CheapShow - Ep 482: Licence To Thrift

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

With Special Guest: John Rain It’s been a long time coming, but finally, John Rain from the wonderful Smersh Pod podcast is joining Paul and Eli for a 007 themed edition of CheapShow! Paul’s been hoarding a load of James Bond based bric-a-brac over the past few years in the hope that John would eventually end up on the show. As a result, the whole episode is going to be one huge Bond Price of Shite. There are books, toys, games and all sorts of random nonsense in between. John will have to defend his knowledge of Ian Fleming in a 007 Trivia Pursuit challenge and Eli is going to try and bring him down a peg or two! However, Eli has also brought along his own Bond girl and henchman, and Paul is going to have to put up with it! Oh! And there is 007 Coca Cola to try too! (Not shaken or stirred) See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-482-licence-to-thrift www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Eli, we've got a guest this week on the podcast. Yeah, I'm aware of that. I mean, are you... What? Are we playing it so, like, I don't know, or... Yeah, you pretend you haven't... Oh, where am I? Oh, where are? Oh, I've come out my mummy's fanny.

Oh, I'm having my first experience. You don't want to just go for the whole of your fucking life before we get into where we are. There's a lot of mess. Hold tight, everyone. 50 years of fucking misery. Continue. Yeah, don't interrupt. I'm enjoying this.

Yeah, go on. Oh, oh, there's my opair. Opaire. I like her. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, she'll protect me from the tiger from that book. When the tiger came from tea, that's affected me.

Tiger came from tea. The Kaiba, Tyber. The Kaiba. Carry on up the Kaiba. What's going on? Oh, I'm... I'm a teenager now. Fuck off.

You are the boss of me. What about the whole Steiner's school and have a special boy stuff? Have you put that in? I know, there wasn't a special boy. I went to a special school for genius children. It wasn't for... geniuses. Yeah, no fucking shit.

I learned to read when I was 8 and a half. Right. Really? What was the first thing you read? The significance? But I read myself, probably like... No one knew. Harry Harrison.

Death World. Was it called Death World? No. Death Planet. Come on. Get through your life so we can get to this bit where we can reintroduce this. I'm not going through my life.

So you didn't fancy like war and peace or anything like that or... No. I still ain't read that. No. Blah, blah, blah. We got a special guest on the show. Ooh. All right.

I'll do the introduction. then we'll go into the credit. Scooby-2, is it? It's not Scooby-Doo. Which is. Can we imagine how great the show was if you got Scooby-Doo on? Yeah, I know offence taken.

Yeah, we've had Scooby-Doo. Sorry, it's just me. Who's the guest, Paul? Well, oh, oh. It's John Lorraine. Sorry, you mangled that. I nearly said John Lane, the old bald man we used to improv with years ago.

And now I can't get John Lane's name out of me head. Oh, his fucking face. Or his fucking bald face. Right, let's do this again. Tell me about John Lane. What was his story? John Lane was a guy who, in his time, had been in a ton of improv and comedy in theatre. He worked with a...

Who was that famous improv guy? He was bald and he had a wart on his head. I do not know. Ken Campbell. Ken Campbell. He was part of Ken Campbell. He did like improv with the guy. He was part of Ken Campbell, like a go-bot.

Yes. More like a megazoid or whatever it was. It's one of those things. The transformer with, they make the big... Yeah, that all come together to make one big... Impro actor. One Ken Campbell. One big, massive comedy character improv style in Ken Campbellbot. He was part of his group, along with people like Eddie Isard.

So, like, this guy knew his stuff. Apart from me. But when we got to perform with him, whatever he learned was long gone. Long gone time ago. Because every sketch we did in an improv game with him at the Laughing Cavaliers in London's Angel Club bar, whatever, upstairs. Camden, it was the Camden Head. Every sketch would have a...

evolve him at some point grabbing you from behind and trying to bum you every time not trying not actually trying that would be I mean that's a head of an act that's that'd be a head of an act

but no pretending to bum doing a stage bumming stage bombing I like this fella yeah well I liked him as well I'm sorry

he wasn't very good at improv or comedy or a manager of a comedy club I'm sorry but he sounds oh his life didn't funny as fuck I gotta be honest his whole life didn't seem to be going

very well. Did you remember like? Is he still in us? I don't know. There was one time he was going, I was in, he was like trying to work some gags with us in the hallway before he was

at the show. And he said, oh, yeah, he goes, I was having a wank in the shower. And I went, yeah,

he goes, I was listening to music. And I went, deep purple. I was like, what? What do you mean deep purple? I've got it.

After all the years, I've got what he was getting. He's a baby cock. His vainy, he's very, it's quite a good show. I'm sorry, You're really certain this fellow to me.

Has he got a podcast? He should. Oh, man, the stories he can tell John Lane, apart from... Sorry, but Lane and Rain sounds good already. Oh, Lane and Ray in the podcast. I think in reality, he returned to Australia to be closer to his children. He was Australian, was he? Yeah.

No, he was married to someone and they went out there. Yeah. And I think his kids stayed out there. So he was like teaching boxing in a boys school or something? Hang on a minute. Make up your mind. A whole life. So he was a boxing.

So I ended improvising comments. Yes, right. He was a man of all trade. And you love babing. Yeah. Oh. Just you try and stop him. I mean, you try and stop him.

You know, even two-headed expert had more than one meaning. He's a boxer, so I wouldn't want to stop him. No, he could have had me. He definitely could. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show this week. John Ray for the Spurs podcast, Ed Al. Yay! It's Al.

It has a... It's Al? And everything. And Al. And everything. Not Est Al, like, call me Al. Oh, that was a... meant to be a perfect way into the credits.

I don't think et al means what you think it means. Why do you do this to me? Because it wouldn't be the same if you didn't, would it? Yes, but it'd be better. We might win more awards. You've already got one. You've already got one. I know. It's right behind you on the shelf.

How many have I got none? Yeah. That could be yours. Which shocks me because your podcast is far more respectable. You could have that very award. Oh, wow. I mean, not that one. I'm actually listeners.

I'm holding their award. I think it's really exciting. I'm going to take a picture right now. So if you do end up winning it. We can say we predicted it. He's dropped me a phone. He's dropped his fucking hell. Act like you've won it.

All right. Take a picture. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I go to credits now? Can Daddy Paul go to credits, young lad? Is it quite sniffly, Paul? No.

He's been doing a beak. No, no. We're getting into the credit. I can see you going for your bag for something. I'm going into the credits. I'm going to stop it. Credit, yeah? Fine.

No touch bag. Welcome to Cheap Show. Mr. Rain, we've been expecting you. Shall I get the torture implement's master? Yeah, I am the Bond villain, funny fingers. And I am knob job. This is the best we can do. I'm sorry, I've got to lift the veil for a minute.

Yeah. In the kitchen, Eli sprung knob job on this. And I think it's brilliant. I come from a little box, I literally spring out. Nob job! That's good. What do you want? Do you want, shall I go get the stuff to kill with?

What's your gimmick? I'll just... Head looks like a knob. I thought you're going to say it's just odd job these knobs out all the time. No, no. It's just, no, a totally different person. I am my own person

and I've got a very creased four, sort of creased head. So, from certain angles and distances, and with a little bit of glycol to make it shine, my head looks like a knob. You could have really two really pronounced shoulders, so they're in silhouette. Oh, yeah, they're like balls.

Yes, no. They do. They do. I naturally look like a big knob. Get those dynasty shoulder pads put in. I look like a button mushroom knob. That's what I've called knoll. I've got very thick, wiry hairs on my big hunch shoulders and my head's creased. Like Bob Hoskins.

Yeah. Just like Bob Hoskins in the film Mona Lisa. Yeah. Of all the example I can think of. Listen, shut up. John Rain from the Smersh Pod podcast is here with us after many years of begging. That's true. And he's here now.

Yeah. So you've got to put up with. with, at least for your first appearance, nothing but Bond shit to talk about. Because that's what your podcast fundamentally based on, isn't it? Was, yeah. It's the foundation of it. Foundation, yeah.

So what is it now? What are you doing now? Just films. Films in general. Yeah. They used to be Bond tangential, right? Yeah, you used to have links. Like sort of degrees of Kevin Bacon sort of thing.

But yeah, not anymore. Not anymore. Now it's any whatever you fancy, isn't it? But this is it now. I mean, I went to the pub and Friday night and I hadn't seen some people there for a long time. And all they wanted to talk about was Bond. And it was just, I'm sure you get it with Ghost Pass.

Yeah, yeah. We talk about something else. Boring it. And the thing is, at least with Bond, you've got like 20 odd great films. That's true. At least, at least 10 great solid movies, you know, that you can talk about with passion.

And then the rest are like, whatever, and then a few are really stinking ones. Whereas you've got Frozen Empire, Afterlife, and those shit, two other ones. I know. I've got one good film. And if I want to stretch it, an animation series to work with

when it comes to what I'm generally passionate about. Was there ever a proposed Ghostbusters Bond universe merge? I bet we can make you. it work. I bet there's someone with a link. Theoretically, you could at the time have crossed over a real ghost pussy with James Bond Jr. I think they were

about, one was ending with the other was beginning, I'm sure it was something like that. Was James Bond Jr. an animated thing? Yeah. No, I didn't know that. And he wasn't even James Bond's son. He was a nephew. Codename James Bond Jr., I think. A load of old bollets. Did you hear our recent episode with the Roger Moore

Crime Stoppers? Yeah. He turns up at the end to serve boosters kids. Oh, hello. I'm in this book. Yeah, literally. what a great adventure you had Rob's just kind man He is. Less is more

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-boom Because Roger Moore I got it Yeah Good if his surname was Les His full middle name I mean Who's? Good if Roger's middle name was Les

Could be lesbian Could be Or Roger Maybe his middle name was Les is Fat ass You could say Roger a big fat ass

More What? What? Why are? What? What a big... Oh now you're both Looking at me scornful

And you hear the one saying knob job Well, Knob Job has... And then Lesmore, Lesbians. Yes, that had context. Oh, you're both more witty than I. Oh, I'll do with you then. Go on, do you.

I'll do a you. Maybe Roger's middle name was... Dog sex. Dog sex. Yes, thank you. Roger Dog sex up the bum hole more. Yeah. More.

More. That's what he says. Yeah, it is. More dogs. Oh, I've got a scenario. Oh, here we go. Okay. I'll enjoy this.

Right. So, Roger Moore's at home. Yeah. And then, but his delinquent son has gone upstairs with his girlfriend. He has got a son. What's his son's name?

Because he's in a load of B movies. Not important for this joke. Is this a joke? He's having a cup of tea. Oh, Jeffrey. Oh, Jeffrey Moore. Oh, Jeffrey Moore. Jeff Moore?

Josh Moore. Should have called him Josh. Let him finish his... Josh Moore. I have a wank. What? I'm intrigued. Oh, sorry.

I want to hear a story. Right. Roger Moore, it's a Sunday afternoon. Oh, Jeff off. He's having an afternoon tea. Jeff off more. Josh is Jeff I'm going to Josh off Jeff

His son Yeah Jeff Not Jeff Oh Josh It is his name's Jeff Jeffers Jeffers Moore Duhda

His name's Anyway his son Creeps home with his girlfriend Yeah And she's like Oh Oh Oh

Oh they're having it They're doing it He's having it off With her Who is Roger Moore His son He's having sex with Roger Moore No

His dad and his girlfriend Right. She's watching. Is it hot? No, no one's watching. She doesn't call it, basher there being, flicking the little red fire engine. Do you want to hear the joke or not? Is this a joke?

Yeah, I really want to hear it. I thought it was erotic. All right, I'll start from the beginning. Go on. Roger Moore. Oh, it's just got... I'm coming out of a woman's fanny. Oh, I'm going out.

He's just had a newspaper delivered. And he's reading it over a nice cup of tea Sunday afternoon. His son sneaks in, goes upstairs. He hears a banging because he's banging his girlfriend upstairs. And she's very vocal. Oh. And she goes, oh, more. And he goes, what's that?

And someone goes, what is this is all? Roger. And she's like, Roger. And he's like, more. And he's like, yes. She's like, Roger Moore. And what she's referring to is morning his son.

This is the obvious joke, though, that you would meet with Roger Moore. It's not even a clever build on it. Yeah, I thought the setup was really good. A setup was brilliant. How about this joke? Let me just, now while we're doing this, can I just, can I essay this? I say, I say, I say.

Yeah. I've a startup. It's like TripAdvisor, but for venues on Ibiza. Right. A lot of rave reviews. It's not bad. It's not bad. A lot of rave reviews.

