CheapShow - Ep 475: The Colour Of Money

Episode Date: February 20, 2026

There is some old school, good old fashioned, classic CheapShow action this week on the podcast! Paul is very excited to share his latest “Gannon’s Golden Games” segment with a game he has been after for a while… The Colour Of Money. Although it’s based on an ITV game show, you’d be hard pressed to remember it OR care, but is the electronic board game as thrilling as the TV show wanted it to be? Paul and Eli will find out. If all that isn’t enough, we open up a new casefile from our “Tales from the Shop Floor” cabinet to share a story that promises to deliver that classic CheapShow horror, disgust and amusement. And if all that isn’t enough, they throw in a few new characters too… Although you may wish they’d throw them out again soon after! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-475-the-colour-of-money www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Oh, what a day. It's Gannon's Games Day. It's one of my favourite days of the year. Oh, I love it when I can pull my games out and entertain you, the audience, with me, Paul Gannon's Games. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Cheap Show. It's Games Day.

Everyone can bring a game in. Look at the energy I brought just then. Woof, woof, woof. I'm on dog mode. Oh, you know what? Yeah, go on. What do you bring? A low-key energy.

Oh, Eli's Sleepy Town. I was wincing. Why? Because the way you did the opening. Is it because you don't like enthusiasm and joy? It felt like a very forced enthusiasm. Of course it's forced. I ain't doing this show.

I know. Wow. You've got mental. Do you know what? Your level of sort of mental illness problem, has become everyone's problem. As soon as you go right, I'm going to, let's start the recording.

You're on sort of three. Let me just give people an idea. And then you go straight to, like nine. Yeah, this is what happened. Before I pressed, I went, all right, Eli, just one sec. Recording in three, two.

Boff, bough, bough, bough. It's game day. It's game's day. It's game's full day today on Cheap Show, and I can't wait to share what I've got with you. You woofing like that. Yes, with enthusiasm. Bruno and the Dog, 8.m. on WK and NFP&T.

It reminded me, as you were coming over today, to the House of Harrow on the Hill, A haunted harrow on the hill. House on Haunted Hill. There was a lady who had a dog. Wouldn't stop whimpering. Oh. Would it stop whimpering?

No. Wouldn't stop whimpering. And she kept going, it's all like this, the whole way, announcing that it's going to be an unending noise of whimpering dog for your entire journey. Oh, dear. And then she said, at least I'm not taking it back. And it's like, I'm not going to be on the train with you when he come back, darling. Oh, dear.

You know? Misogio for me like that. No, it wasn't it? They could have been any gender. All right. Still. He's still a misogynist. I'm not.

You are, you just proved it. You called a woman darling in a derogatory way, as it's to undermine it standing. I wouldn't just call a man, darling. Oh, would you? I'd call you, darling. You do call me darling. I do, honey. I would argue not enough.

I do, my sweet pee. Oh, baby. Right, it's games day. It's cheap show. Come on in. Hey, hey, hey. Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. Cheap show to the other day.

Yeah, it was like, oh, ow, oh, oh. Like metronomic. Yeah. Who let the dog. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Right, hello, it's a cheap show, which is an economy comedy podcast, where Eli and I, we usually, we usually go to bargain

mince, charity shops and power lines to pull out the treasure that exists amongst the trash. Hi, everybody. You find in those places. I'm Mr. Paul Gannon and that. I mean, he said, I'm Eli. Yeah, but I want you to do more formal, formal introduction. You want to be formal?

Would you mind, sir? You want me to be fucking formal, dear? Formal, would you? Be formal. Hello, sir. Perhaps you would wish to join me here. in the parlour, sir. Down here, sir.

That's very formal. Very formal, indeed. Did you like it? Yeah, I quite liked it. Ah, so today's, sir, what are we playing? I don't know what this guy is. What are we doing today, you say? He's Colonel Fusty, everyone.

Colonel Fusty's here. I'm not in favour of social degradation, sir. Okay, well, don't you worry, Colonel Fusty? We're going to have a lovely game today of games. Right. I'm going. It's okay. I'll just, yeah, I'll let you out of that one.

Fine. Hello, everyone. Anyway, welcome to Cheap Show. Yes, it is a board game today. I'm Eli Silverman. It is a Gannon. It's not even Gannon's Golden Games. As I say, isn't it?

Is it really not, though, Paul? I would say we've never codified and certainly haven't put in writing what the golden in Gannon's golden games actually refers to. I thought it referred to a general golden hue as in top class, as in five star, as in above and beyond. I guess. Yeah? Although that's always proven to be never the case though, right? That kind of thing.

Yeah. Gold. Non-dom pla. Non-dom pla. Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. There is no other.

Non-dom pla. You're mispronouncing it. I know. I can't remember what it is. Nom-dom-dun-plah. It's not non-dom-dun-plah. It's like a Thai soup or something. It's where you're eating.

Non-nom-nom-nom-nom-n-pla. That is like a Thai soup. Yeah. Nom-dom-nom-nom-nom-lo. What is that phrase now? Bougar me. You'll never get it from what you were saying. I just love saying it.

Fucking love it. It's like se non-plus or something, isn't it? No, it's it's non-donplat. It's something like that. You can't tell you. It just is. Stop saying it. Stop saying it.

The way I'd like to redefine it's moved into the funny, but if you say it another three or four times, it'll stop being funny. Please. I want to save it in case I need to pull it out later. Please make it stop being funny. Non-dom-blah. Oh, no.

Oh, no. What a day. Oh, no. For me, I think a Gannon's Golden Games should be a game that I personally think ranks as something notable to play and talk about. Well, I still get to do the theme song. Yes, but this is more of a pause, pleasant past times. And we're also going to squeeze in a quick little tales from the shop floor, as we've had another of, I think, good quality. A good quality tales from the shop floor.

Everybody, if you don't know. Textbook one. Tells from the shop floor is when listeners who work in retail send in a little story. Send in a little story. Tell a little story for you there. I can't talk. It's a real problem I'm having here now, Paul, since you started with that nom non-nom-blah shit.

Non-nom-nom-plah. Shut up. Shut up. Right. You do it. You do the show. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I'm crying. I wasn't listening. I know, because I can't speak properly anymore. Yeah, right. Well, look, people who work in shops tells us stories via the written form, and we read them out based on the exploits of that experience as a work. You said in letters about working in retail, we read them out. Simples.

And when he referred to a good quality one, because they can get quite bigoted and depressing. Yeah. So that's why we didn't, it's not a... We let it sleep for a while because it became, yeah, really kind of a sad to read out. It's not as funny. I thought we peaked with necrotic leghole in terms of like... That was both the Nadir and the Zenith. Oh, there was also the rubber cunt covered in cum box.

Do you remember that one? Yes. Yeah. So after that it became a bit like... There was poo. Oh yeah, there's been all sorts. There's a big shit in a changing room. Shit.

