CheapShow - Ep 483: Shipped Family Silverman

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

Remember a few weeks ago when Eli popped over to the USA to see family? Well, not only did he bring back a few snacks and treats (as sampled in an earlier episode), but he recorded a few audio packages from his time away. So whether Paul likes it or not (and he doesn’t like it), this week’s episode will be built on the bones of the Silverman family’s adventures. Eli’s playing clips of what he got up to in Florida and when he has his unruly clan went on a cruise ship adventure… with a free bar! This can only mean Paul is in for a rough, raucous listen… and he will be very honest about his opinions of this boozy travelogue! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-483-shipped-family-silverman www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] For all other information, please visit: www.thecheapshow.co.uk Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Magazine Shop: www.cheapmag.shop Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Can you please stop farting, please? Oh, please. He spaketh. Oh, the spaketh. They spaketh of the quiff, of the farth. But do they let us know that the windeth of them pours down the valley, erily. Erily on valley doth fart wind.

Hello, I'm fart-wind. I'm sorry. If you're new to this podcast, A, I apologize for that. And B, you need to apologize for continuously breaking wind and then go, Oh, oh, oh, I'm in my own air column, or whatever it is you're fucking saying. I said, I messed my own air column. Palluted your own airspace. Listen, you were doing wet ones and we...

In the room next door. Whoa, that's fine. It's bigger. Oh, it's bigger. That's it. I could air it out. You measure the room, do you? Do you do a little mental calculation every time you walk into...

Yeah, I go. How bad is it going to be? Yeah, I go. What's the dilution rate on this guy? I do, yeah. How is it going to dissipate in this airspace? Oh, they were so. What's the air passage going through door to window?

Paul, don't deny it. I hate to be all like inside baseball about this, but we had... Inside bumole, more like, isn't it? Outside bumole. Inside bumole. Inside, outside bumole. We had a conversation. You did a very wet one.

In here it was as well when you first arrived. When I was setting up. And I went, oh, because it sounded like hell's own wet mouth. Yeah, but mine are always playful, aren't they? And we said, and you agreed with this, they're all bark and no bite. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Mine a kachanka bike. They sound horrible and smell worse. You see what you're doing on a meta level here? No. You're just undermining my sort of... I never met a person I didn't like. Meta. You're putting gruntiness on me.

You're saying you're going, you're filthy with your grunties. A, you are, B, I'm right. You also, we all fart, Paul. Everyone has to fart sometimes. You, you couldn't defend yourself. You weren't on one of your little nursery rhyme mouth explosions, didn't you? The quitha. The quitha.

You see what you do. Down the valley, you actually stand up to me. You just go into mouth wobbles, don't you? Hark! It's a toft of... Using the word heart means nothing. It's a tuft of lavender thatch. Using the pond rock.

He liked it. Did you hear that? He liked that one. No. That was a repeat in the kind of, oh, very poor. Very, very poor. You're being very, very poor. You've started with a fart, and now you've gone to mouthwind.

I started with a kiss. Fucking word flatulence. Fletcher. Basically, both ends of you erupt unpleasant, noxious, fucking horribleness into the world around it.

Whoa. You do? Whoa, man. Whoa, man. Get groovy. Fuck off. Whoa. You fuck me off.

I'm tired as well. You're tired of. Grumpy this week, everyone. Right. Which means a little bit more sass. A little bit more vinegar and sass this week. No shit.

Fuck. Right. Hello, I'm the cheap show. This is our cold open to welcome you warmly into the podcast. I mean, welcome. Now get. comfy, are you lying down?

Maybe undo a few buttons. Oh, don't stop doing this. This makes me feel uncomfortable when you do this to the listener. When you do this to the listener. Paul, I'm officially uncomfortable with your behaviour now. I'm down the front.

I, warning you. Have a little shuffle for Gannon and Cheatshow. Jesus Christ, that's not what we want to be. Oh, I hate that. If that's not what we want to be, everybody. Just relax. Maybe in the bath.

Maybe in the bath. Soapy. Oh, there's a soapy body. Oh, rub your hands down your body and touch your genitals. You're the other one talking about getting mics that get rid of all the mouth noise. Yeah. If someone was into it us, for example, per se, as an ASMR. Yeah.

Then they were into all the... Yeah, but I don't like that. So I cut it out. I spend a lot of time doing it. Hey, I hate it when you hear those noise. You can actually hear it when people make mouth noises and you can hear it travel from the front of the palate all the way, do you know what I mean?

Up to the back of the nostrils, sort of thing. Yeah, like, you know what I mean? You hear the whole click at the top. The clock and the click and then the one, like it's like, anyway, this is a podcast and you're about to listen to it. Welcome to Cheap Show. Oh, that is lazy. It's not lazy.

Let me do it. It's called being concise. All right. All right. You're going to do the intro then. Our ladies gentlemen, Eli Silverman will now introduce the cheap show. theme tune as created by Noisland. Thank you very much. Here we go.

Hello everybody. Eli Silverman. That's Paul Gannon. He's in a bit of a grumpy mood today. That doesn't really matter. Oh, yeah. Because we are consistent when we bring you. Treasure amongst the trash. Other segments. All sorts of characters and shenanigans and get, shut up. Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. It's not very nice.

So enjoy the music. Cheap Show podcast. Time is now. Awful shit. Cheap Show Yes, it's Cheap Show The Podcast That Looks In the charity shops Poundlands and Bargambins of Great Britain

And et al And brings back the treasure We find amongst the trash And this week Well, this week's a little bit different We'll get into it a little bit later But we just want to welcome you in Hello, I'm Paul Gannon

My co-host over there Eli Silverman Actor DJ Lover, fighter Not a fighter Poet I'll take Anything else? Midget

Man midget Artist Yeah Piss artist Piss artist Oh What else are you known for Smell

You go again You've gone back to the exact same thing He is the Pong Lord Oh hell the Pong Lord I want to do a voice for that But I don't want to play into your way You will The Pong Lord

It's good The Pong Lord No it's not me Hello everyone He's got a gift right You know what? It's a pong lord. He's great at ambience. So if you invite him into a room, you go, this could do a bit of pine.

He goes, oh, lo, he excretes it. He excretes pine scent. I want to play the pong lord. Just saying the pong lord's there for, if you want it. I'll leave it to the side. It's just there on the table. I'll leave it there for you. Pong lord, Pong lord.

Ooh, la, la, la, la, pong lord. Now, you wanted to do some housework about the live show, 500. Yes, we'll be. Episode 500 will be an interesting beast this year. Yes, we'll be doing a live show. But we are also planning on live streaming it for those who can't come to where we're going to be performing it. Which is...

I'm finalising details, but it'll be the Cambridge Junction in Cambridge on August 23rd. Is it? 23rd? Want me to open my app? Yeah, open your phone app because I've got... I can't remember what I've put the date in. I've just got to speak to the guy and then confirm a few things.

But basically it is, yeah, 23rd, you're right. Yes, Cheap Show Live. Sunday, August 23rd, early afternoon showing details to come. But basically I'm saying all this because when we do finalise the details, we will be giving ticket access to our Patreon supporters first for a good couple of weeks before we make it public. All you loudly patron is you get the first divs. Because 500 is going to be a big show,

it means it will be our only live show of the year. We will not be doing it. We will not be doing the cheerful little podcast festival. Only live show to you, everybody. Which also brings me to the point that I don't think we mentioned on the podcast yet. Did we, no, we did last week with John, the Golden Lobes Award. Well, we might as well mention it again. We've been nominated three times again.

One four best earworm, which is music in a podcast. We basically submitted the whole album. And I think that again says a lot. I think that was very special and good. We have a laugh. That's what you should tell them, because we're going to have a meet and greet. an official meet and greet after the live show, yeah.

I don't have gin and tonics are gin and tonics available there? I don't know. I don't know. I guess we've got to do a bit more research but effectively Cambridge Junction August 23rd. I think it's like

four in the afternoon. The show starts, two hours show. There will be an interval. Lots of guests and surprises to come. You understand though, Paul. I won't do it unless I can get blotto from the word go.

I'm only joking. Can I do? I want to say one more thing as well in that we will be having special cheap show 500 pins made for the show which will only be available at the live show I'm prodding up with the mention of pins proddy prod right it's good

designed by as ever Voratoni and we've been discussing the design and it is a corker yeah so leave get your diaries out and plan ahead because August 23rd is when we're doing it Sunday that's going to be episode 500 I was going to do my own special sort of voice for Chipsome episode 400

I like it how you like it you like it you like it Do you do I do it again? I would never like you to do that ever again, please. Right. And what else was there? Pins, diddley-do, diddley-dly-ddley-do. Pay-On Exclusive first before it goes, before it goes live to the public, a few weeks later.

Oh, is that it then? I think that's it then. I wasn't listening to where you were saying. It's right. They didn't need to listen. Only they need to listen. Were they? Yeah.

I don't know. You were very abusive towards them earlier on in the show, Paul. And I think we're all waiting. I didn't say abusive. I was loving. Self-love, I was encouraging them to do. On their own or by themselves. I'm nowhere near.

You're nowhere near. No, I'm just encouraging them to stimulate themselves and get a bit of self-loving. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? So that's it in terms of news. For now, is there anything else? No, we are going to do a live stream,

maybe sometime June. Bit of fun. We're going to have a bit of live stream. You like the way we used to do your envision and stuff and the movie award thing we did. It's going to be like that. It's going to be like that. that I've been discussing that as well

and I've agreed to the idea of everybody. I've subscribed to Content House, Brandoff Content House. I decide to take a monthly subscription because I want to see what's going on. We keep getting letters sent to my place. Like bills. When can we look at that?