Tell you what, I tell you what, I don't go to Glastonbury. I've heard it's quite intense. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't have any jokes. let us show I'm panicking You're okay poor And he's just sent to myself I was just still taking it back

by Roger Moore And I was trying to think of another Bond you could do a similar joke with And I was saying maybe this middle name is Darsole And you could say Pierce Darso Or Boston

Maybe Brozden is Gaelic for cop Yeah Yeah Pierce Darsoff Well it must be a certain That like You know because like

If it's in the helmet It's a Prince Albert I wonder what the it's a reverse Albert or something I'm tuned out I don't know I mean you wouldn't want a pierced arse What would be a reversed Albert though

A pierced arso Would that be the cheeks pierced together? Yeah Yeah Like a padlock Like a garden fence It's like There's a catch on it

I need to take a minute I think What is in that coffee Not enough coffee Actually When I got you were like You were like Oh I don't know

I need to pick me up He's had a couple of tips of coffee I'll be honest He's crying. The piss more Roger Moore's sex story really did so a number on me and I'm really quite happy with it.

Wow. Right. So, as we established, John Rain is the star and host of the well-respected and much-loved Smirsch podcast. And we've got him on the show today, but as is our wants,

because it is your first appearance and hopefully not your last, we're going to just throw a load of bond shit at you until you get tired of it and then you never have to talk about it again on the show. Good. So I have got today a whole episode dedicated to bond stuff I found in charity shops

over the last few years. And we'll do a massive price of shite, you versus Eli, across the whole episode. And each item may hopefully give us a little bit of something to talk about and a few laughs along the way. So let's just hope we get on well.

This sounds wonderful. Yeah, so do you have any questions before we go forward? No, no, no, just, you know, long time listener. So it's good to be here. So you know what to look forward to. I know what to look forward to. Yeah. And that's what us all hold hands.

No. No touching you. Can't touch people. Right. Shall we crack on? Sure. Let's crack on. You're in control, mate.

Can I ask a question? Yeah. Why is it necessary to not do the 3-2-1 because you're going to edit this, aren't you? Yeah, but also it gives me a little bit of time should I need to do a noise reduction. That gives me a little bit of signs at the beginning to do so with. All right.

I'm the fucking professional. You're the professional. Get out. Get out. That was a curious. I'll go full Barrymore and carry you on my shoulder and take you out. What, drown me? Yeah.

Well, I was just going to empty your bag out on the floor. I've got the chair leg. I've got the chair leg. No, we're not going to, you know what? Let's absolutely not. You know what? It's more that I don't want you to do a knob job voice with the threat. I was about to say it's fan favourite.

Nob job. He's back. Hello. Oh, my friend favourite, do we mean you right now? Yes. I'm a fan. What's your name? The villain?

The villain? Yeah. I'm Dr. Blow, Job. Doctor. You can't be blowjob and knob job. Yeah. Well, it's same family. It wasn't Mr. Winner, Mr. Skin.

Well, all right. Scabby mango or something like that. Scabby. Yeah. Scabby. Clunge fingers. Clunge fingers. My hands are nothing but gaping vaginas.

Oh, no. That ruins everything. That really is. That really weird. Just like seeping pussies on my hand. Dripping. like Dr Spunk. Oh, hello, hang on.

That little clear plastic sewer they wears at the end It could be like full of Spunk And maybe, like you know he's got one metal and Like Doctor... Yes, he's got two metalands. Has he? Yeah, yeah. I thought he only had one metal hand.

Yeah, he's got two. Well, I've got one metal and it's constantly in the shape of like holding something like a banana. Like a beer mitt. Yeah, like a beer mitt. Yeah. But it's, you know... What's a beer mitt?

It's a German word. About five pound an hour. Yeah. No, it's that thing that when you've got a really cold cans of supposedly. You put it in like a mirror and it doesn't get your hand cold. No.

Oh, I thought it was to insulate the can. Maybe it is. I mean, I only know if men behaving badly. That's my... Oh, that's right. That's my knowledge goes that far. Right. We're going to do the intro, ready?

And we're going to do the price of shite music and we're going to do a bond of theme one. Because it's the price of shite game. Do do it. You do the bits where you do... It's the price of shrike. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No. No. Oh, it's the price of fucking shite. Oh, it's the price and fucking shite. Price of fucking shite. Price of fucking shite. Price of fucking shite. That's right.

Something like that, isn't it? It's very familiar to the theme we all know in love. I had a pig and it was called Billy Wig. and I would take it to market and I'd tell it to park it in the corner next to trucks. The pig? Yeah.

What is it called Willie Pink? Willie Whig? William Whig, the pig. I need to stop you now. Please do. Now, we were having a conversation, weren't we? Yeah. V-a-Vee the Bond music.

I was not aware, they're the three separate themes. Yeah. You've got... Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Tun-Tun-Land. That's the Monty Norman one. Yeah. That's the normal one.

Because it was originally a love ballad or something. Now, what is the double. 2007 thing. Do you. That one. That one. He's fun. I always got confused with Thunderbirds.

I thought that came from Thunderbirds. No, you think of Thunderball. No, definitely Thunderbirds, because I thought number two came out the hole in the pool. Thunderball's the first one that was a... Well, number two comes out of a hole in the pool. Yeah.

We're playing the price of shite. It is a game we do on the podcast quite regularly where we go to charity shop. I buy things and then we have to guess the prices of those things those things are Petwings and how are Petwings won Mr. Silverman?

You can win Petwings in two main ways there may be some subways and that's where you get sandwiches but... Sorry, sorry, sorry, don't Don't. Sorry. Just you carry out.

Sorry. Oh dear. Oh, I can't keep thinking about subways now. Do you want a minute? It seems like you might want a minute. You get Betwings in Two main ways, Paul, in this game. Two main ways.

You guess the price. Right. If the price is. Is. Exactly right. Bang on. You say a £2, then it is a £2. And it is a £2.

And that is when a you are Gitter. You are Gitter. Two per twigs. Pterter. Oh, it's the thing we all dream of. A puttwinger, bettwinger, you a getter, right? But what if, Eli,

just going to propose something to you? What if I'm close? I'm not bang on, but I'm close. How close are we talking about, Paul? I don't know, 25P, either way of the actual. price. Like could, in a sort of 50p-shaped window stride the actual price?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking exactly that. Like a, and it's see-through. Like, if I said £1.75, but it was two quid. You know, would that... Well, that was in this semi-opake window of possibility. Yeah. It's like a big blob. A blob on the number line.

Like a membrane. Yes. Like a membranous 50-P wide blob. And I'm going to pop it. The 50-P rubber hymen says... Boop. Boob, boo! Oh dear.

If you get it 25P either way, you get one per twing. That's a one a put-twing. I will also tell you there is a bonus per twing on offer today. It is the quid's gambit. One item was a pound, exactly a pound,

and if you get that, not only do you get two for being spot on, but it doubles your points for four for knowing which item was the quid's gambit. So to be clear,

you said a bonus between, it's actually two bonus between. That's a bettwinger, but it's like calling the black ball. You've got to say it and lock it in and you can't give a pound to anything else that run. Blackboard. Yeah, like in pool where your blackboard are,

I'm going to put the blackboard in that pocket. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Right, so I have got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven items today to get through. It's Bond crazy. And you could take this home with you today if you want them because I don't.

Right. Shall I start with the first item? Please. It's a simple one to get us going, but a nice introductory item. You can have the look of that. It's just, it's dead simple, so I just got this. I'm holding a novel of Moonraker

with an introduction from Michael Dibden. I don't know who that is. He was a Panama Horse. Oh, the front or back? It was an introduction, so I suggest the front. Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah. You don't give the introduction to the back end of it.

What's that's called? The back end of a book. It's from, so it's Penguin Books, and it was published from trying to see. Oh, 2000. Oh. Now, have you read the books, or do you just like the films? I've read a couple of them, but I like the films.

Which one have you read? Living Let Die. Yes. And the Magist's Secret Service, because it was like an adaptation. Oh, the adaptation of the film? No, I mean, it's the one of the, it's like nearly spot on in terms of the way it was adapted. Oh, okay. The rest of them are sort of cherry-picked.

They never adapt them directly, yeah. So which ones are spot on one? The Majesty's Secret Service. Ah, and that's the anomaly in terms of the actor as well, because that's the one with... one, Leasonbean. Now, I've got some things to say. About the cover of this book. The way that they've put 007 next to Ian Fleming

makes it look like it says Ousian Fleming. Well, maybe it is, doesn't it? That's fucked. That's fucked. He's the author of Bond. Ousian Fleming. Ousing Flem. Yeah.

Now, also, the way that you have the rocket going up in front of, what's the bad Ian Moonraker called? DRAX. That's DRAX, I suppose, isn't it? In the book and the film, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why does it have? actually does copy from the book.

This book cover has the rocket going up, so Drax looks like he's some kind of super villain with a... Well, he is. And it looks like it's coming out of her ass. And it looks like it's coming out of her ass. Like she's got some kind of... Bad wind. Yeah, like really bad wind.

Suppository. Yeah. Like she's done a huge sexually gratifying suppository. Her name is horror suppository. Now... It's quite a good name, though. I'll write that down. Yeah, make a note.

Horror suppository. As the guests, do you want to guess the price first, or I'm happy to go if you prefer. Well, you go first, just so I can get a feel for the water. Now, we do know one of these items is one pound. Do we have some kind of rough ceiling for all of the... Oh, yeah, I spent across these seven items, not a single penny more than 23 pounds.

I spent 23 quid. Yeah. But over the course of years, seriously, I've been seeing these as cherry picking as we go. And a few items are kind of like, oh yeah, I can see why they're a bit more than usual. Now, this Moorike is nothing like the fucking film. It's 22 pound 50, but...

Oh, that's a big gambit. I mean, that's what I was thinking, because that's the standard price in Oxfam, isn't it? What, for a book? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 22. Oh, no, not 22. 250.

You never fucking listens. 250. Could be a dead man's book. I'm going to go first and I'm going to say, I'm going to say two pounds. Two pounds? Two pounds. Okay, I'm going to say. Yeah.

Because it's Oxfam. I can't remember what charity shop, but yeah, maybe. Okay. What would you say? You know what? I'm going to do the Queen's Gambit. Quids Gambit. I think that might be the quiz.

I'm going to put Q. Yeah. G. Q. Now, whilst we're on the books, I've got a gift for our guest. Oh. This is Ian Fleming. Yeah.

Thrilling cities. These are essays he wrote. Oh, and you were, yeah. Have you seen this before? I haven't. So there, I thought you might like it. That's very kind. No, I'm just going to read some of the, the, um, the, um, the, uh, quotes on the back

because they are quite, quite good. Because it's like a series of essays about things he's been to and eaten and restaurants. These are basically, uh, little travel reportage essays. Yeah. and by Ian Fleming, the author of Bond. Here we go. Here's one from the Denver Post. It's almost as much fun as 007

battling Smersh for the safety of Fort Knox. That must be around the time of... Goldfinger. Goldfinger. Because Smirsch and Farnock's both featuring that. Well, Smurst isn't behind that, is it? No, it's Goldfinger, but he's kind of tangentially related. He's mentioning Schmerch.

He just sneezes. Other travel tomes, may list beaches and shopping centres. but Fleming concentrates on more interesting matters. Bordy houses. Oh. Girls. Oh. Gambling.

Girls. I was up to my knuckles in French horse. Basically. I was writing the man with a golden gun. This is the list. Bordy houses. Girls in capitals. Gambling.

Girls. Whiskey. Girls. Dirty entertainment. Girls. With and without girls. Hey? So what?

You might just be in an alleyway. By himself. Looking at girls. Yeah. a window. He provides a sort of playboy guide to the cities where James Bond would go for recreation. He ping Tom Ian Fleming.

I was hanging out of a tree looking at some woman taking his down. In the shop's still easy. And then we have from the Rarnoak Times, a more entertaining or better informed companion could not be procured. The urbane Fleming seems endowed with

magic as though he had been touched by a flying carpet. Zestful, witty. intriguing. That's amazing. So it must be an American book then because all these quotes for American... Then you have...

What? You're just reading quotes. This is fun. It's interesting. Yes. Is it? Here is a sizable package of raw materials for do it yourself...

Raw dog in materials. Yeah. Do it yourself escapism. Its unmistakably unlawful flavor makes thrilling cities a fiercely intriguing book. Racy. Hairy-chested,

intoxicating. Wow. Give it. One last one. You'll give it here. One last one. Heady, powerful stuff, bottled by Bond. I enjoyed Fleming Bond's book, immensely hairy.

Wow. Spanking up. Raw Dog in. I just want to pick a random page to see what we get. I like the way it's red. The book outside is red as well, which is very exciting. The pages have red edges. It's just opulence.

