. So in that case... I never get to the bottom. Yes, so in that instance,

I think I was quite apocite about that one. Thank you very much. I believe that bottomless... When you say bottomless... A person with no legs. No, well, there's that. But also, these days, that word is only used with brunches

where you get pissed up for something thing. Oh, I'm sorry, Tarquin. Did you not want to talk about brunch? Bottomless pizza. That's just when you get just some tomato sauce. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. If anything, you just get a ring of crust. Ring of crust.

Like, what you want, front or back? Back. Like me asshole. Oh, right. So that means we are playing the Price-O-Dashai so today. We are all week long, all day long, even, and that's what we're going to be doing. However, we are going to, oh, I want to mention this now. If you're interested in help them support Cheap Show at 500 episodes, at the 500th episode.

Okay, and this is the first time this is coming up. Yeah, keep your diaries free for August because... The whole of August. The whole, well, middle of August. We're going to. to be doing something a little bit different. It'll be a stream, and it'll also be a live show. It'll be a stream live show.

Now, details are still very, very sketchy right now, but that's the plan. So if you want to come and see us live, it's going to be middle of August. If you can't, hey, you might be able to watch it for wherever you are in the globe, live. Great. That's exciting news, Paul. I'm here for you. I'm here to support you in that. I don't want to hear this.

No more from you, Danny. I'll tell you what, I'll take you down. I'm going to take you all the way down. Down to my bottom-town. Down to fucking bone-smacking town. Oh, the hip tickler. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the noise. That's the noise. No, no, no. This is a noise. Oh, he's a cheap show. Cheap show. Right. That does work.

Yes, we're right fired up. Nice. It's got to flourish. I've got to be rigid and then sharp at the same time and I'm concentrating all this energy deep within my kind of inner core. Paul. Is there a letter that comes with this? Because we have a bespoke price of shite.

Am I not right? You are right. And I was just thinking, calm down, pace yourself. We'll get to it when I put the sound effect in. Well, you said the fucking thing. This is the thing I fucking said. And I'll carry on saying things. Words, thoughts.

I'll get a nice soup in my... You drink your piss. Go on, drink your boost. Apple and raspberry. Apple and raspberry piss. Drink it down. Go on. Glug, glug, glug.

Chugger man. Get it down, yeah. You're trying to make me... That was trying to. It's not going to happen, mate. I made you spit out the water. I want you to spray all over my neck and chest. You really did, like a pure fountain of water sprayed out.

Just because I said I'd run over an old lady. It wasn't just that it was the way it was like bid. Oh, no, old lady kind of thing. It was just like, it was the sudden pullback reveal of it all. You know what I mean? The classic pullback and reveal. Yeah, you like a good pullback and reveal, don't you? Yeah, I do.

Right. Yeah, we're ready to go. I think we are ready to go. I want to see some stuff. You know what I was thinking, Paul? I've got a lot of stuff. Paul, just before we move it. You know what I was thinking.

We had the right momentum going into that sound effect and now Eli has deflated it. Go on. I'm quite a materialist. I like stuff, don't I? We like stuff. We do like stuff. Brick of Bracknik.

But we like cheap stuff. But it's all material, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, I am living in a material world and I am a material girl. You know that we are living. It's funny how physicalities is being fetishized by the younger generations now,

as in vinyl. vinyl hit another record. Do you know that? Final hit another record sales. Yeah. Because everyone's fucking buying it. Yeah, but I kept telling it. I thought we had this discussion. It's because kids have been told to expect to spend a lot of money on nothing.

On zero. Yeah, yeah. Digital or nothing. And so they're going back and going, actually, I wouldn't mind owning things. Is that all right? Yeah. Even if it's like a fucking CD or a vinyl box set. Yes.

Can I have a thing that I own with money? Yeah. That's mine. Yeah. And I can break or I can, yeah. Now, you want to talk about the environment pressure and stuff and, you know, environmental issues on vinyl records and the vinyl records and the boost of that.

Well, the thing is, you know what prompted this thought, because I was seeing something about Taylor Swift, right? What she does, for every release, she puts out several different versions on vinyl. On different vinals, yeah. But cynically, just because she knows you've got these super fans who will just buy it for no reason. And that's when it becomes like waste.

That's what it does... A cynical waste, yeah. It's like when video games go, oh, okay, here's the game and it's 70 quid, but the deluxe package is 80, but the super deluxe is actually 100. But you can get the platinum edition, which comes with free codes and this and that.

And sometimes they've got little mini figurines whatever. It's exactly the same thing. It's pure marketing bullshit. To get money out of here. Right, well, thanks for that. Just, you know, pss... I did not...

Do your little clappy thing again. Cheap show. Hang on, hang on. Cheap show. Cheap show. Cheap show! Oh, that's fucking banging. It's the fucking price of shite.

It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. That's right. All right, that's right, dear boy. I can see two pens over there, Paul. Two pens. Because we have been provided with two pads.

We got 12. By the way, don't bolt the horse before it leads the stable. By the way. Yeah. Frotting, not docking. It's frotting. Oh, you read that as well. It's frotting.

It's rubby, ruby knob. Oh, no better for next time. So we can frot with those two are two pens. You could? I could get, I reckon I could stack three pens on top of mine. On top of your what? My foreskin. I could get, for, if a stretch.

Stretch it out of. I reckon I could get... All right, let's be serious. Maybe three Crayolas. I could probably get three. Yeah, right up the canvas sack. Right. Pass me the pen. Oh, you brought it up. I did not.

You brought it up. Here's what I'm going to do. Every time you bring up something I don't like, I'm going to be purposely as unfunny as possible to kill that idea. How will that be different? Let me just take the podcast episode. Oh, I've done that many a time. Okay, I see I feel.

Oh, a little peek behind the beef, stinky beef curtain. Right, we've got a box. And even though it is a small box, it holds many delights. I can see, it's not the smallest to me. For some reason, they've printed all this stuff out on stickers. Oh, cool. There's a whole strip of, like, Cheap Show stickers on the logo on. Yeah.

Yay. For some reason, they've just done that, and then there's another load of them. Hang on. Bear with me mother. There's an old Edmund sticker. I like that. I'll put picture on the website, as ever, details later. This is a sort of stencil style, monochromatic picture of it.

Look at them. Isn't that cool? There's a big Eli face and a big Paul face and a logo. Very good. Right, anyway, and then there's two scorecards. Give you those out in a minute, but here's the letter. And it comes from Mark. Thank you, Mark.

Dear Cheap Show, I'm glad you enjoyed the price of shite I sent you a little while ago, so I've prepared another more unusual one for you. Eli also appreciated the Soviet pins, so I dug out some more for him. Thank you. In this box, you'll find the pins and the super special edition, 22 and under Ali Express Price of Shite. And this is what he's calling it. The Super Special Edition, 22 and under,

Ali Express Price of Shite. Rules, Eli, there are rules. Okay, I'm ready to hear this. Just so people listening, who may not be a long-time listener, be aware, is that we have a point system, and they are called betwings. Points and betwings on this game.

So let's just say the price is £2,000, we guess two pound. What's going to happen? You get two betwiings for that, Paul. It's the highest amount of pit-per twigs you get in the basic rule system. in the basic rule system. But let's just say it was two pounds, but I guessed, for example, 175 or 225.

I was close, but not quite right. That whole 50p range ranging from 25p below the actual price up to 25p more than the actual price. If any guess that you make, Paul, falls within that range, you get one per twing. One per twing. Which is the least amount of per twing you can buy or get. Again, in the basic rule set system

that we have established for the last 10 years. Here we go. There are extra rules that Mark is giving us. That's what you've heavily implied. I had to at least set up the betwiings before I could potentially extend upon them with the following rules. Okay, let's hear the following rules then. Rule one, every item is under two pounds. Well, that's not a rule.

That's more of a sort of guide. I'm just reading it. I'm just reading it. Mark, you fucking lost me now. Guidelines, he could have said. He could have, but he didn't. Why? But let's just...

I mean, I like the pins and everything, but bloody out. Let's not waste any more time listening to Eli. I move on. Right, two. All items have been rounded up or down to the nearest multiple of 5 or 10p. For example, an 84P item will be rounded up to 85, whilst a £1 and £2 item will be rounded down to £1. But how do we get the two betwiings then?

No, whatever the final score is is what the score is. So what he's saying is... I know whatever the final score is it is the score is it. If the item was £1,2, pence, he's calling it a £1. So all we have to do is guess £1. And then we get the two between us, even though that wasn't the actual price. Wow. Mark has fallen for my graces and just two little bullet points so much.

It's all right, Mark, I won't give him the lovely pins. Oh, no, I want the pins, please. Because he's obviously on an ungrateful oink. Oink, yeah, you're an oink. Are you calling me a piggy? Yes, a pig-faced oink man. Right. And the last one.

You can decide how close you want the double between threshold to be. So if you say five p, either way, the right price. But I think we stay with... If they're all under two pounds, that seems absolutely fine. 25P works for that kind of price range, definitely. I guess. If we wanted to challenge, we could say 10p either way of the price. I don't want it a challenge. I wanted to beat you fair and square. Whereas I would like to cheat very much, so please.

Or at least give myself sporting odds. So what do you think? If we extend it, we get more betwiings. It's a higher between game. Yeah, I know. But it also feels like we're kind of like, you know... I think 25P... We're not pushing ourselves. Especially for that.

