CheapShow - Ep 481: Pepsi Challenged

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

With Special Guest: Nick Helm The last time comedian and actor Nick Helm was on the podcast, he said he would return if we did a Pepsi special. Eli and Nick have been banging on and on and on about ruddy Cherry Pepsi Max and Paul just wants it all to go away. So Nick and Eli want a Pepsi packed episode do they? Well, Paul will make sure they’ll all be sick of the stuff by the time this (very long) recording ends! They’ve sourced flavours from across the globe to taste and review… and not only that, but Gannon has a Pepsi themed “Price of Shite” to squeeze in too! It’s another rambling, noisy, frenzied, fizzy pop infused edition of the economy comedy podcast. Hold tight, there’s burps ahead! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-481-pepsi-challenged www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Why are you both looking at me? Why have you got your sleeve? Why do you have to roll your sleeves up? I'm in action mode. As if... Sleeves down? Just chilling. Just chilling.

Just sitting back here with my friends. Sleeves up? All right. I'm in. I'm all my sleeves. I mean, we're all sleeves up today. I'm flicking my hair. You're sort of wearing a t-shirt, but it's sort of a jumper, isn't it?

What do you mean? Well, the sleeves are very long. I don't know. I thought it was a T-shirt. But yeah, that's a style. It feels like it's kind of like a sweater sort of material. It's actually, like a synthetic, like wicking material.

Have you heard of materials that wick? Wicking. Wick? Yes. No, I've never heard of wicking. So wick is to remove moisture from a surface and lock it away within your fibre core. Wicking.

It sounds wicked. It sounds wick-styly guy. No, I was going to say, Paul. Oh, wow. I was going to make a note of these fucking bon motes. Bon Molls. Wasn't he the lead singer for Iron Maiden or something? No, please him.

Go on. The way that you... ACGC. You side and roll your sleeves. Bon Scott, isn't it? Bond Scott, yeah. Sleep banana. You've revealed the mystery

and then it doesn't seem like such a good joke. Yeah, it was a great joke, but there's method to it. Yeah, it's all about dismantling the form. We've got the wrong batting. Twice. Got a Wicking. No, I'm not talking about Wicking no more.

Okay. Is it going to be a big musical at the West End? Cool, wicking. Oh, my God. Now, he's starting to be a big musical. I think it's really kind of cheeky, Paul, to slag people off for their jokes and then all you've got is wicked.

Exactly. That, exactly. Now, no gangging up on Paul. There's nothing wrong with chipping in, right? But when you're chipping in is not as good as other people's chipping in. That's fine. The thing is, I could edit that out.

He loves this. He loved the constant threat of manipulation. That's the way he does it. Take your punchlines. I'll be right. You're disgusted human being, canon. Yes, and on that very point, let me return to the point I was going to make. Where you rolled your sleeves up inside was as if me and our venerable guest today.

I'm going to, if he does two more appearances, he gets a jacket. Nick Helm. Yeah. As if we were turds to be somehow disposed of. Well, I'm glad you brought it up because it's not too far from the truth, is it? That's how you see us. No, I don't. That's how you see everything in the world.

I don't. I'm a very cynical, miserable, depressed. haunted human being who needs to get out more. Well, when you edit us out, that'll be apparent. Yeah. Well, I won't be editing this gold out because laser gentlemen, welcome to the gym show. It's a podcast. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Is this not the cold open? I thought it was all right. Yeah. It was chatty. Yeah. Sweating me glasses of fog.

Why don't you formally introduce our guests and tell us what we're doing today? You know what feels weird? I haven't decided this cold opens ended though yet. You know what feels weird? I haven't decided this cold opens ended though. opens energy. We don't do this very often. Do what? Go to someone else's house. No, we've never gone to anyone else's house to record this.

It's easy, isn't it? I feel vulnerable. I feel you feel like you're not in your own domain. Like just when you've had a scab and you'd be very good about picking it, but it's large. It's got really crusted and then you think the time has come and it kind of flicks off on

the door or something and then it's very tender and it's very soft. It's tender. Very smooth. The flicks off on a door. Oh no. You know, you catch it a animal or something. I've got to wash my doors. I've been scabbing up next door, left, right and centre. Oh, God.

No, it's a great place, man, I have to say. Covered in scabs. Yes, yeah, we're at next place. We're recording another Cheap Show podcast with him because a few weeks ago, months ago, when we did it last, you said, oh, let's do a Pepsi one. So we're doing a Pepsi one.

Pepsi themed. Pepsi themed. Now, here's a little trivia. No sponds. Hashtag no sponds. Here's a little trivia for both of you, for brownie points with me. This is still the cold open, by the way, did you know that? Yeah, fine, fine.

Just saying that. Oh, it's freezing. Oh, somebody close it. Close the open. Close the open. It's going to make an edit, point note so I know when to take that. Yeah, that was my joke as well, really. Yeah, but I kind of explicitated it.

Yeah. Well, I think a lot of my humor is pretty subtle. Yes, it is. No, it is. That's what a lot of people don't get about you, Nick. Right. Yeah, go on. What's I going to say?

I don't know. You said something about soft scabs. Ah, here, no, shut up. Here we go. But you did. You talked about scabs. Little question. He was talking about crusty scabs, to be fair.

No, yeah, but I was thinking about the soft bit underneath. Krusty scabs. A little trivia questions to start us off on the Pepsi theme. Yeah. What was Pepsi originally known as? It had a totally different name. Pepsi coat. No.

A totally different name. Oh, not Pepsi related at all. Yeah. Do you know? Do you know? I don't know. I don't know. It was known as Brad's drink.

Oh, yeah, right. Yes, because it was started by a man named Brad. There you go. Welcome to Cheapy everyone. Well, no one know that, did they? What gave him that idea then? Was it he was drinking Coca-Cola once? And he was like, oh, I'd like my own one, thanks.

Yes, I believe he was like some kind of, you know, one of these soda jerk owner people or something. Right. And he thought he'd get on the Coca-Cola bandwagon, released it as Brad's drink. And then there was some kind of rumor that it was good for digestion, and that's when he started to go with Pepsi, as in dyspeptic,

as in... Oh! I didn't know that! Yes. Oh, that makes much more sense. So it's related to its so-called drug... You know, it's drug qualities. Like digestive biscuits.

It never had cocaine in it like Coca-Cola. No. It was... It had peptobismal in. No. This is another myth. Pepsi. I didn't know that was a myth.

Pepsi sin or something is this sort of chemical that's used to treat indigestion. But Pepsi actually never contained any pepsin. Right. Right. Yeah. Okay. It was just thought to,

leave the symptoms of indigestion, hence Pepsi. And... Why was... There's still more? I did a little wiki research. I've done some bloody preparation, mate. No, fair enough. And there was a riot, did you know?

A Pepsi riot? Based on a promotion Pepsi did in the Philippines. Right. And they said you could get money if you collected a load of these numbers. It was the Pepsi's number fever, the name of the promotion. Like on the lid of something. Right.

On all their products. Pepsi and the other ones. ones they have. And you know they're marinda. That's Pepsi as well. Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, that tangerine drink? Yeah. Or orange drink, whatever it is. Yeah. It's like their fanta, but it's a lot of those popular. They're Satsuma drink. It's not a Satsuma.

What is it? They've got orange. They got strawberry marinda. Tangerine? They don't have a tangerine. I always thought it wasn't. I never thought it was orange. I thought it was tangerine. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't make me get it out. Clementine. Clementine. Oh, my darling. Like, that's with a cold open ends. That will do.

Cheap Show To a bar to Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the Economy Comedy Podcast with me, Mr. Paul Gannon, my co-host.

Eli Silverman. I'm returning as a special guest, Mr. Nick Helm. And we're here in Nick Helms' house. Yay. Is Mr. Angry going to call?

No, we're not doing the Steve Wright shit. Hello? Hello? Yeah, we're doing a Pepsi special at the next place. And we have gone. plenty of Pepsi for you today and I have got a Pepsi themed price of shite.

Excellent. Okay, great. So there are some Pepsi Accutramons on offer today. That's great. I just so you know, I haven't had any Pepsi yet today. I'm Pepsi free so far. Are you a daily drinker? Yeah, tend to be.

Tends to be, yeah. So I'm kind of Jones in at the moment. Jones in for Pepsi. We've got plenty of Pepsi. We've got good shit here today. We've got some good shit. However, just a tiny little bit of admin. On next week's episode, we will be revealing the dates for episode 500 and the live show,

which will take place in August and finalising details now. But effectively, keep the end of August free because we're doing a cheap show 500 in Cambridge. Lovely stuff. And there will be a live stream option available for those who can't make it to Cambridge, who live elsewhere around the world, will be streaming the show live. Whereabouts in Cambridge? Junction 2 venue at the Cambridge Junction. What a lovely venue.

Lovely little venue, yeah. I think I've done Junction 2. Yeah, it's a lovely little venue and they seem happy to have us. And actually, thinking about it, we started Cheap Show in Cambridge. Yes, we did. You know what we've never done? A walkabout in a Cambridge. Because we haven't started doing those episodes until I moved back to London.

Last time I was in Cambridge, I found a fantastic, basically Chinese noodles, not noodle, dumpling specialist restaurant. They had their own 300-year-old recipe chili oil in there. I ordered, like, it was too many dumplings. There was about 50 dumplings. Where? On that road with all the Chinese restaurants on in Cambridge. Good stuff anyway.

Good news story. You know what I'd like to do in Cambridge? They've got bloody, excellent, brutalist buildings. Right. I'd like to check those out. Right. And also Chinese food. I'm just saying maybe we should go back to Cambridge

and do a walkabout episode. We haven't done that. I thought that'd be nice. You know what was really good about the cruise I'd just been on? You could get sit-down meals every night, Silver Service, you know? And then all the... And then they'd have the thing where some guy who could barely speaking list,

we're going, Let's get it! You're like some guy You'd have to applaud all the staff And everything You know what I mean Why? And everyone

They'd play like black-eyed peas And everyone They get their hankies Not the hankies And that And that kids And do that Yeah

Yeah And they'd all go Walking through the restaurant I'd like Did you do it? I was like waving my hanky Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah And some would go Let's Emma But what were they Introducing Like the chef Ladies gentlemen

No, he couldn't speak English properly. I can't emphasize enough how much he mangled the word gentleman. Jewe. Jeannie! Debe! All this keeps you happy. But that was really, you know, it felt fancy because you had the whole drinks waiter and the bread rolls,

and we really enjoyed that. Oh, bread rolls, eh? Yeah. Best part of any meal. Yeah, you fill up on bread rolls. Also the worst part of every meal, isn't it? What, the bread rolls? Because you just can't stop it.

And you have to stop. You can't stop. Because it's going to ruin the rest of your meal. It does. It will feel you will stop. You know, and who wants to go eat bread and butter? You can do that high. I'll tell you what, though.

Other people's bread and butter is always good, right? What, it's more tasty if it's other people's. Oh, yeah, if you go, if you go something, they give you free bread and butter, oh, I've never wanted bread and butter more. Yeah, they had nice little seeded ones as well, like a variety of those. Nice. Nice. Yeah, you're just like a nice life.

Anyway, we had a server called Marlon, right? Yeah. And, like, my brother-in-law loved the guy. because he was just pure, like, he was, like, telling us this story about how he was feeding his whole family back in the Philippines, like, through this job, and his sister was, like, disabled and all this stuff.

He was just a charming man. Boat slaves, we called them. They, whenever you talk to them about... Okay. When you say we call them? Can you say holiday? I don't know, but, like, when you say we, do you mean, your immediate family?

Yeah, we call them boat slaves, I'm sorry. Interesting. They do, they have this seven-month... Out of solidarity to them. Yes. God, these poor guys they're working like slaves. Absolutely.

Not in a derogatory way. Not at all. Because they'd serve the Coke too warm or something. No, we would not like that at all. We tipped. I was fighting for better tipping for my family unit for all of these stuff. I'll have you, no.

Did you have to tip them for every meal? Everything was cheap. I mean, not cheap. Everything was free. Yeah. So you may as well tip. Yeah. So you tip.

But you tip them every meal. We tipped them every meal. And for drinks, the endless flow of free drinks that we partaked in as we did trivia on the drinks and triv. Yeah. Yeah. It was so fun, man. So you ended up basically spending as much as you may have spent had it not been all-inclusive.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah. But you had a lovely time, didn't you? And that's what's important. But you're all boat locked, right? Well, we did a snorkeling in Nassau on the second day. Yeah. And then we went to Grand Bahamia on the third day.

But the crew of the crew, right? The crew were on the boat. The crew are on the boat. They're there for seven months. Yeah, right. So surely you can just sort of like... You're listening to the Cheap Show podcast. You could just sort of like round it up at the end of the trip, right?

The tipping, you're a captive audience, right? Yeah. So at the end of the whole thing, you could go, ta-da. And not tip them. No, you know, to tip them. The whole way and then give them a great big tip at the end. Well, that's with your room guy, who does the towel animals in your room when you're not in the room. Oh, what?

The towel animal guy. You've seen that, the towel animal guy. He also cleans the thing, but yeah. I went on holiday in Egypt and we had an animal. towel guy and we were going to tip him at the end so you know the last one he did was a crocodile really ornate you know I don't know how many towels he got through I could do it with a towel yeah I did a chicken with a towel to entertain a child once yeah yeah ended up just looked like a vagina the mum was horrified chickens they look like families don't they badly let's not get into your weird

psychological thing no look David Lynch in his most famous one of his most famous film Yeah, that's David Lynch. He's equating Fanny to Dead Chicken in that. But that's David Lynch. It's a metaphor. Right. But you... Salmonella.

Anyway, our towel guy had a monkey. He did a monkey hanging off the light. He was fucking good. Well, our crocodile guy, what we did was we... It was so beautiful. We both put our hands underneath it and we lifted it in one piece to the floor. And then we left, we lifted it back on the bed. And we put, like, a load of money in it.

mouth. You preserved the... That's a little joke. Yeah, that's nice. So when we left, he had like this big tip in his room. That's cool. But he didn't check the room and he chased after us and he said, Give us my tip!