It does. Oh, I'll tell you what, he goes by cities in this. Yeah, that's right. So he goes to Hong Kong, Macau, Tokyo, Honolulu. everybody talk about pop music Los Angeles Las Vegas New York Chicago By M. By M?

By M! By M! Yeah, it's all linked. Hong Kong. There you go, that's for you. Thank you so much. I'll get you both to sign that before I leave. It's a sort of a memento of my visit here. Yeah.

Yeah. Ten years prison for kidnapping. A bill providing deterrent punishment for kidnapping minors. Oh, you know, I won't read that bit out. Don't read that. Anyway, we got the book and you both set a price. We're going to move on to the next.

I played your quid scambit. I probably regret that, but never mind. So let's find out what the next item is. This one is a charity shop find. And I give this one to John again. Say what you see. Ah, this is the original, the official 007 fact file.

I have this. Do you? And I've had this since I was a child. It's like a annual. It's sort of like an annual. Yeah. It goes up to license to kill, I think. Yep, yeah, yeah.

So it came out in 89. I like the fact that they kind of downplay license to kill in that for all the obvious reasons. Yeah, because the kids can't go and watch it. Because can't go see it. It's like rated 15 in the UK. But it's got lots of little facts. and figures and it goes about gadgets and adventures.

Yeah. Wasn't the Daniel Craig films? Weren't they 18s? No. 12A is the highest to think. 12A. But yeah, I think 12's the highest because one of them, Skyfall's got the F word in it.

Does it? Yeah. I don't remember the F word in that. M says it. Fuck off, Bond, out my office, you con. This goes up to which one? License to kill. A-9.

Which was the first of the... Second of the Dalton. Second of the Dalton. Before the break. Yeah. For the wilderness year's hiatus. This is very much, it says fact file, but it's a very good condition as well. It's a very good condition.

Considering it's 37 years old. The format is very much the hardback annual format. A4 size with a... I don't know who Richard Hollis is, though. Who wrote this. On the back, you've got pictures of... Why do you only read the back of books today? There's like tons of stuff in the middle of it

that you could pick out randomly and entertain us with. Jesus Christ. I mean, I've read it. That was fun, those things are. audience. On the back of that book, that was fun. It's not the book itself.

It's like saying, oh, I've bought a sausage roll and then read the packaging and not eat the sausage roll. Didn't run DMC make a song about having Christmas for Richard Hollis.

How did that go? It's the beginning of diod. They use it there. It's called Christmas in Hollis. When he's in the car with a novel or whatever. They shing themselves down like in Fantastic

Juve voyage. Like, run DMC, go in Hollis's body and have Christmas there. That's what they should do. Whether they go, oh, a die-hold on a boat or die-hard in or whatever.

It's like, die-hold in a body. Oh, my God. Didn't they do that with those Moses Jones? Oh, I've never seen it. It's like the animation thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

Go inside Bill Murray, which, you know, we've all wanted to do. Well, can I ask you a question? This is a very cheap show question, actually. If you were having to do in a space or fantastic voyage and be sent inside a body,

yes. Which orifice would you want to go in? I mean, where they inject you? Is there a particular one you wouldn't go in? I'd like to live the life of a sausage, so I want to go in the mouth and then make my way through

and then come out as God intended at the bumole. Now, listen, guys. I want to live that life for a sausage. That isn't going inside the body. It is. The sausage goes in my body. No. Whiddley, widdly will.

The alimentary tract is considered the outside of your body by doctors. Is that right? Yes. You think about it. Eventually it goes in your tummy. Yes, which is all the air goes in.

Which is the outside of your body as well. You're looking at it like a climb bottle then, basically, aren't you? It's not even that complicated. It's just a big tube for your body, isn't it? He goes in the buttock and then comes out as a sneeze. Yeah, at the end. Yeah.

I want to go to you. I want to live the life. I'm still inside my body, though. No. No, I am still inside my body. No, you're not. But you're, I mean, you're inside your body. I am inside a body.

I am inside a body. No, what? I'm trying to explain to you, Paul. So if I do bum sex, that I can just say, oh, I'm not inside you. It's part of your mouth. You know what I mean? It's like what I mean? I mean, that's turning it on, down, me.

Right. I don't we all have to leave for a minute, me. Yeah. You get the point I'm making It's not, it's considered the The outside of your body I may agree with you on the principle of that But I still think if I enter you

I'm inside you by default of me Me Not Outside of you However, you can have Pee Pee-P-Hole That goes in Does it? Yeah, or ears or nose No, not nose

That's connected to that I think he'll Spacey does all apart from Pee-P-P-Hole Yeah, that's a shame They missed a trick though, isn't there? It's a kid's film though, isn't there a bit Where he's gonna, he's having sex he wanks him out

by accident it's a bit all over Meg Ryan's face cut to credit all over past out Rowe Paccardo doesn't he get transferred to Meg Ryan

fire the mouth Yeah for a kiss Yeah That's what I remember It's not a blowy It's not It could be great if it was a blowy Ooh

They'd be like Lift off You know what I mean When he spunks anyway No we can't I'm gonna You could have had a good joke About working

How long he would Ted to get out based on his penis side. Yeah. Could be here for weeks if it was me. Is that good? Villains Gallery, part three. Yeah.

I like France. I love the name Francisco Scaramanga. It was great. He was your favourite villain. Who's your favourite Bond villain? He's surrounded by a mediocre Bond movie. He's not a great film, but he's one of the best villains. Chris for Lee.

Yeah, because it's Christopher Lee. And he took it seriously, considering he must have looked around and went, this is a should show. Apart from Drax, he has some of the best dialogue as well. Yeah. Dax has the best dialogue in Moonraker. It's all my favourite lines at all. Whatever.

See some harm comes to Mr. Bond. That whole line, the way he delivers it. It's just, this is what I can't feel like if you took Drax out and put him in the spy who loved me, it would make that, you know, gold. Yeah, that's the one thing about the spy I love me that's see down as a villain's quite dull. Yeah, really dull. He's got fucking flippers. That's it. Yeah.

He gets shot in the dick. It was to be fair. It was funny. It was pretty funny. It is. We've also got Nickknack. I wouldn't say he was a villain more of a henchman. Do you know the other?

there was going to be an Irish one called Paddywack. I was going to say this, yeah. But he got killed, giving a dog a bone. I like John being on the show. Right, come on. You've got jaws. Yeah. I'll have a pipe.

Did they ever get into like legal copyright with that? No. Oh, because I tell you an interesting fact. Yeah. This is probably quite boring. No, it's not doing it. The Spielberg and Broccoli were like mates because Broccoli always wanted to do a bond.

Yeah. And when they came to do Moonwaker, Broccoli went Can we use the close-en-canness theme for a joke? And Spielberg says yes, so when he ended the room it goes Buh, be, be, be-bub. Yes.

So when they came to do the Goonies, he returned the call and went, can we use the Bond theme for data, free of charge. Oh, yeah. Of course you can. Oh, that's nice. That's pretty cool. But Jaws, did Jaws appear in a Bond film

before Jaws was released? No. It's after, 77. It's after. So it is sort of riffing on. Yeah. Yeah. And he's got metal teeth,

and he's lifting a big piece of stone there. Yeah. Orpussy, which I like octopussy. I love octopussy. That's the one that should have been his final one. It's got too many things going on in it though. It is spinning too many plates. It's complicated because I always have this thing where I kind of wish

octopusy had been his last one. But there are parts of A View to a Kill that I do love because it's so inappropriate. I love them all. I can see from this that Octopus is the one that the corkscrew jump. The one that has the corkscrew can't jump. Which is ruined by the slide whistle.

sound effect. No, that's the man with the golden gum. Oh, it is. Yes, sorry, you're right. Oh, yes, it's the man with the golden gun. You're right. It's ruined by the sound effect, people mention, but it's also got J.W. Pepper going, Oh, wow, no. That character, isn't it? Well, this is quite a nice thing. It's beautiful.

Yeah. Mine's full of graffiti because me and my friend as teenagers drew in it. Of course you did. It's full of pictures of knobs. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's never seen about it. When I... When I die, two things I'm going to say to my kids. One, make sure my brows is empty.

to burn that fucking book Burned my wand collection I don't want anyone ever seeing what we did in that Yeah A lot of knobs on bonds Right so how much for the Fact File book John you can go first this time

You've only played your quidgambit Yeah I'm going to say that one is two pounds Okay I'm going to put two down Eli what do you think so 350 He's in beautiful condition It's in good condition Yeah nice bit of condition

Now for the next item on my list Item number three. It's another book. In three. I'll give this one to you. You're the cast. Oh, bloody hell. Here's another one.

Well, that's beautiful. That's a DK book. Big boy. The secret world of the 2007 is big. It's hardback. Oh, I. It's even signed to... M. Wilhelm.

June 2017. I heard his scream. I was just about to mention that. I'm a clever boy. Can I just say that signing a book over to somebody in the 21st century is weird. Yeah. is. Yeah, I mean, it's similar to the fact file

we had before. But this one doesn't go to Craig at all. I think it ends with Die Another Day, I think. Well, it does suggest so, because Pierce is on the back. Yay, Pierce Bommel. Yeah, Pierce Bommel. Yeah, Pierce Bumel is on the bank. Now, this is a D.K., so Dalling Kindesley, yeah. And they do, I think they do the popular

cross-section series. They do, and I think they're owned by Penguin. Ah. But it's basically a book, full of scenes from the films that are kind of drawn and then cut away, so, like, you can see, it kind of breaks down the opening to Golden Eye in the... Is it a power plant? I forget what it is.

Yeah. It is a power plant. Oh, this is cool. Yeah, they've got great illustrations. All the sets and things. Yeah. It's beautiful. Is that Scaramanga's Hideaway? It's funhouse. That's cool. I like the fact that it builds the world. That's cool, yeah. This is a lot of fun. Yeah. And it's got all the props and the characters and it breaks down Bonn girls and, you know, and all that, what I really like are the drawings of the set

pieces for the Bonne film. They're lovely, like Gauss. Gash. Gash. Gash. Gash paintings. What's that stuff called? I don't know. It's like halfway between acrylic and watercolour. Goosh. I'll take your word for it. Yeah.

I know what you mean. Illustrated wonderfully. I think they've been done with crayons. That's what I think. Who's your favourite Bond girl, Eli? Oh, I don't know. Next. John, who's your favourite Bond girl?

I think it might be Pam from Licist to Kill. Pam Bouvier. From? Licised to Kill. She's got a nice joke about that because her name's Pam Bouvier, but when she's in disguise. is he calls her Pam Kennedy,

which is a joke about Jackie Kennedy's maiden name being Bovian. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. It's too intellectual for me that. But I used to think it wasn't that name, Pam Bouvier, because I thought, is that not the character from League of Gentleman, the Anyone Want a Bottle of Orange Juice character?

That's Pam Dove. Oh, it's close. I was close, similar. But what a lovely book. Oh, it's gorgeous. When I saw this, I was like, this is fucking A, you can kill a dog with it. But also, I like the fact that it's almost like a, museum kind of piece as well where you can see

the, like, you know, T.E. Steel Claw. It's like going to Bond exhibition in a book. Yeah, it's cool. Very nice thing. I just want to go back to one thing you just said just now. Was that man ever going fishing in that? I'm sorry. I want to go back to one thing he just said right now. Yeah. You said there's two things like about this.

A, you could kill a dog with it. Yes. Why is that good? Have you ever been in an alleyway with a thousand angry dogs? And it's just you versus them. And I've got medicine. To UNICEF. You keep changing the goalpost.

Now you're in an alley with a thousand dogs. How many dogs do you think you could get through with that? 1 or 2. Yeah, then you're fucked. Then you're getting eaten. You just kill the alpha and then they all stop. No, that's been debunked. It's not.

It worked for me. Paul, how do you finish off a dog? Well, usually you get underneath it, and then you put your tip in its mouth. You just kind of go, oh, oh. You put its tip in its mouth. In my mouth. You have so...

You are, you, your object permanence. You're waiting for his little Willie to get all red and hot. You don't know who you are, where you are. where you end where the dog begins. Oh, I know where the dog ends, mate. I tell you fucking that. And I know all the tricks to make a dog come. Right?

I know them all. I wish I'd let it's the puppet sex more. As we led that simmer for a moment. How do you feel you're going to do in the awards this year? I don't know. I don't know. We're up for three. Oh, yes, you are, on you?