Vomit. It all just got... It just became a parade of bodily fluids. It did. A rainbow of bloody fluids. Although spoiler warning, we're back on full this week. Oh, yay. Yay.

So we've got a little bit of a rude one for you. It's a poo-poop. Yeah. No, that one that someone made up. What one made up? That was one made up. Like about the minor who used to wank off when he could smell his comprar.

What? I don't remember this. Not compadres. I don't know why I used that word there. Friend, yeah. No, his colleagues. Right. In a mine. You remember this? No, I don't. Don't you remember it? They worked in a mine or whatever.

Right. And like he was found wanking when someone else was taking a shit because he's like huffing and huffing the shit smells. All right, okay, I'll be honest. I really genuinely don't remember that story and I'm beginning to wonder where you got it from. I was sitting right here when you read it out to me. I don't remember it.

I don't remember a deep mind. turd snuff wank situation. It may not have been a mine. It might be to some other industrial workplace. You'd think that would stick in my mind, but I can't think of it. I know there was the man on the toilet who saw a little silver spoon come up.

Oh no, not that. That's good. There was that one. And then, you know, there was the blocked toilet that the person had to fix and it was like literally a mountain of cack. With a big spoon in it. With a big stick in the top.

It stood up. There was so much cag. Maybe we shouldn't do this segment ever again. I like it. It's just, you know. As well as celebrating the cheap on this show, Paul. We sometimes celebrate the downright dirty and horrible.

We are a dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty podcast. We're a dirty pair of fuzzy, nutted, poultry, squelchers. Comdom blah. Yeah. Condon plas. Sendom plas or something. Shut up.

Anyway, we don't do it. You couldn't deal with it. You couldn't deal with my similes and metaphors. You have silly similes. I'll say that for you. And messy metaphors. Metaphores and silly sillonies. They can't do words.

I'm getting too excited. Okay, cool. I'm going to read this one out, though. Yeah, you are. I'm going to pull it out now for you to read. Prepare everybody for a tales. Everyone calm down now. A tales from the shop floor.

Everyone calm down. No, it's you and me that needs to calm down. They're probably thinking. No, they're excited too. Are they? Yeah, they're rubbing their tits and stuff for watching it. Going, oh, Gannon and Paul. Oh, wait a minute.

That's both me. Oh, Freudian and Ely. Oh, Gannon and Ely. Touch tits. Oh, come on. Boys, bring me home. Did you hear him? He said Gannon and Paul as if he were the only two people here. I ams.

Gannon and Paul, Gannon and Paul. Gannon and Paul, Gannon and Paul. I'm checking out everyone. Gannon and Paul. Gannon and Paul. Gannon and Paul. Right, anyway, let's... Now, let's do... If you're going to just make noises, I'll make noises.

I can make noises too. And anyway, this is now the moment I put a sound effect in. Thank you. And now it's time to go over to Eli Silverman's Havel For a Tales from the Sharp Floor Storytime Was that all right that one?

Please leave this Sure I've got nowhere to go Please don't send me out there Please just for five minutes to get warm No It's cold that one I've been out there for days Come on

Oh right you can You'd have to put down the banjolalee though It's not mine anyway Is that a badgelio? is, yeah, it's a banjolalia this. I thought it was a yuk. Whose banjolale is that?

It's Poles, isn't it? He got it years ago. It's not in tune. I haven't learned it or tuned it. I don't know how to play the thing. Why are you playing it then? What's your name anyway? You left your door open.

I've just walked in. Well, could you put the banjolale down? Is this a podcast? Yes, it is, yeah. Oh, I've never seen one of those be done. Can I so sit in the corner or watch? But please, could you, if you could put the banjolale down?

It's story time. All right, go stand over there. No, you worry about that. Just over there, then? Yeah, sit down and be quiet, please. Don't be quiet, all right, don't you worry about it. I won't say a thing. It's goodness.

Hello, everybody. I'm Eli Silverman. Hello, I'm Paul Gannon. I've also been in the room during this whole section. This is a tale from the shop floor. I like them. Now, just a quick reminder, if you struck your head on a tabletop recently

just within the last few minutes, I forgot the format, if people have worked in a shop, if they write us a letter, if they send it to us, if they read it out, if we do it? We do read it out.

We read out a letter from people who work in shops with a unique story from their workshop experience. Message. What's this on? It was sent via our website, the cheapsearchot.com. Because you can message us on there as well. That's why it has a strange format. Yes. Okay.

Okay. I'll just go straight from the top of the message. Go straight from the top. Dear Paul and Eli. Hello. Firstly, thank you for nearly 11 years of the economy, comedy and many laughs, especially through difficult times and... Yeah.

Chronic depression. We've all been there I'm not laughing at that But I just Misogynist and laughs No, shut up! Stop gas-lising me! Right They don't seem to like each other those two

Fucking get that fucking Is this meant to be a podcast I thought people would nice do each other on a podcast Thought they sat in front of a camera and drank wine Sorry move on Who's he? Shut up Paul Who's that man?

How did you get in? He's some kind of fucking stinky Stinky bum tramp who came Oh, now there's no need for that. So, beside you need now, right, and then attacking the homeless, which is a growing problem with this country, and it hasn't been dealt with by those who would rather turn a blind eye. And now here he is.

If he wasn't so... You know, how do you think I'm homeless? Because of your clothing. I don't know. I'm sorry, I assumed you were homeless. I'm not a lovely house. It's just how far away. But why'd you have to be in here?

You were going on about how you had nowhere to go. You were going on about how you had nowhere to go earlier. Yeah, because I've never been to London before. So you can see how I assumed... I live in the Cartswolds, don't I? Right. So you can't get home easily right now. No, not right now.

If you could just be quiet. I miss me coach. We don't need your opinions about what and what isn't a podcast and how good this is, okay? I've just never knew one before. It's quite nice, isn't it? It is nice? Yeah. Good.

Are we okay? I mean, I'm okay, but you seem to have a problem with women. You seem to have a problem with the mental ill and you see you have a problem with that. The mental ill? Yeah, you know. I shouldn't have left the door open. Eli, I'm very sorry. You shouldn't have, Paul.

I'm so fucking angry with you about that. But anyway, I'll wait, he's quiet now. Chronic depression. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Next. Go on, what was it? That's where you were. This tales from the shop floor

comes from back in 2017. Have we got a name yet? They haven't mentioned their name. All right. Let's see how it goes. And I haven't mentioned not to, but I do know their name. All right. Well, let's see what they say when you get there.

Yeah, all right. See what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For now, the story is an non. This tales from the shop floor comes from back in 2017 when I was working at a well-known health and beauty shop. I was working in a well-known health and beauty. Beauty shop

When I met you Actually it does rhymes with Pooper Slug Do you know what that means? No Maybe get there And then I'll know the context

Body Shop Oh no Super Drug Super Drug, well done Yeah Well done So he worked for Super Drug Or they

We don't know who they are yet Hello There's a section You don't even know Oh yeah Shouldn't you read it in advance Sorry sir Yeah

What's your name Oh Daniel It's Daniel Okay Now Daniel Now Daniel Now Daniel Yes, why do they call you that then?

