CheapShow - Ep 476: Daring Degustation

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

It’s been a while since we had a good old fashioned, full on instant noodle taste test on the podcast, so it’s time to fix that problem this week. Eli has come packing some serious noodle heat with three fascinating new varieties to munch on. We’re sure you will devour their expert opinions. There is a creamy curry one, a pork broth comfort snack and a chili chicken treat, each prepared differently. It’s Noodle Heaven! Just in case things become too much for you, Paul manages to squeeze in a quick new Tomy game called “Spin-fessions” that sparks a few interesting true stories. Oh, it’s a proper tasty pod… and some old faces reappear for some weird, nefarious reason. The plot thickens… See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-476-daring-degustation www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

I'm feeling lush, baby. Loosh? Slippy. Oh, are you slippery when wet? I'm slippery when hard. Goodbye, everyone. See you next week on Cheap Show. Slippery went hard.

Slippery went hard. That's what they should have called that record. Slippery? No, because it's meant to talk about ladies, isn't it? No, it's not, is it? Yeah, slippery went well. Did they admit that? Well, no, but everyone knows it, don't they?

It's what they say, idiot. No, Bon Jovi never admitted it. Yeah, yeah. John Bon Jovi never admitted it. So? Why would he call his album, Slippery When Wet? Well, oh, he's really into corridor safety. Maybe.

And maybe he likes, you know... What? You know, maybe he's very into safety. And apparently... No, I'm going to let you get to wherever he is. You're going to go with this. So go on. You know, he was a bit of a sex symbol, wasn't he?

Oh, John. John, John Bon Jovi. Yeah. Von Bon Jovi. Yeah. Nom, nonplar, Jovi. Don, Don, Jovee. Don, Jovey.

Yeah. That was a shortcut to where I wanted to go anyway. Oh, was it? No, they used to throw their knickers at him. Yeah, they did. So perhaps he was like, oh, the stage is slippery when wet with the goo-goo. The clung-tide of a thousand fans. The gusset marks of a hundred ladies' pants all over the stage.

The slippery sloppage of the gungy gush. That's why he called it slippery when wet. I wonder why he did now. Do you know what I saw today? On my phone, I've got an episode of Breaking the Band that I appeared in. I did the documentary as their famous corrupt manager, Doc McGee. Doc McGee.

Oh, Bon Jovi's manager, Doc McGee. Yeah, and he managed other groups as well. Well, I'm presuming he did. He took them all to Russia, and the theory was that Doc McGee was KGB. CIA or KGB. And he was bringing people over to Russia to integrate Western values or whatever.

It was a massive thing just before the fall of the Berlin War. Oh. He organized a massive tour, Bon Jovi, other groups, all those hair metal. You know, they were the king as a hair metal. weren't they basically. They were, yeah, at the time. They weren't even...

But they were soft, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft. Yeah. You know, like living on a prayer, soft, soft, soft, soft, soft rock. Yeah, no, it's fine. Desmond Childs, I believe. What else did Bon John, John Bonne, von Domplard do? Living on a player? Yes.

I'm not going to let that go. Living on a prayer. Yeah. That's their big one. Yeah. Then they had... Tommy used to work on a dark. Then they also had...

My personal favourite. Yeah. Your love is like bad medicine. Oh, yeah, bad medicine. Also Desmond Childs, I believe, is the songwriter. He's one of these big 80s sort of rock pop. This is quite a long intro, isn't it? This is quite a long cold open where Eli just talked about what he knows about.

No, what another really good Bon Jovi song is. Go on. I'm a cowboy. Oh yeah, dead or alive. Dead or alive. Which, you know, if you go into Russia, it's a concern, isn't it? Anyway, they used my voice. They said they wouldn't.

They pay me about 20 quid a day. Wouldn't give me lunch because of COVID. They go, no, you don't even fucking get lunch. You don't need to eat. You don't need to eat. No. We'll all eat. everyone else. That's what we think of you.

Actors. Right. And they literally, it was literally 50 a day or something. Right. And they said they weren't going to use your voice. And then they sent me, part of the contract was they send you a copy of the finished TV program. Art of Gash, obviously. Yeah, good stuff. And they said, no, don't worry because we were improvising these scenes. And I was going, hey, I'm Doug McGee.

Hey, buddy. John Bovi. Hey, John Bon Jovi, come over here. How dare you get married? All of your fans want to throw their petties at you. I'm Doc McGee. went wet. Yeah.

It's meant to be slippery when hard. Is it? Hey. And I was, they were like, oh, that's great, Eli. Don't worry, we won't be using the voice. We're going to dub.

No, we won't use any voice. That would mean you'd have to pay. Yeah, you would. But then when I watched it, there's me. I can hear me go, I'm down McGee. What's the matter here? What's our did's about?

A terrible accent. Right, hello, welcome to cheap show. That was the Bon, John, Bon Jovi part of the show. John Bon Jovi. He's not slippy. He's not sloppyy. He's a little man. He's Toby.

He knows actor Russell Tovey. He's a man. Goose, Goosh, he's a man. Goose, Coosh, Gush, Gush. Gush, Gush. Uncle, what are those ones? We've got to stop this cold open. What are those, those crunchy bars called?

Topics. No, the ones that are like healthy called Tom's, aren't they? Mr. Tom. No, Mr. Tom. No, Mr. Tom. Yeah, but they're crunchy bars. More? What's going on?

Bon Jovi. Mar, did you say Mar? Ma. Mondon Blah. Come on. Stop this. This is now an episode. of Cheap Show. Welcome.

Cheap Show to my mother, boy. Have you got any housework to get out of the way, Paul? Well, I've got a bit of hoovering to do. The cat's been her pulling some of its hair out. Pulling it? Yeah, he gets anxiety when he doesn't get his way and sometimes he pulls his hair out. Wow, you've got a dysfunctional cat relationship.

No, he's lovely, but sometimes when he doesn't get his way, has a little fit. What do you mean? What does that mean? Sometimes when... Fanny. He's talking about Fanny. Is that what it is?

Talking about Fanny. He's not a problem with getting near Fanny. I get near a fanny I know I know you get near Fanny American or British term I get it Hello, welcome to Cheap Show

I'm Paul Gannon I'm Ely Silfman Thank you let's get that out of the way I'm just saying When you said Oh when he doesn't get his way It's almost like you're It's almost I can read into that

That you're not That you're being mean to You're being mean No what happens is What is his way What does he want A little scitch Attention

He wants a little screeching Yeah but you don't live with it mate You don't understand He'll come over to me He'll get like a good hours Worth as Scritchard and cuddling, and then he goes and eats, then he comes back about 40 minutes later,

meow, meow, meow, you've had your screeching for the day. You've had your screeching, make calm down. You know what I mean? And then he starts meowing. And then, like, for instance, if I'm editing the podcast and he wants to jump up on my lap. But then I got to cuddle him when he jumps on my lap. So that slows me editing down. So unfortunately, I say, bad boy, you go away now.

And that's when he has his little strop and then you see little tufts of hair on this. Really? Yeah. Anyway, welcome to Cheap Show. It's my podcast. my podcast about cheap things. Abundantly clear. Abundantly clear.

No, but this is fine, mate. It means all the responsibilities, man, and you never get the blame for things. That's how you like it, isn't it? Yeah. Hands off Eli. Yeah. Hands off Eli.

Yeah. He's hands off and I recommend people don't touch him. That's hands off Eli. Why? Do you see my t-shirt? Mad Paul. Oh, I like that. Where'd you get that from?

I got it from Mind in Camden. Not that mind. Shelter. Right. The one isn't called Mind at all. It's called Shelter. That's called Shelter. It's quite boutiquey.

They do have good t-shirts there often. I like that. That, I believe, is a group. Because Mad Bulls were the toys. Yeah. But the picture does depict one of the toys. One of them looked like that, didn't you? I actually don't think that is an official Mad Ball toy

because it looks like a mashup of different types of mad balls, if you want me to be absolutely honest with you. As a, not a big expert, but I can see there's like two or three different mad balls in that design there. Do you remember round shoes random squeezums? No. I do. Well, they're the gummies with the little liquid inside?

Yeah. That when you bit in, they were squirted and you got. A little squirt. A little squirt. Yeah, let's talk about old things again. Let's talk about the past. Do you remember revels, Eli? Oh. People like that in podcasts, don't they?

I like the coffee ones. I like the coffee ones. I didn't like the orange ones. Oh, they were the worst. Yeah. Do you remember spangles? You remember spangles, Eli? Spangles, the sweet.

What was spangles? Spangles were sweet. No. Spangles. My liver, man. I'm just going to keep on saying spangles until you agree or disagree with the state. What's that got to do with anything? When you say.

Spangle, I get a vivid image in my brain of a big spunk bubble like hanging off a string. Doesn't the word spangle make you think of a spunky string? All bubbles, all bubbling off. A bit like a lava lamp in reverse. Blob, blobs, smoke bubble, blobs down, smoke bubble, blobs down, smoke bubble. Hello everyone, I'm Eli Silverman. Yeah, the podcast fear is just full of white guys talking about any old shit they want. Yeah, it is. but at least our shit's crap.

No, there are things. I'm going. Where are you going? I'm getting this. This is content. We didn't use this last week. I'm going to pull it out now. He's got something.

It's another golden game. It's a spinner. Oh, is it tommy? Is it? I thought it was Tomi. I don't think so. It is. It says tommy.

Wow. It's a tommy game called Spin Fessions. Oh, yeah. And you play it in the box. It comes in, which is kind of like a pizza box with this spinning dial in. Listen. Are we going to play some now? Just a very quick one, yeah.