We've got earworm, because I basically suggested the whole of the album to go. Great, yeah. That's our example. and then there was a behind the scenes award and I've nominated event for that because literally a event who does the magazine Yeah I mean she's done so much for the podcast For fans and for us so easy

And then there's one called Beyond the Feed Or Beyond the Stream Where it's like all the stuff you do that isn't the podcast So we were like all the YouTube series And the Yor InVision and the dog sex Oh I remember something on the train away I've been named 17 times in the Snoopy files This is actually my second appearance on this podcast

I remembered on the way here Oh yeah because you did You're a winky. Yeah, you did the Winky Comeback episode. What's the Winky comeback episode? It was French, when we did that French documentary about Winky. I had to double a line of dialogue. Oh, cool.

Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Oh, it's nice. I like that. Right, how much for the big book? Two pounds. Two pounds. Two pounds.

Morning Kindersly, which is what D.K stands for if he didn't know. Two pounds. Not donkey con. Two pounds. Eli says two. Right, let me write this down. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, right. Mr.

Uh. Oh, I did that the number one. Oh, fucking hell. It's all right. If I win, why don't you just let me do this? No, all I've done is just put the two the wrong place. That's fine. It's that the first time, though.

I'm saying three-fiddy. Three-fitty. Because it's half-back and big. I tell you what? We've got time to squeeze in one little item because it's right there. Oh, a sort of 007 pin. It's a 007 pin.

Are we calling them pins? Is that what I called? Because they're pin badges and they go on my pin board and it's a James Bond, 007, enamel pin. It's a silhouette of a man old in the, Walth of PPP and next to 2007 logo. Nice.

There's a nice little pin that. Lovely little pin that. But how much is the lovely little pin? Fiddy P. Fiddy P. I'm going to play my Quiddy P. I'm going to play Quidgambit there. Oh, he's going to play Quids Gambit on that.

That's a good point. I'm going to play my Quids Gambit there. Gambit. And then you said 50p? Yep. Right. That was quick and easy. Now we can move on to the bigger items.

The number three now. Dr. Evil, where are you there, miss? What was, what to the? I call myself. Clunge hands. Clung fingers. Hello. Clunge fingers.

Dr. Clung fingers. Now, fingers is too obvious. Clunge toes. It's shit. Fanny toes. They're all shit. Dick Toes.

These are shit names. I'm Dr. Dick Toes. That's slightly better actually. Oh, thank you. It's Dr. Dick Toes? Yes. No, dog. Yes.

Why's your voice changed all of a sudden? Because I'm Dr. Dick Toes. Oh my God. You're doing the same voice as everyone else. It's the only voice I can do. It fucking is, isn't it? All right, I'll do another one. No, don't bother.

I'm Dr. Dick Toes. What is happening? I want a million pounds or I'll drop a ball. Anyway, the lady, I've brought the ladies to see, to see Rain, John Rain. Who? The lady outside.

Oh, a Bond girl. Yes, she's coming. I bring her in. I'm Dr. Dick Toes. The Dick Toes. Oh. It's very high class in here. It's a very beautiful lady.

Oh, it's a beautiful lady. She's just come in. Introduce myself. She's got a bikini on. She's nice. What's your name? What's your name, love? What?

Whittopon. What? Whittopon Coneyhole? And Widdopon. Wittopon Cunyhole. Why? Open Cunneyol. Oh, my name's Widopin Coneyhole.

Right. What can you tell us about the bad guy? You're the bad guy. Oh yeah. Oh, no, I'm Bond. Hello, I'm James Bond. Is he? Right, I'm on Bonn.

He's Ray. He's right. You talk to about where I am. Would you like to see inside my cannyon? It's very big. Why do you pen? I'm going... Stop saying your name.

It's not a character if you just say your name and then walk out. I mean... I'm with a bit of canny-ho, bye! He hasn't done anything yet. I'm spoken to her. Yeah, he's had the tea.

He hasn't even wooed you yet. You got a charmer, like Bond charms. Oh, hello. I fancy a bit of a drink of booze or something. All right, good. That sounds good. Have you got any? No.

They took everything off me when I was captured. Oh. Don't you... We took his gun off him and his gadgets. Don't you have like a pop-up martini gadgets. I've got like a laser watch, but I shouldn't say that in front of...

No, take that off him, actually. That one, they haven't done. Oh, no. He's stopped touching the mic, you con. That's knob job. He's not... That's not what I call him. Knob job.

Take his watch off him. Yes, you're right, so, doctor. Thank you. Oh, Spitty's coming out. It's coming out of his forehead. Oh, Spitty coming out. Why do you go around the back and clean your fucking forehead, you cunt? Does nobody want to see we'd open Cajani?

Cajani. I changed her name. Oh shit, the mask's fallen. They know I'm Gajani, a Jani hole. God, the big twist was all along. I'm actually for Jarnie Jarnie Hall. Oh, dear. Big twist was that the knob job was Coneyhole.

Oh, all along. All along. I'm going. Right, well, I see you tomorrow, Bond. Hey, see you tomorrow. He's not Bond, he's rain, on rain. Join, rain. See you tomorrow, Ray.

Stay time, same place. I've got to mention this actually. I've got a shark. I saw... Spent 20 quid on that. I saw the example of the... The whole Bond, John Bond. James Bond, yeah.

John Bon Jovi. The name's Bon Jovi, John Bon Jovi. John Bon Jovi. The whole Bon James Bond, you know, whatever they call that, the way he says his name in the first film or whatever. There's a firm of eggless, eggless cake shops.

Oh, yes, right, yes. Called Eggbox. Yeah. No, cake box. Cake box. And they had an ad. It was up in Harrow. You were talking about this literally last week.

and it had this young man dressed like a child. Dres to James Bond. And he's got like a gun. It's an ad for the cake shop. And it said, the name, box, cake box. That's absolutely science. It's shit. It's like, think of something else.

Fuck sake. Someone's just in the office. I got one. Yeah. Dress up like Bond and just say, egg box, box, egg box. Why would be smoking in the office? He's outside on the patio and he's come in out of the smoking area. A little ashtray there.

Yeah, a little ashore of a story. No, it's fine, it's fine. It's all riffing, is good riffing. Right. Are we, did I pick? Have I got, no. Best example of that, by the way, is Simon Lebonne in the View to a Kill music video. Where he does.

He turns out of it and he goes, Lebonne. What a fucking non. I mean, I met him once. Did you? And who was he a replacement for? Freddy Mercury. In what? When you were me in him?

Yeah, we were meant to meet Freddy Mercury, were here? Yeah. We were in a studio. When was this? You need to give him context about why you would be in a studio. It would have been in the 80s. I was with my friend Virgil. His father was Steve Howe of rock group The Yes.

Oh, wow. The Yes. Yes. And we were promised Freddie Mercury. They were recording in the same studio in London. Simon Le Bon turned up and we were both like, oh, it's Simon Le Bonn. Yeah. He was perfectly nice.

I'm sure it was. I should have thrown a plate at him and went to where's your reflex now, you can't. Is he? Is he? Is he? She's super. She could have been a Bond girl, couldn't she? She could have been.

Yeah, super beautiful. Any beautiful woman could have been a Bond girl. She was super beautiful. Who's the most beautiful Bond girl? Yasmila Bon. I like the one from Russia would love. No, I like the Bad Girl Lady from Thunderball. What's her name?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's the best Bond Girl, even though she's a bad. I can't remember, it'll be in the fact file. Is Vespa? Vespa... What's her name? Vesper Lind. Is she a Bond Girl?

Yeah, yeah. But she seems more sort of integral to the plot of that particular film. You should have mean. Yeah, because she's like his first love. Yes. Yeah. So Fiona Volpe. There you go.

There you go. She's fucking awesome. I think that she's amazing. I think I fancy her the most. Eva Green. Yeah. So does Tim Burton. Yeah, quite, yeah.

You don't see her in a lot of stuff these days. He's like, I want that girl now. I want her in my film. Apparently she's an absolute nightmare, Eva Green. Is it really? Yeah, I heard this thing about her calling loads of people peasants. And like not getting out of bed, refusing to get out of bed and stuff like that. Right.

It just makes me want her more. Oh, right, love it. It's playing hard to get. Stuck up. Yeah. You wouldn't whack me off. No, you shouldn't. He's doing reverse.

I know. Sadly, it does often work. Right, here's the next item. Now, these are two items we're going to show you one at a time. Okay. All right. So here's the first one.

It's like the end of generation game, this is. It is. Say what you see. Oh, so we have a few eyes only Lotus, the Red Lewis, turbo with the skis on top. Yeah.

It's going to pre. It's going to pre? didn't it? Yep. So obviously he came out of time with the film, so we all the poster on the back. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a little die-cast car, everyone. That's beautiful. Now, is this the amphibious car? No. No. That's why I'm confused. That one literally, as he said, it blows up at the beginning

and then he drives it a bit later on, but it doesn't do anything. No. How can it blow at the beginning and then be... Booby-trapped. Yeah, but how does it recover? I guess it's a new model. A new model.

Yeah. Why does it have little bits of... Skis. Because he's in Capri. Yeah. They go to Italy to the... and it's all snowy. Why there's skis on the top of that?

Because he just said he was skiing. Look how big those fucking skis are. Well, it's two sets. Well, it's not a full set. There's not two sets. It's not like one pair of fat skis. It's not scale. No.

This is made by Corgi. Yeah. I think the same people used to publish the pulp crime books. They do the gas boilers, don't they? Yeah, they do a lot of stuff. Also a type of dog.

You have a lot of leftover metal to make die-cast cars with. Queen's got four boilers. This is a nice thing. This is pretty much mint on card. It's in its original box. It has a nice. a nice smoked glass, tinted glass.

I'm not sure if that's just the age of time kind of thing. Maybe it was yellow. Yeah, it is tinted though, you're right. Is it? It's definitely coloured, yes. It seems like a strange word to say your product by... Making it hard to see. Yeah, making it hard to see.

It's like most films these days. I do love it in the film, though. It's beautiful. It's like Dalton's. Does he have a Lotus? No, he has the Austin Martin again. Oh, yeah, but I like the colour of that, and it looks like an Atari.

Just remind you of an Atari when I looked at that car. I can't explain it. No. This is the Lotus Espirit Turbo. from the Ultimate Bond collection. So there must be a whole series of Bond cars. So it might not be from the time. Because it looks actually quite 90s, that Bond, isn't it?

It does, doesn't it? Yeah. It could be a 90s model. It would have to look at the back of the car, because wouldn't it tell you the most modern car? Is it got a VIN number? No. The latest car, I think this goes up to Golden Eye.

All the bottom row are cars from GoldenEy. That would have been 94? Yeah, I would have said something. Yeah. George about the bottom row, I'd have said at least GoldenEye. Here's a question. Do you think GoldenEye the game? the very famous shooter.

I was playing that the other day. Do you think it made more money than the film? They re-released it. Probably not an initial release because there weren't that many N64 sold. Also, it came out a lot later than the film, didn't it? Did it come out of 907? Something like that, yeah.

Okay. It definitely sold well. It was a system seller for Nintendo, but Nintendo never sold the numbers for the N-S-S-64. I'm not a Nintendo guy, but I bought a 64 just for gold night. Yeah, a lot of people did. It was a great-for-going. Well, that's why I'm thinking maybe it made more money.

And these days, games make more money than $4. films, don't they? I mean... Play it on this. I've literally got Gold Nye on this fucking little thing.

For the listeners, it's a handheld game boy looking thing. Did you get that from China? I got this from Amazon. It was 40 quid. And it's got like

everything on it. It's got everything up to PSP. Wow. But it's... It's 64 games on it and I was playing Goldnay the other day

on it and it doesn't really work. Who does it to guess the cup price first? Guest, go first. I think it's like six quid. I mean, it's up to you

to guess. We can go over it again and re-evaluate it, we'll be at to the end of the list. I'm going to say $599. $599. And don't tell me, oh, none of the prices are $99. They're not.

Well, I don't care. I'm still guessing that. Okay. Because it could hold that up. Yeah. But that could mean you're missing out on a per twing, extra betwing. You know what I mean?

I'm just saying you're willfully, like, sabotage and your pertwinties. I don't give a shit. You don't get... Excuse me, John. Oh, I don't touch me! What the fuck do you think you think you? Oh.

You don't care about, but you take that back. You take that back. Stale breath. You take that back. I don't give a fuck about my breath. I'll fucking French kiss you in a minute. You fucking apologise to saying that. You don't mean it.

Will Martin Short come through your spit? If you're lucky. Come on, make Martin Short come out. Come on. No, it doesn't come out. It's Daniel. Craig, what's his fucking name? Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid.