Because I dress like a pig, don't I? Yes, you do. You smell like one as well. Yeah, that's what I do. It's what we all do at there. There's Colonel Fusty over there. I think he lost his sense of smell in the war. So if you go, you could sit over there with him.

He's probably got quite something in common with you. Don't you think two new characters is too much for this week's episode? I don't know. I don't think you, Daniel, should be commenting on the amount of characters. It just sounds like, Shaw! Come down, no, come on. You're good sir.

Right? What's Cuiyaga over there then, shall? You can't, look, I can't smell a thing since the war, sir. Oh, all right. So you're fine with me. You know, I like oakes. Sa. Have you ever killed a man?

Oh, countless. All right, come on then. Okay, there we go. Bye. Oh, lovely stuff. Good comedy there, I think. Good comedy. I'm sake.

Right. Go on. Stop. Pools in a weird mood, everyone. Right. Whibble, wibble, whibble, go on. Okay, so, Super Drive, 2017. Got it.

Our main character was there working. Good. There's a section of the shop that sells adult item. Do they? Brackets, Johnny's, lube, etc. Oh, you know what? Yeah, fair enough, because I do remember we did that episode, the sex episode, 69, where we looked at the sex cock rings from Poundland and the little mini vibrators.

All right, fine. But this is a super drug, so it's got legit. I just did no super drug did that stuff as well. Well, they do because basically there's a grey area. I've got a fucking grey area. It doesn't make sense at all. Right. More than you.

No, I keep it clean. It's just grey. What, they're wispy old hairs. Yeah, it looks like a badger's nose. Weird. Right. I thought that as well. How do you see your ass?

You take photos of it. Mirrors, mirrors, mirrors. Mirrors. Many mirrors. If you think about it, right? Yeah, I do. Condoms and sort of lube and stuff like that. that.

Today say johnnies and lube. So those are like actual prophylactic stuff. They don't have like they don't have vibrators and cock rings. They have they have bottles of lube. Yeah. In a more kind of sexual health thing. More to that. Yeah.

But there is a grey area. I think you can get you can get Jurex that have little vibrating rings built in and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can get condoms with like special like lube on of that makes it all numb down there. Buzzers, ticklers. Frigglers. Ticks. Jobbblers

Gobbly nublers Fish finger fancies He said fish fingers everyone Stop! Right, we've got a lot of We've got a lot of episode to get through my friend A Nanny Knobler Oh, Gannon's Funky Knuckle

Come on! All right Oh shit Come on, sorry, I'll stop I'm a naughty boy He's disciplining everyone now Oh god He's melting down

It's weird It's weird how he hasn't melted down For a few episodes But he really did this week Good stuff He just he brought it on himself I did Like fucking

Anyway they've all these sexing and super drug What next And one day As I was serving customers at the Till with my assistant manager, a rather large, middle-aged lady stormed in and went straight to my assistant manager,

looking like a bull with a cactus up its ass. What the manager? Or the lady had that? The lady did. All right, okay, got it. Bit of fruity language there. A bit of fruity language. She then proceeded to slam onto the counter, a pocket vibrator, screaming at my assistant manager, I want a refund.

It broke five minutes into using it. I want my money back. Oh, so she's bringing back of sex toy, a little tiny bullet vibrator. Yes, because they're a huge, sloppy, muscular, clum, fucking draped it and sapped and killed the batteries. It, basically. The gravitational force of it, big, hairy mott, crushed it.

Stop, why are you doing like this? I've given up. Stop, stop, stop. We've got to get through this whole episode, man. Fucking crushed it like a styrofoam cup at the bottom of the ocean. Oh, right. Your neighbour will get mad. She's not here till tomorrow.

I'm letting it all out. Okay, sorry, you've got to get through this letter, mate. You've got to get through this. Okay? Yes. I want my money back. This was shocking enough, as she clearly didn't care who was listening. But the worst part was the still clearly visible tidelines around the vibrator.

Indicating that she hadn't bothered to clean it off before presenting it to my colleague. A salty tide line around the rim of the vibrator. E! At this point, I'm howling with laughter. So, yeah, they saw the funny side. Oh, I'm glad they did. As my, I would see the funny side. I would see the funny side.

I would see the funny side. I would think about if you were actually there, you would start laughing. Yeah, of course you would. Yeah. I'd be running away. I don't know if I'd actually, I'd run away and laugh. At this point, I'm howling with laughter.

Yeah. As my assistant manager calmly told her that adult items have to be sent back to the manufacturer as they are for intimate use and need proper disposal. Especially with the ring of sloppage. Yeah. Fucking need a brillo pad or fucking grumpy daddy, whatever it's called, that fucking foam.

Oh yeah, grumpy daddy. What's it called him? Grumpy daddy. I don't know. Scrub mummy. Scrub mummy. You need more fucking scrub mummy on your clit stick. Oh, Jesus.

You need to calm me, dad. Yes, I know. You lost control of me. It's very unprofessional. I'm not here trying to control you. You should. to what a professional co-host would do. This only made the woman more irate,

screaming that she was the customer and she expected her money back. Finally, after realizing that my assistant manager wasn't going to back down, she stormed back out of the shop, swearing and ranting, whilst leaving her grotty sex toy on the counter. We had to close the till down,

cordon off that section, and wait two and a half hours for a biohazard company to come and remove it. And deep clean the till, in the case woman had any contractable diseases. Oh, God. God. It was a day I will never forget, and it still reminisced about frequently with old colleagues.

Oh, well, happy days. Many thanks and lots of love and scrudgies. Oh. Connor, aka Goblin Gubbins. Oh, okay, yeah. Thank you, Connor. I recognise that online handle. Yeah.

A lot of interaction with the old cheap show accounts there. They do indeed. And you can follow us on on all those social media accounts apart from X, which we are now off of. Right. What a lovely story. It's a classic. It's a classic. It's a classic.

Tideslines and sloppage. Nice use of language. Well done, Connor. I don't know why she thought, though, that she can return a sex toy. What do you expect for five pound clit toy, though? You know what I mean? They're not going to be well made. It's crazy that they had to shut the whole of the thing down and wait for biohazard.

You couldn't, couldn't you just sort of, you know, you've got some. Like, just what? Some hands down. You're in the boots. You're in boots or whatever. Yeah, slather it in fucking, uh, yeah. Antisocial wipes. Anti-social, anti-bacterial white.

Anti-social wipes. Anti-social wipes. No, anti-bacterial wipes. Just bleach it. Yeah. But you don't want to take any risk, I guess. Because she could have to be so disgusted. If you actually knew that was her actual fanny batter.

Especially if she lifted their hand off of it after slapping it down. And they were like webbing. There was like... Now you're doing it. Butrella pizza webbing kind of. You know what I mean? Like off her hand. Yeah.