Can we look at that after the show today? Have a look at that. Yeah, we can have a look at that later. I want to know what's going on because Brandoff is getting certain bills sent here. Like camera rental, all this kind of shit. Streaming online. Broadband stuff.

It's like this doesn't have to live here. You're trying to get us involved. Yeah, no, we're not doing that. He said, but he seems to be behaving as if we are involved. Every other day, he texts me saying, you want him. I'll talk to, you know who's good with this? It's John Gunty. I think it's his house or something.

It is his house. It's Gunty owns the property. I can't even get touch with him anymore. We had to have him on the show, of course. I know, but he's not replying to my messages anymore. So I don't know who to speak to about this. I think he's upset because you severely truncated his bit. What, his 45 minute droning fucking vionettes.

He had some points about... Yeah, no, no, no, but it's not for a cheap show. And I contractually said it could be on the show, and it was for about two, three minutes. Release the... The gunty tapes. No. Because that means you don't gonna talk about that.

I'm not going to fucking dickhead. Shut up, dick, hey, yeah, go to fucking record it. So I'm just saying, don't make must work more, please. Can we get on with the rest of the show now? What are we doing this week? Oh, yeah. It's my... I, everyone, I went on a cruise, everybody.

I say what, set it up, then we'll take a break and then we'll come back and stop playing the clips. All right? Okay, Paul. Is he letting off? Or is he falling off the chair?

I'm checking the time. There's been seven minutes. How about we have a lighter little sound effect now? Nice little sound effect. Well, shouldn't I give him a little teaser of what they're going to get after the sound effect? Oh, I give them a teaser. Give them a clue.

And then they have like five seconds to guess it. It's to do with my recent holiday in Florida. That's not a clue, is it though? You've just told them. And then undersold it. I'm no good with that stuff. What? Promotion.

I like to be clear. No, I'm good with promotion. I like clarity. You like obfuscation. Obstification. Obstification. That's what I said. Obstication.

Obstication is what I need. When you want to hide the rest and you want to hide your mess. Oh, obstivation's what you need. If you want to be a little home record. Weird. I was working on the radio show last night. We had a call in. And it was like, we're talking about this show about pilgrimage.

And we're saying, what would your pilgrimage be? Who would you walk a hundred miles to see? And some guy called up went, Roy Castle. And I went, what do you mean? He's dead. I have to vet these callers before he put him on here. And I said that, I went,

you could make a pilgrimage to a grave, but it's fine. Yeah, but he was talking about because he goes on, I'd love to see him play trumpet. And I was thinking, but he's dead. I don't know if you know that? I don't know if he knows.

He should have said, he's dead, you know? Well, no, I did. I said, hasn't he passed on? And he went, has he? Oh my God. Yeah, didn't get on the radio. No, I didn't. It would have been funny.

Yeah, my. have been, but no. Anyway, he said he was dead keen, and then another woman called in to say she would go around the world to see status quo. She was really into quo. Yeah. And we went, why? And she went, oh, Rossy's hot, isn't he? Is he the one who's alive? I don't know. I don't know which one's.

I think Rossi's the one who... Mr. Rossi are you dead? Birkhouse and Rossi. Was it Burkhouse? Skinflint and Rossi. Oh, my fucking word. I'm trying... It's close to that, isn't it? Skittet. Skilit and Fossy. Schism? Schism and... We're going to have to go...

going online. Holly and Molly. Status quo. I've got... Smollett. Smollett. Oh, that's good, Paul. You got there.

You got just some gold there. Smallet. I love that. I've never seen that's written down, but it is a legit name, isn't it? Smollett. Stupid. What stupid name?

If you've got a block nose and you can't find your smollet your pocket. I'm going to... What is it? Parfit. That's right. Parfit and...

I forgot the other one. Rossi and Parfit. Parfit and Rossi. What's their first name? And I think Rossi is the brunette who is still walking about. And Parfit popped off. Yeah. But they were hard living.

You know, cocaine. All the rock star stuff, you know. If you want to, Timmy onto, anything you really want to. Yeah, dead. Francis Rossi, he's alive. Yeah. Rick Parfit, he died 2016. Oh, that's quite a long time ago now.

Yeah. Oh, 10 years, in fact. Wow, it feels like it was the other year. Only yesterday. Shit, what, rocking all over the world. My dad loves status quote. My dad wore all the denim in the 70s. That's kind of cool.

Yeah, and he did the old, you know, the hips, shoulders dance thing. When there used to be actual culture. Yeah. No, there's a culture now. It's just shit, isn't it? Yes. And it's... Old man, Gannon.

complaining about the days. Old man, he lie in a hundred different ways. Oh, isn't the youth today so shit and the old men have it right? Or is it just blinkered nostalgia? Oh, shite. Also, by the way... Yeah, this is going on now.

I'm bored of this. I just want to get into the episode now. Stop touching your mic. It comes a thumble and a dumble on the thing and then I pick it up. Yes, but there was nothing happening during that a thumbull and a tumble. You don't know that because you subconsciously do it

when you're not thinking. I wasn't then, though. I know, but when you're talking, you're doing, you touch it and I'm trying to get it out of you. How about you just relax, Eli? I am relaxed. I'm too relaxed. No, just lean back a little bit.

Relax. Feel kind of hot. I know. Or maybe take your shirt off then. You're doing it to me. Take your hands off. Just undo your front button. I'm not very suggestible.

Put your hands on your tits. Just give them a wrong. Derren. Oh, Gannon. Gannon, Gannon. Yeah. Just maybe take your getting cock out. Oh, you know what?

This is actually an actual good... So you went to do it again. Sorry. This is an actual good thing. Yeah. Piece of news that some people may have seen. Ben, And I think we should mention it.

Go on. And you'll see why. Oh, yeah. Famous spread. Your ma. Your ma's a famous spread. Hey. Yeah.

That's a fucking fair. My ma's a fucking perfect spread. Get some butter on there. She smells a fish. God, oh, my. Yeah, you went there already. I did. Gentlemen's relish.

There you are. That's also what they call your ma. Hey, oh, thank you very much. Is that you? They're stopping some. Sorry, man. Are you in showbiz? I'm going to get your fucking foot off my stage then.

Yeah, about that, hey? Do I go home and do your job and suck a dick? Something like that. Jesus. Paul? Yeah? I mean, the Snickers not. They're going to stop manufacturing it after 200 and somewhat years. If I'm 200 years old, I'm not getting any gentleman's relish.

I'm eating the Snickers and chan. It's a delicious anchovy paste. What's what they call your ma. Give it up. You are. You're reverting to that. It's exactly, since I heard that tape of you when you were a kid, man. I can't get it out of my head.

you haven't changed at all. At all. At all. Same material. Same content. Same delivery. At least I'm consistent and true to who I am. Right, let's move on with this show. Sound effect. And now Mr. Eli Silverman will present his proposal for a segment of this week's Cheap Show podcast. Begin. I made some... I'm going to eat Snickers while you do talking. I made some recordings whilst I was away in the state. and I thought I'd like to share them with all of you and you now, Paul. Hang on. Tell us more about your family unit. Why? Be on the recordings.

Context. They don't, I went, you'll hear it all. I want context. You'll hear it all. I went on, it was a siblings cruise, so I went with my sister, Lucy Ann. I don't know, the word sibling crews made me laugh. That's what it is. That's what the WhatsApp group is called.

Sibbling crews. Sibling crews. I've got a terrible case of sibling crews. Well, siblings. You could say brothers and sisters, I guess, but there's too many words. siblings are. Do you know what siblings are? I like the word sibling.

It's a great word. Although some people put an extra, like, you know, like extra, what's the word I'm looking for? He's trying to formulate a joke here, everybody. What's that syllable?

They have to put an extra syllable in, don't they? They do. And then? Sibling. But people say siblings sometimes, don't they? Sometimes they,

it's not a joke of just being observational. You mean like nuclear and nuclear. Yeah. Yeah. Sibling. It's like sibling, but sibling. I bet there's a specific,

a linguistic term that describes when people add that extra syllable. Yeah, what is that? Do you know? Something that happens to words. Anyway, sibling cruise. Sybiling, sibling, Sybiling Cruz.

Nuclear, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear cruise. Howdy-ho, I'm Simileen Cruz. And I'm here to take you round the world on my special plane. Where you going, sir? Where can I fly you today, sir? That's not a plane. That seems to be a bucket with some slops and pasting. Yeah, well, bet she flew in the Second World War.

It's a bucket, like I say. Yeah. Yo, she flew me back to Germany, WI-I-I-I. You're back in the day. She's a good bird. She fly that good bird. Can you remember who you are? Just get it.

I'll fly you, Disney left. I'm not getting in the bucket. I'll fly you Disney. Could you move along? Please move along. She's a good old bird. She flies. Could you move along, please?

Come on, Betsy, let's fly. That's you making noises with your mouth. I'm putting my dick in the bucket, too. Yeah. Oh, come on, Betsy. Oh, Betsy! The old bird fly in WWI-I-H! The Third World War.

Oh, he did fly off into the sky. Now, I've got eight clips from Florida. Right. Now, we need to connect... Are these all clips that happened on the boat themselves, or maybe some before? No, it starts from the first day I arrived. First day. And I just went to a supermarket.