Dennis Quaid's come at me, Willie, if you're not careful, with his right wing views. He's a nutcase, isn't he? Yeah. Anyway, you're going with $5.99 for you for Twings. I'm going for a fiver. I think you're in the right area Yeah, yeah I thought five

But then I want to push it These are all really good so far We can We got two more items We can have a little revision Of our prices afterwards At the end yes I think we might have to

Because I don't know if we're anywhere near 20 quid at the moment I'm with two left Well let's carry on And see what we can find It's another car I'll just say that for now And I'll give it to John

Oh now this is the Citron CV from Furrise Only. They're both from Fuel Eyes Only, I just realized. Yeah, and again, I would say this is probably around the time. It's got a kind of gold-knife font to it. It does, yeah. It's got the old golden-knife font to it. It's also got a miniature Roger Moore

and the lady from Furious Only whose name escapes me right now. Looking up to me big book of facts. Didn't she pay that? Licketer Fanny Lips. Lickett of Fanny Lips? Well, she was Italian as well. My name is Lickettifety Lips.

The terrain modeled underneath. It's nice. I like that. Yes, it's in a little environment which they've textured with some sand. And it looks like it's... You could put plant seeds in there and seal it again, and there'd be a little biodome of... You know what they call those?

What? Merliner. Terrariums. Terrarium. I love that word. You could have a Bond Terrarium in there. Bond Terrarium. Melaner Havelock. Melania havelock.

Sal, doesn't saying the word terrarium to make you sound like you're Margaret Thatcher? Terrarium. Yeah, it does. Tuverium. It does. Toverium. For your eyes only. So...

I like the fact that you get a little. bloody Roger Moore in it. And a millennia have a lot. Yeah. Oh yes, the little figures in the model. Because that's the chase where they're all going down

the little roads. What's the full your eyes only one? It's the one where they went, oh, Moonraker's crazy, let's dial it back of it. Okay, it's more of a sort of standard. It's more of a standard spy film. Right.

Yeah. With Julian Glover as the badie. Yeah. And it's the one with Topol in it. And Colombo. That's his character now. Yeah. Yeah.

It's good. It's the one where Roger goes, taste the thing and goes, raw opium. Because he would know. I think Roger would know. I think Bond wouldn't. I think Roger Moore wouldn't know.

I've smoked raw opium. Have you? Yeah. Oh, big boy. On one of your travels? No, it was in Highgate. Were you trying to get back? Were you in one of those sort of Oriental Victorian dens?

No. A friend of my... It's like Johnny Depp in the corner. Friend of mine called Dan had it. So you seriously smoked raw opium? Yes. What was it like? It gave me a little buzz, not as much as like, weed.

Oh, okay. You actually, it doesn't... You can't just sort of put in a pipe and smoke it because there's that whole thing where you see in those old films with the whole... They have to prepare it and then you burn it. It's like a whole thing. So I don't think we smoked it properly.

So there's more of a process to it. He also does that thing in that with the absinth, didn't we? He burns the... The sugar. Sugar. From hell, the movie. I used to love Absinth. And then at one point...

Makes the hard grow fond of, isn't it? We were on this bottle called... It was a particular kind of absence called Capricious Absent. And we were like on our second shot. And I turned to my friend who I used to do Absintern. And we both sort of went, this stuff tastes fucking awful, man. Why are we doing this?

Why? But it was a real sort of moment of like, what is this? It's quite disgusting as well, isn't it? It's punishment booze. Yeah. It's, you know. Is this so you thought you were going to see Kylie Malone Manoogh?

Yeah, a little green Kylie floating around your wheelie. What's that from? Moon L'An Rouge. Ah, and there was this type of abstinth we had called The Green Fairy. Van Gogh. Oh. It was fucking severe, man.

Did your ear fall off? Huh? Did your ear fall off? My fucking. Knob fell off. Did you? Not really. It's still there.

I just never liked Absinth because it has this kind of it almost evaporates before you can swallow it. It's very gasoline and it's like that there. It's incredibly alcoholic. Yeah, it was this Van Gogh. And a big reason that we were sort of attracted to doing Absinth

was because it had supposedly the wormwood, which is one of the flavorings in it, had psychoactive effects above and beyond the actual alcohol. itself. Like it was this substance in the wormwood called Thurgood or something like that, which was supposed to give you like a trippy effect. Totally debunked.

Yeah. Doesn't it? It just makes it taste more of shit. Well, kids don't use drugs. But we like this Van Gogh stuff because it was like 80% booze and dark green and had a whole bracken bush of like raw wormwood and bark and shit sitting in the bottom of the bottle. It looks like a terrarium. Yes. Almost like an aquitamarium.

Aquitramarium. That's the song for the end of... Stingray, isn't it, that? Stingray. Stingray. I know all the references. Go ahead and speak. At Maria, aquamaria.

Terrarium. Who are those strange and edible crabs that leave in your wig? 475. I like the foreign titles. So the one of the highlighted one is in German, I believe. Give it to him to read. Give it to read. He's a guest.

Oh, well, I'm not very good. You're probably better a languages than me. Oh, talk snatchy bastard. He handed it back to me. Yeah, after you reluctantly gave him a threat. I did hand him back. Don't you side with him. I'm not.

I'm just, being honest. He's here. He's witnessing your abuse. He's also whistling, witnessing. Whistling down the whistling. He's also whistling. Your fucking egregious behavior. Selfish, selfish behavior.

There's good people on both sides. Rianque porvovue. Very good. Solar Parasososos. Solar passage sausage. Sausage sauce. I think that's Spanish. I'm nice to meet you.

Sausage Jossis. And Italian, solo peri tooi oki. Nice. And German. Yeah. In Todlicker mission. Todd liquor. Yes.

Nice Todd liquor sausage Josh. I like it. I like it. It's a little yellow citron 2 CV. It rolls down the other. You get a tiny little Roger Moore in it as well. I like it, but I prefer the previous item because that's more of a toy car. And this is more of a sort of collectible model.

Agreed. Anyway, how much did you say? 4.50. 4.50. I was thinking four, so again. We're thinking alike. It means you can. I am.

I may return to that because I do think that might be worth more than that. And you're saying just four. Yeah. But again, I might come back to that earlier. I think, you know what my reasoning there would be? That wants to be worth more. Yeah. But that is actually probably more collectible these days.

Because that's trying to be a collectible. Yeah. And that's an actual core. And that's an actual toy. Yeah. Well, you can have a little rethink when we wrap up in a moment. Usually things that try to set out to be collectibles. The bottom falls through with their values, such as pogs,

Pogs and Beanie Babies, yeah. And I bet LeBuboos will be next. Do you mark my words? Is there an official LeBoo-Boo-Boo manufacturer? Is there real the boobos or things to be one booboo? I'm a really good question. Fred and Wilma Flintstone, were it? I'm going to take it right now.

I'm tired of this same. Thinking of Yogi Bear, yeah. Yogi LeBobobobo. Yeah, Lerbobo. No, isn't it? Bam, Bam, Boobo, Boob. Balugi. There you go.

Balugie Lulu. Yeah, and there's Black Betty. Bye, Belal! Thank you. Time for the final, final, final item. And it's this. We're going to have a little bit of fun now. What are you getting from your big green sack?

It's to be Turtles bag. Is that a Turtles, is it? Yeah, it's Turtles, Ninja Turtles bag. Where did you get that from? Well, I was a video game journalist 26 years ago. I went to the launch of, for some reason, I went to the launch of a Nickelodeon thing, and for some reason they were giving out Turtles stuff.

Right. So I got this turtle bag. It's quite nice. But it was that weird early 2000s redesign. Yeah, they don't look great. No. No. That one.

Anyway. Can you do six degrees separation, Bond and the teenage mutant ninja turtles? I was going to say nearly because David Warner's in The Secret of the Ewe. He must have been adjacent to somebody somewhere along the line. I can't think he was. David Warner, he died, didn't he?

Yeah, long time ago. He was also the devil in Time Bandits. He was in lots of things. He was bloody good. He was the Jack the Ripper in Time After Time. Ah. He was in the League of Genoan movie. Yeah.

Was he? Yeah. Everyone was in that film. Press a P, I think he's called. Yeah, it's good, that. What are we talking about? What's in your bag? What's in your bag?

What's in your bag, Mr. Slag. The last item is this. Trivial Pursuit 007. Right. Here's a little trivial pursuit meta, trivial pursuit question for you, because I guessed this exactly right last night when we were talking about this very item

in my open-faced Chinese poker game. How many cards are there in a standard trivial pursuit? In your box? On your box? Sorry, cards or questions? cards. I would probably argue there would be around about 5,000. 250.

250. Oh, how much is it? There are 400. 5,000. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. With the expansion package.

Yeah, poor. You're such a dick sometimes. I know, but it was a fucking lame guess. Well, it's just an arbitrary thing to ask me. I know. There's an arbitrary thing to ask. You only asked it so you could get that reaction from yourself. That was the reason why you asked it.

I know. I'm going to ask a fucking question. You could have got it right, though, couldn't you? Yeah, but I didn't. And then I wouldn't be able to laugh at you, would I? Yeah. But again, you asked something so fucking... I mean, John was quite close. Yeah.

By an order of magnitude, he was in the sort of ballpark there, you know. Just fuck off. Right. Trivial Pursuit, 007. Right. We're all going to have a go with this. I'm going to ask you two first. Oh, no.

I'm asking you two into Bond. You two into Bond. I guess you know fuck all. It's you versus John, Paul. I'd be fun. All right, yeah, let's do that. Just take, the categories are broken up into casts and characters, films, vehicles, gadgets and weapons, locations, and then crew behind the scenes. But then when you ask the question, it tells you what Bond film it's from next to it.

So that might give a little bit of extra context. Right, so I'll give you both. Just ask him six, and then ask me six and see how it goes. But one of each type of question, yeah? Yeah, just go down the card. Yeah, okay. Sounds good. The pressure's on now.

Yeah, good. John, do you want to start here? Yeah, go on then. All right. Can I steal if he doesn't know? Well, you have to be making a score, score of the score? You have to be making.

I'm doing it. Here we go. I'm in charge. I'm in charge, mother. Okay. Right, go on. Oh, this can be... Are you ready?

Yeah, go on. I need my glasses. Oh, you need your glasses. He's getting old. Look, you and I are both wearing glasses. Yeah, but I can make fun of him because he's the latest to the party to have to wear them. So we're all men of an age.

Of an age. We can't mock people. people wearing glasses. I mean, I can. That's why I'll... What's his name? Mousy tongue did that, didn't he? Mousy tongue?

Is that another sex act I don't know about? I gave her the old Mousy tongue. Cats have got a Mousy tongue, haven't they? They've been eating Mites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're thinking of Poul pot. Thank you. Yes.

Pol Pot noodle, I don't know. Come on. Go on. Why have they never done a pole pot noodle? They never have. No, no. When that Pulpot won, Britain's got talent, they could have done a pool pot noodle.

They could have done. Right, come on. And now I'm desperately thinking of dictator a noodle puns. I can't stop. Yeah, go on. Colonel Gaddafi... Taffy.

Duffi. Ketanadafi. I think this is not a noodle. This is not a newdo. Ring bells for me this. Idi Amin L nitrate. That's not food.

Happy noodles. It is to sub. Mussolini. Mussolini and... Tortolini. Tortolini. Yeah. Yeah.

Musilini and squid tortellini. Right. Come on. Perfect. Right. You're ready for your first question. Straight it. He just.

wanted to do the pun so he didn't have to answer the question that's true that's what we do busted okay now is here is someone who we've mentioned already yeah go on question one is what what film do i tell you the film first you can if you want the living daylight is the film oh yeah yeah and the question is yeah joe don baker oh we talk about in two other bond films which movies are they other than three at the living daylight yeah so golden eye and the world is not no sorry golden nine tomorrow never knows correct he said tomorrow never knows no he said tomorrow never knows it doesn't Matt, we both know what he was. If that was me, you'd be, no,

row, you said no, like that barking. You deserve, you deserve less. Look, you threw me off. Could you not do that while I'm trying to answer a question? Give him a point. Right, give him a next one. It's a one point. It's one point. But yeah, I'm taking a track of the points he gets.

The film here. The film here. The only live twice is the film. When Bond introduces himself to Osato, who does he say he is? When Bond introduces himself to... My favourite bit of being a quiz master when you repeat at the second time. It's really good.

good. Who does he say he is? I'm Captain Random Fingers. We're looking for a name. I'm a Fally Inspector of. No, not a job, no. Is it for me? Yes. Yeah. Oh, I thought.

He's six in a row. You get six in a row. I don't remember. You don't remember. I know his password is I love you, but it's not that because it's a name. It's a job title. He doesn't say his Tiger Tanaki, does he? No, he says he's Mr. Something.