Like sticky essence. Anyway, thank you, Connor. Thank Connor. That was a lovely story. Classic textbook. And if you want to send us your tales from the shop floor, You can email us the cheap show at gmail.gill.com. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. And now it's time for Gannon's Golden Games after this sound effect. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. No, thank you, Paul. No, thank you for reading that out very much. Thank you. Thank you.

E! E! E! E! Gada, Gada Gah! Gah! Gat a Gareo! Adderio! Adairio! Adairio! Gat a Gatigga! Gat a Gah! Gat a Gah! Gah! Gah! Gah! Games! Well, a very boisterous introduction to the segment I regret calling Gannon's Golden Games. It's the part of the show where I've gone to a charity shop, bought a board game for tuppenceers. It's a Gagglegall game. And brought it to the podcast for play and review. You can fucking proper stop that now.

The games are Gagin. No, that's upset me that now. What do you mean? That's upset me that. I didn't mean to upset you. You went a little bit too far. I accepted what you offered first off. Didn't interrupt it, didn't complain.

But unfortunately, Eli, like a horny cow, you milked it too much. Cows don't milk themselves, although I pay to money. No, cows don't milk themselves. What they do is they go up to the farm and they go, please milk me more. Is that what they're saying? And they wiggle their udders a little bit. And that's saying, oh, I really would like milking.

Yeah. And the farmer's like, no, no, no. Not a day. You've been milked a day already. I was like, moo-woo. M-hmm. You know what you're reminding me of now?

Mooh. Has anyone seen? All right, then, Bessie, one more time then. Have you ever seen Top Secret with Val Coom? Yeah, with Vycombe. Val-Kilm. I was going to say Valdunachan then. Val-Kilma, and there's one bit when they own a pantomime horse

and a cow actually comes and sucks it off, doesn't he? Sucks him off when he's in the horse. Remember that? Yeah, I do. Thank you for the pop cultural. reference, whereas I'm talking about a cheeky naughty moose, uh, moo, cow, cheeky naughty cow, mouse, mouse. Right, we're all too stimulating, things aren't working.

You're too stimulating, what you stimulated with? I'm talking about the horny cow idea I was putting forward. Too much. Who liked his others being felt good and proper. You did another two characters there of, you're going crowd to crazy. No. The cow doesn't count as a character because I was just playing a cow. It's not like we have a cow character.

What about this? Meow. Yeah, it's just you being a cat. It's not a character, is it? No, that's Jenny Jenkins. No, that's Jenny Jenkins. Jenny Jenkins, the what? The cat.

Actually, you assumed I could... The minute you give it a voice, then it's fine. You assumed I couldn't speak English. That was very rude of you. Because you're a cat, yes. I think that's pretty fucking obvious. Ow, Jenny Jenkins. Ow!

Have you got some milk? Yow? We got some. Ooh. Oh, I'll be very gentle. I'm Bessie. The Randy Cow. Oh.

Like, can we stop? This isn't going to go anywhere of any worth. Right. So let's just move on. Sorry. Just saying. Yeah. Anyway, what's happened is we've wasted a few minutes now

when I could have explained what the game is. And the game this week is the colour of money. I've never heard of it. It's weird. Do you know, every now and then I'll buy a board game based on a TV game show? And it's like, have you ever heard of tipping point or fucking rolling in it? or spend a penny or whatever it fucking was. They proliferate, don't they?

And do you know what it is, Paul? There was a time, perhaps when we're in university or when we were looking for work just after university, when you'd be at home during the day and you'd be watching telly. And that was the time in your life when you knew the game shows that were on and around. But since then they proliferate. There must be at least two or three new ones every year. Oh, yeah.

No, easily. And some of them go for a year or two, some go for less. Some have canceled immediately. You know what I mean? There's a whole wave of them. Yeah, but they all seem to get board games now. Like, they're only on for one season and they get a board game. And the other thing, the other theory I have is that games like this are born out of the success of who wants to be a millionaire.

Where it's like, we need the next big one of them. Weakest Link managed to hit it. But for every millionaire and weakest link, you get a color of money or a tipping point or the wall or whatever, these flash in the pan, high concept game shows. And with a similar sort of gambolies type concept. is what you're saying. So this is rare in that there are no trivia questions at all involved. So it is all about like gambling and risk and it's got elements of deal or no deal. It's got like elements of like, I don't know, like gambling.

And what I do is because I saw the board game and this was in like so many charity shops, I got this for like three quid. And it's an electronic game, right? So, you know, it's not like a cheap piece of shit. Looks in good Nick as well. And it all works fine and dandy. But I was still like, I don't remember the colour of. of money at all.

But did a bit of research and here we are at Wikipedia. The Colour of Money is a British game show broadcast on ITV between February 21st and 11th of April 2009. So it ran for less than a year. Oh. And yet it has this board game out of it.

So they obviously jumping before they could. When did it finish? Sorry, what years did you say? It began and ended in 2009, started in February, ended in April. So this is already... It's almost 20 years old. It's so doing my head in all of that shit.

All of that stuff. It feels like it was 10 years ago It was actually 20 years ago It will be 20 next year, well yeah It was hosted by Chris Tarrant And Millie Clod I don't know who Millie Claude C-L-O-D-E

Should I know who she is? Must be Clode No one's going to be called Clod I don't know Especially in the public eye She's an English TV presenter She worked for Sky Sports News And also provided statistical analysis

On ITVs the colour of money Right so yeah There is some maths So there must be sort of odds Yeah At play that she was sort of an equivalent of Dictionary Corner. I guess.

Or Richard Osmond on... Pointless. I think it's a thankless role, though, because once we get playing it, you'll soon realise that having a statistical analysis is like the equivalent of like having someone play the banker on deal or no deal. It's kind of there for show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

To build up stakes and drama. But the banker on deal or no deal is incredibly important. No, but like having him... He offers them... Yeah, yeah, but in terms of like... Buyout offers. If he was on stage with Noel Edmonds, wouldn't be the same.

He wouldn't need him there, no. The drama's better that way. Yes. So only eight episodes were produced. Wow. So it really failed. This can't be right. A total of eight episodes were produced, but only seven of these were broadcast due to poor viewing

figures. Wow. It was axed in June 2009. There you go. The show later survived as a board game manufactured by Drummond Park, which is the one we've got here. Well, that's it. Maybe the board, you seem to think, it's worth putting in golden games. It's because it's one of those things I love.

It's a board game based on a game show that was on TV that you either never heard, of or as a TV classic, like Generation Game 3, 2, 1, whatever. This is really obscure. Seven episodes aired. And yet here it is, the board game, a version. But again, it's because they thought this could be the next big, who wants to be a millionaire or whatever. They didn't get any celebrity associated with it.

Chris Tarrant was the big name, because he obviously fronted a million-eared. Did he present this? Yes. Yeah, with Millie. Oh. Sorry, I was just not absorbing any of the information you're telling me. I know. That happens every week.