Because basically, it's a party game of confession. lies and total embarrassment. So, for instance, on the outside, it's got things like oddest place, riskiest place, and on the inner ring, because they spin at the same time in opposite directions with one flick of the dial. You get the qualifier for the question. Where was the riskiest place that you? Like if I spin it now, and then the arrow on the box says,

weirdest thing you've said yes to, but wanted to say no to. Well, uh... Every other thing that you get asked to do. Some of the things I did on digitiser, I said yes to even though did I really want to dread up as a chicken and pretend to get shot by ashes and stuff? Not really. That was one of the best bits. Yeah, but come on, mate.

We all saw my nubbing. Oh, it was the nubing problem. And the whole prong water thing in my mouth from that stuff. So there are things. What about you? What have you said yes to that? You should have said no to. I can't think of a single thing.

Weirdest thing. I can't think of a single thing. I'm up for weird things. Yeah, I know you are. I'm usually up for it as well, but sometimes I... Talk about nubbing. Forget. Do you remember when I used to do the humble quest for a universal genius?

Yeah, that's probably it. Well, they called the sexetard. Yes. Which was this leotard, but it was very tight on me. And gold. Wasn't it very gold? It was gold and spangly. Spangly.

I would say that's probably the weirdest thing you've said yes to that. Yes, you definitely should have said no to. Why? Because I look like a weird nubbing boy. Because it looks like you had like a skull in your fucking groin area. Yeah, it wasn't good. It was very tight around the nubs sties. Yeah, it's a very haunting image.

So it made it smaller than... Smaller than it would appear in real... life in the bedroom scenario, Paul. In which case, it's like, it's all soft and it goes... Objects in the rearview mirror may appear larger than they are. I think that's Desmond Childs as well.

Is it? Yeah, there's a link here. Is there? That's a meatloaf song, obviously. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it is. You're right. Yeah.

Object in the rearview mirror may be closer than they are. Yeah. I don't know if that's how it goes. He always had those kind of songs. I wonder which one came first because there's that one. I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.

Yeah. Which means take it up the ass. Although, is that gone? Is he saying he won't take it up the ass or he won't put his up her ass? Like she's like, she's saying, oh, come on, come on, come on. And he's like, I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that. Or she's saying, I've got this fucking cucumber. Yeah, it's a full peg.

I want to peg you out. And he's like, come on, love. I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that. I've had surgery up there. That's why it's delicate. Basically, she's coming at him. That's my reason. They're driving.

She's coming at him. Come on, meatloaf. He's driving. She's in the back with a hand out of the window with a big dildo going, come on, come on. Come on. Bebe. Come on.

He's like, oh, I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that. And she goes, come on, mate. Objects in the rearview mirror. May I'll be closer than they are. It's smaller. Don't worry. Don't worry about it. I'll loom it up.

Breaking him. I can't believe what I said or. What if it's something like murder? What if she's like, I've just killed my dad. He was a hateful dad, a drunk and I killed him. You've got to help me bury the body. I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that. Paul and Eli do the best 90 style stand-up comedy material for you today.

Mate, I think... I'm going to spin this again. Thank you. Go on. Okay. Who's going to do this one, though? We both do it. We both did the last one.

I'm letting this spin naturally this time. Right. A time when you've laughed and couldn't stop... Oh my God. The many times... Is that it? That's both things. Yeah, because it reads the outer,

and the inner ring and the outer is the setup to the qualifier on the inner. A time when was the set up. Yeah. A time when you've laughed and... couldn't stop. When I went to see a production of an adaptation of John Fowles, the collector, a stage play version, and it was at the Colville up in the Midlands, and it was this place, it was this crazy sort of metal theatre that was like a standalone thing that they'd built during the war or something.

Oh, okay, very blue to let's be that. No, it was like a sort of portable thing, like made of metal. The whole thing was tin, and they'd pack it up and put it on a train or something and tour it around the country. But it was like one of these weird, very strange thing. Anyway, the collector is a story about a man who collects butterflies who also killed ladies. Yeah, wasn't that used in like a serial killer case or something?

The collector, like one of the books that the killer was read. Yeah. However, this stage version had a lead who was doing... It's making me laugh now. It's very serious play. Yeah, no, it's grim. Yeah. Part of the thing was the murderer, the collector character, was played by this man.

It was only a few of us in the audience. It's not a huge audience. It was maybe like 60, 50 people in the audience. You know, it's quite a small, weird theatre. Intimate. And he kept going monarch, Admiral Blu. And then... Oh, like, he's reading out the names of butterflies.

Lifting the names of butterflies and the repetition. And I was just like, you know, watching it thinking, yeah, it's a bit funny. And then I turned, the lady I was with, who I was doing a stage show at the time. Yeah. Was like, ha, ha, ha. And then it was like, oh, no.

Do you know what I mean? And it's like, they can hear me. And it's completely inappropriate. And then he goes, Monarch Blue again. You know what I mean? Yeah. That is the most delicious type of laughter when it is like you really shouldn't. When you can't laugh.

Yeah. That, I find that that fucking gets me. And it's always Ponzi. And it always reminds me of a story my dad used to love to tell. When he was a young man, he went to see some really sort of highbrow concert performance like classical music. Yeah. But it was like for modified piano. And basically this guy sits down.

He's got the coat tails at the piano. And like it's these weird modified piano pieces. Like people just put a sort of wedge in between some of the piano strings. Oh, right. Okay. So it's like dingle, dingle, ding, thong. Every time he hits that tonk! And then he apparently just lost it because it was just so solemn and serious when they're just

tong-tong-tong-dong-dong-dong-dong-d-ding. You don't think of a time? Well, can you think of a time? Like that kind of thing. Yeah. Anyway, can you think of a time? No, I don't find anything funny. Wow.

No, I honestly think I did. I think in my brain, I want to see. say, there was an episode of Cheap Show we did where I remember losing myself so much laughing that I was almost sick. And I think it was either the episode we did with the fish song. You know, the little candy thing. And we've made a song over it. Yes.

It's either that. It was something to do with that. You know, we did it how to hug a crocodile. And I remember, like, there was just something about that that set me off. Yeah. Yeah. So that was good. Can I spin it?

Yeah, go on you spin it one more time. You don't even have to take it out of the box? No, it's meant to stay in its box because the arrows in it. Oh, is it meant to it? Yeah. That's an interesting design, isn't it? It does come with, like, poker chips and things to write answers on and stuff. There's a game in there.

It's not just a disc. But then you're meant to take those out and then put it back in the box when you actually play. Yeah. Again, build quality's great. Totally, in it. It's Tommy, isn't it? Oddest place. Yeah.

Well, you pick one of those two. Oddest place, what? You've done for love or romance. Yeah, up the shit pipe. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'll do for love. Fucking meatloaf. I'll get my meatloaf out and put it up your ass.

How about that? No, come on. Where's, where's... an oddest place for love. I don't know that's a weird one. I never told you when I took a shit in a rock... What's I got to do with love? In a rock pool.

What are they called rock pools? They're called rock pools. You know, at the sea, you've got the... Yeah, a little rock pool. Yeah. Like a patchland of rocks. It's got to do with love. And then I took a shit.

What's I got to do with love? I just feel like you wanted to tell... Is it so boring, is it? Oh, I fucked someone on a balcony. That's not necessarily what it's fucking talking about. What's it talking about then? What's it said? The oddest place you've done.

for love or romance. So what's the oddest place you've taken a date or the weirdest place you've taken a date? I don't think I've done anything particularly. I certainly perp-well, there you go. I need to get on the apps. No more of that? No more.

That's it. Oh, it's fine. That's fun. One more. Where's the weirdest place you've done it? If we do one more, we have to do one less noodle. No. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no.

Full shadowing, everyone. Oh, I press the fucking button. Because we're going to do noodles, right? That was me coming up with content, most of the episode out. It didn't work. buy it in a charity shop, it was £2.50. Good deal for that.

And apparently it's brand new this thing. Whoever wanted it, didn't want it fast enough and put it in a charity shop. Anyway, didn't want it fast enough. Yeah, didn't want it fast enough. I didn't want that any faster than I got it. Take it away. Didn't want it fast enough. That's fine.

I don't get that. Yeah. You bring me something that I don't want. I reject it. I don't want that fast enough. I don't want it's done already. I don't keep saying it. It doesn't make it worse.

Because I'm trying to make it make sense. Oh my God. I tell you what, I don't want this. fast enough doesn't work. I don't want it fast enough. They didn't want it. They don't want that fast enough. They quickly didn't want it.

That's what you're trying to say. You're saying, I quickly didn't want it, so I quickly disposed of it. Yeah, I didn't want that fast enough. Fucking press it, press it. Yeah, that's right. It's noodle time. Noodles, they form a bed that Cheap Show rests upon like a piece of barbecue pork. Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sir. Would you like, would you like, uh, For your segment, sir, I'm still here from last week. Oh, where did you sleep? Yeah, you slept in the attic. Where have you been going to the toilet? I've been in the attic. Oh, my God.

Is that what that smells been here all that whole time? I got a jingle for you, sir. Let me give you a needle. Here we go. Here we go. You can play this one, can you? I can do this one. Oh, it's noodles for you.

And noodles for me. likes those noodles very much, you see. Oh, I say, sir, who woke me up, sir? Well, hello, it's my boyfriend. Hello, sir. I dare say, sir, we're going to keep that under wraps, dear boy. Well, why you want to speak our love true and proud and free, I do? All right, well, it does work, sir, because I've got no sense of smell since the war, sir,

so I can't smell your crusty poo-poo bum. Right, I'm going back to bed, sir. You go there, I'll tuck you in later, my pretty. Come and give me special... I've done a jingle for the nice boys. They let me hear of beer. Sir, Neil, I need special kisses. Sir!