Oh, fuck, yeah. It's when he goes to the chemical factory. I cannot remember. Okay. Mr. Fill your guts. That's what I said. That's what I said. Mr. Phil. Mr. Fish guts.

Mr. Fisher. Japanese for Fisher. Yeah, exactly. You're one for two. Yeah. All right. You ready for your third one? Question three.

This comes on her majesty's secret service. Okay. Oh. We all know there was a one-time bond in that. George Lars. Do you know she had like strange biology? Who? The queen.

Like there was the Her Majesty's Secret Service. That's not like. You're so badly thought out. And I'm bringing. Gold. Like my rave review thing. Fuck off. Question three.

Majesty's Secret Servix. Come on. Come on. Okay. This is for you, John. Okay. Bond defied death on a cable car. What film is this?

In on Her Majesty Secret Service. And which other movie? Oh, I know. Moon Raker. Yes. Two points there. We're halfway through. Halfway through.

How you'd think you're doing? Good. Well, he's got two for three. Not bad. I mean, not great, no. I should have three out of three here. Now, here's your task to make it three out of four. He built a career on lies.

Die another day is the following question. Yeah. When Bond arrives in North Korea, where is his trusty? I'm adding that word. Walter P99, hidden. Where is he hidden his gun, everybody? He arrives in North Korea. Oh, bad as a asshole.

It's in a surfboard. Yep. Have a point. Well done. Okay. This is your fifth question, and this is from Tomorrow Never Dies. In which city does Elliot Carver launch his new global satellite network? From which city?

For which city? Hamburg. Yep. Hey, nicely done. How many has he dropped now? Four so far. He's only dropped one. He's going to open a window. I thank you.

That's a real Dr. No-No, no. Sorry. Okay, this is Dr. No, by the way. Who are the two producers? Two producers of Doctor-No. Albert, Broccoli and Harry Salt. That's right. Yeah.

There you go. Got five out of six. Very good. Right, hit me with a card. Random. Anyone from the middle. I don't mind. It's your turn now, Paul.

My turn. Oh, this is going to be great. Come on. Here we go. You would have to do very, very well to beat our guest. Or equal. Or win. Good luck. Thank you.

The first question is concerning the staff, I mean the cast. That's what they're called the staff on a film, I guess. Some of them. Crew. Yeah, all right. What bond film is it? It's for your eyes only. Yeah, I know, but what film is it?

I knew you're going to do that joke. I knew you're going to do that joke. That's why I'm like having glasses, so I can just do the old wobbly air. It doesn't come out on the radio, but, you know, it's good. Keep it off on. Never stopped us. Who plays? Yes.

Melanie. I'll try that again. Yeah, I think we use nice English words. To be fair, it's a foreign word. It's a weird word. It's a weird word. Okay, all right. It looks like it's going to be a different name, but then it is...

And what film was it? Did you say? For your eyes only. For your eyes only. For your eyes only. Who plays? Melina Have a look. Oh, for fuck's sake. I literally just saw her name on that book and it's gone. It's a long name.

I don't know. I pass. No, come on. I don't know. I can't remember. Do you want a little very little cue? Yes. It's similar to an old lady caradone that sitcom about...

What? Hyacinth bouquet? Hyacinth bouquet. I don't know, go off. Haises with Bukaki. It's pronounced bouquet. Bucke. It does cake after they've everyone's gone on.

Nice cream pipe. Crusts off. Yeah. Flaky, crust, cream. Look, we are such fucking, like, toffee chunks in. We are such reprobate. Someone mentioned Spunk. We're just like, dried it.

Oh, top. Manipulate the spanking, all sorts of bubble, gobble. It's called knowing your audience. Yeah, it is. Unfortunately. It is. Do you want to? Yes.

No, no, go on for it. It's Carolyn Bicay. Oh, yeah. I'll have Carol. Oh, Carol, beg you pardon. Very close. Close than I was. Now, if you don't get this right, Paul.

I'm fucked. But I still want to do all the questions, though, please. Yes, of course. All right. But if you don't get this right, you will not to do it as well as our guest. No, no, I figured out the maths of that, yes. This is from Thunderball. Oh.

Controversial. Yeah. Because it led to the schism in the... In the timeline. In the Bond timeline. It's that film that led to it, isn't it? It opened up Palo Universes. That is one of the most.

famous sort of stories of the franchise. It's the only thing of a fucking note to talk about when you can talk about that film. Frankly. You know a schism. Schism. And it had a great,

a corking song from Tom Jones. Yeah. Yeah, allegedly he passed out singing it. He's great. From Thunderball Port. Yes. What number is the specter agent electrocuted by Blowfield

in Paris? What is the number? Is that like a horse Tabs its foot. You're giving us the number? Number sleazes. Number two. Nine.

No, you get another guy who's saying no in German. In any case, I'm going to say the number nine. This is why it's got an award, ladies and gentlemen. No, he didn't get that one over. Not for the conduct, the podcast, though. I hope that to be noticed. It's just about how great we are with our audience. And we do love you.

Anyway, sorry, carry on. Go on. Question three. I know. I know the stakes. I don't care. I do hope you do get at least one. All right, thank you.

I think the odds are good. Good luck. Thank you. What is the license. plate of, this is Goldfinger. Right. What is the license plate of the Aston Martin DB5? Oh, I don't

fucking know that. I know it's like famous. Do you know this? I don't. I don't. It is famous, but I don't. Give up. Yeah. BMT 216A. I'm sorry. I mean, that's... BJ's for you. Yeah, well, that's... DB5, double-bumbing...

Dirty bumseck. Yes, thank you. Dirty bum sex. Yeah, it's a sticker on the backs. A honk if you're horny, that kind of thing. No, these are... My other cars are lotus of spring. Fire missiles if you're hauled. I don't want to put any pressure on you, Paul, but you have... Three for three is out.

You have zero, I know. They have been really tough. I would say they have been tougher questions. Yeah. Not as an excuse, but... I think you'd have got the five I got. I would have got... Yeah, I certainly got a few of them.

This is live and let die. All right, fourth question. What does Bond use in live and let die, Paul? Right. What does Bond use to kill a snake in his bathroom? Uh, uh, uh, hair spray and lighter. It's not what I'm. got on the card. I need more detail.

Is it... It's an aerosol can and a lighter? Or something that he sets fire with it? Under ardures. He uses something else to set fire to the aerosol, according to this question. Cigar? Yes. Yeah. I knew he set fire to something. Fucking hell. Did you know that at all, though? It's not about me.

I'm just saying, though, that was your question. No, I don't know. I don't even know who the fuck I am. Where am I? Oh, I've just come out my mummy's pummy hole. I'm not going back for fucking new eyes time. Oh, it smells in here. Oh, does it? Well, someone's just giving birth.

Every fanny's dirty in Eli's world, including his sately mother. He's apparently got the smelliest fanny of all. Shut up. Why is it always smelly fannies? You say it. Okay, you ready for your... It's like me with dogs.

It's you with stinky fannies. Oh, my God. How do we go on a week after week? I don't know. I just carry on pointing to this award. It's not for us. So feel better. So I'm saying.

You're doing fine. Question. Come on. What's the next? Question five. This is five of six. Thank you. Okay.

Yeah. You ready? Yeah. You have one. You're on the board. Well done. I've got one point. That's all I need.

Thank you. Question five. This is the man with the golden gun. Nice. There's Scaramanga. Yes. Old Chrissy Lee boy. And that had knick-knack in it as well, did it?

Yeah. Who was odd job? Sorry? Paddy Watt was in a gold. Yeah. Yeah. Tee is live and let die. See, it's the gold.

You know, there's a lot of... Diamonds die, gold. Yeah. All of those words. Yeah. I keep coming on. Which Hong Kong club? Yes.

In Live and Let Die. No. Man with a golden gun. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, go on. Which Hong Kong club is Gibson shot in front of? Name of the club.

It's got a jockey name. I know. It's probably something kind of mildly offensive, isn't it? Is it? Is it like the happy sailor or something like that? No, it's like a, it's a term which you say when you're drinking, basically. Like yours. Similar to that.

Chin-chin. John? Bottom's up. Oh, yeah. It's literally the minute you said I could instantly see the title of the... Okay. You've got one for five. All right.

This is your last chance. Go on. For consolation, redemption. All right, go on. Good luck. Thank you. Who sang? Yeah.

The title song. Yeah. The movie, licensed to kill. Uh, oh. One of the greatest singers ever. It's literally just popped out of my fucking life. Hang on. I've got to hang up now.

I'm hearing the... Foe ring. No. No, no. No. What would you hear it ring? if you had it up. You hear something else, don't you? It's right. Oh, I'm black fling.

Who's the opposite of Doris Day? I'm eating... Gladys Knight! Thank you. Well done. Thank you. It was Gladys Knight. Badest night. But not her Pips. He was referring to the Pips. I know, but, you know, I haven't used one of those phones since the 80s. Who uses Pips? Who is Pips on phones? You like Ghostbusters and things. You'd like the 80s. Why don't you use old phones as well? Well, yeah, why don't you just go back in time and make the ozone layer worse than why you're at it?

They fixed it, so... So shut up. Why don't you just... Now, why don't you... You might be a two-time winner today, John, because you've won that. Wait, I don't. You can't. I don't ask you. Cons.

Here we go. This is like getting Christopher Reeve to run around the blog. I'll give you a five. Okay. He won't give me any money. I'll give you a ten. He just keeps saying it. Right.

See, I think, okay, I'm just going to go ahead and say this. I think the questions I got were reasonably difficult. Not impossible, but harder than I expected. Here's Eli's first question. Who played James Bond? In what? It just says which actor plays James Well, but what's the film?

Oh, yeah, sorry, from Russia With Love. George Lazenby. I mean, you know, taking your first answer. No, it's, sorry. No, it's, what's he called? The Scottish one. Oh, fucking hell. Well, I can't remember his man.

He's just taking the hair off a sheep. Sean Connery. Thank you. Not giving you that, though, because you did say it. You got it wrong with confidence. If you've been unsure and then repeated it, I would have given you a break, but you were so confident with George Lathes. I get those two confused.

I knew what it was. Right. This is Golden Eye. Who survives the Janus attack on the seven. Binerar Space Weapons Control Centre. A Janice attack. The Janus attack. It's an EMP attack.

And what film is this? Golden Eye. I would have got this one as well. Who survived? Who survived? Yeah. Oh, the Bond girl. Yeah, what's her name?

I love her to Sucker de Kocker. Better. It's close. Do you know what it was? Natalia. The Natalia is correct. She's a good Bond girl as well, I'd say. She's great.

Yeah, brilliant. She's the best thing in that, I think. With your boys and toys. Boys and toys. She's brilliant. With that accent. I love that. Everything except interruption.

Sorry. The Living Daylights is your next one. So I've got one for two. Yeah. This is Dalton's first bomb film. Agents 002, 003 and 007. Parachute down from an airplane to where... I know.

I would have gotten this one as well. The ground? Can I give him a clue? You can, but... You see a lot of monkeys on the cliffs when you're driving around there and it's hot. Oh, Gibraltar. I'll give you that.

The rock of Gibraltar. Yay. Even though you helped him. Right. Question four. This is from... The World is Not Enough, which is Brosnan's third film. It's third and final? No.

Penultimate. It's penultimate. Who, what, sorry, is used to kill Renard in that film? What is used to kill Renard? He's not even the main bad guy, really, when you think about it. He's your Bonds Bain. He is more like a Bain. You meant to think he's the big one.

I love listen to your episode about that. When you had, who is your mate? Who's like the neuroscientist? Or he said, Dr. Dean Burnett. And he was just like saying, no, no, no, all the way down, though this idea does work. Because the idea is like Renard can't feel pain allegedly because he was shot in the end of the bullet still in there.

Right. Right. Anyway, what killed Renard? Is it a remote control, Aston Martin or something like that? No. A cigar. No. A very small.

I like this game. A very small fly. No. A very small cyanide fly. No. Do you know what the answer is? Do you know it? You know how he dies.

Yeah, it's like a... The thing you're pushing into a nuclear reactor and it fires out, like a shaft of metal thing. It's a plutonium reactor, Rod. Oh, Rod. Yeah, I remember that. Rod Halen Emu kills him. That would be a way to go. You expect me to talk without moving me legs.

That's Orville. I know, but I'm doing Orville. No, you can't just jump from Emu to Oris. I'm jumping. I'm jumping around. Can't do that. Right, die another day. Question five.

Gustav Graves parachutes down to a press conference in front of what London landmark? Do you know that? A lot of people parachuting Bond. Have you noticed that? Yeah. It's because it's exciting. It is exciting. The only time Bond isn't exciting is when it goes on the water, I tend to find.