Sorry, sorry, everyone. Critical reaction. It did receive a few reviews. The program. received a largely negative response from critics. The Times said it was tedious, while the news of the world branded it exactly the kind of cynical, crowd-pleasing guff we've come to despise IDV-4.

I mean, that does seem true. One of the few positive reviews came from Charlie Broker, writing in The Guardian, who called the show so compelling, tense and yet ultimately random. It's likely to be a huge worldwide hit. Well, you're wrong about that. He was well wrong. In his review of 2009,

Broker described this as the most off-the-marked, production of the year. Readers of the website, UK game shows.com, named it the worst game show of 2009 in their Hall of Shame, Paul. Wow. But there were international versions off the back of this original. It got sold to Italy, where it also ran for one year. And that's it actually. Oh, no. And then Lithuania. So was it Taran's company that was behind it? No. It wasn't. Unless the company 12 Yard is owned by him, but I don't think it is, because he's a selladour, right? Yeah, that's what I thought. Actually, 12 Yard is a TV production company formed by David Young and some of the creative team behind Hattrick productions and the weakest link.

Oh, there you go. They've done eggheads. Hatrack is quite huge. They've had some huge success, haven't they? Mostly, well, Hatrick is a comedy, wasn't it? Yeah. Whose line is it anyway? It's the biggest account.

Yeah. So the game is, they'll be picked on our website, but effectively for people listening, the game is basically this. We have to go around aboard winning money. Money transfers into... Spaces on the grid. They call it the golden mile or something, or some of the golden fucking path.

It's basically just a race, like snakes and ladders. It is a race. We pick a card at random. That tells us where to put this little disc on the board so we know where to aim for on the track around the coloured chart. Okay. Then you pick a colour card out with a price on. Random.

And that's where the board is. That's where you put the coin. I'm confusing again. The target. Yeah. This is, now we're still in the setup. Yeah. I'm just thought we get out of the setup out of the way before we did the game.

Try and do the set up again, right? No, what are we looking at it? There's a track around the outside of the board with prices going from 1,000, to for some reason, 1 million, even though there's no way to play to a million in this version of the game, board game. Oh, really? Which is that the biggest prize? It must have been.

In this version of the game, I think the highest you can get to is like 80K or something. Yeah, 80K. So you pick a card at random, whatever that card's price is, is where you put the silver disc on the track. That's our target. That's our target. Then the game begins. Should we do that?

Should we do that now? No, we can just explain a little bit more. Then the game begins. And what happens is 20 colours on the board with a card. One is caramel, for example, violet, bronze. Pink, green, orange, blue, bronze, purple, red, silver, plum. There's 20 colours. Ivy.

Every colour has an associated price between £1,000 and £20,000. So, for example, Ivy could be £7,000. Right. Aqua could be 20. We don't know. Could be. The machine, this electronic component, does. Because when you put the colour down on it and type in the number, in that case, Ivy would be 20.

Yeah. It then locks in an amount off this grid of what Ivy is. And then? Then the game begins. Because to move around the board, you've got to earn pounds, right? You put the card on, you set it, you press go, and it starts counting up in increments of 1,000 until it gets to the target. When it gets to the target cost of this, whatever this decides it is, it goes and it busts out.

And then there's no points available after that. No, you can't move. But you've got to hold your nerve and either try and get it right on it or quite high up to it. The little white bar around this little plastic thing. That's to stop it with... That's when you stop it. You press that to stop it. It'll make more sense when we start playing it.

But effectively, you put Ivy down, you type in the code. That has a cost. It starts going 1,000, 2,000, 3,000. One of us doesn't have to... Oh, I see. But like, you press it down and then you stop it, right? Yes. And then if you stopped it on 7, you'd move 7 spaces.

And then it's my turn, because I have the remaining amounts. Where do we start? Here. Oh, and we just go bonged down one. Boink, no, along around. Yeah, but how do we go? Where do we start here? Here, no, you start here.

Oh, that blue one there. And then it curls around, right? And then the big curly poo. Switches over there and goes around the gap. That's where it switches there, right. But we shouldn't need to go that far, to be honest. Well, it depends where we put the target. But basically, we have to gamble and hold on to try and get the most pound out of each card before it goes bust.

So if you stop it on seven, and it's my go, 8,000 could be where it taps out. And if I don't get it, I lose, or I can see how far it goes before I tap out. I got you. I got you. And then basically you go round and around the ball playing that over and over and over and over. until one of us gets to the end. Let's do this. Right, so I'm going to now play the theme tune, if I can get off the internet, and put it in now as we begin, The Color of Money. Right, so to start the game off, we're going to play Eli versus Paul,

the colour of money, the flashiest of the panniest game shows. I think we've covered on the podcast to date. Very much the most flash of the pannist. Yes. So I have cards in my hand that started like... Yeah, but you're looking at you've got them face up. It's the cheating, the cheating. I'm showing you that they're all different. The cheating has started. Well, no, you don't even know why I'm showing you these yet, so calm down, right? So they go from about 80K down to 40, I think. Yes.

Right. And they're all going to be shuffled. And that one of those is going to be our target. Yeah, I'm going to shuffle them, and you can pick one out, right? I'm just shuffling them proper good, so you don't. He is shuffling them, yes. And I'm trying not to look at the car to I can't see anything. He's not looking.

He's looking me dead in the eye. Spreading them out. You pick anything you want. He's spreading them out, and I've picked one. What is it? 65K. 65K is what we're playing for today. That's right.

Is that actually also what the prize would be as well? Yes, it would. Again, I've never seen the TV version. I was going to, and I thought, what's the fucking point? So move that to 65K on the outside track. Where is 65? Yeah, put it there. So we're starting here, Eli and I here.

I'm red person, he's green person. And I'm green. And we're going to roll around the outside of the board. And again, and then we're back around until we get to there. So basically we have to earn 65K over these 20 colour cards. And again, when I played by myself the other day to test it all worked, you could get there in half the space. I'm ready to do this.

Right. Okay. Woo! The batteries are on. I've got to turn the machine on. Turn the machine on. With me. Here we go.

Right. It's playing. It's playing the music from the thing. Bomba-joppa-joba-jim-bobba-jabba. Bomb-jabba-jobba. It's good music. Right, so, first of all, to play the game, Here's that card, give it here.

Why? Because I've got to put it here on the machine. Put the 65K card on the machine. Yeah. So, Eli, you can start and pick the first colour, right? So caramel is number one, pink is number two. It goes all the way up to Ivy, which is number 20. Just give us a colour.

I would like magenta over there, 14. Number 14, so I put the card here. Right, now I go first. This is the name of the card. Let me see. When you dial in the number, you hold the white bar down for a little bit and that just sets it. Ready? Right, now it's ready to go.

When we press it again, it will start counting up in thousands. This colour, magenta, has a value, but we won't know what it is. Okay? Ready to begin? Are you going first? Both at the same time. It's about how we hold our metal. So press the bar once.