Where's my tip? Where's my tip? And we were like, you're ruining it. Were you ruining it? You're ruining it. You're ruining it. We've done something really, really sweet and whimsical. We've put money in the crocodile's mouth.

Now you've ruined it. No, they give you a little envelope. We didn't want to tip him after that. We didn't want to tip him after that. He still needs the tip. It's too late. We had tips him by that point. We tipped him to the point of breaking.

I'm ready for Pepsi. Have we finished talking about cruise holidays? Listen, at least I've got something to talk about, Paul. Everything you do is shutting down and reorganising. It's like... Shut up so I can get on with the fucking show. Oh, my God. Simples.

Simples. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love the agony. I can do that. Yes, we are doing Pepsi all. week this week, well, today's episode.

And should we just get into it? Because we've got a lot of shit to get through. Yeah? Well, I'm going to do a break. Sound effect. Italy into it. Italy, Italy, Italy into it. Italy.

Italy into it. Ready? Yeah. Sound effect. Pepsi. Pepsi. Never been my favourite until they came out with Pepsi Max Cherry, which is very nice. I mean, that's the root cause of all of this, isn't it?

Pepsi Max Cherry. Well, it's the first, it's the first diet drink that actually didn't really taste a good diet drink. Like with Diet Coke, you're kind of like, it's a different drink. Yes. So you have to get your head around it. I've got my head round it nowadays. If you were on Coke as a kid, then Diet Coke came along.

It was less like, what's this? Yeah, you don't want it. It's like, miserable. Disappointed. I shun it. Accord. But then if you live off Diet Coke, you get used to it. And when you go back to Coke, you're just like, bloody out, how sweet is this?

Yeah, crazy sweet. Whereas, so I always liked, when I was at school, I always liked Dr. pepper and cherry Coke, like proper cherry coat. And then when you get older, you try Pepsi Max Cherry, and then you just cannot believe how delicious it is. Well, I agree, but Paul wouldn't. I've decided, for the sake of goodwill this week, I will not be putting forward my opinions on Pepsi Cherry Max.

Well, you can get a bad batch. It's just, I just don't like the fake sugary flavour in any diet or Max drinks. That's literally what it boils down to. But what we're saying, I think the theory that Nick has... And again, I'm not pressing your points. I'm agreeing with you and I'm going along with this. I do not need to be fucking challenged. Okay, I'm not challenging you.

I feel already a little bit of tact. I think that you are coming from a point of ignorance. Well, no, I just think. We're just trying to educate you a little bit on why we like it in the first place. I would like you to accept me for who I am. We accept you. And the differences that bring us all together as a community that I can all learn and benefit. Why are you so fucking defensive today, Paul?

I'm fucking not defensive. Oh my God. Just to calm down. I'm here. I'm giving you fucking both on my podcast the chance to talk about Cherry Pepsi Max and I'm doing it.

Pepsi Match Cherry. I mean, God. That's my bugberry like Cherry Pepsi Max. You like your Max Cherry Pepsipsies. You have them. I'm just saying you have them and you enjoy them. So to summarise...

Pepsi Max. Pepsi Cherry Max. Terrible. Max Cherry Pepsi. Pepsi Max Cherry. To summarize. Yeah. What Nick is saying is and I think the industry

and insiders would agree with us here. Pepsi Max Cherry was the breakthrough sugar-free drink. It achieved... Why are you doing the Tony Blair hand signal thing? Because I admire him as a man and a politician. That's why, Paul. Tony Blair or Nick? Tony Blair.

Right. Not really. Right. Well, I'm keeping that in the edit. Can you also say to that context, I admire his war effort and the Iraq war was not... Shut up. It was not legal.

I admire Tony Blair. Do you remember things can only get better by D-Rame? I do, yeah. I love that song. And had it not been for Tony Blair, it would have been a flash in the pan, it would have come and gone that song. Did it get re-released and go to number one again

because of Tony Blair's election victory in 97? I hope so. I think it was one of those situations where the song came out anyway around about the same time. No, I think that they... It was a few years previous. D-Reeam were very much the kid rock of their generation. With Dr. Brian Cox on keyboard, was he?

Brian Cox on keyboards. Yeah. What we're saying is basically that Pepsi Max Cherry was a success, not because of marketing, but because of word of mouth, people were just saying it tastes like a regular drink. And I'd say the only other one that's almost like that is Fanta Zero, which tastes almost exactly like Fanta.

Question. If you remove cherry from it, would you drink Pepsi Max as is? I have drank Pepsi. Yeah, I can do Pepsi Max. I personally prefer if you're going for a non-cheri zero sugar, good drink. I prefer Diet Coke now because like I say, I'm used to it now.

And actually, I actually quite like the taste of Diet Coke. I like the taste of Diet Coke, yeah. It makes me feel sophisticated, like a grown-up. Yes, I feel like I'm in an office and I've just spotted a tasty little hunk. It is the Connoisseur's photo. Fuck me. I'm buying this printer. I'm frobbing off. Yeah, absolutely. Drink all this diet Coke so that I've got an empty can to come into. Yes. And we're into.

Yeah. Shit into. If I was some kind of homeless. person and I'm a smack it. I don't know. If you're going to shit into a can at that people shit into cans. At that point, I wouldn't bother with the effort. It keeps it off the floor. I'd just do it on the floor at that point. It's going to be more of an effort to try and aim for the neck of a can

than it is just doing it on the floor. But with that, with that. I think we can all ease rather than discomfort. We can all agree, though, that Pepsi Max Cherry was it was more successful than Coke Zero or any of these attempts. It is the flagship, zero. Zero sugar soda. Wasn't Coke zero an answer to Pepsi Max?

Oh, right. Maybe the first to do it. I think there was Coke and Diet Coke and Pepsi and Pepsi and then Pepsi brought out Pepsi Max. Wait, so hang on. What's the difference between Max and Diet Pepsi then? What's the fundamental difference? The same difference between Diet Coke and Zero. I guess what my next question is going to be?

It's a different suite of sweeteners. So it's as partating one and something and the other. Yes, that's right. But also Diet Coke is deliberately designed to taste like its own thing. Right. So Diet Coke is meant to taste like Diet Coke. Whereas Coke is To taste like Coke. Whereas Coke Zero was meant to taste like Coke.

Didn't it all roll out the same time when the sugar tax was coming and all that shit as well? I think Pepsi Max came up before the sugar tax and then Coke were like, let's do that. Yeah. Like it snowballed with the tax. But now Pepsi Max is standard in a lot of pubs where you just like can I have a Coke and they're like, you use Pepsi Max? Well, actually they say, do you mind if it's Pepsi? And you go, yeah.

But not do you mind if it's Pepsi? Do you mind if it's Pepsi Max? Yes. Oh. Well, this is something that people. looking up in arms about. Because if you want sugar, you should be able to get sugar

if you want it. Absolutely. You shouldn't just have a standard. It's a free fucking country. Yeah. And I should be allowed to have a normal Pepsi in a pub. A normal case of diabetes. And I want to smoke in the pub as well.

Well, I think that what's interesting is that with Pepsi Max, I can drink liters and liters and liters of Pepsi Max, but with actual Coke or Pepsi, I don't want to drink so much. Because you're chasing the dragon. Your brain thinks that you've had sugar, but you haven't had any sugar.

So you're chasing sugar. So you just drink loads and loads of diet drinks. Yes. Whereas if you actually get your sugar hit, you know, you might drink one, maybe two pints of Coke a day. Yeah. And also it's not, it's terrible for your metabolism, the real sugar. It overloads your metabolism and you get really sleepy.

That's why you get worse hangovers on those sugary drinks that you get on cruises, for example. Yeah? Like, yeah. When we first got on the cruise. Have you been on a cruise? Yeah. Wow. We had to get free drinks.

Yes, and we decided to get margaritas for our first free drink, right? Did you get a hanging monkey thing? No, during the Sailorway party. Sail away, sail away, sail away. Sailing off party or something, it was called. Was that at the beginning? Yes, right at the start as it sailed away. And we got this margaritas.

I fancy a margarie. I like a margarita. Yeah, I do. But this wasn't like a margarita. It was horribly sweet. Like, you literally did this last week. You did this last week. You told this story.

Do you hear my joke? Yeah, please. It's been ages since we've heard one on this show. Oh, I feel terrible today. I had eight margaritas last night and eight margaritas. Margaritas. Margaritas. I had eight up margaritas.

Would you like me to edit that out? Well, I think you've done. I'm trying to. Why are you being clever about it? I'm not trying to. You had eight, so you had 16 margaritas. I had eight margaritas. and eight margaritas.

And you ate margaritas as well. I had eight margaritas and I had eight margaritas. Four candles. I don't get it, Paul. I had eight drinks and then I ate eight pizzas. Oh. This is why I feel terrible. Edit out.

Paul's going to edit this out. I'm going to do it in front of a panel of judges one day and I'll be rewarded then. I'll see you in Valhalla. Go on. You want to talk about your cruise? Don't get deranged. No. Do you want to just get a drink out?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to move. shit on, Paul. What is the format in which we will be tasting various... Bag, drink, cup, suck. Bag, drink, cup, suck, done. Moving on. Sound like a sex worker in a hospital.

What is a sex working doing in a hospital? Well, a very good job. Is it a private hospital? Why? Don't have to find a bed. No. They're all there. And a lot of very...

Perfect place. Very grateful customers. A captive audience. Very grateful customers on the verge of dying. One last Josh on. of a bag suck whatever you're So Mr. Timkin

who's 86 who's slowly dying in the bed on Ward 17 Why this keeps happening? All of a sudden knock on the door here comes sexy Lucy

and she drops her knickers and what? She performs for him Tell me more What she do? The bag is like his IV bag Squeeze the bag

Yeah does she squeeze the eye I'm not going with this I'm producing Tell me more What does she do to him? She sucks him off And then his wife pays her Just clean and simple sucks him off

There's no pageantry There's no curtains around She draws the eyes curtains next what happens? Yes. Does she undressed to sexy music first? No, she probably just sucks him off, Paul. No, there's no pageantry to that.

There's got to be a bit of build-up. It's his last few days. Nick, have you got something here? No. I want to know what that woman's doing to old Mr. Timkins in Ward 7. I'm going to start... He might have just broken his leg.

I'm going to start with... Even better. I want to know what she's up to. I'm going to start with a Pepsi here that I think may have existed in Britain but isn't very common. So I'm going to start.

with the most common. This one, raspberry. Oh, hello. Have you not seen that? We've had raspberry. I've not seen this. What what language is that? It's Japanese, I believe. I think it's Japanese. Did you get it from the... Yes. Yeah. So you've had it before. It was Max, wasn't it? It was raspberry. Oh yeah, it was. This is full sugar. So let's just, without any further ado, taste the first Pepsi.

I'm going to get all our rankings and numbers for this. So when we're finished by this, we'll have a solid idea of what our opinions are on these soft drinks. Okay, so how are we, what's our base level? Well, we're not going to really have a base level We just drink this Did you like it out of five moving on? Right, okay. Yeah, I don't think we need to get too deep as much.

Yeah, that's an experience. You know what I mean? I mean, we didn't bring any Pepsi Max, I've drank a lot of Pepsi Max, and I'm beginning to realize that I can't just remember what it tastes like. Well, this is going to be a full sugar. So I'm expecting this. But what I would say as well is that

when you get like a $1.99 deal for like a bottle of two little bottle of Pepsi, Max, cherry. Yeah. that's sometimes a weaker batch you get slightly less flavour in it I've only ever noticed

like a actual difference in a soft drink from one batch to another with a red ball sugar sugar-free sugar-sugar sugar-free sugar-free sugar-free which is the

equivalent of diet Coke because you do get Red Bull Zero never buy that that is one of the eggiest soft drinks I've ever had my life

What do you mean eggy? It's purely solid It stinks of rotten egg when you open it And then it tastes of rotten egg when you drink it Is it fuzzy? Of course it's fizzy. Fizzy egg drink. It's a fizzy egg drink.

Maybe it's naturally forming And they get it from Yosemite Park or something. Very bad. Right. But I've noticed off cans of Red Bull sugar free. Oh, it smells incredible. Do you like the nose? Oh, it's good.

This is raspberry flavor. Simple. Raspberry flavor, full fat Coke. Full fat one, yeah. You know, it reminds me of that Coke we had. You know, the Canadian strawberry we were at the fuck it was cool. Oh yeah, you loved that, didn't you? Yeah, that was raspberry coke.

Yeah, it was. Because Pepsi Matchery was successful and then they started like going, hey, do you know how when you're on holiday they put a bit of lemon or lime or orange in your Coke? Let's try and do that. So instead of adding a bit of lemon, we'll do Diet Coke with lemon. Not lemon diet Coke. No. Diet Coke with like a squeeze lemon

With a squeeze a lot And so when they did the pepsies They were like right So they did lime They did raspberry They did cherry Then they bought out mango Yes mango

We don't have mango to taste today That was good They bought out tropical There's been loads of different flavours We've got tropical Oh spoilers mate Fuck me The cream

Do you know had a bit of fucking excitement Listen we've got That's it You give them a little foreshadowing It's a cream show to... Chekhov's Pop. Chekhov's...

Yes. To Pepsi Max. The strawberry cream soda and the Pepsi cream soda is not great drinks. They're not great. It's just like, why have you bothered?

And also, when you get like cherry Dr. Pepper, it's kind of like... It's lost. What's the point? It's lost there, yes. But... But I actually do prefer to cherry Dr.

Blackberry. It's imperceptible. Dr. Pepper Blackberry. Because what flavour is Dr. Pepper? It's not real. It's kind of like plum. Yeah. It's like plum.

Honestly, if you haven't tried... it. You should try the Dr. Pepper Blackberry. Yeah, that is a fucking good stuff. It is absolutely banging. Well, I've got an iPhone, so I don't need a blackberry. Yeah.