You mean the entire Daniel Craig era where he does nothing? There's also that. Yeah, he just goes on a train occasionally. He drives a little bit faster, badly pilots are played. That fucker was never in water, apart from to swim around in little pants. Anyway. Yeah, he's never in the water, is he? No.

Big Bend. No. Booking in Palace. Ah, is so... Did you know? I was up there the other day. Big Ben. No, Buckham Palace.

What of boring shit building it is. Yeah, it is a very door building. It's fucking terrible. There's countless bit of buildings all over the fucking place. Last question. What year was boring shit? And then Charles Chubby Fingers. The answer's 2008.

Sossy Fingers Charles. No, oh, I didn't give me a chance there. No, you're too busy talking about a sausage thing. How much was the Trivial Pursuit game? John, start with you. I'm going to say a fiver on that one. Five pound. Eli.

I would say... That's not a number. Oh, number three. Three, is that what you're saying? Hach, ach, ach, etch. Someone trapped down the mine? I'm not sure of his lassie. Or who wants to be a millionaire right now?

Being a millionaire. Who wants to be in a millionaire right now? I would. Debbie Daniels did. Yeah. To be fair. And a dog. Yeah.

I don't think that Paul Daniels went for bum, play with his own bum. I don't think so. You like it? Not a lot. I don't like that. Not at all. Imagine if you were having sex with Paul Daniels from behind And then he came round

And he was at the window waving at him And that was his magic trick That would be fucking great Oh mate I'd make me want to go fucking harder Maybe that's what Debbie loved Maybe it was Debbie Because Debbie has to do the other part

You know So maybe you start off bombing Daniels And then you end up It's Debbie She pulls her Talk about happy ending Or even worth of it's Martin. Who's Martin?

Martin Daniels. As you can see, my son is deep inside Debbie Daniels. I'm going to put a cloak over her. But it's all right. She's not his real mother. But he likes to pretend it is. Was he from their first marriage then? Yeah.

Yeah. He used to bring interview bits and he wasn't very good. It's a great interview on Saturday Superstore. And like someone asked him a question. Does anyone else do Magic in your family? He went, no, no one at all. Two years later, Martin Daniels' son is trying to copy his after the rule of Paviety.

Poviety. Royal perverting awards. Anyway, how much is a game? I'm going to say $3.50 for that. 3.50, right. Fuck me, that was a long segment. Let's crack off. Right, before we get into the answers,

before we give the points breakdown, it's time for a nice refreshing drink. Because apparently, Bonds coming back in video game form. And so there's a game called, what is it, First Light. And it is... It's not very good. The reviews will write themselves, weren't they?

Oh fuck that is the problem isn't it when you get that It's like first shite Worst light This game is not enough It's not good enough Yeah there you go Try another day Try another

See we should work in video games Journalism No because he doesn't pay any money I know that for a literal fact Right so anyway Because this game's coming out And it's like the new fancy Bond game

And it's one of the Well as I was going to say One of the few games Not based on an incumbent bond But that's actually not true at all There's been tons of games Oh yeah, there was Agent Under Fire, which was like a... Was it Nightfall as well?

Maybe it was nightfall. Yeah, we were just like a generic Bond-looking man. Yeah. Have they selected, have they announced who's going to play him in the new series? No, no. You've still got good odds, mate. You could be the next Bond. You could be Nob Job.

Yeah. I'd like to play Knobjob. Hey, you would make a great Bond, Hengen. I really want to do stuff like that. Because you know what he looks like, oh, I keep forgetting his name every time I want to say it. The Cardflinger guy who was into My Never Dies. Oh, yeah. Ricky J.

Ricky J. You have a Ricky Jee vibe. I can imagine you be quite doing that. Not only one of the great collectors of magic memorabilia. Oh, and like freak show stuff. All that sort of thing. Yeah. One of the greatest magicians card manipulators, yeah.

Whoever lived? His press to digitation is amazing. And he's in a bomb film. And he's in, yeah. And it's a shame because his whole gimmick was lethally throwing cards. And the bit they got him in to do that for the car of the film. Yeah, which is kind of galling. So who is he in the film?

He's just sort of just... A scientist man called Dr. Henry Gupta. Oh. who stands in the background and does not much. He just comes in and goes, Ban, I'll shide. Do you want to see me cards cut? Yeah.

Every time. Yeah. Like, literally, if you watch the film, every time he does this, it'll cut away to something else. He was also in more than one David Mammett film, wasn't he? Yes.

Oh, I didn't know he did a lot of acting. He was a friend of Mammets. And Dead Ringers? Deadwood. Oh, Deadwood. Oh. Playing poker a lot. Anyway, this is all to say that there's a game coming out,

and Coca-Cola have decided to team up with the game, and they brought out 007 Coke, which is zero sugar, zero caffeine zero calories Yeah zero zero zero And they did this They did this with quantum of solids

As well at the time They did Coke double-o I think it was when Coke zero first came out It was Coke 0070 Now anyway Do you know in America Do you think it's gonna taste different No

Anyway we have got The 007 Coke Let's have a little sip now before The Joy Eey's just downed it You must have been thirsty I am thirsty That's very nice Hmm

Can you taste the Espotet I can't taste anything there No I'll say this This isn't reeking of Esparti It tastes a bit more like zero or whatever they call it. Yeah, it is Coke Zero. It is Coke Zero. I mean, it is, but like, it's also got no caffeine in.

But the caffeine is a very tiny element of the flavour. The thing is, if you're Bond, don't you want all sugar, all caffeine more calories? Yeah, but then you can't call it double zero, can you? Because it would be zero and then 0.5 milligrams or whatever. Not a new bond, New Bond's boring, isn't he? Is he? He doesn't smoke anymore, he doesn't drink that much. When it's the last time Bond smoked?

Was it Pierce Brogner? No, he has a cigar in a day and another day. Oh, you're right, he did. Yeah, but cigarettes, I meant. Oh, cigarettes in general, yeah, so license to kill, that makes sense. Bonch had always smoke, though. Yeah, but it's not... This is the whole weird thing about it.

It started... They weren't old-fashioned, but they also want them modern at the same time. To my mind, it started being very close to parody or satire already, right? The first film. Yeah. It was met, but then it was sort of taken seriously the adventure suspense elements, weren't they? Were sort of... And what...

...latched onto. That's what people enjoyed about it, sort of not... It wasn't the satire... of the spy genre that they enjoyed. There was never a satire. It was almost a satire. It was almost a send-up, wasn't it? No.

Because you had other things that were more like that like My Man Flint or whatever, which were much more outwardly spoofing a genre. But it was spoofing Bond, because Bond literally created that genre. So it can't be a spoof of something. It effectively created. Well, I guess the Casino Real film,

which isn't official. That was a spoof of itself, I suppose. Yeah. That holds almost no relation to the book, though, does it? It's just the title. the idea of being a man called James Bond. Okay.

But would you agree then that there was... Never. There were elements of satire, even in the original... In Dr. Noe, in the first film, there were elements of... But what is it satirising? Because there was nothing like Bond before Bond. There's a spy genre. Not in the same way.

I mean, that's when people say the modern action film started with Doctor No. That's because, like... Yeah. Certainly in Britain as well, that character wasn't really a character you saw at all on the screen, really. It's hard to say. Yeah. But I don't think it was a satire of any... anything because it was the thing that it was.

It did have a sense of humour. There's a humour. Running through it. Yes. Yes. Okay, that's what I'm getting at. I think that's...

I think it's... There is a sort of sending up of itself right from the start. It doesn't take itself too serious. It didn't take itself too seriously. I think the first two do, but I think from Goldfinger onwards there's definitely... There's a winky.

A winky. Yeah, there's a little bit of a wink. And then, so there's this tension is what I'm getting at. Between, this is because it's coming from your observation about the smoking going out. Oh, yeah, go on. It's like... It's like escapist fantasy for men. They want to be like Bond.

Yeah. But also it's meant to be someone you couldn't be or it's meant to be a fantasy beyond anything that could really happen. So it's escapism but also like a role model. And there's a tension there. Do you see what I mean? So it's like, yeah, of course he should smoke. I mean, he's a murderous thark.

But kids watch him. So maybe you shouldn't. Do you see what I mean? It's like, what are you trying to say? Yeah, but if I watch Bond, I didn't think I want to smoke because I want to fuck ladies. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of my takeaway. Do you see what I'm getting at this?

with a watch that can magnetise a lady's dress off. It just seems ridiculous to me that you have this character who murders people, you know. He's got a licence to kill. Who womanises. Yeah, he's got a license to thrill. And then you're like worried that he smokes cigarettes because it might make people copy him. He's got a license out of emphysema. Doesn't quite scan or rhyme, but it's also...

You see what I'm kind of getting out there? You see why. There's a sort of weird tension at the heart of the very character itself. You're saying it wants to have his cake and eat it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think the problem with...

Bond as a franchise, it's been very elastic. So, like, it starts off realistic or low-key thrill, and then it kind of gets bigger. You get golfing and it gets a bit out of hand, and then they retract again, and you get Mono Magisties, and then you get Modramur pulling at it until you get to Moonrake, and then it retracts again for the Spy Who Lovenor.

And then you get the adult and making it addle. And then you get the invisible car in Dine of the day. Exactly. And the dial goes back and forth. That's the tension with Bond. How seriously does it take itself? And then when does it decide to lean into its campier, broader elements?

The Craig era, the needle never raised. at all. No. Right. Although it's weird because I still think Casino Royale is the standout

from all of those films because outside of the beginning, the famous beginning parkoury bit, there's also the excellent airport sequence which to me reeks of Indiana Jones.

If you watch that back, it feels more like an Indiana Jones set piece than a bodice. Does it? Yeah. I don't remember that. He's going through the mail detector.

Just so he can have a little cameo. We're going to an island, are you? Yeah. He's flying with Ireland. I mean, now we know we were going. Pong!

From Miami airport as well, so yeah, 100%. Oh, yeah, it would have been. It's a great airport I was there recently. One thing that struck me, that stuck with me over the years was my dad made a comment about Bond, and he said, why do they just make it them 18 these films? Why do they always have to be sort of, have all of these really adult things in them?

But also, and I think this speaks to the tension I'm talking about with the cigarettes. Is it for kids, in which case, or is it not for kids? In which case, he could smoke. You know what I'm getting at? So my dad's point was like, Why don't they just make an 18 film?

Well, they made a 15 with life is to kill. No one would see it. Because it was too violent. It was an incredibly violent. It came out on a horrific year to release a film, though. 89. 89. Why was that such a bad year?

Batman, Ghostbusters 2, Last Crusade, Star Trek 5. Back to the Future 2. Back to the Future 2. Yeah, all within six months. And they released it in the summer. Yeah. And Bond's usually winter. Yeah.

Crazy year. Yeah. Mental. It's like the summer of sequels, basically, as they called it, because every big film of the 80s had the sequel that year. It's like, all the sequel that year. It's like, You could say sort of the birth of the modern blockbuster

with Batman that year. But License to Kill was an attempt to actually be more like lethal weapon guest die hard. Yeah, you've got Michael Kamen doing the musical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've nowadays that they've gone, let's put it out next year, get a chance, but they were so confident that. Which is a shame because, like, I adore License to Kill.

It's one of my top five, easy, easy choices. And then the franchise reacted again to the Bourne films, right? Yeah, with Craig. With Craig, yeah. I mean, reacted to Star Wars of Moon, Raker, acted to black exploitation with living like that. It's always been a magpie. Yeah. Which is what is the charm

about it, but when you talk about ratings in 18, when that film was first released, Dr. Note, the ratings board was completely different. The standard of audience was completely different. So that film was just almost the generic anyone can go see this movie, right? There's no blood or anything. No, it wasn't an X rating and things like that.

You think there should have been snosh shots. Yeah. I think that's a little andress in it. Andress more like. I think undress should undress. Yes. Thank you. Anyway, what do you think of the Coke?

Because we've been doing this episode forever. It's basically Coke Zero with no caffeine. Yeah. So it tastes, I think Coke Zero tastes pretty nice. I quite like that. It's completely pointless. It tastes a bit flat because I think that's what the caffeine removal is done. It's weird.

It's called Coke Zero. Caffeine, can't you? So it's a Diet Coke Caffeine, but it's Coke Zero. That's right. Oh, there's a chance to win a custom brand in Xbox. That's nice, isn't it? Everything, it's completely synthetic in every way. I wouldn't get another one, but it's nice to try it

because I've seen in the shops and thought, I'd like to try one of them, and now I have. Well, I've got another six in the fridge if you'd like to take some off me. Please take some home. I don't want to take them home the tray, no. Can we have our scores? It's time for the scores.