Right, now it starts counting. 1,000. 2,000. So how much is this card worth of magenta? Is it going to be 6,000? I'm going to go with 7. So I'm going to move 7, right? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Now it's your turn and you can either, you can see how long you've got, right? Go. I take 7, yeah. No, no, you can get more. You could go 8 or more now, right? Could I take 7? Yeah. 9,000.

10,000. Always stopping at 10,000. So move it 10. There we go. Now we get to find out how much of it would have been. I'm going to start it. One more time. All right.

So it goes to 11. It's going to 12. Oh, it was 11. It was at 12. So that was worth 12. Oh, now he's taking the 12. And now I'm taking the 12 off. So we now know none of the numbers

will can stop at 12. I see what you mean. Oh yeah, there is a, you get better. You know more as the game progresses. Yeah, right. It's going to happen. Yeah, okay. Next one then.

Here we go. So I'll have to pull out Magenta. Right. Turn Magenta over. We can no longer play Magenta. And he's, and that means. I've only removed 12. So 19.

cards to go. I'm going to go with purple, and that is number 19. Here we go. Yes, ready. Ready to go? Yeah. Off we go. Begin. 1,000, 2,000, 3,000, 5, 6, 7. Oh, he's stopping it, 7. So you move your 7 spaces, 7 grand. Pull it out a little bit, I guess. And I don't do that.

Oh, no, I mean, the lap. I mean, no, I'll get. get my penis out for you. My laptop. My laptop. My laptop. It was in the way. It was the board. We've had to squeeze the board game on my desk.

Squeegee. It's like a muddled round. Right. OK, my go then to see how far I get. Malady. It's at 7,000. Let's see how far I can go. Okay.

Seven, eight, eight, nine, ten. Oh my God. Oh, so I can't move. So I can't move. It was 11. I should have stopped it. I'm going to slap you up.

Remove 11. Right, and move 11. Turning 11 over. We're going to get rid of purple. We'll get rid of purple. Purple over there. Right, Eli, you pick the next color, mate. I'm going to go for Sapphire.

All right. Ready? Yeah, begin. Right, now it's ready to go. Ready? Yeah. Go. 1,000.

It was 1,000. So that's all right, then. In that, I guess we both don't really shit in there. It's your go to pick one now. It is. Right. Get Sapphire out. I'm going to go with caramel number one.

Oh, feeling a bit peckish. Finger of fudge. Does that have caramel in? Fudge. It's what it's called fudge. It's the same. Right, ready? To go?

Yeah. Right, this is caramel number one. Go. Two. Oh, that's a tricky one that. The early numbers are really hard. So we can still see them now, but we know those have gone. Right, so caramel was only two grand.

Eli's still at what? 18K. 8K. Come on. Right. Okay. What card, Eli, it's your colour next.

You pick. Champagne. Champagne. Will it offer riches for Eli? It's 11, right? Ready, setting it. Setting champagne. Ready to go?

Yeah. Three, two, one. Begin. Here we go. 1,000. You know it's not 2,000. So between 3 and 10 now. 4,000, 5, 6.

Oh, Eli, stopping at 6,000. one, two, three, four, five, six, taking you to what? 24. 24K. So he's already a third of the way there to the main target now. Now, let's see. Now, let's see how much Paul will risk because... What did I stop on six?

Six. So, let's see, because this could stop at any of them, really, now. Here we go. Seven, eight. I need to get more than at least ten. Oh, you're... It's slapped on ten. You're going to get fucked, mate.

I've decided. I was just thinking I hate this game. Then when you start losing, I start to like it. Yeah, that's not fun though, is it? It's not fun for anyone else. Right, well, there you go. Mask off. Right, 10.

I only enjoy life when I'm ahead. Well, what would you do without a body? Oh, I'm in a fat. Rough, rough, rough, rough. Why did you say rough, rough? Because I'm doing it now. It's now my character. That's not your character.

Champagne is gone. So we are, what? One, two, three, four, five down. Christ. Right. Next card, Eli. It's up to you to pick. What do you want? What colour?

Violet. Put violet in. I'll dial nine. Is it nine? Yeah. Because this computer knows which ones have been played and which numbers have been used. So violet number nine, here we go. And we begin in three, two, one. Start the clock. Start the timer. One thousand. Two thousand. Three.

Four. I need to move. Five. Oh, Eli's doing it little by little. Maybe that's what the game I should play. But there are still quite, right, you've moved up to 29. I'm still at eight. Hang on, here we go. Come on, mate.

There's still a lot of big numbers left on the board, though, so I'm happy to risk it. If I can just get past nine, you might be all right. Nine. Okay, can't be ten, can't be eleven, can't be twelve, I'm safe. So 13, come on, give me 15. Give me 15. Please give me 15.

Oh, I'm stopping at 15, you're dirty bastards. So I moved you? Yeah, move me 15. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, 14, 15. He's made up a lot of ground there. I'm high on now. 23. Now, how we need to know when it breaks?

Here we go. 15, 16, 17. 6. 17. Is it? 17. Remove 17 from the board. Oh, big money. Big money. Big money. Big money. Right. Here we go.

Right, let's get rid of Violet. All right. You'll go to choose. Is it? Yes. Oh. Right. I'm going to get a plum out. I'm going to get plumb out. Plum for 15. Get one plum out.

One hairy plum, everybody. 15. Here we go. 15. Number plum. Oh, shit. You ready? Here we go.

Three, two, one. Okay, here we go. One. 2,000, 3,000, 4,000. Oh, 5 denied. Right, get rid of five from the board. No movement there for either of us. That was a plum, rum move.

Right. Well, that means the bigger numbers will be left. Oh, that's. bronze. Oh, he's going to put bronze in. Setting 10 on the board. Ready, three, two, one, begin. Right, bronze.

So if we get past 2000. Three and four are still in play. But no, nothing there. Five, six thousand still in. Oh, are we stopping it? Six thousand. Eli goes again. Three, four, five, six.

Right. I'm going to play on. Six thousand. He's going to try and push it. This gets past nine. I might be all right. He's going to try and push it past nine. Nine.

Nine. Okay. We're in the big monies now. 13, 14, 15, 16. I need to get at least 15, I think, to stay in the game. Please give me 15. I'm going to stop at 15. I'm stopping at 15 again.

Well done. Well, well played. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 30, 14, 15. I've snipped a head. He's slipped ahead. To 38. But let's see what was on the board left on bronze. It must be one of the big guys.

It's one of the big ones. 18. It was 18. 18's on. off the board. So that means a big number's gone right there and then. Oh, now I don't like the way this is split with the number of small numbers compared to big. Well, there's sort of three islands of numbers. You've got the three to nine, 13 to 16 and then 19 and 20. The big boys left as well. So that's going to make you want to gamble because you know what I mean? You're going to hold on tight. Right. I'm behind now. Your card color pick now. It's not my color card pick. Is it not? No, it's not. I've got bronze. Oh, okay. Yeah. In that case, I'm just going to go with Ivy. Ivy for 20. All right, so setting the IV, here we go.