Did you tell your family you'd be doing this with them? Yes. Did you say, by the way, guys, siblings? I did it very much in a little sort of voice diary format. Yeah, no, that's lovely. And there is some traditional cheap show content Because at one point we are taste testing Buzzballs that you can't get over here

So that's the highlight everyone So I need to connect to the Bluetooth mate All right well then how about this Are we taking a break? It's why we set it all up And we have a break Yeah we can have as many breaks as we want But we can have like 20 breaks if we wanted to

We were going to have a break And then we didn't do it in the end Do you remember We had like a break in terms of stuff And the audio recording I thought we were going for like a break going You have a room Put a record on sort of chat shit

about Ghostbusters or whatever. We could do that. No, let's not do that. Look. We owe it to the listeners to be nice in a non-contact way. This is just one of those episodes

that I think a lot of people would say we've knocked off. We've just tossed our blood off. Yeah, this is all right. We're allowed to every now and then. Knock one out. I think that's valid. Listen.

And I think it adds a little bit of a, you know, a little bit of... A cootcy pootie. A bit of cootcy pootcy. You know what I mean? Say cootcy pootcy. A little bit of cootcy pootcy pootsy. You know?

A little bit of the puzzle. You see that, he's just tickling me. That's all it is. I go cootcy pootie. It's like baby you like says cootcy pootie. I put the ootie in the ootie pootie. That's what I do. Shush!

You made me lose it now. I put the oosh in the josh. I need you to turn that speaker on. All right, baby. How about you lie back? Tell about you undo a button or two. I'm calling the police. Uh-oh.

There you go. I arrest you. That's what I had for dinner. And, oh, I've been at 9. 99 Let'sby Avenue is where I live. I'm a policeman. Oink, oink! Yeah, it's definitely the toss-off episode this week, in it.

Who I arrest you? Shall I? Get everything set up and we can go into it clip by, clip by clip by clip by clip. Yeah? Good. Do you know what I said to my belly button? What did you say to your belly button?

Are you going to join the Navy? Are you under your vest? Oh, that's funnier. Yeah, that's funnier. Okay. How you going to join the Navy? As in naval? Naval, yeah, but I've fumbled it.

You really did. Yeah. Oh, I've got a joke for you then. Wild West Town. Yeah. three-legged dog walks in goes to the bar. Barman goes,

how can I help you? The dog said, Have you seen the man who shot my Paul? Oh, gosh. How about that? How about that one? I didn't care for it.

Didn't? No, it's a... I thought it was jolly good. Shall we get the speaker ready then for the clips? Let's do that, Paul. Let's do that then. Now, Paul? Yes, hello.

You ready for the clips? I have the speaker in me and I'm going to press it up there, but depending on how we roll with this, I might just cut the audio. in. But we'll see, either way, we're listening to it live as is, and I will do my honest reaction. Okay, you ready? Florida clip one. One. All right. Hello, everybody. Hello, Paul. Hello, future Eli. It's Eli Silverman.

Yeah, he's still here. And I'm now in Florida. This is the first recording I've made since I got here. I landed yesterday. afternoon at about 3.30 p.m. local time and it's oh god it's like 12.45 the next day. It's a lovely 27 degrees Celsius where I am in one very anonymous looking strip mall in Boca Raton. So a little update. I got a really early flight, 940 in the morning. So I arrived at Heathrow. seven, well it's about 10 past seven, really early. God, it killed me. And I was extremely constipated even when I arrived. Good. And then when I was managing it, they were these extremely ribbon, cuboid ribbon-like droppings. I don't know if anyone out there has been there with me,

but I think it's because they get compressed and they sort of lie on their side that they have these really sharp edges. The only thing I could describe it as is if you had a It's the shape of a highlighter pen if it wasn't tapered. You know what I mean? Like a uni blow. What are they called? Uni glow. Uni glow, it is.

A uni ball. Uny ball. Highlighter pen. Is it? Anyway, it's lovely and warm here. And I'm in, like I say, some kind of plaza. I don't even know what the name of the plaza is. I mean, I can't see the sign from here.

It's like 27 degrees Celsius. It's lovely. And I've just been in public, so it's a big supermarket. my word the sauce is out here I had to control myself but I do get some things that we can taste in the pod coming up and one is called bon-yurt this is with frosted cereal this is literally do you want to taste this pool I've got it here kind of pasteurized yogurt because it wasn't refrigerated it's pasteurized yogurt with a little lid you can hear there but that is frosted cereal in the lid frosties in the

lid in the public's I could have spent a lot more time in there looking at sauces, cheeses. I felt a bit weird doing it, actually, everyone. So, this is my first missive from out here in Florida. I've got a room at my sister's house, and basically it has a really massive TV screen in there, and I got on my YouTube channel, and it's actually giving me the living fear,

because all of the YouTube stuff, the news content particularly or commentary, political commentary stuff, it's just too big and intense on that screen for me to actually watch. It just has given me the fear, especially when you're actually in America. So, that having been said,

I've bought some pickles. God, I love the pickle culture. You've got to love it. Batempe, Tempti. These are serious Jewish peacles because they have that candle thing that they use it to pass over. on the actual logo.

Batampte means tasty, apparently. That's in the logo. These are half-sourers. Now, this is the type of pickle you can't get anywhere in Britain, even in Jewish parts of North London. As far as I know, it's an American Jewish thing, the half-sour.

It's still crunchy, but still has a tang of the garlic. And for me, is pound-for-pound your best meat-accompanying pickle variety. So we'll be tasting those. I mean, I'll be eating them. Let's be honest. I'll be eating them.

Another thing for the pod, though, that I've got in Publix. Lulau, juice drink. Some kind of fruit we haven't tried, I think. Paul. Now, in terms of upcoming... Oh, yeah, the flight. Should I say about the flight? I watched weapons.

Eight and a half out of ten, even on a plane. Oh, God. The plane screen. I enjoyed that a lot. Genuinely painful to him. But Paul doesn't like you when I talk about films. So we'll just quickly say, I also watched Wolverine and Deadpool.

And it was so boring. God, weightless. Anyway, it wasn't very comfortable. Is it just me? Or like have planes, a transatlantic plane seems to have been then shittified as well. Fucking hell. Anyway, there wasn't any issue. I was worried there was going to be some issue

with my phone being confiscated at the airport. It was fine. I even managed to raise a smile of mutual experience. with the customs officer that I presented my passport to because it was freezing in the customs hall but obviously it's not freezing outside

it was the air conditioning everyone they had woolly hats on and things this man had a gun you don't want people without being cold anyway just to mention I also bought some chili garlic sauce this is this is the ship with the green top

and having a Celsius. This is the new energy drink, which is big out here. My sister told me all here top students coming to the class with this stuff. To sit through. You know, before they do like maths and shit. This is Celsius live fit. Retro vibe. Sparkling sherbet slush. It's sickly sweet, but in an artificial way. It's just about get downable when it's ice cold.

but now there's warm slightly, it's not an appetising prospect. And it has helped me to speak, though. So, hello, everyone. I'm going on a cruise. It's a 2,000-person cruise boat, which apparently is easy to deal with, and these mega ones that have up to 6K people on them, run by Royal Caribbean,

and we'll be going to the Bahamas, and we are on the unlimited drinks package. So you'll be hearing from the whole cast of characters, on future missives. This is Eli signing off on the first of these. I've still got a minute to go, maher. You need a minute to go on this? What's going on? Instagram from Florida.

Well, I just like to say as well. Oh. What I can see from here, I'll take some photos as well, but I mean, I'm very anonymous strip mall. And it's like, the architecture is like early 2000s nowhere land. are the only way I can describe it. It's like it's fossilised the point where

the postmodern just runs out of steam completely and it's just these sort of cheap slab work. And there's a frozen custard shop I can see there. Frozen fucking custard. The car park for me here is Cureleaf, which is literally a drive-through medical marijuana establishment. And it's just not much to do here. I've got two hours to kill.

But I've got some pickles. I'm going to be stowing them away. You've got pickles. And, uh, yeah, well, I might, uh, just, uh, just edit it there. Right. You know when you go next year, don't do this. Don't do this again. I knew you were going to say that.

I knew you were going to say that. That's the longest bit, okay? And we've got the cruise to come. It's just, that set us up for this adventure. The thing is, it's like, you know what? I kind of feel like, You started and then realized you didn't know really what to talk about. So you just looked in your bag.

No, there wasn't in my bag. I had all the items out. I planned that out, mate. You sound like a psychopath. I was going to stir at a shelf of things and talk about them. It was in the sun. It was very nice. Did you hear that?

Did you hear that? Do they? People like the ribbons. Are you saying the poo came out in the shape? In cuboid ribbons, yes. Like, like, pasta ribbons. Yeah, but thicker. But thicker and the width and the shape.

The height. If the height is thick. Of a... Imagine a pasta ribbon in two dimensions, a flatland pasta ribbon. Yeah. And then imagine it coming up. Yeah. Like that.

I'd be more interested if it came out like amoebus strip. Amoebus. Amoebus. Mobius. Mobius. Mobius. Morbius strip. Morbus.

Morbous. Now, all those things you said were good for the podcast. Did you just eat the while you were there? The pickles? Yeah. Wow. They weren't as garlicy as I wanted. No, that's a shame.

But they had that half-sour thing of super crunch. More crunch than you see on any pickle, domestically here, Paul. More. More. But you said there was a juice. Oh, I had that. Lalo. Lalo. It says fruit. God, that was so nice.

Yeah. I do have that boniurt. Do you want to eat their boniurt now? Maybe a bit later, yeah. We'll get it a bit later. Well, I'll have a snack because you've been a very good boy sitting through a large chunk. Let's put a sound effect in. Please.

Please. The next bit's only 40 seconds long, mate. It's all right because we don't have the snacks as well on. Yeah. Okay. You join us on. a loose-fit episode of a cheap show. Very baggy arse-all episode.