All right, well, I'll come over there. I was meant to go home last week, and I fell in love I did. Paul, what the fuck is going on before these bankers hanging around? I don't know. I didn't know they were in my attic. Explains all the noises. I've got these two old cunts fucking...

I'll do my song. There stinks in here. I'll do my song, and then I'll go. Neil, you need to wash, my friends. I don't have to wash. You don't have to make me. You don't have to make me. You can't make me.

Watch fast enough. I tell you that for a minute. I've heard that. I've picking that up. It's a good phrase. Oh, my God. Here we go. Neil, just do the fucking thing.

Here we go. I like noodles. We like noodles. Who likes noodles? I doodle doodle do. I like noodles. We love a noodles. A noodle.

How do you do? That's right. O'Neil, sir. Do you want Josh it off? I need it real bad, sir. All right. I'll come here then. Oh.

I'm off to Josh, my mate. Off. I'm off to do A couple of things I have a bandit How are you letting these people stay in your house? He's a old man He loves his pot down

Just put him on a train Honestly I'll see you later then Paul it's like I like them both It's like some I like young love Actual particles of

He's a dirty man It's like It's like the other day Weirdly I caught him in my bins I was like what are you doing in my bins He's got no money And he was just like

Treating it like a bubble bath He was like rubbing all the cat food and all the, uh, all the, uh, Oh, that fucking reminds me. Food on him. That reminds me, Paul. I was coming over here today. Paul Cannon's desperate for content and this is all he's got for the next few weeks. No, I like, go on.

That was, I think we all enjoyed the return to the two old weird tramp characters. They're not weird tramps. You made that happen today. Neil is weird. Neil is stinky. He's stinky. All right, they're not tramps, but they're living here. I mean, in the attic.

I would have thought Colonel Musty would have... I don't know. Like a house. With your fucking character. You come up with one now. Anyway, I'm going to... Right, right, don't that. I'm walking to the overground.

Yeah. Fucking police tape cordoned off. Right. And I look in, it's one of these jewelers shops. These Turkish jewelers shops. There's lots of them on Green Lanes. Right. Fucking windows smashed, door smashed.

The moped is still there. There's all these gold fucking bracelets all everywhere in mounds of broken glass. The police are there, obviously. But... Right. Wow. What's that got to do with, like... Anything.

Anything in general? Yeah. Crazy. What a world we live in. I was like, what's that smell? There's a smell like a poopy smell. It's going to be one of these weeks this week. A poopy smell of food.

And I'm like, and then this woman, and she had this weird fluorescent band on her leg over her jeans. And I'm like, weirdo. And then I look past her. There's a cat with a fucking woolly hat on. Obviously belongs to her and she's fed it. But she's basically just emptied a fucking can of cat food into some tissues and it's on the seat. That's what I could smell. That's what I could smell.

smell. And I'm like, oh, ha, ha. Yeah, cat food's nasty. It's like Neil's fucking... Pet food's nasty. But you don't open it on the fucking train. Some people do. Idiots. And people with no social conscience. Welcome to modern day Britain. Right, fucking noodles.

You know what we need in this day and age, Paul? Noodles. This day of grim reality, cutting home, cutting in. What we need is noodles. Instant noodles. It's the foundation upon which Cheap Show was very much built. Instant noodles. Time.

fun. I like noodles. Yes, that's one. He's got three and we will treat ourselves to or will fucking eat. Oh, we will fucking eat. We will fucking eat instant noodles. Now, Paul, we've got three items today. Three noodles today, Mr. Silverman. And I would like you to now go through each and every one of them in minute detail so I could just sit back and do nothing for a bit. The first one, it's a new category, which I, it's not a pot noodle. This is what I'd like to call a box noodle. And basically there's a whole trend of these noodles that are basically being served up to the public in what I would call a takeaway, a standard takeaway container. Yeah, they look like standard takeaway containers, don't they?

Yes. And we covered this. When we walked a new river, we had the self-heating ones. Very much a similar setup to this, which I've got in my hand. This is from the brand Tiger Tiger. Tiger. Not the notorious meat market hookup joint in central London. Is it?

Why don't you go here then? Tiger Tyne? Just around the corner from the... I know of it. I don't know it was a dirty pick-up point. Oh, mate. It was a notorious meat, meat fest. What, for like, anyone?

Yeah. Just anything. Like, in and out stuff. In-and-out stuff. Really? Up front, in-and-out stuff. Yeah. Like fucking...

Oh. Heavy breathing. La. Yeah. Lots of wet sound. Slippery went wet. when what? That is my gooch hole.

Anyway, I should start going up when I laugh like that, shouldn't I? It's more than terrifying when you do it that way if you don't mind me saying. No,

don't like that. Now, Tiger Tiger. I don't know about Tiger Tiger, but I get this feeling that they might be a, that's very much like a, what I'd call like a legacy brand, like Blue Dragon,

sort of old school, almost sort of, 70s vibe, a 70s, a 70s, take on Asian food, British, Anglo-Asian. Do you know what I'm getting at? Yes. Like Patax. These old brands that came from there. And that feigns to sound more traditional and older than they were.

Yeah, that kind of like looking at... Oh, look. It's kind of looks like the Raj. It's sort of like there's a crown. It says Tiger Tiger. It's sort of reminding me of like... There's definitely a crown in the logo. And then underneath it says, unleash the taste. Yes. Like a tiger. You might unleash. Like you could unleash a tiger. I don't know why you want to do that. Might it? Don't want that. This one's called...

Asia Street meal. Why Asia Street? Not Asian street meal. Singapore-style chili chicken. Perfectly cooked noodles ready in two to three minutes, either via the kettle or via the microwave. What will we be using? Microwave. You know why? Because even though it might not be the best way to try it, we very rarely do a microwave noodle, so why not use this one, since it advertises as such? I'm just going to see, if, because we had a famous falling out when we did the self-heating, and I would, I refuse to believe that there was any implements eating to utensils. in the box. And then they popped out.

Skip to the bit where I was right all along. You really had a, you had a little meltdown there. No, I did have a meltdown. It was a moment of pure exaltation. It was proper joy. And it was recorded as well,

which meant it was on record. These are very, very similar. You've got the three packs, three flavour packs in there, two wet ones and one dry one, and a nice pad, like it says, these aren't sort of dry instant noodles.

These are just ready to go, basically. Again, this is very much, I think designed for a British market with the sort of the Tiger Tiger Tiger branding. Oh yeah, no. Also, they had Asia Streetmeal and they also had like Thai this and they also had like Cantonese this.

So they're going for like different pan Asian sort of style, you know, fusion. Yeah. Which is very much what British brands do. I mean, it's covered in the iconography of like China, Asian markets and things like that. It would, what many would say is the Oriental style of advertising. What I'm saying is this brand is obviously

aimed at Brits. So what's it got in it? Rather than like people from Asia. Yeah. What's it got in it though? So you get the noodle pack. That looks like a chili oil. You've got a soup base.

And then what looks like a sort of soy or vinegar. Fine. Textbook. As well as the noodles. And they are like wanton noodles. They're like, you know, little spaghetti size. Looks good, don't it? Yeah.

It's the chicken. The chicken must just be chicken flavoring. I don't think it's going to be. Well, there might be chunks in that yellow pack. All right. So what is the second noodle today? Well, Paul. Yes.

The second noodle that we'll be tasting today is this. Oh, it's a big old pot, that one. Let me just, I'm going to have to look at the translation. Buy Zhang, Instant Bowl noodle, pork bone soup flavour. Put the bone in. Now, I was interested in this because, as we both know, the instant noodle was invented by Mamafuku Ando in Japan, right? Yes.

However, I would suggest to you that the nation that has taken the art of the instant noodle furthest, I mean, I like Nishen, would be the Chinese in terms of variety. All right. And just, I prefer. I mean, I've gone hardcore, and I basically, I like Chinese instant noodles now. They often have little packs of pickled mustard stem or something like that. That's only for the hardcore, you know, because it gets all a bit swampy.

But this is a pork, uh, pork broth. And pork broth famously goes in Tonkatsu Raman, a Japanese dish. Yeah, I like Tonkatsu. Yes. And one of the earliest noodles we covered on this podcast. that I championed was the Nishan black garlic tonkotsu, right? I want to look, I want to use the lens to do stuff because... I want to compare how they do the pork broth.

Because on the cover, it looks very, like, if you don't mind me saying, so, custody. The broth looks very custody, yes. You know, I'm not going to say... It looks like a ladle of wee-wee-wee, everybody. No, not wee-wee-wee. It's very yellow. If your wee looks like that, though, then you've got a fucking huge problem. It always looks like that.

Well, it always looks like, like, thick, mustady. Yeah, it doesn't yours? No, my one comes out... And then it kind of goes in a big sort of... When it touches the toilet and I have to sort of... It's all stringy. It's all stringy. Spangly.

Yeah, it comes out all spangly wee. Like spangly yellow jelly. No, no, my normal just comes out all normal, green and fizzy. It's fine. Weird. Let me just get the lens on this. Is that normal? Yes.

It's jet black and smells of grapes. Yes. That's absolutely normal. So, yeah, this is a company called Bai Zhang, Instant Noodles, Pork, What is slightly worrying? You can't really see the noodles. They're going for the broth. They're trying to sell you the broth because there's a big ladle of yellow broth and then there's some kind of

influencer. Yeah, I don't know who that is. This is something they do. You don't see that on... This says brand new. That's supposed to be a brand new recipe. Right. This features the celebrity Wang Yibo. I'm sorry if I got that wrong. Wang Yibo. He is portrayed as the brand spokesman for the company, a major Chinese food company.

So this is his signature line. So like he just, he's been hired to represent. They do that a lot. They do that a lot with Chinese products. It doesn't say if he has anything else going on though. He must be an actor or, you know, TikTok. Do they have TikTok there? It says actor and dancer here.