Ivy is set. Three, two, one. Right, so we know it's not one or two. So here we go into three or four thousand. Now, Eli's staying at four thousand. So Eli's now on thirty-nine and I'm on thirty-eight. How far do I go? He's going to go for one of the big boy numbers.

He's going to have it. I'm going on, five, okay, six, seven. There's going to still be. numbers on the board. Oh! 8,000. Yeah, you don't move. And we get rid of Ivy off the board.

Oh, oh, Eli, the tension's powerful. I see how it gets more tense now because you know what's remaining. Yeah, right, okay. What color, Eli? Up to you. Let's go Aqua. Aqua, if I could turn back time,

I would ask you to pick another. Put it on the board. Stop flipping it over. Sorry. Five. Here we go. Setting Aqua number five on the board. Okay.

Ready to go. Three, two, one. Countdown begins. So you know it's not one or two thousand. We've got three or four. So he's going to move two. Fine, I'm starting my go. Don't beat. Don't be seven.

I know what I'm going to do. Come on, baby. Go beat that one. I'm going to stop at nine. Oh, well done. Nine. I'm going to stop at 9,000 there. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

I'm at 47. Eli's at 41. we're removing aqua off the board. What happens when you run out? Well, then whoever's furthest the long wins. Well, that's stupid, isn't it? It is stupid, but we only got to go to there, mate, so we're more than halfway.

We're more than two-thirds there, actually, at this point. I'm starting to hate the game now. Shut up, come on, it's thrilling now. He's winning everyone. Exactly, so now I'm enjoying it. Now I hate it. Now I'm enjoying it a bit more. You're going to pick a color.

Pick a color. They're not pit pointless. They all have a value, don't they? He's picking pink. Right, I didn't turn it over, did I? Put it in? No, pink. Number two.

Slip the pink in. Right, so now I'm going to put in... Oh, white. Oh, it's the halfway point, is what it's saying? It's saying it's the halfway. Meaning what? That we're halfway. Yeah, so?

Now there's 10 cards left. Big whoops. I'm just saying there's 10 cards left. I'm setting pink number two. Here we go. Ready to start, Eli? Yeah. Three, two, one.

Right, we know three and four's gone. I think you have to stop on a number that's available. You stopped on two and I let you have that. I think you have to stop on a number that's available. Oh. Eli stops it. Well, you know, you had to stop at 30. I'm going to give you 13.

I did stop at 13. Well, I'm going to give you 13 anyway. Move 13. Okay, sorry. I'm just saying that counts as 13 because 12's already gone. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. Oh, right. I can see the target.

Here we go. I'm going to continue on. So he said 30 and I can't pick that. I'm going to go. Oh, I'm going to stop at 15. I'm going to stop it 15. I had to. Well done.

So I just got your hit. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fourteen, fifteen. Sixty-two, I am. Do you have to hear it exactly? No, you've got to go past it. First one to go past it. Oh, your dirt bag. So I might have won this.

I might have won it, but pink, let's see how much pink was worth. So pink is going to top out at 17K, which is already gone. He must have moved it by accident. It's not working. Now it's not working. Any victor of this game is illegitimate. No, it's not. Especially if it's Paul, everybody.

Right. So this could be the last round. Eli, pick a number. Orange. I mean yellow. Yellow. Number seven. Number seven, I'm typing in.

Just remind me of a tweet I saw today, like a classic tweet. Go on. Where someone goes, isn't it funny how... I can't remember. Good. I'll keep that bit in, mate. Good stuff. Right.

You've picked 11. No, you picked yellow. Number 7. We're going to start it. Right? So here we go. Ready to begin? Yeah.

Three, two, one. Oh, two. Now, do you agree with me that I think maybe there's something wrong now? It seems to have been reset and we've got numbers that were off the board back on the board. I don't know what's happened. Well, I think. You win. I win because we got to 62 and Eli got to 54 before it all went to shit.

Agree? Agree? Yeah. I have won the game. Did, did, did, do, do, did, do, did, do, do, do, do, do, do, tail it off. That was the colour of money. You can see why it didn't catch on. I can see why it didn't catch on.

It has one thing, which is the chicken element, as we discussed earlier. Yeah, and I would say it's not enough. And it does involve, there's a strategy because you know what's left, the options that are remaining, because if you eliminate the numbers. I don't understand why the 10 card mark, it shuffled everything, and then the prices were all back on the board again because it does, honestly,

it does not say that in the rules. And last night, when I played it by myself, it was fine. I got to number 10 before I, when I won, so I didn't see what happened when it got past 11.

Weird. So I'm not sure what went on there. Yeah. Anyway, it's all right. I didn't like it. Didn't like the game. No. What would you give it out of five?

I'd give it two. I would probably be a little fair and give it three. It has some replay value, which like, you know. It's just weird. It is weird. It's weird how they thought this,

they must have been the deal was to produce the board game. He must have been tied up with the production of the show itself. Already planned before the show was cancelled. Yeah, easily. Because otherwise, what's the point? And as I say, this would have benefited for being more electronic. You know, if it had like the scoreboard down as an electronic countdown,

as well as the colour cards. It's all a bit pointless, the colour cards turning them over. And also, there's nothing about colours. No, there's no colour. All the colours are. So it's just... It's associates a number to associate with a price. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So you could just say... It's all really abstract. You can see why Charlie Brook was like, This is just, it's just all mechanism and no play. Well, that's like Google and no deal, though, when you think about it. Yeah, but that's so simple, but that's so simple. But the game is in their heads.

It's how much complicated they decide to make the game. No, it's all about statistical analysis. It is, but to be honest, no one who ever gets the chance to play, it really has any fathoming of what might mean. It's the Monty Hall problem. Yes, I know it's the Monty Hall problem, the three-door issue, right? But my problem is, with deal or no dealers, yes, you can play all those statistics. But ultimately, when it's you versus the banker,

It's look. Oh, there's a luck element. But no, there's a different... And then you invent the rules in your head, like, oh, number seven is my good luck number. Well, that's superstition. Yeah, but that's more important than, oh, well, 13's only come up 400 and 20 times in that position on the board. That's also superstition.

What I'm talking about is, you know all the prices, you know which ones have already been opened. So you know the odds of your one being one of the ones that remain. You can work... There are maths. Yeah, yeah. There's maths involved. Again, I'm saying to you, most people who are on the games you aren't using that in their head

when they're picking the boxes. But some are. I'm sure some are. And the way the banker works out his offer is all to do that as well. Because the banker know where the stuff is in the boxes. He does know. All right. I didn't know that was the thing.

I thought he was just guessing as well. I don't know. Anyway, cool of money. Half decent idea. I don't know whether the banker knows, actually. But either way. The banker might know what's in their box. I don't want to talk about deal or no deal.

The banker doesn't have a box. I don't care about the banker. I'm on about this. This is a fine game that I can understand was dead on the vine before it got successful. It's just crazy. It must have been Tarant's StarPack. I'll be in this for money. Yeah, maybe.