Now, what? Did you get it? Now. It's going to make another edit point in big book. I prefer the smell of bike. You're a real aho. It's not a shocking show. Yeah, he is, isn't he?

Yeah. I know. I hate it. Great. I hate cheap shit. That's the way we like it. I like a lot of the listeners do. But that works just as well.

They hate less. Now, I like the smell of that, but in the mouth, I'm getting, that doesn't taste. It tastes like artificial sugar to us. Yeah, that's like artificial sugar. That tastes weak. That tastes like one of the Diet Coke drinks, which always tastes a lot weaker than the Pepsi drinks.

I don't like this. It tastes like, what it tastes like is, even though you poured it in the glass and I didn't drink it immediately, it tastes fairly flat. Yes. And famously, Pepsi is more bounced to the ounce. You get more bubbles. Oh, there is no sugar.

Oh, well, that will be what we're tasting. Yes, this is. Well, that'll be what we're not tasting. This is essentially a Chinese bottle of Pepsi Max Cherry. Japanese. I don't know. Oh, it is Max then? Yes.

Yeah. Do you want to lend it? Lens it. Yeah, it says zero sugar on the side, actually. Oh, does it? Oh, sorry, everybody. No, that's all right. But that makes sense of what we're tasting, doesn't it?

This I would say would be like, it tastes very sweet. and like filled with raspberry flavour. It just says refreshing and sugar-free Pepsi raspberry flavour. That's all it says that. It's fairly weak. Yeah.

I wasn't a huge fun. The smell was more exciting than the flavour. I'll tell you what, if I got myself a two-liter bottle of Pepsi Max cherry and it kind of the equivalent flavour complexities to this, to that,

yeah, I would be disappointed with that two litres and I'd like just plough through it and drink it. Yeah, probably. This tastes like it's been left out on the side overnight with ice in it. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

And it tastes like flat watered down. Flat watered down. It's not a great. Out of five then, what are you going to give it? I'd go two. Two. Nick, what do you say? Well, I'd say, I know for a fact that there's better drinks out there and I wouldn't

drink that again. One. Well, you've got to be harsh, right? Yeah, yeah, no, no. Now, do you recall? Do you want to know what my number is? Yes. One?

Okay, thank you. Now, do you recall? I think you're being generous, and I would go for two, but I know that there's a much Better world out there. I wouldn't drink that again. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't drink it more. How does it compare to your memory

of the British version? Is it exactly the same? No, it's a lot watery. A lot more watery. A lot weaker. So I do one of my ones for you. Yeah, let's have one of yours. Get this one out of the way since you spoilt it.

Tropical. Tropical. Oh, look. Nice cash. Pepsi Max. Pepsi Max tropical, strictly speaking. So what are the fruits that they've got on the side? Well, it looks like a pineapple, a mango,

and then that could be anything. A peach. I think that's a peach. You can take one to that. I think it could be a slice of papaya. Papaya? Pappiah. Lower, papaya.

Lower, papaya, lower. From the audience. I think that's clearly a peach. That's a peach. That's a peach. That's a mango. And that's a pineapple. What makes it a peach? Is it the serrated inner lip?

Where the stone. With the spending torn out of the flesh of the ruffles on the stone. The meat of the peach. Of the peach. A real meaty peach we've got here. Now, do you know what is a tropical fruit, and that is often included, that I hope hasn't been included as a flavour in this?

Banana. Coconut. I'm fine with banana, pineapple. Yeah, no. I don't do coconut in my drinks. Yeah. I always used to get those, what are those little cartons called? What were they called?

Rubicon, but there's another brand. Kiora? Kiora. A boogie, woggy, woggy, woggy. There's another brand, and they have tropical. And they also have like... Umbongo. No.

Kiora. No. Five alive. I can't remember. Five alive had mango and stuff in. Anyway, their coconut one's rough and you'd often think, oh, I like the tropical one. Juice, shoot. Hey, oh.

Right, do you want to show if you take this, then? Let's taste it, man. Let's go on. Oh, you've got two cans. No, we've got a drink. We're not allowed to have birds in here. We're not allowed to have a bird in here. You could have a bird in here.

Oh, where's my glass. Where's me washboard? Now, on the nose, and I'm getting a lovely effervescent smell effect coming off that. Do you prefer cans or bottles? Bottles, bottles, bottles, plastic bottles in that order. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the right. That's the right.

Absolutely right. I think I put a can over a plastic bottle, but a glass bottle over both. Yeah, absolutely. A tumbler in the middle. I like a can. I like the whole thing. Yeah, that's a refreshing sound. The, as Paul might say, the pageant tree.

Yes. Thank you. Well, talking of the sound, did you know, you know this, but you may not. Dr. Pepper Blackberry had a whole LP of ambient music based on the sounds of the drink, and it's quite good. Just that one flavour. Yeah.

So you listen to it while you glad you drink it. Yeah, that's great experience. Yeah, that's great. That's what's great about Dr. Pepper, right? they think about the entire experience. What's the worst that could happen? What's the worst that can happen? It's so misunderstood.

I could die. What are your nose notes? You haven't given me your nose notes? I was kidding. That's quite a funny ad campaign, right? I think so. It's like, have a Dr. Pepper. What is the worst that can happen?

Just try it. Try it. Doesn't he get taxed or something? He got attacked by like the mailman or something, didn't this? I can't remember. Wasn't it, what came first? Was it, what's the worst that can happen? Or is it so mid-sunders?

I think misunderstood. I think that was the American slogan. On the nose, this Pepsi Max tropical is, I got a lot of orange on the nose, weirdly, which isn't one of the traditional sweet of... The tin does not tell you what flavourings are in it. It smells like a bag of Haribot, right? Yeah, a bit, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which, again, I'm not complaining about that. Which is great. Fine with that. Nice to smell than the raspberry. I'm going in. Oh, that hits the spot, right? Oh, that's much better than the Raspberry one for a start. Because, because, because, you...

You're not searching for the flavour. It just, pow, hits you. Hit you like a boxing glove, right on your tongue. Yeah, the flavour's there. It's strong. And the effervescence is better, and it's less weak tasting, definitely, than the raspberry. It's less weak to taste.

It still tastes a little bit weak, fairly weak. It's got a creamy finish. It's got a sort of mouth feel, yes. Like an orange creamy finish. It has a mouth feel, a softer mouthfeel, yes. Or it coats your tongue. Yeah, do you know what I mean? It just sort of slides over it and fucks off.

That's the difference. That's why it, for me, is less weak tasting than the raspberry. Yeah. It has that mouth feel that the coating yeah. It's almost

syrupy, you know what that Japanese that Japanese raspberry one is kind of like the flavor disappears before the liquid leaves your mouth

you know whereas this is like you know what it's trying to do you're like with the raspberry one you're like what's the point

at this and with this it's like I get it yeah yeah I don't know to the bit I would prefer

to be able to taste some more distinct fruit so I'm just getting a sort of orange Just a sort of weird All mangoy almost

A little bit mangoy Let's say Can you taste the mango I can But that's the only thing Can you taste the pineapple? Can you taste the pineapple? I can't taste pineapple

And can you taste peach? I'm not getting peach I'm not getting peach I'm only getting mango I'm getting a little bit of peach A little bit of peach Just a little bit of peach Not too bad

Not too bad Very sweet tasting Out of five though That's the important And it hasn't got What do you think Paul Because you're the one Who really

object to the fake sugar taste. That's fine. I think the fact that the flavour itself, the added component tropical flavour, is enough to mask this stronger fake sweet notes of the thing you've been doing. I think if it was full fat, like, you know, they didn't compromise.

You know what I mean? It would be like a real wham, bang, thank you, man. You like that, obviously, Nick. I'm only going to go 2.25 for that. Oh, 2.25 is a very special. average. And I prefer the cherry. I mean, I prefer Max Cherry to that. Here's a thing. We're not going to do a compare it to cherry thing because there's no point on that. It's got a standard by its own country. We know that we know that Pepsi Max Cherry is the king or queen.

Yeah, you know. Fizzy cola drinks, right? So put that out your mind. Stop the comparisons, treat it on its own terms. Okay. All right. So you're going to stick with 2.3. 2.3. 2. 3? Yeah. Oh, Christ. Nick, what are you going to put in? I'm only going to give it a three. I was going to give it a three as well, funnily enough.

But, um... Which is high from me. But I'm comparing it directly to the Raspberry one, which was just pathetic. It was bad, very bad that. Just weak, weak sauce. Weak source. Wait, hang on. What's the next one?

The next door? Could I borrow a Diet Pepsi? Sure. Come in. Yes. Here's your Diet Pepsi. That must be my roommate, Danny. Danny

Hi, I'm Danielle You got another diet Pepsi Sure Diet Pepsi Is a joy of a new generation Now, let's get That was up to date But I'm gonna Trump you

Right No pun intended With this one I got from the States What's the pun? Yeah Donald Trump Oh, because he loves him Yeah

Yeah, right Do I? Yeah, you do You say it in your sleep Oh Oh, Mr Donald Trump He'd go, oh, Hap,

B, B, B, B, B, Trump. Oh, you're fired. You're fired, I say. Oh, Mr. Trump. Tell me you're fired. Tell me you're fired. Oh, Mr. Trump. How many times am I in that file?

Oh, tell me. Seven times. This is new. Right. Are you in the Epstein file? Seven times. Bloody hell. It would have been eight, but I couldn't make the flight.

Show. So. The next Pepsi drink we're tasting today, everyone, is Pepsi Wild Cherry. This is full sugar. So this will be the first of our action. full fat ones, I think. And what makes it wild cherry? Cool, isn't it?

Right. Okay. This is what we're going to discover. Well, this is full fat. So this is kind of, I guess, what the closest we would get to of a non-diet Pepsi Max cherry would be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this is kind of like, it's, what do you call it, it's kind of like... Neat. Yeah, it's base level. It's uncut. Yes, but... It's the gunship, rub it on you,

isn't there something called Pepsi cherry? A cherry flavored Pepsi. You never see that? No, I don't think we're... So that's what they've come back round to their full fat ones. Now, also notice the American... Well, Pepsi Max Cherry is basically eclipsed Pepsi Max and Pepsi. Yeah.

So Pepsi Max Cherry is basically Pepsi's main flagship drink now. Right. So perhaps they're trying to get back into the sort of full fat market with this new wild cherry. There is cherry Pepsi. Yeah. That does exist. That is not a Max.

What does it say about wild cherry? Well, that's it. All it says now is you can only get Pepsi Wild Cherry from America in big box. So at the moment, there used to be a cherry Pepsi, but now it looks like the one. This is the replacement to cherry Pepsi. Well, certainly the one that they're doing now. Are you ready to taste it, guys? It was, you call it, it's cherry Pepsi Prime, isn't it?

That's our prime. That's like, without any compromises. Yeah, no comp. This is our full fat Pepsi cherry. I'm excited. Now, there are something I saw in the States, which I couldn't get hold of, but is quite an exciting development in all of this. Prebiotic, Pepsi Prebiotic.

Have you heard of this? What, like Activia? Yeah, like Jamie Lee Curtis. What's mean? She has efforts for it. She advertises... Has she got good gut health? She's got...

You'd hope so. She advertises gut yogurt. Yeah, no. It's a trended gut... Jamie Lee Curtis's gut yogurt. It's like... It's like you turned on by that. It's just anything Jamie Lee Curtis you're turned on by.

Just put her face on a bag of shit, then you'd be turned on by that. I don't know quite if I'd go that far, but I'd consider it. Yeah, exactly. I'd consider it. It's more to do with, firstly, kombucha comes out, right? Which has probiotic cultured properties, right? All right, all right, all right. And then you've got a very strong trend in soda,

in both here and in America, of added fibre and added live culture sodas. And they taste bad, a lot of them, real bad. But Pepsi are nipping that in the bud, and they are the first of the big brands they're brought out own healthy soda prebiotic two flavors did you try any did you have no because i was in fucking walmart and they had it there and it's this huge 24 cans just getting it back you've just been to florida i couldn't justify it yeah no no no don't apologize i've tried to buy 24 cans i tried to source as many different types of pepper from the state as i could

make me mate all love i love i love this size of bottle as well that these american ones are chunky they're like little chunky boys aren't they love them god fucking hell a mountain jew shaped like like that. Muckin' out. You don't know whether the trick you or sticking up your ass. See it's, fucking delicious.

That was, I mean, if you were into ass play, that would be good. Oh my God. Good chonk, you'd go. That'll keep you going.

But make sure you've got the lid on before you do that. Oh, you don't want to cause a vacuum. No, and rip your innards out. You could, yeah. It'll just pull you in it out. It'll tickle your in it.

Oh, you've got a lot. We're here in Nick Helms' beautiful flat with all sorts of great memorabilia and esoterical all over the walls. I'm noticing some themes. You've got creature from the Black Lagoon. He likes his Universal Monsters.

Elvira. Universal Monsters also love that stuff. But here, he's just indicated. It's a shame they cancelled through the Keogh, because I reckon this would be a good one to do. It'd be amazing. Who lives in a house like this? Isn't he dead, Lloyd Grossman?

No. He's in a rock band. Is he? Oh, yeah. It sucks. It sucks, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, God.

I saw him on telly. It was awful. It was awful Grossman, like, earnestly rocking out. Just the earnestness of it. Oh, no. Who'd use a chord like this? You don't agree? I don't agree.

I reckon he's giving it as all. Anyway, him and Neil Buchanan should team up and form the ultimate supergroup. Does he, he, musical? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's not rock band. You know, the only time you see him these days is, like, fan-made videos of where he's been doing some gig and he's decked out in his, like, status quo leathers and denim and stuff.

Halfway through the show, he makes Batman out of bin lines. There's a drawing made of salt So Mountain Jew Started using like sugar But then they had like What's the other one? It's syrup It's um

High fructous corn syrup Yeah so then they released this old one Which is like a retro mountain juice With the real sugar With real sugar with the corn syrup So it's like three or four different versions of mountain syrup Yeah And what he's indicating is

On the wall of the flat here Is a sign A Mountain Dew sign It's cold, it's It'll tickle your inids. I didn't know they used that as the... No, it's a strange one as well, really, when you think about it. You don't want your innards tickled.