Yeah, there go. Oh, and a professional road motorbike racer and racing driver. Wow. He's like... And a member of a boy band called Unique. Wow. He was in 2014. Does he...

He's 28. He's won a bunch of awards for acting, to be fair to him. Yeah, he's been in loads of films. So yeah, fair enough. I will be looking forward to tasting the broth on that. because I want you to have in mind the Nishan Tonkatsu because we have rated Nishin very highly on this podcast before haven't we?

And we are waiting still to receive the American Nishan Dill Pickle Pot. Oh yeah, well, aren't to that? We're hoping that we're arriving time for this week's, but never mind. We'll get on that. So that is your second noodle. All right, next one.

Number three. This is something special now, Paul. Is it special though? This is from company Prima Taste. Oh. Made in Singapore. Singapore curry Lamean Premium noodle

in aromatic smooth rich gravy infused with coconut milk Oh I thought you were to say more stuff Sorry And coconut milk It's also in French Oh wee

Wee we I hope that's not in it Oh I feel tired now I got really tired I got tired quick Sorry What did I don't know

I just got very tired real quick Just then Like sleepy tired I got real cosy I wanted to have a little nap I don't know It was weird MicroSleep

Yeah I love a my god Crow nap. This is a curry. It's a chicken-flavored curry, you can see, and this is a posh noodle. Because I took this, I went to a Chinese supermarket near me,

which is excellent. Right. It is excellent. I've got a whole tray of fucking bean curd rolls for 99P. Been-kirrulls. And I was like, it looks like a fancy one, because it's got this sort of curly writing.

And often, when they try and give an impression of premiumness, they give it a black. With gold writing. Black and gold writing. That's how you do it. Now, I didn't want to spend, I didn't want to spend too much on it, like seven, eight quicks. No, that's ridiculous.

Some of them go that high. Oh, they do. They won't be on this show. You know how much this was? A little price of shite here? Ooh, $199. It was £2.80. Okay.

That's all right. I was like, ooh. And he said, yeah, it's expensive. But he said it's very good. He's tasted it. And it's a good brand, he said. So I don't think I've ever come across this brand before. Prima Taste made in Singapore.

A Singaporeian brand. And do you know what? Singapore have some of the best bloody food. You know what they eat there? This dish called Hainanese chicken rice. Right? Oh, baby. It's like rice that they cook with ginger and garlic, right?

Nice. Nom, non. And then boiled chicken. Yeah. Yeah. With fresh cucumber. Right. And fresh chili sauce.

Right. And then they, on the side, oh God, it's given me one now. All right. On the side, they give you a little bowl of the chicken broth. Can you imagine that? The rice. Can you imagine that, everyone, hey? Heinanese chicken rice.

Can you imagine that everyone? Which I think is a Singaporean speciality, but it's named after a different part of the world. What L-A-N-N-I-A-N? What L-A-N-L-A-N-Lamian? Is that a ladies? Ladies open it. It's when an underwhelming vagina. Slippery when wet, lay-lamean.

What is it? What's a lamean? That's the type of noodle. Oh, okay. It's more thick, ropy. It's the do with a sauce. Meen. You remember there's that Chinese word? Chalmain, you mean? Like that word.

Yeah, I think it's related. The alien there. What's interesting about this is it says, non-fried, thick, round and straight noodles as good as handmade, great. But then it has a little barcode link to an easy cooking video. We'll be watching that. We'll be watching that. Oh, it does actually say on the back, though, it just says, add noodles into 400 millimetres of boiling water

and low boil for seven minutes. At the last two minutes... Oh, that's a long time. At the last two minutes and soup base mix well. Add soup base. Oh yeah. At the last two minutes add suit base mix well. Scan for cove for detailed cooking steps. We'll watch.

We'll have a little watch. We'll have a little. That's longer than your average instant, isn't it? That's verging into normal, normal amount of time. Seven minutes. So we do that on the stove top. We do the Asia Street meal in the microwave. We're going to do them one at a time, aren't we today?

We're going to break it off. They're very varied. We've got three different. types of noodle today. We've got the Asia Street meal, which is box, already cooked noodle. Then we've got classic pot, basically. I reckon we do it in the order, in this order.

The pork broth. The pork broth. Yeah, we do it this order. And then, Piesta Resistance, the Lamean. I'm just a tasty noodle, and everywhere I oodle, people want to slurp me down. Oh, that's Louis Prima taste brand stuff. Oh, my word.

He did it. He did it. You know what else I did? God. Oh, stop, stop. You're pushing too far, mate. But, Lamian. Stop, he's been farting all day, everybody.

I hate too many lentils last night. I know, I don't know. It's all gone out of hand. But it has given him some girth in his fart region. Whereas usually, the typical poor fart, very wet, slippery and wet. And high-toned. Wet and sort of swampy. Yeah.

Today, after the lentil meal, he's gone for a very dry, raspy, robust. Like a witch's cackle. Firm. Like a witch's cackle. Fern Ripper. Yeah, I know her. She's a lovely lady. Who?

Fern Ripper. Awful stuff. Right, which one are we starting with? We start with Asia Streetmeal. All right, we're heading over to the kitchen where we'll be joined at Eli in the Noodle Test Lab kitchen, pop-up kitchen. In the Harrow. In the Harrow's on the Hill.

House on the Hill. Right, let's get to it. Hello, everyone. It's very exciting. Hello, we're in the kitchen. We're in Paul's Kitchen. Unusual for a noodle episode. It is.

Isn't it? But I'm ready to give it a go. But my kitchen is open to all comers. So no one, there's no sign on the door. Everyone's welcome in to cook. Now, we're starting just to remind you with the Singapore-style chili chicken in a box. Tiger Tiger, Asia Street meal. I've checked this is a product of China.

Right. So definitely a brand that is trying to flog. These box that come in a takeaway, because those self-heating ones were from China as well. I think this is the way. that they eat instant noodles a lot in China itself. I tell the microphone don't talk to me. Yeah, and that's what I'm saying,

I'm talking to you, Paul, because you're my friend. Hello, everyone. That's too close now. Now, there's some copy that I didn't read out on the back of this. And I thought, oh, is this going to be some terrible, terribly, either one terribly translated English or two, horrible charmed copy,

or three, horribly racist cultural stereotypes. It's none of those. It's actually quite informative. Paul. Go on. And I quote, this is the back of the pack. In Singapore,

they have a philosophy that encourages harmony of flavors and balance of ingredients. Good. This approach is at the heart and soul of Singaporean cuisine.

Even the bustling street vendors. That doesn't work, does it? Because they're not bustling. The streets of... The bustling... Yeah, see, it's really bad, actually.

I don't know. The bustling street vendors. Yeah, that's not right. Anyway, even the bustling street vendors will tell you of the importance to get it right it says of it should be of rather than two as well you let it's it they're losing me um no but this is a good bit yeah they say the balance of the five taste elements right one one

aromatics right two heat right smell spice three sour oh sour three four sweet right and five what's the fifth salty yes yeah saltiness salty is essential I'm I'm up for that. I'm up for it. And what a balance it is when done right and added to lovely fresh noodles. Yeah, but they can all say this. That's what it says.

We've got to make it. I reckon it's going to be tasty as fuck. Right, well, we're going to make it now anyway. I reckon that thing with that liquid, the dark liquid, is vinegar because that is the sour element, isn't it? I am ready for your dirty degustations. Now, let's, oh, that's a good word,

degustations. It's a do with eating. It's a French word. As in gastronomy. It's the same route as that. that isn't it? We're going to have some dirty degustations. Now let's see what it says. Disgusting degustations, we hope not. Let's see what it says.

I can't get this fast enough inside me. No, that made sense. You can't even return to that. Right, I can't. I have. Look, here we go. What's it saying? But we have to pour the water on it, don't we? Yeah. You have to put some water on it. You have a look. Here we go. What's it saying? Remove noodles from the bag. Oh, I'm doing that. Place inside the container.

All right, I'm doing that. Put the list. Oh, just... Oh, oh. Hang on, have you got scissors? Yeah. Cuts. Scissors. I hand to the handle side. Handle side.

He hands to them handle side off. And I'm sniffy snip. Right. It says remove and then placing the container. So basically take them out of the pack and look, this is what I'm doing for. Yeah. Put the lid loosely. Put the lid on loosely and remove.

And it's stuck in the bag. Oh, the opening's not big enough for the noodles to come. I'm holding myself. I'm down. All right, sorry. There's no need for this. I just like noodles. I know, but there's no need for that behavior.

Is that right? Yeah, loosely. Then put the lid on loosely. And what are we doing these packs, leaving them aside? Wait. Lid is on loose. Microwave for two minutes at high. With no water?

Yeah, hang on. Once microwave, add the sauce, seasoning oil and vegetables, mix and serve. That's literally what it says. No, there's water, because look, there's... He says no water. Look, he's pouring water off there. Yeah, because that's how you do it with a kettle. Oh, you can do it for kettle.

So I don't have to... The kettle, if you want to know, place noodles in a container, add boiling water over the noodles. Replaced the lid fully and carefully, leave the stand for two minutes. Then drain. Then drain off the water. So these will just cook dry? Yeah.

Okay, let's do it. So is the lid on loosely? Yes. No, if you put it on properly. Just like literally. I did? Yeah, all right, okay. So it doesn't?

So it doesn't pop? Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Give us a steam burn. I don't want a steam burn in my eye. No one wants that, mate. Right, here we go. Imagine steam burning your eyeball.

Two minutes, did it say? Two minutes at high. Right, here we go. Here we go. And we're off. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. So we got the soy pack. That is vinegar, if I'm a day.