You know? Maybe it got the green light after he said yelled it. He thought it had the tarant touch. And as we all know in this industry, don't ask for the tarant touch. Really? No, that's not true.

Moving on. That's not true. That's not true. But I'm going to start it right now. Don't work with Tarant if he gives you the Tarant touch. Anyway, that was the colour of money. And now we end the show. Bye.

And what an episode of Cheap Show for the Annals that was? Paul, that certainly was another episode. episode of Cheap Show. Why, I can't believe it's been another episode of Cheap Show. And we'll be back next week. There's another whole episode of Cheap Show. We're coming out of you. We're coming down the line.

Like sausages. And there's... They are like sausages, aren't they? I think there's a new cheapshots come out this week as well. They're like sausages. Sausages. We're just a sausage machine, aren't we? Plob.

Plob. Plob. It's a little bit connecting tissue. It's like when you do a big long poo and your rectum pinches at certain points and then just like segments it up. Segment it up for you. Nice and... Yes, our podcast is like that. A winking dog egg bursting through a dog ass. Coming out of the old.

Why the dog? The dog is always present. All right. You didn't have dogs. You didn't have dogs. You didn't have dogs. No, I didn't. Isn't that so weird how the dog?

I couldn't be trusted with a dog. That's why. Even when you were child. Yeah. Oh my God. Get off. Did you have cats? Yeah.

You did have cats. Yeah, I wasn't attracted to cats. I know. Right. Anyway, moving on. That was this week's episode, a cheap show. Thank you. Thank you. Our one-stop shop for All Things Cheapshoot is our website.

Thecheepshow.com.com. At UK. And if you go there, why? Every episode has a dedicated page with images and sometimes videos. We have links to our YouTube channel, links to some merch. We've got links all over the bloody shop to our socials and such. Like Instagram and B Sky and threads. But ultimately, we'd like to say a big thank you to the people who make making this podcast

possible every single week. And that is our fantastic Patreon supporters, who have been keeping us going for nearly, as the email said today, 11 blood, bloods. years. So thank you to everyone who comes to us on patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Give what you can, but only if you can and if you can't help spread the word, review us online, all those kind of lovely things, including our YouTube channel. And that's all the admin done for that really. Thank you, patrons, we love you for keeping the dream alive. You know that John Rogers this week? Have you seen the John

Rogers? No, I haven't seen John Rogers up around me. Is he? All up around me. Walking up to. Yeah, you're house. He was supposed to be walking up to, I think it's Broomfield Park in Palmer's Green where I shot. Clankerman. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Because we were up there. Yeah, we were up there the old day.

And you know what? The video starts and he's like, I'm going up to Broomfield Park, walking up near around where I live. And then he goes, oh, it's raining as fuck. Do this another day. Really? He's honest. It was ironic.

At least he's honest and used the footage. I mean, it has been atrocious weather, everyone. Atrocious weather in the UK. Even now it howls and blows outside, but now it's actually, now that I look, it's stopped for a bit. There is a spit of spatter on the window, but there is a spitters, but there. but there's a clearness in the sky. Yeah.

And I had some sun on my face. So today hasn't been that bad because I've got, coming up on the Met line, I had a lovely, lovely sun on the face. I... I... Collect and play...

Can you stop fidgeting when I'm trying to do my... My life is falling apart. I both collect and play records and I have a radio show on internet radio, everyone. So if you like that kind of thing, funk soul, boogie,

psych rock, even. Reggae Scarve, that kind of thing. Please listen to the House of Pickle Sound Show on Soho Radio every two weeks and you can hear episodes on Mix Cloud as well. Hello, sorry, message. That's here, message. I'm done.

All right, cool, because we've got a message here. Just come in now. Oh, it's Brand off. It's a content house thing again, isn't it? So, uh, apparently John Gunsey listened to the podcast and he's not happy. I left the message. I left the message of Brandoff.

He was on for over an hour. Yeah, but I cut it all out, didn't I? I just literally put the beginning of the end. I'm not going to have one hour of fucking gunty food reviews of Vienetta. Well, actually, because he recommended that other one, the Diodata. Yeah. Bloody tasty as fuck, man. Non-dom plour, that isn't it?

It's non-n-plah. That's what it was. No, so, I mean, I think he's adding value, actually. Well, he wasn't because a lot of that review was talking about his skin condition. Yeah. It's not a review. It's an unfortunate thing. It's not a review when you talk about Exma, is it?

Especially when he's doing it over the Vianetta. It kind of puts me off eating it. It was like parmesan. It was. And he was eating it. Did you see he was eating the long skin? flags off the top of the vionetta. He didn't notice that.

I was in the NX room making a cup of tea. I had to sit there as I watched his skin flake onto the vionetta and then he scooped it up and it was melty as well. The warm, wet vionetta with skin flakes into his mouth. And then he gives a review. It's like, how can I take that seriously when it's tainted? It's warm.

Room temperature vionetta was skinning. Do you want me to play this message? Yeah. I'll haul up to the phone. Here we go. Ruff-rough t on the phone. He is very upset, Ruff-Rof-Rof. He was told you, you promised me, You'd give him a food review segment.

And what I've listened, he played it back to me, Roff-F-Rof, and that was not a segment. We both know that was never a segment there. All right. Now, I've got a lot of eggs frying in the pan with Content House. There's a lot of infrastructure work going on in the Content House. I really need Guntie off my back. He's got his wife.

She's much more formidable, let me say, than Gunty. She's on my back, sometimes quite literally. Rof Rof, I just need this one, just please, just appease Gunti, Rof, Rof. Well, there's going to be big trouble. All right, that's all he said. Let me leave a message in reply. Hang on, here we go.

Recording. Hello, Brandoff. Okay, I'll think about it going forward. Tell Gunti that I've used the uncut version for our Patreon supporters, and they've loved it. They said it was the best thing ever. And so I might make it just a Patreon exclusive.

Also, all that racist shit, he said in it, I had to cut out. So there's also that to think about. So maybe 10. Tell him if he wants to be on a podcast with a general audience, a comedy one. Maybe don't lead with his eugenics theories right off the bat. Is that all right? Could you do that?

I don't know where he's getting that from. He didn't, Paul, don't. He didn't really. I'm saying this to. I know, but I'm saying this to Brandoff, so he doesn't come back at me. Because you know, he doesn't like confrontation when it comes. It doesn't matter. I'm just giving him a reason why I cut it all out.

So that's why I had to give it to our Patreon supporters who are much more into eugenics, all right? That's why they liked it. Anyway, look, going forward, it will be a Patreon. exclusive content, McGonty's reviews, all right, okay? Thank you, Brandoff. I'll speak to his wife because I've got a number and she listens to me. Oh, she listens to me. Well, that's this week's episode of Cheap Show.

Bye, everybody. See you next week. Take care, Katty bye, bye, bye-bye.