Did he say none of them were more than two pounds? All two pounds and all £1 and a round. under. Two pounds and under, so at least one of them is two pounds. The other rule, the other alternative rule that long-time listeners will know turns up these days is what we call the quids gambit. Yeah. There is a special thing where if the item is a quid and the quid's gambit is in place on top of the basic rule set, Paul. Then you would get double the on the nose points, which, as we know from just explaining it now is two betwiings.

You'd get double that, which would be four betwiings. Exactly. But that's outside of the basic rule set, though. It's bestrides. It's a mutation. Right, good luck trying to guess the prices because they're very little rhyme or reason to them. There's an awful lot of shit for you to price up.

I hope you enjoy the pins. And sorry about the format of this letter. I haven't got regular printer anymore as I'm too tight to buy one. Hence why they're on these little sticky things, prudity labels. So, with all that being said, anything you want to add. He was obviously mucking around with his printer.

That's why I've got all this stickers. Yeah, I like it. I'm a fan. Thank you. With that being said, Or we go to stick with 25P or 10p We didn't finalise that I think we should stick with 25P

Fine It's classic in it Next are we doing a quid gambit Yeah Alright because there's a lot of items So you can only use it You said we could do We can do

Yeah I guess So I think we should play The quid gambit is a fun rule But just so at a glance Look how many items they're up Oh my God So only one of those can be a quid's gambit So it's a bigger risk

Isn't it? You know what I mean It's like you got a lot Like if you had three items You can roll the dice A bit more can't you Yeah Oh my God how many items are there

I'm got one two three four five six 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 items. There's 24 things in that box. Is it the hardest? It all need little teeny tiny items, Sudia. Paul, that has to be a record for amount of items done in one episode on a Price of Shise, Price, a Shike game. That was almost a sentence. It was almost a sentence and I all got there in the end.

We all got there in the end. Now, all I'm going to do is, before we get into the game, I'm going to hunt out the pins. and we're going to do a little pin evaluation as is our want, all right, and then we'll get into the game. I'm all about them pins. Right, let's reveal the pins. Are they pins or are they badges? Pins. Or actually, they might be badges.

Well, we're going to find out. Pins, pins, pins, pins, pins, pins, pins, pins, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, badges, and pins. It's a new segment of the show called broaches, badges, badges, and pins. Bridge magnets. Because, oh, I'm bridge magnets. Bridge magnets. You'd hope a bridge wasn't held up with magnets. No.

Because they'd get weaker, don't they? A very powerful magnet, maybe would be enough. One big magnet. Electronic magnet. What, you know, those electromagnets? Oh, yes, that's right. They run a current for it, don't they? But then if the power got cut, terrible disaster.

Not a very good idea. I don't think it's a good idea to make a bridge out of magnets. Never make a bridge out of magnets or Lego or grass. Right, we got pictures, badges, brooches. Pidgeous, badges, brooches. Pigeons. Pigeons, badges, brooches. Hand me a badge. Come on.

Let's see. The big one, the big round one. Right. It's badge number one. These are badges from Mark. And I love you for it, Mark. Thank you. So there's six badges at all.

Lenticular alert. Lenticular alert. This is a lenticular badge, everyone. And it looks to be a football team or something. Yeah. But it's Russian. Again Russian. Yeah.

And it's going from four little boys' faces with caps on. Yeah. In one. And then there's a symbol, like an anchor double. anchor symbol. See if you can you agree with you. Oh yeah. I could try and lends it, right? Let me lens it. Well yeah. Yes, there's some words as well.

Be it in my finger! Jesus! Get it out! Get it out! It went right for the top of the skin. Ah! Right. Five Russian USR plastic vintches, well they're clown badges. They're not the same thing at all, but they're very similar. I'm just trying to see... They look like little boy faces.

Yeah, translate. So this thing on the top says, learn. Yeah, it's a school badge, isn't it? Yeah, it's probably a little. like a school badge. What does the thing on the bottom say? Swimming. Oh, it's a swimming badge.

Oh, nice little bit of detective work. Perhaps the anchors are to do with that. He's swimming, learning to be on a boat. Yeah, maybe. Anyway, that's a nice thing. I like a lenticular. I'm a fan of lenticular. You know that, Paul.

Next one is, I'll describe this one. It's a little logo of a place in Russia. Looks like a port. And then on the top of the badge, just attach with a little chain is what looks like a seagull or something. So here you go, Eli. This is a vintage and Amher

PIM badge featuring the monument of the scuttled ship in Cepestopol. Another, yes. Likely from the Soviet Union area. Another marine thing. The actual clasp is on the back of the bird. Yeah. It's hanging off the bird rather than the other way. And it's just says Syphastopol, yeah. It's like

a seagull, you're right, it's a white bird. That's really nice. Yeah, really nice vintage badge. Thank you. Very, very nice indeed. So this is a little badge for Volograd. Yeah, and it shows a little sort of monumental building, a bit like sort of... Like a castle or something there. And it's got little medal, a star medal

on the badge, which is interesting. It's like referencing another type of badge, basically. Because apparently, Volograd is known as the Hero City, a symbol of the city's heroic defence during the Second World War. It features the iconic Motherland Coles Monument, which is what that tower

thing is. It's quite brutalist, isn't it? It's quite modernist. It's quite sort of functional. Do you know what I mean? The building portrayed there, Paul. It's quite sort of stark, isn't it? Yeah, but you can see why. It's like, it's like, it's a bite, this is proud of where it comes from. Yes, but there's no ornamentation on it.

All right, here's the next one. I like the little green patterns to this. Are you going to take photos of all of these? Well, I will do later, but right now I'm just... Oh, that's lovely enameling on this. Lovely bit of enamel. Yeah. This is really nice.

Green and blue. It's sort of turquoisey almost, but translucenty, you know, like glassy. That's my favorite kind of enamel badge, by the way, that one. That's why my favorite Ghostbusters badge is the one that has the same effect on the logo. You can see the metal underneath the red. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one is a pin bag. badge for, and I don't know how you pronounce this one, so apologies.

But Lubim, City Pin, it's a coat of arms at the city, a Russian city badge. Yeah. I'm considered a, yeah, I can't, I don't know how you pronounce it, but it's a city in Russia. I'm trying to make out what that symbol is on the coat of arms. It's a horse carrying an axe. Ah, that's right. If you want to look at that picture. It is a horse carrying an axe.

Yeah. Weird. That's what they say, in it, about horses. They have big choppers. You know, because horses are well fucking on, mate. Yes. But also, now you've made me think about it again, Paul. About what?

smegma ball that that woman took out of a horse's cock. I mean, that is your memory. The waxy smegma ball that I saw once. You sound like, you made it sound like you haven't seen it twice. I only saw it was. Live changing it was. It was. I can't stop thinking about it. Next pin badge. Describe what you see and I'll give you the context.

This is a sort of shield shaped again, like a coast of arms badge. In two segments, both portraying mammalian characters. One looks like a horsey on top and a horsey on bottom. And there's all bird. I've seen that video. Shut up. Or birdies flying around horsey head. Two horsesies.

One cup. This is a vintage pin badge featuring the coat of arms for the Russian city of Buzzuluk. I'm not quite sure why you pronounce that. The top half depicts a running martin on a silver field. That's right. It's a Martin. I thought it was going to be like a little foxy thing. Representing the region's historical wealth of fair animals.

The bottom half shows a golden deer on a yellow field. I didn't get one of those animals, correct. Symbolizing beauty. No, I couldn't. I thought they were horses, but I didn't think that one was a horse's head. Horses. Shut up. Golden Deer on a yellow field symbolizing beauty, grandeur and life.

It is a collectible item of the city. And then the final one. Final badge. Final badge. Here we go. My favourite so far is the horse. This is my favourite one, even though it's not the most elaborate. I kind of like the, if you don't mind me using it and co-opting it, almost brutalist design.

But, you know. Is it a more, oh, I see what you mean. You see what I mean? It's very, what's the word, formal. it's very kind of utilitarian. Yeah, utilitarian. That is. I know what you mean.

It's lovely. I kind of like that well. S-Z-D or is it O-Z-S-D? No, it's definitely Z-D. S-Z-D. Yeah. It's sort of a navy enamel, Navy and silver. Navy-O-D-O-W-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-O-D-W!

Navy enamel! Wasn't worth it. Shame that. Very few things you say are. But, oh, I'll smack my bowl. Smegma bull cock, gudge. Gubbage. Gubbage. Gubbage. Gubbage comes up a lot with you, doesn't it? And you?

I'd never say garbage. You just said it then. I said it in response to your use of it. Yeah, you've said gubbage on your own. I never say garbage on my own. You have. You just sit at home, you just see it home, garbage, garbage, garbage in the dark. I never say garbage in the dark. You'll flat make sure. Fis you flat haunted. Right. That's brilliant, the S-ZD.

Nice blue colour. Lovely dark navy colour. Is it something to do with the navy? No, do me to tell you? It is a vintage pin badge. featuring the logo of the Slovak or Czech Railway Company. Excellent. The acronym S-ZD stands for, and again, apologies for the poor pronunciation. Sprava Zelenik AS, Railway Administration or Joint Stock Company.

It is a state organization that manages and operates the railway infrastructure of the Czech Republic. The logo design is an older variant used in the 1970s. Very much the era of Britainism. And there you go. I like that one. Can I have that one? You can have all the others, but can I have that one? Yeah.