Vegetable, oil. You see, there's vegetables. No, they're not. It's just powder. It says, soy sauce, seasoning oil, vegetables. But why aren't the vegetables, they're not going to get a chance to cook, are they? This is, it says add it after it's ready. He doesn't know what it's doing. I'm just saying what it's saying. It doesn't know what it's doing. This is going to be a disaster.

Well then we'll see. But they were doing it exactly as the thing says. What does it say? Take that out and then mix that all in and eat it. Yeah. Does it say stand again? Does it say stand again? Two minutes at high. Yeah, once it's out, whack it all in and mix it. That's it. Yeah. That is literally it. That is literally it. So we've got three packs here. We've got the vinegar, what I'm going to call vinegar. Yeah. We've got something that looks like a sort of chili oil sauce. Yeah.

And we've got an opaque pack which has the vegetables in, which is dehydrated peas I can feel. They're not going to cook. There's no moisture in there for them to cook. There's no heat for them. Well, the weird thing is it does the same for the other one. Drain it and then add the ingredients and stir up. Oh, really? Okay.

So maybe they've thought of that. Well done. That's good. Well done. That is an excellent bit of noticing. Thank you, Daddy. Noticing. Thank you, Dad.

I'm the noodle daddy. Noodle daddy. What does that make me? I'm I'm the sous chef or something. You're the noodle liquor? I'm the noodle liquor. I'm the noodle liquor son. I won't stop looking the noodles to the noodle lickings done.

30 seconds, anyone. I'm not the fanny liquor. I'm the fanny liquor son. I'm not the fanny liquor son. Until my dad gets out. Oh. I'm not the... The pussy doucher.

The whittoo shudder. The wussy doucher. Pussy doucher. No. I'm not the pussy doucher. I'm not the pussy duchia. I'm not the pussy duchia. I won't stop douching pussy's till the pushy's douching stung.

I'm a willie sucker when I love him with sucking willies. I suck a little willy till the day come home. Until the cow comes out. Then it can suck your willie for you. Oh, here we go. Dip, dip. Here we go, pull it out. Moment truth.

Right. So it's been in for two minutes. It should be hot. Are we not skeezers? No. Let's get that here. Yeah. Skeezer.

Oh. Snip. Snip. Snip. Here he goes. He's opening the vegetable pack. and that's going to eat a cutler eaten well yeah we'll sort that out all in good time very dry very dry vegetables you can see some carrots in there or ginger

maybe smell it smell the onions cooking smell the onions cooking smell the onions cook you smell the onions off that oh yeah oh actually you can and all this is going to be fresh tasting fresh tasty I'm putting the red goop on but at the seasoning oil the seasoning oil yeah I'm gonna get a fork out for you and last but not least is the soy or vinegar and it will We'll soon find out, won't we? Have a little sniff and tell me that. I think it's soy.

Yeah. That's a very Chinese food taste. That's soy, that's soy. Okay. Do you say soy? Right, and now I'm gonna... You say soy. You say soy.

Do you make a good mix, boy. Oh, let you do it. You're the doctor. Daddy, Doctor Daddy Doodle. All right. There we go. Strange. Not what I was expecting.

No. This is a, oh, got a nice smell. We may as well. What's the point taking it back? Taste it here. In the kitchen. What's happened in the kitchen? Stayed in the kitchen. All right.

This doesn't look like the... Look at this compared to what it... The serving suggestion. Look how different that is. It's crazy. That one looks kind of hues of oranges. It looks red on the packet. But it smells good.

It smells all right. What do you think? It's nice. It's got a nice can of... Savory. Savory, but also there are those kind of Asian... notes in there with this very Chinese smell it's hard to describe but it's those but in the but in the background oh I'm going in right he's going in I'm gonna

grab some from this corner right I'm going in oh great texture oh really lovely chewy texture on the noodles yeah no it is chili chickeny it's got a kick it's got a chili kick oh yeah quite like that yeah oh that's really oh that's really that's really really good. For an out of the pack brand thing. This is actually quite tasty. Yeah. That's almost like restaurant. I don't know about that but... No, it's almost like, you know, those, but those, what's that, what's that really cheap brand chopsticks are they called? Yeah, whatever that is. It's almost like that. I

mean, it's almost as good as that stuff, isn't it? Here's the thing though. It still has remnants of the artificiality of it because of the nature of how it's being presented. But ultimately, what goes in your mouth is actually really nice flavor. It's good flavor. It's strong. It's strong. It's strong. It's strong. It's a lot. It's, it's strong. It's hot it's got spices there are flavor notes in there it's not all just heat and actually well I was worried about the veg not cooking but that gives it a sort of crispy that kind of works doesn't it yeah and there's like there's there's sesame seeds in there yeah they give it a kind of crisp I thought it was all

just gonna be dry peas but it's not no I am impressed I like that that was one pound 99 yeah that's not bad not bad at all mm I like we're gonna take a quick break and then we're gonna come back to you for our second second kitchen noodle taste. Which will be the pork broth. Oh yeah, pork broth time. Pork bone broth. Here we go.

Okay, now it's time to prepare the second noodle. Second noodle time. And this is the celebrity endorsed pork bone broth. Pot noodle. This is a classic pot. What's the company again? Bao Jing. Is it, Bauling?

Beijing. I did read it out before. Beijing. Doesn't matter. I shouldn't have asked, let's move on. I shouldn't have asked, anyway, in the very comic... Buy Zhang. Buy Zhang.

Buy Zhang. Buy Zhang is the brand and... Hello, Zhang. Bye Zhang. He's got like a very sort of... What? What do they call those jackets? It's like a chef's jacket, is almost like a Nairu, like a blow-filled sort of jacket.

It is. But it's also like a kind of chef's thing as well. He's got a real sort of super villain vibe in that jacket. But he endorses this. inside though doesn't it even he's endorsing pork pork soup now we've got a lot of passion over that we've opened this look at this feel the wet pack that's the broth that's slippery when wet pack man and look it's meant to be designed to be eaten in the pot obviously very thick yeah you can feel the thickness in the goo that's the broth that's

all bone it does it has a little plazy spurt fork which eli will be using for this a plazy fork and the noodles look pretty standard that's the veg that's the veg Oh, that's the veg. Now, all that we need to know is how high up, how much water we put on it, basically. Well, there's usually a line, isn't that? You put both of those in and then you boil it. I think it's to here.

See, there's a little line there. Is there a little line there? Can you see it just about there? You see it just about there? Oh, yeah. God, that's a faint one. But yeah, that must be it. So let's get these veg in.

Is that what it says to do first? Put the veg in. Mate, it's always the same with these. I'm prepared. take a risk here. What you do... risky boy. That's what you do is you put the packs in and then you close it the lid over. That's why I've only half open the bed. You let it steep. And then you let it steep. So we're comparing this to ignition products. Yeah. And this has got a lot more broth in than ignition, don't it? Yeah. This could be... I just want to honestly read the...

Okay, read it to be fit... Although actually maybe it doesn't eat it. It doesn't, it's just a pot noodle. It's just a noodle. I think that's actually like different serving suggestions more than anything else. Yeah, you could probably do it in the microwave, you know. Oh, bollocks to that. It just smells like that. But anyway, it smells nice, is it? Well, no, there's a smell of anything, if I'll be honest.

It just smells a noodle pack. Dry noodle pack. Dry noodle pack. Which is in there. Now, I've opened the dry veg. Yeah. Stick it in. That is, you've got scallions.

Oh, mate. You've got scallions. You've got sweet corn. And your little bits of pepper, little bits of onion. board, mate. Listen. Very squeaky. If you hear anything like that,

it is the floorboard, not my lentil dinner. Look at that. Not my lentil dinner. That is a good amount of dried veg, I think I'd agree. It is. A nice amount of dried veg. Yeah. Nice spread across the top. There's some greens in there, as everything. That will add texture.

The broth itself, which I'm opening now, is going to be very smooth. Smooth broth. Now, this is a big, generous helping of pork bone broth here. Very sticky. There it is. And it is white. Look, it's exactly the same colour.

It's that yellowy custody colour. Squirt it out. Smell that. Oh, even though I know it's bone broth, it does taste fucking good, doesn't it? Weird. It's quite sweet. It's almost got a sweet smell, yeah. There you go, see, it comes out.

Googe it out. Scooge it out. Gouge it all out. Oh, it does it look like stock, doesn't it? It's thick. Well, that's what it is, essentially. It's like a gnaw. It's like cana.

Yeah, it's like a pork gnaw. It's like a pork gnaw in a satchet. they got the canaure house. That was like your groin in the Universal Genius. That was a pork knoll. A pork knuckle. Pork canore. He's making up language again, everyone.

You can see his snout through his Unitar. Now, you know what I'm going to do here? I've been trying to get it all out, the goopy broth. But once you've done that, I think we can pour a little bit of the water. Just to get it all out and get it efficiently used. So I'm going to squeeze it all in. as much as I can, but then I think we should finish it off with a little tickle of the boiled water.

You should have meant to wash it out in your... Yeah, I see what you mean, yeah. You know what I'm getting at? Like when you do that with a little tin of chopped tomato? You do that with... You do that. And then you put it in your sauce, so... And then, you know, it just adds a bit of...

Right, why you're fucking cook. Right, I'm going to put the kettle back on. Kettle's just behind the microphone. That is a generous amount. That is a generous dollop of garbage. Now, I think you'll only need about three minutes standing. Fill it up to the... Can you see that level? Yeah, I'll do it over here with the light, so it'll be fine.

I'm moving it over. I wanna know when I love is. Boiling the kettle. Right, keep it, put that... This is a good noodle. We'll hope so. I think this is the cheapest. Let's put it on top of that for a bit.