I don't want... No one near my inids. You could say it'll irritate your stomach. I mean, that would be a similar meaning? Well, they only realised that Mountain Dew was a drink years after they used it as a... Like a quite a volatile dildo. I know a bit about the history of Mountain Dew. Great.

Invented as a mixer for booze. Like a sour, sweet sour mix. Yeah. Like a mixer to mix with your whiskey. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, great. Yeah. The people still use it in cocktails, that are.

Of course. I mean, they usually tend to use Sprite, don't they? It's reputation much more now like gamers and like, you know. What is, what flavour is Mountain Dew? Orange. Green flavour. Is it orange? I think it's got orange component.

It's not like lemon, lime, orange. It might be all of the... Bring back Sunny Dee. You love Mountain Jew. You love Mountain Jew. Mountain Jew. I can't stand. Mountain Jew when it first came over to England. Like, I was in Florida when I first tasted it.

It was at a... What's the fish bar that they've got? The fish bar? Yeah, it's a fast food fish bar. They do fish and chips. Is it Captain Silvers? Oh, yeah. Long John Silvers?

Long John Silvers. Apparently, they're really good. Long John Silver's was great. And basically it's all like filial fish, right? Yeah. But they do these massive, like, massive jokes. Hello there, I'm a Philippo fish. And I'm here with my new restaurant

in the United States of America, so I am. And I'm here to give you a nice big portion of the old-grown Irish chips, so I am. Hello, Philippa fish. Right. Okay, is that. Martin 2 was the best. Get it. Wow, it was really good that.

Thank you. Shall we taste this wild cherry? Yeah. Okay. What was the name of that band that did hit me with your rhythm stick? No, no, not there. The injury in the blockhead.

Sorry, play that funky music white boy. Average white band. No, it's not average white band. Cherry lips or something. Black cherry. No, cherry. Wild cherry. That's what I'm getting to. Was that the same in the name of the band?

Wild cherry played that funky music white boy? Yeah. Oh, right. Yes, it is wild cherry. I thought I would have known that. It is wild cherry. Play that funky music, white boy. Of course, the reason we all know that is a...

Yeah, wild cherry! Yeah. As a generation, the reason we all know that song is because of the... It's a good song. The Bud Light advert, surely, with the ants. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. The Bud Light advert with...

Bud Light. Oh, yeah. And then they'd all sing like, play that funky music White Boy. I don't remember that. And then it brought it back in the late 90s, didn't it? Yes. I always get them confused with the average white bear. who was Scottish

because they were called the average white band and they played funk and their hit was pick up the pieces Yeah, that's right How does pick up the pieces go? He goes

Duna na na na na na na na Na na na na Na na na na na Oh yeah Yeah Yeah D do Ditt do

That's my favourite bit Na na na na na na na na na na Yeah Yeah Pretty good From the movie swingers Now, that's got a almondy. That's an almondy.

Oh, it tastes like it's already got the Amaretto in there already. It does, yeah. Very almondy on the nose. Diser wrong. Mark Olmond. Have I done my nose? Minichre one. Yeah, just a tiny Mark Olman.

I keep in a matchbox. Almond side almond. Yeah, almond, almond. Interesting. You've tasted it. Interesting. Not what I was expecting. I like it, but it's got a watery aftertaste,

which kind of takes away the flavor. drank the other two under the concession that their diet drinks and so i've kind of like going yeah for a diet drink sure this is a full fat sugar drink it's got one of them you know when you the sugar hits your tongue and it kind of dries your tongue out a dryingness yes it's like it doesn't taste dry like it's not sweet but it tastes like like you would say with wine it literally feels like it dries your tongue off yes and it's the it's the it's the it's the citric acid sort of effect. Yeah, it's drawing the moisture

weight in your tongue that thing. Wicking, in fact. Wicking. It's not, it's not particularly refreshing. It's not particularly

sweet and it doesn't particularly taste of cherry. No. Or what? It smells a little bit of cherry. It's pleasant. It's okay. It's just a standard.

It's a standard cherry cola drink, I'd say. Very standard. I'm going to give it another three. I drink a lot of that, but I admit it doesn't wow me. It's not as sweet as the tropical, is it?

The tropical has got a much more sweet hit. It doesn't taste of If I'd have ordered that, if I'd have ordered like a regular Pepsi, perhaps, and they'd have given me that, I might not have twig to me, especially if it was mixed with something. I wouldn't necessarily go, right, that's got cherry in it. I prefer Pepsi-Max cherry to this.

Yeah. Can I shock you? I might agree. Yeah. I might agree. That's not nice. It's not nice. It's not terrible.

It's generic. Yeah, very generic. It's kind of weak, sauce. Whereas at least with Mac, there's a lot of. of things going on with Max at the same time. Leastred Max. I just think Max is a bit of formulation. Good album, that. Did you hear that, everyone, by the way?

Paul has said he prefers a sugar-free version to a sugar version. Up is down, black is white, what is wrong? Yeah, so that's the first time that's ever happened. We need a score. Yeah, I've given it three. I'm fine with that. I'd say there's a whole wave

of crushing disappointment out and fighting against here. I'd say 2.5. 2. How good is it? 0.5. What about you, Mr. Silverman? I prefer it to the tropical. The tropical, to me, had no amplitude, no definition to the flavour component. You said 2.25 for tropical?

I'll go 2.7 for this. I feel that, you know... It's quite generic. It's around the midway point, but yeah. The tropical thing is trying to do something that's quite invasive to the Pepsi, right? Where it's kind of trying to take over the flavour of the Pepsi. Whereas I think it really works when it complements. We can still go identify it as a Pepsi.

As a co, the cola element. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this tastes almost, if we're judging this as just a cola, it's fine. But if we're judging it as like a flavoured cola, it kind of leaves a lot to be designed. I agree. I agree. Right, next one, my turn. Getting in a bit gassy.

Let's have a bird break, everyone. Why? Waset? Passet. Okay. Clese. Abvious. Deidious.

Revellous. What a wuss. Speechless Met's them full of taste and no sugar Obsessed Possessed Impressed No context

Live right to the Met Yay Is it my term Mother Are you recording That's kind of like It's not just the Aftertaste

The after effect of that It's like You're right It's like It doesn't offer Enough cherry Enough flavour Enough flavour

For you to go I'll do full fat, you might as well just go Pepsi match cherry. Absolutely. A much better experience. Yeah, I prefer it. It's a much better drive down the lagoon, do you know what I mean? My prediction is that's not going to be a hit.

This new wild cherry is not going to be a hit. What the fuck is wild cherry? It's just another... Can you pass me the bottle? What's the... It's got... Oh, I saw some blue stuff on there, but that's the blue cherry leaves. The way they're blue just from Pepsi.

I don't understand why it's blue cherry. Wild cherry. I mean, what is the... What is the flavor elements that makes something wild? I've never encountered a wild cherry. What the fuck is a wild cherry? Maybe captive cherries are forced to have more flavour in them and that's why it's bad.

Yeah, battery cherries. There's loads of them. Have you ever seen, like, what bananas used to look like? These are free range. Like wild bananas. It's like, they're like that shaped, like a big, like pellet shaped thing. And it's all seed.

It's like fucking two massive seeds in it. That's what a banana used to be like, before we cultivated them. Before we narrowed them and bent them. Also, wild strawberries, like horrible, little stringy, little bitter things. I'm glad we genetically modify stuff.

And I'm proud to stand by that statement. I'm disappointed with all the pepsies we've had so far. Well, here's the next one. And this one is a little bit. Can I revise this? It's a little bit. What? I'm going to put the tropical above this.

You did already. No, I didn't. I put this at 2.7. No, yeah, 2.7 for cherry. I said 2.25 for the tropical. I'm going to go, can I just lift the tropical to 2.75? 2.7. I mean, that's...

And I'm going to put this down. to 2.5. I think it's just middle of the road, just completely generic really, cola. Good. Here's the next one, and the next one's a little bit more fan. That's the first one that I've kind of like,

that's repeated on me where I've kind of not even enjoyed the after burp. Do you know what you mean? How do you think you're going to go with white pomello? White pomello and bamboo flavor. Pepsi. What the fuck is going on? What the fuck? You should have flagged this out with a full fire,

Bona-alert. Oh my God. So, we got this from... What's that place in Camden we got it from? Long Dan. Pardon? Sorry, I didn't... No, I generally didn't hear that.

Long Dan. Thank you. And what did Long Dan say about this? He said it's £10 an hour. Right. It's very cheap. He works in hospitals mainly. Oh, that guy.

Oh, nice. Oh, this is great. You know, bag, suck. Fuck, bag. It's a fun-fant bag. Tying back together in him. He popped in one at me tonsils out. We're masters of the court.

Yeah, that's it. Right. Okay, I was for making sure there's any of the page on the bottle, but there wasn't. This is just it. So what fruit is that? This is bamboo and white pomello-flavored Pepsi. And what's the pomello? I don't know, actually, but I presume it's a flower. Oh, it's a little kind of pear thing, I think.

It's a citrus fruit. Yeah. It's a citrus pear. And what's the flavor profile of bamboo? Is it just sugar? Sweet. I don't quite understand. No.

Well, let's just fucking find out. They're crazy. What bamboo. I mean, you get bamboo in a Chinese meal, don't you? And it's more of a textural thing than an actual flavoural thing. Maybe this is going to be particularly woody and crunchy. Yeah. I don't think it would be like drinking a pencil case.

There's nothing on the nose that instantly says, oh, this is a bit funny. Is it fizzy? I mean, fizzy enough. Yeah, a little bit fizzy. I never found Pepsi particularly, let me be longstanding. I get overly excited when Pepsi changed their packaging as well. I really love. I love that old school.

I love the packaging here that you got here. It's like, it looks like, it looks like. something special, a little bit special. And this one we're on now. It's quite attractive because it has a sort of... A narrow neck, isn't it? And it's a pleasing design of the pomellos and the bamboo. It's a bit like something...

It's a bit like something that you might get in, like, A Back to the Future. Oh, what's that called in the film? As an alternative universe, an alternative timeline, Pepsi. No, what's the name of the Pepsi in that film? Pepsi Free. Is that what it's called in the film? It's a diet Pepsi.

The stuff that comes out of the machine, you know, in the retro cafe. Isn't that just Pepsi? No, it's got a name. It's called Pepsi Pure or Pepsi One or, or, or. something they call it. Oh, right. Okay. Something like that.

Pepsi as well, this is hard to believe, were the first corporation to tap into the African American market in the States. Really? The market directly to them. Like adverts and stuff directly for those communities. And spokespeople from the community and so forth.

Really? Because Coke had Bill Cosby, didn't they? Exactly. Pepsi did it before. Before Bill Cosby did all that stuff. Right. Anyway, on the nose. It's a normal colour.

On the nose. It's just kind of Pepsi. I can't see anything. unique to it. But it's in the taste. Wow. Wow. I'm getting a sort of citrusy on the nose.

A sort of subtle citrusy. It's like if you took Pepsi and made it more into a herbal natural drink, profally flavory thing. Again, I mean, I can't really taste much difference between having a Pepsi with a slice of lemon in it. Yeah, I'm getting fuck all from that. Do you know what? It's a slight, very, it's very subtle.

It's sort of flour. It's got a florally note to it. It's sweet. It's very sweet in that way that I'm thinking maybe it's sugar-free. I didn't say sugar-free on it, to be fair, so I don't know. No, it's fructose. It's got fructose and sugar. It's very sweet, yeah.

It's sweet. It tastes like Pepsi. It's got a slight variant in it. So I would say, out of all of the drinks, so far, it's probably the nicest. It's the most refreshing, I think. It has a sort of... It has got a heavy flavor. You're right.

It's almost herbal. You're very right. It's almost... Popery-ish. Almost floral. It's got a floral taste that hangs in your nose after you've drank it. Yes. And Harry that out, you can...

Which I don't find particularly pleasant. But it's very different. It smells a little bit like you've walked into a room that's filled with talcum powder. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take that. A little bit, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit like walking past the counter, perfume counter.

Yes, but it's not soapy and then it's not overwhelming. No. It's fine. It's quite a refreshing cola, to be fair. I think it doesn't have anything outstanding. The first bang in your tongue, right? The first The first flavour that you get

It's really sweet And I like It's not like the secondary flavour comes in later It's like you taste it all in one go Right But then it sort of dissipates quite quickly It does And then you're just kind of left with this kind of

Quite unpleasant Not even like your mouth has been filled with Poperies Yes Yeah I know what you mean It's not even a flavour It's like a smell

It doesn't suffer from the wateriness No No not all Of the The wild cherry And the raspberry And it doesn't dry your tongue out Like the, what was that

The wild cherry did No No I like it I like it It's my favourite So far I'm gonna give it four I would drink lots more of that

I would give it Yeah What's the highest I've given it Three so far I'll give it 3.5 Oh 3.5 And you like 3.25 for me

3.25. 3.25. 3.25. 3.25. 3.25. 3.25. 3.25. I'm going to do an aggregate at the end. Let's see which our favourite of these. Pepsi variants. So it's your last one. Your last Pepsi. Aha. Right, right, right. I don't want to lose the fizz on this. Pomelo. Just one pomello. I mean, it is good. I'd be interested to actually know what a pomello taste like. I think that would be, I think that's what's holding me back from giving it a, I think it's similar to, giving it a real good going over. Do you know, burgomot? No.

That is the flavour in Earl. What, is that a burgomop? Is it a little mop? Burgumont. I think it's Bergamont. Bergamont. Is the flavour in Earl Grey tea? It's an orange thing, isn't it?

And that is a citrus. Orange blossom. But it has sort of herbal notes. And I'm getting a similar, almost burgomont from this. Do you see what I mean? It's a spicy citrus. That's what a parmele is. Oh, what is it?