We're basically looking at my audio holiday snaps here, Paul. Yeah, it's audio photograph book, isn't it? And just like sitting through someone's holiday photographs, this is interminable and horrible. I love them. And I hate it, and I don't care. I love past me nudging present you. Well, I hate past you thinking that was content.

Oh, shut you. What are these? Vlasic, pickle balls, corn puffs. Now pickle balls. is a sport, isn't it? My sister-in-law, yes. Yeah. I think these predate that

because that's quite a recent phenomenon, pickleball. Pickleball's like, what, tennis? It's like, what, tennis? So it's easier to, it's less running around than tennis. You're not a racket sport kind of individual. Let me rephrase it.

I'm not a sports individual. I'm not an exercise person. No. I shouldn't. I didn't want to get into that. Getting old. Okay, poor. My tummy's gotten really big lately

and it's become noticeable. You need to exercise. When I go into work, I work with quite a lot of young people. I just feel really. really fucking old. You know what you could do? You enjoy walking. I know that for a fact. So you should do more of that when you have the opportunity today. It's tough though, in it? I've been told I've got to do the Couch to 5K app. What's that? It's like an app you get in it.

Like it says, you go for a walk and then the first one is like, you walk for 10 minutes and then jog for two. Tomorrow you'll walk for eight minutes and jog for three. And then, I kind of build you up to jog and stuff. That's fine. I just think you can do things where if you actually like walking. It's kind of like sweets. I eat nothing but shit on this podcast. I know. I play aerobie. This podcast is killing me. And I walk, most days I walk a bit. It's not about you.

I know. Is it? I'm just saying. It's about me now. Do you want to taste these? My death stare into the abyss of my own mortality. Well, that's not what we're not here to celebrate that. It's me looking at my potential many multi-futures and going, which one do I want?

The one where I shape up now while I still can. You should. Lose a bit of belly and look up. You should. You've got a gym membership, don't you? I haven't been in months. You really need to. That's one thing.

You made a commitment to go at least once or a one. Do a Zen pick We don't know Actually my dad It's just my mum She does listen My mum said I love the cheap show thing

Does she? Yeah No she doesn't She said it to me She's gonna hate that stuff I said earlier then About I'm being gentlemen's Vellish

Oh dear I don't know Sorry mummy Silverman Oh Now She doesn't appear By the way

But you will get my sisters Vlasic is a very famous Established Pickle brand In the States And so this

I didn't know This is made by them There's no other little corn popcorn. It's classic. Look, the corporation is flasic, but they make crisps. That's how known they put their flavor on everything. But think about it, that's no real different than like Vimto or Ribena. You know, and they've been doing that recently.

Yes. Lush Poppy. It's like the savory equivalent, yes. Yes, what I'm saying is. I'm not saying their flavor comparatively to them. I'm saying brand names that take that and put it on crisps. Into as many different products as they can, yes. But this works, these are cornballs, spicy dill pickles.

corn puffs. This works. You know why? Because what it is essentially? It's just like monster munch. Pickled onion. Yeah. Bickled onion. Yeah. Bickled onion. They're nice. Pickled mignon. Pickle mignon. Oh, put it, close you.

I can smell your pickled mignon. Yeah. All right. So should we try these and then we'll listen to this couple of clips? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's at that half. That has got that Sesame Street Girkin sticker. Sesame Street? Like, there's like those...

Yes, it's a personal thing, but it has that... Oh, it is very pickly, though. Yeah. Vineigree, dilly. Oh, they're very red as well. Because that's the chili. They're like red hot. Oh, really?

Yes. Oh, yeah, spicy. I didn't see that. Spicy crunch. I'm going in. Yeah. They've got a kick. Super Moorish, just an excellent thing.

Very, very nice, but not moorish for me. I tend to find with pickle, I get a cutoff point after a certain little while. I go, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nah, that's enough. Fine. I never cane a bag of that. What are you into cane in crispwise? You know what I really do, Kane? Like Bombay Mix?

Yes. I fucking love Bombay Mix. I know we've done it on the episode before, but we should go just get some, because there's a whole world of them out there. I know. I was in the Indian grocer up the road the other day. Well, you know, like they have all those different versions of basically the same thing. Yeah, but they've got different ratios.

No, we should do is get a load of, load of different with them, and then blindfold, we just try them and see if we can kind of... Which is Bombay Mix? Or what their flavour profiles? Or that separate them from the others? Yes, because they're a ratio of different elements, aren't they? Yeah, some have more noodly bits than others. Some have more...

Seve. They have seven. Just the seven? No, just seven. No. Oh. Oh, they have seven? I thought I would give those a high mark. I'm fighting the urge to just jam them all now.

Yeah, please don't. But I would give those, as a person who's not as huge on pickles as you are. I would give that good 7.5 out of ten. Yeah, I'll go eight. Yeah, I can go out. Eight and a half, maybe. But, again, not the kind of thing I would smash. I think that would turn my stomach if I smashed that.

I would smash them. You know what I've been... I had once. Popcorn, but a jalapeno-flavored popcorn. Colin, I thought, oh. That could work. But then when you hammer a load of those, you feel really ill afterwards. It's weird.

It's a weird sensation. It's like, it feels like genuine poisoning. Well, you're talking to someone who's done a whole pack of nitro tarkies. Like, fucking, limited edition, blue tarky ones, me. Turned your fucking shit into Dr. Spock. Green, yeah. It was fucking. Mr. Spock.

It was great, good times. I don't think he was a doctor. Was he, Dr. Spock? Mr. Spock. Anyway, was he missed a doctor? I think he was a doctor. No, but there was a famous doctor who was called Dr. Spock. Oh, what?

In the real world, yeah, I think so. No, there is a real Mr Spock. Yes, Dr. Spock. Doctor Spock. All the Trekkies in the comments, yo, yo, yo, yo. Yo, coming at you. Now.

Yeah. Janeway for the win, yo. I'm just saying. What's that from? No, Janeway's a counterfeit. That's a car different. That's, uh, downstairs, under, under decks. What's it called?

Lower decks? Lower decks. It's not. Sounds like it. Is Janeway's from Voyager for a start? Yes, but it could have been like reference. Well, no, because I don't think there is. Is there no cross-referential stuff in that?

loads of cross-dressing, cross-referencing. Cross-referencing. Because it's like a comedic thing, yeah. Yeah. So you'd think, yeah. I'm pretty sure her name's been mentioned, but I couldn't say it was in that specific sentence. This is not what we're talking about, Paul.

Well, apparently it is. And I'd like to go on. No, look at him perk up. Any of these three-beats. Well, I'm going to listen to you and your fucking piss-ed family on a cruise now, haven't I? Talking of that, shall we? Yeah, go on.

Next one. How long's this clip? Is it another five minutes? It's only 40 seconds. You're talking about pickles and your constipation. That was good. Is it, though, was it? Come on.

Clip two, yeah? Yeah, go on. Bullfrog. What's this? I don't know if you can hear that, but that's like a bullfrog, everybody. I just watch the Oscars. I mean...

What the fuck's going on? This sounds like the backroom's. The other is the shit. I haven't seen it yet. But it was enjoyable. Can I actually watch the Oscars on TV? I would never do that. The boys are no different in my home country.

Anyway, you're under bed now. Thanks, Sir, I'm going to bed now. Are you going to bed now? No, no. I'm just doing a bit. It's fine. What the fuck is it? Anyway, you can go to bed now. Yeah, we know.

Good night. That's clip two, everybody. Right, was that on the boat? Did you hear that ambience out there? I'm glad that picked up. That's all because they live right on the edge where my sister lives is on the edge of the Everglades, essentially.

Right. Right at the never... West Boca. So... Right. But it's right up against. You know, it just turns into Everglades. So there's loads of wildlife noise.

Is that what that was? Because that sounded like industrial. It was weird. It sounded like you were like... Well, I thought you were on the cruise ship. It's kind of bird on the lake, essentially, outside their house. Yeah, but that kind of... There was that.

That was the air conditioning, I think. Oh, that's cool. Isn't that cool? I love that. It did sound hauntingly like some kind of liberal horror space you were in. I love that. So, you ready for clip three? Also, same length.

Yes. Truth be told, it's fucking cool. here in Florida in the terms of the ambient space. I'm like in my sister's Florida room, which is a sort of greenhouse that all these houses down here have. Looking at the pool, the pool has a blue neon light in here. You sound like a sex pest calling a woman at night. Aviation, crickets.

Come on, man. This is the business, ambient business. Anyway, I've had some drinks going on the cruise tomorrow. Cruz tomorrow. This is a missive from America. Right, okay. So, you had a few drinks and you went to bed. That's basically it.

That's fine, all right. Now. How many more of these are going? Can I be blunt? How many more of these are there? No, we're going through them. We just want to prepare myself. I said it's eight in total.

We've had three. That's right. Good, okay. I know where we are now. Okay. I'm going to a sound effect. We'll come to... Whatever that is, you're about to get out.

We're going to do after the summer. Okay. Fine. I've got a box of lovely stuff, everybody. God, I hate these episodes. Bolty peanuts. All right. Taste these fuckers. A warning. Yeah. Very strong. Where'd you get them from?

That shop I mentioned just now up on Turnpike Lane. No. Oh. Oh. Turnpike Lane. Oh. Look, we're listening to the Florida stuff. Doesn't mean it all has to be from Florida. No, I just thought that was the whole point. Try these bulty peanuts. I'm doing them. By a company called Krishna. All right.

I think they're quite nice. Yeah, it's a gradual heat. Yeah. It doesn't come on straight away. They've got a little small, but yeah, it's a sort of, yeah. I like a boltie. I like a real balty. Because I've thought bolties refers to the pan, doesn't it, that they cook those curries in?