Right, the kettle is always pre-boiled, so we shall be waiting too long now to add the scolding hot H2O to the cardboard-bordated potted noodle. presentation cooking bowl. It certainly is a cardboard potted noodle. It is a cardboard potted noodle celebration bowl. With a Chinese star of stage and screen. And we don't have to drain this off. No.

That's why don't overfill it because we don't have to be... It's broth. It's supposed to be soup. He's pouring it on now. You don't have to keep exactly to the film line, but basically. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. I keep an eye on it. Trust me.

There we go. Alright, now I'm gonna close the lid. Right, I've poured the hot water on it. Do you have like a small piece of cutlery we can put on top of the lid? Yeah, we'll see all this on the top of the left. Okay, there we go. I put a knife across and now we just have to wait

what, you say, two minutes? Three minutes. Three minutes. What do you do for three minutes? Do you do? I might have a little... No, because we're recording. Is this something I'm going to have to cut out?

Well, what's we're going to do for three minutes? Well, I don't know. I can't keep going for three minutes. You've got a pack of cards? Do you trick. You do me a trick? Three of hearts. What do you mean three of hearts?

What card am I thinking of it? Two of spades. Seven of diamonds. No, you weren't. You changed your mind just now. Think of another card. Ace of Spades. I didn't think of one.

Think of Aces Spades now. Okay. What's the card you're thinking of? Ais of Spade. I told you, and I said it before you thought of it. That's how good a psychic I am. Now, with all that being said, Oh, this is what I got you this for your birthday, didn't I?

Still got it, yeah, the little tea. You still got that? Why? Oh, it's got... I don't know why it's got after eight minutes packets in it. Envelopes, we call them. That looks like a little guilty midden pile, doesn't it? It's weird.

I don't know why. Someone's been stashing after eight sleeves. Why would I do that? That's so weird. So no one saw you eat at least 10 after eight. No, the trick is to put the sleeves back into the box after you've eaten. Everyone hates people who do that. Exactly.

And that's why it must be a tradition you carry on. The worst is with matches. Oh yeah. People who return the matches. The box. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Oh, I don't throw away the match.

Did you even keep a note? When we started in corner, I reckon it was 20. I reckon it's been gone, that a minute. We're a minute in. We're a minute. We want two more minutes.

Okay, Google set an alarm for two minutes. Oh, I just want to do it anymore, because it's a new phone and I haven't set it up yet. Oh, you know what? I don't want my phone. Well, it's all gestures instead of, um... Oh, gestures. Here's one for you.

See, give me the fingers. Up yours, dad. There. Gesture. I thought that was just how you did this. If you do and hold it, then it's like it's like it's, like all of my...

Yeah, I've always known you could do that. Yeah, but that's not as standard with Samsung. Is it? No, they have little icons at the bottom. Oh, really?

Yeah. Because I just like... If I go back, I go from the side look. Yeah, but I can do... Yeah. No, but... Oh, yeah, that is how it works.

Yeah. Well, Eli's caught up with the 21st century, everyone. Oh, we got one more minute left, I reckon. Oh, it's warm. Is it just me? It must be just you, because the heating's not on.

And if it has been on it off about an hour ago. Is it? Yeah. No, it should be off. It's on. It's on. That's going off. That's on the way off. Yeah, that's on the way off. I'm not complaining. Oh, you are? Because you keep bringing it off.

I'm not complaining. It's fine. Thank you for your hospitality. I do want to make a more general point about with global climate change and all of that stuff, what happens, what's happened in Britain in the last few days, it was very cold about a week and a half ago. Then it suddenly

jumped into double digits. It's been 14. the last three days. No one notices. Everyone's still wearing their puffer jackets. And I'm like dying. They no one adjusts. It's fine. The noodle's ready.

Is it? It's been three minutes. All right. It's going to need a good stir. All right. Right. You bring it over. I'm bringing it over to the presentation.

I can use the actual gip fork that they gave us. There you go. All of the broth is still slobbed on the top. It's all jelly. Slobbed on the top. It's going to need a good. mix well you get in there with oh this is good very good mood this is what I mean the quality of their instant noodles is excellent so once you stay there's a

minute it's a thing of beauty no it's ready to go is it yeah I thought that was all slobber jops on the top it's all slow it's all been dissolved in now all right to go it's an attractive looking noodle I'm gonna take the lid right off right off this is our pork bone broth taste some of those noodles and then I want you to sit a bit of the broth because that really is the tip I'll tell you I'm I want to do that first. Have a little sip of the broth. Oh, that's very nice.

Is it? Nice new marmy, salty. It's not like special. It's not too salty. It's just sort of quite comforting. Yeah. He's got a big strand of noodles now. He's got a big load of it now.

I'm gone. I'm going to have to, this is going to be a mess. I don't think the texture is going to be particularly... Too hot. Paul, don't choke. Jesus. He took too much and it was too hot. He bit off more than he could chew.

What's the texture like, though? Nice. It's bang on. It's a bit plain. A bit bland. Yeah. But only in that way where it's like, well, it's comfort food bland. You could spice it up yourself, just a little bit of hot sauce or soy or whatever. It's got a weird chicken and mushroom pot noodle element to it. Oh, it totally does. Which is not particularly a negative thing. Oh, you know what that tastes like? It tastes like a stock cube.

Mm-hmm. Like a canaure. It really tastes like a canore stock cube. Yeah. It's comfort. I know what you mean. It's not distinctly porky. No. You know what I mean? It doesn't taste like fresh pork. It tastes like a sort of normal process.

Bakey almost. Yeah. Bacon or handnotes. Oh, that's very nice. Yeah, that's very nice. Oh, it's very nice. You're right, it's not overly salty. Burt my mouth.

I put too much noodle in. I know. I couldn't get it all in. I'm sorry about that. And there's... That was all on me. Lovely bits of dehydrated noodles. Yeah.

No, it's lovely. The texture, I bet, isn't as good as that first one. No. But here's the thing. It's just... Oh, they are hot. Oh, they are hot, aren't they? All the hits in the noodle, not in the broth?

No. Weird. Oh, that's good. It's good. It's fine, but it's not... A little plane. Yeah. Oh, I'm making the right fucking most.

Little plain. I prefer the Asia box so far. Yeah. But we have the PS. The resistance. The resistance. Piste du resistance. Because we've got one of the poshest noodles we've ever fucking done on the show.

Yeah. It takes seven minutes to fucking do. We have to do it on the stove top. Paul, we have to do this one on the start. I know. That's why we have to watch the video. Oh yeah, we've got to do that. All right, we're going to take a little break

and we're back with our Pia Ston-Ris-Stan. Which is the Singapore curry Lamean. Labian. From Prima. Louis Prima's Labian curry. There we go. And we're back for our final curry. You're gonna...

Easy cooking video. And we're going to... It takes you straight to the website. This is Curry Lamian. Oh, it is a YouTube channel. I was right. There we go. Should we do this?

Yeah, press plate. This video features standard and gourmet cooking steps for Singapore curry la mien. You can scan the QR code on our packaging to view the easy cooking video. Video subtitles are available in multi-languages. The current la mien is now sporting a brand new look. Oh, we've got a new look. There's a whole range. Chili crab, I've seen that one.

Lasker. Fish soup. Once you seek about our Singapore curry la Mien is that it features non-fried, thick, round and strength. I feel like we're doing an outfit for them now. This is cool, I love the music. This is cool, I love the music. It's made with our complete sauce. It's made with our complete sauce.

Singapore curry la mien is a premium noodle dish served in an aromatic, smooth, rich and more spicy rice. Infused with coconut milk, that's good for creating gourmet meals. In this video, we will show you how to prepare the standard and gourmet versions when you get on a plane or something. Do I know? It's what you need for standard milk. 400 mil.

Yeah, soup base, two packets, got it. Let's start cooking. Step one, add noodles in boiling water and no boil for seven minutes. Seven minutes. Easy. Yeah, she needs a loosener. Step two. And the fifth minute.

That looks very similar to what we just ate, doesn't it? Yeah. And when was that six minutes? Six minutes, yeah. You add it after six minutes. Wimcical, noodles. And then he served. and that's it.

And then you pour the broth on. Oh. Oh. There you have it. Singapore curry lamin is ready to serve. Okay, it just takes longer. What for the gourmet? Basically, they're gourmet add chicken.

Here's what you need to prepare gourmet Singapore curry lamin. Chicken sliced. Chicken sliced. We don't have chicken slops. Oh, bean sprouts, bean cut, bean curd, puff. Sprups and puff. Let's start cooking. Step one.

And no, it's going. Shut up, Lord. Shut up, Lord. Shut up, love. The guys are here, Lord. Here we go, Lord. Right. Right, mine that squeaky floorboard.

Fucking stop. It's the squeaky floor board. Listen, listen. That's totally different sound. It's not, listen. See. It's fine. Oh, drop noodles on the floor.

I don't want to do that. Don't drop noodles on the floor. Right, keep your workspace tiny. Keep your workspace tiny. Right, so, kettle back on. This has two super noodles. and I think they're exactly the same basically. It says to add both though, right?

Yeah. So... Do you know what? This is one of the most basic... This is the simplest noodle, but the most premium. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Well, you're paying for the ingredients. It's the quality of the ingredients. It's the quality.

Now, this is good that I got this one, because it means you can taste it, because most of their other offerings did seem to be seafood-based. There's a laxer, which is a famous seafood-y soup, yeah. In that part of the world, and so on and so forth. So on and so forth. I'm looking for creamy, I'm looking for some heat here, I'm looking for some overall flavour. Oh I'm gone, where's that?

400 mil. Because I have to say I was really impressed with our first noodle, the Asia Street food. But had a really good taste and mouthfulful. Yeah, that has been a surprise of the part. See, I wonder, there's 400 mil, you got there? Right, stick that in, is that boiling? It's got to go boiling first. Get it right back to the boil.