Describe it to us. Also known as a shaddock is the largest citrus fruit. It is an ancestor of several... It's a shadow of a bollock. It just says it's like a bitter... These bollocks don't have shadows because the light goes through the skin. It goes right like a batter signal.

And they disappear when you look in the mirror. Oh, oh. Guys, I heard this story. Can I just give this to the next book the phone down. It's apparently it's flavor profiles across to be bitter orange and grapefruit. Yeah. Yeah, all right. But you're not getting that, are you?

It's too quick. Commit. that bit, if they committed to that bitterness more, I know they don't really do that with soft drinks because they want to appeal to a lot of people, that would be, that would make that something special. But also, what's the bamboo contributing?

What's the bamboo? The bamboo's bollocks. Well, if you took the bamboo out, what would change the flavor? Nothing. I think it's just because they, I don't know. Well, this is a fruit.

This is a fruit that none of us know the flavor of. Yeah. Right? So there's obviously the bamboo is contributing something. Bamboo has it almost bitter. Well, do we say what the internet says. It says it's a mild and sweet taste. but very bitter when not cooked but sweeter when cooked.

Weird. Right, next drink, next drink, next drink, last drink, Pepsi go. Oh, this is the last one I've got. What was your story you're going to tell us? Oh yeah, tell your story, go on, sorry. So, apparently, and this is true, apparently, my mate, they're like a bunch of posh twats in Bristol, right? And, like, they're all doing ecstasy, and what happens? In fact, I used to have...

Ecstasy? Yes. Pills. You said it like estacy? Yeah. Estacy. all right go on yeah

only time grander and they'd be doing a lot of pills right and like one of the guys they were all laughing at he's done loads of pills and they were all laughing at it's little Willie

because it does it shrinks your peepee so can I just ask how we went from Pepsi to this because like we were talking about pamello fruit and then you went well whoa whoa well whoa

Pepsi Pepsi Pee Pee Pepsi right I'm just wondering what was your thought process I don't know now I just tell the story Paul no no

so I can continue break up the soft drink chat. That's fine. I just wanted to know what your thought process was. Paul, Paul, Paul, Eli. So you were saying

that when you take lots of XE it shrinks your penis. Yes, and I used to have... So how many pills have you taken today? No ecstasy today. Why are you looking like... Has you got X-rayed?

I just assumed we'd be fully dressed when we did this. Now, penises. And, in fact, it's a well-known thing that it just shrink your dick. I had a whole... Well, it's not that well-known.

I had a whole stand-up joke about it. Oh, here we go. I used to say, oh, the problem with cocaine is it shrinks your penis. It shrinks my penis so much it goes backwards in time. And then I finger, like, last Tuesday or something like that. I can't remember how it went to it. It was good. Back was in time.

Anyway. 11 minutes 30, I think. I'm getting big laughs with that. Did you? Did you? Yes. Did you ever do it when I was in the room? No.

I can't remember you. I remember that bit of stand-up. Yeah. I used to say, it trinks your dick so much that you end up fingering yourself. Because it's like inverted. It shrinks. Did you write that on my dick? Did Mark write that?

I wrote that. Just checking. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I would Mark Allen, his mate, who... So this guy, right. Apparently, they're all laughing at him, going, you've got Pilly-Willy, Pilly, Willie, Pilly, Pilly-Willy. And they put a ring on it, and he...

Well, you better put a ring on it. He woke up, his penis was blackened, and he had to get it amputated. Wait, so we had a small willy because of ethnicity. For a laugh, they put a ring around it. He just gave me. He was like, whoa. I've just got to go and take some jewelry off.

Oh, yeah. So, let that be a lesson to you. Don't take ecstasy, put a ring around your penis and then fall asleep. He didn't put the ring around it. It was a bunch of children doing a poem. Ring around the willy. How long did he leave the ring on his dick? He must have done so much and drunk so much that he passed out.

But he didn't put the ring on it. It was like his so-called friends. It's one of those, you know what I mean? Oh, God. If you like it then, you're better put a ring on it. And have some friends who are fucking humans. Anyway. That reminds you of a friend of mine

whose mum got brain damage because she fell asleep in the hot sun and she was so hot she put an ice bag of peas on her head and then went to sleep and then when she woke up

It froze in her brain and it gave her brain damage from moving in brain damage. Fuck, God that's almost worse! I don't know. I'd rather have brain damage than a blackened shriveled penis that I have to have amputated

to be clear again. It's gone off. No, it's doctor! My penis has gone off. Every morning my penis is going off. They'd let you keep it, surely. You go in a jar, so he's right. He is right.

You've got your penis. You have a little formaldehyde. Anyway. Oh, what's that one? This seems to be in the same range as the previous one. What's this? This is. Plum or is it peach?

Peach. Wild peach. This is white peach and oolong tea flavoured. Oh. Oolong. Are you not a tea fan? Um, it's just, I just, I just, I just...

It's a bit like... Just do it right once. You know, like Batman. When they make movies. Just do it right once. They were never not... They were never not gonna make a sequel to Batman. They were never not.

There was one of the most overhyped that film couldn't fail, I don't think. No, I don't mean only make one. I mean, just do Batman right once and then do whatever you like. Right. You know what I mean? Well, you're saying do sequels to it or...

Well, I'm just like saying that, you know, Christopher Nolan wasn't Batman. was it? Oh my God, I hate those Batman. And Tim Burton was a version of Batman but not really Batman. Whereas the animated version of Batman is, to me, that's what Batman is. Mask of the Phantom, I would honestly say it's one of the best Batman things ever.

I'd say it might be the best Batman film. Yeah, it's very, very good. That is what Batman is and everything else is a variant on it. And also, the animated version works better as a sort of version of the comic, if you see what I mean. It's that sort of unreality. From Tim Burton over there and the series over there

and the old Hanna-Barbera cartoons over there, could match it altogether. Whereas this is like, we got Pepsi with peach. You go, great. Yeah, but we put some tea in it. And it's like, well, now I've got to work out what the tea is and what the peach is.

But this has got a similar design to the previous. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. But I would suggest from what we couldn't pick up on the bamboo in this one at all, right? So I'm saying the Oolong in this

is going to be an after four as well, isn't it? It's going to be, yeah, I reckon. But they're beautiful bottles, aren't they? Imagine if they were, like some sort of like a like a terracotta kind of umbrella stand or something like that they'd be beautiful to have as

they would look lovely on a mantel piece yeah like one each end yeah something like that with a flower in just to kind of accentuate it I just think they've got they've knocked out of the park I just had another sip of that Pamelo yeah I like it well so far it is your favourite but let's crack into peach

it is my favourite so far so I'm going to get your peach out so we're heading into the one two, three, four. This is the, one, two, three, four, five. This is the fifth one we've done. All right, cool. I actually do have one more, but that's part of the price of shite

and you'll see why when we get there. All right, cool. Yeah, that last one, I don't like the, I might knock it down half. I do not like the, the floral. There was like a, like a remnant, like a tiny, tiniest.

And it's like filled my mouth with this horrible, floral flavor. Like potpoury sort of thing. Not even a flavor, not even a flavor, a smell. A smell, yes. There is a little bit of a tea note here. Or certainly something that rounds out like the kind of, what is it?

Tamin. What's that fucking thing? Tannin. Tannin. It's got like a tannin note. This is the peach and oolong tea one. No, no, no, no. They've gone and bollocks it up again.

I don't mind that. I don't mind this. This is actually quite nice, I think. Nick, what are your thoughts there? Again, flavor, you know, weak flavor, watery. But again, with sugar, so it dries, your tongue out. It doesn't really

particularly taste of peach, doesn't taste anything like tea. I'm getting a woody you kind of note. Maybe a little bit of tea. That's that woody, there's a sort of woodiness,

almost. It's a bit, it's got iced tea notes to it. You know that kind of generic iced tea flavour that you can think of. It's got a little bit of that with the Pepsi sweetness

thrown on. And I'm not against him. As far as I'm concerned, if it's refreshing, I don't mind it and that's kind of refreshing. I'm not getting peach at all or tea.

I'm just getting this weird woodiness. I am getting peach. I'm not really getting peach. Maybe as a very vague, oh, you know what, as a very vague after taste, yeah. It's at the back.

It tastes like it's sweet, but then it immediately goes watery in your mouth. I think the Pamela is stronger than that, I have to say. Well, I'm going to say three for that. I enjoyed it. I don't think it's amazing, but actually,

if on a hot day, I could neck that easily. I mean, have you got another one, Paul? One more, but it's part of the price of shike. Right. Oh, so is this what we've got to deal with?

Because nothing's gone above 3.5 for me. Well, I gave the bamboo one for. We're not sponsored. We don't have to love these pepsies. We don't have to love them. I'm disappointed though. Yeah. Mind you.

It's like Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, isn't it? It's like she travels all over Oz and she meets all these new friends, but she realizes that there's no place like at home. There's no place like home. Pepsi Max Cherry. And really this journey through Oz that we've gone on has just proved that. It's just proved that Pepsi Match Cherry is probably king. It is.

It is. I'm going to give it three. What are you safe for? the peach one, I'm going to go down to 2.1 for that. 2.1. At that point, can I just say 2.1. You can say, no, you can say 2.1, which is the score I'm giving. Fine, okay, go on. Nick. Yeah, do you know what? It's no better or worse than the last one. I'd give it a three as well. All right, okay, three, six. But the world, do you know what? If we didn't have that watery

aftertaste, and there was about, I don't know, 3% more peach in it. Yeah, it'd be a stronger contender. I like the Pamelo aftertaste. Well, shall I tell you the overall scores of what we've done, rather than go through each one individual, I just give you the rounded up eventual final scores. So for Raspberry, eventually, after our voting, we gave it four. Out of 15. Yeah, 15.

Tropical, 8.55. Out of 15. Out of 15. Wild cherry, 8.2. Wow. People like the wild cherry. Apparently so. 5, 6, 7, 8, 5, 3, 4, 6, 7. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I want to try I added it right.

The bamboo one, that came out as 10.75. And then the Oolong 8.1. So it goes bamboo, Oolong, cherry, tropical, raspberry in that order. Raspberry was, raspberry was very bad. Oh, sorry, raspberry. Sorry, yeah, it was. Bottom to top, please. Bottom to top.

So worst, raspberry, then wild cherry, then tropical, then Oolong, then bamboo. Oh, so they were the stars of the show. They were, indeed. Well, they're the champagne of pepsies. Yes. But, but... Now, they're not champagne colas, everybody. Because don't get confused.

What's the champagne cola? It's a whole other category of soft drink that isn't very much related to what we call cola here in the West. For example, Inca Cola, it's orange, basically. It's a whole different thing. It's more fruity. It's a whole different thing.

It's a whole different world, mate. Once we open your lips to it, it'll change everything, you know. Oh, I can't wait to open my lips. Too much wind and ambilious. Are we going to do... What? Play the Price of Shite now.

It is now time for me to reach into my bag of treat and play The Price of Shite. Can I have quit? Yeah, now's the perfect time for we. Yeah. New cherry Pepsi Now my life is sweet. Sweet taste of success.

I'm on top of the beat. Beat this if you can. I'm a man of wealth and taste. Taste the good life, baby. See the smile on my face. Too much too. Good for words just like I always knew. Moor cherry Pepsi.

Grab some taste of a good life. Slaves up. It's the fucking price of shard. It's the fucking price of shot. Oh, it's the fucking price of shat. And that's right. Thank you. It's the price of shite.

It's the price of shite. No, you've missed it now. You've missed it. Don't do it. It is that we go to charity shops and such and we buy cheap things and we have to guess the price of the cheap things. We've done it at 500 fucking times. Let's get on with it. So I will preface it by saying this.

Everything I bought today was off eBay. Oh, okay. And if you want a... A ceiling of how much I spent on these four items. I will tell you now that altogether it came to 22 British pounds. Wow. All right, okay. One item came from America.

Okay. And they're all Pepsi themed because there's quite a lot of Pepsi merch from pin badges to books to fucking records to albums to... I'm so sexy with my Pepsi as well. That's a great song. Too sexy for my Pepsi. No, no. Yeah?

No, it doesn't go like that. It says. No, it doesn't. It doesn't go like that. Paulie doesn't go like that. No, I believe it. I'm too sexy for my Pepsi. I'm too sexy for my Pepsi.

I'm dyslexic and I don't spell good, but I'm sexy with my Pepsi. You could have run. I'm in the... Hey, hey, I'm dyslexy, but I'm sexy and I got a lot of Pepsi. You put the sexy and dyslexie is what you're saying. Is that it? Dyslexies Midnight Runners. Yeah.

Right. Here's the first item. We have four items. Here is the first one that I bought from eBay. I love the merch as well. There's a lot of merch. And I try to get a nice variety of stuff. What's the first item? This. Oh my God. Eli or Nick, explain what I've just revealed.

This is a Pepsi Strawberries and Cream plush set. There are two cans flanking a plush Pepsi Anthroportmorph. A little plush, strawberry and cream Pras. Strawberry and creams Pepsi. Oh, it's beautiful. We have to taste this shit as well. Yes, you do. That's why it came with cans.

So, yeah, it's a little plush. It was part of some, obviously, some kind of campaign when they brought the drink out. I think this is a UK thing. I don't think this is the American one. Strawberries and cream flavour. This is the one. They've got the Pepsi and cream,

and then they've got the strawberries and cream, haven't they? Yeah. And then there's godly and cream and Pepsi and Shirley. So how did that work out? I'm fairly bilious. It's weird, isn't it? Because I don't think we've drank that much.

I could probably, I could demolish at least twice as much of what we already drank in one session. It's because we were tasting it. You can really swung it down, don't you? God. You take it a lot more air in, I think. It's like when you do like a shot of lager

every 10 minutes. Oh yeah, we did that once. Do you remember? No, I was on a stag do and I did it. Yeah. It was a stag d'i. Do you imagine me in all your memories now? Is that what it is?