Don't know. I'm going to finish Eli's nuts. I've also got these. These are worth a mention. What? These are from a Florida. These are squashes, but they're made by a totally different company. Right.

This is the third time you said this now. And I've had enough. But you haven't tasted them. I'd have. When you brought them around to my house, please. weeks ago. I can't do this and eat your nuts. Alright, should we go to another clip then? Hang on. Yeah, do it while I do this.

Any context for this clip? Clip four, I think I'm onto the boat. Because that was a day, the night before the cruise there. All right, here we go then. Hello, uh... Cheesecake. Hello, everyone. We're going past the cheesecake factory. Uh-huh.

We're on our way to embark on the cruise, everybody, and I'm in the car getting driven by my brother-in-law. Safely. Surge. and here are my siblings. It's a sibling cruise plus surge. Hello. That's Isaac. They're all behaving themselves.

I do. I feel like your brother. So, the cruise leaves port at four today. It's 133. We're driving to Fort Lauderdale. We're a little bit late. We're a little bit late. That doesn't sound like a silver and fucking thing at all.

You have no idea. And we're crossing the intercoastal now, are we? No. We're getting on the 95 is the road we're getting on. To Fort Worth, Bill. Now, yesterday, my sister listed the activities that are available aboard this cruise, Royal Caribbean-run cruise, and there's a lot of trivia. So I'm hoping, there's one Motown-based trivia, so I'm hoping to win that.

Oh god Play-Doh or something 80s trivia 80s trivia 80s trivia Oh classic rock trivia Wasn't there something like Make your own anime plastic toys

Or something like that Candy sushi Candy sushi No that's too expensive No we're not doing that Right we're not doing that Mainly trivia and we've got drinks

Perioki and food So I'll be updating you once we get on board Do we know what the name of the vessel Yes, it's called the radiance of the seas The radiance of the seas will be the vessel Very radiant Hopefully I won't be radiating

Pug and diarrhea out my Arsehole and mouth Why do we need to sanitise our hands a lot, guys? Yeah Why do we need to sanitise our hands? Because there are a lot of people. Germs. Oh God.

Yeah, there's that thing, the poop crews. The poop crews. Do you guys watch that? I didn't watch that. Hey, listen, Paul doesn't like it when we talk about movies or TV. I don't fucking like it. Okay.

Sorry, Paul. Anyway. Yeah, thank you. I'll come be coming back with more reports from Eli's Missive from America. Cruise edition. It's my birthday, by the way. Happy birthday. Thank you.

It's your work getting on Express Lane. Oh, me. It might be. It's a little late. Okay. We're on our way. So it doesn't sound like a cruise. It sounds like you're going to an elderly daycare center.

It's like, oh, there's trivia. And there's a remote town in 80s. Listen, I'm 51. It was a cruise. It was fun. Was there bingo? Was there fucking bingo? No, there was a casino. I bet there was bingo though. I bet there was a bingo hall. No bingo.

Would you have gone if there was bingo? No, I went to the casino. I keep saying we should do a bingo night. We should go to mecca bingo. Yeah. Let's go do bingo one night. So that was in the car on the way to the ferry. Right.

And we mentioned the trivia. That happens. Right. Okay. All right. So, you ready for more? Yeah, go on. do another bit this segment. So,

it was your birthday as well. That was the one on my birthday. Right. When we boarded. Oh, did you get a special birthday cake for boarding? Everyone, the whole time I was in America, including the fucking woman who gave me my boarding pass when I was leaving at the end of the holiday. When happy birthday, everyone just sees that your birthday is sort of a few days overside. And they're like, oh.

And they tell you, everyone on the boat, it was kind of fun, you know. Did you get any free for your birthday? Because it is a thing, right? I mean, they bought me this cruise, my sister and her brother. Well, that's what was going to say. Her husband. Because I was going to say, this is cheap show. And right now we're doing an episode where you go on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship and have drinks.

But they are not. But what's the posh botlands? There is no thing as a... There's no such thing as a posh ballpark. It's like centre parks. It's like a vegan butlins. That's basically what that is. It's like, conceptual, it's like vegan butlins.

So I know it's like an expensive thing, but they're not... This isn't like a posh cruise. This is like a... No, no, no. I know there aren't like necessarily posh cruisers. This is like... Didn't you say that basically the whole cruise was free because it was like a points thing that you're a relative guard.

When you gamble, it's all based around the casino essentially. Right. And my brother-in-law... You got like green shield points for gambling. Yeah, you get reward points for gambling. That might be the oldest reference to something I've ever said, green shield points. Is that some kind of loyalty?

And I wasn't even around then when they were the thing. But it's similar to when you go to Vegas, right? You go to Vegas and you play at a certain level. They have these systems. They comp you, what they call comping. Right. And it... Because you want to like...

Not a whale. They give you points towards another stay. Hotels. And that's how you got this. By playing craps on, because he was like on cruises, he's lived in Florida almost his whole adult life. Right. They, everyone, it's a part of the culture there is cruising. Yeah.

And I don't think. Well, my mum and dad go on cruises from Florida all the fucking time. That's the cruise capital of the whole planet. Yeah. Well, that's Southampton, weirdly. Southampton, weirdly. Yeah. There's the other big one you'll get most of the cruise is from.

No one leaves some Liverpool. No, no. Not as much now. It was mostly always trade anyway. It was. It was dogs. Yeah. Okay.

So. So, next clip. This is clip five. Right. Probably from a board. Wait, isn't this four? The first one was you talking about your shit. Second one was you in the car.

No, the second one was me. In bed? Drunk. And then the third one was in bed again drunk. No, I hadn't been. I wasn't in bed. You were touching yourself. I was out by the pool listening to the wildlife.

Oh. So then you were in bed. I did have a way during the holiday. That's what you wanted to know. So this, we should be on to the boat. All right. So this is five of eight. Radiance.

of the ocean. Hello everybody. It's Eli. It's another missive. From Florida. Or America. Well, not in any either of those. I'm in the Bahamas.

How far am we into this cruise, guys, would you say? Day two. Day two, the cruise. We got on yesterday. There was no issue. We've done an excursion today in the Bahamas, where we did some snorkeling. And now we're on the smoking debt

and we're all having cigarettes. That's my brother-in-law Sergio, you can hear in the background befriending the umpteenth, no one. Anyway. What do you mean? It's Turkish. Yeah, yeah.

Anyone speak Turkish? That's what he said. Language they speak in Turkey. Right, it's Turkish, everybody. You're fucking Americans. We learn wandering. And we have just left with Nassau. We're leaving now.

Well, we're leaving Nassau. You may have heard the honking noise. Here's something that might be of interest to Paul, because he's a big Disney adult. And we've got a big Disney cruise liner, which we're going. I will take a picture. Thank you very much, Isaac. We did some trivia.

We did some trivia. We almost killed each other. And Jenny was... pushing an anti-truth narrative by saying all of the dwarfs from the seven dwarfs end in the letter Y. And I knew that Doc didn't. That's not yeah. And then so she went, oh, then it's six. It must be six.

And I wrote down six. And I knew in my heart it was one more. Okay. And what's that one more, everyone? Let's say together. Bashful. Bashful. Also doesn't end in a Y.

Anyway. Okay. Well, we're going to talk about your. Yes. Your misqueness. Anamination. I thought the loudest animal was a boxing shrimp. Anyway.

Yeah, I know you were close. Just thought I'd update you. The cruise has been very nice. And we're on the drinks package, so I've managed to pack away a bunch of booze. And I've just had my first of the second day. Long may it rain. God.

That's a missive from the cruise. I've enjoyed it. I love what I'm saying again, it is the pissed family silverman hour, isn't it? It's the pissed family Silverman Variety Hour. That incident was fucking with the dwarf question, man, the seven dwarfs.

What is it about trivia quizzes? That being compelled to throwing questions like that where it's like, how many lassie films were there? You know what I mean? No, but that is like, there's all trick questions around the seven dwarfs, right? Yeah. So basically what happened there that my sister did my head in?

What was the actual question? How many of the, the seven dwarfs have a name that ends in Y. Right. And she said all of them. Right. And I'm like, no, no, no. Because I can think of Doc.

Right. Yeah. And she went, okay, six then. And you see what I mean? Yeah. Her wrongness, if I'd actually stop, if she hadn't been going on fucking about it. She would have been convinced to the bitter end. And so it was one of those moments.

Like me, that's Jenny who's the closest age to me. Right. I'm two years older than her. And she's biologically your sister. They're all biologically. No, because we have this. one of them isn't. No, that's not, that's my sister-in-law.

I know, that's what I'm saying. I get confused. That's my brother Isaac's wife. Right, and your brother's biologically related to you, and your sister's biologically related to you. But sometimes I get confused that Emma was another sister of yours. No, Emma is my sister-in-law, you understand? Yeah, I know, I get it.

And he's a big fan of the show and has been in contact with you. Yes, many times. Emma provides these. I will be informing her husband. That's my brother, Isaac. He's on this. On there. Vlasic, these are from Emma and she also got hold of those

limited edition Nishen wings and doing people. Wait, we haven't done them yet. No, we need to do those. I want to do it on a cheap shot, uh, skate video, cheap shots. Do you want to do cheap shots with it? Why not? That's betraying our core audience, mate. Let's do it. We have to do them because they're already getting towards out of date. How about this then? We do it both for the podcast and then I'll film it the same time. And we put that out. Like we did for this and solas.

We've got to do it next week. All right. Well, next week is fine. Actually, next week, It's perfect. You ready for another clip? Yeah, let's put a sound effect in. Hello, everybody. Hello. Welcome to...