Got the bubbles going. You know what? There's a nice touch here. What? The noodle puck. A puck, so to speak, is the biscuit or puck, or deck, as we say. As only you says. As only you says.

Yeah, you can't see that fast at all. Is a disc-shaped to fit into... A pan. A pan. I appreciate that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you don't want to have to break it up, mess around with it.

Just want to pop it in like they did in the video. We watched a video so we know, don't worry. Don't you worry. How to prepare this. We watched that vid. And we also got some tips on how to make it premium. Add chicken. You put chicken in?

Mate, I have kept that bit in. Yeah, I'm just saying. Yeah, but you're just saying something that literally just listen to it. The other one who says, come on, we need content. We just had three segments, three totally segments a week, you know? Yes, and every episode was one hour, 50 minutes, and I had to edit it. Oh, it's boiling again. Here we go.

Put the biscuit in. And for seven minutes. And little scrunkle bits, scruncles. There scruncles go on top. Just wait, wait. You can wait for, oh, we need to start timing it. I've already done it. I've already done it, 41, it clicked over literally.

So by 48, it'll be ready to add the sauces. No, no, no. It's the last minute. So we want six minutes? No, it says seven minutes and then add it and then stay. Oh, right. Yeah. So stop it, take it off the heat, then add it.

Right. I don't think you need to take it off the heat. I think you just keep it going. Swap places, because my headphones are in the way and I don't want to get tangled. Right. This is our last noodle. Our last noodle. This is the Lamean, Lamean.

The Labian. Labian Cave. For someone I had... Layle in cave. I met her once. Oh, shut up, Paul. Shut up, Paul. Shut up, Paul.

You'd have to make anything to be only ever. Just be a man. It's a nice, simple, talking man. Oh, you've got friends. Yeah. Which one did you get? Joey. Did you get Joey?

Yeah. This is like a Funko Popper. It tells you on the outside. This is with the Friends. I'm giving this to a friend of mine, so don't have a little look. My head's a clean. Also, it comes with a stand.

You can go to McDonald's and buy a plastic stand of the couch that you can place all the figurines on. But yeah, get a little Joey in. Do you know what's nice? Comes in the wrapper. It comes in a piece of tissue paper that is like the paper that they wrap a hamburger in. It's got little arches things on it. Sorry, we're

talking about McDonald's again. Those noodles started to soften up, Paul. Yeah, they're happening. No, that's Joey. That's not bad, isn't it? And he's holding a duck. It's made by Funko. Is it made by Funko? No, but it looks like it. It's got that same aesthetic. No mouth or it is, or anything apart from the eyes. Eyes, the soul. He's holding the goose. Was that duck? That was his pet,

right? Yeah. He doesn't say anything about it. about where or who made this other than it's licensed by Warner Bros. Oh I'm sweating in here man because it's hot in the noodle kitchen. It's hot down in the noodle kitchen. Hot in the kitchen. How many minutes has we going? Two. You got a little five.

You can turn this down a bit because we don't it. You want it to simmer rather than actually ball over the hole. It's fine. I know what I'm doing. Now we need to start getting separated. Loosen it up. Loosen this biscuit up. You got to keep it separated. Okay.

They used chopsticks in that but we don't have those. I don't think we do actually. in the beard. Do I have chopsticks? No, but I've got one of these. They're nice, aren't they? A wooden ladle spoon. That is for ramen, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, yeah. Your noodle is only the start of it. One noodle. Now you're a part of it. You know what I listen to the book first track of today?

What? Tom Jones live in Las Vegas. Fucking excellent. Dead. No, he doesn't start with that. That's the second to last track. Yeah, because that's what everyone's come for, isn't it? Well, he does, like, soul covers.

Those are the strongest thing when he does, like, R&B's soul cover. I saw the light on the night, passed by your window. Great singer. He didn't get you treated or anything, did he? No. He's been with, like, his wife a year. Oh, she died, didn't she? Oh, I know very little about Tom Jones,

other than the fact that he still exists. He's still walking about. Now, how... That's why Tom Jones impression. He does. He does. He goes, oh, that, then. Shut out of.

We need to be watching these noodles. Jimmy Jones. Look. Got like three minutes. Right. They're separated. Leave and be now. Let's let them soak.

Okay. Because then we turn up the... We just take it off the eat for a bit. And then just stir it all up. Oh, you know what? I stand corrected. Because it says differently on the video it said, video it said add it after seven minutes but in this one it says at the last two minutes

add the soup based mix well so that would mean oh we can add it pretty much now I bet and do it six seven yeah yeah add it down there's little bits of artificial chicken in the bone broth just gonna turn this down and I'm gonna get where's the scissors I wanna pour a sauce and I haven't done that yeah okay you do a snippy snippy woo careful not to spin any shut up you know are these is proper curry oh sniff that oh that's got the proper curry smell they're both gonna be the same aren't they make sure you get that out yeah you don't get that much in it weirdly claim though it's a big pack oh I flipped it yeah

you go well that you can see that is quality yeah hang up is the same it is the same yeah it's almost got that licorice um no note no I like that though yeah honestly personally yeah I like that it's not licorice but I don't know what it is but it's not chilly it's something else right yeah that's in and they need to be mixing that in my friend That's basically ready to go. I'm doing it as we speak. We've just got a minute to go, right?

Have you got one minute to go? Have we got a minute to go? Uh, one and a half. I think you should take it off the east. I think that's ready to go. No, no, no, it hasn't been... Do it by the thing. Do it by the thing.

I don't know why you're rushing, mate. Right. Why would you rush this? Okay. I'm not Russian. I'm called to Polish there. Oh, he's a funny man and he knows it. Uh, we're gonna need a bowl for this, aren't we?

Let's just want to eat it out the pan. I can eat it out the pan. Let's eat it out the pan. pan. There's no airs and grace is in the kitchen of love. I've been going back to the dwarf. It's been the longest six minute in the world. Oh, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. The game of love, love, love, love, love, love. Who was that by? Who sang that? You know this shit. Who sang that?

Game of love, love, love, love, love, love. Love, love, love. I want to say Wayne Fontana, but that would be the British version. Oh I didn't know there was multiple. Yeah, it's one of those ones that was offering it the early days of rock and roll that would be American here and then lots of Brits would cover them wouldn't they? Because it wasn't the same market as it is these days. Oh, that looks very good. It's sticking you up quite nicely considering I've turned the heat down a bit. Well, you're gonna need one of your soup ladle things, mate.

Oh, we get some of that sauce out. Yeah, we can use one. Please. If I put it. All right, thank you. You need a fork? Do you want a fork? No, use the one from the phone.

All right, yep. Right, is that on 48? Yeah, nearly 48. We're nearly there, boys and girls. We're nearly there, and you'll get our latest up-to-date findings on this particular noodle. Yes. It's all very exciting here. For some reason, time has slowed down, and minutes are taking ages to pass.

Oh, come, that's it. Let's eat this shit. I have to wait, because my brain won't let me touch it until that flips to 8. 48. Come on. Eight. Right, there we go. Right.

We're ready. That is piping hot, everyone. Oh, it really, you can smell the cocoa. Oh, I burnt my nose. Care if we don't burn your nose. Care if we don't burn your nose. And my glasses got full. Oh, God, that does burn the inside of your nose.

Oh, yeah. Ow. That's the hottest thing up my nose ever. You use your nose, right? That is piping. Right, spat into it. Oh, well, good. Good stuff.

Not a lot. Not a lot. That does smell very good. I spat into Debbie's drink. Not a lot. Right, here we go. Careful, there's going to be hot still. Here we go, it's going in.

It's very hot. Yeah. I don't think much of that. Really? It's kind of almost flavourless, almost. It's mild. It needs major pimping. Mild.

Yeah. It's not bad. It's not horrible. What I'll just say is I was underwhelmed by the flavour. Mm. You know what is good? What?

The taste. The texture. The texture's great, yeah, you're right with that. Chewy. Yeah. That sort of pliant, chewy. I think that's what they're going for, because they big that up on the packet, don't they? They go on about how the noodles are chewy and stuff.

Yeah. It's just a normal plain, sort of Singaporean curry sauce. It's fine, but I just thought it would be richer. That's quite nice. But yes, you're right. It needs, and that's why they have a gourmet, they say you had chicken. Yes. No.

Obviously, we're doing the beer bone. here but at the same time it's serviceable but I think it needs the chicken, it needs the vegetables it needs a lot more Oh but no, that's very comforting actually I prefer eat the other two You prefer both those other two?

Yeah Wow, have some of this No no I've had plenty of that I'm gonna have some of the broth Have some of the broth with the raw curry soup sort of yeah Oh that's good It's a nice thickness

This is the thing it's like it looks good Oh all right I'm having a moment with this No, I'm glad. It's subtle. It's subtly flavoured. I just hate to say that. I think my favourite's the Tiger Tiger one.

Yeah. It's got more bite and flavour and the texture. And the texture of the thing is perfectly lovely. Those noodles are good texture. Those are a bit better. I think the gourmet noodles, the texture is a bit... Yeah. It's actually like...

It's fresh. It has a handmade. It's that chewiness that gives you that almost handmade vibe. They're both fine. I just think I prefer the flavour profile. I think all the effort with this Prima brand, prima taste or whatever it is, has gone into constructing a noodle that you boil on the...

It's not fried and it's chewy, that is... I mean... No, it's very good, but I was just slightly underwhelmed by the flavour. I was expecting a little bit more spice, a little bit more heat, even a little bit more coconut. The coconut's near the nose, but not really in the flavour. Yeah, yeah. So... I think I'm more impressed with those.