There you go. Ah, you stuck that in my hand, you bastard. No, I didn't. You did that on purpose. I did not. I didn't. Ladies and gentlemen, what a bitter little nasty pill that was to swallow. Oh, I ask him for one thing.

I don't ask a lot for me, like. I barely want him around anyway. Shut up. And you're here we fucking are. Sticking Russian rusty pins in me. Just for that, I'm going to excor some fucking hate petwinks against you now. Yeah? I'm going to drink some water.

Why don't you say something fucking witty and I'll spit it out again? I can't. I can't do it now. I'm nearly died, Ben. Don't mess with Mother Nature, bro. You were show to death, everybody. Mucking around. Don't try and talk with the mouth full of water.

It's not big and it's not clever. You fucked around and found out almost. I did and I found out. I'm not doing that again. Fucking so funny. That is my funniest moment so far. Oh, well, well done you. At least I've done something funny.

Let the games begin. Right, we've both got our scorecards. It's quite daunting all those items there. There's not going to be a lot to talk about on some of these items, you can imagine. We'll just get a score down. Yeah. Some will be more interesting than others. Who's going to guess the first price of the first item out of the box?

I'll tell you what. Okay. Cesar's paper stone. Ready? Three, two, one. Reveal. Three, two, one. Scissors cuts paper.

It certainly does. So I get to decide and I want Eli to go first. Now, the answers are on this little envelope, and it's one of those, like, plastic envelopes that's glued-type. No one's messed with that. So you can see, because you would know if I got into this and tried to look at it. Yeah, no, that's a good job. He's done there. But to double, double protect these from any malfeasance.

Mochi Fibbage is here on standby, as ever to guard the points. Hello, Mucci. Oh, Gigi, Mucci, go. Hello, Mucci. I'll project the points for you. Thank you very. Thank you. I'm just going to sit you.

Are you doing all right, Mouci? Oh, yes. I've gripled the deviled. day and have grobble, did they? And tomorrow, I might even blobble. He loves a gribble and a bubble as well. You go over there anyway. No problem.

He likes a grible and a grobble. We'll make that work. So I'm just going to not go by the order on the sheet. I'm going to go by whatever I reach it and pull out. Well, that might be a problem. That might be a bit of a problem. It might be probabilatic. Proble attic.

It won't be probabilatic though, will it? It just won't be problematic. Hello, what's in my problematic? Stop being static. The whole thing's problem. Problematic. Problematic. Right.

If I just pull out and reach me, it'll be quicker. Otherwise, I'm scuffling around in the box. It's not going to be hard to pull something out and go, oh, right, what's that on the list? Is it? I could pull something out. No, you can't, mate. I can't, what?

You're saying it's not pull out. No, it's not. What you've got ain't enough to pull out. Look, come on. Just get something out of the box. It's a fluffy thing. Oh. Eli, what's this?

Let's have a look at our list. Oh, yeah. This is rabbit ears. Lamb is. Lamb is. It's a headband. Lamb is. Lamb ears headband.

Just that word. That sentence alone was weird to hear. Lamb head head, lamb ear headband. Look, I'm going to try and sport it. What do you do with it? I'm trying to see what it's officially called here. So we got, oh, kitty cat headband. Yeah, you wear it like that, I think.

You wear it vertically. I'm guessing. Yeah, I think you look good. Can I try it on? That must be it. It's a piece of sort of playful costuminging. Excellent. of your face.

You know what I look like? The sad ghost of Jacob Marley. You do, you look really sad. Stop touching your mic and talking, otherwise it's noisy. Okay, that's a good first item. It's a fun. First item. So basically, just to describe it to people.

It's just a headband with... It's a headband, but the ears don't work unless you wear it vertically. Do you see where the headband... Oh, actually. Oh, yeah. Oh, that works. That works.

That fucking works. It works. I see what they're going for now. I'll do another picture. I'll take it with me... Can I wear a... Can I wear a... it properly though as well.

That's much more fetching, isn't it? You look like a serial killer. Yeah, that's what I was going for. At the last thing, some fucking poor victim sees is you walking bare with that. Anyway, but how much Eli is the... I have to guess first. Is the earband?

Kitty cat headband. So I'm going to go... Yeah, you don't. No, yeah, you have to guess first, don't you? Remember everything... We don't have to tell each other our guesses even, do we? No, of course we do. We've always done that.

Why would you start making... It's weird because of this one. Also, it's not very good for the listener. To not know. know what we're doing. You know, think about them for a change. You want me to say it first then? Yeah, again, as we've always done it for 10 years.

No, but it's weird. I don't think we've exactly had this format before. Yeah, we have. Definitely. We're just doing it different because we've got a list already. Oh, I know, so stop fucking going on and just get your answers out. I'm trying to think. I don't think this is going to be much.

50p. Oh, okay. I was going to say 160. Okay, is that what you're going to put down? Yeah, I'm going with 160. We'll mark each other's cards, though. That's what we should do. Yeah, okay, that's fair.

Okay, so make it clear. Yeah. All right, next one, I'm going to get another fuzzy thing now. Two things. Well, it's a pair of socks. It's a pair of goose socks. Goose socks, everyone. Not much else to say.

They're just a pair of socks with goose on. I mean, they haven't got pictures of goose on, as if your foot was a goose. Yeah, it's like if your foot was going up the neck and the head of a goose and it filled it out. A sock. A puppet. That is a sock of a goose. Goose head socks. Oh, that's nice, isn't it?

I like that. You could do a puppet show. So they're just white socks with yellow beaks and look like a goose's head. Like that untitled goose game, goose. Now, Paul, did we decide, are we allowed to guess one pound only once during this whole list or multiple times, but only hit it once?

No, well, that's no, the Queen's Gambit is as you only can guess one pound once. Otherwise, it's not the Gambit, is it? Well, it's your guess first on these goose shots. You know, weirdly, I'm going to call this £1. I wanted to as well. I don't mean you can't. I'll go with you on this, Paul. All right.

I'm going to copy you. We are both playing our quid's gambit, but loads of them might be a quid, especially as he's rounding down and up. I know, I know. You know? You'll still get a double if you hit one, though, right? You just only get one double, I guess.

Oh, I see what you mean, yes. We could guess other items are a quid. No, no, we can't guess any more one-pound items. Other items might be one pound, but we can only play the quid's gambit once. Yeah, but that means we can't, if we think another item is a quid, we can't guess it's a quid. Well, even if we think it's a quid, Paul. You see what I mean? There's an inconsistency here.

Well, it's your fault. Look, we can just, let's say. It's only because there's so many items. It was three items. It wouldn't be an issue. Let me propose something here, okay? No. The quid's gambit is if any of the items, say that you guess that three items are a quid, yeah?

Yeah. And they all are. Yeah. You only get double bettweens for one of them. All right, fine. Do you see what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So that's my quid gambit for this.

Yes, okay. And if anything else comes up. And also the price is all over the place. So this could be one pound ten pens. We're both saying a quid there. Right. Right. So you're saying, now that we've both said quid's gambit there, we could guess another item is a quid.

But we could guess another item is a quid, but we're not get the quid's gambit. No. But if this wasn't a quid We wouldn't get the quid's gambit either No What I mean? We can only play the quid's gambit one Yes Okay I've played my quidgambit

It's easier to implement that When we don't have 25 items How many more items are there? 75 Honestly I think we've got 20 more to go We've got to pick this up Okay Because here's another pair of socks

Eli and look at these ones Another pair Fuck it now I like these ones These are cats bollock socks Yeah You're little cats on What's the top part of the sock

The bit that goes up your leg Yeah the shaft of the sock Has a, at the back, in fact, if your leg it would be, has a cat against the calves. These are terrible, man. These are novelty of the worst kind. They've got ginger cats on and they got bollocks on the cats. Yellow bollocks, which are little bubbly bits that have been attached to the socks. So 3D cats, bollocks and arseole.

Yeah. There's an arsonal in there as well. Oh yeah, nice little bit of cross stitch in that. Isn't it? Clever. Also, there's a 3D element. They are quite cleverly made. This episode could not be seven hours long.

But also the cat's tail on these socks, Paul, comes over the lip. It comes over the top. There's a little bit of tension to detail, isn't it? No, but you wouldn't wear these. I would. Are you going to wear them? I am going to wear them. I'm going to wear them.

I need to guess first. You are this time as well. See, those are going to be more than a quid. Because they've got the bollocks on. You always pay more for bollocks, I've noticed in general. Want to bump up the price? Add a pair of bollocks. Have you found it on the list?

Uh, cat bollick socks. Just below the kitty headband. I'm going to say £1.5. Just, it's my go to guess first. It's you take too long and I'm bored of you. Right, so there is no order to guessing. We just guess at the same time, like I said, at the beginning. I'm just bored.

I'm not going to play by these rules. If you're going to sit there and going, oh, oh, it's just, it's interminable, mate. Fucking hell. Do you want to know what I guess for that then? Nah, may as well tell us. You're a dick, one pound 50. You're a total dick. If you've added more on for the balls, took 25p a nut.

You said 105? Yeah. That's silly. Well, we'll see when the final scores are. We'll see who has the most betwe's at the end of the day. Yeah, we're going to next item. Your turn to guess first, and I'm going to undercut it and call you a boring cunt as well. Good.