We're in the middle of the cruise. And did I show you the photograph, Paul, of the Disney... Welcome back to Savils travels. Come on. The Disney liner. Did I show you that photo? You haven't shown me any of the photographs. You should send some to me so I can put it on the website.

How about that? For this episode. Yeah. Otherwise, we've got nothing. You get to see everything on the website, everybody. Yeah. Hang on a sec. I just want to show you this now.

It is interesting. This is just like sitting someone's fucking holiday photographs. I didn't like it when Manam went to Bogner Regis and I don't like this. When was I there in March last month? Yeah, so... My sister's going to Disney land again

so that means I'm going to get 75 pictures from me and one go about the fucking Matterhorn or whatever. You will like this. I am a Disney adult. You are a Disney adult. That's why you'll like this. I am a Disney adult. I love me Disney do.

I go to the theme parks and watch the movies too. You'd love a cruise. I wouldn't. I've done a cruise with Pat Sharp. But it wasn't. It wasn't a Disney one. No, but it was a cruise and I don't like cruises.

So I'm saying you love a Disney one. No, I don't like the idea and the concept of cruisers. I was only on that cruise for three in a bit days and I was done by the end of the second. Absolutely done. And I don't think I could take a week of that. It's fucking, don't you think that's like stifling and like claustrophobic. I don't like it. I wouldn't want to do more than four nights.

That was fine, you know. I could imagine that. It's like a long weekend. I liked it. I did like being at sea. I enjoyed the ocean, you know? I don't mind it like it for. crossing the channel and it's nice

but like any more than like I don't know it wiggles me out it wiggles you out yeah not a fam I don't know what it is I don't like the idea of being on a boat in the middle of nowhere I mean yeah it did get rough oh here we go I got the audio clip this is six of eight I haven't got the audio clip I want to show you the front it's interminable I just want to show you the front

of this Disney cruise it's all they're all very garish no you like this what oh it's got the uh yeah sorcerer's apprentice sort of broom painting the sign on the boat Disney Dream. There's the other bro. Yeah. And look, you've got Mickey himself. But you know what?

He's something on the wires. Yeah, see him. Fantasia Mickey. But here's the thing. I adore Disney in the context of the theme parks themselves. There's something I find really naff about when you put it all on a cruise ship. Because it kind of feels like all you're really doing is going on a floating Disney store. Yeah.

Whereas like there's not the same kind of artistry or thought or... Yeah. It's just way too corporate cynical for me to enjoy that. I absolutely see where you're coming from. I just thought that was quite a nice... Honestly going to do a cruise. I don't want to do anything near Disney. I'd rather it be a luxurious, fine dining.

I'm with you. I'm with you. And you don't want to go for too long, like three or four nights at most. Absolutely. And what it was, which was good, is the fourth night. Was new night. No, the fourth day is sea day where you don't go anywhere. You're just at sea, which is cool.

I loved it. No, I don't like that. I don't like that. But then the next morning, you're already, early in the morning, you're already in the dock. Sea day is the day when terrorists take over it. Or that's when everyone gets the shits. Or that's when you can gamble from the word go because you're in international waters from the whole day.

So what everyone starts going like, bet on her to shoot herself in the head with a gun. No, they just play casino games. It's like, let's just put some piranhas in a bowl and see how long it gets down to the bone on this Russian immigrant. We've kidnapped from their home and put into a cage. So now we're in international waters. We can hunt them on the boat for sports.

It wasn't like that at all. Something like that. We want to clip six. Was there a snuff? Was there like a snuff cage where everyone would get around? big cage and watch people kill each other. Was it like that? No, it was all...

You put money on it. It was a family thing. This is 19 seconds long, clip six. No, like 19 seconds long. I love it. Once again, crew members involved in today's drill. Now proceed to your... What happened to be there?

What happened there? Well, that was just a bit of the ambience on the boat. It's British crew? Yeah, no, that's the cruise director. Joif. Joif. What the fuck? There's no such name was Joif.

I got on the cruise, yeah? Yeah. And they've got TV in your cabin, yeah? Right. And there's this guy. He's the cruise director. Joif. He's called Joff or Joif, yeah.

We can't, we try to find out who he was. But he's the cruise director, which means he's in charge, like, he's not the captain of the boat. No. He's the cruise director. Yeah. So he's very much like a hospital DJ. Or, you know what I mean? You know the type.

And I got obsessed with him because he was on the telly when I got into my cabin. been unpacking. He's there on the tell you going, yeah, we got this bingo tomorrow, whatever, you know. Everyone, join us for the 80s trivia. Yeah, basically, yeah. And like, all these things he's pushing, like activities on the boat. Fair enough. And then I got, when that was out, and I looked, and he was there,

I saw him. It's a real joff. So I was obsessed with him. My sister's actually got in a lift with him. He lives in Sussex. Yeah, they joff them off. Right, this is two minutes, this one. Right, okay, two minutes. We're in. This is seven of eight. Oh, this is six point two. Oh, there's nine, actually. Sorry, this is 6.2.

All right. What, six minutes? No. Okay, hello. It's been several days since my last message. To summarize, the cruise was a real eye-opener.

I ate so much on the second day. Mostly food. I was basically a solid, inert column of fudge, compacted fudge. Right. Slopping around a shopping mall at sea. So I'll have more to say, but here we are now, several days later, on TerraFerma, although I've got what they call land sickness, where it still feels like the boat is moving under me, although I'm very much, as you can hear, on solid ground. Now, I'm at the Goodwill Superstore donation centre, a absolutely beautiful, repurposed modernist building to do a bit of air chat.

shop shit. I mean, it's not official charity shop. I just thought I'd chime in, it's boiling hot here. So nice. We did a lot of trivia as well on the cruise, and I drank a lot of boozes. On the cruises.

I'm on a mission now to get unusual Pepsi drinks for our Nick Helm episode. Oh, which we've done. They've got the prebiotics out here. I've just put it to and pickles, just for me some pickles. Well, I would contest

are one of North America's greatest pickles brand. I believe they're actually Canadian, Bubbies. Bubbies. And they ain't cheap. It's $10, over $10 for a jar. Anyway, just about to go into the Goodwill. He's got a helmet on.

Love you guys. Oh, well, I was right, so you know, Paul's likes that one. Well, you know, did you go in? Yes. Is the next bit of recording a ball. that or can we talk about that now? That was 6.2. I don't think, yeah.

It's a great charity shop, like I say. Pick anything up. It's almost Gucci. It's modernist, but it's almost like with like struts. It's almost Gucci architecture. Okay. All right. That kind of thing. Is it one of those filling out an old building? Yes.

Yeah. Okay. And again, you can see photos, but it's great. Did you get any picked anything from there? What did you get? I can't remember what I bought in that one. I think I bought a glass sort of ashtray thing. Oh.

Like a Murano glass style. That's very brave to try and bring back. But I left it there because I, that would get smashed. That's what I thought And I was already Yeah, you don't want to end up with her And the year before I had a real nightmare in the airport

Getting, like I said, My bag broke open Going through TSA I had to buy a belt They made me pay 150 bucks Because my bags were the wrong size For the cabin So I wasn't messing with any of that shit this time

You know what I mean? I actually bought a new cabin bag And it was all sweet And they got my little And anyway, Barbies, man, do you know what wasn't out there? What?

All you pickle fans out there All I've learned from your trip so far is that you like pickles and you like drinking. Joif. And two things, and joif. Actually,

I'll give you joif. Joyf to the world. Joyf to the world. They didn't have those fucking pickles. What are they called? Grilloes. Really? I couldn't see them anywhere.

They were so good. Did we get some in LA though, didn't we when we went? Yeah. Did we? I think, I think. We're going to go back. Let's go back.

This is making you want to go to the States, my Florida missives, isn't it? Let's go back next year. You can almost feel something. I'm glad that the phone is such a good mic that it picks up some of ambient noise. No, no. But I mean, honestly, when I said to you,

don't bother with the ham might take that, you'll be fine. I've proved my point, right? Okay. It's just that you get a better stereo span with the hand recorder, which is more interesting when we do out about episodes and stuff. Are you ready for the longest clip of the lot? After this sound effect, I will be. Right, how long is this clip?

And do we need to take breaks? Almost nine minutes. Nine minutes? That and then there's just two minute one after that. Why is it nine minutes? Because this is when we taste the buzz balls. I tell you what I'm going to do, because I'm not holding this to the microphone,

because it hurts my arm. No, I'm going to put it on the table. Don't you think it will vibrate the mics? We're a little setting up a little thing. Like, go on. Okay, you ready for... Yeah, nine minutes. Clip seven.

There you go. Hello, everyone. It's another missive from Florida from Eli. Hello. Right, we've all been on a cruise, right? So what was the highlight for you, Jenny? This is my sister, Jenny, actual sister. What do you mean?

Um... As a part. Yeah. Jof, the English crew. There was this guy kind of cruise director called Jop. And he had the manner and vocal patterns of a regional hospital DJ. Eli wanted to bang him. I didn't want to bang him.

I was fascinated by him. Yeah, he wanted to bang him, Emma. Skittering around the deck and skittering around the boat. Turned on. You know, with busy. And then you saw... Confused feelings, Emma. You see him on the TV.

And then you're like, oh, there he is. You know what I mean? Fucking crazy. Eli never met him. This is other sister Lulu. Eli didn't meet him in the flesh, whereas me and Jenny got into the same elevator as him. And he's from Sussex, apparently. And he lives in Kensal Rise.

And he lived in Kensal Rise. I've lived there. So there you go. Eli loves a boy, your friend. Cruise highlight, please. Um, uh. Anything, really, just anything. Snorkeling was good.