Yay! Right, I'm going to run down your scores. You can adapt or change them as we go. But first, let's start with Eli. You said, moon rake of the book was two pound. And then you said the fact... I'm sticking with all my prices. And then you said, fact file was 350, meaning 550,

so far altogether, yep. And then you played the quid gambit on the pin. All right, so that's $6.50. Then you added £2 for the secret book, Big Red Book thing. 8.50. So 8.50. 599 for the Lotus Esprit.

So we're adding basically six quid onto that. So what's that? 13.50. 13. No, 1450. 14. 49. And then you said the citrum was £4.50,

which means that's 1899. And then finally the Trivial Pursuit. three-fitty meaning all together that comes to what uh 21 that's close that's close enough for me that's close enough you want to stick with those prices don't want to change any of them i don't you sure yeah how's the time to make it six quid instead of five ninety nine six all right yeah yeah there's my little concession to you thank you you got a little bit of give a take could be one hole between yeah yeah yeah right john yeah is how you played you played you played your queen's gambit quid's gambit right off the

back with the book i did fine choice fact file book was uh two pound, meaning you got three altogether so far. So far. The pin, 50p, meaning we've got 350 at the halfway point. Secret World of Bond, the big red book, 350 again. So I add that, that's seven quid altogether. You said the Lotus of Spree was five, adding at 12. The Citrant was another four, so I'm adding four, 16. And then finally, the trivial pursuit, you said, was five, and I add five to 16 means 21. Or you both just come in at 21. which is two quid under how much I paid. But is this the chance for you to change your prices?

Yeah, you know what? I'm going to change my James Bond-O-7 fact file. Yeah, the annual one. Yeah, I'm going to put a quid on that. Yeah. Wherever I gave it before. So it's now three pounds. Three pounds.

And the big red one, I'm going to put a quid on that. You're going to put another quid on the big red book. Yeah. So that's for Fiddy. I'm going to put both my quids. I'm going to put quid on the big red book. Quit on the big red book. So it's now three quid.

Eli, Silvman, you came into a day thinking. You were going to play the Placetroyd. And you still are because your life's shit and we're not going to do fucking nothing on yet. I think he has done this as your life. You did it at the beginning. Oh yeah, we did in one of those first live shows. Do you recognise this voice?

Yeah, and it was a joke. And then we also did the... Brandoff. Brand off. Right. Happy with those scores then? You said three pound for the secret world book now. And I'm also going to add a quid to the fact file.

I think it's in such good. So you're saying $4.50 for that now. Oh, okay. So that's 23. Well, you gave us the opportunity. under the ceiling, so there you go. In that case, it's time to reveal the scores. Here we go.

Right, we'll start with how I've done it as we've done it. So the fact file... Can I just say good luck? Yeah, good luck. Good luck to you as well. You've all played a blind today. It's been a pleasure, by the way. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not thanking you. I'm not thanking you. Thank you. And you know what? You're listening at home. Thank you as well. Thank you. And thank you for your patronage. Thank you.

Fucking guts. Right. Right. So, the fact file book. John, you said three, pound, Eli said for 50 it was two pounds. Wow, that is a bargain. Two pounds. So nothing

there for either of you. Shoyed. Next one was the book, Moon Raker. The one where he doesn't leave England or go into space and yet he does all of those things in the film. You said, Eli, for Moon Raker, two pound.

John played the quid's gambit. Hang on, didn't you, the book was number one? The book was number one. The Moon Raker. You've got this the wrong? No, no, I'm doing it

in the order that I've written it down in. Okay. Not the order we played it in particular. All right.

We buried the lead there. How much was... So, Eli said two quid. You said quid's gambit. Yeah. You were right to do so.

The moon raker book was the quid's gambit. Four. Four points there. That is lovely. Four points right out the gate. A staunch, rock hard,

throbbing beginning for the young Mepardt. Might as well leave. This is where he plays Baby Card now. I'm going to say a odd job. It's just where like...

Knob job, that course. No, fuck off. We're doing the game. Eli's master of Eli's asked me to be here for the reading of the points. All right, well then I won't pay Eli for being in this week's episode. Do you want to wrap my head? No, because then I'm paying you. Can we get on with this?

The secret world book, the big red book. The big red book. Yeah. You said 450, John. Yeah, yeah. Eli said three pounds. It was four pounds. Fuck.

Close but no cigar. there, no cigar there. No one would have got that then. No, no. You were 25 p out of being 25 p out of winning. And even before I put my price up, I wouldn't have got it. Sadly so. Trivial Pursuits is the next one on my list now. I'm not going to get one

between. Eli said 350 for trivial pursuits. John said five. Surprisingly, t'was only two pounds in a charity shop. There's no more between to be had. To be, well, we'll see. There's no more petrings to be had. Right.

We've got the cars. The Citron, 2CV, the old yellow jalopy. Eli. That's the yellow, the yellow one. Yeah, Eli said four fiddy. John said four. Answer. Five pounds.

Oh, you keep getting within 50p. Yeah, you're getting close, but no cigar. The Lotus Esprit Turbo. Eli, you said what, six pound. Yes. John said five. It was six pound. Eli gets two between.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, we're drawing. No, you're not. He's got four still, then we got the quid's gambit. You get two, then, double on that. I thought I got four then. No, enjoy the excitement of getting spot on.

You might still win. And then finally the PIN. I'm glad I got two betweens, though. The PIN is the final one. Is that the final item? That was your quid's gambit. Yeah, so it definitely wasn't that. I might have been 75 PIN.

You said quidgit, you said 50p, John. The price was, maybe more surprisingly, three pounds. Fuck me, really. Yeah, three pounds for the PINs do go full money. That's surprising. This week's bonds. Price of Sight

007 special is John Ray. Hey! Thank you. I was absolutely honour. Not only to play but to win, my God, that's well done. To beat Eli

into embarrassment and submission. I spit on you. Fuck it. Fucking hell. That was nearly a proper spit. It was. It will be.

He likes it when I do it in his mouth. God. Jesus. Yeah. See, you thought you liked the podcast. Did he come in? You see, It gets dirty things.

This is like, you know you like the burger, but when you go in an abattoir. You see the guy wanking into the batter? It's like that. It's like that. It's the burger being made. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We heard the wimpies of podcast.

I went to an abattoir once. The view is awful. Oh. Do you know? Do you know? Go on, do it. I've set up a... Go on.

It's like a startup website. It's a trip advisor based in Ibitha. Yeah. A lot of rave reviews. Hey! Have you heard there's an Irish airline getting involved with sending prisoners around America. called Conerlingus. Oh,

Conerlinger. Go on. All right, so I went for a job. I was very qualified. Yeah. Very qualified. In the interview was one of these multiple questions. Multiple, multiple choice questions.

And I was very qualified. I ticked all the boxes, but they said I couldn't do that. I wasn't meant to do that. Well, I heard on the news this morning that the world's greatest Barbara Streisand fan died in a housefire. Apparently she could only be identified

by our Yenkel records. YENTAL records! That's good. Now, that is good. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, hey. I think we should stop with that one.

Yentil records! Oh, that's fucking. I've got to tell someone that. Well, all right, calm down. Yentel records. It's just gone out. Hundreds and thousands of people have listened to this now. Well, yeah,

well, yentel records. Right, okay, we're moving on. It's time to wrap this fucker up. Don't I drink more of that? Yeah. Oh, you can have the rest of mine if you want. Right, that's the end of G-Jjo this week. John, thank you for.

coming by, stopping by. Honestly, it's been an absolute joy. Because we often like to say when we have guests on for the first time, yes, we could do it remotely, but I think there's a certain joy. It's always in the same room, touching, feeling, smelling, kissing, cuddling, just being in the right vibe. Exactly. Did you enjoy yourself?

Was it everything you wished it would be? You know what? It's one of those things, you know what on the game show they go? I've just loved everything about today. Yeah. And also I won. Oh, yeah, that's good. So I feel like I'm going home, taking it back to the hospice.

I've got to give you a boat. I forgot to give them the prize for them. Praise of shite. I thought you might like this. If you want it, you can have this. A Kenny Everett video show annual. Yeah.

Do you want it? No. Oh, well then put it down. I'll have the... Friving Cities. Oh, I'll get you both to sign that before I live. All right. And actually, in that case, I can get you to sign this

because I've got... Oh. See? I see. It's great. It's a great book. Because John also writes great books. He wrote one...

You wrote one based on your Smurge Pod 1, didn't you? I wrote three based on my Smersheper... one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is Exploder book because I like action films more. Bang. So thank you for that.

Any more books on the horizon? Nope. Good. Same for me, really. None of that. Fucking... We're not doing it now. Wait until we finish fucking...

Might as well, nail a gas bill to a unicorn. God, all right. Hang on. I'm sorry, but to fill for a moment while you're doing some lovely... You sign for me. You're pitching stuff. No, I was just going to say it's been really nice to

meet you both in person and be on this thing. And, you know, look forward to when it actually comes out. I can listen to it and go, wow, I'm on cheap show. I was on cheap show. Yeah. And I can never live it down. No.

Does Smurge Pod go out twice a week then? No, once a week. Once a week. Every Monday. But there's another pod you do. You do two a week? Well, I do two episodes a week. Of the same one.

Yeah. And then takes a week off or something. Oh, right. Well, I just like to be a few weeks in front. Oh, so you've got them in the bank, like at least two more in the bank, ready to go. That's how we should do it. But, look. Yours is more admin heavy than mine.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. You got props for fuck. Well, that's true. There's a lot of moving parts. Soft drinks. I like food. Knob job.

Board games. Knob job don't ride itself. No. I mean, it's... Hello. Do rub my head and the sebum comes out. Oh, alright, then...

James Bond is a seaman. My name's foxtol. He was, um, commander. Oh, he was, yeah, Admiral. Isn't he an admiral? Commander. Commander. Grab my head and a nice sebum becomes out, as right,

I said, which is the greasy stuff old people street by... Harry Seekum comes out. Oh, the hills are alive. Hey! Hey! Hello, Victor, hello. What is it? Is that we doing?

That's Peter Seller. I know, it's all the same shit. Blue Bottle. It's all the same mentally unwell men being surreal for comedy. I like the way we're doing podcast for Gen Z. We're talking about the Goon Show from the 1950s. It's everything we are. In fact, if anything, we're the podcast that teaches the younger generation,

the pop culture of the past. Your hand across the cultural ocean. Yeah. And we say, it's all shit. Don't worry about it. Move on. Do other things. Yeah.

Right. Smirsh Pod every week. Download it anywhere, right? Yeah, I've also got a Doctor Who podcast, a wheeze and groaning sound. Oh, that's right. What's it called? A wheeze and groaning sound, which was what the script said the noise of the TARDIS was. Oh. But actually, it might have been a stage direction for William Hartle getting up off the ground. Or trying to remember his life. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. You have a podcast, do you like?

I don't. No, you don't do yet. You've got a radio show. You got a radio show. It might well be changing slot. I mean, it is changing slot. That's all right. You still doing it. The house of Pickle Sound show, a music show I do. on Soho Radio.

It's going to be on Friday drive time. That's all right. Wow, that's a good slot. You can do this is for all you truckers out there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And do traffic updates. You can do 4538 motorway where it's called.

Yeah. Two, four, six, eight. Never too late. Who sang that? Tom Robinson band. Yes, very well. Weird that I can remember that shit, isn't it? I don't know why I need that in my own.

That should have been in the Bunchable Pursuit game. Anyway, if you want anything cheap show Flay, we go to our website, the cheapshow. at UK. We have dedicated pages for every episode. We have links to our YouTube channel. Links to our Patreon. It's all there. The CheapShot.com.com. And for all our Patreon supporters who keep supporting us after all these fucking years, thank you very, very kindly. We literally couldn't do this without you. And if you'd like to join their number, Patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show. Give what you can, but only if you can. And if you can't, just spread the word, view us online, all that kind of shit.

Only if you can. Next week, normal episode, no guess. Me and Eli. Updates on Golden Lobes. We've got to talk about the content house. We've got a conversation about the content house. What about my Florida missives? We'll do that next week as well. Oh, you're just back from Florida? A few weeks ago.

I've got a little recorded, half an hour of recorded bits I did out there. All next week, yeah? All next week. Eli's report from the Americas, yeah? Right, in that case, that's last week episode, done. Let's all say goodbye because now all my fucking guests are on their phone, which means they've obviously mentally checked out. Fucking great stuff.

I'm checking my train. Oh, bastard. Say goodbye, job. Goodbye, John. Say goodbye, Eli. Goodbye, Eli. Goodbye, Paul. No, night.

See you next week. Bye. Bye.