What fucking item? Look, he soured it. He's taken this long, everybody, but he soured me. I can actually sour it further right now. How? This fucking thing. Epstein. Whoa.

It is a Jeffrey Epstein air freshener for your car. And it says on the photograph of Epstein that's depicted on this air freshener, this air freshener didn't hang itself. Do you know when you look at the world and you step back and you go, oh yeah, this is what a dystopia looks like. Fucking hell, that's crazy. That's just fucking. I kind of want to know what it smells like. We want to know what it smells like.

But also, I also don't want to know what it smells like, Paul. It doesn't smell too bad, to be fair. Yeah, it's a working air freshener. It just kind of smells soapy. Oh, yeah, very soapy. Yeah. Like a normal air freshener, I guess. There you go.

What's your guess on the price? Oh, I don't care. You're boring fatness. don't give a shit. Oh, God, you boring cunt. I'll tell you what I'm fucking guessing. Where is it?

I'm going to say 25p. Jeffrey Deadstein, Air Freshness. Oh, that makes it funnier. So fair enough. You're saying 25p? I'm going to say 25p. Reveal the Epstein Pride Seelight. 70p.

70p, you say. Next. Come on, come on. Get it out. We've got loads to go. We're not even halfway through these. I don't know what that is. Right.

This is made in China, and it is a little executive toy depicting a tightrope. A tight ropeist. A balancing act. A balancing act. That's right. It's a little...

You used to see a lot more of this, didn't you? On people's desks and things. Yeah, in the 80s and 90s, these things were festooned upon desks. This is a really cheap model. Oh yeah, I know it looks dirty. Like almost cracker quality cheap. Well, let's see if it works. I bet it does.

This is just called pendulum balance thing. Yeah, it's a little pendulum balance. Executive toy is what they used to call it. Executive toy. And there is. It's balancing. That sucks. It doesn't even look like it's...

It's back, I mean, there. You can't get rocking back and forth. What's all it needs to do? Yeah, it's got a little, oh, that's quite cool. It's a little action there. Yeah, Ricky Rocky, Tiki Tiki. It's very Ricky Rocky. Rucky Tiki Tiki.

It rocks back and forth. You should get some video that. No. Really, mate. You've seen one rocking back and forth executive toy. You've seen them all. One pound 60. Is that what your price in that has?

Yeah. Yeah, it's not a bad choice that. I'm going to go with ATP. I'm trying to be random with these prices and trying to get into, oh, because I believe, yeah, he did say he got them all from Allie, Express, so the price is going to be all over the fucking shop. He's having a real scrummage around in there.

Because it's loads a little bit. Here, just get this one out of the way. This is a toy crab, blue crab. It's quite nice. Small tiny. It's raising its claws. Pinsers up, open, ready to attack. That's quite nice.

It's just a little blue plastic crab. Who's guessing first next this time? I'll go first. Just got to find the thing on the list. Oh, wait. It says crab pen holder. Oh, yeah, it does. That's why the pincers are raised.

So you can get... Oh, that doesn't balance very well, does it? Oh, there you go. does the job. I don't know why you need it. I like that. Can I have this one? Yes, you can have that one. You can take home anything tonight you want, mate. Apart from that badge, which you insisted on having that. Yeah, it's good that. Right, so crab pen holder, 15p. There's no roof on this, no ceiling. So we don't know if there's a

parameter to go within. It's just everything's below two quid. Two quid or below. Yeah. That is a ceiling sort of thing. No, but it doesn't say a cumulative. Accumulative. That's very not that useful, is it at the end of the day. Not always, no. Sometimes we have a cumulative ceiling. Yeah. Everybody. Anyway, I said 15p for the crabs. Who is this crab?

Oh, it's right at the top. Okay. What are you saying? I'm going to say, Dean, I'm going to say 30p. Woof. Oof. Double you. Double me.

In that case. On we crack. The craptacular continues. Here we go. He's delving back into the box, everybody. What will be the next item on this price of shite? Extravaganda. It's an epic journey through the price of shite lands.

He's Frodo. I'm Bilbo. Is it Bilbo and Frodo? Delo and Friot. Dildo and... Go slow. Go slow. It's another animal.

It's another plastic animal. It's a fat crock. Oh, it's a big fat crock and he's... It's a little big fat crock. It's a big fat little croc and he is quite podgy. Yeah. You like the crab or that better? Crab.

Crab's got something to do. It's a bit weird. The arm's a little small, isn't it? It's a weird squat fat crock. I'm going to say 75p. I'm going to say like 30p. I'm going to go with that. You go in for my price for the crab hold penhol.

I am. I'm splitting the old difference. That is my lease over, underwhelming. most underwhelming item so far. It's just a fat crock. It's not that good a mould or paint job or... Come on, we're doing three items. This is a two-fer.

Two pin badges. Oh, more pit... We could do them separately, but here are two pin badges. Which one? The hungriest caterpillar. Not this exact one, a variation on it. Well, that's a communist caterpillar. I mean, so eat the rich, but that is nicked from the hungriest caterpillar.

Yeah, I've got one of them up there. Yeah, I've got one of them as well. We've both got one of them. But I don't have it. Where is it? Oh, yes. There it is. Yeah, that's like the normal.

and this is a rip-off, and the colouring's different, but the actual shape is nicked from that. Oh yeah, it's very reminiscent of the original design. If you don't know everybody, it was a very famous, very early, young child's book from the 80s or 70s later. Fuck knows, but let's just say 70s early 80s.

All the kids of a certain generation had it. And it was sort of like had little bits cut out of the page. Well, it had a hole all the way through. That's right. Because the caterpillar was eating through things. Different bits of fruit and the caterpillar would eat through. And there'd be a hole in the page, and you could see it was brilliant.

A real cult classic. But they've used this for a sort of socialist message. Eat the rich. I do say because I actually stand by it and believe it. So a communist caterpillar, job done. Next pin. This is a reference to something I'm sure it is. This says your did it.

That's wrong on purpose, you think? Yeah, it is wrong on purpose. It's like kid talk. It's like I has cheeseburger or something like that. Well, yeah, it is. I think it's a memey thing. It's a reference to something. Look up that meme.

I'm going to. Well, looking at it, it's like a star that a team. might give you or like a participation medal or something like that you know like you did it well done here's a star yeah it's obviously from something but like every link i've seen doesn't really have an origin for where it comes from but it's obviously some kind of online fucking meme that got out of hand oh no it's your did in not it really oh is it it is it it is it um and i've got my glasses on it we've both got our glasses on i quite like the look of it that kind of scrawled badly drawn like a child drew a star yeah it is it's like a child drew it anyway

I think those two came to one pound and five pence. Well, the AI overview says it's the star of David and represents the symbol of Jewish communities in the 17th century. No, it's not. That is not the star of David. I'm just proving your point that you can't trust AI. You fucking can't. Especially when it doesn't know something,

which is most of the fucking time. So two pins. Where does it say two pins? Well, no, it's one pin separate in it, but I'm trying to find the two pins. So socialist caterpillar pin is near the bottom. Oh, wow. Okay, they are two items.

You did it in one, right? Yeah, because otherwise it would be amazing. Okay, well I'm going to say socialist caterpillar pin. I'm saying 50p. I'm going to say 50p. And then what was the other one? Start, maybe he will. Oh, you did it start.

Here we go. You did it pin. Just below cat bollock socks. I'm going to say 55P. I'm going to say 45p. He's trying to mix it up everyone to get those huge. It's just Bing Bong, crazy prices. It's all about getting unique betwiings in this game.

So he's changed his price to try and get a more unique betwing. Right. I'm just trying to get all the... Come on more items quickly. We haven't even done half of these yet. It's a dice. It's a wooden dice. It's a wooden dodecahedro dice.

It's a wooden dodecahedro. Oh, it's like a story dice. I think it is a story dice. Okay, look, what's it got on it? Drama. Yeah. Oh, it's a genre dice. Oh, it's a genre dice, okay.

War, drama. Yeah. Thriller. Thriller. It's got a little illustrated... Oh, fuck. Dear. Those trotters are really hard to hold on to things.

Oh, God. See what I mean? You can't put your trotters, Eli. No. No, I'm not, Paul. And I'm ready. right? I'll say it again here, right here to you.

It might be honest. It's right. To take you on at a dexterity challenge. Now, I saw you a challenge when you tried to do that magic card trick and had very good dexterity with that I seem to remember. So I think what the gimmick is here, Paul, you sit down with your loved one maybe. Yeah. Or just you and a pet.

I'm not judging, right? Yeah. And you just sit there and, you think, what, you know, you've got that fucking, you're in that food state looking through Netflix or something. What I'm in the move for? I've seen it. I've seen it. This can decide for you.

Roll the dice. What are you watching tonight? Animation. Oh! But then you still got like thousand more choices to file off. I know. They're quite wide.

But thriller? Thriller? I like a thriller. I don't like a drama generally. So the only dice on here I can find says food dice, but that's not food. Well, maybe they got it wrong with it. Maybe Mark didn't look at the dice that we referred.

Yeah, maybe. Because I can't find. It must be the only dice, so it must be that. And I'm going to say that is 60P. I would have preferred a food dice. Yeah, like pizza, Italian. Yeah, burgers. Surf and Turf from McDonald's.