All right, but none of them are bad. As a stand-alone, though, I think you're right. Yeah. Straight out the box. Yeah. Yeah. Just to eat by itself. But with a little bit of some, some patchoy or some bits of chicken.

Even breaded chicken if you can get it. Oh, like a catsu. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, exactly. Like a katsu curry. Do you know what I mean? It's got that. It's got a similar sort of huggy, huggy, comforty for me.

But Katsu's got a little bit more flavor going on in its sauce. Yes. That is a mild curry sauce, but that is what they're going from there. And as it stands, it's a lovely thing. A little bland. A little bland. Would you say that was better than our pork bones? I kind of preferred the poke.

Honestly, I just think I prefer the flavour of the pork broth one. Okay, so let's have a little sum up. What's your favourite needle today, Paul? Weirdly, I was going to have to say Tiger Tiger. Asia Streetmeal. Singapore-style chili chicken. How much was that? These are both Singapore, actually.

Yeah, how much was that? $199. Yeah, for $199, that's a great... That's good. Honestly, you take that to work and throw it in the microwave? Very good for lunch. Great. Yeah, very good.

The pork broth, honestly, I love it a lot. That's for me is the best comfort food out of the three. The pork broth one. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. I like the broth. I like the sweetness. I like the, it's that nice. I don't know, it's a nicer more comfortable flavor.

Yes, the noodles are very much your standard pot noodle, not much going on textually with those noodles. And then the final one, perfectly lovely. I just wish it had a bit more flavour. Yes, but I will say again, the gourmet, lame and curry, the noodles are outstanding. But here's the thing. is the question. Their texture is very good.

Out the box, right, out of the box, between the pork broth and this, I would say you get a more complete meal with that. Because you get a bit of Escher. Also, also, I think I could finish that, where I don't think I could finish one of them. You know what I mean? I can see myself to the bottom with that pork broth one, whereas that one might be

a bit too much by the half play point. Do you know what we should try? They have these ones that have like really posh ones. Like seven or eight quid that have like snails. I can't. Would you eat snails? You can't. I mean, it's been a wild. whilst I've had snail and I don't know if my brain can get over the hurdle of making a snail. Yeah. They don't have got the shell on. No I know that but my brain still goes.

I think might be mock snail. Moxdale stoop. They were like a Brit pop band weren't they? The mock snails. Can you dig it? Oh yeah. Anyway look I would give the Taga Tiger one, the Asian market one I would give that four. I would give the uh the, uh, the, The pork broth, a 3.5 and then this is a 3. I will go four, like you, for Asia Street meal. Tiger tiger meal. Singapore, chili cookie.

I would go 3.2, my pork bone broth. Yeah. And I do have to say, it's a different category of noodle. That is much closer to what you'd get in a restaurant. Yeah. It is gourmet. It's hot, here, isn't it? We've both got a sweater.

And I would give that a 4.2. It's edging that for me. it's just edging it it's very simple a successful noodle segment hey across the board three winners yeah you think

yeah yeah cool none of them were horrible none of them were like weak sauce none of them were um like like you know if we had uh what's that fucking brand I hate that we come up with every now and then wasabi what's it called Cabuto

Caboot is that I don't think they're even going anymore good because they're the ones with the really racist copy and stuff yeah that to me is like the bottom of the barrel oh I just have another bite of the Asian street milk. That has got some kick. It's got some kick, man. That's got real kick. Oh, anyway, all right. We're going to go back to the episode to wrap up. Okay, man. Back in the old HQ. All right, we'll see you in a bit. That's a very successful

segment. It's so warm in here though. It's very warm though, isn't it? Maybe it's because we're both old. I think it's because you've got the heating on. No, I haven't. You can touch it right now. Touch it. Touch it. Touch the radiator. And you'll see. Yes. It's because we have the heat on and a kettle and we're eating hot noodles. Yeah. And we're old. Out of shape.

Right. Well, all that's been assured. Let's move on. That has all been assured. Thank you. And that's it from the noodle kitchen. But what a noodle kitchen that was. Five stormers.

Three. What did I pour the fucking number of five from? Two extra noodles in your mind? Yeah. Well, it was worth five because, yes, you're right. They were five star noodles. Five star noodles, thank you. All three.

Very good noodles. Yeah, highly recommended. And the texture on that gourmet one, really impressive, has to be said. Are you expecting some on? No. Are you having something delivered or something? Hello.

Hello. Boys, how are you? Come here. Is that lady plops and squishy gym? Hello, come on in. Oh, hello, boys. Oh, hello. Oh, hello, you two.

What are you doing here? What's that? It's great to see you. Oh, yes, it's been a while since we've been here in a cheap show, H. Oh, really? Has. Haven't you been working with Brandoff over in... Oh, yeah, no, well, not really.

No, I know what's going on, but no, we have no association with Brando. No, we don't know. Do we, do we, squishy gym, my love? No, we don't, my love. Oh, oh, oh, dear. Oh, you saved that one for later. Oh, I'll squish that later. I've got to look, I'm excited.

Right, okay, but what are you both here for? We have a... Oh yes, tell him. Because we know that in the past, sometimes we didn't get on so well. So we... Haven't we, my lady? Oh, yes.

We've thought we must make amends for our behaviour. We've made amends, and we've been doing a spot of baking. Oh, yes. Because I'm trying to raise myself up to sort of social level up. And he's very good in the kitchen. Oh, very good.

I squish it. I'm doing a bit of a pump-in, squish it. He's very good. I need a poo. That's why I've got brown hands. Stay in character, Eli. If you want to commit to this, stay in character. Oh, he did a little one as well. Eli, his own little lentil moment. Right, so what we've got is...

Oh, yes, I'll get it out of my bag. Get the present. Just a little piece offering from us, our couple to you. What's this? Oh, that's very kind of you. It looks like a cake. Looks like a cake pool. Let me see. Open it up. What's going on? It's a cake. Yeah, but...

It's a brown cake. What's that? Oh. Why is this cake brown? What's the... Why don't you have a slice, Paul, if you... Go on eat some. I don't think I want to.

No, that's definitely... That's definitely... That's shit. That's cheap. No, it's a real cake. No, it's real cake. I'll get a little fork out. Hang on.

That is shit. That's shit. That's a cake made of shit. That's shit. You've... You've been squanked. You've been squanked, which is our new content show. Content house show.

You've been squanked. We're live streaming from 8 till 10 and you've been squanked. Oh, how does it feel? You've been poned hard. Seriously, you're doing fucking early 2000 shit. I knew it was content house shit. Fucking, why just fuck off. We're not involved in Compton House.

You've been squished. You've been squawked. You they ate a shit cake everybody. Get out, you two. Get out. Get out. Please leave. Oh, oh, hey on.

Richard, yes. Yeah, I've got it all on the minicam. Oh, yeah, ready to go. Yes. Thank you, Richard, yes. Oh, we're getting 2,000 likes for it right now. Oh, you wankers. You've been squamped.

You've been squawked hard. Get out. Fuck off. Mate, I'm not having fucking content. How's pranks coming over to our podcast? I want nothing to do with it. We're going to have to watch it, see what we're up again. because a lot of people that I follow

on YouTube and stuff, they're saying that it's really good. They're saying it's really good. I mean, I looked at the stats. You've been squanked. It's actually really good. I'm just looking at their stats now. It's like they're getting 5K viewers every single day, which is good for them.

Better than us. We should check it out. We need to respond. I don't want to have anything to do with it. We'll have a look at it. We'll have a little bit. We'll have to watch a little bit. I can't believe they fucking put poo in a cake.

I'm sure there's pubs in that. Oh, God. Right. Anyway, that was Cheap Show this week. Thanks for joining us. If you want to know anything about Cheap Show, go to our website. It's our one-stop shop. www.

Thecheepshow.com. UK. Every episode has a dedicated page featuring pictures and sometimes videos. Of my arso. And there are links to all our social media platforms there as well, including YouTube, where we put up our live shows and our fortnightly cheap shot video. The latest ones about Tins, which is proven quite popular, which is quite nice. And also, we couldn't live a single day on Cheap Show HQ Towers

without thanking our patrons. So thank you patrons for keeping this stream alive and allowing us to make this fucking podcast. Scitchie, scitchie beard, scitchie, screechy, screechy, dribble drops. And if you would like to join their number and get access to extra podcasts, the night busing podcasts, behind the scene videos,

top tier videos, all sorts of stuff. We need to do magazines. Yeah, we do. There's a new night bus in town. We need to ride it out. We need to ride the new night busing videos. weekend one and I work weekends. It was it only on weekends?

Friday, Saturdays. Ah, are we going to get around to that? We'll have to take a weekend off work at some point. Okay. But it might not be any time soon, unfortunately. Well, we need to do one this quarter. We'll do one this quarter. It'll be out by Easter.

Don't you worry your little socks off about that, all right? All right. Anyway, patreon.com forward slash cheap show if you would like to support us there. Give what you can, but only if you can. And if you can't, review us, share us on social media, like us on YouTube, all that kind of stuff. Help spread the word. That's the very least we can ask of your kindness.

Right, and that's it. Love you guys. I got to wash my teeth. I've got to brush my teeth. Wash your teeth. I've got to bleach my teeth. I've got to get the taste of shit out of my mouth. I'm glad I didn't eat any of that.

I'm sorry you had to go through that, man. Oh, man. Fucking scoundrels. They're really... They're going to be adults as well. Why are they behaving like that? I don't know. Brandoff must have, like...

He must be paying them a lot. Of course. They're getting advertisement deals on that shit as well, so of course. Well, it's all behind a paywall. Fucking bastard. I'm not paying to watch content house. Fucking hell. Right, we'll see you next week. Love you guys, bye.

Fucking bastards.