Yeah, you're always there. I'm just there. I'm just there. Oh, I remember my first. 50th birthday. Paul, remember that, don't you? Have you ever tried to do that, Nick? They're drinking a shot of beer every minute for like...

Is it a minute? Yeah, no, it's four minutes, isn't it, or something, for an hour? And you're on the ground by the end. You're on the floor. Oh, wow. This plush is quite nice. It's beautiful. It's got metallic, bottom and top.

Yeah. Two little legs, two little arms. Oh, it's metallic, but it's also sort of like a rainbow, like rainbow-y... Oh, it's slightly iridescent to the matthanaic as well. Eredescent, that's really nice. It's lovely. It's very cute. What's that word?

You know, that word they use for... Japanese manga anime style, like kawi or whatever it is. Which cutifies objects. Yeah. And they do it to their cars and stuff as well, don't they? Oh, poop. Anything. Toilets.

They've got mad toilets in Japan, don't they? Do they? Yeah. You've got a little button that plays music. You've got a... I've seen the toilet thing where it plays the sound of a flush before the actual flush to cover the sound of the plop-plops, and then you actually flush it.

No, I want some motivational music. Like if I press it, it goes, push it real good. Salt and pepper. Were they ever in the charts at the same time as Pepsi and Shirley? I thought that Pepsi and Shirley were like a reaction to salt and pepper. They were very much a British version, weren't they? What was the Pepsi and Shirley hit? Who knows?

Who cares? Hang on, do we need to find out? Yes. Otherwise, what's this all about? Now we're going to taste this as well. Pepsi and Shirley's biggest hit. Heartache. Weird, don't remember that.

Is that what that goes? Heart take. Uh-uh, uh, uh-uh. Fool's game. That one. I do not know. Hang on. It is.

That's so 80s, isn't it? That sounds like... It's Madonna vibes in it. It sounds like Caribbean Queen. We're now we're sharing the same dream and our heart can be as one. Sorry, I know the one that you mean. Yeah, Caribbean Queen by Billy Ocean.

Oh, yeah, boy. Yeah, yeah. This sucks, man. Oh, oh, oh. Did Pepsi and Shirley go out with Millie Vanilly? When they like, wasn't one of Pepsi? Then you can get vanilla Pepsi. I like that one.

I like that. God. He's a cruel master, but he's fair. No, he's not fair. How much do you think the plush cost from eBay? Remembering that I spent no more than £22 overall across these four items. Eli, it's a lovely thing, brand new. It was mint in box.

There's a little bit of a threat. A defect on it. I think, I'm having a figure come into my mind. Yeah. Which is 599. 599. I will say this. There's no 99.

There's no 99. Or dot 76. It were all whole numbers. Yeah, it's either like 50p or a pound or whatever. You know what I mean? I'm going to say six pounds. Right. Nick, I'm going to say eight pounds.

Eight pounds. Oh, right out the gate. Right. Item number two. Do we taste it? If we should taste this strawberry. Oh, yeah. Go for it.

I forgot. I forgot. There's a whole. Eleventh testing. We'll only open the one camera. How have I cut myself? I don't know I've done that. Oh.

Thank you. Did you touch your penis? Fucking have to be you two men cattling. You've been on. Exist to see them all. They didn't just put a ring around it. They sharpened it. Sorry.

All right. You two want to calm down. Sorry. All right. It's all like your sister. It's got a nice ice creamy smell. It tastes like... It tastes like a McDonald's strawberry milkshake.

It really does, doesn't it? Yeah. That's the flavour, yeah. Yeah, but it doesn't have the weight to it like a strawberry milkshake would have that you'd want. And it's lacking in any kind of sharpness, the cola sharpness that you need. It gives that refreshing sort of...

I do. don't want a taste something that's meant to taste like milk. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I'm getting at. It's like, yeah, it's the milk flavour that it's fighting against the sort of cola, the cola tang. You know what I mean? It gives it a curdled note, which I don't fucking go on the scale. I think that these ones, when I saw the packaging in the shop, I was so excited.

I bought one of each. I bought a strawberry and cream and just a cream one. And when you taste them, it's just very disappointed. And it's kind of, it's kind of, why have you bothered? and why you're putting so much effort into this. I think they're trying to compete with Dr. Pepper. Have you had the fucking new pickle menu at KFC? We did it last week on the show.

Oh my God, absolutely fucking atrocious. We thought the burger was okay. The fricles were like, they were rancid. They were gross. They were gross. I got one, right? I opened the box for the burger. And there was like a ring of these fucking dehydrate.

Yeah, they're in part of peeling. Around the burger, though, like, not like they'd missed the burger. They were like on the cardboard box. In the cardboard box. It was fucking disgusting. That's not going to catch on. Absolutely gross. And you go like, what, a panel of people tasted that and said to the Colonel, yeah, do that.

The Colonel fucking, he should hang his head in shame. He needs to clear house. He needs to drain the swamp. He should hang his massive head in shame over his tiny little body. He should just stop listening to his advisors. The War Room. So we need a score, but we know you've already done it. You've already said.

He said, Oh, no, for the drinks. What do you want to give out five? Because I would give that one. I fucking hated that. I didn't hate it that much. I'm going to go low twos again, 2.2. I think two.

I'd give it a 2. It's better than whatever the fucking mouthwash was. So that's 4.2. And then I gave it 1, so 5.2 overall, yeah. So just above the raspberry, though. It's above the raspberry. Apparently so. Yeah, I prefer that to the raspberry one.

I, yeah. They're low cards. Wouldn't go back. Right, next item. What's the next item, Paul? I think you like this. It came in a pack. So it's three items, but they all count as one price altogether.

Okay. What's the maximum thing that you spent on? 22 altogether. 22 altogether. Hell of this one. Oh, these are cool. Oh, wow. What are these?

What the fuck are these? Oh, my God. These are Pepsi van toys that come in a little fake matchbox that you can put them in. Oh, they're really cool. You've got an orange. These are all VWs, aren't they? They're... Yeah.

All... Yeah, they're all VWs. This is called Carorama. Carorama. It comes with a little calendar. I don't know why. But ultimately, yeah, little car. These came from Hong Kong originally.

They also do other brands as cars. You know, like other brands of cars with brands on, if that makes sense. Funny. Right. They're beautiful. And there's some vintage Pepsi advertising just sort of on the pack there. And it's a calendar. Yeah.

Are we going to split one of these cards? For 2005, though. This is where these are from. These are vintage. Oh, they're beautiful. And an amazingly good Nick as well. We shouldn't open them. I mean, they look very.

I will say this. If you guys want these, you can have them. They were fresh out of the box, aren't they? They're like the big box. Yes, not these little boxes. They were obviously some kind of warehouse sitting in a warehouse because they look like they could have been manufactured yesterday. Honestly, we were talking minting box.

This is one of the definitions of that. Very much minting cards. Also, they're taking matchbox toys to the, they're literally... I mean, these are little lovely tins as well. Apparently, these are little metal tins as well as little die-cast cars. It's a lovely thing. thing. I think it's beautiful.

And it says on the back here, interestingly, Hongwell toys, not Hungwell, like the guy with the, he's got no dick at all. No, he's not Hongwell ass-or. Bloody hell. Keep laughing at it, mate. Like, go on.

It's just, it's like a horror film. You could do a horror short about that, couldn't you? Pilly dicky, you could call it. What happened to his friends? They ate his friends no more. They ate his friends no more. Fuck that. No.

I'd never speak to the fuckers ever again. You've ruined my life. If I led to, you should take him. of me when you were most vulnerable. But you all just went, Pilly, really, Pilly, really. Then when I passed out, you put a ring on my penis.

Let alone the whole sort of sexual transgression of that, like assault. Let alone that. Let alone your friends. They're not my friends. No, not your friends. One's friends. Just reaching mentally friends.

I've still got a one. I've still got a way. I've still got away. I'm all right. Me, my friends. Don't just my dick. I lost my penis in a completely different way. But what if?

It went backwards in time. No, regardless of all that. Your friends are just touching your cock when you're out. These fucking people. Anyway, it says in the back, Hongwell Toys... Yeah. Hongwell, which must have something to Hong Kong, maybe.

Hongwell Toys Limited has been authorised to manufacture the models under licence from the companies listed. And there's a massive list. Automobiles, Peugeotobloid. General Motors. Yeah. Lotus. Toyota.

Volvo. Pepsi. Yeah. Mazda. They're all cars, apart from Pepsi. Volkswagen. Do yours have a little advert? I love mine that says,

I didn't know ice cold Pepsi's catchphrase was More Bounce to the Outs. Oh, that's where Zapp got it from. More Bounsela. I said that earlier on in the episode. I didn't hear that at all. It's a bit like ticker your innards for Mouton June. More Bounce the Aounce. But then you know the Zapp song, right?

No. It's one of the most famous funk songs of the... And that's got that phrasing, hasn't it? It's called More Bounce the Auts by Zapp. I'm sure we've heard that. No. It's like a lot. a vocoder early. It's fucking classic.

It's fucking good song. Oh really? Oh, bounce, tronel. It goes like that. Like that. But each car is differently designed. It comes in a different little tin. But for three of them, because I bought this is a, you know, one unit. So how much do you think all these three together? Offrey. What's the maximum price

again? Twenty-two pounds fifty? Two all four. You've said eight. I'd say, I'd say ten. Ten for that. Well, they're mint, and they're beautiful. And you bought three. You can take your prices once we get through the more you can re-evaluate, all right? So what do you think for those three di-cast?

It's got to be at least 10. It's got to be at least 10, done it, don't it? I'm going to say 12. 12. How many, how many things are there? Two more items left. Oh, right, I'm almost out of money. Yeah, well, I'll save it for them.

Save it, we can always re-evaluate. This is our first pass at the prices. Yeah, right. Next item. Oh, my God. A shirt. Oh, my God. That's pretty fucking beautiful.

That's a little bit like Michael J. Fox's shirt in Back to the Future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is from H&M. It's got... Originally from H&M. This price thing... Nothing has nothing to do with it.

It's why I left it on. It's a large. Yeah. It's got a little... It's divided. Yeah. That is the Primark clothing brand. Is it?

Yes, divided. Right, right, right, right. One of theirs. They often have different sub brands within their thing. And yeah. It's a nice... White.

With, um... Is that the classic Pepsi logo? It is the classic Pepsi logo, I believe. It's the one they're with now. And yeah, it's a short-sleeved button-up shirt, everybody. Good quality, fine quality, it's all right. So it's the smell like. Smells, it smells lovely.

Yeah, smells a little bit musty. I don't know how old it is. I say, I just got it on eBay, but... It can't be that old. It's not that old. Because I know, like, Primot will go for a whole, let's just put loads of retro brands on our T-shirts and sell them. They constantly do.

That's part of their business model. They have rotating IP T-shirts in the shops. Yeah, well, it works with bands, doesn't it? Yeah, bands. And they were like, oh, it works with bands, so maybe people will like Pepsi as much as they like the Ramones. Yeah. Well, the epidemic of Ramones T-shirts in the early part of this century was crazy, wasn't it? Right, and would you think the shirt was?

That was good. Pepsi, subtle. Pepsi shirt. Four quid. Four quid, is Nick saying. Good. Eli. Yeah.

Maximum four quid. I'm going to say $3.50. All right, cool. Yeah, fuck, have we got time for the last item in this segment. I think that that would take me up to $222. Let me see. So far you have got our 18, yeah, 22. Eli stands at 18, 19, 20, 21, just under 22.

Well. But as I say, we can reevaluate. The last item would have to be a quid. You're not locked in yet. Now, this item, I didn't have time to repair. It was sold to me on the basis that it needed fixing, and it's a quick soldering job, and I can do it. Just didn't have the time.

But here is the item. I let Nick open it this time. Okay. This is the one thing. from America I got. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Wow.

It's a, what is it, a radio? Yeah, FM AM radio. Oh my God. In the shape of a Pepsi can. It's like a 1980s Pepsi can. Oh, my God. And the top is a speaker. The top's a speaker.

It's got a dial on the side. A dial on one side. I guess that's a volume and a setuna. Yeah. Yeah. God, that's fucking beautiful. That's a nice little item now. That's great.

That's never going to be a quid. So the only thing I need to fix on it is the battery compartment has broken away from the cabling. So it's a quick pull-out, seal it. And was it sold like that? Yeah, he said it's not broken, but he knows it works. You just got to solder it. And I was like, fine, I'll take that. And as a result, if it helps, I got it cheaper than other similar items on eBay.

Also, it's not like, it's not like we're missing anything because it would just be a radio, wouldn't it? Yeah. So, I mean, we all heard and operated radios in that time. We know. Just imagine that now. It would have been nice to see what the sound was like from that speaker. I imagine it's very tinny. Hey!

Come on. Come on. That was good. That was good. I mean, that was the best joke of the episode so far. Is it? Yeah, in terms of sort of classic panery. Right, I might cut that out, though. Right, go on.

So it's a lovely thing. Wait to it. It doesn't feel particularly cheap, even though, you know, it's just a basic innards of an FM radio. No, it doesn't, yeah, it doesn't feel cheap. It feels like a proper product. Proper product, indeed. And I like it.

That's kind of shit I love. But how much do you think I spent on this pep? Pepsi Cola FM radio thing. Three quid. Three quid. I would say maybe four, but then I'm going to knock off three quid off the plush figure, plush toy. Well, we can go through it again from the top. So, Eli, what are you going to say for now?

I'm just going to say Nick said three. I think five. Five. Right. I mean, what do I think it's worth? I mean, it's priceless, isn't it? If I was down the rabbit hole, I'd pay $20 for that. Would you?

Yeah, wow. Late night Pepsi rabbit hole, yeah? Yeah. If I was down the rabbit hole, there's not a price you can put on anything that I've seen today that would put me off. You love a bit of Pepsi. Love it. Oh, there's a, you've got a noodle neon there.

Yeah, a noodle neon. Yeah. I just keep spotting things in your flat. I thought it was a jellyfish for a while. Upside down to any fish. Yeah, jellyfish on skis, but it's chopsticks. Yeah.