Yeah. Oh. Uh-huh. You could. Mm-hmm. Did you try, did you tell me you tried the one that has one chicken and one beef patte? No, that was a... Nick Helm said that.

Oh, Nick Helm told us. Yeah. When we were hobnobbing with the Helmsterting. Right, can we crack on? I need to get a price on this fucking dice. Well, if you weren't so fucking... Sh, your neighbour's home, isn't they? Isn't, well, yeah.

So don't, because they'll ask us whether we're in a... We need to work in our sentence. Now, come on. They'll ask us if we're all right in a very passive-aggressive way, frankly. She has an idea of what we get up to now, and I think she's just got acceptance. It's got a bit better. It doesn't mean she wants to hear it, but you see, understands what we're doing.

All right, thank God. It's just having rouse every Monday or Tuesday, yeah. You said 60p, I'm going to say, I'm going to say 80p. 80p and low, the gameth continues. How many have we got left? They've got fucking loads. I never thought I'd say this, Paul, but I've got item fatigue. Next one.

It's a keychain. It's a key chain. I've got one of these already. Yeah, of a fruit machine, a one-arm bandit. And it works. We had this before. Someone else sent us this. Someone else sent us.

This exact thing. Yeah. I've got it. I saw it today. It's hanging up. Yeah. I'll have this one as well. You can have both if you want, mate.

I'll have double. It's a lovely little key chain. Do you always score triple sevens? No. No, I've got cherry. I literally played it twice and then I had it to you. What is that? Grape.

It's a purple grape. Like a Welch's grape. Oh, lemon, lemon, watermelon. Lemon, lemon, watermelon. Did you fart again? No. You fucking did. I haven't.

What's happened it is? I've just sat back and let you just shout fruit down the microphone for a few minutes. Grape lemon watermelon. Great melon watermelon. Great melon watermelon. Lemon watermelon. Lemon, lemon, lemon. Water.

Belly, daughter. Fat. Thin. Rubbish. Bin. Sitting in a Gannon house. What's in a Gannon house? What's in a Garon house?

I'm chucking or two. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm bored. I'm going mad doing this. I'm going mad, I know. I'm just pulling out shit. I know.

I'm just trying to find that item on the list, mate. Fruit machine, isn't it? Fruit machine. What's it called? It's a keychain, it's a keychain. Fruit machine. I've got it.

Mini slot machine. It's not a slot machine. Mini slot machine key chain. Mark, Mark, Mark. And he called indications rules before as well. I know. Mark, you're falling out of favour. How much do you think that is?

I'm going to say $120. I'm going to say, 170. Because it has play action. It does feel, it feels like a better quality thing. It's a nice thing that, isn't it? It's a nice chrome finish. A working order. Come on, quick, quick, quick. He's handed me, this is a shovel. It's just a little

tiny shovel. It's a model shovel. It's a shovel teaspoon, it says, on the sticker. Oh. But the problem is, you used it as a teaspoon. It would probably leached heavy metals into your fucking tea. It doesn't feel like you should be preparing food with something like that. Leaving a rusted

bit of foil. No, it's melted coin. Smell it. That is just not something that you'd want to put in your food. No. It'll fucking start electrolyting your fucking tea bag. Can you smell it? It smells like two peas away. Yeah. It's like someone's rubbed two coins together.

What can you do? Shovel sugar with it. Well, I can just put it on the wall, kind of. I'm going to say 40p. Really? Here's another one. Since we're on a spoon trip. Yeah, I just noticed there's a cat teaspoon.

It's a little bronze. It's a little bronze-quality metal. Bronze-affected teaspoon with a little cat with his little paws. No one even wants to know what I think. price was on that shovel, do it? I thought you said it didn't say nothing. What did you say? What did you say? I haven't said it yet. I'm thinking about it. 60p. This is a cat. Bronze effect. There is some engraving in it. Stainless steel 304. Oh, that's good. Little cat. That doesn't say stainless steel on the shovel, does it? Because it's not. What I like about this is, even though it's a tiny spoon, teeny tiny spoon, the cat arms mean you can probably rest it on the cup or something or on the sugar bowl. That's weird. It can, or that with those are four because they're, I am presuming. They're pushed.

forward the little pores of the oh that's nicer isn't it it's a much nice thing in the shovel that's a little sugar spoon i wouldn't even call that teaspoon no that's a smaller it's about half the size it's probably like a salt spoon it's a little sugar spoon or one of those spoons that you buy in a fucking spanish destination that you put on a rack no it's a sugar spoon because you put it that's meant to sit on the sugar bowl yeah which that's definitely right yeah which that's definitely right yeah what i think i believe you said salt spoon you said salt spoon just then one of it's no such thing as i was describing it to you i said it could go in the sugar bowl and it rests on the side yeah i know you got that yes just say it was right first time I will never. Anyway. Cat teaspoon right near the top. Yeah, again, not a teaspoon mark, so... Well, anyway. What smaller than a teaspoon? Is there anything?

A sugar spoon? I bet they're... Ask Google. No, I like this. Okay, Google, what types of spoons are there? Well, I won't be reading that. That's too many spoons. Too many spoons.

Right, so cat teaspoon, what do you say? I'm going to say £1.50. Oh, interesting. I was going to say about the pound range as well. I'm going to say £1.20. I'm going to say £2. I'm going to say £2. I'm saying two pounds.

Off. Okay? Yeah. Next item, please. It's a spinning top. It's a little spinning top. It's a rainbow metal, iridescent. I like that.

Iridescence. I love that word. That look you get when like you see oil on the ground is like a little bit of that. Rainbow oil slick. Yeah. That works as a top. It's a lovely top. I'm spinning it now.

It's spinning by the crab pen holder and the pet is going, oh. Oye. Oie, get out of it. I've got a pencil holder here. He's going, aye, clicky clacky. I'm clacky Norman. And I'm clucky Norman. The crab.

I'm just nicking it off Monty Python. Oh, old Polans I have an original like here! We didn't get clack from this week. Do you know where I got clacky Norma from? No. Cray Brothers parody they do.

Spiky Norman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spiney Norman is the... That's off the album, right? No, they did it on... They've done it on TV and the album. I think the album's funnier. The best version.

It's the one where he goes, The Chinese watch. Everybody's on the phone. Mother. Stum. Stum. It's Palin. It's brilliant. It is.

Right. How much do you think the spinning top is, Mr. Silverman? Ah, it's a quality thing. It's got some weight to it. I'm going to go with a pound. I don't know why. You're saying a pound on the nose again? I don't know why, but I am. Does the job, it's a top. It's a good top, that. It's a lovely little top.

I'm going to say 75p. Fair enough. 75p. Ritaly. Where is it? Near the top. Oh, look. Look.

It's deleted footage from Inception. Oh. Is it a dream? Is this a dream? It's a cheap show a dream. that would be a shit dream. What a shit dream. Imagine if that film was about...

I'm remembering that dream where you were coming at me naked again now and you had it all spongy dick. It wasn't a dream. Was there a spinning top in it? No. That's the question, isn't it?

So I'm saying 75P. You said a quid again. And here's another quick one. But if that is a quid, you don't get the extra two between us. No. Have you indicated on your list where you put the QD?

Yes. You can see it. I can't see it. Cooge me cheating because I've only written it once. Okay, good. Here's the next thing. It's a fake nose.

But not only is it a fake plastic nose. It's a pencil sharpener. It's a pencil sharpener. Schnaffener. Schnaff. I don't say that. Snobf. Novelty pencil sharpener.

You stick the pencil up the nose. That's the joke. Great. That's not bad. I'm going to take it to work because we've got all the pencils at work, but no sharpener. So there's just like a hundred fucking dull pencils scattered around the office. Yeah. You're saving the BBC money.

I am. Right. Knows. Plastic sharpener. I think it's right near the bottom. Yes, it is. Nose pencil sharpner It's like 30p

I'm gonna say 40p Right We've still got 322 more items To get through We're right We've only got a few I've only got about five

We've powered through This is a Are we great Do that hand Debt Cheap show Cheap Cheap

Cheap Cheap Cheap Cheap Cheap Cheap Show Cheap

Wow Paul stop Stop Stop Cheap Cheep show There's the noise of his mouth. He's really tired himself out.

Right. Come on, with this stuff you doing it. Come on. The wheel keeps on turning. All right, here we go. What's the next item pull out of the box? Did I put this back or is there two? There's two.

Well, we can both have one. Yeah, we'll both have a spoon. But there's a... I'm gone, wait, there's a problem now. We haven't priced it for two. He doesn't say there's two. He doesn't pluralise. Doesn't say that, does it?

Just says teaspoon. Maybe there was two in the bag or something. We'll see. Oh no, it does say shovel teaspoons. Okay. I'm going to stay with the price, though, because what did I say? I said 40p.

I'm going to stick by it, because fucking look at the quality of them. They're terrible. They're thin as fuck. It was just snapping half. Yeah. I wouldn't advise making tea with them. This one first.

He's had his me. It is a cat, a dog. Yeah. A pug, in fact, isn't it? It's a little pug face. A little pug face dog. What is it? It's a door stop.