Snorkeling was good. We've got Serge, brother-in-law, Serge here, who got us. The cruise, thank you very much, by gambling, getting points from gambling. What was your... Oh, I have another highlight. Oh, my God.

Would I have had pocket aces at the poker council? I don't want to talk about that. And I won $180. Oh, oh, Eli. What was your highlight of this particular? Did you shit the bed gambling god? I had the mean, dine. We met a

weeder, the name was Marlon. Look. We'll talk about that incident. Yeah, well, of course. I would be very interested. We don't want to miss any of this goal. All right. Serge, what was your highlight of this particular cruise for you?

At the main dining, we met a waiter. His name was Marlon, otherwise known as Marlon Brando, and the service was exquisite, where we had to go back again and again and again. And he, like a lot of the people who worked on the boat, was from the Philippines, was he? Yeah. You want to talk now?

I thought Isaac didn't want to be involved. This is Brother Isaac. What was your highlight? Damas husband. My highlight was the breakfast buffet. Oh, yeah. The endless eggs and hash browns. Actually, another highlight was when Eli ate two balls of cream cheese.

Christ. Yeah, I got two balls. Your family are gluttons. Do you know that? The third plate consisted of me eating about 18 rashes of bacon and two balls of smear. Great. Shmere for non-juice is cream cheese. Right.

However, The real shmise is not my last... I picked up a couple of things today and they're relevant because we tasted all the... All but one of the buzzballs that were available

when we did a walk around Crystal Palace on Cheap Show. And I've managed to secure two very rare in Britain buzzball flavours. We've got grapes gone wild. We've got pink lemon squeezy.

Now I've seen that Grape's gone wild, but it goes for double the price because they have to import it from the States. Right. I think the pink one's going to be proud. Okay, but let's just quickly taste these. It's so good. It's so good.

I'm huffing. I'm huffing. I love the grapes one. That's my sister's boyfriend. Oh my God, I've just huffed the grapes's gone wild. They haven't gone wild. The grapes have gone off. That's the whole point out.

Ah, it's gray. No, it's powerful. It's a color of my new shoes. All right. I've got ice, I put it on ice, because we're finishing it. No, we're not. Absolutely. Who wants to taste it first?

I'll start. This is Mark. Mark is my sister, Jenny's partner. No one cares, Eli. He just loves booze. He's not alone there, is he? You got anything to say? He's made your noise.

That noise you made is exactly the one Paul does on every episode. Yeah, it's fucking copyrighted. Okay. It smells all right. Jenny? Okay, let's see. Oh my God, it tastes like Drano. The half is very alcohol.

It's very boozy. Wow, really? It tastes like that fucking peach snaps from back in the day. It was disgusting. Thank you, Isaac. And Lulu? I'm going to have to damn whatever you don't finish, guys. Oh, I'll take another slip.

It's MD 2020. It's like MD 2020. MD 2020. It tastes like MD 2020, everybody. Thunderbolt. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Funderbird. Funderburd.

It's not that bad. Now, it's a big thing with young ladies of a certain demographic on public transport in London to preload with these. It's big, fashionable with Gen Z. Really? Yeah. It is. It is.

Yeah. Yeah, we love it. Fuck yeah. Fucking A, what? Eh, mate. Some of them. Eli, do not. Eli, do not.

No. Oh, my God. Give me a little taste of this. It has toilet cleaner finish. Mark loves it. It definitely has. It has a toilet finish cleaner, cleaner finish. We're almost done.

Did you have to clean a hopperic. I think to win a fight closed for a bottle. That's so hard. Ah. Christ. Right. It matches your shirt. I'm just going to put the lemon squeezy

wherever the fuck it is. in the same thing. Oh my gosh. Right. Same color. It's red. It's pink. This is the pink lemon.

We're now we've moved on from the grape. No, it's pink lemon I can't remember. What's it called? The grape's gone wild. Oh, it's a happy life. You're gonna vomit tonight. No or not, it's fine. The same because I'm feeling.

Pink lemon squeezy. Should we go the same way round? the huff report please this is the best of him to taste it is here that Isaac's asking for the huff report that's an important aspect of cheap show that I came up with like most other things I love you Paul

please put this in the show please what you think I'm going to do that now right this is Mark was first no hell yeah we're getting a hufferport I prefer the half on this it's a lemonadey half it's better it's very urinal

urinal you're ironed still urinal yeah More urinal. Urinal heap. Wow. It reminds me of a fruit stripe candy. Or like the gum.

Remember the fruit striped gum? Yeah, yeah. Exactly like that. It's got a sort of sweet. It's a better flavor already. We're liking it better than the grape, which is coming back up my throat. By the way, I know I mentioned before,

but we've all had land sickness because we were on the cruise for four days. And it means, when he stopped moving when you're in the supermarket or whatever it feels like you're on a fucking boat no it means you're all fucking alcoholics

and you've got the fucking shakes is what it means all right the half's done the half's nice there we go have you tasted this yet Mark I know oh there you go

this is the lemon squeasy hey hey sucking past the ice first thoughts then it's quite tart and with a hint of

piss it's nice literally. He's not a comedian, Mark. Jenny doesn't like it from her face. Hard, hard lemonade. That's what it smells like. It tastes hard.

It's very lemony and overly boozy again. Yeah, they try and pack a punch because they're preloaded specialists, man. Yeah. What percent is this? 15. And Lulu, lastly. No, I prefer the grape.

I literally prefer the grape. Oh my God, I have to down this. You're going to help me with this, Mark. You don't need to dance this? I have to drink on this. Never have to? No. No. No, that's right, man. Jesus.

Wept. Oh, gosh. I prefer that to the grape. I prefer it to the grape. That's a fucking monster. Yeah, listen to me. It wants to stay down in my belly more than the grape did. Put it that way.

Because the grape wants to jump right back out my throat and turn to puky, puky. Anyway, I'm not making sense anymore. We've got one more Scrabble game. And I've won three in a row, guys. Yay. I did him in the last one. I've won three in a row

And here is another missing from Florida Ooh Family Wasn't that charming Right do you want to hear the poker story Yes tell me about how you fucking lost a lot of money in poker probably go on Right So the casino like I said Paul

Yeah The casino is really Stop touching your mic Sorry the casino really is at the heart Of the whole cruising enterprise Yeah My search looked it up The reason we got those free

The holiday Was because he'd gambled Before on a cruise And he looked it up They make on a cruise Of sort of four days The casino takes about Fucking 1.3 million

Wow There's 2,000 guests on the boat Yeah Yeah, it's a lot of money Coming in and out Yeah And how much of yours Went out then

They have to leave port And wait till they're in International Waters Before they can open the casino up Do you see what I mean? Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah So it's like this weird

Sort of about the law And that's why they want to have C-Day so they can have the casino the whole time. Right. So the casino is like mainly... Basically C-day is like when a bar opens late for New Year's Eve.

You know, it's getting as much money in as long as night. So it has a bar right in the middle of the casino. It's really sort of garish, obviously. Like Vegas or something. Yeah, yeah, of course. All loads and loads of slots. That's mainly slots, yeah. Yeah.

They've got like three blackjack tables. Right. You're not a blackjack guy. No. No. And like a couple of roulette wheels. I never play that shit. That's the worst.

One craps table, one poker table. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, is there a poker game? And they're like, yeah, there's one game. It starts at eight. And so the first night... Just one game? Yeah.

Because it's not that big. On one table? Yeah. I thought that would be more popular. Yeah. I've heard about casinos on boats having like... There's nothing more. 10 tables of poker, yeah.

But this wasn't a really huge boat as these things go. It was a huge boat. But it was... Still, but one table, though. With a scheduled match that you had to buy in? Did you have to book an advance to join the table? No. you could put your name on the list.

But I missed it the first night. You put a stack of ten peas on the corner of the table. No, not like that. I missed it the first night, though. Right. And I thought, uh, you know, this isn't great. You want, like, be a wide field for you to be better than some of the players. You know what I mean?

Yes, more variables. Anyway, I shouldn't have worried about the quality of the players. Except for one, apparently. Listen, you can lose if you play well, that person. That's why... Whatever you have to tell yourself to get to bed at night. Look, shut. It was tough to you.

you in it shut up anyway so the second night and I discussed my disappointment with my siblings yeah at that first night

that I couldn't play the cards because it wasn't enough people to make the game it didn't actually go ahead because they didn't get enough players

that's surprising to me to be honest but I guess they're just like slots so they're playing you know mindless shit

yeah instant gratification almost kind of things yeah poker's much more of a it's not just pure

gambling it's been discussed before yeah yeah but then my brother Serge goes hey hey listen

if you need people to sit down we can sit down at the table to get the going. So just, okay, and I'm like, that seems a bit weird because, you know. But then the next night, they call, I'm in the casino, and they

call for the game, and I go there and I buy in for 150 bucks. Oh, dear. Okay. Yeah. They only get, like, two other players. Right. So three and all? No, this is the, no. The first night, the second night, it did, I just, it did fill up, basically. Who's on first? No, it did fill up, and

we were playing two, five. Right. Which means the blinds are $2 and $5. Right. Right. And that is higher than I've ever played, basically. Okay. Poker. Okay.

It's the most expensive game of poker I've ever played in. Right. Okay. And then the first night... So already you get the cold chills about the prospect of playing this, right? I'm like... I've been making a big deal about this. This is the first night.

Yeah. And then it fills up eight players. Right. Okay. What you want? And drinking, I'm thinking, oh, are these people... Eight, seven people you don't know. Yes.

Right. And I'm thinking are they going to be good, you know? Yeah. What's going to happen? I don't have a lot of money, obviously, to lose. You know. No. Like, you don't do you.