Right, what did you say for yours, the tad, the tin? What did you say? Five, I said. You said five, and he says three. But I may, I just, now let's go back over them, please. It is time to go back over the prices and finalize the prices. Right. Have you noticed wherever you find fun today?

you'll find Pepsi Cola, light bracing, clean tasting Pepsi. Who think young say, Pepsi please. Now it's Pepsi for those who think young. When you say Pepsi please, your pudding sure with Pepsi. Pick the drink, young as you think. Now it's Pepsi for those who think young. Here we go. Time to re-evaluate. So, the plush was the first one. Eli, you said six quid. Nick, you've said eight. Eli, do you want to change your price?

No. No. You're sticking with six. What are you doing? I'm sticking with six there. I was going to knock three quid off, so I'll say five. But I think maybe six. Oh, what do you want to do? Because I need to lock it in. Can I say the same? Of course. Oh, six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say six. I'll say six. Right. The pack of die-cast Pepsi cars, Eli, you said 12. Nick said 10. I'm going to go to 7.50. 7.50. I'm going to keep it as 10.

Oh, very bold. Shirt from eBay. You said Eli 350. Nick said four pound. You're going to stick with that. I'm going to stick there. And then... I'm going to say two quid.

You're going to go down to two quid for that. And then finally the radio. You said five for that, Eli. Nick, you said three. You want to keep with that? What am I up to now? 16, 17, 18. No, I'll do the rest.

So what's that? That's four. Okay. Four, four, four, four. And what am I on? They're going, six and seven, fifty, three, fifty. So it's eleven, eleven, sixteen, fifty. Yeah, and five.

So you've gone over or... No, I'm 50p under. Well, yeah, okay. I'm gonna stick. Yeah? Yeah. Right, here the results. Petwings, ahoy.

You want to explain the petwings? Petwings are what we call points in this game, Paul. I think, just for this episode, they should be called Pepsi Twings. Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm not sold on it, but fuck it, yeah, why not. Pep Twings. Pep Twings. Pep Twings?

Pep twigs. How many pep twigs do I get? If you get the price exactly right, you'll get two pep twigs. Okay. Pep twings. Pep twings. Do you know what?

These pep twigs are grown on me. They're grown on me, actually. It's a weird kind of... Pep twigs, yeah. Pep twigs. But if you're 25 p. out... If you got some fucking chicken wings, and then you put Pepsi on them overnight...

They do that. You get cola ribs, do you? It's a legit thing. Put your cola on meat. It's nice. And to baste it. You baste it. And if she's not available

Shirley will have you off. Okay, you rub it in... It's like that Andrew Harriet meme and he goes, rub your meats and he goes he ha ha, yeah, boy, like that. It's demonic.

I'm going to be generous to say if you're 50p out, you'll get one between. It's usually 25p, but I'm going to say 50p. You're increasing the margin of error here for one pet 20. I didn't do any 50s.

So, with that being said, you both said six for the, the plushy. It was four pounds altogether for those two tins in the plushy. Four pounds. What did I say? Six. You both said six.

I almost went for fucking five. There. You wouldn't have scored if you said five. Yeah, but it means that everything else is whacked off, in it? We're not going to, but we're going to double zero. This is going to be Coke zero points. No, well, don't think about it better. It's more like max points.

You're getting max points. So they're not really there, but max points. Cars. As in Pepsi Max points. Yeah, as in Pepsi Max points. Yeah, as in Pepsi Max points. Okay, good, right. However.

Maybe you'd accidentally been a genius. Nick said 10. Eli says 750 for the tin cars, the die-cast cars, sorry. Five pound for that. What? What the fuck that T-shirt? You got fucking fleeced on the T-shirt. Well, let's just see.

Fuck this. That's to be fair. It's not a T-shirt. There, then. The shirt, Eli, said 3-fitty. Nick said two. It was five pound. Five pound for that.

No foot twings. We've got double double. But will the radio help salvage some self of dignity? No, it's a tenor, right? It was. So you said five, Eli. Nick said four. It was eight quid.

Eight quid for that. Oh, wow. Who wins? But in massive, in massive, massive. In other eBay examples of that, they were going for like 30, 40 quid. Oh, wow. So getting that in working order. Yeah.

So there you go. But I tell you what. Who got closest But you didn't go broke Who got closest in general? No, no, not that one. I hate to say it But if I have to give a winner

To either one of you two Who gives, who got closest? It's going to be him, yeah, to Eli. Yeah, so you are the winner of this Pepsi challenge, I suppose, then. I'm the Burger King of Pepsi. Oh. A bit underwhelming this, isn't it?

Well, I think we had some laughs early in the episode But they've since dried up. I think that these items are great. and... Do you want any of them? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'll have anything that you don't want. Yeah, I want that shirt, though.

I have to have that shirt. Pass the shirt back to you. But you can have the radio... I'll tell you what, if you want me to fix the radio, I'll give it to you if it's fixed. I would just like one of those. That's all I really want. Yeah. Nick, if you want that radio, I'll fix it and give it back to you.

Oh, I'd love the radio. Oh, yeah, let me take it home and fix it, and then next that'll bring it round or drop it off. Right, oh, that's the price of shite. It's time to wrap it up, but not before Eli pulls out one last tin. And we're going to go to that after this joy little sound effect. Well, I'm still here at my America's Choice taste test booth,

and there's a lot of you out there who haven't taken the test yet. Now, I know, I know you hate to take tests, your palms get sweaty and you can't shake hands for a week. But this isn't that kind of test. You can't fail. All you have to do is choose which cola taste better. Nothing could be simpler. And nobody fails, nobody loses. Well, almost nobody.

Let your taste decide and discover once and for all why, Pepsi is America's choice. Go on then. What's the last one? Right, it's all been Pepsi so far. All Pepsi. But for fair and balance, we're going to add a little bit of Coca-Cola in. Now, I was in the States recently, everybody. Oh, you were here, yeah? Did you do a, was it free drinks?

It was free drinks on the cruise. You got a monkey towel? I got monkey towel. Yeah. But the monkey towel. The monkey towel. I like that. Yeah. I like that. The monkey towel.

What about like chicken or something? Like a foul towel. A foul towel. A foul towel. Well, all towels are fell when Eli's finished them. I shit on him. Oh, come on. I just meant a little bit of wee.

Oh, it's all... Excuse me, but your towel monkey is now full of my cup. Whenever I arrive... Thank you. Not a lot of people know this about me, but whenever I arrive in a hotel or anywhere, I take all the towels, stick them in the bath and shit all over them.

Yeah. Is that just... Is that just something you do to feel at home? Is that how you just... It's how I avoid buying... cocaine. Anyway. All right. I'll let it that way. No, you don't have to. It's fine.

Go on. Go on. I was out there. Now, I'm going to say this. We've mentioned Dr. Pepper BlackBree. Yeah. That is one of my favorite recent soda innovations from these people. I agree. There was one other soda that really, I really tickled my innards recently. Yeah.

And that was Coca-Cola orange cream. Oh, yeah. It's orange cream. Have you tried that in my fridge? You haven't even tried it, have you? No. Fuck you. Oh, have I?

I think I might have. Really? I've got one tin in the fridge. I'm saving that for a then. I love it. Doesn't matter how much I branch out. I always come back to Pets Match Channel. Yeah, I mean, you know.

It's nice to have a place to call home. Yes. You can go out and play the field with the other drinks, but eventually you need to go home to the homely wife. A bit like Wizard of Oz. Now, I love that. There's the orange cream. For me, that was the best.

Are we waterboarding people? That's what I do in the bath after I've shat on the towels. Waterboard myself. Myself. You could stop talking if you'd like. I can't stop talking. I have to do this bit. Nick's giving me a weird look.

It's fine. Fine. Now, right. Coca-Cola Orange Cream, an absolute triumph. Top tier. In a sea of terrible, mediocre releases from the Coca-Cola Corporation, such as... Any of their fucking designer range. Do you remember that?

Abomination. Oh my God. What the fuck is that about this, mate. We're all about this. over it. I'm really caffeinated. I'm more like, I'm more all over the Pepsi

rather than the Coca-Cola. It wasn't a true spiced drink. No, there's nothing spiced about it. It was a raspberry-flavored coke, basically, is what are those little cocktail mixer ones? What are they from years ago? I know, but they were spiced. There was spiced one.

Those were, and I don't know if we'll ever see the likes of that again. They were the Coca-Cola signature range. Did you ever see that, Nick? They were like in these glass bottles. And there was like, it was like Coca-Cola signature herbie herbal

and that was the whole thing but they'd amp the herbal and then there was spiced there was a spice one and then there was one other one some kind of cinnamony one or something I don't remember it was nice okay

but these are all good ones are they they were very nice but they were able to be mixers than to be straight drinks they were designed to be drunk with bourbon in a sophisticated cocktails or whatever now but all those fucking designer ones and the small tins that have like

marshmallow. You know what I mean? Oh, we had this whole range of sugar-free ones from them. That was Coca-Cola limited or something? Special editions. Whatever it was, but there's Oreo biscuit. They all sucked. There's one more we're going to do for next week's guest as well. They brought out 007 Coke. What does it taste like?

Well, think about it. 107. Is it lemon and lime? Lemon and lime, 7-8? No. No, no. Coca-Cola, is it? 207? Is it 207? No cherry seven off.

Coca-Cola, 2008, 7. I feel like I'm going mad. No sugar, zero something, zero something. Oh, triple zero. Yeah, whatever it is. So that's why it's called. Seven calories. Triple zero famously, James Bond.

Triple O seven. I'm triple O seven. They call me John. Henry John. The name's cake. Cake box. Do you remember that? What?

There was an egg-free fucking cake firm, right, in London called Cake Box. And they had a print ad where they had this teenager dressed up as James Bond. And he said the name's box. Cake Fox. Wow. It's true. The eggless cakes, they are. Utterly eggless.

Well, there you go. So, Coca-Cola cream, orange cream was great. Great. But Pepsi, we all, we've discussed it. And Dr. Pepper Raspberry is your favorite? Blackberry. Blackberry. It is super great.

He's not letting it sink in how important that flavor is. I love that one. It's fucking lovely. But as we're saying he, as in me. Yeah. I don't want to look at you when I talk about you. Because that just, that draws attention. Now.

He's terrible passing focus as well. Anyway, so, shut up. What? This is becoming a Jack Duckworth fucking segment or whatever it is. I don't know what that's a reference to. Who's the guy from Carry On films? He did that stuff.

Jack Douglas. Jack Douglas. He was the way he went, shut up. Way, you like that? I don't remember this guy. You don't remember the guy from Carri-on. You're twitching. The Twitching.

Hey. Oh, that one. What era? Most of the classic ones. He was in camping. He was in fucking abroad. Was he in diving? Wasn't, I don't think he was in Caldward.

Was he in cruising? At your convenience? No. What do you fucking care about Jack Douglas' number of... Guys, I'm just saying that it depends. It's carried on movies you've seen. He's definitely in a brand. Who likes camping in abroad?

Who likes camping abroad? I don't like camping full stop. Jack Douglas, carry on films. Just a picture of him would help. He's that guy. With the glasses. And he goes, Oh, that one.

I could have. told you it was him. Oh, he's dead. Yeah. Oh, no. He's in Matron Girls. What about Lloyd Grossman? Is he still about?

Do yourself a favour, Paul, and don't Google the rest of the cast of the Carragone movies. They might do. They're mostly dead. It's crushing. They're in the ground, as they say. Sid James, too. Fuck it out.

Yeah, anyway, behind Dick, England Girls Abroad Matron. He's your favourite movie star. He is one of those ones. What if he was? What if he was? What if I like what he brought to the carry-on-Uvra? quite not. Hey.

Hey. Yes. I wish I lived in a time where all I need to do to have a successful movie great is have a tick. Carry on Britain. England.

Carry on England. That's the army one. With Patrick Mower. At your convenience. That's the really anti-union one. Yes, it is. Yeah. Weirdly my favourite one as well.

Anyway, can I do this Coke because I'm losing the will to fucking speak? That coke, actually. I feel all jittery. Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? We're all on edge. Podcasting. One of us is going to.

turn on the other. It is weirdly hard podcasting. You know that. This is, I'm out of it right now. Can I be honest? Can I be honest? I fucking hate it.

I fucking hate making podcasts. Fucking waste of... I've done this for nearly 11 years. I know how many weeks I've spent editing fucking podcasts? Weekly for 11 years. Oh, this is like couples therapy. It really is.

I shouldn't have brought it up, man. For what? I'm sorry. For what? For what? For what? What could I have gotten out of this? What did I get out of this?

Make it stop. Hey? Listen, we've all got mental health. Carpal fucking tunnel is what I got out of it. You could have got carpal any other way. Whatever you'd been doing, you would have got carpal. It's that thing where you sing with James Corden. Aye.

I was waiting for it. Oh, thank you. I'll carry on with your drink. Hey, whey! I like the carry-on films. I've just got... Neither of you, to be fair... Infamy.

Well, he's the one where they're... test out the barbed wire fence and then they make him put his helmet over his private and then they push him into the barbed wire fence and he goes, oh, oh, oh, oh. I mean, have we got time to do my denouement co-cola? Yeah, let's do it. Well, I've just got one fucking chomping at the bit here. But one thing to say, Pepsi Max Cherry has been the biggest hits in the world of sodas, I would say, for several years.

And this is Coke using their. most successful recent innovation and marrying it with the cherry, the cherry thing. And I bring to you, there is a full sugar version, but I could only get hold of this. Cherry float Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. And look, it's got a very nice can design. What I would say about that strawberries and cream one is that strawberry is a very disgusting drink to have as a fizzy drink. Yeah, it doesn't work for me. It's horrible flavour. This works a lot, I would say, a lot better. Get off your phone, please, Paul. What are you looking at there? A nude.

A nude. We almost got through a whole segment there. Here we go. I thought things are going smoothly. We're going to taste this. Paul's on his phone. We're going to taste this. I've tuned out. I've already gone now.