It's a door stop. It's a little plastic. I could actually do with that. Again, you can take how Anything you win today You take out with you, darling I can actually do that Because I've been using trainers

To hold up my door Whilst I put ambient music on And go to the loo or take a shower Yeah, good Too much info there When you buy one of those shower speakers Where you could have the phone In your room still press play

And then Bluetooth it to the speaker in the bathroom I want that Well there you go You can get those in charity shops And you? Yeah, I saw one of the day It's basically just a waterproof speaker

Do you know when I did my price of shite That I grabbed For an episode Because I bought them I was going to buy one of those and then I went out at the shop, went to the next one, went, oh, I'll get that then. Went back, speaker was bought in that fucking five-minute window.

Someone had chipped in and got it. But anyway... They must be quite desirable. I've never seen one. No. Well, they definitely exist, and I've seen loads in charity shops. So what are we doing? Have I gotten any...

Get them up around here because of all the old people... Oh, yeah. How much is doorstop? I think it's going to be a little bit more pricey because of his plastic. I'm saying £1.80. I'm going to say £140. Is it a pug? Is it a pug?

I don't... I mean, it is a... It's a generic dog. And a dog. It's a generic dog dog. I need to go to the loop. I actually need to go to the loop. No, one poos until this shows over.

Oh, my God. Right. What did I say? One pound 80. There's only three items left, four or five items. Oh, it's the sponge bob... Is it broken? Well, this is why I don't understand.

It is the bottom half of SpongeBob Square pants. It's a shoulder. Phone holder? Hang on. Sponcholder. Oh, you put a sponge in. And then the sponge forms of body. Oh, you're right. It is a sponge holder.

You actually get a real... Didn't they send a sponge with it? Spongedobb sponge holder, yeah. You can put it in your bathroom and just stick a sponge in. Or in your kitchen? Oh yeah. Because it's got a drainage at the bottom. It's too flimsy.

It's just going to... It's quite clever though, isn't it? It's like, here's the bottom of sponge and you can put a sponge on the top to complete as body. I know, but it's all going to be just... No, it's a load of shit. It's plasticy shit. It's not going to work in the kitchen scenario.

No. It won't last two seconds. No. That's terrible. What price would you say for that? I honestly think that's probably more expensive because of the IP. Now I might be wrong, but I'm going to go like 160 with that. It's not badly made.

It's a novelty item. Well, I found it in the box. The legs and the arms had fallen off. I put them back in. And like, there's no real strong glow. It's nothing. It's crap, isn't it? But I think it's going to be a bit more costly just because it's SpongeBob.

So I'm saying 160. I'm going to say one two five for SpongeBob. Next. Look at this. It's a backscratcher. A telescopic backscratcher? Yeah. With a kind of terminated hand on it.

It does have a robo hat. I have actually got an itch right now on my shoulder. Let me see if I can get to it. Here we go. It looks flimsy. He's liking it. He's liking it. Is there good scratches?

Yeah. You did have a scratch on your shoulder. I did. And that's done the job. Proper good. I hate having an itch personally. It's an extended like selfie stick with a metal hand on the end. But it is a back scratcher, isn't it? Yeah.

And it's quite an effective one. You didn't have it fully extended. Didn't need to. Didn't need to. I don't have an itchy back at the moment, but I think you should still give it a go. See, you think you need to it from the other way. Oh, yeah. Ah.

Does the job. That middle finger really gets it. Oh, that really is good. I'm getting itchy now. Now that I start scratching, you get itchy, don't you? But I think that's like a psychological thing where it's like you're trying to chase that sensation around your body. My only worry is it, again, it looks like cheap metal. And if you had an abrasion, you wouldn't get that in.

Do you know? It's novelty, isn't it? Yeah. It's not bad. It does what it does. It is what it is. But how much is it? I'm going to say this is like, this might be two pound.

We're definitely thinking. I'm definitely thinking along those lines, Paul. I'm going to go two pound. I'm going to go two pound as well. Oh, that's my second two pound guess as well. Yeah, but there's no two pound gambit, is there? No, well, but Mark did mention they are two pound and under, which makes you think some of them might be two pound.

Here's the last one for this segment. Oh my God, aren't we done yet? No, we got, I get 50 more things, mate. Come on. It is the next item, as Eli writes that down. This next item is a 3D printed horned snake kind of thing. It's quite nicely made. Yes, that is nice.

And it's, again, another iridescent sort of greeny, bluey, iridescent, changing color. Snaky, snakey, woo. That's quite a good 3D print, isn't it really? Yeah, it's all right. It feels quite nice, even though it's spiky. It's definitely an industrial 3D printer that did that, not like one of these home ones. But even they're really good these days. So, you know.

It depends on how good you are. You can't see a lot of the marks on this. No. It's very well done. But I think the design kind of hides those sins. I guess. But you're telling me this was one piece, solid piece of plastic. No.

It's not how these are made. It's like a printer. This nozzle comes down. It builds up levels. Well, it will do flat. It would be across the bottom building up. Like that? Yeah, that's how it'll build it.

Crazy. But then to get this movement in it. Yeah. And without... But that's how it's all designed. That's what I'm saying. They're only as good as the person who owns ones design. Well, here's the thing.

How much is that snake? Because even though you make silly little snakes with it, you know, you can do wonderful things with 3D printers. But snakey, I'm going to go, that's got to be a bit costly, right? That looks like a 180 kind of thing. I'm saying 170. One, 70 for Eli, 180 for Pauli Woo.

Right, and now we are in the final stretch. Let's crack on for our final craptacular items. And here's the next one. Oh. Right, I don't know what this does, but it is a bottle opener. Is it, though? How is it? You see what I'm saying?

Like, yes, you look at you go, bottle opener. But, like, it's basically... It's a piece of metal that looks like the ace of clubs with a hole in the middle, shaped like the club. But it doesn't look like you can get a bottle in it. You could. Can I just borrow it a second? Not that this is a bottle opener, but I'm just wondering if...

Maybe, yeah, maybe. It does. It definitely is a beer bottle over. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I reckon you could get away of it. Now, the funny thing about this, Paul, is if you know about playing cards, that's not what the ace of clubs looks like. It's upside down. No, it's like a big one. It's like a big one.

Oh, yeah, but then the conceit of the whole can-opener-thing-opener-thing. It only works with a club. Do you know what I'm getting at, though? You don't see Ace of Spades with a big spade like that. You get a big spade, all the other ones, just regular size. Oh, the Spade, yeah, not clubs. No, no, but clubs, all the other ones are just small in the middle, are they? Just a small in the middle, yeah.

Wonder why that is, because the Ace of Spades is the most important card. It's a convention, yeah, with the Ace of Spades. It's one of those conventions. It's not alright out. It's all right out for what it is. Stick it in your wallet, bish-bosh, bash, out the pub, bottle out, cliff, cloth, big long. In a pub, they've got plenty of bottle open.

No, but let's just say you went to a pub and they forgot to open it for you. And so you go, don't worry, I've got one in my pocket. Just thinking of all the alternatives, you know, thinking out all the options. That's not a... All right, you're in the park with. friends and they've bought bottles. There you go. And then Catherine went, hey, I forgot the bottle opener again. No, that's not realistic because I wouldn't invite Catherine because she has terrible views. Yeah, we don't

speak to Catherine no more. Right. Not since the rally. Right, anyway, God. I'm going to nudge him to get it well political everyone. Right. Playing card bottle opener. Where is it? 80p says Gannon. I'm going to say a quid for that. All right. Next item. I just want this. It's the yes, no coin. It's a coin with a Yes on one side and no on the other for making decisions. It's in a little plastic carrying case, is that right? Which I like.

Because one of the things is... Can they get it out? Yeah. I like challenge coins and coins in general. But like they're hard to kind of display. Pim badges, I can stick him on here. But like... What can I do with the coin?

Just stack him on top? I don't know. What do you mean? I'm just saying it's like it's hard to present coins that it is pin badges for me. Oh, as in to display. Yes. Because there's loads of really good Ghostbusters challenge coins I'd love to have. What's a challenge coin?

Big coin, usually made for charities or in some cases. like organisations or the army give out challenge coins to troops They're like badges They're in a similar realm to badges Ish, you know, they represent There's something for you to represent Something you're proud of or you like

A little, yes, yeah Finally you say that because in the world of booze And alcohol, all the big booze brands Have Special Edition coins that they give to bartenders or people they work with And they're really hard to get hold of Unless you're in that, do you see what I mean? I'm not really listening because I'm going to cover this out.

Go on, let's finish your story So it's easy for me to close the head out Coins. Yeah. All right. Boo's companies. Good. Coins.

Here's something more interesting, though, Eli. He's like fucking evil. It's not like a supervillain. No, no. I wanted to look up challenge coins because, yeah, you're right.

They're for like custom-made coins that symbolise membership or affiliations or whatever. But do you know where it comes from? This is what they found interesting just by looking this up. Now, it's debate about the true origin, but they believe that it became a tradition

during World War I when a pilot would crash land somewhere and they'd use the coins in their pockets to prove where they came from. Right. So it would be like, oh, I'm English, look, Frenchman. So it's a symbol of their nationality sort of thing. And you could exchange it or whatever, it became a thing. And also it's for Moralesque challenge coins.

Well, this as well, though, is not a challenge coin. This is simply a coin that is for playing heads and tails with. Because it's simplified that to a binary of yes and no. Because sometimes you get a coin and you think heads or tails, and you flip it and you go, is that heads or tails? Because sometimes they don't have a head on one side. No. And there's never been a tail on one.