So I'm thinking, you know, we'll see how this is. It could be a short game. They played like terribly. Everyone was just calling big bets before the flop, three or four people just gambling it up. You know what I mean? Right. Like just. They're not professional anyway, shape or form.

They're probably played. They're on a party boat. Yeah. A bit drunk. They're into. Wait, wait. I've watched it on the telly. Which means you can't push them around.

You can't bluff them because they'll just call their dislike. Because they're not playing that way. So that means you have to wait for good hands to yourself. Right. Basically. Is that the strategy? Does that make the game harder for you then? Yes.

Because you have to... Because there's no gamesmanship. Yeah. You can't push them off. It's like... Yeah. You know, they're always... You're tolerating the weakest players.

The thing in, hold them, you try and get it down. You try and raise pre-flop to get it down to just you and one other player heads up. Yeah. And then you can... Then there's strategies you can use playing heads up. When once you start going multi-way... Can we get to the point where your sister beat you? Yes.

Thank you. Once you get multi-way, like lots of people seeing the flop, then it's much the variable to much higher. I've been in many situations. where I've had multiplayer to everyone see my flop. The chance of someone hitting the hand with like two weird

random cards is higher with the more people in. Yeah. See what I mean? So it was difficult. And I eventually lost the whole 150 in a hand. Right.

In one hand? Well... In one go. Yeah. I raised pre-flop with Ace King, all of it. Yeah. This guy called me with Pocket 8

and no Ace or King came. And so I reached into my pocket and got another 100 quid. Oh no. $100. This is the first night. When people say to me, Oh, go easy on Eli.

He's not a reprobate gambler. He's the truth. Degenerate gambler is the word. Same difference. Digen. That was the name of the holiday. Degenre. Yeah.

Anyway, the Digen was our whole motto as a family. And yeah, and consistent family arms. But anyway, after I got that, bought that second hundred, I started to hit a few hands. And then like two or three players left the table. So we were down to six. Right. Or five at some point. And I'm much better.

Again, the strategy changes when you're short-handed. You be more aggressive. You be... And so I just want to hear about the bit where your sister embarrassed you. I won all my money back that night plus $35. So I was up that first night. It's a happy win. Second night, the scenario I described, I'm there at the beginning.

Not enough people. Not enough people. My family's there. My brother's there. My brother-in-law is at the craps table. He didn't even want to say how much he lost. It's the dice one, isn't it? Yeah.

It's like, I still don't understand it. No. I mean, like, you know. That's the rule for that game. We don't understand that stay away from it. No, it's people, they think it's the most exciting and social. of all of those casino games. It's almost always the most popular.

Just because they've seen him in movies though, in it? No, but it is social because you're betting on the outcome, the roller, the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It's got structural things. However, so I'm there, and my sister's in there, and I'm like, oh, this game's not going to go ahead. Serge, Lulu, do you want to go see it there?

So my sister's sitting next to me there, and my brother-in-law's there, and they play real bad. And then, my sister... My sister gets into this hand with one of these guys, right? Right. And it's like, she raises pre-flot. The guy called... And the guy bets like $50 dollars into her.

And I'm like, oh, Lulu's going to lose this. Loo, she goes and does this thing where she kind of does his fake sigh. Goes, oh, I guess I raise all over in. I'm like, what? Is that a move? He called, she's got pocket aces, the best starting hand in Holden. Yeah. Scoops the pot.

He calls her with fuck all. So what did she take home? She played it really well, though, because he was like representing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's two sevens and he was representing a third seven. But she knew it wasn't very likely that he had. had that seven based on the previous action. Yeah. So she caught, she wased all in.

One like, like she said, it was like $180 pot. Nice. It's all right there. And then a few hands later she's off. And I don't get a fucking single card the whole time. And I lose, I lose 150 that night. So I'm down 1 15 from the 35. I won the night before. If you see what me. I think you could have spent that on booze, a nice big bottle of champagne or something. No, but I got free drinks on the thing. Oh yeah. True. So I literally couldn't spend money. I had this money in my thing. There was no way to spend money on the boat. All the food's free. All the drinks are free. The entertainment's free. There's nothing to spend it on. Sex? No, there's no...

You don't know that. Well, what you do is you put a pineapple. You put your pineapple. Jophe has a man, I'm sure. No, no. I'm talking about Jop could set you up. He might have a like a harim of women. It's not about it. It's a family cruise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, if you put like an upside down pineapple on your door, because all the doors of the cabins have these little whiteboards on. Yeah. And they was all getting a bit weird. So what happens if you put a pineapple upside down? It means you swing. Do you? Yeah. I was... I was... sleeping in a cabin with my brother, so there was none of that shan ends.

I wasn't saying there would have been. But what I'm saying is, if you'd met a lady that night, what would you have taken her back to? You couldn't have taken her back. Because my brother was there, yeah. So you'd have to do her on the stairwell. It was all about family and gambling. Mostly gambling, drinking and then family.

But that was, it was really funny. Should we get into the last clip? It was funny that she totally played a blinder. Played a blinder. You know? She schooled you, mate. She did. She was the only one of the family who was up on all the gambling.

Right, I'm tired of this. Last clip. Oh. Last clip. After all that, here we go with the final clip. Hang on. Oh, hello everybody. It's looking like it's my last missive from Florida.

Lou, as I get a car sick. No. I'm leaving now. What's this encampment called? The shores. I'm leaving the shores where my sister, Lucy Ann lives. And I'm going down to Miami International to go and it is really lovely the weather very hot for me

it's 82 Fahrenheit 82 Fahrenheit no one knows what that is 27 it's high to yeah it's like the high 20s I think 28 29 which I call hot it is hot anyhow I hope this makes it into a podcast I know you're mocking me now as we listen to this back Paul so fuck you man

no fuck you can't people like a bit of just mellow Portage. Yeah. Speaking of Melo reportage, Jenny, get the Lula drink out or whatever. Oh, this is we taste the drink for you.

You want the olive? What's that? Do you want to try the Olly? Yeah. Well, first up, we've got the Lulow. Remember the fruit drink? Yeah. Juice drink by hit.

Some kind of fruit. Did you like that, Jenny? No, I bought it for myself. It looks like it might be guava. It smells like pear. Oh. Oh, it's like a sour pear flavor. God, that's nice. Delicious.

Lulu is scrunching her face in disgust. I'll see what we'll get some over here. That's fucking nasty. Why do you not like it? I mean, it's not terrible. I think it's guava, he. I couldn't drink a lot. No, look, there it is.

It looks different. It's a type of guava maybe. We could look it up. Anyway, now we're on to the, not quite onto the road all the way south to my... This is Yamato. This is Yamato. So I beg your pardon. Yamata Road.

This is your mutter. Your mother? Everyone. And I thought that was quite refreshing, actually. It's very sweet. I'll go for some of that pocket meat. I've got tuna bagel. I mean...

Do you want the tuna bagel? She did me a tuna bagel. I don't know. I feel to have the tuna bagel, but that's just a bit rude in the car, isn't it? It's fine. I might have it at the airport. Anyway...

I did. Thanks for listening to these bits and pieces. everyone thanks here's my last missive hopefully I'll see you on the other side cheerio everyone well thank you Eli for sharing yet again another tale of the porch family recklessness

it was a great little break it sounded lovely well you know what it does make me want to go back to LA and do another bunch of episodes out of it anyway maybe next year yes we go again I want to see that bridge and I want to see go in that fucking mystery crime book shop up in Hollywood. Also, I want to take you to that street where it has all your Halloween shops and the mystic shops and the retro game thing.

I should have gone in that shop. It was just so sweaty from that walk. Do you remember? And I just felt like I'm just going to sweat on a bunch of antique books. It's not going to be like, you know. Now we need to explore downtown more because we didn't do that much last time. Yeah. No, I'd love it.

I'd do the walk up to the Hollywood sign. I honestly love, LA. I love L.A. I love it. That donut shop, man. I've got to go back there. I went back there. You went back there.

Did you get a savory thing? No, I got a... God, they're so good. I think got the one with the Golden Graems on. Yeah. Oh! The food trucks and stuff.

Lovely. Anyway, thanks for listening. Anyway, yeah, thanks for listening. Look, hello. This is a bit of a fun one. Next week we've got some records and what else are we going to do next week? Oh, we've got a record that I played you today.

Yes. A very strange thing. When we say one of the kind, we almost maybe mean it literally. It's crazy that I found that. So we'll be back next week for more Cheap Show fun. Hopefully we can confirm the decals finally at the live show. But effectively, yeah, August 23rd in Cambridge,

keep your diaries free. Start thinking ahead to that. Tickets on sale for Patreon soon. Public little on down the line. Little on down the line. And our website, the Cheapshotocer.com. UK is our one-stop shop where you can go to that website and go to anywhere else on the internet where we are via it.

We are, via it. Every episode has an accompanying page with videos and pictures and things like that. It's an accompanying page. We have our fortnightly cheap shots videos on YouTube. We're going to do a few those. We are going to do a few those soon. We're going to do a few those soon. We have to do a few of those soon.

And then finally, we couldn't be doing this podcast 11 years down the line, close to 500 episodes without the beautiful and wonderful support of our Patreon supporters who make us able to do this. So thank you to all of those wonderful folk. And if you'd like to join them, go to patreon.com forward slash cheap show. Give what you can, but please only if you can. And if you can't spread the word? Can I add something to that?

Yeah. I've got a side order of McScritchies. McScrunch. You didn't really add anything to that then. I know, I never do, do I, Paul? It might as well just be you. Well, I have been thinking about that. But we'll see.

Right, see you next week. Bye. Bye, bye, everyone.