Mentally, I'm on the way home. To be clear, this is Coca-Cola now. But I think this is, I would say, better than all the Pepsi's we drank today. Well, all right. Well, let us make our decision on that. You tell us how to think. I think it would personally hurt me if this turned out to be better. Have you tried this before?

Yes. I honestly, pass this cherry float. I think it's definitely better than the strawberries and cream. Oh, it smells good. Do Coke just do flavours better than Pepsi in general? No. No. I think part of the argument that we've made for the last two hours is that Pepsi are better at it.

Yes, generally. All of the flavoured Pepsi drinks have been better than the diet Coke drinks. That's all right. It's no fucking orange cream. It's no Canadian Raspberry or whatever it was. I agree. But I still think it's pretty nice. Nah.

A nat from... That tastes like maybe a JDan coat with ice that's been left out on the side over a little bit. A little bit of a little bit of kind of milky cherry on it. I feel personally attacked. We are not here to tell you that you are wrong. Pilly Willie. It's Pilly Willie all over. again.

I think I would rather have one of the Pepsi's than that again. I like that. I like that better than the tropical, better than the strawberries and cream, better than the raspberry. I just prefer that to all of those. What I would say is...

But not Pepsi Max Cherry itself. Right. Probably. Out of the cream drinks, it's the best because it's got a hint of cream without it being like, oh, this is horrible synthetic cream flavour. It doesn't suffer from that weird milky,

milky being wrong thing. Milky, milky. It doesn't taste like you've poured coke into a... A milkshake, right? But it's still. There is a very sort of artificial sugar taste to it, I agree. And that's what lets it down. And that's why I'm fucking disappointed.

I couldn't find the actual normal. The normal one of that. Because you think it might be good. Oh, God. But the after taste is nice. Yeah. I think that's a good soda. So in conclusion, I'd probably give that a 3.75.

Just for the hell of it while you're here. Yes. Fine. Do you want to give it a point? Bang in the middle, 2.5. Cool. Paul? 2.

Do you know what? 2.5's harsh. It's three. Yeah. It's one of the better ones we've had today. That's right. But I'm still a pep head. Yes.

He remains a pep head. Paul, any final words? You want to talk about fucking those fucking films for half an hour? Can't talk about the films I like, can we? What films do you like? I like horror films and noir's. What's your favourite one? What's your favourite noir?

The whole idea of having a favourite film is just stupid. It's not stupid. What's your favourite film? I don't have a fucking favourite film. You don't like films then? Is that what you're saying? I like films. You don't have a preference.

I have a preference. What's the most preferenced film you've ever seen? That's not even fucking English. It is. What's the most preference film you've ever seen? The film with the most preference? What's what you want? I don't have a preference for a particular film.

If all films got deleted right now apart from one and you could save one film. Oh, God, that's a question, isn't it? What film would you save from utter deletion? Over to you, Nick. No, I'm not asking Nick. Jaws. Because I'll get a fucking answer from him. Well, all films have been deleted.

All are getting... gone. They're all getting turfed out. There's no room now for films. So only one can survive as a reminder of the art form. What film is it? Big Top Peeway. I panic. I panics. I'm going to say Tommy wants to be honest at this one. I would say, yeah, probably Jaws or Casablanca. Jaws or Casablanca. I mean, they're movies, aren't they? They're like movies. Yeah, they're movies. And it's like if an alien landed, you'd go, have you seen Casablanca? And they go, yeah, is that what a movie is? And you go, yeah, that's pretty much

a modern movie is. You would. Either of those. But if you, you know, if you save Wolf Cop, then it would be able to... I've got no context for this. What is it? Objectively, I might say Lawrence of Arabia. Subjectively. What's wrong with that?

Nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. Just saying. Just saying. Is this why we don't talk about movies usually on the podcast? Because you're always into... I only watch movies with intervals in them. Thank you very much.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. Lawrence of Arabia. I never thought if I mentioned the film, Laurent of Arabia, there'd be so much fucking displeasure about that option. I would say here's a great example of a film. Lauren de Rabe is a great example of a film. Or Dr. Chivargo.

Oh my God. Who are you trying to impress? No one. I'm just thinking so objectively. Now let's think about this. Subjectively. In terms of... Garbage for money, right?

Yeah. So, you only get one film left. Lord of Arabia is eight days long. Yeah. What is the longest ever feature film? Ever. Ever. Well, that's complicated because this guy in Poland

who makes 17-hour films. Let's have one of those is the one that's left there. Andy War. I would have one that... Yes, he did. Yes, he was just someone shagging or something. Yes, it was Warhol. It was just a warhol.

It wasn't someone shagging. He also did one called... He did one called... It's not that sort of blue. Who was that that that showed Psycho at one frame per minute? Andy Warhol's maybe a bit of blue. Psycho one frame per minute. Do you remember that?

Yeah, no. Anyway, what was your drink like? It was good. Right, that's cheap show done this week then? Wasn't it fun? Did you have fun? Have we had fun? Thanks for having us to it.

If we had fun? It was fun being here. I've had fun. Escape to Victory. I like that film. Who framed Roger Rabbit? I like that. I actually might suggest

who framed Roger Rabbit. Oh, well, when I got a take to see who framed Roger Rabbit for my birthday at the cinema, I got dragged, kicking and screaming. Why? Didn't you see it?

Because I wanted to see Moonwalker. Wow. Yeah. That would have been a different life. Quite liked Who Friend Roger Rabbit when I finally got into it. You finally got into it. You finally just let yourself

go along with the flow and accept it. On its own terms. Like we did with the Pepsi. today so they're comparing it to Pepsi cherries. I feel so like... Yeah, I'm honestly just like... I'm having a digestive actual health problem.

I kind of feel poorly. I don't feel good. Well, that's how we like to end episodes of Cheap Show, with everyone's feeling much worse than they did two hours ago. Admin, the Cheap Show.com. UK is our website. Go there everywhere else.

Where we exist online is your starting point there. And our Patreon, pager.com, forward slash, Cheap Show. Give what you can, only if you can. Thank you very much for those who do. If you can, only if you can, my beard, scritzy, scritzy. We've gone on too long and I'm full of fucking...

You, it was your fucking fault with the... Indulging Nick with the fucking carry-on stuff, if I may say so. It's fine. No, let's talk about your fucking animal towels on your cruise for longer, shall we? I thought that bit was all right. Well, I could relate to both of your stories. Frankly, no one's asking you. It's the hour up now.

Do we pay you on the way out? He relate to both of us, Paul. Let's leave it that. I've had animal-shaped tails, but I've also had a love of the carry-on movies. So we can all benefit. Everyone can live happily on this earth, but we only just learn to get along. And that's ultimately what this episode's really been about, hasn't it? Yes.

So, absolutely. Let's use this note of positivity to end on. Take care. Bye-bye. Oh, do you want to say anything? You? Are you on tour or something? Cheap show.

You're touring, are you? Are you touring? No, I toured last year. Oh, all right. You're going to tour this year? No, I do. Well, I'm going to be doing something at the end of this year, but not at the the moment.

You're going to do Edinburgh? Oh, I might. Really? Well, I might do something. Just go up for a quick Busman's holiday kind of thing. Well, no, I'd work.

No, that's what Busman's holiday is. You go up and do a little bit, but you're also kind of working at the same time, but it's a break. Is that what Busman's holiday is? Effectively. Isn't it? Yeah.

I thought the phrase's all about. We've been here before, I tell you. The phrase comes from, if you were a coach driver and you drove people from Britain to France or whatever, and you'd have a holiday, but you'd still be working. Busman's holiday.

I thought a Basman's holiday. was that, oh, I drive a bus and now I'm going on an holiday and I've got to get on a fucking bus. This is a busman's holiday. I've already been, I spend all my life on a bus, and now I'm on a fucking bus.

So it's a holiday that puts you inadvertently back into a situation where it's like work. Is that what you're saying? That's what I think. It's not like you're working while you're out. It's like, oh, we've got to the airport and the bus driver's not here

to drive me to the hotel. There's anyone here and know how to drive a bus. Is there a bus driver on the bus? Hand goes up. It's like, yeah, exactly. This is a real busman's holiday guys. Right.

That's 22 minutes of saying goodbye. Goodbye. This is going to be a five-part. It's going to be a seven-part episode. This is like three hours or something. In a long session. Fuck sake. Bye.

We're wrapping this up. Okay. Bye. Has anyone got any Pepsi? Oh, yeah. There's loads, mate. Hey, you know what we haven't done, Paul? What?

Big Pepsi cocktail. Do it. Do it. Do we. Pepsi cocktail. It's going to have a little bit of everything. Oh. It's in the big finale.

Right. We've got Coca-Cola zero sugar in there. Cherry float. Put in the strawberries and cream. Hang on a minute. We're doing it wrong. Oh, God. Tropical.

Tropical. Tropical. Tropical. Tropical's going in. Not that much. All right. What else have we got? Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, no. He's got his big jug out. He's got a big glass jug out. What a beautiful picture this would be if you could see it. Right. Pull all that in. Oh, he's doing that.

Oh, my God, it's grotesque. That's really a mix. What about this Celsius? Is that a step too far? Yes, something it is. We're just pouring everything into a picture. Oh, get those T ones out, and the funny bamboo one.

Oh, my God. This, ah. No, but there's not going to be room. What you mean? I think we fuck the balance. Yeah. Here we go. Pomello and bamboo.

And then we see we have room for the peach. God, this is. This is going to be good. We need a big wooden spoon. It's a gorgeous, marvellous medicine. I need to get some of this in there, mate. And it's all right up to the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You have like one of those ladle things. A ladle? You know, I thought, yeah, like a ladle. I've got a ladle. Just be careful because that's going to spill easily. No, we can just, we can do this. Right. There it is.

Oh, wow. He's actually going to go, like. Care for he don't get the end wet. Oh, perfect. He skimmed. the top in a very expert way. Oh, it's a bit of spilage there. There's been a little bit of drippage.

Little bit of spillage. Oh my leg. And, uh, please, I'll have a glass of that, please. Okay. Oh, that was a good, better pour. Well, there was more, um, there was more flow to it. Did you drink yours already, Paul? Only had a little tiny bit at the bottom, so I didn't really get the same thing.

Okay, so this is an amalgamation of all the Pepsi's with a, uh, Coke top. Oh, I, you know. Yeah. Oh my God. What's that smell? It's the smell of everything. It smells like inside of my washing machine. It does.

It's very chemically, really. When they add on top of each of it. I don't want to do this. Everywhere all it wants this, right? I'm going in. Oh my God. That's weirdly all right, that. That's the best drinking.

Is it? You know what it's got like? It's got a sherbet note. It's got this kind of weird kind of... That's good. So what we recommend in, we recommend in... Right, so it's half a bottle. Half a...

Half a... write this down if you're listening at home. Half a corner... Ken and Max Tropical. Half a can of strawberries and cream. Half a bottle of raspberry... Just raspberry. Just raspberry. No, sugar-free.

Raspberry. Not wild raspberry. Half a bottle of wild cherry. A splash of bamboo and... Peach and fucking tea and pomelo and bamboo. And then with a... Susant. Zero cherry float top. Chaser. I've got to say

I've never been harder. What a drink Man, I'm so sick of drinking this shit right now Paul's been down in it I might be very ill Yeah, don't There's no coming back from this This is the best

Really Do you mean that seriously This is the Jesus Christ of drinks This is the moment at the end of 2001 When he stares through the obelisk He stares through the obelisk He does It's not called an obelisk

It is an obelisk It's not Is it called Yeah, it's the obelisk Is it? It is an obelisk I don't think it's an obelisk I don't think it's an obelisk.

If it was small and here, it would be an asterisk. Men here. That's how you say those things that he used to carry about. What? Men here. No, there were men here. Isn't he going through a tesseract? Yeah.

It is the obelisk. What's it called? Obelisk. This is the 27 minutes segment saying goodbye. I think we're done. I think we're done. I'm tapping out. The music's in the background.

I can hear it. I can hear it. It's going. We're done. It ends with a space baby. What, this podcast? Perhaps this is like the bit at the end of 2000 when we're going through the eye of the obelisk as you put it. And you're a little baby in your crib.

I'm a baby, cosmic baby Eli. And I'm the old man in the bed going, eh. Who are you, Nick? He's on his phone. Oh, he's on his phone. I'm looking it up. What's... It's called an obelisk.

Oh, the black object? Yeah. Yeah, that's what we're doing that. Yeah, an obelix. Is that the obelisk? An obelisk. We stop saying the fucking word obelisk. It's not.

It's not. Can we just end this way to say. Oblis. Obelisk. Oblis. is not. What's the black box? I once...

Pop, Pooh. I was going to be half an hour because this is fucking too long. I once went to an obelix. I went to a... Monolith.

Monolith. The monolith. Thank you. Fucking high-fi. It could still be a lot of list, though. I'm sorry. It's still an obelisk. What's an obelisk?

It's not an obelisk. Oh, God. Oh, Christ. It's not an obelisk. Obelisk. An obelisk is like a needle, like a point. You know, like a stone. Pillar.

Yes. typically square or rectangular. Yeah. So I still count. It's a monolith. Monolith. Monolith. Monolith.

Monolith. Minolus. Monolith. I once went to a... Stop pointing at me. I went to rent... There was a prostitute, right, hanging around a monument.

Oh, another one of the is. And I went behind the obelisk, and I said, will you gobble this? Gobble this behind the obelisk. Gobble my obelisk. How about that? Ah, gobbled my obelisk. Gobble my monolith.

Fobblers. Right, that's that is it. That is it. Thank you, Nick. We're sorry. No, I loved every minute. Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Just press it. Can you do it like Clive? By entering the Pepsi Cola NBA hot shot competition. If you're 9 to 18 years old, girl or boy, you can win lots of great things, even a scholarship. And everyone who enters wins a hot shot certificate. You can get full details where you buy Pepsi. or look for this poster in your neighborhood.

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