Why was it used to be called tails? We've talked about this in the past. Because it was an animal that used to be on the back, maybe. I can't remember. Yeah, the king or the monarch's head on one side. But I think either way, I was going to try it now. Should Cheap Show continue after this week's episode? Yes.

The coin says so. Everyone had baited breath there for a second. I like that anyway. How much do you think the coin is? No, it's a nice item, like the item. Like the item, Paul. And I'm going to say, Oh, I'm going to say one pound 60.

There he is. I'm going to go ahead. Where is it on the fucking thing? I'm going to say £1.20. It's just up from the middle of the list. I'm saying 160. I'm 120. Right, next item.

It's this. It's the magic cube. It is like a kind of Rubik's magic type thing. Oh, cool. Where he opened it up and it's like... It's jet black. It's jet black. And it's like a load of blocks that interlink.

And like Rubik's magic. It's not a puzzle. No. It's just an ever changing shape. block thing. Is it like a fidget toy? Yeah, it's basically a fidget toy. It is.

Oh, God, it's got quite a nice weight to it. Yeah, and you can shape it into blocks and other blocks. All it can form is a long... rectangle. That's it, or a square. Or a cube. It's just a fiddle thing, isn't it? Exactly two shapes.

Yeah, it's just a fiddle thing. Hang on. Oh, no, that's another shape. An L. I like the fact that they call it infinity cube, but only it's like one cube. Poor. An L. There you go.

It's like a Tetris. It's like a Tetris. It's like a tetran. Yeah. I mean, it's nice. I like it. I like it. I'm going to say this might be like £192.

Well, you're going to say $190 or £2? 190. That is the crazy cube, $190. I need to guess my price. Thank you. This is going to take forever. $190.19. I've run out of steam here, man.

Mate, we've had like 80,000 items to get through. It's only fair. Is this last item now? No, we've got two more. Fuck it out. Right. The penultimate item is in this box. see, like.

Oh, yeah. What it is, though. Oh, yeah. It is, though, isn't it? This is definitely something that comes out and stings you or something, because he handed it to me. You are a bad actor, aren't you? The thing is, it says on the list what it is. You shouldn't have said that.

Yeah, I also saw that. I didn't hand this to you thinking it was going to surprise you. I just said, literally, the last item was in the box. It was the way you said, it's in the box. Well, it is, though, isn't it? It could just hand to me this and said, this is the item. Yeah, but the items's in the box. It's going to hurt.

Is it going to hurt? No. It's not. It's not, it's just, exactly, just open the lid. I'm scared to. It's fine, it's just a little box. It's just a little box. It's a little box with a sliding door on the top and a little knobble to put it back.

The spider's going to come out. It's just going to pull it back fast, that's all. Do it. I'm not going, he's opening the box. Just pull it, slide it out. No, it will hurt me. It won't, it definitely won't hurt you. Oh my God, baby.

Pull it. Spider jumps out. A grubbly spider came out. A big bubbly spider. Oh, that's like an old school joke shop toy. It is. Yeah, it is. I like it.

Oh, you give it. to someone who's like old. And you kill them. And you just killed them. Yeah. Happy April Phil's Day. If you had an arachnaphob really wouldn't like that, would they?

It's very cheaply made. Very cheaply made. Bolterwood. I'm going to go ahead and say 150 because it looks like it's one of those prices. Spiney box, 150. I'm going to say 115. Right.

And now the finalisation. This is the one I think is the fucking best. It's this fucking little thing. A little gun. It's a little gun keychain that fires elastic. bands but look at it it's got a chinese dragon on and transforms so you pull down the hilt and then i guess you stick the elastic band at the front he's going to shoot me he's going to shoot me with the

nice band on the thing at the back he's hooking it up he's loaded i'm not going to fire it out of you promise i'm not ridiculous but it's loaded the elastic band's loaded you see i see i've pulled the hilt down the trigger's there and then i'm going to fire it at the wind mirror ready nice go i ever go that is lovely isn't it i like that's really excellent that is a Proper novelty thing, isn't it? Yeah. How does it... Oh, it goes...

So you fasten it over the front of the barrel of the gun and then pull it back to the kind of weird gear cog thing near the handle. This is so cool. It's just a little, like... What's kind of another executive toy? This little thing here, this little knob is you all at the top of the guy. The site.

The site, yes, that's it. And then hang it over the hook. What hook? The thing at the back, the kind of cog wheel thing. The cog wheel, there is. There you go. And then aim and fire. Boing!

Oh, that's excellent. How many bands does it come with? Well, it came a fucking load, didn't it? Fucking cool. Loads of these little mini-plazzy bands. Shoot it at my arm, see if it hurts. You sure? Yeah, it definitely will not hurt.

Just shoot it at the underside of my arm there. I'm aiming the gun. Now, ladies me, if you're listening at home, do not do this at home. We are trade professionals. I've got specs on as well. Eli's got its protective eye were. So we're all good.

Come on. Shoot me. I can take it. Here we go. Three, two, one. Yeah, it doesn't even sting. I could feel it, but it didn't even sting. Oh, that is such a cool thing.

It's a little executive toy. You could do, you could set. Up sort of pins or something's targets. Yeah, you could. You could do a challenge with that where you've got little targets that you nods over. He's dropped a rubber band on the floor, everybody. It kind of disappeared out of my hand like an illusion.

Right, who goes to guess the price of that? That's gone out the window ages ago, mate. Just guess if you want. I want to aim up the bottle and see if it makes a sound. I want to hear it. Okay. At close range, do it at close range. I want to hear it between.

This is not going to be worth it, but you've got the mic in position now. Ting, ding. Nice. Oh, I'm not worth it. Still fun. Now, what a lot of fun. It's the only thing, rubber band gun. I'm going to say two.

I'm going to say two quid. Honestly, it's got to be up. I'm going to say 190 just for the hell of it. I'm going to say two. 190. Right, we can fucking stop now because now it's time for results. Yay.

Also, it's going to be like your revision where it takes fucking forever to see all the acts and the voting is interminable. No, we'll go quick on this. We'll do this. We're doing each other's call to all cards. Cheap show Cheap show Right, we're gonna do

That, it's the scores Everyone scores Mouchi Come over here Oh, give you The pieces points Paulie Wu And it's just for you

Oh thank you What you're doing tonight Anyway Oh I'm just gonna globble down By the flog flogs Oh he loves to globblown by the flogs He fucking loves the flog flogs Can I get you a grobbling

Or a tanker of grubble Oh I'd love that I'll see you later I like this I like how this is developing. He's opening the scores now, everyone. I'm tearing open. Lovely plastic envelope.

Here we go. There they are. There they are. There they are. There's nothing else in there is that. No. No. No.

There they are. Right. So the scoring begins. Let's get through this. Let's get through this because everyone wants to go home. Now we're going to start with the tab pen holder. Right.

You said... Go on. 15p. I said. 30p. The score was... Oh, we're in trouble. This is £1.30.

Fucking hell. Nothing there. Wow. Nothing there. Nothing there. Oh my God. That is not one. If we get no betwiens, if both of us get zero betweens, it'll be the most shameful day of all time.

It will be. It'll be a dark day in cheap show history. But again, Ali Express stuff is just like... Is it randomly priced? It's like pissing in the wind, then it is. It's random me price. Did you look at that and go, oh, that's definitely worth £1.30? No.

No. Right. Next item is the... The cat teaspoon. You said £1.20? You said £2. I said £2. The answer is 90p.

No one gets in a thing there either. Next on the list, the very cursed Geoffrey Deadstein Air Fresner. Right. You said 25p. I said 70p. The answer is £1.15. No betwiings there either. Next on the list.

Back scratcher. Back scratcher. You said two quick. I said... Two quid. We both said two quid. Answer, a £1.20. This is not going well today.

It's a whole row of donuts. It's like a fucking... Donuts shop. Yeah, it's like bed and jerrys. No, it's like Duncan's place, isn't it? Dunkin's, yeah. Got there in the end. We're like two cups looking for donuts.

Right, next item is the kitty cat headband. You said 50p. And you said £1.60. This was our first item today. And the answer is 80p. What did I say? 50. Oh, just outside.

And what did I say, 120? 160. Oh, I'm well out then. All right, Christ. Another zero from both of us. This is probably the worst ending to any of our price of shites, isn't it? Right, next item is what? It's the cat bollock sock.

Bullock, bollock. Sandra bollock. Cat bullock. Cat Balloo. Is that someone? That is someone, isn't it? might be, but we're not going to get into the weeds of that. Oh, we're not getting into the weeds with that.

Cat Bollock socks. You said £1.50. And you said £1.05. Oh, well, Eli's getting it between. Oh, come on. 60. He gets A between the being just out. Lovely.

Love it. I'm on the board, everyone. This is looking good. It's looking up. Well, at least someone's made a move. Paul is still on solid donuts all the way down. Right. You did it, PIN.

He still can't work out what the fuck that came from. It's some kind of meme. Comment. Meme pin. You said 55P. What did I say? You said 45P. Well, it was a pound.

So there we go with that. Spinning top. Oh, this is a nightmare. Spinning top, Mr. Silverman. You said one pound. You said 75p. The answer is £1.40. Fucking hell.

These are really hard to price because there is no, there's no logic to it. all just off a website, isn't it? Yeah. Right. Bronze, yes, and yeah, we're done the top. Bronze, yes and no coin. You said one pound 20.

You said... Let's see. Let's see. I think that says 60. I'll tell you. Yeah. 160, yeah. The answer was... 180. Oh, I got another between there.

Do you? Yep. Hey. You don't. I get to that 160, 180. Oh, I'm running away with it here, mate. All right. Next, shovel teaspoons.

You said 40p. Yeah. And you said 60p. Yeah. 70 p's the answer. Another between for me. 40, 70, you don't quite get between there, Paul. I've always been out by like 10p either way.

You're 5p outside the fucking one-per-twing band for there. I know, it's madness. You're still on, can I remind you, Paul? Yeah. Zero between. I know. How many do I have? You have three.

I've got three. All right. Right. Minie slot machine. How much did you say? I said two. didn't I or something. No, read mine out.

You said £1.20. All right. And you said £1.80. And it's £1.40. Oh, you get perjuring. Hey. Hey. You get one between.

There you go. You're on the board. Well done. No donuts for Paul. That's the important thing. Yeah, not a solid donut run for Paul. All right. That's all right, then.

Playing card bottle opener. You said 80p. Uh, you said... Inaccurate playing card. One pound. The answer is... 90p, betwings for all. Oh, forget between there, don't me?

That's nice. Oh, that's nice. See? Four two. Next one. Goosehead socks. Goose head socks. Goose head socks. Goose head socks.

Goose head socks. You know that could be? You know what that goose head socks could be? Like some kind of trendy oat milk company. Yeah. Now, why is it called goose head socks? Just because it's trendy, isn't it? It's just because it's a little bit more out the beaten track, kind of out the box thinking, blue sky.

Out the beaten sky, blue box thinking, isn't it? Just spitballing. Blue Sky Barth. Here we go. Right. So, that's talk about mouth nonsense.

Goosehead socks. You said quid's gambit on that one pound. You said quid's gambit on that. It'd be amazing if it was. It was one pound ten pence. Oh. So we both get a between.

So no one's going home upset with that result. It's a galore all of a sudden. It's all right. So you've got five. I've got three, yeah? That's right. I'm just happy I don't fucking shit the bed.

I know. You totally haven't shut the bed. No, it's a moral victory for me. point. Right, next one is the Spidey box. Spidey box. So when I saw that on the list. Spidey box. I thought that because that's Spidey isn't it? Spider-Man. I was expecting Spider-Man to come out at the box,

not just a rubber spider. Right. You said £1.15 for the Spidey box. And you said £1.50. 50? 50. The answer is £1.65. So it's another between. No between for me though there. No. 115? Oh no. No. No. How much was it? 165. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right. I said 115 there, did I?

You did indeed. You get between there? Yeah. For the Spidey Box. Yeah. You're on four. Yeah. Four versus five.

Oh, my God. It's getting tighter than a non-st-chuff. He's going to take me. We don't know. Spidey Box. That's that. Next one on the list, we have the food dice. Except it wasn't a food dice.

It was a genre dice. Yeah. Genre dice. Right, you said 80p. What did I say? 60p. The answer is 170. Nowhere near.

The cheapest things. Did I say? No, I said one. Let me see that. Food dice, zero 80p. Don't fuck, I'm not lying, you could check your own scores. I just want to check. And I've double checked that it's in the right column.

I have, I promise you. Food dice. Yeah, I did say 80p. Thank you. I'm not in the mood to fuck with you at this stage, all right? It is a thrilling result so far. Neither of us there. Right, so SpongeBob's Spongeholder.

I'm looking at it right now. You said £1.25. And you said £1.60. It is £150. So that means you get a betwing and I get a between. We both get a between there. Oh, we're both getting between here. So SpongeBob Spongeb, Spongeholder.

Crazy Cube. Come on, we're getting there. Infinity Cube. Infinity Crazy Cube. What did you say? Oh, I said that. Hang on. You said 190?

Yeah, we both said 190, I think. What did you? What's that, Paul? Yeah, we both said 190. In that case, we're getting a twing because it's two pounds. Oh, shit. I know. Shit, shit, shit.

Right. We get between there. Pendulum balance thing, which is the man with the pendulum balance thing. Yeah. What did you say? What did I say, sorry? What did I? What did I price? You've got a piece of paper.

What did I price for the balancing toy? You I priced it at ATP. Right. And you said, I priced it. I priced it. One pound ten. Okay. The answer is one pound 60.

Oh, nothing there. Nothing for the Iver us there. Snakey. The 3D snake, which is a 3D printed snake. Snake. Iridescent. You said 170. What did I say?

You said 180 for that one. The answer is 190. So it's a betwiing for you. And you get a betwings as well, yeah. Yeah, but and you. Yeah, we both get up a twing. Yeah. There are two petings split in twine.

Hifthways. Right. Next one is the rubber band gun. A favorite item before. A favorite item of the show, actually, maybe, possibly. You said 190 again. You said £2 pound. I said two pound.

The answer is, 190. Two betwings for Gannon. Oh my God. Oh my God. Two betwiings for Gannon. That's just, no. Two per twings there.

But you get between still, don't you? Yeah. So you're not out of the game yet. Rubber band. Fucking thrilling. How is this taking 10 minutes? That's the only one that's on the nose because it's 80 items. Four more to go.

Here we go. Dog door stop. Dog door stop. One 40 you say. You said. 180. The answer was 1 pound and 35 pence. That's another between for me, I believe.

And Eli get to nothing. Right, good. Caterpillar pin. Socialist Caterpillar pin. Socialist Caterpillar pin. What did you say? You said 50p. You said 50p. The answer was one pound. They were both a pound, those pins. I know. Shame. Do you think quite cheap? Nose pencil sharpener.

You said 30p. It is our penultimate item of the list. You said 30p. You said 40p. The answer is 85p. No there. I think you've won. And finally.

Fat crocodile. Fat crocodile. A least underwhelming. A most underwhelming. At least wellming. Yeah. The most wellmed. No.

Underwhelmed. Oh yeah. The least wellmed. Right. You said 75p. You said 30p. Well, it was 150. So.

Nothing there. I think you're up. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. You got. One, two, three, four, five, five. six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Oh, just by one. I think that double, double.

That was it. That was it, man. Either way, that would have been, uh, draw. If, uh, if I hadn't have got it spot on. Yeah, if you got close there, it was that extra between of getting on the nose. Well, no. Because we weren't doing good at the beginning there.

No, no, it was dark times. Until almost a third down the list before you got your first between. I know. It wasn't. It was, thank God. I thought I was going to have shit all down my legs and in my gusset. So at least between us, we managed to get one. price directly on the nose.

It's just a numbers game. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, literally this is a numbers game. Yeah. It's about saying numbers out of out. No, I know, but I mean, when you've got so many items, you're likely of getting one that's exactly right, goes up. Yeah, but no, my look, I either do really well or I have a nasty match.

No, congratulations. A good haul of between from both of us there. There's a little bit of cut and thrust back and forth there with the prices. It kept an interested. Which items are you going to keep? Well, I want the latti band gun. And the coin. And the coin.

And that's it, really. You can have anything else. I think I'm going to go for the back scratcher. Nice. The crab. You want the slot machine, don't you? The slot machine. The badges.

Yeah, you have the badges. The cat. Oh, there's a notion. I might take some of these because I'm going to my friends to play cards tonight and they have a little spoon. His children sometimes like taking things from me. All right, well, that's weird. Okay, so let's wrap this off. I meant like I give them gifts.

I know. Yeah, well, even then, let's keep on getting weirder with your statements. Right, let's move on. Fuck me, Cheap Show's done and Dusted again. Doesn't time fly when you're having fun. We'll see you next week on Cheap Show, but until then, goodbye for now. Your one-stop shot for all things Cheap Show is our website, the Cheapshow.com.

com. And from there, you can find us anywhere else in the internet, whether that's our YouTube, Fortnitely series Cheap Shot, whether that's our live show information, where that episode guides themselves. Either way, it all starts there. And Ken Paul, yes. Reiterate what you said at the top of the show

in case they didn't remember about this year's 500. Bruce Forsyfe there helping me out. About this year's 500th episode spectacular live show cross-stream thing you're planning. It is likely we will not be doing the cheerful, earful podcast festival because it is so close to our 500th episode. However, we're going to make 500 big. We're going to try and make it our biggest show ever.

So if you want to come and you're interested in coming to see us live, keep the middle of August free for now. Once things are set in place, tickets will go first to our patrons as ever. So if you'd like to be a Patreon and get access to those tickets early, as and when the time comes, patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Give what you can, but only if you can. And if you do get involved, there's hours and hours and hours of extra podcasts behind the scenes, videos. Literally.

Obviously. Magazine. The Cheap Show magazine. It's like there's so many things depending on the tier. Probably a few days, Paul. Night busing as well on there. Which is everyone, our spin-off podcast for patrons only that has me and Paul going on night buses

and saying what we think of them. Might have a new one next month as well. It is a new night bus in London. I'm going to get a weekend off from work so we can do it. I'm actually going to make the air. Oh, is it only on the weekends? It's right. Do you do any Friday, Saturdays it runs?

Have you done one of those yet? No. Ah, special night bus. Yeah, well, that's why that might be our next big one. Anyway, look, that's the news for now. Other than that, we'll see you next week on Cheap Show. Take care. Stay safe.

M-Wah. See you guys. Thanks.